#dont laugh news

[dropoutdottv]

🤭TONIGHT! A new episode of Breaking News—er, 'The Swing of Things' launches on Dropout at 7PM ET / 4PM PT!

Hosted by Jiavani and Jacob Wysocki, along with co-hosts Jeremy Culhane and Matt Apodaca.

Catch up on the season now!

[pansy-picnics]

“gay son or thot daughter,” you start to ask, but you can’t even finish your sentence because cosmo and wanda heard “gay son” and immediately started cheering and clapping

[that1notetaker]

Imagine building a family in a terrible world. Some of you die sooner, and you try to make it work. Then everyone, everything is gone, you have less than a minute to process that, and you're alone. Except it's worse! Because your family will be there, but suddenly you're not part of it. The house is in front of you and you don't have the keys.

[rrover]

i think its happening❓

[crystallakec]

我花時間製作了這個! ´͈ ᗜ `͈

基本上就是照著官圖畫 中途畫開心了就自己發揮一下（？

[bluerosefox]

Test Tube Babies, Spleens, and Fruitloop Father?! NOPE. No thanks.

Danny and Ellie take a small, reincarnation, vacation from their duties in the Infinite Realms (King Danny and his most trusted Knight/Princess Ellie). Don't worry, they leave the Realms in good hands (Jazz, Pandora, Frostbite, CW, etc, basically Danny's main council takes over for a few years)

They both weren't expecting to wake up in an assassin cult though.... Nor to find out they're five year old twins now... Twin, somewhat clones of the leader and this guy Red Robin their 'father' is kinda obsessed with....

Great their 'father' is an insane assassin leader fruitloop and their 'dad' is named after a fast food joint... whose barely out of his teens btw.

Danny al Ghul Danyal, cast a glance as his full blooded and twin sister this time around Helen Ellie al Ghul who rolled her eyes as they listened to their 'father' ramble on and on about their 'dad' and how they were created to be his heir (Danny mostly, though he had plans on Ellie going to be trained to be his body guard by someone named Lady Shiva soon)

Yeah, no. Ellie dealt with one evil fruitloop father who cloned her once before, she's not dealing that again or falling for the 'I created thus I love you but not really' bs. They need to leave, like yesterday.

Hopefully their 'dad' is... okay he doesn't need to be okay with it at first but hopefully comes around to it, okay with the two of them showing up on his doorstep soon.

And you know what, they're gonna bring him a gift.

His spleen. Yeah it'll be good to give that back to him.

Since you know that was how they got clones to begin with... Maybe don't leave your DNA with people that can make clones next time.

[im-smart-i-swear]

coming back home.

@barrenclan

[nelkcats]

Ghost Doctor

Danny became the new underground Gotham's doctor, unlike Dr.Leslie he treats anyone as long as they're willing to find him (and it is hard if is not the right time) and pay the price.

This may sound extremely sinister but the reality was that Danny was not interested in money; he was already King of a dimension and his funds were not going to run out while he was on vacations.

The treatments vary, along with the reviews, but this is due to the prices he give. When Danny treated the Joker, the clown ended up shaking and almost regretting his actions, falling into a laugh full of madness (Danny's price was simple: Face the same thing you put your victims through)

But when Dr. Freeze knocked on his door, tearfully begging to treat Nora, Danny cured her, his price being a smile and a plea "Live happily with your wife for as long as you can."

With all the knowledge that Frostbite teach him combined with Clockwork showing him all human advances on the future (is not illegal if your ghost parent show you) he rented a warehouse and with the help of some ghosts he dig a hole the same size as the warehouse but meters underground, after that he used his powers and sinked it directly into the hole; he developed all his machinery there, turning it into a Bunker that he was the only one who could access.

Therefore, Danny was a mystery, a danger, his prices were varied and he treated anyone: villain, hero, anti-hero, mafia, criminals, innocents, metas, etc. but your values ​​and actions were what whispered your charge and not even an extremely high amount of money would convince him of giving you a different treatment.

Of course, when Jason jokingly visited him asking to cure the pits (He knew it had no cure), his slightest hope was rewarded when the Doctor simply smiled and accepted (His price? A date).

[womansfilm]

Norma Shearer, 1939

[dropoutdottv]

🚨A new episode of 'Breaking News' is out now on Dropout!

Join 1960s newscasters Jiavani and Jacob Wysocki, along with co-hosts Jeremy Culhane and Matt Apodaca to find out why the good old days weren't so great.

[starry-bi-sky]

more about og tue timeline twins danny and dan/jamie

very touchy with each other. you might even say. ccclingy. its to be expected, they're two halves of a whole after all and all they've got of each other. worryingly co-dependent. do not separate. ever.

Danny was really weak and sick after the initial separation, and was for a while after. Jamie knew internally that if Danny died, he'd take the whole world with it. He was the one sole caretaker for him while he got better -- not for lack of trying on Vlad's part, but without his ghost powers he was nothing more than a feeble (albeit handsomely rich) man, and James looked ready to bite his head off if he got within ten feet of either of them.

Vlad is intimately aware that James (or Danny, if he tried) could snap his spine in half like a twig, and is uncomfortably aware of his own lack of ghost half now. It makes him feel self-conscious and exposed, so he never fully returns back to "cocky and self-assured billionaire Vlad Masters". Making deals with other brands feels a lot harder now that he can no longer possess them anymore.

Speaking of, he very quickly has to come up with a cover story as to why there's now a James Daniel Fenton to the public, when no records whatsoever of him existing existed prior. Lots of forging false government documents on his end. James and Danny do not help because it's his fault this happened in the first place.

(Regardless of whether or not Danny actually willingly chose to rip out his ghost half/humanity in canon is true, or if that was Vlad Masters speaking out of his ass, a large part of the blame still falls on Masters.)

(As his primary caretaker and guardian, it's his responsibility to ensure the health and safety of his charge, and since Danny was in clear emotional duress at the time, it can be argued that he was not in the mental state to make such a decision. And, allegedly, couldn't do it on his own which is why he asked Vlad for help.)

I chose "James" as Dan's name since it's a popular fanon middle name for Danny, and since he's half of Danny, it felt like it just made sense lol. Also because of the ensuing comedy of the two of them introducing themselves as "James Daniel Fenton" and "Daniel James Fenton". It's got the same energy as "danny with a y" and "danny with an i" and it's the exact kind of name bullshit you expect parents to give their twins.

I don't have their exact personalities down, but something I am actively writing into this au's bible is that I think Danny should be the quiet and (ig technically) meaner one. There's a lot to go into about interpretations for ghosts, halfas, and the incident itself, but TL:DW; Danny is technically soulless, or at the very least missing half of his soul (altho Jamie is too just in a different direction).

Pair that with the trauma of losing his family in front of him + having his ghost half ripped out + all the trauma he would've sustained as a hero, and he's not doing too hot mentally! i think if the twins met good timeline!Danny, Danny would've mistaken Danny for Dan and Jamie for the original half.

He comes off to others as pretty apathetic and indifferent to a borderline terrifyingly calm degree. He doesn't go out of his way to insult people, but he also doesn't care enough to consider the other party's feelings so he doesn't filter himself, which makes him come off as rude. The only times he looks truly comfortable is when he's near Jamie or talking to him.

His standoffish, ice prince demeanor makes Jamie look like a saint in comparison. When really he's not all that much better? He's more outwardly emotional than Danny, whether that be positive or negative, but at the end of the day he doesn't trust or care about anyone else any more than Danny does, and he's got a bit of a sadistic streak. Danny reigns him in when he starts becoming too destructive.

(Which I think makes sense. Danny asked Vlad to rip out his ghost half specifically so he could stop feeling his human emotions. Dan, despite his monotone voice, does exhibit emotions. He's smug when he asks Valerie if he likes his ghostly wail, sardonic when he reunites with Sam and Tucker, annoyed, shocked at Danny's ghostly wail, etc. He enjoys wreaking destruction and chaos.)

(If Danny had survived his encounter with Dan and if Vlad was successful, then I imagine he'd be rather apathetic to his other half as a whole. That'd be interesting.)

Overall though they're both hurt, bitter, and distrustful of the world around them, with abandonment issues a mile wide. They can get better and they can heal, but it takes time and patience and proper support.

On the DPxDC side of things, they do genuinely hold some kind of respect or regard for Bruce. They also don't become vigilantes for a while. Neither of them are jumping at the bit to enter heroism again, not when it was heroism that killed their family in the first place.

In fact when they find out Bruce = Batman they think he's foolish for it. They think its a fool's errand, and they've been so spurned by their time as Phantom that for a few weeks, Jamie even refused to call Bruce anything but Sisyphus. Danny called him Tantalus, and the two of them had a faux-argument about which one was more accurate.

Bruce does, though, worm his way into both of their hearts, and that's like, the main reason they become vigilantes to join him. So that they could keep him safe and not because of any desire to return to the heroic life. Relearning to care and finding satisfaction in helping others was an unintentional side effect.

(Bruce is so very smug)

Essentially:

The Twins: this is our squishy and fragile adoptive father. If anything happened to him, we're becoming mass extinction events.

Bruce: Nnno.

[torchstelechos]

I do think its really important to remember that SY was suppose to be the villain character but its only because of his kindness and newly gained life that he didn’t end as one. In the very beginning of the story we learn that Peerless Cucumber Bro often left comments on how SJ didn’t get his dues and needed to be punished more, and only after he transmigrated did he acknowledge how awful of a death SJ had. He also made point to explain that he only read the book for LBH, which he noted to enjoy his decisive actions and deft ability to kill. Markedly, he liked his brutality and personality over the erotica that the majority of PIDW fans enjoyed. Peerless Cucumber Bro is someone who loves action and the ability to cut right to the chase, something that he does not do and most likely has difficulty with in his world.

Speaking of, it is something to note that Peerless Cucumber bro is rich. He had head chefs, he could pay for a 6k+ chapter book of erotica in 20 days, he noted that he could not understand SJs envy and ambition for power since he lives well, and he even noted to himself that his family was well off. He is incredibly wealthy, and it shows. Which is important to note because he, not once, showed any guilt or remorse on dying and leaving his family behind. Yes, he sometimes refers to people as being similar to his family but he never showed any pain for losing that life like he did when he lost LBH. This is important because I genuinely think SY was depressed and self destructive to himself, which goes against popular HC that he was chronically/terminally ill (I do like this HC and like how its portrayed in fanfiction). It would explain how he ended up dying all alone by himself, and how blase he was to his own life and death.

SQQ is a self destructive force who ended up dying three times, and didn’t feel anything about death itself. He was worried about others and the effect it had on them, but for himself it was up and on again like it never happened. He does not care for his health, had self isolated as SY to the point he died alone, and has a horrible self esteem to the point that he continuously agrees when other people put him down and often calls himself the villain. Even though we have seen the evidence of someone who is always being thrust into new situations and awful plots, he calls himself lazy and easy going. He hides his thoughts and feelings behind his fan and has a remarkably thin face. At the very base of his actions and his thoughts, he is self destructive, powerful, and smart. This is the set up for a villain.

However, when shown the actual people in front of him and forced to act as SJ did towards LBH and his disciples, he flinches from it. He notes that it happening in front of him was different. His entire self soothing comedy monologue went quiet when he had to enforce the Endless Abyss scene, and grieved for the childish innocence he killed from one of his favourite people. SY was set up to be the villain and obviously thinks of himself as one, but can not act as one. If he had the choice LBH would have been his sticky sweet white lotus disciple for as long as LBH wished to be.

His kindness, as seen in the book, is what turned him from being “the scumbag villain” to the protagonist we see in the novels. Which, yes, he is a protagonist! He even has the protag halo that LBH has and its very funny in the meta way for SQQ not to realize this, but thats for another post. But he loves his disciples, he loves his peak lord siblings, he loves his Binghe, he loves his new life, and he is kind. That is what kept him from being the villain he sees himself as, his kindness and love for others. Whether that be romantic, platonic, or familial, he loves the people he has met and he treats them kindly. That is why it is important to remember that he was set up as the villain by everything in the story we do not see, but what we do see is him continuously changing the story to fit a new genre that lets as many people as he can save live. Sorry sorry, I just think about SY being set up as a villain so much. It changes a lot of views I have on the series when I remember the duality of SYs story and character development.

[shopofsomewhatwonders]

YALL GOT ME FUCKED UP IN GRAVITY FALLS.

[luxsea]

ITS A GREAT DAY TO BE A KARLACH ROMANCER 😳 IM VERY HAPPY W THE NEW PATCH

[ganondoodle]

more polls

*in my reworked weapons system (fuse isnt a thing) you can craft weapons via new smith shops or zelda (each offer different advantages- zelda, as your companion, can craft on the go but needs all materials, shops, which are dotted around the landscape and not restricted to populated areas, can provide materials you dont have but cost money- BOTH need the recipe for it though) both also REPAIR weapons (once a weapon loses its power/goes dull you can still use it but its stats are cut in half or more, but they wont break fully, repairing costs less material or money than crafting new)

in this system new types of weapons or specific, special recipes, can be rewards for quests or in the (reworked) mini dungeons, there are weapons recipes you can craft after you find one out in the wild (as in, the actual weapon) as well; part of the reward for helping out the regions is adding alot of new recipes

you have a (sortable! and with favorites!) collection of recipes to craft weapons from that you can select and then choose what material to use (higher quality material results in extra strength and durability, meaning theres less weapons that are default less good and it mostly depends on how far your progress is !weapons can be repaired with differing material from which they were crafted! so if you made your fav weapon with lesser material you can repair it with better ones and make it stronger and more usable for the late game- you can sell weapons at smith shops or store them at your home)

[pinazee]

Quick thought on the lords in black, are they a commentary on the internet, beings created in a space of black (the screens of our phone) and white (the light that reflects back)? They represent the worst thats come from it- how quickly we are enflamed to rage (wiggly), consuming the fake pageantry (nibbly), watching us destroy ourselves and each other (blinky), keeping record of all the mistakes we’ve made in the past with no redemption (tinky), and getting locked into a singular opinion, or voice (pokey).

Then with Webby, she is the best to come of the internet, which is that it connects us all. She can’t save the citizens of hatchetfield because ultimately the existence of the lords and how they interact in hatchetfield is up to the them. The lords exist because they summon them and until they can find a way to take away their power, they’re doomed to keep repeating their mistakes.

Sidenote: i kind of hope the hatchetfield saga ends in an Into the Woods style musical, where they’ve pulled characters from all these different timelines. So we get the original Paul (who was pulled after pokeys reign and has his mind mostly back except he sings all the time now), stoner emma (or linda for that matter), pete spankovski (eventually freeing ted from his box), lex (and grace chasity as a villain), becky or ms. Holloway, green peace girl (and melissa for a joke), and general mcnamara (who’s the only one who knows whats going on). Et al really