#dont worry guys im okay!!!
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Accidentally gave myself exposure therapy! Results? Police report.
#crab says words#dont worry guys im okay!!!#i got physically assaulted by multiple grown men at a park today but someone else stepped in to help before it got bad#first time filing a police report my lack of being able to identify what people look like ever aha go brr#physical abuse trauma made the panic go thru the roof fr tho#i think i held myself together amazingly well didnt have a breakdown until i got back to the car#the amount of death threats screamed at me tho#before i got out of the car i joked about getting hate crimed but i didnt think it would actually happen my bad honesty#i knew what i was walking into i shouldve expected it hdksjdjdjd#sorry for rambling#again im okay dont worry#just very shaken up#it was a celebration for a friends birthday who committed suicide. he was trans. his parents did not accept that.#they really didnt like that i was wearing a “be proud” pride shirt to this gathering or that another of his trans friends was with me#we were expecting to be verbally assaulted and treated poorly but not physically assaulted and given death threats again totally my bad#shouldve expected horrible people to be horrible#im just glad that all of us are okay and the police report was filed so hopefully something might possibly be done about it#i dont have high hopes since i couldnt identify anyone but its better than nothing#sorry for this entire post honestly it was just a lot and i needed to vent aha
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GLAD EVERYONE ENJOYED THE ANDROID INFO UPDATE ABOUT INTERFACING DFGJNDGKGNMXGHNCBNM
#dbhc#dbhc sillies#the shepherd#my sona#art escapades#IM DEAD#dbhc doc#dbhc etho#there was a point I was working on pt 6 and I realized I never. talked about it#and I was like oh my god only detroit fans are gonna. know#erm#I should really do something about that#THERE WERE A FEW PEOPLE WHO CALLED IT OUT BEFORE PT 6 EVEN DROPPED#LIKE#‘hm. interesting you added that last part. interesting. hm. hm.’ LMAO#glad it did it’s job#I wanted to emphasize in that post how like. NOT OKAY it is to force interface with someone#it’s very… idk if violating is the right word but I think it would feel very invasive/uncomfortable#if it’s not something you asked for yknow#ANYWAY IM INSANE#etho and doc WILL make up. eventually.#if I may. doc ‘no we aren’t telling anyone what happened. it’s not a threat to them anyways and this isn’t the first time I’ve replaced this#arm. it’s nothing the other hermits need to worry about’ 77#you better let xisuma comfort you. i dont know if it’s safe to have another guys trauma in your brain. you should get that checked out
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One of my mutuals opinions is the "bro code" thing, that Curly is one of those guys who wouldn't care about the victim because the perpetrator is his friend and I'm really banging my head on the wall like that other anon. I've only played through the game once but Curly's behaviour/reactions etc read completely different from the "bro code" thing and I have to wonder if my mutual and I even played the same game.. like the constant digs at him from Jimmy, his body language in his face reveal and so on like you mentioned in your post. While this game is a little different obviously, it kind of reminded of a point in Alice Madness Returns that makes it very clear that Alice's pain blinded her to the abuse of the other children and her failure to act earlier because of it. Curly is guilty of a similar inaction but it doesn't change the fact he was a victim of Jimmy too. I don't think I can look at it any other way because both of these games have really stuck with me.
I genuinely think it really is the idea that people want a simple easy to blame problem and the idea that the only relatable victims of abuse are those that "surpass" it or do a lot to help others. When it comes to victims, especially those that don't fit the typical demographics, who either accidently perpetuate it, enable it or aren't ideal in some way shape or form, people jump to ignore what they went through as it's easier than dealing with those conflicting sentiments.
The bro-code conversation in Mouthwashing stems from a concept I generally dislike that there had to be something about Curly that made him meet or keep being friends with someone like Jimmy. I think people genuinely underestimate how many like decent and good people just know an asshole or are friends with someone who is really bad outside of their view/established dynamics. The game makes it clear none of the inaction against Jimmy is because of a lack of care, it is a lack of understanding from the privaleged postions they have as men to not have to worry about what Anya does/went through and the type of extremes men like Jimmy will go through to cover it up. They are all too preoccupied in their own strifes.
Another thing I see being oversaturated the idea that you have to be a freak, misanthrope or have a disorder to do the thing Jimmy does. The game is an escalation, it's a spiral that I don't see people comment on that Jimmy was not likely having the mood swings and episodes of rage/frustration we were seeing in the game. This is after they all start experiencing the worst moments in their lives that he got THAT openly bad. Of course, this is just my interpretation but much like in real life, people that go to extremes like that usually live mundane lives. It's a pressure cooker affect to where the stress made them pop. It's self inflicted but still the case.
I really think people need to be more willing to acknowledge that not everything needs to be an extreme or in black and white or easy to understand. It doesn't need to be happy or have an answer or solution, especially in the cases where the abused sadly helps perpetuate what they experience. It's not he should've known better from experience or shouldn't he have known what could've happened because victims tend to not like to think in matters of the worst. Not to mention, especially in cases of abuse where it feels so personally directed that you don't expect to happen to someone else.
#i also hear the bro code thing in tandem with his comments on saying he knows Jimmy but that is also in a much different context than#if he said it when Anya was actively telling him about the dead pixel or the pregnancy or even when she told jimmy that was about himself#and getting between Anya and Jimmy as in he knows Jimmy and knows he wont try anything when hes around not that he doesnt think hes#doing anything or doesn't believe Anya and Im a bit annoyed people shorthand or try to recontextualize the statements he makes about it#cause even the let me talk to him line is more in concern of what Jimmy could be doing and less wanting to make sure hes okay and#being more worried about his friend than Anya in that moment like removing the context makes the sentiments sound more uncaring#and typically but the context is how they are deconstructed to give the story and themes a deeper nuance because Anya is happy that Curly#says that becuase he leads it under the idea of protecting her as he knows and she has likely seen/experienced it enough that Jimmy#back down/off around Curly typically as we see he does relatively subdue Jimmy's attitude before the eval and it only gets bad once the#scene at the birthday party happens when Jimmy is likely in a mode where hes not going to listen to Curly about anything after cause he fee#personally betrayed in a selfish egotistical way like the game is a deconstruction nothing is supposed to a typical one to one on the#concepts it handles. this also ties to me like getting more and more annoyed everytime is see a post making Curly the most milktoast#no opinions ever sort of guy when he does have a personality outside of enabling Jimmy and has opinions on things like the QnA's#talking about him being snow Tony Hawk flesh him out more realistically than think pieces saying he has no opinions on anything#and would never take stances like this is a immediate dire circumstance with multiple facets I dont think hed hesitate to help if he active#saw like someone getting attacked on the street or that hes a centrist that doesnt care about womans issues like this is the equivalent#of when a character gets dumbed down to their like favorite food and one defining aspect of themselves and even then I feel like everyone#else but the mouthwashing fandom has a better grasp of that aspect before they make it unrecognizable.#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#ask#anon
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guys im not obsessed with Rasey.
has anyone noticed that I cannot choose a style for the life of me? no? okay good
Also, my fic isnt on haitus im just kinda slow guys<3
#artists on tumblr#young artist#digital art#artwork#fanart#cute art#tmnt rasey#rasey#tmnt raph#rapheal hamato#raph tmnt#tmnt casey#casey jones#tales of the tmnt#tottmnt#raphael#my art#illustration#i love angst#dont worry guys#ive been warming u guys up#get ready for zero happiness#HAHAHAHA#HAHAHA#HAHAHAHAHA#okay im tired#peace out#happy 4/20 btw
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His shirt is ironed and his hair is combed....excuse me while I go sob in a corner.
#Im writing chapter 2 of my fix it fic where my guy is okay#and Im giving them a pretty hard time#but everything is better than whatever the fuck happens in tlou 2#if I ever post about it I will be tagging accordingly because I dont wanna ruin it for other people#I have certain tags blocked so I dont see certain things but when I do see it because its not tagged its not fun#so no worries about that#also I fucking love going on a whole rant in the tags#joel miller#pedro pascal#tlou#the last of us#tlou 2#tlou 2 trailer
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Prompt 33
Geralt is a siren who lives with his pod in the deepest trenches of the ocean. Geralt and his pod frequently team up together to take down large seabeasts, protecting their oceans, other seafolk, and even the landfolk from certain monstrosities. Jaskier is a merman who lounges luxuriously in coral reefs and plays pretty relaxing music there all day every day. Both are crushed with a crippling loneliness.
Geralt's hunts that bring him closer to the surface of the water, (and by closer, I still mean deep as hell, he's just no longer surrounded by healthy non-blobby blobfish and photophores everywhere) He tends to hear the humming and chittering of a mer. The sound relaxes him so much, he begins swimming out of the deepest depths after certain battles to find the soothing noise. You can use just this if you prefer shorter prompts, OR, if you'll indulge my gay fantasies- One day, he swims over toward the reef only to hear panicked screeching, and scent blood in the water. He nYOOoms over and finds a mer being attacked by a monster. Geralt fights it off, either with swords or maybe perhaps just his claws and teeth if we're feeling ~✨feral✨~ Either way, he defeats the beast, and turns to the mer, only for the mer to pass out right then and there. Damn him. Geralt takes him to a nice cove nearby and begins patching him up. When the mer wakes up, he's all hissy and scared, but Geralt calms him quickly by humming one of his melodies. And apparently doing this flips a fuckin switch, because the Mer suddenly goes from being scared shitless of Geralt, to being scared shitless when not touching Geralt every second of every minute of every hour of every godsdamn day. It's already been a few days, he has to tell his pod why he's gone missing, but every time he goes to leave, the mer hisses at him. Eventually, Geralt grows tired of the worry he must be giving his family, and swims out of the cave, even as the Mer screeches at him. He informs his pod he's alive and well and just... b u s y... with.... t hi n g s... before he swims back to the cove only to find his mer BAWLING. The mer is ecstatic that he's returned and seems to forgive Geralt after a day of snuggling. Okay, new problem: The merman isn't healed enough to go back into the open ocean and yet keeps slipping out when Geralt is asleep only to return with shells, sea glass, moss, sometimes even anemones that are deemed prettier than others. It takes Geralt longer than he'd like to admit to figure out the merman is trying to court him.
#Either they know a common seafolk language#or theres a language barrier where one knows siren and one knows mermish and these gay bitches gotta learn from each other#mermay#mermay 2024#merfolk#merpeople#siren#mermaid au#mer au#merfolk au#geraskier#fanfiction prompts#geralt x dandelion#geralt x jaskier#witcher fanfiction#the witcher#geralt loves his bard!#writing prompts#requited unrequited love#mer may#highkey worried yall hate my longer prompts but its the only way i can think to spread my ideas#is it the mental illness or do you guys hate when theyre long#dont tell me ill kill myself#for legal reasons this is a joke#someone reblogged this with custom tags i feel so loved im no longer killing myself (AGAIN A JOKE)#Okay i'm cool now
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been having thoughtts about dragons in g/t recently. i dunno why i cant get it out of my brain.
more specifically, a dragon slayer whose goal is to defeat fearsome beasts and keep their kingdom safe.
Somehow, they're cursed to become a dragon. Maybe they piss off a witch or pick up some enchanted item. Either way, they're now the very thing their people fear.
They weep every day, watching the kingdom from afar. They can't get too close anymore, not without being shot at by tiny arrows.
They just wanted to be a hero, someone to be brave for the people who couldn't be. However, now? They've been forced to give up hope on those aspirations
because now they are the one being woken out of their slumber, met with blades and fire. They are hunted. No one recognizes them anymore, not as the person they once were. In their people's eyes, they're a giant, ferocious monster.
#been thinking about a lot of giant angst... but since im a sucker for comfort it'll all end up okay#can you guys tell i enjoy giants being perceived as monsters yet#top tier fearplay trope#dont worry they always end up being accepted for who they are now in the end#g/t#g/t community#sfw g/t#size difference#fearplay#giant/tiny#tiny#giant#accidental fearplay#gt prompts
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at this point i have a good mental image of how i want botw/totk link to look. but until i actually draw a ref for him everytime i draw his scars out its an exercise in "fuck it we ball"
#peace and love on planet earth <3#hope everyone has been well. i beat ff7 (again) yesterday. much to think about#i have some wips im chipping away at so hopefully ill have those ready in the next few weeks hehe. trying not to burn myself out#are those wips zelink? well. who is to say <- guy who is painfully obvious#its not just them i have other stuff im working on incl requests so dont worry im not too insane just yet#probably gonna start another ff9 playthrough until dawntrail drops in a couple of weeks i think :]#okay. have a good evening everypony and happy pride#personal.txt
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#guys...is it too parasocial if i say im worry for dream?#like last time we saw him going back to 2020 humour was on december and...he clearly did bc he was on a bad place#and idk im worried if he's doing bad or not rn#and idk his anwser to that comment sounded to me like a bit off#like idk it reminds me to that time too much and now im worrying myself if he's okay#like no excusing anyone nor saying what he did it's excusable just genuine worry about his well being#yeah this is too parasocial but yk what rn idc we're all being parasocial rn with each other or dream#so idk but I hope his friends go check on him#this feels too random too so im wodering if something happened that freaked him out or what#idk kinda venting my worries that probably dont have a base rn but i want to be compresive than mean rn#negativity
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I have to redo 1/4 out of my animatic, and that’s basically all I have done yet.
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc jax#tadc zooble#animatic in progress#send help#doodle#dont worry guys#im okay
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#every day we wake up and we tell ourselves things will be okay and every day they don't feel okay#and it feels like things are just getting worse#and we have more to say but. someone's telling us to shut the fuck up.#🩹 is at the end of his rope and that's scary. have you ever seen the usually positive energetic guy want to kill himself. it's scary#things ddont feel okay and aren't okay and#i dont think it's fine snymore. i dont know#im tired.#deletey#as always there's more to say but someone wants us to shut the fuck up. so. ok.#dont worry about it it's fine. has to be. we have no choice or some shit.
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If you are mentioned in this scheduled post, that means I trust you that you will not worry for me!
I would also recommend you read this post with the music I'm adding so you guys can feel the message a bit more.
Here's what I gotta say for everyone... Including you guys.
I may not be able to answer or talk as much. I don't know what's going on with me but I'm slowly growing more tired.
This ain't in character or the mod. This is me we're talking here.
I may be getting worse and that's okay because as long as I'm making others happy, I don't need to care about my well-being.
For the last part I wanna say is that, I am very honored to even be part of these things and I'm genuinely tearing up with how magnificent this group is. I appreciate every single one of y'all with giving me the chance to even interact with you guys or even RP with you all. If I could give anything to be part of this again, I would do it hundreds of times to be here now. I love you guys within the entirety of my heart.
I hope you all understand that I will be okay as long as you're all okay! I feel like I'm deteriorating but I'll be okay though!
As for you though, @slimsurvivalmax . You are the most amazing nephew I could've asked for. I am sorry that I wasn't there as much but I hope you know that I am proud of you for everything you've done. You've kept me together for so long along with everyone else here. I am happy to be called your uncle and I mean it.
@scannys-back @kali-lamb @askthe-littlepoet @ask-theredcrown @nebby-the-cat @kenidur1561 @the-justified-anon @ask-darkwood-hunter @jeyk2117 @yarnor-the-timid-raccoon @the-sleepydragon @tug6056 @dragon-in-the-old-faith @askacultleader
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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hm. might fuck around and draw some other peoples ocs just for funsies when I have time its a nice change of pace from what I usually do
#im not gonna do requests since I dont want to promise too much to anyone#but if people are interested in me drawing their ocs I guess like this post? and then I'll go through and find some to draw when I have tim#mutuals I might just draw ur ocs regardless I hope thats okay#ive been wanting to do that for a bit but I always get worried it'll be like...weird or something? IDK but im fuck it we balling#I keep getting really caught up in really big complicated ideas and like#its nice to just draw something a little different than that#I do have some bigger projects on the backburner but I think it'll help to just doodle some new guys as warmups or smth#to remember how to work with the basics instead of like. one million factors.#also who knows if ill stick with this when it isn't 11:30pm but I have been looking forward to artfight and im realizing I dont have to wai
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sometimes i think about my professor that used to like lowkey have a crush on me (he was at least 55.) last semester and every time i tell my friends about the stuff he did towards me i realize how u incredibly not normal that was
#🎀 - mello talks too much#OKAY NOTHING TOO BAD DONT WORRY#he asked me to take him to the airport one time and drive his car back to his house#he also would stand next to me during tests and just like watch me#like i’m not exaggerating#just WATCH me#at the desk next to me#and then he told me i smelled really good#and then he tried to give me a multitude of answers during the test#and then when i was sitting with my friend he like literally sat on the table i was at and starting talking to me like we are friends#and then he would be like ”he mello TEXT me and remind me to send out homework” like hello?? i’m not texting you??#and one time when i got my haircut he announced to everyone in my lab how he noticed n how good it looked#and NOW i see him sometimes and he steps on my foot and always says hi to me im in front of everyone#and he is so loud#so everyone in my bio class looks at me#also he zipped up my backpack for me like 2 days ago#which doesn’t sound weird but paired with everything else he did#AND THEN he asked for me to come to his field trip with his ecology class#which like#????#what#and he calls me smart like all the time#yeah#he was a strange guy#still see him which is insane#i am totally forgetting more this#things
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So Subspace Right-
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Evil Evil Scientist That I Hate(<-He's My Secondary Main)
#phighting subspace#subspace phighting#subspace t mine#subspace tripmine#phighting!#bm's baked goodies#||#Low Quality As All Hell Because Im. Worried. Sorry Bout That#I Havent Drawn This Guy Until Like Now So A Majority Of The Non-Canon Designs Choices I.#Stole From A Friend Lmao#Hi Future Me Here I Did Not Forget The Pattern of The Sleeve Thingy No Clue What Youre Talking About#Pretend Its There Okay I. Dont Wanna Go Back And Draw That
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