#don't think this one be spoiler as it's just more of my overall thoughts?
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pacing-er · 1 day ago
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The Krakoa Era Reading List Cherik Version (PART 3):
5. Hellfire Gala
This one confused me a bit since I expected it to be considered its own separate collection of stories. It was actually entirely contained within Reign of X. Not to be confused with the 2022 and 2023 runs which are separate and may be ignored for now. See the Part 2 of my Krakoa reading list for my thoughts.
6. Trials of X
The start of this series was my absolute favorite. You got the Trial of Magneto which was just a great story with lots of twists and fun characterization moments for Erik. It takes off immediately after the dramatic ending of the Hellfire Gala/Reign of X storyline, and you have the option to read only the parts with Magneto via the Trial of Magneto TPB. If you read this as part of the entire Trials of X collection there will be other side plots and issues dispersed throughout, which Charles and Erik will largely not be included in. Trial of Magneto is contained in Volumes 1-2 and Volume 3 is entirely skippable.
After this we get the continuation of the Nightcrawler/Legion vs Onslaught storyline, which was super trippy and a fantastic read. There are several mentions of Onslaught and Legion being half-brothers and Onslaught refers to his creators as "fathers" lol any mention of Onslaught being Magneto and Charles's lovechild just made me super happy. Legion's characterization in the Krakoa era is super endearing and there are several scenes where we get to see his unhealthy dynamic with Charles (mostly on Charles part lmao he is a terrible father, poor David was just tryna help 😭).
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A moment of appreciation for these covers, I'm obsessed with them.
As for Cherik levels, the fact that their kid(s) are a large part of this story makes it worth reading, but we don't actually see Onslaught referred to as a son by either of them. He is more of a "thing" and a problem, which is fair bc he is literally the manifestation of both of their evils. There is a scene where the possessed!Erik is viciously protecting the possessed!Charles, which I really liked even though it was brief. Then the anti-Onslaught team (including Magneto) is chasing down a possessed!Charles cornering him in a clever trap designed by Legion. Once released from Onslaughts control we get this super cute panel:
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Look at him holding Charles hand 🥰🥰🥰 They then immediately get vaporized and we hardly see them again for 5 whole volumes. Spoilers aside I really loved the solution to the Onslaught problem and thought the end of this arc was very satisfying! All of this was neatly contained in Volumes 4-5 of the Trials of X TPB, but there may be a collected version of just Nightcrawler and Legion's storyline that I'm unaware of. I hope so bc I really loved it and there's just WAY too many side plots that I don't care about even a little bit in the main collection. The Onslaught saga is distributed throughout Reign of X and Trials of X and it'd be great to see the complete story without interruptions.
As I mentioned, we then don't see Charles and Erik again until Volume 10. I had expected a resurrection scene bc they did both die but I guess that's implied to happen off screen? Anyways Volumes 6-9 I think there are literally only two panels that have either of them in it so safe to say you can skip those if you are only reading for Cherik.
Their inclusion in Volumes 10-12 are sparse with them mostly having their moments in Silent Council meetings and impersonations of Charles in the Hole™. They finally reveal what goes on in the Hole™ which was super interesting and worth reading imo. Also it's great to see them get along in these volumes, they finish each other's sentences and even when they disagree they are mostly civil XD
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Overall some great stuff despite the long lull in the middle 👍 See the rest of my Krakoa reviews under #krakoa era reading list
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mechaseraph · 3 months ago
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I will not lie, I agree they need to develop/showcase Taiya's thing more but man. If I don't related to *some* parts of him deeply. Being/feeling lonely as child, not knowing how properly communicate sometimes and rightfully upsetting people, not by malice but just...it be like that, we *need to* try and improve, but it be like that, brain be working for us like that...overall wanting to see people happy simply, because. Because people should and deserve to be happy for no reason but their existence.
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kayjaywrites · 7 months ago
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Like Bugs in a Rug: Chapter One
Summary: Azriel Shadowsinger, mysterious pretty boy extraordinaire himself, was head over heels in love with you for years. Everyone in the room could see it, except for you of course. A series of connected one-shots.
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Chapter Word Count: 6,350 Chapter Music Inspo: End of It - Friday Pilots Club
Chapter Content Warnings: fluff, some cursing, one bed trope, awkward but wholesome communication, AFAB Reader, Reader (You), some details about Reader's appearance but overall vague, canon plot spoilers as this is canon compliant-ish, reader low key being thirsty for Azzie
Note: Hello! Welcome to my first fic in like 10 years! This idea came about when I was having a hard time falling back asleep. I sometimes draft fanfiction when i'm trying to sleep. I don't often remember the plots come morning, but the memory of this one remained intact enough for me to jot down. I’m thinking this update is gonna be the longest chapter because it's both prologue and the first chapter, but I have terrible self control with word count limits. So I guess we’ll see what the next chapters bring, but they may be shorter!
Enjoy me 2am fugue state musings, there are likely typos~
XxXx
Prologue
It was all worth it. The decades of patience and silent suffering. The centuries of loneliness paying off just as you lost hope of ever leaving The Court of Nightmares. You and your father, Kier, expected a typical visit from the Inner Circle. The High Lord would threaten your father to keep him in line, you’d go unnoticed in the back of the throne room monitoring the interaction. Just like every other time they visited.
Except, the High Lord and his Inner Circle asked about you like you were the reason behind their visit. You had clocked the visit as odd as soon as only Rhysand, Feyre, and Mor arrived. The absence of both The General & Shadowsinger at the same time a rarity. Despite being related to Rhysand and Mor, you didn’t think they knew your name, so when they asked Kier about you, by name, your heart damn near fell out of your ass.
They wanted you to leave Hewn City to work with them. A Courtier of the Night Court, working alongside Nesta, Lady Death herself, of all people. They wanted you to start immediately now that the war with Hybern was over. Relations between Courts were strained, and upon learning of your talent, the High Lord deemed it a waste for you to be hidden away down here. He and the Inner Circle believed you did not belong in The Court of Nightmares. To anyone else, having the High Lord speak so highly of your child would have been an honor.
It was the most furious you’d ever seen Kier. Which was saying something. His emotions grew volatile in a blink of an eye, outraged by the absolute gall of the High Lord. How dare he come to his city and tell him that you weren’t meeting your full potential down here? At some point Kier stood up, snarling at Rhysand and the others like a wild animal. Kier, so lost in his anger, let his mental shields falter. Just for a second, but it was more than enough time for your powers to draw his wayward thoughts to you, like a magnet, his unspoken intentions seeped into your own mind. You were always terrible at blocking him out when he got like that.
Power. Kier's thoughts whispered to you. A spy for him in the Inner Circle.
It disgusted you how predictable your father was, his intentions were always about how he could best use you for his own gain. It was the driving force behind your excessive training habits, desperate to protect yourself from the toxicity of his intentions. The more you failed at keeping him out, the more you hated him, and by default hated yourself.
Rhysand was right, you were wasted down here, and it wasn’t that your father didn’t see that, he didn’t care. He wasn’t furious with the High Lord for taking another daughter away from him, he was mad about losing a tool.
Well, your father could rot down here alone for all you cared.
You felt a lot of things in that moment. Intimidated by the prospect of working with Nesta, unsure of Mor’s morals and the rumors surrounding her, apprehensive of Rhysand and Feyre’s power, and not to mention all the unknown dynamics between the rest of the Inner Circle. But, despite all that uncertainty, you did not feel nervous about leaving Hewn City with them.
The first task Kier ever appointed you was to report on Rhysand and his Inner Circle’s intentions every time they visited. Either they all had flawless control over their mental shields, or their icy behavior was an act from the beginning. You never dared to share your suspicions with Kier, your father only wanted ammo for his hate, and he never took kindly to evidence that didn’t support his biases against High Lord Rhysand.
It felt a little too much like blind faith and a hunch for you to be 100% comfortable with the decision, but you decided to put your trust in these strangers anyway.
You would take the job.
Not to be a spy for Kier.
Not out of some duty to your High Lord or older sister.
It was time to live your life for you. Consequences be damned.
But, the focus of this story was not about moving to Velaris with Mor and getting to know the Inner Circle. It wasn’t about how much you rock as a diplomat for the Night Court. It wasn’t about how good it felt the first time sunlight touched your skin upon leaving the underground city. It wasn’t even about how you and Nesta became best friends. However good those stories may be.
However, this story is about Azriel Shadowsinger, and how the mysterious pretty boy extraordinaire himself, fell head over heels for you without you ever picking up on it. Yeah, that’s right, the girl who struggled to control her talent for hearing unspoken intentions never puzzled the pieces together. For literal years everyone else in the godforsaken room could tell the Spymaster was in love with you, except for you.
...one year and a couple months later....
It all started with an argument with Rhysand a few assignments into your career as the Night Court Courtier. You felt like you could handle traveling between Courts without needing an escort, especially if you’d be meeting up with Nesta at the destination anyway. Rhysand did not agree, basically threatening to ground you if you didn’t allow someone to accompany you.
That was how Azriel had become your full-time travel partner. Rhysand appointed Azriel as an additional escort in case Nesta was pulled away.
You’d take this to your grave before ever admitting it, but Rhysand wasn’t wrong to be worried. There had been a good number of times where just that had happened. Nesta would be working the other side of the room, and having Azriel lingering nearby eased your nerves. Prythian was a vast Realm, and Rhys had been right in worrying about your adjustment.
It didn’t take too long for you to adapt once you had visited all the different Courts a few times. Yet, Azriel continued to go out of his way to accompany you to events. The first obvious sign of his affections for you came a little over a year into your career.
The event was in a small Day Court town on the border of the Night Court, just under a day’s travel from Velaris on foot. Home to one of the libraries hit hardest by Amarantha’s looting, the entire town was celebrating the return of a sizable chunk of the stolen volumes. The gala was advertised to be a quaint dinner and cocktail hour. You suspected that scholars and book enthusiasts would be the bulk of those present. Although interested in going, Rhysand had High Lord duties to attend to that involved Nesta and the other Archeron sisters in the Summer Court. With a promise to fill everyone in on anything of interest, you packed a small overnight bag and waited for Mor to arrive home. You never developed the ability to winnow, so you needed someone to bring you.
Fussing with your hair in one of the numerous mirrors decorating Mor’s walls, you couldn’t help but smile at your reflection. Your time in Velaris, just over two years, had already begun to sooth a deep sadness you hadn’t realized had settled under your skin. It was obvious in the gentle way you gazed at your reflection, the healthy flush of your cheeks, and the warmth of your thoughts. Velaris looked good on you, and as you smoothed a hand down the shimmery sapphire blue fabric of the dress that clung to your curves, you thought the new formalwear looked good on you too.
Giddiness bubbled up in you at the idea of modeling the new dress for Mor. The excitement felt foreign still, after spending centuries believing Mor didn’t care to know her own little sister. You never thought you’d ever get the chance to gush over dresses with her. Kier hated everything Mor represented, and was cruel to her in ways that made you feel lucky in a perverse way. Your father may have manipulated and alienated you, filling your head with lies about your older sister, but it was never public. Kier made sure everyone in the Court of Nightmares knew that Mor was a useless whore and a traitor.
When Mor became a core member of the Inner Circle, and Rhysand put her in charge of Hewn City, you would wait for her to acknowledge you during her visits. Decades turned into a century, but the same hope would always rise up when Mor was due for a visit, only to be crushed when she ignored you. She never paid you a second of her time, just a fleeting look in passing as if you were another spectator. Knowing that she wasn’t ignoring you out of ill intent stung more, because you couldn’t bring yourself to hate her.
Kier may be your father, but that didn’t mean you had to be a fan of his intentions. You never believe the rumors he spread about Mor.
And then, the big reveal came. It turned out that to Mor, you were just another spectator. Mor didn’t know she had a younger sister at all. Keir hid you so well that no one realized you were related to him. A detail that made you feel so small when it came to light. You were just the shy woman in the background, taught to be pleasant when spoken to, a pretty little wallflower the rest of the time.
Later, when you asked about who first realized your identity, you got mixed accounts from the Inner Circle. Rhysand insisted that it was he who put the pieces together first. Stating that it came to him suddenly after Azriel submitted a report from a surveillance mission detailing an overheard conversation between you and Kier about your talents. Rhysand claimed that your powers reminded him of a variation of Mor’s. The rest of the Inner Circle credited Feyre for noting the resemblance between you, Kier, and The Morrigan the first time she noticed you loitering at the back of a council meeting.
When the truth was confirmed, and you agreed to go with them, Mor wept. She vowed to never leave you alone in The Court of Nightmares ever again, even for a second. That promise was your first experience with making a deal in the Night Court. Your clear surprise at the intricate tattoo that branded itself over the center of your sternum clued Mor, Rhysand, and Feyre in on how out of touch you were with common lore from your own Court. Mor wasted no time in winnowing you out of there after that. The both of you had heard enough of Keir’s nasty sneers and low-blow comments to last a lifetime.
Now, Mor’s cozy little home was also your cozy little home, if not a bit tight for two people. If someone asked you a decade ago if you thought you’d ever have a relationship with Mor you would advise them to seek out a healer.
And yet there you were, vibrating with things to tell her, anticipating her arrival with an almost goofy grin when…Azriel of all people winnowed into the living room.
Perplexed, but not totally disappointed, “Oh!” you said, clearly taken aback. “I was expecting Mor.”
Azriel huffed a low chuckle, dimples bracketing his amused half-smile. “Sorry to disappoint.”
You looked him over, dark circles under his eyes, droopy eyelids, posture leaning forward in a slight slouch. “Az, didn’t you just return from a long mission? Why aren’t you resting?”
“Wanted to escort you to the Day Court Library Gala, of course.”
The tenderness in his voice had warmth bubbling up from your chest. “That is very kind,” you started, making sure to meet his gaze so he knew you meant it, “but you look so tired, Az. I’ve visited the Day Court a bunch of times now and only need someone to winnow me there. As much as I enjoy having you accompany me to these things, I don’t want you to stretch yourself thin on my account. I’ve got this.”
“I know you’ve got this,” came his immediate reply, “as you’ve pointed out I’ve been gone for a few weeks. What if I offered to escort you because I missed you, hm?”
Despite yourself you felt a flush of heat in your cheeks at his teasing. You refused to use your powers on anyone in the inner circle, unwilling to violate their privacy without explicit consent. But you didn’t need your powers to read Azriel’s sincerity. It made it hard to meet his gaze, you turned back to running your fingers through your hair in the mirror, taking a moment to compose yourself. “Well alright then, I don’t think I can do anything more to tame my hair, we should be off then.”
You felt Azriel at your back, a gloved hand coming up to gently grasp your elbow, guiding your arm down as his hand trailed down the bare skin of your forearm to hold yours, turning you to face him. “Stop fussing, you look stunning, this dress is new, right? I think the color suits you.”
You smiled. “Thank you, I suppose you would like this color, now that I’m thinking about it,” with your free hand you held up the skirt of the floor length dress to the siphon on his wrist, marveling at the color match, “it looks like I did it on purpose.”
He hummed in acknowledgement as he pulled you closer into an almost embrace. “We should go now. Wouldn’t want to miss the opening speeches.”
You suppressed a shudder. Definitely from the way his breath tickled your ear, and not from the way his voice sounded as he tucked you into his chest. “You hate opening speeches.” You pointed out, remembering all the times he complained about how boring they were.
“I do, but you like them.” You’d never said as much aloud, but you did enjoy listening to people talk about things they were passionate about, and opening speeches tended to be just that. Of course the Spymaster had noticed.
If Azriel saw your smile before you hid your face against his leather-clad pec he didn’t let on. You pulled your hands free and looped your arms around his middle, clasping your fingers together under the base of his wings.
“I’m ready then, thank you for coming with me.” Your voice was muffled, unwilling to tilt your head up to talk to him in case your maddening blush was there. It didn’t seem to matter how many times you winnowed with Az, your whole face would go cherry red. Something Cassian never failed to poke fun at whenever he witnessed it.
Azriel wrapped his arms tightly around you, your body now flush to his. You focused on the sound of his wings rustling as he tucked them in closer. Anything to distract from the way your pulse spiked when you felt his lips brush against the crown of your head, his hold on you gentle, yet firm and protective as darkness folded around the both of you.
XxXx
Neither you nor Azriel realized the issue with your room reservation until much too late. Upon arrival in The Day Court the both of you hurried to the event. The gala wrapped up around midnight, and like most of the other guests staying in town, you and Azriel retired back to the nearby Inn. With your strappy heels in hand and a pleasant buzz from the alcohol, you felt positively bubbly. Paused in front of your room, you let Azriel rummage through the small black purse at your side for the key. After almost leading them into the wrong room, Azriel took it upon himself to find the correct room and unlock the door.
Minutes later you were still trying to suppress a smile at how Azriel reacted with such mortification when he realized you’d led them to the wrong room. The mental image of the great Shadowsinger so frantic in his efforts to stop you from further jostling the doorknob, had you letting out a laugh before you could stop it.
“It’s not funny.” He grumbled as he swung the wooden door to your room open, leading you inside. You were on the verge of poking fun at him some more when you caught a glimpse of the interior layout. Right, you had RSVP’d expecting to attend the gala alone. The realization sobered you up real fast.
The room was small, burgundy curtains concealing a sizable window, antique desk with tourist flyers stacked in a neat pile on top. A queen sized, four post bed situated in the middle of the room.
“I’ll take the floor—” Azriel started saying.
But you interrupted him. “—you should have the bed.”
“Absolutely not, what kind of gentleman would I be if I let a lady sleep on the floor while I hogged the whole bed.” He nodded, as if the conversation was over, and you had to fight the urge to roll your eyes at him.
“There’s not even enough space on the floor for you to stretch out Az. The room is basically only bed. It’s fine, I can use my extra clothes—”
You inhaled sharply, tensing at the thought of your overnight bag, left forgotten back at Mor's apartment. Your eyes darted to Azriel, meeting his gaze out of the corner of your eye, and you knew you didn’t need to say anything about it as he scoffed under his breath.
“You forgot your bag.” He observed.
Sighing, you ran a hand through your hair, your tight dress feeling like it was constricting around your chest as you contemplated sleeping in it. “I did indeed forget my bag.”
“We could just go back, we don’t have to stay here for the night.” Azriel pointed out, but the thought of cutting the trip short caused a ripple of disappointment to drop in your stomach.
“Or,” he continued with a hint of amusement, “I have an undershirt beneath my leathers. I changed before I met you at Mor’s, so it’s relatively clean. I was going to sleep in it tonight, but I would sacrifice my shirt for you if it meant you’d stop frowning like that.”
If you thought you were anxious before, Azriel’s suggestion sent your anxiety through the roof. You had always found Azriel attractive, even when you were still living in Hewn City. Who wouldn’t? That attraction grew into a bit of a crush when you first arrived in Velaris. He treated you with such care as you adjusted to living above ground, quiet, patient, and thoughtful.
Once it was apparent that you would be working closely with him you shut that shit down. You and him had spent a lot of time traveling together the last few years, always with separate sleeping arrangements, and never sharing clothing. You went out of your way to respect his privacy, give him space, all in hopes of being someone he one day could trust, like how you trusted him.
You could handle one night, sharing a bed, borrowing his shirt. That wouldn’t totally backfire on you in any way, right? Nodding to yourself once, you tried for an air of confidence as you talked around the nerves that have bloomed in your chest.
“Okay,” you agreed, “but if I change into your shirt you definitely can’t take the floor. I won’t let you sleep shirtless on the ground while I’m all tucked in and cozy in bed. I’ll only take up a sliver of it by myself anyway.”
He opened his mouth to object, his intentions written in the way his brow furrowed at you. But you barreled on anyway, “So, we share the bed tonight. Are you comfortable with that?”
His mouth snapped shut, eyes studying you for a tense moment as if you may be tricking him. You clasped your hands together in front of you, the longer you waited for him to respond the clammier your palms felt. Each second felt like an eternity and in no time at all you found yourself scrambling for a way to play off your idea as a joke.
Of course he wouldn’t want to share a bed with you. What in the world had you been thinking?
Maybe you could blame it on that deliciously fizzy drink you downed before leaving the gala, say you weren’t in your right mind. Pretend to not remember in the morning, as if this wasn’t going to be a moment you cringe about decades later. Would you be able to just laugh it off? Would Azriel be chill enough to let you live this down? You were probably so screwed.
He was still a little tense, but just before your panic truly took root Azriel began to nod his head like he...agreed with you?
“Yes, I think that is the most logical solution. The bed can definitely fit two.” Azriel finally said, and you tried to keep yourself from gaping at his response. But your surprise must have been all over your face because he went on to say, “I didn’t suggest it myself because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
Wiping your hands down the front of your dress did little to help with the sweat. The pit that had been taking form in your stomach churned, your dread morphing into jittery nerves.
Then, as if you weren’t having a nervous breakdown right in front of him, the handsome lunatic started striping his leathers off. Dept hands tossing his gloves to the desk, he unclasped the chest pieces of his leathers, they fell to the floor with a thud. Then, the promised black undershirt was up over his head, and you were drinking in all his tattoos and corded muscles like you were a tactless teenager instead of a 300+ year old female.
A flash of movement from him, and you flinched when his shirt hit you square in the face. It was so big it draped over your head. You made a disgruntled noise, ignoring how delicious the shirt smelled as you removed it from your face, “Hey—!”
“If you’re done gawking at me like you’ve never seen a shirtless male, you can get ready for bed first.” He headed further into the room, collecting his chest piece off the floor and approaching the desk to place it with his gloves. He turned to face you, his butt propped against the desk as he gestured to the door his wingspan had been blocking from view. He crossed his arms over his bare chest, flexing his biceps, and you almost swooned at the sight. He knew exactly what he was doing.
Your fist tightened around the shirt, fighting the urge to toss it back at him out of spite. Embarrassment felt like hot iron under your skin, so instead you snapped your attention to the door he had pointed out–the bathroom. You knew you’d averted your gaze much too fast to seem unaffected by him. He chuckled, and you glowered at him as his head tilted to the side, watching you with a bemused expression. He looked about ready to comment further, but you waved him off with faux-annoyance and an exaggerated roll of your eyes. Clutching his shirt close to your chest, you escaped into the bathroom.
Subtle.
Pressing your back to the door, it closed under your weight. You paused there for a moment to focus on your breathing, your frazzled mind going a mile a minute. This was all so far out of your comfort zone, it wasn’t even funny. You never had to deal with handsome males in The Court of Nightmares, Kier didn’t let you socialize long enough for it to even be on your radar. Dating hadn’t quite made your list of top priorities upon arriving in Velaris either.
What little experience you did have was with a male named Allistair. You’d met him at Rita’s within your first year above ground. It was a fling of sorts that lasted a few months before you decided casual dating wasn’t for you. He was a perfectly adequate lover. At least you think he was. He was also your only lover. A nice enough companion as you acclimated to your new life. The times you had been intimate with that male had left you feeling…bereft. Seeing Allistair shirtless had been nothing like seeing Azriel shirtless.
And Azriel calling you out for ogling him so blatantly? Mother have mercy.
So now you were just expected to fall asleep next to him wearing his shirt after that? The situation almost made you want to laugh at the absurdity of it all. The last thing you wanted was to draw his suspicion by loitering against the door for too much longer, so you moved to the sink. Maybe splashing lukewarm water on your face would reveal that this had all been a weird ass nightmare.
Cupping water into your face a couple more times, you took in the smeared makeup dripping down your face in the mirror. Definitely not a dream.
Azriel was going to think you were in love with him for fucksake.
Snatching the nearby hand towel from the rack on the wall you soaked it, and got to work on scrubbing your face clean. You had to have a little more faith in Azriel. He wouldn’t let a single weird moment ruin over a year of amicable teamwork. But your personal relationship with him felt fragile to you at best. You can't let some tattoos and abs mess up what you considered to be the most solid friendship you’d made among the Inner Circle.
So what if he was hot as hell? You could co-exist with attractive people, it was legit a part of your job. You could salvage the situation, just change out of the dress you accidentally matched to the colors of his siphons, put his shirt on that smelled so strongly of him it gave you a headrush, and face him like you hadn't just been drooling over his naked chest.
You know, simple.
The hem of his t-shirt landed just above your knees, and the comfort you found in it was criminal. The black fabric was very soft and so baggy that you worried the wing slits in the back would shift forward in your sleep. It could reveal a little more than what you’d considered 'tasteful side boob'.
Resisting the urge to fuss in the mirror (because it wasn't like you were trying to look cute for anyone, right?), you exited the bathroom clean faced and a bit more settled than when you had entered.
Your bravado, however, was short lived. Azriel faced away from you in only his underwear, the rest of his leathers added to the pile on the desk. He was organizing his various knives on the bedside table closest to the main door.
He looked over his shoulder at you. Totally not catching you checking out his butt in the tight underpants. Cauldron boil you. Would it be weird if you marched yourself back into the bathroom to try the whole “not affected by sexy, almost nude Illyrian warrior” thing again?
Azriel inhaled sharply, and you snuck a glance at him. His attention was back on his knives, but there was a tension to him, almost like he was brooding. There might have been a light blush over his cheeks, but you felt weird analyzing him anymore than you already had out of habit. You clocked the change in his body language for what it was the instant he saw you in his shirt. Clenched jaw, tense shoulders, spine ramrod straight, wide eyed before averting his gaze, elevated heart rate–classic signs of attraction. Reactions he clearly didn’t want you to notice.
"I'm taking this side." He informed almost absently, patting the mattress. Leaving you with the window side.
You wandered to the desk to avoid observing him further, wishing that you could turn off the part of you that always seemed to be prying for more information. And then you felt it, his thoughts getting louder, his emotions growing wilder, reaching out to you. You slammed your mental shields up hard, a gross feeling taking root when it was too late.
Protect. Azriel’s intentions conveyed to you. Protect. Comfort. Provide. Here you were invading his private thoughts without his knowledge, while he was concerned with your wellbeing. What was the point of all that effort Rhysand put into teaching you how to better control your mental shields? It never worked when you needed it most. The failure stung, and you had to busy yourself with folding your dress in a neat square so you had something to keep your hands from shaking.
It was quiet for too long, and you struggled with recalling what he had said to you before you’d lost control. Something about the bed. "Sounds good to me." You decide on saying, placing your dress next to his leathers.
Azriel didn’t seem to find your reply out of the ordinary. Small mercies.
"I'll be out in a few minutes, then." His voice was rougher than before, and it sent chills down your spine. As soon as you heard the bathroom door click shut you scurried into bed. You couldn’t get under the covers fast enough, pulling the blankets up to your neck with a hefty sigh of relief.
It felt awesome to be laying down after such a long evening on your feet. Too bad you couldn’t enjoy it more, instead drowning under waves of shame. Maybe you’d never get a full handle on your powers. Maybe the Mother was teaching you a lesson in this life? You couldn’t fathom what the moral could be. You wanted more than anything to be able to mind your business.
You wished you could turn your brain off. Alas, even your guilt couldn’t stop you from reflecting and organizing what you’d just observed. Not only had you heard his intentions, but you also felt them. Unlike the sweet warmth of his thoughts, his gaze had felt like desire and bad decisions.
He didn’t seem like he was actively seeking to bed you. You reasoned that you were also an available female wearing nothing but his shirt and a pair of panties. You could only imagine how all of that must have chafed against his Illyrian instincts. Rhysand had once mentioned that Illyrians were possessive and protective at best, controlling and jealous at their worst.
Surely those possessive instincts were what you were picking up on, then. You were covered in his scent after all. That was the only logical explanation for his reaction, his instincts were telling him to protect you because you were vulnerable and wearing his clothing. Even if it didn’t quite sound right to you, it was the only explanation you were willing to entertain. You were barely friends, there was no way Azriel wanted to court you. The thought sent a fleeting pang of disappointment through you that you refused to examine.
Whatever. There wasn’t anything you could do to make the situation less messy right now. You were exhausted, and stewing on scenarios that would never amount to anything real was unlike you.
Snuggling further into the sheets, you decided it was best to just pretend you hadn’t noticed shit. The damage was done, Azriel wasn’t dumb, he at least knew he had flustered you. You weren’t going to draw any more attention to that tonight. Or tomorrow. Or ever. Everything about this night was a fluke.
Azriel returned from the bathroom, and you kept your focus on fluffing your pillows. Sitting up you tossed an extra pillow onto the floor, and you could feel as soon as his eyes landed on you that some of his…instincts…were still acting up. You pulled the comforter back up to your neck as he got into bed next to you. Turning on your side to face him you were determined to be normal. No more awkward gawking allowed tonight.
He stretched his arms up above his head, his joints popping a million times as he groaned in relief. You couldn't help chuckling at him, the fearsome Shadowsinger of the Night Court, doing something so mundane.
Scooting further onto the bed, Azriel rolled over to meet your gaze, his wings tucked close to his back as he settled. Most of his wingspan spilled over the side of the bed anyway. He surveyed you, eyes lingering along your tired but genuine smile, and you saw the stern tenseness slowly leave his body. "You sure you're comfortable with this?" He asked.
Your smile turned a tad warmer. This male was just so kind, so different from what you knew in Hewn City. "I am, I trust you Azriel." It was the truth. You didn't have friends growing up, and although you may have a long way to go before Azriel truly called you his friend, you considered him a dear (sexy) friend.
Your words seem to settle something in him, and you could have sworn you saw something almost affectionate flash across his face. You blink, and it's gone, but the fuzzy feeling it left in your chest remained.
Like he sensed your mushy thoughts, he ruined the moment. "So I have to ask you something, it’s serious.”
Your brows raised in bemused interest, the scenario with him wishing to court you snapping to the forefront of your mind again. He’d always been very attentive to you, but in a worried protective way. You’d never picked up on any romantic intentions from him before, and he’s not the type to make a decision like that on a whim. The chance was small, but you couldn’t 100% rule out him wanting to ask you out. Could you say no to him? Would you even want to say no? You’d never considered this as an option before!
He held your gaze, as if for dramatic effect and then with the seriousness of a top notch spymaster he asked you, “You have seen a shirtless male before...right?"
Maybe it was a mistake to consider this male kind, he was a menace all along.
You had never rolled your eyes so hard at someone. Unbelievable.
Turning away from him with enough force to toss your hair in his face, you are rewarded with the sound of his indignant grunt.
"Can you turn the light off please?" You snap, unable to rein in your annoyance. Unsettled by how it tasted almost like rejection.
"You didn't answer my question." He goaded, and you fell right for it.
"Yeah, because it's a silly question." You fire back.
He hummed at your response, "Doesn't seem like you think it's a silly question."
You would rather swallow your own tongue than admit to Azriel that you’d seen shirtless males, but he had been the first you’d enjoyed seeing shirtless.
Done with the line of questioning, you blindly flung your arm back, swatting at him. He startled at the contact, and he exhaled a scoff when you didn't stop flopping your arm at him after the first blow.
He caught your wrist, stilling your flailing. "Fine, fine, I'll drop it," He let go of your wrist, “for now.”
You shifted to burrow further into your pillows, totally not dwelling on how his big hand wrapped around your wrist made you feel dainty. The texture of his scars hadn’t made your heart skip a beat either. Nope. Not at all.
"Could you shut the light off please." You asked again with more venom than you intended. It bothered you how easy this male could get under your skin. He wasn’t even trying.
You felt his weight shifting, the bed frame squeaking a bit as he moved. "Anything for you, Princess." He shuffled a little more, and then the light went off, casting the both of you in darkness.
The nickname made you grimace into your pillow. No one had ever called you that before, and you really didn’t want it to catch on.
You felt him return to the position on his side facing you. Some moments passed in loud silence, and although you were the one that let the conversation drop, the residual tension in the room was killing you. There was no way you would be able to fall asleep, and you would bet that Azriel was stewing in the tension too.
"Az?" You whispered. His response was quick like he’d been waiting on edge for you to speak, "Yes?"
"Goodnight." And you found yourself meaning it. You hoped he got some sleep tonight despite the turmoil he had so effortlessly sowed in your stomach with his teasing. The prick.
You could practically hear the mischief in his voice. "Sleep well, princess."
Ugh. Your stomach coiled, but not in an entirely unpleasant way. Very dangerous. It was an inappropriate reaction, and you wrote it off as stress. However as hard as you wished to forget it, you wouldn’t be forgetting how Azriel had made you feel that night anytime soon.
Even your racing thoughts couldn’t stop sleep from finding you, putting you out of your misery.
And if you woke up to the sounds of song birds that morning, your face pressed against Azriel's neck, your body sprawled atop him while he slept on his back, then that was your business. No one would know if you relished being in his arms a few minutes longer than necessary. You wouldn’t confirm nor deny if one of his hands had looped through a wing hole of his borrowed shirt, his fingers resting just under your breast.
And so what if it had been the best sleep you'd gotten since leaving Hewn City. And if Azriel seemed more well rested than usual on your return to the Night Court, you certainly didn't notice that either.
XxXx
Next Chapter
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payidaresque · 1 month ago
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MAJOR TROP S2 FINALE SPOILERS BELOW (i'm too excited not to share my thought)
While some of the theories we made didn't prove to be true (honestly, i never believed they would) I LOVED THE FINALE SO MUCH. Cause i got everything i expected from it and more!!
Got an epic fight that didn't last 10 minutes but almost HALF OF THE EPISODE (THANK GOD)
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he really didn't want to harm her at first, JUST as i expected here, he was just being defensive at first. And the rest just happened in the heat of battle (which of course doesn't justify everything sauron did but hey, what did u expect? he's evil after all)
And while i do believe he used his Halbrand form to manipulate her (again, very much expected knowing who he is), i also believe that what Sauron said here is true — the way he paused before saying it and the way he looked at her tells me that he was actually being sincere. what he would've gained from saying it, manipulation wise? Sauron is not stupid, surely he understands that Galadriel would not fall for it (and she didn't) which kinda brings me to a simple conclusion that he said it because he wanted to say it
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also, this was both sexy and twisted of him omg????? totally Sauron move, i love it!! I did NOT expect that
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as for "proving his love for her", i actually think he did, in his own way?
because he could end her right there and just take the ring (rip adar and brimby btw, you will be missed 😔), but he didn't? even more so, i believe that if Galadriel didn't attack him first there, he wouldn't attack her back. As fucked up as Sauron is, Galadriel is still on his mind
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And goddamn it he meant what he said. And again, she knows who he is, she knows his tricks, so he wouldn't gain anything by saying it, which again means, that it is indeed his desire: not just to rule, but to rule with her. he'd make the whole world worship her (which, again, is basically his way of saying he loves her)
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and again, why didn't he just kill her and take her ring? what was the need of standing and looking at her like that? why try to presuade her, when he has no problems with taking what he wants by force? the answer is: because she is Galadriel. Because they are connected to each other and he feels it with every fibre of his immortal being. His expression is not even angry her, or creepy, like a few minutes ago, he's just... gazing at her.
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even more so, here
he actually got scared when she fell, he even tried to reach for her hand to stop her for falling (and before u say anything — no, i don't think it was because of the ring — he could retrieve it any other time from anyone else as no one else for him is a match for him but Galadriel — it's her he got scared for. I'm convinced of it)
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As for the mataphorical "fall of Galadriel" — well i hoped for it, but i never believed it would actually happened because of how Galadriel is (Also, Brimby's monologue from 2x07 with her kinda killed all my hopes for it so). However, i think s3 has a lot to explore, so i'm leaving a little bit of hope there)
i have many other thougts i can't process right now and i might share them later, but overall, i think the episode was GREAT! Charlie and Morfydd did wonders once again, watching them on screen is such a treat. I love them both so much!! I also might make a separate post about Charlie's and Charles' Edwards scenes were phenomenal, and I will miss Brimby dearly because of Charles' breathtaking acting
To conclude: I, personally, is fed well enough for it to last for the upcooming 2 years. Oh, and also: l'oreal paris — because you're worth it. Oh, and one more thing: he used Halbrand form because he knows that Galadriel feels for him too, and her first reaction proved it (an ass move by the way).
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thankskenpenders · 10 months ago
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Sonic Prime Season 3: Final episodes, final thoughts
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Well, here we are. The final seven episodes of Sonic Prime are out on Netflix, concluding the story of Sonic's adventures in the Shatterverse. I've previously shared my thoughts on the first and second seasons, which I was pretty mixed on, but there were still glimmers of hope. The fluid animation, Shadow being fun in all his appearances, Nine being fairly interesting as a jaded alternate version of Tails, etc. There was enough to make me believe that after some highs and lows there was still the possibility that this show could end on a high note - or at least a decent note.
This did not happen.
Sonic Prime's final season sucks. The ending sucks, and the road to get there sucks. It's left me wondering what the point of all this even was. There are still moments I like that I'll try to highlight, and the animators and voice cast are still clearly giving it their all, but these efforts sadly don't outweigh the overwhelming mediocrity of the story. I would barely even recommend other Sonic fans who are on the fence go out of their way to finish it. I won't begrudge people who got more out of this show than I did, but I think overall I just really, really dislike Sonic Prime.
...The problem, of course, is that all other discussion of the show has been overshadowed by needlessly hostile arguments over its place in Sonic's canon. So we've gotta talk about that, too.
(This post will contain full spoilers for Sonic Prime.)
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The show's out of ideas but they've gotta stretch that shit out to hit the 23 episode mark somehow
Season 2 ended with the big twist that Nine decided to betray Sonic and Shadow, taking the Paradox Prism for himself so that he could go turn the empty world of the Grim into his own little paradise, since he doesn't believe he'll fit anywhere else. Nine has made himself the true big bad of the show.
The main impact this has is that now, instead of fighting endless identical Eggforcer bots and members of the Chaos Council over and over, the good guys and the Chaos Council have to fight endless Chaos Sonic-style robots sent by Nine while he goes "grrrrr I need Sonic's energy to stabilize the Paradox Prism." This continues for six whole episodes until the series finale, when the show decides it's time for Sonic and Nine to quickly make amends, fix everything, and send Sonic and Shadow home.
That's pretty much the whole season.
I cannot emphasize enough just how much of this final season is just fight after fight after fight against Nine's bots, and how fucking boring that gets. The season feels like one long, drawn out final battle that did not need to be nearly this long, but Nine had his big heel turn 2/3 of the way through the show and we've gotta fill up the rest of the time somehow. The novelty of the bots being based off of Sonic's friends (including the Chocobo-sized Birdie from the jungle world) really wears off quickly when they're just used as generic, silent mooks that the good guys have to fight by the dozen like it's the climax of an MCU movie. The first episode of the season with Sonic and Shadow fighting the new bots is pretty good, especially because Sonic and Shadow's dynamic is one of the few redeeming aspects of this show's writing, but after that it just gets boring. Three full episodes in a row are spent showing all the characters fighting robots in an empty wasteland while Nine scowls next to a big beam of energy. I found myself missing the in-your-face attitude of Chaos Sonic so much. He truly was one of the best parts of this show.
While the cast is busy fighting all these robots for what feels like an eternity, various things of varying levels of interest happen. There's a halfhearted attempt to have some kind of rivalry between Shadow and the main Grim Sonic throughout the final battle, but it completely falls flat because Grim Sonic has no personality whatsoever. It's like Shadow beefing with an above-average Egg Pawn. (Actually, no, that would be funny.) There's also a death fakeout with the two other versions of Tails, where they make a makeshift bomb and throw it a little too close to themselves on the battlefield and seem to get vaporized. If they had actually died there they would have had the funniest, most pointless deaths in the entire franchise.
I also realized at one point that they were trying to do the Avengers girl power fight thing with the three versions of Amy fighting a bunch of Rouge bots. This was very funny to me. Actually, so much of this is just following the tired MCU formula to the letter. Fighting over a macguffin, two armies just kind of running at each other and clashing in a big empty field, constant one-liner quips instead of actual jokes, the need to take out key targets to make the whole enemy army disappear, a villain who has a point but has to randomly hurt people so that there's an excuse for the heroes to fight him. When combined with how shit the multiverse stuff is, this whole show really is just Man of Action tackling some of the most played out storytelling tropes in modern pop culture in the most bland way possible. What a bunch of hacks.
By far, the one truly fun thing that happens in this protracted final battle is when a giant robot based on Big appears. It doesn't have arms or legs, but it can swing itself around to use its tail like a giant mace, and it can also shoot Froggy-shaped missiles out of its mouth. I wish the rest of the show was even half as fun as this. Again, Sonic Prime has just enough good moments to make you mad that the rest of the show isn't better.
The thing is, all this repetitive (but well-animated) action and the thin excuse plot would be totally serviceable if I just gave a shit about the characters involved. But I don't. I don't care what happens to the pirate version of Amy who goes "arrr." I don't care about what happens to Hipster Eggman. And unfortunately, by the end, I didn't really care about Nine, either.
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Nine as a villain
It's hard to criticize the story here without it coming off as a broad condemnation of the tropes at play. The thing is, I like many stories that try to do similar things. I love clashes between heroes and villains that are really just fantastical exaggerations of more personal conflicts. I love stories where a tragic, sympathetic villain lashes out at the world as an expression of the pain they feel, and a compassionate hero just has to get through to them. I eat that shit right up. Undertale is my favorite game ever made. Shit, I love other Sonic stories that do these exact things. And Sonic having to fight an alternate timeline version of Tails also has so much potential for drama!
So I can very easily imagine a version of the show where all this works for me. That just isn't the version we got.
Like I said last time, Nine's motivation is just too sympathetic and understandable for his sudden turn to supervillainy to make any sense. He just wanted to start over somewhere where he can be happy after a childhood filled with bullying and loneliness. Nine betraying Sonic and stealing the Paradox Prism to go make his own world? That tracks! Especially since we don't even know if Nine will still exist if Sonic goes through with his plan to restore his original world! But trying to kill everyone in New Yolk City by tilting the world 90 degrees, intentionally targeting the civilian population because it'll get to Sonic? Nope! Sorry, that's a bridge too far. I don't buy it. He's jaded and antisocial, but he doesn't strike me as cruel. Writing in an excuse about him needing Sonic's energy to fix the Prism does not make this make more sense.
This was really just one of those conflicts where it felt like everyone should stop and talk it out. Instead we got six episodes of fighting before one of Sonic's many, MANY attempts at reasoning with Nine throughout the season finally works. This isn't me pulling some Cinema Sins bullshit where I complain about characters in a work of fiction not always behaving rationally - the real problem is that it's just so damn repetitive waiting for this conflict to resolve. This could have been wrapped up in two or three episodes and instead it takes seven.
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A brief aside about that weird Dorkly-ass Sonic Advance 3 flashback scene hacked together with mismatched sprites where Gemerl happens to be present, presumably just because he's a part of the sprite for the Sunset Hill boss, and seeing him briefly makes me remember the extended cast from the games and how much I wish they had just made a cartoon about them instead of a bunch of stock characters wearing the skin of Sonic's friends, but then Gemerl just explodes with the boss machine at the end while Eggman is shown to get away so I guess Gemerl just dies in this flashback
Yeah that sure happened huh
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The ending
Despite having a final battle that felt like an eternity, Sonic Prime is a show that just kind of... ends. And that ending is weird and haphazard.
The understanding I had was that Sonic's normal world had "shattered" when the Paradox Prism was destroyed, and from those remnants these new worlds were created. This is why they use terms like "Shatterverse" and "Shatterspaces" and why there's shattered glass/crystal/whatever imagery everywhere. This is a broken, fragmented version of the real universe. Right? Right?? Isn't that the entire premise of the show? And therefore, if the universe has been shattered, then fixing it means putting all the shattered pieces back together. Which I would assume means that the Shatterspaces cease to exist.
So, in the ending... Sonic's world seems to just exist as another Shatterspace. Restoring the Paradox Prism doesn't seem to combine the worlds or anything, it just fixes the broken portal to Sonic's world that exists alongside all the others. So... what exactly was the point of all the shattered glass symbolism?
Things only get more confusing as the ending progresses. Shadow brings Sonic through the portal before the draining of Sonic's whatever energy makes him disappear, and they're transported back in time to right before Sonic broke the Paradox Prism. Only Sonic seems to remember what happened (Shadow might remember, but he doesn't say anything), and with the Paradox Prism never shattered, it's unclear if the Shatterspaces exist now.
I'm not particularly hung up on the time loop ending. It's very much in line with all sorts of classic morality tales like A Christmas Carol or It's a Wonderful Life, where the flawed protagonist goes through some kind of magical experience and then returns home with a new appreciation for the people in their life. It's always been pretty obvious that was the type of story they were telling. I'm more bothered by the fact that there's no time whatsoever spent on whether or not the other worlds and the characters in them continue to exist. Sonic seems to act like the worlds will go on without him before he leaves, but it's not like we get an ending scene that shows how the other worlds are doing, so they really truly might as well not exist anymore. Sonic just wraps up the adventure from the first episode when he gets home, and before he can explain what happened from his perspective he's interrupted by a mysterious energy wave from off-screen and it's off to the next adventure.
(Despite this odd cliffhanger ending, the show is extremely over and not coming back. I have to imagine this is just a "the adventures never end" type ending and not a hint that more shit is going on with the Paradox Prism.)
This ending is also a terrible resolution to Nine's whole arc, despite him being the driving force of so much of the show. The way I see it, there are are three possible fates for him:
The Shatterspaces continue existing, and things go as Sonic expects them to go. Nine is allowed to make the Grim into his own little utopia, and everyone else leaves him alone instead of punishing him for all the trouble he caused. Instead of finding love and acceptance so he can heal from a lifetime of bullying and loneliness, Nine is allowed to run away, isolating himself from every other living being in the multiverse, and live alone as the god of an empty world with only his own creations as company. Sonic was his only friend, and he's gone forever now.
The Shatterspaces continue existing, but because of the time travel ending, most of the events of the show never happened. Sonic never helped defeat the Chaos Council, so they still control New Yolk City. Nine is back to living in this dystopian city with no friends. He never met Sonic.
The Shatterspaces have been erased. After fighting so hard for his right to exist as his own person and not just a "wrong" version of Tails, when the timeline is altered, he just... stops existing. Along with almost every other character in the show.
Do I even need to explain why these are all unsatisfying?
Misc. thoughts
I skimmed over this, but a lot of the final season is just spent seeing Sonic's friends bicker with the Chaos Council and then Sonic has to beg them to get along to save the universe. It gets old.
We also never really got an explanation for why the Chaos Council exists. They can't have come from other Shatterspaces because there ARE no other Shatterspaces. If the original Eggman was just split into five guys or time travel was involved or whatever, it never comes up. I can live with this, but it seems like an odd omission for a children's show that's constantly bogged down in technobabble explaining the mechanics of its extremely small and finite multiverse.
I have no idea where Shadow was for the first part of the final battle. I figured Nine must have captured him off-screen after Sonic first left the Grim, but Shadow was just... hanging around until his cue in the script, I guess?
Sonic saying "help a brother up" to Shadow was funny
Hipster Eggman pointing to one of the few nameless extras who tagged along for the final battle and going "Who are you? Seriously, does anyone know who this is?" was the only funny thing he did in the entire show
Mangy Tails randomly pressing buttons on the Chaos Council's generator like a curious animal and managing to improve its output was cute
Rusty Rose randomly realizes that the Birdie in her chest actually isn't being used as a power source, and that the Chaos Council was just... using that to manipulate her, somehow? I don't really know how that works but whatever
The Sonic Advance 3 flashback uses the actual boss music from the game, but they can't use the real Sunset Hill theme because they didn't wanna pay Masato Nakamura for using the Green Hill motif, I guess
To my fellow fans of bad games: did you know that Man of Action wrote the story for the bizarre Square Enix game The Quiet Man? The one where the lengthy FMV cutscenes play out with muffled audio and no subtitles because the protagonist is deaf, so you can't tell what's going on? And you had to do a New Game+ playthrough to actually hear the audio and understand what's going on? The worst-reviewed game of 2018? That one? I only learned that recently and it blew me away
So yeah, that's the end of the show. I didn't like it, and I don't think I liked the show much as a whole. I am far from alone in this sentiment, but the reasons why people dislike the show... those vary a bit.
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The canon conundrum
More than anything else, it seems like most other discourse surrounding this show has been consumed by one talking point:
How can this be canon? Why is it canon?
I want to state very clearly up front that I, too, am a person who's noticed and complained about the inconsistencies with the games in Sonic Prime. Some of the characters are a bit off - or, you know, completely unrecognizable when discussing the writing of some of the AU counterparts. I think it's lame to say Sonic and friends all live in Green Hill and act like that's the entirety of their world. That sort of thing. But if Sega says it's canon to everything else? Sure. Fine. There's weirder shit in the canon.
Really, most of this can be explained away pretty easily. The show was written at a time when Sega was still figuring shit out and there were looser restrictions. Why does Sonic act a little more immature? Probably just because Prime is aiming for a slightly younger audience than the games or the IDW comics. (And also it's, y'know, written by Man of Action, who people have accused of only knowing how to write one kind of protagonist for years.) Why do Sonic and friends live in Green Hill? Because that's the most recognizable location from the games, and the game world doesn't get enough screentime to justify modeling multiple different environments, so they just focus on Green Hill. Why is this considered canon to the games? Because this is the first Sonic cartoon that outright references events from the games as things that have happened to Sonic in the past.
But announcing early on that Prime would be canon certainly let fans' imaginations wander. It was one of the few things we knew about the show before it premiered. People wondered if characters from the games and comics who had never made any appearances in Sonic cartoons might get their time in the spotlight. We wondered if it would tie into the lore or any existing storylines in interesting ways, like the IDW comics do. But above all else, we hoped that its canon status would mean that Sonic Prime would finally be the Sonic cartoon that was faithful to the source material with no catches. We've literally never seen the actual world of the games brought to life in a TV show. Sonic X came the closest, but that still took its liberties. And so hype built for this Canon Sonic Cartoon.
And then it actually came out, and after a brief intro in Green Hill based loosely on the games, it spent most of its running time focusing on things like "what if there was a version of Eggman who was a bratty teen who just wanted to play video games?" The disappointment among fans is understandable. I am disappointed. Look at how much I've bitched about this aggressively mid cartoon.
Some fans, however, came up with an elaborate theory about the series. You see, when asked about the show's place in the game timeline during a live Q&A, Ian Flynn (who only served as a consultant on Sonic Prime and did not write any of it) said this:
"I cannot answer because I know the answer, and you haven't finished watching the show yet."
A couple days later, when answering another question about Prime's place in the timeline and also about a writing discrepancy, he said this:
"As to where it fits on the timeline, I can't speak to it because that would spoil the show to a degree. So you're just gonna have to wait 'til it's done. Towards the other point, I don't know how much I can say, so it's probably better that I not comment. That's a really dissatisfying answer, I know, I'm sorry, but my hands are kinda tied on that one."
I feel the need to quote Ian directly here, because these very basic statements about how he can't talk about behind the scenes shit or anything from unreleased episodes was GREATLY misinterpreted by the fandom. People clung onto Ian's claim that we had to keep watching like a life preserver. Some took it as Ian saying that the ending would explain everything. Finally, we'd have a definitive answer for every little discrepancy and the apparent differences in worldbuilding. An explanation for why Sega and the producers repeatedly insist this show HAS to be canon.
And to these fans, the only explanation that made any sense... would be if the ending of Sonic Prime pulled a Flashpoint.
As this theory explained, the Sonic we were following in Sonic Prime wasn't the Sonic we know from the games and the IDW comics, and likewise the world he comes from isn't really the game world. This is a different Sonic who fights a different Eggman in a world that's literally just Green Hill. It was a hint that something was off all along! But in the end of the series, this Sonic would sacrifice himself to merge all of the Shatter Spaces together and form a brand new world, and that would be the more visually diverse world of the games and comics. According to this theory, Sonic Prime was canon because it was a new origin story for the entire franchise.
I want you to really stop and think about how asinine of an origin story this would be. Really drink this in. The idea that there was another, slightly different version of Sonic who went on a kinda shitty multiverse adventure and then sacrificed himself to create the real Sonic that we've known since 1991. People convinced themselves this made more sense than the simple explanation that a different team of writers got some stuff wrong and Sega didn't make them change it. Interviews where producers talked about drawing on Sonic's "mythology" (ie: they reference the games in the show) were taken very literally - they must be saying that Prime's story is mythological in nature, and that this show would be integral to the games' mythology. Why bother making a show that's canon if it's not going to be crucial to that canon, after all?
The final episodes dropped, and none of this happened. Because of course it didn't. It was all Sherlock fandom-level copium. But fans were left confused by the lack of a grand reveal of where Sonic Prime fits in the timeline, believing they had been promised this, and they turned to Ian for an explanation. Ian's answer:
It doesn't matter, b/c Prime wipes itself out. It's sometime after Advance 3*, but otherwise, it's moot. I didn't want to sour anyone's expectations or investment by spoiling how Prime resolves, that's all. If you enjoyed it, awesome. Savor it. If you didn't, then you can safely ignore it. Simple as that.
* About a trillion people have um, actually'd Ian to point out Orbot and Cubot briefly appear in the show, but if we're really being pedantic here we don't actually know how long before Colors Eggman built Orbot and Cubot, so it wouldn't be fully accurate to say a story featuring Orbot and Cubot couldn't be set before Colors. Either way, a story set anywhere around Colors, or at any point later than that, could still be described as "sometime after Advance 3." Advance 3 is just the most recent game that has specific in-game events referenced in the show. Yes I can feel myself morphing into the nerd emoji before your very eyes
Anyway, this is the latest reason Ian is getting death threats on Twitter. This time it's over a show he barely even had any input on!
I'll cut to the chase. It is truly wild to me that people are getting this heated over canonical inconsistencies in a series as historically inconsistent as Sonic, to the point that they think threatening Ian is justified. The aesthetics of the entire world Sonic inhabits change every other game. Sonic Chronicles may no longer be canon due to the Penders lawsuits, but it was canon at one point, and it took huge liberties with Sonic's world, moving Green Hill off of South Island and reinterpreting Station Square as a tiny outpost in a snowy alpine forest region. Characters' personalities change from writer to writer and based on what Sega wants at the time, with some being WILDLY different across different games. One game Sonic will be stoic and cool, the next he thinks "Baldy McNosehair" is the funniest thing ever. Sega's STILL trying to figure out what Amy's personality is supposed to be. We still don't have the explanation for how the two seemingly contradictory backstories for Blaze can fit together. There have been multiple huge, sweeping retcons, and retcons to those retcons. Sonic Forces claims that Classic Sonic is from an entirely different universe than Modern Sonic, and the plot only makes any sense if that's true - otherwise, Modern Sonic would have already known Eggman was going to beat him and take over the world when he did, because his younger self had already lived through that war. All of that makes no sense in the newly reunified timeline, but Forces is very much still canon.
For fuck's sake, we're talking about the series where Eggman blew up half the moon and then it looked completely normal in every other game after, explained away as "the moon just rotated so we can't see the destroyed side from Earth." This has never, ever, ever been a franchise where everything lines up perfectly with no issues. It's not that serious.
The real core problem with Prime isn't that things don't line up 100% with our current understanding of canon, or that Sonic's characterization means this can't be the real Sonic, or anything like that. The problem, as I've been saying this whole time, is that the story is bad. None of these discrepancies would truly matter if the story was better. They'd just be nitpicks. The fact that Sonic and friends live in Green Hill would be the farthest thing from my mind if the drama was more engaging, if the villains were better, if the jokes were actually funny, if more of the alternate universe counterparts of Sonic's friends had more than one generic character trait each, if the multiverse was more creative and varied, if the final seven episodes of this show didn't devolve into the third act of an MCU movie and then just arbitrarily end, if Nine's character arc actually had a satisfying conclusion instead of ending with either isolation or nonexistence. Maybe we'd be seeing people talk about more than just whether or not it should be considered canon if the writing was any good.
"Canon" is not real, and it sure as hell isn't worth sending people death threats over. It's a storytelling tool. Real human beings decide what does and doesn't go into that canon, or how much they do or don't want to draw on past stories, when creating a new story. Serving that canon is secondary to creating a story where the emotional truth resonates with the audience. And Sonic Prime failed to do that. That is its true failing.
And finally, to close out...
Since people will ask, here are my current ranking of the Sonic TV shows, now that Prime is finished.
Sonic Boom
Sonic SatAM
Sonic X
The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog
Sonic Prime
Sonic Underground
Yes, I'd say Boom is my favorite. It's far from my ideal Sonic cartoon, but it gets a lot of points for being as funny as it is. But the top four are all shows I'd say I like, more or less. They all have their pros and cons.
So now, uh... I guess let's hope the live action Knuckles show coming to Paramount+ is better than the underwhelming synopsis of "Knuckles helps deputy sheriff Wade train in the ways of the echidna warrior" would imply? Maybe we'll get lucky?
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misc-obeyme · 4 months ago
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nightbringer lesson 41
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Welp. That sure was a lesson. As always, my unfiltered thoughts and spoilers are below the cut. There will be screenshots, you have been warned.
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Everybody still doesn't know we were gone. The only one who is aware of the fact that MC was in a different timeline is Solomon, as far as we know. It's possible that someone is hiding their knowledge, but I see no evidence of that currently.
HOWEVER. All the bros are SUPER clingy. Lucifer is constantly getting on their case about the fact that they can't leave MC alone. And at one point, he says he's feeling inexplicably giddy and he thinks that's what his brothers are feeling, too. So there is something that's changed and they can all kinda feel it... but nobody knows what it is and they all kinda just brush it off.
There's a lot of "huh we just saw each other but for some reason..." kinda stuff.
When Luke first sees us, that poor boy just bursts into tears. Simeon wants to pet our head, but we can also choose to hug him.
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I have been known to have this affect on children, but still.
Overall, the brothers are being very much themselves. Beel is eating things and relating everything to food, Belphie is sleepy, Asmo loves pretty things, etc etc.
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See what I mean? We did have some excellent one liners like this and I'll get to more of those lol.
My point is, nobody is acting off except for the thing where they all react a little weirdly to MC.
For a good chunk of the lesson, I was like... and where the HELL is Solomon after all this, huh?? But I'll get to him, too.
Because guess what? Diavolo has had another great idea and this time it's... the RAD Science Fair!!!
...
WHAT.
This feels very much like the usual thing they do where MC always has to have some kinda goal that requires them to spend time with each brother individually. I'm still not entirely sure how that's gonna shake out with this, though.
There are seven categories or "fields of study" as they're called. They all start with Devildom, so it's like Devildom math, Devildom geography, etc etc.
Diavolo tells them that the student council members are required to enter.
So they spend some time thinking about what category they want to go for.
There's this part where they're all heading home from RAD and MC starts to leave with Simeon and Luke. They tell you that not long ago, Simeon and Luke tried to go "home" to the HoL. Weird. All very weird. They all decide to go to a cafe instead.
They're talking about which category they're going to choose and then... Thirteen shows up!
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Thirteen is so excited to see MC she has to give them a hug! Huh. How weird. (It's not weird, my love, you can throw your arms around me anytime.)
ANYWAY, they have a whole discussion and I loved how involved she was. Though we never have enough Thirteen content. And of course, she's still not dateable...
Then we find out that Lucifer has just chosen his brothers' categories for them anyway. MC gets to choose who they want to pair with. I chose Mammon, but I don't know if this actually matters or not. Usually I go back and try different options, but I decided to leave this one for now to see if it seems like it's going to make a difference in upcoming lessons. I'll report back if it seems to change anything later.
At this time, you also find out that Diavolo has decided to enter all seven categories, too. Barbatos is also entering, but only three categories. I almost lost my shit at this part but at least Barb gets to do only three. Diavolo is a crazy man who enjoys doing this sorta stuff, but Barb needs to take it easy he already works to much!
And that's basically it! There's this one cute part where you're finally at the HoL where you can choose to hang out with a set of brothers. No matter who you choose, it's a cute little scene and it always ends saying you had a lovely time together~ (Personally I thought the one with Asmo, Belphie, and Lucifer was the most entertaining lol.)
You talk to Solomon on the phone at some point too and he tells you...
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Yeah. I was like ARE YOU KIDDING ME. GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW I NEED YOU.
And then he hits us with this:
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And I was like, fine I forgive you.
BUT THEN. Spoilers here for the locked lesson (41-A, not the hard mode):
The locked lesson is of your very first night back. You're in your room at the HoL with Solomon. He tells you he's going to stay the night because the fact that the two of you suddenly appeared in this timeline might make things unstable. And if you're together, it'll be easier to tell if something's going wrong. Sounds like a feeble excuse to me, old man. I know what you really want.
But he also says this:
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OH. Here I am like, it's a couple hundred, maybe a couple thousand? NOPE. SEVERAL MILLENNIA.
But then the brothers burst in and they're like we are not going to let you stay here alone with MC! So they have a gaming tournament in the common room.
Then when it's really time to go to bed, Lucifer stops you and Solomon before you get back to your room. He straight up kisses you on the forehead and says sweet dreams with a stupid smug grin before leaving and Solomon is like huh. That just happened.
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YEAH WELL.
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Solomon is back on his, you'll never be mine bullshit. (I'm not blaming him, it's not his fault, but it bothers me how often this narrative comes up because we never get the choice to resolve it. By telling him how much we love him.)
Of course if you tell him to cheer up, though...
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Yeah, right after this we got a fade to black because you know he might've been talking about something innocent, like a kiss. But if I'm left to fill in the blank myself... well, let's just say I'm still in my smut mode.
Spoilers for the hard lesson now:
It's silly times with the Little Ds! I'm just glad we got more Dia and Barb content, to be real with you. They're pretty cute with the Little Ds.
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Right after Barb says this, looking super aggrieved about it, Diavolo just laughs happily. Classic.
Extra stuff:
After the second story node, you get to see a chat between Raphael and Simeon. Raphael tells Simeon that Michael has summoned him, so he needs to go back to the CR for a few days. Simeon says okay and hopes that everything's all right. Then he tells Raphael to tell Diavolo. Raphael is like why? And Simeon says you're an exchange student from the CR, you have to get his permission to leave. And Raph is basically like okay, fiiiiiine lol.
Also, there is a very brief moment at the end of the last story node where we see Simeon acting odd. He's not really doing anything, he's just sorta grunting... like grh and frowning. If you ask him if he's okay, he says he's fine, he must not have gotten enough sleep. You get a chat between Luke and Simeon where Luke also asks him if he's okay and Simeon gives him the same excuse.
Sooooo what does any of this mean? I have no idea. Is it possible that the hard mode focusing on the Little Ds means there may be more to the Little Ds coming up? Is Simeon acting weird somehow related to Michael wanting to see Raphael? Does any of this Science Fair stuff mean anything or is it just another tactic to have MC spend time with their bro of choice? When is Solomon coming back? Why doesn't he have to enter the Science Fair? Simeon said that Diavolo wanted him and Luke to participate, so what about Solomon? Is he really out there gathering herbs? That feels like a weird thing to be doing at this particular moment.
And perhaps the most telling of all, what it does mean that this version of our characters remember things from the timeline we just left as if it only just happened to them?
All through the last two seasons, I have been trying to figure out why the characters from the past seemingly had memories of a future they haven't experienced yet. And now it's happening again. You could say they remember those past events, but they don't really seem to, do they? And even so, we now have confirmation that it would have been MILLENNIA ago for them. So this feels less like them remembering something that happened and more like they're just getting feelings that are related to the things that MC just experienced in the "past."
Ugh, okay, if I keep going I'm gonna make myself crazy. As always, we have not enough info and more questions than what we started with.
Onto my fave one liners:
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Mammon's response to this is "Yikes!" And like... yeah, but damn Lucifer that's one hell of a threat lol.
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Barbatos! Don't lump me in with them! :(
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That was me in high school.
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This part was just cute and wholesome in my opinion. This is the found family content that keeps me coming back to this game.
Anyway, after everything, I still just wanna know...
... where the FUCK is Nightbringer?
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masterlist | Thank you for reading!
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terezis · 1 year ago
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ok here's the hot goss from the nycc taz gn panel
i don't actually know whether or not it was recorded/ if they're going to put it online so here is my summary. also if i miss anything and u were there pls feel free to chime in. spoilers obviously!!!
got eight new preview pages (four two-page spreads), not the pages on the macmillan website!!!
ok i will tell u about those pages but the main thing discussed at the panel was how they went about adapting this arc into gn form. the actual time spent in wonderland has been trimmed a lot bc they had to think about what was actually important to the narrative as they are building to story and song.
basically in planning out the suffering game they also really had to decide what the rest of the series would look like, bc whatever they include now is seeding the stuff that's going to happen later.
cam is not in this book. it was implied there's less wheel spins. rowan/ash/sterling get much less screen time
almost half of this book is lunar interlude stuff (pre and post suffering game, INCLUDING REUNION TOUR!!! no word on where it ends but they made it clear that a LOT of thought went into what to include and where to end it, and what that would mean for the next book)
ok so about those preview pages
first one was post-taakitz date with kravitz sensing a lich and the umbra staff shooting at him <3 <3 <3
i thought they were going to show us the preview pages that were on macmillan so when i saw kravitz i was so shook
second spread was magnus visiting the voidfish, which now happens right before they leave for wonderland; the whole beginning of tsg from magnus trying to talk to pringles to him kidnapping those guards to the chimera fight was cut LOL bc it never really got… addressed again in the podcast
angus comes to get him for the mission but magnus has been going Through It (outright stated, they were like. he found out he's a red robe. he would probably not be handling it well. he has eyebags now. LOL) and snaps at angus when angus presses him on what's wrong.
more angus content, he will be investigating what's going on at the bureau more (his scene w magnus ties into this)
same for lucretia! more content/ stuff for her to do
third spread was merle w his kids getting saved by the red robe, is at a carnival instead of a random street this time LOL
last one was the boys arriving just outside of wonderland
wonderland looks fuckign cool
what else… oh confirmed like eighty panels of bare ass naked magnus after he gets his body back. so i think we really are getting the full reunion tour this book???
ALSO NAKED BARRY COVERED IN SLIME. WHEN HE GETS OUT OF THE POD. CONFIRMED. CANON. LOL
omg ALSO!!! ben (editor) said he campaigned REALLY HARD to have the umbra staff break during the suffering game, freeing lup early, bc he really wanted more time with her, but griffin campaigned really hard NOT to do this, and in doing so his arguments solved a lot of other problems they had been having at the time LOL
travis is the fans' champion when the others get too edit-happy. he's the one who has a good idea of what moments are important to the readers so he's like hey… too far. don't cut that. and then they don't
justin leaves great notes and when they couldn't figure stuff out ben would often say "no it's fine justin will solve this." and he ALWAYS DID
this was news to justin
??? i think that's all the main points honestly i'm v picky about adaptations but overall i feel like these are good changes that make sense when translating the podcast to gn
that said i do hope taako still gets a washing machine dropped on him <3 do this for me carey <3
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yumeka-sxf · 7 months ago
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Thoughts on Spy x Family CODE: White
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My thoughts on CODE: White will likely be different from most people since I knew pretty much the entire plot beforehand. I'm a spoiler fiend when it comes to my hyperfixations like SxF, so I read the novelization of the movie back in January and kept up on all the promotional videos and images that were released. But when it was finally time to see the movie for myself, did that ruin my enjoyment? Not at all. For me, it actually made me enjoy it more because 1) I knew what to expect so I wasn't disappointed, and 2) I found myself looking forward to seeing all the scenes I only read about or saw short clips of.
With that said, yes, I enjoyed the movie so much! If you're a Spy x Family fan, or even just a casual enjoyer of the series, it's a ton of fun. It has all the elements we love about the series: clever humor, sweet family moments, and spy action/drama. And because it's a movie, we get to see all of this with a movie animation budget instead of a TV series budget, which is another plus!
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One thing to keep in mind with these original, stand-alone anime films based on series is that they're meant for a more general crowd than just fans of the series. Since theaters attract a wider audience than late-night TV and online manga chapters, movies like this serve as a means to introduce the series to people who may only have a vague idea of what it's about. That's why these movies contain a storyline that can fit mostly anywhere in the series chronology and don't have anything canon-altering.
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CODE: White is an interesting mix of plots that, for the most part, blend together well. There's the main plot that continues throughout, which is saving Operation Strix by having Anya learn how to make the meremere for the cooking contest, but then there's the Yor jealousy plot B which is resolved in the first half, but is then replaced by the next "plot B" in the latter half of the movie, which is saving Anya from the military.
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A lot of people didn't like the "Yor gets jealous" subplot when it was first revealed before the movie even came out, since it seemed to be a rehash of her being jealous about Fiona. I personally didn't have a problem with this since I don't think it's unreasonable for her to get jealous a second time, especially when she thinks she sees Loid doing something extreme like kissing another woman (as opposed to just talking). But the way it was resolved could have been a bit better in my opinion. The ferris wheel scene in the movie very much mirrored the bar scene from the series, but the reason the latter is so effective is because we get to hear Loid's inner thoughts during it; we know he's going full Twilight-mode and isn't being sincere, and that's why Yor kicks him. But then at the park, he talks to her much more genuinely and they work things out. But in the ferris wheel scene, we don't get to hear his inner thoughts so we don't get any indication as to whether his repeating of the marriage vows, etc, is him being sincere or not. Then she smacks him, they insist they aren't fighting when Anya brings it up, and that's the end of it.
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I do like the fact that Anya reads their minds and seems happy with what she "hears" in their heads, but I still think the subplot would have felt more complete if it ended after Yor realized her mistake rather than have Loid do the ambiguous Romeo act again. Or it could have been brought up one more time later in the movie, for example, Yor apologizes for hitting him, he talks to her more sincerely, etc. If you're gonna rehash the bar scene, at least rehash the scene that brought it closure, which is the park bench scene. Again, I'm totally fine with the jealously subplot overall, just thought it could have been wrapped up a bit better.
Other than that, there were just a few little issues I had, like how was Anya able to afford what was probably an expensive liquor? (was she really packing that much dough in her little bag? She went straight from the bedroom out the window so it's not like she "borrowed" any money from Loid). Also seemed weird that she didn't pick up on Yor's infidelity worries until last minute. A few things stretched the line of believability a bit far too, like Loid's ability to make perfect masks so quickly, and Anya just happening to hit her head on the button that conveniently opened all the windows on the bridge. Also something here and there that didn't align with the manga, like Yor not having any reaction to sharing a room with Loid, whereas she has a totally different reaction to this in chapter 94. Maybe a bit more resolution for the fates of the villains too. I guess Luca and Dmitri survived the crash, but what about Snidel? Did Loid actually kill him or just knock him out? And if it's the latter, Snidel seems like the type who would want to get revenge. A quick cameo of what happened to them in the end would have been nice.
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Speaking of the villains, normally I wouldn't like the fact that they're pretty one-dimensional and not that interesting, but for a movie like this where most people just want to see the Forgers being themselves in fun and exciting scenarios, taking time away from that to make more developed villains who likely won't be seen again in the franchise, would have not been the best choice, lol.
But even though I had some criticisms of the movie, all of them are minor and not enough to overshadow everything else that was enjoyable about it. Besides all the humor, of which there was plenty, there were so many cute "awww" family moments that perhaps didn't lend anything to the plot, but were still important to establish the characters and their relationships, and thus make us care about what happens to them. Like the scene of Anya, Yor, and Bond playing at the hotel...it could have been skipped without anything seeming out of place, but it reveals so much about the characters without being blatant about it: how Yor wants to please Anya despite being a bit embarrassed at first to take part in her game, and then how Anya's eyes light up with happiness when Yor starts playing with her...for a series like SxF that's character-driven rather than plot-driven, scenes like this are so important and I'm glad the film creators realized this too!
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There were also so many cute, subtle scenes as well, like when Loid and Yor smile at each other after chiding Anya, as if they're happy to share this moment of exhausting yet satisfying parenting; when Anya reads Loid's mind after he saves her but doesn't reveal what he's actually thinking yet we can imagine what it is based on her expression; Loid showing feelings of comradery with the restaurant owner because their pasts are so similar; Anya quietly and sadly hugging Bond in the bedroom; and in the ferris wheel after Yor feels so embarrassed about misunderstanding what happened with Loid and the woman but then can't help but smile with motherly love when she sees Anya waving at her...the movie is filled with moments like this that are like little love letters to fans who know the true heart of SxF isn't so much the action and spy drama as it is the family relationships.
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And of course, as I mentioned before, the animation of the movie is fantastic! Not just the action scenes, which are great by the way, especially Yor's fight with Type F, but the character expressions as well. Anya's always had the most varied and hilarious faces of all the characters, but the movie goes even harder with her expressions, especially when she has to hold in her stool! Her faces were making me both cringe and laugh at the same time! The animators did such a good job making me feel sorry for her but also laugh at her.
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I'm not a fan of potty humor, but I was confident SxF would make it funny, and I was right! The poop god sequence in particular was as equally cringe as it was hilarious!
To conclude, CODE: White is a must-see for anyone who likes or loves Spy x Family. I can't say it's a cinematic masterpiece or anything, but for what it's supposed to be - a fun and enjoyable film for those who like the series, it definitely delivers! Can't wait to see it at least two more times during its showing in the US...and more times in the future!
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rose-tinted-kalopsia · 2 months ago
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"floral blessings" ; a braindump from yours truly because this card is absofuckinglutely my most favorite xavier card on the face of the planet and i am. going. to talk about it <3
like with all my 5* card "analyses" (but also more like a wordvomit really 😭) this will contain spoilers for: (a) this card itself, (b) the lightseeker myth, (c) the lumiere myth, (d) anecdotes, main story, and world underneath !
[ this is also very long............ you have been warned 🤲 ]
first of all...... MY GOD...... FHSNNFBSJFJSJFK YELLING SCREAMING THROWING UP IM NEVER GETTING OVER THE KINDLED CARD FOR THIS BECAUSE. BECAUSE HELLOOOO??? HELLOOOO???
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anyway..................
timeline-wise, the card pretty much implies a very solid relationship between the two, so while i don't know where i'd place it between 21 days and no restraint, it's definitely still after 21 days! but with that said, rather than more focus on their individual development like in no restraint, this one seems to focus more on their relationship as a whole, i think?
overall this braindump won't be as organized as what i wrote for no restraint (i think...) because my brain is still so completely absolutely mush over this card, but i needed to write SOMETHING or i'd explode to smithereens 😭 so nevertheless...!!!! i'll section off a couple scenes so if you want an outline, it'd be something like:
[1] general setup (an overview of parallels); [2] "reunion" (parallels and relationship development); [3] xavier's forwardness (the courtyard meetings, lessons, giving of the mask); [4] day of the festival; [5] the wish
but bear with me;;; there is SO MUCH that goes on here, and i really wish i had the patience and coherency to point out every little thing because holy shit 😭
firstly though, and i just found this really cool, but apparently the flower goddess festival is (was) an actual thing!
from what i've found (and correct me in i'm wrong) it's apparently a very ancient festival that's not widely celebrated these days, so it's not super popular or well-known, but it has many names such as: "Flower Goddess Festival (花神节 huāshén jié)" "Hundred Flowers’ Birthday (百花生日 bǎihuā shēngrì)" and "Flower Goddess’ Birthday (花神生日 huāshén shēngrì)" !!! i couldn't find much information about it though, but it seems that what was in the card such as the flower cakes and the dance really were actually part of the festival~ and i've also seen people say that xavier and mc's outfits feel to be from the tang dynasty, which a lot of people speculate is the time period that this festival originated!
BUT, MOVING ON...
i. general setup — an overview of parallels
i think honestly what's most interesting to me here is how much the overall card mirrors xavier's lightseeker myth so incredibly well. with all of xavier's cards, and how he's grown as a person and how their relationship has developed overall... so much of all of that ties to who he was as a lightseeker, to who he was as the prince of philos. in fact, it goes without saying that lumiere's myth story itself is so bound to the lightseeker myth. because, and i've said this so often and repeat myself a lot with it, lumiere is a direct reflection of the princely persona xavier has grown up with. that the reason he's always been so averse to who he becomes as lumiere is because he essentially channels prince xavier, someone who he's never thought to be truly him, someone who he's been wanting to push aside and no longer be. (i talk about it in my lumiere myth braindumps and touch on it in my no restraint braindump!)
and there's something about that reflection that transfers here, too, because there are two things that all three situations have in common: (1) a position of importance, and (2) a duty to do or fulfil something.
of the prince of philos and heir to the throne, of lumiere as the strongest hunter expected to protect the citizens, of the young master—usually the son of a wealthy family, however, in this case xavier claims he was "adopted" due to his calligraphy skills—with the task of seeing the festival through and teaching the flower goddesses calligraphy.
yet, at the same time, there's something different about the way xavier assumes this role of the "young master":
he's able to say no.
the role is lighter, likely because it's not a true role and, like mc as a flower goddess, he knows that it's temporary—but the way that their first meeting in the courtyard can remind you so much of prince xavier is almost jarring.
it's reminiscent of the very first time mc sees him with his bodyguards, in our most favorite anecdote "when shooting stars fall":
"They aren't clad in all black as one would expect, and they keep a respectable distance away from Xavier. Still, these people exude an air of oppression. Xavier, with his bag, is at the center of their group. It seems he's used to being stared at. The only difference is that rather than being his usual expressionless self, he appears slightly upset."
lt's reminiscent of that time they staged a spar, only for the royal messenger and his guards to interrupt it:
"The royal decree he brought today was related to the future of Philos ... Xavier was taken away by the Royal Messenger. Our duel ended with no clear winner, and the crowd quickly left."
and you can see how his progression grows, from prince xavier, to lumiere, to this role he plays as the young master—if as the prince of philos he had no choice but to follow the path laid out for him until he had enough of it, as lumiere he was more free to choose who he saved and when he saved them. now, as the young master, he's able to say no, sir, something urgent came up. he's able to say right now, i have something that i want to do first.
which, also interestingly, but in the more 'passive' role he played as part of the special task force, he wasn't quite one to say "no" either—though he kept a low and nonchalant profile, he's never outright refuted anyone, even if he might disagree, such as the party gathering or whatnot.
(also, slight segue, but it's notable that he's likely grown into a habit of a little selfishness due to what appears to be some kind of aversion to "serving the people". i do talk a little bit about that here—but it's the fact that (a) all he really cares about is mc, and (b) he likely still doesn't want to fall back into his patterns as prince xavier where he felt chained to think of the people more than the woman he loves. it does bring a little bit of question to his morality, but we know that mc has very much been something like his moral compass throughout.)
but, more than just the ability to say what he thinks and say no to certain things he doesn't put as a priority... he also feels light enough to goof around a little. dozing off/doodling during class, cheekily vying for mc's attention without concern about showing "favor"... something about xavier in this little persona he's taken on is an air of confidence. this was a kind of confidence you didn't see from him as the prince, as lumiere, even as the task force member. and it's not the confidence in his abilities, which has always been there—
it's the confidence in himself.
it takes a certain level of sureness to be able to do things on your own terms, or to be able to voice the fact that you want to.
i believe that throughout the parallels strewn throughout this card with how the setup is, it's this confidence that shines through and really makes things different.
because this time, xavier is different.
he's growing as a person.
ii. the "reunion"
this part of the card had me gasping out loud, i kid you not 😭😭😭 because the parallels really the fuck parallel in here 😭
"The Chen residence is far away. And I can't exactly leave as I'm one of the Flower Goddesses. So, I had to let Xavier investigate himself."
"He said he'd be back after four days. Why isn't he here ... Worried, I sit on the grass and gaze at the night sky. I'm barely in the mood to appreciate the fragrant blooms above."
first of all, the setting very much feels like the meteor shower scenario in "when shooting stars fall", but also...
"Xavier would always leave me like this. At times he joined the expedition team. Other times he was returning to the palace with the Royal Messenger. I'd always ask when he could return. He always returned within the timeframe given to me.Before the Prince entered the Forest, everyone was praying for his safety. At that time, Xavier whispered into my ear... 'Seven days.'"
"He's always lied, again and again and again and again. He said hope would follow when spring arrived. He said he'd take me to the new planet he discovered.He said he didn't want to be King but also refused to let me stand by another's side. He said he'd return when I miss him. He said when I become the Queen of Philos, he'd be my knight. The song he made up is now a reality. Yet as thousands cheer my name, he abandons me... At that moment, a spaceship soars across the sky like a shooting star, disappearing into the night. My footsteps echo in this empty room. No one will be by my side. My star has left me. And this time... he will not return home."
everyone's favorite scene from the lightseeker myth.
while at the same time...
"For some reason, seeing Xavier quietly admiring the nebula, I suddenly feel a wave of panic and instinctively reach out to grab his hand."
^ that's from "shining traces", but only one out of the many examples wherein mc feels as it xavier is someone she could lose at any second—not particularly because she doesn't trust him, but because there's a nagging feeling in her chest that they could be separated for longer than either of them would have hoped to be. after all, it's happened before already, she just doesn't know it. but whatever it was that happened in her previous lives, i've no doubt that the anxiety from back then had likely transferred over anyway.
and this is what this reunion feels like.
a sense of discomfort around his absence, that nagging "what if" he doesn't come back.
but it doesn't stop there—
because xavier does return, albeit very tired-looking (again i'd call this reminiscent of That Moment in "when shooting stars fall" where he brings her the protocore in hopes to keep her from dying).
and more than that, he explains. again, like what happened in the no restraint card, he explains. he doesn't keep things vague on purpose, or makes it seem like he's hiding something from her. he explains, and he takes the initiative to, if only to soothe her worries.
to soothe her worries.
that's an important point.
(and also on a side note:)
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HDJJAJDJSJ I HAD TO AND THIS IS A DIRECT PARALLEL TO "No matter how many times it takes, no matter where you are... I will find you." BY THE WAY
anyway......!!!!!!!!! again, it doesn't stop there.
because this scene and this conversation also directly talk about home.
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and this conversation means a lot more to xavier than, i think, generally one would realize. mostly because—and i remember kay making a really good point about it here—xavier has gone through a lot to get to where we see him now, and so much of change that he's had to get used to... time traveling so far only to get stuck? the different lifetimes he and the backtrackers would have had to witness this whole entire time?
like i mentioned, our brain's natural instinct is to strive for stability—you can even see it in what we know from our high school biology lessons a la homeostasis. yet, what xavier went through, what the backtrackers went through, is one hell of a shock of a change. it's the kind of change that needs processing, but isn't easy to process, and especially not quickly. and xavier had little to no one to lean on for support, to lean on to guide him through it. the result of which being that, as established even in his earlier cards... change isn't something he likes.
and as also established in world underneath, we know he just simply wants a neat little mundane life with mc.
keyword: with mc.
he doesn't really know what home is, because he has a distorted perception of it—the xavier now, in this moment, still recalls his home planet, the life he has ties to, back in philos. but as he is now, his home is in linkon. and then it comes to the conclusion that the answer is, really truly, neither.
his home is with her.
he says it, this time, explicitly.
it's his declaration that it's okay if things change, as long as he has her—as long as she remains the constant. then change is something he can deal with.
yet, even as he reveals all this to her, the conversation starts with him asking her. the conversation starts about her. and it's she who's able to give the opening back to him, by touching on things like change and belongingness.
"Even in a place this strange, you'll feel like you don't belong. No matter how long you stay ... Am I wrong? l'm sure many people feel safer in a place they're familiar with."
mc isn't a stranger to change, either—she's had a lot of it in her life, specifically the life she lives now as a hunter. the chronorift catastrophe, her family... it's not as if she doesn't know how jarring change can be, and she expresses that here—having to "start again" in a place she's unfamiliar with... it's not easy, and it's easy to feel out of place.
humans are social creatures. we were made to be social, we were made to interact with others. but from that need and that inherent desire (because no matter how small, it's always going to be there) stems the need to belong. a human emotional need to affiliate with and be accepted by members of a group.
this is something that is so prominent in mc that it is a place of solace for her to feel like she belongs somewhere. but this sense of belongingness is something that xavier has NOT experienced for a long, long time. it's only something he's been learning to experience again with her, and the people that surround them in this life that want nothing but the best for them both.
it goes back:
his home is wherever she is.
and i think that it's beautiful that, after hearing xavier's side, mc then chooses to agree with it:
"Maybe... the sense of belonging I have is like yours."
if his home is wherever she is, then her home is with him.
ALSO— while we're talking about this scene... the little banter they have with the flower cake?????? AND THE FACT THAT HE KISSES HER?!!?!?!?! JUST LIKE THAT!!!???!?!?!?!?!! (if you can't tell, i yelled about it)
AND THIS SCENE;?!
—"His eyes are a little red, maybe because of how exhausted he's been lately. Even his blinking has slowed down ... 'I'm a little tired. Can I lie down for a bit?'"
—"Before I can answer, Xavier rests his head on my lap."
DIRECTLY plays out the mutual reliance they have on one another for comfort and rest, because it parallels that line in lightseeking ovsession that we're all familiar with:
"You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me."
i think that as much as they have been growing in to their own persons, they're both so closely intertwined, and so much of their love for each other really just pours out all the time.
iii. xavier's forwardness
granted, one thing that's interesting in this is that they do start out pretty tame. there's a little bit of a vague area concerning their relationship at the start of the card, especially since mc seems back into her old habits of starting something and not following through—or otherwise, unintentionally starting something, and then shying away afterwards. she does get noticeably flustered, but she pushes the fluster away... almost as if old habits die hard.
...but xavier, on the other hand, is more consistently bold with whatever he's doing.
there's no hesitation on his part at all, even.
in fact, xavier is the one who initiates most of these things, and doesn't shy away from it. his cheekiness really shines through—he's the one who kisses her suddenly (and for all the other kisses he initiates in the card); he's the one who fixes her clothes, her hair; he's the one playing around while teaching her calligraphy; he's the one who's so eager and unbothered about showing off their relationship:
—"Did we need to hide? Or can the Young Master not chat with a Flower Goddess?"
—"It was going to be awkward... And I heard one of the hosts of this ceremony is the mansion's owner. Since you're an organizer and the Young Master, it wouldn't look good if I was biased, right?"
—He touches the small of my back, which makes me stand up straight. "But you always have special place in my heart."
and:
"Well, I guess everyone knows now. Does this mean I can officially play favorites?"
like he's actually being SUCH a menace i had to pause and take a deep breath
but he's very consistently bold, and it, again, goes back to the confidence that he's gained in himself. he seems a little less of the uncertain, almost shy ish xavier who didn't quite know how to make proper advances... this time, he knows mc is comfortable with his advances, and he gets to play around with that. they're comfortable around each other, to this point that he can be a little more free with his words and his actions.
and eventually, we see mc beginning to reciprocate that again—especially during the festival itself, and in the kindled moments.
which brings me to...
iv. the festival day
i'd specifically talk about, here, the moment before the dance and during the dance.
because it's alao the exact moment that we see mc begin to actually reciprocate and throw back her own advancements—it's the exact moment we have a confirmation that she loves him, that she adores him, that he means so so so so much to her.
and on the day of the festival, we go back to what i highlighted earlier:
he soothes her worries.
the first instance we see this is their little "reunion" that we talked about—it's his very presence, and his added explanation, that calms her down in that moment.
and now is not so different:
—"The most important part of the ceremony, the Flower Goddess Dance, is about to begin. I glance again at the crowd. 'Where will you be during the dance?'"
—"Xavier gently takes my hand that's holding the petal. 'That flower from the roadside will wilt if you keep touching it.'"
—"'I'm just a little nervous.'"
—"'Scared of dancing, hunter? Actually, I got you a gift ... It was meant to be a surprise. But since you're feeling nervous, I figured I should tell you."
—"'That works. Now, my focus has shifted to the excitement about your gift.'"
(which, another side note, but "Scared of dancing, hunter?" had me GASPING because???? the way he teases her in this?! it's so unabashedly him without holding anything back, no coyness about it but he's being a cheeky little shit 😭 i adore him...)
a few things to note here is that out of context, it does feel like a little bit of an awkward way to be comforting someone—yet, it works extremely well. what xavier does here is not provide reassuring sugarcoated words like "it's going to be okay", he distracts her from the problem instead by giving her something to look forward to. which, in this case, is the gift.
interestingly, in a way the 'distracting' is also reminiscent of something he does when he tries to hide something from her—cutting the conversation short when she asks about lumiere, in the lumiere myth asking her to go check on the 'wanderer' so as not to let her see what he had to inject from the ship...
in his lightseeker myth, they talk briefly about his fight with the king, and the possibility of him no longer taking the throne. this conversation proves vague and a little bit one-sided, and in the end he pushes forward the idea of eloping to uluru almost as if to avoid further discussion about the fight itself.
but this time, that's not particularly where he stops: he addresses her question as well, just to find a fallback, an extra little bit of reassurance.
—"'See that tree over there? I'll be standing under it.'"
—"I follow Xavier's gaze. Nearby is a tree covered in red silk ribbons and wooden plaques by the bridge. 'So if I mess up the dance, you'll see everything, huh?'"
—"'I promise I'll forget about them after a good sleep.' His gaze remains on my face, appearing indifferent. Yet I sense a passion about to overflow. 'The only thing l'll remember today is your beauty.'"
FIRST OF ALL. "The only thing I'll remember today is your beauty." A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING LINE, BY THE WAY. IT GAVE ME LITERAL BUTTERFLIES I HAD TO PAUSE FOR A MOMENT. (1) more proof that in the end she's really all he cares about, (2) he's being unabashedly bold with his words again—no filter moment, but zero hesitation, (3) "i sense a passion about to overflow"? he's not being coy about this either, he's saying what he truly feels. he's opening up and expressing himself more, expressing his love for her more, and being genuine about it!
but also, in terms of additional comfort, it's a widely known tactic in states of panic to ground yourself by using your senses to register something familiar: you see something familiar to you, hear something familiar to you, touch something familiar to you, smell something familiar to you. such as, the ground beneath your feet. the air around you, the vague sound of chattering around you, maybe even the touch of your bag, or the fabric of your clothing, the window you know has always been there, etc. panic brings about a sense of derealization, and grounding yourself is usually the first step to calming down.
what xavier is doing now is offering the knowledge to her that he will be there. that she knows exactly where to look for him if she needs to during the dance. she has the opportunity to ground herself with his presence whenever she needs to.
(and again, it's a direct reflection of that line: "You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me.")
and it's exactly what she does.
though she ends up enjoying the dance and the crowd does block her direct view of the tree during the dance itself, she takes comfort in the fact that she knows he's there.
she trusts him; she doesn't need to see him to know that he'd there.
and then she thinks something beautiful:
"Engrossed in the dance's rhythm, my mind is strangely at peace. After all, I know there's someone in the crowd whose eyes are only on me."
once again, it goes back—his presence offers her comfort.
the first thing she does once she's received all the flowers is run to him, and he waits for her gladly. like he's always waited for her, like he always will wait for her.
"A lot of people wanted to give you flowers. I couldn't get past them, so I decided to wait for you here. Seems they're quite fond of you, just like me."
a note: the peach blossom
i figured this deserved a section on its own actually, particularly because the whole theme is this whole "flower goddess" thing... and in the beginning, we see mentions of the "goddess of daffodils" and the "goddess of peonies".
yet, we never really truly find out what mc's potentially assigned flower was—
the only mention of a flower that we do see, directly related to her, is when the little kid compliments her hair and places a peach blossom into her basket.
and while i wouldn't know if this means it's her flower or not, but the specific mention of the peach blossom is adorable, because in chinese floriography, the peach blossom represents love.
it's used in a lot of chinese literature and often associated with the arrival of spring—which, "according to the rites of zhou, the middle of spring is a period when men and women fall in love freely." therefore, a lot of chinese literature and poems also allude peach blossoms to romance, being that spring does as well. but, it's also associated with beauty: "after the wei and jin dynasties, beauties were portrayed in a more detailed way with words like taohua mian (peach-blossom-like face) or tao sai (peach-blossom-like cheek)." and there are other things it represents too, like prosperity, growth, and longevity.
when xavier gives mc the hairpin at the end, mc describes it as "pretty and adorned with pink flowers as if they are on a branch", and while not explicitly stated, i do believe that they are also peach blossoms.
whether or not that's the case, and whether or not the peach blossom was mc's flower (or maybe that it's just generally part of the festival), i think it's a really cute detail! i think it perfectly represents their growing relationship, and essentially the beauty with which xavier always sees her~
BUT, MOVING ON.....
v. the wish
the final stretch boils down to this.
"A gentle breeze stirs the wooden plaques hanging from the branches. A faint, melodic sound dances in the air. 'They say a Flower Goddess can bless people's wishes. And if the person making the wish is someone she favors, it's more likely to come true.'"
it's where the kindled moment falls, as xavier proposes for them to make a wish together.
and, mind you, this whole entire scene is ADORABLE AND LIVES RENT FREE IN MY HEAD ... the playfulness between their words, the "if i tell you my wish, it won't come true", the way xavier CARRIES HER??? AND THE WAY HE CATCHES HER WHEN SHE FALLS AND PINS HER AGAINST THE TREE AND AND AND AND.
everytime i think of it i end up keysmashing in my head IT'S JUST SO CUTE i could burn it into my head 😭😭😭😭
but, AHEM, he also says...
"Throughout history, humanity has always made the same wishes. Perhaps it's because those feelings we have... are timeless."
i think it's a really pretty line, but more than how pretty it is, i think it represents xavier perfectly.
xavier has lived long enough, and he's likely also made similar wishes along the way. for mc to be safe, for mc to be happy... things along those lines. and for him to describe that as "timeless" also represents his love for her—because it is timeless. he loves her more than anything else in the world. it transcends space, and time, and anything else; to him, she is love. she is timeless.
it's worth noting that everytime xavier and mc get scenes where they wish together, xavier never really says what his wishes are.
in "when shooting stars fall", mc wishes for many things. for xavier's freedom and happiness, for her to be healthy, for time to stop in their moment together... for xavier's freedom, xavier's happiness, and, in her final moments—"i wish to meet you in my next life." but he's never said explicitly what he wished for at all.
in "warm wishes", mc also mentions a lot of wishes:
"I wished I could pass all my tests with flying colors and go to a good university. I wished for Grandma to be healthy. I wished for my neighbor's cat to come home..."
and her actual wish that night was:
"l wish.... everyone can have snowflakes fall on their shoulders when they're lonely, and see the stars when they're lost."
yet that night, xavier didn't make a wish. he explicitly stated:
"l didn't make a wish. I want to save my wish for when I need it the most. Plus, everything I want right now has come true."
...but this time is different.
he did make a wish.
and, this time around, he specified what it is.
"I wish I can be your sanctuary until the end of time, in your eyes."
this is a wish that's important to him. he chooses to make this wish, and he chooses to tell her about it.
there's a lot to dissect in just one statement alone, because it's so imbued into the xavier that's loved her for thousands of years.... the xavier that has grown and developed into who he is in this moment.
a sanctuary is a place of refuge and protection; a place of safety. a place of comfort. a place of rest.
and multiple times throughout this card, it highlights how xavier has been able to offer mc a certain sense of comfort. even right when the results are announced, one look at him calms her down—this part really got me.
"I glance nervously at Xavier. He makes eye contact with me, and his gaze conveys a steadfast reassurance."
it's a recurring theme in the card—comfort. peace. the peace that you can find in someone. the safety that you can find in someone. in this case, mc with xavier, and vice versa.
...and i've always associated xavier with comfort, but peace and safety have been attributes i've been hesitant to associate with him, because it's different. for you to feel safe with someone, for you to feel at peace with someone, they need to communicate, as well, a certain sense of steadfast reassurance. xavier has always been soft and comfortable, but he hasn't always exuded that steadfast type of aura.
i think that this is something that he himself realizes.
i've mentioned it before, but his wish is also a direct parallel to That Line from lightseeking obsession.
"You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me."
yet there's also a striking difference.
what is different?
the person that he's developed into.
prince xavier, lightseeker xavier—as i mentioned earlier, there's a certain kind of confidence in himself that isn't present, and it shows. i would argue that he was at his most vulnerable that time, likely more vulnerable than when they first landed on earth, because he didn't know how to treat his relationships at all. he was too bound by the confines of what everyone, and i mean everyone, including mc at the time, wanted him to be. there was never clear communication with anyone, and it mostly seems as if he's been going through the motions—as opposed to more freedom that he's been granted on earth.
and it shows, because, that line in lightseeking obsession—does not exude confidence.
it's a comforting statement, sure...
but it's not even something that mc herself believes.
"you always lie."
it's as if xavier, as much as he's trying to comfort mc, is trying to reassure himself, too—he tries too hard to make himself appear reassuring to her that it falls short, all this on top of the times that she feels she's been let down by him.
it's ironic, almost. he says such a bold declaration despite knowing that there's a chance he wouldn't be able to keep it.
but this is different.
this time, xavier has grown to he sure of who he is and who he wants.
he said it in 21 days—"every version of me belongs to you, and only you."
yet despite the confidence that he now has in himself, notice how different this is to lightseeker's line—
he's wishing.
and he specifies that he wants it to be true in her eyes.
it's as if he's saying, i'm not sure if this is what you think about me, but i do know that i want it to be what you think about me.
he's not reassuring her; he's not making a bold declaration. he's not saying, you will think of me as a sanctuary. neither is he saying, i will be your sanctuary.
he's saying, i want to be your sanctuary.
the final decision falls to her.
the confidence lies in stating what he wants, and there's no fear in it—there's no hesitation, nothing that implies that he's scared to say it. he's confident in what he says, and either confident that she'll accept it, or confident that no matter what her choice is in the matter it's okay.
that's why this wish is so strong.
and it's mc who then says, at the end;
"I wanted to tell you that your wishes will always come true."
because she reciprocates.
and this whole moment, everything that happens from hereon—the results, the hairpin...
—"'If you meet a Flower Goddess you like, give her fresh flowers. It's a local custom here. But there are many people who admire you, and all of them have given you flowers. My flower wouldn't be special enough. So, I made a flower hairpin. This is the first time I made one, though. Don't judge it too harshly.'"
—"Xavier's hand is warm. Like petals being carried on the wind, his smile descends and touches my heart. 'What makes you say that? It's amazing. Besides, even if you just gave me flowers, they'd be the most special ones l've ever received.'"
it's worth noting that the scene where xavier gives the hairpin is also very much the same way he makes the wish. he does admit that he doesn't know if she'd appreciate flowers—but he takes it a step forward. he knows he wants to be extra special, he knows he wants her to have something she'll remember, so he does something different. he makes, and gives her, a flower hairpin. of his own accord.
it doesn't stop at his insecurities, which he still has—he takes those insecurities and spins them into something he can be sure of himself.
and there it is again.
the steadfast reassurance.
and it's what makes the moment so much more memorable to mc, so much more meaningful.
and it's why, then, he can say things like this:
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"No matter what happens, I'm always blessed to have someone by my side, who makes my gaze never feel alone."
"Forever is but a collection of moments strung together. With every minute comes another, second after second. When I open my eyes again, I want you to still be by my side."
it's in a way wherein xavier is able to take some lead in their relationship, because he's more sure of himself this time. and it progresses their relationship in a way that it wouldn't have if he never learned—he's learning. he's growing. and he's really truly turning out to be someone that can love with his whole heart, without holding back.
i think this card showcases that the most, and maybe that's why i love it so much <3
ALSO, P.S., ONE MORE PARALLEL—
xavier says that the flowers are blooming beautifully this season—"it smells like spring". in his lightseeker myth, he says: "With spring's arrival, hope is soon to follow."
and its just a neat lil thing, i think <3 spring is always so closely associated with xavier, and the card really does end on such a light and hopeful note.
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maespri · 6 months ago
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your turn to die characters ranked by how painful their death was (and why)
okay. crazy title, i KNOW. but this was actually so interesting to talk and think about. at least for me.
spoilers ahead, and TRIGGER WARNING. this post is going to go into detail about each death. it’s going to get gory and upsetting. if you don’t think you can handle hearing about that, please keep scrolling!
everything is under the cut, because this post is LONG, i'm warning you now.
some backstory: i have a special interest in anatomy and physiology, and i've always thought about how the different deaths in your turn to die worked. my wonderful friend @lovivelle and i talked about this topic extensively last night and they made this tier list with me! so, here's the ranking and explanations!
this ranking ONLY covers HUMAN deaths, because dolls/dummies do not feel pain.
quick glossary: exsanguination: death caused by bleeding out hemorrhaging: bleeding necrosis: cell/tissue death hypoxia: inadequate oxygen supply hypovolemic: loss of fluid in the body, often referring to blood or water shock: life-threatening condition where the body does not have enough blood circulating through it crush syndrome: medical condition where skeletal muscle is crushed for a prolonged time, resulting in shock and organ failure hematemesis: vomiting up blood hemoptysis: coughing up blood TBI: traumatic brain injury immolation: death by burning; being burned alive
the tier list:
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OUCH!! (most painful):
nao: nao's death involves her ribcage being crushed. i put her at number one for what i hope are obvious reasons. for starters, her death is drawn-out, making the pain last even longer. while her ribcage is being crushed, any internal organs are being crushed as well. her bones are probably splintering and breaking off and piercing her insides and organs. overall... just horrible pain. official cause of death: internal hemorrhaging and irreparable damage to organs.
kurumada: kurumada's death involved being crushed (between two walls), which is similar to nao's. i would put their pain levels as being equal to each other, but kurumada's has the potential to have been less painful than nao's, because we don't know how quickly the walls crushed his body. if they were moving slowly, the pain would've been drawn-out and agonizing, and in that case, i would make the argument that his death was more painful than nao's. but if it was very quick, he would've just felt blinding pain in his entire body for a few seconds before it would end. we do have to keep in mind that kurumada is clearly quite muscular however, which probably provided some resistance against the walls, but only served to draw out his pain even further. official cause of death: muscle necrosis, internal hemorrhaging, and irreparable damage to internal organs due to crush syndrome.
either way, both definitely experienced, in my opinion, the most painful deaths in the game.
YOWZA! (very painful):
mishima: mishima's death results from his collar slowly heating up and burning his neck until his head disconnects from it. i don't even have the words to describe how painful this would be. the fact that the collar heats up slowly and it is drawn out only makes it worse. if you've ever burned yourself before anywhere on your body, you know how painful it is. imagine that pain centralized around your neck. mishima might have the fortune of his nerves being burned off after a certain amount of time, which would mean he wouldn't feel anything (think third-degree burns burning through to muscle, tissue, and nerve endings). but at that point, because the burning is around his neck and your neck contains- A) your spine/spinal cord and B) your trachea, which allows you to breathe- anyway and burning it in half would definitely kill you, he may be dead before he even has time to not feel any pain. either way, this shit would hurt so bad. official cause of death: cerebral hypoxia due to decapitation.
hinako: hinako technically has two deaths, but we ranked her based off of her being drilled. a lot of questions actually arose when my friend and i were talking about the drill deaths, because we don't know the speed at which the drills move. i mean, whether they're moving quickly or slowly, it would still obviously hurt- but the faster the drill, the quicker the death, which would make it less painful. being drilled would be unbearably painful for the sole fact that she might be alive for a lot of the drilling until it reaches any vital organs. no matter what, it'd be very painful. official cause of death: hard to say for certain, but would most likely be from exsanguination... y'know, from her body being split in half by a giant drill.
kugie (kanna's sister): my friend and i were FLOORED when we looked into kugie's death. in the game, i don't think we get a canonical answer specifically as to how she dies, but in the manga, we do. kugie and kanna have the same first trial as joe and sara, but they don't succeed. in it, kugie's bed literally snaps and essentially folds her in half. in the image from the manga, we can see blood flying out from the bed (implying it happened very quickly, because if it were slow, the blood would instead drip and flow), and kugie's hand sticking out between the two slabs of the bed. i think this death is the most painful out of the entire "YOWZA!" category because kugie was probably alive and in immense pain for at least a few seconds or even minutes after the bed snapped. if i had to speculate official cause(s) of death:
i would guess her lumbar vertebrae (basically the bottom discs of the spine) and spinal cord snapped, cutting off sensation and sending her into shock.
if she was folded in half, her legs would have quickly shot up, meaning her torso was likely unnaturally slammed into by both them and the bed, and sustained massive trauma. this would cause internal hemorrhaging and damage to her organs.
the blood spurting out of the bed was likely from her head. i'm a teenage girl, likely the same height or around the same height as kugie, and when i bend in half, my face is level with my knees. knowing this, her knees probably slammed into her face and broke her skull, causing a TBI.
the combination of all of that would have first caused terrible pain for, like i said, at least a few seconds or minutes- we don't see how extensive the damage really was, so i can't say for certain... but yeah.
aughhh (painful):
joe: joe's death is really interesting to think about, because upon first glance, you might think it's one of the most painful- but there are a few things i considered with him. his death is a result of wrigglers draining the blood out of his body. because we don't know how large the wrigglers are, i can't say how painful it would be when they enter his body- but i'd have to guess they're on the smaller side, like little tubes, because if they were big, they would have difficulty sucking out his blood due to how small blood vessels are. it would hurt horribly to have the wrigglers enter his body and drain the blood. we don't know if they moved around through his blood vessels- if they did, that would definitely exacerbate the pain- or if it was more just like getting blood drawn. but what i considered with him, the thing that makes his death less painful than the others, is the fact that he would probably pass out long before he's even fully dead. the amount of blood he's losing at such a rapid pace would first make him dizzy and disoriented before he just... passes out. his entire body would start shutting down very quickly and he wouldn't even be awake for it. his body would give up on transporting blood to the extremities and non-vital organs and shift only to transporting what little blood it can to keep vital organs running. when that blood runs out, the heart will stop being able to pump enough blood throughout the body and to the brain, and joe would actually be dead. so... yeah. official cause of death: hypovolemic shock resulting in organ failure.
shin: shin dies after being fatally injured by the death game's security system. while it's unclear exactly how the security system killed him, i believe he was stabbed/impaled somehow. there are a few questions regarding exactly where he was stabbed, but i assume he was hit somewhere in the torso because he has blood coming out of his mouth. if you don't know:
blood coming out of the mouth can be a result of haematemesis (vomiting up blood), which is where blood wells up in the stomach/digestive tract due to trauma in that area
it can also be a result of haemoptosis (coughing up blood), which results from being stabbed in the lungs/trachea due to trauma in that area
my guess is he was stabbed in the stomach, because if he were stabbed in the lungs, he'd be coughing and frothing at the mouth struggling to breathe. if i'm remembering correctly, he's also shown to be clutching his abdomen after turning on the joe AI, so... my money is definitely in the stomach.
which, you guessed it, would hurt. a lot. and there's no workaround. he's strong enough to drag himself to the rubble room and turn on an AI before dying. he would've been in blinding pain that entire time before dying.
official cause of death: exsanguination.
reko: reko technically has three canonical deaths, which made her hard to rank. i'll cover them all.
strangulation (hanging by collar): being hung is painful, but i think people underestimate how terrifying it is too. reko would have been terrified and in immense pain for a few minutes before dying. everything in her neck would be getting crushed and pressed on by the collar thanks to gravity. overall... awful death. official cause of death: cerebral hypoxia due to strangulation.
stabbed: same as what i said for shin. terrible pain for however long until she ultimately bleeds out. official cause of death: exsanguination.
fake-reko falling headfirst onto a spike: this one's... interesting! mainly because i think she would actually just be dead instantly. if the spike pierces her brain, she won't even really have time to process "ow!" before just. being dead. official cause of death: severe TBI resulting in death.
owie (painful, but not as painful as others):
q-taro: q-taro is stabbed in the back by mai and slowly bleeds to death over the course of the chapter. the reason i put him so low is because he would definitely be in some pain, but i don't think mai stabbed him very well (no offense girl). he's able to walk around, talk, and do stuff with the others after being stabbed, at least for a little while. it's difficult for me to pinpoint what exactly killed him because of this. i'd imagine his body began repairing the stab wound in his back, but ultimately, blood loss and the disruption to everything surrounding his spine (because mai stabs him in the back) is probably what killed him. depending on how deep mai's knife was, the blade may have even pierced or grazed internal organs such as q-taro's heart or a lung. his body probably put most of its focus on keeping his internal organs running whilst simultaneously trying to repair them, which tired him out over the course of the chapter, before it ultimately couldn't keep up with the amount of blood being lost. a hasty bandaging job using an office first-aid kit is not ideal for stab wounds.
*edit: this person corrected me regarding q-taro's death! i still think the severity of his injury could have killed him before the coffin cremation system actually killed him, plus the information is interesting, so i'm keeping it. but technically, being burned alive is actually what killed him. ouch.
official cause of death: exsanguination OR immolation.
kai: kai's death is kind of up in the air in terms of the specifics, but we know he kills himself during the first main game by cutting his arms. in order for this to kill him, and for him to have bled out as fast as he did, he likely cut his axillary and/or brachial artery. your brachial artery runs down the front of your bicep and is an extension of your axillary artery, which is in your upper arm/armpit. if kai cut deeply into both his brachial arteries, and/or his axillary arteries, he would bleed to death very quickly. it would be really painful, but i think adrenaline and the probability he'd pass out immediately would certainly be on his side here, making it at least a little less painful. either way, he dies quite fast, so. official cause of death: exsanguination.
uncertain (i'm not sure!):
this category is for the characters who have one or more variables that make it difficult or impossible to determine how painful their death was.
kanna: first of all, the way kanna dies is impossible in real life. lets just get that out of the way. you cannot have flowers sprout out of your body. that immediately makes it impossible to tell how painful it would be for her.
if i were to suspend my disbelief for this, however, here's what i have to say about it:
safalin says kanna is numb during her death, which would instantly give her a pain rating of zero. kanna is screaming during her death, but given what safalin says, that doesn't necessarily prove she's in pain. she could just be screaming out of fear.
if she weren't numb, yeah, she would be in a lot of pain. flowers and vines growing out of your body, poking out of your skin, running through your insides- that would hurt insanely bad.
but the fact that:
this death isn't possible in real life
kanna is presumably numb during her death
we don't specifically know how the seeds are working/moving inside her body
kind of made it impossible to rank her.
if i had to guess a cause of death, i'd guess severe disruption by the vines to her internal organs and processes is what ultimately killed her.
hayasaka: hayasaka's head is presumably cut off by a swinging axe. there are two reasons we put him in 'uncertain'; we don't know how sharp the blade of the axe is, and we don't know the velocity it's swinging at.
if the blade is swinging slowly and is very dull, it would take a few swings to fully cut off hayasaka's head, which would make it incredibly painful.
but if the blade is swinging very quickly and is super sharp, his death would be instantaneous, making it essentially painless.
so it's difficult to say, but either way:
official cause of death: decapitation.
ranmaru: ranmaru's death is in 'uncertain' because we
don't know exactly how that happened to his stomach
hear him talk about how he's numb to it
don't know how long he's been sitting there
i imagine he was in some pain and just putting up a front, but we just don't know for sure. and like i just said, we don't know what specifically killed him or how. we just see a wound in his stomach.
probable cause of death: exsanguination/hemorrhaging.
anzu: anzu's was between 'uncertain' and 'so quick.' we see spikes piercing her body, but the angle makes it difficult to tell exactly where they pierce, or how sharp they are, etc. if the spikes didn't hit her face/brain, she probably felt intense pain for some time from the neck-down before rapidly bleeding to death. if the spikes got her head, she'd die instantly. so.
probable cause of death: exsanguination? TBI? damage to internal organs/processes?
ranger: according to ranger's wiki, his human form was stabbed by an assassin. not nearly enough information to rank him with certainty.
cause of death: stabbed?
so quick (too fast to be painful):
both mai and alice's deaths were so fast, they fell into this category.
mai: mai shoots herself in the head. her death would have been immediate and painless since she shot herself in the brain.
official cause of death: fatal TBI.
alice: alice's abdomen explodes. if that happens, you're probably going to feel a very brief flash of pain before immediately dying, because the damage would be so extensive (shrapnel exploded his stomach, but there was undoubtedly collateral damage to his heart, lungs, and other organs around there). he would have been in shock if he did somehow manage to survive for a few more seconds. pain would be minimal or nonexistent in my opinion due to the sheer severity of the injury. and in terms of him being hung in chapter 3, it's the same as reko.
official cause of death: shock resulting from traumatic abdominal injury.
thats it!
if you for god knows what reason read all this, thank you! i'm honestly only posting it kind of for myself and my friend to look back on if i ever want to think about it again, but maybe someone will find it interesting.
questions, comments, concerns (of which i'm sure there are many)- i'm an open book. i'm not a professional by any means, but i am insane. bye!
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blednokrov · 1 year ago
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I've been having lots of fun designing random OP fusions for a hypothetical AU where people can fuse... Feel free to drop a combo of any two Strawhats in my asks for me to draw a fusion of them (I'm only reading impel down rn so please no spoilers)
More on these:
Mickey (Nami + Franky) - ultimate Big Sibling fusion. She's very balanced in her sense of responsibility, desire to take other under her wing and general "fun but let's keep it sane and safe" vibe. One of favorite fusions of Strawhats as her appearance often means "supervised fun that is otherwise strongly off limits" and they just love her in general. Overall, Mickey's cool, fun and sexy (and not allowed in many public places because she only wears bikini swimsuits). He fights with electrocution.
Didja miss me? Well, now you can look at my pretty face all you want - we're gonna have so-o-o much fun~
U.V. or just Violet (Usopp + Vivi) - the big dreamer one. She is really sweet and emotionally open - probably one of most child-like fusions, but often gets timid and unsure when it's time for her to to stand up for herself. She loves fantasizing and excitedly ranting about all these ideas on how to make world a better place, but goes into very absurd territory without noticing. They fight with a sling and explosives.
No, wait, but listen. But what if The World Government, like, printed money so that everyone can have some, and- No, wait, i don't think this is how economy works. Okay, what if we all just...
Roro (Zoro + Robin) - arguably the most unhinged fusion of them all. With Robin's morbidly creative mind and Zoro's general disinhibition in most generally dangerous situations, Roro is pretty much unstoppable once he set his mind to do something reckless, dangerous and possibly really violent (as they both don't have any qualms about murdering or causing severe bodily harm). However when not in "focused on following through with an insane idea" mode, Roro is actually a rather pleasant company! They're calm, collected and thoughtful, yet shamelessly silly, especially with Luffy and Chopper who they adore. Most of the crew is rather cautious about them (except for Luffy who whines how he misses playing "multiarmed tags" with Roro) because they can cause much trouble without supervision. On the other hand, they're very strong. They fight combining swordfighting with generating extra limbs (which also means an arm slashing you with a sword can sneak on you from any direction).
Oh. I see. How about we send his head- okay, his fingers in a box to his captain as a warning?
Note: Luffy has the privilege of naming all fusions and usually just smashes names together until it sounds like an easy to remember name... Sometimes inner logic of how the name was made is lost even to him
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zepskies · 5 months ago
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The Boys S4: Is it just me or...
Okay, anyone who knows me knows I love this show. And I don't mean to be overly critical, but...there's something missing for me in season 4. 🤔
Episode 4 brought me back in a bit more this week, but I have thoughts and just wanted to get them out. Which of course you don't have to agree with, if you so choose to dive below the cut. 😂
So here we go! Highlights and lowlights (and **spoilers**): ⤵️
Sorry in advance for my slightly stream of conscious-style thought process.
Lowlights (so far):
Kimiko x Frenchie: Violently pushing down something you built up for 2.75 seasons? Because "being more than that/family" can also be romantic? Why do you hate the fans, Kripke? 😂
The political "satire" is getting a bit old for me. A lot of the same jokes over and over. However, the problem of taking out Victoria Neuman is a very intriguing conundrum (and Bob Singer sweating over it while trying to keep supes out of the military/law enforcement is keeping me hooked).
THAT Rob scene: lmfao come on now. This was for gross shock value and nothing else. Even the exploding dick and Love Sausage in S3 served a narrative purpose. (But I enjoyed the footnote commentary while watching it on Prime: Rob B. apparently wants to remind everyone that he's a Shakespearean-trained actor. 🤣) I’m actually more disappointed that he didn’t have a more meaningful role in the show, because he really is a fantastic actor and I was looking forward to seeing what his character would bring. (Not that lmao.)
Overall, the season just feels...emptier than seasons 1-3? Maybe that has to do with the lack of Soldier Boy's gravitas as a new antagonist, and connecting the entire narrative and various conflicts of the season -- all while shedding light on the grisly past of Payback, Grace Mallory, and Stan Edgar. Stormfront also brought that ante up in season 2 in a similar way, all while shedding light on Vought's sordid history with the creation of Compound V.
We're missing the layers here in season 4. Now, this could just be because we haven't seen the full season yet as well, but that's what I see so far.
I think it also has to do with the odd dynamic the boys side is in right now. With Butcher on the fringe of the group, and the others splintered off on their own side plots, it feels like the supes' side of things are more...for lack of a better term, "unified" in the narrative.
Which I realize is probably to reverse parallel the state of each side in season 3. But it just feels "off" to me somehow, since we're supposed to be just as invested in the boys side lol.
Highlights:
Butcher and Ryan: Butcher's doing his best there now, and it soothes my heart.
Ryan's slowly seeing the consequences of his choice to join Homelander. In fact, I'm wondering where Ryan is in episode 4. Hiding in his room?
The Khan Worm that appears to be inside Butcher is both frightening and intriguing. I wonder if this is the key to saving his life? Or just another lovely side effect of taking V24 long term. 🐛
JDM (Joe) and Butcher: All their scenes were golden. And that subtle John Winchester reference? Being willing to train up his son to be a killer? Being able to grieve at his son's funeral, knowing he "saved the world?" *Chef's kiss* 🤌🏽
(And if Butcher or Joe end up being the one to break Soldier Boy out of his cryo coffin, my fangirl heart will freak TF out. 🤣)
The way that Homelander is noticing his age is fucking hilarious. Bet you wish you had that life longevity from your father/sperm donor, dont'cha? 😂
But also the way Homelander "confronted" his past in E4 had some truly WTF/Holy Shit™️ moments, in a good way. As in, I'm once again afraid of this unhinged psychopath--kind of way. 😅
A-Train continuing to struggle internally with the place he's fought so hard to keep in the Seven, versus recognizing the evil around him, his own complicity, wanting forgiveness from Hughie, and wanting a true connection with others (namely his family).
It's interesting that Hughie's mom is being brought back in at this time. And even MORE interesting that she seems to be the one who gave her ex-husband Compound V. Her story of why she left her family seemed so normal that I actually got a little suspicious of her. But now, even more so. 🤨
M.M. doing his fucking best. (Except for the way he suddenly had a change of heart about Butcher in E4. Not sure about that one.)
Tilda effing Swinton voicing Ambrosius. PLEASE. My Queen. 😭🤣🤣
I actually had more lowlights before I watched episode 4. There were some really interesting moments that literally had me gasping in shock (this time in a good way), more so than in the first 3 episodes. However, I still think seasons 1-3 were stronger from the get-go.
But even with my lingering reservations, now I'm actually more so looking forward to getting into the meat of the season in this second-half coming up. 👏🏽
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harmonysanreads · 8 months ago
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Hi Harmony! I just noticed that your requests are open and I decided to drop by with a small request I thought about for weeks.
I was thinking about Arlecchino for a while, and it made me ponder of the concept of Arlecchino with a darling on a reincarnation AU. Maybe Arlecchino has met her darling at such an inconvenient time, and every time that it has happened, only she remembers their past lives.
It probably goes to the point that Arlecchino starts devising ways to be able to keep her darling safe, because each time they would meet, her darling gets into an accident... And it would seem that each time she tried, then it would simply fail. And it would push to a point where she resorts to one of the more not so morally good methods.
I don't know if this counts as a req. or a brainrot, but I offer you this idea because I think it could be interesting to think about sometimes. You're free to deny it btw if its typical, hard, or overall you can't write it <3 I completely understand if that's the case.
(p.s.: this is the one running @yxstxrdrxxm BAHAHAHAHAHA I'm sorry if I haven't replied to your message during OLC, I dont know how to talk to you w/o sounding really awkward </3 also!! hydration check! Anyways thats all, have fun with the idea + I hope you have a great day Harmony :D)
Pantomime Of The Night
yandere!arlecchino x reader
cw(s) : yandere, vampire!arlecchino, mentions of blood, murder, slight gore, non-consensual touching, unbalanced power dynamics
wc : 2.1k
a/n: omg hiii! would you believe me if I said I was just thinking about you before getting this ask? also please don't worry about my message! i had a hunch that you might be in a situation of sorts. thank you so so much for requesting arlecchino because i've been itching to write for her for a long time! i decided to go with vampire!arlecchino for this because i thought it'd suit the reincarnation theme well. i hope you enjoy it<3
lovely illustration based on this fic by a lovely person <3 (spoiler alert!)
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At the deepest hours of the night, even the innocent crackles of hearthfire sound as clamorous as gun-shots.
You're dazed by the flame's continuous dance until the aroma of freshly brewed tea reaches your senses and the servants have left. A sharp clank from Arlecchino's glass and the weight of her gaze prompt you to meet her eyes. The light from the fireplace casts shadows on the other half of her fair face, she seemed to have foregone her usual taught posture in favor of a relaxed one. One of her hands supports her cheek while the other holds the wine glass, the beverage within sloshes as the claw-like accessories on her fingers curl around the object.
Your side of the table is far more decorated, desserts that you've never even seen in your impoverished mortal life and that tea you've grown fond of over the course of your stay in her mansion sit appetizingly. All beckon you to feast, all seek to fan the flames of voracity and you offer but a thoughtless stare in return.
The master of the house seems to have noticed your lack of appetite as she finally breaks the stretched out silence, “These are all confectioneries of the highest quality from the town and as I recall, all of your favorites. But you give them no more than a blank stare... you've also not taken a sip from the tea. May I inquire why?”
The raspy tone of her observation has your arms covered in gooseflesh, though, you note she does not sound as confused as her words suggest. You can feel her onyx eyes gloss over every part of your person, inspecting and dissecting each and every visible clue. You swallow dryly, “It’s just that it's way too late in the night,”
“Yet you look as ready as ever to head out. Tell me, have you been anticipating my return, dearest?”
Arlecchino stares pointedly at your attire, likely referring to the traveling clothes you have on instead of the silk nightwear that she had gifted. Your shoulders tense unconsciously, there's something about the way she speaks at this instance that has your heartbeat crescendoing. The silver haired woman gives you a few more beats of anxiety, her talons scrape against the dainty glass.
“I’ve been informed that you have not eaten anything since yesterday.”
The words escape her painted lips easily, but they don't fail to send a jolt through your system. Throughout your stay, she'd never spoken to you like this, like you were one of her children who did not know better and decided to cross a line. That realization renders you further puzzled, you did nothing wrong to begin with, but her tone made you feel as though you were on the verge of doing so. You clear your parched throat and gather yourself to meet her eyes. This time, you do not allow yourself to wilt at the force of her burning stare.
“Arlecchino, I have something to tell you.”
The addressed woman straightens up at your sudden serious tone, her hand abandons the wine glass on the table and you inhale involuntarily at the scratches that now decorate the object, “I’m all ears, dearest.”
Your brows crease, as usual, Arlecchino is courteous, too courteous for someone who makes it obvious she's informed of something that she wasn't supposed to know. She's been like this ever since you and your travel-partner stepped foot in her ambiguous estate. Initially, you were touched by the hospitality she and her adopted children had shown you. Your greed lulled any arising suspicions, you neither questioned why she'd been so generous to a commoner with nothing more than fifty mora to their name nor did you bother to think about how she was affording all those gifts. You naïvely wished to believe in her kindness and that nothing was wrong about this house. But of course, self-woven deceptions last so long.
“Before you mistake me for being ungrateful, I did plan to inform you before leaving. Me and my friend are extremely thankful for the care your house has shown us, but we cannot stay in one place forever.”
“Why not?” you halt at her abrupt question but she follows up before you could even part your lips, “Have we lacked in any area to provide you with the adequate comfort? Have any of my children said something? If it's the latter, I'll apologize in their stead, they can be quite playful at times, I'm sure you understand.”
You stare dumbfounded at the sudden turn this conversation has taken, she wasn't supposed to behave like this. Why is she searching for a reason to make you stay when she should've been happy that a burden was about to be lifted off of her shoulders? Are all nobles this pushy?
“I—” you cut yourself off as the silver-haired woman leans in without warning, her shadow envelopes the delicacies laid out on the small table.
“Or… have you seen something?” she drawled.
You cannot hold back a flinch this time. A curse echoes in your mind at your stupidity, this was no ‘conversation’ to begin with ; this was yet another trap and you'd willingly played right into the palm of Arlecchino's hand. If there's one thing you've learned about this mysterious noblewoman, it is that she enjoys the process of dragging answers out of everyone. From the very beginning, she was aware of your scheme but, she chose to wear that mask of courtesy one more time and lured you out in the open, unguarded. If only your friend arrived to fetch you from your room at the right time, you wouldn't be in this messy situation.
Your eyes dart from her unblinking expression to the sharp accessories that adorn her gloved fingers and something about them forces you to reply quickly.
“No! I mean, you know that I'm a traveler, do you not? It's already been six months since we came to your estate, me and my friend were starting to.. crave that adventurous thrill—yes! We were starting to miss being on the road and decided to depart in the early morning.”
Once upon a time, your late mother had told you that some people in this world are like spiders. They're always at the centerpiece of their lair, leaving intricate translucent webs for unassuming prey to get tangled upon. Although the croaked warnings of your bedridden mother did not make much sense to the younger you, you understood now exactly what she meant.
“Incorrect. You were planning to escape with that friend of yours, weren't you?”
The hearthfire burns bright, shrouding Arlecchino's expression in shadows. The chilling octave of her voice defeats the warmth of the fireplace and has every muscle in your body stiffened. Escape? Her word choice never ceased to baffle you throughout this faux tea-party. She speaks as though you were her prisoner instead of a guest. She tilts her head and has the audacity to look betrayed as though you were a possession she held dear, and not a random human she decided to take pity upon.
Arlecchino runs a hand through her silvery hair with a sigh that actually indicates ennui and you bite back a scowl, “Honestly, I do not understand why you even befriended that thing. He's an obnoxious blabbermouth with a nose bigger than his brain. And he's loud, too. You've always preferred to mingle with level headed people with a sufficient intellectual capacity in the past and here you are, glaring at me as though—”
“Don’t speak like you know me!”
You pant after the force of that outburst, your voice ricochets across the walls of her room and further beyond. You open your mouth to continue but stop when you notice a strange flicker in the silver-haired woman's eyes. It's gone in a blink and is replaced with irritation just as quickly however.
“Oh, but I do know you. I know you better than you know yourself, in fact. I know that there are exactly 11 moles throughout your body, I know all your preferences and fears. Don't believe me? Did you really never stop to question how I managed to give you things that catered to your tastes? How I knew what you desired even before you did? Or were you so mesmerized by the words of that friend of yours to pay minimum attention?”
If the tone of a person's voice could kill, you'd be rotting in a ditch by now. You would've never believed someone could sound this malicious while not even raising their voice. You want nothing more than to shrink away but the adrenaline accumulated through your anger pushes you to keep digging your grave.
“And so what if that's exactly how it is? You have no right to have a say in who I choose to be ‘mesmerized’ by!”
A ‘ha!’ laden with disbelief escapes Arlecchino's lips. Fine silvery strands bounce at the mocking tilt of her head, “So what will you do now? Walk out of the gates with that waste of space like nothing happened?”
“Oh, you bet I will!” you fume, rising from the chair and turning on your heels. You barely take one step away from the table until the full weight of Arlecchino's malice crashes down on you and you remember something important.
“Arlecchino, where is my friend?”
The silver haired woman leisurely raises her wine glass at your stilted words, “In my glass.”
You swivel towards her, blinking several times as if to confirm you didn't mishear.
“Well, here and… probably in the stomachs of my pet vultures, excluding the carcass, that is. I'll admit, the taste is subpar compared to the trouble I went through. That thing kept on screaming until one of the vultures tore its heart out. Ugh, my ears are still ringing.”
Your wide eyes tremble towards the glass in her hand, the deep red liquid within sloshes to the direction of Arlecchino's hand ; paired with her words, your friend’s destiny becomes a no-brainer. All your wits abandon you in that instance and in a moment of sheer panic, you take a step back. Arlecchino promptly interferes with your plans, the door and windows close with no little sound and the table and your chair disappear without a trace—all in the snap of her fingers.
“What are you?”
You would've screamed if you didn't forget how to use your lungs. But then again, you doubt anyone would come to save you from her clutches even if you did. Your eyes connect to her onyx ones and in that moment, she appeared far less human than she'd been this whole encounter. Her pupils flash as two red xs and you feel an invisible pull tugging you to her side. The temptation dominates any coherent thoughts until you find yourself an arms length away from her seated self. Her claws dig into the flesh of your arm and yank you to her lap.
Free from the haze of that strange sensation, the first thing that permeates your senses is how cold Arlecchino's proximity is. Your palm meets her chest in a feeble attempt to push her away but all it does is stun you when you notice the absence of a heartbeat. You feel the sting of something sharp on your chin and waist, your eyes glance back and forth between the sources—dread pools in your stomach. Because of your closeness and the light from the fireplace, you're able to see that the sharp objects you'd mistaken for accessories are actually her nails and the gloves, her real skin.
Perhaps your trembling was so pitiful that Arlecchino could not help but soften her gaze, “Do you truly not recall?”
You look up at her, thoroughly perplexed. There's that previous glint in her eyes again but you've already accepted that understanding this woman was beyond you. One moment she accuses you as though you've been unfaithful, then she vividly describes how she murdered an innocent man and the next she looks almost… hurt?
“Recall what?”
The silver-haired woman’s red lips part and you gulp as unnaturally sharp fangs sneer at you. Albeit, she does not answer you and you wonder if you should get accustomed to playing mental gymnastics with her just to get a simple answer. Her talons let go of your waist and drag their up to your collarbone, creating a deliberate and irrepairable tear on your clothes. Her nails drum against your skin for three seconds before they latch onto your throat.
“Although, that'll no longer be an issue.”
She forces you to make eye-contact with a sharp tug on your chin, the color drains from your face as her cool breath washes against your skin. You open your mouth to say something, anything, but are quickly shushed as you feel her fangs sink into your lower lip.
“Because, we'll have ample time to get acquainted with each other starting from today.”
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bloominglegumes · 5 days ago
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judging earthspark s3
contains spoilers!!!
(my own opinion + not that serious :))
not in order bc i sketch-wrote these down while watching first but guys im so im so .head in hands
-15 pts for the character development, relationships, ideas, etc set up in s1 that were thrown out in s2 and s3. war trauma, immigrant experience, ghost aftermath, individuality, healing process, autobot guilt, byebye. so much character assassination still happening
+1 for following through i guess
+1 shockwave 'all are dead' comic cover reference and having him react to it
+5 every appearance of frenzy and laserbeak. theyre professional hecklers i love them
-1 bc of how the art direction was already established having 2d handdrawn effects but obv their animation has been toned down, there are quite a few instances of 3d smoke made to look like 2d shading which is not necessarily bad on its own but doesnt feel like it fits here
+1 rage virus had nice potential for bringing simmering resentments to surface,, wish the show delved deeper into the characters thoughts + fallout
-1 megatron's va sounds like he was given direction to hold back somehow on his delivery ?? idk it just feels like forced gentleness compared to earlier performance like his lines don't fit him
-2 animation lacking feeling of weight, movements are stiff, unnatural esp for huge guys made of metal. how in the world did twitch push megatron over
-2 fight choreo is more generic and plain,, characters tend to fight in similar ways when they wouldnt, considering different sizes, abilities, personalities etc,, everyone is just tossing each other around
-2 teasing us with breakbee and then actually setting it on fire and then killing bumblebee's personality too and while we're here thrash and mo as well
+1 escape room ep overall was kinda fun. i like the idea of leaning into twitchs big sister role but like u dont have to water down the others when highlighting one character?? the maltos are kids, but theyre not like.stupid
+1 optimus pushing megatron down to protect him and megs glancing down where optimus' hand is on him. someone in story room is pushing megop
+1 prowl being a skilled Hater on entrance
+1 "organics" (derogatory)
-1 optimus tells prowl that the war is over in defence of megatron but literally theyre fighting decepticons again two seconds later so make up your mind earthspark
-5 what are the autobots and decepticons even fighting for at this point? let's shoot them into space so we don't have to worry about that conflict anymore except megatron but he's our friend so don't think about that trust us this is earthspark our show was formed on the basis of being the aftermath of the war hasbro im going to kill you
+1 constructicon mention
+3 prowl being huggable and pickuppable (+1 optimus, +1 elita, +1 arcee)
+1 "terran thrash" "terran nightshade" "stygi-terran" "clan malto" can't tell me thats not objectively cute
+5 blaster feature
+2 megop being deeply embarrassing about robby's weird girlfriend
+5 dramatic megop fight. intense music, personal arguments, falling through the ice sinking to the bottom of the lake together, if i'm going down you're coming with me etc i love it
-1 grimmy not having a single speaking line?? am i tripping
+1 thrash throwing the hat perfectly onto prowls antler tip
-2 duller lighting and colours overall </3 my guy was seriously looking grey in ep 6..,.
+1 "romantic entanglements have hobbled many a soldier. ask optimus." thank u es writers
+1 "there are no implications. there are only facts." banger
+1 multiple pronouns used for the shapeshifting quintesson i just thought it was fun
-1 thrash's character being largely reduced to That One Kid
-1 might just be me but the whole plot with the fake girlfriend was just weird as hell ?? what purpose does it have in robby's character development,,,
-1 dot and alex being less compelling as caring responsible parents. like they're still nice,, but the way they've been written just feels less careful
-1 that movie and confession scene sorry i know it was on purpose but i could not handle the secondhand embarrassment
+1 mole-bots tbh i thought they were going to pull scraplets but they were fun
-4 starscream neglect. where is the justice. nothing but a silhouette all season and then finally all he does is go crazy and get pulled back to jail??wtf
+1 quintesson ship entrance
-1 generic character body language/performance
+1 weird al yankovic going so hard
+1 saving civilians
-2 quintus powers being suddenly able to save the day when they need it because plot
-2 how the chaos terrans are not written
-1 environments are sometimes not that fitting for the action taking place there?? like for the final fight i know theyd need a lot of space for the titan but seriously just a green grassy field and blue sky come on?? give us some artistry,..,.
-1 slightly weird voice effects for quintesson characters but that might just be me
+1 sharkticon pit plucked right out of g1 movie i love it
+1 mo being so polite "mr optimus" "ms elita" "mr prowl sir" sweetheart
+5 what the fuck do you mean "i appreciate you, megatron"
+1 hard confirmation prowl is a hugger
+1 epic titan fusion
+1 prowl being nice. dialogue with bee in that scene felt kind of in your face but it was cute
-1 arresting starscream. girlie was probably starving in there
+1 "little bird"
+1 i'm just happy to have an animated prowl having so much relevance to the main story again.tfa prowl i miss u every day
-2 tarantulas never being seen nor heard from ever again. he had an awesome design, fantastic voice acting, super well written just for hasbro to be cowards
-1 again for just dropping pretty big story points from season 1 for unclear reasons. like i said,, current state of earthspark works fine as a kid's show alone but after how mature and well-handled season 1 was it feels like watching the tv spinoff series to the actual thing. sorry but like zero integrity to the shows basis and values and what the original writing had set up for the world and the characters
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erinwantstowrite · 5 months ago
Note
Let me just quickly say, cross-overs can sometimes get REALLY difficult to map out and write in a cohesive way but you have absolutely NAILED IT!! I absolutely ADORE LoF!!! I usually don’t even bother reading fics with the ‘Richard Grayson is Richard Parker’ premise cause I felt like they were super confusing and overcomplicated but this fic?? SUPERB. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD I ADORE IT. Everyone’s characterizations are so nice and wonderful aaaaaaah!!!! <33333
Ok ok I did actually have a question as well: would you be willing to share what your writing process looks like in terms of a chapter you’ve already posted? I was just wondering since I’m also currently working on my own fic (it’s been a few years but I managed to get fixated on an idea and it grew legs lol) and I’m currently fighting the organization of it haha.
How do you keep track of the plot points and/or foreshadowing you want to get a ‘lightbulb!’ moment for later? Do you have any tips?
Thank you so much! I absolutely adore your writing AND your art is so gorgeous omg it adds so much to the incredible story :DDD I hope you have a good day!!
I have a secret: I actually didn't like "Richard Grayson is Richard Parker' tag for a while for the same reason. Sometimes they felt like they missed the mark or it's just. A thing that's there? I almost didn't include it for LoF, but I'm glad I did because it changed the direction in such a big way.
Another secret: this made me incredibly happy because I have read so many wikis and scoured the internet to make sure that I had enough info on both fandoms so LoF could make sense to anyone who's reading it, whether they know Spider-Man, Batfam, or neither at all. Sometimes I worry a lot before I post that I'll miss a mark and will confuse people.
As for the question: I definitely am willing to share what my writing process looks like!
Be prepared for under the cut, I love to yap. It's in my blood to yap. And that's why it took a minute to get to this ask haha
(Spoilers for Leap of Faith!! Everything mentioned has already been published ((Chapters 1-11))
I had to go and find out which chapter I wanted to use as an example and I think we're gonna go with Chapter 5 for the most part :)
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My writing process is, as described by alighterwood:
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I think the description fits because while I'm all over the place, I have to be very detail oriented and I store everything in one spot.
Starting with the overall process, what I find is most helpful for me, when organizing, is having a notebook rather than doing it all digitally. I've been using a 70 sheet notebook that I had lying around waiting to be used, and as of yesterday, I officially filled the entire thing front to back. It's been an incredible help, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it's a lot easier to remember something I physically wrote down than it is to remember something I typed. I'm now on to my second notebook for LoF, and I might even have to get a third.
In another ask, startupkat asked me this:
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And I shared a little about my outline process there, but I'll try to go into a little more depth here. Emphasis on little because this is so long.
I write a truly insane amount of outlines in this notebook.
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This is just what I can show you, but a good chunk of the notebook is just outlines. Over and over and over again. That's because they're always changing/adapting based on so many different factors. Sometimes I get to a chapter I thought I had fully planned out and then realize it just doesn't work anymore. Other times, I get to the chapter and realize I don't want to write that anymore/isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. A few times I got halfway through a POV of a scene I was struggling on and decided to switch POV's, which will change up the outline for a chapter every now and then.
Which is why I don't write incredibly detailed outlines and try to keep it vague until I actually get to that chapter. It's a lot less daunting to rewrite a chapter outline than it is to rewrite the entire outline.
Fic outlines and Chapter outlines look a lot alike.
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This is what I said in the other ask, but I didn't elaborate on it all the way.
I make a list just like that, and then I try to put it in chronological order/in an order that makes sense. I keep the Fic outline vague by writing down "Goals" for a chapter rather than scenes. But I also keep notes to myself if I really think something is important. The more important I think a scene needs to be, the more details I write down to make sure my future self recalls what I had in mind when I thought it up.
Really simple example:
Chap 1 Goal: Peter gets to Gotham and meets Babs while running around. Meet Nightwing too? Get shelter.
Chapter 2 Goal: Bats are like "???" about Peter. Batfam dynamic important... Peter stalking Batfam back? Peter meet Batman >:)
When I get to a chapter, that's when I make a far more detailed list of wants/needs/goals. It's the Step 2 from the Step 1. Here are some examples from Chapter 5:
Needed to have:
More POV's from universe 1299 (Peter's home universe)
Tony's POV more specifically, how he's doing/feeling, what he's figured out
What they've figured out on 1299 side vs what's going on in 1300 (Gotham)
Explaining more about Peter's trauma/his past
Dick learning more about Peter, and vise versa
Wanted to have:
Ned being a more central character
Natasha :)
Loki being a little shit
Tony and Cap bickering
Peter talking to Nightwing again
The last name Grayson
Gymnastics!!
(This is the shortened list, because the chapters are so long)
When I looked at this list before writing my outline, I had to figure out how I could incorporate everything. If I needed more 1299 POV's, and I wanted Ned, Natasha, and Loki, there's one scene accounted for. I had to get their side of things and wanted that trio together. I needed a Tony POV, and I wanted Tony and Cap bickering, so those went together, plus I got 1299's POV of Ohnn and his plans explained.
I needed to have Peter explaining more about his trauma, and Dick and Peter to talk/get closer. I wanted a Nightwing POV, to have Peter say his last name, and them doing gymnastics. I knew Peter wouldn't willingly talk about that, so I had him have a nightmare. Not only did it give readers perspective but it made Peter more susceptible to talking to Nightwing because he was more emotionally vulnerable/lonely, and that's how that scene came together.
That's when I would write down the chronological order of these events by writing out "Scene Blocks." (This is what I wrote down but my handwriting was so bad I can't subject y'all to it):
scene 1- Ned talking to Loki. Natasha should be nearby and observing Loki's behavior. They are not on friendly terms. Ned is more worried about Peter than he is as to what Loki could be up to, so Natasha takes on that role.
scene 2- Tony is freaking out about Peter being in an alt dimension. He should attack Ohnn when he's not prepared for it. Beat his ass? Beat his ass. Cap there too.
scene 3- Peter's nightmare. "Ben, where do you go when you die?" "Where do you think?" "With you. Where you went."
scene 4- Nightwing and Peter.
Of course, things come to attention when writing. Like originally, Tony and Cap were arguing in the Tower. But it was a little too much like his and Natasha's argument, and I kept in mind that Tony is smart. Sometimes I forget that the characters are smarter than I am, so I have to account for what they would figure out. So Tony would have picked up the puzzle pieces and come to more conclusions than I originally thought about, and I figured he'd be way more proactive about it than just. Being in the Tower and waiting.
Which means that that scene ended up being as listed above: having a squabble with Cap, learning more about Peter's dynamic with the Avengers in this universe, and seeing how Tony is reacting to it by throwing himself head first into trying to capture Ohnn.
I'll realize I need something else to be mentioned or put in and I'll have to shimmy things around, but that's basically how it goes.
As for other forms of organization:
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Keeping a timeline is so important because it tells you a lot about the environment your characters are in. It's also important to remember what a character has on them, what money they've spent, who they've met/who you have mentioned, every alias that is being used, to read your work and write down edits you want to make before you make them, to write down ideas beforehand of situations you can use, and, most importantly: MAKE A MAP!! This has saved me so many times. Sometimes your brain WILL trick you or make it harder on you to envision a scene. Make a map of where your characters are physically!! It will save you too!!
As for foreshadowing and plot points, I'll let you in on yet another secret:
Your subconscious is doing a lot more than you think it is.
Sometimes when I foreshadow something, I didn't even know I was until I got to it. I very often go back to read chapters that came before this to see what I've mentioned and what I haven't, and when I do, I'll see something and go "I have to bring this back" or "I almost forgot about that!"
Other times, I am very aware of what I'm foreshadowing, and that's because I follow a mystery plot formula. You have to keep in mind everyone's intentions, all the time. How are they feeling? What are their motivations? And: what are they doing right now, while this character is doing this?
Like Beck and Ohnn. From the very beginning, I knew I had to make sure that it was obvious Ohnn wasn't working alone. From there, I had to weave through the story and slowly build him up as someone who's working behind the scenes. Even from Ned's first POV, I made sure to mention that this person knows Tony and is tech savvy.
My biggest tip is to make sure you reread your work or at least skip through it, because sometimes you don't even know that you placed something there.
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And sometimes, it's very purposeful. :)
I hope this helped! I really tried to keep it short but I am insane and the process is sooooo long. It sounds complicated but it really is simple when you're actually doing it I swear
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illegal-spiegel · 2 years ago
Text
You Take My Breath Away
Pairing: Dazai Osamu x gn!reader (x Chuuya Nakahara)
Genre: Fluff?, angst, hurt/comfort?
Warnings: this fic contains dark content. if you don't like that, please keep scrolling and dni. S2 spoilers, strangling (bloodshot and swollen eyes, bruised and sore throat, can't speak, etc.), murder/death, throat slitting, blood, Dazai is overly protective ig, toxic behavior overall, typical su!cide mention from Dazai
Summary: Dazai gets protective over you when you get hurt, on more than one occasion, and takes matters into his own hands to make sure they never hurt you again.
WC: 7.5k
Read on AO3!
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You giggle like a schoolgirl as Dazai tickles your sides, your face starting to hurt from how hard you’ve been smiling. That always seems to happen to you when Dazai is around. “Quit it!” you squeal, smacking at Dazai’s hands. 
Dazai only seems to chuckle and continue his evil acts against you. “Say the magic words!” he bargains. 
“Never!” you shout, leaning away from him and bumping into Atsushi who is sitting right beside you. He doesn’t seem to mind it though, he just watches you both with a fond smile on his face. “Atsushi! Help!” you cry, tears lining your eyes the longer and harder you laugh. 
“No one can save you now! You’re at my mercy!” Dazai shouts back, waiting for you to say the magic words that will rid you of his tickling. 
And listen. You tried to hold out, you really did! But you’ve known Dazai for more than seven years now and he knows all your most ticklish spots by now.
“Okay! Okay!” you concede. He slows his fingers but doesn’t stop them. “Dazai is the most handsome, funniest, smartest guy ever, and I smell like rotten eggs!” As soon as you finish, Dazai lets up. He stays hovering above you though from where you leaned away from him, a soft smile on his face. 
“Awe, you really think so?” he coos, fluttering his lashes at you. 
“No,” you wheeze, holding your poor, aching sides. “I mean yes! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” you screech, a scared laugh escaping you when he threatens to tickle you again. 
“Hm. That’s what I thought,” he says as he sits properly in his seat. 
You pant as you sit up straight as well, waving your hand at Atsushi as an apology. Then again, the little traitor didn’t even try to help you. “The train is sure taking a while,” the white-haired man suddenly comments. You hum, pushing your hair out of your face as you nod in agreement. 
You raise a brow as Dazai suddenly stands up, face blank and serious. “There’s an urgent errand I need to carry out,” he announces, staring out at the tracks in front of him. 
“What is it?” Atsushi asks with great urgency, seemingly nervous. You can’t help but smirk. You’d bet every last penny you own that Dazai is about to say some dumbass shit. 
“I need to use the bathroom!” he cries, hands going over his crotch as he starts to do a peepee dance. Atsushi’s face falls as he stares at the higher-up, unbelieving he just said that. You only end up cracking up, laughing as you watch him dance in one place. It makes your sides ache but in the best way possible. 
“Well? What are you waiting for? Permission?” you tease, smirking at the man. He continues to stare you down as he dances from foot to foot faster and faster. You snort and roll your eyes. “Okay, go,” you say playfully, waving him off. 
“Thank you!” he cries, zooming away. “Ah! I’m not gonna make it!” This causes you to snort again. You don’t know why he insisted on holding it for so long then. You look over at Atsushi and only laugh harder at how bewildered he looks. 
“You’ll get used to it eventually,” you reassure him, patting him on the back. He turns to look at you now, giving you a small smile. 
“I always thought Dazai was so cool and mysterious…but…” You raise a brow when he trails off, jumping to conclusions. 
“But he’s a bit of a dumbass?” you guess, chuckling. Atsushi goes tense, nervous about referring to his higher-up in such a way, especially since it seems that Dazai has ears everywhere. He glances at the way Dazai went before slowly nodding his head with a laugh of his own. 
“Yeah, something like that,” he agrees, his chuckles dying down when you both hear the train whistle a bit a ways. “Hey, can I ask you something?” he suddenly asks. 
“Yes, I’ll help you hide a body, but only if you killed them with good reason,” you respond, completely serious. At his flabbergasted look, you snort and nudge his arm with yours. “I’m kidding.” He relaxes. “Sort of.” You laugh when he tenses up again, his body relaxing when he realizes you’re just messing with him again. You and Dazai love pulling pranks on him together. 
Speaking of…
“How long have you and Dazai been dating?” 
Your laughter instantly dies and you feel choked up all of a sudden. “Wait what-”
“I mean, I figure it’s been a while. You two share your affection so openly and he’s always going on and on about you-”
“Wait what-”
“So I was just curious how long it’s been. You two seem really happy together.” 
At the last part, any reply you had ready to go suddenly dies on your tongue. You two seem really happy together. What the fuck are you supposed to say to that? You two aren’t even talking talking, let alone dating. Where did Atsushi get an idea like that? Have the others said something? Or is this a prank that Dazai is pulling on him and forgot to let you in on it? 
Before you can think of a response though, the train is arriving. You sigh in relief as you two both stand up and walk towards the train, looking left and right for Naomi and Haruna. 
“Haruna, Naomi!” you hear Atsushi shout. You turn to look at him before looking past him to see the two girls. You sigh in relief a second time, a smile coming to your face. Thank goodness. “Are you alright?” he asks when you get close enough to them. 
“We are. I never thought they’d come after the clerks in the office,” Naomi responds with a warm, relieved smile. 
“At least you’re safe now!” Atsushi says brightly. 
“Yeah, I’m glad you’re alright,” you agree, giving the girls a smile to which they return. “We’re gonna escort you both to the extraction point,” you add on. 
“Oh! I wanted you to meet someone!” You raise a brow at this, turning to look towards the train when Naomi motions towards it and turns to face it. “We got to know each other a little on the train.” With that, a small child comes walking out, holding a creepy doll. You raise a brow when he bumps into Atsushi and just starts laughing. Someone needs to teach this kid some manners…
Your brows furrow when the kid suddenly turns and rolls up their sleeve to show off…
What is that? 
Are those…razor blades taped to his arms? Alarm bells immediately start going off in your head. Something isn’t right here. 
“Wanna play a game?” the kid suddenly asks, a maniac grin on his face. 
Before you could respond, Atsushi starts mumbling to himself. You turn to look at him, finding his eyes are leaking what appears to be blood. “Atsushi?” you say unsurely, reaching out toward him. 
*
“You mentioned before that you came here to protect me…” Dazai says unsurely, trying to put the pieces together. When things suddenly click into place, he gasps before spinning to face the way he came. “Dammit!” he shouts before taking off. “No, no, no! Fuck!” he hisses, running back to you two. 
He swears, if Q has done anything to yo-
He comes around the corner only to find you being dangled in the air, Atsushi holding you up by your throat while growling and grunting. Dazai lets out a growl of his own as he sprints toward the man. He’s not thinking clearly. What should he do? 
He dashes past the two other women who seem to be harmed but overall fine. He wraps his arm around Atsushi’s throat and presses heavily on his windpipe. Now that he’s closer, he can see that your eyes are bloodshot and they’re starting to roll back into your head. How long has he been holding you like this? Why aren’t you using your ability? Do you not want to hurt Atsushi? 
To his horror, Atsushi ignores Dazai and continues to strangle you. Dazai doesn’t want to hurt him since he knows it isn’t actually him, but he’s running out of options. His eyes flicker this way and that way looking for a solution. 
This is when his eyes spot the doll. 
Dazai quickly lets Atsushi go before bolting toward the hideous toy, picking it up, and instantly screaming, “Ability: No Longer Human!” His power surges through the toy and he turns to find Atsushi snapping out of it. He gasps as he lets you go, your body hitting the ground hard. Atsushi grasps at his throat where Dazai had choked him. 
Dazai barely looks at him though as he hurries over to you. He lifts your body to cradle you in his lap, brushing your hair out of your face and his hands ghosting the marks on your neck. “(Y/n)?” he whispers, his whole frame shaking as he clutches you close. 
You let out a wet, ragged cough before slowly blinking your eyes open, tears cascading down your cheeks. “I-” you try to force out, but it seems you can’t make any further noise. 
“Shh, don’t try to speak. You might damage your vocal cords further,” he advises. He lifts his head and does a quick survey of the area. The other two ladies are indeed fine. Hurt, but fine.
But where’s Q? 
“Your new friends are so fragile, Mr. Dazai!” he whips his head around to find Q smiling at him on the train as it starts to shift forward. “But don’t worry! What I really look forward to is breaking you–whether that be through you directly or your new love here!” Q giggles and continues to grin at him maniacally. “Remember how you made me suffer? Soon you’re going to feel that pain, Mr. Dazai!” 
“And instead of capturing you next time and showing you mercy by simply ripping your heart out, I’ll torture you slowly and painfully until you're begging me to kill you,” he responds darkly with a sinister expression. Q had his mouth open to respond but goes quiet, eyes wide. He wasn’t expecting such a terrifying response for some reason. They stare at each other as the train takes Q further and further away.
You’ve never seen Dazai so angry before and you don’t even know why he’s so mad. The world sounds like it’s underwater, or like you have cotton stuffed in your ears. He isn’t mad at Atsushi, is he? It wasn’t his fault. You need to tell him that. 
You reach up and loosely grip the lapel of his coat, weakly tugging on it as you try to speak. All that comes out though is breathy whines and wheezes, words unable to be formed. He turns to look at you, his grip suddenly tightening on you. “Shh, I know. It’s okay. I’ve got you. It’s all over. Everything’s alright. I’ve got you,” he whispers, pressing his forehead to yours. You close your eyes, the last of your tears falling down your cheeks. He pulls back when you suddenly go slack in his arms, his eyes widening a tad when he realizes that you’ve passed out. He sighs and closes his eyes for a moment, cradling you close to his chest. That was close, too fucking close. 
“I'm such a screwup.” Dazai opens his eyes and turns to look over at Atsushi, finding the man crying as he stares at the marks blooming on your neck. “That should be me, not them. I shouldn’t even be alive. I don’t deserve to be alive…”
Dazai doesn’t know why, but hearing him talk like that angers him further. Yes, it should be him hurt instead of you. It should be Dazai. It should be any of them but you. You should never be hurt. You weren’t even supposed to come with them today. 
Dazai watches for a moment as Atsushi pathetically cries and blubbers on about who knows what. Dazai slowly and gently sets you down on the concrete before moving in front of Atsushi. “Atsushi,” Dazai grunts, frowning down at the man. 
Atsushi lifts his head, his eyes red from his crying. Before Atsushi could even blink, Dazai is slapping him across his face. Hard. “Pull it together. They wouldn’t want you talking like that,” he mumbles before instantly turning back to you. They need to get you back to HQ stat. 
* When you wake up, you feel like your throat was run over by a motorcycle. And then they reversed over it again just to make sure they got the job done. Your hands shakily come up to gently clutch your throat, your vision a little blurry until you blink a few times. Even then though, things are still a little blurry out of one of your eyes. 
You try to move your head only to be met with pain in your neck. You slowly take a deep breath, finding it a little hard to breathe, before trying again. You take your time in sitting up, making sure not to move your head or neck too much. Your eyes go wide when you see a head of brown hair on your bed, and a chair keeping him close. You smile and slowly reach over to card your fingers through his hair. 
You barely get to do so though since he’s suddenly springing up. You gasp and rear your hand back from the shock, hissing when it causes you pain. “You’re awake! Woah! Stop! Okay!” he screeches, going into panic mode when he sees your face contort into one of pain. You weakly laugh, it sounding nothing like your usual laugh. This one is all scratchy and hoarse, your throat sore and dry. Your laughter quickly stops when it becomes too painful. 
“Wait! Okay! Everyone remain calm!” he continues to shout even though you two are the only ones in the room and he’s the only one panicking. You smile hard. “You want some water? Never mind, you need to drink some. You’ve been out for a while.” And with that, he’s zooming off to assumedly get you some water. 
You’re not alone long before he’s back, offering you a glass of water with a stick poking out of it. You take the stick out to see a sponge at the end of it. At your bewildered look, Dazai explains, “Akiko said that you might not be able to drink very well, so the sponge will give you smaller amounts to drink and make it easier to swallow.” You smile at him and nod your head before starting to do just that. Your throat aches with each swallow, but the water feels good. 
Dazai suddenly grabs something from the desk beside you and sets a notepad and pen in your lap. “I want you to use this instead of trying to talk, okay?” he says softly, hand resting on top of yours for a moment before letting go. You nod your head and hand him the water before picking up your pen. 
Where’s Atsushi + the others? They okay?
You hold up the notepad for him to see, watching his eyes flicker over the words. His face hardens for a moment, just a split second, before relaxing again. He huffs out a laugh as he says, “Of course that’s the first thing you say.” He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, they’re alright. They’re all resting. It was a crazy day.” You nod your head, letting out a small sigh. Is Atsushi really okay? “You can see them soon enough. Akiko and I agreed that you need your rest and shouldn’t have any visitors until you’re better.” 
You raise your brow at this. Then why are you here mister? You turn the notepad for him to see, smirking at him. Your smirk only grows when you see some color come to his cheeks and his eyes shift away from you completely. 
“I’m your hot nurse, of course. All patients need one,” he replies playfully. Despite his joke, your chest flutters at his kindness. You smile softly as you reach out to him, setting your free hand over his. He instantly flips his hand over to properly hold your hand, weaving your fingers together. “Besides, I told you that you can’t die without me. You’re the only one I’ll commit double suicide with,” he jokes further, smirking at you now. 
You let out a weak laugh and roll your eyes. Typical Dazai. 
It didn’t take long for you to be up and out of bed. Everyone knows that you never stay down for long, even if you have the worst injuries of them all. You hate being bedridden, especially when something like this is going on. 
Currently, you’re looking over some files of what’s been going on while you were out of commission. The Guild are some serious bad guys, and that’s coming from someone who used to be a part of the-
“I really don’t feel like working.” 
You lift your file a bit to look down into your lap where Dazai has made himself home. His face is smushed into your tummy and his butt hangs high in the air. You smile at the position. He’s such a dork. 
“Are you seriously going to mope around like this the whole morning?” You look up to find Kunikida there. You smile up at him and his hard expression relaxes when he sees your cheery face. “Good morning, (Y/n). How are you feeling?” 
“Right as rain, Kida!” you greet. At your chipper voice, Dazai whines and wiggles his ass in the air. 
“Any other time I’d be up for having this conversation with you, but not now, please,” he whines, shoving his face further into your body. 
“What happened to the energetic young hero who just helped save this town from the brink of destruction?” Kida asks in a monotone, crossing his arms over his chest with a sigh.  
“Boss has me lined up for this new job and I don’t wanna,” Dazai cries, giving a fake sniffle, causing you to roll your eyes. Dazai continues to wiggle his ass in the air and you grin wickedly as you reach out to slap it. Dazai jumps with a yelp, turning his head a bit with his jaw dropped. “Kunikida! I didn’t know you felt this way,” he playfully purrs to the shocked man.
Kunikida’s cheeks go red as he huffs, his hands now placed onto his hips. “Is that the same one Atsushi and the boss were talking about yesterday?” he asks curiously, completely ignoring Dazai’s comment.
Before anyone can respond though, the boss man himself is suddenly appearing behind Kida. “Correct.” Dazai lifts his face to turn and look at him, grunting as he rolls over to face the two now, keeping his head in your lap. 
“Good morning, sir,” Kida greets the older man, reminding you of a soldier in the army with the way he’s acting. 
“Dazai, (Y/n),” he says, completely ignoring the man and causing you to pout. Always so serious and straight to the point. “What’s the status of that meeting with the Port Mafia?”
“I’ve made the arrangements,” Dazai reports. You smirk when you see Kida’s face go into shock, eyeing the three of you. 
“Do you think their boss will come?” he asks. 
“I’m sure he will,” you answer. 
“It’s the perfect opportunity for him to kill you, after all,” Dazai adds, smirking a bit. 
Fukuzawa closes his eyes for a moment and gives a slight nod. “I’d prefer that to having bloodshed amongst our people,” he says as he walks off. You sigh and look down at Dazai when he groans, discovering that you’ve been combing your hand through his hair the whole time. Oops. 
“Hey, Dazai, (Y/n)...” Kida starts softly as Dazai whines and wiggles around in your lap like a child when you stop playing with his hair. “What’s the secret meeting with the Port Mafia all about?” Kida suddenly shouts, causing you to jump. Dazai simply rolls to a stop in your lap, overall seeming unbothered by the man’s raised voice. Typical. 
“Well, I have to admit that our little Atsushi’s idea has really snowballed,” Dazai sighs, staring out the window. 
“Since The Guild is now our biggest threat, it only makes sense for us t-” you start to explain before Kunikida suddenly cuts you off. 
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!” he shouts, speaking a mile a minute. “I’m totally lost here…” Kida admits, rubbing the back of his head. “First of all, why are you guys the ones arranging this meeting?” You open and close your mouth, unsure of how to answer. You tilt your head down to look at Dazai, finding him a bit wide-eyed. He turns to look at Kida now as if Kida should know the answer to that already. 
“Because we used to be with the Port Mafia?” 
Kida’s entire face goes blank with confusion and shock. “Huh?” 
“Oh!” Dazai suddenly realizes, expression lighting up. “Did I not tell you that? My bad!” he hisses, giving him a ‘sorry’ look. 
“What?” Kida shouts, making you flinch back a bit. These two are always such a rowdy bunch. 
“Sorry we didn’t tell you sooner,” you apologize, giving him a sorry smile. He just blinks and stares at you stupidly, making your smile grow. Yeah, guess it is some pretty shocking information. 
“You were in the Port Mafia?” he asks you, jaw completely unhinged. “Dazai I can actually understand. But you?”
“Hey!” Dazai whines with a pout.
*
You and Dazai come to a stop in front of the abandoned building. You place your hands on your hips as you look around you. “Well, this doesn’t seem suspicious at all,” you say sarcastically. 
“Are you sure you should be here?” 
You turn to look at Dazai, smiling over at him. “As I told you a hundred times before, I’m fine.” 
“I don’t want you here…” Dazai mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest as he turns to face you. 
“And who’s going to stop you from murdering Q as soon as you lay eyes on him?” you respond, sighing as you place a hand on Dazai’s chest and the other staying on your hip, feeling him relax under your touch. Chuuya probably wouldn’t give two shits.
Before he can respond, lights are suddenly cutting on around you. You turn to look at the lights, squinting at how bright they are. You raise a brow when you hear many guns being cocked, your hand falling from his chest as you turn to face your enemies. 
“Pleasant evening, isn’t it?” Steinbeck asks, eyeing you from afar. “You even brought a date!” he teases Dazai. You remain expressionless as you study the two men in front of you. Are these guys serious? “Hm, seems our strategist has hit the nail on the head once again in predicting your movements,” he continues. 
Dazai slowly turns to face them, a smirk resting on his lips as he watches them with amusement. “Figures it’d be a trap…”
You two stand side by side as you assess the situation in front of you. Now if only a certain someone would show u- 
A rock comes soaring from the air and crashes into the crowd of men surrounding you, taking out a big chunk of their numbers. “About time…” you mumble, tilting your head back to look up into the sky as the redhead slowly floats down to the ground. You hear Dazai grumble angrily beside you as he runs a hand through his hair and tugs on it.
“Let me set one thing straight,” Chuuya starts as he stares down the enemy, hands resting on his hips, “(Y/n) is not Dazai’s date.” You huff and roll your eyes at the man. That’s what he has to say right now out of all things?
“Says who? Did you invite them here?” Dazai asks. Chuuya opens his mouth to answer him, but Dazai swiftly cuts him off. “No, I didn’t think so,” he sassily finishes. He sighs and tosses his head back. “Man, I knew there was a reason that today was gonna suck,” he mumbles. Ah, so it seems they didn’t fill Dazai in on this part of the plan. Probably a good idea, honestly. 
“The hell?” Steinbeck suddenly shouts. “I never heard anything about this in the strategic forecasts!”  
Just as Steinbeck starts to grow a plant from his hand to attack Chuuya, Dazai comes up behind him and touches his shoulder. “Sorry, I can’t let you do that,” Dazai sighs out, canceling the man’s ability. 
“Gah! The canceling ability,” he huffs, sweat lining his forehead. 
“This is such a drag,” Dazai groans, stomping his foot like a child. You giggle and bump his hip, causing him to almost fall over. 
“At least you’re with me,” you coo playfully. At this, he instantly perks up and sighs dreamily. 
“You’re so right, my beautiful (Y/n).” Your cheeks start to flush, but you’re pulled out of the mini moment by Chuuya. 
“Hey! Stop flirting! We’re on a mission here!” Chuuya hollers as he flies into the air in front of Steinbeck using his ability and kicks the blond away from the three of you. 
After this, Chuuya comes to stand at your other side, slipping his jacket off as he surveys the group around you. He drops it onto your head, to which you give an offended ‘hey!’ You smirk to yourself though as you start to slide it on.
“For crying out loud…this is the worst day I’ve had in years,” Dazai grumbles. 
You brush off your hands as you follow the two men inside, Chuuya laughing at Dazai’s expense. “If the day comes when you two get along, I’ll know the world is ending,” you joke, starting to head down the staircase inside the building. 
“What will you do on your last day on Earth?” Chuuya asks, throwing an arm over your shoulder. You turn to look at him, smirking as you lean into his space. 
“Why? Got any good ideas?” you purr, bringing your face close to his. He sputters in surprise, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water, unsure of how to respond. You cackle as you pull away and walk ahead of him, your laughter calming down when you find Dazai glaring at you both. 
“I’ll have you know that if there was only one day left on Earth, (Y/n) would be spending it with me and we’d be having a great time,” Dazai scoffs, leading the way down the stairs. You bite your lip to try and contain your smile as you follow after him. 
“Ha! As if they’d want to spend it with you of all people!” Chuuya laughs, pointing at him from behind you. 
“Yeah? And why not?” Dazai fires back. 
“Boys,” you warn, coming to a stop at the bottom of the stairs and turning back to look at them to find them glaring at each other. You huff, blowing hair out of your eyes. 
You then turn to look into the dimly lit room, finding Q pinned to the tree with his doll sitting right beside him on the chair. “He’s here!” you announce, hoping that will distract them. Luckily for you, it does. 
Also unluckily for you though, Dazai comes marching right down the stairs and heads right for Q with a murderous intent in his eyes. “Dazai!” you shout, grabbing ahold of his arm and using all your might to hold him back. “Stop it!” 
“What’s with him?” Chuuya asks confusedly. He’s never seen the brunet so worked up before, especially over this. Is there something he doesn’t know? 
“Just help me!” you screech at the shorter male. 
Chuuya quickly jumps into action and grabs his other arm. “Hey, meathead! Would you cool it for a sec?” Chuuya shouts at the man. 
To your relief, he lets up. To your disappointment, he turns his anger onto Chuuya. “No! Do you know what he did to them?” he shouts, backing the man up into the wall opposite from Q. You sigh as you rub your hand over your forehead. 
“Dazai, enough-” you start. You go ignored though. 
“No, I don’t know. Enlighten me,” Chuuya snaps. He reminds you of a cat who’s been backed into a corner and has its hair bristled. 
“Chuuya! Don’t-”
“They almost died because of him, and I’ll be damned and sent right to hell if I let him get away with it,” he says lowly, fists shaking from the rage brewing inside of him. You walk over to the duo, setting your hand on Dazai’s back. You frown when instead of relaxing like he normally does, he only grows tenser under your touch. 
“If you had to kill everyone who has almost killed me, half the population would be gone!” you exaggerate, trying to reason with him.
“Fucking good riddance then,” Dazai huffs, still eyeing Chuuya.
Chuuya silently stares up at him, debating his next words. “What happened?” he asks, eyes softening as he worriedly glances at you as if the attack just happened. 
“They were almost strangled to death. They had bruises on their neck, eyes bloodshot and swollen, and they could barely swallow or breathe,” Dazai mumbles, eyes shifting down the ground as his knuckles become white with his grip. Your body goes tense at the recollection of what happened. 
“I’m fine,” you reassure them both. 
The room is silent for a moment after that, and Chuuya stares at you, at a loss for words. He’s relieved of trying to find the right thing to say though since Dazai is sighing and standing up straight. “Give me your knife,” he demands. 
“Dazai-”
“Why?” Chuuya asks, hand resting where said knife is hidden. 
“I’m going to kill the little bastard one way or another. Are you going to help me or not?” Dazai asks lowly, staring straight into Chuuya’s soul. Chuuya stares right back at him, going over his options. He slowly turns to look at you to find your rapidly shaking your head. 
“Knock yourself out,” Chuuya says as he suddenly takes it out and tosses it to the younger man. 
“Nakahara!” you hiss disappointedly, quickly reaching for the covered knife. You grab it at the same time as Dazai does, starting a power struggle with him over who gets the weapon. 
“(Y/n), let go,” Dazai warns. 
“No! This is the whole reason I came with you! To make sure you wouldn’t do something stupid like this!” 
“Chuuya,” Dazai says, making your eyes go wide. 
“No-” you start to argue, taking a step back from Chuuya as he comes towards you. “Chuuya, no!” you shout. You begin a power struggle with him now as he comes up behind you and grabs under your arms, preventing you from using them or getting away from him. “Chuuya, stop! Dazai, please!” you scream, struggling against the man. 
They both ignore you as Dazai walks over to the kid who is still unconscious against the tree. “I’m surprised you’re helping me,” Dazai comments as he stops in front of the boy. 
“My orders were to take him back alive, but hearing what he did to (Y/n)...” He pauses for a long moment. “I’d do anything for (Y/n)...” Chuuya confesses. “So, do what you want…”
“You aren’t doing this for me! You’re doing this against me!” you cry. You don’t know why you’re fighting so hard to save this kid’s life. Dazai’s right. He almost had you killed. 
“Very well,” Dazai responds, ignoring your cries. “I will.” 
“Osamu! Stop! Don’t do this! What would Oda say?” you scream. 
This has Dazai pausing his raised hand, thinking over your words. You start to relax, glad you got through to him. 
You go tense again though when his arm swipes in front of him in one fell swoop. Blood spurts from the new cut on the boy’s throat, covering the knife and Dazai in blood. You go limp against Chuuya, closing your eyes to prevent yourself from watching further as Q bleeds out from his sliced throat. 
You shove Chuuya off of you just as he wraps his arms around you for a hug now. You shake your head as you head up the stairs, a frown heavily etched on your face. “(Y/n)...” you hear him mumble, following after you. You hear another set of steps follow you and Chuuya’s after a moment, and your body goes tense. 
Just as you reach the entrance, something akin to a tentacle is wrapping around your throat. You cry out just as the tentacle silences you, picking you up and starting to throw you around like a ragdoll. 
“(Y/n)!” you hear two sets of voices scream. 
You’re suddenly thrown back to the moment when Atsushi was choking you. The anger in his eyes, the fear. You had no idea what was wrong with him other than the fact that he wasn’t acting like himself. He kept mumbling things, seeming to believe that you were the enemy. You couldn’t even use your ability against him, afraid that you’d hurt the poor man. That’s how you got into the situation. 
Unlike Atsushi though, this bitch can face your wrath. 
You use your ability against your opponent, causing him to grunt from the ground. You regain your ability to scream as you’re thrown into the building you came out of, the air leaving your lungs though as soon as you make contact. Feet pound towards you as they run at top speed, going from attacking the man to making sure you’re okay. You wheeze as you try to get your breath back, your hands holding your throat. 
“(Y/n)!” Dazai shouts, collapsing to the ground beside you and cradling your face in his hands. You’re getting deja vu.
“Are you okay?” he asks worriedly, looking from between your eyes to down at your neck. He lets go of your face to move your hands to assess the damage to your neck. 
“I’m fine,” you croak, gently pushing at his chest to get him to stop. 
“Grantors of dark disgrace…” Chuuya begins to chant as he starts to slip off one of his gloves. As soon as you hear that first word, your eyes are going wide. 
“Chuuya!” you shout, trying to gain his attention. 
“Now you’ve done it,” Dazai singsongs, smirking to himself. 
“Nakahara, stop!”
“You need not wake me again…” he finishes the chant before his ability is activated, red lines starting to appear all over his body. 
“Shouldn’t have messed with our (Y/n),” Dazai continues to singsong without a care in the world. You punch his chest–receiving an “ow!” in response from him–as you stand up and move towards Chuuya. 
“Nakah-”
Just before you reach him, he’s taking a step forward and causing a big crack in the earth around his feet, a gust of wind almost blowing you away. 
“What am I even looking at right now…?” You turn to find Steinbeck leaning against a tree. Oh, so that’s where he went. 
Before you can even blink, Dazai is coming up behind him and holding the bloody knife he used to kill Q up against the blond’s throat. “Want me to fill you in, worker bee?” Steinbeck gulps and turns his head a bit to look at Dazai over his shoulder. “That right there is the fully realized form of Chuuya’s gift. His corrupted form allows him to manipulate nearby gravitons, creating a black hole which swallows everything in its path. The drawback is he relinquishes control, attacking in a blind rage until he wastes away.” Dazai then pauses, the two men watching Chuuya attack the man-creature. 
“And do you want to know why Chuuya is doing this?” he whispers into the man’s ear. You’re close enough to where you can hear them and you can see Steingbeck’s eyes flicker to you before Dazai even speaks. Steinbeck doesn’t even get to nod or verbally answer before Dazai is continuing. “Do you see the person right here with us? The beautiful one glowing under the light of the moon?” You tense when the attention is suddenly brought to you, your cheeks turning to fire at Dazai’s description of you. 
Steinbeck tilts his head a bit and makes eye contact with you. You watch as his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, a drop of sweat sliding down his temple. He gives a faint nod, eyeing you for a moment. “Well, your partner here made the mistake of hurting them. You know, this knife I have pressed against you right now is bloody because I just got done killing someone who harmed them. Then, not five minutes later, your partner goes and makes the same mistake and does something similar that someone had done to (Y/n) before.” He sighs and clicks his tongue while shaking his head from side to side. “People just never learn.” 
“What does it matter if we hurt them or not? Y’all never got this worked up over other people!” Steinbeck mumbles, eyeing you warily as he speaks. He hisses when Dazai presses the knife even closer, a drop of blood gliding down his neck as Dazai presses the blade to his throat. 
“Ah ah, that’s where you’re wrong,” he advises. He sets his head on the blond’s shoulder, also beginning to study you now. His eyes are completely different from Steinbeck’s though. Dazai’s hold what they always hold for you when he looks at you, no matter his mood, no matter the situation. 
Adoration. Fondness. Love.
At least, you like to think it’s love. 
“(Y/n) isn’t just anyone. We both love them, you see,” Dazai confesses, looking away from you to continue watching Chuuya. Your jaw completely drops at this, your heart suddenly going into overdrive. He can’t be serious. “Typically, I’d never say this out loud, let alone to the enemy. I don’t like people knowing my weaknesses, and neither does Chuuya,” Dazai continues his confession. “But, seeing Chuuya how he is right now, I doubt either of you will live for much longer,” he finishes his thoughts, picking his head up just as his partner figures out that he needs to attack the monster from the inside to defeat it. 
He finishes with the man, blowing him to smithereens and almost blowing you away with it. Once the wind dies down, you open your eyes to find that Dazai has, once again, cut an enemy’s throat. You sigh and turn away, deciding you’ll deal with him later. 
You quickly start running towards Chuuya as he manically laughs, watching as blood drips from his mouth and head. He starts to throw balls of energy around, causing small explosions when they land. 
“Nakahara!” you scream as you near him. He suddenly freezes in place, the black hole he was forming in his hand dissipating at the sound of your voice. He turns around just as you launch yourself into his arms, hugging him tightly. 
There are only two things that can snap him out of this. Dazai’s ability and you. Not your ability. You. 
He’s stiff in your hold as you hug him, not back to himself yet. Your brows furrow when he pushes at your shoulders to get you to back up. Your eyes go wide when his lips are suddenly on yours, a gasp escaping you, to which he uses to his advantage to slide his tongue into your mouth. You taste the metallic of his blood, your hands pushing at his chest to no avail. 
You gasp again when he’s suddenly forced away from you, Dazai holding his wrist as he activates his ability. “Bastard,” he growls, glaring down at Chuuya. “You’re lucky I don’t beat you to hell for pulling a stunt like that-”
“He can’t control himself. You know that,” you remind Dazai as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand to clean Chuuya’s blood off of your lips. 
“He kisses you every time! How is that an accident!” Dazai snaps, glaring down at the redhead as his red lines finish receding. Chuuya grunts as he falls forward, only being held up by Dazai’s grip on him. 
You rush forward to catch him, letting him lean against you. “(Y/n)...” he mumbles into your collarbone. 
“I’m here,” you whisper back, smacking Dazai’s arm to get him to let him go. Dazai glares at you but let's go, placing his hands into his pockets. Chuuya grunts and collapses into your arms completely. You grunt right back at his weight and quickly lower yourselves to the ground. You even take it a step forward and lay back, Chuuya’s head resting on your chest. “I got you…” you whisper, staring up at the starry sky. He lets out a pleased sigh before going utterly limp against you. The last thing you see is Dazai standing above you with a disapproving look on his face before you close your eyes. 
*
When you wake up this time, it feels like deja vu again. You’re in the same room, in the same bed, with similar injuries, and with a worried brunet sleeping by your side. Only this time, he’s literally sleeping in the bed beside you instead of in the chair by the bed. 
Your face is pressed into Dazai’s chest and you can tell he’s asleep by his slow breaths. You wonder how long you’ve been out. Has Dazai been asleep long or did he do that thing where he worries about you so much that he can’t rest until he knows you’re okay and then passes out from exhaustion? 
Either way, you’re glad that you both were able to get some rest, even if it was accidental. You pull yourself back a bit to look up at him, noticing the few marks he has on him. Guess he didn’t get away scot-free either. 
You look up at his messy bedhead and want to touch his hair so badly. You remember what happened last time and decide not to wake him. You slowly back up and sit up, letting out a heavy sigh as you run your hand through your dirty hair. You could use a shower. 
Just as you’re about to get out of bed, a hand is grabbing your wrist, making you gasp. You swivel your head around to look at Dazai, only to find him seemingly still asleep. He looks like he’s asleep still, but you can tell he’s awake now. “Don’t leave me yet…” he mumbles, grip tightening on your wrist a tad. You sigh and lay back down, facing him and placing your arms between you both. 
He moves his grip from your wrist to your hand, intertwining your fingers. He opens his eyes and finally meets yours, a weight lifting from your shoulders when you see his brown eyes. You give him a soft smile, watching as he returns the expression. 
You watch as he opens his mouth, hoping he’s going to say something sweet and romantic. “Chuuya can suck it. I don’t see him sharing a bed with you,” he says with a pleased smirk. You scoff and let his hand go, rolling your eyes. 
“You’re such a child.” 
“Am not,” he argues with a pout. 
“Are too,” you argue right back. 
“Am not!” 
“Are too!”
“Then so are you!” he fires back, smirking at you. 
You open your mouth to retort before closing it again, squinting your eyes at the ex-mafia member. “Touché,” you cave, relaxing into the bed again. “But seriously, you two are like two friends fighting over your favorite toy,” you grumble. You purse your lips when he grabs ahold of your hand again. 
“First of all, we aren’t friends-”
You snort. “Yeah, okay-” you respond sarcastically. 
“Secondly,” he pauses, staring into your eyes, “You are our favorite toy.” He brings your hand to his face, kissing the back of it. “And I refuse to share,” he whispers decidedly, looking up from your hand to stare into your eyes with a determined look. 
“Don’t call me a toy,” you decide to respond with, ignoring the rest of his words. You also ignore the way your heart flutters at how possessive he is over you. He chuckles at that, shifting in the bed to get closer to you. 
“You started it,” he reminds. 
“Did not,” you defend. 
“Did too,” he coos, getting even closer. 
“Did not,” you mumble, his nose touching yours.
“Did too,” he whispers, breath fanning across your face. 
“Did-” your response is cut off by his lips meeting yours. You hum and lean forward, pressing your lips harder against his. His free hand comes up to cup your jaw, keep your head angled just right for him to kiss you. 
“Don’t let him kiss you again,” he whispers once you two pull away. 
“I’ll think about it,” you coo, winking at him. He glares at you, wrapping his limbs around you and clinging to you like a koala. 
“Fine. You can’t ever leave this bed then.” 
“Not even to pee?” you ask with a laugh. 
“Nope.” 
“What if I just invite Chuuya to this bed?” you argue with his logic. 
“I’ll kill the ugly bastard if he even thinks about setting foot into this room,” he decides, making you laugh. 
“Right, sure,” you say sarcastically, cuddling into him. 
“I will!” 
“Whatever you say, baby,” you concede, letting out a yawn. 
“Did you just call me baby?” he asks. 
You quickly close your eyes and let out a heavy breath, pretending to be asleep. “Hey,” he says as he pulls back a bit to look at you. “Hey! I know you aren’t asleep already!” he shouts, shaking you a bit. You whine and smack at his hands, burrowing closer to him and hiding your face in his chest. He huffs and lets your arms go to wrap his arms back around you. “You’re lucky you’re so damn cute,” he grumbles, pressing a kiss to your hairline. He rolls his eyes when he feels you smile into his chest. He knew you weren’t asleep. 
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