#don't even get me started on the host

[dont-read-this-im-dead]

Sometimes I will read or watch something that's popular, just to see what the hype is.

Let me tell you: not always worth it.

[fluffer5]

Humans are mini-universal beings

I think this is my 4th entry to Humans Are Space Orcs. And gets sorta terrifying with this recent realization plus the small clip I saw on TikTok.

I've previously stated that writers are creators of worlds, right? Meanwhile, visual artists take de-structured ideas from the writers to create drawings, buildings, sceneries, or moments to give us an image of the world that the writers are giving life.

Now, color me surprise when I got to see this random video on TikTok which depicted how we ourselves are small walking universe. Check the following pictures and compare them, yes?

Placenta after birth = the tree of life depicted in mythology (and seeing as giving birth literally means growing a fetus (later on into an infant) inside of you, it doesn't seem so far off now. Turn that placenta around and you're faced with the cotyledons. These things look like bunched up leaves on top of trees.

Human lungs and alveoli = if you skip the gory look of the actual organ and just see it in a picture, you'd find that it seems like bunched up flower buds.

Human arteries, veins, and capillaries = now, Earth has its river network and streams, yes? Places with high salt content and none at all? That's the same way with our arteries if you replace the salt analogy with non-oxygenated blood and oxygenated blood flowing in and out of the heart to cycle back... like how evaporated water turns to rain lol...

Human eyes = they look like some galaxy formations. One eye holds different flecks or palette of color, almost like how colorful galaxies could get.

Human mitosis = a human's cell creation is a galaxies' version of collapse. They usually go backwards to our own version to crash into each other. Ours are more of a cell division. But if we think of it's creation where electrons supposedly combine with each other to create another galaxy, then perhaps the idea isn't that farfetched.

And have you seen mountain structures that look like giants? What do we have as explanation for those?

Imagine the conversation after an alien reads through our anatomy books. One of them looks at you, face either drained of blood, deadpan, or panicking (again... at this point the United Intergalactic Council is on speed dial).

Alien: You're telling me that you are miniscule galaxies... like YOU are a microscopic galaxy that's being kept in form and human shaped by bones and fragile skin?

Human: I won't say that it's fragile. Some of us develop calluses on some of our skin which means they can thicken (forgetting to mention they only happen on specific areas).

Alien: You thicken your skin?!

Human: *snickers* Some have even thick faces (this alien doesn't know our numerous metaphors).

Alien: You can develop armor on your head?!!

Human: I think we got lost track with the anatomy book... what did you mean when you said we were walking galaxies?

Alien: You are! You have depicted everything in this book!

Human: That's just my book for beginners though...

Alien: You have more evidence that you host life inside of you and are capable of producing more?!

Human: ...yes? (thinking of babies, intestinal parasites, bacteria, and lice)

Alien: OH GREAT MOTHER OF STARS!!!! WHAT IS WITH YOU TERRANS AND BEING SO FRUSTRATINGLY DIFFERENT?!? What are you going to show me next?! That you eat Chlcusgyt for food?!

Human: *whispers to self* Those are like... our version of octopus and squids, right? We're not allowed to eat those? They're so tasty though?

Alien: *hears the whisper due to their biologically natural hearing to get away from predators* Oh, stars you are NOT joking with that!

The terrified alien calls the UIC to tell them how Terrans apparently eat one of Space's greatest hunters for dinner. That day, we earned another reason why other intergalactic sentient species should not mess with the Deathworld of Terran.

[horsemage]

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂

[ladyseidr]

one day i'm going to give in and write glam.mike stuff like rip to people who hate the theory but i think it'd be fun fksahskld

[aphverse-confessions]

hi i hope you're doing well! i love your blog, it's really entertaining to read!!! :) it just crossed my mind tho that it seems like a lot of people use your blog to have anonymous discussions about mcd/mys/aphverse things. how do you feel about that? just curious lol

Thank you!! I'm glad you're enjoying the reads

When it comes to anonymous discussions/discourse on this blog I have very mixed feelings. I've made it clear in the past I don't like asks that ask questions to the fanbase without giving opinions. This is an opinion blog and I intend to host opinions.

I'm not entirely against hosting people's thoughts on previous confessions. I think in the future, I may start pausing queue when these discourses arise as they tend to get interrupted by it. It can be annoying as the admin to check inbox consistently when these conversations arise because I skip queue for them and don't want to post asks on current discourse late. I took like a mega nap today and missed a bunch lmao. But I understand that this fanbase can be really touchy and opinionated on things and it feels a lot safer to use my blog than possible invite discourse/hate onto your own. So I'm happy to be an alternative option for people to have fandom discussions.

[theinfinitedivides]

more k-pop posting on main ig but i was thinking about this today and the way SM treats TVXQ is so f*cked up it's like they're still in the military. we get something about a domestic comeback once in a while to blueball us and then it's back to the f*cking trenches. when will our husbands return from war we don't have a f*cking clue. go ask NCT or any of their 89753536 units or something they're the ones with the budget apparently

[sonofsin]

I love being the black sheep of the system.

[deadtower]

me after spending the past 12 hours or so in a blinding panic of anxiety like. hm. things are really gonna be okay, huh

[walterdecourceys]

i'm taking the word "culture" away from christians until they learn what it means. stop saying """"the culture""""" when you just mean leftists on twitter you're not achieving anything

[lepakonpaska]

[happy rambling in the tags because i love my job so much ✨️🌻]

[intersexghoul]

Sorry I gotta rant in the tags like a maniac because we have nobody to talk to about this without risking our closest friendship. Nobody is required to read and honestly I'd encourage ignoring it

[ttngummybear]

I'm now reaching that point in the year where I start REALLY REALLY wanting a VR headset again.

[luckycaricature]

I just stopped liking posts altogether tbh

this is assuming its on art you normally wouldn't jump to reblog. i myself only rb stuff i really really like so .

The 'rude/demanding' tone would be stuff along the lines of "if you like but don't reblog I'll [threat]" which i see surprisingly often, both serious and more silly

[nochepsicodelica]

"All those drinks are gonna do you dirty, ma. You're gonna throw up if you don't get some food in your system, so eat," Toji says, pushing the box closer to you.

You giggle at his serious face, before standing up from your chair for the fourth time, trying to go around him. Toji's used to this by now and stands up, bringing you back down to your chair.

"Stop getting up and eat your food. You literally begged for this. Why aren't you eating it?"

"Why aren't you eating it?" You return, raising your brows at him, seductively. It doesn't come off too sexy when raising your eyebrows makes you immediately squint because of the light going into your sensitive eyes, but it does lure a chuckle out of Toji.

"I'm ignoring that. Just eat. I don't wanna hear you upchucking in a couple hours."

"You won't hold my hair back?" You pout. Your feigned little flash of sadness produces real tears in this state, so it's a little confusing for Toji when you start giggling while wiping at your reddened cheeks.

"Your food's getting cold. I know how you are about reheating fast food, so eat it before it goes to waste."

You smile at him, your eyelids almost completely shut in your drunken daze. Toji can't even lie, it's cute. It's the only reason he's not up the wall about this little situation. Then you decide to drop a bomb on him.

"I'm not hungry anymore. Too tired to eat." You rest your chin on your palm, shutting your eyes. It feels nice. It would take less than thirty seconds for you to fall asleep.

Fuck. Think, think, think...

"Hey." Toji pokes your forehead, lightly, earning a hum and a furrow of your brows. "What if I feed you?"

You laugh, giddily. "Ooo, you trying to romance me?"

"Sure, if you eat."

You laugh again. "Toji, you dog, you. I'm not putting out." You shake your head, eyes closed with a dumb grin on your face. "No, sir. It's food and then goodnight for me."

"You already put out for me, earlier, doll." He smirks at the way you blush, clearly having an 'oh, yeah...' moment. "Eat some more so we can go to sleep."

"Hm?" You hum, rolling your eyes open after your blink of sleep. You crack a grin as soon as you look at Toji. "You wanna kiss me sooo bad. Look at you."

"I'm not gonna kiss you. You're not listening. You think you deserve kisses for that?"

"Uh... yes? I mean no. Pshhh, nooo. Of course, not."

"That's right. So eat, or you'll go to sleep without kisses, tonight."

"Noooo," you whine, dramatically. "Wait! Fine, fine. Look." You take a huge bite of your sandwich, your cheeks puffing up as you chew. "Oh, this is really good," you say, muffled by your mouthful of food.

"Don't choke, doll. Small bites are fine," he says, picking up a napkin and wiping the excess condiments off your face.

You push through it and gulp down the bite. "That was a lot. Got bread stuck on the roof of my mouth." You take a sip of your drink to wash it all down. "Did I look so pretty for the party, today?" You ask, your lips curling as you put the cup back down.

"You did, mama. Stunning. Swept everyone there, off their feet."

You smile, the gesture transitioning into a giggle. "Even Shiu?"

"Yup. Even Shiu said he wanted a piece of you."

You gasp. "No... Did you fight him?"

"Nah, I wanted to, but I kept my cool. If he had put his hands on you, then I might have, but I had my eye on you all night, to make sure nobody did more than look at you."

"I wouldn't have followed him anywhere, anyway." You roll your eyes, suddenly so hostile against the host of the party. "Probably would've kicked him in the nuts and gone to find you."

"Yeah, that's a smart idea, doll."

Toji's elaborate answers to your questions kept you awake long enough for you to mindlessly eat while he talked. You were at the end of the sandwich when you realized how much you had eaten and how full you were.

"Can't... do it..." You groan, lying on the arm you have extended on the table. "Too full." You sigh, heavily, setting the rest of the sandwich down on the scattered fries in its box.

"That's good, ma. You don't have to eat it, anymore. We can go to bed, now."

You let out another heavy sigh, sluggishness washing over you before you force yourself to stand up from your chair, this time with Toji's 'okay'. He looks at your little belly as it protrudes from your dress, proof of how full you actually are, and pokes at it. Your usually soft tummy is temporarily stiff and it's adorable.

You grab Toji's hand so that you don't stumble as you walk. Before leaving the table, he finished the remainder of your sandwich in one bite and threw out the container with the remaining cold fries.

"Damn, you were right, baby. That was good."

"Mhm," you mumble, waiting for him to lead you to the room.

Toji helped you brush your teeth and wash your face, and when you finally made it to the room, he helped you dress down into comfier clothes. Now, you're in bed together and you're in his arms trying to doze off, but you can't with the way he's smothering your face with kisses. It's just kiss after kiss with him and you can't focus, but It is what you wanted. After all, you stuffed your face for this.

[bi-writes]

simon being protective of his mail order bride scratches all the right spots in my brain.

mail-order bride

you're almost relieved when you hear the knock at the door. you've been a holding a tree pose for a few minutes too long, and the girl hosting the online yoga class is starting to fry your eardrums with her too-perky voice.

you're sweating bullets, and her hair hasn't moved a fucking inch out of her ponytail.

you mute the television, wiping your forehead before making your way to the front door. you open it with a sigh, not really knowing what you expected to see, but it certainly wasn't the average-dressed man standing on the steps there.

you blink, raising a brow when his eyes roam over you, and you realize suddenly that you're wearing workout clothes, which is showing off a little more than you'd like to some rando standing on your doorstep.

"uh..." you look around a little. "i'm sorry, can i help you?"

he smiles. it's a little unnerving.

"right, yeah, i'm starting a business around here, and i wanted to ask if you've been needing any help with any fixtures around the house. i'm giving a 50% discount if you give me a rating on google."

you open your mouth for a moment, frowning.

"uhm..." you shake your head, "sorry. we don't need any help right now."

"you live here alone? sometimes it's hard to spot when the electric's on the piss, y'know? need a keen eye," he laughs, coming up one of the steps. you shake your head again.

"no, thanks."

he's a wiry man, but he's tall (not taller than your husband, but taller than you). you step back a little and start to close the door. he comes up the steps. out of the corner of your eye, you see the cat slip out between your legs, hissing a little as the distance closes between you and the man.

"wait! can i give you my contact info? i don't have a card, but i can leave you my--"

the sound of simon's truck pulling into the garage gets both of you to look behind. simon doesn't even park all the way inside. he throws the truck door open, stepping out of it, and the man on your steps moves back away from you immediately, making his way off the little porch.

simon looks huge, more so than ever. his steps are heavy, boots hitting the ground like a warning bell, and he's wearing just a short-sleeved shirt that's showing off those glorious fucking arms. you have never doubted simon's strength, but he looks like he could flip a car with the anger that's leaving him in heavy waves. you're surprised that you are not afraid; you just know somehow that simon won't touch you.

"oi!" simon yells, and the man definitely understands he picked the wrong fucking house to be a creepy salesman at when his knees nearly buckle as he tries to walk away. "where the fuck do y'think y'r goin', you twat?"

you sigh deeply, not realizing how much you were shaking until you notice your hands trembling around the doorknob. you watch as simon catches the guy by his dirty jean jacket, nearly lifting him completely off his feet as he drags him towards the fence gate.

"hey! hey! i didn't do anything!"

"i saw ya, ya fuckin' arse, know exactly wot the fuck y'were doin'," simon growls, tossing him onto the sidewalk. he hits the pavement with a cry, holding onto his arm, and simon slams the fence gate closed before pointing at him accusingly. "'f i ever see ya anywhere near m'fuckin' house or even askin' m'wife for so much as fuckin' directions, i'll cut y'r bloody prick off, y'hear?"

you blink as simon comes closer, the cat retreating back into the house once they see him. he keeps walking, crowding you back into the house before he shuts and locks the front door. his chest is heaving, black t-shirt doing nothing to hide the puff of his chest and how large he makes himself when he stands up to other men. he doesn't even need to make himself larger; simon takes up enough space for two men combined.

"he touch you?" simon asks, his voice low. you see his fists clench, and you have no doubt that if you said yes, simon would go outside and paint the pavement a new color with the man's face.

you shake your head frantically, and he lets out a deep breath, reaching up and wrapping a hand around the back of your head and pulling you close.

he bends, pressing his masked forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he breathes in slowly. he rubs at the nape of your neck, soothing you, and you smile when he pulls away, giving him those big eyes that say thank you, thank you, thank you.

simon cocks his head, staring behind you, and you turn with him to see the cat blinking slowly at the two of you from it's place on the windowsill.

"should get you a fucking guard dog instead," simon mutters, pulling his mask off and kicking his boots into the corner. you smile as he walks away, trying to cool your warm cheeks with the backs of your hands.

doesn't he know you already have one?

[clit-a-cola]

My ideal Christmas/Yule set up is like.

Do not start decorating any earlier than the day after Thanksgiving but no later than December 1st.

Try to get Christmas/Yule/Holiday cards out in like the first week.

No tress til December 1st.

I would love to have both a real tree and an aluminum tree.

I'd like to decorate the real one with personal and modern stuff. The aluminum with retro/space age/mid century stuff.

My mom always had this Victorian style tree when I was growing up and honestly I'd love to do. I get a lot of my uhhh ADD from her so some years we'd have like 5 different fake tress each with a different theme n stuff. Ice tree, red tree, goth tree etc. Honestly in an ideal life I'd be able to do a few more theme trees like that if I had the time/energy/money.

Winter bonfire and feast on the 21st :)

And a get together with friends and family sometime before the 25th to exchange cookies and presents.

And a big New Years Eve get together at the end of the year. Perhaps with fireworks.