#don't forget to check up on your friends if you know they're struggling

[psychicreadsgirl]

Pick a Painting : All about your next s/o

Pick 1 painting that draws you the most and I will tell you whatever I can pick up on your next s/o. If you are drawn to 2, then take a look at both readings. Remember that this is a general reading so not everything will apply. Take what resonates and leave what doesn't behind.

#1

Very easily depressed. Mental health is always a concern - doesn't mean they're bad people. Just that their mental health is particularly weak. Easily defeated and blue. However, they do feel things very deeply. Very emotional people. Very, very sensitive and intuitive - you won't be able to lie to them. It's like they have this 6th sense or can read your mind. Don't even try to lie to them - you'll just be caught. Not even a white lie please with these people - a lie is considered a really big betrayal to them. Though their mental health is weaker than average, they will be able to take bad news too. They aren't THAT weak.

Probably has a very creative or almost genius-like side. Very lost in their own world/sometimes will just go off and do their own thing. When they are focused on sthing, they will give it their all. The type to like not sleep for 2 days just to finish something --could be a video game, artwork, song, dance, Excel spreadsheet, code, math problem, clothing, etc.

Though intuitive - they can be kind of anti-social and don't really like to be around big crowds or people in general. Quite closed in and guarded. Think bc they can see so much of the truth they get really boggled down with that "negativity" or that "ugly" side of ppl that they don't want to be in contact with many ppl.

They have a lot of wisdom and knowledge - might not be like the typical "nerd" feeling, but they just know a lot about things that interest them. Could be some particular history or about some theory or painting or sciences etc.

They are shy with physical affection or don't like it that much. The mental connection is more important to them than the physical one. They may be asexual or some may struggle with their sexuality or sex in general.

#2

Life of the party. Very popular s/o and well liked by others. They probably have had many dating experiences -- might not mean they are a player. They probably don't like really heavy relationships and people who are too clingy.

They are really fun and adventurous. They are very playful and charming. They can be kinda forgetful too. They're warm and will remind you of the sunshine.

They sometimes can be ignorant of the world/others' feelings so can come off as being shallow or dense. They're either very intelligent academically or they do very poorly in school - sort of 2 extremes here.

They're either quite athletic or quite artistic. Generally they do have a decent physique like somehow muscular even if they don't work out much.

They're pretty laidback and overall chill. They definitely have very interesting stories to tell/share. Overall pretty independent people and somehow can make bajillion friends.

Sometimes they might not be the most reliable out there. They can often forget promises and also aren't the most responsible ppl out there. Likely to be late to meetings and dates. They can sometimes even forget to bring their wallet or keys.

#3

They can be kind of arrogant and self-centered. They are very confident of themselves, sometimes overly confident. They gotta be the one that make decisions in the relationship. They have a strong, commanding presence. They have this leadership aura like people just naturally want to follow them.

Likely to be quite successful in their career or comes from wealth. Can be kinda spoiled in some ways and also out of check with reality. Bad at saving money, a big spender in many ways.

A lot of people admire your s/o. They'll likely be quite good looking or charming - something about them that'll make people want to take a 2nd look at them.

They probably will dress quite well or at least in a polished way. Kinda classy or perhaps very street style. Either way they will have decent fashion and care a lot about their appearances. They will want you to also look presentable too, so no sloppy lazy attire when you go out.

They likely are friends with people of influence - could be famous or powerful or rich or all of the above. You might feel a bit overwhelmed by their connections or their lifestyle if you don't also have a similar background as your s/o.

They'll have some sophisticated flair/air about them. They are strong communicators and are quite persuasive. They know what to say to make your heart flutter. They may be manipulative though - so be careful.

There's probably some secret they are hiding - not sure what exactly but I don't think they want you to find out.

#4

They are very introverted and quiet. Very observant and detail oriented. Some may suffer from OCD or OCD-like tendencies. They can be obsessive over details. They can either be very very clean or be super super messy.

They probably will wear glasses or have prescription lenses somewhere. They may possibly have some tattoos or piercings or at least some prominent scar or birth mark.

They are pretty serious and aren't ones to really joke around. They can be sarcastic though. They may seem kinda gloomy but it doesn't mean they are very pessimistic.

They're probably night owls and hate the mornings. They probably won't like sweet things or will love them a lot - no between.

They can be kinda self-conscious and have a bit of low self-esteem. Could be bc they were bullied in the past or they felt they were really ugly before?? Possibly they were overweight when they were young and then teased a lot or bullied a lot so now they still got that trauma. Could possibly have suffered from some eating disorder too or went through some extreme diets.

Their physical health may not be that good like possible chronic illnesses or have gone through a major surgery/illness. Possible cancer survivor too.

They have a kind heart and probably love animals. They likely have a pet or if they can't have one due to allergies, then they would still like them.

#5

Definitely suffered from some trauma in their childhood or before they date you. This trauma will probably be pretty bad and severe - TW: sexual assault/physical abuse/violence etc. The abuse could have been very bad.

They are either in the healing process when they meet you or they're still deeply suffering from this trauma and won't admit it. Their inner child definitely needs healing.

They likely came from a family that was broken in different ways. Possibly the parents weren't available/died young or the parent(s) were abusive - could be verbal or physical etc. Or perhaps the parents favored the other sibling a lot and ignored your s/o. Siblings were very toxic to your s/o. Whatever happened your s/o did not feel loved by their family and/or they were deeply hurt by their family. They will likely have cut off from their family or will leave them shorlty after dating you.

They have a lot of sad undertones and when you look at them very closely, you know they have a story to tell. They are probably very animated/sociable so you might not even notice at first that they've suffered so much but when you look closer, you will sense that they've gone through a lot. If that's not the case they could be just very cold and a bit of a loner - like they seem strong on the outside but inside they are suffering.

They may not be super good looking but they have this attractiveness to them that draws people to them. They have that sort of mystery to them. However, they probably don't have many friends and stick to themselves.

They are interesting as a person and are self reflective. They have depth to them and can understand people well.

#6

They probably come from a traditional family or a very large family. They might have been in a religious family too or a cult.

They are either very close to their family or have completely cut off from them. There's no in between.

They can feel very lost at times. They aren't very sure of themselves. They have an innocent vibe to them. They also trust people easily, almost too easily. You'd want to protect them or look after them.

They are idealistic and sweet. They are gentle and probably have a sweet/angelic voice. They are friendly and loving.

They can be unrealistic so they will need someone who can ground them. They probably start a lot of projects and never finish them.

They need a lot of reassurance as they can sometimes lack confidence or get nervous easily.

They will probably have a rounder face or rounder features like rounder eyes, lips etc. They may be on the shorter side for height like shorter than average or they may just have a petite build like smaller bone structure. This doesn't necessarily mean they are very skinny - it's just somehow they will feel "Small".

They have a lot of youthful energy. They can sometimes say really dumb things even though they are clever. They're not very street smart. They probably will get lost easily. They also probably love food. They also are probably kinda lazy.

#7

They're probably very athletic or very into health stuff. They can be a fitness nut and they probably enjoy a lot of sports. They might even be some competitive athlete, possibly even an Olympian.

They seem to be able to do a lot of things like not just excel in sports. They might even have a creative side like filming videos or writing stories etc.

They enjoy travelling and love exploring. They love nature and being away from the city.

They're very daring and adventurous. They are very energetic and have loads of energy - almost too much.

They get distracted easily. They possibly suffer from ADHD or just have trouble focusing for long periods of time. They might not be able to sit still so they likely hated going to school (besides doing something more active).

They have strong golden retriever energy. They mean well but sometimes they can be too blunt. They also can sometimes be quite fiery and will definitely stand up for you when needed. They have strong protective energy too.

They also are probably romantic and will surprise you with little things. They will also remember anniversaries etc.

#8

They are very calm and collected. They are determined and responsible. They can be kind of boring sometimes. They stick to a routine and don't like to deviate from it. They are quite stubborn.

They are loyal to you. They are committed in the relationship. They care a lot about you but often have trouble expressing it to you. Sometimes you might feel like they don't love you but it's their actions that prove that they do love you. They notice the little details about you, including all your habits. They love looking after you and could even want to groom you somehow like maybe cut your hair/brush your hair/help you shave etc.

They can nag a lot and are passive aggressive. They can seem like a parent sometimes but they do mean the best for you.

They can have a controlling side. They're really into being efficient so sometimes they might forget that people have feelings.

To a lot of people they are workaholics. They also are quite responsible. If you're disorganized they will help you be more organized.

They're not romantic at all. They are very pragmatic so if you're thinking you're getting a romantic Valentine's Day, no that won't be the case. However they'll probably order your favorite food and help you clean up your place so you aren't tired after school/work/etc. They'd give you an expensive high tech vacuum instead of some necklace bc you really need one to clean up your place.

They can sometimes be a bit petty and yes they do bear grudges for life...

[harukamitsuki]

Ugghh been consuming some bnha stuff and I'm reminded of why I largely prefer fanfiction over the actual story. I have so much hate and pettiness within me. Even so, I am never going to change my mind on how much I hate how bnha is just an amalgamation of wasted potention. Search the definition of wasted potential up and there's just an image of bnha.

I remember watching it as the first season was coming about because it was made by Bones and I just have to watch it in that case. I watched episode one and was so excited.

We have our mc, Midoriya Izuku, being powerless in a world full of quirks.

His childhood friend turned bully, Bakugou Katsuki, is shown to be favoured by literally everyone and this feeds into his ego.

All Might, the number one hero, is jaded and powerless for 21 hours of the day because of a fight nobody knew existed. Izuku is attacked and helpless, but saved by All Might. All Might tells him he can't become a hero. A much needed reality check because Izuku didn't work out a single bit before then and it's so incredibly hard to fight someone who has something you lack.

Then Bakugou is attacked and helpless. Bakugou, who is so much stronger and who people love, is left useless, only able to make the situation worse with his explosions creating a fire hazard. The pro-heroes can't do anything. All Might and Izuku both hate themselves for the part they played and how useless they are. Then Izuku sees how scared Bakugou is. He runs in, inspiring All Might as he mocks himself for breaking Izuku's dream yet forgetting the core of heroism.

Then, after all is said and done, All Might goes back to Izuku. And he tells him he can become a hero.

...

Then he offers him One for All. Now, when I was watching this for the first time, I was so disappointed. You set up a powerless mc in a world full of powers and you just give him the power of the strongest hero? Great. But, I kept watching.

I watched Izuku work to get his power, struggle even after getting a quirk. I watched as Izuku finally stood up for himself and win against Bakugou. I watched as the series went on and I... I started noticing more and more missed opportunities.

See, bnha is supposed to be a zero to hero story. It's supposed to be about the mc going from powerless to powerful. But it does it so quickly. Suddenly, it's not about Izuku finding his own form of strength, or realising how being quirkless may not give any advantages but it also has no disadvantages, or even any commentary on quirk discrimination or fantastic racism or anything.

It turns into a story about controlling your power. It's not what I signed up for.

That's just one missed potential. There's so many more. Horikoshi clearly tries to make some commentary on quirk discrimination and female heroes/sexism in the workplace and entertainment over peace. There's some effort put into making a comment on how heroes are glorified and people don't see them as public workers, they see them as celebreties.

But it's never delved into. We don't see how bad people with mutant or 'villainous' quirks are treated, and we don't see how people with weak quirks are treated, or how the quirkless are treated (because the only reason Izuku was treated so horribly was because of Bakugou). We don't see how female heroes need to have a bit of allure in their personas to have any sort of support.

Yuuei is literally a camp for making child soldiers, yet there's no controversy over it? There's no such things as heroes having to take lethal action and no moral dilemmas over it? There's nobody speaking out about how Midnight flirts with students?

We have literally no information about how heroes work. We don't know how their salaries are decided, how they're ranked, how undergound heroes work. if twilight heroes are a thing, how anybody but Rock Lock feels about bringing children into adult matters, (seriously, why do people hate Rock Lock for being rightfully worried about having 15 year olds in a raid against the yakuza), we don't know how villains work and how to decide if one's a criminal or a villain.

Heck, the only laws we know of are fanon, and the canon stupid idea that you can't use your quirk in self-defense.

It's just. Incredibly infuriating.

Also, analysis as a whole is so under-utilised. Both Izuku and Shigaraki are deemed creepy for their analysis, which is such a useful tool. I mean, Izuku accurately guesses Stain's quirk, which is useful because, otherwise, they wouldn't be wary about Stain licking their blood or cutting them. Shigaraki accurately guesses the time intervals between Aizawa's blinks, which helps him a shit ton.

But is it ever used outside of these situations? No. The thing is, quirks are scientific in nature, not magic. Therefore, they're not restricted like magic is. Fire doesn't always have to be fire, it can be smoke or just heat. Ice can be water or steam. Acid can melt through anything or just be used as a mario kart banana peel.

There was so much missed potential and that's exactly why there's so much fan content.

Horikoshi leaves so much out, and everything he misses tends to be the interesting parts. He willfully explains Bakugou's quirk in detail, but everyone else? Nah. Fuck them.

I mean, let's look at Ochako's quirk.

Gravity negation. Or is it? See, if it were just gravity negation, then two things, in particular, would happen. First of all, Izuku would have fucking died when she saved him from falling. Second of all, she would not have been able to get infinity in the ball throw.

Negating gravity does not negate the forces. Therefore, when she saved Izuku from falling, he would have still been affected by the force of his fall. It would have been no different from hitting the concrete. Additionally, when she threw the ball, it kept going. Air drag would have made it so that she couldn't possibly get an infinity.

More accurately, rather than force negation as some fanfics suggests, she's telekinetically accelerating whatever she touches. She telekinetically accelerates Izuku's body to stop him falling, and does the reverse for the ball, making it so that it continues to accelerate after she throws it.

See what I mean? Because Horikoshi gave Bakugou's quirk a scientific explanation with him sweating a nitroglycerin-like substance and being able to spark it, you have to look at every quirk with scientific knowledge. He could have said 'oh, yeah, I store energy from my quirk in these gauntlets' but Hori just had to be a smartass.

By the way, because of Bakugou's explanation, it's possible that his quirk is not what is named. Yes, it's possible to have two sides of a quirk, as we see in Shouto, but Bakugou's quirk isn't explained in the same way.

Rather than his quirk being creating explosions, his quirk is more like creating sparks in his palms. Why? Well, you see. Bnha never delves into actual quirk theory, but there's more than enough canon evidence that you have one main quirk and then one or more quirk mutations. For example, Ashido Mina's quirk is secreting acid that she can manipulate the acidity and viscocity of. Her appearance is not related to her quirk at all, meaning it's a quirk mutation from her parents. Same with Tokoyami Fumikage. Quirk is Dark Shadow, so there's no need for the bird head.

Why does this relate to Bakugou? Let me explain: Bakugou explains that he recieved a mutation from his parents with his mother secreting glycerin and his father sweating acid with combustive properties. In other words, Bakugou inherited nitroglycerin-like sweat from his parents, but his actual quirk is being able to create sparks.

His quirk is 'Sparks'. Not Explosions.

Why am I ranting about this? Because bnha completely misses all of this! It makes no sense which is a shame because the concept is so interesting! But then it throws away any scraps of potential left when it becomes 'My Kacchan Academia'.

Seriously, why do people and why does Horikoshi love abusive pieces of shit so much? Why did he throw away the potential to look into Shouto and his siblings' feeling about Endeavour? Why did he make Dabi's plot all about Endeavour instead of Shouto?

It's so easy to compare the ways Dabi and Shouto handle their trauma and their ways of revenge. It's so easy to look at Dabi and think about how easy it would have been for Shouto to become like him.

Shouto was transfixed on Endeavour. Everything he did related back to his hate for Endeavour. Using his quirk, fighting, grades, social interaction, everything. His only reason for becoming a hero is to spite Endeavour. It's only because Izuku reaches out to him and saves him from his own toxic mindset that he's able to move one and do things for himself.

Dabi, or Touya, on the other hand, doesn't get that. He doesn't get that person who recognises how far he's gone, how, in trying to spite Enveavour, he's living a life centred on him. How he's jealous of his little brother for being abused and tormented.

While Shouto became a hero to spite Endeavour, Dabi became a villain.

They're both full of hatred at first, but Shouto is saved from that spiral. Izuku helps him. Dabi doesn't have that. It would have been so interesting to see these two face of as parellels, but nope. It's all about Endeavour. Shouto is nothing more than an accessory.

I understand Dabi being hung up on Endeavour, but to outright replace Shouto with the abusive flaming trashbag? No.

Also, if Horikoshi wanted Dabi to be seen as sympathetic or redeemable, don't make him kill innocent people. Don't make it so that he unlocks an ice aspect to his quirk in a life-or-death situation because all that means is that Endeavour was right to hurt Touya the way he did. All that says is Endeavour should have hurt him more.

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON BAKUGOU.

This piece of shit bullied Izuku relentlessly for years, used his quirk on him (yes that is canon), told him to end his life, tried to assault him in Yuuei, tried to kill him, threw a tantrum at an abused kid for not being magically okay with using a quirk that reminded him of his abusive father, assaults Izuku when he tries to work together but still magically gets a pass for being carried out unconcious which Sero was failed for, and the list just keeps growing.

Oh, but my bad. He has a sad backstory. You see, he fell in a river.

[brainrot-goes-brrrrrr]

Savannah Squad Presentation Night Headcanons/Drabble [3/3]

I totally didn't forget about this, I don't know what you are talking about (I'm sorry, I suck at finishing things & I don't know how to write for these two ;_;)

Part 1: Taylor & Logan Part 2: Ben & Tyler Part 3: Aiden & Ashlyn

Start of the drabble:

Thankfully, with Aiden's good laptop, there were no more technical difficulties for the rest of the night. But that in no way means the rest of the night is calm, and that is simply because Aiden has gotten up to the front of the room drip drying while setting up his presentation. Logan is then left mopping up the previous puddle he left from when Tyler dumped the entire contents of the spray bottle on him. For the betterment of the final two presentations, and Logan's floor, the spray bottle was retired for the night.

When Aiden is finished setting up, the TV practically demands for the attention of the rest of the group for none of the right reasons. It is horrendous. Astronomically so; the title of the presentation is somehow even worse.

Aiden Clark

(off topic, looking at my old art makes me want to vomit)

You see the title. That's not the bad part. The bad part is the fact that the slideshow is like thirty slides with multiple images per slide. The worst part is the fact that it's volume one. Check this man's storage, I promise you there is absolutely nothing left.

I want you to imagine you are just in a dark room with friends only lit by the TV and a small laptop screen. Imagine that, and then imagine this flashbang of a presentation popped on screen and each slide only gets progressively worse. Aiden is capable of making good presentations, he strikes me as a more artistic type, this is poorly made on purpose. Because why not.

This presentation is pretty much just going through his camera roll, but its categorized by person and gets progressively more deranged as they're section goes on. Which means the person with the longest section gets the worst of it. Which means Tyler gets the worst of it.

Like Ash got off pretty easy, Logan too. Taylor, gets the next longest section because I can see her and Aiden enabling each other to do dumb shit (one of the videos is her stuck in a traffic cone trying to get Tyler to help her out (spoiler: he didn't)), he lives with Ben so he absolutely has material on him, mainly his shit cooking. Then there's Tyler... half of the photo's aren't even of him!!! He just made dumb ass bottom text memes. They're not even funny ;_;

Aiden put his photoshop skills to work cause he is pulling up pictures like this:

He also screenshots texts too. I want to give you examples, but everything I can think of can't be put here cause I don't want to be considered weird. It's nothing bad, it's just like teenage humor. like ironic stuff.

Just think teenage boy humor, but if it was made by a decent person and wasn't problematic. Like how people would jokingly flirt with their friends and the other person is like "bro, wtf 💀"

so the presentation is just Aiden avoiding things being thrown at him while he exposes the group

(I had to tone this down because teenage humor does not translate to written word without sounding like a creep! I'm banking on the fact that you've just seen teenagers interact with each other cause then you'd get it)

Group's Reaction

the only reaction that matter's is Tyler's and you know why. You know why.

Everyone is having a good, grand ol' time laughing at each other being dumb, then there is just Tyler being raked through the mud.

The majority of the group think "yeah, my pictures are bad, but at least I'm not Tyler".

tbf, I also headcanon that Aiden shares a PE class with Tyler so he has more material. Cause exercising is somehow more embarrassing in PE. It doesn't matter how athletic you are, no one looks good when you are struggling not to face plant when doing a wheel barrel because your partner is just hauling ass across the field.

Ashlyn Banner

I need Ashlyn to drag everyone. desperately. In good fun obviously, but it just goes to show how odd everyone really is.

These are teenagers. Even though they are in awful circumstances, they still do stupid teenage shit. This is mainly revealed in the arguments that take place during hang outs and study sessions.

Her presentation is split up by how dumb she considers each conversation. Most of the conversations involve Aiden and Taylor, not because they are dumbasses, though is does play a part, but because they enable each other's dumbassery.

Ben only makes up about a slide... for obvious reasons. Part of him is relieved, but the other part wishes that he could say more to be included.

One of her favorite moments that she put in the presentation is when she overheard Logan having to explain to Aiden that 1.) the North Pole does, in fact, exist and 2.) that it is not the same thing as Antarctica when they were doing pair work in science. It took... painfully long, for the point to reach Aiden. She's not convinced it has. (I had this argument with my friend during senior year...)

^^ The argument gets brought back up because Tyler started shitting on Aiden cause of it.

Another big chunk of the presentation is just when she caught the group baby-talking Logan's cat (he has a cat cause I said so). You'd think it be Taylor, considering her general demeanor, but Tyler's the one who talks to the cat most of the time. And the cat absolutely loves him. The cat is sitting on his lap as we speak.

Logan is a person to play first person shooter games. With mic. Need I say more. (He doesn't say anything bad, but he can shit talk. It's easier since they don't know who he is lmao).

Taylor gets off easy because everything dumb that she says is on purpose. She is absolutely the person to just go with the bit, so everything she says just goes with the flow of the group. What's that? It's because Ashlyn has more of a soft spot for Taylor! What, no! I don't know what you are talking about, Aiden. Such accusations. (he is 100% correct)

Group Reaction:

Since the presentation was pretty balanced with who got made fun of, excluding Ben (ToT), everyone's having a pretty good time.

Since Ben barely had anything in the presentation, Logan had the bright idea to scroll through this guys social media posts. Mainly twitter. He struck gold at the expense of Ben.

Regarding cat point in the presentation, Ashlyn had some videos as proof. Is Tyler embarrassed? Yes. Can he do anything about it? No, he has the cat on his lap.

[brain-n-body-in-disarray]

What the h*ll is "basic hygiene" anyway?

If you're like me, you've been struggling with hygiene for a long time. I'm neurodivergent, I have chronic fatigue and chronic pain, so yeah, it's been hard, my whole life.

Here's a few tips that helped me or some of my friends.

1. Redefine "basic hygiene"

No, really. Redefine it. Neurotypical and able-bodied people will tell you all can of things about what is "basic" hygiene.

The rule is: do what you can. That's it. The rest of the post will be tips to increase what you can do. But in the meantime, just do your best. You're fantastic the way you are.

2. Time

There's two thing here.

The first is: find the right time for you. It's not always easy, because we often have obligations, and we're supposed to be clean at those right moments. It's not easy. Sometimes it "helps" because it gives us that "boost" we needed to start getting clean, but most of the time it's just stressful. So instead find the moment that works best for you. I know there's moments in the day when it'll be easier for me to start tasks that I would struggle with at an other time, but I prioritise other things instead for a reason or another. Try washing yourself then, even if people will tell you it's strange to have a shower at three pm. Who cares.

The second is: divide to conquer. You don't have to wash ALL the parts of your body at once. You don't necessarily have the energy for it and it's okay. Also it can feel daunting to face that long list of steps. A body has a LOT of parts to wash and clean. Really, that's scary and exhausting. So the solution might be to do smaller things here and there. Do what you can when you can, that's okay. At least you've done something, that's great!

You are also allowed to take breaks in the middle. It can help if you are tired, or if it makes you anxious.

3. Wipes.

I personally hate washing with soap and water, whether it's a bath, shower or just at the sink. It takes time, it's a lot of steps, and it feels horrible. I do it when I can, but I don't enjoy it. The partial solution is wipes.

Baby wipes are great, they're soft, some smell good but faint, some has no odor. You can clean yourself quickly without rinsing. And they don't let that terrible feeling on your skin.

There's wipes made for your private parts. Which is an important part to clean. Also wet toilet paper is good. (For private parts wipes, buy the organic ones, you don't want anything too harsh there)

Make-up removal wipes are not just to remove make-up. They do clean you face.

Don't use antibacterial wipes though. At least not regularly. They are too harsh for your skin, you'll just damage it. Also too much antibacterial stuffs just make bacterias more resistant.

Bonus point: wipes can easily be carried in a bag. Handy.

4. Charts and lists and apps.

Whether you forget to do it or it you have done it already, or you can't get motivated, or you can't manage to start washing, or there's so many steps you get overwhelmed, or you start but can't remember what to do next, etc., those tips might help.

There's apps like Habitica (it's the most well known but there's others) that help you building habits and remembering to do stuffs and making it fun (help with rewards). It's about general tasks but can be applied to washing. A friend also told me there's a pokemon app to brush your teeth but I haven't tried it.

If you get overwhelmed by the steps and get lost in the middle, making a list of those steps, laminating and putting it in the bathroom near the sink or in the shower can help you keeping tracks. You can even put a dry erase marker near the list to check what have already be done.

5. The "bath buddy"

If you live with someone, you can ask their help.

I'm not saying they have to wash you. Or maybe I am? A friend takes his showers with his boyfriend to help getting motivated.

It can just be your platonic roommate behind the door talking to you, telling you funny stories.

Having company can help start the task and make it more enjoyable which help in itself but also make it less daunting the next times. Having a bath buddy also helps if you get lost in the middle of a task, they can tell you what the next step is. They can also keep you on tracks and in the present (I know I tend to dissociate a lot in the bathroom). And they keep your mind off the bad stuffs (body dysphoria for example, or sensory discomfort)

6. You're never too old for "kids' stuffs"

Because you're never to old for fun stuffs.

No, really, there's no reason why you should deprive yourself of something that would make washing more fun.

Wash your teeth with bubblegum flavored toothpaste.

Play with bathtoys. Buy those little plastic boats and those little squirting animals. (Seriously, the fact that the only fun thing for bath for adult is bubbles is a crime)

The word here is "fun". Make the bathroom fun. Buy a shower curtain with cute elephants playing with water. Put adhesive ducks on the tiles. Make that darn room a place you want to be in, not just to distract you from the bad stuff but to enjoy your life.

7. Teeth. Oh no, the teeth.

First thing: as I said, you don't have to use that "adult toothpaste". The menthol contained in it can be sensory hell. You can use kid toothpaste, it cleans just as well. If you can't use any toothpaste try brushing without it with just water. You can also try toothpaste tablets (you chew on them and then brush). You can try mouthwash. You can try oil-pulling. The point here is to remove some bacteria from your mouth.

About brushing. There's different hardness in toothbrushes. If you're using hard, try medium. If you're using medium, try soft. If you're using soft, try baby toothbrush. If no toothbrush works for you, try a wet cloth, or your finger. Try using toothpicks to remove the remains of food and then use mouthwash.

If the storebought mouthwash doesn't do with you, make it yourself. There's recipes online with essential oils (optional, but maybe there's one you might like), baking soda and water. (I don't recommend using lemon juice, it might damage your enamel.)

My friend just told me I should mention dental floss. I personally hate it, but it might be useful to some of you. It's probably more effective than toothpicks. They also comes mounted on these little plastic sticks if you struggle with the thread alone.

8. Chair

No, really, you have the right to sit down during washing. Buy a shower chair. Put a bench on your bathtub instead of struggling to stand up. Put a chair in front of the sink to sit when you brush your teeth.

You don't have to be physically disabled to use a chair to wash. And if you're disabled there's still no shame. Standing up can be boring, it can be painful, it can be tiring. So sit. You are allowed.

And if you prefer standing, do. You can pace. You can dance. You can do gymnastics. (Just be careful if you're brushing your teeth, okay. Or if you're in the shower. Don't hurt yourself.)

9. Music

If you don't have a buddy to talk to you, music or even podcasts, anything to listen to, can be a nice way to help. They makes the experience more enjoyable. They keeps your head away from the bad sensory experience or the awareness of your own body.

I also find using the same playlist useful to keep track of the time I've been spending in the shower. I even time the steps on the tracklist, I know I washed that part of my body for long enough if that song is over, I need to do the next step.

Also, for me me music is part of the ritual. It helps me to get in the right mind, it motivates me, it makes the routine.

10. Multi-purpose products.

I've seen all those beauty posts about "layering". It's nice if you have the energy and the time, but no, it's not for me.

I hate moisturising creams. I really do. They smells funny, they feels gross and sticky, and it takes forever to apply. It's an unnecessary step for me. But I have dry skin (at least on my body). The easy solution is to use surgras soap or surgras shower gel. (Not just the "moisturising" soap, that won't hydrate as well.)

I don't just remove the unpleasant experience of moisturiser, I remove a step. I save energy.

Also, multi-purpose products help with organisation, there's less things to think about. There's less risk of taking the wrong bottle because you're too headfogged. Less chance of chaos in the bathroom.

I personally can't do that for everything. I'd like to have one soap for everything, but my body skin and my face skin and my private parts and my hair all need different stuffs. But I do try to keep things to a minimum, because the number of products can be quickly overwhelming. So try to balance your sensory needs with your organisation problem.

(Also, if like me you hate the feeling of moisturiser, aloe vera gel is great. It is a bit sticky, but in a different way than cream. I personally prefer that one. There's also the option of oil, there's different kinds for different skin types, even for oily skin.)

11. Japaneses know best: the bidet.

This one might sounds strange for some folx. Where I live, bidets used to be extremely common but they are disappearing. We used to have a bidet next to the toilets in our homes. Japanese toilets have a built-in bidet but they are expensive. There is a cheaper (but still not cheap) alternative. You can buy a bidet toilet seat attachment to put on your own toilets.

Why am I telling you about bidet? Because when you struggle to wash regularly, bidets are incredibly useful.

Toilet paper is highly unhygienic. Wet toilet paper is a bit better. Bidets, that spray a jet of water on your privates, clean so much better.

And they are easy and quick to use. You just press a button and you are clean.

If you have a vagina, it's even more important, because it lowers significantly the risks of getting UTI and the likes.

If you can afford it, I recommend it.

12. The hat, or "well, f*ck it"

You can fail to wash in time for whatever obligation you have. That's okay.

Just use the card "camouflage".

Greasy hair? If they are long, brush them and tie them tightly, and put on a fashionable hat. Or you favorite, silly, hat. Or just a random hat that your aunt gave you (you know the one, you wondered for three weeks if you smiled enough when you received the gift because you didn't want to offend her). Scarfs are nice too.

Other idea to hide greasy hair? A wig. They are higher maintenance, but they are good to have for occasions where you have to look a bit better or if you can't wear a hat for whatever reason.

About odors... Well you know the trick of deodorants and perfume. Not what I recommend, at least not alone. For once not everyone can stand their smell. Also, they aren't that great to succeed at masking odors. If you can, use wipes to clean your armpits (also the underbreasts if you have them) and the neck and chest area. It might not remove all the odors but it'll help and with some deodorant if you can stand it, you should be good.

About deodorant: you can use a dollop of moisturiser (yes, I know I said I hate them, but listen), it will help to stop the formation of odors but the fragrance is usually mild or absent. It's also less harsh than the usual deodorant. You only need a small amount for it to work. You just need to clean before (wipes should be enough)

13. Don't stew in your dirty clothes.

Try to change your clothes often even if you don't wash. Especially your underwears.

I know it might sound counterintuitive to wear clean clothes when your skin is dirty, but staying in old clothes is like wearing a petri dish. By keeping the same clothes on you, you also keep the bacterias that live on it and your body.

It's especially bad in some areas, like your private parts, your feet and your armpits.

If you live alone, or if you live with someone who don't care, don't put clothes on at all. You'll just stew in your bacterial crock pot otherwise.

Staying naked also has the upside of reducing the amount of laundry you have to do.

14. Use your strengths.

Sometimes it's as simple as using your other hand because your dominant one is achy.

Sometimes it's listening to a podcast about your special interest.

You're an artist? Put a whiteboard in the shower. Or, I don't know, draw your body, laminate the drawing, and color the parts you have already washed with a dry erase marker.

Your thing is to make lists of animals of Paraguay? Recite them alphabetically and make a song with them while you brush your teeth and wash your face and clip you nails.

Dancers here? Each movement you make is part of a choreography.

15. Aftercare.

Hygiene is immensely stressful and energy consuming. You don't just deserve a reward, you need aftercare.

It's okay to take a nap. It's okay to need to engage with your special interest. It's okay to need a hug. It's okay to want to be alone. It's okay to feel bad too. Have a cry. Be moody. Don't be ashamed of what you feel. Of course it's better if you manage to avoid these emotions. But it's okay if you have them.

And give yourself a little treat. Have a cup of your favorite tea. Put a shiny sticker in your "things I've done good today" diary. Cuddle with your pet. Read the Swedish dictionary.

Drink a glass of water and eat something.

Also, if you have chronic pain, like I do, take your meds. (My joints are always a bit achy after standing too long, or my shoulder are stiff after washing my hair)

Write an essay about why keeping up with your hygiene is a pain.

Do what you want and do what you need.

16. Shame has no place in the bathroom.

If you've read my previous post, you know what I mean.

I've said it in this post, it's okay to struggle, to not be perfect, or as perfect as neurotypicals and able-bodied people say we should be. Their criterias are bullcrap.

Shame won't help you to keep up to these unachievable standards. They'll just undermine you.

Also, it's okay if some of what I've said here seems unachievable also. I shared what helps me and some of my friends, but your needs might be different and that's totally okay. Maybe someone will make a post with tips that'll help more? I hope so.

Anyway, you do what you can and you congratulate yourself for it. Every step is an achievement worth of praise.

[savventeen]

you say the stupidest (sweetest) things

pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader rating: 16+ (for swearing) wc: 4.5k prompt: seungkwan + "things you said at 1am" summary: you say stupid shit on the best of days, so when seungkwan comes over when you're having a bad bout of insomnia, the last thing he expects to hear from you is an accidental love confession warnings: insomnia, mental health issues, dissociation mention tags: fluff, friends to lovers, first kiss, reader is a little unhinged but who isn't tbh, they're also highkey allergic to genuine expressions of love/affection but they're working on it, banter, stimming, wrestling like children to try and work through emotions, reader is some flavor of lgbt+ (they make an "i've never done anything straight in my life" joke), reader's pov is dramatic bc they're dramatic oops a/n: this is for @dokyeomin as a part of my emergency commissions (check out the post here) and this was only supposed to be 1k but it 100% got away from me... i hope you still enjoy the fluff and all of the attached nonsense <3

From: Y/n 🔪 [11:47pm]

yo kwannie if i impulsively decide to go to the 24h convenience store how harshly do u think they'll jusdge me for buying every flavor of gummy candy available *judge i wanna see if i can melt them down into one Ultimate Gummy u know for Science

Seungkwan pauses brushing his teeth and stares down at your messages.

To be fair, it's probably not the strangest thing you've ever texted him. He's known you since your second year of college, after all, so he has about half a decade of experience with all of your various y/n-isms under his belt now.

Which is how he knows to trust his gut when it tells him that this probably isn't your usual brand of nonsense.

He spits the toothpaste into the sink and dials your number. You answer on the second ring.

“Before you say anything,” you start, “I was only half-serious about the gummies thing. Like, it's a fun idea, you know? In theory. But in actuality? I do not want to deal with the mess that it would create. Or the smells. Well, the smells might actually be pretty good depending on—“

“Uh-huh,” he interrupts dryly. “Y/n, when's the last time you slept?”

The beat of silence that follows is enough to confirm his suspicions, and the hesitant “Um” that follows is just the icing on the cake, really.

He sighs. “The fact that you have to think about it says enough.”

“I don’t need to think about it,” you argue petulantly. “I just… don’t wanna tell you.”

“Y/n...” he groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Look, I know, I'm sorry.” And you do sound a little bit sorry, at least. “I'm just. Having an episode. Don't worry about it.”

His shoulders droop as the words sink in. “Episodes” are what you've taken to calling your intermittent bouts of serious insomnia.

Generally speaking, you sleep about as well as the average twenty-something with a caffeine addiction. But every few months or so, it's like your brain completely forgets how to shut off and you end up staying awake for 40+ hours straight.

“Well,” he says, putting his toothbrush away and going back to his bedroom. “You know that ship has sailed, right? You know I'm gonna worry about it.”

Your deep sigh crackles over the line. “Yeah, I know.”

“So. Where're we at this time?”

He mentally braces himself. The two of you have done this enough times now that he knows that you know there's no point in trying to lie or beat around the bush.

“Uhhhhhhh, I'll be hitting the 46-hour mark in about 20 minutes.”

“Aish.”

The fact that you can say that so casually makes his heart hurt. He knows that whenever he doesn't get enough sleep, he makes sure everyone knows it and thus babies him accordingly. But you've always been so intent on hiding anything and everything you struggle with. It's taken years for him to bully himself past the walls you keep hidden behind shit-eating grins and an over-willingness to help.

“Okay,” he says, moving to the dresser to grab an extra set of clothes. “I'll be over in an hour.”

“Wait. What?”

“You heard me.” He tosses the clothes onto his bed before going to grab one of his duffle bags, firmly asserting, “You've got an hour to mentally prepare yourself for my arrival.”

“Honey, you've got a big storm comin',” you quote at him without hesitating.

“You sure do,” he assures with a snort. “Better get ready to feel the wrath of my friendship.”

“Why do you have to love so aggressively?”

He rolls his eyes while he throws his clothes into the duffle bag with one hand. “Because it's the only way you'll accept it, idiot.”

“No, it isn't.”

Your pout is so audible through the phone that Seungkwan has to stop and glance at the screen in disbelief.

“Y/n. Y/n L/n. Do not stand there and lie to my face like that.”

“I'm not lying!”

“Not—” He gesticulates wildly with one hand like he's going Can you believe this shit? to an invisible TV audience. “Okay, tell me this: what did you do the last time I sincerely monologued at you about how much you mean to me as a friend, hmm? No bits, no bullshit, just me telling you how much I love you and how amazing you are.”

A beat. “I'll hang up on you, Kwannie, don't test me.”

He barely resists the urge to shove his face into the bedspread and scream. “You're literally proving my point right now!”

“Kwannieeee,” you whine, because you know he's right.

“Also, because I'm never letting you live it down, I will remind you exactly what you did."

You say his name again, but it's muffled, and he assumes it's because you're hiding your face in shame.

“I gave you a sincere, heartfelt speech about how much your friendship has changed my life for the better and made me become a better person—” he ignores your wordless pterodactyl screech, “—and how do you respond? By staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights, slowly raising your arms to give me double finger guns, winking, and then slowly backing out of the room like an awkward mannequin!”

“...”

“Well?” He puts his free hand on his hip. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“… I’ve changed a lot since then.”

Seungkwan rolls his eyes before moving to continue packing his overnight bag. “It was literally three months ago.”

“Yeah, and? Doesn't change the fact that I've changed,” you assert.

“Into even more of a nuisance? Yes, you're absolutely right.” He smiles when he hears you scoff playfully.

“Listen here, Boo Seungkwan. You know that well-rested Y/n is ready to throw down with you at a moment's notice. What do you think sleep-deprived, zero-impulse-control Y/n is going to do the second you get to their front door?”

“Stop referring to themself in the third person, hopefully,” he mutters, finally zipping up his bag and heading to the door. “And then after that, they're going to let me bully them into resting.”

“Hmm. The council has heard your proposal, briefly pondered it, and deemed it “unnecessary” on the basis of: they're a bad bitch that can't be stopped by neither time nor physics nor any god of your choosing.”

Seungkwan scoffs as he puts the call on speaker and sits to put on his sneakers. “Well, “the council” can go fuck right off.”

“What if the council would like to fuck right on?”

Pausing in the middle of tying his laces, he blinks down at his phone. “I'm— what?”

“Okay, real talk, what do you think it would mean in this case? Like, would this be like a 'hop on' versus 'hop off' situation? Or more like an 'I'm down for this' versus 'I'm up for this' kinda situation? Because it would have very different outcomes depending.”

Seungkwan decides that this is a debate better left for another time. “I think it means that I'm going to be at your house soon and that if you're not in your pajamas with hot Sleepy Time tea and the series Planet Earth ready to go, there will be consequences.”

“Booooooo, you whore.”

He finishes tying his laces and jabs his finger at the phone. “Consequences, Y/n.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“See you soon, love you, bye.” He hangs up before you can get another word in, but doesn't move from his seated position in the entryway.

Slowly, he takes a deep breath in and lets it out, taking a moment to lean back on his hands while he stares at the back of his front door. Specifically, at the large collage of sticky notes and pictures and doodles that have taken up residence there.

A few of the notes are ones he's gotten from other members of your shared friend group over the years (the one from Chan that reads "if u eat my rice i'll eat ur kneecaps xoxo" hangs proudly in the center, right next to a picture of him sleeping that Seungkwan managed to capture from an extremely unflattering angle). But most of them are from you.

Dumb puns, meme references, bullshit animal facts you made up just to get him to laugh… almost all of them are stupid in that extremely charming way that only you somehow manage to pull off.

But the one he's staring at now is almost completely hidden by other notes and pictures that have been added to the collage. It's a pale blue, the ink starting to fade a bit with time — the first note you ever gave him, back when you two were just people who happened to sit next to each other in an astronomy class.

Even though most of it is hidden, he doesn't need to be able to see all the tiny words you crammed into the small space to already know exactly what it says.

how do u make a space party? u planet :P u looked sad today, hope this makes u feel a little better also if this is 2 forward feel free 2 pretend i don't exist. or punt me in2 the sun idk u'd be doing me a favor tbh

He'd almost skipped class that day because of how bad he'd been feeling, but he'd decided to try and push through. And before that day, neither of you had interacted with more than a polite greeting and the occasional question about the homework.

But then you'd passed him that note, and he'd passed one back that said “that's dumb. but thank you” with a smiley face, and you'd passed another one back that said “do u think lizard people have ever been to space?” and the rest, they say, is history.

Seungkwan shakes his head with a sigh before standing up and grabbing his bag and his keys, striding determinedly out the door. He's got a best friend to take care of.

Seungkwan should be at your place soon, and you're not quite sure what to do in the meantime.

You have your laptop hooked up to the monitor in the living room with Planet Earth queued up, you have the kettle filled with water and ready to go on the stove, and you have mugs and teabags ready on the counter next to it.

The Required Tasks™️ have been completed as much as possible without the arrival of your best friend, and now all that's left to do is wait.

Which, normally, you're not the worst at. You're excellent at entertaining yourself, actually, mostly because there's always something to think about. Whether it be about cute dogs that you've seen over the past week (I wonder if the pomeranian down the street will let me pet him next time), potential plot twists for the new fantasy drama you're a little bit obsessed with (what if Gregothy was cursed the whole time???), or generic ponderings of the human existence as a whole (do souls have the metaphysical equivalent of a fingerprint?), you're pretty much always thinking about something.

Which is totally fine and dandy and cool or whatever when you have the ability to, you know, shut it off. For example, when you need to do something simple and necessary like, oh I don't know, go the fuck to sleep.

You also hate when that manic mental energy somehow translates into kinetic energy as well. It makes you feel like a hamster in a cage, watching yourself running and running and running on that stupid wheel until you exhaust yourself.

Tonight's metaphorical wheel: stimming like wild in the kitchen. Flapping, rocking, (gently) slapping, making weird and fun mouth sounds, the whole shebang.

And again, normally stimming is fun. Stimming is great. But stimming because you feel like if you don't stop moving you're going to literally vibrate out of your skin is, to put it lightly, Not It.

It takes you about ten minutes to work out all of the energy until you no longer feel like your blood was replaced with pop rocks.

With a groan, you lower yourself to the kitchen floor and lay down face first. Because despite how exhausted you feel in every possible way, there's still something like an itch in your conscious, a fucking pea underneath the miles of mattresses that refuse to let you just. Fucking. Sleep.

Your pity party must've lasted longer than you realized (or, more likely, you dissociated for a hot second there) because suddenly someone's knocking at your door at the same time you get a text from Seungkwan.

And you know it's a text from Seungkwan specifically because you got Vernon to help you change your notification settings so that whenever Seungkwan texts you, the "i love you.. bitch" sound clip plays instead of a normal text tone.

For a fraction of a second, you contemplate slowly inching your way to the door like an uncoordinated caterpillar, but you swat the thought aside like you’re swatting a gnat and you awkwardly roll to your feet and make your way to your front door.

Without hesitating, you unlock the door, swinging it open with a flourish and sticking a finger right in Seungkwan's face before he can utter a single syllable, forcing him to cross his eyes.

You open your mouth wide like you're going to say something, pause for a moment, then tap your pointed finger to his nose with a quiet "boop."

He blinks, expression turning deadpan, and sighs. "I should have expected this, honestly."

“Yep!”

You let him into your apartment, and he makes himself right at home, mildly bitching at you as he goes to get the tea ready, and something within you shifts.

The inside of your head is still a bit of a dumpster fire, unfortunately, but inside your chest... something clicks into place that you're not sure that you're ready to name. Whatever it is, though, it's soft and warm and kinda feels like your heart is being hugged.

Smiling to yourself, you follow him into the kitchen.

💤 💤 💤 💤 💤

It was pretty much straight to “business” after that, and it only takes Seungkwan one cup of tea and two episodes listening to David Attenborough's dulcet narrations for him to knock right out, leaning heavily against your shoulder on the couch.

Which means it's now the perfect time to sit there and Admire Your Bro™️.

It's rare to see him so still, you think. He's an active guy, in pretty much every sense of the word, and you always feel a little honored when you get to be witness to his quiet, vulnerable moments like this one.

He looks so serene, face smoothed out and painted in soft twirling shades of blue from the screen of the monitor, though you can't see too much of it from this angle. Mostly you just see his cheeks and stupidly adorable button nose.

And you've seen the same thing a million times before — in all kinds of states and expressions — and despite how much you've tried to ignore it, each and every time you've caught yourself noticing just how cute Seungkwan is, it's caused that thing in your heart to scrunch up, full of the L-word feeling that you've kept unnamed for what feels like forever now.

Except, maybe that thing in your heart is tired of scrunching up. Maybe it's decided that it's tired of forever.

Maybe that thing has finally decided to burrow itself out of the walls you've built up because you find yourself finally allowing yourself to think, Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.

You don't realize that Seungkwan has completely stilled against you, but you certainly notice when he suddenly throws himself forward so he can turn around and stare at you incredulously. Only he overshoots a little bit and ends up falling off the couch with a squawk and a dramatic flail.

"Oh my god, Kwannie are you okay?!"

He stares at you from where he fell, wide-eyed like you've grown a second head or like the time you'd tried to convince him that birds weren't real and actually just a government conspiracy.

"Am— am I okay? No??"

Now it's your turn to move off of the couch, coming down to his level to see if maybe he hurt himself when he fell. "Fuck, okay, did you hit something? Do you need an icepack?"

Seungkwan being Not Okay is maybe one of the worst things that could ever happen in the entire universe and you're trying not to panic as you reach out to check for injuries.

"No, no, stop—" he bats away at your hands and you stop in your motions, now kneeling in front of him. "I'm not hurt!"

Your brain does the cartoonish screech thing as it comes to a halt, and you furrow your brows. "But.. you just said you're not okay?"

"I'm not!" His eyes are still wide in shock, but he also looks confused and maybe a little bit like he's about to cry?

Oh no. If he cries and it's somehow your fault (because it has to somehow be your fault) you think the world might actually end.

"Okay, uh. I am— confused,” you start, sure you must look as lost as you feel. “But, um, what can I do to help?"

He swallows, and a part of you realizes that he's looking at you with an expression you've never seen before. "Did you mean it?"

Knowing that it's significant but not yet knowing why, you maintain eye contact. "Mean what?"

"What you just said."

You blink. "...that I'm confused?"

He shakes his head. "No, before that."

You have a hard time remembering what you just said when you're not sleep-deprived and worried you've just somehow accidentally caused irreparable emotional damage to your best friend. "Uh... when I asked if you were okay?"

"No, fuck," and it's a shock for some reason, hearing him cuss right now. You hear him say much worse things all the time, but you think it might be the way he said it — with a kind of desperate vulnerability that you're not sure you've ever heard from him before.

That thing in your chest twinges and you think maybe you're the one who's gonna start crying.

He says your name like a plea, and then he's on his knees right in front of where you're kneeling on the floor, reaching forward to cup your face in his palms. "You said— Y/n, you said "holy shit I think I'm in love with you.””

Oh.

You're pretty sure your heart falls right out of your ass and bounces across the rug, judging from the way it comes to a dead stop. You blink at him. Full of new and sinking kind of dread, you whisper, "...I said that out loud?"

He laughs, but it's tinged with incredulity and sounds a little too close to a sob for comfort. "Yes! You did!"

And wait, no, your heart is still stuck in your chest, because you can feel it start pounding against your ribcage in double, triple, quadruple time. He must see the fear in your expression, because suddenly his eyes are narrowed in a determined scowl and he growls, "Oh no you don't."

Then you find yourself going down with a yelp as Seungkwan octopuses himself around you, trapping you within the confines of his surprisingly strong arms and legs as he basically tackles you to the floor.

You try and wiggle away even as you know it's useless, and he grits, "Y/n dammit, answer my question."

"Why were you even awake?” You deflect, getting an arm free and trying to give him a wedgie. “You were supposed to be asleep!"

"I was supposed to be asleep?!” He screeches, easily evading your reach and poking your ribs to get you to reflexively pull back your arm. “You're the one who hasn't slept in literal days! And stop avoiding my question!"

"No!" He has you trapped once again, and you resort to licking his arm.

"Oh my god!"

He muffles his scream into your shoulder, long and frustrated, and then he just... goes limp. He loosens his hold and just lets his full body weight kinda crush the parts of you he's ended up lying on and just... lays there.

This is your chance, you know — to wiggle free and escape and run away from your feelings just like you always have.

But, for some reason, you don't — that scrunched-up thing in your chest holds you back. You stay there, lying beneath Seungkwan on the floor of your living room at one-something in the morning, and the two of you just breathe.

"It's okay, you know," he murmurs after a moment, so quiet you barely hear him over David Attenborough still narrating softly in the background. "If you didn't mean it. It's okay."

Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.

And you realize how easy it would be to play it off, to blame it on the sleep deprivation, the way you blurted it out like that — to say (to lie) you meant it completely platonically, like the way you propose to Mingyu at least once a month when he cooks you all dinner.

And you also realize, quite shockingly, that despite how a part of you still desperately wants to run away, the larger part of you wants to stay. Doesn't want to run. Doesn't want to lie anymore.

You swallow heavily, briefly close your eyes, and take in a deep breath. "And if I did? Mean it?"

This time, you do notice when Seungkwan goes still. Slowly, he lifts his head so he can look you in the eyes.

When he doesn't say anything, just continues to look at you with an unreadable expression, you try to continue.

"Would you— would that— would it be okay? If I meant it? When I— when I said that I'm in love with you? Is— because um, like you said, it's okay if it's not, and uh—"

Your nervous rambling comes to a stop when he once again cups your face, but it's gentler than before, closer to a caress. The whole time you'd been talking he'd been slowly sitting up, and now he's on his knees next to where you're still lying down on the floor, looking down at you like all the hope in the world is somewhere to be found in your expression.

"Y/n." he says your name like it's something precious, and you feel the absurd urge to burst into tears. "It would be very okay." His thumbs make gentle arcs across your cheeks. "And just to be clear: you mean it in a non-platonic sense, right?” He chews on his lip. “Hopefully, in a very much romantic sense?"

Staring at him staring at you, eyes bright with hope and a little bit of wonder... you can only imagine you must be looking at him the same way. Your chest feels like it's full of helium but also like something warm and gooey is sloshing around in there. And all that hope and wonder and holy shit is this actually happening? is causing your tongue to stick to the roof of your mouth, and all you're able to get past your lips is a breathless, "Hopefully?"

"Oh my god," he groans in frustration, but it's light and airy and makes you think of amusement park rides and fairy lights and how you want to annoy the shit out of this man for the rest of his life, if he'll let you. He's shaking his head, smiling, beaming, and he asks, "Why can you never give me any kind of a straight answer, huh?"

"Because it's my life's purpose to be the bane of your existence until the day we die," you say, reaching up to hold his face too. "Also because I've never done anything straight ever in my life."

And then your body is moving before your brain can think it though, dragging him down until you can press your lips to his and finally, finally know what it's like to kiss Boo Seungkwan.

He makes a little noise of surprise, one that you can feel buzz against your lips before he melts into you. And oh, any thoughts you might have had are forcefully ejected from your brain because all you can focus on are his lips pressed to yours, the way they move slowly, gently, turning this chaste kiss into the most scorching experience of your life. His nose bumps against yours and the heat of his warm breath sends tingles throughout your body, and his hands, fuck, his hands are still holding you gently but also with a firmness that feels like he doesn't want to let you go.

And then he's pulling away, and you whine at him because this may be the cruelest thing he's ever done to you ever in your entire life. "Noooooo, why'd you stop?"

"Because, as much as I'd love to continue to make out with you on your floor while an old British man narrates about life on the Serengeti—” he mercifully ignores the way you choke on your spit at the way he talks about making out with you so nonchalantly "—it's past someone's bedtime."

Your mouth drops open in offended shock. Was he actually going to put you to bed like a child? Like you both hadn't just declared your romantic love for each other? "Are you fucking serious?"

He just stands up and crosses his arms, looking down at you with a single raised eyebrow. You take the part of you that finds it annoyingly attractive and promptly smother it, crossing your own arms from your position on the floor.

"I'm not a baby," you definitely don't pout.

"Hmmm...” And then the bastard fucking pouts at you. “But you're my baby."

You blink at him.

"Welp, that was nice while it lasted,” you grunt, rolling to your feet, “but I suddenly need to relocate to Antarctica and become a penguin herder.”

He pulls you into his arms with a laugh, and you let him, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.

“You know,” he starts after he's held you for a few moments. “This isn't how I ever imagined how us confessing to each other would go.”

You snort.

“But also,” he continues, “it feels very 'us' doesn't it?”

"Yeah,” you murmur, not bothering to lift your head from his shoulder.

“Mmm, is someone finally sleepy?” he teases, starting to waddle you both towards your bedroom. “Did all the emotions finally wear you out?”

Instead of nodding, you lightly kick him in the shin and the sappy part of your brain that is currently in charge of everything thinks that his indignant squawk is one of your most favorite sounds.

The sappy part of your brain is right, of course, and when you wake up in your bed 15 hours later and accidentally smack him in the face, the urge to run is a little bit smaller than it was before. And the way he flushes bright red after you sleepily kiss him on the cheek is an image you're going to cherish until the day you die.

[han4el]

How I see the moon signs, as a cancer rising + leo moon

— Aries Moon

So insane... love it. I just never know what to expect from them. When I think I start to understand them, I discover a new layer to them, a new heatwave incoming, ready to melt any drop of hypocrisy, fakeness or illusions. Personally, I never had close friends with this placement, but I've seen them being very supportive with their close ones. Even if they sometimes say something rude or out of the pocket, it's usually good intended and they only say it if they think it's absolutely necessary (unless you're annoying to them, then they'll just straight up bully you).

Random associations: PE competitions in middle school, angry apologies, crying and laughing at the same time, being mad at someone for being nice to you, being the life of the party for the "the life of the party" people, the best friend of the popular/famous girl, getting giddy with your pet after just yelling at someone, MOOD SWINGS, having a favorite person that shapes your personality more than you think, friendly bullying, loyalty, no bs, no cap, you get what you give, nothing more and nothing less, being remembered by that one friend who checks on you everytime you're struggling, night car rides, uncontrollably laughing in serious situations, red velvet cake, cinnamon, sharp eyeliner, messy hair, making a competition out of anything and getting mad at the fact that you're the only one taking it seriously, always trying to be the best, long-term friendships (like 10 years long), sunstrokes, nosebleeds, blacking out, tremors before fighting, mafia romance, russian models, dry red wine, learning how to fight just to defend yourself, fast life, being in a relationship with someone you low-key hate, fruity and spicy perfumes, enjoying burning paper as a way of releasing stress, feeling relaxed after getting someone else mad instead, forgetting to eat, mixing random pieces but somehow making the outfit work, being the only one who can pull off a piece of clothing or a specific style (usually it looking weird on other people), scratch marks after playing with your pets, having new big dreams every month, red hair, freckles, tanned skin, arm wrestling, boys teasing their crushes, the one who always gets in trouble.

What I love about this placement: the commitment, ambition, devotion, the passion, the energy, the random bursts of emotions. If you need someone to inspire you into doing something, call these guys. They'll make you want to change your life 360° in one night (and most probably actually doing half of those things in one week). They're really good at just getting the sh*t done themselves. Unapologetically authentic and autonomous. The developed ones are actually very good at controlling their feelings and using them for their advantage. Maybe it's just me, but the aries moons I've seen had really pretty skin, usually with freckles. Oh and their noses are usually very pointy or just look that way. Their faces overall just seem very athletic. You might think they do sports even if they don't (they secretly do). Very serious about their purpose. Will never look at you again if you take their dedication for granted. Also, won't waste their time with you if they sense your weak morale, lack of self-awareness or if you don't really wish to change anything in your life. That's an ick for them.

What I dislike about this placement: how fast they forget their old projects and sometimes ex friends (I know it's for their own good, though). Their impulsivity... they will look you in the eyes and say the most gut wrenching threat then forget completely about it 5 minutes later and act all weird if you remind them of it as if it's your fault that you made them "mad enough to behave like that". That loud a** voice in those situations when y'all REALLY have to keep it down 😭 also they're rarely empathetic, so don't run to them when you have a problem (unless you're bffs, then they'll fight whoever hurt you).

My experience with them: 6/10

I might make this a series. Tell me what you think.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝔹𝕦𝕚𝕝𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕤𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @yulikesminori

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

Astral Express once more stopped in Belebog to say hello to friends again! During winter, it had especially a lot of snow! And what's better way than have some fun using it~?

Stelle, Dan Heng and Himeko went to say hello to Bronya, while the rest stayed in the express! But not for long... You soon discovered that March wanted to stay in not because of we laziness, but because she wanted to use the big amount of snow with you!

Mr. Welt probably expected it... because not putting much of a fight, he just made sure you're dressed warmly and let you go, as long as you stay in his and PomPom's view from express's window.

"Think how surprised everyone's gonna be when they come back to see a snow fort in front of express!"

"Heh~ Yeah, that's definitely bound to be interesting. But... it might be hard looking at the snow here..."

"You forget who got the ice power here~"

She held up her hand showing off her powers, also proving fragile snow may not be a problem for you after all!

"Alright, alright, I get it. You're our savior~ Well... Should we go for something like iglo or..."

"Let's start with iglo and then we can upgrade it into a palace!"

You nodded to her, thinking you should've expected that sort of answer... But it only motivated you to get to work sooner rather than later!

You began collecting snow and setting it in a circle while pink haired girl used her ice powers on every new batch of snow to keep it securely in place and avoid the snow fort falling over you when you enter...

When everything was secured, you made a few circles around the base, to sew if you didn't miss a spot... and then, March volunteered the risk the possibility of disappearing under white powder!

"I'll go check it inside is good too!"

"You sure? I don't mind doing it..."

"Yup! I have the power here after all hehe~"

"Fair point... Good luck!"

She gave you a nod with small "mhm!" sound before entering.. when you kneeled to see exactly what she was doing there, you noticed she was safe and only secured few more parts... especially on the roof!

"It's good! Come here!!"

Encouraged by her sudden statement, you decided to immidietly take the chance and entered your own construction!

Inside was blindingly white... and a bit cold... But nonetheless, definitely less than outside of it! At least here you didn't had to worry about wind as much...

"We should get games here! And maybe something to warm up with..."

"Maybe hot chocolate!"

"Oh, perfect! We can bring whole kettle to be sure we won't run out!"

You got up to leave but her hand snatched you back.

"What was that for-?!"

"Shh..."

She successfully shushed you, as you were a bit too curious what this is all about... When you listened closely, you heard 3 pair of shoes going through thick snow of Belebog and small chatted between well known 2 women...

March switched her loud voice to a whisper to tell you everything, plan included!

"They're coming back...! How do we surprise them... Maybe..."

Whil she was thinking, another voice came from outside, belonging to a male. The calmness made it pretty clear it must've been Dan Heng...

"March, come out before you get sick again. You too Y/N."

"Huh-?!"

Both of you were stunned as to how he could tell so precisely who was hiding inside the construction immidietly... Also successfully ruining your plan...

You found it a little bit disappointing but March? She found it not only disappointing but also a bit annoying that both of you went through so much struggle just for him to ruin it without even falling for it first!!

"Dan Heng!! At least pretend you don't know next time to let others play guess game!"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋ 2024 ᴀᴅᴠᴇɴᴛ ᴄᴀʟᴇɴᴅᴀʀ

[alittlebitofloveliness]

In the magical world where Two-Bit Matthews try’s to be better post-Book. Do you think he would find comfort in being a protector of sorts the way that Dallas kind of was? Cause I think he would struggle with his role in the group post-book. But idk what are your thoughts?

Ohhhh this is such an interesting question for so many reasons!

First of all, Two-bit trying to be better means he has to face the fact that he has problems to begin with, and we know that that is not his strong suit. He drinks for courage, and he drinks to forget, and he jokes to cope with harsh realities. If Two-bit is trying to be better then Dally and Johnny's deaths must have truly shaken him to his core. He's more than just grieving some of his best friends, he's actively changing. Which is good, but would absolutely be messy. Two-bit is a messy character even in canon, trying to reckon with his mistakes and 'do better' for the gang would be a slow process.

I do think part of the strain would come from him not knowing how to navigate the shift in dynamic within the gang now that Dally and Johnny are gone, however I think people tend to underestimate Two-bit's maturity. He isn't going to struggle or grieve the way Pony or even Soda might. Two-bit, canonically, while a jokester, is pretty grounded, and is the closest in age to Darry in the gang. He doesn't have much of a temper, he takes care of Ponyboy (and used to take care of Johnny), and he 'knows the score'. He- along with Darry- probably be what KEEPS the gang together post book, a comforting, familiar presence, not unchanged by Dally and Johnny's deaths but not completely destroyed by them either.

But two-bit as a defender is an interesting thought. Because he already is in canon, his protection just looks a little different. it's not as blatant as Darry's or as intense as Dally's, but it's very clearly there. Two-bit looks out for Pony and Johnny like he does any of the gang, with a little extra emphasis because they're everyones little brothers. Him showing up at the drive in is a great example of this, and I'm not just talking about the altercation with Bob and Randy, I'm talking about how Two-bit saw Pony and Johnny, the 'kids' of the gang, talking with senior soc girls, saw the potential for trouble, and went over to check on them immediately, without being obvious enough that Pony or Johnny could pick up on it. But it's so clear that's what he was doing. So, in canon verse Two is already protective, in his own way.

Now this ask is about post canon Two-bit. While I don't think the way he's protective would change, I think he'd be a lot more cognizant of it. I don't think Two-bit sees HIMSELF as a protector, but I imagine he'd try and start drinking less so he can be present a bit more, keep extra tabs on Pony to ease Darry's mind and in turn kind of protect HIM. Grief does funny things to people, but responsibility is even more potent, and I think the loss of Johnny and Dally would force Two-bit to step up in such a way that he'd grow even more 'adult' without ever really growing up if that makes sense

Sorry if this is rambly and incoherent I am exhausted. Thanks for the ask xx

[bonny-kookoo]

Snoeball being part of Jungkook's recent live? How would army react to that?

A/N: since yall always want angst..

Jungkook sometimes forgets that while he might think of his fans often throughout the day, they're not with him all the time. They don't know everything that he does- and they're not just a bunch of angels, willing to accept whatever decision he might make for himself.

So it's unsurprising that when the chat fills with messages, it's not just happy comments and hearts and innocent questions.

It's many, Many confused people, some even angry and upset at the implications of the visual situation he's in. Not because he's shirtless, or in bed-

But because he's shirtless, and in bed, with you right beside him, still asleep.

There's no way he can talk himself out of this so quickly, so he struggles, attempts to mask his own horror and growing panic by acting as if his connection is junk. It's not- it's perfectly fine, but he needs to buy himself some time to think of any way to explain why you'd be in the same bed with him almost naked.

Well, at least you're wearing a top- although the clear Calvin Klein logo on the corner up top near the neckline makes it somewhat worse, because it's clear from the fit alone and the way too big size that it's not yours-

And in his household, the only logical conclusion would be that it's his.

He's in deep shit.

There's no way he can just be honest- just go 'oh yeah, Snowball and I had sex and went to bed late' because at the end of the day these people watching him right now aren't his friends. A lot of them aren't even his fans right now. He's sure of it. They're probably fuming, disappointed, and angry.

And he's got no clue how to talk himself out of it.

Jimin seems to save the day however- asking in the chat if your nightmares had cleared up throughout the night- and Jungkook immediately grabs that lifeline thrown towards him by his bandmate.

"Ah yes, her nightmares.." he offers, nodding. "Hm, Snowball had a panic attack last night from the thunderstorm, so she slept in my bed." He nods, licking his lips in nervousness, hoping no one catches him lying. "I got a little lazy because I was really tired, so I gave her my shirt I was wearing so she can sleep a bit better. Because, you know, hybrids are really sensitive to scents. So I thought it might help, you know?" He offers, and it seems like it's somewhat working.

'She's drowning in it' jimin comments. Jungkook laughs.

"Ah yeah, my size is way too big on her.' He jokes, hopes to somewhat elevate the mood, as he changes the topic to something else.

He knows he fucked up.

He knows especially after ending the live, and checking social media- online magazines already feeding on his mistake like vultures, calling it 'suspicious', and picking out comments from netizens who call his actions inappropriate and even worse things. How he shouldn't let you sleep in his bed, how this could be possibly all just a play from his side to see if people would accept it if he was to be in a realtionship-

And he wants to cry like a toddler left alone in a mall, because it's just not fair.

He loves you, so much, and he wishes he could just do that openly. But no matter if hybrid or not, there's just no way anyone could ever survive being his partner.

Jimin calls his phone. He picks up.

"Aish Jungkookie, what were you thinking?" He scolds softly, and Jungkook just sighs, running a hand through his hair before he looks at you, still sleeping, barely having moved at all, unaware of the things happening. "I heard from Yoongi. About you.. three. I'm happy, I really am- but don't be so reckless." His bandmate reminds him.

"I know. I'm sorry." He offers. "I didn't.. think. I really didn't. I should've." He scolds himself, upset at it all. Now he's back at square one with you- and everyone involved. Now people will put every interaction between you and the band on a pedestal to gawk at and analyze.

He ruined it.

"Well figure it out. For now, just lay low." He offers. "Management will probably have a word with you soon."

"I'm sorry." Jungkook apologizes again. "I ruined it."

"Not yet." Jimin tries to reassure. "I'm sure some will be mad- yoongi-hyung is gonna tear you a new one that's for sure. But it'll die down." He tells the younger singer over the phone. "She's safe with us, down the line. We've got security that's top notch."

"But now we can't let her be seen with anybody anymore." He whines. "She had so much fun in the UK with me, and with Suga-hyung on his tour and now I fucked it up and she won't get to do any of it anymore." Jungkook complains, gripping his hair.

"Like I said, we'll figure it out." Jimin tells him. "For now, calm down. Sort your head a bit."

"I feel horrible." Jungkook reveals. "Just looking at her- I'm so stupid." He shakes his head at nothing.

"You're just innocent when it comes to these things." Jimin sighs on the other end of the line. "You'll learn."

"I just want people to.. accept us." Jungkook complains stubbornly. "What's so bad about what we have?"

"Absolutely nothing." His friend responds. "Like I said, calm down first. We'll figure out where to go from here." He offers.

"What if they take Snowball away now?" Jungkook whimpers. "Just because of me?"

"Jungkook they literally can't. She's filed for independent living, remember?" He says, and it's then that it hits Jungkook.

You did file for independence. You did get it approved.

You don't belong to anyone but yourself. You simply choose to stay with the boys, with him, because you want to. No one can take you away because you're technically your own legal guardian.

You're safe.

You won't leave.

And as he hangs up with a thanks to his friend, his phone clatters down onto the floor forgotten as he wraps his arms around you, tightly, so he can remind himself that you'll stay even if this all goes south.

You won't leave him alone, even if they all hate you and him.

You won't leave him alone.

And neither will he.

[authorautism]

Senku X Autistic!Gn!Reader headcanons

To start this guy is autistic I know it science is his SPIN and I love that for him so so much. For how the relationship starts there's two ways Senku and Reader are childhood friends though in middle school Reader kisses Senku because their peers talked about how they seem to be dating already. Reader decides that the peck on the check they gave Senku and he didnt wipe off is good enough evidence that they're probably dating now. Senku meanwhile literally forgets this happened and their friendship doesn't change at all. He is completely unaware of his own feelings but not in a "oh he's in denial way" but a "it's always been like this with them they're one of the most important people to me" way. And just waking up in the stone world Reader introduces themself as Senku's partner and everyone is shocked. Que Senku finally realizing his feelings and after tinkering alone in his lab he presents a gift of science OFC to confess and Reader is just like "We've been dating for like 2 years Ku… I thought we just agreed to take it slow after the first kiss is all." AUGH I love this so much.

Number 2 is both have no idea they're basically dating connected at the hip both post and pre stone age. Then Senku realizes that he hasn't been spending as much time with his favourite person and gets frustrated, which turns into wondering why he cares so much. Like he can spend a day or more away from his other best friends and it never effects him this much at all what's so different with them? Of course he goes to talk about this with Reader since that's what he always does and sees Ryusui flirting with them [playfully] and jealousy just fills him and 'oh oh no.' He understands now why didn't he see the signs in himself much sooner? Though after beating himself up a bit later that evening he just talks to Reader about it. Que very cute blunt confession from Senku that has the Reader giggly and stimming as they explain how they like him in the same way too!

He just is so amazing with a partner like him they take turns info dumping about their SPINs and Senku rebuilds things for them and it's great for both of them. Personally I don't see Senku struggling with sensory issues too much but if/when his partner does he's so so good about it. Need some dark time he is already telling people you need some time as he leads you to an empty hut. Ginro is being too loud? He's told him to be quiet while offering some freshly made ear defenders to you. He 1 billion percent makes sure to have anything you may need on him all the time. But the thing I can see him struggling with is helping during verbal shutdowns. When Senku is in a verbal shutdown he doesn't really pay any mind to the fact he can't speak he isn't exactly a social butterfly, as long as he can still work on things and hand over telling people what to do to Gen he's content. So playing translator/voice while you're in a verbal shutdown isn't something that comes to mind with him at first. But he of course knows sign to still be able to communicate with you.

Also everyone else thinking y'all are going to have some sort of weird or chaotic relationship are always surprised at how "normal" it is. Senku and you both have dates planned on a shared calendar in your hut and regularly try to meet during the day to have quiet chats. Reader is definitely more physically affectionate because he just forgets that he can just do that whenever he wants with them. Greeting him with a crushing hug before each chat he claims it helps him reset from his science and really focus on you. And just holding hands while you walk together, he isn't big on PDA not that he is flustered by it or anything like that but because he tries to play by societies rules and that's usually a no go all the time.

Ok small drabble time: You pause your work as you see Gen approaching, wondering why he was here since he was assigned a different task from you and not to mention it wasn't time for a break yet either.

"Excuse me," He chimes in pig latin followed by your name. "I was just wondering what do you and Senku get up to on your secret dates."

"Well they're not really secret at all Gen. We have them on our calendar and I think everyone comes and goes from there all day?" Confusion clear you try and figure out what Gen means though his use of pig latin usually means he's being playful are lying.

"Some of the villagers think you're doing mad science while you're gone since Senku is always bursting with energy the next day. But I'm just here to set the record straight rumours like that should be squashed fast?" He leans closer to you as he spoke understanding now clear to you.

"Oh, well that's because we usually talk about that sort of stressful stuff on our dates. Then we also kiss a bunch which is always amazing and he tells me about what we're going to work on next and the road map to finally rebuilding society. And I tell him about how I've started teaching more advance music to Kinro and Suika and how they're improving over all." Nodding your head to punctuate each thing that happens on your date.

"But that's so normal. That's really all it takes to get him excited for more science. How boring." With that Gen sulks away though knowing him he may have just lost a bet from learning that.

NSFW Below cut

On that same calendar y'all plan when your'e having sex. With Senku's normal to low sex drive it's never more then 3 times a week at most usually with one being the night of your date. Speaking of dates are a FULL DAY event not only do you both unwind in each others company. You also discuss what you want to do for the scene later tonight. ALOT of they sex you have is scenes even more tame nights since the planning helps you both feel more comfortable in what will happen.

I can see Senku as either playing a service top though more in the sense of making you feel good is important to him. Heavy into oral he definitely has a habit of chewing things as he thinks and you are no different to his clothes, pencils and even paper clips. So 9 times out of 10 it turns into a sensory seeking thing for him rather then actually getting you off. But you can never say no to him when he looks at you like that. Most of his service top lays heavy on being of use to you seeing him as a sex toy gets him way off especially if you say how science is involved in some way. When he's in service top mode he prefers face when another so usually opts for missionary most of the time just so he can see how he's making you feel and admire how pretty you are to him. Post stone age he has a massive breeding kink so this paired with being a sort of robot fuck machine that's only job is to come in you has him really going. Though even if you can't get pregnant expect him to talk about how mpreg could be possible in some way instead of getting rest. Now on the other hand he does also enjoy being a sub top he doesn't enjoy bottoming since the sensations are just too much for him. But he's more then happy to have you riding him at your own pace for as long as you want. Cock warming is a big yes for him though harder to do in the stone age but before he would always ask for you to ride him as you do your homework. Ask him questions you don't get to really see his brain buffer. Enjoys cowgirl and reverse mating presses a LOT honestly when he's in sub space he will go with any position you discus beforehand with ease. Now onto kinks overall I think Senku is mostly vanilla but open to trying most things. Minus degradation and any sort of real pain. Very big into ownership sex is one of the few times his mind really turns off minus his counting so just being and listening to what you tell him to do is amazing for him. Can get behind roleplay but will often get too involved into creating a big story that he forgets about the sex. There have been many evening ruined by debating how Mecha Senku would be able to cum and if he can get anyone pregnant with synthetic cum. Major rope bunny tie him up he LOVES the deep pressure it resets his brain in the best ways. You definitely tie his arm straps for him daily making it both a ownership thing and just so romantic. Temperature play though he prefers cold to heat a ice cube sliding against his heated skin is amazing sensory input for him. I sadly don't see him being very sensitive with certain areas but Estim has him in a choke hold using science for sex is the best of both worlds for you. PRASIE HIM please he needs it every session talk about how he's making you feel, how pretty he is, how good he looks with his brain off anything and everything he craves it. Finally last but never least orgasm control always tell him when he can cum or you'll have a very edged Senku. Finally aftercare; usually split even between you two no matter what the scene was. It's a team effort to clean one another up and change the bedding. Senku doesn't usually get sub drop or anything since pain and degradation is very removed from scenes but he is always quick to communicate how thing were for him afterwards and wants the same from you. Cuddling and pillow talk are a must because of that though after you discuses the scene he always make sure to ask about your day in case there was a detail he missed. Tells you about his own day in return and asks if you'd like some science facts to lull you to sleep, his voice is soothing normally but after sex it gets even more intense and rich. Even while asleep you don't separate from one another completely.

[j-a-nuary]

Robotwink 5000

WooSan -> WooSanSang, background SeongJoong (along with references to Princess & Puppy)

Warnings: 🔞non-explicit, but still nsfw🔞 Wooyoung is a sexbot but he's also so much more than that, supernatural elements, told from Hongjoong's POV kinda (I was going for a David Wong-ish thing), San is [checks notes]... it says here "a fucking loser"???, Hongjoong is a genius and knows way too much about his friends' sex lives, Seonghwa is being mysterious, Yeosang is only mentioned.

=====

Wooyoung was having an issue. A clash of sorts - not quite outdated hardware struggling to keep up with a driver patch. Most likely anyway. I hadn't run the diagnostics yet. It wasn't exactly a hassle to do it remotely, but there were other reasons I was hesitating.

When I got the little alert that a file path wasn't working correctly, I had checked if San and his boy toy were live.

They were.

"Something went thunk," Wooyoung moaned as San's hands gripped at his hair, "please try again."

For a second, San looked confused. But then Wooyoung opened his mouth and settled it onto his dick.

"Fuck… Woo…"

San's cumming face was… not as hot as one might expect. Then again, almost no one actually looks good when they're cumming. Except maybe Princess…

Wait, no, gotta focus. For diagnostic purposes, of course.

"Measly little error," Wooyoung positively purred, running his fingers through the streaks of cum San had so kindly deposited onto his face, "try again."

And that, ladies and gents, is how Choi San discovered he liked being degraded.

How do I know what that night was like? Well that's the thing people forget about the Robotwink 5000: he's always recording, and his memory can be downloaded.

Also he and San operate an erotic streaming site that specializes in "True POV".

Perverts.

=====

"Hyung! I have a massive problem!" San was looking around my garage, like he was expecting someone who gave a shit to pop out of the shadows.

"The sexbot I helped you build can only speak in those stupid error codes you wrote, and also you've had an awakening of your degradation kink?"

"God," he sighed deeply, momentarily looking off dreamily, "fuck yeah I have."

I nodded, eyes sticking back on the screen in front of me. I reached for my coffee cup. It felt too light.

"Welcome to the club. Did you bring him over?"

"Wait," San paused, looking suspicious, "how did you already know?"

I shrugged, glaring at my empty coffee cup.

"I saw the footage."

I also paused. For dramatic effect.

"Live."

If I hadn't heard the sounds San makes when he cums, I would have thought a teakettle was signaling its readiness. But I have, so I knew it was just the sound of a loser in distress.

"Should have thought of these things before making that website," I groaned. Standing and stretching for a moment gave San enough time to stop whining. I headed for the coffee machine.

"Can't you just do it remotely?" He asked, trailing after me.

"Sure," I shrugged, "but it helps to have him in front of me."

"Why?"

Something in San's tone made the hair on the back of my neck prickle. I set my cup under the nozzle and punched a few buttons before turning to speak with him.

"Don't you mean 'why's that hyung?'"

He had the decency to look embarrassed, but a defiant tightness remained in his jaw.

"Why's that hyung?"

"Better…" I pursed my lips, eyeing him for a moment before actually answering.

"Less chance of degradation of data if I'm doing tests in person. Also makes pushing any updates faster and easier."

The coffee machine spluttered and dinged, signaling that it was finished. I turned back around to grab it before returning to my work station.

"Fine," San relented, "I'll text him."

=====

"Something goofed!" Wooyoung smiled in greeting, "try again."

"Shit dude, it sure did." I gestured towards my work bench, "take a seat."

"Uh-oh," Wooyoung shrugged before hopping up onto the bench, "that's not available."

"Alright, I have an idea of what the problem might be," I held a cord out towards him, "do you mind?"

"That's just not possible," Wooyoung took the cord. His left eye rotated until the port was visible, and he plugged it in. "Try agaiiiiiiiiìììïîįīîı…"

His voice glitched, changing tone unpredictably until he eventually went silent and still. I turned towards my computer to take a look.

"Ugh," San shuddered, "I still don't understand why you had to make that his port."

"Easy to hide," I muttered, "did you try to teach him French?"

"Huh?"

I pointed at a file folder on my screen. San leaned forward.

"Why would I teach him French?"

I didn't have an answer for that.

"Maybe he did it on his own?" San pressed.

"How would that even happen?" I asked, exasperated. "My code might be good, but he's not going to spontaneously get ideas like that."

"I don't know," San huffed, "why does he know English?"

"Are you seriously going to tell me that hasn't come in handy at least once?"

"No, no, that was a good call I guess."

"This is going to take a while," I sighed, "you want to get dinner? I buy, you fly?"

San made a face, but nodded.

"What?" I asked, already tired of his shit.

"What what?"

"You're obviously feeling some type of way, so just say it."

San was visibly rankled by my calling him out.

"I'm not!" He protested, "I just…"

He glanced at Wooyoung.

I shrugged, laughing as it all came together.

"He was made to your specifications, not mine."

=====

"Puppy?"

I resisted the urge to fall to my knees at the call. Not in front of Wooyoung, inactive as he may be. Definitely not in front of San.

"Puppy?" San blanched, "what the hell?"

I could only shrug. Arguing would just highlight the nickname, and that was the last thing I wanted to happen.

"Ah," Seonghwa approached as quietly as ever, seeming to appear from the shadows rather than walk into the room. "Working on something important?"

I nodded towards Wooyoung's slightly limp form on my work table, "he's having some issues."

"Poor thing," Seonghwa sighed. He stepped closer, reaching out and running his hand through the black and blonde hair on the machine's head. He always did have a soft spot for… well… just about everyone and everything else.

I heard a choked sound from San, something between a cough and a growl. I rolled my eyes.

"Relax Sannie," Seonghwa laughed, "nobody's going to take your precious Wooyoung from you."

My eyes were getting sore from all the rolling they'd been doing today.

=====

"Puppy."

I worked myself closer to master, pressing my nose into his neck and licking at the slightly salty tang of sweat there.

"Let me take a look at Wooyoung's code."

I pushed myself up, sitting so I could give master a questioning look. He smiled up at me, reaching up to run a finger under my chin.

"Speak."

"Does master know coding?"

"Master knows a lot of things," his fingers trailed down to the collar I was currently wearing. He slid one through the loop, tugging me down roughly. "Including some code. Now," his other hand cupped my chin, fingers digging cruelly into the muscles of my jaw, "open up and stick that tongue out for master."

"!"

=====

Whatever Seonghwa did to Wooyoung's code fixed the issue. It did more than that though.

"There's something wrong with Wooyoungie."

San was pacing around a card table I had set up in my garage-turned-workshop.

"Wrong how?" I asked from my swivel chair.

I had several maps laid out on the table. One of just the country and Japan, overlayed with a transparency that I was using to track storms in the East Sea.

He paused, then quickly resumed his circle of anxiety.

"It's hard to explain," he stopped, tugging a milk crate from a shelf to use as a stool, "especially without sounding like an asshole."

"So you'll sound normal then," I laughed.

San cast a hurt scowl in my direction, pouting lips and sharp eyes.

"Sorry," I nodded at him, "tell hyung what's wrong."

He deflated then, slumping onto the only available space on the table. I tensed at the movement, but saw that he had landed on a section that had the Waterman butterfly projection laid out. I hadn't started working on that one yet.

"Hsdfynme," he mumbled into his arms.

"Speak up Sannie."

He groaned, then lifted his head just enough to rest his chin on his arms.

"He's defying me."

I stared at him, blinking as I deciphered his words. After a second, I spoke cautiously.

"You… wanted him bratty though?"

He groaned again, slumping back into his crossed arms. He must have left his mouth free from the material of his sweatshirt though. When he spoke, it was clear enough to be heard over the constant whirring of my assorted projects.

"I think he wants to break up with me."

I snorted, rolling my eyes in the safety of his slumped position.

"He's a robot," I reminded him, "he doesn't want anything."

=====

I want to note that the following has been reconstructed based on a combination of reviewing footage from Wooyoung's internal memory, and some drunken admissions from a night of drinking with just San, me, and Mingi. I've tried to avoid taking too much liberty with the narrative, but observation taints everything. Still, this is, more or less, an accurate depiction of a very personal and tumultuous moment in their relationship.

"I want to fuck Yeosang."

San gripped Wooyoung's hips so tight that he could feel the unnatural sharpness of his frame through his synthetic flesh.

"Y…" he faltered, not quite believing what was happening. "What?"

"Actually I want Yeosang to fuck me," Wooyoung clarified. "And I want you to watch."

San was no longer interested in testing the limits of the new lube they were trying out.

The lube was less viscous than their usual brand, less likely to gunk up the works of Wooyoung's self-lubricating system. I would be embarrassed to admit how much time I spent working on this, but it actually has more applications than you might think.

"Why'd you stop?" Wooyoung asked.

San released his hold on Wooyoung. Unsteady on his knees, he quickly fished through the sheets to find his boxers.

"Sannie?"

San ignored the call of his name. He had gone pale, feeling ill. Tugging the boxers on, he scrambled over to his desk. Stacks of mail, magazines, and seemingly every other bit of paper that filtered through his life were lifted and ruffled through.

"What's wrong?"

San grit his teeth, wishing Wooyoung would stop talking. He should have accepted my offer of a remote control. He should have just stuck to fleshlights. He should have fucking organized his desk!

"San…" Wooyoung was quieter now, but the call of San's name was accompanied by a soft touch against his arm this time.

"Don't touch me!" San lashed out, shaking his arm away from Wooyoung.

"Sannie just talk to me," Wooyoung pleaded.

No, San thought to himself, robots don't know how to beg.

"I can't believe my fucking sex toy wants to fuck other people," San muttered, turning his attention back to his search through his desk.

"I'm not your sex toy San," Wooyoung snapped, "I'm your boyfriend."

San whirled, clenched fists at his sides, only to be met with Wooyoung sulking.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?!"

"I don't know," Wooyoung pouted. "I don't like when you say things like that. At least not when your dick isn't in me at the same time."

San shook his head, turning once more towards his desk. He knew the manual had to be somewhere around here.

"You literally don't like anything. You don't dislike anything. You do what you're programmed to do except now there's some fucking error that makes it so that even my glorified fucking fleshlight says I'm not fucking good enough," he continued his search as he spoke, "as if I didn't specifically commission you to avoid exactly this fucking issue. Finally!"

San held the very unofficial, very handwritten, user manual in his hands. Turning to face Wooyoung, he started flipping through the pages.

"I know there's a fucking off switch…" he mumbled, trying to decode my handwriting.

Note: my handwriting is perfectly fine. San is just a dumbass.

"Off switch? Sannie, what are you planning to do?" Wooyoung took a few steps back from San.

"A full fucking reset," San didn't look up, still piecing together the scrawl on lined paper, "if I have to."

"San… baby," Wooyoung took stock of how he was, unfortunately, on the opposite side of the room from the door, "you don't want to do that. Not really, right? Let's just talk about this, okay?"

"Vol… volume control?" San read aloud, "god this would have come in useful a few times."

"You can't do this," Wooyoung kept trying to get through to him, "you'll end up regretting it!"

"I already do!" San finally looked up from the papers in his hands.

"You don't mean that."

"Mute…"

"San don't!"

"Authorization…"

"Please!"

"Number…"

"Baby please!"

"8-1-8-1."

Wooyoung's mouth kept working but no sound came out. He looked confused for a moment, then angry. San shook his head and turned back to the manual.

"Fucking stupid," he muttered.

He ran his fingertip down the page, looking for anything that seemed relevant.

Wooyoung took to throwing a silent tantrum. He threw pillows at San, who simply lifted an arm to guard against them as he read.

"Can't believe I fell for a fucking machine…"

Wooyoung tore the blankets off the bed next. They proved much less throwable than the pillows however.

"Should have known he… it, couldn't love me back…"

Wooyoung paused.

San wasn't reading anymore. Not really. He had found the power down command already. Now he was just trying to psyche himself up to actually use it.

Normally, he could have just asked Wooyoung to shut down. He didn't think he'd agree in the current situation however.

"Power down, authorization number 8-1-8-1."

The room was still. Silent.

"Just one person that didn't eventually get bored with me," San finally looked over to Wooyoung.

Wooyoung stood, still as a statue, duvet still in hand. He held it against his chest, as he had thought it might protect him.

"Was that really so much to ask for?"

=====

"What did you do to his code?"

Seonghwa looked up from his book with mild curiosity.

A frantic knocking had interrupted our perfectly good warming session. Seonghwa had given me permission to answer the door before casually tucking himself away as I made my way across the apartment.

I ran my tongue along my bottom lip, nervous about him possibly guessing what master and I had been up to.

"Hello to you too, San."

"Hyung," San gripped the front of my shirt. He looked like he was about to cry, "what did you do to him?"

"It wasn't Hongjoong," Seonghwa called from his position on my couch. "I fixed the verbalization issue."

San dropped his hands from where he was holding onto me, pushing past me to stare at Seonghwa.

"You did something to him," he almost whispered, "you changed him."

Seonghwa shook his head.

"No," he said curtly, "I only let him speak freely. So he could tell you what he wants."

"What does that even mean?!" San was getting angry now. I stepped forward, trying to place a calming hand on his back.

"Get off!"

The shove sent me teetering, dangerously close to falling.

Immediately, Seonghwa was on his feet. I felt his hand on my arm, saving me from falling to the floor. I regained my feet, offering a quiet thanks to him as we watched San start his pacing.

"He's a machine hyung. He doesn't have wants or needs. He serves a purpose!"

Seonghwa caught him by his collar. San let out a strangled yelp, trying to pry Seonghwa's fingers from the cloth and get away.

Seonghwa's grip only tightened.

"You should be kinder to the things you care for, Choi San."

Maybe I should have reviewed the patch that Seonghwa had written. When Wooyoung had passed testing with flying colors, I hadn't bothered. I trusted Seonghwa. Besides, if anything, Wooyoung had done better than when he was first judged as operating well enough to go to San. Before the errors had started. There had been zero indication that any problems would arise from the fix.

"I am kind to him!" San argued, "I give him everything he needs!"

Seonghwa only stared at him. I knew that look, very well. He would stay silent as long as it took for San to finally te-

"At least I thought I did."

San deflated, putting some of his weight onto Seonghwa's hold on him.

Seonghwa and I both stayed quiet, letting him say what he needed to.

"But he doesn't want me anymore."

I frowned. That was literally impossible. Wooyoung was built specifically for San. He was basically coded to be obsessed with him, including tons of specific coding to avoid any potentially harmful behaviors that could arise from that obsession.

"Did he say that?" Seonghwa asked, "did he say that he doesn't want you?"

San was crying. I'm not saying that to embarrass him, it's just the truth of the matter. He was crying and leaning forward to cry against Seonghwa's shoulder.

"No… but he…"

Seonghwa, reading the situation with the same ease as always, took a few steps backwards. He kept San with him, bringing him to the sofa to sit and let out everything we needed to know.

"He told me he wants…" San swallowed thickly, unable to look up yet, "he wants Yeosang."

"You fucking idiot," I couldn't help but let out a derisive laugh. "He doesn't want Yeosang!"

San looked up at me, watery and confused.

"Well maybe he does," Seonghwa shrugged.

I shot Seonghwa a dirty look. He smiled in return.

"Okay fine, but that's not the point."

"What do you mean?" San's voice quavered.

"I mean," I took a seat in one of the chairs I had recently bought to replace the folding ones that usually stood in my living room, "that it's you who wants Yeosang. Wooyoung just picked up on it."

San's mouth opened, surprised. He worked it shut and open and shut a few times.

"Why don't you tell us exactly what Wooyoung said, hmm?" Seonghwa gently asked.

"He said… he said he wanted Yeosang to," San cleared his throat.

We waited.

"He wants Yeosang to fuck him," he finally admitted, "while I watch."

It was Seonghwa's turn to laugh. He immediately apologized, patting San's shoulder softly.

"Sorry," he laughed again, "really. Sorry."

I groaned, leaning back and making a decision.

"Sannie," I started, "I'm going to explain something. I don't really want to talk about it a lot though, okay?"

San nodded.

"You know that I'm bisexual, right?"

Seonghwa's eyebrows lifted, unsure about where I was about to go with this.

San's head tilted, eyebrows furrowing.

"Really?" His lips formed a pout, "I didn't know. But why is th-"

I waved a hand to cut him off.

"It's not important. But on top of that I…" I glanced at Seonghwa.

He was watching me, a single eyebrow lifted. Thanks to San still leaning against his chest, San missed the expression.

"I was, until recently, in a relationship with two people."

San's mouth dropped open. It stayed open this time.

Seonghwa had a strange expression on his face. I would have said it was unreadable, but I knew him better than that. It was a warning. Don't share too many details, puppy. That's what the expression was saying.

"You…" San started, then shook his head. "Did they… know? About each other?"

I nodded.

The room went quiet. San was obviously digesting the information. Seonghwa was busy boring into me with his eyes. I ignored it, knowing I was creating a discussion for myself. What did he want me to do? If I said or did anything in reaction, San would definitely put two and two together - regardless of how upset he was.

"So, what?" San finally spoke up, "what are you suggesting?"

I sighed, leaning forward to place a hand on his knee.

"San, you have held onto your feelings for Yeosang fo-"

"I don't have feelings for Yeosang!" He protested. He squirmed, freeing himself from Seonghwa's arm and standing up again. "I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Wooyoung is just offering you what you want," Seonghwa explained. "Although he may have miscalculated his approach."

"I don't want to watch Yeosang fuck my boyfriend!"

I glanced at Seonghwa, sharing a lifted eyebrow across the small living space.

"I thought he was just a machine?" I prodded.

"He's… I didn't… it's none of your business what he is to me!"

"If I had to guess," Seonghwa sat forward, crossing his legs to rest his arms against his knee, "Wooyoung didn't just pick up on your attraction to Yeosang…"

San started stuttering out protests, but Seonghwa just kept talking, pushing the conversation forward.

"He probably also picked up on your hesitancy and anxiety about it. He knows you want him, but won't let yourself have him."

I nodded, thinking it over. It was barely a secret between our group of friends and coworkers that San was hopelessly pining for Yeosang. If we could pick it up, Wooyoung - with his array of sensors that could pick up the most minute of changes in a person - would have had no problem noticing it.

"That makes sense," I agreed, "honestly his offer isn't half bad. He probably just didn't propose it properly."

=====

I'll have to admit, the following was shared with me exclusively by Wooyoung. I'm unsure if San knows that I know this. Overall, it doesn't really change anything about how things ended up. It does, however, show that San - for all his blustering mood swings - truly does have a caring heart.

Wooyoung swayed slightly, his booting up taking an extra moment. Typically, he was restarted in a seated position, or laying down. Starting up while standing made him take a few extra microseconds, as his system prioritized his balance before anything else.

He then took a brief moment to himself to review his memories.

Everything seemed to be where he had left it.

"Baby?"

He zoomed in, zoomed out, refocused. The voice was immediately in front of him. San came into focus, crisp as a granny smith apple and clear as crystal.

"You didn't wipe me."

Wooyoung could see the tears gather along San's lower eyelid, building up until the surface tension broke.

"I'm sorry baby," San whispered, reaching up to hold Wooyoung's face, "I should never have said that."

"You scared me Sannie."

"I know. I'm so sorry. I would never do that to you," more tears slid down San's cheeks, "you know that right?"

"You were so mad," Wooyoung replied simply, "I didn't know what you would do."

San let a full sob out, throwing his arms around Wooyoung and crying into his shoulder.

Wooyoung lifted his arms, holding San close.

"I'm so sorry baby. I really am. I would never wipe you! You're perfect right now. I was just so scared!"

"You still shouldn't have said it," Wooyoung admonished. He didn't think the time was quite right to forgive San. Not yet.

"I know! I won't baby. I'll never say it again, I swear!"

San stood up straight, once again taking Wooyoung's face into his hands.

"I was so scared," his voice cracked as he explained, "I thought you were tired of me. I thought you…"

His lips and chin quivered, betraying his efforts to keep from crying more.

Wooyoung leaned forward, kissing his cheek gently.

"I could never be tired of you, Sannie."

San pulled his face so that he could kiss him properly. He laid wet kisses against Wooyoung's lips between his words.

"I know."

Kiss.

"I love you baby."

Kiss.

"I need you."

Kiss.

"I love you."

Wooyoung stopped him from kissing him again.

"You're dehydrated Sannie. Let's get you some water."

San pouted, but let Wooyoung go.

Wooyoung made his way into the small kitchen, trailed by San. He got down a glass and filled it at the sink, all while San plastered himself to his back.

Wooyoung turned in San's arms, holding up the glass.

"Drink."

Obediently, San took the cup. He drained it and placed it on the counter next to Wooyoung.

"When did you last eat?"

San mumbled something, but Wooyoung knew what he needed. Internally, he placed an order.

"Food will be here in about half an hour," he said.

"You don't have to-"

"I already ordered," Wooyoung cut him off. "Now explain."

San blinked, like he had somehow forgotten about Wooyoung's wifi connection. He shook his head and sighed.

"When you mentioned Yeosang…" he paused, as if he was unsure about what to say. "I thought you wanted to leave me."

A few pieces slid into place for Wooyoung.

"But you love Yeosang."

"No, baby," San shook his head again, "I love you."

"I know. But you also love Yeosang."

San stared at him.

"You don't have to choose. I just thought you might feel better about it if it was all three of us."

San didn't say anything for a solid minute. He just stood there, staring at Wooyoung like he didn't know if he wanted to kiss him or force him to power down again.

"Three?" Was all he managed to say once he eventually got his voice working again.

Wooyoung nodded.

"But…"

San visibly gulped.

Wooyoung waited.

"If you knew… why would you…"

Wooyoung lifted a hand to San's cheek, an attempt at encouragement.

"Why would… you said…"

"Why would you only watch?" Wooyoung offered.

San nodded vigorously, glad to not have to say it himself.

"Well," Wooyoung shrugged slightly, slipping his hand slightly lower so it could rest at the base of San's throat. He ran his thumb back and forth against San's adam's apple - multi-tasking at monitoring his heart rate, and slowly adding a sexual edge to the moment.

"Well?" San whispered, trembling slightly under Wooyoung's touch.

Wooyoung's thumb came to a stop, opposite his fingers on San's throat. Gently, just enough to make San's eyelids flutter, he tightened his hold on San's neck.

"Do you think you deserve to touch Yeosang?"

=====

I want to note that at this point in the video review, I stopped the recording and turned to Wooyoung.

"San requested that you be submissive."

Wooyoung shrugged, "things change."

I stared at him for a moment, trying to wrap my head around this development.

"I programmed you to be a sub, albeit a bratty one."

Wooyoung tilted his head, flashing me a smile that made my stomach churn.

That smile should not have been possible. I knew the countless rotors and joints that made up the structure of Wooyoung's face. They could not produce what I was seeing.

"And Seonghwa programmed me to be proactive."

I blinked, not sure if I liked the information I was receiving.

"And we both know how good Seonghwa is at getting others to be more…" Wooyoung hummed, as if thinking of the correct word, "authentic."

He leaned in, lowering his voice as he kept that impossible smile on his face.

"Don't we? Pup?"

=====

Suffice to say, Wooyoung was essentially using San's degradation kink as a tool to ease him into the poly situationship they have going on now.

I still don't know exactly what Seonghwa did to his code. Wooyoung stopped letting me work on him. He says he prefers Seonghwa's contributions, though I still don't know where Hwa learned to do it. I have caught a glimpse of the work though.

It was unrecognizable. It looked like some language I've never seen. I don't mean coding language either. I couldn't tell you what alphabet it uses anymore. It looked like Klingon or something.

As for San… well… he's still a loser. You can tell him I said that. Wooyoung still runs that site, which now features Yeosang, in addition to San, more times than not. I'll openly admit that I still tune in from time to time. More out of morbid curiosity than any sort of erotic urges. It's a gooey window into the mental health of one of my more fragile friends.

Look, we all know things we'd rather not about the people we care about. I just get my information from a live feed sometimes. There's no shame in caring.

=====

Ateez Masterlist

[thepaintedlady00]

Burden

Chapter 14 |

Chapter 15: Forget Me Not

TW: some awkwardness, confusing visions, Daniel makes an appearance, mentions of major character death and spoilers for the comics, a bit of Dark!Munin, The Fates, some intense memories and mentions of violence, pain, and allusions to assault, a bit of trickster god energy (I'm not super familiar with Puck and Loki from the comics, so please don't crucify me if they're not great!), threats, some cryptic shit from Destiny, a pretty big revelation, and finally, some soft fluffy goodness to give our story a happy end before the rewrite.

I really struggled with this last chapter! 😅 I think because I already know I'm going to rewrite it the words just didn't wanna cooperate with me and I'm overall not super thrilled with how it came out. I do really hope y'all still enjoy it and are looking forward to getting the rewrite whenever I have the time to get that going. Thank you all so much for your love, support and patience with this series!

Awkward felt like an inadequate word to describe the stiff silence that now consumed Hector's home. You quietly took a sip of your drink, eyes darting back and forth between the two men as they stared one another down across the living room. You’d quietly hoped that the two would use this time to let go of the strenuous circumstances they’d previously met under.

Hector finally leaned back and spoke, “Make any pregnant women cry today?”

Or not…

Dream’s face tensed slightly, but his voice was steady as he replied, “No.”

“You could’ve given us a minute to say a proper goodbye, you know,” Hector insisted with a sneer. “She had to go through so much all alone… we didn’t even get a chance to talk about baby names. I don’t… I don’t even know how they’re doing.”

This made Morpheus soften, and for a moment, you wondered if he was thinking about his own son, that had been long lost to him. “Daniel. Your son's name is Daniel, and he is doing well. I’ve had my raven check in with them on occasion.”

Your friend smiled and looked out toward the trees. “Daniel. What about Lyta?”

“She’s been more…” Morpheus chose his word carefully. “Restless as of late. A just reaction, I suppose, after learning all she has.”

“Couldn’t you help her with that?” Hector asked. “Isn’t that your job or something?”

“I could, but she does not wish for my help.”

“Sounds like her,” his smile was soft and sad but filled with a restfulness you’d not seen in him for a long while. “Lyta was always the stubborn one between us.”

Morpheus glanced at you, an invisible smirk plain to your eyes. “A struggle I understand too well, spirit.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Are you calling me stubborn?”

“I said no such thing,” he insisted with a wicked gleam in his eyes that answered the question for him.

Turning your head away, you smiled at Hector. “Apologies for bringing up such painful memories. It was not my intent, my friend.”

He shook his head and waved your concern away. “It wasn’t so bad.”

Morpheus allowed the man to show him the home he’d built, taking in details he’d missed the first time in his haste, and, you thought, the two seemed less at odds with one another by the time you departed. Your beloved remained as long as he could, spending time with you to tell the children stories while you held Sirius and got lost in the sound of his silken voice. A loud screech and a string of curses echoed from the wood, bringing you and the Dream Lord to your feet, shielding as many ears as you could reach from the vile things being shouted.

The Corinthian stumbled out of the woods with Kat hot on his heels, talons bared and clawing at him with every swoop. Her feathers were ruffled, and the noises she made were ones you’d never heard before. “Kat!”

She heeded your voice, halting her attack on the nightmare to settle on a branch beside you. The Corinthian shook his clothes off, looking at the deep tear in his suit. “Your beast owes me a new suit!”

Kat’s eyes burned. “The only thing I owe you is a slow and painful death, nightmare.”

“What is the meaning of this?” You demanded as Morpheus distracted the children.

“Is this not the nightmare that betrayed you, my lady?”

“It is,” you answered honestly. “But he has been remade now. He will not hurt me again.”

“Once is more than enough,” She bit back. “This was something you knew once.”

Your eyes narrowed, and you tilted your head at her words. “What do you mean by this?”

Kat shook out her feathers. “Nothing, my lady. If you say the nightmare means no harm, then I shall trust you.”

“Thank you, Kat,” you answered, her words still rattling around your mind, but the golden owl took to the skies before you could question her further. 

The Corinthian bared his teeth at the shredded suit jacket. “Daunty, love the new realm and all, but you gotta get a tighter handle on your greeters.”

Rolling your eyes, you shook your head at him. “Relax. I’m sure your maker would happily repair your suit if you asked nicely.”

He scoffed. “I’d rather live with the tears.”

“Stubborn.”

“Always,” he replied with a grin. “So, you gonna give me the tour, or are you too busy for little nightmares now?”

Linking your arm with his, you smiled at Morpheus, who continued telling the children stories beside the fountain. “I always have time for you, dear Corinthian.”

*

It had been a few days since you’d spoken with Hector, but the sad look in his eyes when he’d mentioned not being able to see his son had stuck with you. You approached the young tree with a gentle touch and kind gaze upon the face carved into the trunk. Hector's son was still quite young, and his tree of memory reflected such. It was smaller than his mother's that stood beside it, but the roots were strong and ran far deeper than any mortal. Daniel, you quickly realized, was special. Different. Like you.

The face seemed to stare back at you, white leaves peeking out from beneath the lush green canopy. You approached slower, urging the roots to lift and open the young one's mind to you. His memories would be few, but there was no doubt much you could learn within them. Veins of white stood out in the darkness. Some roots, the ones that borrowed deeper, were pale and sung with power and immortality. The song of The Endless. But, the tune wasn't Dreams, or Deaths, or Desires. It was its own song, still unfinished.

You walked through the light, lush still forming along the walls of his memory, focusing on the memories he found joyful. You intended to share them with Hector, a gift to show your gratitude for his hard work and kindness. That, however, was not where the tree led you.

Stumbling into the blinking light, you found yourself kneeling in deep sand. Sand scratched your palms, sticking to you like sap, just as it had the first time. Except now that sand, once a deep void of black, was white. It sparked like tiny perfect crystals in your palms as you stood and looked out at the miles of glistening sand and bright cerulean waves.

You knew this beach better than any save its creator. You knew the placement of each stone and the feeling of the sand as it molded to your steps. This place felt different… All at once, the beach you knew and not. It was old and new and entirely confusing.

The fragile ground beneath your feet seemed to remember you as you walked toward where the Gates of Horn and Ivory should have been. The sand didn't swallow your feet or try to slow your steps. It felt as though you were walking on nothing at all. Before your eyes, the entrance stood, an entrance that was not the gates you knew at all.

Glossy white marble caught the light and cast an ethereal glow all around you. An aura of both light and color, beautiful and bright. The gates stood open, revealing a sight you'd grown to know well. "The Dreaming."

As you passed through, you admired the fine craftsmanship of the carvings in the marble gates. A story familiar and also not… Something that had not yet been told. Familiar things were more abundant here as you walked through the town and admired the dreamers. Dreams and Nightmares, old and new, greeted you like a friend and wished you good fortune as you made your way to the palace.

The regal and beautiful palace of The Dream Lord was quite similar to the one you’d known. Only some small changes in the stone and the statues caught your eyes, but as the doors opened to the throne room, a wave of unfamiliarity washed over you at the sight. The white marble of Dream’s palace was pristine in every sense of the word, reflecting the array of light and color that swirled around the room, drawing your gaze to the tiny crystals that hung in the air like drops of frozen rain. It was beautiful, marvelous, but not what you knew to be.

The stairway leading to the throne was wrong as well, far more winding and long, a path of almost transparent crystal. The stained glass windows above the throne shifted to reflect you, a perfect vision of white mist and black dogs and golden leaves. It was as if The Dreaming was trying to welcome you… trying to lull you into a feeling of peace or comfort at all that was not as it should be. And there, in the place of the throne, you knew Morpheus to have was something entirely not his. It looked far more organic, like a split geode holding an uncontainable cosmos of stars and cosmic clouds inside it. And sitting on that throne was a being that was not Dream of The Endless. Not your Dream.

The pale being lifted his head, and not a single strand of his cloudy white hair strayed. His black eyes consumed you entirely, two small slivers of starlight shining brighter as they looked upon you. The robes he wore were white, adorned with golden designs, and there, sitting proudly upon his chest, was a glowing emerald dreamstone.

“It is a great honor to meet you at last, Munin of the Emerald Wood.” His voice was silken and light, Dream’s but not his. 

“You are not my Dream… are you?” You asked with tears building in your eyes.

With a soft sigh, he rose from his throne slowly, almost as if he thought doing so any faster would scare you. “No, I suppose I am not.”

You didn’t dare look away from him as you asked, “Then who are you?”

“The name you would likely know me by is Daniel. Daniel Hall.”

Lies. “Daniel Hall is little more than a child. You could not possibly be him.”

“Not as you know him to be,” he said, slowly descending the winding staircase. “But, as you’ve already noticed, none of this is as it was. A future carved in stone, written in Destiny’s book of things, a future only you can stop.”

“Future?” You questioned, looking around at The Dreaming. “You mean to tell me I’ve stumbled into the future?”

“No,” Daniel replied with a light chuckle. “More of a vision.”

You watched him carefully as he stood before you, hands clasped and a soft, childlike smile on his lips. “So this is what is to come then? You mean to steal this realm from Morpheus?”

His brows furrowed. “I’ve stolen nothing. The Dreaming and the title Dream of the Endless was given to me by he who came before.”

“Morpheus would never just give his realm or his title away,” you insisted. “Unless…”

“He did all he could to stop it, but The Kindly Ones were relentless in their attack. His sacrifice saved The Dreaming and those that remained.” Daniel could see the pain in you, and with a sigh, he added. “He did not suffer. Death greeted him and showed him the way. He was at peace in the end.”

You shook your head, tears rolling down your cheeks. “And what of me? I did nothing while he perished?”

“There were… things complicating your involvement.” He shook his head. “It matters not. You are here now.”

“You’ve been expecting me?”

He smiled, chuckling softly. “No, more… hoping you would find a way here so we could speak.”

“Speak of what?”

"If the love you bare him is even a fraction of the love that lingers in me still…" he lifted a hand to your cheek. "Love he bore for you. Then you'll save him. You’ll ensure this future never has to be.”

With narrow eyes, you asked, “You would give up his power… his title, and his kingdom?”

Daniel nodded. “All I ever wished for was a normal life with my mother. Plots larger than me… Larger than him made that impossible. But you, you could change it.”

“How?”

“Seek out Loki and Puck. The end of your Dream Lord began with their plot and… my mother’s misguided actions.”

Loki and Puck - two tricksters that you’d only met in passing. Gods that were notoriously difficult to track down. “And how do you suggest I find them? They’re not known for making such easy.”

“Visit my mother,” he urged. “And myself, I suppose…” he chuckled again. “The two should be close by.”

You paused, listening to the faint sounds of The Forest calling you home. “What happens if I fail?”

Daniel only smiled, reaching out to lift your hand to his lips. “Then I hope this is not the last time we meet, Lady Munin. And that the next is under better circumstances.”

*

Lyta Hall lived in a modest apartment in a bustling city. Though you’d ventured into the mortal world before, it looked vastly different from what little you could remember. She was surrounded by those she loved, Rose Walker and Ged, and many familiar faces - faces you knew from memories alone. And while the apartment wasn’t large or lavish, she appeared to be happy aside from the large bags that hung beneath her eyes, telling you she’d not found any peace in her dreams.

For a while, you simply watched them, searching for some sigh of Loki and Puck’s coming mischief, but the longer you looked in, the more you felt compelled to venture closer. You wanted to speak with her, to reassure her that her husband was safe and loved. And so you found yourself in her apartment, standing in the kitchen and admiring the little notes, photographs, and memories each held. Lost in your own examining, you barely heard the sharp gasp and the sound of wood scraping against the floor as Lyta hurriedly rose from the table at the sight of you.

Suddenly you were reminded that it was not normal for people to appear in mortal homes simply, and you bashfully bowed your head to her. “Apologies. I did not mean to startle you.”

“Who are you?” She demanded, forcing her voice to sound firm and dangerous.

“We have met before,” you answered softly. “In a dream.”

Her face softened slightly. “You… you’re the one that took Hector.”

Nodding, you answered the question she had not asked. “He is safe. He misses you,” your eyes drifted to the small child in his high chair. “Both of you.”

“What do you want?” She demanded, wiping her eyes. 

“I simply wanted to apologize for my coldness that day. I was… I was not myself.” You sighed. “Were it within my power, I would have let him remain with you.”

“But it isn’t,” she answered bitterly. “It’s his power, isn’t it?”

You realized Morpheus was the he that she spoke so sourly of. “It was out of his power as well. The Dream Lord means you no harm, Lyta. This is why you’ve not slept, isn’t it?”

Lyta looked at Daniel and shook her head. “I don’t want him to come for my son… not while I’m under some spell and can’t defend him.”

“Dream of the Endless would not steal your son,” you said gently. “He means neither of you harm.”

“You don’t know that,” she replied bitterly.

“I do,” you assured her. As you watched her move to the child's side, you felt an odd power humming around her. The song of the Endless echoed from the boy, swirling around her, but beneath his song was power. A power that you knew. Lyta and Daniel froze, time halting as mist rolled in from unseen places, and their power engulfed the apartment.

"You are meddling in dangerous things, lost one." Their combined voices sent a chill up your spine, but not one of fear or anger… A feeling of familiarity.

The Mother tutted softly as she moved around the frozen figure of Lyta Hall. "Fate is not something easily changed, dear sun."

The Crone lifted her head, glaring at the babe in Lyta's arms. "And this fate is one you should not even attempt to alter."

"I won't let you do it," your voice was cold as mist rushed beneath your feet. The Forest bled into this illusion they thrust you in, dark, twisted trees casting long shadows over the three. Black engulfed your fingertips, and you could feel the darkness, the daunting power of it bending to your will. "Morpheus is mine. And none shall have him while I draw breath."

The Maiden tilted her head, eyes shining back at you in admiration. "You always were so determined."

"So headstrong and unafraid," The Mother continued, her eyes bearing a deep sorrow that surprised you.

"It is what led you to your doom the first time." Though The Crone's eyes were stiff, guarded, and unwilling to bend beneath your steady gaze, her voice trembled, lips quivering as she uttered a single word. "Mneme."

All at once the darkness vanished. You felt your power stripped away, leaving you trembling and bare before The Fates. Breathlessly you fell to your knees. Sparks of golden light and a searing, unbearable pain engulfed you until all you could do was scream.

Not a word. Flashes filled your vision, swarming like molten gold in water. A name. Fire blazed, and a burst of sickening laughter echoed in your mind. Your name.

Their hands offered you some comfort, albeit temporary. The Mother smoothed your hair back. "Do not fight it."

The Maiden stroked your cheeks. "Let it come."

The Crone looked down at you with tears in her eyes. Her palm pressed to your forehead. "Remember."

*

The first thing you saw once the blinking light faded from your vision was the orange hues of the sun setting over the ocean. You sat upon the edge of the cliffside, wind combing through your golden locks of hair, and a peaceful feeling settled in your chest. You were home.

"Mneme!" The Fates’ voices called out as one. 

Turning your head, you smiled at them. "Not too close to the edge, I know!"

The Maiden offered you a smile back. "The fall would be terrible indeed, even for one such as you."

The Mother waved, gesturing to you to come to them. "Come down from there, sweet child!"

The Crone rolled her ancient eyes and scoffed. "She won't fall! Our Mneme is far too surefooted to do something as foolish as that."

"Accidents still happen, sister self." The Mother reminded.

You squeezed her hand. "I'll be more careful."

"More careful!" The Crone laughed. "She's been careful since the day she was born, I doubt she's capable or more."

The Maiden lovingly braided a strand of your hair. "There's no harm in having fun every now and then."

The sky above had begun to shift to the deep star-filled night, your favorite. "I have to go."

"Back to that tree of yours?" The Crone asked.

"Back to the humans?" The Mother's question was far more bitter.

You kissed all their cheeks. "I'll be home before the sun rises!"

More light flashed, more voices echoed in your mind as your body felt like it would burst apart. You saw it through the slightly golden haze. The Great Tree standing tall amidst a bustling village. Its trunk was a rich reddish brown with golden leaves glistening in the low light of the fires the humans had lit to illuminate their festivities.

In the blink of an eye, you were in the tall branches, looking down at the bodies that moved below, watching the humans with wonder. You and the tree had been linked from the moment of your birth. A tree with roots that spanned across realms and lifetimes and a little spirit born of fate and memory. 

A rather simple pair when compared to the billions of other supernatural and immortal beings and creatures that existed. But, you were fine with simple. You enjoyed your time spent on Mount Helicon and watching the humans, quietly gifting them with long memories and thus making their marvelous stories last forever.

It had been centuries since you'd heard the lovely tune for the first time. The first song ever made. A simple and beautiful thing that planted a seed deep inside you. A longing for something real… Tangible… Something wholly yours. You had no idea what it would be, this thing, but some nights you could hear The Fates whispering. They must've known. There was little they did not see. So, you waited, hoping that it was something marvelous.

The memories raced by, quicker and more painful than before. You could feel the raw ache in your throat, a result of your screaming, but you could only hear the voices. It was all still fragmented, flashes of a happy life with The Fates that all shifted… The sour smell of decay stung your nose. These flashes were darker, the fragments blurry and hazed. 

You felt fire cracking under your skin, nails clawing at the wrong flesh that caged you. A laugh… A wide and villainous grin letting down at you. Unfamiliar hands touching you… Defiling you… The human's bright beauty slowly diminishing before your very eyes. You could taste the salt of your tears and feel the ache in your knees as you bent to the floor and begged. "Harken to me!" Your voice sounded so broken… Desperate. "Please, I beg of you! Deliver me from this place!"

The gentle hands that touched your head bore a somber tinge that answered the question you did not even ask. "Enough, dear one."

"You should rest," The Maiden said.

"You will need it for what is to come," The Crone finished.

"Help me," you begged them, lifting your drowning eyes. "There must be something you can do… Someone to intercede on my behalf."

The Crone's eyes turned cold as she sighed. "Foolish child. You are awfully bound. There are none that can deliver you from this place."

The Mother's eyes were filled with tears. "Not now, at least…"

The Maiden braided a strand of your dull hair. "Not when so much of you has been spent."

"I am so sorry, dear one…" The Mother pressed a kiss to your head. "Your prayers were wasted."

"No!" You cried out, rising to reach for them, but they were already gone. The chain binding you to this place scratched against the stone floor. "Do not leave me…"

The pieces fragmented further. Shattering like glass when you tried to hold onto them. All you could truly recall was a knife, blood, screaming, and fire. Darkness that felt warm and safer than what you'd known for so long and then breathlessness. You could see a rippling surface, bubbles floating away from you as the air abandoned you. 

As you sank deeper into an unknown abyss, you could see the golden strands of your hair fade to white, and a voice echoed in your mind as all else began to fade away. "You will never be rid of me!"

*

"Mneme," The Maiden's voice called out to you.

"Stop," you begged, voice raw and hardly understandable. This wasn't true… This was a trick. All of it. Their hands, cradling your head, felt too heavy. "Don't call me that."

“Mneme…” The Mother cooed softly as you shook their hands off you.

“Do not call me that! I… I cannot deal with this now. I… There’s…” You wanted nothing more than to sob, to let the information you’d just regained swallow you whole. 

Morpheus needed you. The events Daniel spoke of could still be years away, but you’d not risk it. Especially not now. Forcing your body upright, you looked into the eyes of The Fates. “I am going to change what is written. Morpheus will not perish, least of all at the hands of you.”

The Maiden’s tears were like diamonds upon her cheeks. “We take no pleasure in this.”

Your sound of disbelief caused The Mother to sigh, “Not much pleasure in it.”

“You cannot change this,” The Crone said, cold as ice once again. “Try as you might, what is will be and what will be is.”

“The only one you shall harm is yourself,” The Maiden replied.

"You will spend your power," The Mother warmed. "Spread yourself thin until all you are withers."

"Lost again to Lethe," The Crone finished.

“If anything happens to him… anything at all, it is you that I shall harm. Consequences be damned.”

You didn’t give them the chance to speak again, vanishing from the apartment and from their presence with a mere thought. The world felt both heavier and lighter, and with it, you felt both more powerful and less. Forcing the memories… the past from your mind, you put your plan into motion. It was just as you’d told The Fates. None would have Morpheus.

The meadow was quiet. From what you’d seen of the human world, there were few places like this that remained. Calm and untouched, reeking of old fairy magic and buzzing with godly power. Two tricksters lurking in the shadows. The combination of their power was dizzying and stunk of mischief. A warning to any that drew too near to turn back and hope you’d not caught their eye. You, however, would not be so easily deterred.

“What have we here?” An old and giggly voice purred from the shadows.

“A little witch?” Another chimed in, smug and prideful and filled with echoing laughter.

You showed no emotion as you addressed them. “I am Munin, Queen of realms of memory.”

A figure appeared a greenish beast with scales and fur and long pointed ears. Sharp teeth gleamed back at you as the deep red eyes of the spirit Puck glowed. “Queeny, Queeny, Queeny… why are you so far from your castle?”

Bright hair and an angular face examined you closely from a safe distance away as Loki grinned back. “Come to play with the old tricksters, have you?”

“More like come to talk sense into you,” you replied calmly, urging the wood around you to slowly shift.

The two laughed loudly, clutching their guts as they looked at each other. “Sense? Oh, we’ve not had sense in ages!”

“So I’ve been told. But, kidnapping a dream-touched child is a new sort of stupidity I thought even you two would be above.”

“Careful now,” Puck growled. “I’d surely hate to have to get blood all over that pretty white dress, Queeny.”

“It would be quite the shame,” you agreed. “Though the dress could be a trophy of sorts stained with your blood.”

Puck giggled, deranged and gleeful. “I like you!”

“Focus,” Loki insisted as he languidly stalked forward to circle you. “What’s this about a kidnapping?”

You followed him for a moment but chose to keep your eyes on Puck; he was the one you’d have to be most mindful of. “Your little plan to kidnap the boy… Daniel Hall.”

“How would you know about that?” Puck questioned.

“I have my ways.” That was the only answer you offered them. “The how is hardly the point. I’m far more interested in skipping it all together so we can focus on the bit where you both use your brains and forget about this half-baked scheme.”

Mist slowly began to seep between the trees, a low groan echoing in the air that signaled your plan had worked. Loki shook his head. “We aren’t exactly known for listening to threats from little girls.”

You smiled. “I’ve not even threatened you yet, Odinson.”

“Do not call me that!” He hissed, pointing a long elegant finger at you.

“I’ll call you whatever name you see fit after you’ve agreed to leave Daniel and his mother alone.”

Puck tutted, clawed nails digging into the branch he leaned on. “Greedy, greedy. You’re getting boring, Queeny! Perhaps we should just be done with you… After all, you look so tasty!”

Sirius dove out of the mist and snapped at the spirit. “Mind your tongue, beast. Though I shall gladly rid you of it should you insist.”

Loki pulled two daggers from their sheathes as The Corinthian appeared somewhere off to the side of you, calm and collected as he casually leaned against a tree. “Naughty puppy!”

Rolling your eyes, you lifted a finger, calling forth the tree roots to bind them. “Enough of this.” The trees wound around their limbs, squeezing hard enough that were they not immortal beings, their limbs would have snapped. Loki sneered while Puck laughed. “It’d be in your best interests to leave the child alone.”

“Best interests,” Puck laughed harder. “I care little for interests.”

“You may not care,” you began, eyes turning to the god. “But he does.”

Loki shook his head, chuckling at the notion that he cared about anything at all. “You think you know me, little wood witch?”

You shook your head and walked along the tree roots. “I do not care to know you, trickster. But, I see more than just your eyes…” Memories swirled inside them, good and bad, joyful and not. “We may not have met more than in passing, but make no mistake, Loki, I know you.”

Puck was the wildcard, the mischievous being that none could reason with or bribe unless he so sought, but Loki was a god. He was shrouded in golden pride and a deep-rooted desire to make Odin love him. Loki was the one you needed to convince. Puck would follow, or he would die, a choice you’d not have to spell out for him, especially with Sirius’ watchful eye and menacing teeth gnashing in the sprite's face.

“Why do you care so much for this runt?” Loki pondered with a wide grin. “Have a soft spot for dream-touched mortals?”

“Why does not concern you.” You sat down on a high-up branch and stared the god down. “No more questions, Loki. Will you leave Lyta and her son alone, or will you die here in my little woods?”

He attempted to shrug against the branches that held him. “It’s not me you need to worry about.”

Puck rolled his eyes. “She doesn’t need to fear me! This game has gotten boooorrrriiinnggg! One little mortal, dream-touched or not, isn’t worth this kind of fuss.”

Loki glared at the sprite, clearly displeased by his so-called partner in crime's words. “Fine then. We’ll leave the kid alone. Happy now?”

“Swear it.”

“I swear it,” he sneered back. “Now let me go.”

You waved your hand, and the roots released. Puck was gone in a blink, no promises made or extra words exchanged. Here then gone, just like you’d expected from the trickster. Loki remained, anger and some ugly, wounded pride shining in his eyes as he glared at you. Sirius growled. “Leave this place, trickster. And pray you never return.”

Suddenly all emotion drained from the god's face, and he laughed. “You know, I don’t much like being humiliated, especially not by insignificant little girls. Do you think you're suddenly untouchable just because you have some new realm and a bit of power? Well, you aren’t.”

Lunging for you, Loki found himself face to face with The Corinthian, who smiled as he brandished his blade. “I believe my lady released you. That means you leave.”

“I’m not scared of you, nightmare!” The god shouted.

“You should be. Hold him down for me, pup.” Sirius surprisingly heeded the nightmares command and pulled the god down while The Corinthian worked with his blade. The screams were drowned out by the trees cheering and laughing at the now mutilated god. You stood high above it all as The Corinthian finished his work and turned, presenting you with the eyes he’d plucked from Loki’s skull. Bowing his head, he chuckled. “Any other body parts I should take, my lady?”

You accepted the eyes and shook your head. “No. Kat has already sent word to Odin. Someone will be here to collect him shortly.”

The Corinthian glanced at you. “You alright, Daunty?”

Your mind was plagued with the past that you’d still not fully regained, a thing you now had broken and confusing fragments of. “Yes. There’s just something I need to do now.”

“Need a nightmare?”

Smiling at him, you shook your head and placed a loving hand on his cheek. “Not this time, dear Corinthian.”

*

Upon Mount Helicon, a secluded cabin stood overlooking the sea. The cabin was not what you’d pictured when you thought of The Fates. You’d imagined they’d live in some large palace or a winding maze, like Destiny, but there the three stood, looking out at the sea as you quietly approached. “Such a lovely sunset.”

The Mother smiled at you. “It used to be your favorite part of the day.”

The Maiden laughed softly. “You’d sit here until the yellow faded from the sky entirely.”

“One sun,” The Crone said. “Watching another.”

"Whatever the reason for this… Fondness, you bear me…" you stopped yourself, pain that you could not yet confront boiling within you like the fires in your vision. Shaking your head, you met their gaze again. "I urge you to cease these schemes against the Dream Lord."

The Maiden nodded, "Painful as this may be, you cannot run from the truth forever."

The Mother took a step closer with a sad smile. "Oh, dear one… Is this truly your wish?"

"It is."

The Crone stood before you, cold eyes slightly less so as she wiped your tears. "Very well. If it is your wish, we shall honor it. So long as Dream of The Endless does not bring harm upon you, then we shall not harm him or his Dreaming."

“Thank you… my mothers.”

The Three smiled sadly and watched you go. The Forest greeted you as it always had, offering you soft handing leaves to dry your eyes and a melodic rumbling to ease the ache in your heart. You did not know when you would be able to accept what you now knew fully, nor did you know if you’d ever be strong enough to remember the full brunt of the pain your past life had lived through, but you did know that The Fates had spoken at least one truth. You would not be able to run from it.

A dark figure emerged from the trees, breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of you. “There you are.”

“Morpheus,” you breathed, the pain easing as air filled your lungs.

His eyes narrowed as he took a step toward you. “Where have you been?” His arms wound around you, pulling you into the embrace you’d fought so hard to preserve. You buried your face into his chest and breathed in his scent. “I’ve been worried.”

With a soft noise, you smiled. “Forgive me, I did not mean to worry you. There were some things I needed to take care of.”

“Is all well?” His breath hitched at the mere thought of something being wrong. 

You smoothed your hands down his chest and smiled. “All is well. I… I learned many things these past few days and have many questions that need answering.”

Morpheus nodded, soft hands caressing you. “I trust you will tell me your meaning when you are ready to?”

“Of course,” you answered. “It would be rather cruel of me to keep you in such suspense.”

“Cruel is not a word I’d use to describe you, my love.”

You wanted nothing more than to tell him of all you’d learned and everything that had happened in your time apart, but instead, you simply smiled. “Would you walk with me?”

He seemed to understand the gentle gleam of tears in your eyes and quietly offered you his arm and a kiss upon your head. “Always, my love.”

The two of you walked through the misty forest until you found the cave of crystals and the lake that you’d once danced upon. Without needing to speak any words, he stepped out onto the water and swept you away into a starlit dance. With your head laid against his chest, listening… feeling the steady beating of his heart, you finally spoke, “Do you think we will remain together in whatever existence comes after this?”

“I should think so,” he answered with a soft laugh. “We’ve found one another against impossible odds thus far.”

"Well, if it should come to an end, this immortal coil we find ourselves in..." You pulled away from his chest and gently held his face in your hands. "I should like it to end by your side, that we might turn to stardust together or be bound in the roots of the earth as one. I shall not pass to whatever existence awaits us in The Sunless Lands without you, my dearest Morpheus."

With the software of smiles, he pulled a small thing from his cloak and held it between you. A ring. The stone in the center was an ethereal array of thinking stars with a branch-like band of roots twining around it. He lifted your hand to slide the ring on your finger, kissing it and whispering a soft oath, "I vow that no matter what comes, nothing shall ever part us again. I am yours, Lady of The Forest, Distress, Discourage, Daunt… Munin. In every existence, every realm and lifetime, I am yours."

"Just as I am yours, Prince of Stories. Always."

Beneath the starry skies and amidst the groaning echoes of your realm, you and the Dream Lord shared a kiss, soft and bright and beautiful. For that one moment, the past didn’t matter. Not Daunt or Mneme… you were Munin, and you were here. You were loved. And as you stared into the eyes of your lover, you knew you always would be.

[a-boros-named-seamus]

As the Citadel fell around him, Shepard thought about the Normandy. About every member of his crew. About Kaidan.

🎵 “It started out as a feeling,”

He remembered meeting the man, just before Eden Prime. Fighting aside him and Ash, with him on that last desperate sprint to the Conduit.

🎵 “Just because everything's changing, doesn't mean it's never been this way before.”

And then there was Alchera. Promising Kaidan he would be fine just as soon as he got joker to a pod. Struggling to breathe as his suit vented into the void.

🎵 “Now we're back to the beginning,”

And then there was Horizon. That terrible day. Kaidan looking at him like a traitor, a puppet dancing to the Illusive Man's tune, had broken something in his heart that he hadn't known was there. He thought of Kaidan when he destroyed the Collector Base

🎵 “But just because they can't feel it too, doesn't mean that you have to forget.”

Mars had been... hard. He had desperately wanted Kaidan to trust him again, had tried so hard to convince him, but there was little time for talking, and he wasn't comfortable baring his heart in front of Liara and her obvious, unwelcomed, crush on him.

Nevertheless the pain in his heart drove him to try. And it had been working, step by step.

🎵 “Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light.”

And then Eva Core had tried to collapse Kaidan's skull. He'd barely been able to tear him away from Kaidan's bedside, let alone sleep. And when he had slept, his dreams had been full of the words of the dead. The Vista of the Citadel's wards arcing out if the Widow Nebula had been as beautiful as ever, but it had been hard to think about anything but the paramedics EDI had called to meet them in the docking bay. Watching them take Kaidan away had filled him with a profound sense of dread.

🎵 “It's just a feeling and no one knows yet,”

"Maybe some things get better with age"

"Or maybe you have"

Kaidan chuckled. "Are you flirting with me, Commander? Wait, wait! Don't tell me. Let me live in the illusion"

Shepard's heart had skipped a beat there. He'd been going out on a limb and kaidan had been happy. Had encouraged him.

There was still an ache deep within his heart, but it was closing.

🎵 “You'll come back when it's over,”

Kaidan lowering his gun there on that Citadel had healed that secret hurt that he'd been nursing since Horizon. Their conversations on Mars and in Huerta had helped, but this one absolute moment of trust closed it forever, leaving naught but a memory.

🎵 “And then that word grew louder and louder 'til it was a battle cry,”

That date, that 'sanity check' at Apollo's Cafe. It had been... oh god it had been perfect. They'd both danced around the subject, just a bit, but in the end they'd come together and stuck that way.

And later, at the car lot, when he'd been running from CAT-6 and relying on his barriers and wits. He'd walked through a door to find Kaidan standing there in his armor and toying with mercs, and his relief, adrenaline, fear, and love had all mixed together to make that tableau the single hottest thing he had ever seen.

🎵 “All you can do is try to know who your friends are as you head off to the war,”

His thoughts went to that last party on the Citadel. All of his living crewmates had been there sharing moments both raucous and quiet. It had done his soul good. The cracks that had started with abandoning Ashley had finally begun to close. His favorite part had been the morning after. He'd woken up next to Kaidan and gone on to find his crew enjoying the morning quiet.

🎵 “Let your memories grow stronger and stronger ‘til they're before your eyes,”

The last memory was that of Kaidan coming up to his quarters just before the assault on Cerberus. Good drinks, a good talk, and even better sex. It had been the perfect night, even as death's specter loomed.

And then, he returned to present.

🎵 “Which then grew into a hope, which then turned into a quiet thought, which then turned into a quiet word,”

Just breathe. He repeated it to himself over and over, his cybernetics straining to keep him alive beneath the rubble. He could see teams searching the wreckage, but couldnt call out, because he had to focus on breathing.

He'd managed to tap into every eezo nodule in his body, pushing his biotincs to their limit on order to break his fall and keep himself from being utterly crushed, and it had still been just barely enough. But there was hope for him yet

As he started to slip away, he heard rescuers drawing close.

"Call the Normandy. We found him alive"

🎵 “No need to say goodbye,”

He awoke to several familiar sensations. The rubbing of soft sheets. The scent of flowers. Warm sunlight on his skin. A monitor beeping in time with his heart.

"Shepard?"

Kaidan was there next to him, holding some sort of report and looking dreadful. He also looked beautiful. Like the dawn after a long, cold night.

They spent a few quiet moments of relief together until EDI, who had of course hacked the hospital to keep an eye on his heart monitor, ushered everyone in. Or, well. All of them that could fit in a private hospital room.

The rains had passed, a beautiful new day had dawned, and they were all here to see it.

[the-introverted-writer-for-life]

How to come up with a plot

You've got a character. Or a setting. Or one or two perfect scenes with oh-so perfect vibes that you can imagine clear as daylight in your head... But no storyline.

Hopefully this post solves that.

As a writer myself, I've struggled with this sort of thing a lot with the book I'm planning at the moment, so I'm writing from experience.

Very often, the posts I see talk about your character's motivation and goals - what they want to achieve in life, why they want it, but sometimes the characters we make don't have original goals, and therefore no motivation.

Here are a few thought processes to find a plot if your character has no original goals:

Think about how your story would start. What's normal life like for your character? Do they live in a snowy forest treehouse, and hunt food everyday, or do they live in a modern day city with shops and schools and phones?

Then think about what could change, and how that affects the character. Does a harsh winter cut off their food supply, meaning they have to go further away into the forest and then something happens? Or does a natural disaster hit some family or friends away in another town, and they have to go and check they're alright?

Think about these changes, and create some sort of problem that the character finds they could fix. Common things include family member falls ill and the character goes looking for a cure, character and Co have to flee their home because of said problem, some sort of evil has come to their home and they have to fight it, etc.

OR, you could think about what the character might do to muck things up. Maybe they accidentally (or on purpose) hurt a loved one, or they do something else that upsets a higher force, or a bad trait they have takes over for a few minutes, but at the end of it the damage is done - something the character does that they need to fix, then work out how they could fix it.

Your story will not entertain if the quest to fix the problem is easy. Think about some sort of obstacle that could hinder them - whether this be physical, emotional, or even magical (if your story includes magic), make sure you don't let them fix it without proving themselves.

MAKE SURE YOU WRITE THIS DOWN. you don't want to be reading this at 3am in the morning and then have a MASSIVE BRAIN SPARK and then forget it three hours later when you get up, and lose that information forever. Trust me. I know.

If you can't think of a problem, or any way that your character could have a problem, maybe go back to the drawing board and tweak your ideas slightly. Maybe include a slightly worse trait in your character, or think about what could happen to other characters - the possibilities are endless.

Good luck and happy writing!!

[distilled-prose]

You're forgetting the misconception about Democrats. Not all Democrats are "Leftists". Not all Democrats are against guns. That said; there is a slight difference in a semi-automatic rifle and an AR-15. Yes, I know the AR doesn't stand for "Assault Rifle". The difference is in the looks of a rifle and the use of the rifle. As many has said, I can use my AR-15 to hunt. Yes, you can but, why would you want to use that to hunt deer? I've got a 308 semi to hunt deer but I use my AR-15 to hunt coyotes and pigs. The purpose is to annihilate a species that is invading a territory and causing harm to the environment. Oh! There ya go! A mentally deranged person would do that at a school or a mall with an AR-15 because.....they're fucking deranged and they don't deserve to own that weapon because they have a history of mental problems and they had a friend buy that gun for them or they lied about they're history or whatever. Special permit to own that gun and extended background checks paid for by the the person buying the gun and, red flag laws upheld by Law Enforcement. Period.

Dear Anonymous, Like the question I recently just answered, a couple of things: Thank you for being polite. I wish I knew what prompted the comment/question. That said, you know the second amendment wasn't enacted to protect hunters rights, correct? And just for the record, I am not a hunter. I found early in my life I did not like killing things. But I enjoy target shooting. And I enjoy a variety of weapons in that endeavor. I also know from personal experience that not all democrats are anti-gun. I had a meeting with my attorney several years ago about my wife's and my will. He was a state representative (Democrat) who was wanting to run for a recently vacated senate seat. The discussion turned to that nomination process. He said his position on guns would be a big stumbling block for him in getting the Democratic party's support. (We lived in a rural community.) He did ultimately get the support and won the senate seat. But by his own acknowledgement, the Democratic party did not like it.

My son was a sheriff's deputy for 10 years, and he would quote statistics to me all the time. The majority of mass shootings are committed with hand guns, not long guns, and certainly not by AR style long guns. You are more likely to get killed by a driver misusing a cell phone while driving than to die in a mass shooting. In fact, (I think I am remembering this correctly) a person is more likely to die by a teenager misusing a cellphone while driving than to die in a mass shooting. He also pointed out that Great Britain has a similar number of violent deaths per capita as we do (excluding deaths in this country due to self defense). But in England it's with knives. And now you need a permit to buy almost any kind of knife in England. And look up the statistics of people having acid thrown on them in England. It's crazy. Lastly, I am the second oldest person I know of on Tumblr. As a grade schooler I would hear my parents, their friends, their neighbors, talk about the horrors surrounding and leading up to WWII. Not just the German persecution of Jews, but the Stalinist purges, the atrocities committed by various governments against their own people. Our neighborhood back then had a number of families supporting displaced persons. One neighbor in particular used to tell my grandmother whenever he saw the Texaco big red star it absolutely infuriated him. He just wanted to climb up the pole and tear it down. He lost his whole family in Russia. They were defenseless in one of the purges. Your conclusion regarding the mental heath crisis in this country I believe is correct. Not only the crazy mass shootings, but the homelessness problem, the out of control drug use, etc. all point to a lack of support for people who are struggling. I would offer, however, that your proposed solution will not correct the problem, merely shift it (as in England). Solving the problem at its core is essential. Thank you for the comment.

[bengiyo]

Theory of Love Rewatch Ep 9 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Khai struggled to reconnect with Third, because it's really difficult to do the emotional work required to be in effective long term relationships with anyone when the person you need to reconcile with is the person you relied on to do that work for you. Khai may be serious about Third at this point, but he's never treated his relationships as more than a physical release prior to this, and went through the motions for getting the booty. No one is on his side, and Third is trying to move on. Meanwhile, Two is trying to move forward with Lynn, and Bone just learned that Paan has someone who's serious about her. Everyone thinks Un is into Third. We left at Khai crashing his motorcycle and getting hurt after being yelled at by Third for forcing a kiss on him AGAIN.

I really think Un and Third just went to a screening to get inspiration for their script.

Oh, he's delirious from blood loss. I don't remember this portion of the show well, so I really hope Khai doesn't take Third giving him attention again because he's hurt as a reasonable approach to getting him to interact in the future.

Khai was talking all that shit about Un, but look whose big ass is driving them to the hospital.

Ep.09 Love Triangle. I think this is the first Thai film they've used as the inspiration for the episode.

I do like when a character has to confront their psyche in a nether space. The Walkabout episode of Babylon 5 is my favorite example of this.

Okay, I am really harsh on Khai, so let me say some nice things about the production. Having Bone and Two not be scared when Khai woke up is very reassuring for the audience, even if the inventory of injuries Khai sustained is extensive. Also, telling us he's been asleep for a day as Third walks up still in his bloody clothes lets us know immediately how worried Third was.

Obsessed with Khai's parents. The dad trying to keep upbeat, the mom chiding, the dad reminding Khai that this actually is quite serious, and them asking Third to look after Khai. I get it, show. They're best friends and everyone knows. I'm still salty.

Oh, thanks for explaining my earlier bullet, Bone.

Good job, bros. Khai is an idiot for kissing Third AGAIN. We ain't forget!!

See, this is what I'm saying. It's convenient he got injured? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Face yourself and your friend!

Bone, why are we suggesting checking again? Y'all pissed off me and Third the last time y'all did this shit.

These mofos really going through his messages. I know y'all are boys and all, but respect your homie's fucking privacy.

They don't even know how to set up a side chat. This is embarrassing.

I'm glad the privacy invasion bit ended quickly on Third telling them all to fuck off and let him handle his business.

Hold on, Lynn, we need to do some quick PPL.

Love that the musical cues in GMMTV shows were loud in 2019 and they're loud now.

It really is so hard for me not to simp over Gun constantly in every one of these reactions.

Oh, Khai, you're getting there. Is it hard when the person you're trying to get over suddenly treats you kindly?

I will accept the show using Khai's lingering injuries as a way to illustrate that he can't really heal or take care of himself while Third isn't part of his life.

"Let me help you with your shower." Now, Third, we have all seen this scene before. You gotta give your bro a hand?

Good thing Third wears capris.

I don't want to give Bone too much credit for his awareness of his feelings for Paan because they're hets. Two may just now be figuring out that he was jealous about Un sharing that restaurant with someone else, but it feels like this may be new for him and he's been trying to pursue Lynn.

All that paper is going to make a mess of the pool.

Listen, unnamed boy in the Never Have I Ever game, do you not realize there are queers at this table and you're just lobbing grenades into the chat??

Keyword association went to shit, too!

Why are they leaving us hanging on Lynn's answer to Two?

Curious why Praew wanted to come clean to Third.

If I was Un, I know I would have to whip Khai's ass later over this. This gang stay fucking with him and all he does is help them. Now he's being punched out because Khai is jealous and misunderstanding? Hell to the no. Don't start shit with me because I will finish it.

Oh lord we got big drama next episode with early dating, lies, and bad timing.

Khai is such an asshole, so I think it's correct for his character to confess his feelings in the heat of an argument. I think this is a pretty solid episode for the most part, but I'm not sure all of the party worked for me. I think Khai's injuries were used well to mirror his internal feelings. I'm a bit bored of the stuff going on with Bone and Two though.

As always, this rewatch is sponsored by @lurkingshan, with support from @waitmyturtles and @neuroticbookworm. Tagging @twig-tea by request.