#this is sarcasm.

[frostedpuffs]

i love living in Florida where every single year there's a massive natural disaster. sometimes multiple times a year! so cool

[irl-batsignal]

Being a vigilante is soo fun!

[cryptic-science]

love shitting my brains out in the woods

[ravendruid]

Yes, the best thing to do after getting a new tattoo is to go swim in the ocean xD

[bitterbelphie]

mimic situation's going great.

[hello-mrpresident]

"Don't worry the alien your son is beating is not within your jurisdiction!"

Great! I can sleep easy at night knowing this.

[cabernet-and-calculations]

Oh, thank god.

[showfallmediamaintenance]

considering the likelihood you get trapped i’d suggest changing your tumblr blog bio. remove the “just escaped from showfall part.”

I am LOVING your confidence in me right now! Keep it up buddy! Yay!

[sonofsin]

I love being the black sheep of the system.

[serpentsurgency]

So.. no blorbo murder, correct? And you do still like him? Sounded like it from your little speech there..

No, I lied a second time and killed him. I’ve spent the entire week with his ghost.

[fourfuckinghorsemen]

I should get a part time job, one where I only work on Tuesdays.

[o5-blackbird]

Is everybody still in one piece..?

No. We've all died. You're talking to ghost number three.

[mx-moon-and-stars]

…Oh, wonderful. Another. We may as well just shout it from the rooftops. I hope this entertains you.

[clarenecessities]

yes haha you're all very cute. that was definitely directed at you, three random strangers, and not at my friends, who reblogged this in 2018.

there’s something endlessly hilarious to me about the phrase “hotly debated” in an academic context. like i just picture a bunch of nerds at podiums & one’s like “of course there was a paleolithic bear cult in Northern Eurasia” and another one just looks him in the eye and says “i’l kill you in real life, kevin”

[sparklebyte]

oh so you’re telling me the guy had a 3 page handwritten explanation of his motives and mindset and a gun and silencer that matches the description despite it being a week since the guy was shot? hmmmm interesting

[ithappensoffstage]

I am genuinely so worried for all the young horny dykes going into adulthood thinking there's something "problematic" / "wrong" with them for being horny because fucking tiktok lesbians think any horny dyke content is "male gaze fetishistic"