#don't take the rankings too too seriously

[filurig]

a new little spingle... info about him under the cut

a disciple of glaris in sartrill's priesthood, despite his holy position - isn't too enthusiastic about it. truthfully, he was forced into his current study by his parents as he was born as a "curlwing". "curlwings" in sartrillan culture are considered the closest to "true" children of glaris, having been born with her "blessing" of flightlessness and therefore are believed to be more strongly attuned to her, so the natural course for any young curlwing is to enter priesthood training at an early age. despite that, however, karu never excelled in his priestly studies - not that he was necessarily bad or couldn't carry out the duties he were assigned, but his superiors keep worrying that he doesn't put enough heart in it, so he has never really risen considerably in the ranks of the priesthood.

somewhat lethargic, karu accepted his "fate" - while he has faith, he also longs for being able to have his own life as life in the priesthood is relatively restricted to the holy grounds and the districts in sartill closest to it. there is a small, adventurous spirit inside of him that wishes to see more of the world, having never left sartrill in his entire life, but at this point he's sort of given up on it. he is somewhat ruled over by his fear of sticking out and not conforming and betraying the expectations of the priesthood, his family and Glaris herself.

karu can come off as quite cold and tired as he feels sort of detached from the people and circumstances around him. when brought out of his shell, however, he brightens up considerably - but can be a bit cynical still. he isn't actually as serious as he comes across as, and actually enjoys being around people who don't take things too seriously either. he tries to self-correct though and therefore that part of him is rarely seen by anyone. because of his alienation from other harpies, partly due to his upbringing and role, he's a bit socially inept, but has learned to deal with that by hiding behind his stoic and unconcerned facade. a bit of a double edged sword because it only reinforces the idea people have of him around him as this "serious, no-fun wholly dedicated priest disciple who doesn't want to mingle with the commoners"

while he wishes he had more freedom to do stuff, karu does enjoy some parts of his priestly duties - most especially the craftsmanship he gets to engage in. sartrillan priests will actually be responsible for most of the settlement's craftsmanship especially ones concerning fabric and clothing, but also other crafts (former are just the biggest categories)

flightlessness is relevant in some satrtillan mythology and in the biggest story (the one involving glaris) is a noteworthy sacrifice some crakam made to grant them the ability to hide from humans using illusory magic. that ofc creates a sort of weird relationship with crakam society and crakam born with flightless conditions. in sartrill its especially pronounced as glaris is the settlement's "patron deity" and while care is taken to accomodate to the flightless, there is also a social schism between them and other crakam bcs of their connotations and also the fact that most flightless crakam are "strongly encouraged" and often forced to live in the priesthood.

craftsmanship is strongly associated with holiness/the priesthood in sartrill because the body alterations flighted harpies undergo to render themselves flightless permanently actually increases arm flexibility a little, and historically being unable to fly it was a natural direction for many priests to head in to contribute to the community which might be why it became such a strong practice

there are several different conditions that can make a harpy not be flighted - curlfeather is one of them. any condition which does such is treated similarly - it doesn't really matter which, but curlfeather is probably the most common/well known one.

[waitineedaname]

shoes in FMA rated on how comfortable they'd be to fight in

Edward Elric

considering Ed's uhhh very distinct taste in aesthetics, these could be a lot worse. they look relatively comfortable and don't seem like they'd be difficult to move around in. they are platforms though, which I imagine makes things more difficult. I'll be generous and give these a 7/10

Most of the Amestrian military

pretty much everyone in uniform wears the same shoes, so I'm lumping them all together. these are Roy's, if that matters. they look fine. I imagine that because it is part of a military uniform, it's designed to be moved around in and worn for hours on end, so ideally they're relatively comfortable. it doesn't look like there's much traction, but they're usually fighting on flat surfaces so whatever. 8/10

Fu and Lan Fan

these shoes fucking rule. the picture I've included is Lan Fan's, but they wear p much the same shoes. I fucking love these things. they have spikes. Edward Elric fucking wishes. considering this seems to be part of the bodyguard uniform, I'd imagine they're as easy to run around in as the military shoes, if not better since they're expected to be doing martial arts in them. but most importantly, they have spikes. 10/10, no notes.

Ling and Mei

on the topic of doing martial arts, both Ling and Mei wear these.... I'm not sure what they are. flats? slippers? it's unclear. (EDIT: they are apparently Kung Fu shoes!) they seem relatively easy to move around in I guess since they're not very cumbersome and both Ling and Mei rely on being very nimble. they look like they have absolutely no support in the soles though, which is gonna get painful after a certain point. also depending on what fabric they're made of, they could definitely start chafing. I've worn flats. I know that hell. 7/10 for the potential blisters, but at least they're designed specifically for martial arts

Greedling and Bradley

it's hard to get a good shot in this scene because neither of them stop moving, but I swear to god, they're fighting in dress shoes. I cannot stand them. this CANNOT be comfortable. I know Greed prioritizes aesthetics over function so this was probably a compromise between his and Ling's tastes but ohhh my god. he was probably wasting so much of the philosopher's stone just passively healing the million blisters on his feet from running around in these things. there's a chance Bradley is wearing the military uniform shoes but I think he was in more formal dress when he got blown the fuck up, so I don't think so. no wonder he complains about being sore, quit running around in dress shoes you fucking moron. 4/10.

Greed

THESE FUCKING THIIIIIIIINGS. WHY ARE THEY POINTY AT THE END. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SOMEONE HIT HIS FOOT WITH A MALLET AND FLATTENED THEM. he's so dumb. I love him. looking at these things tells me he would probably wear goth cowboy boots if he could, and tbh that would probably look better. 3/10 for Greed's overall silly as hell fashion sense

Lust

okay. the heels make sense considering her whole vibe. however. these are part of her fucking BODY. when she gets incinerated, they grow back. can she even take them off???? I'm scared to ask. I guess if theyre part of her body, she doesn't have to worry about adjusting to balancing in them like you would normally with heels, but oh my god. she can never wear normal shoes. I would also be murderous if I had to wear heels all the time. 4/10.

Father and Izumi

guys. these are sandals. it has been four hundred years and Father is still wearing the same outfit he was wearing in the damn desert. find a new outfit man. Izumi is apparently wearing bathroom slippers (hence the WC) so idk why she's even wearing those out of the house. Father gets 0/10 and Izumi gets 1/10 because she still manages to kick everyone's asses while wearing these, so respect

Envy

PUT YOUR FUCKING TOES AWAY. -10000000/10

[samanthamulder]

THE X-FILES 30th ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION

DAY 1: favourite episodes

layout adapted from: x + x // episode descriptions via hulu

[justanothershippingcan]

Out of everything, my favorite "We didn't mean to make 'em gay" Atlus moment with Shuake and P5R is how not engaging in any of the romantic routes, overall, doesn't affect the gameplay at all. You even get the best White Day bit with Soujiro + Ryuji choco, as a treat.

But not liking Akechi enough by either not completing his confidant or not choosing the right options means you don't get the complete True Ending. The game itself punishes you for not letting Akiren go to their pecualiar Akeshu-brand dates, or for not making him admit how much he cares about their proposal promise.

I hate them.

[pyxaperson]

I am procrastinating on my uni assignments so here’s the 2012!TMNT main cast ranked on who would be homophobic/transphobic

1 being the most and 6 being the least

this is my opinion and my interpretation. i will fight people for one of these rankings if they disagree with me

6 - April

You cannot convince me she isn’t a 2012 Tumblr girl like… look at her. She spent most of her teenage years debating with homophobes on the internet. She would 100% watch supernatural and 100% ship Castiel.

"Would she fetishise mlm relationships?" NO. She would also watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and ship Fuffy. She reads yaoi AND yuri in her spare time.

If she swoons over a mutant and an alien getting together, she will 100% do the same for a gay couple.

Probably taught the others not to be homophobic (mostly the top 3).

If you believe she hates the LGBT+ community, I am sorry but you are objectively wrong I will be hunting you for sport right now. I am outside your house with the episode "Karai's Vendetta" playing loudly on my laptop.

5 - Donnie

“Erm actually, homosexual behaviour has been heavily documented in animals such as penguins, bats and hyenas. It’s very much natural.“

While I cannot imagine him ever being homophobic, I can imagine him being transphobic when he was younger.

BUT I only think that because the primary school biology textbook was his bible when he was five.

As soon as he had access to a more “advanced” biology book, he learnt his mistakes.

Had a deep understanding of gender before his brother understood the differences between them as a result of this.

4 - Mikey

Thinks LGBT+ people are awesome, however his only exposure to gay people is rupaul drag race so his views on them are stereotypical.

He would probably be taken aback if you introduced him to a gay man who isn’t flamboyant, but he would adjust after a bit.

He would definitely say “You don’t look gay” though.

Aside from April, he would be the most angry when hearing homophobic/transphobic comments.

3 - Leo

The middle point between homophobic and not homophobic for the group (even though she's seconds lmao, the group is just not really homophobic).

I headcanon her as a trans lesbian so any homophobic/transphobic thoughts she would have are a mixture of her sheltered life and internalised issues.

Nothing extreme though, but her mind would get hung up on two girls holding hands on the street for multiple days.

She would also go through the 5 stages of grief for every unprompted homophobic thought she gets.

Everyone helps her overcome this, especially after she discovers herself and comes out.

2 - Raph

I am sorry, but he would probably use homophobic language before meeting April.

However, that’s due to him not understanding what he was saying. He probably thought gay was a synonym for stupid.

Once he understands who LGBT+ people are and what they face (AKA being scolded by April), he would probably feel really bad about it.

He wouldn’t really apologise for it verbally, but he would 100% kill a homophobe after that so everyone understands he’s changed.

Mikey would then make fun of him for being homophobic which would get him really mad. It's revenge for Raph calling him gay to insult him and brushing his genuine anger off.

“At least I’m not-“ “I’M NOT HOMOPHOBIC MIKEY!”

1 - Casey

I am not sorry, this dude was definitely homophobic before meeting the Turtles + April. Like, actually homophobic.

His dad is homophobic so it comes from that.

He called Donnie the f-slur behind his back to the rest of the group. To put it lightly, they were not impressed.

The first moment where he questions his behaviour is when April rips him to shreds over it, but it’s not until Raph pulls him aside to express disappointment that he realises how bad his behaviour is.

Probably goes MIA for a couple of days undergoing serious reflection on his life and beliefs. He then comes back to apologise for his behaviour.

He takes some time to truly overcome his bigotry, but he gets there eventually. Like Raph, he'll kill a homophobe after the ordeal.

[butchfriend]

going to enrage every political ideologue simultaneously by voting for cornel west as first choice ("throwing away" my vote, pissing off the liberals), kamala second choice (making me complicit in genocide somehow, pissing off the online leftists), and pissing off the anarchists by voting at all

[reblogor]

the western zodiac signs...my ranking (men)

Virgo: Keep to themselves, serious about what they love, and can be very loyal as friends. Usually kind if they have no reason to be rude.

June Cancer: Funny as hell but also can be a little messy. Especially when they're unevolved, they can tend to create drama. They also have a habit of not caring about anything that doesn't directly effect them. Fierce lovers of family.

April Aries: Weirdly earthy guys lol...Chill, easy to talk to, kind, driven (though sometimes a little all over the place). My main concern with them is that every one I've known has fallen victim to a vice. This doesn't make them a bad person but it's sad to see someone with so much potential suffer so much as a result.

June Gemini: Excellent conversation…like god tier conversation. Not sure of what else to say beyond that.

August Leo: Ehh...they can be fun to be around but most of my experience with them comes from childhood, so there could be a difference with adult male leos.

Sagittarius: Funny af but also really fucking mean lmao. Like they will deliver the sickest burn in the funniest way possible.

May Gemini: Not a single original thought in that head of theirs. Very smart, but a follower through and through. Doesn't make for a strong relationship of any kind.

Capricorn: If you think a may gemini is bad, imagine befriending someone who has a fraction of the intelligence but thinks they have way more than they actually do. Followers with unearned arrogance lmao.

October Scorpio: Literally pathological. When they're in a good mood, they're okay, but as soon as their mood drops even a little bit, they're suddenly wanting to do harm to everybody in the immediate vicinity. They lie like breathing and aren't particularly driven to do anything besides exist. Still better than the remainder lmfao.

March Aries: All the ones I've met should be institutionalized. They're extremely sensitive, secretly abusive, prone to being mean unless you walk on eggshells around them... On the other hand they are much more tolerable than the other signs below them, especially when you're just getting to know them.

Taurus: Secretly messy bitches who will drop you the moment they get bored. Hella mean, no empathy, fake as fuck, and will belittle you any chance they get in order to prop themselves up in front of others. What makes them worse than october scorps and march aries is the fact that they will do their dirt behind a smile.

July Leo: Completely unhinged individuals... Will flip on you the moment they perceive their ego has been bruised. What makes them worse than March Aries and October Scorpios is they don't even change on you for valid reasons pertaining to genuine emotional hurt, just perceived ego slights.

Aquarius: Don't even speak to an aquarius if you don't have to. ESPECIALLY a february aquarius. January aquarians are bad, don't get me wrong. But nearly every february aquarius male I have ever met has done something criminal and creepy, especially to women including stalking and physical abuse. And even for the ones who haven't engaged in criminal activity, they are extremely fickle, argumentative, competitive, egoistic, irrational (while genuinely believing they're not), rude af, and lie for no reason at all.

Have not really ever gotten to know a male july cancer, a male november scorpio, a male pisces, nor a male libra, so I can't speak on them. I assume, however, that nothing can be worse than a male aquarius, so at the very least they're probably better than that.

This is just MY experience with the signs and exists for entertainment purposes only. Don't be mean to someone just because of their sign!

[icewindandboringhorror]

I have a big google doc thing where I keep track of media and stuff (putting everything in loosely ranked categories), which is mostly just for my own reference so I know what tv shows I've already seen before, etc. and I never really look back through it, typically just a quick "okay, watched two movie in the past 8 months, need to quickly slap them somewhere in the lists. okay. done. save document. exit". But today I was actually reading through some of the old notes and there are like... MULTIPLE places where my comment is basically "It would have been good if it were about elves" or "I wish there was a fantasy show made in this same style" or "It's well made, but I just keep thinking about how I would like it more if everyone was an elf or was in old 1700s costumes" or etc like...... lol.... Most biased media ranking system on earth blatantly made by someone with an extremely hyperspecific range of narrow interests. It'd be like if a food reviewer only had 5 foods they actually liked, so they'd just go to a pizza place and be like "eh, the pizza was okay, but I just think it would be better if it was cereal instead. :/ ...2 out of 10"

[5mcsinatrenchcoat]

Harding is the Hero of the Inquisition in the same way Shepard is the Hero of the Alliance.

In a way that no one, including the new game's UI apparently, calls her by her goddamn first name!

[taylors-karma]

It’s time for my first official ranking after seeing the interviews! Here’s to hoping I’m right about some of these (and wrong about others). 

Stan Card Activated

1. Blue- I still really like her and y’all really like her and I trust the fandom with every fiber of my being so I know we are right, I can feel it. I wish she had gotten more screen time in the interview but if she’s a last-minute alternate addition, it just pushes her even further. 

I think I’m gonna like you 

2. Jag- He gave me really good vibes in his picture and he’s giving me good vibes in his interview too! I think he’s gonna be a really chill guy but I can also see him being a huge mastermind and doing well in the game. 

3. Bowie- I like her accent and she seems cool. I feel like I’ll vibe with her and she’ll be on the right side of the house. Don’t let me down woman!

4. Felicia- She seems sweet! She reminds me of all the nice older southern ladies I’ve met since moving to South Carolina. Nice and comforting. I feel like she won’t try to make waves in the beginning but I could see her getting pissed and telling someone off and I hope we get to. 

I want to like you but something’s off

5. Izzy- Like I said, the queer musician connection has me wanting to like her but her crescendo joke was so fucking bad and I fear she’s just another Kaycee. Idk tho maybe she’s the butch lesbian we all needed. I have hope for her. 

6. Mecole- The politician thing is throwing me off I’m not gonna lie. Also she still reminds me of Ameerah and I could totally see her being a bitch. However, I can also see her being an awesome strategist and actually getting some work done. If she’s a girlboss I’ll take her but if she’s just gonna drag people in the mud I will not. 

7. Kirsten- There wasn’t much that I got from her, but she does seem like someone who’d end up aligning with the wrong people. I feel like she’ll be the most tolerable member of the alliance we all end up hating and we’ll all be begging her to work with the other side/s the entire time. Please prove me wrong girl sdifjpef. 

Mid

8. Matt- I do really like the deaf representation, but he seems boring af. Not someone I can see myself caring about. Sorry. 

9. Cameron- I could see myself potentially hating this guy, but he seems unproblematic to me as of now. I could see him woking with annoying people but also being kind of a floater. He’s practically TBD lol.

I don’t know yet

10. Jared- Apparently his mom is a Survivor legend? I haven’t seen Survivor so I would have no idea of knowing how good this guy could be, but family doesn’t mean shit sometimes. I can’t read this guy yet so I’m still wary. I just don’t want another Monte y’all. 

11. Hisam- After watching the interview I have definitely changed my opinion about him, but I’m still wary. He seems like he could be another Michael maybe? I could also see him becoming irrelevant or being part of the annoying big alliance. Idk I can’t tell I think I’m going crazy. 

Can’t stand your ass already

12. Red- I just know he’s going to be annoying. Is he going to be Frenchie? Cliff? Idk, but I don’t care for him either way. Out. 

13. Reilly- She’s going to be in the stupid popular alliance and is gonna get into some stupid showmance and rat on the other girls. Useless!!!! Next. 

14. America- I literally can’t stand her voice or her personality already. She reminds me of Alyssa from last season so much it hurts. She’s gonna get into a dumb showmance, be a bitch to everyone, start every rumor and bully train, etc. I just know it. 

15. Luke- Nah this guy is literally just Kyle. I’m waiting for it. 

16. Cory- I don’t give a fuck that his brother was on Survivor; I couldn’t stand looking at him or watching him talk. Literally didn’t hear a single word he said because I was so appalled by what I was seeing. How is someone just built like that. I’m sorry ksdjfposdjgdfg I know he can’t control these things but I have a feeling I will be proven right. Cory, make me feel guilty about this please. 

[shadowed-yet-vibrant]

Can a lawyer please tell me it's all going to be okay and I'm going to pass the bar exam next week?

[tonycries]

A ranking of JJK men from best to worst during your period (absolutely no one asked for this):

Nanami - Are you kidding me? In what world would this perfect husband NOT be number one?? Doesn't even need that lil' app on his phone to track your periods, bro remembers. He has it mapped out in his brain AND on his calendar. You don't even have to tell him when it starts, he'll be home with chocolates, your fav movies, and enough heating pads to last a lifetime going, "Hi, my love, I hope m'not too early but I got you these." He's never too early. Never.

Geto - Bro has been through the whole process twice already with his daughters. He KNOWS exactly what's going down when you get just a lil' too sensitive, when your cravings become just a tad sweeter. Would lay you down and give you the most soothing massages whispering about how it'll "all be over soon" and "his girl can tough it out." 10/10 is so patient, even has a period tracker on his phone.

Choso - Y'know he's a lil' confused but he's got the spirit. Curses don't have periods so trust he'll be MAD confused wondering whether you've somehow developed the same jujutsu technique as him. When you teach him though, he's gonna be the sweetest babygirl. Let's you cuddle and use him all you want, throw him around to your hearts content until you have the perfect pillow!! Only minus points would be for that little intrusive thought in his brain that just wants to.....experiment......with his technique....

Gojo - Now, you'd be confused about who has the period - you or HIM? Which, honestly if distraction is your go-to then it works out pretty well. Every cramp you get, Gojo just hates to see his pretty baby in pain, so he'd be crying out. He'd be right there moaning and groaning along with you until you're crying tears of laughter because what the fuck?? Extra points because he's a sweet connoisseur and knows ALL the best places to get you everything you want. Trust, bro doesn't skimp out either he'd be diving IN to that Gojo Estate old money just to get you more than everything you need. Much more.

Toji - Now, hear me out it's not that man doesn't know what to do. It's just that he doesn't want to. Not to bully his cute girl, but does he really have to get out of bed and walk the treacherous block down to the convenience store to get you extra pads? Really? He'd much rather stay in bed cuddling you and kissing every inch of your face he could reach - seriously, his old bones are creaking at the very thought of moving. But, eventually, when you do bribe him with a dollar convince him to go, he'd be pampering you and more with your own money.

Sukuna - Bro definitely tells you to "just suck it back in wtf." -3878473 aura for him, but at least Uraume is on your side and gives him a good whack to the head. When he realizes a bit tho would be a bit softer than usual, at least he'll stop calling you his usual names after your sensitive self tears up at them. Mhm, definitely take him to try out a cramp simulator, though he deserves it.

[devondespresso]

Let Me Raise The Bar

T | 3,602 words | Steddie | also on ao3! | Modern AU, Meet Cute, Fluff

This fic is for the @strangerthingswritersguild fic exchange, by @starryeyedjanai and @devondespresso. Thank you to @dreamwatch and @bubblesandink for betaing for me!! <3

dividers by @/thecutestgrotto

edit: oh my god i forgot the keep reading the first time im so sorry guys

This night is going terribly.

He keeps telling himself he’ll delete all his dating apps for good, but the prospect of being alone forever always has him re-downloading them.

Right now, he’s remembering why he hates them so much.

He hates Tinder, specifically—guys on Tinder only want to fuck. And if that was what he was looking for, that’d be fine, great even!

But he wants a relationship and guys on Tinder will say they want one too and then turn around and leave right after they get what they want.

At least guys on Grindr are upfront about it being just a hookup—no one’s getting their hopes up or feelings hurt when it turns out to be just that.

Tinder guys will take you on a date and pretend to be interested in you as a person and then won't fucking text back after they leave your apartment the next morning. It’s annoying and it’s frustrating and it’s a waste of Steve's fucking time at this point.

And this guy tonight isn't even trying to pretend. He tried to get Steve to blow him in his apartment building garage before they even left for the date and he really should have taken that for the red flag that it was.

But Steve looks good, and he did his hair routine that takes entirely too fucking long for no one to appreciate it.

His date drives him to this hole in the wall restaurant that Steve must have passed a million times on the bus ride to his job without ever noticing.

He thought he might be able to turn things around when they got there—it’s a small Italian place, a real family-owned type vibe to it. He knows before he even orders that the food is going to be some of the best he’s tasted since moving here.

He tries asking the typical first date questions to get to know him, but his date keeps giving him short answers. So he switches to talking about himself a little, but then he realizes his date’s been staring at his mouth the whole time he’s been talking and Steve finally snaps that he isn't getting into his pants.

Steve breathes out a deep sigh as his ���date” gets up and goes to the bathroom. Some fucking date this is—they haven't even gotten their fucking food yet. What a disaster.

“Hey,” he hears their waiter—Eddie, his nametag reminds Steve when he looks up—say after a minute of his date being gone. “I hate to be the bearer of super bad news, but I just saw your date slip out the back door, and I don't know if he’s planning on coming back.”

There's a lilt of sympathy in his voice and Steve can't help but snort.

“Of course he did,” Steve says. “Why can't guys just be upfront about what they want? It would save everyone so much time.”

He’s not looking for an answer, but Eddie's mouth twists and he says, “Guys are stupid. I mean, they’d have to be to give up the chance to get to know someone as cute as you.”

Steve can't really muster up a smile at the pity, so he says, “Well, whatever the case, he was my ride home, so I think I need to call a Lyft now. Can you box the food up and bring me the check?” At least he’ll have lunch for tomorrow, which doesn't feel like an adequate consolation prize for how shitty he feels right now.

Eddie shakes his head and says, “There’s no way I’m letting you pay for such a shitty date.” Steve opens his mouth to protest, but Eddie continues, “Tell you what, my shift ends in ten minutes. Why don't I show you how I’d treat you if we went on a date.”

Steve's heart thuds in his chest, a flicker of hope in this incredibly dull evening. “Seriously?” he asks.

Eddie nods. “Think of it as a trial run. See if I rank good enough for a real one.” He winks and Steve finds himself nodding dumbly, still shocked at the rapid turn of events.

“Okay,” Steve says, kind of breathless.

Eddie heads back to finish cleaning up his other tables before he ends his shift, and Steve fills Robin in over text about what happened.

He’s still waiting for a response when Eddie shows back up with two plates of food, setting one in front of Steve and the other where his date sat before sliding into the chair across from him.

He’s wearing a different shirt, Steve realizes. It also looks like he attempted to wrangle his curly hair into something more manageable, maybe sprayed some water on it to smooth it down.

The thought that this guy, this random guy who happened to be his waiter on this horrific night, would put in more effort than his previous date makes Steve's cheeks get hot.

Maybe this night really can turn around.

“Alright, names. Hi, I'm Eddie.” Eddie says, sticking his hand out across the table cartoonishly for a handshake. Steve suppresses a laugh and takes Eddie’s hand with a smile.

“Steve.” He says, and Eddie’s eyes brighten before he takes his hand back.

“So, Steve, what do you do for fun?” Eddie says, leaning forward slightly with vibrant confidence, tone feeling more and more noticeably rehearsed as he goes. “Other than light up the room with that smile, of course.”

Steve huffs a laugh, blushing despite himself.

“You practice that one a lot?”

Eddie shrinks back a little, still smiling even as he messes with the hair on the back of his neck, already starting to ruffle what he’d tried to tame.

“Yeah, it’s uh…”

“It’s sweet.” Steve leans in a little closer himself, trying to match the effort Eddie keeps putting in. “Almost as sweet as the smile you're wearing.”

Eddie flushes pink and lets out a little “Thank you” to cover a nervous laugh—and christ, Steve is already hooked.

Steve hums and grabs his fork to start eating and Eddie mirrors him.

“Thank you for this by the way.” Steve continues, “Tonight's been… ugh, you know.”

“A special kind of shitty?”

“Yeah,” Steve sighs, “So all this is… really nice.”

“I'm glad.” Eddie says, voice soft before he shrugs and continues casually “M’hoping I’ll at least do better than the last guy.”

“Yeah, of course, you haven’t even asked me to blow you yet or anything.”

Eddie turns red and busts out a nervous laugh, looking away immediately. God, he’s so fucking cute.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm not–” Eddie looks back at him, nervous still, but sincere anyway, “That's not exactly my style.”

“You a wine and dine kinda guy?”

Eddie shrugs lightly, then he seems to get an idea, leaning in again with a smile “Actually– ideally, I'm a dine and mine kinda guy.”

A smile takes over Steve’s face that he can’t fully tamp down, a little flustered and a lot amused.

Eddie preens, then continues with a shy smile.

“Though, uh, usually it's more dine and…” Eddie pauses, “Pine. Dine and pine. You know, like pining.”

Steve makes his face relax as he nods and leans back. “Oh, yeah, like the tree.”

Eddie stops and looks at Steve, and soon Steve’s smile breaks out again.

“No, I know what you mean.” He says with a little laugh that Eddie quickly mirrors.

Eddie visibly relaxes, slouching overdramatically to the side with a sigh.

“God, I swear I’m usually good at this sort of thing, words and stories and shit,” He groans, gesturing around almost like he’s talking to himself, “But apparently I meet one pretty boy and suddenly I’ve got screws loose. And they’re all falling out, all across the floor, ‘there they go!’, y’know?”

Steve bites back a snicker and hums a quiet agreement. Eddie notices, though, looks up and sees right to Steve’s amusement, so Steve decides to save them both the embarrassment and move on.

“So your job. You like it here?

“Oh yeah, absolutely,” Eddie says, perking up and gesturing as he starts talking, “The owners are really cool, they were our neighbors– Wayne’s—my uncle’s—neighbors when I first moved in with him, way way back, and they were so chill, loved having people over. Then one time in highschool I mentioned saving up ‘cause I’m trying to make it big with my band, and they offered to give me a job here while we get there.”

“That’s awesome. Your band any good?”

“Depends on who you ask.” Eddie laughs, playing with the food on his plate, “Wayne says we’re pretty good, which is probably the equivalent of moms showing up to their toddler’s dance recitals, but it’s something.”

“Where'd you guys play?”

“The Hideout, a couple blocks down…”

Steve nods.

“Yeah, it’s, uh, pretty fun if you ever wanted to stop by.“

“Sounds like a great second date.”

Eddie blushes, playing with his hair again as he smiles and looks away.

“I’ll probably have to wear earplugs– not because of your band or–”

“No, no, no, you’re good–” Eddie says, almost jumping up to reassure him, “It’s metal, that’s normal– good, even.”

“Oh– good.” Steve says, a bit awkwardly, and looks back down to his food.

Eddie leaves barely a moment of silence before he pulls the conversation back together.

“So what about you? You just a professional bad-Tinder-dater?”

Steve huffs and fiddles with his fork.

“Guidance counselor, actually.”

“Oh damn, really?”

“Yeah, Middle school.”

“Oh god,” Eddie groans playfully, “I can't imagine going back there willingly.”

“Yeah, I mean, it can get pretty rough,” Steve shrugs, “It's good though. Kids start thinking about who they are, I get to try and make that a little less shitty.”

“That’s a tall order.” Eddie laughed into his glass. “I respect it though. Hell, just having a queer adult exist around me would’ve made a lot of it easier.”

“God, yeah. I've got practice, at least, for when they need more than just some guy standing around in an office.” he laughed, pulling out sarcastic air quotes for the next part, “ I ‘babysat’ kids in middle school before I graduated. Bunch of little shits but they were good kids– still are good. They're like four years younger than me though, so they're more like siblings than kids.”

“Yeah, bet they don't take well to ‘kids’.”

“Oh, they hate it.” Steve laughed and Eddie followed with him, “Always hated it, but Dustin put his foot down after highschool. Rob and I call them my ‘twenty-somethings’ now.”

“God, wait, how old are you?” Eddie laughed

“Twenty-six.”

Eddie laughed a little louder, a lively and full laugh that looked enchanting on Eddie.

“You'd love them, they're all–

Steve’s phone buzzes.

Both of them look over to it on the table. Steve moves it to the seat next to him, looked up to Eddie with an apologetic smile.

His phone buzzes again.

And again, and soon Eddie’s eyes flick in that direction, eyebrow quirking with barely-restrained curiosity.

Then Steve’s phone starts ringing, the electric guitars of Hammer To Fall creeping up in volume way too fast for comfort.

“Sorry–” Steve cringes, grabbing his phone and answering the call in a furious whisper, “Robin, are you dying?”

“No, but thank you for confirming that you aren’t.”

“I texted you what happened.”

“Yeah and it was vague as hell! I reserve the right to be a worrywart with this shit.”

“Yeah, I know.” Steve sighs, but can’t really argue with her on it. “This was going well, though–”

“Is.” Eddie chimes in, not trying to be loud enough for the phone to pick it up, just for Steve to hear him clearly.

“Is going well.” Steve smiles.

“Oooo okayyy.” Robin hums and Steve can hear her cheeky smile through the phone.

“Goodbye, Robin.” Steve says, failing a half-assed attempt to cover his amusement.

“Oh wait no, tell him if he tries anything I’ll–”

“M’not doing that.”

“I will though, I’ll go after him–”

“Oh woah you’re breaking up, can’t hear you.” Steve deadpans.

“Steve, I know–”

“Love you, bye–”

“Steeeeve–”

“Don’t pull your hair out.” Steve says and hangs up, coming back to the present to Eddie watching him, thankfully looking amused instead of annoyed.

“Sorry about that.” Steve says.

“No, no, it’s fine.” Eddie leans forward again, propping his head up in one hand, “So… friend?”

“Best friend, has to be to get away with shit like that so easily.”

Eddie snorts.

“What was she calling about?”

“I wasn’t clear that this new date thing was gonna be a good thing.”

Eddie nods civilly.

“She worries,” Steve continues, “Fuckin’ tinder dates, y’know?”

“Uh, not really….” Eddie smiles.

“Good for you. They’re all the same asshole in a different haircut.” Steve says, and Eddie smiles, laughing a little with him before continuing with something calmer, a little more earnest.

“Then why keep going to them?”

Steve shrugs.

“Call me an optimist, I guess.”

Eddie hums noncommittally, like he’s thinking more than he’s sharing, and continues the conversation in a lighter direction.

_

The rest of the date is wonderful. A little less chaotic, especially once they start finally eating their food for real, but what it lacks in eventfulness it makes up for in comfort. They’re not exactly quiet, but Eddie’s energy always comes with a sincerity underneath, like he’s bold and fun because he just is, and not because he’s making himself be.

It’s refreshing. And as the night goes on, it becomes intoxicating.

So when Eddie offers to save him the Lyft fee and just drive Steve home, Steve agrees, just to get a little longer in Eddie’s bubble.

Eddie leads him through the restaurant and out the back into a small parking lot with a handful of cars and one big van, decorated with a clearly hand-painted dragon on the side. Which, of course, ends up being Eddie’s.

“Dustin would love this thing.” Steve says as he hops into the passenger’s seat, not really thinking twice about it as he looks at the interior, eyes lingering on the big fuzzy dice with too many sides hanging from the mirrors.

“So Dustin is…?”

“A Twenty-something.” Steve laughs as he spins the fuzzy dice to see all of its sides. “He’s like my little brother. Loves DnD and science and… all the nerd shit.”

“Nerd shit?”

“Yeah, I mean– it's not my thing but it’s cool. I’ve played with Dustin and them a couple times.”

“Oooo, a bit of a nerd, are we?” Eddie hums in a weird, almost witchy voice.

“Casually.”

“Mmm, but you’re already down the path~~”

“Just drive, dude.” Steve says with a fond eye roll.

“As you wish, your majesty.” Eddie hums in his normal voice, giving Steve a glowing glance before shoving the keys in.

“Alright, I'm about to push your nerd-tolerance to its limits.” Eddie says, pulling out his phone with a grin. He connects it to the car and quickly turns it down before drums and guitar erupt from the speakers, and Steve flinches at the volume.

“Sorry, sorry.” Eddie whispers and turns down the music again.

Steve nods, and after a second of the music playing much more quietly, he finds it much more comfortable. Nice, even. The energy is quick and alive like Eddie is, though the aggressive vocals fit his outward aesthetic more than his borderline goofy demeanor.

“It’s not the music, I promise.” Steve says, saying it casually but meaning it sincerely.

“You’re fine, I get it.” Eddie laughs, a little too cynically for Steve’s liking.

“No, I–” Steve reaches for Eddie’s hand between them, intertwining fingers and bringing both hands up between them, “I’m serious, I like it. My head’s a little sensitive, been hit a few too many times, but it’s nice. It’s bold and very energetic… stuff that I already like about you.”

Eddie blushes hard—a sweet cherry pink—as he slouches, bringing their joined hands closer to his face like he’s trying to hide behind them. Eddie rests his forehead against the back of Steve’s hand and huffs a quiet laugh.

“God, you’re quite the charmer, Stevie.” Eddie says, and Steve finds his face warming too.

“And I’m guessing it’s working?” Steve laughs.

Eddie looks up at him, smiling wide.

“Oh, it’s working very well.” Eddie says, and brings their hands closer to him again to plant a soft kiss onto Steve’s hand.

Steve’s face goes warm again, lights him on fire, and Eddie’s smile turns slightly smug before he looks away.

“Alright,” Eddie says, looking back to the front to drive but not letting go of Steve’s hand. He even reaches his left arm over to change the gears, leaning into how silly he looks to make Steve laugh.

It’s sweet, it's genuine, and it's everything to Steve.

Eddie starts driving, hand still firmly holding onto Steve’s, neither of them willing to let go first. Steve looks at it as Eddie drives, splitting most of his attention between their hands, Eddie’s profile lit up by the colorful city lights, and the road ahead as he navigates Eddie to his apartment.

And if they miss a turn or two because Steve’s tired brain doesn’t want to watch the damn road? Eddie doesn’t mention it.

_

“Alright.” Eddie says, putting the car into park with his left hand again, though far less comically now.

He sits there for a second, quiet like something’s on his mind, so Steve waits.

“Okay, uh,” Eddie starts, looking vaguely down as he wanders through what he wants to say, “I had fun, I’m assuming by how the nights gone that you did, too…”

Steve squeezes Eddie's hand, and Eddie laughs.

“I had a really great time. And I want to do this again, if you want to.” Eddie glances up at Steve for a second before his eyes dart away again. “But I want to be sure you’re… you’re not being an optimist with me. That you want want this, y’know, because you're an amazing guy, Stevie. I don’t know how you keep having such shit luck but believe me when I tell you it's not because of you.”

Eddie looks back up at him again and keeps his gaze there, looking more relaxed now.

“So, uh, I would love to take you out again.” Eddie says, “If you want to.”

If he wants to, as if that's not the most romantic thing Steve’s heard in his life.

Steve almost says that. He also debates kissing him or pulling him into an awkward hug over the center console that he’s sure would be put up with no matter how uncomfortable it’d be. But Steve doesn’t, because Eddie continues before Steve can make a decision.

“What do you want?”

Steve resists the urge to say a cheesy ‘You’ and thinks about it, really thinks so he can put together words that make sense, so he can give Eddie a real answer.

“I want a long relationship. A real one, y’know?”

Eddie nods.

“And I want to get married, someday. I want someone who’ll stay that long, who will love and let me love them, all cheesy and clingy and shit.”

Eddie hums, searching Steve’s face.

“And?”

Steve looks down at the joined hands between them.

“And I’d love if it were you. You’re sweet, so sweet, but you’re also… alive. Everything you do, you’re…” Steve thinks hard for a moment, working out how to phrase it. “It’s like the world doesn’t weigh you down. And you’re so genuine and you’ll come and say what you mean like it’s nothing, and I think every one of the people in my life—my favorite people—would love being around you almost as much as I do.”

Steve looks back up to him, face hot with another intense flush, and tries to smile casually.

“Hate to break it to you, dude, but you’re kinda my perfect man.”

Eddie huffs a breathy laugh, face painted with disbelief and wonder.

“Okay, then. Case closed.”

“Yeah,” Steve hums, with as much fondness as possible. Steve leans in across the center console, bringing a hand up slowly, trying to signal that he’s leaning in for a kiss.

It takes Eddie a second, and Steve gets to watch him look down at Steve’s hand and look at Steve leaning in, gets to see the moment it clicked before Eddie lunges to meet him halfway and then some, making the hand that was supposed to cradle Eddie’s face hold onto the seat beneath him to keep their balance.

Eddie kisses him hard at first, bringing a hand up to card through Steve’s hair, excited and alive. Then Eddie seems to come back to his senses, moving back but taking Steve with him until they’re both leaning over the center again.

Their kiss softens, intensity melting out into fondness, gentle but passionate, warm and Steve wants to melt from it.

Still, Steve’s going home tonight, going to go upstairs to Robin and tell her all about it. He’ll get to have a good night's sleep in a bed that doesn’t need cleaning, and he’ll get to wake up to the idea of something new brewing fresh in his mind.

Steve pulls back gently and Eddie does the same, eyes flicking open one after the other, a smile on Steve’s face and another lighting up Eddie’s.

Steve catches his breath, feeling lighter now than he has in ages, and Eddie opens his mouth to say something again.

“Does this mean I can get your number?”

[reblogor]

the western zodiac signs...my ranking (women)

Virgo: Can be kind of mean/standoffish but tend to be some of the best, most consistent friends. Probably secretly judgmental but if you value a secure friendship with someone who will show up for you when they say they will, Virgo is the way to go.

Cancer: Consistently some of the most considerate people when you're close with them. Very interesting and always has lots of wisdom/stories to share!

Libra: Overall keep-the-peace kind of people, but sometimes this means lying or being overly conflict-avoidant in an un-evolved Libra (especially October Libras). Can also be very flaky/flighty. This is one sign where both birth month and moon sign matters A LOT in the type of person you're gonna get.

Leo: Big personalities, they love you if you love them, fun and funny! Can be randomly kind of mean but it truly is random.

Pisces: I've only met one that I know of and she was very sweet but unfortunately struggled a lot with choosing the right romantic partners and being kind to herself. This is not a flaw. What is a flaw is not thinking for yourself.

Sagittarius: Can be very cool people, but sometimes a little too blunt. A LOT like their male counterparts. They have NO regard for your feelings but if you love them, you love them 😭

Scorpio: Something about them is very go-with-the-flow. I haven't had a scorpio woman as a friend in my adult life, so it's hard to place them, but generally speaking they're decent people.

Aries: Agreeable, interesting, and secretly really intelligent/nerdy. Unfortunately they can get very caught up in what other people think and not think for themselves. They're honestly not that bad but I just don't think I've met any who had a stronger impact on me than the people with the signs I ranked above this one.

Capricorn: The worst of the women I've met but also weirdly consistent. They're like if all the bad parts about Sagittarius had a baby with the worst parts of Libra, yet once you're friends the relationship can kind of just go on forever. A lot of my problems with them I'm sure are due to my own sign being in conflict with them...

Gemini: They can be interesting to talk to but they're overall too inconsistent and very judgmental for absolutely no reason.

Aquarius: Too unstable and don't know what they want. Get into friendships and relationships with no idea who they are and exit them just as smoothly without even considering the other person's feelings about it. Too blunt for their own good (worse than Sags because they're not even funny with it lol). The only thing I'll give them is they'll always find something to talk about and they tend not to be as bad as their male counterparts, though, again, they do not care about anyone's feelings but their own.

Left taurus off because I haven't knowingly been close with a female taurus since I was a child.

[daenysx]

those tiktok videos where couples are ranking types of kisses but it’s you and james 🧚🏻‍♀️✨😭 if you write it, thank you very much for your time ❤️

i hope i got this right, thank you for requesting, angel!! reblogs and comments are highly appreciated, please let me know what you think if you like this guys <33333

james potter x fem!reader, fluff (lots of kissing haha)

it's so easy to get james in the mood for trying a new tiktok ranking trend.

he's been obsessed with them lately, keeps trying different stuff just for fun when he waits for you to join him in bed at night. the funniest part of this for you is that he actually takes them so seriously, he gets visibly disappointed when he puts an option in the wrong place and regrets it later.

"i'm gonna show you something." you say, sitting on bed with your phone in your hand.

"what's that angel?" he asks, pulling you closer. "your hair smells amazing, come closer."

you settle down next to him and open the app on your phone. "we're gonna rank types of kisses."

"oh, that's new? i've never seen it."

"i just saw a couple doing it, thought you'd enjoy." you laugh.

"um-yes, please?" he says, seriously. god, you love him so much.

"okay." you hold the phone in front of you. "so, when a type of kiss appears on the screen, you'll give me that kiss and i'll rank."

james clearly likes the idea, he sits straighter on bed. you look at him before starting, he nods.

'neck kiss' appears on the screen and james gives you a perfect kiss on your neck. you love how he pays attention to your neck all the time so it's a clear favorite.

"this can actually be the first one." you say. "but no, three."

'hand kiss' comes next and james kisses your knuckles. "good?" he asks. "i feel like i'm under pressure."

you laugh. "gonna put it in number six."

next one is 'nose kiss', you cheekily rub your nose on james's. "you don't like this so much." he says.

"um, eight."

"i wonder which one will be ten."

'earlobe kiss' appears. "oh my god." you laugh. james kisses your earlobe and it's too loud. "that's ten."

you regret your decision when 'bite kiss' comes next. "no!" you laugh. "don't bite me."

"sorry, angel." he laughs. he bites your arm softly.

"nine."

you put 'top of the head kiss' on number four. "you could do better than that." you say to james, smiling.

"i definitely could." he agrees. "this is hard."

"okay, 'lip kiss' next, you gotta be quick."

james kisses your lips but he hates how there's not enough time. "gonna put it in two." you say. "but number two and number three are just so close, jamie, i'm not sure."

"that's okay, we're totally doing this every night, you can change that." he whispers against your ear playfully.

"oh, wait." you say. 'forehead kiss' comes next. it's definitely your favorite, james takes an extra second to keep his lips on your skin. "that's number one."

"you're so predictable, sweetheart."

"it's kind of your fault."

you put 'cheek kiss' on number five. it could be number four but you feel a bit distracted by james's lips, you have no strategy left.

"what's number seven, then?" james asks.

'french kiss' comes and you laugh so hard, you drop the phone. "yes!" james says, he laughs with you and change your positions on bed. "we're gonna have to do it, you know."

"yeah? for the game?"

"mm-hmm." he agrees. you lay under him now. "for the game."

the kiss is nice because james stops teasing and kisses you with all his heart. you cup his cheek, pull him closer on top of you. your breathing slows down when your tongues meet, james sucks on your bottom lips deliciously. when you're apart you can't get your thoughts straight.

"that's definitely not number seven." you whisper.

"if only i had this much time to do all the others-" james starts, kisses you again. you spend the next minutes kissing with your eyes closed and bodies entwined. your phone is long forgotten when james takes off your shirt.

[ivysangel]

expanding on this post except it's where dick, roy, jason, and wally fall in the frat ranking and why (this is just for fun, don't take it too seriously)

DICK

is ranked number one every year until he graduates (duh) because he's a borderline nympho and can't go a single night without getting his dick wet

pledges aspire to be him but he's seriously contemplated attending a sex addicts anonymous meeting because he skipped half his classes last semester to fuck girls on greek row and his grades suffered

has a collection of underwear he steals from girls to keep as trophies and had to change the spot where he keeps them because one of his frat brothers found them and went around the house telling everyone that dick wore women's panties

fucked that guys ex to spite him and got away with it because he's super hot and also the frat president (defintely a legacy pledge too)

has told girls "i love you" and "you're the only one for me" to get in their pants and has either ghosted or messaged them "it's not you, it's me" immediately after leaving their dorm

there are multiple hate posts about him in the gotham university subreddit and all of the upvotes are from girls he’s fucked

ROY

ranked in the lower half of the top 10 but is on a mission to break top 5

gets a lot of play just from being hot but also keeps a list of girls dick rejects so he can be the first to console them and subsequently get in their pants, has "i can make you feel better"ed his way into many hook ups

has a thing for girls with dark hair who play hard to get and has unironically sent to the frat group chat "i need a goth bitch in my life"

scared away multiple girls by wanting to fuck them in the ass and always follows it up with "aw come on??? it was a joke!" even though it's not a joke

came too fast once as a freshman and got nicknamed speedy

is still bitter about it and sometimes sends to the gc "lasted 2 hours, who's speedy now?" and everyone's like "still you."

JASON

isn't ranked at all and not because he doesn't get any play, just because he doesn't kiss and tell

fully thinks the ranking is corny but also takes pride in knowing that if his bodycount was made public he wouldn't be at the absolute bottom

hasn't slept with that many girls but has had so many blowjobs that he's sometimes wondered if his dick will start pruning like wet fingers

felt dumb wondering that so he doubled up on his bio classes the next semester and then hooked up with his ta because she was hot and smart

is like the only guy in the frat that cares about safe sex and has had to let his brothers know on multiple occasions that their junk isn't supposed to be red or itchy, and has had the pleasure of accompanying more than a few of them on trips to the std clinic

never tells anyone that he's dick's adoptive brother, so every time they go home together over break and he decides to text a girl, she always responds with, "you're not gay?"

WALLY

would be ranked low because he's a loser and has zero game/cannot function normally around hot girls and will make a fool of himself 97% of the time but his oral skills cancel it out so he's somewhere in the middle

is one of the first places girls go after breaking up with their shitty bf's because he's sweet and will go down on them for hours without expecting anything in return

once had a conversation with jason where he reffered to his girls as clients and jason said he "made it sound like prostitution"

once had a conversation with jason where he said his jaw was getting tired and he was thinking about charging for his “service” and jason said, "that would be actual prostitution"

has cum too quick on multiple occasions but didn't get a nickname because nobody was surprised

once hooked up with another ginger, and roy had to sit him down to tell him that it was fundamentally wrong and that he was never allowed to do it again or else he'd be kicked out of the frat