#seamus writes

[a-boros-named-seamus]

As the Citadel fell around him, Shepard thought about the Normandy. About every member of his crew. About Kaidan.

🎵 “It started out as a feeling,”

He remembered meeting the man, just before Eden Prime. Fighting aside him and Ash, with him on that last desperate sprint to the Conduit.

🎵 “Just because everything's changing, doesn't mean it's never been this way before.”

And then there was Alchera. Promising Kaidan he would be fine just as soon as he got joker to a pod. Struggling to breathe as his suit vented into the void.

🎵 “Now we're back to the beginning,”

And then there was Horizon. That terrible day. Kaidan looking at him like a traitor, a puppet dancing to the Illusive Man's tune, had broken something in his heart that he hadn't known was there. He thought of Kaidan when he destroyed the Collector Base

🎵 “But just because they can't feel it too, doesn't mean that you have to forget.”

Mars had been... hard. He had desperately wanted Kaidan to trust him again, had tried so hard to convince him, but there was little time for talking, and he wasn't comfortable baring his heart in front of Liara and her obvious, unwelcomed, crush on him.

Nevertheless the pain in his heart drove him to try. And it had been working, step by step.

🎵 “Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light.”

And then Eva Core had tried to collapse Kaidan's skull. He'd barely been able to tear him away from Kaidan's bedside, let alone sleep. And when he had slept, his dreams had been full of the words of the dead. The Vista of the Citadel's wards arcing out if the Widow Nebula had been as beautiful as ever, but it had been hard to think about anything but the paramedics EDI had called to meet them in the docking bay. Watching them take Kaidan away had filled him with a profound sense of dread.

🎵 “It's just a feeling and no one knows yet,”

"Maybe some things get better with age"

"Or maybe you have"

Kaidan chuckled. "Are you flirting with me, Commander? Wait, wait! Don't tell me. Let me live in the illusion"

Shepard's heart had skipped a beat there. He'd been going out on a limb and kaidan had been happy. Had encouraged him.

There was still an ache deep within his heart, but it was closing.

🎵 “You'll come back when it's over,”

Kaidan lowering his gun there on that Citadel had healed that secret hurt that he'd been nursing since Horizon. Their conversations on Mars and in Huerta had helped, but this one absolute moment of trust closed it forever, leaving naught but a memory.

🎵 “And then that word grew louder and louder 'til it was a battle cry,”

That date, that 'sanity check' at Apollo's Cafe. It had been... oh god it had been perfect. They'd both danced around the subject, just a bit, but in the end they'd come together and stuck that way.

And later, at the car lot, when he'd been running from CAT-6 and relying on his barriers and wits. He'd walked through a door to find Kaidan standing there in his armor and toying with mercs, and his relief, adrenaline, fear, and love had all mixed together to make that tableau the single hottest thing he had ever seen.

🎵 “All you can do is try to know who your friends are as you head off to the war,”

His thoughts went to that last party on the Citadel. All of his living crewmates had been there sharing moments both raucous and quiet. It had done his soul good. The cracks that had started with abandoning Ashley had finally begun to close. His favorite part had been the morning after. He'd woken up next to Kaidan and gone on to find his crew enjoying the morning quiet.

🎵 “Let your memories grow stronger and stronger ‘til they're before your eyes,”

The last memory was that of Kaidan coming up to his quarters just before the assault on Cerberus. Good drinks, a good talk, and even better sex. It had been the perfect night, even as death's specter loomed.

And then, he returned to present.

🎵 “Which then grew into a hope, which then turned into a quiet thought, which then turned into a quiet word,”

Just breathe. He repeated it to himself over and over, his cybernetics straining to keep him alive beneath the rubble. He could see teams searching the wreckage, but couldnt call out, because he had to focus on breathing.

He'd managed to tap into every eezo nodule in his body, pushing his biotincs to their limit on order to break his fall and keep himself from being utterly crushed, and it had still been just barely enough. But there was hope for him yet

As he started to slip away, he heard rescuers drawing close.

"Call the Normandy. We found him alive"

🎵 “No need to say goodbye,”

He awoke to several familiar sensations. The rubbing of soft sheets. The scent of flowers. Warm sunlight on his skin. A monitor beeping in time with his heart.

"Shepard?"

Kaidan was there next to him, holding some sort of report and looking dreadful. He also looked beautiful. Like the dawn after a long, cold night.

They spent a few quiet moments of relief together until EDI, who had of course hacked the hospital to keep an eye on his heart monitor, ushered everyone in. Or, well. All of them that could fit in a private hospital room.

The rains had passed, a beautiful new day had dawned, and they were all here to see it.

[mournfulroses]

Seamus Heaney, from a poem titled "Roots," featured in Contemporary Irish Poetry

[cobrakaisb]

🍺with adam fantilli?

based on the song no hands by waka flocka flame

"what song is a must play for you?" rutger asked, looking at you over the rim of his red solo cup. you were currently in a heated game of cup pong at a party at the hockey house. the teams were you and seamus versus rutger and luca, and to be quite honest, seamus was not carrying his weight. regardless, you moved to take the shot while also answering rut's question, "no hands."

"girl what?" seamus asked, finally paying attention. "girl what?" you repeated, "it's such a banger. the second i hear the opening, i want to get up and dance." "on your boyfriend," luca teases, and the other guys laugh. "yeah, on my boyfriend. sorry that you don't have one," you snap back, sinking the ball into the cup.

"sorry that luca doesn't have what?" adam, your boyfriend, asks as his arm wraps around your waist and head rests on your shoulder. your hand reaches behind you, patting his cheek gently, as you answer, "a boyfriend." adam laughs at your response, kissing your cheek affectionately. "of course he doesn't have one, he's too busy third-wheeling us," adam teases. "oh ha ha. at least my partner isn't obsessed with no hands," luca replies, taking a sip of beer. "no hands? what's he talking about?" adam asks, looking at you, but instead of explaining your given a sign from god himself.

listen to this track. girl the way you moving, got me in a trance, dj turn it up, ladies this yo jam.

"oh my god. adam, let's go dance. please? y'know it's my favorite," you beg, already leading him away from the cup pong table. "i know babe," he answers, following you as seamus pats him on the back.

[nicohischierz]

the perfect wingman: seamus casey

tagging: @ivy-34, @hzstry8, @francesfarhardi, @cixrosie, @heartz4hisch, @trevs-swiftie

it was a running joke in the team that seamus was the perfect wingman.

he would try chat up a girl but lose out so bad that when one of his friends came to ‘save him’ they’d end up with the girl they wanted.

and today was no different.

except this time, seamus was brought along in the hopes of accompanying the girls friend. the florida native followed luca, adam and gavin as they approached a group of four girls.

the three other boys had immediately been approached by a girl who they seemed to have conversed with before.

seamus however, thought he was striking out again as the other girl had her back turned to him with her phone out.

“i am so sorry about that, i had to help a friend out,” the girl explained as she turned to face seamus.

seamus was at a loss for words. there’s no way you were standing in front of him.

“seamus casey?” you asked.

the boy nodded as you brought him in for a hug.

“h-hi y/n, you look great,” he complimented.

seamus was nervous. well more nervous than usual.

“i was wondering how long it’d take before i see you again. i thought i’d have to go down to yost,” you joked.

“i mean you could text me in instagram cause you know we follow each other,” he muttered.

you smiled at him and handed him your drink which he gladly accepted. you were shocked that seamus was still the nervous boy you remembered, you thought being a hockey player he’d be more confident.

“so what are you doing here?” he asked, trying to change the subject.

“well, my friends have been chatting up some of your teammates and i guess they mentioned being here,” you replied.

it took seamus a while to figure out that you played the exact role he did with his teammates. but he couldn’t understand why.

you were the most beautiful person he had ever laid eyes on. he loved the way you tied your hair to get it out of your face and the way you payed full attention to whoever was speaking.

“how come you’re stuck with me shea? i thought by now you’d have a lovely girlfriend who you’re mad over,” you asked.

seamus shrugged.

“i guess people don’t like guys who can’t string two sentences in front of them,” he tried to joke.

but all it did was make you sad.

“hey, i know this ice cream joint like two blocks over, so you wanna go?” you asked.

seamus nodded immediately and the two of you headed towards your friends to say goodbye.

“y/n?!” gavin exclaimed, bringing you in for a hug.

you returned the gesture and quickly explained that you and seamus were going out to have ice cream. the other six nodded and went back to their conversations.

the one night of ice cream, turned into weekly ice cream runs.

which then turned into movie night and ice cream.

and then movie night, ice cream and monday breakfast.

it was during one of your movie nights that seamus finally had enough courage to ask you out. you wasted no time bringing the boy in for a kiss, leaving your movie unattended.

the two of you managed to keep your relationship a secret for months but finally decided it was time to tell everyone.

“are you shea?”

“it’s now or never,”

and with that you pressed post and switched your phone off, cuddling into your boyfriends arms.

yourusername

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not even two seconds later, gavin barged into seamus room with luca and rutger in tow.

“what the fuck!”

[iwritesickfic]

Surprise

part 1! - partially in response to a few prompts, partially its own thing. enjoy!

Seamus is almost vibrating with excitement. He hasn’t seen Theo in a month, and tonight is finally going to be the night. He’s been touring, and though Seamus would love to travel with him, he has all his own shit to do in Ireland. Lots of shit. Unfortunately.

But he finally had the time to fly the 7 and a half hours to New York to see Theo perform this week. And Theo has no idea. He's taken every precaution to make sure of that.

The show is just about over, and Seamus is standing in one of the cinderblock and concrete access hallways below the stadium, fidgeting like he’s waiting for his prom date.

Then Theo’s there, swarmed by crew members and production people, gorgeous as ever. He’s still a ways away down the hall, and it doesn’t seem like he’s seen Seamus yet. He gives it a few moments before calling out.

“Theo!” A few heads turn, and Theo looks around, totally confused, so Seamus calls again. “Theo!” His voice echoes in the cavernous space, and finally Theo’s eyes find his. Then he’s sprinting down the hallway toward him, nearly knocking Seamus over as they embrace.

The first thing Seamus notices above all else is how hard he’s trembling. It’s more like shaking. Seamus holds him tight, pulling him flush against him, and feels Theo start to cry, his face buried in Seamus’s neck. He's sobbing, gasping for breath. He’s slick with sweat, his hair stuck to his temples and forehead.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Seamus says gently, and kisses his cheek. “Are you happy to see me?” He asks teasingly, and Theo pulls back, looking half overjoyed and half exhausted. He presses a kiss to Seamus’s lips, then rests his forehead on his, eyes closed. He's out of breath - from the crying or the sprint or the kiss Seamus isn't sure.

“You have no fucking idea,” Theo whispers. His voice sounds totally shot, and he’s still shaking. He’s flushed and warm too, but that can probably be chalked up to the fact he just did a two hour set under stage lights. “Please tell me you’re staying the night. Please, fuck.”

His arms are looped around Seamus's neck.

“As long as you want,” Seamus says, and presses another kiss to his cheek. God, he’s warm. He runs his hand through Theo’s sweat damp hair, pushing some off his face and forehead. “You wanna sit down?” Theo nods, and Seamus guides him to a folding chair. He stumbles, and Seamus catches him by the elbow.

He’s getting more and more concerned with each passing moment. He’s seen Theo after shows before, and it’s never this bad. He almost seems drunk.

Theo practically collapses into the chair, then folds forward, elbows on knees, head in his hands. His greasy strands of auburn hair hang down around his face. Seamus lays a hand on his back and squats down.

"Are you ok?" he asks, hushed, and Theo nods, but doesn't say anything. "Are you sure?" He swallows thickly and looks up.

"I'm so happy you're here Shay, I'm just having a terrible fucking day and I-" he stops abruptly as he sees something over Seamus's shoulder and forces a smile.

"Amazing show tonight!" a female voice says, and Seamus looks back to see Emma, the tour manager. Immediately Seamus feels his shoulders tense. He and Emma always seem to be getting into screaming matches. He never intends it to be that way, but that's how it always ends up.

"Thanks," Theo says, voice still hoarse. She keeps walking, and as soon as she's gone, his smile drops again. He lowers his voice and looks back to Seamus. "Can we just go? Please, can we go home?" He sounds on the verge of tears, like he's unsure of what the response will be. Seamus tucks some of his hair behind his ear.

"Teddy, of course." He's beyond worried now. Theo stands, and Seamus is about to make a joke when Theo's eyes roll back. Then he's falling. Seamus is frozen for a second before he makes a desperate grab for his arm. It doesn't help. He's limp, and though Seamus manages to break his fall somewhat, he's on the ground. "Theo!"

A crowd starts to gather almost immediately, and Seamus's heart feels like it's going to burst out of his throat.

Theo's eyes are already fluttering open again, but in contrast to how flushed he was a minute ago, he's gray-pale now. A soft noise escapes his chapped lips.

There's a medic kneeling beside them now, and Seamus lays his hand on Theo's chest. Theo's hand clumsily finds his, fingers still trembling. Seamus's hand is shaking too.

"You with us, Theodore?" the medic asks, and Theo nods, starting to push himself up. Both Seamus and the medic simultaneously ease him back down. "Whoa, take it slow. Just relax for a minute. I'm gonna take your blood pressure, alright?"

Theo nods again, his eyes falling closed.

The crowd is murmuring, and another medic arrives. They exchange a few words before he goes to work too. Taking his temperature, his blood oxygen, his pulse. The whole time, Seamus is sick to his stomach. He just tries to focus on the feeling of Theo's chest rising and falling beneath his palm.

Finally, they sit him up and he opens his eyes and the first thing he does is lean his forehead down onto Seamus's shoulder. He's still holding his hand, and Seamus squeezes it tight. He's also still extremely warm, and Seamus really wants to ask the medic what his temperature was.

"Dehydrated?" he asks instead, and the medic tilts his head as if to say "sort of." He stands and starts to talk to Emma, who looks more stressed out than concerned. Seamus tries to make out what they're saying, but he can't quite. He knows it's more than dehydration. Something is wrong, and Emma knows. The medic knows. Everyone knows but him. And it's making his blood boil.

"Shay, please, I wanna go home," Theo whispers, his lips hot and dry against Seamus's throat. His face is tucked in the crook of Seamus’s neck. His pleading, soft voice brings Seamus back down, and he's able to shift his focus.

"I know," he whispers back. He rubs his back, and Theo hums. "When did you start feeling sick?"

"I'm fine. Please just get me the fuck out of here." He's obviously not fine, but now isn't the time to argue the obvious. The second medic returns with a bottle of Pedialyte and a straw, which Seamus hands to Theo.

"What's - Do you know…?" he asks, and he doesn't miss the way the medic's eyes dart over to Emma before he answers. It relights the fire in his stomach.

"Low blood pressure from dehydration. Once he drinks that he should be good to go," he says, and leaves before Seamus can ask anything else.

"Maybe we could get you an IV?" Seamus asks, and Theo shakes his head.

"Seamus, please just get me home. Please."

"Ok."

He texts the driver to pull around and a flags down a PA to grab them a golf cart. He has to practically hold Theo up as they get into the cart, and as soon as they sit down, he presses his too warm body against Seamus's.

It's the same story for the car, and as soon as the door shuts and they're on their way, Theo lets out a heavy sigh.

"What's going on?" Seamus finally asks, and Theo tucks his head back against his shoulder.

“Tough show,” he mumbles, and when Seamus's silence indicates he isn't satisfied with that explanation, he sighs "I feel like shit.”

"I can tell." He presses his lips to Theo's temple, and is sure beyond a shadow of a doubt he has a fever. "How long?"

"Long time," Theo says. Seamus has so many questions he can't even get one out.

"You've been sick?" He finally asks. Theo nods. "How… What is it?"

"My throat,” he murmurs, and Seamus brings his hand to Theo’s throat, feeling under his jaw. Sure enough, his glands are swollen, and when he brushes his fingertips over them Theo stiffens.

“Baby,” Seamus breathes out, and Theo shakes his head weakly.

“It's not that bad.” Again, Seamus doesn't need to say anything for Theo to get the message. “Ok, well it's better. It's getting better.”

Finally, Seamus asks the question that's been bothering him the most.

“Why didn't you say anything?”

Theo takes a breath like he's about to speak, but the sound of his phone ringing cuts him off. Seamus is about to tell him to leave it, but Theo is already pulling it up to his ear.

“Hey,” his weak voice says, and though Seamus can hear someone speaking on the other end, he can't make out who. Eventually, he just hands the phone over to Seamus.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Seamus. You guys are headed back to Brooklyn?” It's Zeke, Theo's manager.

“Yeah, we’re on the bridge.” He pauses, staring out the window.

“Ok, that's fine, we were all just wondering where you guys went. Especially since he passed out, we wouldn't - well… It's just good you're getting him home.”

“Tell me what's been going on,” Seamus says, and Theo makes a small sound of protest beside him.

“Seamus,” he whispers, as if pleading with him to drop it.

“Realistically, we can’t cancel every time-” Zeke starts.

“Zeke!” Seamus snaps, incredulous.

“I care about him just as much as you, but what has to be done has to be done.” Even he doesn’t sound fully convinced.

“Spare me,” Seamus spits back.

“Shay, please,” Theo murmurs, and Seamus takes a deep breath.

“Just tell me everything.”

–

He didn’t have to carry Theo in from the car, but he certainly had to carry him upstairs. He’s exhausted, not even to mention the fever he's running. Someone in perfect health would be exhausted after the tour schedule Theo has.

He’s had some kind of throat infection for at least the last month, and he's been doped up on painkillers and antibiotics nonstop for the last two weeks. In the interest of keeping him on stage they've had a doctor shooting him up with Prednisone before each show. If it wasn't for the steroid shots he likely wouldn't be able to talk, let alone sing.

Seamus always knew deep down the label would do anything to keep their tour rolling. But he never imagined it would come to this. Performing with a throat injury is playing with fire, it’ll be a miracle if his voice doesn’t need serious rehab. For now though, Seamus is just focused on trying to make the best of the situation at hand.

Theo is sitting on the edge of their bed, flushed and shivering, while Seamus slowly helps him out of his sweat damp clothes. As he goes, he presses kisses to Theo’s overheated skin, slowly and reverently. Theo melts under him, pushing himself as close as he can get.

The way he’s pressing closer, the sounds he’s making - it all says he wants things to go further, but Seamus knows that would be ill advised at best, disastrous at worst, so when Theo’s fully undressed he pulls away.

Still, he leaves one hand on Theo’s head, the other on his shoulder.

“I’m gonna go make some tea, alright?” Seamus says, and Theo gives him such a miserable look Seamus almost wants to forget it and just lie down with him right now. He runs his thumb over Theo’s temple. “I’ll be quick, I promise.”

He kisses his forehead before heading back downstairs to the kitchen. He can’t decide whether he’s more livid or worried out of his mind.

A month. He’s been sick for a month, and he didn’t tell Seamus. Seamus imagines him in fancy hotel rooms trying to sleep with a soaring fever. All by himself. Shivering, aching after a two and a half hour show. It’s enough to make Seamus want to punch a hole in the wall.

While he’s making the tea, he schedules an appointment with Theo’s doctor and his ENT for tomorrow morning. He’ll need to dig through Theo’s bag to find his antibiotics, not that they seem to be doing any good.

The last call he makes is to Emma. While the line rings, his jaw is clenched so hard it hurts.

“Hey there, Seamus,” she says when she picks up.

“Hey there, Emma,” he says, barely holding himself back. “I was just calling to let you know we’ll need to be rescheduling the next week of shows. So that’s…” He squints at his notebook. “The next two nights in Edison, then Boston, Philly, and Pittsburgh.”

There’s a long silence. So long he almost thinks she hung up.

“Ok, Seamus. I understand you’re concerned for him. We’re all concerned for him. We all want what’s best for his health.”

“Emma,” he starts, just barely contained.

“We’ve discussed this in the past, and I’ve explained to you time and time again that he is an adult. He does not need you coming to his rescue, especially when you don’t have the full story. He’s perfectly capable of telling us himself if he’s too unwell to perform. Frankly, I think your behavior -”

“That is such fucking bullshit, and you know it.”

“Please,” she sounds bored more than anything, and that’s only making him angrier. “Can I explain?”

“How he lost 15 pounds in a month? Why he can’t stand up without blacking out? Why I wasn’t told about any of this?”

“You’re his boyfriend. Not his mother, not his husband - his boyfriend. And maybe the question you should be asking is why he didn’t tell you.”

Seamus’s fists are clenched so hard he feels his fingernails digging into his palms. He forces himself to relax. He takes a deep breath before continuing, fighting to keep his voice even.

“The bottom line is he’s not showing up for the next week. So do whatever you need to do, this isn’t a discussion.”

“Maybe you should discuss this with Theo before you break his contracts for him,” she says, her tone more grave. Of course now that her money is on the line it’s suddenly very serious.

“Goodbye, Emma.”

He wants to throw his phone. But the tea is done and Theo is upstairs waiting for him, so he takes another deep breath and heads back up.

When he walks in the doorway to their bedroom his heart nearly breaks in half. Theo's curled under the comforter shivering, breathing like he's trying not to cry.

Seamus doesn't hesitate in getting closer - they've been apart too long. He pulls Theo into his lap and strokes his hair, trying to not let how overheated he feels overwhelm him.

He's on fire with a fever, and it doesn't help that what little Pedialyte he drank has probably burned off already.

“Seamus,” he murmurs, like it's the only word he knows.

“I made you some tea,” Seamus says softly, and Theo makes a soft sound. “I'm gonna grab the thermometer and some ibuprofen and I'll be right back, ok?” He feels Theo nod, so he maneuvers his way out from under him and into their ensuite.

In addition to the thermometer and medication, he soaks a washcloth in some lukewarm water. When he gets back, Theo's half sitting up, taking hesitant sips of the tea, eyebrows furrowed.

Seamus climbs onto the bed next to him and presses the damp cloth to Theo’s forehead.

“I love you so much,” Theo whispers, and his voice sounds even worse than it did an hour ago. Seamus just kisses his cheek. He brings the thermometer up, and doesn't need to say a word for Theo to open his mouth obediently.

They sit there in silence as they wait for the reading, Seamus combing his sweaty hair out with his fingers. He’s terrified to see what his temperature actually is, and tries not to panic when he reads “102.8”

“Why didn't you tell me?” He finally asks.

Theo presses his chapped lips into a line and sighs. Seamus draws the damp washcloth down the side of his throat, then down his sternum.

“You know I would've dropped everything. I would've been on the first flight,” Seamus says, and Theo’s trembling fingers wrap around his wrist. They're so unnaturally warm.

“That's exactly why I didn't tell you, Shay.”

[what-even-is-sleep]

thinking about Bodkin again bc I mean,,, ALL THE SYMBOLISM OHHHHHGH. i NEED some tumblr film analysis hobbyists to watch this show and tell me all the themes n such

[indecentpause]

Happy MerMay!

The Fairy Portal is about twin siblings, Blake and Emily, who love tromping through the woods, hiking and exploring. But only Blake believes in magic and the Fair Folk until he and Emily accidentally enter a fairy portal and Emily carves their initials on the pathway through: a giant, old white oak. A fairy curse falls down on their heads and they seek help from their grandmother, Florence, and her friends, two resident cottage witches, Clementine and Dix.

When Clementine and Dix give Blake and Emily the Fairy Sight, not only do they finally get to meet their source of ill fortune (a tiny, grumpy woodland fairy named Tassie), they have to make a deal with her to repay the woods for what Emily has damaged.

Meanwhile, there’s this beautiful Merrow boy who keeps following Blake from lake to river to stream…

YA Urban Fantasy. M/M with a bisexual male lead and multiple queer secondary characters.

Ao3 || Wattpad || Playlist

HAPPY MERMAY IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN come on an urban fantasty adventure with a merrows, faeries, witches, and two teenagers who are in way over their heads.

Current taglist: @abalonetea @only-book-lovers-left-alive @poore-choice-of-words @leadhelmetcosmonaut @jasperygrace

@drippingmoon @athenswrites @magic-is-something-we-create @idreamonpaper @winterandwords

@revenantlore

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

The Sangre de Cristo Mountains, viewed from Cuchara Valley, Colorado (Aug 29, 2024) :: [Robert Scott Horton]

* * * *

"For he had gone alone into the island / And brought back the whole thing."

[Seamus Heaney]

[l1lyfl0w3r]

I desperately need a fic with a 'fake lovers' trope but where they don't fall in love.

For example

Ginny x Dean

Where Dean x Seamus is the actual ship

But Ginny wants Harry to be jealous, and Dean wants a way to forget about Seamus.

In the end Dean x Seamus start dating after Seamus gets upset and confesses.

Ginny gives up on Harry. Harry realises he likes Ginny after the fact. Maybe they end up together in 6th year, maybe not.

Canon compliant as much as possible but also not at the same time. Iykyk, I don't even know tbh

I will probably have to write this myself, unless someone wants to do it for me.

[edwardian-girl-next-door]

"I cannot be weaned / Off the earth's long contour, her river veins."

~ Seamus Heaney, "Antaeus" from Death of a Naturalist (1966)

[dk-thrive]

Between my finger and my thumb The squat pen rests; snug as a gun.

— Seamus Heaney, opening lines in "Digging" from "Death of a Naturalist." (Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1966)

[seamuswrynn]

How does it feel to know you'll live forever. What's it like, seeing people come and go, knowing you outlive everyone. Knowing you also won't see people dear to you ever again, like Eileen? Isn't it just sad knowing that if there ever was a real afterlive where you could've been with her again, you missed it.

I have come to peace with my predicament long ago. :) I need not worry about the prospect of another afterlife, for I have seen death and embraced it with open arms. I spent years united in nothingness with my sweet Eileen, the love of my life.

Admittedly, in my final moments, I was somewhat afraid as suffering was all I had known, and to die meant that the suffering would end. However, this reunion in non-existence was peaceful. I do not recall what it is like, because one cannot recall nothing, but I know it was blissful to no longer have to exist. Thus, I know there is no true afterlife.

I simply am unfortunate enough to be brought back from that nothingness, but that is okay. I am aware I deserve it. :)

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Mo Yan. Herta Müller. Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Lao Tzu. Seamus Heaney. Claude Simon. Octavio Paz. John Stuart Mill. Gabriel Garcia Marquez. John Locke. Orhan Pamuk. Naguib Mahfouz.

[nicohischierz]

you’ll be alright: seamus casey

tagging: @ivy-34, @hzstry8, @francesfarhardi, @cixrosie, @heartz4hisch, @trevs-swiftie

it was over.

michigan had lost to quinnipiac and were out of the frozen four.

your college hockey career was over.

and the worst part was that you hadn’t even told your boyfriend you were leaving.

after the game everyone gathered in the dressing room to say goodbye to luke. all the boys walked over to him all giving him a hug and wishing him luck on his journey.

you stayed in your stall.

“y/n/n, is everything okay?” seamus asked.

you wiped your eyes and smiled at him.

seamus didn’t say anything, instead he wrapped his arms around you and placed a kiss on your head.

“i’m sorry shea,” you mumbled into his chest.

the other boys looked at the two of you. sure they were all upset but watching you and seamus made them even more upset.

“i have to go with luke,” you mumbled, tears pouring out of your eyes.

“what do you mean?” seamus pulled away from you, taking in your teary eyes.

“i’m signing my contract bub,”

seamus dropped his hands from your body. he stumbled away from you and shook his head.

nolan caught seamus before he fell over. the younger boy had tears filling up in his own eyes as he shook his head.

“no.”

“you said we’d go together,” seamus cried.

[iwritesickfic]

So this past week I've had an ear infection combined with a sore throat and a fever. It's probably been over a decade since my last ear infection but they come with some serious wump potential. This made me think of Theo having to perform with a sore ear and any other list of symptoms you'd like.

hey there! thanks for the prompt ❤️ hope you enjoy!! :)

“You don’t have to do this,” Seamus says for what feels like the thousandth time. Theo sighs, slumping deeper into his chair.

“Stop saying that,” he mumbles. It’s not that Seamus is wrong - it’s the opposite. And the more he says it the more Theo wants to agree with him. This is the perfect storm for him to call off a performance. He has a double ear infection. His head is killing him. He’s at a festival in the middle of the desert and he’s running a 101 fever.

Still, people are going to be so fucking mad at him if he bails. This is his first performance in over a year, and he knows that people bought tickets and flew out here just to see him. The festival would be livid, even though there’s a clause in the contract exactly for this situation.

“You want some ice?” Seamus asks, and Theo nods, even though it hurts. Seamus is back in only a few moments with a bag of ice wrapped in a damp towel, and Theo gasps as he presses it to the tender, throbbing space behind his jaw. “Too much?”

Theo shakes his head and takes the ice, holding it under his ear with his trembling hand. He feels like he can hardly breathe.

Seamus’s fingers begin to work through his damp hair, gathering it into a small bun. He’s especially careful around Theo’s ears, his hands moving slowly and deliberately. He ties the bun loosely, then kisses the nape of his neck.

“God, I wanna fucking die,” Theo mumbles, and Seamus slides a water bottle into his hands. He doesn't need to be told, just starts taking small sips. The heat is making him nauseous and each mouthful feels heavy in his stomach.

“It'll be ok,” Seamus says softly. He kisses him again, this time on his temple, and even though it sends a shock of pain through his pounding head he doesn't mind. If there weren’t so many people watching and if it wasn’t so hot, he might have pulled him closer and buried his face in Seamus’s throat and let himself cry. But there are, and it is, so he lets Seamus walk away.

His set starts in only 45 minutes. They're already doing the changeover, stage hands hurrying back and forth with cables and guitars and mics. He can hear the crowd that's gathered. He's a headliner, he can't back out. He just can't.

Seamus comes back with some food, which Theo doesn't eat. He chokes down some ibuprofen and drinks some electrolyte thing Seamus managed to find, but he doesn't feel any better. The fact he's shivering now doesn't bode well, his body cloaked in a cold sweat. His hair is wet, and his tank top is clinging to his chest. And though they haven't spoken a word to him, someone dressed suspiciously like a medic is loitering around at a middle distance.

At least Seamus has stopped telling him he doesn't have to do it.

It's only a few minutes before the set is supposed to start when he decides he'd better finally put in his in-ears. He's standing in the walkway between the makeshift green room and stage side, staring at the two small devices in his palm. He feels weak standing up - dizzy and disoriented. He's trying to work up the courage to actually put the monitors in when Seamus comes up beside him.

He rests his hand lightly on Theo's upper back, and he doesn't need to say anything for Theo to know what he's asking.

“I'll be fine,” he mumbles, even though he can feel his heartbeat in his ears, and the throbbing is enough to make his knees weak. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth, and it's making him slur his words. His ears are ringing.

“I know you will,” Seamus whispers back, and Theo chokes out a laugh.

“I'm not…I'm not fine right now. But I'll be fine.” He's staring at the in-ears. Seamus follows his gaze.

“Do you want-”

“No, no, I…” Theo trails off, quickly bringing one up to his right ear. He hesitates a moment before starting to put it in. Immediately, there's a burst of white hot pain that lances down his neck and all the way through his head. He presses past it, but it only gets worse. He makes a sound between a gasp and a cry, and the next thing he registers is Seamus’s voice.

“Shh, shh, you're alright,” Seamus whispers. “Here, baby, sit down.”

He's shaking all over, and it feels like there's a knife through his eardrum. His breath is short, and he's fighting to keep from actually whimpering.

He feels himself being lowered into a chair, and he can't tell whether it's tears on his cheeks or sweat. The pain is enough to send his stomach into his throat, and he can't get enough air to make it go away. He hopes no one heard Seamus call him baby. He only calls him that when he’s too sick to think straight. Theo doesn't even like being kissed in public, so the intimacy of Seamus calling him “baby” is something he doesn't want anyone bearing witness too.

His fingers are shaking so hard he can barely take the small earpiece out, and though it sends another jolt of pain through his head, he feels immediate relief when it's out. The world is spinning violently though, and he can barely keep his eyes open.

“We need a monitor. On stage monitor,” he hears Seamus say, and then there's a mess of people talking.

Then he feels hands on his knees, and he opens his eyes to see Seamus crouched in front of him, looking how he always looks when Theo’s like this. Worried, worry poorly hidden by a small smile. Seeing his face tears a sob from Theo’s throat, and he's almost immediately wracked with them, chest shuddering and heaving.

Seamus immediately pulls him into his arms, his chest so solid and steady compared to Theo’s tense, trembling body.

“Oh, baby…” Seamus says, and Theo presses himself fully into Seamus's arms. “You're gonna be alright.”

Theo can barely get words out between sobs. Seamus's hand is on the back of Theo’s head, holding him against his neck.

“I can't, I can't do this,” he chokes, and he feels Seamus sigh.

“You don't have to.”

“No, I-” he's gasping for breath between sobs. “I-”

“Breathe. Just breathe.”

He tries, but he feels like he can't force his lungs to draw in anything more than a gasp at a time. His head hurts so badly he's sure he's about to pass out. He's about to vomit.

He feels someone touch his back, grabbing his shoulder to pull him away.

“Get the fuck off me,” he chokes out.

“Hey, hey. It's alright,” Seamus whispers, but Theo would rather die than have the entire crew see him like this. “I'm sorry, I…can we just have some privacy, please?” Seamus asks, and there's more muffled talking. “I'm so sorry. He’s…I know.” The talking seems to fade, and Seamus rubs his back. “You're ok. Just relax.”

He sits there for what feels like a long time, trying to catch his breath. The pain in his head doesn't get any better, but he's at least able to calm himself down enough to not feel like he's about to pass out.

Eventually, Seamus gets him back up into the chair and slowly, the crew begins to appear again, though they're pointedly trying not to look directly at him.

The medic that he'd suspected was for him walks over with her duffel bag and smiles at him as she starts to unpack her things.

“Do you mind?” she asks, stopping short with her gloved hand hovering over his arm, and he feels a wave of shame.

“No, go ahead. I'm sorry, if I…I promise I'm not, like, an asshole celebrity or something,” he says, and she laughs. Her whole demeanor seems to lighten as wipes the back of his hand with an alcohol pad.

“No worries at all. I know you're probably in a lot of pain.”

“No, I…I'm sorry,” he says again, and winces as a needle enters the back of his hand. He turns his head so he doesn't have to see, and his gaze lands on Seamus, who's talking with Zeke and a few people dressed in black and wearing headsets and holding clipboards. Stage managers, producers, festival staff… He wonders idly if Seamus is negotiating a cancellation.

Part of him would be pissed - it should be his own choice if he performs or not - but another, much larger part would be immensely grateful. He shudders as he feels the cold liquid of the IV snaking up his arm.

“What's in that?” He asks.

“Just saline. You're pretty dehydrated.”

Seamus starts to walk over and Theo feels another wave of nausea crash over him.

“What's going on?” he asks, and Seamus fiddles with the laminated pass around his neck.

“So they agreed it's within contract if you need to back out, but if you…” Seamus adjusts the sunglasses pushed up in his hair and sighs, “If you really want to, what we can do is basically get you an on stage monitor so you don't have to wear the in-ears. And they can get you a stool so you don't have to stand the whole time.”

Theo nods before remembering that moving his head even a tiny bit makes the pain in his ears worsen.

“I...um…” He mumbles. The throbbing in his ears is almost unbearable. Even as the medic runs a thermometer over his forehead he feels the pain worsen. He's so exhausted, he's so sick. “I can't,” he finally says and Seamus nods, expression not changing at all. The backs of his fingertips brush Theo's temple.

“Sure?” he asks.

“Yes,” Theo says, voice soft. He feels a dizzying mix of relief, guilt, and anxiety pressing on his chest as soon as he says it. Even so, he knows he can't. If he tries to go out there…

Seamus sighs and squeezes his shoulder.

“Ok.”

[elliebyrrdwrites]

The Heist pt. 6

You can read it from the beginning, here.

A New Addition

Draco, along with the three other wizards in the room, froze as a swath of red hair preceded the voice of Ginny Weasley. As she entered Draco’s study behind her husband.

“Hello, boys.”

“I thought I said I drew the line at Weasley!” Theo practically bellowed.

Draco quirked a brow at him. “I thought you had been referring to her brother.”

“I was, but you get one and you end up with the lot of them!”

“That’s not a thing. Besides, she’s a Potter.” Harry protested on behalf of his wife who huffed out a laugh.

“It’s sort of a thing.” Ginny Weasley swayed into the room like she owned it. Draco recalled her being rather confident, in comparison to her older brother. But this was a woman who not only exuded confidence, but looked utterly un-phased by Theo's ranting.

“What are you doing here, Aunt Ginny?” Teddy, who looked rather nervous, asked as he slid the guards lanyard behind his back.

Ginny strode over to the couch and set herself down, propping her feet upon the coffee table and announced, “I want in.”

Draco, of course, grinned broadly at her husband. But Theo managed to choke on his saliva as he struggled and failed to dignify the witch with a response.

“She figured out that I was up to something.”

“How?” Seamus asked as he fist bumped Ginny before setting himself across from her on one of the arm chairs.

“Well, first off all, Hermione dropped by the other day and insisted she speak to him in private. I always know that whenever she can’t speak to him in front of me, it has to do with naughty wizards.” She sucked through her teeth. “Secondly, I found Ron covering for him at work.”

“Weasley is covering for you?” Seamus raised a brow.

“Yeah,” Harry shrugged. “Who else can I trust to cover for me?”

“Not Weasley!” Theo growled.

“Ron wont give me away, Nott. Calm down. He knows about mine and Grangers schemes to get the some of the human traffickers caught.”

“Don’t you play Quidditch?” Draco asked, as he searched his drawers for something to munch on.

“Not anymore.” She drawled. “I work with Fred at the Joke Shop.”

“Oh, just what we needed. How fruitful your experience is to us. How useful you will be—”

“Exactly.” Ginny cut him off, casually and completely ignoring his sarcasm. “I’m glad you see it my way. Besides,” She sighed. “I’m bored.”

“Bored?!”

Draco shrugged, because well, he could relate. He had tried to retire from this life and worked part time for the Ministry as an auditor. But, half the time, he felt like stuffing his head into a carousel, just so he could have something more entertaining to do.

Theo opened his mouth to protest but paused and looked over at Harry. “Where is Granger?”

He shrugged and slid onto the couch beside his wife, who promptly moved her feet to his lap, instead. “I thought she was with you lot.”

“She was.” Theo squinted his eyes, briefly, then shook his head. As if to dispel his mind of any ill thoughts.

“Ginny,” Draco began. “You can help Potter set up a meeting with Astoria Greengrass.”

“Alright.” She didn’t ask anything except for, “Under what pretext?”

“To discuss the ongoing work of incorporating the normalcy of Muggle ways into the Wizarding world. Such as,” He gestured toward the two of them. “Cell phones.”

“Speaking of which. We should probably get some.” Harry tossed in. “Burner phones, anyway.”

“Why would we want to burn phones?” Theo scoffed.

“I’ve burned phones before. They sort of explode with enough heat applied.” Seamus nodded enthusiastically.

“Not —” Harry pinched his brow and sighed. “Nevermind. Just ask Hermione, will you?”

Draco agreed with Harry. Cell phones, though he had not much experience with them, seemed terribly convenient.

“If you had to guess,” Theo mused. “Where would you say Granger is?” He glanced at the old grandfather clock Draco had acquired from an antique shop many, many jobs ago.

“Probably doing something sneaky.” Ginny snorted and Harry chuckled. Theo frowned deeply as he played with an hour glass on Draco’s shelves.

Draco was on the verge of asking Ginny a question about the meeting when the aroma of garlic and onion began to waft through the door.

Just before Granger rounded the corner and held up two bags of Chinese take out.

Draco nearly groaned at the sight of it and the smells. Instead, he grinned broadly at her as she smirked across the room at him.

“Just lovely.” Draco directed at Theo who scowled at him.

“Where have you been?” Theo rounded on the witch who frowned up at him as she handed him a bag.

She took her wand from her pocket and quickly transfigured an old wooden cigar box into a dining table, and then added several chairs transfigured out of random items from Draco’s study, such as pens and decorative rocks.

“Hi, Gin!” Granger greeted her friend with absolutely no surprise at finding her presence.

“Hey ‘Mione!” Ginny called from her spot on the couch.

“I got Dinner, Theo.” Granger said to him.

He settled into a chair and frowned at her, clearly disbelieving her.

“Well,” She sighed and gestured to the seat at the head of the table for Draco before settling into one directly across from Theo. “I did make one extra stop.”

“Oh, did you?” Theo leaned back in his chair and watched as she unpacked takeout container after takeout container.

“I did.” She looked rather pleased with herself, causing Draco to smile at her as her twinkling eyes met his.

“And?”

“Well,” She bit her lower lip and reached into that little charmed purse of hers.

When she withdrew her hand, she held up a long, slender piece of ivory.

“Is that walrus ivory?” Draco asked, impressed.

“It is!” She handed it to him as he settled at the table.

Harry, Seamus, Teddy and Ginny all joined and began to pick through the food.

“You want to make a replica.” Draco murmured, nodding as he turned the piece over.

“I do.” She grabbed a pair of chopsticks and tucked into a box of chow mien.

“And where did you happen to come up on a tusk of a walrus?”

Granger shrugged and took a bite of noodles. “I stopped by Cormac’s.”

Theo made a gagging noise while Harry and Ginny cringed.

“I knew it.”

“McLaggen?” Seamus’ nose crinkled in disgust.

“Yes, he owed me a favor.”

Draco decided that while it was amusing to watch the lot of them degrade McLaggen, he didn’t appreciate the flustered look on Granger’s face as she tried to avoid all of the disapproving looks from her friends.

“I found out whose blood was used for the ward on The Wand,” Draco broke into the tension as he pinched a piece of salt and pepper chicken.

“You did?” Granger’s discomfort immediately vanished. “Who?”

“Astoria Greengrass.”

Theo choked on his noodles and Granger glanced at him before tilting her head. “How odd. How did you find out?”

“Well,” He poked around the paper container a bit before setting it down. “I saw her at the museum talking with the curator and after a bit of research I found that she is, indeed, the one who donated the item from a personal collection of art she has been building over the years.”

“Oh, well, how do we get some of her blood?”

“That’s where the meeting with the Potters comes in.” He nodded to the couple who nodded in agreement.

“Okay.” Granger’s mouth pulled to one side. Her little forehead furrowed as she thought about it. “How is Harry and Ginny supposed to get her to give them blood.”

“Why don’t you meet with her?” Theo asked to which Draco chuckled at.

“You know Tori hates me.”

“Yes, but, when she inevitably slaps you and cuts herself on your rings as you lift a hand in defense, then we can get some of her blood. Deal done.”

“Why does Astoria Greenhouse hate you so much?” Granger leaned her elbows onto the table, eager eyes taking in the exchange between him and Theo.

“Because he left her at the alter.”

Ginny and Granger gasped, affronted. Granger leaned back in her seat and gaped at him.

“Why?” She finally asked.

Draco swiped the chow mien from where she had placed it and took a bite. When he swallowed, he frowned at her and shrugged.

“Oh, I think I remember that, now!” Ginny nodded emphatically. “Of course, I don’t remember any article saying that you ditched out on her.” She grimaced while simultaneously piercing Draco with a disapproving look.

“It doesn’t matter.” Granger shook her head, as if sensing the same discomfort in him as she felt when interrogated about McLaggen. “What matters is that Draco cannot be the one to get her blood, so it’ll have to be you two.”

Theo nodded. “And it’ll have to be creative.”

Teddy raised a hand, lazily as he reached over for an eggroll. “How does one get blood, creatively?”

Everyone around the table fell quiet as they ate.

“We could stab-” Seamus began.

“No.” Ginny cut him off.

“We could stupefy her.” Teddy shrugged. “Take her blood then obliviate her.”

Draco robbed at his jaw with a chuckle.

“Or,” Granger’s eyes were moving back and forth, looking between everyone around the table and doing some sort of mental calculation in her head.

“We could ask her.”

Theo laughed once. “Why didn’t we think of that, already?”

But Granger shook her head, undeterred. “She’s interested in the Muggles in some way, is she not? I mean, she’s donated a a piece of history to a muggle museum.”

Draco nodded. “She did. She has pushed her family to accept and embrace Muggles and things like Science and Art.”

Granger’s eyes lit up. “Exactly!”

“What are you saying?” Theo leaned forward, pressing his own elbows into the table.

“We could have Ginny and Harry pretend to be involved in some sort of Muggle foundation meant to study the link between the two. We can also tell her that it is meant to help the Wizarding world advance in Magic and Science, save lives or some rubbish like that.”

“Okay,” Harry nodded. “But in the Muggle world, there are specialist that take blood. We’re not Phlebotomists.”

She nodded. “A few of us can act like members of the foundation.”

“So we need to arrange a meeting with her to discuss it, first.” Ginny held up her chopsticks.

“Tomorrow.” Draco nodded.

“We’ll need Polyjuice potion.”

Draco nodded to Theo. “That’s not a problem. We have plenty.”

Granger leaned back in her seat. “This foundation needs to look real.”

Draco nodded and began to dig into his Salt and Pepper chicken with a renewed enthusiasm. “It will be real.” He smiled at her as he chewed.

“You mean Zabini?”

He nodded and Theo chuckled. “Zabini is going to help us screw over Greengrass. This is going to be interesting.”

“It’s going to be brilliant.” Teddy whooped and tossed an eggroll into his mouth. “Please tell me that I get to go.”

Harry and Ginny began to protest but it was Draco who appraised the kid and nodded. “What else can you morph into?”

“I could morph into a dog if it meant you’d let me play a bigger role.”

Draco laughed and glanced over at Granger who looked slightly concerned for the kid. Then at Theo who was grinning broadly at Teddy Lupin.

“This can work.” Theo nodded before settling his excited stare onto Draco.

Both men looked to Granger and watched as she fought the twitch of her lips, the fight against the smile that pushed to be seen once they settled their own onto her.

She sighed. “We’re going to need books on Phlebotomy, Teddy.” She glanced over at Draco’s clock. “The library should be open for another hour. We can make it if we hurry, now.”

Draco nodded, appreciatively, and winked at Granger.

He wasn’t sure if a slight blush had crept into her cheeks, or if it was a trick of the lighting.

"Oh," Theo perked up, suddenly recalling something. "While you're out, Granger, will you get us some of those burning phones?"