#dont look at me. i know.
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one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."
I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.
#example: a 'friend' in middle school told me I should ask a guy out. she said 'he'll totally say yes'.#he did not. which was the obvious outcome#but it took me years to realize that she'd said that hoping to fuel some drama for her own entertainment.#ANOTHER EXAMPLE#a guy in college approached me saying that he'd been seeing me around campus but was always too shy to talk to me#and that he really wanted to get to know me#so I was like wow 🥺 romance 🥺 and hopped into bed with him#and afterward I was like what do you wanna do 😊 should we see a movie 😊 should we go out 😊#and he was like nope. byeeee.#and I realized I got bamboozled into sex#total shocked pikachu face#I'm still not the best at this tbh. I'm like 'why would this person lie to me. lying is bad'.#anyway this is why I not looking forward to entering the dating world again#DONT BAMBOOZLE ME I'M GULLIBLE
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speaking of how to train your dragon and creature design, the shift from the really naturalistic art direction and character animation for the first movie's toothless- the face getting flatter, the eyes bigger and closer together, getting rid of the little realistic details like the dust collecting between the scales, the pink splotching where the scales end at the nostrils, the muted markings, the animation making a shift from largely realistic animal behavior to much more anthropomorphic- is such a huge downgrade to me, made worse because it's subtle in such a way that you will sound insane if you mention it
(huge L for the "the audience's capacity to find a creature cute and empathetic and expressive is directly proportional to how much it looks like a human baby" principle of character design because the first one is so so much cuter)
#also i don't know how to frame this in a sane way but i don't like how he looks like leather in the last one ....#i have to make this post because people keep messaging me and going 'you dont get it the live action design is based on the third movie'#yes i get it! i don't like it
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abogagos……..
#abogado (lawyer) + gago (idiot) so basically dumbass lawyers#i finally figured out how I wanna draw miles stupid bangs and I’m pretty happy with how it came out#for legal reasons (lol) I only did the engarde case but not will powers case in aa1 since my only copy is in Spanish#and I dont wanna look it up yet in case I actually get to play it and I don’t wanna get spoiled. so if its ooc thats my excuse#fuck Matt engarde all my homies hate Matt engarde#slogging thru trials and tribulations but havent finished the demasque case yet#bc Luke Atmey peeves me and makes me reluctant to open the game just to talk to him LOL#my art#myart#doodles#ace attorney#aa#aa trilogy#miles edgeworth#phoenix wright#maya fey#matt engarde#will powers#wrightworth#narumitsu#justice for all#(I know maya was kidnapped during that case but I wanted to include her anyway so shes tied up)
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No but seriously the things turtles can do are unhinged.
#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt#tmnt fanart#fanart#digital art#digital drawing#digital illustration#my artwork#rottmnt donatello#rottmnt leo#rottmnt splinter#i dont know a lot about turtles#this show legit made me look up different turtle facts#splinter was probably on the verge of so many heart attacks#box turtles can just stop their hearts when it gets too cold yall#yeah a turtles heart beat generally slows down in the winter.... a box turtles heart can just STOP
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DEVASTATING the lyric you've been mishearing is better than the real one
#i've been listening to icarus by bastille#and for some reason my brain fills in 'this is how it feels to take a fall' as 'this is how it feels to take off all your skin'#and like fuck man#and I KNOW that’s technically not a misheard lyric but my post my rules cope#anyway my line now#also probably phrased this poorly but its ok#im allowed to be incomprehensible#as a treat#and then fuckin#from we sink by of monsters and men#the original line was 'please look away dont look at me'#and i kept hearing it as 'please learn a way to look at me'#anyway#shoving this post in the queue but please be aware that i am writing it very late at night#q
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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yeah... yeah
#art tag#league of legends#arcane#sevika#sevika arcane#ada wong#resident evil#.... dont look at me#her this entire season was so. shes so fine#at the beginning i kinda hated her hair in the trailer but the VERY MOMENTTT i saw miss sevika move i was like okay wait it's growing on me#AND THE BLACK TANK TOP MREEEEOOOWOWOOW#damn act 3 they treated the piltover zaun conflict so unseriously and it's kinda stupid they ran my girl through the dirt#sigh. SIGHHHH#on a final note i know she probably wouldn't wear something like this never in like a million years#it does not matter. my worlds have collided and she came to me in a dream#for now... for now sevika dons the ada wong og re4 dress. take it as you will
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Lamb in a bunny suit trend (ft scythe and veil props, thanks Narinder)
#narilamb#cult of the lamb#narinder x lamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#doodles#cw suggestive content#sw suggestive#i dont know how bunny suit laces work dont look at me
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
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self-indulgent sukuna sheet
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#ryomen sukuna#sukuna#jjk sukuna#jjk spoilers#suku!megu is old news but ill tag it spoilers to be safe ghdfgk#anyway dont look at me >:/ stop it >:/#this started out so innocently in my defense . i saw some1 wearing that cash 4 souls hoodie in public MONTHS ago#and i immediately wanted sukuna in it#but then i got 2 thinking abt how i havent drawn a sukuna sketchsheet like ever and then i got to thinking how ive only drawn 1 suku!megu..#which is tragic by the way i cant believe ive only drawn him one other time smh im so behind on my quota :(((#drawing him sneering is SO fun gsdkgjsdfh i love how expressive sukuna makes megumi#anyway stop looking at me STOP IT i know what i did i know what ive done you're welcome#dedicated to the fakers in the gc who keep telling me theyre 'not sukuna fans' over their raucous barking :/// ok guys
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#yes humans are a fantasy race what abt it#this is 100% inspired by dungeon meshi. as would be obvious to anyone who knows me. but i put some of the races we dont get on dunmeshi.#like fair folk#entertain me with this please. im bored and looking for attention.#gi talks#polls#fair folk#fantasy creature#goblincore#cottagecore#1#1k#b
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I know they say amnesia is a bad trait in d&d/ttrpgs but in my most recent campaign I made a character who was voluntarily memory wiped for magical powers and gave my dm permission to make up a backstry that I don't even know. So we show up in this town and get intercepted by a bunch of gangsters who were like "heyyy there's our lawyer with no conscience!" and my character is like "well i still dont have a conscience, how hard can law be?" and that's how we started the ace attorney plotline
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no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#figueroth faeth#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#fh class quangle#my! class swap thing! I guess this is like the poster for it now#got overinvested and finished it properly instead of winging it lol#in closeup order: cleric!gorgug; bard!riz; rogue!fabian; sorcerer!kristen; barbarian!fig; artificer!adaine#this one does have the harpoon gun I'd give fabian during sophomore year but literally only figured out for this piece lol#I like how it looks tho Im glad I hashed it out#thinking abt power armor adaine a lot tbh... she has the transhumanist audacity. she's villain-adjacent enough#to attempt unspeakable acts of body improvement#(its funny bc to wear a rig like that would Also demand a certain level of physical strength from you)#also yeah this is the thing with riz holding a megaphone that got me considering#its fun! it fits the aesthetics! maybe it'd grant him range for bardics#maybe he gets to keep that Im just not sure how he'd carry it around lol#fig gets to have all of her makeup... I like almost never remember to draw it usually kdsjfhdjk listen. I just forgor#I always forget makeup is real#also dont ask me what's in kristen's thermos it Is usually tea but you truly never know#sometimes its soup. it can be lighter fluid. soap perhaps. hot chocolate#also if u come knocking on my door abt kristen's somatic in this piece: I wont be home#she gets to be gross especially bc shes funny and 17yo and gay. we give it to her#okay I. whoo I should lay down. finally I can move on to other things#cheers! wahoo. yahha perhaps
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this has been plaguing my mind for days
#i.. i dont know what to say for myself#i kinda wanna make this a sticker for myself#im getting into sticker design cuz my mom wants a print of my velveteen rabbit poster i made for school#i kinda wanna remake it since i made that thing on fucking illustrator with vectors and it took me DAYS#i wanna make it look more storybook like and surprise it to her by ordering it as a sticker... itd be my first time#custom printing a sticker and i think id prefer to get it professionally done unless i decide to learn how to diy it#my art#myart#stickers#the very hungry caterpillar#eric carle
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vampires will never hurt you🩸
for my bestie lauren who i roasted live on stream for fucking astarion i luv u
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This bloodweave art dump has it all: The price of devotion, the serenity of simple touches, cat to cat communication and iasip redraws with slightly altered dialogue
#bloodweave#astarion x gale#gale x astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#gale dekarios#astarion ancunin#the bw server knows most of these already diakjdhkjkfhksk#i had exams. i still have to write one but after that… i will be a free man once more. ready to draw (hopefully)#i actually have more iasip redraws wips. yes i have recently started to rewatch it. dont look at me
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