#dont mind me im screaming into the void

[milkyway-ahoy]

i need,,,, isat content but i dont wanna spoil anything for myself

i am in the shinji chair of despair i love this game so much. i need the craft bomb and i need the gay people

thank you for your time

[momotonescreaming]

question for the long fic writers - how the hell do you do this? because uuuuuhhh. i have a list of scene ideas and a dream and that's about it. help.

[grahamcrackerss]

Thinking about Will Grahams relationship with the ideals of family and how Will was so angry that he lost even the concept of a child with Margo, a woman he never really loved. He became so immediately intimate with the idea of being a father that it seemed like a cruel joke to have it torn from his hands by (to his understanding) Hannibal and his Web of intricate manipulation.

Yet, when faced with the concept of losing Molly, a woman Will DOES love and had spent time growing a proper life and family with, a woman who came with a child that accepts Will so easily and that Will is clearly already comfortable being paternal towards, there's the to-be-expected turmoil but also an eerily calm acceptance despite the fact that this also was an instance clearly influenced by Hannibal.

Why, when faced with losing a family he built on his own, is Will not seemingly nearly as angry as he was over a child that was barely even a concept?

I can't help thinking about how Will must have known that he wasn't going to hold this life for long- this facade of a family. That no matter what, he knew that even with Hannibal behind bars, he wouldn't be finished with him so easily.

I just think about how Will, after tucking their boy in at night (his son at this point) and kissing Molly goodnight after settling beside her, would stay wide awake staring at the roof. I think about how he would probably spend hours tracing his fingers over that so called smile on his lower stomach thinking about how he's got everything he ever wanted, and yet something within him still yearns for an older sting long since healed that he misses. Almost boiling under the surface of that scar. Something he thought he'd never think twice about ever again.

I think about Will's slow realisation over the time that Hannibal's locked away that maybe his dream of always having a family weren't as forefront as they used to be. And maybe, alongside knowing he'd never be fully free, there was also something tugging that told him he didn't really want to be. That his palette had changed and so had his appetite for normalcy.

It's like Will was almost relieved to have Hannibal, despite his compromised position, take a baseball bat to his white picket fence.

The fact that Hannibal gave him everything he ever wanted and it still wasn't enough - it's as if Hannibal had pulled back the curtains to what Will really craved despite being entirely unable to be there physically himself.

Do you think about how - when the world really did become maddeningly polite- the only person Will could think of was Hannibal.

[sketchy-tour]

Genuinely, I wonder if my fear of being seen as annoying by commissioning oc x canon is silly or not.

I always get so actually worried that the person I'm commissioning will think I'm weird or if it's an artist who's in the fandom with me I get all worried they probably already draw a lot of oc x canon of the character i like and maybe they're tired of it

How many times can one artist draw Wally Darling kissing a bunch of different ocs before they hate it? Dksjfjkskdjd

[fadeintolight]

pont pont vesszőcske

[mydiazboys]

buck is grey, eddie is blue. eddie 100% used the last of buck's favourite expensive lotion which caused this convo the power of eddie's NAH

[jellyfishdooter]

.

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

.

[buildingunderstanding]

I think I realized this morning part of my issue with the concept of reincarnation is how much I have hated this life.

I am deeply passively suicidal and have been since I was about twelve. I run on a baseline of vaguely dissociated that makes it very hard for me to be present and find joy and passion in life. And I don't know if it can be fixed.

I've done system work, I've done the grounding techniques, and it still feels like most of my "positive" emotions are felt through a wall. Like I'm just experiencing bleed through from another part, never feeling it directly.

And I've seen people talking about how time is happening all at once so we can just as easily be reincarnated into what we perceive as the past as we can the future. And maybe it's just the nihilism in me, but I really struggle to believe the future is actually going to be better than the present.

I struggle to believe that life gets better and that any other life I experience might be better than this one. And I am so tired of being alive. It doesn't feel fair to have to continue coming back and living again and again when my experiences in this life have already been so miserable.

I mean, yeah, it hasn't been the worst it could be, but it's upsetting because it's the result of repeated failings by the adults in my life throughout my childhood. Adults who are the result of the failings of their own childhoods. And it feels like this horrible cycle of people being failed over and over again and constantly creating misery for the next generation because of it.

It's frightening to think I might have to live through another cycle of misery and it disgusts me to think that I might live through a cycle perpetuating it.

I want out.

[skyllion-uwu]

Sakana sakana sakana sakana sakana

さかな さかな さかな さかな さかな

魚 魚 魚 魚 魚

[copper-dragon-in-disguise]

how the fucking hell do I have a lower grade in honors history than I had in AP history????? how????

[fshenkoescape]

The whole Unity thing is such a cool concept because this playthrough i hated it because why would my dusty leave her LI but at the same time if I HADN'T saved him and he'd died, she would JUMP at the chance to do it all again. So like this playthrough I did nooot wanna do it but sitting and thinking about it it's cool how one mission played out would totally change my outlook

[predninja]

Not me drawing BG3 doodles before, giving myself more angst comic ideas. Of which I'm overdue in doing anyways

Hint: it has to do with Eligar's long lost bro

[notmysunglasses]

What does it mean to be a woman?

Soft femininity, blushing and demure to those with masculine strength

Tinkling laughs and delicate blushes

Elegant and graceful, all curves and curls

Silky hair, plush skin, warm smile

Serenity and peace presented to the world on the most perfect of faces

Is that what makes a woman?

Gritting of teeth and biting of tongues

Crying, bleeding, shedding both the internal lining and deepest wants as the cycles change

Fighting and screaming for a place in the world, never to be heard

Going to bed beaten and sore just to get up and shoulder burdens others can never ease

World weary eyes, broken by the world that never allows for healing before the pain begins again

Maybe womanhood is found in the middle?

The fine line between delicate and strong

Independent but still submissive

Do it all, show no cracks

Take care of the world

All while on a tightrope with no net to break the inevitable free fall to cement

What will we tell the daughters still here and all the daughters to come?

Grow strong just not strong enough to be a threat

Use your voice till someone louder comes along

Relish in what changes have been made so far

At least we've made it further than women of the past

Who sit with haunted eyes of days gone by wishing to be young again

Has the idea of what a woman is been lost to complacency?

Women work, vote, drive, even own their own land

Women can do anything just so long as they stay in their station

Build up, but not beyond the reach of high heels

Because no good comes from reaching for stars

For just a brief touch of freedom

What does it mean to be a woman?

It means everything, yet nothing at all

It means to be praised in one breath and torn down in the next

It means walking the invisible line in shoes that were never meant to be practical

It means being alive without ever truly being human

It means living life, trying to swim in a world without ever being taught to tread water

What does it mean to be a woman?

[moosekababs]

ok storytime and i will make this quick. forgot my sleeping pills the night before last, got approximately two hours of sleep then got up at 1 am and did all my work for the day, shaved my head, took a shower, then layed down and read fanfiction all day until my dad came home and brought me graham crackers so i finally ate something. TOOK MY BEDTIME PILLS CORRECTLY this time slept good last night GOT UP.

GOT TO WORK.

hankering for soup. "i wonder if we have any soup?"

2.5 hours later i get up and check. we have soup, exactly the kind i wanted. one can. i open it. i make it. i sit down with it.

"boy this soup kinda smells funny... but i cant remember what food looks like. i am probably just being a little freak about food again its probably fine" TAKE A BITE.

its not . Good.

call my mom "hey could this soup go bad inside the can if the can was sealed" yeah probably but its not very likely, whats up with it? "bad smell. bad taste. looks weird." yeah ok don't chance it, toss that out

confused. pour the soup out. cry about it inside because it was the ONLY can.

check the can

best by date 4/22/22

FUCK.mp4

go back to my desk

have become lightheaded during this farce.

NOW IM SITTING HERE, NO HAIR, NO SOCKS, UTTERLY FUCKING SOUPLESS

its not fucking fair

[tei-to-tei]

*shouts into the small void that is this blog*

hey you guys ever start coloring something that started out as a sketch but now has detailed lineart and then realize it's all a hot mess and then you debate on trashing the whole damn thing and rolling up like a little pill bug on the floor while the same song plays over and over again in your headphones because you're clinically insane or-