#running in the woods also helps. compared to school where we ran laps around the soccer field

[barksbog]

i always Really hated running but running with leon is honestly really enjoyable

I think it's just the motivation of seeing how happy it makes him instead of just having my own breathing and exhaustion to focus on

[thedappleddragon]

Day 123 (Tuesday July 14th)

I woke up feeling wierd in a way that’s hard to describe. As if every other day i woke up like a clean cut 2x4 piece of wood, but today I was partially rotted and covered in dirt, trying to be fit into the same space as a clean board. Idk. But I stayed in my room for a while and made eggs for breakfast. My friends set up a dnd session last minute in our rich friend’s basement, and at first I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go. But then more people responded in the group chat and I saw my one really friendly male friend was going so I made up my mind to go. I told my mom I would need a ride and went outside in my backyard for a while with my cat. She was really cute laying in the sun and purring, but I feel bad because she can’t see outside. Her eyes are always as big as dinner plates, and while it super cute, it might also mean she has brain damage and can’t adjust her pupils. I practiced driving with my mom and sister for about 45 minutes and I did really badly. I know how roundabouts work but I fucked them up a little bit and she kept yelling at me about not slowing down and stopping properly. She was right but it still made me mad, and I was at least partially spaced out the entire time.

I got out of the car and helped the host friend look for their dnd figurine for a while until we decided that it was lost and went to the basement. She went around looking a while longer while the rest of us set things up, picking out dice and doing the best we could with limited figurines. The host eventually brought out a tray full of squinkies (tiny squishy animal toys) and Japanese erasers (the kind you take apart and put together but never actually use as an eraser). I ended up using a rock from the driveway as my figure, and the host used a little pendant with a shiny dragon scale pattern on it.

None of us knew who was going to dm before we got there, so we decided to take turns, which quickly lead to our dice goblin friend DMing. It was her first time, but she did really good!! The party started off in a tavern obviously, rolling for inebriation. Valka is underage but was served alcoholic apple cider instead of apple juice on accident lol. Then a fourtune teller approached and answered one question for each of us. I asked if Valka’s dad was doing ok, since he was on his boat and she was on land and they hadn’t seen each other in a while. He missed her 🥺. The fortune teller was sketchy and creepy and probably scammed us but it was fun anyway. The next morning a little boy approaches us, asking if we can help find his dog. We were all suspicious at first, but Valka trusted him pretty quickly. We followed him until he ran into the forest, where we were immediately suspicious again, questioning him about what kind of dog he was looking for and if there really was a dog or if it was an illusion. We reached a clearing in the forest where he pulled out a knife and 3 bandits jumped out of the bushes. Valka immediately pulled out a mace and hit him upside the head, having no problem beating up a fellow child. Combat was going great until the first “bandit” was killed, whereupon the little boy turned his head around and shouted “DAD!” My soul SHATTERED in that moment. The next bandit got hit and the the kid whipped his head the other direction and cried out “DAD!” again. The dog went down and he cried out “CHARLIE, NO!” We were atracking this poor child’s dog and two gay dads. The third bandit, their daughter, ran the other way. When Valka’s turn rolled around she ran over to the unconscious dad and spent a health potion she had stolen back when school was in session and dnd club was still a thing. He was still unconscious, but stable. She was the first to stop attacking because she loves her dad very much, and could never imagine what she would do if her father was hurt or killed. We called for the family to come back. They were very poor, having to resolve to mugging and petty crime to survive. We all apologized for attacking and set up a campfire in the clearing.

We rolled for an order in which to tell stories around the fire, but then the host friend offered to make chicken tenders for us all so we paused the game. We sat downstairs and chatted for a little while until I realized the host wasn’t coming back downstairs, so we went upstairs and sat on the couch and talked. I laid down, and dice goblin friend laid down perpendicular to me and I burst out laughing from the sudden urge to just slap her face. Later, she picked up her head and I sat upright normally, instinctually picking up a pillow and putting it on my lap. She laid back down with her head on the pillow, so I patted her head and stole her glasses. We all traded glasses and compared eyesight like people always do whenever someone takes off their glasses. When the chicken tenders were done, we brought them downstairs along with chips and dips and goldfish and snacked and listened to the host talk about star wars to way too long. Friendly male friend had to leave, and dice goblin and baby friends’ social batteries were running low, so we hmmed and hawed for a minute wondering what to do until the host recommended watching a movie. We watched History of the World Part 1, and it was really damn funny and vulgar. I probably would have preferred if it was toned down a little bit, and all my favorite parts were the lack of sex/orgy jokes, but I still enjoyed it. Then we settled into quietly drawing together. I drew moments from the night and inside jokes and whatever came to mind.

I had some pizza and watched YouTube and painted the driveway rock I took, just kind of chilling for a while. I checked artfight and accidentally made myself mad. I got upset that I put a lot of effort into my attacks to make them look nice, and not liking some of the attacks I get back. I understand that that’s just part of artfight and not every artist is at the same skill level, and it might sound petty of me, but whatever. What makes me the most upset was when all the other pieces an artist made for other people look really nice, but then the one they made for me looks rushed or in a different style. Idk man typing this out makes me feel like an asshole, but I still want to document my thoughts and feelings. If anyone from AF is reading this, don’t worry!! I’m not mad at you!!! It’s all good.

[ceruleanmusings]

5 and 15 which could possibly be written together - weather and state of undress.

It’s official, I can’t write anything “short” to save my life. Also, I kinda of cheated with this because the beginning part was already written since it was a potential intro to a fic further in my Blackbird series that I had scrapped. It was just serendipitous that you chose the two themes I was going to use anyway so it made it a tad bit easier. This takes place the summer before season 3 when Erica and Boyd are missing. One of these days I’ll write something from Isaac’s POV.

Pair: Isaac Lahey / Melanie Crowe (Melisaac)Fandom: Teen WolfPrompt: 5 and 10, First time they got caught in bad weather with (just) each other) and first time they saw one another in a state of undress?Send me an OTP prompt

“Mel!” Isaac’s voice sounded over the rushing wind as it battered the trees around them. Another boom of thunder cracked in the sky which was quickly followed by a bolt of lightning. She jumped; whether it was at his sudden appearance or the thunder, she didn’t know. “Did you get anything?”

She shook her head. “No!” she shouted in frustration. “I felt…something! And I had—I had a connection, but it wasn’t that strong.” She pushed a hand through her hair and then shook out her hands. “Let me try again.”

“What’s the point? It’s the seventh time and you just get the same result,” Isaac said.

Melanie’s nostrils flared. That very well may be the case but at least she was trying. That was a lot more than she could say for some other people. People she once thought that she could rely on. “Well, what about a scent? Can you catch one?”

“I’ve tried. It’s faint. And it doesn’t last too long.” Isaac’s hand on her shoulder tightened. “You know that.”

She rolled her shoulder, successfully shrugging his hand off her. “Well, it’s better than nothing! There has to be another direction we haven’t tried.”

“We’ve searched all over this place. I’m not sure there’s another direction to go but up. And you’re the only one who can fly, so…” He crossed his arms and licked his lower lip. “We’re wasting time.”

She tensed. Shook her head. He was wrong. So wrong. “No, we’re not! This is where they went missing! It’s the only place we have to find them.”

“And we haven’t been able to find them! What makes today any different?”

“Can you please quit being so negative for once?”

“Can you quit being so freakishly optimistic?” Lightning flashed across the sky, momentarily cutting in between their staring contest. The two immediately looked upwards, shifting their focus up to the now darkened sky. A whisper of a breeze passed between them. A single droplet of rain fell from the sky and landed smack on Melanie’s face, beneath her eyelid. It dripped down the curve of her cheek, rolled along the angle of her jaw and barely dripped off her face when the sky opened up.

Within seconds the pouring rain matted down their hair and clothes, soaking through the fabric in no time. The steady pitter-patter of rainfall on the leaves beneath their feet surrounded them. Melanie brushed droplets of water that dripped off her nose but to no avail. The rain continued to fall in its heavy, steady pattern. Dampening more than just the forest floor.

Isaac turned his eyes to her, round with worry. “The scent—”

“I know,” Melanie all but hissed. He didn’t have to say it. She knew. She knew deep down in her bones what this meant, and it only made her heart squeeze in the frustratingly familiar way it did when their leads dried up. This was the seventh time. The seventh time and she was so sure this one would yield results. And yet here she stood with Isaac, once again, with nothing to show for it. Erica, where are you?

She sniffed, inhaling the pungent scent of wet earth. Her attempt to catch a scent was feeble she knew, especially comparing her siren abilities to Isaac’s werewolf ones, but still she had to try. And she could use that as a cover for the crushing waves of anguish slamming around inside her.

She sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, allowing her father’s motto to ring through her head: Chin up, fly high. She set her jaw. Right, that’s it then. She had to dust herself off and try again. For Erica and Boyd’s sake.

“We should get going.” She looked up at Isaac; his hair lay flat, matted against his forehead and droplets of rain hung off his long lashes. “If it masked their scent it can mask ours too,” he continued, “And I don’t know about you, but these woods are extra creepy right now.”

All at once it was like a cloud had lifted and she remembered exactly where she was and who she was with and who exactly was out there looking for people like them. Creatures like them.

The Alpha Pack.

Her shoulders slumped, taking her stomach down with it. “Yeah. Okay.” She cast one more glance around the woods, like she did six times before, and nodded at him. “…Let’s go.”

The rain pelted them as they ran through the preserve, back to the parking lot where her truck waited. The doors opened with an elongated creak and they nearly collided heads when they dove in on either side.

“Well—” Isaac said.

“If you finish that sentence with ‘that went well’, I’m…I’m gonna…” Emitting a long sigh, she slumped in the driver’s seat, crossing her arms. Her mouth scrunched up followed by a wrinkle of her nose. Isaac’s incredulous gaze burned the side of her face. She refused to look at him.

“…You’re gonna pout at me?”

She cracked a smile. Damn him. Always finding a way to make her laugh when she wanted to stew in their defeat a little while longer. “Don’t make fun. It’s very effective.”

“On getting you extra dessert?”

“Scoff now but you don’t know the sweet satisfaction of having two pieces of chocolate cake instead of one.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it. The only satisfaction I got was a night where my dad forgot I existed for an hour.”

Her smile disappeared. She wasn’t sure which was worse: the ease at which he shared his comment, in such a blasé way, or that she knew without a doubt that he was telling the truth. Twisting her mouth to the side, she moved to say something only for her attention to be ripped away at the sound of thunder.

She leaned closer to the steering wheel, peering up at the sky through the windshield. Grimacing at a flash of lightning, she leaned back in her seat. Counting Mississippis in her head, her fingers drummed against the steering wheel.

“You don’t like storms.” Melanie whipped her head around, pulling an apologetic face when droplets of rain hit Isaac in the face. He didn’t flinch, merely stared at her. She felt it all the way down in her toes. Her heart thrummed beneath his gaze and she cleared her throat.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “But I like Erica and Boyd.” She tucked some hair behind her ear. “What happens if we don’t find them when schools starts?”

“We get Scott to help?”

She sneered. “Because he’s doing such a good job helping now.”

“Well, it’s better than this isn’t it? We can only turn over the same rock so many times.”

She pressed her lips together. He had a point. He always did; he was the reality to her fantasy. Maybe sometimes she woke up too many times thinking today’s the day! and that they would find Erica and Boyd only to retrace the same steps, tread the same ground. But at least she woke up with hope. She still had that.

The heavy rain eased to a gentle tapping on her truck’s roof. The dark clouds smeared to a bright gray before beams of sunlight peppered through. The ensuing heat became trapped within the front cabin of her truck. The light ring of rainwater around her shirt collar warmed, leaving a muggy, sticky swatch on her skin. “Either way, we need to report back to Derek,” Melanie finally said.

Turning, she slid open the sliding window and heaved herself through it, kicking her legs and wiggling until she managed through all the way. Kneeling, she grabbed a back nearby and pulled it towards herself.

“What’s that?” Isaac asked, looking in through the window.

“We’ve spent so many nights running around town, I figured at some point some backup clothes would come in handy,” she explained, pulling some items out. She glanced at the size on a tag of a shirt and held it out to him. “Here, change your shirt before you catch a cold.”

Isaac snorted. “I don’t get sick anymore, remember?”

“Humor me.”

Slowly, as if being pulled by an invisible string, a half-smile, a bit lopsided, formed on his face, curling upwards into a smirk at the corner. The look in his eyes, a burning focus, stilled her. Head cocked to the side, he asked, “Are you trying to check me out?” The smile never wavered.

The heat trapped around her collar burned, and she tugged at her collar. And then she felt like an idiot for doing something so cliché over a dumb comment. It was Isaac after all. He’d recently taken to joking around with her, keeping her spirits up and working to put a smile back on her face. It’s what he did. And this was the same. Just a joke.  Now if only her reddening cheeks would catch up on the memo. He really needed to stop smiling at her like that.

“Well…see, you’re talking like there’s something for me to look at,” she managed to reply. Sticking out her tongue at his expression—half surprise, half amusement—she shoved the shirt through the open window.

Gathering up her hair in her hands, she twisted and squeezed the ends until water cascaded off, creating a small puddle. She wiped the excess water off onto her damp shorts and rummaged through the bag. She pulled a suitable shirt from the bag, looking over the graphic design on the front, and laid it on her lap.

Paused. Her head titled, eyes squinted, at the dome light coming on overhead. Leaning to the side, she glanced out the window…and stiffened. And watched as Isaac, sitting with his back towards the driver’s door, reached behind his head and pulled on the collar of his soaked shirt.

Her breath eased out all at once as her eyes trailed over the expanse of his back, starting at the base where symmetrical dimples popped on either side of his spine, ping-ponging from the sparse moles that dotted his skin, taking time to watch his muscles stretch and contract. The usual rounding of his shoulders, the hunch that brought them up to his ears was replaced by a lowered, sure, strong hold.

“I can feel you looking at me.”

With a jerk, Melanie blinked and let out a little sputter, dropping her eyes back down to her lap. “I’m not…I wasn’t looking at you,” she insisted, cheeks burning. And, with a feverish haste, she grabbed the hem of her shirt and shed it off to yank the clean and dry one on in a few seconds flat. Quickly peeking to ensure he was dressed this time, she crawled back through the window and scooted closer to the driver door as Isaac got back in. “I wasn’t looking at you,” she repeated, “I was trying to look out the window but you were in my way.

He hummed, a sparkle in his eye. “Sure.”

“You’re a giant, that’s hardly my fault. Why?” She paused in putting on her seatbelt, making herself look him in the eye. “Did you want me to look?”

“Maybe.”

A strange, choke-like noise sounded in her throat. Her eye twitched in the corner and her lips formed into a line. his blunt manner was really going to be the death of her some day. All she could utter was a feeble “shut up, Isaac” before snapping her seatbelt in, turning on the truck, and peeling out of the parking lot.

And as long as she didn’t pay attention to the fact that now the cabin of her truck felt two times smaller than usual, and that Isaac sat up straighter in the passenger seat rather than sitting curled inwards like usual, they’d get there one piece.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Wan High Weeping (Part 42)

It was both thrilling and startling to hold the ball in her hands again. Exhilarating and pleasantly daunting, a challenge of sorts. Azula had forgotten how much she enjoyed a challenge. She supposed that getting things back in order was a challenge in and of itself, she had never backed away from a challenge so she would take both of them on. If things went her way she’d have two successes born from one action.

She tossed the ball from one hand to the other, waiting for the rest of her team to assemble in the gym. It would seem that she had even beaten her coach. She was beginning to see why the team was as unskilled as they claimed, they couldn’t even make it to practice on time. For a brief moment, she considered that she had come to the wrong place, she was, afterall, in a new school--she could see the possibility of Xi River having a second gymnasium. But it couldn’t be so, Azula had made sure that she had all of the directions and details clear.

She was in the right place.

They were late.

She took the time to readjust her kneepads and elbow pads to her liking. She had gone out and bought them the other day so she would have something to match her new uniform; of course, she had yet to receive the uniform itself.

The squeak of sneakers on polished maple wood let her know that the rest of her team, or at least a few of them had finally made it. Zirin and Chinami come to join her. Soon Ryoko was there as well.

“Hey, Azula.” Chinami greeted.

“So have you changed your mind yet?” Ryoko asked.

“In the hour between sixth period and now?” Azula asked. “No.”

“You’re still on about that, Ryo?” Zirin asked.

“Of course we are.” Ikue replied. “I think that we need a splash of bright red in this group. Or maybe electric blue.”

“Pink?” Ryoko put in.

Azula rolled her eyes. “Why don’t we just dye my hair all three? Hell, let’s throw in purple.”

Ryoko’s eyes lit up. “That’s a great idea!”

Apparently, Ikue was feeling extra ambitious, “we can add some green too.”

“I don’t think she’s gonna let cha touch her hair.” Shoko put in.

“I like my hair the way it is.” Azula muttered as their coach stepped into the gym. She was a tall and chiseled woman with chalky brown hair and deep brown eyes. Having only heard it one, Azula tried to recall her name. Ruka, she believed. Truth be told, she had put more focus into discussion matters of her joining the team than investing it in remembering names. It was a pain enough to confess that after this week she’d have therapy sessions every Tuesday and Thursday. Missing two days of five was an agitating prospect. She supposed it would be for the best that way as her body recovered and adjusted to the spike in activity again. Still, she was going to have to get used to playing for leisure rather than competition.

Ruka looked to Azula first, “your uniform should be in by the end of the week.”

Azula nodded.

With that out of the way, Ruka addressed the entirety of the team. “Alright, ladies, we’ll start with a warm up--laps around the gym for five minutes and then a couple of stretches--after that you’ll get into pairs and practice our spikes and sets.” She paused. “From there we will have a mock game. I expect the five of you to leave our new member with a good impression.” She gave Zirin a pointed stare. She spoke to Azula more quietly. “If you need a break, let me know. I don’t want to overwork you so soon after your hospital visit.”

The woman meant well, but Azula found herself rather vexed by the coddling. “I’ll be fine.”

Ruka nodded. “I don’t doubt that. I’ve seen you play when we versed Wan High last year.”

And now there were expectations.

Ruka punched a few buttons on her stopwatch. “Five minutes begins now.”

The first minute or so went over rather well, she had a few laps on the rest of her team--which was nothing out of the ordinary for her--but she was growing winded quickly. She held her pace well into the second minute, but doing so was taking its toll. This should have been easy for her. The last time she had done something like this, she could hold her pace for a good ten minutes before becoming only slightly short of breath.

It would seem that she would have to start slower. Yet she didn’t know how much slower, she found herself completely unaware of her own limits.

How had she become so out of tune with herself?

Resentfully, she slowed her own pace. And then slowed it more still, feeling almost dizzy. She had taken herself from first to the last to finish.

“You don’t have to run so fast, during the warm up.” Shoko noted.

Shoko didn’t realize that what Azula was doing had been her version of a warm up at one point.

“Besides, we’re not the track team.” Zirin laughed.

It took a very meticulous effort to remind herself that it was an innocent remark. That Zirin wasn’t trying to provoke her. It set in that, perhaps, physical activity wasn’t the only thing she’d have to get reacquainted with. The concept of light-hearted jokes seemed so foreign.

Azula worked through the stretches trying not to think about how strenuous they were juxtaposed against the ease at which they use to come. She tried with even more effort to ignore the way her tummy looked when she bent over. She hoped with just as much vigor that the rest of the team ignored it too. She wondered if this was a good idea after all. She was better off getting back in the swing of things in privet.

She couldn’t help but compare herself to Zirin who was as toned as she used to be. Or to Ikue who was ridiculously tall and every bit as slender. Their stomach didn’t stick out the way hers did. She found it hard all over again, to imagine why they wanted her on the team. She was certainly going to mar their aesthetic.

They worked through a final stretch, one that seemed to drag, and then they broke into pairs. Ikue and Ryoko had ran straight for each other, Azula had no doubts that they would. The remaining three looked amid each other.

“Who wants to work with Azula?” Zirin asked.

“I will!” Chinami volunteered.

How generous, Azula thought to herself. She supposed that someone had to take one for the team.

“I wanted to work with her.” Shoko mumbled.

“See, I was just asking, to be nice.” Zirin noted. She hooked her arm around Azula’s.

“Oh wow. Okay, Zirin.” Shoko grumbled.

Zirin gave a bursting laugh and then turned to Azula. “I like practicing on that side of the gym.” She lead her to a spot near the right corner. “I’ve been practicing in this exact spot for three years now!”

“Congratulations?” Azula muttered.

“Do you want me to grab the ball?” She looked to the ball cage.

“I have one.” Azula moved to her duffle bag where she had tucked her ball away. She took it out once again. She took a moment to appreciate the metallic blue material. It was a custom make and she thought that it was a shame that she hadn’t got to use it until now.

“Ooo, fancy.” Zirin snatched it from her hands. She sputtered an apology and handed it back. “Sorry, coach told me I need to remember to ask first. Can I see your volleyball.”

She was going to be hitting it around anyways so Azula handed it over.

“Ikue! Ryoko! Less talking, more spiking!” Ruka barked.

“Oh, shit!” Zirin hissed, quickly spiking it over to Azula. Her reflexes were as sharp as they ever were, but her body couldn’t keep up with them. She managed to return the hit with a bump but managed to pull something in her leg in the process. She winced but powered through it, returning a second spike.

Declaring that everyone should get a feel for working with Azula, Ruka had them go through a full rotation before proceeding with the mock game. By the end of it she was already feeling sore and sluggish.

Zirin tossed her a water bottle.  “Don’t push yourself so hard.” She said softly. “We want you to have fun here.”

Azula took a rather greedy sip from the water bottle. “I’m not pushing myself.”

“And our team is going to state this year.” Zirin rolled her eyes. “Seriously, take it easy, I’d feel awful if you got hurt again.”

“I’m not going to hold the team back.” Azula refuted.

“Well of course not.” And with more volume she added, “It’s Ryo’s job to hold the team back!” Her lopsided grin was stolen by a ball thumping her on the head. “Ow!”

“Holding the team back is a team effort.” Ryoko insisted.

“Well you’re the MVP!” Zirin insisted.

“And you’re the runner up.”

“See,” Zirin put a hand at the corner of her mouth and muttered into Azula’s ear, “you’re going to have a lot of competition as far as holding us back goes.”  

As comforting as the prospect was, Azula almost felt bad. She wondered what dipped their confidence so low. At least they were good humored about it, unlike her.

.oOo.

Zuko turned the chip over in his hand, admiring the glinting blue. He was feeling better than he had in a long time. And better still, knowing that he’d be getting a second chip--red, like one of the ones Hahn showed him--very soon. As soon as he had the month milestone chip in his hands, they would switch him to outpatient. It was a possibility that both rattled him and thrilled him in equal part. He would be free. But also free to find his way back to heroine.

“You ready for some exciting and wholesome group therapy?” Hahn asked.

“I’m bursting with joy.” Zuko grumbled.

“You better be, because we have to walk all the way to the other end of the building this time around.”

“You mean the psych ward?” Zuko asked. “Why that way?” Perhaps he had no room to talk being as he considered himself to be a bit of a basket case but the thought of passing through the section of the facility that housed the more sever of the disorders chilled him. He felt like an asshole for thinking it too.

“Pipe broke in our regular room.” Hahn informed. “Bit of flooding going on. Ya know, the usual mishaps. A change of scenery might be nice, ya know?”

He guessed that he wouldn’t mind a little kink in the routine. He still wasn’t particularly looking forward to this session. From the sound of it, today they were going to be discussing what had led the to drugs or alcohol in the first place. Zuko’s desire to talk about Ozai was about as real as a flying bison.

Hahn led him down a series of hallways. Even after being in the institution for a little over a month, he still couldn’t get use to the staff personnel who consistently monitored the halls. Their watchful eyes kept him in line.

They came to the second floor lobby where many halls conjoined and went their separate ways. This was where the elevator was, they’d be taking it a floor up to where most therapy sessions were held. For the elevators, this area had the most traffic, he scanned the crowd for any familiar faces from his last group session. He picked out a boy named Rin and a girl named Emi. He didn’t know them well enough to approach them. He didn’t know anyone there enough to make a greeting.  

He caught sight of someone walking his way.

He couldn’t imagine why, so he assumed she was simply walking in his general direction.

“Still a little disorienting, huh?” Hahn asked.

“A little.” Zuko admitted, he had always been an introvert but these days he seemed to be sinking further into it. He only really talked to Hahn anymore.

“You’re not dead, after all.”

He jumped.

“And you’re as easy to scare as ever.” Though it was some hoarser than her remembered, he recognized that silky voice. He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t recognized her face. But then, it had been so long since he’d seen it.

“What are you doing here?” Zuko sputtered.

“I have therapy too, dum-dum.” She settled a hand on her hip. “Mother sends her regards.”

“Y-you’ve talked to mom? What are you in therapy for.” He didn’t know which he was more curious about. He was going to be late. It didn’t matter, the group could wait. So long as Hahn stuck around, he wouldn’t get in too much trouble.

“It’s a long story, Zu-Zu. After you made your depart, CPS got involved, I’m living with her now.”

He knew it was a lie. He was of age, what he did was no concern of the CPS. He knew that she and their father weren’t exactly on good terms. But, then, he didn’t really expect her to disclose anything about that situation. He had a good feeling that her new living situation and whatever was going on with she and Ozai went hand in hand with the reason for her therapy.

“Are you going to be living with her or staying with Iroh when you get cleared?”

“I. I was going to live with Iroh...but…” He paused. “I can see mom again?”

“That’s what I said.” Azula rolled her eyes.

She sounded more like herself than she did before he ran away.

“She’s worried about you.”

“Were you?” He asked. She had to have been, otherwise she wouldn’t have called Iroh.

“Absolutely not.” She frowned. He didn’t believe that either.

He was worried about her. He didn’t realize it until then, but he was so worried for her with the state he had last seen her in. Quiet and quite visibly unsure of herself. Despite her posture and her high held head, he could see it in her eyes that something was wrong. They were missing their usual spark and he was almost certain that she still wasn’t comfortable with herself. Not entirely.

“Enjoy rehab, Zu-Zu.”

He watched her head for the elevator.

“Oh!” He called.

He didn’t think that she heard him, but she came to a stop and peered over her shoulder.

“Thank you. For calling uncle.”

She waved it off.

“Really, I think that you might have saved my life.”

“Good to know.”  The elevator doors opened.

“We going inside too?” Hahn asked.

“We’ll wait for the next one.” He didn’t want to draw out some sort of awkward silence.

“Really, I think that you might have saved my life.” Hahn mocked as the entered the second elevator. “I didn’t realize you were so sappy.”

“Shut up, Hahn.” Zuko jabbed him.

Hahn pulled the door open and motioned him inside. It looked like he was the youngest of the group again. “You’re late.” The session leader noted.

“He ran into his sister.” Hahn vouched. “It’s been a while since they’ve seen each other.”

The man sighed, “let’s get into it then. Ki, would you like to start us off?”

Zuko tried not to nod off as listened to various addiction origin stories. Ones that ranged from crippling depression to  a friend hooking them up back in high school and still not being able to climb out of it. One story in particular stood out to him, “having children took its toll.” The woman spoke. “I had the first one, thought I could handle a second…” She trailed off. “Drugs took the edge off of the crying and fussing. I wanted to be a good mom, I really did. But I’ve failed as a parent.��

“You couldn’t have failed worse than my father.” Zuko didn’t mean to cut her off, he hadn’t even realized that he’d spoken out loud.  

“I take it you’d like to share share next?” The therapist commented.

“Not particularly.”

“Well you interrupted Mrs. Wansabi’s story so I assumed that you had something to say.”

“It’s fine, I was done talking.” Mrs. Wansabi smiled.

“No matter, we still need another person to share and we didn’t here from Mr. Kasai last time.”

Zuko gritted his teeth. This therapist was agitating, he was going to have to talk to someone about seeing someone else, before this man made him snap. “You want my story?! Fine! I have an abusive sorry ass excuse for a father. He beat me regularly and heroine took the pain away. It’s not that special.” He turned to Mrs. Wansabi. “At least you’re here and trying. That’s more than my father can say. You feel bad and you haven’t even hurt your kids yet. My father...I think he enjoys hurting me.” He couldn’t help but think of Azula too and that more somber look in her eyes. “Hurting us.”

“So you ran away.” Hahn finished for him.

“It was the best thing I could have done for myself.”

“You’re lucky that you ended up here and not in a drug ring.” The therapist put in, unhelpfully. “That kind of impulsive…”

Zuko cut him off. “I could have ended up here, like I did. Or I could have ended up dead. Which still would have been better than living with him.”

The room fell quiet.

He hoped that he hadn’t landed himself an extended stay.

.oOo.

Yue beckoned Azula to sit. “Water?” With a nod from Azula, she filled up a small glass. “How has school been treating you?”

But Azula wanted to start with something different. “I ran into my brother today.”

“On the way here?”

“Ursa--my mother told me he was in the rehab sector here.”

Yue took a sip for herself. “Was this encounter a good thing?”

Azula shrugged. “It was an encounter.” She paused. “He told me that I saved him.”

“Did you?” Yue asked.

She shrugged again. “Maybe in a manner of speaking. I just called uncle for him.” Yue continued to stare so she added, “he ran away.”

“Your father?”

“I know. It’s hard to believe that anyone would run away from such a compassionate man.”

Yue chuckled. At least someone shared her sense of humor, that joke hadn’t gone so well with her mother who used it as an opportunity for more hugging and tears. The kind of affection that still made Azula squeamish.

“It was probably nice to hear. That you were able to help your brother.”

Azula considered. “It’s a start.” It had made her feel like, perhaps, she wasn’t as dreadful of a person as she initially assumed.

“A start?”

“He left on bad terms.” She wasn’t entirely certain of this. “Rather, we had some unfinished matters.”

Yue nodded. “Do you want to talk about those?”

“Perhaps another time.” It was a subject so layered, that it may have take many sessions to cover. Truth be told, this time, she wanted to talk about her other problems. It was easier to talk to someone she didn’t know very well. Someone who she wouldn’t have to see every day.

“Would you like to tell me how you’re adjusting to school?” Yue asked. “Have you found any new friends.”

“A few.” Azula replied. “My new volleyball team and Nagako--she quit the team.”

Yue smiled. “I’m happy to hear that you decided to join after all!” The woman sound very genuinely thrilled. It instilled some sort of pride within Azula. “Did you have practice already?”

“The first one was yesterday.”

“How did it go?”

At this Azula’s face fell.

Yue’s own expression darkened. “What happened?”

Azula tightened her grip on the glass. “I couldn’t…” She paused. “I knew that I wasn’t going to be as good as before, I’ve been out of practice for so long…” She trailed off. “I didn’t think I would perform that poorly.”

“Did someone say that you weren’t doing good?”

“Yes.” Azula mumbled. “I did.”

“I’m sure you performed better than you think.”

“You were not there.” Azula held her ground. “You wouldn’t say that if you had been.”

“Azula, you’ve put a lot of strain on your body in starving it. This has nothing to do with your skill set. You made it sound like you were a natural. So let things happen naturally. Treat it right and your body will recover and you will most likely find that you haven’t set yourself as far back as you think.”

It sounded so good aloud. But Azula wasn’t sure if she believed that. Even so it didn’t alleviate the sting she was feeling in that moment. Nor would it lift the burden that came with noticing just how much her figure had changed. Before joining the team, she hadn’t considered how much the stretches would annunciate that. “You don’t understand.”

“I would like to. What were you thinking about?”

She didn’t want to say it out loud. It was embarrassing enough in her own headspace. Yet she wanted to say something. She kept quiet.

“Would you like to come back to this subject later?”

Azula almost took her up on her offer. She held her silence until she found a less degrading way to say what was bothering her. “I almost did it again...”

“Did what?

She set her cup aside and brought her fingers to her mouth.

“What stopped you?”

“I don’t like losing.” She replied. “Not to anyone else. Not to myself.”

“What made you want to throw up?”

Another uncomfortable question. She had dug herself into it. “I don’t look the same.” She gripped the edge of her chair. “I got to see myself from many new angles yesterday...”  She would let Yue fill in the blanks. “I don’t look like the rest of the team.” Save for Shoko, but somehow she always managed to gloss over that.

Yue nodded seeming to think things over. “You’re going to have to stop comparing yourself to other people. You are you. They are them.”

“I don’t look how I used to.” She was being difficult, but not cunningly so.

“That’s fair.” Yue muttered, leaving Azula quietly flabbergasted that she would agree. “You’re going to have to be patient. I promise you, that you will get there again. Remember when I told you that you are a pretty girl?”

“Yes. So?”

“I’d like to say it again. There isn’t one single way to define beauty. How can there be when there are so many different body types out there?”

Azula swallowed.

“If I may be up front?”

Azula waved her on.

“I think you are putting way too much focus on yourself. Your team, they aren’t paying as much attention to you as you think.”

“Are you sure? We’ve only had one practice together and Zirin already has a habit of reminding me not to push myself.”

“They aren’t paying attention to you for the reason you think. You are putting a lot of focus on your weight. Your friend seems to be focusing on making sure you don’t hurt yourself. She isn’t thinking about your weight, she is thinking about your well being.”

Azula considered.

“I’d like you to try something else for me.” Yue spoke again. “I don’t usually say this, but, try to think of how others see you instead of how you see yourself. From the sound of it, they are happy to have you on their team. Do you really think that your weight matters?”

She wanted to say yes, but Yue had left her ample time to think and she was struggling to find one concrete example to back that.

“There are more profound aspects of yourself. I’ve seen you only two times now and I can tell that you are strong, determined, and persistent. If you really want to think about the physical, you have beautiful eyes and nice hair.” She paused. “If you want to make this process easier for yourself, you’re going to have to break the habit of valuing yourself based on a number. One that isn’t even that high, all things considered.”

Azula chewed the inside of her cheek, determined not to shed even one tear. Yet, that was exactly what she had needed to hear. A solid confirmation that she may have been exaggerating what she saw in the mirror. “I’ll, try.”

Yue smiled. “Speaking of trying, have you been sticking to the meal plan?”

“I have.”

“You’re doing yourself a very big favor.” Yue said. “It’s refreshing to have a patient willing to cooperate.”

“I want things to go back to how they were.  Your plan is the only one I have right now.” And besides, she had already stated that she would go through with it. Surrender wasn’t a flattering action.

“They will. Sooner than you think.”

Sooner still seemed so painfully long. At least now she was actually doing something. At least being on the team was a way to feel her progress as it happened. And yet, progress seemed so hard to acquire.

“It isn’t going to happen over night.”  Yue noted.

But it would happen. Azula decided so.

Her mind was made up.

And when it was, it couldn’t be wavered.

[monstersandmaw]

Crab Monster

Gorgeous post submitted by @monster-love-storiess! Thank you for this - I hope you folks enjoy it too! Unchanged by me, except for adding a ‘keep reading’...

_____________________________________

Hey I was the anon that asked about the crab monster and I then decided to write him a little blurb! Hope you enjoy!

Never in my entire life did I think I would ever run for my life from anything. Never did I think I would feel that intense, horrifying survival instinct kick in and send my adrenaline kicking and screaming into gear. I had seen run for their lives in TV shows and in movies and maybe during a rigorous game of dodge ball in middle school, but never like this. This was the worst feeling anyone could feel. The crippling fear, the hot fire anxiety and the scorching ache in my muscles as I pushed them farther than they have ever been pushed before.

My hushed frantic panting echoed off the damp sea cave walls as I zig zag my way around dried coral and larger than usual shells. My bare feet were badly scraped, and my beach dresses was tattered and salty. But at the moment, I could barely focus on that. I could barley focus on anything aside from putting as much distance between that monster and myself.

The events leading up to me running for my life were a little unusual and my mind reeled at the turn of events that had thrown me to where I am now. Me graduating with flying colors from Marine Biology and then receiving a grant to work on a boat alongside other gradated biologists. It started off great, a little sunburned but great as we travelled around the Caribbean. Part of it was working and taking and examining water samples and finding wildlife, but it was also a vacation of sorts as well.

 We had a captain and a first mate who were not biologist but were just in charge the boat. They were tanned and gruff, both with dark gray birds and yellow teeth.  I had never given them much thought except when I introduced myself when I got on the boat, to which they brushed me off and continue untying ropes from the dock before we set sail.

Come to think of it, the only time I had really heard them speak was when they were screaming curse words into the wind as that huge tidal wave overtook the ship.

I had shut my eyes at that moment, the water spraying everywhere and there was too much salt in my eyes to even see the wave coming, but I braced myself against the closest sturdy thing I could find, which was unfortunately the side railing. Needless to say, my grip was forced off and I was swept up into a seemingly never ending current of dense black water.

When I felt my body finally stop moving, I slowly began the process of opening my eyes. Almost admittedly, I shut them again as blazing sunlight made my vision go white. I wiggled my fingers, toes, arms and legs and found that nothing was broken, but just very soar. My lung burned and my head pounded.

I sat up, now realizing that I had been pressed into the sand of a beach, the tide that had probably dropped me off now receding past my feet and farther back. Looking around I found that I was on some kind of island with a few trees and the biggest rock formations I had ever seen. They rose up higher than any building and I could already see the network of a few caves. I glanced over my shoulder to see if I could see any  signs of life.

There were none. My heart grew heavy and blood ran cold.

I think at that point I had started crying and I curled up into a ball right there on the beach, the water still lapping at my toes and my dress dripping with salt.

It was then The blaring sun was suddenly blocked out but a  large figure looming over me.

I never actually got a good look at it, I only slowly glanced up in time to see those dangerously large crab-like pinchers and the immense size of the creature itself. The pinchers opened slowly as I stared and I realized with dread that the length of the entire pinch was longer than I was.

That leads me to now with my running for my life into one of the various caves on the island.

I don’t know how long I had been running for but I knew it hadn’t been for long enough when I tripped on an exposed barnacle and I was sent face first into the sandy floor. I tried scrambling up to make up for tripping, my fingers digging into the sand around me, trying to find my foot once more.

“Wait! Please…”

I froze, my eyes going wide at the voice.

“I won’t hurt you, please, I want to help.”

I turned and saw the creature slowly approach, claws up in the air. I yelped and scooted back as far as I could, my back against the damp cave walls, my arms hugging my knees u close to my chest.

As I sat deathly still, I could now see the creature in all its glory.

From first glance, it looked like a crab and human hybrid. The crab part of its body was huge, almost the size of a car, not including the legs. The legs themselves were long and bent upward and strong and spiked. However, hat made my heard spin was where the two little eyes were supposed to be at the top front of the base of the body, a strong human torso was instead. However, instead of a set of regular human arms, it had a lower set of what looked like longer skinnier arms that looked like its legs with more of a bent and smaller spikes and another set of on top, these ones being the huge pinchers I had seen on the beach prior to me running for my life. One claw was a little bit bigger than they other but needless to say they both looked strong and deadly.

The crab part of his body was an off-maroon color and the human part was a dark tanned with the maroon mixed in. On closer inspection, I could only assume it was a male from the strongly featured face, heavy brow line and strapping physique. His hair was a dirty blond and it was tied into a half up into a bun with a piece of rope while the rest hung around his shoulder in tousled beachy waves.

If I wasn’t terrified out of my mind, I would have found him handsome.

It then began to dawn on me that he hadn’t tried to hurt me yet, or even come close to my huddled form. His claws, which sent my heart sputtering out of control, were still held up and it took me second it was like a human being holding there hands up to show that they meant to harm.

I slowly let got of my legs and his lips twitched upward into a friendly and hopeful smile.

“How are you doing? I was worried about you. I had been watching over you on that beach for a little while and you didn’t move.”

He had a sort of Australian accent which I found to be completely adorable, despite his monstrous appearance.

I nodded slowly, and then opened my mouth to speak and found my throat to be dangerously dry. I coughed and winced and the feeling and sound it made, and his eyes got wide before he looked around and retrieved a shell from the ground. This one was a little bit bigger than my hand. He held it up to the wall next to him and I watched as he filled it with water from the down ward trickling stream.

“This is rain water that leaks down through the rocks. It is fresh, don’t worry.” He explained before delicately holding the shell down to me, his pinchers holding it gently. I slowly stood up and my eyes got wide as I realized how much he towered over me even with me standing.

I reached out, my hand brushing against the pinchers briefly and I marveled at how hard and smooth it was. I took the shell in both hands before lifting it up to my lips and taking a large sip, relishing in the feeling of fresh water running down my throat.

“Thank you.” I breathed softly and he beamed, shifting his crab legs around in the sand in mild excitement.

“How did you get here? I have never seen human boats come even close to this island before.”

I swallowed a bit more water before answering.

“I was on a boat, but we got caught by a storm and I got swept off into sea.” I bit my lip at the memory, my eyes beginning to water again and his face fell. He approached me slowly, the smaller of his pinchers cautiously reaching for my face. I sucked in a breath as he gently slid the curve of his pincher down my face, capturing a single tear that had escaped from my eye.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. You’re safe and I won’t let anything happen to you. I have plenty of wood here for a fire signal and I can find you food to eat. Hopefully you don’t like crab legs.” I giggled through my tears at his joke and he smiled.

“Do you have a name, love?” He asked and I told him, sniffling my tears away as I stared up into his warm dark brown eyes.

“Nice to meet you, my name is Blaise.”

It was funny to me that his presence went from horrifying to comforting in a little bit of time. Even more so as he scooped me up so I was no perched in the crook of his massive arm, my legs sandwiched between his bicep and his larger pincher as sat on his shoulder and my hands gripping his broad shoulders tightly for balance. I felt and probably looked tiny compared to him.

“Let’s not waste any more time and light that fire signal and get you sent on your merry way.” He boomed and I laughed as he turned and made his way out of the cave, his movement surprising quick and graceful, even if he did walk sideways a little. I did pick up on a saddened tone in his voice though and I found myself sad that the signaling of other boats would happen so quickly.

I mean I was technically on a vacation of sorts, so why not spend a little bit of it on a tropical island with a gentle crab monster.

___________________________________

Original crab monster post/headcanon ask is here if anyone’s curious about the ask that prompted them to write this and send it in!  

[chimpanzeemusic]

I’ve been picking up some financial slack between jobs and travels by working as a substitute teacher. The pay is bad, The flexibility is nice, the absurd conversations are worth remembering.

2nd Grade 7 year-old: So, how old are you? Me: Eighty two. 7 year-old: Oh. An hour later, another teacher enters the room to get something and I recognize her from when I used to swim at a neighborhood pool, and we chat Me to teacher: Yeah, I think I was a teenager when your kids began swimming there. 7 year-old is watching nearby, eyes narrowed. After the other teacher leaves, he moves to confront me. 7 year-old: You were talking to the teacher, and she’s, like, thirty-nine. If you’re just a little older than her kids… then you’re not eighty-two! Me: My disguise has been discovered! **runs from the room**

Katrina, 2 min sketch

High School Typically the easiest job. The benefit is  people don’t really care about your existence, so they mostly do their own thing. The drawback is people don’t really care about your existence, and mostly do their own thing, regardless of what you do.

The high school medical anatomy class finishes a quiz. Student: Can you put on some surgeries for us to watch while we’re working? Me: Your teacher shows you these in class. Student: Yeah, totally. Me: I have no way of verifying the truthfulness of this claim. Imma go with no. Student, sighing with disappointment: Ohhhkay. It’s probably for the best, though. People sometimes pass out when they watch nose surgeries, they put a chisel up the nose and pound with a hammer… that tends to get ’em. The next class comes in. Me: Does Mr. C show y’all surgeries? Class: Yes. Me: Oohkay then.

I asked another class about Mr C, who apparently shows all kinds of amputations, ACL surgeries, removal of a hairball from the stomach of a woman addicting to eating her own Herbal Essence-infused follicles, the extrication of a fist-sized kidney stone from a bladder…

Student 1: Sometimes I can’t watch. Student 2: We’ll be dissecting something in class and he’ll cut off a piece, like he did with this cow lung one time, and He flung it at the whiteboard and yelled “Look, it sticks!” and then just left the slice there all class period. We get blood on the whiteboard a lot.

“He flung it at the whiteboard and yelled ‘Look, it sticks!’ and then just left the slice of cow lung there all class period. We get blood on the whiteboard a lot.’

#justsurgerythings

That part about sticking a chisel up someone’s nose and whacking it with a hammer? Apparently it’s accepted rhinoplasty technique. Which, disappointingly, does not involve a live rhinoceros.

  Middle School A middle school dance class is practicing for a multicultural dance assembly when someone nabs the audio jack and blasts Justin Bieber’s “Baby.” Me: There is no way this song is still relevant. Middle schoolers sing word-for-word to the song. Me: It cannot be. The Ludacris rap section begins, even bystanders get down. Ludacris and Tweens: “When I was thirteeeen, I had my first luuuv!” There was nobody that compared to my baaaaby— And nobody came between us, no one could ever come aboooove…!” Me: noooo

Elementary If you’ve slept sufficiently, elementary and especially kindergarten are enjoyable: busy,  hilarious. Also, cruel.

Me: Hello class! My name is Mr… I lose my train of thought and hesitate a split-minute too long. Kindergartner: Potato! Kindergartners, losing it completely: Hahahaha! Mr. Potato! Me: What? No, it’s— Kindergartners: Potato! Potato! Mr. Potato! After weakly struggling to restore order, I retreat to the teacher’s desk and sulk quietly. Me: My name is not Mr. Potato.

#organic

Kindergartner: Your shirt has lots of birds on it. Me: That is because I am secretly lots of birds taped together. Kindergartner: …

A student teacher is leading the kindergartners in reading three-letter words aloud. I am reading with them, but have not yet been introduced. I am sitting next to Señorita Sassypants, a bright, outspoken and conniving child. Class: B-at. J-am. C-at. H-am. Me: Bat. Jam. Cat. Ham. Señorita Sassypants: Wait, how do you already know all this stuff? You don’t go here. You’re not a student!” Inclusive Child, (same height as my waist):  Wait, wait, you go here! You can be a student, too!

Kinder 1: Why you wearing fancy shoes? Me: These here are my dancing shoes. Kinder 1: Why you wearing dancing shoes? Me: So I can dance away the blues. Kinder 1: …Huh? Kinder 2: You’re Team Rocket!?

Hairy Otter and the Rage of Elsa, Conte on Paper

Six-year old: When you learned to walk, you were one year old. Five-year old: Actually, I was five!

Who gets to draw the Purple Froople?

Visiting Music Teacher to kids: Who gets to draw the Purple Froople?

Fergalicious, an ideal name for your weasel

Child: I want to draw the Chocolate Womple! Visiting Music Teacher: Nina, your Stroiper looks amazing. Me to me: The heck is going on in hereMy brother also subbed kindergarten for a bit. Here’s two experiences of his: Brother: Okay guys, I am going to tell you about a scary story about a time I had a run-in from a bear. Before he even begins the story, several students crawl beneath their seats. Brother: Where–what are you are you doing? Students: We’re scared, teacher! Brother: Look, you can’t be under there. Everyone get back up. They do. He tells a story where various noises and surprises happen and the students think it is a bear, but it ends up being a stick, or a squirrel, until… …Well, the next thing that happened was as I laid in my hammock was the bear came up and pushed my hammock a little. And then I screamed, and looked out of my hammock, and it ran away into the woods! I had to change my pants after that. Student 1: Wait, why did you have to— Student 2: IT’S ‘CAUSE HE PEED HIMSELF! Students, shrieking with laughter at the implied urination, fall on the floor and roll around, at last fulfilling the ancient AOL messenger prophecy, “ROFLOL.”

Students shriek with laughter at the implied urination.

Brother is passing the school snack to students. It is pineapple, which many have not tried before. Brother: It’s pretty good, right? Students nod and continue eating the unfamiliar fruit. Brother:There’s lots, if anyone wants to eat more. Students return for seconds, then many for thirds. As the children eat, the pineapple begins to tenderize their mouths. One girl sticks out her tongue and begins to touch it, wincing. Frightened child: My—my tongue hurts! A number of things happen simultaneously. Several other students also conclude they are hurt, dying, even. Yet another student screams out as two students run for the door. Take Action Children: Hold on! We’ll go get the principal! Sprinting for help, they almost escape before Brother is able to catch up, contain the breach, and calm the frightened students by persuading them to drink water. The Great Pineapple Crisis has been averted.

Let us now return to dumb and mean things kids say.

Child playing doctor during playtime: **approaches fellow child on tiny couch, places stethoscope on Patient Child, listens, and begins to panic as a diagnosis is made** Doctor Child: She has the contagious!

Big Treble in Little City, Conte pencil on paper. Artist: Señorita Sass

I am demonstrating an intentionally bad magic trick for Señorita Sassypants. I put my face in profile and pretend to pull a pencil out of my nose. Señorita Sassypants: You didn’t pull that out of your nose. There’s no boogers on it.

“You didn’t pull that out of your nose. There’s no boogers on it.”

Me: Rats! You got me. But check this out. I select a white crayon and twiddle it in my hands and slip it into my lap when SS’s concentration wavers. I drop it to the floor and it rolls under the table, where I put my foot over it. Me: It’s gone. Bam. Magic crayon. SS searches my hands and sleeves, finding nothing. She begins to search the floor, frustration building. She peers beneath the edge of my shoe and spots the crayon, which she seizes triumphantly and holds aloft, sneering. Me: Uh, it must have teleported! SS, drawing close to my face: No, you hid it there. This crayon isn’t magic. You’re not magic. **snaps crayon in half, tossing the fragments of wax and vaudeville showbiz dreams to the floor**

JajsKe, Ballpoint on Paper

Time for dinner: Platinum Edition

Inclusive Child: Do you know Cat? Me: The despicable animal? IC: No, my friend from church. Me, rolling with it: Oh, right. Our mutual friend, Cat. IC: You know Cat? Me: Yaaah. About yea tall **gestures about three feet in the air** likes running… and… pizza.” IC: Wow! You know Cat!

Inclusive Child, giving me the sideye: Are you a kid, or a dad? Me: I’m not a dad. IC: So… you’re a kid? ‘Cause you look like a dad. Me: …Yes? No! I’m not a dad, but I am an uncle. In fact, I have four– IC: An uncle? I—I thought you were a kid!

Señorita Sassypants peers in my ear while I sit criss-cross applesauce on the floor. Señorita Sassypants: The inside of your ears are disgusting. Me to me: I have just had my personal hygiene questioned by a child. I have never before felt so insecure.

elixir of life

2nd Grade Me, joking: Hey, look, it’s those purple glue sticks! Makes you kinda hungry, yeah? Child 1: Yeah. I haven’t had one in a while, though.  They’re not bad. A little minty.

“Hey, look, it’s those purple glue sticks! Makes you kinda hungry, yeah?” “Yeah. I haven’t had one in a while, though. They’re not bad. A little minty.”

Me: Wait—I was just joking— Child 2: Yeah, minty is a good way to put it. But they sort of give you a headache. Child 1:  Just a little one. Me: A headache. Do you… eat these often? Child 2: Not that much. Child 1: Like, not that much, I mean, I’ve only eaten them twice this school year. Child 2: Twice for me, too. Me: It’s barely October.  Child 3, wandering over: Are we talking about eating glue? Me: You—you’ve also— Child 3: It’s pretty good. Kinda minty, but there might be little bit of a headache after. Me: …ohhkay then. Hours pass. All the students have left for the day. A purple glue stick sits temptingly on a semicircle table.The pursuit of knowledge and flavor beckons. It’s labeled nontoxic, after all… “Hey, that is minty!”

Then… the headache.

For more ridiculous school conversations, do check out the original Tales from the Trenches: Conversations of a Substitute Teacher.  Then, go hug a teacher. And put money and chocolate syrup into their bag so they can have a good Monday.

Mercenary of Knowledge: More Conversations of a Substitute Teacher I've been picking up some financial slack between jobs and travels by working as a substitute teacher.

[lauren-nabors]

it’s been a long time, tumblr. how’s it going everyone? 

in the spirit of transparency and honesty, (and because really, if you can’t be honest on your own blog that you’re pretty sure no one reads anymore anyway in your own private corner of the internet, then where can you be honest?) this spring has sucked. like a lot. every couple of weeks I think, surely life can’t get any harder, but then it does and i’m always left reeling a little with anger and frustration and exhaustion. but also it has started to make me think that this is just the new normal. comparing life to new york city three years ago doesn’t work anymore. so anyway, here i am in the mid-west (missouri, misery) just trying to take it one day at a time, often wondering why I’m here and what does God have up his sleeve that’s taking us down this frustrating road in the first place?

anyway! other than that, we’ve had some visitors come to stay with us, which was fantastic and such a breath of fresh air to have our nyc friends here. two of the visits were plagued with a bit of hardship, which i’ll share below. 

sarah jo & peterson were our first visitors, back in mid-april. they came during the middle of the week as they did a road-trip all the way from nyc and back. if i didn’t hate being in the car so much i would totally want to recreate their roadtrip adventure! we were pretty crazy at the restaurant those days, with big catering orders and wholesale deliveries, but we still managed to squeeze in some fun things. we grilled out, got in the hot tub, made margaritas, took them to Bass Pro and Sam’s Club (ha!) and got Pineapple Whip AND Andy’s Frozen Custard in the same day. i feel like we got to know Peterson really well this visit and they are just so funny and easy to be with, it was great! 

a week and a half later, our dear friends Alice and Kyle flew in. they used to live in our old neighborhood in harlem but have recently moved to Connecticut, though they’re both still commuting into the city for work. unfortunately heavy rains and storms delayed their flight and they missed their connection in Chicago. they were lucky to get re-booked on another airline and made it in the same night, just much later than expected. the next day they came to the mill and we got to show them around and have breakfast and lunch there with them. that afternoon we visited Bass Pro (truly, this is the only place we have to take people) and that night we hung out at Brew Co. the next morning I woke up with the worst back-ache I have ever, ever experienced. it had been bothering me off and on all that week and i just kept thinking it would go away but when i bent down to feed our cats that morning something just spasm’ed (sp?) throughout my whole body and i fell over and couldn’t get back up. i yelled at clif and he had to jump out of bed and carry me back to the couch. it was the most excruciating pain i have ever felt in my life, no joke. i was probably at a 9 or 10 on the pain scale throughout the day. i could not walk and could barely put any weight on it. of course, Alice and Kyle were here which made me feel even worse because I didn’t think I could muster up the strength to walk or even get out of the house. they were so sweet and patient and offered help and advice. clif and kyle got out to get lunch and icy hot and pain killers and all that good stuff while alice and i just sat in the living room and talked pretty much all afternoon. later that day we grilled out and they set me up on the patio with a chair so i could be part of the group. i kept thinking i had slipped a disc or something more serious but was relieved to find out i didn’t have any of the symptoms of a slipped or torn disc. Alice and Kyle left early the next morning and, as much as i hated that i was pretty much out of commission their entire last day here, we got to spend a ton of time just chatting and catching up and that’s what their visit was all about anyway. they are such dear friends to us and we were also so thrilled to find out at the beginning of their visit that they’re pregnant! 

the next day my back felt a lot better but i still had this plaguing pain in my lower left side of my back. our friend Shelby who is a family practitioner suggested some acupuncture (Alice also recommended it when she was here and said she’d had great results) and some light stretching. I made an appointment for acupuncture the next day and I am delighted to report that after two sessions my back felt 100% better. I don’t know that I would go all the time, but I can definitely get on board with some of the benefits of it. I felt significantly less stressed (this helped a lot for what was to come the following weekend) and even noticed my cramps were almost non-existent during my next period, as my acupuncturist mentioned that was a possible added benefit from the treatments. 

the previous week our friend Adrian (clif’s first roommate in NYC and the person responsible for introducing me to Clif) emailed to say he had a client meeting for work in Jefferson City, MO and would like to come a few days early and stay with us before his meetings. of course we were like “YES! COME ON!” he came the following weekend after alice and kyle were here, resulting in three visits back to back to back. Adrian arrived Saturday afternoon amidst torrential downpours and lightening storms. how his flight actually landed I am amazed! it had been raining nonstop all week and my mom sent me a text saying that the local news station was reporting on all the flooding around town, some in our neighborhood. we stayed for dinner at the restaurant with Adrian and then headed home. we checked our basement immediately and everything was fine, so we settled into the living room with some drinks and began visiting with Adrian. it had been almost two years since we’d last seen him! about 45 minutes later our cat FDR wandered into Clif’s lap and Clif noticed his paws were wet. we bolted back down to the basement and sure enough, water was pouring in from every crack and crevice imaginable. the guys took off for Home Depot to try and find a sump pump (every place in town was sold out) and eventually came back home with a shop vac, which helped out a little but couldn’t keep up with the rapid rate the water was coming in. we went to bed feeling extremely on-edge and worried, but knowing the reality was that there was nothing we could do about it. we woke at 3:30am and our hearts broke when we saw 8″ of standing water in our basement. our basement was partially finished with a wood-laminate flooring throughout. we had a lot of storage stuff down there, as well as clif’s guitars and a couch and desk and ALL of the Christmas decorations we had put up at the mill this past year. there was nothing that could be done, we just had to wait for it to recede. i got back in bed and literally prayed for a miracle - i didn’t know if it would recede on it’s own and since we knew the sump pumps were currently sold out around town i wasn’t sure how we would get all the water out on our own. i also was afraid it would keep rising and start to come up the staircase to our main floor, as it was still raining and rain was forecasted to continue for the next day and a half. at 7am I woke up and checked the basement - in nothing short of a miracle, the water was all completely gone. completely. we knew there was a ton of work to be had in our future, but luckily we didn’t have to tend to it right then and were able to spend our last day with Adrian by not dealing with standing water in our basement. thank you, Lord. 

we headed to Hotel Vandivort for brunch and then I had to run off to prepare for a managers meeting at our restaurant that afternoon. the rain continued, so we ended up lounging on the couch watching a marathon on HGTV and Clif cooked us all dinner. Adrian is just the best, he is such an interesting and caring guy and we were both so thrilled he was actually able to come to our home for a few days and see our restaurant, too. he and his wife Audrey will soon be re-locating to Toronto full-time, so who knows when and how we will coordinate seeing them again. 

everything has been a bit of a whirlwind since then. we spent a few days stripping the flooring out of our basement and getting it dried with fans and a dehumidifier. we still aren’t sure what to do next, but now that we know the house is capable of flooding again we certainly aren’t going to spend a lot of money to fix it back up. we’ll probably just leave the floor as exposed concrete and invest in getting a sump pump permanently installed. 

as soon as my back felt 100% again, my allergies kicked in. i’ve spent the last two weeks with a stuffy nose and sore throat and haven’t had a day off for a week and half. we’ve had some work-related fires to put out and have both been so exhausted we haven’t felt up to doing much. i finally got some planters around our house planted with flowers but i doubt we’ll get anything planted in our garden this season. we just ran out of time and now it’s summer-time-hot already. where did this year go?! 

we are *fingers crossed* planning some sort of getaway in June, most likely to Chicago. we need some time away again - Puerto Rico feels like it was just yesterday but that was more than three months ago already! 

Here are just a few pictures from the last few months to remember what we’ve been up to that’s been good. sometimes you have to force yourself to think about the good things, so that you don’t just dwell on the negative things, am i right? until next time... 

beautiful peony in our backyard 

GIVE OZARKS DAY where we helped raise funds to support Ozarks Food Harvest and then took a picture with this giant fork, because duh. 

my MUG DAY at Brew Co was last Sunday!

went to see our friends’ kids Grant and Mason in their school talent show, where they did a totally improvised hip hop dance and it was fantastic 

just me and Fred 

Hotel Vandivort bathroom selfie with Adrian 

i’ve read some great novels this spring, including this one below that i devoured in just a few days 

we made a new tv commercial with KY3, then I went in to help edit it and took this screenshot where i look like a true moron.

Parker and his parents came up to Springfield, where we had lunch together and Parker hung off our furniture like a little monkey :) 

Alice and Kyle and this big bear at Bass Pro

when you ask your breakfast grill employee to make you a special breakfast and they spell “hi” with the bacon 

playing corn hole with Sarah Jo and Peterson 

...but Sarah Jo mostly just watches and laughs and drinks her wine 

just the four of us, outside of Brew Co on a beautiful April afternoon 

an election day beer, Clif was so thrilled when Dogfish Head finally got distribution here in MO! 

had a hold on this Harry Potter for almost a month so I was thrilled when it came in and I could go check it out from the library! 

at the beginning of April we took our staff out for bowling and pizza and had a great time!