#don't ask me how ive no fucking clue

[iridescentis]

sickening that i have to think about studying rather than 50 different fic ideas floating in my head tomorrow this should be considered a crime

[prismalmelonman]

Touching on Gale, Wyll, and Halsin's traumas being a bit undermined in parts of the fandom

So one thing I notice on Twitter is how some people act about the bg3 characters whose abuses were perpetuated by women.

Gale specifically for this reason (but I will touch on others)bbecause I see him dismissed super often as "can't get over his ex".

But Gale's case obviously be has the line of Mystra being like "she was my muse, my teacher, and then my lover" and sure to some that's a red flag in itself (when it comes to adults I don't really give a fuck about teacher/student) but if you view it from not only Gale's own words "ive been connected with the weave for as long as i can remember"

And that doesn't distract from his genuine love of magic of course. And it also doesn't mean that he's actually been in connection with mystra for an amount of time.

However, if you ascend Gale, and he becomes a god, you get a bunch of new little things. Tara reminiscing of course, but you get a letter from Elminster, detailing that Mystra had Elminster scope out Gale when he was eight!

And sure is that pretty cool that he's a prodigy that got the attention of the goddess of magic at that age? Yes. Mystra is, however, known in forgotten Realms lore to seek young young boys who are in tune with magic to make into her chosen. And from context clues, her chosen can be anything from Elminster and Volo, dedicated wizards who try to keep things in check, etc etc. or they're somewhat of playthings to her.

Minsc also has a conversation where me mentions that weave-touched boys in his homeland were hidden away to hone their craft, then suspecting that it was because of Mystra, given Gale's case.

Gale always seems so proud that he got to bed a goddess, and on the surface, hell yeah, that's cool.

Gale continued to have her attention even as he went to Blackstaff Academy, and Mystra eventually did take him on as an apprentice directly to her, later making him her chosen, and sleeping with him.

The reason it bothers me that people dismiss all of Gale's stuff to just "he can't get over his ex" is because that's is like almost textbook grooming? She was in his life from a young age, shaping and moulding him up as he grew up to be her perfect chosen, rewarding him by sleeping with him, and so on. And then of course casting him away when he has his folly with the netherese orb (and to be fair, it very well could have looked like to her that he was trying to seize the power himself and yes the orb does siphon off weave. That is a problem for the mistress of the weave yes).

But she also tells gale to KILL HIMSELF for her forgiveness.

Gale is much more than "unable to be over his ex" this woman was in his life since he was a kid. She's almost all he has ever known. If course it's going to be difficult for him to 1. Say no to her. 2. Get over the fact that he's lost someone that he spent his literal entire life dedicated to. Honestly if asked, I don't even think Gale would acknowledge or really see that what he went through was, in fact, abuse until it was spelled out in front of him. (Which does happen somewhat with the player character pleading to him that killing himself for mystra's forgiveness is actually horrific and that he should in fact be angry for how he was treated)

Similarly, and this one has been discussed a lot, Wyll and Mizora. Wyll was 17 and actively trying to help his people. 17, in a vulnerable state, willing to do anything to help and prove himself. Mizora very clearly took advantage of him, and regards him as a "pet", refers to him being "leashed", and so on. Personally, I do dislike the sexualization of their relationship, because it very much is also grooming (although a different type. Rather than manipulating and shaping his life from the ground up, she takes advantage of a vulnerable and desperate state to manipulate and contract Wyll into doing her bidding. I won't go too deep I to this one because it has been discussed to hell and back. But I did wanna touch on Wyll's situation as well.

Also, Halsin as well, though that has also been discussed in many retrospectives by a very good friend of mine. Halsin's trauma often get dismissed due to his polyamory, open sexual nature, and his own somewhat diminishing/dismissal of it, which honestly I love the representation of, cause for a while I did that with my own trauma. Halsin was a sex slave to a house of Lolth-Sworn drow, a matriarchal society, where the men are generally used as fodder or for breeding, though male Lolth-Sworn drow can be wizards and rise in the ranks if wizardry, but are limited everywhere else. (Minthara mentions that the third male, and every subsequent male child after third are killed for being"useless"). Halsin often referred to them as "hosts" rather than being captors, (though he does touch on that if the Player Character threatens to sell him back into slavery). Again, everything I'd have to say here for Halsin has entirely been discussed top to bottom by a friend, their link is below!!

Anyway, long story short, I dislike it a lot when Gale, Wyll, and Halsin's traumas and abuses get diminished, even if/when the character themself doesn't see or acknowledge the abuse in the same lens that we, the players, do.

[ruby-white-rabbit]

So Ive seen this with shows, books, and now song titles so I just want to get something off my chest

At least ONCE say the whole thing you're talking about. I'm so tired of seeing alphabet soup and having NO CLUE what you're talking about.

People will gush about characters or a story and it sounds interesting and then... Acronym.

No tag or mention of the full work just the keysmash

PLEASE at least SOMEWHERE tell me what you're talking about because even though I love a band and know all their songs, out of the 8 mentions on the post I saw that really triggered this rant, I could only identify two of them

"omg I love fwtbops and wiwtwbaitaiy!"

The fuck kind of stroke did you all just have? You love WHAT??? How are people supposed to look into what you enjoy if you don't actually TELL THEM. I'm in the fandom and still had no fucking clue! It's actually harder and slower for me to read like that and took far more time to actually type cause I had to stop and think about each letter and word MORE than if I just wrote the full title.

"omg you should so read acotar" I had to ask someone wtf that meant because no one would say it ANYWHERE. For over a YEAR. And sometimes I've asked and they won't tell me because "lol you know!" No! No I don't that's why I ASKED

Even if it's at the beginning of a long post and then you abbreviate it every other mention, that's fine. I at least now know what the jumble following now means. Or the tags! No one puts it in the tags hardly. It's just the acronym again so I'm still lost

If you want others to find and enjoy what you do, PLEASE TELL THEM WHAT IT ACTUALLY IS. SOMEWHERE.

I can't go into barnes and noble and say "yeah I'm looking for mgamttyss" and expect them to know what that boggle shaken title means with no key words

[mustainegf]

So can you do something about inexperienced 80s kirk fucking the reader for the first time and she tells him what to do but he is a natural talent 😉

YESS IVE BEEN DYING FOR MORE KIRK REQS!

Kirk hovered over me, clearly nervous about this, he had told me it was his first time. I was shocked by this, he was such a sweetheart, how could he be a virginn?! Despite this, I did my best to show him the ropes, while still keeping him interested.

Id had sex a few times before, and I wanted Kirk's first to be enjoyable. And I could tell that he was super nervous.

He kept fidgeting, his hands were shaking as he undressed me and then himself. But once we got started, he got into it.

Really into it.

"Fuck.." Kirk muttered, dropping his head to my shoulder, his fingers rubbing my clit. I was breathless, not only from the pleasure, but I was taken aback by how skilled those fingers of his were.

"I... I've never done this before," he whispered, looking up at me with those puppy dog eyes. "Well, you're doing- fuck.. so amazing..." I reassured him.

"Keep going." He did.

Kirk slipped his fingers inside of me, pumping them with the perfect amount of curl. How did he do it? "Ohh! Kirk!" I wailed, grabbing his shoulders to brace myself.

"That's it, cum on my fingers, baby," Kirk cooed. I had no idea how he did it, did he read some special porn mag? I had no clue how he managed to make me feel so good, especially for his first time.

"Kirk, Kirk I'm gonna cum!" I yelled, glancing down as his fingers quickened, finding my g spot and working at it.

My hole spasmed around his quick fingers, my head throwing back.

I came hard, the shudders running through my body. As I caught my breath, I glanced down, and found Kirk staring intently at me.

"How'd you do that!?" I said with a breathless look of shock. Kirk giggled, his face going pink, flashing those cute crooked teeth.

"Umm... I have no idea," he stuttered. "You felt so good, I just went with what felt right."

I scoffed, kissing him slowly. "Show me what else you got," I smiled.

Kirk's eyes flashed with nervousness, but it was only brief. His hand found his member, quick strokes as he limited himself with me.

"Just take a deep breath, and push in, don't worry about hurting me," I told him softly. "Don't worry, babe, I know what I'm doing," he grinned.

Those funky teeth of his, they were so endearing, just adding a touch of boyish charm. I was too caught up with his smile to notice that he was seconds from pushing into me. With a loud gasp, I felt him fill me to the brim.

"Fuck, Kirk!" I moaned loudly, groaning into the pillow.

"Fuck!" He exclaimed. "Fuck, you feel so good." With a sudden thrust, he buried himself to the hilt.

"Aghhh!" I whined.

"Yeah, just like that," he panted, his eyes closed.

"This is insane. I can't believe I'm finally getting my cherry popped." He giggled. "Kirk, stop saying that," I told him, cringing with a chuckle. Kirk always said that to get a laugh out of me.

Kirk smiled, leaning down to kiss me as he thrusted.

I cupped his cheeks, my lips melting to his. Christ his dick felt perfect inside of me, curving just slightly and hitting the right spot.

"Kirk, oh, h-how are you so good at this." I groaned.

"I guess I'm just perfect," he shrugged, quickening his hips.

"Yes, you are, Hammett," I chuckled between moans, fuck he was good.

He giggled at the use of his last name, still fucking into me.

"You okay, babe?" He asked. "Fuck, yes, keep going," I moaned, my back arching. "God, you're so tight," he growled.

"Kirk, Kirk, I'm gonna cum again!" The knot in my stomach was quickly tightening.

I tightened my grip on his hips, pushing him deeper. "That's it," he breathed, speeding up even more. I bit my lip as I came, grinding against him.

"Oh, yeah, baby, cum all over my cock," he urged.

I screamed, slamming my hand down on the bed.

He kept driving into me until his own release exploded inside of me. "Fuuuuck!" We both cried out, holding onto each other as our breathing slowed.

After a few minutes, I turned my head to see if Kirk was okay, and realized I didn't need to ask. The smile on his face was enough to tell me he was fine.

Well, more than fine, actually. I blushed, looking away. "So, how was your first time?" I asked, my voice shaking with nerves. Kirk's eyes grew wide, and he stared at me, almost shocked. "The best.”

[stuck-writing-sickos]

Slick (yandere coworker)

TWO

[Masterlist]

[T/w: suggestive content, misogyny]

<<hey do you fw this guy? ik hes not performing nearly as well as Lukas and Yuki but tbh i like writing him. the bite-sized nature of this story is liberating, as is the inner-monologue style ive chosen. given how busy ive been this feels good to write hahaha. lmk how we feel about this one.

Also if you noticed how misogynistic my characters all are - lord knows i tried not to build them this way. Unfortunately ive interviewed (informally) a lot of straight cis men in my life and i'll tell you what - they are even WORSE than what ive put down here. My commitment to psychological realism may be my demise. Sorry if you came to me looking for escapism. But hey, at least these guys commit to the bit, huh? dont fw this kinda guy irl tho lol>>

For my own sanity, please don't give me the truth.

So you are the type to fuck me then leave me, I see.

You were gone by morning. When did you sneak out? I have no clues. It was my fault, I didn't hold you tight enough when I drifted to sleep. Can you blame me, though? You worked your magic on me like your life depended on it. You treated your tongue and fingers like they were that of the Devil, and the rest of your body as if you were on a mission to recall the soul I owed you. You even attentively wiped me down, smiling, your lips butterflying on my sweaty forehead. You acted like all the trickstery you had pulled were out of love.

No... it really was my fault. I should have been the one giving you the time of your life. Instead I let you play me like a fiddle... my god. How embarrassing. How very emasculating. I can't fault you for being gone so soon when I lied sprawling and broken after you were done with me. For godsake, I whimpered and whined under you.

I tried texting you, but you took half your Sunday to respond. What the hell were occupying your time? Did you have any idea how each hour agonizingly crawled past me? I guess not. I asked if you got home okay. You said "of course, thanks for checking in on me. You're so nice!"

Man, fuck you.

I bit the bullet and asked you out again. No respond for the rest of the day. Fine. No big deal. I was never one to be bothered by juvenile texting etiquettes. You were busy. I get it. You had plans. You're a busy person. All good.

Or you lost interest in me.

I feel used, but I wasn't sure for what. You weren't on it for a free dinner, that's for sure - you have never looked like you were strapped for cash. As for my body... I don't believe what I gave was nearly adequate. You didn't even give me a chance to prove myself - hell, you pushed me down on my own bed and wringed all you could out of me. Why on Earth did you humor me, if you got nothing worthwhile out of me?

Maybe you found that out afterward. You saw me at work, then at dinner, then in bed, and you decided that I wasn't worth your time.

I'l give you one - I now know that you are very funny.

Elsewise, I got nothing.

Given your secretive nature I suppose you wouldn't kiss and tell. There's nothing in it for you, except for an even more tarnished reputation. We all hate you anyway.

Well, they all hate you.

The others didn't hold back when they talked about you - they made fun of your clothes for being "too nice" (whatever the hell that means). They also laughed between themselves about your overly formal and distant attitude - did you know they think you're a robot? You are especially NOT popular with the girls, by the way. They think you're, and I quote, a stuck-up bitch.

The fellows mostly don't mind you. With the way you conducted yourself around me, I'm sure you know how easy us men are by now - if you're kind to the eyes, we wouldn't have any qualms with you. But, we also have this pathetic thing we do where we agree with the ladies around us. They're easy on the eyes as well, and we want to scutter around them long enough to maybe get something out of them. Long shot, I know. Extremely desperate. Well, I know that, too. Forgive us when we nod along or laugh between one another when the gals make degrading assumptions about the men you might have slept with to get all the nice things you have, like your shoes or clothes or earring or that enviable sense of financial security.

Again, I'm sorry.

I used to not think about their gossips, but the way you dominated my body and self worth stirred something ugly at the depth of my guts. Did you do this before? How many man have you spent the way you did me? How many were driven a wreck?

Actually, never answer that.

[alornights]

⟢ gossip session.

➜ in which ! kyle finds himself interested in your gossip.

💌 ﹫kyle broflovski.

✩ 🎸 warnings﹗gossip about teacher/student affair.

🍓 ⟡ notes — i love gossiping lmao. i also realized ive been spelling his last name wrong for like ages until now lmao.

he loves it, no matter how hard he tries denying it, he love it.

at first, he didn't care for it, actually, he found it annoying. he never liked people talking about others behind their backs.

especially if they are personal matters.

so when you two are just in his room casually hanging out and your face-timing your friend talking about the latest school gossip he made sure to tune it out opting to listen to music.

until he one day overheard you gossiping because he forgot his headphones. then he starts paying attention and listening more carefully getting very interested in the story.

he can't help himself now from listening to your rambles.

"No, you don't understand Heather. PC Principal has no fucking clue about this which is surprising since he knows everything that goes on in this school. But like, how does he not know that a teacher is banging the head cheerleader of the school but fucking Butters of all people knows?"

"Yeah no, I have no idea how long it's been going on."

"I heard she might even be pregnant with the teacher's kid. Yeah, uh huh, no way- HE HAS 3 SEPARATE FAMILIES?"

kyle tries so hard not to ask because he knows it's not the right thing to do but in the end, he can't help himself.

he starts listening every chance he gets. trying to put pieces together if he hadn't heard the other parts of the story.

it gets so bad that he starts listening

hell, he even listens to some of cartman's gossip.

finally he admits he is gossip addict and decides to talk to you.

As you walked back into his room after having a quick call with one of your friends about the recent gossip that just surfaced.

Kyle sighed mentally bracing himself for what he was about to say.

"What happened next? With the teacher-student thing I mean..."

You stare at him incredibly, tilting your head in confusion. "Huh? I thought you hated gossip since you know it's people not minding their own business or whatever."

The teen grumbled a bit before turning away. "Maybe I've had a change of heart."

and when he means "change of heart"

he actually means he's so invested that its like an addiction.

the guy becomes a crazed gossip girl kicking his feet giggling.

Words couldn't describe the look of happiness on your face as you raced over to his bed slamming your body on top of him in giddiness. "Okay listen closely. So right now, 2 of the 3 families have found out about this situation and are all divorcing him."

"Actually?" He questioned sitting up, shifting you in his arms so you were both comfortable. "How the hell did he find out? Didn't you say that they all lived far away or something?"

You nodded. "They do but someone from our school who shall be unnamed, leaked it to them with photos of the teacher and student, well, getting the groove on after school in his class."

"No. Fucking. Way."

"Yes, way!" You clapped your hands with a smirk. "That's all for now since this just happened like 2 hours ago."

A beat of silence passes by until he looks back at you staring you dead in the eye. "You'll keep me updated... right?"

You laugh nodding your head excitedly. "You'll be the first to know."

[crimeronan]

Asking this (neutrally) because Ive following your blog for a bit and I just really don't have a clue. But. How do you feel about Lilith?

i love her. i ADORE her.

my love for lilith manifests much the same way my love for amity and hunter does, ie: me throwing popcorn at her and yelling BOOOOO YOU'RE TERRIBLE AT EVERYTHINGGGG while giggling and kicking my feet. so to the untrained eye, it might look like i hate her.

i do not. I Love Her. She's Perfect....

there is something SO compelling in s1 lilith as this powerful, poised, serious witch whose demeanor is the polar opposite of eda's... and how Desperate she is even at the very start, how the audience only ever sees her relax or smile around eda... the knowledge that lilith's constructed self hides a MISERABLE shell of a person, that she's been plagued by guilt and strung along by the emperor for decades, that she's clinging to faith by her fingernails while needing to seem like she has everything under control...

and also the added layer of elsewhere and elsewhen -- the knowledge that belos spent thirty years PURPOSEFULLY wasting her life and keeping her as unhappy as possible before ultimately planning to kill her sister, bc he has That big a grudge. waow.

her s2 recovery arc also fucks. she's such a mess in so many deeply embarrassing and earnest ways. love her friendship with hooty, love her continuing to discover new character flaws all the way up to the end of the show, love how she and hunter BOTH become COMPLETELY different people once they're away from the emperor. i have to brace myself before i rewatch the ep with lilith and gwendolyn because it fucks me up real bad RJEJEJ. (in a positive way!)

in princess AU, though, i'm obviously playing more with her s1 characterization. she hasn't defected and amity hasn't fallen out with her since the covention cheating debacle never happened. so now lilith is dealing with the regime change and a new ruler and all of the Weird Expectations that go along with that, AND she's gotten what she wants (luz has agreed to help eda) and doesn't know what to do now, AND she's trying to be a decent mentor to amity bc amity does not have any other positive adult role models. except for maybe darius.

the potential for lilith and amity's relationship makes me CRAZY. because lilith cares So Much and yet she does not have an Ounce of emotional intelligence. she's really good at reinforcing amity's worst beliefs and making amity worse in general. BUT SHE'S TRYING SO HARD....

[mags-writes]

Sunlight Masterlist

Summary: frank castle finds his match in a woman from another dimension

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical swearing, first time writing x reader, no use of y/n, no beta readers we die like ray nadeem

Pairing: Frank Castle x fem!reader

Main Masterlist

PROLOGUE (you are here)

PART I || frank comes to stay

PART II || frank helps out in the kitchen

PART III || frank offers his shoulder for you to cry on

PART IV || frank gives you a call

PART V || frank contemplates homicide

PART VI || frank gets his worldview changed

PART VII || frank gets some insight

PART VIII || frank comes over for dinner

One moment you were walking down the street arm in arm with Matt Murdock and the next you were shrouded in darkness, alone in the rain. A flash of light, like something from a camera, was the only indication you got that something was about to change.

You'd heard of things like this happening. Flashes of light and then a missing persons report. It was happening all over the world and no one, not even the Avengers, had an explanation to give. The only thought running through your mind, despite the rain seeping into your shoes, was poor Matt would have no idea what just happened.

Everything looked similar although, you suppose, Hells Kitchen could look like any city in the dark. You took deep and calming breaths, willing the panic to subside long enough to get yourself together. You squared your shoulders and started walking until you came across a street name that looked familiar. The second you did, everything clicked, you knew exactly where you were in Hell's Kitchen, all you needed to do was hang a right, and three blocks down would be Josies.

You walked through the door and there were your friends like nothing had happened at all. Matt, Foggy, and Karen sharing drinks and laughing at something Matt probably said. You sighed in relief. Maybe you got lucky? Maybe you just randomly blacked out?

"Matt! Guys!" You grabbed onto Matt's arm, nearly hanging off of him. "You are never going to believe this. One minute I'm walking down the street with Matt and next thing I know I'm getting soaked-"

"I'm sorry, ma'am." Matt put a reassuring hand over yours on his bicep, frowning kindly in your direction. Ma'am was the first clue that had you stiffening. Matt not looking at you was the next. Yes, the man was blind but you were his girl in the chair, the one in his ear, and his makeshift nurse before you called Clair for help. Matt always looked at you. "Do I know you?"

The world stopped spinning.

"Matthew. Michael. Murdock." You said with wide and unflinching eyes and your tone made him drop his hand. "I have known you since your eyes could spy on the women's boxing matches that your dad dragged us away from. I did not just walk, at the very least, four blocks in the pouring rain for you to call me ma'am. Take it back."

"Uh, I'm sorry," Foggy leaned forward holding his hand out like he was about to try and move you away.

"Franklin Percy Nelson! Don't fuck with me!" You hissed, stiffening up further and giving him a sidelong glare that had him recoiling.

"Hang on Foggy," Matt said, before putting his hand back over yours. "Explain what's happened."

So you did. From the moment you woke up to the moment you walked in through Josie's doors. Every painstaking detail, telling him about the missing people around the world and the very, very disgusting and specific coffee order he gets.

"She's telling the truth." Matt said, completely shocked. "I don't know how, but she is."

"Listen to this," Karen piped up, looking down at her phone. "There are several reports of doppelgangers showing up in homes with similar or near identical memories of Earth citizens. And even more reports of formerly dead citizens showing up at their old homes they used to live in."

"How have we not heard more about this?" Foggy asked, throwing his hands up. "This is right up our alley."

"Probably because anyone who ends up in New York is weird enough to just blend in." You answered sarcastically.

"She's got a point." Karen shrugged.

[sunwarmed-ash]

Ah Fuck it, Friday

Alright I made the executive decision that Love bites, but so do I will be getting the Sinful Sunday slot this week! BUT I've also been working on alot of older wips this week. Like Silence isn't golden for example!

Here's a little sneak preview of the next chapter! It's not enough for me to make it a standalone chapter yet but I know this one has a few very dedicated and sweet fans 💚 this is for yall!!! thanks for sticking with it!

TW's: kidnapping/torture mention

Fanom: Harry Potter- Post HBP, Drarry, first person POV, heavy angst fic

Finally, FINALLY we have a lead.  Ron, Hermione, Dobby, and I burst through the doors of the Edinburgh flat without feeling the wrath of any of the spells that hurt Dobby.  “That cannot be a good sign,” I sigh irritability as the four of us split off in the small flat for any clues we can find.  There isn't much, this place has been scrubbed clean, metaphorically and literally with magic. And that’s more suspicious than if they had just left it.  There has to be something else here. Something to help us.  “This is the room I found him in,” Dobby says, pointing to a room I hadn’t initially seen. Once inside, I realize its barely a few cubic meters bigger than the bedroom I grew up in. The only difference is this one has a bathroom.  It's also the only thing in the house that still has remnants of any proof of life.  When they fled, Snape scrubbed any proof of himself from the premises. The same extension did not apply to Draco. All of his things were still here. Clothes, books, empty potion bottles, small trinkets stashed behind the bed for safe keeping. Things Draco treasured enough to keep around and Snape made sure they leave behind.   My hatred for Snape grew stronger the longer I looked over the room. It didn't take a master aurour to piece together some of the atrocities that went on in this room based solely on the state of things. If I wasn’t so desperate to preserve the scene in efforts to find Draco faster, I would have blown the room apart.  

Azkaban

Snape slinks through the prison easily and without attracting any attention. It’s a true testament to how snake-like the slytherin truly is. Moving silently and efficiency through the shadows had started as a defence against school bullies but now serves him in the real world, hiding from forces much, much stronger.  “Lucius?” The hollowed out shell of a man blinks up from his cell, his pale, empty eyes growing wide when he sees the other man’s face.  “Severus!” “Silence!” Snape bites, because his invisibility only extends so far. If Lucius screams his attendance it doesn't matter how fast he moved past the guards.  “Yes, sorry, sorry my friend, it's just- so good to see you! You don’t know what it's like here.” “I've been working on your case,” Snape maneuvers past pleasantries onto the task at hand. “Crafting alibis. It hasn't been easy.” “And my son, how, how is he?” Lucius asks, face obviously fighting to will down tears that wish to spill.  Severus doesn't blink when he lies.   “He’s dead.” “W-What?” “Slain, by Harry Potter. I tried to keep Draco hidden. But you know him, his disobedience has never been able to be reigned. He snuck out, and was executed.” “Draco- Draco is-”  Snape grabs Lucius’ hand through the bars.  “Yes, but you are not, Lucius. We don’t have time to grieve, every minute we wait, is another day closer to your execution.” “You're right, you're right,” Lucius sniffles, squeezing Snape’s hand before breaking away to wipe away his tears. “Thank you my friend, I don't know where I’d be without you.”

Edinburgh flat

I'm still not sure what pulls me in the direction of this evidence, whether it's my intuition or something magical but im both infinitely grateful and horrified to have followed this instinct to fruition.  The notebook I found was buried under a magical spell ive never seen before. Thankfully, brilliant Hermione has, and after a moment, the chest is unlocking, revealing a single book. Theres no outside descriptors, and the magic glamour on it is making it look older than it is. Another disguise to shroud its contents.  The bad feeling grows stronger as I leaf through the parchment pages.  - I’m barely through week two of Draco’s retellings of his torturous days in Snape’s care before my guts are spilling all over the floor of the flat.  “Oy! Gross Harry!” Ron scolds, which is fair, I nearly hit him with it.  “Are you alright?” Hermione asks, rushing to my side.  I drop the book and shake my head. I can't look at it any more. I know I need to. To help find Draco. But I can’t right now.  “What is that?” Ron asks and I can't make my mouth move.  He moves to pick up the book and I snap. “DON’T FUCKING TOUCH THAT!” Ron’s hands go up in reflexive surrender, “Whoa! Hell Harry! Okay!” “Harry,” Hermione asks again, her own fear and concern growing stronger, “what is it?” I close my eyes and exhale.  “It's so much worse than we thought…”

See you sunday! 😘

[lashysdomain]

@mageofspacemultiverse and @memurfevur 's Oc Name ARG Data

for those who AREN'T me who've spent the last 4 days and almost every waking and sleeping hour thinking about this, here's what we have so far + puzzles i've not yet been able to solve

characters: [name] - (blog they're at)

arceel - (memurfevur)

how we found out about ynygme (from here on referred to as E). ex moirail, used to be known as Balerion. this is the name that E knows him by.

Ynygme - (mageofspacemultiverse)

We have found E's name. it's recommended not to say it, just in case. they're currently in hiding while we find a tether and figure out how to decode the spell we need to bring them home.

the subjugate video

one of E's captors. we've been told to hide from them, so DNI. please. i know, villian, but dni. summoned by us guessing S

the warden video (loud)

another of e's captors, 110% fucked up on this one. i didn't notice, both of these are my fault.

current puzzle objective is solving the spell to get back to E and helping find any parts of their body to create their tether

extra characters and unsolved puzzles/extra info under the cut

watch'r - (memurfevur)

bound to arceel, knows what's going on to some degree, will take gossip as a bribe for clues, unsure what he'll give. that's my bestie

For now we're good on clues, but we might need more soon?

matild kirada - (memurfevur)

gilf. who said that mentioned in the poem posts image, likely whos help we need to find e's body

unsolved puzzles

i'm currently still trying to solve these, but i'm at my wits end in a way

possible code could be from the polls, setting the positions of letters in another key the letters and their resulting poll result numbers are: e2 r4 p5 i6 c6 h3 (the letters spell cipher. kilant you bitch.)

p is interesting, and has the options of 20 5 20 8 5 18 which when put into an alphanumeric substitution cipher gives us "tether" could be nothing but that seems purposeful? every other poll has just 123...

the pastebin clues, found from the description of the subjugate video.

these are settings for the enigma machine. what we put into it probably hasn't been sent out yet, it's also a clue about E's first name more than likely.

as dr el fj ky mt ob qx uz wh I 10 1 III 17 2 VII 6 4

A grandpre grid from the watch'r drabble and following judgements roman numerals gives us a likely second set of plugboard settings for the enigma machine.

the rest of the settings were found on a past post leading to a soundcloud link

ap cm dv gq iy ne rj sw uf zk V 4 6 IV 6 2 VIII 16 6

from the tags of the last ask + settings for another machine from the post where E told us about their past with balerion. it's unclear if the setting for the third rotor is 22 1 or 2 21

RC EY BF SG JM ID LQ KZ TU HO V 18 3 VI 1 5 III 2 2 1

from a poll with some sort of poem? poem might not actually be important, but the poll post is here

vuypo xu klt syet ya g rukobq crmgp fpkose kkmexf wkzoec knm bwbx qgzkem

Jcif xgs aphwvx rxdgdk jc boyf Irmm g inbfjh b qrqqevn onmzf Mcuvh omeccn diegypgp

from E's latest ask and pulled from the captions of the Warden video. if this is the spell, we're missing the last third piece still

i believe it might be a beaufort vigenere cipher, but we don't have it's key. could also need to be spit through specific enigma machine settings. there are far too many for me to brute force, so we'll just have to wait.

the words that bring them together are likely just the spell, not anything super complex (well more so than finding it all)

current state of the reset conspiracy board

[hypnobrainwasher]

hii um im new to tumblr and first off i love ur blog sm second off do u have any tips on how a girl like me can please men better?? ive been trying soo hard but we can and should always get better and improve :3

once again, love ur blog sm

Thank you for your question!

First, I'd say know your limits. Before you figure out everything you will do to please someone, you should figure out what you're not willing to do. No one can make you go past your limits, and you have every right to protect yourself.

Next, be super nice. Be pleasant and fun to be around. There's a story from years ago about a very successful madam who ran a sex work operation and someone asked her what her secret was, and she said she picked girls who were pretty and super nice over girls who were hot and bitchy. Be super nice.

Kind of going along with that, but flirt. Slide sexual comments into conversation. Lean over in front of someone. Lick your lips. Carry a lollipop or two in your purse or pocket and suck on it suggestively if the time is right. Guys want to know they're desired. This will do that.

Wear cute clothes. They don't have to be pink. There are all kinds of girls who are going for what you're going for. Show off what you have. Be proud of your body! Guys will look, I promise. Guys will always look. Wear cute clothes.

If you're in the position to do sexual stuff with a guy, listen to him. If he's not giving you clues what he wants, ask him. Have him decide. Talk dirty to him too while you do it. "Do you want to fuck my pretty little pussy? Do you want me to suck your big cock? Tell me what you want and I'll make it happen for you." Again, this is where knowing your limits comes into play, but if what he says is good with you, make it happen. Listening to a guy is one of the easiest and hottest ways to make sure he gets what he needs.

This is by no means exhaustive, but I hope it helps some!

[4-linz]

That Would be Enough.

Pairing: wooyoung x reader

Genre: angst, fluff

warnings : heartbroken wooyo, erm a lot of angst, some cursing, and i think that's it let me know if i missed anything!

Summary: when wooyoung got too overwhelmed with the new comeback you were there to help him back up :)

A/n: this is basically me making ‘that would be enough’ from hamilton into a fanfic with wooyo so ye :> i was listening to this while making it and ye

Wc. 1.215k

Wooyoung was stressing himself out and it hurt me to see that.he was so overwhelmed with this new comeback and he forgot how to care for himself. Suddenly he fell, I rushed to his side making sure he didn't hurt his ankle. When he looked up at me he had tears in his eyes. “ Oh woo” I cooed at him. His saddened eyes hurt me. I wish I could tell him that he would do great this comeback but I know he would never listen to me. He never did. No matter how many times the members told him to listen to me he never did. As he sits there teary eyed he eventually clings onto me and stars sobbing, whispering about how he's not good enough and how he's sorry he disappointed me and the members. Where he got this idea? No clue. Iv alway told him how proud I am of him.

“Woo what are you talking about?” I was slightly worried that he thought that. “ I never said I was disappointed in you? And nor are the members, we all love you." I said, moving so we were on the same level. “ How would you know?-” he said, looking up at me slightly yelling. His eyebrows furrowed, obviously upset I said that. I knew for a fact they were proud of him so why did he think otherwise? “ -And how can I believe you?” he yelled at this point. He didn't believe I loved him…? “ wooyoung-” I said, my own tears swelling in my eyes as well. “ dont.” he said, suddenly getting up. “ Wooyoung please listen to me.” I begged before he could leave the practice room. ”That's what they always fucking say “im proud of you'. So why should I listen now?” he said, his voice cracking slightly towards the end. “ because I love you.” I yelled “ look at where you are, look at where you started, ” my voice lowering. “ how do I know that's true?” his voice cold “ Iv stuck with you through every fucking thing wooyoung.” I was mad that he even asked that question. “ I don't pretend to know the challenges you're facing, the world you keep erasing and creating in your mind.” i said getting up from the ground, shighing “I know who im dating” reaching out for his arm to embrace him “as long as you come home at the end of the day-” my tears harder to hold back “ that would be enough”

“ I don't care about the money or your fame.” he pulled back “ they all say tha-” i cut him off “ if you could see yourself in my eyes i would trade my whole life for that.” I cut him off again “ let me grant you peace of mind” I said as I started crying. He looked at me, realizing I'm crying. “ oh my god baby your-” “ if you could let me inside your heart.” I said, pushing away his hand “ let me be a part of the narrative” Giving up on him, I let him wipe away my tears.”and i could be enough” i said, my voice shaking with anger that he put us in this situation all because he couldn't listen, and worry. I loved him, so why didn't he believe me? Why didn't he listen to me? Does he love me…? “ Listen to me once” he hugged me “listen to the members once” he looked at me realizing how much he ignored the wise words the members and I had told him. “ that would be enough” my voice getting choked up, trying to talk while crying wasn't easy. “ Please, take care of yourself ” My voice barely above a whisper. “ that would be enough”

“ I will ” he said, making me look at him. “ and im so sorry- “ he stroked my hair “ -for everything, the way i act, the way i talk to you, and how i've never listened to you” “ im so-” “ shush you big dumb ass” i cut him off “ yes ma'am” he said lightly chuckling “ promise?” I helped my pinky up at him. His laugh filled the room. “ pinky promise.” he said, interlocking our pinkies.” good, now let's get you home and get you to bed.” I said, pushing him in the direction of his bags while wiping the rest of my tears away. What we didn't notice was the other members watching this whole scene go on. Moved by how i got wooyoung- this stubborn brat who never listened- to listen and all it took was crying and some words about how you loved him. Why haven't they figured this out later? Well they have but it doesn't work well with them. I guess he has a soft spot for me.

At home he dragged me to bed and forced me down. I giggled at his actions, finding him clingy cute. “Wooyo go take a shower first” I said as my nose crinkled at the thought of going to bed on sweaty sheets. “ but you said-” I cut him off laughing slightly “ and now i'm saying go take a shower "I tried to push him off the bed “ think of the sheets wooyo!“ I said struggling to push him off “ oh shit yea "I gasped as he soon got easier to push and he fell off the bed “ these things were expensive, I ain't ruining them” he seemed fine, ignoring the fact he just fell off the bed. “ yea thats what i thought” i said huffing “ on second thought-” he said turning around and heading to the bed, a shit eating grin on his face as he watched my eyes widen. I screamed at him that I didn't mean it and to please go shower. All he did was laugh with his hyena laugh and go back towards the bathroom.

When he came out he saw me asleep on the bed with my phone almost falling out of my hand. ‘Cute’ he thought he carefully got under the sheets trying to not wake me. He put our phones on their chargers and put me in a more comfy position. He cuddled up to me and soon after he fell asleep, content and happy that he's with his girlfriend. The love of his life.

The morning came faster than expected and when wooyoung finally woke up he smiled as he saw me cuddled up into him. ‘Maybe’ he thought ‘ as long as I listen to her’ he smiled ‘ and don't do dumb shit…’ he giggled “ you'll be mine forever “ he said out loud knowing that i wouldn't hear him. But I did. “ i will wooyo” he gasped and attacked me with tickles

‘ maybe this will be better then the others’ he thought, and as he heard my laugh he smiled ‘ yea, it will’

[suffarustuffaru]

If you don't mind me asking but when did you first get into re:zero

yeah i dont mind at all :o ig yallre gonna hear my full origin story now haah. its my—my… ok id say tragic backstory but i dont think this is really that tragic LMAO. my humorous backstory? silly backstory?

anyway i got into rezero in summer of 2020!! this was months before s2 started airing and by around this time there was just s1, s1 directors cut may or may not have been out?? i forgor :<, but then s2’s first teaser came out right about now.

it was quarantine…. i was bored one day and wanted smth new to watch… and by then id only really briefly seen rezero—like you know that s1 promo poster with subaru standing there while surrounded by some of the main girls in s1 (beatrice felt emilia rem ram)?? yeah id seen that. in the back of my mind i kinda assumed the show was just another one of those abt a dude surrounded by his harem of girls or smth?? :< but then i learned the Real Premise is the time travel. via death!!!! and ive always loveddd angst and whump so i was like “NO FUCKING WAY I HIT THE JACKPOT” and eagerly looked into rezero some more to see if it was worth watching. and then i saw all the shit reviews on rz that never seemed to agree on if it was good or not…… and then gigguk’s video…… and then i saw mother’s basement on youtube make a defense of rezero s1 and i was like!!! ok fuck it im watching this show. i want the angst i want the complex time travel shit. i think id spoiled myself on a couple of subarus deaths by this point trying to decide if i should commit to rezero and then i started binge watching s1!! esp when i was like ok this is a good time to get into it s2 was announced right??

anyway i got hooked on rezero fr 👍👍 the first s1 emisuba lap pillow had me quaking in my boots ;-;;; and i was already invested from ep1 bc i liked the characters a lot already!!! i am simply BUILT DIFFERENT i loved subaru from day one!!! by the royal selection episodes ofc i was dying of secondhand embarrassment but tbh i grew even more invested in rezero after that!! i was and still am super impressed that the narrative had the balls to have subaru fuck up sooo so so bad there. like seeing that emisuba argument and the julisuba duel for the first time was crazyyy. the conflict was really good and the latter s1 development…. woagh.

and then you know i finish s1 and i immediately get to researching how to read, i read arc 4’s wn and bawl my eyes out from the sheer amount of rollercoaster both the emotions and Long Ass Novel gave me (yes i was bawling my eyes out at parent and child) (yes i was bawling my eyes out at choose me) (yes i was bawling my eyes out for all the suffering loops) (yes i was bawling) (i have no clue how i read all those pages fr like that arc is massive), i speedrun arc 5, i accidentally spoil certain bits for myself (arc 6 stuff), i read most of arc 6 in spurts, tune in every week for s2 (and bawled my eyes out seeing the s2 part 1 op for the first time) etc etc!! one thing lead to another and now i am here…….. three yrs in this fandom… nearly (?) a yr being active on rezero tumblr… HAH

also i made a reddit account back inn…. 2020 or 2021 bc i wanted to be a tinyyy bit active in rezero reddit (this was half a mistake btw. i think i have more balls of steel now but my younger self was sooooo naive. shaking them by the shoulders. this is an anime fandom!!!!!! and this is reddit!!! whatre u expecting???? i am less shy now on the internet thats for sure!!). anyway im still a tiny bit active on rz reddit now after not touching it for like a year. now i use my reddit account for spreading otto propaganda and slander /lh …../hj

but anyway ive never been active in fandoms until rezero and thats bc id usually lurk and a lot of my past hyperfixation medias were :< big fandoms :<<< but then. ok im a fanfic enjoyer and i didnt write much fanfic or publish fic at all before this fandom but then in 2020 after watching s1 i checked rezero’s ao3 page and *sniffles* *sobs* thERE WAS ONLY LIKE 2 PAGES ON THERE MAN….. A WHOLE DESERT…. yes and then one thing lead to another and now there is more fic and also ig id be considered an english fic writer elder maybe…… i started posting in like fall/winter 2020? and maaaan im one of the only ppl from that era whos still posting i think!!! ive seen the entire english fanfic scene pop up!! ive participated in a bunch of community events… sooo wild to think about. i feel old guys!!!

but now i have gotten more and more active in the rz fandom yes :3 its been fun!! rezero is very important media to me and ive met lots of cool people in my time here :) when october 2024 rolls around itll be s3 time (AAAAA HYPE HYPE HYPE) and like four yrs of me being in this fandom?? its wild but my lifes genuinely changed a lot bc of me getting into rezero!! met lots of cool people… made pals… gotten my writing and art out there and improved on it via. large amounts of rezero fanart HAH.. became more unhinged.. etc etc :D even got to meet one of my buddies i met via rezero irl 👍👍 more irl crossover events will happen i swear.

also gigguk in my eyes redeemed himself for his old rezero skit vid by making a glowing review for rezero s2 with his pals. i can forgive him i suppose :<<<

in conclusion: idk if i count as a fandom elder but i sure have a lot of my own fandom lore pfft :<<<

[fabiolajyx]

They cancelled The Serpent Queen and I am so fucking mad!!

I'm french and guess where do I live? In the Loire Valley!! My hometown, Vendôme, is where The House of Bourbon (the one we see in the show) is from. Their full name is actually de Bourdon-Vendôme, because there are three different branches and if we only mention "Bourbon", it's kind of confusing because we don't know which branch we speak of and Bourbon-Vendôme is the one Henri IV is from. Which means, the character that we see in the show lived in the castle located next to my elementary school! I was young but I can still see and hear my teacher telling my class "This castle next to us was a big deal.". Henri IV didn't live here but he came a few times, especially when his mother, Jeanne d'Albret, died and was buried here (along with Antoine and their first born son (and Louis, Antoine's brother)). So when Jeanne died in the show, in the story, they technically should have been in my hometown (and Antoine and Louis should have been already dead lol). Same as when Antoine and Louis went back home to their dads. François I, François II, Marie Stuart, Charles IX and Catherine came here. Sadly, the castle is just ruins now... But it makes me sad that they never mentioned the name of the town once. Even Reign mentioned it. I mean, everyone knows that Reign was more fiction than facts but still, they mentioned Vendôme in one of the latest episodes of the show and it's still one of my proudest moment 🥹

Since I live in Vendôme, it means that I live 30 min away from le Château de Chambord, where they filmed most of the show. I love going there whenever I can but sadly, I never got the chance to go there when they were filming... 💔 It was weird and funny to see how they edited the outsides of the castle. Some editing didn't make any sense but I get it. Also, the big gardens are from a completely different castle located in Villandry. So it was weird to see Chambord edited in the background. And it didn't make any sense when we would see Chambord fully and the gardens weren't there, haha.

Also, le Château d'Amboise was used two times and they kinda disrespected it 😅 I'm not entirely serious when I say this but I kinda I am. The first time is in the season one finale, when Mary "arrives" in Scotland. The second that I saw the location I said "Oh, Amboise" and then I saw the ocean next to it and realised that it was supposed to be Scotland 😭 The second time was in season two when Catherine visits Diane (who is still pretty young and most importantly, miraculously still alive in 1572 😭). When Diane and Catherine talk we discover that they are in "Anet" (where she died in 1566). I was so happy when they mentioned where they were in the story but I was like "but, but, it's Amboise, guys 😭". It's funny and confusing for me because I know those castles but it's perfectly fine for an audience who has no clue. Also, le Château d'Anet is a private property, so I don't know if they would have allowed the show to come and filmed there, but also I've seen a documentary a few months ago and the owner seems very sweet, so I don't know. They also used Amboise, the town, to be Paris, where Catherine's brother was supposed to build le Palais des Tuileries.

And last but not least, I wanna talk about Blois (20 min away from me, next to Chambord) Oooh, Blois is probably my biggest heartbreak from that show. In season one, it made sense to be in Chambord because this castle was François I's baby but he lived there for only a month. Henri II didn't live there but kept the constructions going. When Henri II died, François II didn't live there. Charles IX didn't live there either but just like his father before him, he kept the constructions going and consolidated it. Henri III and Henri IV didn't live there and didn't do anything to it (it's such an Anjou and Henri behavior if you ask me haha). But if Henri II, François II, Charles IX and Henri III didn't live there, then where did they live, you ask?! Well, they lived in BLOIS. Which means that the whole show should have been happening in le Château de Blois, not Chambord. Y'all have no idea how excited I was when I heard that season 2 was filming in Blois. I thought, finally, they are going to aknowledge the most important castle of the Valois! I mean they actually all lived there and this is where Catherine died!! When I say that that castle is important to the Valois' story, it's because it is. Do I need to tell you how disappointed I was when I saw season 2 last week? A) I was expecting multiple scenes in the castle and well, that didn't happen. B) I had to wait the very last episode to see what they filmed there. C) THEY DIDN'T EVEN FILMED IN THE CASTLE!!! We see all the Protestants walking across the bridge, we see a few streets that I'm not even sure if it's actually Blois and then we see the castle, in the background, behind all the protestants who are looking at a cathedral that is not even located there. THEY EDITED THE CATHEDRAL OF TOURS IN BLOIS 😭 It's not fair. Honestly, all the editing stuff didn't really bother me. I understand that they did whatever they needed to for the aesthetic of the show. But not mentioning once the name of the town that was important to the true Valois Kings and Queens is something that I truly don't understand.

The show is about the French history, is filmed in France and guess what? We had NO WHERE TO WATCH IT IN FRANCE. The show arrived like a week ago on Max and it's been n°5 in the top 10 since then. French people want to see their country in a show and support it, we have the proof and THEY CANCEL IT?! I am so upset. They could have give it a third and last season to wrap it up. Season 2 was so much better than season 1. The Valois siblings did bring so much more depth, especially Anjou.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I'M LOSING KING ANJOU. The potential that he had was insane.

Okay, I'm gonna shut up now and cry about it 😭

[callmearcturus]

Hey, i left like a kind of shitty and self rightious rant about self determination on one of your fics, sea)(orse like a year ago. I am sorry, i don't really know why i did but part of it mustve been i was sleep deprived and hadn't started E yet.

I just wanted to say tho, i just read Human Domestication Guide and have had serious brainrot about it for the last week or so. i mean ive been OBSESSED obsessed.

so like. i get it now.

Anyway, idk why i bothered putting this on anon given how easy it would be to track me down given everything ive just said but yeah. sorry again.

okay so a few things

thank you for the apology! i'm glad you reached a better place regarding the difference between fiction and reality, that's genuinely great and healthy, cheers!

its funny bc I was writing sea)(orse and the revenant au at the same time, and they are both leftist fantasies in opposite ways. in one, the fantasy is "this world is fucked, i wish someone would just come in and go wow this place is a mess and start fixing shit," and then add in a bunch of fucked up power dynamics and BOOM. while the revenant AU is almost the exact opposite, it's about recognizing the current system is fucked and making the decision to try and fix it and knowing it'll be work but utopia is a process.

here's the big one. i... have no idea what rant you are talking about. like, no clue. if it was a comment on the story, then I think i nuked it so fast that I just forgot about it??? and if it wasn't a comment, I never saw it.

and for that, i want to point to this as an objective lesson:

if someone leaves a shitty comment/ask about your fic, just nuke it! don't read it! once you realize it's One Of Those, just hit delete. if you avoid obsessing or rereading the remark over and over, it won't stick with you and you will be better off!

these are the rules of fandom. block people who you don't want to see. do not hateread people you don't like. delete hatemail and rude comments. these things work!

ANYWAY anon, i am happy for you. i am also happy that I straight up don't know what your rant was. 8)

[onereallygoodlambonastick]

rolecall / XG - TIPPY TOES / left right posting up slow switching lanes just like this / only direction i know swerving left right keep me upright / my adrenaline hit the pedal to the ground / 2 lil asians / don't we all deserve it ill tell you how we want it / no you cant deny it / you either like it or bite it / don't ask me if you dont know why / the only direction i know / what goes around comes back around / so when he comes down are you gonna let him pay or are you gonna let him stay

do you know why phonk gets popular on the social medias? because people dream of murder. they just find the most socially acceptable way to do it, because these are people interested in staying people. to those who dream of murder: this is will not kill you. for it did not kill me.

this is why everything i write is a poem.

and i think more of us should dream of murder, or what it takes to end a life. just one is fine. just 1. uno. uno. yi. yichi. one. One. the One. you believe in god? believe in the power of 1.

all for one / one for all. think on it. evoke all might, and evoke his enemy. why?

the universe is interested in this, too.

will you answer it - or shall i?

Dealer's choice.

You want to be cool? Be cool like a dying & a dead body.

I've lived through the age of humanitarian aid - ive seen nice people do nice things. Now I ask: Toni Morrison, what would you do different?

Fushigoro Toji knows exactly what I am referencing, and not only that: he knows exactly what I am aiming for. This is because he was interested in bringing the jiu-jitsu sorcerery world to its knees.

Gojo Satoru was interested in this too.

Now the question is: how?

Gege Akutami failed in his task to honor Gojo Satoru. I name you, Satoru: for all your fans call you Gojo, and I alone will know you. Now who will join you? By this, I mean: who will join me?

Who will speak conviction to action - because by the audre lorde, i Know Archive of Our Own, I know the dynasties of our time, and I know how to tell them from myths, and I know how to tell that from myth-making.

East Asian dragons are built like fishes for a reason.

Weavers in Palestine have still not fled. I need not know why. Why? I know why. Why? You gonna keep asking me shit or are you gonna use that brain two people gave you and the fact it's a muscle and do grindr? Grind on it. Grind. You done? Do it again.

You pissed yet?

You mad, broski?

You either wake, or you don't, unstirred - thus undeterred.

I say this now to honor James Baldwin: no more sleeper agents shall be in my path. Let's fucking dance, or there shall be war.

Sugimoto Saichi knows this so fucking well it made me get up and take a run, because he made me take a blow to the face and I survived it: he says this to a white US-American collector of Ainu artifacts: and do you know what he said? He said this: give up the artifact or I will take you down. Verbatim, by word of the translator on the pirated site on which I read: do you know what happens when negotiations break down?

It's called War. more simply: you, or me. it is an art. that's why "sun tsu" is famous in the white(?) man's world.

Now there is the mythicized World War 3. Chinese-Americans will for sure suffer like they were meant to be born stillborn in its wake. Do you want me to tell you why or will you look up? Current news is distracting for one reason: the news is merely an inch of actual reality that then proceeds to holler down several damaging hoops.

What is more accurate: current news evokes the current state of the world.

Here's a note to clue you in , not that any immigrant nor migrant nor vagrant really needs it, but here's something to piss you off anyway - Japanese-Americans were sent to internment camps. Wanna guess what number world war this was for?

Wanna guess? Or Wanna Know? See what I'm putting down yet? No? Okay.

No more sleeper agents shall be in my path. I say this now to respect the fact James Baldwin aided in my survival. He died already: why do I still feel him here, with me, laughing? It's simple, really. Because he loved Angela Davis: and Angela Davis is still alive today.

And I am right there beside her.

In the first and only book I've read from him, he said this through the mouthpiece of his characters, his loved ones, his chosen ones, the ones that would make him survive, AKA enable, and he said this: I will build a long, long table for folks to be eating off of for a long, long time. And the woman who loved him said this back: I'll go where you lead me.

This book changed the US-American consciousness. He wrote in France. I don't need to read his autobiography to confirm this. Here's why, because I could give less of a shit if you wanted to play devil's advocate: it is because James Baldwin judged he would not survive in The United States of America.

So he wrote in France.

I believe he died there.

Now I ask: will you respect 2024 or will you make someone come after you?

Dealer's choice.

You have been dealt your hand. Your ass is either shown or it will be shown. You either wake, or you don't, undeterred. It is this clear cut because empire has intensified, singing of its war drums: it has been, always, never new, always old, but never interesting, always predictable. It is why all the gongs of dehumanization are on. It is why those who have listened to it all their life are now cold like metal. We know how to be metal. Metal: the one thing that needs heat to shapeshift. Why is winter difficult to survive? This is why historians and social science researchers say the same shit and nobody listens, but they are slightly more likely to be listened to, and that is why people of color, and those of the margins, flood into academia anyway, knowing they will be perfectly tortured.

Do you want me to tell you how I have been tortured?

Do you want to guess, or do you want to know, or do you want me to torture you to make you find out?

There have been people who were shot for less. Of them: Hind Rajab. After or before her, because the order doesn't really matter, not really, only that they were dead where they stood: those two Red Crescent paramedics.

Toni Morrison must be shocked where she is in her lively post-death. She said this to me once, because I read it, and I felt her touch me, because she is real, and when she died in 2015, that is how I knew Donald Trump was fake: I will always be shocked. I will always choose to be shocked. I think anything less is a kind of death.

I have died. But I am still alive. Why? To honor the two people who raised me. One - a dragon herself. The other - a rabbit.

My dad has taught me to think like a prey animal.

Do you want to know why people daydream about shapeshifting into predators?

Do you want to know, or do you want to guess? Follow the path your parents have set you on since the day you were born.

Otherwise this is what will happen: you will never catch up to Martin Luther King Jr. You will not meet Audre Lorde. And you will not be looked at by James Baldwin, though he will see you, anyway.

Do you want to know what happened to the people who made Disco Elysium, or do you want me to fucking repeat myself?

You either wake, or Nanami Kento will never speak to you on his way to get a viet sandwich. And through your mouth will be flies: for you have failed to speak the truth, and honor the one and Only task you were given at birth: take care of thyself.

Number 1 rule of Art of War by a Chinese man:

It is the same rule that KDJ from Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint dances to. This is why every character revolves around him, carnally. Their hunger is real. Their seeing and knowing already there. This is because KDJ is a reader. He knows exactly what potency it takes to kill a character, and what it takes to keep one alive. This is why Shing Shong was successful in their refusal to write a story that comes from domination. Because first: she was disinterested in it.

Because first: she wrote a story. And it was a long one. 500 chapters. And for what?

This is why I want Shing Shong carnally. Why carnally? Well: what do you think? You wanna spend a guess? Come here. Come and find out. Come.

2024 is the year of the wood dragon. Wood dragons are named for their transformations. I've decided. Do you want to know what I've decided, or do you want to guess? If you are impatient, now you will know how it feels like to be in a burning pit, hellish by Japanese standards, tortured, forever and ever, and then perhaps you will have your first rare and individual and selectively acquired taste of what it has meant for everybody else to be colonized, while you stand, alone, mute, wearing the most bodily privilege you have ever seen, never acutely felt, and you will stupid for it - do you know why? Because white supremacy has an adjective placed in front of it, and it is doing something there. White supremacy knows it must first trick the light skinned people. So first it creates an abstract idea: it creates -

What would I have said here? Pull it together for me. I seem to have forgotten. This is the tune of real survival. This is why all people from all walks, all individual tortures, are still interested in community. You find the punk, or it finds you with a crackle of knuckle. It's why cult survivors exist, past being kept like abused animals. Because you will not die at the end. You won't. How do I know this?

Did you fucking read, or were you fucking tone-deaf?

Here it is, though, because I'm being nice: global racial capitalism is a cult with death at the end of it. And you must know by now I am not unique. Because even the worst person alive, objectively, by anybody's standard, got here somehow. And I have killed myself to care. I have tortured myself. I have. I have killed myself over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over because ultimately when the rubber really hits the fucking road I believe Ajin: Demi-Human is an relatively optimistic story, because those who have learned to resurrect themselves at will will always be interested in the good fun. Samuel "Satou" Owen is my favorite white-ish man in Japanese manga. This is because, like me, the Ajin writers and drawers were wise: they did not name the unknown substance that brought everybody back to life. They merely places an man obsessed with ways of living, at all costs, in front of it.

Satou-san is a white-Chinese man. He is mixed. What does this tell you? It tells me this: he is of movement. This means he has two feet. If he has two feet, and he is bipedal, and he can wield a gun with the mastery of a guy with chef's tools but in a forest instead of a well-stocked and furnished kitchen, this means he is a person. He likes to fuck around and find out. His white-american father failed to stop him. Why: did he fail in his task because he did not love him? The Ajin makers are clever: they had his white man of a father beat him, first, and then, later, quite quickly, demonstrate that he was a father first, because Samuel's father apologized for hitting him, because he wants to know his son is a wonderful person, and Samuel, so young, a child, stood there, alone, with a smile on his face, dead animals around him and blood on his hands, probably caked under his fingernails.

So now I wonder what it would take for Samuel "Satou" Owen to go back home.

I will write on this - cuz I do be writing - but I'll give you an interesting thought here, because this is what I offer, relief that feels like a slice that cauterizes the wound on the way: Satou's father did not fail in loving him. He failed because he was too kind.

I will teach Satou-san what it looks like to be brutal, but with compassion. And I won't kill him - now why would I do that? Ain't he the most lethal demi-human immortal freak Japan and da rest of the world has ever seen? He came from the United States originally. He only ended up in Japan because he is a video game freak. It's not because he's crazy: it's because, actually, he likes to have fun.

This is why he refuses to take his life so unseriously: he felt the universe slot another coin into his piggy bank. The universe must be interested in him for a reason. Life in the universe needs no reason. It's how we got here anyway. Now you must see the conspiracy? This is why the researcher who named "IBM (Invisible Black Matter)" was called insane and asked for the cigs in his car when three fingers, one by one, were cut off his left hand. He was being serious. So now I ask: will you fucking play?

Those who read of medias that show off their gore, turned like stones, with fresh worms underneath, in that rich, rich dirt: c'mere. You know exactly what I be talking about. Ajin: Demi-Human dances on the grave of Shounen by placing a non-traditional protagonist in the path of a traditional shounen protagonist and Does not make them fight. Instead: they are made to collaborate. Now how were they made to do this? Because at the core of each, was a compassionate core, and so every character was interested in each other as a person.

Read Ajin. It dances. To a music that few hear. Because it takes skill. It is not like Jiu-jitsu Kai-sen. It was not made to be a franchise, because it sought to honor its people that lived in the narrative. The cost: it will never be popular. It is why its second season is the way it is. This is the cost that Ajin's makers incurred. And they incurred it anyway. I have heard them without ever speaking to them personally. This is my skill. So now it is my offering.

Gege Akutami failed in his task to honor Gojou. Do you wanna hear why now? Or am I being registered, like a smaller gong amidst all the gongs of dehumanization right now?

Hey, fans of the Golden Kamuy - y'all get it most, for Sergeant Tsukishima is a secondary character and he has earned many delicious, life-affirming fics on that One and Only site. Each one I've really read got at it hard. Tsukishima writers and lovers and comrades in arms: Do you hear me, or will I go unheard like I have seven years ago?

Will I die, or will you die first? I won't. So Now the question is: will you?

I think, but first, I choose to believe in this one thing: all people know exactly what I am talking about. Because you were born. And now you will die, because empires have never been interesting. They generate dead bodies for a reason. They never have to say anything to dead people. Because, again, they are dead, and there's no way to bring them back to life. That is why eradication is strategic, and that is why slow deaths are more interesting, because it's quite hard to kill somebody without a gun, and so serial killers invent fresh ways to do it - wanna know why? Cuz they be bored, just like I am, watching them do it and choose it like a abused dog might with its ragdoll of a chew toy.

We see the dead people. One of my parents decided to become a doctor, practicing zhongyao, purely because he saw the way his grandfather died. Do you understand the acceleration of skill to mobilize thought to action? He spent 10 years putting himself through his chosen torture - medical school. Or will you sit there, mute in your dead body shame, so totally unmoved you are disturbed by almost anything? Why don't you find a corner in the world where you won't suffer for it. You can try. The last person who went to outer space came back and said never mind, it's actually all here and this is really it.

You can try the ocean. Elon Musk didn't. Wanna know why? It's because the hard, the really, really, truly, back-breaking work, is never done by the toddlers in power.

So now I wonder if Noor Hindi is well. The answer is no. Why?

Will you ask me to repeat what I've just said, or will you Read:

Dr. Alreer said: if I must die, then let me be a story. Of what?

Of what?

We all come from matter. We all know when things die, the matter doesn't disappear. This is some kinda physics law. Astrophysics too. Supernovas and lesser deaths of stars generate elements that compose matter. So do stars when they come into being. Sure. The Ainu peoples knew it first, as did every other peoples native to a land who did not seek to immediately obliterate it. Because they were first interested in their survival, and in that: how to keep surviving. Anyways, this is interesting. Because this means while we are alive at the same time, we are negotiating it all the time. This is why Stands and Jojo's Bizarre's Adventure is Bizarre and so fucking fun. It dances, and it dances visibly. It is called drag. It is called performance for the purpose, on purpose, for interesting reasons. It's why Kujo Jotaro did not die until his daughter would, because he protected her, and she protected him, and they died, but their friend, truest witness, went and finished the task given to him. And so they still lived. So it is bizarre. Everything probably is. It's why people are so interested in convenience, in that quick fix, in that hit of ketamine, in those shortcuts, in taking their lives less seriously, because they already know how serious it is to live in a world like ours, and they already know just how hard it is to meet each other where they are at, because they have struggled in meeting themselves where they are at, which is the deepest fucking pit unique to them, for they are being tortured, even as we speak, because it is individual: but it is not unique. Because I have been tortured. And I am still here, speaking with you.

So are you gonna fucking participate in derogatory theatre, or are you gonna wait till someone like me comes over and whips you where it really hurts? For those who are hung: you know. For those who aren't: too bad, you've got a throat.

For those who don't: we know what happened to them, don't we. They don't get livestreamed. DRC is silent because they cannot make it a football game. People are dead, dying, and are being disabled from living.

So now you either speak, or you remain silent, or as Baldwin said it: uninitiated, or unactivated, or as Morrison said: un-artful. If you do, remain silent or quiet or whatever that really chafes you right now, then you will never know what Audre Lorde was saying when she said We Were Never Meant to Survive. Do you know the three ways to survive in a ruined world, or did Ocean Vuong say it already and you simply refused to clock it and let it travel inside you like a missile that hit Vietnam all those decades ago?

This is the risk I incur. So now I evoke all those who have aided in my survival. I know I am not alone. Do you know why there was not 1 dragon leftover, in ATLA? Because if there was one left, it would not have come out of its cave. It would have stayed there, forever, until it perished. So Zuko's uncle made sure there were 2. Am I understood, or do you see that when I open my mouth and see red, every color of life is evoked? The sun god folks in that iconic scene know exactly what I am talking about. It is why they keep the original fire burning for thousands of years, and this is why one of them looked at Zuko and joked about the masters (real) chewing him up, and their leader said shut up but did not say he was wrong. Because he wasn't.

Their leader does something nice here, which he is by no means obligated to do, but does, because he knows he is not free to abandon it like the sleeper agents have: hey, you might die if you do this. Will you still do it?

That is the risk you incur by coming after me. I make enemies. But first, because I am an dragon originating of the East Asians: I know exactly who my friends are, first. All I ask is for you to not act stupid.

If you insist: well. When the LONG opens its maw, you will be right to be terrified. Why do TIGERS have teeth if not to use them? Praise the knife that goes through the PEAR for you, or you will not eat well tonight, and if you do: know that it will not last.

Karma simply does not come quick enough. That's A-OK. The universe prefers slowness. So now I dance. I gave to it my sixieth spiritual death and it has finally snickered instead of dragging my face through the fucking dirt, asking me to open my mouth and taste the worms which dance in the rain with their entire bodies. It's why they writhe. Now when I laugh it laughs through me and seems genuinely pleased. But what I care about most is this: that I have gotten so good at what I need to do, and what i Want to do, that Nanami Kento now merely inclines his head and walks beside me. And this: that Toji merely glances an eye at me and lifts his chin, smiling, crazed at the edge of pleased, and asks me anyway, despite full knowing in all his rage and all his cool dead & dying & disabled body discernment: hey, how are we gonna fuck em up today?

Treacherous cunt.

I am not a spiritual person. I've merely died spiritually enough times for me to have to use the academic word for it. In me I have, first: the people who saw and shielded me - second: the people who taught me, dancing to their own survivals. I am the friend of Bob. The one who told me to keep writing. Bob, I am proud, and I know you are proud of me. Hey, hi, hello.

This is my dream. My friends are a dream. All of them are. One by one they have stood, and they have stood alone, and now I am there beside them.

I honor all those who aid in my survival. Face me when you shoot me in the fucking face. This is why union leaders are assassinated in their beds, with pregnant people right beside them. This is why small children in the first formally livestreamed eradication campaign call the men in tanks cowards, and mice, because that little girl was just that fun, that interesting. This is why Sugimoto Saichi, at the very beginning of his story/dance, he hesitated when that wounded animal came out and charged him, desperate and mobilized with all its might to clear a path to its survival. Because he saw and he understood in less, but it was still too late. So that is why Asirpa said let me take the shot next time, if you can't do it - in fact, don't even try. For we need heat to survive the winter. Dragons of the East are interested in one thing, and that is people, not god. We come when called. We come when uncalled. It is why we show ourselves when people of a land need rain. 's also why we show ourselves when people of a land don't think they need shit. Do you understand the level of discernment required to do this? My judgement is not divine. I don't give a rat's shit about God. Wanna guess what I give a shit about?

A rat's ass.

But just so you don't the wrong idea, because that is what personally pisses me off the most: I don't believe in God, but I believe in you.

How is this possible? Because I had a parent, and in her, she was a dragon, and she has evoked it enough times, at all the critical moments, for me to follow her example. I will incur the risk now. I have always taken risks, because I've seen what it takes to safeguard and then nurture and then, perhaps, cultivate a life. I was born into the year where dragons have danced and they saw me and I have seen them, and you really should be thinking about Zuko not being stricken down by the last 2 dragons of his time by now. My father is a rabbit - he knows how to respect the world, so that he is to be respected if he cannot be loved. And he still chose to care for me, a weakling. He still chooses it: for we played a poker game, just once, after majiang, and he saw how I dealt my last card and thus understood my entire play and he looked me in the eye when he said:

Don't do that again.

So now I incur the risk. Because I know the cost of what it means to survive in a place like this. The world. The world. People get hurt here.

Duh. Richard Siken is needed no longer. He has said what has needed to be said. He writes, and I write too. I pick it back up, the dead thing at the end of the road. Because in order for it to be dead, it must have been killed.

So I will incur the risk. You are welcome to join me. The time to wait has been over since the first people(s) said, fucking shit fuck help! help! and nobody came, or if they did, they still ended up dying anyway.

i have never been interested in living forever. people who do are interested in having fun. the rest are idiots. the people who have fun usually die first - it is why aang's entire people was eradicated from this earth, from that fiction lifeworld. so now i find it more interesting when the people who have the most fun don't die - and that is why Toji of JJK is ketamine to people. from everywhere. from all walks of life. do you want to know why JJK is popular now, everywhere? I will tell you why now. Because I am being nice, and I am interested in your surviving, your continuous survival, your real tunes. Because I would prefer to be your friend rather than your enemy, but you make your choices, and I will make mine.

Here it is the truth: it is because JJK is interested, at least initially, in what it would look like to wield overwhelming power responsibly, which is to say: meaningfully. It is why Gojo is Japan's animation poster boy right now. He always did like to fuck around and find out. And he found out, didn't he - he found out that his own creator gave up respecting his principles to serve franchise interests, the grinding acceleration of that kind of selected - and chosen - giving in. It is a death. I have grieved it.

Now I stand here, alone.

Now I ask : who is interested in seeing Gojo Satoru still alive, even knowing that he has failed in his task to do what he said he did? Is it because of him, as a character, as a person who lived within the narrative, or is it because of the narrative that either enables or disables his real and true living?

One of the oldest people in my life said this to me recently: I personally believe that there are no shitty characters. Only a story that no longer suits them.

Will you be a story that I can live in?

Or will you be a story that makes me want to come after you and demonstrate to you, selectively, intimately, how you have betrayed me?

Will you, or won't you?

Kong Si-Woo is calling me now. Sorry. Bye. Gong Si-U is the best negotiator I know, and he's telling me to take a break. You can't solve everything by your self, he is saying. That's why you pick your men carefully. And he has chosen. Do you know who he choose?

He chose Toji.

Toji survived after he left the torture pits in that family clan of his.

First, he ended the life of every cursed beast in the family's torture pit to relish the fact he could do it, perfectly alone. His solitude earns the survival of Zenin Maki, and thus the survival of her sister, Zenin Mai.

Second: he met someone who was curious about him there, also perfectly alone in one of the most inhospitable places alive, already similar by then, and earned his respect, unyielding for some reason not known to him, personally, but his ass is shown to me because I have tapped it and I liked the sound that came back.

This is because Kong Si-Woo and Toji have a 10-year history. Adults at that age, making new friends? Color me delighted.

Third: in earning the Korean man's respect: he earned the capacity for real trust, the kind that marks actual fucking solidarity. And then Toji, scorned Japanese man he is, lived for 10 more years with Kong Si-Woo near him and by him, because these are men who when they are killed will live on, until Toji fucked around and found out for the last time --- until, of course, the story itself brings him back to meet his grown son.

Now I ask you: will you be respected, or will you be interested in what real enabling, at all costs, looks like?

Will you give a shit the way Toji does, or will you give a shit the way Nanami does? Will you move the way Sugimoto does, or will you simmer quietly like a jar of moss like Qingming, pirated Dream of Eternity: Yin-Yang Master, softspoken and brutal in his withholding? Will you have fun like Satou Samuel Owen, or will you earn the respect and thus relieve the responsibility of Nagai Kei, at age 17, willingly took on because he saw clearly the danger Satou posed to every normal person alive on the planet, and decided for himself that he would end it now.

Will you be tortured like Suzaku Kururugi, so complete, fans of Code Geass feel it even today, or will you take decisive action to bring the very structures of the Jiujutsu Sorcerer's World down by disavowing the only child you've named for blessing, just so he could have a headstart?

Which character will you relieve of their responsibilities? Can you tell who needs it the most? Do you know what I'm saying here? I am saying I do not need Nanami Kento anymore and he has never needed me to speak. This is because he died in Shibuya, and I am glad he did, because Gege Akutami's writing abilities did too. I would not have survived the Nanami's badly written death the way I could survive Gojo's. Gege must have detected this in some way: he must, even with his franchise of an empire, because even a franchise of an empire comes from people: because he waited to kill Gojou, because he knew everybody seemed to like him, and genuinely love him, in many many lands, and what he did was brutal, and it was genuinely cruel: he bisected Gojou in half instead of blowing a hole through him despite putting him in Toji's killer fit.

It means Akutami was done with Gojou's character, and discarded his personhood, and gave his fans and comrades and enemies crumbs. Enemies of Gojo savored it: but they understood its brutality, and rejoiced because finally the biggest dick did win, as they foretold, because they foretold the death cult that is global racial capitalism, because they have survived, and they don't want anybody else to except for themselves, and their friends, of course. Even our enemies have friends. What does this tell you: it means everybody has the capacity to understand tragedy. Indeed, Everybody else simply understood it for tragedy. Now there's nothing wrong with a nice tragedy.

But is it interesting? Toni Morrison looked me in the eye in one of her interviews and I will tell you what she said to me: she said once you have gotten the jobs you have all trained so beautifully for, you must now go and free someone else. This is not a grab-bag candy game.

Now here's the thing about TRUE FICTION: AND TRANSFORMATIVE FICTION: we can bring him back.

I will do it. Anyway, I will do it. Why? Because I know what it takes to complete a story and respect a character's personhood. Because I learned how to draw first, and then I figured out how to write. Each time, it was a person who bestowed it to me. So now I read Dungeon Meshi and trill with delight. Now she gets it. So now I reread DOROHEDORO!!! Now this one too, she knows it. So now I follow Witch Hat Atelier, not only interested but believing in its conclusion: for Shimomura knows exactly how to dance to make her people dance, too. This is a skill.

Will you dance. You. Hey. Hello. I ask you now: Will you fucking dance? If so, come here. I protect all other/Othered animals. But first, you must show me your teeth, and then second, you must make it known to me you are not my enemy. For I am not god. I am merely a person born into dragon year. So now whenever I open my mouth, I do it knowing the whole world will listen. I stand alone, and I will go unheard, or I won't, and then: I will either be killed, or I will change people along the way. I don't mind either results. Because right now, Tosaki, the man with the mints and the cigarette and the crisp white suit, from Ajin: DEMI HUMAN is my favorite fucking character.

He dies at the end, by the way. He dies with no regrets. I seek to follow him.

Hey - Aaron Bushnell. I evoke your name to evoke your death, because your last words were Free Palestine and you chose to do it, standing there, perfectly alone, despite wanting to become a software engineer, transitioned out of active duty.

You have done your duty. I got it from here. I will not fail Hind Rajab again. Trust me, I won't. You plug it in right by me, or I will know. Now isn't that the real fun?