#i dont know where id be today if i never watched this show and never met any of you.

[lifeismarvelous]

Wherever you go, just always remember That you got a home for now and forever And if you get low, just call me whenever This is my oath to you Wherever you go, just always remember You're never alone, we're birds of a feather And we'll never change, no matter the weather This is my oath to you

[cerisahh]

arcane season two act three spoilers

(just me wordvomiting)

i’m so happy that in at least one reality silco, vander and benzo get their happy ending.

i cannot even put into words the emotions i felt as soon as silco came on screen i had to pause and pace my room for three minutes before i could even continue. he literally😭😭got a happy ending😭😭😭 he looks so healthy too oh what i would give for an arcane ‘what if’ series

i mean we got a ‘what if’ vi died in jayce’s lab = no hextech, vander and silco rekindled bromance, no jinx, CANON TIMEBOMB, mylo and claggor are alive, and zaun and piltover are practically best friends

what if silco had taken in vi instead of powder/ powder gets taken by marcus instead of vi?? what if viktor mentored jinx?? what if neither silco or vander died?? WHAT IF THEY NEVER FOUGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE????

i need to consume written pieces of alternate!silco oh the fluff 😣 i can feel it already this is just perfect slice of life/married au material let me be your housewife silco i’ll do anything

i’m ngl the ending? did not care for it. i did not care for it, was it a good ending? no i actually dont think so. this season could have been 30 episodes long and id have sat my ass down and watched all 30 twice through… NINE rushed episode and u felt it was rushed too

NO MENTION NOT EVEN A WHISPER OF ISHA? HO DIED AND NOT EVEN A SCRIBBLED HALLUCINATION OF HER? NAAAAH!

THE ORIANNA OMFHDH i NO LIE started wojacking and looking at a fake camera see image below

THATS WHAT I DID I WAS SO GEEKED OMG

i also started crying on episode 7 whenever it would cut from ekko and powder to jayce literally sobbing because he looked like a hobo stop cutting away from timebomb

speaking of jayce… let’s talk viktor!! where did his vi-nis go?? nobody knows.. every time he said glorious revolution i geeked and cringed at the same time DONT GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON SKY “i’ll miss our conversations”… “no u won��t” YEAH NO HE WONT UR BORING 😭😭 actual snooze fest why was she even in his mushroom trip lucidity void fuckfest states oeuuhh im pissed

jayce haters feel really stupid now though huh🤣🤣🤣

circling back to silco jinx hallucinating h. stop. jinx hallucinating him and him not even digging into her he was COMFORTING HER. i can’t even . i can’t . i just cant. i need him.

and now it’s OVER?? no no no this can’t be.. no no.. NOOO!!!! i better see a steady stream of silco fanfics OMG I HAVENT EVEN SPOKEN ABOUT SEVIKA YET

bro her getting a fucking POSITION ON THE COUNCIL was peak my woman DESERVES a happy ending. she was always loyal to zaun and her people and seeing her get to be in that position just yes. so good (im kind of pissed that we got a caitvi sex scene - if you can call it that they just fondled each other - instead of sevika scissoring at a brothel, ok dpmo).

don’t think i forgot about maddie yew stewpid bitch… HER GOOFY LITTLE CHEST BANG LMFAOO then she got shot #DESERVED #WHATHAPPENSTOGINGERSINARCANE

not even going to write anything on mel because although her little storyline was cool to watch i didn’t fucking get it ☠️ ambessa was hot until her untimely end though. lost a muscle mommy today raise your flags

and to summarise!

jinx: probably alive let’s be honest, gone to find herself a girlfriend (lux)

vi: alive and happy with caitlyn

caitlyn: alive and happy with vi

ekko: alive, misses powder (jinx? both)

mel: alive, now has superpowers which is sick, still gorgeous but stuck with that awful black outfit i hated it so badly

jayce and viktor: transported to a doomed yaoi novella after saving runeterra (very sad)

isha: dead?? they never showed us a body but let’s all be real and not lie she is most probably dead. here’s to holding out hope though, maybe she’s ziggs!

ambessa: dead dead dead “you are the wolf” thank you motherrr 😝

sevika: ALIVE!!! got her happy ending YIPPEE!

vi’s bro dude i forgot his name: death by a million arrows RIP

hot firelight bat dude: AAAALIVEEEE!

hot enforcer fish dude: AHHHHLIVEEEE!

maddie: DEAD TRAITOR TRAITOR DIE DIE DEAD

heimerdinger: pretty sure he got zapped out of existence but he’s lived a long time so not that huge of a blow. rip little bro though

and for my own peace of mind and mental wellness

powder: ALIVE AND HAPPY

ekko: ALIVE AND HAPPY

silco: ALIVE AND HAPPY

vander: ALIVE AND HAPPY

benzo: ALIVE AND HAPPY

claggor: ALIVE AND HAPPY he took ozempic too holy damn!

milo: ALIVE AND HAPPY worlds worst mustache though

vi: AL- oh not here. that’s fine i guess

[minimumwagesoul]

🎩 WELCOME… TO THE A-GAYZING RIZZITAL CIRCUS! MY GAMERTAG IS CAINE, AND IM QUEER TO SHOW YOU THE MOST OHIO-SENDING, SKIBIDI EDGING, DISCORD MEWING YOU'VE EVER PHANTOM TAX, ISNT THAT, GIGA CHAD?

🫧 'THATS RIGHT SIGMA, I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOUVE GYATT IN THE KITCHEN TODAY!'

🎩 WELL, LETS NOT GRIMACE-WASTE, LETS ISHOWSPEED RIGHT INTO THE FAMILY GUY COMPILATIONS!

🎶 banban, and goku, and big chungus too, pepe, peppino, amongus, delulu!~ 🎶 gay after gay after day we fry, as the renegade pokimane makes us cry 🎶

🐰 ''gayine, is this another goofy ahh grassy pillow again? or is this a new subscriber? cause if its a new twitch donator.. we gyatt to redo this whole mlg monologue!''

📐 ''im not doing gyatt again."

🎩 ''MY MY, IT APPEARS A SUS IMPOSTER HAS JOINED THE LOBBY!"

🤡 ''HOW DO I… LEAVE THE SIN CITY WASNT MADE FOR ME''

🐰 ''just keep edging gyatt it, that ellen degeneres for all of us''

🤡 ''what the barnacles!?!? i-i-i-i put on owlhouse and now im here? who are you baby gronks? why cant i leave floptok? how do i leave minecraft?''

🎀 ''lets all kai calm-net down, everythings gyonna be okay thugshaker, weve all been through this escape the ariana grande obby, you just need to-''

🤡 ''WHAT THE VINE BOOM IS GOING ON- what?''

🎩 ''WARNING ONE, YOU CANNOT SWEAR IN GENERAL! THE GAY-MAZING RIZZITAL CIRCUMSIED IS A PLACE TO BE CLIPPED BY ALL STREAMERS, EVERYTHING CAN HAPPEN HERE! execpt for being the biggest bird ''

🤡 ''how do i.. lightskin leave?''

🎩 ''👁️👄👁️''

🎀 ''..well.. dont make a twitlong about this but-'

🐰 ''the only way you can leave is by watching phonk nair videos''

🤡🤡 ''(TIM ALLEN SHOCK NOISE)''

📐 '':mute jax.. but hes right.. welcome to the underground, how was the fall?''

🤡 ''WHAT DO YOU MEME?"

🎀''guys… dont be straight.."

🐰 ''weve been scrolling on tiktok for years.. old finger over theres been streaming the longest''

♟️''MISTER BEEASSSSSTTTT!''

🐰 ''thats why he needs to stop it.. get some help''

🤡 ''oh.. ogay, now i gyatt it! im watching dream, i should just get in the uber!''

🐰 ''whatever you say lesbian''

🎭''..my obama prisim.." :(

🐰 ''so crane, where we dropping boys?"

🎩 ''ID LIKE TO SHOW OUR BRAND NEW MOD MY ROBLOX OBBY FIRST, OFF WE GO!''

Y2FuIGFueW9uZSBoZWFyIG1lPw

🎩 ''here we have GARTEN OF BANBAN, this is where the florida men are kept, along with the FNF mods, these mods may include- GIVE HIM BACK!!!!!!!! GIVE HIM BACK!!!!!!! HES MINEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! >:((((

🤡 '' is gyatt all there rizz?''

🎩 '' OF COURSE NOT, THIS IS.. MY SPLATOON 2 LETSPLAYS!! we dont watch my OLD videos, i w(a)(m)s racist homophobic sexist abelist terrorist watchlist slay back then.

🤡 ''(huh cat)-''

🎩 '' we stay RIGHT HERE where i can keep my 70 ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS!! YOULL NEVER KNOW MY MAIN."

🌙 '' IVE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT- ''

🎩 ''DONT MAKE ME PISS ON YOU AGAIN''

🤡 ''wait whats th- HHRUEEGGEYYAHHAHAUHASGSGUGDS :vomits vomits vomits vomits vomits vomits: ''

🎩 '' WOAH!!!!!! SHES LITERALLY DOING THE GWIDDY!''

🫧 ''me too!! watch me boss!!!!!!!"

🎩 "Stop."

🤡 ''Was that an skibidi toilet I saw out there? Is gyatt a way get a weave?"

🐰 '' What toiwet? If there was a way to not be a noob vs pro im pretty sure we'd all be hackers by now. "

📐''Yeah, what are you waffling about?"

🎩'' I ASS(ure) YOU, THERE RIZZ NO EASTER BUNNY, THERE IS NO FEETFAIRY, AND THIS RIZZ NO QUEEN OF ENGLAND!''

🤡''YOUR MOM HITS IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A CHROMEBOOK CHARGER-''

🎩 '' THATS WHY YOU SOUND LIKE THE ROBLOX COIL SOUND BITCH BOI- how about we talk about roblox doors? Whats your gamer tag?''

🤡 ''my @ is… uh.. OH FUCK. ALL I CAN POST IS ☻/ This is bob. Copy and paste him so he can take over youtube. /▌ /\ ''

🎩 ''FORGOT PASSWORD? SIGN IN USING EMAIL ADDRESS.. OR MAKE A NEW ACCOUNT! ENTER NEW NAME AND NEW PASSWORD''

🤡 ''GOD FUCKING DAMMIT KRIS WHERE THE HELL ARE WE''

🎩''dont you worry your 0% rizz, your new tumblr url can be ANYTHING! Heweby acknowwedging that youw chosen name and ow names may nowt bweach the Digitaw Ciwcus usew wicense agreement stating that youw name may nowt incwude objectionabwe content. Objectionabwe content incwudes but is nowt wimited to: Sexuawwy expwicit matewiaws, obscene, defamato-wy, wibewous, swande-wous, vio-went, and ow un-wawfuw content ow pwofanity. ''

🤡'' erm… actually.. randomly generate it please. ''

🎩 ''lets see… Who is Pomni - for 300?'' (jeopardy)

🤡 ''(womp.)

🎩 ''you're right, marketable, lets try gyatt again! what do you think of XDDCC? ''

🤡 '' BIYTCH IS YOU BLIND-''

🎩 '' badonkers. dobonhonkeros. massive doboonkabhankoloos. big ol' tonhongerekoogers!!! we should start a sidequest with our new donator, XDDCC!!! ''

🐰 ''i said that at 3:20 in the original pilot''

🎩 ''YYYOUUUUUU! SOILDJABOY OFF IN IT, WATCH ME CRANK IT WATCH ME ROLL, WATCH ME CRANK THAT SOULJA BOY THEN SUPERMAN THAT, NOW WATCH ME YUUU-''

🫧'' (plays kevin mcloyed)''

🎩'' ########### ## ####### ### ### # # ##### ''

🤡 ''does anybody in this thread play minecraft-''

🎩 '' SINCE YOUR ACCOUNT IS 12 MINUTES OLD, were gonna make this simple for your ipad baby ass, a simple oklahomo powered adventure to warm you up to the pizza tower. ''

📐 ''NO!! I DONT WANT TO PLAY WII SPORTS… GRRR… eyes glow red''

🎩'' dont worry zooble/halfdemon/princess/rich/gamer/wolf/donttouchmytail/crush;secret!!! ill make it so you can play it on console AND pc! ''

aXRzIHNvIGNvbGQ

🎩 '' hello everybody my name is markiplier and welcome to gather the number lore! thats right! here in the rainbow friends playplace will be rizzed up with swifties, you gotta catch em- (COPYRIGHT)''

🫧 ''what are swifties?''

🎩 ''thanks for the ask, anon! theyre mid-''

🫧''can it run bad apple''

🎩 ''..they-''

🫧''..can it play megalovani----''

🎩'' Swifties are part of the number lore that vore everything and draw anything they rizz into! Why do these sans fangirls do this? How do you block them? thats for me to know and for you to find out.''

🤡''…what… did any of gyatt mean?''

🎀 ''oh, hes just ai generating mr beast videos, theyre content farm so the ipad babies dont go insane.''

📐''speak for yourself motherfucker, if anyone needs me im smoking a fat blunt- OH GOD OH FUCK- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa….''

🐰''oh no, they killed zooble.. you bastards.. anyway you lesbians wanna play touhou?''

🎀'' (pheonix wright) HOLD IT!! we should check on KSI-FMO. I'm pretty sure he'd like to challange XDDCC to a boxing match!''

♟️''THERES 104 DAYS IN SUMMER VACATION-''

🎀'' You wanna come with us to *check on boykisser kaufmonster, how should i feel?''

♟️''Not rizzly. I think Kevin macleoufmos got packed by packgod. Last time I spoke with him, he was watching Lankybox for over 6 hours."

🤡''whose lankybox?''

♟️''No."

🎭''can someone save my goth genderfriend :(''

🤡 '' Well if you wont tell me, then I'll just ask him. And then I'll stop watching dream and watch tubbo instead!"

🐰 ''Heh. She still thinks dream isnt a pedo."

🎀 ''why are you looking at me like that? …. fa-"

🐰 ''im fine with doing (yourmom) as long as I get to see vanossgaming gmod prophunt funny moments- OW. okay ive had enough of these spambots. You, me, and XDDCC will go to the gastation. Sexualized ribbons and tumblr sexyman together will go block all the swifties.

🎀 ''..is shipping them a good idea?"

🐰 ''of course i do, im also a tumblr sexyman, whats gonna happen? i get shipped next? (proweler meme)''

🎭 ''…my comedy cock is broken again.''

♟️''okay. wait WHAT. ''

aW0gaHVuZ3J5

🎀''Welcome to the internet, have a look around, anything skibidi or phantum tax can be found. We gyatt maximum sigma grindset, but- WAIT XDDCC NO DONT LOOK UP YOUR OWN NAME!- '

🤡 ''I dont understand.. why go to the goofy ahh meepcity parties instead of trying to exit terraria?''

🎀''Well, we usually do, when we first make an account. But after awhile you start to realize that shiny hunting for the same pokemon or trying to get your favorite animal crossing villager to visit your island will make you become marketable and youll succumb to the pibby glitch."

🐰''Thank goodness this is all just an SMP, right XDCC?''

🤡''……………………… Why are we here again? Who am i, who am i? What are you even saying?''

🎀''We're gyetting one of the boys at 3 am." … Huh. Maybe he's off-stream mining? Hope he's not in creative.

🐰''Dont worry raggedy andy, Im gonna be so racist itll open the door."

🎀 ''JAX NO!!! YOU SHOULDNT BE RACIST TO DOOR!!!!''

🐰''Okay i wont be racist… JUST KIDDING, IM ULTRA RACIST NOW. You're not afraid of gay people, are you?"

🎀''JAXX!!!!!!!!! THATS LITERALLY MY ONLY FEAR (homophobic) WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS…!!!"

🐰''(minecraft open door) im gonna have to take my balls back from you kaufy. Papyrus.. im going to grillbys, do you want anything?"

🎀 ''..OH….. KAUFMO985 BECAME PART OF THE PIBBY GLITCH. INSERT SEINFIELD THEME."

tobecontinued.

[swiftfootedachilles]

hiiii achilles!!!!!!! how are you today? i miss your gallavich hot takes so do you have something in mind? have a good day 🌷

well apparently my big gallavich hot take is them having a jewish wedding 😭

okay. hmmm, actual unpopular hot takes? i gotchu

i want more intersex headcanons (that are well-researched and not fetishizing intersex people!). i want more t4t mlm gallavich. and i DEFINITELY want more t4t trans!mickey nonbinary!ian gallavich. because amab people are just as transgender as anyone else even if they dont take hormones or drastically change their appearance or change their name. nonbinary people arent women lite and men lite, theyre nonbinary. and i think nonbinary!ian is so slay

ian does not enjoy bottoming. even when he consented to doing it with trevor, he didnt actually like it. he simply tolerated it

when staying with the gallaghers, ian and mickey are very brazen about their sex life and dont try to stay quiet or even close their door sometimes, BUT they wont fuck in common areas like the kitchen and living room unless it was on the couch and they were 1000% sure there was NO chance of any of the kids walking in on them. they wouldnt traumatize liam or franny like that (stfu s5 doesnt count bc they knew liam was too young to have memories yet 😭 (speaking of, why does nobody ever talk about the fact that liam was 2 years old for like 3 whole years 😭😭))

their "security" business as it is in the finale isnt very sustainable. it literally started as money laundering, and ian didnt know. i think he eventually finds out by accident thru kev or vee what mickeys original "security business" plan was, and he gets super pissed. but i think they could very easily turn it into a legal business. we see them starting to do that, by working with real dispensaries instead of the shady illegal one kev and vee have in the bar. nevertheless, id like to read more future fics where they grow or adapt the business, and even move on to a new business altogether! theyre not exactly the career-having type. i think change over time actually helps stabilize them

THEY NEED TO PAINT THAT FUCKING AMBULANCE. ITS STOLEN. WHY DONT THEY EVER PAINT IT ALL BLACK OR SOMETHING?? WHERE DID THEY GET THE NEW PLATES. DID THEY EVEN CHANGE THE PLATES?? the s4 writers would never let a scam have so many plot holes 😔 they wouldve SHOWED us mickey and his brothers getting new plates for the truck

ian gets a tattoo for mickey. youre telling me that after the surprise anniversary party, you think ian WOULDNT get mickey somehow immortalized on his body? WRONG. he definitely does. i dont think its his name over his heart. maybe something small on his wrist? or M on his ring finger💜 thats a fav headcanon of mine

they dont start a family until close to 40. the longer theyre married, the more they realize they have to catch up on. learning to live together long-term, paying off debts and bills, moving, vacations, reconnecting with old friends and family, being there for liam where theu couldnt for their other siblings when they were liam's age, watching their nieces and nephews often to gain more caretaking and parenting skills, medical issues, family emergencies. theres just a lot that takes up their time, and they become very comfortable being two before they ever try to become three

they nonseriously say shit like "i want a divorce" but they NEVER mean it. even when one says it as a joke or like in s11e3, the other will ask "did you really mean that? do you really want a divorce? do you think we'll ever get one?" and they end up having a rare super serious heart-to-heart about it. about what they think the future might hold - or at least, what they want it to hold. the longer they are with each other the more stable their relationship becomes. bickering is less common, big fights are less explosive and violent, and they learn to become comfortable with silence

[chatange]

soft asks by sunnysideanon

i treat ask games like surveys, we all know this.

what song makes you feel better?

who listens to music to feel better?

what’s your feel-good movie?

i dont watch movies qwq im sorry these are rough answers

what’s your favorite candle scent?

i usually like winter fruit smells. so plums, pomegranates, grape, deep and rummy sorta scents. i also like rich sweet ones, resin-y smells. i like a nice light floral mix (iris, jasmine, lily, rose) on cleaning days.

what flower would you like to be given?

lillies. any lillies, but i like madonna lillies

who do you feel most you around?

my partner system, but specifically trent. he is me, and ive never felt it more than when we're together. my brothers are a close second.

say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical)

i have gold rings around my pupils i just noticed the other day. they're gorgeous and i have no idea where i got them from genetically-- maybe my mother. she has gold in her green eyes. i'm glad i got something from her eyes, i'm jealous of them. i have insanely enviable hair. my nails are elegant... also enviable. im wicked talented and sharp, nobody can create the way i can-- BITCH???? ok one of my favorite songs paused randomly that was a whole experience. answer cancelled next question

what color brings you peace?

pale green. this isn't bad, though.

what calms you down?

being alone in my own space. writing music/poetry. having a clean space. music-- hey, i guess that first question was onto smth

what’s something you’re excited for?

grocery run tomorrow, haircut sometime this week. yay.

what’s your ideal date?

taking turns spitting vodka into each others mouths and banging our skulls together til we pass out

how are you?

im fine! a lot of excess energy strangely which is funny b/c i haven't had any caffiene today. that reminds me i need to add energy drinks to my grocery list. eeeeeeee also feeling sappy. in love. so in love hehe

what’s your comfort food?

probably any kind of salad theyre very safe foods

favorite feel-good show?

i dont dream of watching televi-- interview with the vampire.

fairy lights or LED lights?

fairy lights. LED lights make me anxious to look at but now Everyone has them so what do i know

do you still love stuffed animals?

yes.

most important thing in your life?

myself, but secondly, my fiance.

what do you want most in the world right now?

a kiss.

if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

don't smoke cigarettes and don't tell that girl everything.

what would you say to your future self?

keep doing it, even if it's uncomfortable. trust your gut, not your body.

favorite piece of clothing?

my black turtleneck or my fur coat.

what’s something you do to de-stress?

bounce and moan on it

what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

moneyyyy!!! oh, personal. money from their personal bank account!!! (a card. i collect those.)

what movie would you want to live in?

childs play. id fuck that doll and save the little boy JFIOWEJFE

which character would you want to be?

... oh myself isnt an option ok. then id wanna be in clueless and be cher. id like to be rich

hugs or hand-holding?

hugs. i need my hands for other things but i can be hugged forever

morning, afternoon or night?

ALL OF THEM ALL OF THE TIME

what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

horses, dirt roads, hotel rooms, cigarette smoke.

[quodekash]

im back.

hell yeah flute man

pls my dads are so sweet, i cant deal

IVE CONTINUED FOR THREE MINUTES AND IM ALREADY ABOUT TO CRY AGAIN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

THE WAY THE BLANKET IS RUFFLED AT HIS NECK MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE A GRANNY OR SMTH I CANT STOP LAUGHING

IM CRYING

IM LAUGHING SO HARD IM CRYING

DID THEY REALLY JUST

OMG

IS HE STUMBLING BECAUSE THE GROUND THEY SLEPT ON IS HARD OR IS HE STUMBLING BECAUSE THEY GOT HARD

i guess what im trying to say is DID THEY REALLY JUST FU

YOU GUMNUTS YOU LOST THE KID

OF COURSE YOU FREAKING LOST THE KID

THE ONE TIME I GET EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO A CHILD, IT GETS LOST

THIS HAPPENED WITH JIGSAW AS WELL

what is it with our skyy 2 and introducing me to small children that i get emotionally attached to anD THEN RIPPING THEM AWAY FROM ME

he'll be fine tho, im sure of it. he knows what hes doing. and even if he doesnt, he's got two dads and two uncles to look after him, theyll find him and rescue him in the most overly dramatic way possible

my bet tho: he's just gone back to the village and he's completely safe and yod's trying to radio them to let them know hes safe but their radio isnt working, so he's gonna go into the forest to look for them while the four dudes wander around the forest to find the kid, and then theyll all run into each other and be like "welp we panicked for nothing" and then go back to the village and then theyll kiss their boyfriends and longtae will appear with his 184cm tall boyfriend and theyll all party and celebrate

(that last part is a mere wish, i know my boy doesnt show up at all and im sad about it)

OHHHH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

its totally fine then, theyll find him and he'll be safe and sound

oh look at that, they did a custody switch

i think the real thing we should be saying here is: it's already evening and your legs are STILL hurting?

YOU GUMNUTS, DONT GO LOOKING AS WELL

THEYRE GONNA FIND THE KID AND COME BACK AND FIND YOU GUYS MISSING

AND THE CYCLE WILL NEVER END

HOLY FREAKING HELL YOU IDIOTS

bro is just chilling

i love this kid so much

he's saying this terrifying thing about how a wild animal nearly killed him so he climbed a tree and got stuck in it all night, and he's just so chill about it

i just love him so much

well how the hell are you gonna communicate that with your boyfriends

REMINDER: PRAN AND TIAN HAVE NOW SPENT THREE DAYS IN THIS FOREST

WHAT THE HELL ARE THE VILLAGERS THINKING??

THEY DONT HAVE THEIR HEAD CHIEF FOREST GUY BECAUSE HES BEEN IN THIS FOREST FOR TWO DAYS

also: surely patpran are getting close to their one week quota, right? they had one week to get the thing signed, ive forgotten how long they were already there for, but theyve been in a forest for three days so like idk man

YOU GUMNUTS

SURELY YOU KNOW YOUR BOYFRIENDS WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW THEYRE IDIOTS WHO WILL TRY TO COME FIND YOU WHEN YOU DONT COME BACK

they all probably smell. theyve been wearing those clothes for days in a forest

and pat probably still thinks he can find pran based on his scent, bless his silly idiotic heart

TIAN HASNT HAD HIS FREAKING HEART MEDICATION IN FREAKING DAYS

THE MAN'S GONNA DIE

P'AUUUUU

LMAOOOOOO CALLED OUTTTT

omg bonding

"why do i feel like you're just insecure and not sure if you're good enough to tell anyone that story?" awh

"you know nothing" "why wouldnt i know? i know how it feels to be insecure, unsure if im good enough" wait hang on

NO

HONEYBUN

NO WAY

HONEY YOU'VE BOTH MADE SO MANY SACRIFICES FOR EACH OTHER TO GET TO WHERE YOU ARE TODAY

i wanna hug him so bad

FREAKING FINALLY

MAN NEEDS HIS MEDICATION

ID RATHER MY DAD DIDNT DIE TODAY

GJWEKBRSVD

THATS IT

IM DONE

I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE

IM NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY OKAY RIGHT NOW

ITS THE WATCH

i know he has it just because pran dropped it in the forest and pat picked it up, but its still the same watch that pat picked up for pran when they were children, all those freaking years ago

i just think its a lovely parallel

i love them so much

hsdshgjsdhjgsd

SEE?? you help each other out, you both sacrifice for one another, YOU ARE IN LOVE AND YOU MIGHT NOT BE PERFECT BUT YOU'RE THE DAMN BEST AND GVERYJDHFGB

BITCHES BE CRYING RN

ITS ME

IM BITCHES

SOBBING MY EYES OUT

COMFORTING DAD PATS (pats like the action of patting, not multiple of the character whose shoulder is being patted. words are hard)

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

HSDFHSDFHSDHG

THEY MEAN PROBABLY TOO MUCH TO ME

ALSO PRAN DEFINITELY SMELLS WORSE THAN PAT FOR ONCE, HE HASNT SHOWERED IN DAYS

ANYWAY, HUGS

I LOVE HUGS SO MUCH

SAME

HE IS ME

I LOVE YOD SO MUCH

shoot i ran out of images

just fyi: it took over two hours for me to get from halfway through 2/4 to halfway through 4/4. and i still have a whole episode left go to. this may take like a week to finish

[blood-injections]

I'm like in the Horrors right now (very mild head cold caught from my cousin lol) pleeease talk funkobra to me I wanna talk about them 🥺

Oh no not the horrors,, hope you feel better soon <3

Yeyeys funkobra ive been having thoughts today but then again i am every day theyre always on my mind honesty its a problem. They're best friends they're sometimes gay for each other they're rivals they're partners in crime they're complete fucking idiots. Ghouls kinda got a pathetic crush crazy puppy love sorta thing going on for kobra half the time and the other half just wants to fight him but just in that unbridled energy sort of way and like he has so much he needs to move he needs to fight he needs to be grounded by the physicality and pain. Also he just doesn't know any other way to show affection but figures fighting should work cause its kinda their thing. Hes like. This is flirting right? There's deeper stuff too yknow but that's the gist of it.

Meanwhile Kobra loves Ghoul as much as he hates him yknow but also its literally like that for everyone with him but where like with poison where its like i hate you with every inch of my being but i love you id die for you i could never leave your side with ghoul its like. You're cute i wanna bash your face in. Or youre annoying you fucking piss me off but youve also kind of become my best friend? And i still want to fight you and hurt you when you piss me off but youre part of the crew now and we've fought together and that means you're not alowed to die. Like unless its by my hands. Thats kinda the sum of what they are 2 me. Like where poison and kobra could never Actually kill eachother with ghoul and kobra honestly. theres a chance. And they kiss somtimes. Its a good thing they arent immortal or something because they'd literally be killing each other(mostly for fun) every five minutes.

Then theres the whole they both just like to fight for reasons and Tism and whatever so they fight eachother because it works and its safer than any other methods of getting thay shit out of their system because most of the time they know when to stop to not serously hurt the other like one of the could get if the just went and started a fight with someone or something.

They're so fucking stupid and it is very important to me that everyone knows. They're idiots. Neither of them understand social cues ghoul has no boundaries kobra is brutally honest and has anger issues they should not be allowed near people and their stupidity will bounce off of each other they actively make each other dumber they'll rile each other up and dare each other to do stupid shit left and right and they both have no reason to but theyll accept those dares regarless of danger or lameness or anything. "Hey go stand in that corner and stare at the wall for a hour." "Okay" or "hey drive your bike off that cliff" "bet"

They steal shit, they're both banned from tommy chow meins for life, they wont steal from dr d because they have too much respect for him but he watches them like a hawk so they dont break something because theyre buffons and will elbow and trip eachother out of the blue and they have indeed broken radio equipment before from both just tripping but also tumbling into it and proceeding to have a wrestling match on his floor. They're annoying they're the only ones that can stand each other and they're even more annoying together, the zones hate them. They're best friends they're soulmates in a way they're an argument away from losing control in a fight and actually killing each other but also if anything happened to one of them the other would fucking tear apart the desert piece by piece, set battery city on fire, or go on a rampage and not stop even to sleep until they get revenge or fix it.

[zylophie]

Hiiii👋

Ive never done a matchup before so this should be interesting

o the preferred gender i want to be matched with is a boy

I am ambiverted, so im naturally more introverted around strangers(especially boys) and more extrovetted arohnd friends or people i know. I can also be VERY sarcastic, snarky, or witty

My dream job is to be a voiceactor, but my hobbies are drawing, gaming, watching anime(thats not a hobby but who cares), writing, and editing

My love language is quality time

Idrk what to put in fun facts..... Im clumsy(?) Like not super clumsy or anything, but i randomly hurt myself a lot cuz i bump into things

I dont really have an ideal type.....someone who knows how to cook? Maybe someone who knows another language? Id want someone that isnt from where i am(whoch is america) so we can share eachothers cultures together

Besides anything obvious, i cant rlly think of something i dont want in a person..

al matchup plz

Okay thats it tyy, i lookforward to seeing le results ❤

"૮₍ •⤙•˶|💌 ᴮᵉᵉᵖ..! ᵒⁿᵉ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉˎˊ˗

✉! .•°⟡˚ ༘ ʸᵒᵘ ʳᵉᶜᵉⁱᵛᵉᵈ ᵃ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ʸᵘᵉ!

⌨️ᶻᶻᶻ...yue is typing... ♡

 ↻ᴹᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ˡᵒᵃᵈᵉᵈ !

꒰ʜɪɪ ʜɪɪ, ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏ��ʀ ᴅᴀᴛᴇ?꒱ 🎐~*

     ❛❛,,𝐎ᵖᵉⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵃⁱˡ ᵗᵒ ˢᵉᵉ ʷʰᵒ ⁱˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ!,,❜❜1

╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚ ╴╴╴╴˚ೃ ╴╴╴╴ꕤ₊˚╴╴╴

▶• ılıılılılılıılılılılı. 0 ⁿᵒʷ ᵖˡᵃʸⁱⁿᵍ... Project Sekai!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴜᴘ♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵖᵃⁱʳ ⁱˢ... Shinonome Akito! ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Akito doesn't want to admit it but he really enjoys those little bickering moment with you, not many people can talk back to him since most people find him scary...so he really adore your sarcasm, it's oddly endearing! 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He really like surprising you whenever he can especially when you're so focused in your own little world , mostly because you have the cutest reactions so it's not his fault for wanting to see them often...

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Akito would often try to join you whenever you want to do something that day even if he might be bad at it... like you want to try a new recipe today? He will try his best even though he might mess up midway but the poor boy just wants to spend more time with you whenever you are free! 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He doesn't really mind that you're pretty tall for your age...well it's easier for him to sneak a few kisses whenever you're distracted, right? 

╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚ ╴╴╴╴˚ೃ ╴╴╴╴ꕤ₊˚╴╴╴

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴜᴘ♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵖᵃⁱʳ ⁱˢ...Tenma Tsukasa! ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Tsukasa like watching your reactions to certain things, your energetic side whenever you guys hang out together with friends, he find it endearing that such a quiet person is full of life when you are alone with those you trust but sometimes he like it more if you show that side of you to him alone more...

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Whenever you're in your own little world, he doesn't bother you and try to be quiet as possible so not scare you, he will leave some cookies and a drink next to your desk with a note to remind you that you need a break sometimes from working so hard! 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He is very protective of you, he is afraid of you getting hurt since you're so clumsy and actually get a bruise on your knee one time...so don't mind him being a worrywart and keep pestering you for safety measures!! 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He doesn't mind you being tall for your age...heck he won't even mind if you're taller than him, though you seem to tease him a lot especially when he is being extra in certain moments...so friendly bantering with him is very often, guaranteed! 

╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚ ╴╴╴╴˚ೃ ╴╴╴╴ꕤ₊˚╴╴╴

💬 note from modmizuki (yue) : I hope the results are to your liking! This is my very first attempt at matchup so hopefully it's not too bad??

[angel-the-menace]

My GF became a nazi over a Vtuber🤦🏾‍♀️

So kind of a sad update: if you follow my twitter and wondering about the abrupt break im taking. i broke up with one of GFs today…It started with her getting upset at the vtuber stuff ahwere she took the side of people who were accusing me of something i never did as well sending me death threats over it. I kind of need to vent this out tbh.

So a little back story we had been moots over on the hellsite known as twitter for a long time. Genuinely one of the sweetest people ive ever met. and being an anime nerd was a a massive plus. We started out watching anime together and other things for a while and after a few months of us flirting and being nerds eventually we decided to start dating officially. Everything was fine until the vtuber discourse where some well known ones start diving headfirst into transphobia. I called out the bs as i really despise any form of bigotry. After that they started claiming i personally harrased and drove an unrelated vtuber to retirement when i didnt even know about said vtuber until after their fans started accusing me of that. Eventually they added me to a list my other gf tracked down to be targeted for harrasment some of which included death threats. And went to my gf and me about it. My gf didnt seem to care and took the word of fellow fans over me. After that she started posting more and more out right fascist shit and interacting with a lot of nazi accounts because those accounts were showing support for said vtuber.

So she eneded up going down a gateway into extreme far-right and even blantant nazi rhetoric and antisemism. Not to mention the anti-queer stuff shes began spouting depsite being queer herself 🤦🏾‍♀️.I tried my hardest to steer her away from there but she wouldnt listen. She'd apologize and go back to doing it again. She even lashed out one of my other GFs because she mentioned the list when she noticed and started talkng issue with it. This all came to a head today where i just couldnt let this bs slide anymore. I told her that ive tried talking to her but she not even trying to do better from when i first talked to her about the problem. I loved what we had together but i really dont want to date a nazi which she somehow failed to understand depite it being spelled out for her. She thinks it was about something trivial and unrelated. Ig im better off now but...it doesnt dull any of the pain that i lost someone i loved to the far right because of a vtuber id never interacted with.

Tldr: i broke up with my gf because she went down a nazi rabbit hole because she thought a vtuber was more important.

[nams2]

qpr tag is getting super anti qpr today so im gonna try and dilute it by talk about the standard qpr problem which is

its so hard to find qpr rep for real

Can only think of one show that has one in it: koisenu futari, which is good but also contains a bunch of common triggers, so as good as it is, i know a bunch of you wont be able to watch it

other than that, ive never seen qpr rep. none in any games, none in any movies, none in my dms, nowhere

I actually tried searching the term “queerplatonic” on itch.io and found nothing. mostly because it turns out itch.io has a terrible search function but even when I tried to do that thing where you tell a real search engine to do it and found nothing

its honestly pretty demoralizing

and you have to remember im not going to enjoy something just because it has a qpr in it - hence why im not reading fanfiction. most of it ive seen is for shows id never watch. plus i dont like nsfw so from what ive heard thats like 80% of it out

my point is. theres like three peices of media with qprs in them. finding them is super hard and most people only like a small fraction of the media produced so uh. i feel like ill be lucky if i ever find even one piece of media that not only has the rep, but is something i would watch even if it didnt have the rep

[pwblogarchive]

September 2007

September 11, 2007

“folie a duex”

sometimes the planets align

sometimes they dont

its like how part of my childhood was stolen when they took planetary status away from pluto

well be there one day

honestly i dont mind you saying fuck you to me-

when you included the "horse you rode in on"

it kind of went to hell

i am sick- like i cant ever get enough sleep or time or words

as this thing grows i become more and more insecure.

cant look anyone in the eyes-

i am paranoid- worried sick that i am not good enough for anyone who looks at me

i know how ridiculous this sounds

trust me

the new video makes me feel the big black sadness

folie a deux is the idea of shared madness- the scientific term for romeo and juliet

i have a feeling that we share that with eachother when you have your headphones on

currently working on: taking it easy-

dont mean to be so heavy just want you to know why i look so gray sometimes lately.

September 14, 2007

after the pornstar john holmes career deflated he turned to showing up at LAX and stealing peoples bags off of the conveyor belt.

i watched someone do this to me at the airport today.

i am obsessed with the change that can turn in the world.

that is what our new video is about.

why was every question about 'how bad is britneys performance gonna be' and not about anything that truly matters in this world.

sometimes the message is more important than the art.

later on we will release a remixed version that includes more of our personal experience in africa.

for now i am content to see the love between these two and the way the civil war that rages around them affects it.

its hard to imagine that they are just like the kids that show up at our shows, only born in a different country...

vintage louis vuitton bags under the eyes

the marlbo-glow

i need him more than he needs me, he needs her more than he needs me and so on.

theres nothing new under the sun

but were reading on existentialism in the shade.

i am so in love with YOU and the idea of YOU listeing to the music and singing the words.

i know its weird but i like to imagine what you are thinking when its playing.

if it werent for that i am not sure where i would turn.

i guess this is another halfhearted thank you. just because you keep tuning in.

"dont you think its insane how donald duck never wears pants?"

life is better when youre around.

but yes i do think its insane.

September 22, 2007

eyes the size of the moon.

iron and wine "the trapeze swinger"

Posted by xoat 1:35 AM

September 26, 2007

isnt it ironic how "ironic" has no ironies in it

havent slept in days.

think i am starting to crack.

my room is thrashed, covered in matter that doesn't matter and i almost cried while watching garden state- i think its not funny anymore.

sick of watching what genius is.

sometimes genius is being completely ordinary.

when i look up at the sky i want to eat the stars.

its daylight again, everything goes back to being boring.

nothing too much to say. just gonna watch the world spin this

Posted by xoat 1:17 AM

September 28, 2007

i dont know if has been apparent or not but in the past year or so i have become so insecure its insane. it blows my mind everytime i leave the house i feel weird. strange. i feel like everything i do ruins something of my friends or my band or the songs i love. i feel like i am constantly on the defense, like i have to work so hard just to make people not hate me that i am not even myself. i havent been able to look the front row of the crowd in the eyes and hide in the back most of the time because i am so insecure with myself.

but for some reason tonight that all changed. the show tonight i connected. i felt the electricity. the light came back on. it felt so good. thank you to all that were there.

sorry. not trying to be a downer or a "poor me" kind of thing, its just been a weird adventure. it feels good to plug back in. this journal entry was one i wrote a year ago this week when i think i was pretty sure id die at age 27 (glad i didnt):

"i couldnt stay away.

the words are obsession and always have been.

heartache lite. diet love.

i am a catch and release boy.

kind of.

put summer in a pine box.

i went to sleep in june and woke up in the middle of september.

making out on stretchers, getting some in the back of an ambulance.

my hips are dry docked.

love is incidental.

the best verus the rest.

'they wipe their feet on our dreams'.

ive got 27 years hiding in the smile wrinkles of my eyes. the real ones and the fake ones take up the same space in the skin.

noone gives a fuck about eyes that are always leaking.

besides youre just hushing headboards that are always creaking.

its become apparent that there may be no one thinking of you the way i do at this very moment.

were "out of the woods"

but i am in love with the tree i used to lie under.

eyes green with envy or brown and full of shit.

or somewhere in between.

i want this to be a remix of our nighttimes."

the smiles lately have all been real. except sometimes its hard to smile when theres a camera in your fae and your just trying to get through the day. gonna try to fuck up less. nothing poetic about it: maybe things are about to get better, maybe theyre gonna get darker. i am in love with everything that is broken and sometimes i like it that whats broken is in love with me. forever kids are magnets for eachother.

anyway, finally got the chance to catch up on my insomnia and read a bunch of your letters. they keep my head straight when i get it cloudy. thanks for sticking it out with me- not like as some guy on a stage- but as an honest connection. it means alot.

ok back to being negative and pouty.

sleep tight or have a good day.

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

trigger warning: i speculate on if a cat i rescued has suffered from two different tools of possible animal abuse within this post (water squirting primarily, with a bit about plastic-bags at the end). there is no graphic depiction of any event

my heart broke today, finding out someone in my cat's past probably squirted water at her 🥺

i started using a squirt-bottle to add water to the wet-food for my cat, Allegra (named after the allegery meds bc i didnt know it was a real name related to music, thank you), since it's summer and we live in southern California + most of cats' water-needs are met through their meat/wet-food, hence why many (but not all) cats who eat wet-food don't often use their water-fountains (apparently. and also my cat is one of them). i just wanted to make sure my cat isn't getting dehydrated since it's so hot and she's fully stopped taking a liking to fountains since being switched to wet-food. she's a Siamese Cat and her coloration makes it obvious that still has her winter coat on. my concern makes complete sense, like, yeah, sure, add some water to her meat, why not, can't hurt and it's a good idea

and, so far, i have ended up doing this when Allegra was nowhere around. and i just never noticed that before. so im like "just gonna use this squirt-bottle without any problems, much less any bad reactions from Allegra" in my ignorance as i fail to process the fact that my cat hasn't even realized i have been using one on her food. she's been elsewhere. every time. having no idea, probably sleeping soundly. and id just go find her and show her that her food is ready for her and now it has had extra water mixed in, and confirm she's eating it; all as i continue to not process that she missed the squirt-bottle entirely

and for additional context, my cat was a stray. i dont know for how long. but with how friendly she has always been and how scared she was of certain outdoor stimuli, i assume when i first found her that she'd been newly abandoned house-cat of a largely indoor variety rather than one of our neighborhood's regular cats (both outdoor/semi-outdoor and feral) that patrol the block or so around us, much less a socialized feral-cat. but she was approximately 2 years old when she started stalking me to demand i adopt her. so there are a number of years where i have no idea what what she was up to or experienced

and, as part of her being my first cat ever, i watched a lot of videos to research how to take care of Allegra (including "how do you pet a cat" lol i didnt want to get anything wrong!!), mostly by Jackson Galaxy. and i agree with his plea to not use squirt-bottles on cats as it just makes the cat fearful of their owner holding said squirt-bottle, rather than be scared of the bottle itself or learn from the "bad cat" action they did or whatever. i had been taught similar by past trainers with my family's dogs as such could instigate said dog to bite/attack someone to get the squirting human to stop using the bottle against them, so i was in immediate agreement that the same logic would apply to cats

so when Allegra followed me today to see if i would refill her bowl and heard me spritz a couple times into her bowl-- she RAN off and hid. and my cat p much always comes out when she's realized she is being called, she does not like me not knowing where she is nor does she like it when i completely walk past her in search for her. she always at least cries in a "Marco!"/"Polo!" fashion for me to be led to her hiding spot -- that is, if she's not already doing what more usually happens: where she is just straight up meowing "I'm here! I'm over here!" while she hurriedly trots after me to correct my having completely missed her in her said hiding spot, utterly abandoning her previous stealth. the only times she hasn't done EITHER of those things was when she first getting to know me (makes complete sense; completely grew out of that long-since by now) and when she'd hear the fire-alarm (we are working on getting her to NOT silently hide under the bed where i can't reach her when she does that). but my point is: it rarely happens these days. and, after hearing the spray-bottle, even though it wasn't pointed at her: she ran away and hid silently where i couldn't find her for like 15 minutes as i walked through every room of the house, calling her name, only to be greeted with absolute quiet 🥺🥺🥺 that's not like her at all, the poor baby

so now i know Allegra has a history with spray-bottles... in addition to my pre-existing knowledge that she is scared of a couple of other concerning things that i am HOPING are just her having not been socialized with them as a sound rather than that she was abused with them (the most worrying one of those being her fear of plastic-bags/trashbags. she bolts whenever she hears me change the trashcans' bags. but she stopped hiding as part of learning to trust me. now, she'll run into the other room at most but she won't hide in there; usually she just flinches and watches with Big Eyes to make sure i dont approach her with the bag, and then relaxes as she sees i'm just changing the trashcans, and goes back to her bathing or napping or whatever. again, it could just be a lack of being socialized leading to her fearing them and the noise they make. but it also could be abuse. ill likely never know for sure. but im happier hoping its a lack of socialization, even though i have no evidence to support that over the other option)

(plus! you add in the fact that she was clearly dumped by my house at some point in her lifespan since she has a micro-chip that, and i quote, had its information "deleted"— not "never finished putting in their info" or "accidentally erased due to some micro-chip subscription's lack of payment". but both the Animal Rescue person who scanned her chip as well as the person on the phone i called to put MY information into her said chip, aka: two very unrelated people, said her previous owners "deleted" their information. that doesn't sound great of her past owners' character. who the hell dumps a cat rather than surrender them to a shelter?)

and sure, maybe she reacted like that similarly because of a lack of socialization with a squirt-bottle. one that barely made any noise. and wasn't even pointed at her. and didnt get her wet in any way. but also? this dramatic of a reaction to a squirt-bottle?? and considering how stereotypical it is to squirt water at a misbehaving cat?

i'm a shitty fighter, but more and more as Allegra gives me sneak-peeks into her past before we met: id pay someone off of Craigslist to give her past owners' two black fucking eyes, i'll tell you what

[aamethyst000]

Boredom (May 7,24 2:35pm)

I woke up at 12:50pm today, instead of in the morning, like i wanted but is okie. i can still work on waking up somewhat early. im feelig lazy now, i dont want to do anything or even think of what to make for dinner for tonight. i just wish mum can start cooking again but her artheritis keeps getting worse and worse every year. my little brother is learning how to cook, thankfully. even though he is being taught by just me, itd be nice if my mother can get in on teaching him too, insteas of just giving up so easily after having a third child (technically forth but i wont get into that right now).

I have been trying to find the papers for my name change and i cannot find it. im starting to get upset about it. my little brothers ID was a whole ass year late coming in, but since we went to rupert, they are making sure that the card is making it to the village here. i did not think that my name chane will be this difficult. i find it annoying, but i am tearing up my room trying to find my papers to send back to the agency. at the same time, i am very nersous about this name change. like, im going to have to tell any person i bump into, my name change and pronouns. it makes me feel like i want to shut down again, but then the feeling of letting these people win over the fact that its "easier" and more benificial for them to call me by my dead name. i almost just want to use up the rest of my money just to move out of here and start anew with my life. i so badly want that in my life, but this is a slow process that i can tolorate and my stubbornness can push through. I do want to mention though, ever since i found out that i have been trans almost all of my life when i didnt know that i can identify as 2spirit, rather than just choosing one gender binary over the other. all my life i have been calling myself a tomboy even though im not a famale or male. ive noticed that i tend to avoid mention that i identified as a woman/girl for a very short amount of my life. i never corrected anyone when i was mistaken as a man/boy for like a split second. i prefer to be a genderless blob and not to be precived as a person or just precieved in general lmao that would be nice, or be a cat living out there in the world or as a domesticated cat living the high life.

11:27pm - we just had fries for dinner tonight, which is fine. thankfullly i didnt have to do much other than fry uup our din din. now i am just watching the metal family on youtube <3 i fckn love this youtube show. glam and dee are my favourite charaters <3 they are the reason why i came back to rock and metal bands, along with punk but i think that is a givin lmao

i know ive said this before but i really like writing my journal entries here on the laptop. i really love this. not to mention the fact that i can write whatever i want and whener i feel like it. even whe i cant sleep at night. it really does help me. i seriously wish we had a cafe here. not one that is directly connected to the rec centre or right inside the gymnaisium. im going to be 26 next month and i have a proper excuse to not be around any children. i dont like them, they are loud, messier than the adults and and too much for me to personally handle. so i tend to stay home a lot. not to mention that they are loud (i know i already mentioned that, i just said it again for good measure). anyway, this would be a good time for me to live in town. mainly in prince george. thats where id like to be at least, if i end up in rupert, that will be a good place to start. i would just have to put up with bumping into my so called father. fucking alcholic bitch ass, women beater. hes been my main motivation to not drink so much, thankfully. as well as my own little fear of drinking too much. so, either way, i guess i thank him for motivating me not to drink, while my mother and all my other fmaily members have unintenionally helped me decide that i deffinitely do not want kids of my own. i guess thats where my dislike of children came from, to be honest. anyway, i think im going to make this journal entry short tonight. i didnt do much today and didnt do much of thinking. sat and watched a bunch of episodes of 3 differents shows i really love. Have a good night, readers~

[solardick]

Happy BS day. Its valentines. I’m not allowed knowing love. Because god’s an asshole. And enjoys fucken with me. And it’s always ever going to be just me. And know that in dying. I dont care anymore. That stupid girl they always talking about is going to be there. Today, yay! My lung hurts. Smoke another ciggarette.

Wonder whys the dovstor arw going to say when i ask to be euthanized. Just send me a guy already so i can spend the rest of my short life being fucked. Like i have been since my first memory. And Since im never going to add anything to life. And for the first tome this year theres the semblance of winter. Its only ten degrees warmer than it should be today and not 20.

Oh and the girl is gone. Wonder who’s gonna replace her.

Yay for being punished all fucken day. Get the fuck out of my way.

And fuck tarot im done. All y’all fo id give me the oppositre of what i create and my intent. Fuck this rapist culture. Soend tbe rest of my short life gaming and hetting drunk. An dmy dragon image in now trash.

Not allowed being healthy others control my life. Wonder what having independance from malicious influences. Something id like to experiemce before i die. Ive never been. Maybe one day. Ill go. Lol.

I nailed it in that dragon image though. My perfect reflection. And the tower crumbles. Everytime.

Mmmnn i can feel it. Serpent. Its stirring. And after fetting hit in the face with a box. Fuck this. Im done. Fuck all of you. Go sit in the corner and wait.

Souffy, fuck off pls.

And… uh, maybe she realized she was in love with me. And could no longer stay. It was a nice two step dance we did though. Was fun. Bye luv. Maybe one day.

It’s always sexual. I have a very lovable image. I just be me. I always get fucked over. But circumstances won’t allow. Im locked down. Man. And they won’t leave me be. I left my family what eight years ago now. Haven’t had any peace pressence has always been there. … born in hell. I dint know what else to say.

Well you know what they say. Gotta poor your sexuality into something else. Like making love to god. Or jesus. Or blogging indiscriminately, unfiltered. It has to be raw. Or. Not at all. When uou have nothign good to say you sys nothing at all. Maybe in. Fairy tail ‘bout being saved by thee glorious father.

Maybe her boifriend, will show up and beat me up. Because she flirted to spite. Spite. Yeah, yeah. That word, works well. Think im being framed up again? Probably.

Hahah. Ugh. I mean. Im pretty celibate. So its usually from the opposing parties. Thats how it started. Even down near 6-8 yr’old. If its coming from women, its either a good desire that would play out right if present corcumstnaves werent treating me lije a marionnette or there wasn’t amole amounts of violent carnage preventing any act forward. Or its a dirty desire. And im turned off. And do the morally good thing. Ethically may be skitchy. The couple times it did. Treatment and marionnette and all that. Not in a healthy state of being. And thats beside the while line up of scripted ones. There to be serpents. Other people serpents. The white ones with the crow.

Where do you want me to step? Here?

Uh, ok. The added script. Strength from mother to the “king” the child as self. Mother to child. Leo. And death. A parental bond with mother. One showing trust and support. Missing piece to the script. My own, fuck her. Man. I cant do it. There’s nothing there. And for as long as im nothing but tred, i couldn’t afford to care even if i wanted to.

Now to see of i camt find something to watch that isnt predomiantly gay, or gradually drawn into being. Risky stuff. I live dangerously.

Like tomorrow war, where the threat is actually the russians. With there symbolic connection to man and the machine vs. Women and temptation. Gotta fight the good fight. It had monsters and russians in it. I should have known better. In godzilla it was what the Chinese? God sake. Gotta keep my uranus in sag occupied. Uh?

I soent what 20 years in a hole. Not being a part of the system. And then as soon as i do. “Covid”happens. Yeah, ok? Where the real world? I dont think ive met it yet.

Anyway. Crazy bs aside. Im grateful she left. Better pay, closer to home. Can’t go wrong. Even though she hurt me in two ways. Knowing that she wasn’t there to get in my way today. Was awesome. And the good feeling remains. The Dove and the Dragon. The dove, a portent to positive experience. This land is populates by too many crows though. The most dominate species here. Only in the spring and summer are they mostly chased away. Creating a loop of conditional experience. That of using the the functioning increases of solar energy to overcoming the negative association to growth. Its not at all different that the tv. Of fighting monsters and such. Except that there’s not an overlaying fabricated script over nature. And this function is towards the means of reproduction and establishing a suitable nesting home.

In high populated city zones, the natural is all but lacking. Amd the mass lives within a bubble of conditioning. Which cost millions of lives to make possible. While claiming peace on earth. Though millions of lives doesn’t seem so consequential considering the what now, eight billion?

Twisted metal does seem promising. Thanks justin.

No, it’s just sneaky. It hook punches you.

Well guess im goving up media. And going back to the wind.

Well y’all could give some hearts if your going to stock me anonymously. But no. Only the bad stuff.

[quodekash]

gosh darnnit im tired 

in other words: time for my weekly ramblings about a bl where im mildly interested in the main couple but the side couple means more to me than anything and no i will not stop talking about them 

slight warning, there will be one mention of sa and one mention of murder/suicide (both of which are my personal speculation about particular situations, and there’s no detail apart from the word being mentioned). i also discuss/ramble to myself about mental health problems, and alcohol abuse. so if any of those things are triggering for you in any way, please be cautious about reading this, take necessary precautions, and if it’s particularly distressing, i urge you to call a local hotline for these kinds of emergencies. i care about all of you and your health and safety, whether i know you or not, and if you ever need to talk about anything at all, lemme know, my ask box and my dms are always open. 

anyway, on with the show! 

if you haven’t figured it out yet, this is... 

MY THOUGHTS ON EPISODE 4 OF ABAAB 

(if youre new here, it will literally be all of my thoughts on everything while im watching it bc i feel like im annoying my friends with my ramblings so instead ill annoy all of this circle of tumblr. and it will probably not be coherent. youre welcome.) 

i’m obsessed with his little ‘cher is so cute’ smile 

THATS HOW I FEEL ABOUT LITERALLY THIS EXACT POST 

dONT YOU DARE DO A PATPRAN 

that’s real insightful, cher. id never thought of that one before. the statement really gets me thinking. 

are you- are you saying what i think you’re saying? or am i more dirty minded than i thought 

his hair is extra curly today and its veyr pretty 

the curls are giving charlie spring vibes from the side 

i would like to touch his hair please 

the fact that covid exists in this universe is weirdly funny to me 

yup that sounds about right. no one rly cares about covid anymore when the entire world is ending 

YAY HE’S FINALLY OPENING UP TO HIM 

that freaking sucks tho 

and what’s worse is it’s very likely tian was r*ped 

WHY DO ALL THE HAPPY FEEL-GOOD SHOWS HAVE TO HAVE SAD DEATH BACKSTORIES BEHIND 50% OF THE FREAKING CHARACTERS 

GUN (msp)’S DAD IS DEAD AND HIS MUM SPENDS HALF THE SHOW LOW-KEY DYING (and i swear if they do something to gim in our skyy 2 im gonna fly to thailand and have some words with people) 

AYAN’S DAD LEFT, HIS UNCLE DIED 

THUA’S DAD DIED 

HALF THE CHARACTERS IN THE ECLIPSE HAVE DIAGNOSED DEPRESSION AND THE REST OF THEM ARE UNDIAGNOSED BUT ITS DEFINITELY THERE 

HERE, JACK HAS DEPRESSION (and i rly hope they go into that more in depth later in the show bc he intrigues me. if they dont go into it more then im writing a way too in depth analysis post of jack) 

AND NOW FREAKING CHER’S FRIEND/CRUSH FROM CHILDHOOD IS FREAKING DEAD AND HER BODY WAS FLOATING IN A POND WHICH DOESNT RLY LEAD TO ANY IMMEDIATE THOUGHTS OF A NATURAL DEATH WHICH MEANS IT WAS PROBABLY MURDER AND/OR SUICIDE WHICH MAKES IT EVEN FREAKING WORSE 

i knew it was too good to last. the over-confident, cocky, funny, sassy/sarcastic people are generally the most messed up, they just hide it via humour and feigned confidence (i am most certainly not one of these people at all) 

cher stop drinking, you’re gonna hurt yourself. also the alcohol might feel like it’s lifting the burden of thinking and stops you from worrying about everything thats happening, but itll come rushing back to you when you’re sober and worse because youll have a hangover, and it’s only a temporary fix, drinking only works for a couple of hours. you need a more permanent fix, cos if you keep turning to alcohol, itll turn into addiction and substance abuse and dependency, none of which are good, all of which are much harder to get out of than they are to get into. so yeah, just chill with the drinking a little bit. i get that you need to let it all out and you need to not feel for a bit, and that’s totally okay, but you need to make sure you’re not over-indulging yourself. otherwise youll be very ill in the long-term, both physically and mentally 

PFFFT THIS WAS THE PERFECT SHOT TO END IT ON 

final thoughts: 

theyve both said things that make absolutely no sense in context unless theyre confessions of feelings, and yet theyre definitely gonna continue to do the “what if he doesnt like me back” thing even tho its SO CLEAR to LITERALLY EVERYONE they have feelings for each other 

theyve gotten so close to kissing this episode and yet they havent which is sad, but also at least they have kissed at one point before getting to the point where they COULD have kissed a grand total of siXTY-SEVEN TIMES- (shut up im not talking about tinngun what are you talking about. .....but also if you wanted to see that post where i count out all of the times tinngun didn’t kiss...) 

very sad with the complete and utter lack of threezo in this episode. actually, it’s not even a lack of threezo. neither of them even appeared in the episode. neither was even mentioned. they (i.e. the characters, the creators of the show) are all acting like threezo AREN’T the most important characters in this entire show 

i love threezo 

where is threezo 

or is it zothree

either way i dont mind bc i love them 

where was i 

oh right 

this episode was pretty good, very emotional, i definitely didnt cry what are you talking about (who am i kidding, eveyrone knows i cried three times, you dont even need me to tell you) 

im excited for episode 5 

that is all, thank you and goodnight 

[evamoere]

A confession - after years

hey ovra, how you doing lately? havent heard from you for long and im sure im missing out a lottt

i think weve talked about our past a lot right bhahah and everytime we done that i felt extremely warmth so today tonight let me enjoy that for a moment, i wanted to get back to the past for just a bit more :)

we meet on a random quite night at engrp that time, i clearly remember i was just get into this world and trying to fit in badly i started sending bio a couple times and somehow somewhat i cant recall the memories about who reach one of us frist but im sure the thing that we talked about was music all the time. things were going smoothly we getting close we glued to each other so bad we goin thru downhill for years but here we are, we make it. even though it isnt that easy even though at the end we were nothing, just kind of accept each other the way we are.

but today perhaps id break your heart in the most painful way. all these time i wonder will i ever find a language to speak of the things that haunt me the most..now i have, i have found it. you remember when we decided to exchange each others real life identity? at that time i was really really excited and scared. im happy that id finally got to know you more and yeah im scared worried and anxious. idek what should i say to you about me, i clearly know that lying was not a good solution to make you stay but what can i do? im to scared to lose you im afraid id lose everything just because im trying to be my self. so then i decided to told you that yes i am the man that u wanted all along.

not a single word can explain my heart without yours. i go to bed and fall asleep wishing you were here all the time. yet i know u can only appear in my dreams. we’re happy in them. we can dance in the kitchen as much as we can we can read book together in the floor we can watch the show together we can stare to eachother’s eyes as much as we wanted too. my heart physically aches without your soul and my mind is full of the words i never got to say. the words i wish i can kiss onto your lips and engrave into your skin. i love you more than my body can take, for everytime i hear your name my heart breaks all over again. i think of you hundred and hundred times in a day. I suffer in my loving i hope you understand.

"My greatest pain is that you never got to know me and never wanted to know me."

what is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil. i feel miserable ever since it takes me a while to gave you my ‘own’ picture, name and things cause i think about it more and more and yeah i told you that i was the boy from jogja who happened to live with her grand mother. i mean its all true the lies is that i was a boy and i ride a big big motorcycle daily. honestly i only use it a couple times cause it was my bff’s thing. remember the boy who i send it picture to you? it also was my bestfriend. the same damned person. cause you know i had no idea of who other person i should be.

pretending to be a guy was never easy for me, i feel like i was hurting my own pride and it breaks my heart in many ways cause man i swore i to you i wanted to be free free to tell you how my days really went thru how my friendships was really like i want you to know all of me but theres a wall that i made it self wich prevent me to be myself. i loved you like no other so i dont know where i went wrong my heart still yearns for you, the place that i belong.

for a long time i wanted you to know about me, and today the day has come.. i dont know how to feel about it. but the only thing i surely feel is relived. to be free is often to be lonely, this haunted me all the time.

i may not be that expressive, but i want to thank u for being my comfort person. you've been there for me when no one else was. you became more than everything that I've ever asked for, there is no one better than you because you bring the best in me, you became my home, my rest, my solace. you've helped me get through some tough times without u knowing it. you've been there listening to my rants and struggles without you invalidating my feelings. I really value and appreciate you more than u'll ever know. and if at some point, I'm gonna lose you, i will still be grateful.

because once upon a time, i had u by my side. and that's all that matters.

letting you ‘go’ was probably the hardest decision i ever made knowing well how much I still love you and how much i want "us" to work.

i know that i am ruined and that im ruining others.…. i am i am a bad person. please hate me i would like that more than being left in silent.