#dont hang me yet
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feasting in Sparta
#something about ody and menelaus hanging out scratches my brain the right way#featuring the extended family as a bonus#i think. that telemachus wasn't born yet at this point in time BUT HEAR ME OUT!!! i dont care#tagamemnon#greek mythology#ok here we go#odysseus#menelaus#hermione of sparta#telemachus#helen of sparta#penelope of ithaca#clytemnestra#iphigenia#agamemnon#artists on tumblr#my art#digital art
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cheneige moment aka me trying to learn how 2 draw rsa students
#u can probs read better @ full screen image lol sowwy i cram a bunch of tiny things onto one canvas#twst#twisted wonderland#cheneige#neige leblanche#chenya#cereal tries to draw#marinating them in my mind i think theyd be a fun combo#also guest star vil and cater hanging out 😌#i also want to see more cater and chenya interactions but this aint about them [yet] [ill give chenya a caytober day later] [maybe neige to#maybe they can share a day lol we'll see#anyway didnt chenya and neige have like one(1) interaction in an event?? i feel like they did. or am imagining things.#am i mixing it up w/fanart??? i feel like theres one instance where neige and chenya were in a situation#and chenya was being a silly goober and neige was like chenya!! dont tease them!!!#but idr wtf was going on lol. i feel like it wouldve been glomas bc idr if theyre in any other events 2gether#ik chenyas at portfest but idr neige being there#well whether that was a real thing or not i do see it in my mind palace. they have that vibe TO ME!!!#chenya being a lil scamp and neige being like u are so fun but also u must be nice blease;#i love the comparisons of like. chenya to riddle + chenya to neige + cater to riddle#it's all connected... in my mind map.... similarities....#also trey is there. trey to chenya and cater as well LOL#anyway i love when rsa characters are on screen being like tralala teehee i love having a good time#and then a nrc character is clenching their fist like I WANT HIM DEAD#theyre so funny. why are they so dramatic. actually nvm hs rivalries are just like that#except usually both schools want blood so maybe rsa is the weirdo school here#the rain suddenly got really heavy while i was typing all this but then it chilled again#u know how it is w/a pre-hurricane#anyway i love that cater kinda knows chenya by extension of riddle and trey like he recognized him w/familiarity in the tea party or w/e#so i think it would be so funny if he was like wtf beyonce is dating my besties' bestie#tumblr cut off the rest of my tag rambling ig. SORRY.
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more from today!!
#ts4 inna cents#inna cents#Caleb vatore#ts4 screenshots#ya i dont really have the time to do anything more interesting w my sims lately so heres more from the bin !!1!111!!!#and yes this is the marsh house from when marnie was there by milgemilge#i made inna's room peep the garlic hanging on the window!! also made some recolored paintings for her room too!#me posing my sims together just 2 see if they have chemistry like this is an audtion and im the director 🧍#idk what inna yet...this is her human look and this hairstyle has grown on me
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Look, I just think it's VERY funny and on brand that I thought of an entire premise of colorful characters for half the cast and immediately drew the only one void of color.
#my characters#i will not bore you all too much in the main post but now its story time in the tags so yeefuckinghaw#noll is a fae and is distinctly the only one that just lacks colors#at first he was like well surely i can wear colorful stuff to make up for my dark hair and eyes !#and then he overhears some of the fae talking about how hes a blemish to the fae and hes like well fuck#guess its time to go all in baby! and decks himself out in all black and jagged clothing#and he tries to play it off as hes an idiot and a lot of the fae actually believe its not ALL an act#like they can tell he thinks about stuff but he normally does it staring into space so they dont care to ask#cause surely it isnt important enough to brood about hes just thinking about stuff#and he really REALLY has a lot of confidence issues and worries that more fae are disturbed by his darkness than let on#but then the other fae that like to hang out with him are like#YOOOOOO THATS OUR LIL VOID! THATS OUR LIL GUY! our lil black spot look at him hes so edgy and cute!#and treat him like a pet cat at times giving him head pats even if he bats their hands away#and the plot premise is that some of the fae are bored and decide they should go play with some humans! give THEM enrichment too!#and noll gets roped into it and The Game is basically go find a human partner and convince them to be an ally#then the fae give the humans cool lil toys (weapons) and are like GO FORTH MY CHAMPION!#so noll keeps like ... not picking anyone to participate because its not just A Game to him#if he can prove victorious in A Game with outside factors such as humans then he can prove hes not#an absolute disappointment to the fae like he has a lot riding on this in his mind#and his friends are just like buddy you cant even play if you dont pick a human you gotta#anyway here is noll and then i have ideas for two other fae and also a veeeery vague idea for two of the humans though not as sure yet#rae if you read all this you should know the cobalt is a fae thanks bye#i am so stressed posting ocs every single time and i am incredibly depressed and anxious#so good lord please let me not just delete all the tags in an hour bc im ashamed
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guy who only asks questions if they feel insightful enough to be worth asking and only hangs out if there is smth to do together <- deeply uncomfortable of the idea of wasting someones time
#yes i was constantly accused of not paying attention for asking questions i didnt know someone already asked why do you ask#maybe it does sound a little sad when i put it as 'i feel most comfortable when i feel like im not wasting the other persons time'#but its more like i want the other person to feel like im putting thought or at least care into it even if i dont express it very well#its weird feeling like im not giving back enough in the conversation but not knowing why or being confused by the idea#of someone who just likes to listen to me talk and not waiting for their turn to speak like i do like. arent you tired of it yet>?#how are you not thinking of ways to get out of this conversation yet??? it fascinates me bc ill never understand it#i like how we are now talking abt not letting yourself feel like a burden for asking for help and letting people help you#but i am on the other side of the spectrum where i want to feel needed when we hang out or else i wont know how to let u know me#yapping#diary#I hate feeling like this cuz it feels like im coming up with new and creative ways to defend myself instead of being myself
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if chibnall was the one writing this season you lot would be talking VERY differently
#anti rtd#oomfs ur so right#s14 is the kinda mid that people think his era was#and yet#you throw in that razzle dazzle written by rtd and all of a sudden there's no criticisms!#or worse somehow#is how its a polite and gentle reframing of chibs criticism#like with him it was hey he ate this singular one thing But I KNOW CHIBS IS BAD HE'S TERRIBLE DONT WORRY I KNOW IT#and with rtd its oh i disliked this nonsensical and objectively bad writing but ummm guys i lOVED LOVED everything else i swear#its soooooooooooooOOOOOOOOO#it must be studied#but i knew yous were a lost cause when we had 14/15 running around calling men hot bc yes totally something the doctor just does#not ooc at allllll#bc this is how we know the doctor is queer now guys#dont you know it#i have like a million other complaints i miss being like oh hey that was mid/bad and moved on with my life 😭😭#god i think 13 era killed me bc now i do care about u hypocritical losers#rip 15ruby i wish i cared and that you had any development#ncuti millie i would like to hang out with you though#15 maybe you'll cry less next season so that the emotional scenes have impact perhaps 🙏🏾🙏🏾#ramblings of an insomniac#god i just remembered the whole real mum antics#fuck i need to go i gotta go!!!!#ps the ncuti conundrum where he's the most charismatic dr in nuwho whilst also being the worst actor is driving me nuts#idk if its the characterisation or his lack of ability in creating that inner psychology that connective tissue between his louder acting#which he's great at btw!#idk maybe that one monologue in boom made me go yes okay here we goooo#but then every other moment has been like hmmmnnnmtgodhd okay whateve#i think he needed more acting prep before he got this role bc he's got Something he could be Great but the subtle stuff is lacking#sooo hoping he can grow into that but it's giving perfect actor wrong time.... and if ur white ur not allowed to agree with me shush go away
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sometimes i get nishiki i really do
#snap chats#like from an outsider perspective it is utterly hilarious watching everything go wrong for him#BUT GIRL NOT ME STOP HAVING THIGNS GO WRONG FOR MEEEEEE WHAT IS ALL THIS#this month its actually one thing after another if i start wearing white everyone needs to be concerned#you guys remember my bullshit roommates yeah well TLDR im getting fined for their messes im going to SCREAM#I HATE IT HEERRRREEE I KNOW IM EVIL BUT CMON#literally had such a silly night last night and now everything sucks again is this life is this what life is#its not its not what life is im just hearing my mom bitching in the other room and im letting her vibes ruin mine#everything going to be ok this is just a hiccup .... a small pinprick in the tapestry of life ....#i am incredibly annoyed though cause this is one of those situations where youve done nothing wrong but youre being shot for it#its just unfair but whatever we ball ..... im putting the hair gel away guys im not slicking my hair back just yet ....#i got a new friend last night so maybe ill just hang with them later and ill remember life is beautiful ..#heh ... jk ... i can remind myself life is beautiful right now ... im gonna go eat some tiramisu ...#jesus christ i really do love italian food what the fuck. pasta / calamari / tiramisu#i dont think calamari is italian but i got it from an italian place w/e we get the picture#its not my fault that italy has good food ... i would just never go there .....#ok bye ima go eat and drink water now. water will remind me how beautiful life is ...
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no one's done this one yet?
#someone should i think theyd be really fun together#13 in potd realising what they had during the vault years Was friendship actually she just couldnt see it bc of the fear to trust#and 15 seeming to be more good time > rules#i can see him being like 'you know what. you havent betrayed me YET'#dhfkjhgjk scream oh my god imagine him accidentally rewritng the entire timeless child arc bc he just likes hanging out wiht missy#vault nostalgia. just chilling. they go out dancing. its a great time#and bc the master will become like 90% less evil if the doctor just pays them attention he actually just rehabilitates missy#without all the drama and testing and neuroticness of the vault#she just fucking chills out. never becomes dhawan!master. they never find out about the timeless child#15 just wakes up one day in bed with her after a night out and is like........................feel like theres smth im missing#'wasnt i a woman before. why do i not remember like 80% of that regeneration'#and missys like 'happens to me All The Time dont worry abt it kitten'#and hes like okay <3 yay :)
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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.
and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠
I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.
I’m just. I give up.
this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭
#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive#half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 …….. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax ……..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it 🫠#nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass#NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone#but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her#all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed#just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one#like ……… I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no#leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate#of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it#like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for#oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow#and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks#towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else#I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey#and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down 🫠🫠🫠#because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense#I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too#I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted#to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest#and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long#fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest#for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days
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sorry to log on n rant but i need to rant
#tbd.#ooc.#cw complaining#ignore the tags if u dont want to see how my life is going shdfhsf#so im doing my masters yeah#and im like. 75% thru#shouldve been done last month#but bc of the year ive had my uni adviser was rlly nice and sorted a way to extend my student status for another year#to get my dissertation done#like i did my 4 essays n now its just dissertation time#n i was supposed to start it now n get booked in with my mentor n stuff but i cant fucking log into the website#bc u need a MFA#and the MFA app my uni uses wont acknowledge me bc i have a different phone bc my phone broke#and a different number bc my phone contract got cut off#so idk what to do lol i cant log in and do anything#ive rang the IT desk for help 59w9er3424234 times#and everytime i get thru to the actual line n im taken off hold .. they hang up on me#idk if its a system error or my phone bc its a shit old one#but i cant do anything#and my universal credit claim got closed#non uk oomfs its a benefits system#n they help u with money to pay bills whether ur looking for work or unfit to work which is what my doctor said i am bc#my mental health and physical health combines to make me a super loser#n he thinks i might try to K word myself if i take too much on at once after eveerything#like i cant even sit and grieve my dad that died not even 6 months ago yet because i have to much shit to fucking do#like i cant afford to liven now#i cant pay my bills. they keep bouncing and coming back worse#i have debt collectors coming @ me#i am stuck in catch 22 man like not even my support workers can help me rn#and im very lucky that i own my own home bc of my car accident when i was 15 lol but everyone is just telling me to sell it
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ive been sitting on the cod home screen waiting for these goddamn gamepass points to pop and my dumbass forgot that i bought bo6 for the beta and am no longer playing on gamepass 🪦 i haven been sitting here for 2hrs trying to get this shit to work and it turns out im just an idiot
#i mean we already knew i was an idiot#but now infinite isn’t working#i just wanna grapple around and murder some aliens#i was supposed to play cold war but of course#bromigo messages me 20x in a row and then when i apologise for falling asleep#he leaves me on read#like bruh you literally live on the other side of the country#like you can’t be like let’s play and then not give me a time when i ask#and then spam me at 1am my time and get angry when i fall asleep#like bruh#we’re hopefully playing tomorrow but we’ll see 🙄#im not hopeful honestly#i dont know i might go grab an açai bowl for breakfast and then just watch movies or something#i still haven’t had my marathon yet#20$ says that’ll get bromigo to wanna hang out
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hey mod! do you ever experiment with other art types? like painting, sculpting, or digital art like sfm? or ever wish to? :)
drawing of any kind is my favorite above all else, but i do sometimes like painting on occasion if i have the patience for it, my favorites being gouache and watercolor! i cant say i have much interest in scultping but to be fair i havent tried it all that often either... and i do plenty of digital art like im sure you have seen aheh. but using something like sfm is.. hm. annoying. only for occasions. if im doing something traditional though i do have fun with mixed media! things like combining watercolor with colored pencil and other arts and crafts sort of activities...!
#and i will leave this in the tags but#dont make me tap the sign Yet Again...#points to a large sign written in bright red hanging on the wall#it reads 'there is no mod or ooc here. i am not playing a character. you are speaking to medic tf2 now behave yourselves.'#i get tired of reminding people#but i digress#thank you for the question#also leaving this in the tags but i have painted with blood before as well#its quite fun but the bright color fades somewhat quickly#thats just how dried blood works though#hmm im always open to experiment with new art mediums#its very fun to try new things in that regard!#the doc is in
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silver 😑 with his one(1) facial expression + the two most expressive people on this earth that he hangs out with every day
and kalisil :3
#twst#kalim al asim#silver twst#sebek zigvolt#kalisil#twisted wonderland#cereal tries to draw#hehehhehehe#i was writing my fic earlier and then i went to watch silvers dorm vignette for ref#and then i just had son boys on the brain#i love silvers bonds with the other diasomnia characters AND ALSO KALIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!#HIS GOOD BUDDY KALIM WHO IS SO DIFFERENT FROM HIM AND YET. HEART OF GOLD SOLIDARITY#i love them so much. kalim and silver are always so sweet to each other#and sebeks a little freak always i love him every time hes on screen kfdbhkjfdsjfkdlsjf#he was so sweet to silver tho in that story waaaahh WAHHHHH#boys who grow up together and know each other so well ;;;A;;;#also that bottom kalisil fanart is loosely also based on me remembering like. this one pixiv fanart comic from years ago#that i dont fully remember bc i didnt have my phone translator app at the time and i dont speak japanese but#i think it was about kalim losing his phone in the well and trying to get it back bc it had photos of friends on it ?#silver is there and jamil + azul are like. hanging out or something idr theyre there too lol#and theres just a part of it where kalim excitedly jumps on silver i think when he gets his phone back or something#it's just super cute the way he clings onto him and silvers just like yep ok im holding u now. lololol i was always so starved for fanart#pre engtwst so i'd remember older things really well cuz i'd revisit them a lot. i need to go find it again 🚶
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dude can you please do a face reveal i need to see what you look like. or draw yourself. im so curious im sorry ok bye have a good day
yes i do look like the most sterotypical asian man imaginable. yes i am a biology major. yes i use reddit. yes im an incel. yes my favorite subjects are math and biology. yes i wore polo shirts through all of middle school. yes i am blind without my glasses. yes the lenses are so fucking thick they stick out of the frames. yes i have racist huge front buck-teeth. yes i am abnormally short. yes im a shitty driver. dont ask me about my penis.
#i put two vers bc i have a half failed stache going on#but like people either notice it immediately or dont at all until someone says something then they cant unsee it#im a late bloomer and its been getting thicker recently but not enough to shave yk?#also started developing a hint of a master shifu thang under my lip but a tiny hint nothin special yet#i have eternal asian youth btw okay know that as a highschool senior in my mixed classes some thought i was a middle schooler#bc my highschool was mixed with middleschoolers#when i go to restaurants outside the asian community i get handed the kids menu sometimes#wieners friends saw a photo of me hanging with him 2 months ago and asked why he was hanging with an 11 year old#everytime i tell people my age theyre surprised its hell on fucking earf#dont even get me started on what happened in barnes n noble when i was buying my chinese yaoi (shoutout to those who remember when dat)#ask#also i am 4'11 and that is normal for my family my mom n dad are like 5'1 n 5'2
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how do you people study through extreme exhaustion? bc thats what always gets me during the exams & i cannot keep doing this forever
#the first time i had exams i kept going through pure desperation#bc i cared a lot more back then#but now i just dont see studying as important enough for that to work#redoing a year wont be fun but i know people the year below me & it wouldnt be bad either#anyways to pass this next exam i probably wont get any sleep#or maybe 2 hours#which i know is bad but since its only 2 exams this time im less worried about sleep & more about just getting through#so i need to know how to keep myself going#i have no available caffeine :( otherwise thatd be my first idea#but idk ive tried so many things#turning on the big light#movement breaks#short naps#sleeping a few hours & just getting up really early#music - which does help a lot but its not enough#mine#please no one ever taught me any of this i just keep guessing & hoping i get it right#like at school they do 'teach you to study' but really its just a few tips#mostly to take care of yourself & not pull all nighters#like okay. but what if i have to otherwise i will not pass? how do i manage that?#i never had to study before high school#& that combined with my horrible mental state at the time meant my grades went from really good to horrible#and yet somehow passing#but idk i dont want to be hanging on by a thread and just one mistake away from failing anymore#thats not fun#i think it was kinda good for me since i made peace with maybe failing & dont really care about that anymore? like if i fail thats okay too#but yeah anyway#im rambling so i dont have to start studying
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the worst thing tbsoas film did was changing absolutely everything and i mean everything about sejanus.
that kid was supposed to be QUIET! eaten alive by guilt! but not eloquent enough to try and get people on his side for it! he was an absolute loner but not in the "i hate you all and im cool and sassy and show people up in a way the audience 1:1 agrees with (basically just spelling out the moral counter argument against the games)"-way, in the "i know i don't belong here and i have imposter syndrome because none of the capitol folks accept me and my family and they let us know directly and in no uncertain terms all day every day and i also don't want to be here i wish we'd never left 2".
and the REAL tragedy of sejanus plinth is this: that his moral compass puts him off everyone at the capitol bc they're all snakes and he knows it - BUT he thinks that the one person who's the biggest snake of them all is good. he's naive and dumb and stupid and trusting, and snow feeds on his affection and attention the way you'd pet a kicked puppy on the head and feel good about yourself.
and the snow kicks the puppy to death and is all pikachu meme abt it.
#i at least liked how they had sejanus scream for his ma at the hanging#that was well done#but they just missed out on SO MUCH not just related to sejanus' personality#(which i still miss dearly bc i think he was a very well crafted character for what he signifies in the story)#but also to class. class differences class consciousness and class entitlement is such a big theme in this story#and by cutting out so much of sejanus and his family's position in this society and how it affects how sejanus sees the world#mthey really didn't do the story a favor imo.#dont get me wrong i still liked the movie!#just thinking abt it yknow#tbsoas#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the hunger games#thg#bosas#ballad of songbirds and snakes#i said i wasn't going to start ballad posting yet here we are#tbosas
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