#it just reminds me of that one Chakwas scene

[5mcsinatrenchcoat]

Harding is the Hero of the Inquisition in the same way Shepard is the Hero of the Alliance.

In a way that no one, including the new game's UI apparently, calls her by her goddamn first name!

[shadoedseptmbr]

floating day wip

@painterofhorizons tagged me! Thank you <3  If anyone else is writing, feel free to be tagged!

 A scene from Reflections, then.  Garrus’ POV: 

o-o-o-o-o

A minute later he was in the elevator.  He hadn’t spent much time in the CIC on the first Normandy; he remembered a cramped efficient turian style map projector and human style stations surrounding the approach to the cockpit.  

This, like everything else on the SR2, was strangely open and cheerfully lit as an office block in the Presidium.  He’d already had to create a new ship setting for the visor to keep it from flaring every time he enters a new space.  The ship’s yeoman….Kelly?  Smiled brightly at him and he almost needed to dial the visor down another notch.  

“Mr. Vakarian!  Can I call you Garrus?”

He answered hesitantly, the bandages still slurring his speech. “Uh...Garrus is fine.”  

It’s not possible her smile got wider, but it did.  It was disconcerting, he’s suddenly reminded of the conversation he’d had with Wrex and Ashley down in the cargo bay when she’d told him about how only humans bared their teeth in friendship, among Earth’s mammals.  And sometimes it was a lie.

Shepard thought this woman was dangerous and Garrus thinks she’s right.  He’d met a few human psych-ops in his time.  This one was either really bad or so good at seeming obvious, it’d put you off your guard thinking she couldn’t be that stupid.

She moved forward like a salesperson at a car lot.  “Can I show you the CIC?  I know you were aboard the SR1 but…”

“As long as the cockpit is still in the same place, I’m fine.  Thank you, Ms. Chambers.”

“Oh, call me Kelly.”  And that little drop in her voice?  Yeah.  No.

Garrus tried to keep his walk nice and slow as he ran away.

He found Joker in the middle of a spat with the AI’s display.  

“Shepard,what do..” Joker caught the reflection in his haptic and broke off his appeal for support.  “Oh, hey Garrus.  Feeling better? Come to help me wage war against the overlord?”

“Something like that.”  He eyed the display and decided to ignore it.  Tali would lose her mind.  “Were you expecting Shepard?”

“Not really.  She only checks in after...well, only when she has to.  I don’t think the view is doing much for her, these days.”

He was not ready to tackle the way Joker trailed off, yet.  So he tried for humor, “Well, Joker, you look the same to me, but I was never good at deciding which Earth creature you were trying to camouflage as behind all that hair.”

“Ha. Ha.” 

“No, I’m just looking things over, thought I’d come say thanks again.”

“Well it was either that or let Shepard stew on the front step of the medbay and I was due for a scan, anyway. “ 

He wanted to ask how Joker got here, why it’s just him and Chakwas, where the rest of the crew is if they’re going after Reapers.  He settled for, “Have you heard from anyone else on the SR1?”

“Uh...Shepard ran into Tali, about three weeks back right after she woke up.  No one else though.” 

“Tali didn’t want to come with?”

“I don’t think Shepard asked.”  

The AI chimed in, “Tali’Zorah vas Neema was not requested to join the SR2 crew.  She implied prior knowledge of Cerberus’ activity and warned the Commander to “be careful.””

Both of them turned to look at the AI display.  “Shepard didn’t ask?” 

“She didn’t want me to come, either.” Garrus murmured.   

“Yeah.”  Joker made an adjustment to one of his myriad controls.  “Hey, Garrus...I…”

“Yeah, I think I’m glad I’m here, too.” 

[what-a-con]

a few things for fun.

So I wanted to write and thought “might as well make it relevant in my life right now” and anyway, I made a few quick drabbles about my Shepard, Lee Shepard. Mostly rewriting some scenes to be more in character for Lee. They are not all that good and none are beta’d but I figured someone else might enjoy them. There are only four but at least they are short.

UNC:Dead Scientists

“Don’t tell me who I am! You got away with a few scratches and a scary reputation! The rest of the unit died and I was tortured for years. You can’t judge me. You don’t have the right!”

Garrus was many things and observant was one of them. He saw how Shepard’s fist clenched in anger at the accusations. Everyone on the Normandy had heard of the “miraculous” survival of the Commander on Akuze. Once, Garrus even overheard Williams ask him how he handled it and he quickly changed the subject. 

“I am very well aware of what happened to the squad, Toombs, but if you kill him right here, then Akuze will just be another accident.” Shepard said in a voice that Garrus had never heard before. Correction. He did hear it once when they were discussing what to do about Saren. It was not angry but not calm either. It seemed plotting but also numb. Either way, it stopped the corpal before he pulled the trigger.

Shepard continues. “You pull that trigger and Akuze becomes just another terrible random thresher maw accident. Do they really deserve that? Ryans, Shapiro, Hazkai. Do they deserve being pushed away as another accident? Is that justice, Toombs?” Toombs is silent. The only sound was the whimpering of the scientists. Then Toombs put his gun down. “No. No they don’t. They don’t deserve that.”

“That’s what I like to hear, corporal. Let me give you a hand,” Shepard says as he takes the gun from the corporel. Garrus is a bit surprised that it worked. “We’ll go back to the Normandy and get you home, Toombs. And we will get him to the Alliance officials.”

“Commander, I-” is all the scientists gets out before Shepard punches him hard, putting him down. Garrus gives Shepard a look as the Specter simply shrugs and says “I didn’t shoot him.” 

“I’m surprised you didn’t,” Garrus admits.

“I meant what I said.” That is all Shepard says as they all make it back to the NOrmandy, with Wrex carrying the unconscious scientist. They do not speak of this incident again.

Later, two weeks after the galaxy was saved and Garrus began his Specter training, he got an extranet story about a Cerberus scientist testifying to the Alliance but getting immunity in exchange for his info. Not one second later, the story updated that the scientists had been killed as he left the courthouse. The picture they showed was of the dead man with a shot right in the right pterion. A perfect kill shot.

Garrus couldn’t help but compliment the placement. Shepard always did favor the right side. 

Downtime on the Normandy

On a rare moment looking up from his station, Kaiden looks up to see Dr Chakwas, Miss T’soni and Officer Nash from Engineering walk by carrying, of all things, yoga mats. And they all seemed to be heading to the Commander’s office.

Kaiden stood there for a few moments before curiosity got the best of him and he followed them to the office.

Inside seemed to be an impromptu yoga class. A few other crewmen were already there, including, to his surprise, Ashley. 

“Chief Williams?” Kaiden says in surprise. Ashley tenses up a bit before facing Kaiden. She was not expecting him to show up while she was in her work out clothes.

Dr Chakwas is glad to see one of her favorite patience. “Alenko, it is good to see you. Will you be joining us today?”

“What is this?”

“What does it look like?” Ashley says sharply, still embarrassed. She adds “Sir” as an afterthought.

Dr Chakwas finds it amusing but continues “Yoga is a great exercise not only to increase flexibility and improve cardiovascular health, but it is a good way of relieving anxiety and improving respiration. You might want to give it a try.”

“Um, I think I’m good. Does the Commander know you are using his office?” Kaiden asks, a bit amused.

“Actually, he-” Ashley begins before the office door opens and in steps the Commander. He is also carrying a mat and, much to Kaiden’s surprise, is wearing what is for sure a work out outfit.

“Alenko, good to see you. Are you here to join us?” the Commander asks.

Shorts. Very short shorts. T-shirt. Very tight t-shirt.

“Alenko?”

“Sir! I mean, no thank you, sir. I-I have a few items I need to finish. Thank you, though.” Kaiden quickly leaves before he says something embarrassing and unprofessional. As he leaves, he observes. He is very good at observing. And what he observes is almost everyone in the office (except perhaps the good doctor herself) staring at the Commander with an appreciative expression. Now he feels even more embarrassed. Maybe some work will help him calm down.

I Remember Me 

“Liara, Tali. You two mind waiting here?” Lee asks as casually as he can to his two heavily armed friends. Tali looks skeptical but says “If that is what you wish, commander.” Liara hesitates but nods. ‘“Ok. If you wish,” she says, a little worried. Shepard smiles in such a casual way she can almost ignore how sad his eyes are. “Don’t worry. She is only a danger to herself right now.”

Shepard hands the two his weapons and walks toward the girl. Liara and Tali both hold their breath as they watch the scene unfold from the side.

The girl points the gun in her hand at the Commander. “S--Stop! What do you--What are you?”

Shepard puts his hands in the air. “My name is Shepard. What do I call you?”

“Animals don’t get names,” the girl answers as best she can. “The masters put their symbols on her. Hot metal all over her back. She screams when they do it.”

Shepard's hands seem to twitch. “Think back to the before. You must have had a name your parents called you.”

“T-Talitha. They called her Talitha. She does not remember the rest.”

“Talitha. Ok, Talitha. Let’s start simply. How did you get her, Talitha?” He speaks to her in an even tone. Not as though he is talking to an frightened child but as if he was talking to an old friend. Which, if the file Liara read on him is correct, he might just well be. 

“She can’t escape. They have chains. Wires. Needles. You go too far, they take your brains away. Animals like her come. Come with guns. Make the masters explode. She tries to fix the masters, so they won't be mad. But they don’t move. The other animals take her.”

“And now you are here. What was the before, Talitha. Think back to the before.”

Talitha lowers her gun. She seems to be somewhere else for a moment. “Fires. Smell of smoke and  burning meat. Animals screaming as the master's cage them. As they put the metal on their backs. Put the wires in their brains. She pretends to be dead. If she is dead, she cannot work. But they know. She hope’s they’ll leave. But they put her in the pin.

“Clever girl. Pretending to be dead like that. I am so sorry it did not work. But that was the right thing to do.”

“S-she doesn’t want to be there anymore. In the pin. In the cage.”

Shepard takes a cautious step forward.

Talitha raises her gun again. “No! She’s no good! Don’t want to be handled again!”

Shepard stops in his tracks. Liara finds herself not breathing as he does.

Talitha hits her head in frustration. “No! She doesn’t want to see the other animals! They’re not real. They can’t be real. They can’t see her. If the animals can see her, then this is real. But it can’t be. The wires. The chains. The hitting. This doesn’t happen to her. It’s another girl. A dirty girl. A stupid girl! She deserves it!”

“I only see you, Talitha. That girl is you and she is not stupid or dirty or bad.

Talitha once again puts her gun down. “It--it happens to her. Doesn’t it? They see her, so it’s real. She doesn't want it to be real.”

“I’m so sorry, Talitha.  I know you don’t want it to be real, but it was. You will not be able to deal with this unless you look at it.” He moves a little closer.

“Sh-she doesn’t want to see that! Don’t make her look. Don’t look. Stupid, stupid! Stop! Don’t touch her!”

Shepard stops as soon as she says to. “Talitha, do you remember anyone else on Mindior? You parents? Your friends?”

Talitha once again hits her head. “When she thinks, water comes out of her eyes. The masters beat her when she wastes water. So she doesn’t think anymore. Sh-she seems them. She sees them all.”

“You had an older brother, right? Gregario?”

Talitha stops and looks at Shepard, eyes widened. “Y-yes. He yells. Run. Hide. He-he’s melting. How? How?” “I was there, Talitha. On Mindior. My mother was the teacher at the school you most likely went to.”

Talitha raises her gun at Shepard, point blank in his face. Tali moves to go forward but Liara stops her. “What are you-” 

“We have to trust him,” is all Liara says as she squeezes Tali’s arm, scared as well. Tali stops when she sees how scared Liara is as well.

“Liar!” Talitha screams “You get hit for lying. Get the buzz or the burning. Can’t have been there! Why are you alive? Why aren’t you like them? Why aren’t you like her? Broken. Only fit to dig and carry.”

Shepard takes a moment and says nothing. Then he answers. “There was a time when I was broken, Talitha. When I asked the same questions you did. For the longest time, I was only rage and fear and paranoia. I was so angry at everyone. But mostly, I was angry at myself for living. Someone saw what was happening and reached out to me. They reminded me that I was alive and here. And I promised to stay that way, if only because I had to be. Because if I don’t stay alive, then someone else will break like I did. Talitha, you are here. You are alive. Let me help you. Let me reach out to you.”  Shepard slowly reaches out his open hand towards Talitha.

Talitha pauses and lowers the gun again. “You don’t dig. You don’t carry. You stand up. She wishes she could stand up.”

“Only because someone offered me a hand up. Being broken means you can be fixed, Talitha. I’m going to reach for something, ok?” he asks Talitha nods. Shepard reaches into his storage on his belt and pulls out the sedative. “This will make you sleep and when you do, you will be taken to a place where others can help you. Will you take it?”

Talitha looks at the sedative. She then drops her gun and takes it with no hesitation. “Will she--will I dream?” she asks as the sedative quickly acts.

“No dreams, Talitha. None whatsoever. And when you wake up, you’ll get to start learning how to stand again.”

Talitha smiles sweetly as she passes out. Shepard catches her before she hits the ground.

Liara finds her breath coming back to her. “Keelah,” is all Tali says and Liara can’t help but agree with her. She knew the commander as a leader. As a warrior. As someone who can hack a terminal after convincing the guards to look away. But this was a side she had yet seen. And it took her breath away.

After the grounding of the Normandy

The sound of the slamming of the locker jarred Kaiden a bit. This whole situation has been jarring. From the Council's refusal to help to Udine grounding the Normandy. It was actually the first time he had ever seen the Commander---ever seen Shepard lose his cool in public. 

“You son of a bitch!” Shepard yells in mighty anger. “You double crossed me!” Udine looks unimpressed. “I think you should return to your ship, Commander.” Shepard clutches his fists and nearly steps towards Udine but Admiral Anderson takes a step between them. This stops Shepard in his tracks. “If you think you can fucking get away with this, Ambassador, you’ve got another thing coming.” is all the commander says as he turns to leave, Kaiden on his heels as he does.

Kaiden finds Shepard in front of the supply lockers, back to the now all closed lockers. The Commander’s face is burning with anger. Kaiden hesitates for a moment but decides to approach him. After all, they have been growing friendly during this mission. The Commander was always asking his opinion about things and was always willing to listen. Kaiden had seen how hard he worked, how much he fought for this mission. How hard the calls he had to make where. He had every right to be angry.

“Commander?” Kaiden finally asked. “What is it, Alenko?” Shepard said snappily before quickly saying “Wait, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t take this out on you.” “I can understand being frustrated.”

Shepard gives a humorless laugh. “Frustrated is the smallest word for it.” Shepard sighs. “...everyone has worked so hard. Sacrificed so much. Being stuck here...it feels like it was for nothing….it can’t be for nothing. Saren can’t win. It can’t be over.”

Kaiden finds himself against the lockers as well, listening to someone who is normally so reserved in his feelings open up to him. He couldn’t help it. He saw how hard Shepard had worked.

“Sir, everyone knows this is not your fault. You have done everything you could.’’ A silence beats on for a moment. “On Feros, I saw you do whatever you could to help the colonists there. We had a mission we had to complete but you took the time to help them. And when it came time to get to the Thoryn, you did whatever you could to keep its victims alive. Everywhere our mission took us you did what you could to help those around you. Even when it was hard and any other commander would have lost patience. We-I know how hard you have worked. No one else could have done as much as you have. And I know it’s not over until you say it is.”

The look Shepard gives him is enough that Kaiden suddenly feels very embarrassed. Maybe he was out of line. But then the smallest of smiles appeared on the commanders face and it was all worth it.

“Alenko, I-” a buzz came from the comm. “Commander, you have a message from Admiral Anderson,” Joker announces over the comms. “What is it, Joker?” asks Shepard, back in professional mode. “He says to meet him at the nightclub Flux.” “Alright. Thank you, Joker.” 

Shepard opens the locker behind him and slips his pistol on. “Would you like some back up, Commander?” Kaiden asks, standing at the ready. “No need. Wrex and Tali went ashore earlier. I’ll meet them at the elevator.”

As Shepard turns to leave, he stops. “Thank you, Kaiden. I mean it.”

“Anytime, Commander.”

“...you know, you can call me by my name if you want to. You won't get in trouble,” Shepard says with a hint of a playful tone.

“If you say so, Com-Shepard” Kaiden corrects himself, which earns him another hint of a smile. As the commander heads to the airlock, Kaiden wonders if the feeling in his chest that appeared when Shepard said his name will let up.

[esseastri]

Literally everyone: AAHH MASS EFFECT ANDROMEDA!!!! Me, seven years late with starbucks: so, I just finished ME2 and yowza, guys

.

Okay, so some of you might remember that a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (oh shit wrong fandom), I was liveblogging Mass Effect 2. For various personal reasons, I stopped the liveblog some time ago--I jumped ship and liveblogged all three Dragon Age games, and then, when I was meant to pick the ME2 blog back up, some personal shit happened and it was easier for me to just finish the game without the liveblog. I’m sorry if you were looking forward to live Suicide Mission reactions, but I can provide, in bullet point form, a summary of what would have been the end of the liveblog if I’d been able to finish it properly!

(Having now written it up, I guarantee, you’re not missing anything by this not being an immediate liveblog--it is JUST as funny this way, I promise!!)

It did get quite long, so here it is, under the cut:

I successfully scanned/probed every. planet. in the galaxy. I’m not joking. Every single one.

This made for a lot of boring scanning time, but it also revealed a lot of sidequests--all of which I completed. 

This included taking out the entirety of the Blue Suns mercenary operation via fucking up their fake-distress-signal trap and stealing their stolen cargo after killing off several of their captains.

Also I stopped some missiles from crashing into a small colony? I think?

I successfully completed every sidequest that had anything to do with quarians.

Samara’s loyalty mission!

I flirted with her daughter so badly it was embarrassing, but hey, that’s the way to bait serial killers into getting KO’d by their moms, so...

Thane’s loyalty mission:

I’m still genuinely surprised that that security guard honestly believed I was a health inspector are you kidding me I’m fully armed and armored how does this outfit say ‘health inspector’ to you pls I fear for the security of the Citadel

But hey, we stopped the kid from killing anyone, so that’s good.

Also, what is up with my squadies having kids who want to murder people who we have to prevent from murdering people? Guys. This is bad parenting. Pls. 

I scanned some more planets and did a few more sidequests.

Miranda’s loyalty mission:

there was some hinky shit with this whole situation, but it’s Miranda: of course there was hinky shit. But I’m glad her sister was WAY Chiller about the situation than I thought she was going to be.

I AM SAD I MISSED THE PARAGON QUICK-TIME-BUTTON AND MIRANDA MURDERED HER CHILDHOOD BESTIE THAT WAS VERY UPSETTING AND I’M NOT ABOUT THAT LIFE

Jacob’s loyalty mission:

TALK ABOUT HINKY SHIT WITH THE WHOLE SITUATION

tbqh, I’m still not 100% sure what the fuck happened on that mission. I got the toxic food made people wacky, but I’m unclear on the ten-year wait before activating the distress beacon. You cannot have just been chilling like a king while the crew got slowly more poisoned for ten years and been having a good time. Bro, pls.

I’m v glad Jacob was chill with me throwing his dad in jail.

I did some more sidequests. I cannot stress enough how many fuckin sidequests I completed.

LEGION: hoooo boy. 

1. I fucking hate husks and fighting husks and getting swarmed by husks and dying a lot but it’s fine, I’m fine

2. Geth still make me nervous. I understand that there are good geth and bad geth, but I spent waaayyy too long fighting that Colossus on Therum in game 1 to fully be okay with them.

3. Tali’s non-reaction was the most ridiculous and out of character anything in the Bioware universe. There was NO REACTION AT ALL to us activating a geth on board a ship that has an AI installed on it. And no reaction to us recruiting that geth. The only reaction we got--finally, AFTER FINISHING Legion’s mission--was her anger over Legion trying to send info on the Flotilla to the geth. Which, yes, warranted a reaction, but sO DID A LOT OF OTHER STUFF. And the fact that Bioware was too lazy to write Tali some reactions to this geth just chillin’ in our AI Core offends me deeply.

4. Legion’s mission: I really, really didn’t want to do either option, tbh. One felt like genocide and one felt like mind control and I was 100% not there for either of those versions of events. (I eventually decided to blow up the station: see point 2 above.)

The second EDI was like “u should take everyone on the shuttle; the ship will be fine!” I was like, “OH JESUS FUCK NOTHING WILL EVER BE ‘FINE’ AGAIN”

There is nothing--nothing--more #relateable than Joker running through the ship as it’s getting attacked by Collectors and just repeating “shitshitshitshitshit” for the entire time. 

It was about this time that I realized the next THING was the Omega-4 Relay and I had to do some googling. Did you know that the Mass Effect Wikia is 100% Useless when it comes to figuring out how to get through the Suicide Mission without getting anyone killed?

I spent a lot of time being TERRIFIED that I’d somehow missed a ship upgrade, even though there was no possible way for me to have missed a ship upgrade.

GARRUS AND I FINALLY DID THE DO. THERE WERE CANON FOREHEAD TOUCHES. HE WAS A NERD. IT WAS SO FUCKIN CUTE I DIED. IT WAS SO CUTE.

The fight with the Oracle in the basement was waaayy chiller than I thought it was going to be, and my sister, from across the room, just laughed and reminded me that I was playing on Casual mode.

The briefing room scene: 

Miranda: “We’re going to have to split up into several groups.”

Me: “Worst. Idea. Ever.”

Miranda: “You have to pick someone to go in the vents. I volunteer!”

Jacob: “I also volunteer!” 

Me: “Ahh, thanks, but I’ma send Legion, ‘cause Legion is the best tech guy we could possibly ever have? Considering it IS...tech?”

Miranda: “Ugh, fine. Pick someone to lead the second squad. Again, I volunteer.”

Me: “That’s nice. Hey Garrus, darling--meet me at that fucking door, and you better be alive, babe.”

Garrus: “Sure thing, babe.”

Miranda: “Uuughhh, at least we know he knows what he’s doing. Fine.”

SO WE SET OFF INTO THE COLLECTOR BASE, SPLIT UP INTO SEVERAL GROUPS, AND I ALMOST HYPERVENTILATED OUT OF NERVES AND MADE MYSELF COUGH.

I got Legion through the vents without it melting.

I spent a lot of time reminding myself that if you murder all the collector drones before you kill Harbinger, then you only have to kill Harbinger once, as opposed to once for every drone in the room.

There was a terrifying moment at the first locked door, when I was very certain we were all going to die.

No one died.

I WAS REALLY WORRIED THE CREW HAD BEEN LIQUEFIED BUT THEY WEREN’T, I SAVED THEM ALL! IT WAS AMAZING!

Also, the liquefying was suuppper gross and unnecessary, thanks Bioware.

The First Regrouping scene:

EDI: “Sorry, guys, but you need to go through that hallway full of seeker swarms, good fucking luck.”

Samara: “I could probably make a biotic barrier and keep them off us? It’ll be slow, but I can do it.” Miranda: “SO COULD I. Any biotic could do it! I VOLUNTEER!”

Me: “Uh, it was Samara’s idea, soooo...she’s gonna do it.”

Miranda: “FIIIINNE. Someone has to be a distraction and go the other way, though. I fucking volunteer, goddamit, Shep, just let me do my fucking job.” 

Me: “Garrus. Darling. Babe. Be safe.”

Garrus: “Sure thing, babe.”

Miranda: “I’m. going. to. stab. you.” Doctor Chakwas: “Can someone get us back to the ship? We’re all in really bad shape.” Miranda: “We do not have people to spare, sorry.” Me: “Hey, Mordin, I love you, but you are not extra great in combat. Want to escort mission this shit?” Mordin: “Good idea. Joker: need coordinates for pick up.” Miranda: “GOOD. LET’S GO. WE’VE GOT SHIT TO KILL. COME ON.”

At this point, I did feel a little bad for Miranda, but listen: I googled who was best for what, okay. Everyone had to live, okay.

We hiked it through the seeker swarm hallway and it was actually a really cool mechanic! I was impressed!

Thane kept getting into cover outside the protective bubble though, ‘cause he’s a doofus, and Tali and I were just like “pls, son, get inside and stay alive, we can’t take all these collectors just the two of us. I mean, we can, but it’ll go much faster with you helping. get inside the bubble. pls.”

I legitimately thought Samara was going to die of exhaustion before we reached the door. I assume that if she’s not Loyal, she might die there? But everyone was super loyal so it was fine, but I WAS WORRIED.

I had a heart attack when Garrus called for help and we had to bust down the door and save him and the other squad and I WAS SO WOORRRIIEEDD

AND THEN IT LOOKED LIKE HE GOT SHOT IN THE STOMACH AND I LITERALLY SCREAMED I WAS SO TERRIFIED BUT HE WAS FINE AND IT WAS FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE

It didn’t happen, because the game doesn’t support public displays of affection, but if you think that Gen didn’t grab Garrus’ face and kiss the fuck out of him once she’d decided he was alive and not shot, then you and I are not watching the same show.

So, after the traumatized, mid-battle kiss: 

The amount to which I wanted a v small, v scared scene in which Shep got to say a non-goodbye to the LI she is leaving to cover the door as she goes on ahead is astronomical, but the game did not provide, so I’m just going to have to fanfic the shit out of this.

The fucking human-reaper-larva was NASTY AF and I took half a look at it and went “NOPE, I’MA TAKE MY GLASSES OFF AND DO THIS FIGHT BLIND”

my sister laughed at me

I realized after two seconds that that wasn’t going to work ‘cause I couldn’t see the adds, and I had to murder them, too, sooo I put my glasses back on, and it was AWFUL

The “shoot the canisters” part of the fight was SOOOO easy, I was v concerned that I’d messed something up because it was so simple? Just waves of collectors? and then it just FALLS? I was Suspicious.

The Illusive Man chimed in with a “haven’t you people ever heard of working toward goddamned human supremacy” and wanted me to SAVE??? the collector base???? for “““RESEARCH”““???

So I said, “yeah, that’s fucking dumb, we’re not going to do that” and set the place to blow the fuck up

AND THEN I HAD TO FIGHT THE FUCKING TERRIFYING HUMAN REAPER THING AND IT WAS GROSS AND DIFFICULT BUT I WON IT WAS GR9 I DIDN’T EVEN DIE ONCE!!! OR RUN OUT OF AMMO!! IT WAS AMAZING! A MIRACLE!

So then everything blew up and THE PLATFORM STARTED FALLING AND I 100% FOR SURE THOUGHT TALI WAS DEAD

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TERRIFIED I WAS

I STARTED CRYING IMMEDIATELY AND THEN SHEP GRABBED HER HAND AND THEN LOST HER GRIP AND THEN THEY LANDED AND THERE WAS A GIANT BEAM ON TOP OF TALI AND I LEGIT STOPPED BREATHING

I STARTED COUGHING BECAUSE I WAS SO UPSET I STRESSED MYSELF INTO A COUGHING FIT IT WAS AWFUL I WAS CRYING AND MY SISTER WAS JUST LIKE “she’s Loyal, you’re fine, she’s fine” and I continued to freak out until she stood up and it was terrifying.

I then told the Illusive Man to fuck right off, stole the Normandy, and got my peeps together to murder some Reapers.

and BOY HOWDY THAT WAS A LOT OF REAPERS LIKE #YIKES???

SO That was the end of ME2!

A brief review: I liked bits of it, and viscerally hated other bits, tbh. I’m still not a fan of the mechanics, but once I figured out which guns to use against which enemies, things did get slightly better. I still hate the very idea of the Collectors--no one needs bug aliens who kidnap and liquefy people, I mean COME ON--but there was some cool stuff with that plotline as a whole. Also, I hate Cerberus, and I wish the game had let me more explicitly publicly pronounce myself as working WITH them out of desperation as opposed to FOR them because we believed in the same things.

Listen, Evil Martin Sheen, you underestimate how much I LOVE ALIENS and how little I care for the human race. So,

anyway

overall: not bad. Looking forward to the third one much more than I expected, tbqh, and that should be starting soon! I do plan to get back into the liveblogging swing of things, but that one WILL be over on the liveblog blog, found here. I’m hoping to start sometime next week, if not before then, as I’d really like to get to Andromeda before I have to fight the internet over spoilers. So, yeah! Thanks for putting up with this liveblog dying and being resurrected in this truncated form. I hope to see you on the liveblog blog for #Megan plays ME3 SOON! :D