#dont push them so hard to ruin their lives for your own gain

[theadventurek9]

Yes!!!

As I am approaching Aayla's retirement from obedience I am trying to think what's next? In no way is she mentally ready to retire from training. So we've started scentwork and as always will have hiking and exploring to do. She can do rally a bit longer but I suspect her hips might be getting arthritic so the multiple sits in rally won't be something she can do long term.

When Aayla had her surgery for her elbow dysplasia and spent 8 months in restricted exercise I saw the mental damage that caused. She was on extreme exercise restriction for three months, then limited exercise for another five. While I tried to work on low movement brain games it just wasn't enough for her. She went from agility, obedience, rally and disc to...very easy tricks and puzzle games only. Her frustration tolerance drastically declined and even to this day is more vocal, easily frustrated and frantic about work.

It really changed my opinion on retirement and working dogs with limitations.

A lot of dogs that are good at sports need work. They thrive on training and physical movement and we expect them to just be able to stop. To just be happy to go on walks and stay at home.

I personally now value mental health over my dogs physical health. All in moderation of course. If she ends up a little sore after hiking with running and playing but is mentally suffering with only leash neighborhood walks, you bet I'm going to let her have her off leash time and give her some pain management medication after.

I do let my dysplastic dog run agility every now and then. She LOVES it and lights up whenever she gets the ability to do it. She jumps only 12" compared to what she used to do at 20". I monitor her after and she doesn't appear to be sore after so we will keep doing it. Though I have the knowledge of we did it on a more regular basis she would get sore. But I value her joy and happiness over risking her getting sore.

Just because Aayla no longer is eligible for our big goals (MACH, ATCH, AKC OTCH) doesn't mean that I should just stop with her. She wouldn't be happy with just that. We can play other activities that keep her going and challenged.

I've never been that interested in being competitive at scentwork. It's not my thing. Yet it is an activity that Aayla likes and she can do for the rest of her healthy life. So I will do it for her.

I don't think the idea of what retirement should be is talked about enough in dog sport spaces.

People "retire" dogs from sports all the time. The dog gets too old to safely play, acquires an injury that makes the sport unsafe or uncomfortable, or has a behavioral or temperament issue that makes the sport unenjoyable. I don't think anyone can argue that it's unethical to keep pushing a dog in a sport to their detriment.

But what I see from there, I can argue with. So many people get high drive working dogs and do... nothing with them when they retire. They often refer to them as a "couch ornament". They leave them home on sport weekends. They use the lack of finances or time to do an extra sport as the excuse to stop coaching and building new repertoires with the dog.

We spend so much time arguing these dogs NEED jobs, then do nothing with them for months to years at the end of their working life. Retirement (for humans as well as dogs-- but that's a whole new can of worms) should not mean doing nothing. Living beings aren't meant to stop learning and growing and doing. Puppies are less capable, but we don't do nothing with them until six months anymore. We meet them where they're at. It's so important for physical wellness and neural plasticity that we do the same with our retired dogs.

I have a dog whose health meant he would be retired in any serious competitive context. Biting a sleeve or suit is too high injury risk. He can't jump his full obedience height or to catch a disc. He will never get the AKC RACH or OTCH I had him slated for. But he still plays! He comes with to mondio club and is preparing to trial in obedience with no jumps. He trials in AKC preferred obedience and got his rally choice title, the highest level without jumps, last fall. We're going to compete for our UKC RACH this trial season, since they don't require jumps for rally and let you jump minimum height. He still competes in every disc dog competition my competitive dog does, and even surprised me by placing in the last two despite only catching rollers. We started shed hunt and a Nosework class even though I currently don't have the funds or time to compete in more sports.

The biggest difference I've noticed in him since competing with him and taking him to classes again? He's so so much more behaviorally sound. He's happier. He's fulfilled. And he's physically more sound on top of that, because he's using his body in healthy ways and is not so pent up that he's injuring himself with normal movement.

Retirement should mean a new phase in life, not life being over. Rest and stagnancy are not the same. Quite honestly, if my retired working dog isn't ready to learn a new activity or play a new game, it's time to have a serious talk with my vet about quality of life.

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Twenty-Two

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

content warnings: secondhand embarrassment, i dont know how skiing works, poor editing, NSFW 🔥

***

To Nesta’s horror, Cassian was serious when he said he’d teach her how to ski. Nevermind the fact that it’s his birthday, and they should be having a lazy morning together filled with cuddles and breakfast in bed. Instead, they’ve been up since six in the morning without food or drink, just to shuffle around in the snow while Cassian repeats the same instructions over and over. By late morning, the rest of their group has gotten up and joined them at the beginner’s trail to be firsthand witnesses to Nesta’s humiliation.

She stares down at the blinding white slope before her and inhales a breath of frigid mountain air, trying to steel her nerves before she has to push off the ground and take flight.

Cassian sees her hesitation and sighs. “Come on, Nesta,” he urges. “It’s thirty feet to the bottom of the hill.”

“Why is it so steep?” she demands, even though she knows this is a practice hill. Toddlers in skis are shuffling around them, hand in hand with their parents.

“You’re not falling to the bottom,” Cassian says, growing impatient. “You’re gliding.”

He’s already shown her how to maneuver with skis a dozen times already, and Nesta can see that he doesn’t have another dozen times left in him. Unfortunately for him, Nesta’s own patience was used up hours ago. Her stomach pangs with hunger, and she has a pounding headache from the cold and lack of sleep.

“Oh, come on, Nesta,” Gwyn calls from behind her. She hops up and down in her snow boots like a cheerleader. “You can do it!”

Nesta does not want to do it. She looks down at the hill, then back at Cassian with pleading eyes—eyes that he can’t see under her ski goggles anyway.

“I can’t take this anymore,” Azriel mutters from somewhere. He picks up his ski poles and points to Emerie. “Ski lift?”

“Sure—” she starts to say, and then remembers that she’s here to support Nesta. “Not now,” she amends.

“Just go,” Cassian turns to tell them. “At least some of us will be having fun.” Nesta watches as he goes over to Emerie and Az to give advice on the trails, the same frustration from last night building in her chest.

Stupid ski trip. Stupid uninvited guests. Stupid birthday that Cassian isn’t even treating like a birthday.

Gritting her teeth, Nesta jabs her ski poles into the ground. She’ll conquer this hill, and then she’ll conquer the rest of the trail, and then she’ll take her skis and set them on fire.

With everyone briefly preoccupied and no eyes on her, Nesta pushes herself downhill. Her skis slip a little as she takes off but she readjusts her feet the way Cassian showed her, regaining control. She takes a deep breath, realizing the height isn’t as scary as she thought it would be. Testingly, she bends her knees and pushes herself farther, gaining speed.

“Oh, oh, look!” she hears Gwyn say from behind her. “She’s doing it!”

The voice breaks Nesta out of her precarious concentration, and she almost misses the kid right in front of her skiing at the pace of a turtle. Gasping, Nesta swerves at the last second to avoid running him over.

Her skis clack into each other and she feels her ankle twist, and then she’s down. Hard. Her face meets snow and her ski gear jabs into her body as she tumbles down the rest of the hill, until she finally meets flat ground and rolls to a painful stop.

Nesta only hears a dull roar in her ears as she slowly pushes herself upright. Ignoring alarmed looks from stray skiers around her, she reaches forward and unstraps one ski from her foot, then the other. Her goggles fall to the ground next. Once free, she stands up and walks away, ignoring the calls of her friends from the hilltop.

She walks until she loses sight of the trail and then the resort, until the flattened and trampled snow piles up into powdery mounds untouched by human presence. A cropping of towering evergreens appears before her, and she heads straight for the thicket without pausing.

Once safely entombed by the dark tree trunks and frosted branches, Nesta releases a breath and screams. Screams until the frustration and anger within her bluntens just a little.

The forest absorbs her fire and answers with silence.

“Better now?” Cassian’s voice comes from behind her.

Nesta whirls, ready to fling her next scream at him for having the nerve to follow her, but she only restrains herself because it’s his birthday. Guilt and humiliation nips at her; she shouldn’t be doing this on his birthday. “Leave me alone.” Her voice is raw from shrieking.

Cassian only takes a step closer to Nesta, eyeing her up and down. “You’re not hurt, right? ’Cause that would be embarrassing for you.”

Any edge that was taken off starts to build up again, and Nesta really doesn’t want to look at him right now. “Cassian—”

“Your face is turning red,” he suddenly gasps, pointing. “You should try yelling again, babe. I don’t think the entire resort heard you last time.”

Done with her boyfriend’s shit, Nesta releases a growl and rushes at him. He’s a lot closer than she realized, and in a blink she slams right into his broad chest and shoves him with all her might.

Cassian laughs, short and blunt, and pushes her right back. Her back hits hard-packed snow and then he’s on top of her, pinning her wrists loosely beside her head. Icy wetness seeps past the neck of her jacket.

“Do you want me to fucking bite you?” Nesta snarls, getting in Cassian’s face.

“Always,” he says without hesitation, pressing closer to her. “But first you gotta take a breather.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” she seethes back. At this rate, she really might bite him. She wants to see his smug face drop when he realizes he pushed her too far.

“You might have an aneurysm at this rate with your anger issues.” He pouts prettily. “Imagine how sad that would make me.”

“I DON’T HAVE ANGER ISSUES!” she shrieks.

Cassian barely blinks. Nesta breathes heavily in the ensuing silence, realizing how embarrassing this is for her. Yet she doesn’t know how to stop.

Closing her eyes, she drops her head to the ground and turns away. Wishing she could sink into the ground and vanish for a few minutes, at least until she gets herself under control again.

After a moment of quiet, she feels the back of Cassian’s fingers brush her neck. “I wondered where that spitfire girl went,” he says lowly. “She didn’t die. You just hid her very well.”

Nesta’s body doesn’t know whether to feel soothed or incited by the touch, the words. “Does it make you happy?” she breathes, her eyes still closed. “That she’s still there?”

“It would be murder if you ever got rid of her. Don’t you dare,” he threatens.

Nesta huffs a derisive laugh. It’s easy for him to say, when he isn’t the one that has to live with it. “I bet you’re enjoying this.”

“Only if you are.” He sounds completely genuine, and Nesta feels him pluck something out of her hair—likely a snowflake.

Realizing Cassian has long since released her wrists, she opens her eyes and stares at the column of his neck. She doesn’t see the regret and concern on his face when he says, “I ruined today, didn’t I?” She watches him swallow before he adds, “I’m sorry, Nes.”

“It’s your birthday,” she mutters, looking away. “You can do whatever you want.” Even if it’s spending the whole day skiing.

“You’re right about that.” His warm breath hits her nose, and now that Nesta’s head is somewhat clear, she can feel every place where his body settles into hers.

Before she can betray herself and forget how upset she was at him only a few minutes ago, Cassian pushes up and off of her. Frigid air replaces where he was just sprawled, and then he’s holding out a hand to Nesta. “We’re going back to our room,” he says, watching Nesta’s feet closely as he helps her stand. “You can ride on my back.”

“Why?” Nesta grumbles, brushing herself off. “I can walk fine.”

“You twisted your right ankle on the way down that hill, and you started limping as soon as you thought you were out of sight.” Cassian turns around and points at his back. “Get on while I’m being nice.”

That makes Nesta scoff, because he’s always nice, but she has little fight left today. She tries to reach up to wrap her arms around his neck, but Cassian grabs her legs and hitches her up onto his back before she can struggle.

She responds with a scowl, clasping her hands across his chest and getting comfortable. “You noticed I was hurt but didn’t have a problem with tackling me to the ground?”

Cassian squeezes her thighs and holds her closer, tossing a blinding smile over his shoulder. “Sorry if I wasn’t expecting you to try to jump me with an injured foot. You took me by surprise.”

“Bullshit,” Nesta says as they start walking out of the trees. “You did it on purpose.”

“Do you like starting fights, Archeron?”

“Do you?” she retorts.

They bicker back and forth like that until they reach the resort, and even once they’re inside the lobby, Cassian doesn’t put Nesta down. The exhaustion of the day has settled over the both of them by then, and the elevator ride up to the penthouse is peacefully quiet.

Back at the empty suite, Cassian carefully lowers Nesta to her feet. “Take your clothes off,” is all he says before heading for the bathroom, shedding his heavy outer jacket as he goes. Nesta has no problem listening; she’s all too happy to take her snow-drenched gear off and breathe air-conditioned air again.

She only realizes as she’s removing her boots that her overwrought emotions must have dulled the real pain of her fall. Her entire body aches down to the bone, and her twisted ankle has it the worst. Inspecting the swollen skin around her foot, she wonders if Cassian will make her see a doctor when the sound of a running faucet pulls her attention. Still dressed in her thermal underwear, Nesta pads over to the bathroom.

Inside, the room is dim, and the only light comes in from the single window panel at the far end of the room. Cassian sits on the rim of the clawfoot tub as it fills with heated water, already naked.

Nesta coughs, caught off guard. The sight is far from unfamiliar to her, and yet she hates to admit that she’ll never not react to it.

Cassian looks up at her, meeting her eyes head on, and a giggle almost escapes her.

“What’s that dumb look on your face?” he says with high brows. “Take your clothes off and get in.”

Nesta firmly schools her face into obedience. Is she a grown woman or a schoolgirl? she chides herself as she strips naked. But as soon as she’s free of her top and leggings, Cassian stops her. “Turn around,” he says.

Is this a sex thing? She hopes it’s a sex thing. She does as she’s told, and hears Cassian hiss in a breath. Glancing at the mirror over the sink, Nesta winces when she realizes what he sees. “Damn.” Her back is peppered with still-forming bruises from her fall, along with her legs and ribs.

Getting up, Cassian approaches her and cautiously runs his fingers over a reddened spot on her ribs. “I think a ski pole stabbed me there,” Nesta says, frowning down at the bruise. She looks like shit, and not at all in a desirable way.

“How’s your ankle?” Cassian kneels to check for himself, handling her like a porcelain doll. He presses gently above the bone where she twisted it. “Does that hurt?”

Nesta considers saying yes, just so he can keep fussing over her like this, but she shakes her head. “I’m fine. Just a little achy.”

A sudden chaste kiss between her legs makes her yelp, and she twists to find Cassian still on his knees, grinning sheepishly up at her. “You know what can help with those aches?”

Nesta blanks as Cassian runs a calloused hand up her inner leg. “Uh…really good dick?”

Cassian is visibly trying not to smile when he says, “A bath.” He stands and turns the faucet off, before going to help Nesta into the tub.

Steaming hot water just beneath the point of being uncomfortable hits Nesta’s calves, then her hips and chest. She might moan in relief as she sinks into the bath.

Cassian settles in across from her, taking up most of the tub space as Nesta twists her ponytail into a bun. He takes her ankle onto his lap and starts massaging above the injury. He notes, “We haven’t been alone like this in ages.”

“I remember when it was my job to be the chill guy,” he continues, rubbing circles into her leg. “I was the one doing stupid shit, and now I have to tell other people to knock it off when they do stupid shit. Since when did Azriel take my role?” he mutters to himself.

Nesta tilts her head against the lip of the tub and watches Cassian, taking in the barely visible lines of weariness on his face. She was once in a similar boat, too, where she had no one to answer to but herself. “Do you miss it?” she asks hesitantly. “Life before we got to know each other?” A life spent in the company of his friends, meeting different women every other week and being as free as possible.

“No,” he says easily. “I miss life before we had to share each other with other people.” He meets her eyes and smirks. “Who knew monogamy could be so exciting?”

Nesta’s stomach curls at his honesty, and she doesn’t know what to say. In the silence, Cassian reaches for a washcloth and lathers it with a bar of pine scented soap. But before he can reach for Nesta, she snatches the washcloth from him and pulls herself forward into the cradle of his limbs. What she can’t say, she’ll just have to show.

She starts soaping up his arms, granting extra attention to his tattooed biceps.

“You’re hurt—” he tries to protest.

“Shut up.” She runs the washcloth over his shoulders, across his collarbones.

When Nesta reaches his chest, she starts, “Earlier in the woods...I lost control.”

Cassian looks wary, but she goes on, “I don’t know why I did that. I thought I didn’t do that anymore.”

“I know why,” he says simply. “You were having a bad day. It was overwhelming.” He shrugs.

“But I’m better than that,” she insists. “You might think it's cute or funny when I—lose it, but I spent years training myself not to fall apart at the slightest inconvenience.” She takes in a breath, her movements slowing. “I learned how to escape reality, remember? I climbed into books and TV and songs, and at one point my entire life passed me by because I refused to participate in it. If I didn't participate, I couldn't be hurt.” She wrings out the washcloth, and Cassian carefully pries it out of her grip.

Nesta places her empty hands on her thighs, avoiding his touch, his eyes. “I think you were one of the only people who ever made me want to come back to real life,” she offers awkwardly. “That's why you made me uncomfortable at first. There were times I would look at you and think, He's better than anyone from the books. If I start living on the same plane as him, I can have him. Does that make sense?”

Cassian swallows visibly, but nods.

“It seemed like an impossible thing to do at the time—participate in the real world, make real friends. But have you noticed? I don’t read as many romance novels anymore.” Not because she doesn’t love them, but because she no longer needs them to remind herself she's alive.

She looks up at him, searching for his thoughts and opinions. Cassian looks like he's doing the same with her face, but then he says, “If you need to scream, even if it’s at me, tell me. I’ll take you somewhere far away, or I’ll let you have it out right in front of everyone. Whatever the hell you want, as long as you tell me. Please.”

Nesta starts to shake her head, adamant, but he stops her with the most pitiful look he's ever given her. “There’s nothing I hate seeing more than you trying to swallow down your rough edges. Even in the woods, you were about to tame yourself before I provoked you.” Cassian holds out a pinky, completely serious. “Consider it my birthday gift. Don’t do that shit anymore.”

Nesta stares at him, his plea warring with years of conditioned self-restraint. “I already got you a birthday gift,” she finally grumbles, but hooks his pinky with hers.

He seems satisfied, but doesn't let go of her pinky. With surprising strength, he uses their hooked fingers to pull Nesta into him, and she just barely catches herself on his chest before he brings her head down and kisses her deep.

Nesta already has her legs adjusted around his waist and his cock pressed against her stomach before she can pull away far enough to choke, “What’s this for?”

He leans up and catches her lips with his again, dipping his tongue just far enough inside to flick the roof of her mouth before retreating. “For existing. And for those aches.” He presses down lightly on a bruise at her back and runs a soothing thumb over it right after. Between her thighs, she feels him growing hard.

Nesta huffs a distracted laugh, the steam from the water sending a red flush up her chest and neck. It's suddenly very hot, and she unconsciously squirms in his lap. “I just realized I’ve never had sex in the bath before,” she says out of nowhere, rubbing her chest and quickly dropping her arms. She’s babbling, she knows. Contrary to popular media, being a seductress is harder than it looks. Half the time she has no idea what to say, and she considers herself lucky that Cassian is driven wild by it anyway.

Cassian entertains her, nodding along while his fingers slip past her ass, brushing her folds. “That sounds like something that should be amended, don’t you think?”

“Well, in terms of comfort I’m not sure if it’ll be better than the shower—” She’s cut off by a finger teasing at her entrance, making her jerk. “Yes,” she says quickly. “Yes, it should be amended.”

He hums thoughtfully, leaning in to nibble and suck at her neck. Her hardened nipples brush against his chest, and Nesta pushes closer into Cassian’s embrace. She’s half-rocking against him when she rasps, “How do you give head in the bath? Do I, like, have to hold my breath underwater?”

“You don’t need to know how,” he mutters, grasping her by the hips and tugging her up so that he’s eye level with her chest. He starts leaving a trail of openmouthed kisses across her breasts. “You’re not doing anything I don’t tell you to do today.”

“What do you mean?” Nesta’s grip on Cassian’s shoulders tightens when he brings a pink nipple into his mouth, sucking hard and pulling off with a flick of his tongue. She can’t move her hips for fear of climaxing at the slightest touch. “It’s your birthday,” she manages to get out. “And I like seeing what I can do to you.”

“Then save it for your birthday.” He pulls her back down firmly into his lap, making her thighs clench with restraint. “Because I like seeing what I do to you more.”

To prove his point, he parts her legs and slips one finger inside her. The smug pride on his face at what he finds makes Nesta move to grip the rim of the tub. Having a pretty boyfriend might have been a mistake, she thinks. That kind of face will get away with anything. Right now, for example.

“Tell me what you want, then,” she pleads.

Cassian leans back, pretending to think. “Sit on my cock,” he finally says.

An easy enough order, one Nesta is all too excited to carry out in only a few movements. It takes a minute to adjust to the fullness and the stretch, and the water doesn’t help in dousing the fire in her veins at all. With heat pounding deep in her core, Nesta releases a terse breath. Her tongue darts out to wet her lower lip, and Cassian watches.

“Now don’t move,” he orders.

“What?” Nesta’s knees involuntarily clench around his hips, her body already craving the feel of moving against him, on top of him.

He levels her with a look. “No clenching, no rocking, no touching.” He hisses in a thoughtful breath, combing a wet hand through his hair. “Actually, that isn’t very fair, is it?”

Nesta is about to nod furiously when he says, “You still need to wash yourself.” He hands her the washcloth she used on him earlier and leans his elbow on the rim of the tub. “Be quick about it. No games.”

Nesta’s eyes widen, looking at the washcloth, then back up at Cassian. Excitement tingles in her fingers and toes, and she doesn’t want to argue with him.

Gulping tightly, she soaps up the washcloth, then smooths the lather over her arms. It’s hard to focus on what she’s doing when there’s a pounding pressure between her legs, and the only thing that keeps her going is that she’ll be rewarded when she’s done. Cassian doesn’t bother watching her, instead tipping his head back against the tub and closing his eyes. From this angle, the tendons in his neck stand out clearly, and the hard line of his jaw looks tense. Nothing on his calm face reveals that Nesta is the reason for his tension, though.

Bringing the soapy cloth over her breasts, Nesta looks up to see if Cassian is secretly peeking at her through his lashes. His eyes remain shut, the perfect portrait of a man at rest.

Suddenly, his hips shift beneath hers, and Nesta nearly drops the washcloth. Straightening up, she has to use herculean strength to force her inner walls to relax around him. “You moved,” she accuses him.

“I was getting comfortable,” he says, still not opening his eyes.

“Why can you move but I can’t?”

That gets him to look at her. His eyes are hooded and lazy when he says, “You’re still talking?”

“Maybe if you had clearly explained the rules—” Nesta starts to grumble, but shuts up when he quirks a brow at her. She won’t lose this game, not for anything—even if she’s split at the seams with Cassian inside her and is one thread away from completely snapping.

Now fully alert, Cassian watches Nesta finish washing up. He hasn’t touched her once since he pulled her onto his cock, and now Nesta tries to make up for the aching lack by pretending her roaming hands are his.

It’s not until the washcloth reaches her tummy that Nesta pauses, her hand frozen over her lower abdomen. Because there, even past the cloth, she can feel him. The skin just slightly bulges, and she looks down at herself with her lips slightly fallen apart. She didn’t realize he was nestled so deep in her, but now she swallows past a lump in her throat. “Cassian…” she starts weakly. Every last muscle is trembling with the effort to stay still. Can he really be unaffected by all of this? Is she really the only one dying right now?

Without intending to, her hand drops the cloth, slipping toward her clit. She can only brush the sensitive nub before Cassian says quietly, “Don’t.”

So this is against the rules, too. She can’t even bring herself to look at him, she’s strung so tight. Taking a shallow breath, she grabs the pitcher from the shelf by the tub and fills it with water, using it to rinse off the suds. When she’s done, with water droplets running down every inch of her, she dares to look at Cassian again. Her anxiousness to get this over with must be written all over her face, and yet.

“Good,” Cassian says, voice just a little grated.

Nesta’s heart rate picks up a beat. She’s finally getting her reward.

“Now sit still and pretty while I rest,” he says, sinking even lower into the tub—and causing his cock to dig even deeper into Nesta. “This is a bath, not a splash pad.”

Nesta chokes. “What—I thought—”

“Hm?”

She presses her lips together tightly, refusing to protest. He can’t make her warm his cock like this forever, can he? Soon enough he’ll crack.

Four minutes in, and he doesn’t crack. While Nesta gets closer to crying by the second, she has yet to find evidence that he’s even aware of her presence. Her only proof is the fact that he’s still rock hard, occasionally twitching against the depths of her walls.

At five minutes in, Nesta can’t help it. She breaks, and her inner muscles clamp around Cassian with a viselike grip. She half-sobs in pain and relief, and her hips jerk of their own accord.

Cassian’s eyes fly open at that, the pupils blown wide, and Nesta has to catch herself on his chest to keep from crumbling. If she had half a working brain left, she would have noticed the trembling restraint that lines Cassian’s limbs, or the way his eyes burn with welling desire and even sympathy. Instead, she turns her face into his chest and begs weakly, “Pleasepleaseplease.” Her thighs keep shifting, rubbing back and forth to create friction, but she can’t give herself permission to move the way she truly needs until Cassian gives her permission.

Nesta feels Cassian’s broad hand come up to carefully brush her back. She nearly weeps with relief at the touch, but he doesn’t go any further. “What do you want, baby?” he says roughly.

“You,” she forces out. She doesn’t care if this is losing.

“Me, what?” He sounds like he’s about to lose, too.

“I want you to fuck me.” She’s nearly whimpering, trying not to squirm on his lap.

Cassian, the horrible bastard, has the nerve to snicker in her ear, though he sounds more than a little wrecked when he says, “Well, why didn’t you just say so?”

In a flash, he has Nesta pinned against the porcelain tub. And before she can decide whether to laugh or moan or cry at the turn of events, Cassian covers her mouth with his and thrusts into her, giving her everything she wants.

***

Hours later, after they’ve sated themselves on sex and food and Cassian is napping sprawled out across Nesta’s back, she receives a text from Azriel telling her he won’t be there to celebrate the rest of Cassian’s birthday.

Az: You two deserve the alone time. Also I didn’t get him a present.

Another text pops up before Nesta can reply.

Az: I did order a cake to be sent up to your room, though. Don’t worry, there’s not a picture of your boobs on it.

Nesta’s eyes widen at that, not knowing why—or how—that would be an option. But she completely forgot about getting cake in all the unexpected hassle of their vacation, and not for the first time is she grateful that Azriel came along with them on their trip.

Typing back a quick thank you, Nesta clicks her phone off and curls further into Cassian’s warmth. He shifts on top of her, hugging her closer, and a moment later she feels his nose poking at the crook of her neck. “Good morning,” he murmurs thickly, sleep coating his voice.

“It’s six p.m,” she snickers. The sun slipped behind the mountains just a few minutes ago, leaving the room a blue dark.

Cassian responds by slipping his hands under her oversized tee, rubbing the muscles along her back. “Where’s everyone else?” They haven’t seen Gwyn, Emerie, or Az in hours.

Nesta turns around in Cassian’s arms to face him. “Consider them gone. We’re by ourselves for the rest of the night.”

He perks up at that. “Really?”

A knock sounds from the penthouse door, and Nesta remembers Azriel’s text. She squirms out from under Cassian’s weight with some difficulty and stands off the bed. She points a stern finger at him. “Don’t move from here,” she orders. “I’ll be back.”

Cassian leans back, looking questioning and amused, but Nesta has already jammed her feet into slippers and left the room by then.

She accepts the covered platter from room service at the door and leaves a tip, before carrying the cake over to the coffee table in the living area and setting it down. Within ten minutes, she has an entire setup arranged: the fireplace is up and roaring, the fur throw she stole from Cassian’s couch to bring on vacation is spread out before it, and the cake candles are lit. The Italian dinner that she ordered earlier also arrives by then, and once everything is laid out, she calls for Cassian to come downstairs.

He’s fully dressed in a sweater and jeans when he appears at the top of the short set of stairs, and he looks so excited to see her that he doesn’t notice the cake or the dinner until he’s only a few steps away from her. Very slowly, his smile freezes. “What’s all this?”

“It’s your birthday,” Nesta says. “Duh.”

“But I thought we already celebrated,” he stumbles, looking around. “With the skiing, and the bathtub—”

Nesta makes a face. “You thought that was celebrating?” She shakes her head and beckons Cassian over to the fur throw, right before the table decked out with food.

He sits down beside Nesta, looking over her in nothing but her thin white shirt. “Are you cold? Do you want my sweater?”

She rolls her eyes as far back as they can go. “No, I want you to focus and make a wish before 6:27.”

“How do you know my birth time?”

“Will you do it or not?” she threatens. The candle wax is melting onto the cake.

Cassian stares at her for a moment longer before finally facing the cake. Closing his eyes, he mouths something unintelligible and blows the candles out.

Nesta claps softly. “Happy two years away from thirty. What did you wish for?” She leans closer.

He leans away. “It doesn’t come true if you go around announcing it.”

Nesta’s shoulders drop. “Wishes aren’t real, Cassian.”

“That’s what you say.” He swipes a dollop of chocolate frosting off the cake with his finger and holds it out to Nesta.

Smiling, she wraps her lips around his finger, scraping the chocolate off with her teeth and licking it clean. He sucks on the same finger when she’s done, chasing after her taste and the lingering frosting. “What do you want first?” he asks. “Dinner or dessert?”

“This.” Nesta pulls out a small box from under the table, placing it in front of Cassian. She didn’t have time to find wrapping paper or a bag, but she’s a bit proud of herself anyway.

Cassian once again looks taken by surprise. “You didn’t have to…” He trails off as he reaches for the box. It’s already obvious what it is, but he still opens it carefully, hesitantly.

He stares at the silver watch for a little while and then looks back up at Nesta. “I…” He clears his throat.

“What do you think?” In all honesty, Nesta already knows. But she needs to hear it from him.

He meets her eyes. “It’s so…normal. Do you know what I mean?”

It’s the type of gift that Nesta’s mother would have given to her father, the type of gift that wives would give to their husbands. Not necessarily original or thoughtful, but domestic.

“Since you like to spend your time thinking about taxes and minivans and stuff,” Nesta says, remembering their last conversation about the future, “I thought you’d like something normal.”

Cassian laughs at that. He takes the watch out of the box and turns it over in the firelight, still a little dumbstruck. “I love it,” he says roughly.

Nesta kicks him in the knee. “It’s a watch, not an engagement ring.”

But he doesn’t hear a word, already clasping it onto his wrist.

***

Their last day at the resort starts early with Gwyn, Emerie, and Az banging on the suite door at five in the morning. Though Cassian is already up by then, Nesta snarls and snaps like a bitch at being dragged out of bed to watch the sunrise.

With everyone’s bags packed and waiting at the door, they all gather on the balcony connected to the suite in content silence. Azriel nurses a thermos of coffee that he refuses to share with Cassian, and Nesta is wrapped up in that fur throw she loves, half-asleep against Emerie.

When the sky starts lightening, Cassian pulls Nesta away from Emerie and into his body. “You’re gonna miss it,” he murmurs onto the top of her head.

She blinks awake, looking out at the sky slowly being streaked with a dozen colors. From here, the view over the mountains and the quiet town some miles beneath the resort is breathtaking. Easily better than any sunrise Cassian could have shared with Nesta back home.

It’s beautiful, and in that moment he decides he wants to see even more beautiful places than this with Nesta. Someday.

“Pretty,” she yawns, tilting her head back against his chest. Cassian feels guilty for keeping her up so late the night before, but he’s not ashamed of how she rests in his arms right now.

After the sun climbs past the lowest peak, the group of them slowly but surely come more alive. Emerie asks Az to go inside with her and do a final check before they leave, and Nesta shakes both the blanket and Cassian’s arms off herself.

“Some coffee will wake you up,” he promises her, leaving her outside in the dewy morning air with a kiss on the temple.

When Cassian returns to the balcony with two freshly brewed cups, he finds Gwyn and Nesta in deep conversation. “I never apologized for crashing your weekend,” Gwyn is saying.

“You don’t need to,” Nesta responds, watching the world wake up below her.

“Still,” Gwyn says, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “I acted out of character, didn’t I?”

Nesta turns to her then, the sun haloing her face, and the look of understanding she wears makes Cassian take a step back inside.

“He does that to me,” Gwyn goes on, looking lost as ever. “I don’t know why he does that to me.”

“First love will do that to anyone,” Nesta says.

This isn’t a conversation Cassian should be overhearing, he realizes. Turning around with his coffees, he goes to find Emerie and Azriel instead.

In the living area, Emerie realizes at the last minute that she’s missing her phone charger. By the time she finds it, Nesta and Gwyn have rejoined the group.

Cassian hands Nesta her still-warm coffee with a warmer smile. “You ready to get out of here?”

“Hell yes, baby.” She slings an arm around his waist.

They barely make it to the resort lobby before Azriel and Gwyn start arguing over which route to take home.

“Why would you add an extra hour to your trip for no reason?” Azriel is saying.

“It’s none of your business!” Gwyn retorts.

“She’s scared of highways,” Emerie inserts.

While they bicker on the way to check out, Cassian finds Nesta’s hand and runs a finger down her palm. “Hey, Nes?”

“Hm?” She looks up at him.

He curls his fingers around hers. “Thank you for doing this.”

***

a/n: i cant keep posting chapters right before i sit down to cry in front of kdramas

tagging: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @frosted-crackers @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog @arinbelle @ladygabrielli1997 @meridainthedisneyland @moodymelanist @pixieelea

[thequeenb]

Poppy x MC

Here to do lord's work

I walk towards the Zeta building and a million thoughts are racing through my mind. I hold Poppy's prescription pills on one hand and with my other i erase the post i was about to upload on T. No matter how much she irritates me medication is no joke.

I sigh as i put my phone away ready to drop the bag at the door but then a thought hits me, why don't i pay Queen B a visit myself? I hate how we left things earlier so i hope this makes up for it.

As i enter the first thing that i notice is how empty the building actually is. All the sorority girls are still out there trying to find the fake Gucci offer, how charming. Veronica is nowhere to be found so i sneak in running through the stairs. Ah these heels dont help at all, damn you and your expensive shinny marble floor

I finally got upstairs and i glance around trying to find the most dramatically decorated room. If i were Poppy where would i be? Aaaand aha! Of course its the biggest one here. I roll my eyes trying to approach silently even though i am failing completely

Should i knock? Do i just leave the bag here and leave? Its never to late to back down Bea. I sigh overthinking every possibility, that until the door opens wide and there she is staring directly into my eyes

"What the hell are you doing here??" Her eyes level on the medicine that i am holding and she quickly snatches it off my hands

"Where did you find this??"

"Wow relax, one question at a time" i smile at her but she is the opposite of amused

"Where is this useless imbecile i swear i will tear every stupid card that she owns" ok i think i just made the situation worse she is changing colours very fast

"Can i come in?" I lean against the door looking down at her suggestively. I love the height difference really, it makes her look so cute when she gets mad at me

"And why would i let you in? Not even Chloe gets to see my bedroom, in fact get your irritating ass out of my home" she looks at the bag on her hands and sigh

"I happened to bump into Taylor at Froyo and i decided to give her a hand, your dry cleaning is back breaking" i roll my eyes and i can see some of her walls melting down

"Now that you have done your charity you can leave" she is about to slam the door at my face but i am quick to place my foot between and stop it

"First of all ouch, second of all i smell cookies, i think i deserve one since i got out of my way for you" i wink at her and i can see the hesitation in her movements

"Oh please do you actually think that i am stupid? I know your strategy"

"Do you? Care to talk me through it?" I smirk leaning closer "i just want a cookie"

She massages her temples clearly annoyed "God stop talking, if i give you one will you just disappear?"

"Depends..do you want me to disappear?"

She walks back inside to get me one and i take a quick glimpse of her room. Surprisingly her room is simpler than i thought. Nothing cheap but nothing too expensive, except this giant closet full of designer clothes

She comes back with the cookie and a napkin "Here you go doggo, now shoo" she waves her hands dismissively and i reach to take them from her hands. For just a brief second our hands touch and i can feel the electricity run down my spine, Oh wow.

I dare to look directly into her eyes and i now notice how close we are. She still hasn't let me in but i can see how her mind runs ten miles per minute

"Did you make these?" I ask taking a good bite from the cookie. Its soft and it smells heavenly, the chocolate runs down my lip and i am unable to control my urge to groan

"Oh wow these are the best cookies i ever had" i lick my lips trying to get the chocolate off my face and i can clearly see how Poppy is looking down at them. I bite it just to give her a little show and she starts laughing

I raise an eyebrow in suspicion "What?"

She doesn't answer as she place a perfectly manicured hand over her mouth to laugh freely. To be honest i am not complaining, its the first time i hear her laugh and its more gentle and melodic than i expected it to be

"Oh no did you just poison me?" I dramatically touch my chest laughing with her

"Your face is a mess you pig" even though she uses harsh words her smile says the opposite and so i let her have it this time

"Oh really? Where?" I lick my lips again and she grabs the napkin from my hand as she rolls her eyes

"Here stupid" she tiptoes leaning her body against mine. For a moment i forget how to breathe as i watch her cleaning my face. She stares at me for a second before clearing her throat pushing me back

"You can't avoid failure do you?"

"Stop avoid my question, did you make these?" I cross my arms amused

I can see her battling with her own self. There is something different about Poppy when we are alone, i can see some of her walls melting and all that caused by my presence, score!

"Yes i did now can you shut up and leave? You got what you wanted" she wants to come out as irritated but i can see the amusement on her look

"I didn't get what i wanted" i lower my stare at her lips and she follows my gaze

"And what's that?" I can hear the challenge in her voice and without saying another word i lean in and i pause one breath away from her lips

I can feel the heat her body radiating and even though its impossible i swear i can hear her heart beating like crazy "Can i kiss you?"

Poppy swallows hard and i can practically hear it. Respecting her space i back away a little bit disappointed. But before i can think twice she pulls me close capturing my lips with a breathtaking kiss

At first i make a surprised noise but then without missing a beat i welcome her tongue with mine as i press her against the door. She places her hands around my neck dragging me inside her room

"Are you sure?" I ask breathless looking lovingly at her

"Shut up and kiss me Hughes" she pulls me against her once more but this time her kisses become more needy and passionate

I place my knee between her legs as i pin her hands effortlessly above her head. "Stay still" my voice is hoarse and i gain a groan out of her

"If you make a sound.." i bite her lip in warning and i can feel her knees weakening "i will not be gentle"

I kiss her jawline then her neck and i bite it hard making her moan, arching against me "and if you are a good girl i might reward you"

"Touch me"

Did she really think i will give her what she needs? You are adorable Pops. I tug her shirt off and her pants join the floor soon enough. Taking a step back i enjoy the sight of her being completely at my mercy

"I have been imagining this ever since i laid eyes on you" i tuck a lock of hair behind her ear kissing her temple. She practically melts with the amount of affection that i give her making wonder how badly she have been treated

I grab a handful of her hair tugging her head back slowly. It gives me more access to her neck and i run my tongue from her throat to her ear sucking the sensitive skin underneath it. Poppy moans loudly her voice filled with need

"Please touch me"

I smirk and this time i give her what she wants. I sink to my knees opening her legs wide. I tease her giving her sweet kisses on the inside of her thighs until i finally touch her where she wants me the most

"Look at how much you want me" i whisper against her and she shudders trying to hold onto the wall for support

Smiling i lock eyes with her as i taste her and god she tastes amazing. I might have been imagining this once or twice since i got here but having her actually at my mercy is absolutely beautiful

Her moans fill the room and i can feel her legs trembling. She places one of her hands on my hair pulling me more closer even if its impossible. I get lost in her scent and her melodic voice screaming my name that i unconsciously place my hand beneath my dress

"Oh Bea fuck..i am going to--" but she never finishes her sentence as we both shudder, the wave of ecstasy taking over us both

We take a minute collecting our breaths and i she sinks to the floor next to me. Her expression is changed, not the bitchy one she wears when everyone is around but i think i can see a glimpse of the genuine Poppy

"I knew you liked me" i say laughing fixing my hair

She gives me a 'i will murder you but you are to precious' look and i laugh even more, happy that she is finally real with me

"Never mention this" she gestures between us "ever again"

"Yes m'am" i say smiling and surprisingly she does too standing up, picking up her clothes off the floor

"You should leave before they come back from your fake Gucci offer"

"Ah so you are smart, maybe my plan was to get you all alone after all" i wink at her as she rolls her eyes

Before i leave the room she pulls me against her for a quick kiss "Thank you for bringing this to me"

"Anytime my dear enemy" she shoves me out of the room and i laugh walking away.

For the first time since i got here i feel like there is some form of hope. I know everyone sees Poppy as this scary diva who will ruin your life but i know now that what we have is special.

Tag list: @lolimugly @origmansello @greatestflirt-hero @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @sugarplumpnhoneybun @princessstellaris @coldbatfriendroad @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @ghalind @sergeant-pepper-loves-choices @dibberdipper @justastranger-passing @nydeiri

[susan-gampre]

"Innocent? Guilty? We're all sinners in the end."

Asked someone to marry you? A roll of her eyes was the perfect start to this interview. Already Susan knew these questions woild be not inly trifling, but pointless.

"Never," she murmurs, her fingers gently adjusting the garter clips attached to her black stockings, "I'm a woman to be worshipped, not one to beg."

Kissed one of your friends? Susan nods, "Quite often. Always making the best memories in that brothel, you know."

Danced on a table in a bar / tavern? "Performing is a passion which I do not get to pursue any longer, given the current state.of being. Eventually I'll return to the pole. If only for a fun night once in a while."

Ever told a lie? Smiling deviously she'd shrug her shoulders, "Little lies never hurt once in a while."

Had feelings for someone you can’t have? The answer would take moment to develop, her mind whirling with the decision to be honest or tell the inquirer where they could shove it. Alas...

"Once... But I learned my place quickly. Now I know when I have a chance and when i dont."

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? "Plenty. Infact the better kissers Ive experienced were women."

Kissed a picture? Susan blinks slowly, her brows furrowing as she challenges the inquirer, "Do I look quite so pathetic?"

Slept until 5pm? "Not lately. Ive been... Gettimg relatively reasonable rests. Waking at reasomable hours these days, it's a strange experience... Roodter crows actually rouse me with ease."

Worked at a fast food chain / restaurant? "The brothel is all Ive known," Susan remarks firmly.

Stolen something? Slowly Susan smiles, shaking her head before gesturing the inquirer to move along the questions.

Been fired from a job? "Ive been at this Brothel since I was eleven. Before that my only job was protecting my siblings. I managed well, and.I guarantee this is the utmost stable of jobs. I don't see myself leaving any time soon."

Done something you regret? Melancholic innexpression the Madam begins to twisdle her thumbs, eyes dropping to her hands, "... Plenty of things. Ones I would change, if I had the ability to go back into time. Alas.... I must live with them."

Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose? Slowly her lips perked into a genuine smile, having gained a far off stare, "Ive been made to laugh that hard, yes... Only once. By a very special person."

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? "Even as a child I wasn't that childish."

Sat on a roof top? "Indeed. At the original Sisters im Sin location... Beautiful views and the stars made it quite the safe haven."

Kissed someone you shouldn’t have? "Plenty of times."

Sang in the shower? "Once when I was a girl. I learned quickly I couldnt sing and never tried since."

Been pushed into a body of water with all your clothes on? Susan scowls at the flash back, her skin momentarily crawling and tingling in discomfort as a sharp painful chill ran down her spine... Familar to the frigid cold water engulfing her tiny child body when she was twelve...

"Children can be cruel," she murmurs, this being her only answer.

Shaved your head? “It wouldn't look well on me, I'm certain."

Made a boyfriend / girlfriend cry? With a pointed glare she mutters, clearly displeased by this question, "Unfortunately so."

Shot a gun? “More than once," she smiles.

Still loved someone you shouldn’t? “Never," she spoke firmly, quick to move the questions along.

Have / had a tattoo? "Well I have plenty more than those visible here," she confesses, her fingers picking at the immodest spaghetti strap v neck dress exposing all of her tattoos, soon to flash the inquirer an impish smile as she coos tauntingly, "Care to see them all?"

Liked someone, but will never tell who? — Susan rolls her eyes before gesturing with her hand to move along with the questions, remarking harshly, "Not everyone is entitled to my opinions on someone."

Been too honest? “Honesty is invaluable. If one cannot handle the truth, that is there problem. Not mine."

Ruined a surprise? Susan smiles impishly, shaking her head, "I love the suspense. I'll keep it in unless its life threatening."

Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? With a roll of her eyes, a.scoff and a sneer the woman gestures to herself, offering an incredulous and arrogant tone, "Look at me, dear... Am I not a vision of appeal? Of course Ive had admirers admit to me their thoughts of my beauty.”

Stalked someone? Susan shook her head, sneering, "I have better things to do."

Thoughts about murder? "You can meet some twisted minds in a brothel. Ones that dont deserve the life they have, ones who should be erradicated from existence," and with that firm, confident remark to be digested Susan fell into a silence.

How about mass murder? With a perk of her brow Susan could answer honestly: "That seems excessive. One at a time builds the suspense, dont you think?"

Cheated on someone? Slowly the Madam nods her head, her eyes floating to her lap for a moment, soon to straighten and explaim, "When I was young and angry, yes. Now I respect love, even when others could not respect me. It's not worth repeating that cycle and hurting others with something as scummy as unfaithfulness."

Gotten so angry that you cried? Susan's jaw clenched, her smile grown tight, "... When I was younger perhaps. I was an emotional child, but I grew hard skin quickly. One must in this enviorment."

Tried to stay away from someone for their own good? Slowly the Madams already small smile finally fell. Her expressiom was solemn as she remarks, "I have a habit of sabotaging my own happiness, yes.

Thoughts about suicide? Her eyes fell then, she hasn't the will to hold a stare with such a sensitive topic at hand.

"Often do I. I remember thinking it cowardice... And natural," she clears her throat.

Had a girlfriend / boyfriend? With a blank stare the maiden refrains from snapping the individuals head off for such a superficial and tidious query, "... Plenty, yes. Such is the advantage of the pretty whore. Everyone wants her for a trophy; Or out of pity. Rare is true love," though there was a sparkle of longing in her eye... Perhaps even she has tasted that rare kind of love.

Gotten totally drunk during a holiday? With a small smile the woman ends the questionnaire with a:

"With a family like mine, alcohol makes it easier dealing with them."

Tagged By: @safrona-shadowsun @unabashedrebel

Tagging: Literally anyone who hasn't and wants to!

[sseroxy]

Can You Forgive a Monster

Good ol Cass x Lance fanfic/fluff/angst

Takes place after season 3 and what I believe happens.

Warning for blood and injuries

--

It's finally over. Years of working with new friends and the final product was a nearly destroyed Corona, a town of injuried civillains, almost 10 casualties, a broken princess of light and prince of Dark, friends hurt and beaten up, but most importantly, a warlock who's only remain in this world is a single horn. Zhan Tiri had beeb defeated at last with the power of the Sundrop within Rapunzel, the Moonstone with Cassandra, the faith within Eugene, and the scientific magic within Varian. A great battle between friends and foes. The most painful battle for everyone; having their own friends fighting them, Zhan Tiri leading them in bloody rage.

Finally, all are settling down, only a day after this war. The wounded are being tended to, those capable are cleaning up rubble where houses and shops once stood. Some lost more than others, whether if be a person, thing, or body part. But I was okay now. Rapunzel had lost her hair, Cass lost the Moonstone and the bloodlust that came with it. Those powers were back in the Heavens where they belong, restoring balance.

Quirin had been freed at last, his note holding a final goodbye that won't come for another 20 years. Varian had been redeemed and has been working with Xavier since, allowing him to help in the war. Xavier decided to keep Zhan's horn as a reminder but also for any spells or experiments. The Brotherhood had been reunited, and after it all, Eugene had found his family in Corona and the Dark Kingdom. The Dark Kingdom had decided to make an alliance meeting with Corona, one that took place today. All knew it was a sure agreement.

While all were getting their lives back to normal-or what they wished to be normal-an incredibly injured Cassandra laid on her bed, resting off the day before. When she opened her eyes, they looked around and met with three others in the room. Rapunzel smiled greatly, pulling her friend into a large bear hug, gaining a painful grunt from Cass. She pulled back, offering space. Cass looked her up and down, saddened by the scene. Rapunzel had lost her golden locks for her natural brown, short hair, and her leg was in a cast as she held herself up with a crutch. Her face and arms were covered in bruises and cuts; she knew where they were from.

" I'm so..so sorry.."

She let out a whisper, regret showing it's face within her voice. She looked down, remembering it all. Everything she did. She had every intention to use that stone for glory, to take it, to finally take what she worked so hard for. This was never what she wanted. She not only hurt her friends, but was at the mercy of that thing. That twisted creature of magic that wanted nothing more than to use her to destroy everything.

" This is all my fault.. I let him get to him..i let him hurt you.. I hurt you."

Her brows pushed together as she tried to keep the water of her eyes From pouring. She clenched her teeth and her fist. Her left fist. She looked at her right arm to see it was gone up to her elbow. Exactly where her burn was. That painful reminder of her first dip into pain and madness and it was just gone. She moved it up anf down, feeling nothing but a sting in it's end.

" Careful. It's still healing."

Eugene put a hand on her injury. She cringed at what happened to him. The left side of his face was covered in bloody bandages and his right side as well. The flashback struck her; cutting his eye and stabbing his side with the rocks. She looked at Lance, who had bloody bandages around his head and his arm in a sling. He wasn't hurt as badly as Eugene or Rapunzel. She went easy on him; as if she even had a choice.

" It's okay, Cass. It wasn't you."

Rapunzel sat next to her, a small smile from her lips gave a warm, but disgusting feeling to Cass' heart.

" It was, though. I chose to grab the Moonstone. I chose to listen to..him."

She looked away, her teeth clenching harder. Rapunzel took her hand.

" Yes, those were choices you made, and I really wish you didn't, but you had your reasons. And you didn't want to hurt us, that was Zhan Tiri. You were in a bad place and I should have been paying more attention to it like I should have with Varian. It's over, though. It's all okay now."

She hugged her, that disgusting warmth again. A warmth she hated because it was no longer innocent. It was built on hurt, guilt, and betrayal. How was Rapunzel so happy after it all? She wanted to be happy.

" I'm mad about the whole thing; especially with you ruining this beautiful face and my own," Eugene motioned at Rapunzel and himself, " But I think we'll all get over it. Though I'm not too sure about the Brotherhood or my father, they might not be so quick."

He laughed slightly, then proceeded to mess up her already bedhead hair, to which she pulled away slightly.

" Hey, uh, can I talk to her for a moment?" Lance spoke up with a small voice. Eugene and Rapunzel looked at each other, slightly surprised, but nodded. Once they were gone, Lance sat on the bed next to Cass. He sighed.

" I'm so-"

" Don't." Lance cut her off. She was taken aback slightly at this, " I get it." He looked at the floor, " You feel bad for everything you did, heck i would too, what you did was really terrible." Cass' eyes darted, " But it doesn't mean you're terrible."

Cass held what was left of her arm. " What are you getting at?"

" You're a good person, Cassandra." He stated, " You have so much going for you; physically, emotionally, even your personality. You have so much inside you and you wanted people to notice it. And we do."

" What are you talking about?"

" I have seen and noticed everything. Even when you though no one was seeing you, I was watching. I learned so much from you. You taught me how to be stronger, fearless, and helped turn me around from my life of crime."

He laughed slightly, " Even when you knocked me on my butt, i still looked up to you."

The silence took the room once more. It was like an awkward silence. Cass sat motionless besides her slight shaking from trauma. She shook her head.

" You..look up to me? Why"

Lance looked at her, holding a sort of kicked puppy expression.

" Because you are.."

He choked on his words, thinking to himself if he should tell her how he felt. What he's been wanting to say for a long time.

" I..have a thing for strong women."

He smiled slightly, hoping she'd get the hint. She scoffed.

" You want help with Adira or something?"

Lance jumped up, his body full of what he wants to say.

" IT'S YOU!"

He yelled. Cass slightly jumped at his sudden tone. When he saw her uncomfortable gaze of confusion and slight fear, he sofftened.

" It's you, Cass. I..I like you."

Cassandra looked at the large man presenting his love to her. She couldn't react. Was this the right time? Was she ready for this? Didn't he like Adira?

" Lance, I-I..i don't"

Lance let his shoulders drop.

" You dont feel the same- GAH! I knew I shouldn't have said anything, after everything you're not ready for this and should have known better,"

Lance walked around the room, his hands on his face.

" I shouldn't have said anything. Just pretend I didn't."

" Lance.."

Cass got out of the bed, her feet touching the cold floor beneath them. She too Lances hand with her left.

" Now wouldn't have been the best time, but since we're being open..I do too."

She looked down, then back to make eye contact with the lovestruck thief before her. He started to smile.

" How long?" He asked.

" Since the island."

The room seemed to feel hotter and the air tasted sweet. Almost too sweet to breathe. Lance, with tears, opened his arms slightly, to which Cass leaned in. The embrace was at first one sided, as Lance hugged Cass, but he felt her arm wrap around his large middle, sniffling being heard as she started shaking. He felt his eyes drip their usual tears.

Why was this so hard? Why was this so painful? Is it because of the war? Was it that they dont feel they'd make it together? These questions buzzed in both of their minds. Though, Cass had another thing on her mind.

" How can you forgive me?"

She sniffed, her arm burning along with her chest. A flashback took her mind with surprise.

" Cass, what are you doing?!" Rapunzel screamed in horror at the sight of her best friend become the host of the Moonstone.

" Taking my destiny." She said before forcing the black rocks to attack her once beloved friends.

Her eyes snapped open from the memory.

" After everything I did.."

Lance held the small woman tightly.

" I hurt you."

-She felt the tear of flesh as she cut Lances head with a black rock protruding from her arm like Hectors blades. This wasn't her. She didn't do this. She didnt want to do this. Lances cries of pain as he fell back shook her core. She wanted to stop, why couldnt she stop? She recoiled, but felt her head burn with her arm. The vines on her neck and arms were unable to be seen by anyone but her. Gripping her head, her eyes glowed blue and green as she fought. She couldn't stop him.-

" I almost hurt everyone."

-A burning sesation from her chest made her scream out in agony. Zhan Tiri tore the power out of her very soul in front of everyone. They all looked on in horror, Rapunzel trying to stop him. "STOP!!" She cried. He finally tore the Moonstone from her chest and-

" I was a monster."

-He dropped her body, the group rushing to catch her. She wasn't dead yet. Her arm was shown to be useless again, much worse this time. Her color drained but her hair remained blue. The Black Rocks that took place of clothes were scattered along her body, some still embedded as her actual skin. Zhan Tiri consumed the stone but he never would have guessed-

" You're not a monster, Cass. You never were."

-"You can't expect them to hand your destiny over after all of this can you? You have to take it." The creature behind the door had a point. It showed her everything she's worked for and had taken away. Her glory, her dignity, her arm." The Moonstone is meant to be yours."-

" You weren't yourself."

-" I can fix you, just listen..and obey."-

" You cant think that for a second, okay?"

-The finale surged as the scroll revealed how to use the power. Cass still had the Moonstones energy inside. Even if it killed her, shed fix this. Rapunzel held her hand along with Eugenes and Varian activated his machine. This was it.-

" And I want you to realize that I will never see you as a monster. Trust me, ive done terrible things too, but you stuck with me, didnt you?"

Lance tore apart from the hug, putting his hands on Cass' shoulders, keeping eye contact.

" We're in this together, whether as a team or-"

His sentence was broken by a kiss. Cass brought his head to hers with her hand, and even though Lance was big and strong, even if he wanted to he wouldnt be able to break her grip. He didnt want to, though, and instead embraced this moment. It was warm. Not disgusting anymore. The disgust was from thinking she didn't deserve the warmth except from the burning of her arm. This was different. It was nice. Needed. For both of them. It felt like eternity until they broke their lips, yet they wish it would've lasted longer. They looked into each other's eyes, tears staining their faces.

" Better?"

Lance asked. Cass chuckled slightly, hugging him.

" Yeah..better."

[comeondowntosouthparkrpg-blog]

Lola Thomas

Will she friend us on Facebook yet? Lola has been accepted! Send in your blog and faceclaim!

out of character info

Name/Alias: lexi (yeah im gonna try this again because looks like the negativity is GONE. BLESS.)

Pronouns: she/her

Age: 18

Join Our Discord: Yeaaaah

Timezone: central

Activity: 7 ( i do work so activity will prolly bump before 2pm and after 8pm lmao )

Triggers: nada

Password: jimmy can fast pass my ass ;))

Character that you’re applying for: Lola Thomas

Favourite ships for your character: going in this with a clean slate so try and give me a favorite ship? ’,:)

in character info

Full name: Lola Diane Thomas

Birthday: May 20th.

Sexuality, gender, pronouns: pansexual, female, she/her

Age and grade: 16 (almost 17) && senior.

Faceclaim: Taylor Hill

Appearance:

Head: Lola is what you call a tall glass of water. She’s refreshingly attractive. Her eyes are neither blue or green but a weird combination of the two colors, making them pop against her naturally darkened complexion. Her hair is soft and wavy and like to tangle near the ends by the time Lola is out of school and on the way to work. It’s color likes to change with the rare sunlight, meaning if she is outside in the sun all day every day natural highlights will appear in her honey chestnut tresses. Her nose is like a little button that deserves to be booped constantly. Her lips are full and plump- to that she owes genetics. Lola believes it is her only good trait.

Body: A natural looker. She stands at about 5'8, so be prepared if you’re tiny. She will tower you with her legs for DAYS.  She doesn’t have particularly large assets but they are there. And it’s a nice handful on either side of the equator. You just gotta look for them behind her non-stop barrage of sweaters. She likes to say she has a white girl booty- its cute && snooty. Her shoulders and cheeks are very, very, lightly dusted in freckles you can only see in the winter. Despiter her tall figure, Lola is NOT a bean pole, she’s slim thicccc weighing about 145 pounds and it’s not in her face.

Style: Lola dresses like she lives in Goodwill, trendy and thrifty. She would kill for knee socks and button up blouses. She aims to look like ‘The classic look of a teenager in the 90’s’. Her shoes will never don a heel for she believes she is 'too tall’ for them. She likes to keep a mellow color scheme for all her clothing items. Tan, green, white. Sometimes she looks like the first instagram post you see tagged * v i n t a g e. *

Personality: 

First off let’s get this straight, with Lola it’s not a personality but more of how she adopts a personality to fit each social clique she is suckered into that day. If you dig deeep deeeeeep down pass the meme references and pop culture shout outs- she’s awfully shy and hates making the first move in ANY kind of situation. She is sympathetic to most of the problems she hears- other than relationship ones. What’s a feeling for someone else other than your cat? She doesn’t get it. Skittish doesn’t even cover how much of a fraidy cat she is.. One little boo when she’s not expecting it is enough to get Lola to shriek and jump three feet into the air. She does have a nuturing instinct, finding it rather difficult to see anyone lonely or upset.

Once you get to know Lola, she is a sweetheart with a soul of gold. She would freeze in the frigid temperatures to keep her friend warm. She’s the girl who will sneak you into her house so you dont have to go home if you’re scared too or can’t. She is quite snarky however- as if a dam broke and every witty thought ever spun in her head rushes out. Once you get her talking about something she is personally interested in, good luck shutting her up. Lola is also a very superstitious person. Never one too step on a crack or split a pole. Her biggest quirk would have to be her need for reassurance that her jokes are funny. She thinks of herself as a comedian but is already sure everyone thinks she is trying too hard. She is a rather dull girl on the outside, moody and solemn. But if you can crack into her cold shell there’s an ooey gooey sweetness inside. Lola is often easily upset- movies to road kill make her tear up. Anytime she even gets mad the salry reminders if her lameness well up in her eyes. And that only pisses her off more.

Despite having a cool exterior she can and will snap- just push the right buttons. 

History:

Lola wouldnt deem herself an outcast yet she would always feel that way. Whether she was cheering with the girls or writing lists with Jenny, her feelings were uncontrollable. Her anxiety makes it impossible to determine if someone is being nice to her or if they have a plot to harm her. In middle school, Lola secretly dreamt of becoming a goth kid- going as far as painting her nails black for two years. But her fears never made her set out to do it. Plus everyone was a little then so isn’t that technically confirming? Her school work was the only thing Lola was ever certain in. Work was easy, you couldn’t fuck it up by being a complete oddball. It was practically memorization. After starting high school, Lola was practically a wallflower. Hell she was the wall and the flower all wrapped in one. She dropped every friendship and dedicated herself to her studies and her pets. After she got a job she was allowed to have them finally and her fur babies were the only things she cared about truly and deeply. For they could never hate their mother.

Things were always tough for Lola, socially or economically, but that didn’t mean her childhood sucked. It just meant instead of a Barbie dreamhouse for Christmas she got the summer edition Barbie. Not a house. Just the doll. Jealousy is an emotion often clouding her anxieties and judgement on people. It caused her to lose her best friend since.. Well, as long as she could remember. Lola grew jealous and almost possessive over Jenny. She probably didn’t mean too but when she saw Jenny getting along with people when she couldnt caused a burning rage to settle in her chest. It got so bad Lola didnt even speak to anyone for a week before blowing up and ruining her only real friendship.

Just because she looks innocent doesn’t mean the brunette is. There are probably a few flat tires and keyed cars residing in South Park that are Lola’s own doing. Not to mention she is a total bystander. You wanna skip school? Cool, yeah I’ll watch for a teacher. You wanna smoke pot in the bathroom? It’s all good as long as she gets a hit. These are all childish 'bad behaviors’ but as Lola sees it, there’s no point in trying that hard to be bad. After all the one time she tried it, the poor thing almost died from hypothermia after blindly listening to a slumber party dare.

You aren’t supposed to sneak out in slumber parties. Or streak in Wal-Mart. Or jump of a bridge into negative temp waters. But these are all things Lola did too prove she was cool. And it ended up with her grounded, being hospitalised for pneumonia, and gaining a large fear of heights. And a hatred for party games.

Sample paragraph:

Of course, it was another cold blustery day. Chestnut tresses fluttered in front of her sight along the whole way home, it didn’t matter how many times she forcefully blew the bangs out of her face- they always flopped back down. Numbing fingers clutched tighter to the soft cloth lining of her jacket pockets. The index fingers and thumbs of both hands pinching at the materiel. Gosh- why is it always freezing? Dull orbs flittered around the blank scenery of the all too familiar path from her house to the school. The only sounds Lola could hear were the crunching of her flats against the snow and the wind whipping furiously around her. Boring. It was all white and boring. Lola was tired of being bored. She imagined that would be the only feeling she could muster for the rest of her life and it made the corners of her glossed lips tug down.

She shook her head as if to clear the thoughts instantly, humming a tune to distract herself as she continued on her trek.

One step, two step, three step…

…Sixteenth step-

Lola really needed a friend. A small sigh lifted her chest and as it billowed past her mouth she noticed movement in her peripherals. Was she really looking down this whole time like an idiot? How embarrassing! She clenched her hands into fists, further rumpling the jacket from its own pockets. Avoiding any kind of eye contact she swayed over to the side near the street and hurried her steps along. Too fast to count now. She passed the figure and her hands slowly unfurled. The blood rushing to her digits made them quite warm and her face flushed as well. God she was awkard.

Just as she thought she was in the clear, Lola felt a tap on her shoulder and her heart stuttered in its cavity as she stumbled to a stop. Fuck.

Headcanons:

🌟 owns a bike but rarely rides it.

🌟 has one cat- a black kitten named sparrow.

🌟 also two rats- yin and yang which are little chocolate colored sisters.

🌟 3.8 GPA

🌟 wants to learn french

🌟 owns a polaroid camera kinda girl

🌟 gardens in her free time

Anything else:

Im really insecure so if it takes me time to reply its cuz im demeaning myself and my baby and my words. 

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

I am not my insecurities reflection- a truthful based oneshot

IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE PLEASE READ

Ok, this will be a long author’s note but please bare with me as this is very important for you to understand this oneshot. For some context here because I havent posted alot about her yet, this is a oneshot about my Dc oc Gracie Lucio, set kinda in the same universe(i guess) of the teen titans judas contract movie( with Damian as robin) and its a oneshot written partly out of a vent of my own body image issues and partly out of an expression of how I’ve learned to look past said issues slowly.

But this gets very angsty until the end

Now to give a bit more context for the piece itself. The oc herself, Gracie Lucio( because I havent posted any art of her yet) for the reader’s understanding, she is not human, she is a werewolf(it feeds into her story so dont get me started on it alot of research went into this aspect of her character and it plays into her body issues)and body wise looks similar to Dick in the first season of Young Justice. Shes a naturally thin figured , broader shouldered girl who could( if she really wanted to) pass as a feminine boy with short jaw/ barely chin length hair( think of a thick messy longish pixie cut of dark hair). So shes naturally lean and lanky and a little underdeveloped for a 13 year old girl and as a heroine she has toned muscles from years of hero work. Most wouldnt see her having too many insecurities about her body image and appearance, but in truth shes riddled with them. She ages a bit differently than humans, it takes her body longer to develop and even then in some areas it develops differently all together. She struggles to gain any extra weight or build up natural feminine curves, something she wants. She WANTS to look like other girls her age, with more developed and heavier bodies, with curves and more weight and an actual figure. But with a supernaturally high metabolism added on top of a already genetic based thin figure and a intense and sometimes rigorous training and workout routine plus her work as a heroine gives no leeway to gain really any extra weight, its always worked off one way or another. And this causes...comments to be made about why she looks that way by civilians. and though she never shows it publicly  she takes many of these, usually not flattering and sometimes cruel and rude, comments to heart(much like I used to unfortunately) and it worsens her negative feelings. This is a small story of her seeing those problems and issues and trying to face and overcome them. This is more centered around Gracie and Dick and Jason and their platonic and sibling like relationship as they help her through her darker times( again, this is partly me expressing my own personal struggles with body image (which arent the exact same as the character but the language and the comments are very similar)and partly how those two helped inspire me to have more confidence in my body no matter what I look like) and also a deeper peek into her complex relationship with Damian(but thats not the biggest focus) Sorry this was so long I mightve info-dumped a little but its important to understand the story. I hope you guys enjoy?

This is also told in Gracie’s point of view

This will cover some pretty deep kinda issues like body image problems and over eating and weight loss/gain and mentions of eating disorders without really discussing them and bullying so if that upsets you in any way now is the best time to scroll past for your own sake, I dont want you to upset yourself over my crappy emotional writing

I do not look that bad.

That’s what I have to force my mind to accept as I look into the mirror, meeting my own aqua green eyes hesitantly.

I always hated looking in the mirror lately, especially after training or after bathing, like now as I stood in the middle of my room in a slightly loose training type sports bra and spandex shorts. I don’t even want to glance down at my body, out of fear for seeing the same thing I always do.

‘She so skinny...is she eating right’

‘She needs to eat more and gain some weight’

‘what a twig for a superhero’

‘how have bad guys not snapped her in half? Jesus Christ I could probably break her with a sneeze!’

‘What a bad influence shes setting for young girls with such an thin figure!’

‘I think He needs to eat more Christ that poor boy must be starving! Why isn’t Nightwing feeding him more’

The flashes of comments flooded my mind the moment my eyes flickered down to the rest of me. To my thin, unfeminine figure. My underdeveloped and flat birdcage of a chest. To my lanky, toned, too flat stomach. The pinched waist figure. The flat empty expanse I called hips that blended too well into my too dainty looking bony legs. I looked too fucking skinny. And maybe they were right...as a hero I was a role model to those younger than me, and I promoted a Bad Body Image for girls to idolize with my lanky boy figure.

And it was a horrible body type I had no goddamn control over.

My species was not an easy one to live as, especially not intermingled with humans. The team knew, the team understood, but the rest of the world didn’t. As a lupinotuum pectinem, or lycanthrope which in easy translation is simply “Werewolf”, my whole body inner workings were different. Most of my kind were naturally lean and thin, like tall healthily thin model athlete body types and in general the females, even alpha females, were practically born twig like almost. And on top of that our bodies developed....differently. I was not raised by a pack or by my own kind after age 8, so even I didn’t know the full extent but females bodies took longer to grow and it made it very hard for them to gain weight because of the unnaturally high metabolism. Add being a superhero who once trained under a certain league member to the mix and you go from being the “healthy and admirable” type of skinny to the “unhealthy and concerning”type of skinny.

I hated it, and I hated my body. I hated pictures of me from the neck down, because they all looked the same no matter who they were with. And I saw the comments everyone made. Whether its a surprise photo Garfield took dragging me into the picture to commemorate something or another or me taking pictures around Gotham or Blüdhaven with Dick on the social media Gar helped me set up, or even the rare photos I’d get to take with Jason or Damian or Tim and get to post. Every time the flood of comments were the same. The same things I now repeated over and over as I looked over my body angrily.

OMG look at that poor girl is she ok??? She looks like she needs to be hospitalized!

Christ almighty BB isn’t it too early to be posing with skeletons?? LOL

Dude not funny that girl must be anorexic or something.

Such a cute sibling couple but sweetie you need a fast food break to add some fat to those bones!

Fuck kid go eat something instead of taking pictures

Awwww you two look real happy! I hope you’re on the way to lunch or something!

Holy shit your guy’s size difference is so vast its almost worrying

how are you even alive with that little weight

Go eat some junk food or something before you pass out

OMG look at her shes so small and stick like! Her clothes look like they’re hanging off a scarecrow!

That girl cannot be healthy tell me someone is making her eat more

Every time its always the same damn thing....

I couldn’t do it anymore. I turned away from the mirror nearly in disgust and went back to changing into more casual clothes, bitterly noting how my clothes did in fact seem to hang awkwardly on my body as if I was too thin for them to fit correctly. Like they always did lately.

Ew look at her she looks so gross all stick-like like that!

What a fucking twig of a girl! Are those her ribs poking through her shirt??

Bitch go eat a fucking hamburger you need some damn food in you.

God that weight cant be healthy you need a doctor!!

     “Kid? Yo kid you in there?” My head jerked up from the comments flooded screen of my phone to meet Jason’s eyes, catching the quirk of his eyebrow as he sat across the diner table from me. We were at a diner he favored whenever he came into town to visit, a little family owned treasure with delicious and greasy food and the sweetest staff on earth. We frequented the spot during his visits, our own personal little thing since we’d gotten closer. I plastered on a smile and ignored the slight narrow of those blue eyes, the small furrow of his brow got as I snapped off my phone and set it aside.

      “Sorry Jay, BB tagged me in something dorky and I got distracted. So what were you saying?”

He didn’t believe me, and I didn’t blame him. I wasn’t the most convincing at that moment but I kept that damn plastic smile on my face and snagged some of his curly fries right in his face, making him crack a smile and smack my hand away from his tray.

      “ Hands off my food, eat your own wolfie.” I rolled my eyes at the stupid nickname I’d been branded and let the plastic smile slowly be replaced by a more genuine one as we began chatting again, grabbing my over sized cheeseburger and finishing every last bite and moving onto the large fries and two milkshakes, hopelessly praying that maybe this time the calories would stick and trying to push away the comments to the back of my mind. I was with Jason and we were having a damn good time, and I wasn’t going to let those comments ruin his visit...not again.

You should be ashamed. All you’re doing is promoting bad eating habits looking like that.

You’re such a bad influence for young girls who idolize you with such a horribly unreachable appearance.

Shes too bony to ever be considered pretty

Does she have a eating disorder or something?

I stiffened instantly startled by a hand on my shoulder, turning off my phone  instinctively and making the endless comments disappear into darkness before whoever could see them over my shoulder. The hand was big, calloused, and gentle and I felt myself relax as I looked up behind me with a smile.

         “ Hey Dick, did you need something?” He smiled down at me with that big bright smile that made all the dark thoughts and feelings melt away and gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze, blue eyes meeting aqua green.

          “ Well I was wondering if you’re doin’ anything right now or if you’d want to go catch dinner with Kori, Dami, and I. I noticed that you’d skipped your usual early dinner....” I wasn’t surprised he noticed, he normally did...

Once again that smile plastered itself on my face as I told him I’d love to, and to just let me go get changed into something better. I saw his hesitation at the fake smile, practically smelled it on him and prayed he wouldn’t bring it up right now, god please don’t ask now or I might just break...

Maybe god is listening because he didn’t mention it and just told me to meet them by the front doors of the tower in ten.

How are you not dead yet?

Jesus Christ stop promoting your eating disorder like its a good thing!

She looks so sickly is she ok? :(

Yeah shes sick, sick in the damn head for posting such disgusting pro-Ana pictures

How can you post pictures with a clear conscience looking like that?

Some “superhero”

I was wrong, no god was listening to me.

Dinner was rough to get through, even if it didn’t start that way.

For once I didn’t have to worry or dread possibly checking my phone for anything, I turned it off by the time we got to the restaurant. I even got a small compliment from Damian on our way in, though it was more a snark at me not tripping up the stairs. But it was Damian so I snapped right back with a smile, knowing he didn’t really mean it. Sitting beside Dick and across from Damian, I nudged his foot with mine in a silent gesture to cheer up even a little. He huffed through his nose but I saw his body relax and it made me relax. Those moments before the food came, our chatter and soft laughter as we looked over the menu, and the soothing knowledge knowing that Dick pulled me and Damian along to this dinner so we would go out on a date ourselves, ever the best brother and wingman. The mood was light and pleasant and I could see even the ever sharp and moody Dami lighten up a little by the time we ordered. Maybe the mood shifted into something different as we waited for our food and I was sipping on my tall glass of iced cola, when Damian’s fingers casually brushed over the top of my unused hand that laid peacefully on the table. The gesture was subtle and light, quick enough to miss if your senses weren’t sharp. I didn’t acknowledge it and neither did he, a silent understanding that words would just ruin whatever this was. I accepted that happily, as he was much more engaged in the conversations and even smiling a little more during them as he debated with Kori on leading strategies. Things were pleasant, comforting at that table in those few seconds before the decline, Dick smiling and chuckling at his lover and little brother, Said lover and brother having a more upbeat discussion about different leadership styles and their effects, and lightly debating which work better for what. And Damian’s hand next to mine, ever so lightly brushing against it in his wordless way to say I was still there and at even the smallest twitch I’d have his attention again. Dick ruffled my hair and asked how my online courses were coming along, since I didn’t attend schools publicly and I was more than happy to babble about my classes, and my current work in them. It was nice and I was happy, all the horrible feelings from before draining away as I tuned everything else but these three out of my enhanced hearing. Why had I even felt so shitty when I had great people like them in my life?

Then I heard it as that damned supernatural hearing tuned back in to the rest of the world.

The words and whispers and mutters and the blatant gossip and bad mouthing.

“Look at that younger girl sitting at that table dear...shes so thin I think she should be in a hospital not a restaurant.”

“Ewww mom look that girl looks like a skeleton!”

“ Honey shush….”

“Is….is that girl ok?”

“Dude of course she isn’t just look at her shes unhealthy as fuck. Probably has some kind of eating disorder too or something.”

It all flooded over me and all of my happy mood washed away under the wave. I couldn’t tell if the others could hear them so I grit my teeth tried to tune it all back out, trying so hard to focus more on Kori’s explanation of her points. My hands began to curl up subconsciously, making Damian’s attention snap to me. Fuckin I….no, I cant tell him...I shouldn’t. I forced my hand to uncurl and that stupid smile sprawled across my lips as if someone had put tape over them. I saw his eyes narrow and near begged mentally for him to not say anything or for Dick to distract him...anything.

“Ahem….your meal.”

I have never more thankful to a waitress before in my life...until I saw the look she gave me as she placed my admittedly large order of food in front of me, something that was normally a platter for two people’s worth of beef and sides. I caught the judgmental and suspicious look she had glancing between me and my food and I felt shame burn all over, starting to hang my head to avoid that damn look.

“ If this is all our food then your job is done. Don’t you have OTHER tables to be serving?” Damian’s curt and sharp tone cut through the air and briefly through my shame. This waitress knew nothing about me and i certainly owned no one any explanations about my eating habits, so why was she hanging around giving me looks about my food…?

“ Damian don’t be so rude!” Dick cleared his throat and I felt his strong arm wrap protectively around my shoulder as he leaned close to the edge of the table while Kori’andr apologized for Damian’s attitude vaguely. But I could hear it, there wasn’t much life to her apology. It sounded like a politely required apology, almost...defensive?

“ I am so sorry about my little brother Miss. He’s also sorry. But do you need anything else since we seem to be all set here but you’re still hanging around when you must be very busy…?” Dick’s words were sweet and cheerful, but there was an edge to his tone that gave a clear warning. His arm around me tightened a little protectively as he gave one of his signature charming smiles that could light up half the damn city as he then inquired if there was some sort of problem. The waitress stammered that there wasn’t any problem and that it was fine and for us to enjoy our meal before scampering away to continue her work. I felt other patrons eyes most DEFINITELY on us now and I couldn’t help shrinking into the taller man’s side to hide.

“ I’m sorry this keeps happening…” I murmured to him as our respective dates started eating and slowly reviving their conversation, moving on to mission recounts and training while Damian shot a dark look at the other patrons that made them look away. Dick gave my shoulder a squeeze and i moved closer for that familiar warmth and comfort...my chest felt heavy and my appetite had died and I wanted to curl up in my room and die of the shame. But I couldn’t, he wouldn’t have let me. So instead I instinctively sought out the safety Dick’s presence brought me, like a protective older sibling whose arms I could be enveloped in and forget about the harsh world outside them.

He knew without words, catching my body language before anyone else at the table. He knew me best.

“ Do you want to leave? We can get to go boxes and enjoy this meal all the same back at the tower, or even mine and Kori’s apartment. Is that what you’d rather do?” It was tempting, oh god it was so tempting to just say yes and let him lead me away while I re-gathered myself, same way he did when we were both 13 and living under the same roof...before…

I shook my head and forced those thoughts to the very back of my mind. I was in a dark enough place of mind already without that.

“ N-no...you guys set this up...i...i don’t want one nosy waitress to ruin our whole meal. Lets just eat ok D?” He smiled at the nickname and ruffled my hair with a nod, both him and Kori making sure I knew if things got too uncomfortable we could leave and the heaviness eased a little at their consideration. I started picking at my food and slowly regaining my appetite, once again nudging Damian with my foot to start up conversations. I ignored the words for the majority of the dinner, we even began to enjoy ourselves again. The last straw was probably as we were paying and putting leftovers in to go bins. I was admittedly nibbling on food out of my bin, despite starting to feel full.

“ I swear you are a bottomless pit sometimes Gracia.” I rolled my eyes at Damian’s remark and gave him a small smirk as I licked my fingers clean.

“ This bottomless pit can still kick your ass in training wonder boy~” He grunted and I saw the challenge glow in his eyes as he smirked back, an excitement for tomorrow’s combat training flaring up between us.

“ You really shouldn’t mix up your delusional dreams with reality alpha PUP.” I said something snarky back and we began to bicker halfheartedly over who was winning. I finally snapped shut my leftover box and stood with Damian as we stared each other down confidently, Dick chuckling at our competitiveness.

“ Tomorrow morning’s combat training will certainly be interesting with these two all riled up already.” The words didn’t fully process as I cracked my knuckles and squared up to the admittedly….taller boy.

“ Last I checked Damian I was ahead 11-10. And tomorrow, I just cant wait to make it 12.” He gave a hard laugh to my face and faced up to me with a smirk as our other two companions stood and shooed us more in front of the table so they could leave their seats. He opened his mouth to say something likely scalding and snarky back at me when the worst comment pierced between us both like a goddamn bullet.

“ Damn, I never knew such a sickly, too skinny bitch like her could eat like such a fat fucking pig.”

I think I stopped breathing as my body flinched at the following laughter. The man was clearly on the tipsy side and sitting at a larger table with a group of laughing friends, though the one who said it was standing next to the table with a drink that reeked of the cheapest alcohol this restaurant probably sold, and he didn’t stop there. Oh god of course he didn’t stop there. He kept laughing and loudly making obvious comments at me and openly mocking me and how much I ate to his table, either fully aware of what he was doing and that we could clearly see and hear him or too drunk to really care as more insults and name calling that I had heard and seen and read plenty of times before fell from his mouth. My heart was pounding in my ears as the next few moments happened slowly.

I thought I had seen anger plenty of times before, the worse being the one and only time someone made a malicious joke about my appearance to my face when I was walking beside Jason and it took all my supernatural strength to drag him off and away the guy before he murdered him in broad daylight and to keep him walking to wherever we had been heading.

I had seen pissed, but I had never seen downright hellish fury until that moment when I looked at Damian and Dick.

I had seen Damian mad, and angry, and pissed, a few times in our first meetings at me personally. I had seen Dick mad, angry, and pissed off a a fair chunk of times, even if they had never been directly at me. I had never seen this expression on either of them in those times. And in those few moments that passed almost in slow motion and Damian began to lurch forward with murderous intent the thought finally hit me. ‘ Was this...the first time these two had really heard the comments about me? Oh god…’ I felt like I was moving in honey as Damian stalked past me and I tried to reach out to him slowly, a gleam to his eyes that made my blood go cold.

If someone was to ask me in the future what I believed Death looked like, I would say with completely conviction that death would have the exact eyes Damian had in that moment: lethal, merciless, and furious. And he would have Dick’s cold expression, a look I never wanted to see on the normal cheerful man’s face ever again.

Time snapped back to a normal speed like a whip and my hand grasped nothing but air as Damian stormed over to the man.

“D...da--”

“What did you just say you disgusting drunk.” I might’ve shivered at his tone and I felt Kori’s hands on my shoulders tugging me back protectively as she looked down at me worried.

“ Gracie...don’t listen to him, there’s no reason to cry.” Cry? What was she talking ab--

That’s when I felt it, something warm and wet sliding down my cheeks and dripping off my chin. I...I was crying. My walls and my limit of bottling things in for one day was crumbling away as I watched Damian go to confront the man, my voice disappearing under the surge of hurt and anxiety. I couldn’t even say his damn name. I felt frozen and helpless as Dick stalked after Damian, fists clenched.

I had to do something say something anything to stop them before things went badly I had to I had--

“Eh?What the fuck did you say to me brat?”

“ You heard me you worthless piece of filth. Apologize to her, now.”

I needed to do something anything as I felt myself crumbling. Why wasn’t Dick stopping him why

“ And what if I don’t pipsqueak? You gonna hit me? Now scram. Maybe take your little bitch to a hospital for treatment instead of parading her around a restaurant with normal people!”

“ He might not do anything, But I will. Now take it back before things get messy.”I think my body began trembling as I watched panic swelling. I just wanted to leave and go home. I didn’t want to see this unfold, I just wanted to be home at the tower curled under my covers to simulate the warmth of another person holding me. I wanted to be anywhere, anywhere else then stuck in this nightmare.

So I moved without thinking and lunged, aiming for the back of Dick’s jacket to grab and ready to swallow any shards of pride and beg to leave. Instead I collided with Damian’s back and rolled with it, hugging him tightly from behind and tugging back with a whimper.

“ P-please you two...l...lets just leave...please lets just go home please…” Kori grabbed Dick’s arm firmly and tugged him back.

“ Dick...shes in the midst of an anxiety attack, let it go and lets leave. We need to get her out of here.” He took a difficult deep breath but nodded glaring down the man harshly enough that he flinched and scurried to the bar with his tail between his legs mumbling insults. One of his friends started to stand and began nervously apologizing, though one vicious look from the boy I was holding shut him up fast. It took me and Kori working together to drag the two out of the restaurant and the ride home was tense and silent. I couldn’t look at any of them, instead opting to stare at my feet wiping my eyes.

“ Does that happen often. People talking about you like that.” His cold tone made me flinch a little. At this point I was so upset and anxious and emotionally drained on the inside that I thought Damian was mad at me of all people for what happened. Those dark thoughts began to slowly bubble up to the surface and my insecurities screamed that he blamed me for what happened in the restaurant. I remained silent, too upset to answer. I heard his growl of annoyance and I began to hunch up, ready for a verbal fight.

“ Damian drop it for now. Shes in no right place of mind to talk about it.” Dick warned from the driver seat with a low voice that reminded me he was also upset and angry. When we got back   to the tower I didn’t wait for anyone to say anything, I just bolted for my room as fast as I could, at a inhuman, unnatural speed that they couldn’t keep pace with.

I stayed locked in my room for three days, not willing to face any of them the next morning during training. Everything was heavy and hurt and it was hard trying to rebuild those shattered walls of protection, that image of unbothered confidence. I stayed in bed locked away from the world and curled up under the weak protection of my sheets mostly unresponsive to those outside it.

The first to come knocking and checking on me was Kori, asking if I was ok and if I needed to talk. She left after a little while of trying for a response unsuccessfully though, saying she’d come back to check on me later. It was maybe an hour later that Garfield came knocking, asking why I’d missed breakfast AND training. His voice was concerned as he asked if everything was ok and if I was even in there. The concern poked painfully into my silence, tempting me to speak and make myself vulnerable.

Vulnerability killed. I knew that first hand. So I forced myself to stay quiet until his knocks and footsteps faded away.

The rest of the day passed in a bit of a self deprecating blur, only marked by Kori’s two other attempts at my door. The last one I barely noticed as exhaustion kicked back in and I drifted off into an unsteady sleep

The next day after I woke up things still went by in a near timeless blur. I could hear my phone buzzing and vibrating and rattling for my attention but I left it there on the nightstand unnoticed and curled further under the sheets, lost in a slate tinted world of dark thoughts and darker temptations. But that day was harder to drift away through.

The first to stop by was Jamie, knocking a few times and calling out to me with concern and worry clear in his voice as he asked if I was ok. He asked if I’d eaten at all since yesterday, since he hadn’t seen me leave my room. The thought of eating made my stomach stir and my body curl around it ashamed. He knocked a few more times after that, his voice growing a bit more worried at the lack of answer. After awhile I heard him walk away and I barely lifted my head as I hugged my too skinny too unhealthy body close, feeling those blaring imperfections and flinching at myself.

It was no wonder everyone said those things...if so many people said them so often then they must be true.

The next to come by was Raven. She only knocked twice and gave a small sigh.

“ Gracie...I know you’re in there. If you need someone to talk to...my room is in the next hall over, and I will be here to listen. I wont force you to come out...just please remember you aren’t alone here. You have the team behind you.” I bit my lip hard enough to make it bleed to keep my ensuing whimper silent. The words, soothing and reassuring in context, stabbed into my heart and my resolve. I WANTED to depend on them, to throw open the door and break down under the assurance I could and would not be treated differently after, and be assured and comforted and remind of the positives. I wanted it so badly I was scared of it. Or maybe...I was scared of it NOT happening as those damn fears and insecurities and dark thoughts sowed heavy doubt through me. She lingered a little longer than Jaime, eventually her footsteps disappearing. I remember meekly poking my head from the sheets to stare absently out the half covered windows lost in thought, time slipping by me once more to the point I almost didn’t register Garfield and Kori both stopping by my door again at least twice more worried.

When Dick stopped by as the sun was setting was when the harder pain set in.

I heard the knocks and ignored it in favor of the changing color sky the sunset offered, my room washed in a dim orange and amber gleam. Then I heard his voice, soft and sick with worry from the outside and my heart thudded so hard it hurt. Hard.

“ Gracie...C’mon Gracie-girl please open the door. We’re all worried about you...I’m really worried about you. You haven’t eaten for a day and a half...Please let me in...” I almost broke completely at the pain in that familiar voice, the voice I never wanted to be the cause of being in pain or anguish again.

Well looks like I did a GREAT job of preventing that didn’t I?

He knocked again, asking and pleading and trying to reason, anything to get that door to open. My eyes burned with hot fresh tears and I curled up into a tight ball whimpering softly and breaking my vow of silence.

“....D-dick...p-please...j-just leave me a-alone…I-i just need some t-time alone…”

My voice came out pathetically weak and shaking with tears, which I know he heard. There was a silence for a few moments, perhaps shock that I actually answered this time. I felt warmth sliding down my cheeks as he sighed and reluctantly muttered that he’d come check back on me tomorrow and that there was leftover dinner ready for me to heat up on the kitchen counter before he slowly walked away. His fading footsteps echoing in my ears. Was my heart breaking on every step away? I couldn’t tell. That feeling slipped into the dark thoughts that followed the setting sun. Dark thoughts that also reminded me of the one person who HADN’T come to check on me, and the resulting pain of his absence.

The third day had been mostly quiet. It was almost a painful relief, quiet meant no additional pain of--

“ Gracia.”

That one word coming from Damian’s mouth sent so many things through me and sent any resolve I had spiraling away. His tone was a forced kind of neutral, he sounded as if he was trying to stay calm but it wasn’t exactly working. There was something to his voice I had no energy to figure out. He didn’t knock and there was silence for a few moments but I felt his presence remain.

“ You haven’t eaten since the restaurant.” No questions with him, he didn’t need to ask, always calm and analyzing.

“ ...You cant just stay in there forever Gracia.” A stern lilt to his voice, weakly enforced by the faint sound of his hand on the door. I could only whimper and curl up more. There was another stretch of silence before he sighed and his footsteps continued down the hall.

He was the only one to come check on me, a blessing and a damnation.

The day and night went by so listlessly I didn’t remember falling asleep, only waking up to banging knocks on my door. The volume grated on my sensitive hearing and made me flinch. Who would even be knocking like that…?

“ Oi. Kid. I know you’re still in there. Open the door.” Jason’s hard and no shit taking voice shot through me. Why...Why was Jason in the tower? Why was he in the city?

The knocking continued relentlessly, unlike the others. It even got louder and angrier.

“ Kid I said open this goddamn door.” There was no request or plea in his voice. It was a command, a harsh, cold command. I tried covering my ears with my hands and curling into a tight ball as the knocking continued. He wasn’t about to give up to a little girl.

I knew this too well.

“ Graciea Rosica Lucio I swear to god if you don’t open this goddamn door in the next couple second I will break it down. Now get off your fucking ass and answer me.” I don’t know what it was, but hearing his threat sent my body into mechanical motion, trudging over to the door and reluctantly unlocking it and letting it slide open with a low hiss, the banging finally ceasing. I couldn’t look him in the face, empty and ashamed it took threats to get me to open the door. So I stared dully at his boots and took in his scent as he grabbed the front of my shirt and dragged me back inside. I stumbled clumsily along with as he sat me on my bed and stood in front of me. I kept my gaze down towards his knees, the smell of nicotine wisping off his body in a way that told me he very recently had been smoking, no less than an hour ago most likely. Smoke and city is what filled my room. There was only a beat of silence before he spoke.

“ Look at me.” I lifted my head and stared at his chest and his crossed arms, unwilling to look him in the eyes. I couldn’t bare to see what kind of disappointed look he likely had on his face. Perhaps I didn’t want to see my reflection in his eyes, see the sickly, disgusting and bony figured girl with greasy hair and dark circles under dulled eyes and sallow cheeks. I heard the slight growl that rumbled from the back of his throat in warning and I briefly wondered if I would be forced to look him in the eyes. His arms uncrossed and I prepared myself for anything.

Anything except for two big plastic grocery bags filled with fast food bags and orders was dropped onto my lap, the contents still hot. I blinked slowly once, twice, and finally got enough courage in my confusion to look up at his face. When I did I was a little startled.

“ Eat. And you aren’t moving until those bags are polished off understand me?”

He looked visibly angry, eyes narrowed and mouth locked in a fearsome scowl with eyebrows furrowed. But his eyes were soft and worried and it took me a minute to realize worry was what was making his scowl so harsh. He crossed his arms across that broad chest again and I realized he was in his work gear, all the way down to the guns strapped to his thighs. All he lacked at the moment was his helmet and domino mask, his dark hair messier than usual and the white streak falling between his eyes. We had a staring contest and in those pupils I saw myself, I saw the shell I had become and it made me sick, breaking me briefly from the depressive haze.

How the hell had I let myself fall this far, this deep?

We didn’t speak until he grunted, eyes narrowing more in a way even those concerned blues didn’t weaken the glare as he spoke gruffly.

“ You better start eating before I start just shoving it down your damn throat.” I knew he would too. He wasn’t fucking around, I didn’t doubt he’d follow through with any threats made. Slowly I looked down at the pile of food and reached for the first bag, pulling it open and blinking fast as fresh tears stung my eyes.

It was from our favorite diner, and it was my usuals two cheeseburgers and large lightly salted fries with a second order of fat steak fries and fried pork strips. He’d even gotten all the little sides I enjoyed with it and I looked back up at him with a pained look. Maybe that look made him relax because his expression softened slightly, his voice quieting to something gentler.

“ C’mon now...I brought you all your favorites, now start eating...it’s been three days and your body cant handle that. We can talk after.” My shoulders slumped as all the tension stored in my body dissipated a little as he continued to speak, like a tightly pulled strong finally cut loose.

“ Kid I’m not mad at you. No one is. So just eat the food and then we’ll figure shit out, just like we do on any other visit.” I think the tears started falling because his face got blurry and there was warmth in my face. If I did start crying he didn’t say anything, just nodded at the bag. I gulped and slowly but surely pulled out one of the burgers and slowly took a bite, struggling a little to swallow it with a throat that was closing up from emotions. Once I did though my hunger kicked me hard and I began devouring the food, one bag after another.

It took me about a half hour to finish both plastic bags but I did, followed by slamming through at least two water bottles and one thick milkshake that almost made a mess. Jason simply watched over me as I ate from his spot in front of me. The silence was almost soothing, not painful as it had been before. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand as I looked back up at him and we made eye contact.

“ So are you going to tell me what happened? Really happened?” I broke his gaze to stare towards the floor as the acidic shame began to creep back over me. He sighed.

“ C’mon kid just let it out already. Who am I to judge? So why don’t you trust me like you USED to and tell me?” Those words shot through my heart and head.

I...I wasn’t trusting him...trusting anyone...I…i...

It was like Jason opened a flood gate.

It all came spilling out with a new surge of tears and mid sentence cracking sobs, my body physically heaving from the intensity as it all came out. All the months of insecurities and pain and doubts and fears and comments and negativity and hate and bullying came rushing out like a tidal wave and Jason took to all, listening to everything without a single word as I let everything out and let myself break down completely, wails and sobs replacing words eventually. I felt him shift and kneel in front of me, felt big strong sturdy hands grip my shoulders to steady me and keep me anchored as I buried my face into my hands and gasped out cries and pained wailing yowls that filled the room and spilled out of it. I vaguely remember the sounds of multiple hurried footsteps coming towards the door but I didn’t care. All I felt was Jason’s hands on my shoulders and his steady, continuous heartbeat in my ears as well as he strong breathing. One set of footsteps dared to enter the room and hurry over, only stopped by Jason’s calm voice.

“ Let her get it out, its the only thing that’ll help.” The footsteps stopped and eventually the wails faded into blubbering whimpers and whines and hiccups, constantly sniffling. I lifted my head to look at him through blurred eyes and got one brief sight of Dick standing behind Jason that sent me into a whole new wave of sobs.

God I’ve been nothing but selfish and now I’d fucking hurt Dick again even when I swore I’d never do that again and i--

I let out a high pitched whine that turned into pathetic blubbered and wailed apologies. Over and over like a broken record I couldn’t stop apologizing to them for everything even parts that weren’t my fault  in any way I still apologized for it I just couldn’t stop. Jason’s grip on me tightened only slightly before slipping away and for a single moment I was terrified I’d annoyed him with all the apologies and was about to add that to my list of them when two strong arms wrapped around me and and Dick’s scent surrounded me.

“ Shh shh shh shhh….shhh Gracie its ok now shh shh its ok I got you its not your fault…” I sniffled and wailed out more sobs and begs for forgiveness as I clung to him like he was a life preserver. And at that moment he was. He hugged me tighter and practically cradled me into his chest stroking my hair as he murmured reassurances, assuring me I was well forgiven and it wasn’t my fault. Everyone got insecurities especially when facing so much negativity. How I was so strong for fighting it for so long regardless. But it was ok to not always be strong and be able to handle it. That he was there and it was ok now. It took awhile but eventually all my noise quieted down to sniffles and hiccups and the occasional whimper as my trembling and heaving finally eased away into a limp tiredness. I felt exhausted but in a way different than the past couple days. I felt lighter and the more Dick spoke gently the lighter and more relaxed I felt,all the pain easing as he banished every dark thought one by one.

“ You ARE a hero Gracie.”

“ you aren’t a skeleton or a scarecrow or a twig.”

“ You are not too bony.”

“ You’re beautiful.”

“ You aren’t sick and you don’t need any doctors.”

“ You’re ok. The way your body works and retains weight naturally is not your fault.”

“ You’re only thirteen you’re still growing kiddo.”

“ I was scrawny and thin until I was at least sixteen Gracie its not that uncommon.”

“ You do NOT have to hold yourself to stupid human beauty standards.”

“ You’re beautiful to us, that’s all that matters.”

“ You’re ok, you have us.”

Each and every statement cleared my mind and I slumped against him with tears still falling down my cheeks. His hand carefully cupped the back of my neck in a soothing gesture to ease the wolf side of me, adding a very small amount of pressure to ensure the sense of security and safety the movement brought. I whispered out a hoarse thank you, my throat sore and raw but already beginning to heal. He smiled into my hair and I let my eyes slip shut in contentment. I felt...stabilized, as if the whole world had been constantly tilted dangerously under my feet for months and now it had finally been returned to normal, balancing me once again.

I felt a second, no technically third, hand tangle itself into my thick and greasy hair and ruffle it affectionately, fingers tangling themselves in the dark chestnut locks.

“ We’re always here for you kid. Whether you like it or not. You can be honest and confide in your inner circle Gracie. We aren’t going to look at you any differently...so next time don’t keep your mouth shut.” My nerves settled and I leaned into his hand with a loud hiccup, making him snort. I looked up and saw both older men smiling down at me, both with their own kind of soft expressions. I rubbed my eyes and wiped my nose and smiled back shakily, feeling like everything was going to be ok for the first time in a long while.

I learned a few things a few hours later, after I’d fallen asleep in Dicks arms and woke up on the couch out in the Tower’s game room with Garfield and Jaime looking after me. My head was resting on Garfield’s leg and he had his elbow rested on my upper arm comfortably as he and Jaime played some kind of two player video game, keeping their voices lower than usual to be considerate of me sleeping. Opening my eyes was difficult as they felt dry and crusted and stung from crying so much. But my throat was no longer sore. When they saw I was awake they paused the game and and told me they were happy I was up, as I had been out cold for at least a solid couple hours. That was when I learned the first thing : Dick and Kori had informed the team of the incident at the restaurant after the first day I stayed locked up in my room, and Garfield had let it slip in his rage that he thought I had finally stopped getting those comments, and confessed that I’d been getting bullied and harassed about my appearance online for months. What I found out was all those months what I failed to notice was Garfield fighting back on my behalf every chance he got. He defended me, constantly called people out for harassment and even worked on getting some of the worst and most aggressive ones banned. For months he’d been do it as relentlessly as he could, filling his own social medias with both our pictures and his constant defense and positivity towards me to fight it back. It got lost in my own comment section so I stupidly didn’t realize. It warmed my heart knowing he’d kept my back even when I never noticed or mentioned it, though he waved it off and just gave me his big old smile telling me it wasn’t that big a deal,

“ After all, you’d do the same for me in a heartbeat!” And he wasn’t wrong. But I still hugged him tight in thanks anyway, an embrace he happily returned as he warned me next time I lied about being harassed there’d be hell to pay.

I assured him there wasn’t going to be a next time anymore and for the first time in months finally wholeheartedly meant it.

The second thing I learned was Jaime told me during those first two days I was locking myself away Damian had gone back to the restaurant and used Bruce’s name to hunt that guy that had been harassing me down and gotten a few hefty harassment charges and minor endangerment charges slapped onto the guy, throwing in a sob story of how I was now in emergency care in the hospital because of him. I knew he didn’t throw his last name around often, didn’t exactly like having to do so to be taken seriously. The fact he did for me…

I had a lot more feelings for Damian after that knowledge.

The third thing I learned was that the only reason Dick and Kori hadn’t come by to check on me yesterday was was because they spent the entire time hunting for Jason to get his help with getting me out, and when they DID find him he stormed for the tower and made it there before they did somehow, he was that angry.

As they were telling me this and retelling a very tense video call between Nightwing and Batman during the second day Damian came in in his full Robin attire, regarding us stoically. When I saw him I stood and the room quieted as I approached him, the both of us observing each other. When we stood a foot apart I stared into his masked eyes quietly and he looked into my tired eyes. I saw his mouth start to open to speak and my body lurched forward without me, hugging onto him tightly.

“Thank you...you didn’t have to do that for me thank you thank you thank you…” He was quiet and I was about to let go and move away when I felt his arm come around me and grip the back of my shirt, returning the embrace. Neither of us was at a point that we were really physically affectionate by any means but my heart swelled when he hugged me back, leaning his head against my own and allowing me to bask in the warmth of his arms and his scent. When I felt him roll his shoulders I took that as my cue and slowly pulled away, gently pressing a kiss to his cheek as I did before retreating back to give him his space.

I think I saw his cheek flare pink but I’ll never say for sure because that would mean admitting just how red my own cheeks were.

I’d love to say that after that everything ended happily and perfectly and things went great forever and ever. But I cant, life doesn’t work like that.

But things did get better.

I was under heavy supervision several weeks, with almost stricter watches on my food intake to make sure I didn’t try to over eat or try to force weight gain. Bruce had me stay with him and Damian for a few weeks as well to make sure I didn’t slip back into that dark place. It was a bit smothering at times...but in all honesty I welcomed the smothering because I knew it meant how much they all cared. And staying with Bruce again...it brought up my mood believe it or not. Being in the manor brought back happier memories of my childhood and seeing the man I considered a fatherly figure more often perked me up. Plus I got to see Tim a lot more than usual in those few weeks, a perk and joy all in itself as he kept me company when he wasn’t too busy with his work. Tim was also the one who disabled all comments on my social medias one calm rainy evening in the lounge. I was grateful and he patted my head after as he read his case files. I think I might’ve fallen asleep against him, I cant say I fully remember. With each passing week I felt better and better. It took a long time for my self esteem and confidence to rebuild itself, but it got some jump starts. Perhaps the best part was two months later after a sparring session with Kori. She was giving me tips on striking with a staff when Dick and the big bad bat Brucie himself walked in.

“ Batman? Has something happened?” He shook his head and put his hand on my shoulder.

“ I’m going to borrow Gracie for a few minutes.” Dick gently took her hand and smiled as he whispered something to her as he led me out of the training room and placed a long bottle of what looked like red chewy vitamins into my hand. When I looked up at him confused he gave me some of the best news of my life.

“ These are specially created vitamins designed to accommodate your body’s inhuman metabolism. Tim helped me create them. They're designed to help regulate fats and carb distribution in your body and allow your body to hold onto and gain more weight without immediately burning it off. Take one every week and in a few months you should be up at least one weight class if not more as long as you keep to your regular healthy eating habits, just like you wanted. By Tim’s calculations within the year you should gain enough weight to have a thicker figure, though you may always retain this thinner “ballet-ques” figure...you will more closely resemble the figure of girls your age.” I stared up at him then at the vitamins and sniffled, fighting off tears of joy. All those weeks with Tim and his seemingly just curious questions about my species and their anatomy...the “ case files”...I owed Tim a lot for this.

“ It was Dick’s idea, after all that happened two months ago.” The softer tone brought a smile to my face and I nodded, barely restraining the urge to hug Bruce while he was in the cowl.

“ T-thank you...thank you this means more to me than you know…” He nodded and turned to leave but I caught the ghost of a smile on his face as he walked away.

And once he had I ran back into the training room and tackled Dick to the ground with a ecstatic howl, shifting mid leap into wolf form and licking his face in gratitude, making him laugh as he lazily tried to push away my affection.

I started taking them that day, and it took a few months for a noticeable difference to take place, but it did. My clothes and uniform stopped hanging off me like a walking scarecrow and I started developing the beginning of a feminine figure. I stopped trying to stuff my face too much at every meal and with every week after my self esteem raised back up a little higher. Maybe people saw it in the big, wide crooked smiles in pictures of me now, no matter who they were with. Or maybe the team saw it in the fact I stopped trying to hide my body in layers of clothes, walking around in my favorite tank top after missions instead of over sized sweatshirts and shirts, or the fact I didn't mind sudden pictures taken of me. Regardless it showed and in time I was more than happy to show off that confidence. Throughout it all Jason made near constant visits between jobs to make sure I didn’t have too major of setbacks and Dick stayed by my side as often as he could, supporting me and being a physical reminder almost that I was never alone.

And I didn't feel alone.

And one day as I was getting ready for an outing I paused in front of the mirror and looked at myself, looked at my slightly more filled out tank top and the small curve of slightly more defined hips and an actually fairly filled out stomach, a fuller figure to match my broader than normal shoulders. I slowly looked into my own eyes and after a moment I began to smile.

Somehow….I didn't hate looking into the mirror as much as I used to.

“ I do not look that bad. I look fine.”

“ Gracie c’mon you coming? C’mon the others are gonna leave without us!”

I smiled at my reflection wider before running off out of the room after Jaime’s voice.

“ Im coming!!”

I dont look that bad.

And now I could finally start to see that.

The end.

OOOOOOOH ITS FINALLY DONE ITS FINALLY DONE! 

Ive been working on this for three months now and it was really difficult to finish. Originally it wasnt supposed to be so angsty but...it turned out really angsty at the end.

@phantommoonpeople

@kid-crashed

@call-me-n0ni-chan

Tagging those I know will want to read this

I hope you all like it!!

[guild-guardian]

Spoiler Free review of “All or Nothing”

After a cut because long post, many words, skritt math. 

The Story (No details)

Overall it's probably one of the best executed episodes worth of story that they’ve released in the last couple of Seasons. 

The Final Battle is more akin to the kind of scale you see in the Zorah Magdaros battle in Monster Hunter World than you’d expect to find in GW2, and that was a huge improvement compared to previous Elder Dragon battles. Having an active role in the battle, along with the NPCs not just “swinging their sword Oh look they swung it again” at trash mobs, and actually being useful- firing siege weapons, fighting mobs, picking you up if you get downed

So many call backs to minor named NPCs- some personal early personal story, and others from pact/priory/vigil etc It lead to a feeling of being surrounded by familiar faces as you lead the charge.  The short piece after the battle was also a well designed experience- the lack of UI and the “damage” lines that you felt when Balthazar killed you in PoF, further push the “oh fuck we’re pretty badly wounded”, along with the forced walk/limp and fall to our knees when we try to hop down along the uneven floor. The main character’s animation here was excellent and slow pace allowed Anet to sculpt a tightly designed experience that is as shocking as it is memorable. I won’t forget that last visual.

Brandon Bales and Debi Derryberry probably did the best voice work in this episode (imo- I haven't played it through on a non-sylvari male). It was extremely immersive and I totally bought what was happening as they expressed it.  I appreciated that the Zephyrites’ song/choir got further development, and how its relevant to the story just made it a really nice touch overall. 

I did think it felt very short- only 3 instances. It may be that they pushed the pacing to emphasise the commander rushing headlong and gambling dangerously on the first ideas that come to them, and they do love a cliffhanger at the end.  It ends on a flat note though, you can’t even interact with story NPCs after you finish it- nothing in the shiverpeaks map changes, no dialogue no “I’m just checking in” updates, nothing.  Final Note: WHERE ARE KASMEER AND MARJORY 

The Map

Huge! Ruins! Subterranean structures! Exploring! Absolutely nailed the Guild Wars 1 Shiverpeak atmosphere.but uh...not much to do past that. 

The Thunderhead Keep meta is fun- I love defense events that allow us to set traps, build barricades and ballistae. The Boss is TOO BRIGHT. It is impossible to see even with effects turned down and post processing off. Anet needs to reassess their priorities with visual telegraphing because right now you can’t see a thing, never mind reacting to the thing. 

Minor Quibble. UH WHERE DID THAT CLIFF AND PIT COME FROM? I’m pretty sure that the mountains just...continued north of the keep in GW1, and a little further north you’d come to the Mursaat teleporter to Hell’s Precipice. 

The dredge meta is...hard to get people to defend the 2nd and 3rd drills- I’ve yet to be successful on this one. 

The delay between meta active times feels a bit long, and perhaps its just the layout of this one, but there isn’t much notification if North or south meta is happening/how long until X etc. 

I don’t like that Map Completion can’t be soloed- Both metas are required. Unless you find a friendly mesmer or buy the Light of Deldrimor from the TP. 

Past the Metas, I’ve seen maybe 5 or 6 events tops on this huge environment. That is pretty woeful. I get that this was probably a high budget episode with two cutscenes, unique character animations and PvE environments built to scale with the GW1 counterparts (why did dwarves build so big anyway?), but the overall quiet map is a bit of a let down- considering the variety of content available in Jahai.

I adore the skritt/priory interactions, and an above ground village of Dredge being shown in in a positive light. Even if literally every member of the survivors has had to kill their friends and family with their own hands. 

The Mastery 

Heavily Situational and will take some getting used to. It doesn’t have that immediate “Good Feel” as mounting your griffon midair or while gliding. Being “animation locked” for most of the launch prevents you from gliding or re-mounting, so you just plummet for the most part and lose out on any air you might have hoped to gain from using it. 

At least we can be thankful it wasn’t required to complete the story or meta.

The Fractal

Dreams: Crushed Hopes: Sundered Orr: Ignored.  Instead of picking an interesting pirate/corsair character that could use a bit of story development, they go with the boisterous ghost from the Lion’s Arch Jumping Puzzle. 

This fractal is short (at T1- it’ll likely have more complexity as you go up) and very sparse on story. The music is good, and the environment is good. Dessa continues to be the shining star of most fractals with her responses to the situations she gets to observe.  Probably won't be the new Challenge mode fractal that people were hoping for, but the fight mechanics are fun and different. 

I’d appreciate it if Anet could relinquish their choke grip they’ve had on talk like a pirate day 2012 that seems to permeate all of their pirate related content- it always feels kind of like even the characters themselves don’t take themselves seriously. There's just something pretty wack with them.  (and I’m not talking about all the landlocked core game pirates just living in lakes barely big enough for their bases) That’s Enough. 

The Legendary

Probably one of the nicest they’ve done in a while. Initially I was put off by it- the official preview of it in the reveal trailer didn’t really show it off very well- not the steps, aura or on-draw effect. However on this video from someone who got it before release, they point out a few things about it that really sell it for me.

I love the scorch mark on draw, with the dubstep twangs the most. A little disappointed that Range LB 5 is unaffected- it could have been very pretty (ie spirit bow active visuals).   It's a very refined weapon that will certainly suit a lot more characters than Kudzu, and I’ll probably make it after I finish Ipos. In like a year.

The Music

Knocks itself out of the park in a home run touchdown or however sports works. The choral piece for Aurene is very beautiful, and I especially appreciate the tarir motif used towards to the end of the track.  Re-used GW1 themes in the map give a very nostalgic feel, and the fractal has a unique Shanty theme, along with what was used for this year’s Festival of the Four winds. 

OVERALL SCORE 7.5/10

The story is moving and immersive, the encounters well designed and well executed, however sparse event placement on the map kinda gets :/ from me. 

Fractals continuing a trend of “we can do anything in the history of tyria- but lets focus on the boring parts” is also disappointing. 

PS. The .5 comes from the Skritt writing and voice acting.  So pure and wholesome. 

[kinkyacademia]

Mod Pasta! What about Shigaraki getting jealous after he notices that Chisaki can't keep his eyes off his crush, a new member to the league that happens to be smoking hot and curvy?

OOOO short and sweet and to the point!! I felt like I should get two requests out today instead of one since I didn’t upload one yesterday. I just needed to even it out a bit.

-Mod Pasta🍜🍝

Of all the things you expected of your new leader, his arm around you with his eyes glaring daggers into the man across from you was not one of them. You blinked a couple of times, then laughed and pushed him off of you lightly. He retracted, slightly disappointed as you sped up to the shop ahead that you were going to with Chisaki.

“That’s cute, Shigaraki, but I’m busy today!” You smiled, slipping your thumbs into your shorts and entering. Shigaraki could barely keep his eyes away from your body as you disappeared into the building. He shot the man across the street a glare; he had just ruined your potential date.

-

As you sloshed your drink around lazily in its cup, Shigaraki spoke to Shuichi about some sort of mini mission. You smiled, pulling your phone out and playing a few games before getting a message.

The chuckle that left your lips attracted Shigaraki’s eyes, especially when you got up and grabbed the jacket that hugged your curves a little too tightly for his comfort, “Where are you going?”

“Out. With a friend, why?” You raised an eyebrow, buttoning the jacket and then walking over to the table with your drink and downing the rest of it. You gave a quick thank you to Kurogiri.

“No reason, I want to know where my subordinates are,” he scoffed, then turned back to Iguchi. As you left, he glanced back to see someone across the street from you. It was just his luck that it was Chisaki Kai, causing his bloody to boil as you waved to him. He saw nothing else as the door closed.

“You never ask where I’m going, boss!” The lizard Iguchi received a firm “shut up.”

-

“Shigaraki,” You snapped, scowling as you tried to move his arm off - it wasn’t budging! You had been eating a hot dog in an abandoned building after a long day as he played his own video games, but someone had invited the infamous Chisaki Kai. You got along just a little too nicely with the random and slightly mysterious guest, so Shigaraki had done the only logical thing; pull you onto his lap.

It really wasn’t a well-thought out decision, “SHIGARAKI TOMURA-”

“I deserve an explanation between the two of you.” He growled, his hands on your lap as he continued playing on his device. Heat had risen to your cheeks, and you uncomfortably leaned back into your deadly leader.

“For what part of it?” Chisaki inquired, sitting on a leftover chair and scrolling through his phone. He might have forgotten to disguise himself lately when watching you, but Shigaraki seemed to be quite vigilant.

“Everything,” He sounded irritated, and you chuckled before trying to slide off his lap and crawling over to Chisaki. Without stopping his game, he watched you closely

“Well, then I guess it’s time to spill the beans, Kai,” You now used Chisaki’s first name, surprising Shigaraki and also enraging him. You stopped in front of Chisaki, getting up and then socking him like a motherfucker in the shoulder with a grin, “I’m his best friend’s sister!”

“Kurono wouldn’t have liked you to say that,” He raised his eyebrows, lightly tapping your arm with his knuckles and then turning to Shigaraki, “He told me to keep an eye on his sister, Hari (F/N), as long as I have time until she gains protection from another source.” He explained in simple, and Shigaraki’s grip on his device slipped. It turned to ashes in his hands as he deadpanned the both of us from his position on the floor.

“Are you saying, Overhaul, that I don’t protect Hari?” He muttered, and Chisaki chuckled before glancing at you and then back to him.

“Well, that would imply that you were dating (F/N),” He rolled his eyes, pushing off the chair and sliding his phone into his pocket, “And we both know that won’t be happening.”

“Hold your goddamn tongue,” Shigaraki snapped, and you groaned as you walked over to a wall and bonked your head into it.

“Shut up, Kai, Shigaraki protects me plenty as a friend,” You shot him a glare; he knew about your crush on the man. Chisaki sent an equally annoying smirk back, and you hated everything about it.

“I always have better things to do,” Chisaki made his way to the door of the building, “So I won’t be caring too much about protecting you.”

“But, wait - “ You realized something, “If you leave, then-!”

All you received was a wider smirk, and you groaned in annoyance as you turned to Shigaraki. He was surprisingly closer, now only a couple of feet away. You leaned back in surprise.

“Oh, hi Shigaraki,” You pressed your lips together, then took a step back as he took one forward. This created a backwards pace.

“I can protect you plenty,” You felt your back hit the hard wall, and your heart tightened as you met eyes with the bluenette, “As long as you aren’t a spy of some kind from the Yakuza.”

“I really despise Kai-” Shigaraki’s eyes hardened, “-Chisaki’s ideals and what he’s doing. I wanted to get out of that environment.” You admitted with an awkward laugh and shrug.

“Good,” This was not only confirmation of your loyalty, but also confirmation that Overhaul had actually just given your protection rights to Shigaraki. He felt honoured in a way, but also knew you could take care of yourself without him.

He decided it was time to head back since he didn’t have a game to play, but also wanted to see if he could persuade you to live at the base. If he could, maybe Shuichi would want a room too, and you could move to his?

It was wishful thinking, really.

[the-firebird69]

they hassle him non stop itches and pinches sickness and more and tons of berading talking smelling threats and attempts to harm him.  tonight will be different you losers will feel pain now and lots of it when you try picking up the phone like the addicts you and we wont go through it again. you wont get any inventions and you wont get our engineering we pull it all.  drain you  all to death in doing it.  meaning forg want it and will are pursuing you for it now. are at your door banging loudly, and will kill you for it..we are in forg garb too.  get it.  we shoot you for them they get in fights we do it now. on purpose....ok he had yoru women say it to you they knew hate you as they should.  are tough adn mean but hey you are much much meaner and stupider. lousy people  lame friends if that is what you call it and you suck so badly for calling us ok the idiot with the restaraunt  name we crucify you along with a few trillion others.  no...octillion....and we set it up you go there you are up on the cross immediatly..talking...we hear it all confessions and more...are at it need it ok.  and they call and we see who.  now you notice after piles and piles of you die a night...we pile you up too your so dambed stupid...fn fags.    Thor Freya you know what your problem is s...what they say..thats yoru problem you have to ask.  now it is evident you are lame here and the motif is too ruggid...grinds you down, you use a matrix all do and slices you up.  your cheap mean senile pukes as planned and die smiling about it. lose your intel and hardware, and troops and cloning, your personal lives too.  you did all this sold the beans and cow..and so on...and dont notice...have to ask. are told forget.  so what...we do taht. exactly. your free to die.  and that is how. pitiful deaths.  so shut up go away and crawl off pitiful wretches here you inane and die. i mean really how embarrassing do youu think it is...they see you converse no, spit blab harrass croak in all the wierdest ways and see your weak...forg take you..so you want to ramble now ok get it rolling do so we take you to the holes local ones so we can get him up and Thor says it was said nicely... Zues Hera it is what it is and that..your horses asses on purpose and have no idea the danger or results or immpmlications none.  we know. and you are a loser there...tons dont get it you blab to make sure.  how aweful for you and them.   to die like this at his hands.  and ours..withe ease by the way...he makes it look so easy tons of forgieners do it and find your willing to die.  nice touch. too adding you in the mix no. your a total  fool.  and your idiots pipe up knowing full well they croak hoping to injure him..so he is then injured. we do nothing for you still.  and you fall again immediatly.  and ask in ridiculous ways. a re p ushovers we push you over.  and yeh we can talk and talk and aare not you doesnt affect us like you...the sound attracts killers to you and machines monsters and they destroy you.  but your too busy having fun making faces in a camera like a three year old child....mostly girls. your so eradtic mean  hostile immediatly.  you lack the understanding here in fl. most of you.   Thor Freya right on the money. it is true most cant see it and blab and torture each other and into violence or poisonings and most are losers here are under the influence of methane and other. it is hell they are so bleak and lame and senile and stark.  this fn blows this state.  and the people fall fast too hours here and off ranting...he seems immune.truly does is not a ranter yes. but has a bit no.  and he is serious he is arguing with real ppl. you idiots put your point out over and over and over and over to nobody to find you hunched over your computer in the am dead or asleep or exhausted and nurse yourselves to life for a day..and do it again.  lame.  useless.  mean.  hostile. and yeh it is not rpoducing squat. mac is angry there it is and you all balk he said it and there is his grandaddy ashortly need it..and balk.  he will kill us prob your useless...they say no we work..so get off him..now. leave him bee he only sits. no. we need it now....so we hit now mac says true too these are all greedy shits and the lot and bja and others shitheads too so dumb. mean arrogant lame.  so tell me off you shit we hit you your a loser.  and your father says it you fn scum your ruined it the one who was supposed to help you ccould not produce one chopper and had it...i saw his eyes oh that is cool...then plop.  no movement for  weeks no sales no investors.  no fun nor entertainment only brooding.  so he says you stoppe him and he says  yup.  and he will yammer all night and die.  so what you are a fool. you stopped you and no you cant couldnt and he knows it blocks.  the german tape co.  price point but blocked a s they could have sold cheaper and didnt.  machines you see do it in germany and i knew and then this..w.e cant let you mac said.  horrible mac says and the bugs are atrocious attack and attack and attack. just like our whooses.  attack and attack and tons of it shpping nd working and it is so lame and bad forg trashed the north adn midwest and south adn weset.  east gone shortly..your out you fags. out. i demand it qe and pick me up mac and macs i will be in the ocean tonight or shortly within days...jons house he presets says he doenst know he does.  told us tons and you dont get it.  ratted you out on tons of stuff and nuances due to your inflammatory attitude.  and she is horrendous inlfuences him to f up his own stuff.  easily.  he is a failure. this is nonsene keeping them around, this is it im fed up he is so stupid he rants about him..and youi are influencing him to you shit.  and not forg.  he says so we use forg stuff. not for long we are there kicking you out they are too you braggot dead bitch. you are in the middle as caa pointed out and die fast. and have tech and data and intel we need back badly. we intercept you craft you idiot using his channel..your a liar.  qe happy weith yourself you got me in trouble,,,adn for years. cork your a frggin moron tell  me to get you in trouble to blame me  your technique and tons know.  trump and others rat on you you wont shut up stop or do anything that is rational.  and you started in on me to harm me with your you go in the garden...and you go in the museum and your von hagen every single day you still announce it  billium send in reports says how many times. then you try stuff, are huge pigs and are monitored.  your not allowed to harm me as you are.  you try you die you overstuffed imbicile...he means you are puffed up and mean so we hit you....and you are not to contact him ever nor lot or any of you. r estrtaining orders are on you all your within 100 feet in or out of the house you are down and out.  all of you die tonight by the way we dont allow you back to earth your a dunce ok.  Thor states and Freya issues orders...we need bigger teams yes...she says and sends.  i request we flatten three major areas of cork, take them seup bases and Thor says ten...we divvy now and prep to bomb shorlty we shall...and it goes now....we also hit the entire upper mid west and in corks name too....we present most of the crosses are him...take them down he orders no affect lets make haste...we shall...and ther eis none...toss them all into holes seek out all cloning...and birthing and we did all the quetioning and they thought they would be freed we hit in fl and elsewhere using it and he is happy.  yes bja rememered your idiotic questino. happy you will die as he has tried to kill  you for many years..has been successul tons of times.. of course happy idiot. Zues Hera   we launch a full blown program now against cork and use it all.  this is nonsense he does and on purpose to distract us we use it on him. Freya  we use it too his inane comments and messing with him with bugs...tons say it off  turn off the compouter nah Thor macs mimic try to use it and try too hard. as do others...it is easy ok to see why. Zues we use it ok mimic those copying the orders using them on you and your assholes cork your a friggin asshole...we shoot you at each meetup ok your a faggot and wont shut up. Hera we see your guts as we enter and exit.  we hate you cork you fup so often adn to no gain.  your a shit too.  we fire you now mac daddy how lame of an answwer bja how lame of an act you ddi not conceal a thing so why hsould i ever react differently i have to defend myself and do wihtout hesitation, as you revealed yourself so many times adn are so frigin lame at your job Zues oh bja yeh oh little shit Zues go to hell cork now. i command it all those in my service you are to follow this order Thor and Freya Hera and Olympus shall enter....grab them all you see them grab them....and they send it now.  out.  stuff them in holes let us raise our Armies not our tempers....it is fruitless work cork wants and does not much affect but he is a miscreant and terrorist raises them trains them and lets hit his training camps..now Zues Hera anyohter comment corks you want more.   Hera nah we get it we are out cork oh you get it snide asshole. you shall Hera you shall yes.  we invade Savage Oppress says you blabbed macs plan and yours.

[ollie-oxen-free]

Mapleblossom. On the surface. Papyrus is struggling—‘cause humans are dicks, or because his dream of being in the royal guard has fallen to pieces, whatever—and Slim is trying his best to comfort him...but he doesn’t know how.

sometimes, in life, you come to a crossroads where you have to make a hard decision. sometimes, in life, you let the flip of a coin decide for you. and sometimes, when the coin gives you an option that you dont agree with, you stick both middle fingers up in the fucking air at the coin and do whatever the fuck you want, barreling through the middle of the roads, despite the underbrush and thorns and shit. this prompt? this fell into the very last one.

so, i rolled shitpost, but literally FUCK THAT because i am the one in control of my fate here. i choose what lives and what dies on this blog, and i chose to make things hard on myself. in the end, you got both! congrats to you (and to me, for writing them in a timely manner) ((shitpost is at the end for those who just want the uhhhhh shitty fluff, yeah)

anyways i took a bit of liberty with the prompt, and in the end i may have? strayed with it? my mind kept going like 50 places at once and i had to cut off the first before it got to 2000 words so enjoy maties

Slim walked out of the house, the din of voices suddenly becoming muffled as the door shut behind him. There was a small breeze in the yard, making the leaves rustle in the dark and bringing a slight chill to the cool summer night. His eyes scanned the porch before they landed on the figure he had been looking for, sitting on the edge of the porch with his knees drawn up to his chest.

The floor creaked as he walked over to sit beside his counterpart with a groan, setting his drink down to the right of himself with a sigh. “Hey, Paps. What’s up?” There was no response, and Slim shifted the slightest bit before continuing. “Your bro said you were out here.”

Papyrus still didn’t answer, but there was a slight shifting sound as his hand came up to his face, wiping at the space just under his eyes. Slim felt his own sockets widen in sudden realization. He was… crying? He’d never seen Papyrus cry before- at least, not in real sadness- hell, he’d never even seen the other look even remotely sad about anything. So of course his mind immediately went to the worst.

“Are you hurt? Fuck, are you okay?” He was panicking a bit since he couldn’t see anything physically wrong with the other, so it must have had to do with his soul. Green magic started to spark down his arms and hands, and he tried not to flinch at the prickling sensation, counting his breaths so he didn’t hyperventilate as he shoved down old memories. He reached out to touch the other’s shoulder. God, even in their universe, only the sickest bastards attacked the soul itself, when he was certain the other was okay he was going to find out who had hurt him and hunt them down and make them fucking pay-

The magic simply swirled over the other’s form, not finding any injuries, before it started to trail back to Slim, working its way up his arm. He felt the prickle of the small chips in his bones beginning to pull together and yanked his hand away, cutting off the magic flow immediately. He wasn’t injured? Then why the fuck was he-

Papyrus turned to him, wiping off another faint orange trail of tears before dropping his hand down, shifting so he was sitting cross-legged as opposed to hugging his knees to his chest. He sniffed, his voice thick. “H-hey, Slim.”

The hands came up to his knees, rubbing his palms against the loose jeans he was wearing before he wrapped them around his torso in a semblance of comfort.

Slim swallowed, looking back to the window of the Tale brothers house where warm light was pouring out to the skeleton in front of him. It was funny, Papyrus was almost a head taller than him, but he seemed so small in this moment.

He swallowed, arms jerking forward before he forced them to come back to his sides. Fuck. “Uh, do you- do you want me to go get Sans?”

“N-no.”

Well fuck. “Do you, uh, want to be alone?”

His voice was quieter this time, and Slim found himself wishing that the other would go back to his loud and boisterous self. “No.”

Papyrus took in a shaky breath, shifting a bit, before he sat up straighter. His hands were gripping his knees tightly, and his eyes were closed as he tried to calm his breathing. “Slim? You’re my friend, right?”

“Of course.” The answer was out of his mouth before he even had to think about it. “You’re my best friend, probably.”

It was quiet for a few moments, and Slim started to relax, thinking that the other just needed a reassurance- he just needed those too, sometimes. A few leaves that had been knocked loose by the wind blew across the yard, and Slim tracked their movement with his eyes. It was almost peaceful.

Papyrus shifted. “So I can count on you to be honest with me, right? If I were to ask you something?”

Fuck.

He chuckled, trying to emulate the easygoing shrug that the other “lazies,” as they were called, were so skilled at doing. As it was, he just gave an awkward, unnatural jerk of his shoulders. “That would depend on the question, I guess.”

It was quiet again. Slim glanced sideways at his plastic cup, wishing to god that he had managed to get at least some alcohol mixed in before Red had grabbed the whole bottle, chugging it straight as he flipped everyone off.

Papyrus let out sigh. “I supposed as much.”

Slim flinched at his tone, moving his gaze anywhere but the other. “Sorry, I uh.” He cleared his throat, crossing his legs and starting to bounce his knee. “What do you want to know?”

“Do you…” He trailed off, brow furrowed as he tucked his head down into his scarf. And then he seemed to steel himself, closing his eyes as he took a slow breath. “Do you think that I’ll ever make it into the guard?”

Slim opened his mouth- of course you will, man, you’re the greatest- but paused, hesitating. It must have been enough, since Papyrus let out a heavy sigh, slumping forwards as his hands came up to rub at his eyes. Slim let his teeth close with a small click, looking away, then back, then away again, before finally settling his gaze on the other. He reached a hand out slowly, resting it on his shoulder and lifting it up and down in the semblance of a pat. You’re supposed to encourage people that are upset, right?

“Paps, with as great as you are you can do anything that you set your mind t--”

“Don’t patronize me.”

Slim winced, yanking his hand away. Fucking abort, he fucked up again, fucking fuck. Papyrus rubbed at his eyes again before he looked up to the sky. “I obviously wasn’t ‘great’ enough, since I’ve been working for years and…” He laughed. It was bitter. “Did you know that there was a competition for all the trainees today?”

He nodded, opting to stay silent. How could he not know about it? It was all that Papyrus talked about for the past month. “I came in first. On everything.”

Slim turned with a grin, intending on answering brag how it was intended to be answered: with agreement. The look on the other’s face stopped him. He didn’t seem happy about it.

“They didn’t let me in.”

...Oh.

Papyrus continued with another laugh, arm waving in front of himself before he let it flop down beside him. “One of my best friends was the one who chose, and I still didn’t get in! Not that I would have wanted a pity vote, mind you, but… I was the best there, in a non-bragging, completely honest truth! Why wouldn’t they- she- let me in?”

Slim shifted. His mouth was moving before he could filter out his words. “Maybe you weren’t the best there.”

He’d regretted a lot of things in his life- choices that he’d made, relationships that he’d ruined, MERCY ignored- but at the current moment his lack of foresight in that sentence took the fucking cake.

Thankfully, Papyrus didn’t seem upset. Shocked, maybe, but curiosity winning out. “What do you mean?”

Great. Now he had to come up with reasoning as to why. “Maybe it’s not that you couldn’t be a guardsman, but that you shouldn’t.” It made more sense, now that he’d said it out loud, and he found his confidence in the topic growing as he continued. “The guard- they don’t do the best things all the time. Even here.” More than one news story of a royal guard’s job being investigated after they defended themselves flashed across his mind before he pushed them back. “Undyne’s doin’ what she thinks is best for you, and that just so happens to be keeping you away from what she’s had to do.”

He wasn’t the most holy of them all (a LV like his own can’t be gained solely from self-defense, even in a Fellverse), but he knew the flicker in someone’s eyes- eye, in Undyne’s case- that came with holding the weight of someone’s dust on your back, the EXP in your SOUL. And some monsters were just too good to carry that.

Papyrus included.

“Regardless of the reason why, I still just wasn’t good enough!” His face was twisted into something pained. “I’ve been trying for so long, and I just seem to keep failing!”

“Maybe…” Looking away, his eyes found the leaves in the yard again. They’d stopped moving around. The night was still. “Maybe you’ll keep failing.” Wow, Slim. Crush someone’s dreams, why don’t you? “Maybe you’ll try over and over again, but fail every time, but the thing is that you have to keep failing.”

Chuckling, he turned back to look at Papyrus. Or at his shoulder, more like, since he wasn’t totally sure that looking him in the eyes was the best idea at the current moment. “Honestly? It’s fucking incredible that you keep failing like you do. I’d have… I did give up a long time ago. But you? You keep failing and you keep getting up and just moving on or trying again.” His face started to heat up a bit. He shoved it down. “It’s probably the coolest thing about you.”

It was quiet for a few moments and he swallowed, going to apologize, before Papyrus lunged forward, wrapping his arms around his torso and hugging him tightly. Slim tensed, arms hovering above the other awkwardly before he slowly brought them down to rest on the other’s back. It was odd, how the other smelt like chalk and something sweet, and Slim found himself relaxing into his hold.

The embrace ended far too soon, Papyrus pulling back and wiping at his face with something resembling a small smile. “Sorry, I know you don’t like to… Thanks.”

He grinned, ignoring the odd tightening of his chest, as he nudged the other’s shoulder with his own. Fuck yes, he was the actual best at encouragement. “No problem.”

They lapsed into a comfortable silence. Or, at least, probably comfortable on Papyrus’s part since Slim was intensely aware of the heat of the other’s body from the closeness of their seating. Keep calm, Slim, don’t make it weird.

There was shifting from beside him, and Slim glanced over out of the corner of his eye to see Papyrus taking off his scarf, adjusting it so it was folded evenly in half before wrapping it back around his neck. “So do you think I should keep trying for the guard?”

And there was the million dollar question. I’ll take “answers that are likely to shove away the ones that I love” for $500 Al. It would be so easy for him to just say yes. Yet, as he looked at Papyrus, he realized that the other would take what he said to heart. He swallowed, reaching into the pocket of his jacket and pulling out a toothpick, starting to gnaw on the end. Sans would probably kill him for this. Most of the others would, more likely than not.

“No.” He let out a huff of air through his teeth, breaking the toothpick in his mouth before flicking the splinters away. “It’s not- You could do something so much greater.”

He really could.

Papyrus looked over as Slim walked out of the house, holding a blunt that was the size of like a really big blunt. “Hey, Papyrus. I heard that you were depressed about the guard or something. It sounds really fake edgy and I, the awkward shitstain that has a crush on you is going to do some hella comfort.”

And right now I’m really fucking tired but they both got lit with the blunt and it was cool, and they were just hanging like bros when Snoop Dogg came up, and it was kinda like his new album with him holding his phone with that smile that he does except Trump’s corpse wasn’t there. “Hey, Papyrus,” He said like Snoop Dogg, since he was, in fact, Snoop Dogg, “so I heard that you were fucking bummed. Don’t do that.”

And Papyrus was immediately better comforted than the shitty conversation he might have had with Slim, since that conversation was entirely fake edgy and just really waxing poetic. He didn’t like wax. It would always stick between his bones really weird and uncomfortably. Yes, that conversation that they didn’t have was really, really awful.

“Wait!” He cried, hands throwing up in the air. OH GOD HIS HANDS WERE GONE. But it was fine, because he needed to talk to the Dogg. “How did you know that I was upset?!”

And the other smiled his creepy, knowing smile. “I’ve been Snooping around.”

---

Papyrus jerked awake with a small snort, blinking quickly around his surroundings. There was the yard, the leaves, and- He looked down to the warm weight on his shoulder, seeing Slim leaning against him, deep in sleep. Papyrus brought his hand up to his face, rubbing at the dried tear tracks around his sockets that had left an uncomfortable tightness around his eyes.

That.

Was a weird dream.

[moonliney]

Dancing with You

3.5K of pure love!!

Genre: Fluffier this time around though still angst, Idol!AU

Summary: Yunhee has been BTS’s best friend since they debuted in 2013. 3 years later and stronger friendships than ever, she debuted with her own group as well and is now battling the stress of work, life, and her so called feelings for her best friend Jung Hoseok, also known as BTS very own J-hope. Let’s also mention that she is super naive and does not understand what the fu** love is until a certain girl from J-hope's past comes back.

Inspired by BTS “ Trivia: Just Dance” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiW1kEJDBDQ

Please read Pt.1 first to better understand 

https://moonliney.tumblr.com/post/618538982320553984/i-really-dont-like-her

Month December, Year 2016 ~ 

There are many moments in a person’s life when they want to crawl in a hole and welt away like a flower on a hot sunny day. It could be due to anything that triggers it: sadness, anger, isolation, and in Yunhee’s case right now, complete embarrassment. Now she has definitely been embarrassed many times before like that one incident where she cried on a national variety show due to having ridden the scariest biggest roller coaster she’s ever seen in her life or that other time when she was performing and forgot it was her part until her members nudged her. Oh and let’s not forget that far memory she pushed in the back of her head when she was changing and poor Jungkook walked in forgetting to knock. 

Yeah, those were horrible moments that could make any girl cringe and blush tomato red thinking about it. But this time, having her best friend and his ex-girlfriend hearing the song written about them, about the sad emotions she has for him and the raw negativity she has for the other girl, the feelings she has been hiding for so long now heard by them, will undoubtedly top all of that by a landslide. 

“ Hope, why didn’t you knock?” A blunt Suga said breaking the silence in the room, ignoring a standing Nari in the back. He didn’t want to be mean, but he was quite defensive of Yunhee now after seeing her cry a couple of minutes ago plus he was a little irritated at the intrusion of someone new coming into his genius lab. 

“ Sorry, I did knock but you both had your headphones in when recording. I was worried something happened so I just used the passcode myself…. This is Nari by the way.” J-hope tilted his head towards her not realizing the other two had already figured out who she was. 

“ Hi, it’s nice to see you again Yoongi Oppa,” Nari smiled lightly. “ And you must be Yunhee shi.”

 Yunhee and Suga both timidly mumbled “hi” as they glanced at each other waiting for the next person’s move. Cold silence now engulfed the small studio once again. If there was a picture to describe pure awkwardness, it would be taken at this exact moment right now. 

J-hope with a raised eyebrow looked at the two short people who were purposely avoiding eye contact with him, one was due to shyness and the other was an annoyance. “ I didn’t know you were working on a song Yunhee, it sounded really good. Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“ You’ve been busy...” Replied the girl now trying to focus on her shoelaces so she wouldn’t have to look at Nari and compare everything she has to her. Little did she know, her few words caused a stir of hurt in J-hope and a bit of jealousy for not asking his help instead. 

Suga glanced around carefully pausing to see people’s reactions when he suddenly dinged up a great plan. Yunhee has always been confident in her dancing, he thought. So what’s a better time for her to get rid of her insecurities about Nari than dancing and proving to everyone that she owned the dance floor just as much as Nari did and in a way gain her confidence back enough to confess to Hoseok. You’re a complete genius, Suga praised himself smirking, complete genius. 

“ Hey hope I heard you two were practicing some dance moves earlier, why don’t you show us?” Suga suggested ignoring the youngest’s eyes bulging in shock. 

Later at the Practice Room ~ 

“ Oppa!” Yunhee whispered loudly to Suga as she pinched his arm, “ Why did you suggest this? I don’t want to see them dance together!”

 “ Don’t worry, this is your time to shine.” He mischievously grinned at the pouting girl, “ Get out there and take your man back.” 

Some of the other members have also gathered around the practice room wanting to see what their new choreography was going to look like. J-hope and Nari now in front of the mirror dancing rigidly along to the beat, sweat dripping down their foreheads. 

“They look so good together...but I have to say the transition of the movements onto the second verse seems too rough for me,” Yunhee said quietly to the other members, her analytical dancing side appearing as she calculated their steps. Her thoughts were unexpectedly interrupted when someone from behind pushed her in the center where J-hope and Nari stopped seeing the younger one’s panicked interruption. 

“ Yunhee, do you have something you want to add on?” J-hope smiled, anticipating the girl’s meticulous dancing ideas. 

She hesitated, wondering if it was right for her to say her input when the other two had already finished the dance. He really needs to change the transition though and there are some other movements that need adjustment if BTS wanted to pull off this performance neatly, she thought, shaking her head. Aish, put your pitifulness aside Yunhee ah, this is for them. All of those times they trained and helped you become the idol you are today, don’t be embarrassed and try to help them. Stop shying away because you’re scared of speaking your mind. It’s okay, you got this. Yunhee repeated in her head trying to gain a sense of self during this uncomfortable state. 

With hand clenching fists and a new sense of purpose, she looked up as confidence now shines through moving towards the center to show some of her own movements, feet, and arms moving in perfect calculation.

 “ I think it would be better if you do it like this...see, one, two, three, one two three, repeat…yeah, let’s try that again…good...again.” 

Everyone, even Nari, had gathered around to copy Yunhee’s movements and watch the talented dancer. Needless to say, the room was wonderfully impressed with how quickly she was able to adjust and memorize the dances to teach them. As the chorus hits, J-hope moved alongside Yunhee dancing together in perfect synchronization. 

From the other's perspective, it looked like two lovers having the happiest time of their lives, the way their movements followed one another as if it was fate itself tangling the two together and never letting go. 

In Yunhee’s mind, she had let go of her doubts now solely focusing on her passion for dancing, not caring about the man next to her who was observing her thoroughly. She let her heart take her every step of the way and it was obvious through her dancing as well when people saw how much she loved it. 

J-hope didn’t know why but every time they danced together, his heart always swelled up more than he wanted to. He always shrugged it off as a proud moment of a best friend watching her perform so well, but other times, after their dancing sessions were over, he would think about her a lot late at night and wished she was lying with him just as she used to before schedule started filling up their lives. 

As the song comes to an end with a booming drop, Yunhee and J-hope faced one another with only their heavy panting filling the room, the two’s closeness evident by every breath one exhaled the other breathed in. The members and Nari had already stopped halfway through the song but they didn’t notice, too locked up in the music and each other to see the world around them. 

A low whistle broke the tension as everyone turned to look at a puckered lip V.  “ Nari says she has to go home.” The latter headed out nervously giving everyone a sincere apologetic smile knowing she ruined the sensual atmosphere with her departure. 

 J-hope sighed as he regrettably stepped away from Yunhee to follow Nari out the door stopping to look back at Yunhee one more time who seemed to have, dare he say, longing in her eyes as she watched him pick Nari once again. 

Afterward, in the Car ~ 

Nari looked out the car window as Seoul’s vibrant energy and Christmas lights tingle up the prettiest city in the world. However, she was too entranced in her thoughts of the previous encounter to give the city its notice. 

“ Yunhee is really talented in dancing, no wonder she won first place in her dance competitions.” She spoke up softly. 

J-hope smiled proudly at the name, a name that means lotus flower and pleasure, all too fitting for the girl itself. “ She is, isn’t she? She worked so hard all these years...now she’s made it.” 

“ She’s beautiful too,” Nari turned her head now to look at J-hope’s reaction, “ I don’t think she likes me though.” 

“ She’s...shy at times. It’s hard to explain when it comes to her, she can be unpredictable, keeps you on your toes a lot.” He smirked. 

“... She’s predictable in the way she looks at you though like you’re her whole world, Hoseok.” 

“ Nari,” J-hope stopped the car at her apartment, frowning as he disbelieves what he’s hearing. “ She’s been upset at me for a while now, ever since I scolded her about you. Besides, she’s kind like that to everyone, she is enduring to V and Suga as well.” 

“ She’s hurt and hurt can turn into upsetness if left alone. You’re avoiding your feelings for her because you don’t want it to ruin your friendship or her career as it just started. That’s why you have been spending time with me a lot right? Because you know there’s something there between you two, heck everybody in the practice room knows there’s something unspoken there...except for the two of you. So you’ve been spending more time with me to discourage her.” 

Nari edged on even more as she knows she was getting to J-hope with his brown orbs softening to show his true feelings. 

“ Hey,” He chuckled, “ I like talking to you too, it’s nice to know what normal people are doing these days. Can’t believe your boyfriend proposed, by the way, congrats.”

“ Haha, thanks, who knew after breaking up with you I would find the love of my life.” She winked at him amused at his exaggerated hurt face. “ It’s okay to tell her about your feelings, really, you two don’t have to date but at least confess to her. From one girl’s mind to another, I know she’s hurting a lot when she saw you with me.” She sighed, looking at his face filled with regrets. “Hoseok, you shouldn’t hurt people you care about...Talk to her, she’ll take care of you more than I ever did.” 

J-hope pondered a bit, sulking at the pain he has caused his girl before coming to a decision, one he hoped would be the best for both of them. “Thanks, Nari, I owe you one.” 

“ No problem. Think of it as an apology for breaking your heart- “ Ya!” “ and a thank you for letting me borrow some money - which I might or might not give back.” “ YAAA!” 

A Couple of Days Later ~ 

Yunhee smoothed out her sparkly red dress, staring at the sultry girl in front of her. Her own reflection looks back as it takes notice of her glossy lips and simple yet magnetic makeup. In two days, it would have been Christmas Eve and BangPD thought it would be a good idea to have a small company party today. Of course, it had to be a bit of a formal occasion as the company’s popularity was rising so a little dressing up was needed at this time, hence why Yunhee had gotten so dolled up in this first place. 

Is he going to be here? She thought, her heels clicked and clacked as the girl made her way to the top floor of the company’s building. They have not thoroughly spoken since that day in the practice room since schedules were overpacked now especially during the holiday season, only small good morning and night texts were exchanged before life hurriedly took over. 

She didn’t know if he was going to attend considering it was not mandatory though expected of BigHit’s artists to come. However, when she asked him, he seemed to brush it off and switched to other topics or said goodnight as his reply which frustrated her like no other. Maybe it was good he didn’t come? Considering he would be in a suit and that would have been devastating on her pure heart and mind as adult thoughts seeped in. 

Blasting music can be heard around the corner as Yunhee walked in excitedly, adrenaline pumped from the moving bodies and familiar faces. Loud gasps can be heard from different parts of the room as the girl although known for being bubbly and sweet, radiated a completely different person tonight with sensualness and elegance edging through every smiling expression and waving movement she gave to people. 

“ Excuse me miss, have you seen my little sister? She’s supposed to be here tonight.” A worldwide handsome Jin appeared teasing at the blushing Yunhee now. 

“ Oppa, you look so handsome tonight.” Yunhee smiled adding on to his cockiness, “ Have you seen Hoseok Oppa though? He never told me if he was going to come.” 

Jin smirked with a playful glint in his eyes, head nudging at the auburn-haired man who appeared behind them. The girl spun around to see what he was looking out and to say the breath knocked out of her was an understatement. J-hope with his ruffled auburn hair, mesmerizing eyes, fine face structure, and lean body that complemented his surreal black suit so well was astonishingly dashing.  He was complete beauty and as he walked towards her, she could have sworn time had stopped to aid fate at this moment. No longer were people’s laughs and voices evident, instead only slow swaying music was heard now as J-hope grabbed Yunhee’s soft hand. 

“ May I have this dance?” 

She nodded slowly walking with him towards the center where he paused putting one hand on her waist, a shiver running down her body. “ You look like such a lady tonight,” J-hope spoke, leaning close to the amusedly glaring young girl . 

“ I am a lady. In fact, I think many men in this room would think so as well.” “ Hmmm, they might but this lady is already dancing with a gentleman.” 

“ Shouldn’t this gentleman be with someone else right now?” Yunhee now getting further upset at his openness when he had evidently left her for Nari last time. J-hope however, pushed her closer to his body missing her sweet warmth these days. 

“ I very much prefer dancing with you instead,” J-hope grinned as their bodies swayed nicely against one another. “ Besides, Nari is at her boyfriend’s house, they seem to be having a great time celebrating the engagement.” 

“ Boyfriend? Engagement? How come you never told me?!” 

“ You never asked- woah! ” J-hope was suddenly pushed back by the young girl walking her way out of the room, him quickly following her to the cold rooftop. 

“ Yunhee! Yunhee, come back I’m sorry.” J-hope grabbed the small girl’s wrists pulling her into his embrace. “ I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for hurting you.” His sadness deepened when she started to tremble with hot tears soaking his shirt. 

“ Why did you push me away then?” She hiccuped trying to control herself. “ You were always texting her and talked about her and y-you yelled at me. I-i thought you no longer cared.” 

“ No, no I’m sorry angel, I’m genuinely sorry.” He cupped her chin wiping away the fallen tears, his heart shattering at everyone. “ I was tired that day but to be honest, I was upset at you thinking Nari was a bad person. She’s actually really nice. In fact, she encouraged me to ask you to dance today.” 

Yunhee peered up, shocked and guilty at the fact she let her immaturity judge another person. “ Really? Oh no, I have to apologize to her. I wasn’t thinking well, I was just…” 

“ Jealous?” Smiling at the girl’s flustered expression, he rested his forehead on hers. The two gazed into each other’s eyes enchanted from one another. “You have nothing to be jealous about, moonlight.” 

“ Then why did you keep talking to her?” “ It was just catching up with an old friend I promise...and I know about your feelings towards me...hey it’s okay, I didn’t say I didn’t like it.” 

“ H- how did you know?” “ Yunhee ah, I’ve known you for 3 years already, most of my free time consists of you and the members. You think I wouldn’t notice your small glances turning into something else?...I didn’t tell you though. Instead I tried to ignore both our feelings as your career just kicked off and you have so much to show the world. But that was wrong of me and I understand I hurt you instead.” 

Yunhee embraced him tightly, listening to his fast heartbeat syncing along with hers. Similar to the way their bodies danced together, their hearts did as well.  “ You really made me be in pain...I even wrote a song about it.” 

Chucking, he pressed a light kiss on her forehead gazing down at her once more. Their eyes met again as countless stories could have been told of this moment between a man and a woman who knew each other's body, heart and soul so well with the way their chemistry overflowed in and out the starry night sky. 

“ Guess I have to write a song about you now.” “What? No no you don’t have to I-” 

“ I will because... lately I can sense your confidence has been going down and I think I need to see my outgoing and cute Yunhee again even though tonight proved to me you can be very different from cute.” He smirked, kissing her flustered forehead again. “ Hoseok oppa…”

J-hope hugged her tighter whispering words of endearment in her ears as the couple sealed their fate that very night, embracing each other lovingly.        

“ You’re always going to my favorite girl. My one and only girl, don't ever forget that. ” 

Month August, Year 2018 ~ 

“ Good morning, everyone! This is announcer Shin A-young reporting to you on August 24 about BTS’s new world trending album, Love Yourself: Answer. This is the second compilation album of BTS with the first being Love Yourself: Her. Already breaking chart records with numerous support from both South Korea and International fans, this will surely be another amazing album from them with the majority of the members producing their own songs as well. Let’s have a look, shall we?” 

Our heartbeats are in sync

You’re getting to know my heart too

I wanna keep this going

I like you like I like to dance

So you’re my love, yeah my love

That’s what I like

I like the feeling of being with you

I like the feeling of dancing with you

I just wanna, wanna, wanna

I really wanna, wanna, wanna

Just dance

To the rhythm of the music

However our bodies move

We’re shadows underneath the moonlight

Fall in.. fall in..

I felt it baby

This moment, you and me, baby

This all fits together like a math formula baby

Even rough breathing, baby

Even shedding sweat, baby

Because of you, it all has meaning, baby

Eii! I’m melting in fluff guys <3 Thanks for reading again, it really means a lot to me. However! The story is just beginning hehe I am thinking of doing a compilation of Yunhee and J-Hope’s moments along the years or the first time they met which I can promise is sweeter than a sugary cupcake oooorr I can even start on the other boys, we’ll see ;) . Lastly I hope everyone is safe right now, we will get through this together 💜

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

A lot of control freaks are at risk. Mostly,control freaks

The ones that must invite evil into other's lives.

The mom that doesn't care her daughter doesn't like her fiance and feels it a mistake to have gotten engaged. But continues to push her daughter, even planning the wedding for her to force her to marry someone whom will be unkind to her

The moms that get limited money welfare or child support and goes and gets her nails and hair done and leaves the children in rags.

The moms that force their children to be perfect at all times, children never had the joy of feeling free. Mud between their toys without receiving corporal punishment aka an ass whipping.

The "friend" always pushing you into drug use.

The "friend" bullying you to go out every night calling you a nerd for wanting to do homework or eat dinner with family.

The teacher that stuffs more and more work down your throat with nary an encouraging word nor tone.

The principal that beats students so hard with paddles it can be heard through the halls of the school and the child not being able to sit pain free without days.

The doctor that doesnt listen to your symptoms and sends you home without proper care Because they are too busy and overbooked.

The dentist that applies a chemical to rot teeth so that they can get money from repairing what looks like cavities in xrays

The adults breaking bones in others because they're "too" drunk or high or much of an ass hole not to be selfish jerks.

Bullies. People that don't mean well but we trust with our souls and lives and they purposely push advice or decisions onto others who dont want them.

Someone who doesn't allow you to breathe freely.

"You don't know how to allow us to breathe. So let us breathe for you" The Ventilator response to idiots and jerks who think they rule the world and you aren't allowed to think or breathe for yourself. In response to the person whom says "you don't know how to breathe. Let me do it for you"

Breathing the same term as live.

Its a beautiful virus Corona and COVID-19

Ironically it affects most Zulululu aliens... And they are the ones that created it.

Welcome to Eaerth. 🌎

COVID-19

Co Ventilator ID (children & adults as age) 19

Those of us helicopter parents ... Co parent the child with the world and the child as age 19.

Those of us helicopter children .... Co parent the parent with the world and parent as age 19.

Thus you see the equation is equality between children and adults.

I by far have raised more children than any other teacher taught for a maximum of 60 years and done it better than them by treating them as adults.

62% of negative comments about the way i taught the NHRA children said I needed to tone down sexual abuse and other information i gave them, the problem is As Adults we Learn that we were sexually abused and People KNEW at that time we were young that it was bad. So i had to tell them each and every thing that could be bad. Because they asked.

They asked me an "adult" question. I treated their questions as they were planning to go play with another child's vagina and wanted to know what the abuse part was.

Had I not explained in exact and general terms as I did they could become sexual predators themselves.

That is how i dealt with the situation. Because I was too afraid they would say "that happened to me" So i treated them as potential abusers. Because I would have ended up back behind that candy shack shaking and hysterical losing my mind. So i put up a barrier between their possible pain and myself.

And educated them in how not to become a sexual predator.

Of those NHRA children, in that sexual awareness class, 13 children only 1 became a sexual offender, repeat rapist and it was Ben who refused to listen and usually sat at his desk drawing. Of the kids that paid attention 0 became sexual offenders.

And if you watched the video they clearly focused on Ben to show he was not listening to the content nor context.

Furthermore. I had to teach them all the ins and outs so if perhaps they were an unfortunate victim they would tell me and we would have the CIA investigate so it would never happen to them

I didn't know if they asked because they were thinking about bodies and various ways they could be touched or if they were asking because they had been touched that way.

So had i shut down any child's question with that's too much information and not have a male come explain it and never have the question answered. I knew i would slam the door in the child's face from self healing from abuse or preventing it from happening to them or to someone else.

They needed all the information available. To understand that if they are touched wrongly they have to know it was wrong and that they could get help. They deserved help and someone would help them.

If i said generally "if you are touched here here or here and you don't want to be and so you were molested" then we would have a shit ton more false rape reports out there.

More lives ruined for lack of information

More lives ruined for lack of information.

Treating every one as age 19. Old enough to smoke. Old enough to rent their own home. Old enough to have their own car. Old enough to know better and too young to care.

50 year old ... "Oh sonny I can't do that I'm too old" no ya ain't old lady. You can do it too.

5 year old ... "My mom says I'm too young but i know I can" then it's something that age isn't discriminatory about.

One common thing is Learning. A child can go to an University class. 7,852,931,862,985,301 people signed up for the free wellness class at Yale of those people 76% were under age 18.

Yale. A top Ivey League school. A University most people are aged 18 or more to attend.

13% were age 50 and above.

Two different people age groups vastly far from one another deciding they could do the same exact thing a 19 year old can do.

COVID-19 surviving.

We don't take away Granny's drivers license simply because shes old. She has the same rights to decide her driving benefits as a 19 year old.

No putting granny in a nursing home when she can still keep up her own residence. She has the same rights to decide where and when to live as a 19 year old.

No telling granny and our son who they cannot or can date. When our 3 year old says "my soulmate Is here. I want to introduce you and myself to her" then you go as if they were 19 years old.

COVID-19 that term will allow us surviving the Apocalypse to survive our world that is leftover.

Corona Virus. Time down with Our Spouse and children. The difference between a child and adult is the adult can drink a beer because they are over the age of 21. So in the state of COVID-19 we still respect you're fucking old enough to have kids and we can't tell you what to do.

Wahu Virus. Whahoooooo!! The world will be a better place everyday.

We didn't create the virus. Only the names and chose to not prevent the disease to be released but to be available to be spread.

Nathaniel is always ordering the release of Viruses in China and Hong Kong. I over heard his phone calls and wrote them here. Only 62% of you remember.

He wanted a job...

So it was apparently a code. So our CIA went into the computer and advised them to release it into the Wahu zip code. Meanwhile our CIA on the ground prevented and arrested the ones spreading the disease and only allowed 25% of the virus to hit its targets.

We knew it would spread naturally and the thing was to make a big deal instead of a big virus splash into our air and land.

The targets were outlying rural areas that we allowed. Not deep city but because it was air based we chose to allow the open air places to receive the diseases.

So in a place where 500,000 people would be exposed we closed that to an area where only 5,000 would be.

So while we chose to allow a virus to spread we already had magic done to allow it to kill only EVIL HUMANS. as aliens are not ours to kill...

Except as it progressed evil aliens took too much joy and wanted to do destruction, too. So that is when Wendy and her Team changed the virus to include also Evil Aliens who have no right to be on Earth.

As People became concerned as to how to not catch the Virus COVID-19 became the name.

We never wanted China to be held responsible nor it be called The China virus so we never called it Wahu. Straight to Corona. We said we would back fold it to why we chose that location in particular.

Nathaniel's Zulululu lab is in northern China. So it would been in China it was released. We made up a huge event that was top secret about anti government assassins... People like me would be attending in the millions. And so this way we manipulated the Zulululu to believe it was the best place when really we Jist liked the name and it would suit our purpose to educate for future reasons.

We had to shut down the world's government. And this was simple.

To prove i do have control of the world and we don't want Zulululu here at all or other aliens. They don't fit. They don't live well here. We don't mesh. We aren't friends.

I'm not living on a planet that always deems killing and war necessary. For Some one to try to gain control like sport while hurting my friends I allow to live here, this is my planet it wasn't created by any another than me and Alex. Marc is a star from a collapsed galaxy. Its a long story. But we are a 3some.

When Venus was attacked. We allowed them a safe Haven. We invited them and changed our world to include them

Those some aliens that attacked Venus live here now.

I allowed them and all aliens from 1777 to 1977 to prove they have the ability to sustain their alien life here. Only 1 planet has proven they had the ability.

In the film Virgin River i once again visited to notify the leaders of Zulululu they needed to evacuate inn 1979. They instead said they would change me to rule the world. So i took that challenge. It is now 2020. And they have failed. All alien life has failed.

In the film you'll see I do things my way. To prove they are wrong and do not deserve a place on my planet.

You'll see i do allow friendly conversation and warmness between the community and I.

I get tired of the lying bitch ass mayor and i do strike her with a heart attack. You'll see me extra extra pissed off in those episodes.

So review those and realize I'm totally fucking pissed. Especially when i am standing in her living room after.

But i still remain friendly. I even bring the bitch her dam mattress down.

But i wanted to kill her and didn't. I could had but th3 point was to tell her to quit lying. She figured out who I was fairly early on and abandoned the baby to distract me. I was a trophy to be kept In the neighborhood. Not someone to listen to.

Look at Chloe's eyes. She's certainly of an alien quality..

I also knew what they were up to.

If you watch it seems things take abrupt turns ... Its research. Knowledge gained from patterns and observations.

Like now i watched and right away knew who was lovers. But it is not revealed until i figure it out then. So when she brings out the divorce I had only realized it after going into,her bedroom that the cabin was hers. And doctor had already yelled at her about me staying in his cabin. So in her bedroom I realized they were at one time living together due to her decor. And photos on the night stand on his side of the bed...

Point is we ghosted into alien communities refusing to leave to ask them to leave. Walked and existed in their communities as we did in our own with our True Loves, family and friends.

We proved they had not adhered to guidelines.

And this is why we have WWIII.

Because they are still here.

In the film you'll see phones like now to show them what we could be provided and would provide their home planets with to communicate on.

When they refused we took all our stuff away. And left them with nothing. If we replaced a TV with one of ours... When i left. They had nothing left. I took what was mine in a fit of rage. And didn't return what had stood there before.

We provided them with these items via magic 1-4 months before arriving so they would not suspect a stranger.

The first time we hadn't and in 1979 it was the second time we attempted to help them gently understand they needed other leave.

That is why what you see now in WWIII is so cold, calculated and done. Pissed off. No 2 ways. Fuck you do what i say.

33 years extra i tried different ways. Their recommended ways. To allow them one last chance..

Now in my mind these bitches are all dead. Cause im gonna kill what they live in and eject their souls.

Currently our galaxy is in a black hole. So they can't find us and how to return. Any Galaxy in a Black Hole means if you try to enter you will be killed upon sight..

No "are you lost can i help you?" Instant death.

And our planet is in a black hole within the black holes. It has been since 1817. That is why the only planet we see is Venus because we brought it with us.

Otherwise we could see almost every planet and moon in existence but we don't.

Because of rude ass alien invaders.

So with the Corona Virus we made rules that have punishment of death attached if they are not followed precisely.

To further protect us in the future.

"What's your parenting plan?"

"COVID-19 and if we don't do it we will die"

Aliens will think again about settling in if for some reason they happen to make it to Eaerth.

Then we ruthlessly kill aliens "that wasn't age 19" no second chances..

Loop hole is all ages are treated as 19. So if they do treat us as age 19 because they studied before trying to invade...,well that happened to so and so when,they were 10 --- "we are informed you treated him like a 10 year old. You must be executed immediately"

19 at age 10. 10 at age 19.

You see? Air and water tight.

No one is fucking with our planet again.

Simply they will learn to stay the fuck off.

Don't worry m I break this down to nano if ever we're invaded.

But I built it beyond xyano to prevent it.

So we will be okay.

Work on being safe and taking care and enjoying life. Memorizing your new parental models of COVID-19

[hankeliza]

Hate to be cliche, but here goes.

This decade has been some shit. 2010. Best year of my life. I’m 17, I have my soul mate and best friend every single day of my life. No bills and making way too much money. I got the love of my life, Rome. I am so cool in my mind and just life was fucking GREAT. I met corbin that year and I was legit in absolute bliss.

Feb 2012 my best friend moves to fl and that was so great but I am in absolute shambles. I am lost I am unhappy. This is where it all goes wrong and only now, 8 years later do I realize the codependency issues I had with jenna. I fucking loved that chick from the depths of my goddamn soul, we could speak and make decisions and plans with just locking eyes for a blink of a second. So bc I am sad, lost and unable to make sense of my selfish and immature feelings, I take it out on her and a whole slough of klonopin. Corbin and I are doing bad and this is when it should’ve ended.

April 2012 (hah time is funny af) I do some shady shit, but not to the magnitude it was portrayed. Life moves on and I get back with corbin. This is my new person to rely on. I need him bc he stuck thru it with me and gained my whole hearted trust that he loves me, even when ugly and I love him through all of his ugly. We are ugly and we are in love and nothing in the world matters to me anymore besides him.

Oct 2012 I finally am ready to move outta stc. But corbins with me. I beg and beg and beg to please go to Tampa but nah, we go to Miami. It’ll be easier, Adam will take us in. He still is this big mature, always with it guy, I don’t know him, that’s why. We get there, nothing much to even talk about. Great times but eh. Leavin it at that. Shit happens and we get out of dodge like some fuckin thief’s in the night. Drive two days to portland. I won’t get into all the beautiful shit I saw bc that’ll take too long but, here we are.

I live with a naked hippie that is actually psychotic and oh, later on turns out she’s making us pay for a house SHE IS SQUATTING IN. But anyway, things happened (again adam) and we move to the city city. Won’t even get in to the shit that transpired there, but now I’m moving back home.

Feb 2013 (wow really seeing some timelines matching up of my most unpleasant times of my life?!¿¡) so I’m back home. I don’t sleep, I don’t eat. I think I weighed 110 while standing 5’8. My dads on parole, only time I see sunlight is when he needs to meet with his PO. Nicole nurtures me and literally does everything in her power to make me be better, but I am not ready to feel happiness or bond with any other human. I am not ready to move on or up or out. I am stuck. Corbin moves home. Ahhh yes. My safety blanket is back and I can be happy again (hahahah)

So in the meantime while I was sad Nicole and I are partying, late nights to meijer and rite aid, getting high and snacks and shit is just fucking awesome. She meets the love of her life and he takes her and even me in to his whole friend crowd and I am HAPPY and feel bliss again. I have friends? Imagine that. They fall madly in love and then heh, they move. Well shit. Now mind you I have totally capability to see them whenever I please bc Nicole is an open door policy. But truly I’m lazy, I like convenience and still wrapped up in my own stupid bitchass, (that I can now see, but then couldn’t) and it’s back to corbin and I.

So now it’s getting close to end of 2013 and all I pretty much do is spend every waking moment with corbin. I don’t mean to make that sound so awful, then I loved it. Now, it’s all so bleak.

2014 hits. I’m in and out of jobs. Corbin and I live off of pop can returns. I’m still 21 so like, none of that mattered and I didn’t care about a future. He gets a job and I finally get into the courthouse. We start doing ~molly~ heavy. Locking ourselves in a bedroom from Friday-Sunday. Every weekend. When you hear “ecstasy/drugs ruined my sex life” from older people, you don’t really know what to make of that. When I tell you drugs ruined our sex life and our likeness for each other, now I fucking get it. I stopped smoking weed 24/7 bc I was paranoid of losing my job. Not much more to that year or 2015 than chemical pills and being locked in a room and outdoor adventures with my dog.

2016, I finally convince corbin to {for the love of god} attempt to get his license back (which he did, and then ruined again, but that comes later) so we’re really making moves, honestly for us we were doing shit. We had a marker board calendar AND meeting our goals/deadlines !!! His dad gets oxys, and we’ve been borrowing his Vicodin for idk, a year or 3 at this point. This is kinda when things get fuzzy. But oxys come and got damn do they feel good. But only recreational. It wasn’t serious then.

Corbin gets prescribed adderall. Not much more we need to dive in to with that jazz but oxys and addies were all we ate until about the end of 2017. Pills are gone. Let’s fucking driiiiink.

2018

So I developed an alcohol issue at this point. Still battling it to this day. But I don’t really remember much. Did some cool shit, went to Europe. Met a girl that I’ve never loved kissing more. She was nuts. I moved out of our apartment we got together and back home, re-up w/ Rickey, we have fun. He cheats on me with the girl he got pregnant and neglected (they’re engaged now, congrats guys) I’m completely broken and alone because at this point i have managed to push every waking soul away from me and experience the weirdest fucking shit ever that I can only explain as spiritual, or maybe it was satanic. It burned and hurt and scared the ballsacks out of me. Can’t kill your self if you’re a pussy, turns out.

I spent this whole year trying to find friends, wrong crowd. I developed a relationship with a coworker who still to this day has my heart and soul and I love him and will always hope the best. He is the greatest comfort I had but it was only ever from 5pm - until we finished having drinks and sex and then back to being alone. I even confessed my confused love for him and he set me straight. He showed me more about being strong than anyone ever. I love you D.

The end of September I finally meet up with a dude I can’t take my damn eyeballs off for years. I finally mustered up the courage after making excuses for about 2 weeks why I couldnt meet up with him. So I come over. It’s raining so hard. I couldn’t find his house. I just wanted the god damn dick, and go home. He didn’t let that happen.

We see one another mainly every single day except Wednesday’s because he has plans that day every week. I tried my hardest to ghost him multiple times but he didn’t let that happen either. We are both drinking a lot because we are both sad but our company really really reaaaally made up for the sadness. He is the funniest person I’ve ever met and I think he thought that about me too.

November 21st comes and he is being weird and I am constantly nervous around him so I get weird bc I think I did something or he’s gonna tell me to go home, I didn’t know. He finally says he wants to be my man, like full time man. I have a bf? I don’t want one but something about you is fckin freaky you beautiful boy. Everything is coming together.

And here we go: December 21. 1 month is all it took to mess it up.

Leaving my work party, ironically after getting all of my drinks bought for me :) , I go to jail. Jail was not as bad as I expected. I was a good criminal so I got to sit in a different room w/ a tv until shift change. Oh and ! my high school classmate was a worker there so that was neat ! (jesuschrist) anyway; dont have Laynes number memorized, my family and I just watched my grandpa die, gasping for air 10 day prior. Can’t call my mom. Scared to call my dad (who was the nicest of anyone) soooooo corbin it is. I dealt with his jail problems time after time so, his turn I guess.

Welp it’s 2019. Not much to say. Layne stuck through all of it with me and I have no fucking clue why. Got a therapist. Stopped drinking whiskey completely. Bought a vacuum and couch. Live with my way too supportive boyfriend. My family fucking loves him. I am .... growing ? stronger ? mentally ? as every day passes ? because of him ? He teaches me so much about moving on, life and just thinking before doing. Life ain’t that serious. I love you Layne. I completely do. I started alcohol classes and I went in with such a shitty attitude, like I’m better than everyone? (Been my issue for, forever) I fucking love my group sessions. I am for once not alone with the unpopular shit I struggle with. Addiction is so real and I always thought it was a stupid ass excuse for being lazy but hahhhhhh karma loves me.

I’ve been struggling so hard with jenna. I have talked to a handful of people and most have said it’s been blown out of proportion but, don’t hurt your friends. I finally fucking wrapped it up when I got ahold of her, tried to anyway, before Christmas. I explained a lot, now that I’ve had years to sit back and reflect on myself and my bullshit and I can’t blame her (side bar: she still didn’t care lol.) But I am fuckin over it. My feelings got hurt to absolute fuck about some things and instead of being mature, I fucked her over, because I felt fucked over. But I’m sorry, I did that, I take responsibility and best wishes forever but an anvil weight has finally been lifted off my chest and I feel like I can finally move the fuck on and it’s such a great feeling to get rid of something that’s been eating me alive.

So basically, the last two years ate me the fuck alive. This year I meditated on shit. We will see how 2020 goes but I am ready considering what I’ve done to myself, been through and I still am fucking alive and trying. Being a human is dumb but it’s aight sometimes. Getting better. Good luck y’all.

[zotmoun]

[RANT] Naruhina vs Team 7 shipping

Not quite sure how to start a discussion using a component of a ship to go against another ship with the similar component. The “Naru” in these ships should all be of the same personality but the interaction with each member is slightly different. However it seems Anti-Hinata fans are projecting a difference in statuses.  Using this to be an anti Naruhina.

So to get started Narusaku(they call it heaven and earth lmao fuck that its more like parallulz , delusional and depression)

Parallulz

During the series everybody knew of Narusaku fandom’s desperate obession with parallulz. It seems while there is proof that Sakura resembles Kushina

there’s a ton of hatred towards Naruto being like Kushina.

Narusaku wont ever stop chasing down until Naruto has to parallel Minato because you know its desperately needs to be like Minakushi.

Im guesing since both Naruhina and Narusaku chasing down Naruto be like Minato they instantly forget what Kushina thought of Minato.

So by using this impression, could that make me an anti-minato fan even though this was what Kushina thought of him?

No but accordingly Narusaku fans think this is how to be anti-hinata

While noting”when i look at her” it seems Narusaku/anti -hinata kept ruining their own arguments because they like to say Naruto ignored her when his introduction of her is completely different. With parallulz in the ruins Narusaku fans move on to the next stage.

Delusional

Most Narusaku gained the impression by using cropped images of Naruto and Sakura makes them couple.

Ofcourse this later lead to an unhealthy obsession with Sakura’s image over her character that Narusaku fans seem to forget the big hint is SHES NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM. Nonetheless, i guess the obsession with Sakura’s image made them arguments towards Naruhina fans due to an introduction in rivalry for LOVE.

Sakura’s image became more of an impression of “anti-hinata” stance than ever.

As much as Sakura isnt in love with Naruto. Naruto has a crush on Sakura.

With this in the works Narusaku with the knowledge of Naruto’s crush and Sakura’s image only kept making fan edits while character of Sakura gets buried, many Narusaku fans have a hard time taking Sakura seriously.

While Sakura is yet to be taken seriously and with her use of dialouges Narusaku feels the third wave called depression.

Yes Narusaku fandom hits rock bottom in the saltiest ocean, however in the team 7 fandom , fans try to use Narusaku as a brotp while pushing it to be anti-hinata fraction. Im only focusing on the losers who wanted romantic suggestion and are depressed that Sakura doesnt really love Naruto.

Kicking off that Narusaku fans lead a big protest of always being obsessed with Sakura’s image only to put her down. Narusaku remains a fandom that makes themselves distant from the actual Sakura or even push in a self insert or worse, erase Sakura’s activities.

I mean this what a Narsaku fan wrote of Sakura.

“

In Road to Ninja, Sakura’s parents died as heroes in the alternate reality. At first, she seemed particularly pleased to be alone and appreciated that her parents were heroes instead of a goofy married couple. Her attitude changed very quickly and when she returned to the real world, she immediately hugged her parents in relief. “

Heck Road to Ninja where Sakura appeared to be very lively is completely written out of 80% of the plot. Narusaku fans voluntarily ignored 80% of the movie to show their constant depression while dealing with Sakura’s character.

Hell even Naruto: THE LAST , Sakura appears to very lively but get to be written and forgotten by the Narusaku fandom who claimed they are Sakura fans at heart. However they flocked to fanmade images of Sakura being sad.

man i wonder how’s that 600+ chapter of development lead to a ship which now bases its method on Sakura being sad.

Sasusaku

As much as i do love Sasusaku , there are notable fans that show disgust towards Naruhina. I dont necessarily bother with the dick measurements between Sasusaku and Naruhina fandom. matter of fact since Sasusaku and Naruhina dont really cross paths or share the same component. id not make an issue of them.

However there are Sasusaku fans who are against Hinata for breaking  team 7(again this made me laugh as this was mainly a Narusaku excuse) and there are Naruhina fans that are against Sakura for not wanting Naruto or the be exact there are Naruhina that think Sakura is hated for being useless.

Ofcourse Sakura is not useless and neither is Hinata They aren’t competing over the same guy so really its none of my concern. Each fandom has good moments and if one fandom wants to admit they are stupid by pretending to ignore those moments in order to compose a rant. then thats the case of showing that Naruhina and Sasusaku can make fans act in denial over ignoring dialouges and actions which benefited these ships.

Sasunaru( the sun and moon or id like to call worse excuse for a friendship)

Ofcourse Sasuke and Naruto are by-far the worse excuse of a friendship that its still unclear how people actually managed to whine about them online

.

Well following Team 7 rants which is anti hinata is trying subject Hinata for overlapping Sasuke’s position . Lots of SNS fans like to accuse Naruhina of stealing moments that belong to SNS trying to make Hinata look more important than Sasuke.

accordingly, SNS fans dont really take Sasuke seriously or dont ever bother reading his dialouges. However SNS fans seem to project Sasuke as someone who was more desperate of making Naruto his

HAHAHA that’s so funny Sasuke , you just dont want to tell Naruto how much you love him and great and developed your friendship is.

Nah its true we should ignore all that and spam nothing but cut off panels to show insight that Sasuke and Naruto are secretly lovers and soulmates.

Sasuke and Naruto definitely has an unbreakable bond but ofcourse its very flawed . This bond was created from a form of rivarly than getting along .

They are nothing close to what anybody even shounen jump would consider friends, they dont have any mutual or respective development cause that was never the case.

SNS fans reacted to the ending with disgust that Sasuke had met a terrible fate that Hinata has removed his importance from Naruto. Hinata has broken up team and the only way to save Sasuke from this awful fate is through DEATH.

I think DEATH is a little too far for a fandom that had to wait for 696 chapters for a small handshake.Which the fandom turned against because it wasnt a hug or anything.

[toganeshiro]

Victor Nikiforov May As Well Replace Your Smartphone

fandom: yuri!!! on ice

pairing: victor nikiforov/katsuki yuuri

rating: general audiences

genre: romance, domestic, fluff, humour

word count: 2176

warning(s): none

summary: Yuuri never thought by living with Victor Nikiforov, the living legend, would slowly reduce his need of his smartphone.

mirror link: fanfiction | ao3

Victor Nikiforov May As Well Replace Your Smartphone

Yuri!!! On Ice © Kubo Mitsurou

This is a work of fanfiction, simply written for the purpose of enjoyment and entertainment. I gain no financial profit from writing this.

i. He could be your alarm.

"Yuuri, wake up! We have morning practice today."

Groaning, his palm searched for the duvet and hoping he could pull them up to cover from the chill. Unfortunately, it was nowhere to be found. So instead, he settled for curling like a cat and burying his face on the pillow. He knew Victor had raised the curtain without even opening his eyes and he cursed under his breath.

He hated mornings.

Just as he was almost dozing off again, a hand shook his shoulder and he groaned louder than before.

"It's morning, Yuuri. Wake up wake up wake up wake up―"

"Let me sleep..." Yuuri finally mumbled out words, muffled by the pillow yet still audible.

"Nope! Wake up now or Yakov will be mad."

The bed sank near his sides and suddenly a full body weight weighted down on him, his eyes snapped open. "Victor! You're heavy! Get off of me!!"

Victor's arms rested on his shoulder blades with his head on top of them. His toned body should've weighted several kilos more than Yuuri considering his height but he lied comfortably on top of Yuuri, legs swinging back and forth.

"Then promise me you'll wake up~" His neck could feel Victor's breath in his every word, he shivered from the sensation.

"Okay okay!! I'm awake now!"

Giggles were clear on his ears as Victor removed himself from Yuuri. He exhaled a deep breath before searching for his glasses on the nightstand. He stretched his arms and back before walking towards their bathroom, yawning.

It was when his hand reached the doorknob that his phone went off with the alarm.

He returned to the bed and picked up his phone beside the pillow and turned off the alarm.

Ever since living with Victor and sharing the bedroom, he had always been woken up before his alarm went off. Usually he would be hitting the snooze button several times before actually waking up and regretting those extra minutes of sleep he took. In some other times―most of the times, actually―he would just sleep through the alarm ringing in the background.

Regret befell Yuuri every day.

Still, he repeated yet again the very next day.

Yuuri unlocked his phone and clicked on the clock settings. There were eleven alarms listed from 07:00 to 07:10 each having one minute gap.

But now with Victor waking him up every day, his alarm hadn't been doing its job.

He deleted them one by one until his alarm list was empty.

Victor was a better alarm, after all. Instead of just sounds in the background, Victor sometimes even dragged him to the bathroom and helped him brush his teeth. One effective morning alarm, Yuuri should say.

ii. And push notifications.

"Yuuri, Phichit mentioned you in Twitter."

"Your fans said on your tagged video that your step sequence is even more beautifully refined now."

"Wow, your photo reached 500 likes in the first five minutes. Your fans must be delighted you finally posted something."

"Oh, Chris said you look adorable in the photo I just uploaded. You should reply something, Yuuri."

"Yuuri! You really should come and read this thing one of your fans linked to you!"

"Yurio commented on your photo, Yuuri. Should I reply for you?"

Yuuri sighed.

He preferred turning off push notifications for his SNS since they distracted him most of the time. Reading nice comments were nice, but he would prefer to avoid the chance of reading harsh comments and ruining all his confidence for the day.

He wished they had options to filter the positive comments from negative comments.

Who would have thought Victor would gladly be his push notifications filtering only things he needed and wanted to know.

iii. Even be your personal music player.

Yuuri loved music.

He had a good number of songs stored in his phone. From classical to pop songs, video game soundtracks and even catchy Thai songs Phichit recommended. He loved listening to them when he's doing chores, waiting for people, or listening just for the sake of it. He brought his headset with him anywhere, in case he needed them.

But lately his headset had been kept neatly in his bag, only used in practice since he's sharing the rink.

"―che tu... hm―ato forse abbando―hmm..." Victor kept humming while his hands busy washing the dishes.

Yuuri stopped scrolling his Instagram feeds. The lyrics sounded familiar.

He had to say, in all honesty, Victor Nikiforov the living legend, was a bad singer. A really bad one. Out of tune, messy tempo, off pitch. The first time he heard Victor's singing, he had to stare full two minutes at the gorgeous man brainstorming the title of the song he was singing.

However, this time the lyrics caught his attention and he felt like he knew those lines.

Yet Victor wasn't really singing at the moment; he's half humming half singing and Yuuri had a hard time making out the title.

"Victor, do you know you're a bad singer?"

Victor stopped the work of his hands and looked over his shoulder to Yuuri who was resting his head on Victor's back. Face down with his phone hiding between himself and Victor's back. He didn't say anything so Yuuri lifted his head up to meet Victor's eyes―only to see him pouting, before muttering one word; "Rude."

And Victor continued with washing his dishes.

But he continued singing anyway and Yuuri leant his forehead to Victor's back again, smelling the detergent on Victor's sweater before resuming with the feeds of his SNS.

And after a few lines of lyrics Victor sang, Yuuri finally recognised the song.

Ah, it's Stammi Vicino, Non Te Ne Andare.

He hummed quietly following Victor's messy tunes as the lead while waiting for his fiancé to finish working with the dishes so he could give Yuuri the hug he needed.

Might not be the best music player, but Yuuri enjoyed the time he spent trying to figure out the song Victor's singing and humming along Victor's messy rhythm and tunes.

iv. Update your SNS.

After drying off his hand on the dryer, Yuuri took his phone from his pocket which had buzzed a few times while he was washing his hands. He checked and it was a text from Phichit.

dont go yet, I hav smth I need to give u!!

Yuuri frowned and replied, Don't go where?

dont go from the restaurant! I'm around the area, just give me 5 minutessss

He was about to type 'how did you know where I am?' but he stopped and cleared the text field. This had happened a few times before. He closed the text messaging app and opened his Instagram instead. It loaded up with Victor's post was on the topmost.

A photo of Yuuri happily enjoying his extra large serving of katsudon, checked in to the location of the restaurant they're at right now.

Oh.

Of course.

Even without needing to update his own SNS, all his information starting from his location, what he ate, even his activities for the day were all for the world to know through Victor's account.

v. Functions as your translator.

The shoes he tried on fit so well on his feet. But he still thought the colour was too striking for him. An attendant was standing near the display so Yuuri waved his hand and she approached him.

"Excuse me; do you have any other colour for this design?"

She gave him a quizzical look and Yuuri cursed inside his head.

Right, now that he wasn't really in tourism spot anymore of course he should have conversed in Russian and not English.

"Eta obuv'... duru―dru..." Oh shit. Yuuri can't remember the word he needed. He quickly fumbled his pocket to get his phone when someone's hand pressed firm on his shoulder. The voice calmed his getting-rapid breaths.

"What's wrong, Yuuri?"

Oh, Victor came back from the restroom.

"I wanted to know if they other colour for this pair of shoes."

Victor smiled and turned his head to the attendant, "Yest' li drugoy tsvet dlya etogo?"

"Da, pozhaluysta, podozhdite," she nodded and left for the storage room.

Yuuri sighed in relief.

He had been learning Russian bit by bit ever since knowing Victor personally. Yet the intention only solidified after he moved to St. Petersburg. He wanted to be able to at least do daily conversation, but with all their practice for the upcoming season―he just hadn't the time.

And since Victor would be helping him with communicating for the time being, he figured he could take his time before he's fluent in Russian.

vi. Free time? Why play games when you have Victor Nikiforov?

Yuuri had an app of MMORPG in his phone. There was an account with well-levelled character logged in it.

He wasn't as active as he was back in high school, being busy and all. But he made sure to log in occasionally just to the get daily log in bonus (which monthly stamps he never filled in anymore). Then when he had longer free time, he would play for an hour or two.

He loved video games. It's just not too compatible with his lifestyle at the moment.

He missed whole tons of special events and bonuses. Not that he could blame or complain to anyone.

Then lately Victor had been occupying his free time with any kind of activities. It could be just out for shopping or revising their programs. Making his account even more abandoned than before.

He loved his time being occupied with Victor, it was warm and soft and nice and comfortable.

But was he sure to leave his game he loved so much for this?

"I want a day in a week where I won't be disturbed at all for at least four hours."

"Why!?"

"I've been neglecting my game."

And just with that, Victor quietly complied and tried to fit their plans for shopping and other things on one day of the weekend and leaving the other day for Yuuri's game time. He thought it would be harder to convince Victor, but Yuuri was glad Victor understood without commenting more on it.

But of course, at first, whines could be heard from the four hours of Victor being neglected.

Yuuri felt bad for ignoring him and even pondering if he should cancel his request.

But the third week was quieter since Victor settled himself for reading his books on the same couch and tangling their feet in silence. Sometimes knees brushing, or simply leaning on another's chest feeling each other's warmth while doing their own things.

Victor was a good replacement for game time or so did the other way. But Yuuri decided he wanted both his Victor time and game time instead of one replacing the other.

vii. And probably be your reminder?

Weird.

Something had been bothering him since they returned from afternoon practice today. They got home and had lunch, then proceeded to laze on couch watching TV while Makkachin rested on their laps. It's almost evening and Yuuri still couldn't focus on the TV drama Victor loved―not that he could understand what they're saying even when he's focusing.

"Victor... Are we supposed to be somewhere this afternoon?" he finally asked.

"Mm... Nope. Why ask?"

"Just a feeling."

Was it just him, then? But the weird feeling as if he'd forgotten something still hadn't left his chest. Was it a promise for a meal with Yurio? No, he would've contacted them if they didn't show up otherwise. What about their shopping list? Probably there's a sale or something th―

"Ah!!!!" Yuuri nearly shouted, still loud enough to startle Victor.

Panicked, Victor asked, "W-what is it, Yuuri!?"

"Your dentist appointment―" No need to finish his words to get Victor wide eyed. Quickly taking his phone and noticed the time had long past their appointed time. Victor groaned, Yuuri followed.

"I should call them to apologize for this and make new appointment," Victor dialled the number from his contacts.

Yuuri sighed and unlocked his own phone too, accessing the Reminders. He had two lists on them, one of them was "Shopping List" while the other one was titled "Victor".

He accessed the latter and saw several lines there, empty check boxes on each of the lines' left side.

Release date for Victor's fav author's book 26/04/2017, 09:00 am

Buy Yurio a cat if he breaks his own record in Nationals

Meal with Chris Tomorrow, 01:00 pm

Interview with IFS magazine 11/02/2017, 10:00 am

Costume fitting 12/02/2017, 11:00 am

He never needed the app for his own interviews, costume fitting, appointments or promises. So now he wondered why he had to be the one keeping this list in his phone instead of Victor doing it on his own.

Reminders was one of the app that he ignored and sat quietly in the last page of his phone before, but now he's fully utilising the function of this app.

.

(Ah, unfortunately Victor Nikiforov still doesn't support Reminder feature.)

End.

a/n1: this turned out cuter than I thought.

a/n2: (sorry for if the Russian part was wrong, I used google translate since I know nothing of the language.)

a/n3: thanks for reading!!!