#dont have my book rn

[cassandra41924]

the wonderful parallel between "i'm already a ghost. i died in the hold of a slaver ship" and "we died, both of us in our own way, but only one of us was reborn"

[s0fter-sin]

pt.2 of my horror au! you can find pt.1 here!

cw mild horror, descriptions of a dead animal (not riley)

to say johnny’s gotten used to the man living in his walls would be the biggest lie he’s ever tried to spin. he doesn’t have a choice but to get used to him

he won’t let johnny leave

he’s always watching him, even if he can’t see him; the walls and ceiling groaning with his weight as he follows him throughout the house during the day, only ever peeking through the vents when the sun’s gone down. if he even gets close to the front door, the vents shake like he’s sprinting towards him and the sheer panic is enough to make him stumble back; his heart pounding in his chest

he was paralysed the first night he saw the man, clutching riley to his chest in the middle of the bed, just waiting for him to come back and do god knows what to them- but the walls were silent

if it weren’t for the lingering damp on his hand and the slight scrape on the side of the vent, johnny could almost convince himself the whole thing was just some twisted waking nightmare

it was only when the sun crept over the horizon that he dared to step off the bed, riley tight in his arms, and held his breath as he escaped out the front door-

only to feel smug eyes on the back of his head when he saw his car tires slashed and random pieces of the motor ripped out and strewn across the yard

the message was clear

johnny can’t leave

the man won’t let him

the next few days passed in a haze of dread. johnny kept waiting for the man to come back, never eating or sleeping except for the snatches his body forced him to take. he can fight but from the glimpse he caught of the man and the weight of the sounds in the walls, the man was big. even if he did knock him out, where could he go? it would take hours of running before he reached another house

he never let riley out of his sight, feeding him in his room after he tipped the wardrobe over in front of the vent. it was only then he realised his phone was missing too

he was utterly trapped; a rabbit with his leg broken, waiting for the jaws to close around him

but the man didn’t come back

johnny’s panic turned into rage. then after another week of nothing turned into confused acceptance and determination

if he can’t leave, he’s not going die in a house with moldy baseboards

“i’m going out the back!” johnny announces loudly in the dining room - the room with the most vents - and almost flinches when he hears the slight reverberations through them. “i’ll come back in when i’m done but i’m not gonna let you stop me from workin’!”

nothing answers him. not a creak or a groan or a scratch. just complete silence

he wishes it didn’t make him feel so much worse

johnny takes a deep breath and wills his hand not to shake as he reaches for the doorknob, wincing at its obnoxious creak, and waits

and waits

nothing

johnny blows out a long breath. “alright, then,” he whispers and looks down at riley waiting obediently at his side. “let’s get to work.”

so he keeps fixing it

he builds new frames for the windows and purposely doesn’t acknowledge the heavy gaze on his back every second he’s outside. he replaces the outlets and pulls out the phone line that looks like it’d been chewed through with teeth far too big to be a rat

definitely too big to belong to the skinned rat he finds in the dumbwaiter after following the smell of gored meat, bled dry and spread out like a gift

a gift offered after a day spent repairing the roof, riley sitting diligently at the base of the ladder. a day he didn’t step a single foot inside

a day he didn’t eat at all

johnny looks at the rat, really looks at it. the skin had been cleanly removed, the meat left undamaged; the guts removed from the abdominal cavity. it’s been perfectly cleaned and dressed like it came from a butcher

from a hunter, prepped and ready for eating

it sends a shiver through him. he swallows and gently shuts the dumbwaiter cover, sending the rat back down to the basement then knocks politely on the wall for good measure. he then takes a bunch of fillings from the fridge, some bread and a cutting board, turns off the light and sits in front of the nearest vent

and waits

his breath is so loud, his instincts screaming at him not to have him back to the room. but he knows the only threat in this house will come from directly in front of him

johnny flinches at a distant thud and an immediate scratching starts, starting in the basement and barreling straight towards him

he’s angry

he swears he can hear his heart racing in his chest as the vent in front of him thunks, something heavy and fast weighting it down- then everything abruptly falls silent

he can’t see him

but he knows he’s there

he’s always there

johnny swallows again and lays out the two pieces of bread on the board, the moonlight coming through the window the only illumination he has. the vent remains silent as he layers on deli ham and a few slices of cheese, finishing off with a couple pickles and mayo

he closes the sandwich up and, eyes flicking to the shadows in the vent, picks it up and takes a bite

he chews slowly and lets out a deliberate hum before he takes another bite, dragging it out like it’s the best damn sandwich he’s ever eaten

johnny swallows his last mouthful, sucks a drop of may off his thumb and braces himself. he stands up and turns his back on the vent. he putters around, puts the food away and fills a glass of water and at some point while he’s washing off the cutting board, the vent lightly groans as the man slowly climbs away

he shivers and wonders how crazy it makes him that the rattle almost sounds thoughtful

💀🧼

there’s a sandwich on the floor

johnny’s still trying to catch his breath after hauling all the old moldy baseboards outside, frozen in the action of wiping sweat off his forehead

the bread’s torn, ham and cheese and pickles clumsily and excessively thrown on with sauce dripping out the sides

but it’s a sandwich, sitting on top of his cutting board

johnny tugs off his gloves and slowly walks up to it. the walls are silent. but that doesn’t mean the man isn’t watching

he picks up the cutting board and a voice in the back of his head screams at him as he brings it in front of the kitchen vent and sits just like he did the other day when he made his own sandwich. he hides a preemptive grimace and picks it up-

but it’s not soggy

despite the amount of sauce piled on it and the juice from the near fistful of pickles, the bread is still soft

fresh

you waited for me, johnny realises and something in his chest catches. you waited until i was done and made sure it would be ready for me.

johnny blinks a few times and bites into the sandwich

he can’t remember the last time someone had a meal waiting for him

his ex certainly never did; he always had to be poked and prodded into cooking, never wanted to eat anything they already had or waste time making something when they could just order in. even in other relationships, sure they would ask if he was hungry or make an extra portion when he wasn’t home so he’d have leftovers

but no one’s ever cooked something just for him. just because they wanted to

johnny thickly swallows the last bite

and doesn’t flinch when he looks into the vent and sees the shine of eyes looking back at him

“thank you,” he whispers

the eyes twitch back, almost like the man flinched, then they cock to the side and sink down into the very edges of the darkness, blending into the shadows like a ghost

but he doesn’t leave

and neither does johnny until riley pokes him with his nose, looking for his own dinner

[literatureaesthetic]

18th april '24 — london

this was such a special trip for me. my first time travelling entirely on my own, discovering and falling in love with a city. i've been to london a few times growing up, but i've never had the chance to really explore and live in it until now. forever an experience i'll cherish <3

[jazzzzzzhands]

When Clown talked about reading books to home, i knew i had to draw Wally reading my favorite childhood book to Home!!

Also Wally painted a little heart on Home like face painting! oh and take my line art because i love lineart!

[deoidesign]

"I'm the dog they put with cheetahs to keep them from going crazy in captivity" x "I'm the cheetah that is threatening to go crazy" 4 ever

(I make a webcomic about them)

[littlest-bugz]

Man :( My uncle kinda bummed me out about my fantasy series.

He's like "well you need humans or elves or something that readers can already relate to" and I'm like

the 10+ species I made was for nothing? The species I made to replace the human population is just,,, irrelevant? Like damn :( I really broke my back making this fantasy realm for 8 years, and I have to change it entirely now because humans need to be there for 'relatability'?

My wee little heart is shattered,, Would literally anyone read a fantasy series that doesn't have humans or elves?

[pali-and-proud]

ignore this but i need to stare at these thoughts until they make sense

Requiem is the story of Buddy displaying his trust for Chase and Requiem is the story of Chase saving Buddy. Still Waters is the story of Buddy wanting Chase's trust and Still Waters is the story of Chase trying to apologize to Buddy.

It's cyclical, almost, in that Buddy displaying trust led him to be more frustrated that Chase won't trust him (for completely valid reasons) and in that Chase keeps trying to save people and keeps slipping up (saving his mom, protecting Buddy, saving Prunella, saving Deacon, even down to him trying to save the woodland animals)

And Buddy sees Chase's constant desire to save and do right and be right and he trusts that, and Chase encourages the trust and wants it to flourish because he wants to help Buddy and he wants Buddy to let him help, but Chase can't reciprocate the trust because he also wants to save and protect Silver, Bronze, Goldie, and he wants to save and protect Deacon and Prunella, and he needs to save and protect his mom, and he wants to help Buddy.

Chase's so desperate to save and protect that he keeps neglecting the little details, which consistently causes significant problems, and then he finds himself desperate to fix it. To apologize. And in the cross-hatch, Buddy realizes the one-sided trust-fall, because Chase prioritizes keeping others--including Buddy--safe over risking a betrayal, which frustrates Buddy because the blossoms of friendship aren't being built on even ground.

and it's a pattern that's only broken with Chase admitting, finally, that he does trust Buddy, that the friendship and trust and grossly emotional feels go both ways. and it's a pattern only broken by Buddy desperately trying to save and protect Chase, by shielding from water and helping run and realizing the situation and clutching his hand, arm, shirt, whatever

it's incredible writing and i dont know if any of this makes sense to the general public but Punko, if you ever see this, ur incredible and i applaud every single literary decision you've elected bc this is one of my favorite stories to ever exist

[randomshenaniganery]

My Latest Attempt with Howl Pendragon

[perenial]

What are good books about explorers, if I may ask? I'd love to get into some harrowing survival (or just trying to survive) stories.

HI ok these are all heroic age antarctica-centric bc that's all i've had rattling around in my brain for a solid year and a half now so if anyone has non-polar recs pls feel free to throw em in the replies lmao

if we're talking harrowing survival there's nothing more fucked than shackleton's trans-imperial expedition aka endurance and the ross sea party. the classic here is endurance by alfred lansing (and ofc south by ol ernie shackles but i feel like his own account is less approachable to a first time reader) but i also highly recommend the lost men by kelly tyler-lewis for the ross sea party half of the story that often falls to the wayside.

and we can't talk abt shackleton without getting into scott & the terra nova & the race for the pole which WILL take over ur life if u get into it lol. the worst journey in the world by apsley cherry-garrard is required reading (and so is cherry by sara wheeler, possibly my fave biography of all time), and for a more general overview a first-rate tragedy by diana preston is the absolute gold standard. for amundsen ask @roaldamundsen there's the last viking by stephen r. brown which i haven't read yet but i've heard v good things about (nb: u may be recommended roland huntford's books when it comes to amundsen. read them if u want but he's got a Thing against scott which in turn distorts how he approaches amundsen but then again every polar biographer wants to make tender romantic love to their special little guy so)

OH and we can't forget the northern party aka six guys in a hole (NOT sexy) (well–). there are banger first-hand accounts (especially raymond priestley's) but weirdly enough my fave when it comes to this part of the terra nova story is a polar affair by lloyd spencer-davis, which is technically abt the sex lives of adélie penguins. it was the first book i read connected to terra nova and although it leans more popular history than rigorous biography or historical analysis it rly primes u to understand the fricative relationship between the expedition's two intertwined objectives – scientific advancement and imperialist glory – that were the root of most of their issues.

outside of endurance & terra nova i'd be remiss not to rec The gateway book to antarctic history, the madhouse at the end of the earth by julian sancton. i should have put this first bc this is genuinely one of my fave books of all time, polar-related or otherwise. it's a comedy it's a tragedy it's an adventure it's an insight into colonial ambition (although imo this aspect could have been pushed further) it's a romance for two specific guys it could easily be a musical it might be adapted into a tv show or movie in the near future?? it's an absolute trip i rec it to anyone who stands still enough to let me shove a copy in their hands. read madhouse NOW

finally i want to give a shout out to the australasian antarctic expedition which in comparison is less insane than everything else here but it's entirely possible the guy who was once on the australian $100 note ate his dog handler. so like. read alone on the ice by david roberts

(ps. for more boat books see @jesslovesboats's banger posts ✌️⛵️)

[why-the-heck-not]

05.12.23, tuesday

not fully sure whether I like this or not. Originally was just gonna do some semi-abstract chandeliers but being the way I am, I had to add some face things bc paintings without some creepy factor are boring to me

[vanweezer]

coreys in my sketchbook 4/∞

these pages are not my favorites for many many reasons but they are funny to look at. i love drawing the 25th anniversary mask so i think that's what saved it for me 🤞

sticky notes to cover drawing mistakes my good friend sticky notes to cover drawing mistakes. i might have accidentally made him brat in the process but ☝️ it shows up yellow on the scanner. so ha.

also if you saw me try to post this the first time nuh uh nuh uh nuh uh

[spineless-lobster]

HEY SO DO YOU GUYS WANNA KNOW WHERE ALL OF THIS *gestures broadly to my blog* STARTED?????

This motherfucker right here gave me two things

1. An everlasting obsession with greek mythology

2. Autism

Picking up this book in my school library in like the fourth grade or whatever is literally my canon event I would not be the person I am today without it

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Megastar 🤝 BillFord 🤝 Japis

My holy Trinity of childhood toxic ships

[writterings]

the thing they don't tell you about most mlm romance books is that they fucking suck ass

[astrobei]

on june 11th 1993, mike wheeler drags his vaguely amused (and highly endeared) boyfriend will byers to the movie theater, shells out for the largest size popcorn they have available, and gets 2 premium, middle-row seats to watch steven spielberg’s jurassic park

(he’s been vibrating with anticipation ever since the first trailer came out. he makes will go see it with him another five times before it leaves theaters.)

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

aroallo rep in my trans horror book ? more likely than you think <33