#don't leave me alone with myself
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Ever thought about digging your own grave? And lying peacefully waiting for death... That's the definition of LIFE. People go through immense amount of pain while living their life just like digging a grave for themselves only to find peace and relief in the end by laying in it.. killing their hopes and expectations, feeling like a burden for everyone around them and finally finding out that their own breaths were also a burden for themselves. At last, waiting for death to suffer again in the phase of afterlife.
#Spotify#lost#dying inside#please help#leave me the hell alone#don't leave me#don't leave me alone with myself#my mind is so freaking scary#i'm so tired#i'm sorry#i cant take it
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There's a user going around currently reblogging/commenting on antiLO content with the intent of "digging up dirt" on people who simply read and enjoy the comic. Basically demanding the OP's of such posts to inform them of any 'stans' so they can add them to a 'list' that they absolutely do not have any good intentions to do with, along with making some very unsavory and completely unwarranted comments about the fans in general (and I don't mean the usual "lmao LO fans are weird/dumb/etc." stuff, I mean genuinely cruel wishes to have the fans of the comic doxxed/harmed/etc.) I have blocked this user for obvious reasons, and if you get a similar reblog or DM like I did from this person, I hope you'll do the same.
Please do not play into this. As much as I and many others talk shit about this dumpster fire of a comic and its questionable if not outright controversial writing and messaging, none of us have any right to go after any of the fans or stans directly. At best that would just be proving to the fans who already hate this part of the fandom that we're boogeymen out to get people, at worst it would be a betrayal to our own integrity as human beings who should be capable of discussing media without turning it into a harassment campaign. Making shitposts about the media and the fandom is fine, discussing the media itself and the creator who made it within our own little spaces of the Internet is ultimately harmless so long as it's managed within reason, but deliberately going out of your way to dig up personal information on innocent people within the fandom for the purpose of ruining their life is not okay and if you ever get to that point where you're trying to rationalize going after people directly, you need to log off.
#and yes this is a reminder to myself and those who enjoy my content as well#i know i'm REAL GOOD at talking shit#but i don't do what i do here with the intent of starting a mob#i'm here sharing my thoughts on media that i both like and dislike#that is not permission to go on your own justice crusade using what i do here as rationalization for your actions#i have and will continue to block anyone who comes at me with these kinds of requests to name drop people#i've done my part in the past to help protect this community from bad faith fans with bones to pick#but we have to remember to protect the community from ourselves too#idc how much you look up to me or my work here#i will absolutely not be made into some martyr for a cause i don't believe in and do not condone.#leave people alone.#lore olympus critical#anti lore olympus#lo critical
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#isn't 'don't leave me alone with myself' another way of saying#i love you and need you badly#my writing#my edit#letters#yildizlar
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Whit and Eden Accomplices Theory (or mostly just rambling about how Eden could be the culprit in a way that makes sense to me and also how Whit's strange behavior could be explained alongside it but that's a way longer title, oh wai-)
(I'm so sorry every DRDT theory I have involves Whit maybe if he was fucking normal and also not my fav character I would stop putting him in everything)
My entire mindset about theories is just throwing shit at the wall until it sticks, and it seems that this one has really stuck in my mind.
I feel like this post will be long bc there has to be a lot of explanation as to how I got to this theory.
See, I have an issue with the Eden motive from mostly a character perspective as Eden coming up on her own such a cruel method to kill Arei just does not feel in character even if she did snap. It also doesn't help that there isn't much of a motive for her. I've seen people justify but I just don't buy it and I personally just find it a bit boring. I also don't believe she would be fully distrustful of Arei unless being pushed to believe so.
However, the idea that she might have an accomplice could help that justification but it ends up creating a lot more problems. Because you'd need to find a character who would be willing to put their life on the line for seemingly no good reason. This is the issue I had with the Levi/Eden accomplice theory and now for me that theory is pretty much debunked since Levi admitting to his secret just drives more suspicion around him (it also doesn't match with his behavior in the trial, he does seem to genuinely want to help).
I can't deny that Eden definitely is the most suspicious despite me throwing Levi and even Whit under the fire purely because I just don't buy narratively that Eden murdering Arei makes sense. However undeniably, Eden could have access to both Teruko/Hu's clothes and she could've gotten hold of the tape, doesn't help that she was also quite suspicious when Teruko snuck up on her.
So I start to go back to the idea of accomplices, if it's not Levi, who could it be ?
Now before I get to Whit, I do want to propose the kind of other thought I had that didn't quite work out but also is interesting.
Eden culprit + Hu accomplice theory
Now this one is purely because of the fact that we know Hu and Eden hanged out a lot the day before the murder happened, Hu and Eden talked about the clothes as well. There's enough of a connection to make them planning a murder make sense.
However, it doesn't make sense with Hu's character so far. We do know she seems reluctant about her secret however we run into the problem that she has no reason not to just admit it on the spot when the secrets are now already revealed. It works especially not well with the fact that her whole thing is that she wants to live and blows up at David for wanting to play with the cast's lives. In fact her secret quote emphasizes how much she wants to live.
Her having also an alibi makes it impossible for her to have committed/contributed to the murder directly though if she's an accomplice that isn't much of a rebutal, it just makes it impossible for her to be anything more than just a distant accomplice.
Anyways, that really just doesnt leave us with a lot of viable accomplices to help Eden, at least not ones that would make actual sense except....
*sigh* Whit...
I would like to say this is kind of an evolution/building up of my personal theory of Whit being the culprit, as he was linked with a lot of suspicious behavior and also would be the only one with a hypothetical motivation (which in this theory there is a potential second motivation possibly here).
Now my main argument against a lot of the accomplices is the threat of death, who would willingly risk or give up their lives for someone's murder ??
The thing is...Whit already has multiple times refused to tell the truth both in the first case and second case, to the detriment of the survival of everybody. Trial 2 being the most obvious with him being reluctant about Eden's note and David's secret, if he truly continued to keep it shut he had potential to risk people's lives by leaving out information. In the first trial it's him being reluctant to divulge Charles's trauma despite it being the key reason as to why he couldn't have commited the murder.
In fact it's such an issue that Charles hands his secret to Teruko and not Whit because he can't trust Whit to divulge the secret in the class trial.
This would also give Whit a motive, his strange disposition to not unveil anyone's secret could potentially expand to him having personal motivation to not have everyone's secret revealed.
But I think the real motive lies in the strange subject of Whit's secret, his secret being thrown away by Rose without her looking at it, making it impossible for Whit to ever know what his secret was. Interestingly enough he also takes a strange amount of time to indentify that secret as his, like to a point of it no longer just being carelessness.
Therefore lies a potential motivation of him overthinking what his secret actually is. If you want more I go into Whit's potential motivation more in the Whit culprit post (specifically his strange behavior) but let's get onto other information that's smaller but works well with th
Another thing that like, while is mostly based on vibes and circumstancial evidence is still an interesting thing to think about. There's the fact that Whit and Eden were both the people chosen with Teruko and this is something I want to bring up for three reasons.
One, it is important to bring up the counter argument of "them orchestrating Arei's death would go against the body announcement rules right ?" and that is correct. However, the rule is extremely vague to an almost ridiculous degree, if Arei died of suffocation or if Whit and Eden weren't looking when she actually died would it not count as "witnessing the murder" ? In fact I believe this rule being there more so hint at it being subverted especially since we know how unreliable Mono-TV is. Also if we're going with that argument, it is interesting to also note that Eden and Whit were weirdly reluctant about Teruko going to the playground (aka Whit asking if she even really is at the playground and Eden telling Teruko to please wait when she opens the door).
Second, is Whit and Eden's closeness due to this trial, well that wouldn't be the right word, the more correct word would be proximity. Whit jumps to comfort Eden, although in a quite strange apathetic way (no whit saying "there there" doesn't count as actually emotionally being there for someone whose friend just got hanged). They both are in charge of the evidence by Teruko with Rose being grouped up as well. Whit tries to avoid the subject around the note that is incriminating to Eden. They also both "coincidentally" didn't notice Arei's swaying.
Third, more shorter and "funny" little subject would be Teruko's bad luck, especially with Min in the first trial. How unlucky would she be to have picked both of the people responsible for Arei's death. It would be an interesting running theme. However there's not much evidence behind that.
Now here are like short little bullet points that I think kinda cement my thoughts on how Whit being an accomplice can work (bc a lot of people have talked about Eden being the culprit already)
-Whit again one of the few who knows about Arei's rope, everyone could've technically gotten their hands on it but only a few would really know about the rope itself and it being taken away
-Whit is the one to question about acomplice thing and in fact actually manages to get Mono-TV to accept his criteria on who would be considered the blackened. Aka the one that was the most "active" in the crime. If Whit managed to do less than Eden this could be a potential attempt at him for the rules to be in his favor in case Eden gets found out (or vice verca, if he did most of the work he'd be the one to escape).
-I feel like Whit would be high in the spot of being able to manipulate Eden, they both have similar ideologies, plus his intuition seems to get him to read people like a book (or see the future ? were still not sure about that one chief /j). Along that it would be really funny if the Ultimate Matchmaker was the one to break down a relationship. Similar irony to the Ultimate Student killing the Ultimate Rebel.
Anyways I'm sorry about these incoherent ramblings, i'm trying to piece this whole thing together and Eden just being the culprit just doesn't sit right mainly because it feels like the story doesnt justify itself enough.
So here's some spice
By the way if Whit's motivation seems strange throughout my ramblings is mainly because I don't fully know what they are, what I was trying to get across is mostly that it wouldn't be out of character for Whit to have motivations that would lead him down to helping Eden. Unlike, say, Hu whose whole theme of being someone who probably having taken their own life before considering the secrets, has an immense determination to live.
#drdt#drdt eden#eden tobisa#danganronpa despair time#drdt whit#whit young#drdt theory#drdt analysis#can you tell i only had 2 hours of sleep ???#i feel like making posts when you're sleep deprived is like giving myself justification if I do something stupid#like man don't diss on the guy who hasn't slept#how cruel are you :(#anyways i wish whit wasnt the piece of shit puzzle that just isn't fitting but he is and i just#i have a gut feeling he is involved in this somehow#the idea of it just being eden as a culprit feels too simple and lacks a motive#eden being spurred on by someone else would make sense for her character#her fear that she is weak has led on her relying on someone who would take advantage of her#idk#my brain is melting leave me alone
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LOVE putting so much work into a fic only for it to literally get one, maybeeeeee three comments per chapter update if I'm lucky 🙃
#i don't even get likes on my fics anymore let alone comments or reblogs#the absolute clownery of me being worried about people sending me hate over a fic#as if anyone even will ever read it in the first place#like no i don't write fic for engagement#but i am wondering what the point in posting them is anymore since clearly no one but me cares about them#ugh ignore me i'm just pouting and feeling sorry for myself#huge hugs and kisses to my one loyal reader on ao3 who never fails to leave a comment on my updates#you are an angel and at this point i am posting only for you darling#lily babbles
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do you ever think about how when fang duobing cares about someone, he wants to be with them, he wants to take care of them, he wants to share experiences with them and stay with them forever
but when li lianhua cares about someone, he wants to save them from having to deal with him, he wants to spare them the misery of seeing him like this, he wants to set them free so they'll be able to live their lives and move on without him?
fang duobing says i love you by staying
and li lianhua says i love you by leaving
#(and di feisheng says i love you by challenging both of these idiots to a fight)#li lianhua trying to walk away on legs that don't work and his “look at me... you must be scared” to xiaobao in ep 30 haunts me#the way he wants to leave and die alone like a wounded animal#how do you convince someone who's hell bent on walking away that all you want to do is walk with them#even if — especially if — you know this journey is the last one#anyway it's been zero days since i made myself sad about mlc#mysterious lotus casebook#text#my ramblings
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Really, at the end of the day, it's the fact that Armand is a sub that makes it absolutely obvious to me that there's no way in HELL that he would betray Louis. The idea is so absurd that I would like to say that I genuinely don't understand why people are rolling with it. But I know that it's because most people don't understand Dom/sub dynamics. The intense and complete DEVOTION and WORSHIP subs have for our Doms can honestly not be overstated. We would NEVER betray our Doms, ESPECIALLY if we were in love with them. We would 100% die first. Which is why I just can't take Armand betraying Louis seriously. It would NEVER happen, and ANYONE who understands subs would know that. Clearly the writers don't, or they would NOT have made Armand a sub if they wanted him to be willing to betray Louis.
The RAGE in me
#this is not an invitation for a debate#I'm not interested in arguing about this#I'm just stating this for the record for myself and my followers and anyone who will listen#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtv meta#loumand meta#loumand D/s meta#my meta#louis de pointe du lac#the vampire armand#armand#my little amber-eyed pumpkin#loumand#otp: i want you more than anything in the world#i'm not interested in hearing from people who don't ship loumand#or people who are going to shit on their d/s relationship#leave me and my post alone
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oops my hand slipped
based on that one SBS Oda did about what Mihawk's daughter might be like and much to my delight the Yara Vibes were on point
#oc: bravada yara#my ocs#my art#ocappreciation#fyeahonepieceocs#as you can see i have failed the 'draw an oc other than yara' challenge#but i can't help myself#she's so fun#i suppose Oda was referencing the 'i don't hunt rabbits with a cannon' line?#i think that's the live action version but there's a very similar line in the animanga#where mihawk says something to that effect#idk if yara herself would ever use 'rabbit' as an insult but the 'leave me alone idiot who is not worthy of my attention' vibe is there#very dracule of her#girlie might be using a pseudonym but she'll never not be a dracule
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obligatory "Oda thank you for sharing this world with us" post
#fan letter got me sitting down and realizing there will be nothing like THIS in another decade or smth#the scale of the world the portrayal of emotions from side characters we don't know the name of from even the main story to spinoffs#the weight of a character's decisions that can ripple throughout the world and how this is all because of what its built upon already#like. look. i write stories and i think up of fantastical worlds myself but i don't have the opportunity to share it with people#and i know this is the case for some people as well that have entire worlds in their heads but can't get it out for some reason or the othe#so seeing just. someone make theirs of this volume and magnitude is genuinely always so inspiring even from when-#-i watched it as a little kid.#to have something of yours that you so clearly love running for this long because your story managed to capture hearts of SO many ppl that-#-it's not axed in between/urged to rush in any way?????? to have the freedom to tell the story you needed to tell? man.#tldr thank you for making me dream#eiichiro oda#one piece#(“tag heavy” IDCCCC im in my feels leave me alone)
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uh. vent art. or something. losing yourself and losing everyone who you cared about as a result
#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii#ii 2#ii 3#inanimate insanity cabby#. that's it#i'm. so so exhausted.#i feel like i'm actually going to throw up from how disgusted i am with myself#of course they wouldn't want to be friends w/me of course they don't like talking to me anymore#i am too broken to even be a good friend#hell even my best friend is leaving my side lately#i don't want to go back. i don't want to see them again tomorrow. i don't want to.#i don't want to feel like i'm insignificant i was doing so good why does it hurt why is it hurting now#i don't want to feel like death is the only solution i don't want to i don't want to be alone i don't want to be forgotten#i don't want to be unloved just because i can't fix myself anymore#i don't have anything to offer anymore i'm so so sorry i wish i did i wish i was still happy and healing#i wish i was i wish i was im sorry i can't.#sigh. well can't do much about it now anyway. uh yeah cabby is my mood rn. also talking about irl friends here.#god this was so bad i need to die rn#cw vent#cw sui mention#i guess#mhm. i think i need a therapist
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my family all of a sudden seems very concerned about the prospect of my brother moving in with his GF and me living alone.... as if I didn't live here by myself for a year+ when I first moved in and was much younger then and the house needed TONS of work and somehow I still survived.......
#everyone but my dad tho it seems lol#realistically I've been kinda on my own since like middle school... it isn't really anything new for me#I mean this hasn't even been like... set in stone. it's not like he came home last week and was like#I'm leaving!#but everyone seems very oddly invested in the fact that I'll be by myself#like bro I LOVED living alone are you KIDDING me?#and like lmao I am still the one paying ALL the bills (I don't wanna talk abt it)... buying my food... buying all the cat stuff#it's not like I'm losing income if I live alone.... so idk what everyone is so concerned about#creepy old guy who used to stalk me across the street DIED last year lmao so like.........#idk man#I'm tired. I haven't even STARTED thanksgiving prep and shopping and I'm TIRED. it's not even election DAY proper and I'm TIRED#NOvember. NOcember. NOuary. that's it. just NO. don't ask me for shit or voice an opinion. NO.#erin explains it all#delete later#probs lmao I'm just so TIRED jfc
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Lmao i found out you can boop yourself 😂
#I found out on accident#And i booped myself yes#Because I'm a sad person okay leave me alone (no please don't leave me alone 😭)
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There is something really beautiful about Simone Biles being regarded as the best gymnast in history, and her still falling/making mistakes/not qualifying for bars final/not placing first always.
#olympics spoilers#is this a thing i should be tagging idk odhgsodg#she's just universally recognized but she can still lose and lose with grace and i was never quite good at that as a gymnast IHDFOISG#rebeca andrade is amazing i am so happy for her#and simone has talked about how they push each other to be better but she is tired of competing with her etc#i may get really annoyed during olympic season bc everyone who knows me messaging me like ARE YOU WATCHING GYMNASTICS#as if i don't make it a huge part of my identity myself but i am obsessed w/ the olympics always have been and watch more than just that#but it happens every time and probs will forever#IDK tag rants no one cares about but it's just such an insane sport and i came first on beam in my last ever competition#i only had to beat like 3 people it was not intense at all difhosdg but it is so nice to see...that#olympics + humanity post here#anyway media leave simone alone give her peace let her be free#ooc.#tbd.
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So I just found a document in the "Yo Han's POV" folder of Who Holds the Devil that I don't remember making
And when I open it, it's just two sentences in an otherwise empty document. Which are:
"Ga On loved Yoon Soo Hyun too much, and Yo Han not enough. If at all."
... and now I kind of want to sue myself for emotional damages.
What the hell, me? Why did you leave that there? For me to stumble over? RUDE.
#Amethystina Writes#Who Holds the Devil#Or more like#The Gentle Light#I guess#Though I still don't know if I'll ever post more on that#Which is probably why this document came to be#I just wanted to write it down before I forgot it#But also ended up scarring myself when I eventually found it again#Especially since I know EXACTLY where it would go within the story#And it's a scene that hasn't happened yet#But I will say#This is one that might just end up being written#Because it's been looping inside my head for literal months now#It will not leave me alone#But it will also hurt like hell#So I'm hesitant
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i need my neighbor to stop coming over here and knocking on my door like GURL LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE
#rambles.#she's nice and everything but PLEASE#i've ignored her twice already today#i don't like to be bothered. also i'm working#she's always asking me questions or if she can borrow something#like babe we live 30 seconds away from the store go buy a pair of scissors it'll be like $2 😭 and u will need them again#i'll pay for it myself if u leave me alone
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love how everyone comes to me with their problems but have never asked me about how tf am i doing
#i am sick of people and their relationship dramas#i am not sorry i don't care#fuck off#especially when i have sey strict boundaries that i DO NOT get myself involved in anyone else's friendship or relationship#have some basic decency and leave me tf alone
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