#dont mind me and my clown make up

[madmaddoxfuryroad]

getting in on the fun because i only have few days left to wear my clown make up with pride.

as much as i would love to see a full confirmed tedbecca endgame, i am not the most confident in that happening at this point. and even though i might be a little bummed, i would be okay with them not going there so long as they really take the time to acknowledge just how fundamentally important these two have been to one another and give their relationship the attention it deserves in this last episode.

with that being said, i believe it would truly be a disservice to these two characters if we did not get an “i love you”. and before you write me off as tedbecca trash (i mean, i am but not the point) HEAR ME OUT. i don't NEED it to be in a romantic context at all. in fact, the one thing i keep coming back to that gives me quite a bit of comfort is how 30 rock handled jack and liz.

if tedbecca really is nothing more than platonic soulmates, they still deserve no less than what jack and liz got in their finale. which was honestly a beautiful scene that paid respect to the relationship between these two characters. that acknowledged how indispensable they had been to one another. that made me cry. and if they can do that on a show like 30 rock, that never took itself too seriously and was often irreverent about so many things, surely a show as earnest as ted lasso would do AT LEAST this.

what might this scene look like you ask? oh don't worry. i got you covered.

to preface: i like to think of it as a sort of hybrid of the 30 rock jack/liz finale scene and the fantastic beasts newt/tina scene before he gets on the boat all wrapped up in an airport scene because of course it is. 

i am operating on the popular assumption that ted told rebecca at the end of the last episode that he is moving back to the states. and as such, some of the finale episode is focused on ted trying to have dedicated moments with each character as a way to say goodbye (ie. crown & anchor one last time with beard). 

so i would think that for rebecca it would be their last biscuits with the boss. but due to plot reasons (maybe rebecca is off helping bex with her divorce or whatever that storyline is going to be), they are unable to get the timing right and that last moment never happens. 

ted, taking a page out of doctor sharon’s book, decides he will at the very least write her a goodbye letter. he pairs it with a fresh box of biscuits, along with the recipe, and leaves it all with higgins to give her. 

rebecca, however, does not take this as an acceptable send off. when presented to her, her expression is unreadable, but almost looks angry. she snatches the letter from higgins and marches out. 

~airport scene~

ted is in the airport with henry (yes i decided he comes to london to see the last match and if this does not happen, i blame michelle). they are walking toward their gate.

rebecca: (spotting ted & henry) THEODORE LASSO!

her tone carries across the terminal. she sounds angry. ted’s head snaps up. he sees her almost immediately. he looks confused. rebecca continues making her way toward them. once she is almost in front of the two, ted leans down to henry.

ted: hey bud, why don't you go buy us a pretzel and i’ll catch up to you in a sec?

as ted is saying this he is searching his pockets for money. at the same time rebecca is already in front of them. her expression softens a little toward henry. she pulls out cash from her pocket.

rebecca: (handing henry the money) it’s on me.

henry examines the bill.

henry: this is a hundred pounds.

rebecca: and keep the change. (&take that doctor jacob)

henry looks to his dad for permission. ted just shrugs. henry takes this as the green light to go get his pretzel. he runs off contentedly. ted turns his attention back to rebecca whose expression has returned to angry. 

rebecca: (holding up the letter) what the fuck is this?

ted: (still looking confused) did you read it?

rebecca: no i didn’t fucking read it. what the fuck is this?

it’s subtle, but her tone shifts from pure anger to anger laced with hurt.

ted: yeah, i’m sorry about that. i wanted to say your goodbye in person, but you were busy all day and then before i knew it i had to make like a tree and leave (looks up, sees rebecca is unamused. this is not the time for folksy wordplay) ...for my flight. 

rebecca is still holding up the letter. this did not answer her question. ted takes the hint and continues. 

ted: but i didn't want to go without saying anything so i wrote that and left it with higgy for when you got back. 

rebecca nods. taking in what he is saying. she folds the letter into quarters. creasing it a couple times, mulling over her next words. 

rebecca: (much softer now. but the hurt is still audible) did it ever occur to you that you’re not the only one who needs to say goodbye, ted?

comprehension finally dawns on ted. a contrite look crosses his face, but he stays silent. he knows she is not done speaking.

rebecca: because i cannot fathom the idea of you back in kansas not knowing exactly how much you have meant to richmond. and to me.

she gives a soft smile. he meets her eyes, wordlessly telling her she can go on. 

rebecca: (somewhat pulling back from the moment) i hope it’s something you already know. so perhaps me making the point of saying this is a terrible waste of your time. and now that i’m thinking about it this whole dramatic airport chase is starting to feel a bit foolish. i’m sorry. i shouldn’t’ve––

ted: oklahoma.

ted has not broken his gaze the whole time. rebecca meets his eyes again, a little surprised at how quickly he cut her off. she nods. 

rebecca: right. then. i’ll just say it. because this is something you of all people deserves to not only know but to hear. 

beat. 

rebecca: and it’s the best way i can properly express how profoundly important to me you have grown. 

beat.

rebecca: so i’m just going to say it now. 

longer beat. rebecca is struggling to say what she wants to say. her eyes are starting to grow glassy, but not quite tear-filled. 

rebecca: i don't know why this is so difficult. what i am trying to say...

rebecca closes her eyes, trying to recapture the confidence she had at the start of the conversation. 

ted: it’s okay. you don't have to. (simply) i love you, too. 

rebecca’s eyes dart back open to meet ted’s. her expression is blank for a moment then she quickly pulls him into a hug (very truth bomb #1), which he immediately reciprocates. she hugs him a little tighter.

rebecca: i love you.

still in the hug, ted cracks a smile. 

ted: hey. there it is. 

they break apart. ted is still grinning. rebecca is wiping away a tear, but smiling as well. 

ted: now that wasn’t so bad.

rebecca lets out a tear-filled laugh and lightly shakes her head ‘no’. she smiles back at him. 

she wipes her eyes again, happy with herself that she was able to say what she wanted to say. 

rebecca: well, then. off you pop!

rebecca gives him a nod, letting him know he can go back to his son. ted turns back toward henry. about halfway he stops and looks back at rebecca, who is still standing in the same spot. she gives him an encouraging smile and a small wave, which he returns. 

once she sees ted has rejoined henry, rebecca smiles to herself, turns on her heel, and starts to leave. 

henry: rebecca!

rebecca turns back at the sound of her name and sees henry running toward her, pretzel in hand. ted is jogging behind him. 

henry: i wanted to say thank you.

rebecca: oh no need to thank me. you’re very welcome for the pretzel. 

henry looks down at his pretzel.

henry: oh not that! well, thank you for that too, but i meant thank you for everything you've done for my dad. it made it a lot easier being away from him knowing he has nice people like you who care about him over here.

rebecca: (looking at ted) well he certainly does. (turning to henry) it was my pleasure, henry.

rebecca extends her hand to henry. they shake. 

ted puts his hand on henry’s shoulder.

ted: come on, bud, we should get over to the gate and let rebecca head home. 

henry: okay. we’ll see you tomorrow?

rebecca: (deeply confused) sorry, what’s tomorrow?

henry: the first digital biscuits with the boss, karlie kloss!

rebecca shoots ted a look. ted raises his hands in surrender and points to henry. 

ted: all his idea. and only if you’re up for it. but we figured we could facetime you. even if it’s just once a week or once a month and––

rebecca: that sounds wonderful. 

rebecca beams at ted and henry. 

ted: good. well, we best be going. say goodbye.

henry: (waving while already turning away) bye, rebecca!

rebecca: bye, henry!

ted takes a step toward rebecca. he reaches for the letter that has been clasped in her hand this whole time. he undoes the extra folds she had nervously made, until it resembles how it looked when higgins first gave it to her (save for the additional creases).

ted presents it back to her. 

ted: goodbye, rebecca.

rebecca: (carefully taking the still unopened letter) goodbye, ted.

they hold each other’s gaze for one beat longer. and then he is back with henry walking toward the gate. they don't look back again. 

~cut to~ rebecca in the back of her car leaving the airport.

she is looking out the window, but redirects her gaze to the letter still in her hand. rebecca finally gives in and opens the letter. 

she pulls out a piece of paper with a single sentence written on it. she rereads it a couple times over, smiling to herself: i think i’ll miss you most of all. 

i was going to end it at off you pop. but i couldn’t resist giving henry the chance to interact with rebecca since we were robbed of this dynamic. i think i got a little off message along the way. well i hope you enjoyed this chaos anyway.  

**bonus details for the shippers I left out of the scene: -when ted is searching his pockets for cash, he pulls out the green matchbook again -part of the reason this interaction can take place at all is because the flight had been delayed. due to weather. thunder and lightning.  -and as part of his thank you to rebecca, henry gives her another army man, so hers doesn’t get lonely. and he mistakenly calls it a green matchbook army man (ted politely corrects him, it is a matchbox army man, but the damage is done)

[fruitsofhell]

I am amazed by so much about Hazbin Hotel now that I'm finally, FINALLY watching it. There's so much to comment on but I have GOT to get this out of the way that has been distracting me going into the final episode. I need you to know that I'm like grimacing in a mix of pain and amusement rn. I feel like a teacher about to tell a student their essay earned the most entertaining F I've ever seen.

I want to do a little case study in Vivziepop's design ethos in the Cannibal Town bit y'know. I don't have the steam to write a full essay right here but I will try to get into this and how it relates to something that so fascinates me about her art. I was a fan of Vivziepop back in like 2014 when she first gained some notoriety in the animation community from her Die Young short and I watched nearly every piece of her old art content where she expressed her character designs and story ideas. I was really invested in them when I was younger, I thought and still do think her designs and ideas are very evocative in a good way, but which have slowly unraveled with time and scrutiny in all respects.

In her show... there's a district in hell run by cannibals, and the WHOLE gag of them is that instead of being your usual sort of racist stereotype they're a kitschy little victorian looking district who still sing about loving consuming flesh and blood and all that. See, this was evocative IN 2014, but it's not 2014. Which is not really interesting to say in itself because the show is utterly drowning in early 2010s Hot Topic-ass design sensibilities that I will probably talk about some other time, what I'm really getting at is the hypothetical thought process behind this.

Vivzie is a lover of all things impish and vintage, so of course in hell she thinks there should be a place full of cannibals who go beyond the usual stereotypes. And in her mind she's imagining how evocative the idea of smiling genteel demons running around eating human fingers is and goes with it. And a plus for her, it skirts around the racialized baggage attached to the taboo of cannibalism, maybe she even thinks its anti-racist to spin things like this. But like. It really really just stops there.

Hazbin Hotel wants to use its framing of heaven and hell to make a social commentary on morality obviously, and in the way its doing it it also is creating a sort of statement on class. There is this idea of moral meritocracy that angels are exploiting to keep themselves and those humans they like above those they dislike for arbitrary reasons, and just in the language - written and visual - of how heaven and hell are distinguished you see this slums vs metropolis thing going on. But I mean, someone else can probably tell you about how busted it is so I won't get into it, I'll just say that comparing hell to any sort of metaphor for a ghetto where disadvantaged and flawed people are grouped together unsafely looks bad for Vivzie lol.

This is where I come back to Cannibal Town which is so so so SO obviously a chance to make the most blunt-obvious social commentary on human exploitation that Vivzie just DOESN'T cause she finds people in victorian pristine garb talking about eating flesh funny and that is the full extent of her conversation on these ideas together. There's really really nothing else it seems that Vivziepop feels like saying about a kitschy upper-middle class town of people who eat other people other than isnt it funny when upper-middle class people want to eat others. And it does boggle my mind when so much other talk of exploitation, abuse, and class stratification is so laid bare on the table of this show.

In design and narrative this show really likes to touch on these deep but kinda basic tenets of social commentary but keeps doing the 2014 Hot Topic reversal of motifs and then just leaves that there like its something in itself. MMMaybe we could be doing more to say something about how when a bunch of people are arbitrarily thrown together in a lawless area under very broad assumption of moral degeneracy some seek to wield powers over others by reinforcing their simultaneous dehumanization. And how then those slumlords try to sell scraps of privilege to enrich themselves and stuff and how bad that is.

Like we kinda do sometimes, but then you have Cannibal Town which could have so fucking obviously been about liiiike??? IDK, the overlord of the area is someone who takes peoples souls and then gives them an insatiable urge to consume both physically and material goods that is symbolized through cannibalism and exploitation of other demons so that they are further reliant on the overlord??? ANd they all sit in their little village thinking theyre above others because they keep everything so orderly only by running themselves on the exploitation and consumption of other human resources. I don't even fucking know man but I just know that the Cannibal Town in the show is nothing but a joke and wank session for Vivziepop's historical fashion fetish and it drives me up the wall.

I want to be really invested in the politics of this world but this Vivziepop motherfucker just wants to create things like the town of white middle-class victorian cannibals for the lolz.

[perilegs]

i know astrology is fake but i'm not too keen on how a lot of people on this website seem to be clowning on it as a hobby a bit too hard. i swear the woman who thinks it's neat how she and her friends with the same sun sign are all similar isn't trying to say that you are who you are born as and there is nothing you can do to change it. it's a hobby. an interest. what happened to finding meaning and joy in the small things. does it affect you if someone enjoys tarot reading or crystals. does it make you upset someone has interests that they enjoy.

[graveyarrdshift]

BESTIE WHAT IS THIS I HEAR ABOUT LOVER GETTING A DELUXE AND EUROPEAN DATES TOMORROW

watch taylor not announcing anything or just new merch lol

[the-s1lly-corner]

could I request creepypasta x reader who can take their head off

Various crps x reader who can take their head off

pretending that i didnt tear up the roof of my mouth while eating my dinner shhhshhhh ignoring that my bottom front teeth rest on the roof of my mouth right where its all torn up thus making me hyperaware and by extension making me clench and grind subconsciously characters: jeff the killer, laughing jack, ticci toby, eyeless jack notes: reader is gn, reader isnt really human but theyre written to look human, focusing on first reactions cws: none unless you found taking ones head off as body horror? does it count? im not sure tbh.. mentions of anatomy and stuff in ejs part.. canon typical violence

LAUGHING JACK

finds it so cool, entertaining even... i like to think that he has "clown physics" to him, but im unsure if being able to dethatch limbs would be one... if he cant take his own head off hes going to be a tad bit jealous of you

sometimes yoinks your head and holds it up to his height so you can "see the world from his perspective", this is more likely if youre significantly shorter than him

if you allow it hes going to juggle your head or even "go bowling" with it... you... may get dizzy though, so agree with caution

if your head is loose and has a habit of falling off hes going to take it as a win if it falls as you laugh at one of his jokes

EYELESS JACK

honestly? not all that phased by your little party trick, at least hes not grossed out by the clear view of your necks insides- hes seen those plenty of times... both in the form of images as well as in person when hes needed to silence someone

that said looking at in tact neat remains is different than seeing it all messed up or in a diagram, so if you dont mind he would like to take a look at least once... totally not making notes for future reference

not many questions otherwise, surprisingly... i mean hes a man eating demon of sorts who mostly gets nutrients from eating the organs of humans- he doesnt have much place to ask you what you are exactly or what caused this sort of thing to happen

doesnt ask you to show off your trick, finds no interest in asking you to take your head off and goof off with it unlike some of the others

TICCI TOBY

oh! thats his partner taking off their head.... OH! THATS HIS PARTNER TAKING OFF THEIR HEAD- he... genuinely needs a second to process what hes looking at because it catches him so off guard, you only told him you had a party trick to show him

lots of questions, main one being how and why- were you not a living human this whole time? a little betrayed that you didnt tell him sooner, actually- and even if you did, why didnt you show him this sooner?

traces his fingers along your neck where it separates, after you put your head back on- even more impressed if theres no mark left behind

like jeff, hes going to try to get you to play some jokes on people- though its likely hes going to pull them on masky and/or hoodie

sometimes carries your head around with him while hes working- ignore how morbid of a sight thatd be..! he just wants some company without making it too obvious!

JEFF THE KILLER

stares wide eyed for a few seconds... ignoring that he doesnt have his eye lids anymore so hes always looking at you wide eyed-- thinks he may have actually lost it for a second before cracking up

probably one of the last things hes expected you to do but hey, he thinks its pretty wicked!

oh hes definitely going to try to get you to use your quirk to scare some unsuspecting people who are walking around- perhaps do it late at night for some added effect? and if they lash out he can always swoop in and come to your aid

will push your head off of your neck if youre being a smartass or generally lightly getting onto his nerves- not a hard push, but enough to knock your head loose

[talkbycolor]

jester-shaped fucktoy

A/N; have you ever had sex with a clown? It sounds like honk honk with every thrust

Pairing; "Damon" x AFAB!Reader (im starting to consider to make the reader no tits, no pussy, no dick, just a barbie doll with a hole man)

CW; this is a little gross ngl, just sweaty sex / unprotected sex, semi-public sex, creampie, just like the hentais teached me / rough sex, heavy overstim, fucking like animals just like the song / circus scenario, porn without plot / this is just smut but hey, dont be shy and request something / this counts as an AU?

You were never the main attraction of the show, a jester whose only function was to demonstrate clumsiness in presentations, a cute clown.

So how did you end up spread-eagled in your dressing room?

There was a man in reddish clothes thrusting into your fat pussy, you didn't even know his name, you had barely finished the show that night when he showed up at the door of your trailer proclaiming to be a big fan.

"AH SHIT! FUCK! RIGHT THERE!" You moaned as your trembling hands tried to hold onto his shoulders, you screamed so loudly that your circus buddies could probably hear you from their trailers, the guy was huge compared to you, he grunted and howled every time his thick penis wedged itself between the folds of your abused Damn, it was like having sex with a wolf instead of the adorable fan who had sheepishly introduced himself a couple of minutes ago.

Because you had just had a performance, you were so sweaty and having sex right now only made it worse, you were melting in his arms as he fucked you against the dresser in your dressing room, practically dripping as your clown makeup ran down your cheeks, combined with sweat and pleasurable tears from being fucked so well.

"P-Please, PLEASE! I'M GOING TO PISS!" You whimpered, your body reacting on its own, saliva dripping down your chin as you begged him to slow down, your ass ached from the clash of skin and your peach was as red as your lipstick.

"Hey, is everything okay in there?" Someone knocked on the door of the trailer, which shook a little from the intense movement of the event that was happening inside. The stranger with fangs only growled when he heard a new voice wanting to interrupt the fun.

"Everything's fine! t-everything is perfect, give me a second!" You warned, putting all your effort and self-control into ensuring that your words didn't come out like the desperate screams of a whore who was being fucked at that moment.

The person outside the dressing room had probably understood the situation long before hearing you so no one else asked again.

Making out wildly with a fan inside your trailer while he put his penis in your hole was not something you had in mind due to the hectic life you had.

But hell, it wasn't something you turned down either.

Not long after, you choked a scream in his throat as you reached your orgasm, feeling like you were choking on the stranger's tongue, your breathing was erratic and your body was shaking violently, you had already come but he didn't stop, moving his hips like a dog. wanting to knot and fill you completely.

"You'd look so adorable swollen with my seed, you wouldn't mind me inseminating you, right?" He spoke between grunts, they weren't even coordinated thrusts anymore, his voice sounded so agitated as he panted like a dog in search of his orgasm.

"This fucking pussy is all mine, I'm going to fill you so many times that you won't be able to appear in any performance for a whole week, you'll spend those days getting out all the semen that I'm going to put in you" He said as he gently chewed your ear, his tongue going shamelessly on your sweaty skin, biting your neck until leaving several marks in shades of carmine and violet.

At that point he was just desperately licking every drop of sweat from your body, he was also dripping and not just semen, the splash between skin was a combination of precum and sweat, and the entire trailer smelled of sex.

"But how easy, you offer your ass to every fan who talks to you?" That sounded a little more threatening, like he was genuinely angry and the thought of you being with others was enough to make him furious.

So furious that he grabbed your hips until he left violent marks.

"F-FUCK! P-PLEASE! I HAVE NOT BEEN WITH ANYONE, ONLY WITH YOU!" You moaned between whimpers at the delicious pain, now he moved with more force, you could almost swear that you felt the head of his penis making an effort to enter your cervix.

Overexertion made you a stupid whore, you had urinated yourself even when he was pounding into you, isn't that pathetic? You were drooling shamelessly and your head was ringing as you didn't even recognize what was happening, you just knew that he felt too good despite having your cunt numb from the amount of stimulation he was receiving.

Grinding his hips against your entrance finally brought about his orgasm, cumming in large quantities until your belly looked a little more swollen, proud of that work he spread your legs in a perfect split, you were quite flexible after all.

As for you? A trembling doll that only let out pathetic gasps and his head was too screwed to be able to say coherent words, you even laughed softly.

The guy brought his forehead together with yours and kissed your lips, your lipstick was already a disaster so you returned the kiss more than gladly.

"I'm Damon, and I was serious about being a big fan…can we go on a date?"

He introduced himself even though you probably couldn't even figure out what was going on, you could only whimper with a satisfied smile.

"I… sure" You smiled exhausted.

♡

[ransprang]

Can I request headcanons for bg3 (basically the whole party) for the holiday seasons? (Fem aligned pronouns) Where reader was isekai'd from our world and she asks the party about holidays and is kind of bummed out theres nothing really similar to Christmas since its one of her favorite holidays. So When it gets cold out reader buys everyone a gift and wraps it with birch bark to surprise everyone? If you dont want to do the holiday thing maybe just reader who gets Isekai'd and has zero idea what to do and is really scared of everything because she has no idea whats going on?

hii thank you for the request, and have a happy holiday season!

BG3 x Christmas HCs

Astarion

looks at his Christmas gift “what in the hells is that?” “Is it poisonous or does it explode?” He just can’t fathom you’re just giving him a present. No ones ever been kind to him let alone share festive gifts. Eventually he will show up at your door naked “Is this a ‘Christmas’ enough present for you?”

He can’t stop laughing when you convince the rest of the camp to wear Christmas hats, “Clowns.” He calls them. You have to nudge him hard for him to stop ruining the festive spirit.

⁠”Is this Santa of yours a vampire? I mean..if he only comes out at night and punishes the naughty ones,” he gives you a smirk

Withers

"Ah the annual rite of gift-giving on the solstice. I do not value such material possessions but the sentiment is not lost on me." He will accept your gift but you will never see him use it.

Will show up at camp wearing a small Santa hat on his bald head. Will not answer any questions about it.

Sometimes you think if you hear him humming jingle bells but you can never make out the words because it's in some archaic dead language.

Laezel

touched your present with a stick “What is that? Are you trying to kill me?” She has a disgusted expression. Why would you spend your time getting her a gift instead of finding a solution for the parasite?

After a while of convincing, she’s ready to open it. She has a soft smile and doesn’t let it show that it actually made her warm even for a second.

After you sit her down and tell her the Christmas lore she rolls her eyes “Your kind disappoints me.” You tell her about the magic of Christmas as she smirks condescendingly “Whatever go do your thing, I’ll watch.”

Once she learns the carols and traditions there is no stopping her. She’s a woman who believes in long-standing institutes and traditions and she will uphold yours with pride too when she gets used to it.

Halsin

the way this man would hug you after receiving a gift ugh. you cannot tell me gift giving isn't one of his love languages, so he'd really really appreciate it

he keeps a very open mind while listening to you talking about Christmas and the traditions you practice. Being a druid he has his own rituals and beliefs which others judge so he is open

whittles you a wooden figurine of your favorite animal or of your pet from your world if you can describe it in detail

he would love the gift exchanging part of the tradition. he’d get everyone a gift, not as intricate as the one for you though. Maybe more so around herbs, flowers and potions

Shadowheart

"oh my, a present.. for me?" she'd be surprised that you even thought of getting her a gift

when she unwraps the gift she'd have a small smile on her face, "thank you y/n. this is very thoughtful of you. i'll remember this."

she’d be tad jealous that your beliefs are so fun. she’d lowkey wish Shar/Selune had celebrations that got people together

Gale

"A present? for me?", being locked up in his tower for so long he is quite taken aback.

"Why, where are my manners, thank you y/n. I do wish you told me about this tradition of yours. I'd have gotten you something. No matter, once we get the guests in our brains out, I'll make sure to get you something."

he'd use his magic to try and conjure up snow no matter where the party is camping

Minsc

Minsc gets very excited by whatever you get him since it's the thought that counts. "Look at what y/n got us Boo"

he sees how your eyes light up as you talk about Christmas so he gets equally excited for you

Minsc would dress up Boo in a red hat and green jacket (don’t ask how he got them)

nooooooot the best gift giver. he isn’t crafty, so he may end up making you arrows and a bow. but his smile is so big and bright that you’ll have to pretend to really like it

Wyll

He surprises you with a thoughtful gift before you can even give him one. His noble upbringing covered the strange Christmas customs of your land.

"To have you in my life is gift enough, my love. You didn't have to get me anything, your smile alone would have sufficed." Nonetheless, he accepts your gift with an elegant bow.

You both do a slow waltz to every single Christmas song you hear, no matter what the tempo or the lyrics are. You are simply too lost in each others' eyes to care.

Karlach

"Presents! For me? You're kidding!" She would run around camp like an excited toddler with her gifts. You would have to remind her to calm down so she wouldn't burn down the place.

"Thank you, soldier. I love it so much," she would grin at you. She would ask a lot of questions about Christmas and fall in love with the holiday. Gifts, food and wine, all of it would sound amazing to her after spending so many years in Avernus.

She would get really into the celebrations and her joy would be infectious. Watching her bust out her hip-hop moves during Silent Night would be the highlight of your evening.

Jaheira

"Oh, you got me a gift? How nice. See you can be kind to your elders." She would make fun of you in the moment but appreciate the gift nonetheless.

"It's not a knitted blanket for grandma, is it? I'm not ready to retire just yet."

Being a druid, she's not interested in the religious elements or traditions but joins in heartily for the eggnog and anything else booze-related.

your gifts,

admins sar, san & sav

[kaceythecrunch]

RANT. (sturntok.)

Yall. Im so mad. Sturntok pisses me the fuck off to the point it isn't even funny anymore. This might be messy, so bare with me.

Tara. Why the fuck is everyone pressed about Tara hanging out with the triplet, specifically matt and Chris. Yall are acting as if it was only two of them, like they're on a date. They were with fucking I don't know, 8 other people? Like why does Sturntok care who they hangout with? Did you not learn from elementary school to mind your bees wax, or business? You're probably 15. They're literally 5 years older than you. There is no way, in any universe they're gonna date you girl. ALSO TO SHIT ON TARA?? LIKE GIRL. FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO SHIT ON CUZ HOMEGIRL DONT CARE. SHE DONT CARE. SHE IS STRIVING AND LIVING LIFE LIKE YOU SHOULD GIRL. Live life and don't care. You'll probably have a positive outcome. No cuz y'all know how Chris owns the Saturn necklace thing? Its vivienne underwood. It's less than 20 bucks on Amazon. Also when was the last time y'all saw Chris wearing that necklace girl. Also there's a post from like months, or I think a year ago of Tara wearing the same necklace. These fucking tiktok girls are so annoying. Like we get it, everyone wants to be Tara. (she's my gf.)

Podcast. I saw a bunch of btiches shit on the podcast. Like cmon. THEY ARE PRODUCING AN HOUR LONG VIDEO FOR YALL EVERY WEEK. Mfs are burnt out, you're lucky that they even produce content for you ungreatful hoes. Like lwk, I'd rather have them remove Wednesday videos. I remember when they first started their podcast that they were really excited to start and stuff. I also remember, I believe it was their earlier vlogs. When they were still living in Boston and they haven't like went to LA yet, they were talking about turning their basement into a podcast room. Like cmon. This is something they've been wanting to do and you hoes just don't appreciate anything. Like have y'all's mama's not been pissed at y'all for not appreciating her food. Live life positive and not negative tf. But ofc, I respect their decision.

Intro. Yall just love to shit on everyone. Ruining the party. Sturntok reminds me of the kids-the class "clowns" who would be so shitty to the teacher for no reason and would ruin fun things for everyone. Like guys, I think we should all as a community bully Sturntok. It requires a bit more bullying, just to knock some sense into their heads. Anyways, back to what I was ranting about. I loved their new intro. its a new era. A new them. Change. Is. Fucking. hard. I understand that you love the teens from Boston running around making fools of themselves. Me too, I shall admit it. But in order to get sponsorships, to get the little paring things. (For example, them sponsoring Celsius, even becoming the youtooz thing.) Like they gotta act more professional.

Change. This tied in with the last few things. CHANGE IS HARD. CHANGE IS A DIFFICULT THING. But how the fuck are you gonna live life, and enjoy life when your stuck on one thing forever. Change is needed for growth, and for learning. Like guys, THEYRE 20. I think that's something y'all forget. They aren't teenagers anymore. Its kinda like how when everyone went into middle school and started to not like kiddy things when you still liked kiddy things. When I was in middle school I still like to play with Legos, draw, watch anime. Until I hit 7th grade, aka everyone's downfall. I still enjoy some of those things today but I changed because people in middle school stopped like those things and its embarrassing (well for me at least) to show up in school with anime shirts cuz I'm getting older. Thats what they're feeling I guess. Again, theyre 20 now.

Crazy ass mfs. Crazy, as in them soft mf's on sturntok. Also what pisses me off more is that they're coming here on tumblr. Like no, I know your soft ass belongs on Wattpad bffr. I have a long rant about this one, so bare with me again. They are so so so so so SOOOOO sensitive about the "spicy edits." Sometimes the fucking video frame isn't even about something "spicy" aka- them being shirtless, video frame near their crotch. It was when there was a song about sex. How soft can you be. Most songs these days are about sex. Some songs y'all probably didn't know about was about sex. (cake by the ocean for example.) LIKE LETS ME FOR REAL. MOST SONGS ARE ABOUT SEX. Also with the tiktok audios being removed like cmon. Not everything is about sunshine and rainbows. I remember I commented on a Chris edit and I was like.

"I need this man in my life. He's so hot."

"you're fucking gross. He's a human being and do you know how grossed out he would be if he saw that you said this? (bullshitbullshit,morebullshitandstupidness.)"

Yeah, keeping fucking running your mouth. THIS TIKTOK HAS LIKE 4K VIEWS. DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING FOLLOWERS THE TRIPLETS HAVE? YEAH. THAT'S NOT EVEN A QUARTER OF WHAT THEY HAVE. THIS VIDEO HAS 1K COMMENTS. ARE THEY FUCKING HUNTING ME DOWN?? MY COMMENT HAS 3 LIKES. WHY WOULD THEY CARE TO FUCKING CHECK GIRL. ITS ALSO TELLING THE FUCKING PERSON WHO EDITED THIS THAT THIS EDIT WAS FIRE AND THAT THEY MADE THE EDIT HELLA GOOD. UR FUCKING LUCKY I KEPT MY ANGER TO MYSELF CUZ OH GIRL. I WOULD SUCKER PUNCH YOU. You know whats also funny? They're the same people who will be pissed with when they see matt or Chris with a female. Like girl. You're calling me fucking gross? Do you think how much more worse that is than my comment? You ruin friendships. OG sturniolo fans know that they've been friends with girls. If you genuinely care, yall would know that nick made most of matt and chris' friends. Meaning most of them were females. SO OBVIOUSLY THEYRE GONNA HAVE GIRL FRIENDS. I remember watching the Zach sang pod when nick was on and he explained that matt usually doesn't make the friends. Theres a joke where matt says "I'm gonna make a friend that wasn't originally nick's friends." smth like that. Anyways, off topic. Just because they are seen with a girl, doesn't mean they are fucking dating them. Like shut the fuck up. please. Respectfully shut the fuck because I'm a nice person. Also Chris gives off major virgin vibes lets bffr.

Madi. Yall hate so bad on Madi and its fucking grossing me out. Why do you have to ship her with matt and chris??? Literally to the point they can't even put her in photo dumps or videos. You just gotta ruin it for everyone, huh? shes fucking gorgeous, and she's so funny in videos. Plus, when she does talk shes hillarious. She literally reminds me of Matt. She doesn't fucking talk much because she is more of a listener.. Like guys bffr. How can you hate her when she barley spoke in videos. Like respectfully, shut the fuck up. Yall just jealous shes pretty.

Calling Nick fine. I also hate them mfs who are always running their mouth about girls calling Nick fine. Lets bffr. Y'all didn't think a gay guy is fine? I'm sure you've had a crush on one gay person before. And if you haven't trust me. You will. I had a crush on my gay friend in 8th grade. I feel like its a canon even in every girl's life. anyways, I hate when girls will be scared to call nick hot.

"Nick is so fine. But like as a cool guy friend way. Please don't attack me."

POOR GIRL BELIEVES SHE IS GONNA BE ATTACKED IF SHE CALLS A GAY MAN FINE. Sturntok leave her the fuck alone. He's hot as fucking and I will kill civilians if I'm not given more nick edits. He's so fine. Literally the hottest triplet.

If u made it here thanks. There was shit on my chest that I really needed to let out. What have we learned today?

Sturntok can suck my fucking dick.

Thanks goodbye.

Me to Sturntok :

[xenith-eats-stars]

me and my buddy @cartoon-leafe came up with a ton of those “she [X] on my [X] till i [X]” memes, so here’s all of them

under the cut bc it’s a pretty long list

she 5 on my nights till im at freddy’s

she asriel on my photoshop till i flowey

he old on my man till i yaoi

she megalo on my vania till im stronger than you

she W. on my D. till i gaster

she tomo on my dachi till i life

she spring on my lock till i failure

she insane on my clown till i posse

she scott on my pilgrim till i defeat her 7 evil exes

she team on my fortress till i 2

she nagito on my komaeda till her rhinestone eyes are like factories far away

she tally on my hall till im hidden in the sand

she I/ on my Me/ till i Myself

she cicada on my days till i pack my stuff

she ink on my machine till i bendy

she X on my men till i mutate

she dwell in my vault till i fallout

she W on my M1 till i believe in magic

she Jack on my Skellington till im the pumpkin king

she amazing on my digital till i circus

she Honda on my Odyssey till i get chills, theyre multiplying

she Hazbin on my Hotel till i get redeemed

she Monty on my Gator till i wanna rock and roll

she pound my head till im against the kitchen floor

she hammer on my car till i explode

she pyramid on my head till im silent

she dungeon on my dragon till i roll a nat 20

she 9 on my 11 till i never forget

she laplace on my angel till i hurt people? hurt people!

she poké on my balls till i catch ‘em all

she rock and roll on me all night till i party every day

she lady on my bug till im miraculous, simply the best

she Miles on my Morales till im like what’s up danger

she ink on my splat zone till i splashdown

she calamari my inkantation till i stay fresh

she ebb on my flow till i dont get cooked

she anarchy my rainbow till i catch her later

she [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] on my [[KEYGEN]] till i become a [[BIG SHOT]]

she birds are singing on my flowers are blooming till kids like you burn in hell

she autism on my spectrum till i disorder

she obsessive on my compulsive till i disorder

she golden on my freddy till it’s me

she appreciate my skeleton till i can feel my mind unweave again

she animation on my meme till i headbop

she Chappell on my Roan till im hot to go

she azumanga on my daioh till i america ya!

she project on my diva till i mega mix

she little on my shop of horrors till i feed her to a plant

she watt on my pad till i lemon

she pop on my team till im epic

she fire on my paw till i alone will save our clan

she legends on my arceus till i make the first pokédex

she ponder my orb till i ruminate

she migrate my coconut till i swallow

she stardew on my valley till i farm

she visit my friend till im the visiterrrr

she my on my little till i pony

she swipe left on character ai till i ask her a question

she Mandela my Catalogue till i will know her greatest fear

she scarlet on my violet till i time travel

she star on my platinum till i the world

she hatsune on my miku till im the #1 princess in the world

she miracle on my musical till im alone at the edge of a universe humming a tune

she harpy on my hare till i bury all her children

[lussiane333]

I am cravin for more Art the clown x reader tis lately, are you available making request. if not, understandable. I dont mind smut involved. i wanna see art x reader when theyre on period

This is filth.. I absolutely love it. Not sure if you had something like this in your mind or I just made it filthy.. But I loved writing this.

Warnings for those who might be sensitive to this stuff:

Blood, period blood, smut..

And before texting me how disgusting I am, I already know, no need to remind me ❤️ No but seriously. I usually don't put warnings or anything to my fics, but now I feel like I should 👀 So.. read at your own risk!

Bloody Kisses

Trail of bloody kisses going all the way from your wet cunt, to your stomach, neck and mouth.

Yes. He would kiss you and make you taste your own period blood.

So disgusting that he wants you to suck him off like that. He also wants to cum in your mouth, seeing you swallow his white cum along with blood.. That does something to him.

Art loves the feeling of his cock feeling so warm inside of you.

Not only when you're on your period. It's not just about the pleasure, when he is inside of you it's intimate for him, revealing himself to you and you only. The blood is a bonus, It's more fun and he can be very funny.. ;)

The sight of your blood smeared all around, covering your thighs, his hands and mouth, yours too, the bedsheets..

Oh, and when he is done with you? He will dip his finger into your blood and write 'ART WAS HERE' right above your cunt.

After the session, he is admiring how beautiful you look.. So sore, panting, dirty with his cum mixed with blood. You want to go shower? Not a chance. Art wants to observe, he's really proud of his.. Artwork...

How he wishes it was someone else's blood.. His absolute fantasy is to fuck you in front of victim(s) he already massacred / are still alive (barely), looking at you two with pure disgust and hate. So if you two didn't yet, it is bound to happen.

Although, I don't think he would be 10000% comfortable if parts of his body were revealed in front of someone else WHILE he fucks you, because as I stated before it's intimate for him. But it's Art that we're talking about here, so he probably wouldn't care at all. He just feels proud of having someone that is somewhat like him. At least in this sphere..

Art has this weird thing.. When something is dirty, you clean it right? He loves watching things go from dirty to all nice and clean. Same goes with you. You're showering and he is standing there, grinning. He will watch how the bloody water is vanishing into the drainer and your skin looking all soft and clean. (Perfect to ruin and mark all over again) He feels so satisfied.

After that, he will clean himself too and then accopany you to where you are.

He will give you the look.. I'm telling you, he really likes doing this to you. He will lift his eyebrows, eye you up and down, massage your belly...

Wanna go again? 😏

[hp-hcs]

Um, yeah, I don't really have a specific character in mind (so you can ignore this if u want to!), but how would some characters react to a male reader who listens to muggle music, but like- metal?? yk

this is the kind of shit i wanna see in my inbox hell fucking yeah

❕i’ll be honest, my vibe has always been more punk/pop punk/metalcore/hard rock 🤷‍♂️ i did my best buttttt these are all just songs from my playlist so- (i adore my slytherin babygirls but they’ll always be second to my lord and savior glenn danzig)❕

also accidentally wrote gn reader again so that’s pretty girlypop

requests open

i’ve never actually written one of these like, group headcanons for a whole bunch of people, but i keep seeing other people doing it so we’re trying it out ig. do we like it? yes? no?

slytherin boys: gn! muggleborn! reader’s music taste is rather…unexpected

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

mattheo: die, die my darling — misfits

i’m of the opinion that mattheo would fucking LOVE the misfits (once you introduce him)

he walks into your dorm to ask you a quick question, and you’re just dancing around in your room screaming the lyrics to:

“DIE DIE DIE MY DARLING, DONT UTTER A SINGLE WORD”

“DIE DIE, DIE MY DARLING, JUST SHUT YOUR PRETTY MOUTH”

he’s like 🧍‍♂️😦😍

and that’s when he falls in love with you

jk, unless????

you show him the misfits’ entire discography, and bitch about jerry only (as u should)

he takes a bit too much of a liking to helena 🤨

yk, the song that goes “if i cut off your arms, and i cut off your legs, would you still love me, anyway? if you’re bound and you’re gagged, draped and displayed, would you still love me, anyway?”

🤨🤨🤨

interesting, mattheo. interesting. not concerning in the slightest.

he adores them and you guys listen to their music together when you study <33

y’all start running around screaming I AINT NO GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH

your teachers love it <3

theodore: nazi punks fuck off — dead kennedys

y’all were showering together

(is that really like a sexy thing? i sure as fuck don’t know 🖤🩶🤍💜)

you started singing to yourself and babygirl was like 😳☺️

he loves ur voice <3

even when you’re singing “nazi punks, nazi punks, nazi punks FUCK OFF”

(cause like……yk…….he’s a wizard nazi himself 😬👍)

awkwarddddd

he always lets you put on your music

to be honest, he doesn’t really care about the lyrics, he just loves that you love it

(*cough* simp *cough*)

draco: possessed by satan — gorgoroth

you’d just come back from winter break and had brought one of your holiday presents back with you: a new record player and a shitload of vinyls

you set it up in your dorm and asked your roomie, draco, if he’d mind if you played something

he'd never admit it, but he was wildly curious what muggle music sounded like

so of course, you blessed him with the sweet sweet sounds of gorgoroth 😌🥰

(aww, nostalgia <3)

he just looked at you like 😨

you then proceeded to educate him on gaahl beating the shit out of someone (a l l e g e d l y) and threatening to drink his blood

he’s now even more concerned

(do you or do you not tell him about the gogoroth concert ft. alive ‘crucified’ actors & impaled sheep heads vs. the country of poland?)

((idk babe that’s for you to decide))

blaise: boogie woogie wu — insane clown posse

i feel like blaise is chill enough to give any music a shot before deciding if he likes it or not

you weren’t that close, just acquaintances, but one day you just offered up your other headphone to him in the middle of a really boring class

oh, he’s in love

🎵😍😍🎶

you make him a playlist of songs you think he’d love, and he lowkey almost starts crying and that’s how he asks you out on your first date

(is it terrible to think that this might be your wedding’s first dance song?)

((NOW MURDERRRR))

(((UH OH, HERE COME THE PO-PO TOO MUCH MURDER)))

enzo: custer — slipknot

it’s your ringtone for someone 😌

like ur mom, or something? idfk

“incoming call from: birthgiver” 🎵CUT CUT CUT ME UP AND FUCK FUCK FUCK ME UP🎶

enz:🧍‍♂️

he doesn’t even know how to react

he’s only a bit terrified

he’ll listen to a few other songs you play for him, but will make you play the weird sisters afterwards

tom: reincarnate — motionless in white

he’s bitching about how much muggles suck and muggle music is trash blah blah blah

and ur like “oh really? wanna bet?”

you whip out your phone and start blasting your playlist

he would absolutely eat that shit up

it’s cheaper than therapy ig 🤷‍♂️

he hates being wrong about anything ever so he’ll never admit out loud that he likes it, but he will just show up at your dorm at like eleven pm like:

“do you have any more uh……song recommendations or something…..uhhhh” 🧍‍♂️

babygirl 💞

[freakspectors]

ROLE MODEL.

A Fyodor Dostoyevsky | BSD x Gender-Neutral Reader Smut Fanfic.

warnings ; smut , reader has female anatomy but is overall gender neutral (except for one (1) use of 'girl') , slapping , mean fedya , bondage , praise if you squint , a bit short , nikolai mention giggles , not proofread , etc .

authors note ; hihi !!! hope you guys missed me... yes i returned solely because fyodor's birthday was yesterday and i HAD to write smth for him. ignore that. giggle wiggles. also i got lazy and ended it on a cliffhanger.. oopsie poops dont get too mad

Fyodor always was a man who saw himself as dignified.

         He believed someone as sanctified as he shall always receive the utmost respect, no matter the form; especially on his date of birth. He asked for no presents, no surprises to be thrown. Cakes were out of the question, too. The sweet thing Fyodor wished to devour was you.

Silk purple ribbon danced around your body, the fabric an eye-pleasing restraint. It wasn’t your idea to put it on; in fact, it was Gogol who brought it up. The clown dumped several ideas of what to do for your ‘acquaintance’s’ birthday onto you, some more obscene than others. But you couldn’t be upset at him; not when his ideas led you to paradise.

         Lithe digits grip your hips as you sloppily bounce on Fyodor’s shaft, his hands attempting to keep you steady. Hours ago, your ability to think fled elsewhere, the capability to speak following suit. It was as if you were a mindless doll, a toy whose only purpose was to serve its owner.

“You seem to enjoy this more than me, Kukla,” the demon shamed, “must I remind you why I’m permitting you free reign of my body?”

The Russian receives no reply. Sounds of skin against skin and squelching of slick echo throughout the empty bedroom; braindead babbles accompanying the lewd melody of intercourse. It was gorgeous, music to Fyodor’s very ears, but there was something.. missing. Something that would make this song perfect.

        Fyodor slapped your cheek, hitting hard enough to leave a sting, but not a mark. You were beautiful, after all. He would never want to taint such a graceful figure. My, were you a sight for sore eyes when you cried. Eyes that were once glossed over with tears finally let them run free, each droplet hastily streaming down your cheeks.

A pale hand reached up to your face, cupping the section hot with assault and tears. Fyodor wiped away the teardrops with his thumb, a feigned look of sympathy on his visage. “I’m sorry, love, but I will not take such disrespect from you. Give me an answer, or I’ll have another give me the benefaction that I seek.”

        Despite your hazy mind, you shook your head no and brought all movements on the raven-haired man's cock to a halt. Your heart banged in your chest as you finally relaxed, the ribbon still keeping you up straight. Chuckling, Fyodor brought both appendages to your boobs, toying with your nipples through the thin cloth.

“Good. Now, go on. Do I have to remind you why I’m letting you do this?”

“No, sir..”

“Really, now? Tell me then.”

“B-Because you want me to make you feel good..”

“Correct, Milaya moya. Such a smart girl,” the Russian praised. “Don’t lose focus on the objective at hand, and answer when I speak to you. Do I make myself clear?”

@ HELUVAKU 2023 . do not share or repost .

[differentpostrebel]

Lost and Found: A Pirate's Promise

The first gif, is cause its the standoff, and also Caesar with the heart eyes for Joker, and the second gif because I cant find a gif of them running. Dressrosa really do be bringing out the passion and action.

Chapter 26: Doflamingo’s Deadly Game

A/N: We are back with another chapter! I truly cant wait for you guys to read this one, Chapter 27 is done and Im currently working on chapter 28. Thank you guys so much for liking, commenting, reblogging, and interacting!. I also have a special chapter cooking for Sabo and Y/N and what went down during those two years... We have some good stuff coming up, also dont forget to like chapter 25 also! And without further a do lets get to it and let the adventure begin!

Word Count: 5.1K 

Sanji x Reader, Sanji x Y/N, One piece x Reader 

Laws POV… 

Doflamingo laughed softly, his voice dripping with mockery. “Better hurry, Law. She won’t last much longer.”

We stood locked in a three-way standoff: Admiral Fujitora and his men on one side, Doflamingo opposite me, and Caesar still pathetically at my side. The air was thick with tension, a clash waiting to erupt. Caesar turned, frantic as ever, babbling in a desperate plea.

"Joker! Make him pay for this! And also the prin—"

Without hesitation, I grabbed him by the scarf, choking off his words as I dragged him closer. “The deal’s off, Doflamingo!” My voice was sharp, resolute. There was no going back now.

Doflamingo’s menacing laugh echoed through the battlefield. “I haven’t seen you in ten years, Law. Show your old boss some respect.” His grin widened, dark and unforgiving. “As for Caesar, you know how valuable he is to me. I need him back.”

“Ohh, Joker, you do care!” Caesar swooned beside me, completely missing the gravity of the situation.

One of the Marines spoke up, eyes shifting between the parties. “Admiral, it appears Law brought in Caesar Clown for a trade-off.”

Fujitora nodded, the weight of his presence almost palpable. “Ah, yes. The scientist responsible for that poison gas. A tricky situation... If he works for one of the Seven Warlords, he might be granted amnesty.” His brow furrowed as he weighed the situation. “This is delicate.”

Doflamingo chuckled, his voice cutting through the air like a knife. “They say you and Ryokugyu are forces to be reckoned with on the battlefield.”

“Sir, you flatter me,” Fujitora responded, calm but wary.

“Cut the crap. I don’t need praises,” Doflamingo spat, growing impatient. His smile twisted into something more sinister. 

“I’m having a little trouble unraveling the situation here, but it seems to me that as a Warlord, you’re doing things that go beyond your authority... like this fellow over here calling you Joker.”

Fujitora’s voice remained steady, though there was a hint of warning beneath it. 

“If you’re really trying to take me down, be ready to dirty your hands. It’ll take a mountain of evidence. Now... what do you plan to do about Law?” 

Doflamingo’s eyes glinted with dangerous intent as he turned his gaze back to me. His laughter stopped, and the battlefield grew even colder in his silence. “If you’re referring to the news about your alliance with the Straw Hats, then yes, he’s guilty.” Fujitora’s voice was calm but firm, the weight of his words unmistakable. “So tell me, Law—is he simply your subordinate, or an ally? The answer will determine whether you both are guilty. If so, that means we’ll arrest you... and the Straw Hats.”

“What kind of excuse is that?!” Caesar shrieked, his voice trembling. “So all he has to do is lie, and he’s scot-free?”

My mind raced. Damn it. My plan had completely fallen apart. The Navy was here, and now I was the target. I glanced around, feeling the weight of every decision. I can’t let the team in Dressrosa get caught up in this. If I lie, it’ll only make things worse. I have to make a stand, here and now.

I took a deep breath and shouted, “It’s true! The Straw Hats aren’t working under me. We’re equals in this alliance!”

“You just have to make things more difficult, don’t you, Law?” Doflamingo’s laugh rang out, filled with cruel amusement. “Well then, it’s settled. You’re guilty. But that won’t be the only thing making headlines tomorrow.”

Fujitora’s face remained unreadable, but the air around him shifted. Suddenly, an immense pressure bore down on us, the ground beneath us trembling. “Consider this your sentence,” Fujitora said calmly as the sky darkened. From above, a massive meteor hurtled toward us.

The Marines scattered in panic, and Caesar scrambled for cover, but I stood my ground. “Room!” I yelled, extending my hand. The space around me warped as I sliced the meteor in half, the debris crashing harmlessly around us. When the dust settled, all three of us stood in our original spots, a deep crack running through the battlefield like a scar.

“Even a blind man couldn’t miss that,” I muttered, still catching my breath.

“Ah, pardon me,” Fujitora said with a calm smile. “Just a small test.”

My heart pounded, but there was no room for hesitation. Fujitora continued, “Now, Law... you’re a criminal, which means I’ll have to arrest you.”

Doflamingo's grin widened as he watched the chaos unfold. “What now, Law? You’re not going to run, are you? You won’t get far in my kingdom.”

I gritted my teeth, my mind scrambling for a solution. I’ve got to think of something—fast.

Sanji POV… 

The streets of Dressrosa were a blur as I raced forward, the pounding of my heart drowning out everything else. Violet was right behind me, her soft footsteps barely audible over the chaos. But even with her so close, my mind was elsewhere—on Y/N. I couldn’t stop picturing her trapped in Doflamingo’s web, and it was driving me crazy. Every second I wasn’t with her felt like a second too long.

With shaky hands, I grabbed my transponder snail and frantically dialed. “Franky,” I called out the moment he picked up, my voice tight with urgency. “Where’s Y/N? Have you seen her?”

Franky’s voice came through, calm but direct. “I’m heading to the flower field.”

I stopped dead in my tracks, confusion mixing with my frustration. “The flower field? Why there of all places?”

Franky’s tone sharpened, clearly not in the mood for my questions. “And where the hell have you been, huh?”

I hesitated, casting a quick glance at Violet, her presence reminding me why I’d been gone. “I was… falling in love,” I admitted, my voice barely a whisper. Violet smiled at me, her eyes filled with a quiet understanding that almost made me forget the urgency of the moment. Almost.

But Franky’s laughter brought me crashing back. “Ah, so you’ve moved on, huh? Guess Y/N’s not on your mind anymore? I’ll be sure to let the others know there's less of a competition now!”

His words hit harder than I expected, and I could feel my chest tighten. Even with Violet by my side, Y/N was still there, lingering in my thoughts. No matter what Franky thought, I hadn’t forgotten about her. I couldn’t. Not with the danger she was in.

“Franky, cut the crap,” I snapped, my voice cold. “We’ve got bigger things to deal with. Just tell me if you’ve seen Y/N.”

“Honestly, I haven’t since we separated,” Franky admitted.

“Crap, we need to find her and fast!” My mind raced with the possibilities of what Doflamingo could be planning. Franky continued, “By the way, I also know where the factory is, but it won’t be easy. There’s a whole thing about it.”

“We’ll be lucky if we even make it out alive,” I muttered under my breath, frustration and urgency mixing together.

“Yeah, I’ve heard about Doflamingo’s plan,” Franky replied. “We walked right into that trap. But just because we’re in deep now doesn’t mean we can’t salvage the operation. I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve. We can still do some serious damage.”

"Alright," I said, trying to focus, “just meet me at the flower field, and we’ll work things out.”

Franky chuckled, “What the hell is that place? Sounds like something out of a fairy tale!”

I couldn’t help the irritation creeping into my voice. "By the way, I’m worried about Y/N. With Doflamingo’s plan, things are getting worse. And I’m also worried about Nami!”

Franky’s voice softened a bit. “Don’t worry, Y/N’s tough as nails. And so is Nami. They’ll be fine, Sanji. You’ve got to have some faith. We just need to find Y/N before Doflamingo does. As for Nami, she’s got Brook and monster Chopper watching her back.”

I opened my mouth to respond when a commotion broke out around us. A crowd had gathered, watching something on a large screen. I glanced over and froze. “Hey! What’s going on there?” I spotted Luffy on the screen, inside the Coliseum, fighting.

“Franky, why the hell is Luffy fighting?!” I demanded, my frustration spiking again.

“Oh, yeah,” Franky said, as if just remembering. “He’s fighting in some big tournament. I forgot to mention it.”

I groaned, running a hand through my hair. “Why the hell did you leave him alone? You know damn well he can’t be trusted on his own!”

Franky didn’t miss a beat. “Hey, you’re one to talk. You lost Zoro and Y/N!”

I clenched my fists, frustrated, but Franky wasn’t wrong. Violet, standing close to me, tensed. Her eyes darted around as if sensing danger before she spoke. "Blackleg, I have to leave. My men have found me. You and your crew are focused on getting to the factory—here, take this." She quickly handed me a folded piece of paper. “It’s disguised as a toy factory.”

I grabbed the map, my heart pounding. "No, you can’t go! If you’ve helped me this far, there’s no turning back!" I protested, desperation creeping into my voice. The thought of her walking away now—after everything—was unbearable.

“It’s too late for me,” she said quietly, her voice carrying a weight of resignation. “The executives already know I’ve betrayed the family. I’m doomed.”

“Violet, wait!” I reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder. “The western gate—meet me there and stay hidden. That’s where our crew’s rendezvous point is. I swear, I’ll get you out. No matter the cost.”

She looked at me, her eyes softening, filled with both care and sorrow. There was something deeper in that gaze, something that made my chest tighten. “Hopeless... you’re just hopeless,” she said with a small laugh, a blush creeping across her cheeks.

My heart raced, my mind split between saving her and focusing on the mission. But just as the tension hung in the air, a familiar voice shattered the moment.

“Pardon me, sir, but please fight! Don’t be hopeless!” It was Kinemon, and he was standing right in front of me, completely oblivious to the mood.

I groaned, my hand dropping from Violet’s shoulder. "Way to kill the mood, Kinemon. When did you even get here?"

Violet was already starting to slip away, her urgency returning. “Violet, wait!” I shouted, but Kinemon stepped in front of me again, blocking my path.

“Fight those men!” Kinemon pointed toward a group of thugs trailing behind him, completely unaware of the delicate situation he was interrupting.

“Really, Kinemon?” I muttered, exasperated. With a swift spin, I kicked the nearest thug square in the face, sending him flying. One by one, the rest followed, collapsing like dominoes. After a few seconds, it was over. I took a drag of my cigarette, feeling the familiar burn in my chest. “They’re just thugs, Kinemon. Why the hell did you need me for this?”

Kinemon straightened, brushing off his robes as if he had just finished an important task. “I was informed that the toy factory is holding my dear friend, Kanjuro,” he said gravely, his face lined with worry.

I raised an eyebrow, exhaling a cloud of smoke. "Oh, is that so?"

Kinemon’s eyes widened, desperation creeping into his voice. “Do you know the way?”

I couldn’t help but smirk, pulling out the small piece of paper Violet had handed me earlier. “Sure, you’ve got it,” I said, unfolding the map in front of him

Y/N POV…

"Alright, I think I lost them," I muttered to myself, finally stopping after what felt like hours of running. My heart pounded in my chest as I bent over, placing my hands on my knees to catch my breath. My muscles ached, and I was heaving like I’d just finished a marathon.

"When we get out of this," I breathed heavily, “I’m definitely gonna work on my cardio, because… man, I’m out of shape.” I chuckled to myself between gasps for air. "Then again, I was injured for the most part, so maybe this counts as my workout."

My eyes landed on a bottle of water, abandoned on the side of the street. It was probably someone’s, but I didn’t care. I snatched it up, unscrewed the cap, and gulped down the cold water. “I needed that,” I sighed, wiping my mouth.

Suddenly, a loud voice echoed from the nearby broadcast. "The crowd is going crazy, folks! Lucy is destroying the competition… in pursuit of the Flame-Flame Fruit!"

My heart nearly stopped. "Lucy?" I straightened up, my mind racing. "Flame-Flame Fruit?" My eyes darted to the transponder snail broadcast, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. "But that’s… Ace’s fruit. How did—"

My breath caught as the camera panned to the fighter in the arena. It was Luffy—no, Lucy—fighting like his life depended on it.

"Luffy?!" I whispered, eyes wide with shock. "What the hell is going on?!"

The crowd around me was roaring, cheering for "Lucy." It all made sense now. Luffy was after Ace’s fruit. My stomach twisted with a mix of emotions—relief, worry, and confusion. But more than anything, I knew I had to get to him.

“I gotta get there, and quick,” I murmured under my breath, already gearing up to run again. I glanced to my far left and spotted the massive structure of the Coliseum in the distance.

"I’m close!" I whispered to myself, my legs already moving. The pain in my body didn’t matter now. All that mattered was getting to Luffy before anything went wrong. “Hang on, Luffy, I’m coming!”

With renewed determination, I pushed through the streets of Dressrosa, weaving past the citizens and sprinting toward the Coliseum. My mind raced just as fast as my feet, every step bringing me closer to whatever chaos awaited inside.

Law POV.. 

“Room!” I yelled, slicing through the second meteor Fujitora had just sent crashing down. My heart pounded in my chest, but I kept my focus sharp.

“Strength truly admirable for a warlord,” Fujitora said, his tone calm but unwavering.

Before I could respond, I heard Doflamingo’s chilling voice cut through the air. “Don’t interfere, he’s mine to kill, and mine alone,” he declared, launching a barrage of string bullets. One of them grazed my left cheek, drawing blood.

“Damn it,” I hissed, my mind racing. I couldn’t afford to get bogged down here, not with Y/N still in danger. I leaped away from my position, darting into the dense forest, hoping to gain some distance. But Doflamingo wasn’t far behind, his maniacal laugh echoing through the trees.

“You’re not getting away that easily, Law!” Doflamingo taunted, his strings slicing through the air as he pursued me. “Stop playing me for a fool! All this running around… it’s just to buy yourself some time!”

I gritted my teeth, pushing forward, trying to ignore the growing dread in my gut. I have to keep stalling. There’s no other option.

Doflamingo’s voice cut through my thoughts again, more venomous this time. “I will soon have her, Law. You can’t protect her forever.”

“Y/N...” The sound of her name made my blood run cold, and my eyes widened with fear. I had to keep him occupied. If he got to Y/N—no, I couldn’t let that happen. I had to keep moving, keep stalling. My only hope was to delay him long enough for the others to handle the situation.

But just as I thought I might create some distance, I skidded to a halt. Fujitora now stood in front of me, his immense presence blocking my path. My heart sank. And as I glanced behind me, Doflamingo emerged from the shadows of the forest, cutting off any chance of escape.

“Come on, did you really think I was going to let you have it your way?” Doflamingo sneered, his voice laced with malice.

“Damn it,” I muttered, my mind scrambling for a plan. I was trapped between two titans—Fujitora in front, Doflamingo behind.

Sanji POV… 

Kinemon and I made our way toward the flower field, hoping to meet up with Franky so we could make our next move on the toy factory. My mind, however, was racing with concern for Y/N, who was still unaccounted for.

“Folks, we are down to two competitors for this round!” shouted the announcer over the video transponder snail. Kinemon and I paused for a second, looking at the broadcast. My eyes widened in disbelief.

“Luffy? Sir Luffy is there?!”

I clenched my fists, a mixture of frustration and worry bubbling to the surface. “Can’t he stay out of trouble for once?”

Kinemon, oblivious to my rising temper, waved his sword in the air. “I say we go to the toy house, rescue Kanjuro, and deal with this situation after!”

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to rein in my frustration. “I’d love to, but we have two major problems. One, we don’t know where Y/N is, and two, there are Marines everywhere,” I said, gesturing toward the streets swarming with navy personnel. “It looks like they’re trying to surround the Colosseum.”

“To no end,” Kinemon added, tightening his grip on his sword.

I nodded, scanning the area. “It seems like a lot of pirates and criminals entered the tournament. The Marines are just waiting to scoop them up as soon as they step out of the arena.”

“Y/N... where are you?” I muttered under my breath, the anxiety gnawing at me. I couldn’t help but think the worst. Every second that passed without finding her made the knot in my stomach tighten.

“Well, a society can only operate properly if criminals are apprehended,” Kinemon said with a straight face, completely missing the gravity of the situation.

I didn’t hesitate to smack the back of his head. “Do you even realize you’re working with pirates right now? And one of them is standing right here!”

He blinked a few times, rubbing the spot where I hit him. “Ah, yes. My apologies.”

I sighed. “We’ve got to figure out a way to warn Luffy without drawing attention to ourselves. But the entrance to the Colosseum is heavily guarded, and there’s no way around.”

As we scouted the area, my eyes landed on a group of Marines stationed near the gate. Among them stood a towering figure—a Navy Vice Admiral, waiting outside the Colosseum.

 Law POV… 

“Run as much as you like, you’re just delaying the inevitable,” Doflamingo taunted, his voice dripping with malice as he pursued me relentlessly. His confidence was almost maddening, each step echoing with the promise of impending doom.

Fujitora wasn’t far behind either, his presence a looming threat as he prepared another assault. With a sudden motion, Fujitora commanded the ground to rise up and attack, sending debris flying at me. I barely managed to keep my footing, my landing almost causing me to trip.

Desperation clawed at me as I fumbled for my transponder snail, trying to reach Nami. “Come on, come on, pick up!” I pleaded, my voice tinged with urgency.

“Nami, what happened?!” I shouted into the transponder, but there was no response. Panic surged through me as Fujitora launched a third attack, his Meteor technique crashing down towards me. I tried to dodge, but the sheer force of the blast hit me with brutal impact, sending me sprawling.

“No mercy for the wicked,” Doflamingo’s laugh echoed ominously through the chaos. It felt like the world was closing in on me, each second dragging out with unbearable tension. I clutched the transponder snail tightly, desperately hoping for an answer.

The transponder snail continued to ring, each unanswered call heightening my frustration. “What are you waiting for, Nami? You were attacked, weren’t you?!” I shouted into the device, my voice cracking with desperation.

Another meteor descended, its fiery trail lighting up the sky as it hurtled toward me. The explosion was deafening, the shockwave nearly throwing me off balance. I barely managed to dodge the blast, rolling out of the way just in time. My body was heavy with exhaustion, each breath coming in ragged gasps as I tried to stay one step ahead of Fujitora’s relentless attacks and Doflamingo’s mocking taunts.

Y/N POV… 

"Sir, there are no signs of any pirates or criminals in the streets," I heard a Marine's voice echo from nearby as I crouched, hidden in a shadowy back alley. My heart raced as I kept as still as possible.

"Alright, come back to the Colosseum. We may need backup just in case," the voice of a Navy Vice Admiral responded.

I let out a slow breath as the Marines moved away, leaving the streets quieter, at least for now. Finally, I allowed myself to relax enough to make a sound.

"I need to think of a plan," I muttered under my breath. But first, I had to get rid of this disguise Kinemon had put me in. It had helped me stay hidden, but now it was more of a liability. The Marines, along with the men who had been chasing me, were probably out looking for me. I couldn’t afford to stay in one place for too long.

As I was about to stand, someone grabbed my shoulder, pulling me back down. I hit the ground with a loud thud.

"And just where do you think you're going?" one of the men sneered, his laughter making my skin crawl. “The boss is going to be pleased about this.” said the other man.

Crap. They found me.

I clenched my right hand, preparing to throw a punch and send them flying, but before I could strike, a familiar figure appeared, already handling the situation.

"Now, now, why don’t we let the girl leave?" a smooth, calm voice spoke. "Besides, you're not going to lay a single hand on her."

In swift, precise movements, Sabo took out all three men with ease, knocking them down one by one until they were left sprawled out on the ground, unconscious or close to it. He hadn’t even broken a sweat.

“Sabo?” I whispered, relief flooding through me as I stood and walked toward him, my heart pounding for a different reason now. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around him in a grateful hug. "You always know how to show up just in time."

He chuckled softly, his hand resting on my back. “What can I say? I like being there when a beautiful woman needs rescuing.”

I pulled back slightly, smirking up at him. "Oh? So you’ve made it a habit of saving me, huh?"

He gave me that familiar cocky grin, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Well, what can I say? It's one of my favorite pastimes. Besides, you seem to find yourself in these situations often. Lucky for you, I don’t mind being your knight in shining armor."

I rolled my eyes playfully, but I couldn’t hide the smile tugging at my lips. “If you keep this up, I might start to think you’re following me around on purpose.”

Sabo leaned in slightly, his voice lowering, teasing. "Maybe I am. You make it worth the chase, after all." 

I was about to close the gap between us, the tension thick with unspoken words, when a groan interrupted the moment.

“Ugh... what happened…” one of the thugs muttered as he slowly regained consciousness.

Sabo sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes. “Way to kill the mood,” he muttered under his breath. I smirked, crouching down to meet the thug's groggy gaze, grabbing him by the collar.

"Hello there," I said sweetly, my voice carrying a dangerous undertone. "You and I are going to have a little chat," I added, tightening my grip slightly as the thug’s face drained of color.

Minutes later, Sabo had tied up the last of the thugs while I took the opportunity to change into one of the outfits I “borrowed” from one of the sellers here in Dressrosa—an off-the-shoulder white mesh cami and a black mini skirt. When I stepped back, I caught Sabo looking at me, his gaze trailing slowly from my feet to my face. He let out a low whistle, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Well, well, well,” he said, grinning as his gaze lingered a bit too long. “You’ve certainly outdone yourself, haven’t you?”

I felt a blush creeping up my neck but tried to stay composed. “Oh, this thing?” I said with a mischievous smile. “Just something I borrowed from a seller. Figured I’d spice things up a bit.”

Sabo’s eyes sparkled with amusement and admiration. “Borrowed, huh? Seems like you’re making quite the impression. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to concentrate with you looking like that.”

I stepped closer, crossing my arms with a playful smirk. “Distracted, are we? I thought you were the one who was always so focused.”

Sabo chuckled, his gaze lingering appreciatively. “Focused, yes. But you’ve definitely raised the stakes. It’s hard to keep my attention when you’re dressed like that.”

I leaned in slightly, my voice dropping to a teasing whisper. “Careful, Sabo. You might just get a little too distracted if you’re not careful.”

Sabo’s grin widened, and he leaned in, his lips brushing near my ear. “Oh, I’m definitely up for the challenge. But you should know, being this close to you is making it a lot harder to stay focused.” 

I playfully pushed Sabo away and made my way to the thug, grabbing him by the collar. “Now, why were you chasing me? Who sent you?” I demanded, my voice firm.

Sabo, arms crossed and grinning, watched with amusement. The thug sneered at me, trying to muster some bravado. “Bite me!” he spat, attempting to land a headbutt. I dodged effortlessly and released him, Clenching my right hand and connecting it with my left palm letting my hand spark with electricity.

“Now, are you ready to talk? Or are we going to do this the hard way?” I said with a smirk, electricity crackling between my fingers.

Sabo whistled appreciatively, “Yeah, you don’t know what you signed up for. You really don’t want to get caught in that.”

As my hand drew closer, the thug’s bravado faltered. He squirmed, his face paling. “Okay, okay! I’ll talk!” he pleaded, trying to back away.

“Start talking,” I said, my voice laced with barely contained rage.

“We were sent by Joker to capture you and bring you to him,” he stammered, trembling.

“Joker, huh?” I muttered. “Well, looks like you’re going to have to make a call to Joker then.”

“I refuse!” he said defiantly, though his voice wavered.

“Well, I tried doing this nicely.” I grabbed him with my left hand, lifting him up, and connected my right hand, electricity flowing through my left arm. “Now, Bolt,” I said, as the electricity surged through him.

The thug convulsed under the shock, his whimpers echoing as I let the current flow. After a few agonizing seconds, I dropped him to the ground, his body twitching as he lay there, groaning.

“Now let’s try that again,” I said, smirking, as I readied myself for his response.

Laws Pov.. 

I kept running, my breath heavy, my mind racing. Doflamingo was closing in fast. I glanced over my shoulder, just as he appeared in front of me, blocking my path with that twisted smile.

“Well, how about that? Nowhere else for you to run, Law,” Doflamingo taunted, his voice dripping with amusement as he started walking slowly toward me.

Before I could react, Caesar’s voice cut through the tension. “Joker, wait!” Caesar shouted, waving his hands frantically. “Kill him if you want, but there’s something important I need you to do first! And don’t forget about the Princess!”

Doflamingo’s attention flicked toward Caesar, and I used the brief distraction to gather my strength. My mind was spinning, and in that moment, I couldn’t help but think of Y/N. Wherever you are... I hope you’re safe and far away from all this.

Caesar’s whining continued. “That bastard ripped my heart out and stole it from me! I shudder just thinking about what he’ll do next!” he said, his voice trembling with fear.

I can’t stop here. I won’t let him win!

“Room!” I shouted, raising my hand. “Shambles!” The world around me shifted as I teleported away from Doflamingo, creating enough distance to continue my escape.

As I reappeared farther away, my body aching, I kept running, not daring to slow down. I just need to stall. Keep him away long enough... Y/N, stay safe. I’ll deal with him. Somehow.

I fumbled with the transponder snail, my heart pounding as I called Nami’s line again. Instead, Chopper answered, sounding frantic. “Hello! Who is this?! Whoever you are, we need your help!”

“Listen, Raccoon, I don’t care what your situation is!” I barked, still sprinting and narrowly avoiding another barrage of Doflamingo’s strings. “Take the ship and head to Greenbit, now! I’m leaving Caesar with you! No time to explain—just do it!” I cut the call before he could protest.

I could hear Doflamingo's mocking laughter echoing closer. Just as I glanced back, pain tore through my side—a "bullet string" hit me dead on. I crashed to the ground, gasping for air, my vision swimming.

“This is the end of the line, Law,” Doflamingo sneered as he loomed over me, his voice a twisted blend of arrogance and sadistic joy. “Who did you end up calling? Was it the princess?”

His cruel laughter sent chills down my spine as I struggled to push myself off the ground. Every breath felt like knives in my lungs, but I forced myself to glare up at him.

“I set a trap for your partner,” Doflamingo continued, eyes gleaming with satisfaction. “I knew he wouldn’t resist the prize in that gladiator contest. Strawhat doesn’t stand a chance!” He laughed again, like a predator toying with his prey.

I clenched my fists, trying to ignore the searing pain. My mind flashed to Luffy, Y/N, and the rest of the crew. I couldn't let Doflamingo win.

“So, are you ready to give up, Law?” he asked, his voice dripping with false sympathy.

.

.

.

.

.

[hostilemuppet]

Brozone (and friends (and enemies)) twitter drama au

Collaborative between me and @squirrelpatties. Truly our magnum opus

Jd: previously a frequent twitter e-clown infamous for name searching and starting beef with people who insulted him. His fanbase thought it was hilarious in a "grandpa escaped the hospital" way. Eventually was forced to relinquish control of @/brojohndoryofficial to his pr manager (clay) after he responded to 14 y/o @/j0ndryballzweat.

Floyd (part 1): his sex tape (with a fan he didnt know was a fan but thats hardly relevant) gets leaked. For the first three days everyone's timeline was full of "do NOT share it around, dont even look for it, if someone sends it to you IGNORE it, this is a disgusting breach of privacy" until Floyd addresses it by tweeting "decided to put on a different kind of show for you guys" and all hell breaks loose. Every tweets hidden replies are full of screencaps and reuploads for a month. People edit the video so just before anything explicit happens it's replaced by a video game cutscene or meme, which Floyd retweets a lot of. His brothers ask him to stop (both for publicity and bc it makes them uncomfortable) so he starts posting thirst traps on insta. Clay yells at him so Floyd tweets "clay just asked when I'm gonna get a girlfriend :/" which brings us to-

Clay: homophobia allegations. Admittedly the least serious and would have blown over quickly if it weren't for him panic tweeting "I'm not homophobic! My girlfriend is a bi lesbian!" People were NOT happy. It takes him three days of retweeting 'helpful educational threads and carrds' on lesbianism written by 14 y/os for people to get off his back. Viva understands.

Bruce: stays off social media bc its the mind killer so he lets clay take care of @/brobruceofficial. This goes well until clay gets drunk and thinks he's on his private account but is actually on Bruce's public. When he wakes up (hungover) in the morning hes got Bruce banging on his door asking why TMZ is reporting on him cheating on his wife. Bruce tells him to clear things up but clay JUST got the lesbians off his back and can't afford to be back in the hotseat...

Branch and poppy: branch was annoyed by all the branch/poppy rpf fanfic (poppy likes them bc she thinks they're cute and funny. When brozone go on tour she reads the smutty ones) so he suggested to poppy that they stage a fake breakup. Poppy is initially against the idea until branch brings up how much fun itd be to sneak around like a couple of teenagers. Poppy scrapbooks the tabloids about their breakup. Clay and Bruce blame clays drunken tweets on branch so clay seems like the victim. Poppy acknowledges this on twitter in a way that very heavily implies they broke up bc branch was cheating on her with her own sister. Viva does not understand. This one doesn't have a resolution yet bc we moved onto:

Barb: previous lesbian icon turned reactionary transphobe. Riff stopped associating with her once she started getting really public with it and now she keeps tweeting stuff like "you-know-who left me just to work with misogynists. Really makes you think 🤔 " which he ignores.

Riff: while still working with barb he was approached to collab with creek (damage control for the... unsavoury things he said about rock trolls). The second the song released he tweeted "wow that guy was an asshole LOL" bc he didn't realise he wasn't supposed to do that. Cut contact with barb once her transphobia went from "mild, I can fix her" to "jesus fucking christ". Briefly worked with Floyd until his second controversy at which point riff tweeted "cmon, man" and turned off his phone. Riff hasn't done anything wrong and he deserves a lot better

Velvet: crafted the perfect expose thread on Floyd when she was in prison, including "pro life" "publicly sharing inappropriate sexual content" and "uses the toothpaste flag". Posts it the second she gets let out of prison and instantly becomes #1 on trending (alongside "floyd" "pro life" and "#HUGS4CLAY).

Floyd (part 2): tweets "why does it even matter that I'm pro life if I'm gay and don't 'believe' in 'voting'" before doing another line off his boyfriends torso. People bring his leaked nudes back up and start insulting his dick size and its the first time hes ever let a controversy bother him. His next tweet is "I am not ashamed of my body" and the top reply (creek pfp) is "you should be ❤". Clay is biting the skin off his own tongue.

[the-s1lly-corner]

CREEPYPASTA CHARACTERS CELEBRATING VALENTINE'S DAY

"but admin, its early January!" yeah well if christmas stuff can start coming the second fall starts then i can celebrate valentines early/j also i saw valentines stuff already being set up at the store and its gotten me in the mood writing this at 2:30 am while playing a roblox tycoon, im fighting demons rn... so tonights writing may be a little.... off... as per usual, jeff toby and ben are written as platonic (and honestly, i think platonic friendships are just as deserving of being celebrated too!) typos and blugh-y-ness aside, i hope you all enjoy!

SLENDERMAN:

i think he might be a little behind on the tradition... so you might have to fill him in...! i think once he gets an understanding of the holiday he tries to do something for you! i think he would pick flowers from around the forest for you ! so be prepared for that! but if you have an allergy or arent really a flower person, then i think he might find you a collection of cool rocks... maybe he even carves something from wood for you! dont forget picnics, too! i think he would take this as a moment to remind you how much he loves you... its not often that he verbalizes how much he values you.... well verbalize in terms of speaking in your head... but...! 8/10 hes my wife your honor!

SPLENDORMAN:

unlike his brother he DOES know what the holiday is and just know hes going to get this huge picnic set up for you! he cant exactly go out and buy you anything (actually... most of these characters cant....) so i think he might make you something! a handmade gift! isnt that nice! might give you a flower crown as well... i think he would try his hand at making the food for the picnic, i think unlike slender he can handle digesting human food... okayish... be it because he built a tolerance or because hes built different... shrugs... gives you a bouquet of sun flowers and makes the day about YOU... he would appreciate a gift, but hes not going to give you flack for not getting him anything 8/10 i love him too i wish i wrote for him more

EYELESS JACK:

honestly given that he lives in a cabin in the woods with like. zero ties to the outside world, he kind of loses his sense of time... kind of just relies off of the weather changing through the year to gauge what month it is... and even then that can only be so accurate... no youre probably going to have to remind him or drop some hints... kind of panics at first... i think he would offer to do some services for you (not like that) such as doing some work around your place, or cooking for you... but that doesnt mean much when he already kind of does that... hmmm.... offers to take you out to watch the stars, you guys end up exchanging stories... maybe if you ask nicely, he might come out with you to the streets and stroll around with you after everyone else has gone to bed... i dont think he really does... big gestures... 7/10 i still love him too and tbh my ass wouldnt mind not getting a huge gesture or gift

LAUGHING JACK:

i think he would go all out when he sees the valentines day commercials airing on the tv. i can see him making an arts and crafts thing for you but i can also see him just outright going to a store and stealing something. what are they going to do? arrest a 7 foot clown that can disappear into a puff of smoke? yeah right... whaaaaat? no of course he didnt steal this really expensive piece of jewelry! i think he would expect something in return though so you better have gotten him something! i think he would be satisfied with some candy, and perhaps some extra affection? please? generally easy to please during this holiday since hes just happy to have you around and to himself 9/10 i love him your honor hes my other wife

MASKY/TIM:

masky does know about the holiday, for the most part, usually from media and commercials, though... im still a little eh on how i write masky and hoodie in general but shhhh. i dont think he would see it as much of a big deal, though... but he can kind of see it being a big deal to you, if it is of course. i think he would just bluntly try to ask you what you want. no beating around the bush with this one... doesnt expect anything in return nor does he want anything... but i dont think he would deny you if you wanted to spoil him... 6/10 i love me a straight forward king

as for tim i think he might try to put some more romance into his attempt and try to surprise you... might cook you dinner and decorate the place to look fancy, since i dont think he would like going out to some fancy restaurant... gives you flowers, too... doesnt ask for anything in return either but his eyes do light up a little when you get him something, bonus if its not your typical valentines gift and its something thats more relevant and practical in the long run 6.5/10

HOODIE/BRIAN:

i think i can see hoodie being a little more playful in this scenario, but not by much... hes not at emotionally distant as masky is, but hes still not easy to read. i think he would make you something... maybe its because i see brian being into art and its bleeding into how i interpret hoodie, but i think he would paint you something... or maybe he tries to set up a little movie date for you two! makes a pillow fort to surprise you, too.. very nice, very calm night.. you guys stay up all night together. he refuses to fall asleep before you... 7/10

between the two if im going to go with the artist hc brian is the better artist and is generally more confident in his ability to make something that looks pleasing to the sight orbs. be it a portrait or something based around one of your interests, hes going to be working for weeks in advance trying to perfect it... i think he might also try to take you out for dinner, too. i can see brian being a bit of a romantic sap, probably plays your guys's songs while you're driving around town together 9/10 i would actually cry personally

TICCI TOBY:

between being on the run for krilling his dad and for burning his neighborhood down + working for slenderman toby isnt around often... but he does try to still make time for you, especially when theres holidays going on! hell, he still tries to come over when its saint pattys day. he doesnt care if he doesnt have green, hes still going to go check in on you. so hands down hes going to be there for you... though i dont think he would be able to offer you anything... so you two hanging out will have to suffice. while its not traditional to give your friends anything for valentines (which i think is bs, i like giving my friends candy and homemade goods) he might... just try to go shoplift some chocolate... please talk him out of it... 6/10 its a cool hang out, you guys probably watch movies and catch up!

JEFF THE KILLER:

"ew feelings and caring about others" kind of sums up jeffs views on valentines, and as immature as it sounds, its his true thoughts. so dont expect anything from him, i mean if you ask to hang out he might swing by your place. and by swing by i mean hes going to pick the lock to your window and let himself in through your bathroom... which scares the hell out of you considering youve given him a key to your house... similar to toby the day is spent like any other, which is fine.. not terrible, honestly. you guys probably just fuck around and do what you guys normally do, 6/10

BEN DROWNED:

"ew feelings and caring about others" for ben as well but thats because hes literally a ghost kid so it makes sense for him to have that mindset, so dont expect him to mention the day to you. i think if anything he might send you a png of those dumb valentines cards or memes but stress that hes only doing it because he thinks it might make you happy... which is sweet and sad because how often does ben get to interact and befriend people? communicate with them? otherwise you guys just do your own thing, 5/10

PUPPETEER:

oh hes going to be dramatic about it. you better get him something, reader! unlike laughing jack hes not easy to please! you better not pick him up some basic card from the store, you better make it unique to him! he doesnt eat so you dont need to burn a hole in your wallet to get him some expensive chocolates or plushies.. but what does he do for you? i think he would... do something similar in return, actually. maybe its the puppet theming but i can see him putting on a little show for you, or maybe even hand making you your own toy/plushie, totally catered to you and your interests! just know hes going to want your undivided attention for the entire day, and in return youre going to have his attention as well 7.5/10

[thewertsearch]

See, these three make perfect sense for Dave. We've got the funny meme troll, the funny meme troll, and the funny meme troll who's flirting with him.

TC: ArE YoU ReAdY TC: To gEt tHe hOrNs yOu dOnT HaVe TC: CoNfIsCaTeD AlL LiKe tHe mOtHeRfUcKiN HoNkTrAbAnD ThEy aRe TC: BeInG AlL IlLiCiT As tHe vAsT JoKe iTsElF

Aradia just mentioned the 'Vast Joke', and now Gamzee is using it as part of his trolling efforts. I guess it's a part of Sburb's lore that the kids haven't yet encountered.

I doubt Gamzee will be enlightening us, though. He probably just thinks it's a juggalo thing.

TC: YoU GeTtInG YoUr hOrNs aLl hAnDeD To yOu, If yOu pEePs aNaToMiCaLlY WeRe sUcH To bE LiKe tHaT TC: DoInG ThAt's tO MeAn lIkE YoU GoT MoThErFuCkIn sAsSeD OuT TC: As iN TrOlLeD

It honestly takes a minute of painstakingly parsing his text to even realize that he's trolling - which means he's already succeeded.

TG: oh god thats right TG: you were the best troll

See, Dave gets it!

TG: it was months ago for me TG: you did your bizarrely oblivious juggalo thing TG: then bitched and moaned at me for ruining your religion or some horseshit TG: like i guess a weird crisis in faith i dunno TG: and then TG: you kinda got over that i guess

We haven't seen this conversation, but I could pretty much write it myself:

Gamzee raps at Dave.

Dave memes on Gamzee for being a juggalo.

Gamzee learns that he's worshipping a band from Earth, and realizes how bizarre his situation is.

Then he immediately gets over it. Because, y'know, he's stoned out of his mind.

TC: My mInD'S NoT ThAt sHaRp nOw tHoUgH, iT'S BeEn aGeS SiNcE I HaD A GoOd pIe

Or not - maybe he'll sober up soon.

It'd be funny if a straightedge, post-juggalo Gamzee ended up being one of the more competent trolls - although that would mean more conversations iN HiS qUiRk, which I wouldn't exactly relish.

TC: I WaSn't tHe dUdE Of tImE TC: I WaS ThE TC: ThE MoThErFuCkIn TC: BaRd oF TC: FuCk

Oh, he's a bard! Hell yeah!

Bards are my favorite D&D class. They're charismatic generalists, with a fun, musical flavor to their abilities. It's a good fit for Gamzee, too - bard isn't far from jester, which isn't far from clown.

In Sburb, I imagine that it's an oddball class for Players who don't dance to anyone's tune but their own.

Gamzee barely qualifies as a Player, and is hardly aware of the game going on around him - but I'm sure he'll have his moment to shine. It's worth noting that, if built correctly, a Bard can also be one of the most powerful classes in D&D.

TG: do you remember if you watched any videos TG: from earth [...] TG: youve got to check this out TG: trust me itll lift your spirits shit will all make sense to you finally TG: youll finally figure out who you are and why you worship all this ridiculous clown bullshit [...] TG: http://tinyurl.com/MoThErFuCkInMiRaClEs

Dave has decided he may as well kickstart Gamzee's crisis of faith...

...and accidentally kickstarts a kimessitude that will be written in the stars.

Eat your heart out, Karkat.