#don't I look good tho tbh

[cowardlykrow]

"That is where you are wrong, my boy!"

@ratb4stard3 and I deliver another Cowardlyghostbro's(™) collab ✨💛

[bacchuschucklefuck]

and! barbarian!fig! its her

[azaracyy]

a lesson on good karma digimon survive week 2024 day 4: supporting characters

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 18: Balls (Bullet Train)

Sometimes (oftentimes) it's true that all you need are Balls. I personally absolutely love Balls. I'm a big fan! Ekhem. Today I'm using the help of (I mean, copying most of the passages from it) my earlier Balls rant that I have written down after my first listen of it back in January. I really love this album and I don't want to completely skip over saying a couple words on it at least but I really don't think I have the headspace to write anything very good for it today. I'll still try though!

So yeah, Balls. It's a great album, fun and chill (in my sense of what I call and consider chill anyway), consistent, as Sparks albums tend to be, and as I suspected / hoped it does fit this specific vibe of driving around at night somewhere city-like and illuminated. Or being on a train deep at night and looking at the world zooming by (if you'd even see much of it on a train at night anyway.....). And I do think that it's not so dissimilar to Gratsax (I'd say now that it's definitely darker and moodier than its predecessor...). So it's interesting to think about how it's considered to be one of the "weak" ones (by music reviewers at least) while Gratsax is so beloved in comparision.

I will admit, I don't really know what the big problem with this album could be. As I said, it's fun, it has the melodies, it has the energy, it has the theatricality (I like seeing how more and more orchestral instruments such as strings are being incorporated into the music, in a way the jump into Lil' Beethoven two years later doesn't come of as THAT much of a shock because of this. The evolution of sound here is fascinating!) I really like the intense beats, just as much as the more laid-back and moodier pieces. And there's lots of gold to be found in the lyrics department as always.

One more thing I wanna say is that at some point I wondered if this music sounds older than it is. Maybe it does? But then I remembered that this was 2000 and honestly when I think about it, there just IS something about this album that fits so well with the Y2K image and vibe and all. Sparks 2000 and all that.

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Balls: I mean. It's Balls.

Scheherazade: absolutely LOVE this one and I had the strangest impression of it sounding very familiar when I first heard it. Months later I found out that it was just briefly featured in TSB so I think that explains it (I will talk more about my TSB viewings on TSB day. EVERYTHING has to be explained in excruciating detail, lmao)

The Calm Before The Storm: bugsonas 4ever. Song itself is amazing too

How To Get Your Ass Kicked: how can a song about getting your ass kicked be so pleasant and relaxing, it always keeps cracking me up, how perfect that is actually

Bullet Train: I love it how introducing the topic of the song with a "It's the [topic of the song]" is a reoccurring theme on this album. Thank you Sparks for this ode to technology and art (these lyrics always have me giggling). And also it just goes hard as heck

It's Educational: a perfect fusion of / sequel to I Thought I Told You To Wait In The Car and Progress (it's mostly the vocal delivery that reminds me of the latter)

The Angels: such an odd one here but I still like it a lot, I apparently said that it sounds "surprisingly mainstream for Sparks but somehow in a positive way". It's very sweet and I absolutely love how Russell sings here, it's so different from what we're used to but that only makes it hit you even more in the feels, lol. And I actually prefer the alternative version of this song that's featured as a bonus track, and I do think that's in big part because you can hear Russell better on it (or that was my first impression of it at least and it kind of stuck)

[startswith0]

There's beauty in following a manga series for a long time, and it doesn't have to be decades either, mangaka artstyle can change in one or two years

[nach0]

isat oc ref sheet! i ripped the profile page off mirabelle's and just edited it a bit, worked out well since she already had immune to time craft on hers

they keep to themself mostly, only coming out of their study to stargaze or run social experiments about the isla- hey wait what's happening to my ref what are you-

SECRET SECOND REF SHEET!

you thought this was a new oc, but it was the realmleaper, existing oc, the whole time!!

technically this particular one is for a noncanon timeline (aka i wanted to throw foxglove at them and see what happens) but i like this design so much i might readjust one of their stops to be similar enough this works again

why the type switch? it's more for full dragon form tbh, hard to fight holding a tiny book when you're bigger than a horse, much easier to use claws instead. it also brings over a mechanic from SASASAAP, typeless attacks! aka blast of fire directly to face

this post is long enough but send asks about them if you would like and i will happily talk about them/ their story/ their story in terms of isat specifically

[articularreview]

⚠️Spoilers for Shinrei tantei Yakumo - the lamenting doll file 03 and the epilogue⚠️

Here in case you missed it

I just read it and spontaneously wrote this.

Be careful if you haven't read it yet.

The file starts with where it left off the last time with them deciding to locate Mahiro's mother.

I kinda forgot about it since we haven't seen Isshin for a while, but this volume reminded me of how much Yakumo is influenced by Isshin. Be it the way they talk or sometimes even their mannerisms.

It's pretty much a given that they'll have to stay another night at the hotel but that would mean Haruka will have to stay in that creepy ass room again. Isshin really told Yakumo “accept the situation or sleep with her”😭😭😭

But sadly It's just like Gotou said, Their relationship label won't allow it smh

Gotou's snores and Isshin's bad posture are KILLING ME. My mom entered the room while I was having a fit of laughter I just looked crazy to her 😭

Isshin is so chill he doesn't care if you try to make him look bad. Rather his hilarious responses made Gotou look silly for complaining. Poor Gotou-san. Maybe I should learn from him... Unbotherement sure is powerful~

Anyways I guess that means Yakumo is the only one who sleeps normally hahaha

Just like I expected, Mahiro's death is weighing Hiromi down. kinda knew it from file 02, but hearing the details from Masae made me want to cry. No parent should ever go through this.

And so they split into two teams: team Gotou and Yakumo. and team Haruka and Isshin. All I'll say is that the latter team sure is a good match.

And then we have Gotou-san who not only has to put up with Yakumo's comments but also got a Salary cut too!! He suffered too much this trip. Imagine wanting to skip work only to get dragged all the way to a whole different prefecture. Still kinda his fault for ignoring Ishii smh.

Speaking of Ishii I'm happy he and Makoto were mentioned even though they didn't make an appearance. Isshin's mere presence made up for any other character's disappearance. Kaminaga-sensei is a genius for mentioning Eishin too. I think references like that will increase in the complete version. Knowing the future and the direction of your work sure makes a big difference. It was really interesting knowing that Eishin was the one taking care of Nao when Isshin's not around. Nao must really miss Isshin even if she doesn't show it on her face. I head canon afterwards Nao being overjoyed to see not only Isshin but Yakumo and Haruka too after his two-day disappearance.

The scene when that madman dragged Haruka gave me the chills. Kaminaga-sensei using TTCM as a reference sure was brutal I ended up imagining it. Haruka did her best till the very end but the situation was hopeless. She can't even resist. her mouth, legs and wrists were taped. And on top of that he had the audacity to slap her! How dare him! If that man wasn't charged with attempted murder after all this I'm throwing hands!

In the end the case was solved and we find out that Takahiro-kun was the one talking to Hiromi all along. It really broke my heart knowing that all this time he didn't even know he was dead and yet played along to try to comfort Hiromi who was mourning for her child. What a strong kid. He and Mahiro are.

The lamenting doll huh... makes sense.

In the epilogue we learn that Yakumo can't handle hot food which I thought was really cute.

Tbh his whole food preference was quite unexpected. First we learn that he has a sweet tooth (Which Haruka thought doesn't suit him at all lol) and then a similar situation to the one in the epilogue happened in vol. 7 iirc when Yakumo was (again) staring at the sake and when Haruka asked if he can't drink he stubbornally tries to only to spit it out. This man just can't be honest😂 I actually really respect men who don't drink or smoke so that's a flex~

Now some of my favorite Yakumo lines which for some reason all happen to be verbally abusing Gotou (Can't blame Haruka for laughing because c'mon how could you not?)

• “You can say that because you've never heard it yourself. Compared to Gotou-san's snores, even a train would be quieter.”

• “A member of the police stating that he'll be driving under the influence? Japan is finished.”

• “I'm saying bears can't understand the taste of wine. What if someone made up a new proverb: bears and wine.”

• "I don't want to waste any more calories than this."

• "Well, that's not surprising. A bear with damaged taste buds such as Gotou-san will never understand."

Bye I'm using these irl.

I'll also add these two because I keep remembering these two exchanges and laughing:

1)

"I see. If you don't want to, it's fine. But please stop bringing cases to me from now on."

"This and that are a different story."

"No, it's the same thing. Ah, that's right. So that Gotou-san will stop bringing me cases, I'll be reporting to the police that you've been leaking investigation details to a civilian."

"What!? Don't joke with me! I'll get fired if you do that!" Gotou shouted in panic.

"Good then. That way I won't have to involve myself in cases that have nothing to do with me, and taxpayer money won't have to go into paying the incompetent Gotou-san; just like killing two birds with one stone."

"What did you say!?"

"Isn't that great? This way, Gotou-san can also play around to your heart's content. So it'll be more like killing three birds with one stone," said Yakumo, grinning as he looked at Gotou.

He really stabbed where it hurt. Having been commented like that, Gotou wouldn't have a way to refuse. "Fine. I'll help. Happy?"

Gotou lifted his heavy bottom up from the sofa reluctantly as he sighed. Yet Yakumo wasn't done with his counterattacks.

"Not really, it's fine even without Gotou-san helping."

"That wasn't what you said earlier!"

2)

"Sorry about that. Could you please tell me what I should do?" Gotou asked formally while swallowing his displeasure.

"You should know if you listened to the story,"

"I'm asking because I don't know."

"You should have if you paid close attention to the whole story."

"Well I don't know!"

"Is that something to be proud about? Good grief.”

Too much Yakumo😂

Volume 11 is up next. I'm really really excited for this one because Unkai and Miyuki are one of the best antagonists I've ever read. I'll never forgive them for what they did to Yakumo but their back stories are very very well written and explains how they ended up that way. That last arc will wrap everything up. I remember reading the book description a while back but Laute's translations stopped at the time so I thought I'll never read it.

The day has finally come!!!

[silusvesuius]

g*lmar rly has to be the best skajrim character on the real like even if you don't like him he just is . literally The best one i think......... on dat note i also imagine that he and ulfr*c despite being fairydust BFFs for lyfe genuinely have the worst communication skills ever seen

[evilkitten3]

someone's been liking a lot of my old posts relating to my attempts to rewrite fairy tail.... which, and this may astound you, is not actually a cancelled project in spite of the fact that it's been nearly a decade since i first started trying to figure it out

[microwave-core]

Memento Mori

Diantha x Fem! Reader

In retrospect, perhaps there was a reason why Kalos’ champion was missing when the region seemed to need her the most.

It should have been simple. It should have been any other day. The morning was simply divine, as Fletchlings perched on the open window sills and tree branches, singing their wonderful, off-beat tune as you woke and got up like usual. Morning tea and casual conversation with your love followed through like always, as she told you about a new café she wanted to try, telling you to meet her there at noon for a short and sweet date, trying to squeeze in as much time together as possible while working around her jam-packed schedule. 

You parted like always, wishing her luck for the on-coming day, at least until noon passed, where you could renew that wish of luck again until she came home in the dark of night, where you’d revel in each other’s presence until the morning came, where everything would happen all over again.

Perhaps it was a bitter sweet cycle, as each meeting meant an eventual parting, where you would be separated for far too long for either of your likings, but every parting meant you’d eventually meet again. (You’d call that kind of prose overly dramatic, but perhaps that's just in your lover’s nature.)

Lunch dates throughout Lumiose were relatively common for you both, so preparing for them was as second-nature to you as preparing in the morning, and so was the struggle to find the dreaded place she’d ask you out to. It seemed like you were always a bit late to these meetings, but she never minded. Not everyone is well equipped to traverse such similar looking streets on the daily, after all.

It seemed like, no matter how hard you tried, you could never get there before her, always taking a wrong turn somewhere along the line. So when you arrived at the given destination with her nowhere in sight, you immediately felt off. You checked the address she had texted to you, ensuring that this was the right place. Maybe you had just gotten lost again, and ended up somewhere else?

Yet it was correct. You were here, so where was she? You approached the barista and asked if they had seen your love (average height, dark gray hair in an elaborate up-do, blue eyes… you held back on asking by name, not wanting to draw attention to you both), but nothing. So you sat down, thinking that maybe she was just running a bit late. Maybe she had reshoots that went longer than expected, or maybe a challenger arrived just as she was leaving.

You check the address one, two, three times more before texting her. If she was running late, you didn’t want to hound her, didn’t want her to feel bad about not being on time, but if something was wrong… Surely, everything was fine, surely, but… what if it wasn’t? She had never been late before, and, knowing Diantha, she surely would have texted you if something held her up.

…You could always just, you know, check her location. She never turned the setting off, and, even if it felt a little dirty and the slightest bit intrusive, it could be excellent reassurance. You could just take a quick peek, see she was at work or the league or on her way over, and your nerves would be sated, and you could gently tease her when she arrived, just as she’d tease you. Yes, it would be worth it, and you most definitely weren’t just stalling in the hopes that she would arrive and take the seat across from you while your eyes were glued to the screen.

But how odd… It seemed that she was in Lumiose, but at the opposite end, in a different cafe, stationary… maybe you did just get the address wrong. Despite checking over and over and over again, maybe you did just misread something, and she was waiting for you patiently. Yes, that had to be the case, and whatever unease had settled in the pit of your stomach was misplaced, despite it remaining as you stood up and left.

Everything would be fine, and the air of wrong hanging over you like an ever-darkening sky threatening to unleash a torrential downpour at any moment, would clear when you saw her face. It didn’t matter that every step felt heavier, it didn’t matter that she was radio silent, and it certainly didn’t matter that your phone threatened to snap under the ironclad grip it was held in as you sat in a cab.

Stepping out, your eyes immediately spot it: a glaring red exterior nestled within the alley. You have to fight the urge to stay seated, as the fear settled betwixt your bones wanted to keep you anchored down. Perhaps you would have given into that desire if it weren’t for the odd look the driver gave you as you remained seated in his backseat for far longer than necessary, which promptly got you up on your feet along with a healthy tip and rushed apology.

Deep breath, everything is going to be fine. Diantha had mentioned this place to you before. She knew the owner, apparently, which wasn’t too out of the ordinary for her, but she had never brought you here despite that. Looking back, maybe she was actively pushing you away from this place in fear of… something or other happening, but maybe you’re just being paranoid, overthinking.

The door, regularly propped open during operating hours as is the same for every cafe in the area, was slightly ajar, with light spilling out into the alleyway, the space of which darkened from looming buildings overhead despite the bright sunlight beaming down from above. She’ll be there, everything will be fine.

Walking in, you internally remark about the… odd decorative choices. The red walls and flooring and tables and… everything, really, certainly matched the outside. The cabinets behind the counter, devoid of employees, did seem to contain rather high quality goods, so perhaps the sophisticated aura they oozed was supposed to smooth over the feelings of unease brought on by the environment. The cabinet at the back of the room contained similar, eye-catching items, although they did seem a bit out of place, as if it had been jostled recently. 

The cabinet also looked too far over to the right, casting a shadow just to the left that appeared to be a gaping void, a doorway tunneling further into the unknown… You step forward, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand, peering further into the wall to tell if you were out of your mind or if the darkness was a genuine doorway leading further into the building.

Perhaps now was the time to finally address the alarm bells blaring in your mind that you’ve ignored up until now. This place couldn’t be normally. Odd stylistic choices aside, a cafe that’s completely empty during peak operating hours with an ominously dark open doorway in the back couldn’t be normal. Maybe if you listened to your instincts sooner, you wouldn’t be standing here, in a strange cafe that suddenly seemed darker than when you walked in.

Maybe, if you took care to trust your gut, you wouldn’t have been subjected to a heavy blow to the back of the head, out cold before you could even hit the tile below.

A sudden, burning feeling washing over your body shakes you awake. When or how you fell asleep was beyond you. Maybe you had fallen asleep in the back of the cab, and all of this business with a dominatingly red building was just a strange dream. A cab driver likely wouldn’t violently throw you out of their back seat, though, and it wouldn’t have left you feeling so weak and drained.

And, if that had been the case, Diantha wouldn’t be leaning over you, yelling at someone in the distance. Her hair disheveled, the pristine nature of her clothing sullied by wrinkles and dust, and her expression panicked, not that you could make her out all that well. The figure at the end of the darkly tiled room, imposingly large and red… or maybe orange, it was hard to tell, seemed to be looking in your direction, but you couldn’t make out his face. 

You felt like you were being held underwater. Your vision was blurred, taking in your surroundings as blobs and splotches of color rather than finely defined shapes. And everything sounded as if it were miles away, like a distant echo in the background, where you can feel how loud the voices must be without being able to make out any of their words.

All you knew for certain was the terrible pain racking through you, and the gentle touch of Diantha, as if trying to soothe the discomfort in your veins. The words flying out of her mouth were panicked and resentful, a combination of emotions that you’ve never heard from her before.

The bleariness long set into your subconscious prevents you from paying attention, prevents you from piecing together what was happening. How long you’ve been here, where here was, and why Diantha was here, cradling you gently, were beyond your realm of understanding at this point.

Her eyes dart down to your ever-crippling form, eyes widening as she realizes that you're somewhat conscious, almost as if she thought you’d never wake. She clutches you closer, curling around you as best she could, breathing unevenly as she mumbles out half a dozen curses and swears, simultaneously cursing out those who brought you harm and pleading to whatever forces may be above to help. The man she was yelling at seems to have all but vanished.

“My love? Can you… can you hear me?”

She pulls away ever so slightly, just enough to look you in the eyes. From this close up, you can make out her expression. Her face is a mix of terror and relief, as the makeup on her eyes, the elegant eyeliner and eyeshadow, appears to have been smudged, although it’s clear the tears welling up in her eyes have yet to fall. You can only nod in response, as the words on your tongue die as they pass your lips.

“Good, that’s good. You should save your strength, love, just focus on me, alright? Everything will be alright.”

Diantha wasn’t convinced by her own words. She had no idea how long you had been here, or how Lysandre and his incredulous goons managed to get their hands on you, but they did, and they knew full well what kind of leverage they had when you fell into their laps. That didn’t matter right now, though. 

It was her duty to protect the region, to prevent Kalos and her people from being harmed. It’s how she was roped into this dreaded place. She should have taken action sooner, made an effort to snip Team Flare in the bud before they got out of hand. Too bad it took you getting mortally injured to realize that…

She takes one of your hands in her own, although the grip isn’t quite comfortable due to the clamines of your skin. You didn’t realize that Diantha’s hands were stained red, having been dyed by the angry gashes lining the back of your neck and head, nor did you realize how it had seeped into her clothes. 

Pressing a kiss to your cold lips, she lets out a shaky sigh, trying her best to stay calm and composed while gently pressing her free hand to the back of your head. She didn’t want to inflict any more harm to your already sensitive wounds, but she had to at least try to stop the bleeding, even if you’ve lost so much blood already.

“Just keep your eyes open for me, alright? Stay with me as best you can.”

“...I’m sorry.” Your voice comes out raspy, quiet, forcing out the words to be as fully formed as possible instead of letting them collapse into gibberish. Simple words were never so difficult to say before.

“No, no, don’t apologize to me right now. None of this is your fault, if anything, it’s mine. I should have told you I couldn’t make it instead of assuming I had time.”

Technically the truth, not that either of you knew it. If she had texted you to say she couldn’t come, even if she didn’t say why, you wouldn’t have stumbled into the boss of Team Flare’s cafe to be bludgeoned over the head and thrown to the feet of the champion to debilitate her, cripple her emotionally to get her off of their backs.

“That doesn’t matter right now, love. All that matters is that we’re together, okay? It’s just you and me right now, it’s safe.” You nod again, leaning further into her touch, although it’s difficult to move. Despite the pain, you feel somewhat serene. Diantha’s warm touch against your skin felt wonderful, and her words felt oh so comforting despite her worried and hushed tone. Perhaps you simply hadn’t realized you were resting upon death’s door, or maybe you had already accepted that it was knocking.

“It’s going to be okay, alright? Everything is going to be o-kay.” Her voice cracks, as tears begin working past her eyes.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, I love you, things are going to be alright. Me and you, we’re going… we’re going to be fine. We’ll get you out of here, and we’ll, we’ll…” She’s cut off by a sob, words turning into baselass rambling, filled with “i love you” and “everything will be fine” over and over and over again till words start to slur together,, or maybe you were just becoming less and less coherent. 

You close your eyes slowly, paying attention to Diantha and Diantha alone, knowing that everything would be alright. You would slip into an abyss of sleep, and you would see her again whenever you would wake. 

“It’s going to be fine, Diantha… everything will be fine.”

You can’t help but smile despite Diantha’s pleas, begging you desperately to keep your eyes open, to stay with her for longer, as your hand goes limp in her hold.

[quirkle2]

I was wondering if there are any rare happy ritsu moments in ur zombie au since hes always miserable I think,, like is he always miserable or is he happy/not miserable and feeling kinda good sometimes?

VWHDGDGD NO YEAH OFC HE'S HAPPY SOMETIMES im just horrible and enjoy putting him through misery

ive never been able to get a genuine smile to look right on his face in my art style either i think thats part of it. as ive said his face is just built to be mildly uncomfortable and bothered and i lean into it sm it's starting to get kinda funny

but yes ritsu is happy plenty! i think, canonically, he just seems like the type of person to me that tends to turn lemonade back into lemons. he's easy to scare and his first reaction to things is often Dread and Anxiety. he dwells on the negatives a lot and seems to be a "hope for the best, expect the worst," kinda guy, but there's a section in this post abt shigeo always loving the little things in life, and ritsu steadily learns throughout the journey on how to do that and how healing it can rly be. even if he had to grow up too fast during this whole thing and learn things a kid should never have to, the journey also gave him some good insight and lessons in other places! ritsu is smart, he figures it all out

in terms of little things here n there he's the happiest lil guy on the planet when he finds one of his favorite foods—swings his legs while he sits and munches on a kitkat bar like he's got absolutely nothin in the world to worry abt. sometimes mob does smth funny that he laughs at; for the longest time i've had this silly image in my head of mob accidentally knocking down a bucket from a store shelf and it lands on his head and he just kinda stands there and makes noises.when the noises continue out of pure curiosity about the weird echoey quality it's giving them ritsu cannot help but lose it

besides tiny things tho, when tome comes around ritsu in general is a lot happier, just cuz he has somebody to talk to that will actually respond in some way. they're sorta reluctant partners in crime at first (at least on ritsu's end) but over time and over bonding they grow to rly like each other's presence. they bicker constantly but it's almost always fond eventually, and they shove each other and playfight until mob gets antsy enough to get worked up about it. rly, tome is a godsend to ritsu's mental health—after months and months of being effectively alone with his thoughts, he finally has another person to converse with. a person His Age, too!

tome is rly good at knowing when ritsu is thinkin himself into oblivion and she's Also rly good at being the most annoying girl on the planet to yank him outta that and replace any misery with Oh My God Get Off Me You Freak. she doesn't even do this on purpose at first, but over time she learns how to tell when he's thinking too hard and, ofc, she's grown attached and she cares, so she's as obnoxious as possible to lighten the mood

when they find reigen n teru, ritsu gradually gets Much happier still. now that he knows they're safe and the gang is finally back together (and now that there's an Adult present and he can relax a lil and let himself be taken care of) his stress levels r exponentially lowered. having teru back is another instant lift to his mood—im always a big fan of teru and ritsu friendship, and i think adding tome to their dynamic simply makes it more chaotic. truly a trio of the 3 most normal teenagers in existence which will surely bring nothing but good (reigen sweats offscreen)

actually this makes me feel bad for forever torturing him im gonna go draw happy zau ritsus brb ,.,.ok imback <3

[chaddicus]

sorry lol I just agreed with that post so much and it got me thinking tbh. I think a lot of us have gotten into a habit of looking at a story so critically, trying to sniff out plot holes and 'bad writing' in a way that misses the fact that the point of a story is to tell a story. I feel like people forget about suspension of disbelief in their mission to analyze a work sometimes. I do think there is a place for in-depth meta analysis of a work, I think it's just as much a worthy fandom experience as any, and maybe that post wasn't even meant to criticize people doing that sort of thing at all, but I just. I think a lot these days about how much more enjoyment I get out of a thing when I decide to watch or read or play it with the intention of just letting it be what it is and not trying to fucking grade its quality or something. you don't have to rate and review everything you do. sometimes you can go 'oh they could have written this differently. but this isn't that version of the story' and then just carry on and not let that other version of how things could have gone haunt your experience. sometimes you have to go 'wow that was kind of dumb' and then just integrate the understanding that the thing you're watching/playing/reading is gonna be kind of dumb sometimes and keep going anyway. and it won't always work out this way, but sometimes you're gonna get a lot more entertainment and joy out of a thing by doing that than by keeping score in your head of the things it's doing 'wrong' or whatever, and I think enjoying a thing for what it is can be a much better use of your time than criticizing it for what it isn't, you know? we're not all film critics. we're not all book reviewers. we don't always need to give a measurement of the quality of everything we experience. you can just experience it. you know?

[beaversatemygrandma]

Interview. Interview. Oh Another interview. Interview. Interview. Guess what's next? An interview that a manager is like "Today at 2pm sound good?" which I took bc yeah, it was good...

I'm tired.

Now will ANY OF THEM ACTUALLY Call Me Back???

[h0ney8ee]

i stepped on my glasses and now theyre all crooked and loose :(

[ardenrabbit]

I love your fic - A Long and Slow Recovery. It’s so beautifully written and the emotions felt are so palpable. Just wanted to pass along my thanks for writing it!

Completely separate from the fic though- What are your thoughts on the Xianle trio - their break up and slow rebuilding of friendship in the novel. 😁

Thank you so much!!! ;-; I'm really glad you're enjoying alasr! I'm really proud and excited about it!

Ah I think about this a lot! As in, I think about it a lot to try and decide my thoughts lol. I'm actually rereading the whole novel rn to try and get a feel for everyone, especially the trio. I've been REALLY excited to write them.

Summary: I love them, I'm sad for them, and I wish them well. Rambling to follow:

So my opinion right now is I love them. I think Feng Xin and Mu Qing are really interesting as foils as well as just completely independent characters, and I love that Xie Lian can see them in both of those lights too. Neither Feng Xin nor Mu Qing are really understood or given enough credit by anyone except Xie Lian, and I don't know if any of them know what to do with that. The impression that I've gotten is that Feng Xin and Mu Qing don't even really want to understand each other, and that's really sad, but understandable. Feng Xin's straightforward form of loyalty doesn't translate to Mu Qing, and Mu Qing's fear that no one will ever care to see the best in him makes him preemptively prickly and eager to beat them to the punch, and that does not play well with Feng Xin's earnestness.

(I'm trying to figure out Mu Qing, especially. I like him as a character and want to do him unbiased justice while writing him, but he's such a unique, self-contradictory case lol. I've met people with his kind of defensive cynicism before--the "stop pretending to be a good person" mindset in the face of altruism--and I've always been annoyed with them as much as I pity them, but I like that he's such a realistic character in that way. I'm intimidated by the prospect of writing him but I'm looking forward to it.)

The Xianle trio breakup, to me, just shows exactly the differences in FXMQ's approaches to conflict. Feng Xin stays with Xie Lian as long as he does because it's a simple answer to him: he's Xie Lian's bodyguard and Xie Lian is his friend, so Feng Xin will stay because that's what is both honorable and personally loyal. It's the right thing to do, and it looks and feels right. Mu Qing leaves before Feng Xin does because 1) his mother needs him more and 2) he hopes he can help more by gaining power and resources elsewhere, because what they're already doing isn't working. It's the right thing to do, even when it doesn't look and feel right.

So at that point, Feng Xin displays the kind of loyalty that traditionally gets praised because it's shown in no uncertain terms, even when it's not performed in the most enterprising way. By the more cynical, Feng Xin's approach can be seen as short-sighted, naive, or even pretentious, when he's really just honest and incredibly steadfast. "Loyal to a fault" is canonically used to describe him somewhere. Mu Qing's integrity is easier to doubt by most people because 1) his reasoning can be interpreted as selfish, even when he's sincere and 2) his intentions aren't always purely good! He's a flawed person and his reasons for doing things can include pettiness and selfishness within the greater good intentions, but that doesn't discount the good in them, at least to Xie Lian. Even when Mu Qing is looking at the bigger picture, people can interpret that as him being cold and uncaring about the immediate problem, and he gets angry that he's the only person acknowledging the complexity or futility of the situation. Anyway, they both try their best to help Xie Lian Back Then and refuse to see the merit in what the other is doing. I forget exactly how much Xie Lian acknowledges that they're both trying to help, so, rereading lol. But Xie Lian is definitely Not in a good place and is definitely lashing out at everyone by the end, which I'm sure he feels ashamed of later.

And reconnecting and rebuilding the friendship!! When Xie Lian ascends again, "Fu Yao" and "Nan Feng" are sent to help him and of course their generals don't know about it. And Xie Lian sees through them pretty early and just doesn't mention it because he's a little shit (extremely affectionate), but he knows what they're doing and appreciates it. But FXMQ both feel like they've failed Xie Lian and want to make it up to him, whether he knows about it or not. And they have to work together to do it, as much as they hate it, but at least they recognize that they share that much in their priorities. I think that while it's ultimately hopeful and sweet, there's a lot about their reconnecting that's just straight up tragic. I'm assuming that FXMQ both feel so much shame and regret about what happened and how they left him, and now that they have another chance to help, the literal devil (extremely affectionate) walks in and takes their spot as Xie Lian's protector and right hand. I think Xie Lian still feels awkward around them, too, as much as he still loves them. I am really proud of them for talking it out as much as they do in the end, though. I need to reread some stuff to see how much they reconcile by the end and in the extras, but I remember it being a good prognosis.

I guess also, I think Feng Xin sees Xie Lian as someone he's been proud to serve and call his friend, because he believes in Xie Lian's ideals and good heart. Mu Qing, though, doesn't know what to do with this mixture of gratitude and the resentment that comes with being indebted to someone, especially because Xie Lian is the only person who's really shown that he believes in Mu Qing's potential, good intentions, and worth as a person. The classic "stop trying to be a good person, altruist" thing doesn't work on Xie Lian, because he really just IS that good, and I think that makes Mu Qing want to tear his own hair out as much as it makes him love Xie Lian. MQ and FX's opinions of each other, though, wow?? They're so convinced that the other's intentions are insincere (mq saying fx is holier-than-thou, fx saying mx is selfish), up until they're tested and they have to act together. They're competitive against one another, but they also know that they act well as a united front, so there has to be some grudging respect and extremely grudging trust there. It's funny how the breakup has FXMQ as divided, conflicting forces where in present day in the reunion, they're much more cooperative. Despite their issues, they've grown to speak the same language on some level.

Might have some serious errors in here lol, but I don't really think I have any particularly hot takes on the Xianle3. Again, I'm rereading the novel so I can get this stuff right, but pls forgive me if I'm off-base on something.

[born-to-lose]

I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself