#dopamine where are you

[inkskinned]

today i love the red metal crane in her long neck arching her body over the boston skyline, which means i am okay for a moment. when i am unwell, everything is a little ugly. i always tell myself look for the beauty but when it is bad, i will look at birds and sunsets and little ducklings and feel absolutely nothing.

when my brother got his puppy, i was in a deep depression. what kind of monster isn't affected by a puppy. i was gentle and kind to her - i just didn't have an emotional reaction. she's five now and i feel like i spend all of our interactions apologizing to her - i don't know why. i just didn't feel anything. how embarrassing. i feel like if i admit that, i'll seem cruel and jaded. it comes in waves. like, two months ago when i went out into the world - it was like that. life behind a pane of stormglass. a firework could go off over your head - nothing. like dead skin, no reaction. not to ice cream or rainbows or baby chickens. life foggy and uninteresting.

i love goslings again. i love their little webbed feet splayed over grass. i love good food and live music and long walks. i like puppies. i feel like some kind of my soul has been starved - i keep staring at everything with wide eyes, trying to burrow the sensation into my stomach. it's real. beauty is real. when it's bad again, remember this. i stop and smell the flowers, feeling cliche in the moment. i like the white-to-red ombre of my neighbor's roses. i like colorcoding and yoga and cold drinks. i try to pass my hands over every moment, feeling like i'm squeezing joy out of every instant. remember this. for the love of god, it's real - just remember this.

[flowercrowngods]

hi. go say something nice to your favourite writer(s). let them know they’re loved and seen and appreciated, and that their place in this world is not dependent on whether or not they’ve written anything recently. write that comment on that fic you’ve re-read for the fifth time just now. invade that ask box and give them some flowers in thanks. imagine a world in which they don’t write anymore, and be aware of the power that lies in kindness and genuine, random appreciation.

[kazumahashimoto]

man, am i hungry.

[astracora]

A Mandated Holiday Break - Chapter 8

Characters: Sylus x gn!mc (poly lads)

Warnings: Sylus myth mentioned, mild hurt/comfort

Word Count: 1424

Written: 22nd December 2024

Notes: Post-relationship Sylus/MC-centric but poly LADs, with my personal pov of the game and lil headcanons littered in.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Sylus enjoys a karaoke bar, especially if he's got access to you for a duet. You tease him but you'll always join him, hanging onto his arm and letting loose, and he sometimes falters over the words because he's too busy watching your face.

Still, this is good too. You've set up the game system that the doctor bought for his base, presenting it with a sigh. 'You won't know the right one.'

He'd been a little insulted, but he'd acquiesced, in the end the doctor knows gaming better than he does. It's never appealed to him, and he's never had real time to try. A sing-a-long game is loading up, yelling out 'let's sing' loudly from the speaker system.

You'd presented it to him with the doctor, beaming, "You'll like this one, I promise!"

The fish had groaned from the sofa, "Why do we all have to suffer the crow's crooning?"

As much as you've teased him for being out of tune, you've always encouraged him. He can't count how many times you've asked him to hum for you. Lay against his chest, and unable to sleep for nightmares.

The reason for the at-home karaoke session, are the cocktails that Luke has decided he wants to try making. Kieran is his primary test dummy, and if anything doesn't make him spit it straight back out. You're trying them.

It's ill advised… Sylus knows you're not a light weight, but he does know you and the twins can get competitive. It feels like it's only moments before you start doing shots together, and if that happens he's bound to get dragged in, and as quick healing as he is, he doesn't fancy driving anyone anywhere. Nor does he want to get into a taxi with someone he doesn't trust. Not with you and the twins.

He needs you safe.

He also blames you for Luke’s new hobby, you’d showed them some movies, made comments about how stylish a good bartender is, (He hadn’t filed that information away, to practice. At all.), and Luke had taken that as a challenge.

“It can’t be that hard.”

“Yeah! You can do it bro!”

You’d laughed and not thought anything of it. They’d gone out, and returned with… boxes.

Then raided his alcohol supply.

He’d dragged them both back by the scruff of the neck when they went for the very expensive top shelf. In no world were they mixing that with… was that moonshine? Where did they even get moonshine from?

He doesn’t see you drunk often, there are times you’re out in busy places because you feel you have to attend, and he’s seen you drink then to soften the anxiety and stress. You always call someone to be there then, drunk you is far more willing to rely on others. He also has seen you drink when you feel safe, has carried you on his arm more than once in those situations.

You apologise but there’s no need, especially when he gets to see the embarrassed but enamoured look on your face as he holds you in one arm. Your fingers drifting over the veins in his bicep, with a look he can only describe as hungry. He flexes a little more than he needs to on those occasions.

(There was one time you’d made a comment about beef clod, and he had truly not known how to respond.)

He can see you getting to that point now, you’re trying something green that you and Kieran are sipping from the same glass with separate straws. Luke is taking his turn at the microphone, singing something about what he wants for Christmas. Sylus is unsure if the radioactive green drink is good for either of you, but you don’t look sick, still. He’s wary, and flicks your forehead. As you put a hand to the targeted area, pulling away with an offended ‘Oi’, he grabs the glass and sips from your straw.

“Aww, Boss come on.”

It’s… not as bad as he expected, but he can’t imagine drinking it for fun.

Whether his taste buds are ‘broken’ like you’ve claimed before, and its somehow worse than he tastes, he still doesn’t feel good about putting it back in either your’s or Kieran’s hands. So he downs it.

Wrinkling his nose and pushing the glass away.

Before you can grab another concoction, now that Luke is back and shoving something else onto his brother, (He’s going to have to hide the key to the liquor cabinet he thinks, if this becomes a long standing hobby for them.), he pulls you over to the karaoke machine. “It’s our turn kitten, I’m owed a song for saving you from a terrible fate.”

Your tongue is out at him, but you stumble over grabbing his arm to steady yourself, and pick up the controller to find something you both know well enough to get through it with little effort.

His song repertoire has grown substantially since you’ve reentered his life, he feels confident that anything you sing to often he has memorised. Catalogued away to think about on nights you’re not here to sing for him.

When you’re satisfied, lining up a particular choice, you thrust the microphone into his hand, that’s not currently steadying you at the waist.

You look right at him when the song starts, familiar with some things enough to sing them blindfolded, and as tipsy as you are, with your voice wavering a little, he’s as starstruck as he always is.

“And I’d give up forever to touch you, ‘Cause I know that you feel me somehow, You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be, And I don’t want to go home right now.”

There’s moments in his life, where Sylus wonders if he blinks, will you disappear? A fragile illusion on a wishful soul. That someone, somewhere has truly seen into him and seen something worth adoring and loving. He thinks you are easy to love, there can be no doubt that you are worthy without the need to earn it.

“And all I can taste is this moment, And all I can breathe is your life.”

You have reminded him, again and again that you love him, that he does not need to pay for it, or gift for it. That everything that is offered is freely given, and wholehearted. That there is nothing to earn. It is not a transaction, no relationship should be. You do not keep score, and you would rather he did not either.

“And sooner or later it’s over, I just don’t want to miss you tonight.”

It still leaves him with the feeling that in seconds he could wake up, in a cold cave, surrounded by gems he no longer sees beauty in, in a world where he is nothing but broken horns and lost family.

“And I don’t want the world to see me, ‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand, When everything’s meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.”

He loves you, he loves his life with you, and he is so scared-

Your hands move to his cheeks, his voice halts, wavering and pausing. Blinking at you. The microphone is out of your hands and you stretch up as tall as you can pressing a kiss to his eyelids. He almost drops his own, hand tightening on your waist. You sing just for him, lips at his cheek now, and his breath escapes in a long exhale, shaking.

You are his, you are his, you are his.

When his heart wavers, yours is there, keeping it beating, in time to a song only you can hear.

He is yours, he is yours, he is yours.

“I just want you to know who I am.”

He lifts you into his arms, and he sings with you, game forgotten because it doesn’t matter. Nothing else matters. If you are happy, he is happy, and he is so very happy with you in his arms.

If he wakes up tomorrow and you are not here, he will find you anywhere. He has done it before, and he will do it for the rest of time, because you are the one who sees him.

And later, when you are laughing and stumbling through his bedroom door, trying to pull away from the uncontrolled kisses he plants on your skin, tickling you and nipping, he will swear into your skin that he will always see you too.

Whoever you choose to be.

[barksbog]

i always Really hated running but running with leon is honestly really enjoyable

I think it's just the motivation of seeing how happy it makes him instead of just having my own breathing and exhaustion to focus on

[oneshotgremlin]

Like nothing ever happened

@pizzabox-box holy shit your au has been living in my brain rent free and I must give payment for this disease /pos

Pep was never much of a morning person. For as long as he had been a person, for whatever that’s worth. Regardless, no matter how sleepless the night before was or how groggy he was at the current moment, he had a pizzeria to run.

Firing up the oven, taking out the toppings, prepping for business practically out of auto pilot (he’d ask himself which auto was piloting him but honestly he was too out of it and it was too early to start spiraling into another existential crisis).

(And maybe he should’ve. Really, it was only a matter of time before he’d slip up)

It was when he walked back to the kitchen, sauce at the ready for ladling onto his freshly stretched dough, when he realized said dough had somehow fallen from the  countertop and onto the floor.

A pair of eyes were peering up from it to meet him, the dough crawling closer out of apparent curiosity. 

He now was acutely aware that his bare hand was starting to melt onto the rubber handle of the spoon.

Fuck FUCK FUCK-

Gustavo and Brick would clock in at any second and they couldn’t see this they couldn’t see it they’d know they’ll all KNOW-

Just. He picked it up, cringing as it wriggled in his grasp. Just get rid of it. He laughed a bit at himself. How could he be so stupid panicking over something like this? He’s done it before, all the time! Back in his pizzeria! Just get rid of it! Just bite it and tear it apart! It’ll be like nothing happened!

Just.

He picked it up, and it looked at him with wide eyes.

Just…

He struggled against the limbs holding him, whimpering and begging.

…just…

It bit down, and his screams were cut off with a sickening crunch.

…

The taste of metal filled its mouth. Its hands, its teeth, it was all dripping with red. His red.

…

He mechanically shoved the creature into a pizza box, it giving little squeaks of protest before seeming to settle down. And step, by step, by step, one foot somehow landing in front of the other he left the restaurant.

In a time span that felt like nothing and perpetual static, the rubble of the tower came to view and he lightly set the pizza creature down at the clearing. Thankfully, the moment it touched the ground it turned tail and ran far away from him.

‘There.’ He thought. Trudging back to the pizzeria, excuses and fake explanations swimming in his mind in anticipation of Gustavo asking why he’d been out and any other questions born of well meaning concern that was never meant for him.

‘Like nothing ever happened.’

[merakisphere]

I just recently took a look at my Etsy shop stats, and I was surprised to find out that almost a third of my views/favourites/add-to-carts are from the United Kingdom! Is it the fidgeting aspect that makes this popular over there like it is in the USA, or is it the intricate design, and ornamental nature of it? I'm curious!

My 3D wire mandalas are handcrafted from start to finish. They make wonderful fidget toys, fashion bracelets, ornaments, and more. I make them in hundreds of styles and colours, and I even take custom requests if you have a creative idea in mind!

Honestly, I don't have a preference for where customers purchase my items, both platforms have their strengths and weaknesses.

Please consider browsing my Etsy Shop as I recently put in a lot of work to enhance my customer experience, and overall aesthetics of my listings. PLUS! I've found a way to ship my handmade wire mandalas to the UK for under $10CAD. Yay!

[asclexe]

the house md fandom would be fixed by more femlash

[mewnikisses]

Man why'd I get the f/o autism instead of the useful autism

[lawrencespen1777]

Maybe it’s the writer in me. Maybe it’s the tism prism. But I grow weary of the endless cycle that is mass produced drabbles followed by periods of self loathing.

[clownprince]

less constant bombastic all-out huge stakes events in comics more of whatever the fuck is going in one operation joker

[suddencolds]

~

[isdalinarhot]

This August it will be 3 years since I started being in gay autistic love with Dalinar. This is the longest anybody, real or fictional, has held my Favorite Person Ever position. At this point Dalinar and I are straight up married. I am legit just Mr Dalinar Kholin. I think I might die with cosmere/Stormlight/Dalinar as my special interest. Dalinar I love you!!!!!!!‼︎ I know you will never love me back but that’s okay!!!!!‼︎ we can 69 in my mind palace <3

[dumbbullet]

obsessed with the the way these dudes move on stage, so ive been doing figure studies while we're slow at work

[savage-rhi]

[ratwithhands]

your battle addict au has really peaked my interest! it sounds so cool and i’m already invested ^^

Aaaa thank you!! Glad to see people are enjoying the show ^^

Wish I had some more content for you guys since the AU is actually really short and simple 👁����)💦 It's more slice of life compared to my more story oriented AUs, mostly focused on how perceptions shift and how daily life changes when important information comes to light.

If I can, I'd love to get some short/episodic comics out for you guys, like something about the trip to Sinnoh or the hunt for Garchomp. This AU is mostly just a bunch of small moments bundled into a larger collection, so it's probably better suited for shorter posts/sketches.

Anyway! Thank so much you for your interest :D your support means more than you think ^^ hope you have a good night!