#don’t usually spend money on myself but I’m doing it until work & life calms down ~

[jooniez]

got my indigo album and a cute little tinytan joon, I’m so happy!!!! 💓🌦️✨🫧🌷🥺😚

[simplyotometrash]

MC turns into MSheep!

Inspired by the lil anime announcement we got because I love MC still being represented by a lil sheepie~!

As usual, this is gender-neutral reader!MC

It was a total accident. You were just working on your potion project with Solomon. He was helping you with the math of it, mostly, since it was pretty complicated. You had no idea where things went wrong. There was a puff of pink smoke when you added the last ingredient and suddenly Solomon was a giant! Well, actually you were turned into a small pink sheep...

Lucifer:

He didn’t know what to say when Solomon brought you home.

You were a sheep. A tiny sheep. And very pink.

His beloved was a sheep.

Lucifer.exe has stopped responding.

Honestly, give this old man a few moments to take in the shock and let things settle.

Then he’s going to threaten Solomon because who else would have turned you into a fucking sheep?

A tiny voice sounded from the sheep. It sounded like you, only smaller.

“It was my fault. I think. Solomon didn’t even touch my potion ingredients.”

Well, that doesn’t change anything. Solomon had best change you back or else.

And those words shot pure ice through your veins. You knew when your Lucifer got pissed off, his threats were not to be taken lightly.

For the time being, however, you had to live as a sheep.

Lucifer didn’t hesitate to just carry you everywhere. What if you got lost? Or Beel tried to eat you? Or Belphie thought you were a pillow? Or Mammon tried to sell you?

There were too many variables and this old demon just wanted some peace of mind.

So you went literally everywhere with him. You two still talked as normal. You even slept in his room still. 

You promised yourself to help him relax once you were human again. You knew your situation caused a lot of unneeded stress on the poor man.

It took three whole days before Solomon was able to change you back.

But when you were human again you didn’t expect Lucifer to hug you so tightly or give you such a firm kiss. He had missed his human being, well, a human far more than he cared to admit.

But you better make good on helping him relax. I think there’s some grey in his hair now.

Mammon:

Haha, good joke, Solomon! Now, where was his human? Really, where were they hiding?

He was so sure it was a prank and you were taking pictures from the bushes or something.

When you voice sounded from the small sheep Mammon nearly fainted.

What the fuck did Solomon do to his human?! The Great Mammon’s human was a sheep!

You explained your situation and Mammon only grew more jittery.

He was grinding his teeth. He didn’t hesitate, though, to snatch you away from Solomon and hold you like you were the most sacred thing in the whole of Devildom.

“Ya better turn them back! I can make money at the casinos so name the price!”

Oh he was serious. Mammon was willing to pay good Grimm just to turn you back.

And Solomon, after cruel teasing with pricing your return to human at over a million Grimm, said he would do it for free. After all, there was no telling if this would wear off or if it needed to be reversed.

So he would do it. It was a good chance to study your potion recipe and figure out how you fucked up.

Mammon, like his older brother, took you literally everywhere with him. But by everywhere I do mean everywhere. Lucifer at least had the decency to leave you out when he went to the bathroom. Mammon did not.

He was also making sure to keep you away from Asmo, who had fallen for your pink and fluffy form on sight. 

Mammon talked to you like you were still human. He treated like his human.

But he also acted like you would break at any second. He had never been so careful in his life.

He honestly cried on the third day, worried you might be stuck as a sheep. He didn’t know what to do.

Of course, you were turned back by that evening. Solomon had dropped by to check in and the potion naturally wore off.

Mammon hugged you so tight you felt like you were being suffocated.

But he was back to normal the second Solomon joked that he wanted to get paid for his efforts.

Levi:

Once Solomon was able to get into his bedroom, Levi just about fainted at the sight of you.

He wasn’t even skeptical about this.

It was just like the anime “Help I’ve Accidentally Been Turned Into a Sheep and Now I’m Stuck!”. Literally, just like the anime! 

You needn’t worry about anyone trying anything with you while Solomon worked to turn you back, it wasn’t like you would be leaving Levi’s room very much.

You were in his lap almost 24/7 save for when you needed food or to go to the bathroom. Or he needed to do the same. 

His room was a fortress so you were pretty much safe. 

You couldn’t remember the last time you got to spend quite that much time with your otaku. He could be difficult at times, especially when he was playing a game.

You actually relished the time spent as a sheep because of it.

Levi was not-so-secretly getting more and more anxious though. 

He saw the anime! He made you watch it with him in one sitting, too! What if this turned out just like the anime and you never turned back into a human?

The main character in the anime was a sheep for an entire YEAR!

If he had a soul it would have left his body at the very thought.

By the end of the third day you could tell he was totally falling apart.

His partner was a sheep. Probably forever.

With a poof of pink smoke you were human again.

And Levi unconscious because, for some reason, you turned human and had no clothes on.

You just put on some of his clothes for the time being and called Solomon.

You caught a glimpse in the mirror as you were on the phone and told him to keep working on that reversal potion.

You still had sheep fluff for hair, horns, and sheep ears...

Satan:

If looks could kill then Solomon would have been dead where he stood.

The sin of wrath was so pissed off that there was an evil, menacing aura radiating from him.

And it was directed solely at Solomon.

“I don’t even want you working on a way to turn them back. You might be a great sorcerer but I’m going to do this myself.”

He snatched you away and slammed the door in the sorcerer’s face.

No one tried to bother him as he stormed back to his room. 

“I promise I’m going to turn you back, MC.”

He poured over his books and had you give him the potion you had been making. You had to tell every single detail you could remember of what happened leading up to your transformation.

But he didn’t only focus on turning you back.

He couldn’t neglect you being in the room with him. You still brought out the calm within him and made him feel at ease.

When you insisted he take breaks, he would make some tea and give you a straw so you didn’t get tea in your wool.

Like he usually did, he read to you when you wanted to go to sleep. It was even more relaxing holding a warm ball of fluff.

But he barely slept.

He had to figure out a way to turn his favorite person back to normal.

You were still you, no doubt about that, but he missed you being a person. Someone he could kiss and hold hands with. Someone he didn’t have to worry about accidentally crushing or losing because you were so small.

He finally figured it out. He studied your potion recipe for hours on end until he figured out what went wrong. You had been given a recipe that had been “mislabeled”.

Knowing that made it a cinch to turn you back within the hour.

Now to murder the dodgy sorcerer who gave you the recipe for class to begin with.

Asmo:

“Whaaaaaat? MC? A sheep? Oh, darling, you are so cute! And so soft!!”

He canonically loves cute things (did you read the Devilgram story about him taking care of bunnies?) so he was having the time of his life.

And then it hit him as soon as Solomon laughed.

He couldn’t go out on dates with you. He couldn’t kiss you. Or see your stunning face. Your voice wasn’t the same. 

Solomon promised to do what he could to fix this, but it could take a few days.

Did he spend the next hour crying and hugging your fluffy body? Yes, yes he did.

You got him calmed down, reassuring him that it was temporary and there were some perks. He would totally get lots of attention on Devilgram if he posted your pictures! You were pink, his favorite color! You had lots of soft wool he could brush and he could paint your tiny sheep hooves!

That perked him right up.

He spent the next several hours styling your wool, somehow managing to put braids in it. He gave you cute decorative pieces to wear in your wool, painted your hooves to match his nails, and even gave you a little bowtie!

And boy did his Devilgram blow up with attention at the sight of your pictures.

You even inspired his newest clothing designs! Clothing for pets! Devildom didn’t have a cute variety of pet clothes, and while you weren’t a pet, you were very inspiring to look at.

Even pets deserved to look beautiful!

You were so soft to snuggle with but nighttime really made him miss you. Even in an innocent way, he missed skin-to-skin cuddling. It was always so reassuring.

But he didn’t have that.

He managed to get through the days that went by before Solomon finally turned you back.

And he was beginning to wonder if Solomon had drawn out your time as a sheep on purpose.

That didn’t matter, though. Not when he had to take you out on a date!

Beel:

Solomon was holding something soft and fluffy. Was it food? Cotton candy? It looked really sweet and tasty.

“Beel, no, it’s me!”

“MC...?”

He wasn’t happy once the situation was explained. But he didn’t show it. To be fair, he wasn’t the most outwardly expressive of his emotions unless it was necessary.

With Solomon’s promise to return you to normal, he just carried you back to the kitchen with him.

But he wasn’t hungry anymore. Not when his dear human was in a new and unusual form.

It caused him to go into a bit of a crisis, though.

What did sheep eat? What could YOU eat? You were a human in a sheep’s body after all. Did you have to eat what sheep ate or could you still eat your favorite things?

He sat there, staring at the cupboards and fridge, with the most worried look on his face.

To be fair, you weren’t sure either.

And you two stayed liked that until Satan said you could still eat whatever you liked, though it would be best to avoid meat unless it was basically shredded. 

Then came Beel’s next huge crisis: he was terrified of crushing you!

You were so tiny and delicate now, even more fragile than when you were a human.

It took a little convincing but Beel took to carrying you literally everywhere you wanted to go. He loved how soft you were.

Though you didn’t like how often he drooled on you because your fluff looked too tasty. You promised to get him cotton candy once you were a human again, which kind of helped the situation.

Beel even made sure to make everything you ate easy on you! He didn’t want anything to be hurtful to your little sheep body or hard for you to eat!

He didn’t hesitate to help you drink the reversal potion once Solomon got it made, holding his breath until he saw you in your proper state again.

He could breathe easy again. 

Belphie:

What was Solomon carrying? A new pillow or something?

It looked so soft and like it would be a perfect napping pillow.

He wasn’t even listening to anything Solomon had to say, the explanation going in one ear and out the other.

He was focused on going inside to use the new pillow.

Until he heard you talking to him after Solomon had given up on explaining anything.

Now he was mildly concerned. You weren’t you anymore. You were a sheep. He actually listened as you told him your story, unlike with Solomon, and he merely shrugged.

“Well, what can you do? You’ll be normal again eventually.”

You knew your grumpy demon, though. He was worried about you. But Belphie was never good at showing his worry for others unless it was drastic.

True to form, he passed out once he laid down again. You were held against him as if you might disappear while he slept.

It was all the more proof he was worried about your situation.

He still slept most of the time, he was like a cat in that he slept for hours without moving. You had to wiggle free to do anything. No one wanted to wake up to a sheep smelling like piss and you didn’t want a bath.

Belphie whined that taking care of you as a sheep was too much work, but the moment anyone tried to take you from him he immediately got defensive. He even threatened to break Mammon’s hands.

The only one he trusted with you was Beel.

Always sleeping holding your little sheep self did make him realize he wanted a stuffed animal version of you just like that.

It was so nice to snuggle with.

But he missed the normal you. He wanted to have you to lay on or go “star” gazing with. He wanted to do things with you again that weren’t quite possible with you as a sheep.

So he may have gone to find Solomon and threaten him if he didn’t turn you back quicker.

It was all for naught, as he came home to find you curled up in his bed in your human form once again.

He’d wake you up later. For now, he wanted to take another nap with you.

[nojey]

reminiscing (fans 2)

dreamwastaken x streamer!reader

genre: angst pronouns: they / them word count: 2.1k warning(s): failed relationship, cursing

fans (part 1)

synopsis: after taking 6 months off from social media, you finally explain to your fans why you took so long and why you needed it.

go live. *click*

you watched as your chat strolled in and viewer count go up. your computer screen illuminating your face in the dark room as your webcam caught the nervous look. you were shaking your leg up and down, a habit you caught whenever you tried to calm yourself down. 

“hi everyone, it’s been a while since my last stream, huh?” you dryly chuckled. “it’s been about.. 6 months since i last streamed and at this point i think i’ve taken enough time to correctly word how i’m going to tell everyone why i decided to take a break from streaming.” you said looking down at the ground and fiddling with your fingers.

“uh, donation notifications will be off for this stream and chat will be on emotes only because i really just want to focus on getting this out. but if you plan on donating, thank you so much, really, it means the world to me.” you said finally looking at your webcam and smiling a bit. you read a chat and answer, “yes, i’m doing okay. i just have a big announcement i want to say after i tell you guys why i took a break.”

you took a deep breath in and started. “ over a year ago, almost 2, i met this guy through a friend and we started talking. it was very little at the beginning but as little as it was, his texts always made me smile.” you scratched the back of your neck. “and as time went on, we started talking more and more and he just became part of my daily routine. when i woke up i’d see a good morning text from him, we’d spend most of our day being on the phone with each other, i was even on facetime with him most of my streams but i had an airpod under my headset so you couldn’t really see it, i almost always fell asleep on facetime with him. i really fell for this guy.” you fondly smiled, looking at your desk, where your phone used to be propped up and you would see clays face just looking at you.

“then we started streaming together. ‘omg he’s a streamer too’ yeah, and a lot of you probably know who i’m talking about at this point but i still won’t disclose who it is. i uh, got a lot of messages from you guys telling me that i looked super happy that stream and i was. i was always happy when i talked to him. but along with those messages i also got a lot of hate, telling me to stay away from him. it didn’t really bother me because i always get hate when i stream with my guy friends; i was used to it.” you said, taking a sip from your water then wiping the side of your eye as it teared up. 

“and today... i’ll be going on the dream smp! with the man himself, dream. dream, say hi now.” you introduced, you waited a few seconds but was only met with silence. you grabbed your phone and sent him a voice message, “clay! you’re on deafen! introduce yourself!” you screamed into your phone. dream then took himself off deafen and said. “hi (y/s/n)’s chat! i’m dream, i’ll be showing (y/n) around the smp today and we’re gonna get started on their house.” you smiled fondly when you heard him speak. “yeah! what dream said!” 

so you both logged into the dream smp, said hi to sapnap, and dream gave you a tour. you then started building your house in a forest, quite far from everyone else, “i don’t want anyone bothering you or ruining your house when you’re not on.” he explained. you told dream you wanted to build a cottage so if anyone does end up stumbling upon it, it looks welcoming to them. so dream started building your house for you even though you insisted you do it together. “dream! let me help, this is supposed to be my house.” you dragged. “well we can both decorate inside and make it our house.” you started blushing. “i guess..” you mumbled. you then started adventuring out to look for flowers and some things to decorate the house with.

you started placing flowers down into flower pots when you noticed something. “dream there’s only one bedroom.” you mentioned. he slowly turned around to look at you and quickly turned back and placed two beds next to each other. “this is our room, dumbass.”

later that night you checked your twitter dms and saw many people telling you to stop talking to dream and that you weren’t good enough to even know him. you sighed and powered down your phone.

“i think a few weeks after that he asked me if i could fly out to him and we’d meet in person. i was so excited i immediately started packing and i met him. it was amazing! i got to meet the guy i’ve been in love with for the past few months. i think it may have been a year already. but yeah, i finally got to meet him and being in his arms was the best feeling in the world, i felt so safe being with him.”

“it was the day after that, when he asked me on a date and i, of course, said yes. like who would say no to the person they fell in love with... so we went on a date and at the end of it we were just sitting on top of the hood of the car, eating dinner, watching the sunset and talking about a future we wanted together. and it may seem like we were moving fast but i knew 7 months into talking to him that he felt the same way about me. no matter if either of us disclosed it. i could tell and i knew he knew the same about me. then i went home and everything was perfect, i wasn’t his girlfriend yet though because we wanted to wait a bit.”

“that’s when everything went downhill, i think” you looked up to try to stop the tears from going down your face, but they fell anyways so you just let it be.

“we started streaming more and more and i started getting more hate than i usually got, this time getting death threats, people threatening to leak my address if i didn’t stop being friends with him. it was crazy but i was willing to endure it all for him. who cares what people on the internet are going to say to me? i really didn’t because i was happy enough with him that, that happiness overcame whatever type of hate i was getting.” tears kept falling from your eyes but you didn’t bother to wipe it, knowing it would just keep happening.

“dude you’re so annoying! you definitely cheated!” you screamed as you died. through your headset you could hear clay wheezing. “there was no way i was cheating!” he said through his laughs. “ask my chat, they saw the whole thing.” you breathed out, not wanting to believe him till a dono was sent to you, “yeah, (y/n) you just suck at this game,” you gasped, your jaw hanging then you started pouting. it was clipped and one of your viewers sent it to dream. he suddenly started laughing harder and you asked him why he was laughing, with a pout still on your face. “even your chat knows i didn’t cheat!” you started laughing too, till you read a message in the chat saying, “ew, their laugh is ugly. i don’t know why dream likes them.” you stopped laughing but kept a fake smile on your face.

“then he called me and he told me that he didn’t think we should be dating anymore, or even be friends. and i think it was because he saw the hate i was getting and he didn’t like that. he told me a different reason as to why he didn’t think we should date anymore but i didn’t believe it, but i let him go. because i was not going to force him to be with me if he really did mean it. “ you said, sniffling after so you didn’t sound too congested as you spoke.

after you hung up, you curled into a ball and cried. you cried, and cried, and cried. the feeling in your chest hurting more than you could ever imagine. you just lost the guy you wanted to marry, the guy you had spent over a year going to because of your problems, the guys you saw having kids with, the guy that made everything worth it. he was the only person on your mind as the pain in your chest grew. you tweeted and powered your phone off straight after. you didn’t want anyone messaging you asking what was wrong, knowing your friends they would do that. 

“so the reason i took a break from streaming was because of that. because i resented the people that sent me hate so much i couldn’t bring myself to stream. i didn’t resent them because they sent me hate. i resent them because the hate they sent me caused the guy i really wanted to be with to make me believe he didn’t love me like i love him.” now, you were sobbing, letting your cry’s out because you had been holding them in for too long. 

it had been a few months and you were on snapchat, seeing that you had a memory a year ago today, you checked it. “i think i literally met my soulmate.” with a picture of you and clay in a discord call. your breath got caught in your throat and your breathing became labored. your eyes started stinging as the tears started falling. it’s happening again, all the pain from the day you stopped talking to him came back and once again, you were crying into your hands and you couldn’t stop.

“i had always known that becoming a streamer i would get hate, but i never thought that i would get enough hate to prevent a relationship i really wanted to work. now all i do is reminisce of a guy i wish could be mine”

“streaming has brought me so many opportunities and i am so grateful for everything you guys have done for me, and for me to be able to do something i love and make money from it is insane to me. you guys have given me everything i ever wanted in life up until that point and i am so grateful and appreciative of that. you guys gave me friendships that i will never lose and never forget. so many of you have told me that i’ve saved you and changed your lives but trust me when i say you guys have saved me and changed my life too. i hope i repaid you back by making you smile, being your comfort streamer, and being a support system for each of you. but i think this is my end of the road. i fucking love streaming, i love you guys. but every time i click that “go live” button or even try to, all i think about is him and that’s too painful for me right now. maybe in the future i’ll find my way back here but i can’t promise that.”

“thank you guys, so, so, so, so, much for every single opportunity given to me, for everything. i love you all. my dms are still open. and this was (y/s/n), signing off for possibly the last time. goodbye everyone.”

end stream. *click*

a tear rolling down his face and falling onto his keyboard as he watched you finally say goodbye to your stream. it all just felt like you were saying your last goodbye to him again. 

for the last 6 months all clay could do was think about you and how he wished he just messaged you and told you he was sorry and didn’t mean what he said. that he misses you and he would quit streaming if that meant he could be with you. that all he wanted was to feel you in his arms again and just live out the future you two planned together. 

but if you just said goodbye to your chat for your last stream because you couldn’t stand the thought of him whenever you tried to stream. how could you ever forgive him?

the thought of never speaking to you hit him once more and again, he cried, sobbed, screamed, threw things, and even then, he knew.. you would never be coming back to him, with every fiber in his being, wishing you would.

—————

taglist: @loxbbg @bozowrites @noahsfag @sparklykeylime @bi-narystars @axths @cheybaee @letsloveimagines @meatte @julesamen21 @classyunknownlover @bad268 @strawbrinkofdeath

[bnhabadass]

So excited to be sharing my piece for this months bnharem collab!!! The theme for this is, you guessed it, sex worker!au. I am so honored to be writing along with everyone else who put so much time and energy into writing these pieces. Please please please check out their collab pieces here. Everyone has put so much work into these so give them a read through and some warm and fuzzy notes 😊💕✨

Pairing: Touya Todoroki x Reader Genre: NSFW Warnings: Coercion, Dubcon, Anal fingering, Hardcore sex, Deepthroating, Dabi is a Todoroki Word Count: 6,166 Synopsis: Rich ceo Enji Todoroki gives you the offer of a lifetime on one condition. You have to sleep with his eldest son.

Working at a strip club was the last thing you pictured yourself doing after you graduated high school. After graduating and moving into a cheap apartment on the outskirts of town, you decided to start working immediately to support yourself. At first, you first got a job working at a cute little Italian restaurant that paid quite well. Waiting tables helped pay the bills and save up for college a little, but after two years of working at the same restaurant, it unfortunately went out of business.

That was one of your worst months, constantly looking for new work and facing rejection after rejection to the point that you were plagued by the phrase, “not enough work experience.” By the time a month and a half went by of you scoping out newspapers and checking all of the job finder apps on your phone, you had gone through most of your savings.

One of your best friends, after realizing how bad your situation was, decided that it couldn't hurt to see if you wanted a position at the joint she ran.

You were very skeptical at first, since she happened to run an insanely popular erotic dance club (aka, a strip club) in town, but she assured you that you wouldn’t be stripping, just bartending and dishwashing. As soon as she explained everything, you immediately took her up on the offer and decided from then on you would owe Mina Ashido your life.

You were able to pick things up easily, make conversation with customers and become friends with many of the dancers who worked at the club. The only downside to working the job was, well, you’re cute. And that meant you got a lot of unwanted attention from guys who initially came for the strippers.

Mina assured you that if you ever needed to take a step away, that that was perfectly fine. But the attention you got wasn’t so bad, you thought. At least there was a bar counter separating you from the wandering hands and predatory words of these people.

Bartending, while it was enough to pay the bills and save up for some nicer furniture, did not pay as much as you would have liked it to. While you wouldn’t have dreamed of asking your friend for a raise, you still felt somewhat resentful watching the dancers at the club walk home with stacks of cash from tips meanwhile you had to wait every two weeks to get your next paycheck.

You were astonished when, on your twenty-first birthday, Mina offered you a job as a dancer. “A lot of our regular customers have been asking about that ‘cute bartender,’” she said. “And I think you would actually really enjoy it. Plus, it pays a lot more.” She ended that last bit in a sing-song voice, as if that in and of itself would be enough to convince you.

You were tempted to say no, you really were, but you’ve seen how much fun the dancers have and how much money they walk away with every night. You knew next to nothing about stripping or pole dancing, but Mina assured you that she’d teach you and that you’d pick it up fast.

And she wasn’t wrong. After a month of her teaching you how to sway your hips and gyrate your body, dip down and caress every exposed inch of skin with your supple fingers, you were ready to hit the audience with everything you had.

You didn’t realize how much fun you would have as a pole dancer. It was a great form of exercise and you kind of liked having lots of people cheering for you to show off your sexy moves. Plus, walking home with a stack of cash each night was one of the greatest perks it came with.

There was only one rule that you had, which you made abundantly clear to Mina. All you would be doing was pole dancing. No lap dances, no touching the audience, and for the love of god, no sleeping with the audience.

And she respected your wishes, even going as far as asking some customers to leave who have tried to touch you without your consent. She keeps a hawk eye over you and every audience member and their wandering hands. You’re nothing but grateful for everything she has done for you.

After the first few months of pole dancing and wearing revealing costumes, you moved into a new apartment and bought nicer furniture. Things were definitely starting to turn around for the better.

“Hey,” you greeted your fellow coworkers as you made your way into the locker room. The club was about to close up for the night and you were more than ready to flop onto your bed at home and sleep until your next shift. “Have any of you seen Mina?”

The other girls looked around at one another. No one seemed to have an answer for her whereabouts.

“Oh!” Nejire popped up. “I think I saw her talking to some guy in her office. Yeah, yeah. Some big guy wearing a business suit.”

Tsu frowned. “I wonder what that could be about.”

You nodded, a sudden feeling of anxiety washing over you. You really hoped she wasn’t being bought out or something. If she wasn’t the one running the club anymore, or worse, if the club was demolished, you would be surely out of a job.

A knock on the locker room door made you swallow your thoughts. “Is (Y/n) in here?” Mina’s voice rang through the room.

“I’m here,” you piped.

She looked scared, and a bit pale. You don’t think you’ve ever seen her look fearful before, even when dealing with rough customers who refuse to leave the building. “Could you come with me for a sec?”

“Sure.” The anxiety you were feeling was bubbling back in your stomach. “Just let me get dressed.”

“Actually,” her voice was shaking. “If you could come here now that would be better.”

You paused, then nodded and followed her to her office. On the way there, she squeezed your hand, slipping something inside.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. “Please, please forgive me for doing this.”

“Mina, what’s going on?” You were worried. Never in the time that you knew her had she ever been so apologetic.

At her office door, you looked at what she slipped into your hand. A small pink bottle of pepper spray stared back at you. What could she have done that you would need this?

She opened her office door and on the other side, like Nejire said there would be, was a big, beefy businessman clad in a suit that was probably worth more than your rent.

“Mina,” you whispered to your best friend. “What is going on?”

The man turned around and you shrunk at his intimidating appearance. You felt the need to cross your arms and cover up your exposed skin of which there was a lot of. “Hello,” the man bellowed with such a low timber. “You must be (Y/n).”

How did he know your name? What did Mina tell him? Who is this man?

You meekly nodded your head and clutched onto the pepper spray until your knuckles couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Forgive me for not introducing myself first.” He extended a hand. “My name is Enji Todoroki and I am the ceo of Todoroki Enterprises.”

You gulped. What the hell did Mina get herself into? You croaked out an “oh” before extending your hand and shaking his. “That’s nice.” You didn’t really know what to say. Was he considering buying the building from Mina? You looked at her and she shrunk back at your gaze.

“Ashido,” he said with a stern demeanor. “If you would please.”

She nodded and squeezed your shoulder one last time. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered in your ear one last time before leaving the room.

And then there was silence. You took a moment to breathe and look around Mina’s office, find something to calm your nerves with. Her office was usually like a little safe haven for you and the other dancers. She deemed a corner of the room the “zen area” where she set up cushions and a kettle and tea boxes. You stared at the fuzzy pink cushion you were so used to sitting on. You were sure your butt had made an imprint.

“Please, take a seat,” Enji Todoroki said, gesturing to the other side of Mina’s desk, away from the cushion that brought you so much comfort.

You frowned at his tone of voice, as if he had been there many times before and as if he owned the damn office himself. At least there was a nice fuzzy blanket on that side of the desk which you could use to cover yourself.

“I can tell that my presence is intimidating you,” he said. “But please, allow me to make my offer before jumping to any conclusions.”

Why was he making an offer to you? What did he want from you?

“As I am sure you are aware, Todoroki Enterprises is a million dollar company run by me and my other associates.”

You nodded. You were not aware of that but you were afraid of what would happen if you asked too many questions.

“And once I retire, the company will fall on the shoulders of my eldest son, Touya.” Enji Todoroki sighed and rubbed his eyes and the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “At the moment, he is being rather difficult.”

You nodded. You weren’t sure what was going on, why he was telling you this, but hearing about this rich ceo’s family drama did spark a bit of interest in you.

“He is not doing what I ask of him. He spends all day sleeping in and wasting my money and he refuses to take any part in working for the company.”

That sounded like typical teenage behavior to you. You weren’t sure why this man was being so pessimistic about it, or why he was even telling you in the first place. Surely it’s just a phase he would grow out of. “I’m sorry,” you started, feeling incredibly out of place with the conversation. “I’m not really sure why you’re telling me this information.”

Enji Todoroki let out another sigh. It wasn’t so much that he was fed up with your inability to understand, but really he seemed reluctant to be there talking to you in the first place. “I believe that if he were to have some, well, motivation, he may actually perform his tasks as a part of the company and as future head.”

“Motivation?” What on earth did he mean by that?

“I watched you and your co-workers perform tonight, and from watching your movements paired with his type, you seem like you would be best suited for the job.”

Your face flushed. He couldn’t be suggesting that, could he?

“(L/n), I would like to hire you to have intercourse with my son.”

Your eyes widened. He wanted what? There was no way, no way you could do that. “I’m sorry,” you said with staggered breath. “I don’t think I’m comfortable having sex with a teenager.” You smiled and nodded, thinking that would be the end of it.

“A teenager? My son is twenty-six years old.”

You paused for a moment before letting out an incredibly articulate, “uhhhhh, what?”

“My son is a fully grown adult, older than you in fact. So if your concerns lie within the legality of this exchange I can assure you that he is not a minor.” Enji Todoroki’s booming voice had just shattered your resolve.

Still, he couldn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to. All you had to do was tell him no and it would have been fine.

But you didn’t get a chance to. Before you could even think of what to say next, Enji Todoroki spoke up yet again. “I presume you are wondering what kind of compensation you will be receiving in return.”

You stayed silent.

“Your boss tells me that you are saving up to attend university and intend on furthering your education. I can only admire that kind of work ethic.”

Why? What could he possibly do with that information to make his offer worthwhile? It dawned on you then that that is why Mina was acting so weird, apologizing constantly as she led you to her office. She must not have been able to find a way out of this for you. Either that or the deal was too good to speak on your behalf of. But what could it even be?

“If you are willing to spend a night with my son and get him to take more responsibility in the company, Todoroki Enterprises will pay for your full college tuition at any institution you decide to attend.”

Your jaw fell onto the floor. This had to be a prank, right? Was he seriously offering to pay your full tuition for you?

“So, do we have a deal?” Enji Todoroki leaned forward against the desk and folded his hands together, large hands that could probably hurt you if you decided to say no.

“This is...” you trailed off. You didn’t know what to say or how to respond to an offer like that. He must be pretty desperate for his son to work in order to pay for your tuition in full.

His son.

Oh.

If you took up this offer, then you would have to… “What if I say no?” you asked.

He cleared his throat. “While I would tell you that saying no to this offer would not be in your best interest,” he started. “I cannot force you to say yes or do anything you are uncomfortable with.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. This was an impossible decision. You didn’t know his son, what he looked like or if he would even want to have sex with you. “It would only be for one night, right?”

Enji Todoroki nodded and let out a sort of grunt out of confirmation.

The thought of being with someone you didn’t know was scary. But at the same time, you would never get an opportunity like this again. Taking a deep breath in and keeping your dream school in mind, you nodded. “I’ll do it.”

“You made the right choice.” He stood up and you followed suit, assuming he’d have you shake his hand and schedule a time and place. “If you’d follow me, the car is waiting out front.”

“Wait, you mean right now?” No, you needed more time to prepare, to figure things out and to take it all in.

“Unless you have something important to attend to, which I doubt you do since you just finished your shift at work, then yes right now.” His eyes, which you hadn’t realized were such a remarkable shade of blue, bore deep into you. “I don’t like to be kept waiting, and neither does my son.”

“Right,” you flinched. “Um, if I could just grab my stuff and get dressed–”

“There will be no need. I already asked your boss to gather your things. We will provide a covering for you so there is no need to get dressed.” The authoritative tone to his voice made you feel so small, like there would be no way for you to even say no against his gaze. “Now if you’ll please follow me.”

You nodded and followed him out of the office and past the locker room where Mina and the other girls watched as you walked away. You barely had any time to watch them or wish them a good night before Enji Todoroki’s bellowing voice spoke up again.

“Our car is waiting out front. In the meantime, you can cover yourself with this.”

Another stranger, someone you presume works for Todoroki Enterprises, handed you a long, tan trench coat. You swiftly threw it over your shoulders and fastened the tie tight against your stomach. He also presented the boots that you wore to work that morning. Mina must have given them your things.

“If you’ll follow me this way,” the stranger said.

He led you outside where you could see the sun begin to poke its way up from beyond the horizon. You hadn’t realized how early in the morning it was. Would Enji Todoroki’s son even be awake at this point?

You were ushered into the backseat of a sleek black Tesla. You had never been in a car that nice before. It made the whole ordeal more harrowing and unreal. “Is Todoroki-san not coming with us?” you asked.

“He’ll be in the car right in front of us. Don’t worry, ma’am.” You usher closed the door and entered the driver’s side of the vehicle. He was a smooth driver, which helped with the nervous bubbles in your stomach that refused to calm down.

Free college, you had to remind yourself. This really was an incredible offer. You hadn’t even let it sink in until you were alone in the backseat of the Tesla, only accompanied by your usher and the light classical music that played on the radio. You would be able to go to any school you wanted to, free of charge. You couldn’t help the giddy smile that played its way onto your lips. This felt like a dream you were scared to wake up from.

“We’re here,” your usher said. Looking out your window, you saw that he had pulled up in front of a tall building reaching more stories than you could count. He opened the door for you and you stepped out into the cool, early morning breeze.

Enji Todoroki had also stepped out of his vehicle and gestured for you to follow him. The wind tickled your legs and you hugged the trench coat tight against your figure. He led you into the lavish building where one of the receptionists handed you a small paper cup of coffee. You were then brought to the elevators where you, Enji Todoroki, and your usher brought you up to one of the tops floors.

The elevator ride felt like it lasted forever. Your hands gripped the coffee cup and shaky lips sipped the beverage as Enji Todoroki talked your ear off. You knew that the receptionist gave you the drink because she figured you would be tired, but you were sure that your nerves would keep you awake regardless of the caffeine.

“I called my son in for an early meeting so he should be here.”

You nodded at the man’s words. This was really happening.

“And if he refuses to show up then we will provide a room for your lodging until he arrives.”

So you would be camping out here until the deed was done. A thought popped into your head, one that hadn’t even come to mind when you were given the offer. “What if he doesn’t want to have sex with me?” you asked.

Enji Todoroki paused. He didn’t really know what to say. “Knowing my son, he will.” As if that was supposed to give you any reassurance. “But on the off chance that he doesn’t, we will still compensate you for your time here.”

But no free college. The thought lingered in your mind. Of course you were doing this for the perks. You wanted to be able to make the most out of your young adulthood and part of that meant furthering your education. But you were still scared shitless by the bright fluorescent lights of the building as the grand elevator doors opened up on your destination.

“Wait outside the door,” Enji Todoroki directed at your usher, and you assumed you were supposed to wait with him. He led you through the halls and stopped at a door that's placard read “Touya Todoroki.”

You leaned against the wall and downed the rest of your coffee.

“I can take your empty cup for you, ma’am,” your usher said with a bright smile.

You smiled back and shaky hands dropped the empty paper cup in his own. You needed to stop shaking so much, but you didn’t think you could if you tried.

You could hear Enji Todoroki’s authoritative voice from outside the door and another one, you presumed him son. He sounded bratty, from what you picked up on their conversation. The more you picked up on it, the more nauseous you felt. “Is there a–”

“Bathroom?” your usher finished for you. “Right around the corner. But I would make it quick.”

At least he had a friendly smile that put you at ease. If this person you were supposed to sleep with was anything like him then maybe you wouldn’t mind it, but you had a feeling that was not going to be the case.

You stumbled into the bathroom and untied the trenchcoat, letting it fall to your ankles. You pulled your panties down and sat on the toilet, relieving your bladder. Your legs trembled. Not even you placing your hands over your thighs could stop them. A chill ran up your spine. How long had you been in there? No, you just sat down. Not much time had passed. But you should get back quickly. Enji Todoroki and his son, Touya, would be waiting.

By the time you got back to your usher, they were still arguing in Touya’s room? Office? You weren’t sure whether or not it was a bed or a desk behind the closed door.

“You’re just in time,” your usher said. “Any minute now.”

He had probably been working for Todoroki Enterprises, Enji Todoroki specifically, for a long time, because as soon as he said that, his boss’s booming voice called for him.

“Yamamoto,” he said, “bring her in.”

Your usher, Yamamoto, opened the door to Touya’s office and you tentatively stepped in. The office was spacious. A cluttered desk sat center in the room. On the other side there was a small couch facing a flat screen TV, although you couldn’t see the screen from where you stood.

And then, there was Touya. A young man with dyed black hair and white roots springing up from the center of his head looked your way. He was quite attractive. He had a much more lean figure compared to his father. He wore a tight fitting black dress shirt that accentuated his muscles, but what really set him apart from anyone you had ever seen was his face. Beautiful teal eyes, much like his fathers, stared back at you. The piercings in his nose and over his lips reflected the light from overhead. He would have to be one of the most attractive men you’ve ever seen.

“What is this,” he asked. “Another marriage arrangement?”

“No,” Enji, you think you know him well enough by now to start referring to him by just his first name, sighed. “This is not a marriage arrangement. After all, you threw aside the last twelve options I’ve given you.” He seemed to mumble the last part. He cleared his throat and spoke again. “I have hired her to take care of any of your...needs, and in return I expect you to finally pick up your slack and take part in this company.”

Touya scoffed. “So what is she then? A hooker?”

You felt incredibly out of place, and you averted your eyes to the dark hardwood floors you were standing on. “I’m not a hooker,” you mumbled.

“What was that, sweetheart? I couldn’t really hear you.” Touya snickered as you flinched at the nickname.

“Touya, I expect you to treat her with dignity and respect while you two are enacting in your...activities.” Enji turned to Yamamoto and nodded. “With that settled, I will leave you two alone.”

He and Yamamoto walked out the door and left. That was it? He wasn’t going to assure your safety any more than that? You were left alone in a strange room with this man you didn’t know who you were supposed to fuck. And you were completely and utterly defenseless.

You wish you still had that pepper spray Mina handed you. You’re pretty sure you left it on her desk when you had your initial chat with Enji. If only you had thought ahead enough to remember to bring it with you.

“So what’s your name, doll?” Touya, who was now on the couch, asked. His cheek rested on his fist and a lazy expression was splayed across his face.

“(Y/n),” you said, turning to look at him.

“That your first name?”

You nodded.

He chuckled. “So, what did my old man pay you to do this for me? A hundred k? Two hundred?”

“Free college tuition.”

His eyes widened. “Wow. He must really want me to start taking part in this company.” Leaning back. He patted his lap. “Why don’t you come over and take a seat, sweetheart.”

You didn’t want to comply, but your legs moved on their own as they walked towards him. Your butt found its place sitting on his lap and you pretended not to notice his semi erect cock pushing into your cheeks.

“Aren’t you a little obedient one,” he teased. One of his hands rubbed down your exposed thigh and up your trench coat. He thumbed over the collar of the coat. “So are you gonna take this off for me, or do I have to be the one to take it off you?”

You shuddered and he chuckled at how nervous he made you. Touya emanated so much warmth but even under the trench coat you had never felt so cold.

“Lemme guess, this is your first time whoring yourself out?” He grinned like the fucking cheshire cat as you squeezed your eyes shut out of embarrassment. “Nothing to be ashamed of,” he said with a cocky grin. His thumbs trailed up to the tie on your coat and his fingers pulled it open. “And I gotta admit.” He pulled the sides of the coat off and let it fall off of your shoulders onto the couch. “My dad has got my type pegged down to the nail.”

You were now fully exposed to the man in front of you. Your black bra accentuated your bosom and if it weren’t for the end of the trench coat you were still sitting on, you would have been able to feel the rough material of Touya’s slacks rutting against your ass.

He leaned down to lick a long stripe against the skin peeking out of your bra. “Although I wouldn’t have pegged you as someone who is this compliant.” His hands traveled further up until his fingers were wrapped around your panties, tugging at the elastic keeping them up. He moved up to pepper kisses up your neck, and you let out a sharp gasp when he bit your ear lobe.

“Sorry,” you mumbled when he stopped to let out a laugh.

He moved you off his lap so you were sitting next to him. “You’re not used to this. I get it.”

And you let out a sigh of relief at hearing those words. He was less scary then you thought he’d be. His kisses were gentle up until he bit you and the way he stroked his fingers up and down your exposed skin was comforting in a way.

But just as soon as you began to relax, his eyes narrowed with an evil tint. His hand reached down to unbuckle his pants. “So let's start with you getting on your knees to suck at my cock, shall we?”

Your body was frozen. His demeanor changed in an instant. You didn’t know what to do.

“Come on, doll. I don’t like asking twice.” Now, his hand was making its way up and down his dick. It was bigger than any you had seen before, not that you had seen many to compare it to to begin with.

You stood up from the couch and made your way in front of him, bracing your hands on his thighs as you lowered yourself down.

“That’s it. Now why don’t you pick it up and give it a few good strokes.” He guided your hand towards his dick and stroked it with your soft palm. It took a few strokes before you managed to get a hold of the rhythm. “That’s it. Now why don’t you give the tip a little kiss, hmm?”

Give it a kiss? You didn’t know how to put your feelings in words. His dick was impressive in length and width. There was a series of piercings lining the underside and the thought of them inside of you made you squirm. You leaned your head down and gave the tip a kiss.

Touya smirked. “That’s a good girl. Now open your mouth, sweetheart.”

You parted your lips slightly only to have him grip your hair and shove your head down against his length. You gagged and tears sprung out of your reddening eyes as you tried to push up for your release.

“Come on, sweetheart. Don’t you want that free tuition? If you want it, you gotta earn it.”

Gripping onto his shaft with one free hand, you hollowed your cheeks and tightened the shape of your mouth.

As he hesitantly loosened his grip on the back of your head, you realized what kind of person he was. He liked to be in control at all times, he’s the kind of person to take what he wants, and you knew that the act of him giving you gentle kisses not even five minutes earlier was just a facade.

Running your tongue up his pierced dick wasn’t as horrid as you thought it would be. You almost smiled at the sharp inhale he took when you swirled your tongue around the tip and lowered yourself onto him fully, using one of your hands to grip his balls and the other to keep your balance against him.

Breathe through your nose, you had to remind yourself.

The soft grunts that Touya made and the way he squeezed your ass may have gone over your head. Especially when he snuck his fingers under your panties and began to prod at your little asshole with his middle finger.

It took you by surprise, and you almost clamped your teeth around his cock out of shock.

“Easy easy,” he said, lifting your head off of his member. He took a moment to stare at your ruined face. Drool and slobber spilled down your chin and your makeup, which had been slowly rubbing off throughout the night, was completely gone as your tears had dragged it across your cheeks. “Look at you, you fucking whore.”

He’s right. You were a whore, selling your body for free education. What was wrong with you? And what was wrong with him getting off on this?

You wanted to speak up, but he beat you to it. “Why don’t you bend over the couch, sweetheart. I’ll show you what guys like me do to little whores like you.”

You hated how you could feel a rush of pleasure between your thighs at his words. Nevertheless, you obediently made your way over to the arm of the couch as he stood up, and you leaned over it so your ass was in the air and stomach was pressed flat against the cushy material.

Touya ran his hands over the fabric of your panties before ripping them off, tearing them to shreds. “Don’t worry about it, doll. I’ll buy you a new pair.”

He fucking better. Lace briefs are expensive for how little skin they cover. But your thoughts on the prices of various pieces of lingerie were pushed out of your mind when you felt something wet prodding at your exposed cunny. His tongue pushed past your folds and lips sucked around your clit.

Your hips pushed into the side of the couch and he snickered at how much he was affecting you. He slipped his thumb into your hole and you squeezed around the digit. “You’re so tight. I’d have expected you to be a bit more worn out.” The pads of his fingered rubbed quick little circles into your clit as his tongue dragged up to flicker against your bumhole, which fluttered against his touch. “Never had anything up here before?”

You shook your head vigorously against the couch and squirmed around as he ate out your ass with the full intent to make you cum. His fingers picked up the pace and if you didn’t have the couch to support you, you were sure you’d collapse into a heap onto the floor. You were edging closer to your orgasm, so close, so damn close, and then he pulled away.

Touya removed his thumb from inside your hole and sucked it clean. He laughed as you mumbled something about being close to cumming, but you shut up when you heard him tossing his shirt aside and dragging his pants further down his thighs. “I gotta say, after every shitty thing my dad has done to me, I gotta thank him. This is the best present he’s ever gotten me after all.”

You didn’t have time to think about what he just said as he lined his dick up between your cheeks and slid it up and down, gathering up his saliva and bits of your vaginal juices. He wasn’t planning on shoving his whole dick up your ass, was he? You didn’t think you’d be able to take that without any lube, or at least without anything other than spit.

It was almost as if he was so in tune with your body that he could hear your thoughts. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I won’t stick anything too big up there for now.”

For now? What did that mean?

He lined up his tip with your entrance and carefully pushed his way in. He thought to himself that he’d always remember the way you cried out in pain and pleasure as he snapped his hips forward once the tip was snuggly in place.

The way his piercing rubbed against your insides caused your toes to curl. Chills ran up your back and Touya rubbed a large palm over your spine to ease some of the pain.

He was raw and merciless as he pushed your head down into the couch cushions and thrusted into you at an alarming rate. You barely had time to catch your breath as he pushed balls deep inside of you.

Touya inched one of his fingers inside your tight little back hole to the first knuckle, and curled the digit up and down as you squeezed around him. He continued to push further and further in until you let out a sob of pleasure and the pace of his thrusts quickened.

Your body felt so hot yet so cold as you were pushed back and forth against the couch. It wasn’t long before you felt your orgasm build up again, but this time Touya didn’t stop. He wormed his finger around and continued thrusting into you until he felt you squeeze against him and your fluids gush out around him.

You laid limp against the couch as he pulled his finger out of your back hole and gripped both of your hips, continuing to thrust at a hard and fast pace until he came inside of you.

There was a moment of eire silence between the two of you as he settled down and pulled his cock out. You could hear him shuffling over to the other end of the room and typing something on his phone. “Yamamoto should be up with a towel to clean you up soon.”

You let out a groan of acknowledgement and sat up. Your body was still shaky, but not with nerves. You felt as though you had been thoroughly recked.

Touya couldn’t help but laugh at how pathetic you looked. “Was it worth the free college, babe?” he chided.

“Yeah,” you smiled to yourself. “Yeah it was.”

His smirk grew wider and a more devious glint in his eyes appeared. “Good. Now next time, let’s see if we can get something a little bigger in that back hole of yours.”

Your smile dropped and you could feel any contents in your belly churning around. “Next time?”

“What,” his eyes lowered in amusement. “You didn’t think this was a one time thing, did you? If you want that free college then you gotta earn it, doll.” He made big strides over to where you sat on the couch and gripped your chin, making sure you were staring into his bright teal and devious eyes as he spoke. “That was the best fuck I’ve had in weeks. I’m not planning on throwing you away any time soon, sweetheart.”

[peakyblindersxx]

whiskey buisness - john shelby x reader (part 2 of ?)

read part one here!

a/n: hey loves! i'm finishing up school rn, but i had to get this out and i'm about to start working on a tommy request immediately after i upload this. anyways, i'm so excited to post this series, it's incredible and i can't thank my bestie @stxdyblr-2k enough. she is a fucking genius :)

prompt: you can't get john out of your head. lo and behold, here he is.

warnings: fluff, mentions of smut, angsty af, soft john (ugh my heart)

Despite your best efforts, you'd been unable to stop yourself yearning for John Shelby. Your pokey flat now often lay empty; you were far too busy to mope at home due to your career as a personal assistant to a local solicitor who was allied with the Shelby's, attending rallies and lectures with Ada and the drunken nights you'd spend at various mansions, galleries and club openings with the "razor chasers" you'd become friendly with due to their refusal to leave Ada alone. Yet still, in those odd seconds of calm you seized over a cigarette, the first seconds after a bump of Tokyo, when you carefully applied your makeup, styled your hair or bathed, you'd think of him. The way the pads of his fingertips felt on your skin, how he’d muttered in your ear how pretty you looked.

But this was different to when you were dreaming about John at 15; he was no longer the allusive older brother of Ada who had a string of beautiful girls on rotation. He wasn’t a fantasy anymore. He was true flesh and blood, and for a moment he had wanted you.

It would be delicious if the whole situation hadn't left a bitter taste in your mouth. Of course you came back to Brum to only immediately fuck it up. The first night, and already you were so close to ruining everything? Looking back, now that you were so close with Ada once more, now that you knew who John had grown to be, that night was cringe inducing. Luckily, no one had seemed to catch on. Luckily, you thrived in the Small Heath rumour mill once again. All the gossip about you was mainly about your substance use, the lads you were seen curling up with outside nightclubs, your intelligence, your helpful nature, sometimes your questionable politics but that was all. John's was far darker, stories of blood, death and gasoline. Recently, the tales of his conquests had quietened, but only due to the lurid delight taken by the factory workers in talking about the recent blinding of some poor fucker who'd crossed the wrong person. Obviously, a lot of the detail had to be exaggerated for shock value and to boost the Shelby status, solidifying them as notorious throughout Birmingham city and its rural surroundings. There were murmurs everywhere about the violent John Shelby: ruthless, cocky, vengeful. It seemed impossible that the same man who cracked shit jokes just to see you smile, kissed you with so much desperation, and prioritised getting you off first could cause such harm without an ounce of guilt or shame to slow his swagger.

Whispers of war were far more constant, but then again, people would say anything for a reaction. You didn't bring it up with Ada. You refused to (openly) partake in mindless gossip on principle, yet you were hungry for information about him.

***********

You'd long forgotten whose wedding you were at. Some loyal blinder, a close friend of the Shelby's, the occasion calling for a large white marquee to be built onto one of Tommy's gardens, fully staffed with the best chef and service team money could buy (from a London restaurant at short notice; when Finn told you the extortionate figure Tommy had paid, your jaw had dropped). The cake, dress and decorations were stunning; you weren't sure exactly what the groom had done for the Shelby's but you could only assume the worst for what they'd splashed out on him.

However, thinking like that only spoilt your night: you'd realised at your fifth club takeover, now you repeated it like a mantra constantly. You'd quickly learnt every excess the Shelby's granted to those outside their circle were due to some perceived sacrifice for being associated with them. Well, that's what you chose to believe after John had sent a junior blinder to your office with a bouquet, the Monday morning after he turned you down. So, it was best to smile and take the shit, get paid, and get out as soon as possible. You were to keep your head down until then.

Yet, keeping your head down was difficult tonight. Ada had treated you to a shopping trip to London for the occasion this morning, Arthur forcing the junior blinders to tag along next to you on the train and trailing less than two metres behind you for hours. You missed the days when it was just you and Ada. It was far more simple without the stares whenever the two of you stepped out. Ada had gotten used to it, she'd devised her own methods of being completely alone; complex plans involving leaving a window open, knotting sheets into a rope and twisting her ankles. Not that she minded, she reckoned the suffocation of being a Shelby was much worse than a few bruised ankles.

You were wearing a clingy emerald green dress from some fancy French boutique you couldn't even pronounce, the diamond necklace sitting along your collarbone and the jewels dangling through your ears were on loan from Ada. You felt eyes unpicking you the moment you entered the after-party. Your arm was linked through Ada's as per usual, she looked equally stylish in a peacock blue number that set off her eyes, her delicate features perfected with makeup.

You'd quickly found your gaggle and began drinking and dancing the night away. Whispers about snow arose from your table, people disappearing to the toilets to rail a line on the bathroom counter, then to the dance floor or to the lap of the poor fucker who'd hold back their hair while they vomited in just a few hours. At least the Blinders were polite about it. Isaiah would kill them if they weren’t. You'd let your arm be tugged on various bathroom trips, treated among your group like secret missions although you weren't entirely subtle about it.

What you weren't aware of was across the marquee, you were being watched by the three men in your life who you'd never want to see you in this state: the Shelby's.

"Looks like Finn's taken your spot, John." Arthur yelled in John's ear over the loud music, gesturing to the youngest Shelby sat at the table next to you who was staring up at you in complete adoration as you chatted across him to Michael, seemingly arguing with him. By the looks of it, you were winning.

John pulled a face at Arthur. “Fuck off, old man. That'll never happen. Finn’s too young for her." He immediately regretted the words that had fallen out of his mouth, revealing far too much for his comfort.

"It's not impossible."

"He's just not right for her, yeah?"

"And you are?"

John didn't bother to bless him with a verbal response, instead flipping him off and downing the rest of his whiskey. "It's not like that."

"What's it like then? Because from where I'm sitting, it's pretty fucking clear, John." Arthur slurred, glass of whiskey sloshing onto his sleeve.

"You're too gone to even know you're chatting shit." John sneered, standing up, "I'm off for a smoke and some fresh air. Try not to fuck anything in my absence, both of you."

His brothers cursed him out as he left. John took a second to figure out his route, purposefully having to cross your path, gesturing for you to follow him subtly. He was surprised you came trailing after him, telling Michael that you weren’t done yelling at him and you’d be back. When you were both only metres from the marquee, he knew you were fucked. You were instantly bored, begging him for a cigarette, which he lit for you, shaking his head at your state.

"You're a fucking mess, love." He said, mouth sloping attractively to one side.

"Takes one to know one, John-boy. Where are we off to, then?"

"Somewhere fucking quiet, can barely hear myself think. Plus, you need to sober the fuck up, lass." He said, softly, as he walked across the dew soaked grass. You followed, heels in hand, holding your dress up as not to ruin it. He sighed, taking the shoes from your hands and wrapping his blazer around your shoulders, linking your arm through his for stability. He kept the distance respectful, but there wasn’t any denying the thick tension in the summer air between the two of you. Ahead, there was a small stone bench sat at the foot of one of Thomas' manicured gardens, and John offered his hand to help you sit. You made small talk and caught up on each other's lives, and you noted John only seemed to glow when you asked about his kids. He talked at length, the drink seemingly unhinging his jaw. There he was again, the John you knew and had admired for so many years. You could sit here forever, watching his blue eyes sparkle in the sunlight. Yet, it just wasn’t meant to be. You wished you could stop time just for a bit, give you enough moments to memorize the freckles on his skin.

"You know the night I first came home?" The alcohol and snow had loosened your lips. You were teetering on the edge of your boundaries, but you couldn't care enough to hold back.

"The night where absolutely nothing happened?" He joked, raising an eyebrow at you, cautious that you'd randomly brought it up in your state. "Sweetheart, this can wait."

He was warning you. For a second you managed to bite your tongue, but curiosity tipped you over the edge.

"But something nearly happened, right?"

"Y/N. Don't." He warned, his tone icy, suddenly distancing from you, hiding between an emotional boundary which he didn't wish to explore.

"John, it's just us. Can't we even talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about, though. You were off your face then, and now. That's fine. We know where we stand. It can't happen."

"I wanted to. I do want to."

"You don't. Trust me. You need a nice lad who'll marry you and look after you. Just need to keep your nose clean long enough yeah?" He teased, trying to lighten the mood, blue eyes begging you to move on.

Your head turned to face him, your face contorting in a mixture of confusion and irritation. "You don't get to tell me what I want or need. The last thing I want is to marry any lad, nice or not."

"I didn't mean it like that, right? Look, I just meant you deserve better than Shelby scum. You're going places you know? Don't settle for Small Heath." John responded with a pained sigh. He didn’t want to get into it with you; not here, not like this. He'd thought about it, naturally. You were constantly on his mind, yet only problems ever seemed to appear, never solutions. It was best for him to avoid you. Why the fuck did he drag you out here? Horrible idea.

"Your family isn't scum. Where the fuck did you get that from?" Your face was screwed up in genuine rage. "I-"

"Y/N, fuckin’ leave it."

His face had hardened completely now. He'd snapped at you. His voice hadn't raised, it was just the power he spat his order out with. You held up your hands in mock surrender, pointedly taking a cigarette from his front pocket and light it silently, not saying a word.

"Why are you so bothered, anyways?" He asked, breaking the silence like you knew he would. John always had to ask questions.

"Fuck off with that, John. I'm not in the mood."

"What do you mean?" He looked completely lost.

"We nearly had sex. Just sex, nothing else right?"

John remained silent.

"Would it be the worst thing in the world?" You asked, your voice wavering. It was hard enough to get the words out, let alone imagine the response.

"You're far too wasted to chat about this, love."

"John, I’m not-"

"I'm serious. You're fucking mashed like my brothers aren't you? Like all those other fuckers in there." He sounded genuinely angry. In the glow of the sunset he looked so much younger, so hurt and lonely. Why hadn't you noticed before?

He turned to you, eyes widened and shocked at his own outburst. "You're not the only one gone yeah? Ignore me, I'm fucked, sorry."

You reached out your hand and linked your fingers through his in silence, the warm evening wind ruffling your hair and dress, blocked from your skin by John's suit jacket which was wrapped around your shoulders. Not that anyone would notice or care. As long as Ada wasn't with you, you could disappear for hours without any alarm. There you sat in the tranquil last few moments of the day, your hand linked with John's, both beyond tipsy. You weren’t thinking properly but it felt right. You felt safe. You didn't want to have to return to the chaos of the party, to have to catch up on who your friends were currently trying to screw. None of that seemed to matter anymore.

Was it too much to ask for something to be simple? Maybe you didn't have to fuck him. Maybe just these small moments were enough. You laughed at the thought when it crossed your mind; neither you nor John were known for consistency or stability in relationships, you being admittedly rather inexperienced, only having been with a few men, and he had his fair share of escapades. But he was just so different. You wouldn't admit that he'd gotten your attention in any way than purely sexually (which surprised you to admit) and for fun, but you genuinely enjoyed his presence.

He was right though. It wasn't a good idea at all to hook up. There was far too much baggage for both of you to make it worth it.

Just once?

You glanced over at John. He rolled his eyes at you, but the edges of his lips were slightly upturned, his dimples faintly peeking through his defined cheeks.

Just once couldn't hurt.

***

The sky was streaked with shades of gold, amber and blood. John could feel the friction from your knee barely knocking against his, the pressure putting him on edge. In fairness, he had drunk heavily, and that's what happens when you let your guard down around beautiful women. He couldn't believe you had told him you wanted to have sex with him still. He'd chalked the whole situation down to a drunken mistake that would have progressed into a far more significant drunken mistake. Ada would never forgive him if he went for another of her mates. Especially Y/N. No matter if he said that Y/N could be different, that you wasn't just another conquest. But who'd believe him?

Far better to keep his mouth shut.

Far better to play safe.

As you were called back to the party by the gaggle of girls John vaguely recognised from hanging off the arms of other blinders, he realised (despite his state) that you were right. Having sex with you wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. In fact, it might be one of the best.

Just once?

He watched your figure disappear back into the marquee, waiting for you to turn back and look for him. You do. He would have done the same if it was him.

Maybe just once wouldn't hurt.

***

to be continued!

[band--psycho]

Harvey Specter x Reader-Not A Disaster After All

(Credit to the gif owner)

Other Character Masterlist

Today was the day. The day of my first date in almost three years, to say I was nervous was an understatement; not just because it was my first date in so long but also because the date was with the one of the most famous lawyers in the city, the one and only Harvey Specter. After several outfit changes I finally settled on wearing a black, spaghetti strap jumpsuit accompanied with matching black stiletto high heel ankle boots. I glanced at the clock on the other side of the room, feeling a mixture of emotions as the time grew ever closer. I hadn’t felt this nervous in a long time but likewise I hadn’t felt more excited to go on a date with someone, not since I dated Nathan, Y/d/n father. In all honesty, since he died I hadn’t really gone on many dates, if any really. I tried the dating apps a few years after his death but there just wasn’t anyone on there that I liked that way. Harvey was the first person I’d even liked since Nathan and although part of me felt guilty about it, I knew he’d want me to be happy and Harvey was a good guy, I felt safe with him. 

“So..whaddya think?” I asked in a sing-song voice as I turned the corner, revealing my outfit for my date tonight to my best friend, Emma.

“You look absolutely gorgeous babe!” she practically squealed, causing Y/d/n to pull her eyes away from the tv screen. 

“You ‘ook reawy pwetty, mummy,” Y/d/n beamed as she was waddled over to me, a wide smile on her face and a look of awe in her eyes.Thinking about it, this was probably one of the only times  she’s seen me all dressed up just like this, normally I’d just be wearing my ripped skinny jeans and a tshirt. 

“Thank you baby,” I whispered, bending down to pick her up. 

“Now, I need you to be good for Auntie Em whilst I’m out, okay?” I asked her, brushing away some of the stray locks of hair out of her face. 

“Otay,” Y/d/n agreed, placing a sloppy kiss on my cheek. I couldn’t help but chuckle at her actions as I placed her back on the floor, within seconds she’d waddled back over to the tv and was sat infront of it completely engrossed in her favourite show once again. 

“C’mon then you, you’ve got a date to go to,” Emma chuckled, lightly pushing me towards the door. 

“Okay, okay, I’m going,” I chuckled, putting my leather jacket on, taking a deep breath before I opened the door. 

“If there are any issues-” I began, quickly turning back to Emma just rolled her eyes and said, “I will call you, Y/n/n, now go otherwise you’re gonna be late.” So with that I left and got into the taxi, the closer I got to the restaurant the quicker I could feel my heart beating away in my chest. Part of me wanted nothing more than to ask the taxi driver to take me home, absolutely terrified that I was somehow going to mess this date up. But then I saw him. Mr Harvey Specter standing outside the restaurant patiently waiting for me. I took a deep breath as I opened the taxi door and made my way over to him. 

“Y/n/n,” Harvey greeted with the very same charismatic smile I first fell for. 

“Mr Specter,” I replied, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks as his eyes locked onto mine. 

“Call me Harvey,” he chuckled, lightly placing his hand on the lower part of my back, leading me into the restaurant. There was no turning back now. This date was happening...and it was either going to be the best night of my life or...or I was just never going to date again. 

~~~~~~~

I’d always heard about how charming Harvey Specter was but I never expected this. He was...he was amazing. I felt like I’d known him for years, the two of us were just swapping stories about our lives, our hobbies, just anything and everything..once we got talking it’s like we couldn’t stop. There was no awkward silence, or nerves about what to say, it was just natural. I hadn’t even realised how much time had passed until my phone rang; at first I was just going to ignore it but when I saw Emma's name flash up in the called ID I felt my heart stop, terrified that something was wrong with Y/d/n.  

“Sorry, I’ve got to answer this,” I apologised, rushing over to a quieter part of the restaurant to answer my phone. 

“Em, what’s happened? Is Y/d/n okay?” I asked, a worrying tone now lacing my voice. 

“Don’t panic, Y/n/n, but Y/d/n’s been sick, you don’t need to worry I can take care of-”

“I’m on my way home,” I interrupted before hanging up the call and quickly making my way back over to Harvey. 

“Harvey, I hate to do this but I’ve really got to go, it’s my daughter she’s not well,” I explained, grabbing my jacket from the chair. 

“I can uh...I can forward you the money if you send me your details,” I quickly added, not really having the time to work out exactly how much I was going to owe him for this dinner. 

“I’ve got it, don’t worry,” Harvey replied with a smile, handing over the money to a nearby waiter. I wanted to argue with him about it, but I couldn’t, not now. Right now all I wanted to do was go home and look after Y/d/n. I smiled politely at Harvey and rushed outside, attempting (and failing) to get a taxi. I sighed in frustration, running a hand through my hair, placing a hand on a nearby wall in an attempt to steady myself as I took my heels off accepting that I was going to have to walk (more like run) home. 

“Y/n/n? What’re you doing?” Harvey asked, his voice catching me off guard entirely. 

“I’ve gotta go home but apparently all the taxis wanna ignore me, so I’m gonna have to walk,” I explained in a harsher tone than I expected. 

“My cars gonna be here in five minutes, I’ll take you home,” 

“Harvey, that’s a really nice offer but-” I attempted to argue only to be interrupted by Harveys words, “But nothing, I’m not about to let you walk home this late at night, besides the quicker we get to Yd/n the better right?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he held out his hand for me to take. I didn’t want to take advantage of him...but I couldn’t deny this offer, so I slipped my heels back on and took his hand, both of us waiting patiently for his car to arrive.  

~~~~~~~~

“Thank you so much for this Harvey, I really appreciate it,” I said, practically bolting out of the car before he could say anything back. I didn’t even know Harvey had followed me to the door until I saw the shocked expression on Emma's face when she answered the door. 

“Harvey-” 

“I wanna help,” He offered, a small and reassuring smile coming upon his lips. I nodded back, smiling at him before rushing into the house and heading to Y/d/ns bedroom. When I saw Y/d/n, I felt my heart ache, her usual rose tinted cheeks were pale and tears cascaded from her now bloodshot eyes. 

“Mummy,” She sniffled when she saw me, “I don’ feel good,”

“It’s okay baby, I’m here,” I cooed, stroking her hair soothingly as I sat next to her on the bed. 

~~~~~~

Ten minutes after I got back, Emma left, leaving me and Harvey to take care of Y/d/n. Harvey was amazing. There was no other word I could use to describe how great he was at looking after Y/d/n; all I did was stay in bed with her, stroking her hair and giving her all the cuddles I possibly could while Harvey did everything else, he would got her water and a little wet flannel to bring her slight fever down and then on top of that he read to her. Not once. Not twice. But at least five times as much as I hated to admit it, he was a lot better at doing the voices than I was and I could see Y/d/n was enjoying it and it was definitely helping to calm her down. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed but eventually Y/d/n fell asleep; I carefully moved my arms away from her and moved off the bed. 

Thank you, for everything you’ve done tonight,” I began, my voice barely above as a whisper to, as we quietly left the room, making our way back downstairs. 

“It was a pleasure,” Harvey reassured with a comforting smile on his face. A short silence filled the air as he grabbed his suit jacket and made his way to the door.

“I know tonight has been a disaster-,” I began only to be interrupted by Harveys chuckle.

“I got to spend the evening with you, I call that a success,” He said , wrapping his arms around my waist, a comforting smile on his face. I don’t know what came over me, but at that moment all I wanted to do was kiss him. So that's exactly what I did. I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck and closed the distance between our lips. Instantly, Harvey reciprocated my action, his hands slowly moving up my body to my face, caressing my cheeks as he deepened the kiss. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” He whispered against my lips, pecking them one last time before opening the door and making his way over to the car, just before he got in he winked at me, that charismatic smile coming onto his face again. Then he vanished off into the distance. Maybe tonight wasn’t a disaster after all...maybe it was the beginning of something really special.

Tagging: 

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[sweeetcreatvre]

God-Sent Angel

“I lied to you, Harry.” You looked up at him waiting for an answer and hoping he doesn’t get too upset with you.

a/n: i’ve been in a mood!! these last few days. i haven’t written in forever, but this idea popped into my head and the words just floated onto the page. i hope you guys like it! i am a very small page still, so if you see this if you could like, repost, and consider following i will love you forever. thank you for reading 🤍

pairing: harry x reader

warnings: explicit talk of mental/emotional abuse, please don’t read if you can’t handle it. this was heavily based off of my experience with my parents. this is not meant to try and romanticize abuse in any way, and please don’t take it like that. abuse is not fun, there’s no good side to it. a little angsty? fluff

word count: ~2.6k

•••

You met Harry when Sarah and Mitch introduced the two of you a little over a year ago. Sarah’s your best friend, you’ve known her since uni, and she’d convinced you to meet Harry by telling you that it would just make it easier for the two of you to hang out if they didn’t have to split their time between you and Harry and you all just hung out together.

You immediately took a liking to Harry. Because of your horrid anxiety and how awkward it made you, you usually hold back until you know people a little better, but something about Harry put you at such ease with him.

You hung out a couple times alone as “friends”, but both realized it was more than that when you declined Sarah and Mitch’s offer to go out because you already had a date with chinese take out and a line up of rom-coms you’d planned to watch for the night.

You and Harry bonded over cheesy movies. With his busy schedule and how difficult it is for him to go in public, you would watch movies at one of your homes and then reenact the scenes with him.

Things with Harry were easy, he made you happy, and he put you at ease.

•••

You went home to Manchester with Harry one day and truly had the best time. You loved how much his family cared for each other, and how they interacted.

That night, as you were laying on his chest in Anne’s guest room bed, you spoke the words that had been in your head all night, “I hope our family is like yours one day.” You didn’t really plan on saying it, the words just kind of came out.

You were worried you’d scared Harry by being so open about kids with him. You were serious obviously, having met his family and everything, but you hadn’t really talked about kids yet.

He still hadn’t talked causing you to look up at him and sit up a little. “I mean, not that we’re having kids or anything anytime soon, I just thought maybe one day, or not, That’s fine too.” You let it all back in one breath wishing you would’ve kept your mouth shut.

He pulled you back to his chest and kissed the top of your forehead before whispering, “(y/n), I want nothing more than to have a family with you one day. I love you, and I plan on keeping you around for as long as you’ll let me.”

You smile into his chest and place a soft kiss there. “I love you too,” your voice is muffled by his chest.

•••

After you met Anne and Gemma, Harry kept begging you to introduce him to your family. For a while you were able to put it off, saying they were in America, which is true, but not the reason you won’t let him meet them.

Your parents were... difficult. They never hit you growing up, not enough to leave any marks at least, but they yelled, and got angry, and got drunk, and got manipulative. Because they never hit you, it took you a long time to accept what they were doing was abuse.

When you turned 18 you applied to colleges abroad and got accepted into a university in England, you haven’t looked back since. Your parents were always the thing holding you back in life, so 3 years later, when your little brother turned 18 and moved out of the house, you cut off all communication with them. You still talk to your siblings, them being the only thing that kept you sane. You talked to them almost daily, and sometimes you’d even go visit them. Your oldest sister came to England a few times, her being the only one you fully trusted to not tell your parents where you lived.

But telling all of that to Harry was not something you were interested in. It was too much baggage, and no one ever understood how you could just cut off the people who raised you. It was always “They’re your parents, they love you, give them a second chance.” and you’re tired of hearing how you’re hurting them when they hurt you for 18 years.

So you made up excuses as to why he couldn’t meet them for as long as possible.

You spent your first Christmas together at Anne’s saying you couldn’t afford to go home, and you refused to take the money Harry offered to buy you a ticket.

That summer you compromised with him and your older sister came to stay with you.

Harry loved your sister. He said you act so similar, and he loves seeing you so happy. Your sister brings out a different side of you, and Harry adored it.

That also meant he just wanted to see more of your family.

•••

Harry had never spent a Christmas away from his family, and you didn’t want to spend Christmas away from him, so you were hoping that was enough for him to accept you not going home.

As you walked into Harry’s home after work he calls out to you “I’m in the kitchen, love!”

You walk into the kitchen and immediately your senses get filled with a pleasant smell. As you walk in, he turns from the stove to give you a kiss, but he holds you in his arms as you pull away from each other.

“Hi, baby,” you half-whisper half-laugh out to him.

“I missed you today,” he began pressing more kisses to your jaw then down your neck, but they were slow and sweet.

Your arms around his neck, you play with the hair at the nape of his neck, loving that it’s growing long again, the curls tangling in your fingers.

“What’s for dinner it smells delicious?” you ask him as he’s still kissing at your neck.

“You smell delicious, I’ll have you,” he mumbles in between kisses, but then his kisses picked up a faster pace and got more toothy.

You laugh at him and then gasp as he’s biting at your skin then soothing it with his tongue. However, you push him away because you’re starved, only having a small lunch because you had a busy day. “Baby, I’d love to but I’m starved, feed me first.”

He laughs at you then turns back to the stove. He lifts the lid on the soup pot so you were able to look inside. “I made your favorite, figured it would be nice for the snowy day it is.”

You smile at him, he never fails to make you so happy by doing simple things for you.

Your whole life you struggled with feeling like your presence was too much. Always calming yourself down so you were never too excited or too sad or asking for too much.

Harry never made you feel like that though. He went above and beyond for you time after time and you loved that about him. He’d never take your praises for it either. “‘s no big deal, just wanted to remind you how much I love you,” he would say, but to you that was a huge deal.

After you eat you clean up the dishes together and you’re ready to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie with him, but Harry has other plans for the evening.

“I have an early Christmas present for you,” he says after coming back from his bedroom where he disappeared for a few minutes.

“Harry..” you started, but he silenced you with his finger pressing to your lips.

“It’s for both of us really, and it can’t wait until Christmas, so you have to open it now,” he places a small wrapped box in front of you, “go on.”

You hesitantly untie the bow holding the top to the bow then take the lid off. Inside there’s two pieces of paper, two plane tickets. You read the information on the tickets and see that they’re round trip from the 22nd to the 26th and they’re to Indianapolis airport. AKA Harry has planned a trip for the two of you to go home together for Christmas so he can meet the rest of your family. Shit.

You stare at the tickets in disbelief, then at him, then back to the tickets. “H..” you start but you trail off, not even knowing what to do about this. He spent hundreds of dollars on you to meet your family, and gave up Christmas with his own too, and there’s no way you’re going.

He seems to pick up on the fact that you’ve been awfully silent. “Ya gonna say anything?” he asks carefully. You can hear in his voice that he’s afraid he’s messed up, but he’s trying to hide it with a smile and joke. He’s being so hesitant with you, scared to make a move or say anything.

You look up at him with shiny eyes, tears threatening to fall over. You were gonna say something now, but before you could Harry started again.

“Oh, God, I messed up didn’t I? I- I shouldn’t have done all this planning without even asking you. I shouldn’t have just invited myself home with you. You know what, it’s fine I don’t care about my ticket, you can go by yourself, I’ll stay here. You never see your family, I mean I should’ve known you would want to be alone with them. You go, I’ll stay here, I don’t care, just please stop looking at me like that or I swear to God I’ll start crying too. You’re the only thing I’ve ever been this scared to lose, I don’t care what you need. Take it, take it all.” The whole thing is rushed out and you can tell he’s freaking out.

You grab his hand, still in your place on the couch and he’s standing in front of you. You intertwine your fingers, “Can you sit down?” you whisper softy to him. He looks at you for a moment before moving to sit next to you, but you’re both turned sideways so you’re still facing each other.

“You can tell me if you don’t want me to come I won’t be upset.” He sounds so heartbroken by the idea that he’s scaring you off and it’s killing you.

“No, H, no, baby. I don’t want you going, but I’m also not going to go. It’s not the gift I love it, and I love that you always try to buy me the most personalized gift, but I just- I can’t go home.”

“I don’t understand. Your family is there, you- you should go be with them for Christmas.”

Staring at your hands in your lap you think of how you’re going to tell him this. “I lied to you, Harry.” You looked up at him waiting for an answer and hoping he doesn’t get too upset with you.

“What?” He’s not mad, just more confused.

“You haven’t met my family because I don’t talk to them anymore. My parents, I mean. I obviously talk to my siblings, you know i talk to them, but not my parents. I haven’t spoken to them in 4 years, and I intend to keep it that way.” A few tears have slipped down your face and your voice keeps breaking.

“Can I ask why?” His hand comes to rest on your cheek, wiping away a tear with his thumb.

“They were abusive,” you barely whisper the words and Harry has you in his arms immediately his chin rests on the top of your head, and with shaky breath you cry into his chest, holding tightly around his waist feeling so vulnerable and exposed right now. You’re sitting sideways in his lap, one of his hands is on your back, the other on your waist and his thumb is rubbing back and forth on the small bit of exposed skin above your pants where your shirt has ridden up.

When your breathing has gotten a little more normal, you look up at him and he places a kiss on your forehead. “They weren’t physical, but the screamed.. a lot” your voice sounded weak, but it wasn’t as shaky.

“You don’t have to tell me. If you don’t want to, I mean. I believe you.” You shake your head.

“I want to tell you.” You felt so bad for lying to him for so long. “It wasn’t ever bad until I was like 11 or 12. My sister says she believes it’s just because she took a lot of the heat.” You have 2 older sisters, Charlotte and Sarah, they’re 9 and 11 years older than you. Your oldest sister was the target of a lot of their stunts. “She moved out when I was 8, Sarah when I was 9, and we had a couple good years. Then we moved in with my grandma, and shit hit the fan.”

“I struggled with the workload of my classes, and they didn’t like that, said it made them look bad. My dad would get mad and yell, he even told me he hated me once. My mom checked on them obsessively, and I’d get angry messages about how bad I’m doing during the school day.”

“When my grandma got super sick, everything got ten times worse. She was my rock and I saw her declining everyday from January-August. My dad continued to be up my ass about grades, while also drinking ridiculous amounts. My mom fell into what I think was a depressive episode, and would come home late and say things like ‘I didn’t come home because no body values me here anyways’ but not in a way that was sad, she’d be angry about it and yell about it to us.”

“After she died I had to learn to live without her, and I had no clue just how much she was keeping us together. The next 3 years was constant screaming and manipulation. My grades slipped a little, and they hated that I wasn’t their perfect little prodigy who just pranced around knowing everything anymore. They made me feel so worthless, and like my entire existence was a burden. I was too loud, and too talkative, and too lazy, but not smart enough, and I didn’t work hard enough, and I had no pride in the things I did.” You paused for a minute.

“You’re the only person that’s ever made me feel like I’m not too much or too little.” You whisper out the confession to him knowing that it is how you truly feel about him. “I moved here when I was 18, and cut off all ties with them when Carson turned 18. 3 years later. I’m the only one of us to actually do it, but I’m just so much happier without them in my life.”

“I’m convinced you’re an angel,” His voice cracks and you look up to him to notice he’s shed tear or two and more are threatening to slip out, “sent for me, straight from the gods, because I don’t think any human is as amazing as you. I don’t have any idea what I did to deserve and angel like you, but I’m never letting you go. I love you, and I love that you’ll cry in my arms and how open you are with me. You really are a god-sent fucking angel.” He’s cupping your face in his large hand now. “We won’t go to the States for Christmas. We’ll go to Manchester, and we’ll spend it with my mom and sister.”

“I’m sorry we’re not going, I know how bad you wanted to meet them.”

“No, baby, it’s ok. We’ll spend all the Christmases here, and one day we’ll host Christmas. With our family that will be just like mine, like you said you wanted the first time you met Mom and Gem. You’re gonna be so happy, that’s my life mission, to make my heavenly angel happy.”

“I am happy, H. Right here, with you.”

[weebswrites]

The Demon Bros: Their Dark Side (combining these two asks because they have very similar energy^^)

- if anyone is interested I can write a part 2 to this where MC and the demons reconcile hehe -

Lucifer (TW: attempted physical assault (not sexual))

He’s the avatar of pride, so the event that causes him to snap is when you accidentally tell the bros about how the two of you like to unwind (rated pg)

You didn’t think it’d be a big deal, they’ve been brothers for how many thousands of years?

But Lucifer erupts, suddenly in demon form

He stands over you, roaring his hand back as if he were going to slap you

Beel stands up and intercepts Lucifer’s hand, grabbing his wrist with all his strength and saving you

You wince, falling back a bit into Asmo’s arms, and he hugs you close

“MC!!!” he yells, rage obvious in his voice

“Asmo…what did I do…” you whisper, voice quivering in fear as the love of your life just snapped and almost hit you

“I think he wanted that to stay private, he doesn’t like us to know that he relaxes…” he whispers, “Don’t feel guilty, he shouldn’t be reacting like this”

“Lucifer…” you say, standing a bit straighter and looking into his dark red eyes, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know”

“You should have!” his voice booms, anger not subsiding at all

You look at him, eyes full of confusion and regret. You plead for him to calm down, to talk to you rationally and listen to your apologies

He growls, “The rest of you, out!” he yells, and they obey instantly. Asmo squeezing his shoulders around you quickly and Beel giving you a small smile before leaving

You ramble on for as long as he lets you about how you’re sorry and you didn’t mean to upset him

After a few minutes he cuts you off, “You didn’t upset me, you betrayed me”

His voice was cold, and without hesitation he turns and leaves the room

Mammon

You didn’t think Mammon, the avatar of Greed, would get mad about anything. You’d never heard stories about him turning into demon form, so you assumed it basically never happened

That is, until you take Levi’s side and scold him for taking more of his games and selling them

“I thought you were supposed to take my side no matter what!” he yells, two bat-like wings appearing before you

Your face gets red, and you take a step back, “Mammon…” you whisper, completely in shock

“What? You’re actually surprised that I’m pissed off right now? Humans really are idiots!”

You take a small step behind Levi, and he puts his arm in front of you, a bit of a shield from Mammon

“Mammon, calm down. They’re right and you know it, you just let your greed override your sense sometimes. Listen to your partner, they’re trying to help you” Levi defends you

“Yeah, Mammon, please. I don’t mean to insult you, I just don’t like seeing you always hurting others and stealing their things just to get money”

“I’m the avatar of greed, damnit! What do you expect?! You knew that before you started dating me, you can’t act like this now just because we’re dating”

“Mammon, I just want what’s best for you. There are better ways to get money than backstabbing your family!”

You’re definitely a bit afraid, but you’re not going to let him walk all over you

You bicker back and forth, arguing in circles before he storms off to his room, slamming and locking the door behind him

Leviathan

You’ve been hanging out with a new friend more and more, and he gets envious

You reassure him that he’s just a partner that you got assigned for a class, nothing more, but Levi can’t help but be jealous that its not him

Until one night when he asks if you can binge the new anime that came out, and you tell him that you have to meet with him to work on your project

“Why!! Why are you constantly with him, talking and laughing and working and everything!” he screams, voice cracking with emotion as he transforms into demon form

“Levi, I’ve told you it isn’t like that! The professor assigned us together, I didn’t even know him before this!” you defend yourself, exasperated with your boyfriend’s jealousy

“I don’t care!! You need to make time for me instead of him! He’s probably funnier than me, and he’s obviously handsomer than I am, you’re probably ashamed of always being seen with me so you’re trying to be with him more!”

“Levi, please. You know I love you and only you” you say, voice half caring and half irritated

“Yeah, right! See if I care, go be with your real boyfriend then, see if I care” he says, crossing his arms and exhaling aggressively

“Levi, no. I can reschedule if this is going to be a problem tonight, but he’s my partner. We have an assignment to do”

“No, go. I’ll watch the new season on my own. You probably don’t even like anime, you liar!”

“Levi!! Please, love, you know that isn’t true”

“I can’t trust you, not after this. Just go, have fun with your real boyfriend” he sneers, turning his back to you

“Fine!” you snap back, leaving his room and slamming the door behind you

Satan (18+ language)

You’re chatting about a book that’s supposed to be released sometime this year

“I heard that the ending is super cliche, the main character was unconscious the whole time or something overused like that”

“You what?!” he exclaims, transforming into demon form

“Fuck…Satan…I forgot…” you whisper, stepping a bit back as you remember how each brother took time to tell you to avoid spoilers at all. costs. with satan

“You sure as hell did!! I can’t believe you!!” he screams, running a hand through his hair in anger

“It’s probably not even true…I doubt the author would do something like that” you mutter, trying to save yourself from his wrath

“I don’t care!! There’s the chance now that that’s how it’s going to end, you know how my head works, now that’s all I’ll be able to think about while I’m reading!! Damn it!!”

He’s pacing back and forth, heat radiating off his body as he tries to control his anger

“I can’t forgive you for this” he states, voice cold

“Satan…” you whisper, stepping towards him a (tiny) bit

“Get away from me…” he scoffs

“Satan, please…I’m so sorry” you plead with him, desperate for him to forgive you, “I know how badly I messed up, I know. I would do anything to undo it, or to make you feel better. Please just forgive me”

“Anything, huh?” he retorts, smirking at you

“Yes, anything, please” you say, resisting the urge to step towards him again

“Then leave. Get out, I don’t want to look at you right now”

You feel your heart break and sink in your chest. Tears well in your eyes, but Satan stays silent, eyes unwavering at your emotions

You leave, walking slowly to your room, tears rolling down your cheeks

Asmodeus (drinking mentions)

You’re out one night at a club, dancing together and drinking (just to loosen up, not to get wasted)

You go to the bar to refill your drinks, and let a stranger hit on you, flirting back a bit until he offers to buy you a drink

You let him, because hey, a free drink is a free drink, and it’s not like Asmo hadn’t done the same thing before

Suddenly you feel a tight hand on your shoulder and you’re ripped away from the demon

Asmo drags you outside the bar, to an isolated spot beside the building

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?? Are you cheating on me??” he explodes, putting his hand against the building behind you, trapping you beneath him

“Asmo, I was just getting him to buy me a drink, I don’t even know who he is” you explain, “Why are you in demon form? It’s not like you haven’t done the same thing, you have no place to be mad”

“Excuse me?! I’m the avatar of lust, I can’t help myself from flirting with everyone, you have no excuse!” he yells, gritting his teeth

You go back and forth, him angry at you for flirting with someone else, him enraged at you for thinking he can control his urges

“Asmo, I’m always understanding of when you flirt with others, because I know it’s hard for you to control yourself. It hurts me to watch you do that, but I let you do it. I bite my tongue. I do that for you every time we go out, you should be able to let me do what you do every time at least once”

“I don’t care, I don’t want you flirting with other demons. Now let’s go, you’ve ruined the night and I want to go home”

Beelzebub

You’re snacking in the kitchen on some of his leftovers, scrolling through your D.D.D.

He walks in, “MC…”

You look up, instantly freezing when you see the anger in his eyes

“Beel…”

He erupts, “You’re eating my food!! How could you!!”

You drop it, “Beel, I’m so sorry, I thought it was okay…”

“Why, because we’re dating? That means nothing when it comes to food!”

His words hit deep in your heart, and you feel tears start to well in your eyes

All you can do is quietly apologize

“Damnit!” he yells, slamming his fist on the table hard, but not hard enough to break it

“I’ve made it so clear not to eat my food! Ever! Under any circumstances! And no one ever does!! What makes you think you’re special?”

“Beel…” your voice is quiet, “I mean…yes. I love you, Beel, I thought it would be okay…I’m sorry”

“It isn’t okay!! I’ve been looking forward to this all day and you ruined it…” he ranted, “Whatever, I’m leaving”

“Beel, no, please. Let me make it up to you” you say, getting up and chasing him out of the kitchen

But he doesn’t stop, he storms off and locks you out of his room

He’d never snapped at you before, much less turned to demon form because of something you’d done. There had been plenty of stories about Lucifer and Satan turning to demon form, and some of the other demons, but never any of Beel

You didn’t know what to do

Belphegor

He’d been sleeping more than usual, and you missed him

You knock on his door, eventually letting yourself in when he didn’t answer

“Belphie…Belphie…wake up” you whisper

He slowly wakes up, “MC…what…is everything okay?”

You reassure him that everything is okay, and that you just wanted to spend some time with him

He rubs his eyes and shakes his head a bit

Suddenly, he’s in demon form, and you have no idea what is happening

“You woke me up for that?? Because you want to spend time with me?? Ugh!!!” he yells

“Belphie…” you whisper, stepping back towards the door

“You know how much I need sleep, why would you wake me up for something as unimportant as you wanting to spend time with me!”

He’s steaming, “And don’t call me Belphie!”

You start shaking a bit, “B-Bel…Belphegor…” you whisper, feeling hurt and betrayed

“Leave!! I don’t want to spend time with the person that disturbed me!” he yells, walking towards you quickly

You flinched as he approached, not sure what he was going to do, but he just opened his door and shoved you out

He locks the door behind you, the click of the lock causing your heart to sink a bit

You place the palm of your hand against his door, “I’m sorry…” you whisper, sinking to your knees

--------------------

A/N: This got a bit general angsty, so I hope it’s okay! Thanks for the request, anon :) My inbox is open for anyone who wants to request! You can send in more than one per person, about any of the fandoms found in my post here. Love you guys <3

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

Sketch me ‘til forever

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

I am a simp for these boys. That is all.

This is kinda angsty but not really, but I just wanted to write a paint me like one of your french girls kinda of thing, so here we are lol.

>Admin 𝕋

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The sound of the fine tipped pencil on parchment paper was calming as you read your book. Nothing was as calming and quiet as when you sat on the cool ground with a good book and Albedo behind you, sketching anything he deemed worthy. Usually it was a hilichurl or two, maybe a large snowy mountain that glistened in the afternoon light of the sun. You weren’t sure what it was exactly  he was sketching this time, but the way he fervently stroked lines onto the paper, you thought it was something he was particularly passionate about.

Slowly closing your novel, you scooted in your makeshift seat and stared at him, though he didn’t see you watching him, didn’t even look up to you. “Al.” You called out, but was ignored.

“Albedo.” You said his full name this time, a little louder too. And this time he heard you, flinching and stopping his ministrations. Albedo didn’t say anything, but you knew he was asking what was wrong, with his eyes. “What are doing over there that is making you concentrate so hard?” You asked, getting up to see for yourself.

Albedo shifted his eyes uncomfortably, holding his sketching notebook to his chest closely. “It’s not of your concern.” He muttered to you, and you could have sworn he was blushing.

“Oh, don’t give me that. Whenever you become this invested in something, you want to tell the whole world about it. Let me see, Al, I’m curious.”  You stated trying to look over his shoulder, but he just tucked the notebook further into his chest, making sure you couldn’t see an inch of it. “Come on, please?” You begged this time, leaning into his back and wrapping your arms around his middle, cuddling into him. 

It was a trick you had learned that worked like a charm when you wanted Albedo to do something for you. Was it a tad bit underhanded? Maybe, but it was a win win for both of you, so you couldn’t be bothered to care.

Squeezing lightly, you grumbled into his back. “Why won’t you show me?”

“Because, it’s a bit embarrassing.”  He replied, bopping the back of his head onto yours. You sighed into his shoulder blades, contemplating on what your next move should be. Going right for the notebook would upset him, so that was out of the question. You could persuade him with his favorite treat, or bargain and get him some new art supplies of he showed you. Yeah, that could work, you thought to yourself crawling around so you were in front of Albedo now, your arms still around him. 

But when he saw your pleading eyes, even before you could persuade him, he huffed out an amused chuckled and looked down to the notebook. “Okay, I will show you, but don’t tease.” He told you. You smiled, glad you wouldn’t have to spend money on expensive art tools, and let go of Albedo so he could show you what he has been making. 

It was surprising, when you saw a figure that looked almost identical to you, sitting in the same position you were in before. The lines he made created soft edges so that it seemed like you were glowing, your face has an expression of peace, tranquility. It was probably the book that made you look like that, but the way Albedo captured your face like so, made you wonder why he didn’t become a professional painter. There was so much thought and love into the drawing, it almost took your breath away. “I was having a hard time trying to figure out what I wanted to draw,” Albedo said with clarity, looking between you and his drawing, “and when I saw you with your book, my chest tightened and I just had to sketch you.”

“...Why? I wasn’t doing anything particularly enchanting.” You muttered, a withering laugh escaping your lips. Albedo stared into your eyes, moving between them as he tried to find the right words. And when he did, he put the sketchbook down, setting it next to him and gently clasped your cheeks in his hands. Moving close, just enough so that your vision was filled with only his eyes, face, lips. Him. 

“When I saw you, that look on your face, the wind tussling your hair, the sunlight making a halo around your body, I couldn’t stop myself. You say you aren’t enchanting, and yet, to me, you are the most enchanting and mysterious of all.”

“Albedo, I’m just human, I am not even a rare species to be found.”

He shook his head, pulling you ever so closer. “No, you are completely ordinary in every sense of the word.” You opened mouth to call out his contradiction, but he put a finger to your lips and continued, “What makes you so mysterious, special, in my eyes, is the feelings you make me feel. Emotions that I never knew I had. And in that moment, my emotions were so overwhelmed, bursting at the seams, and I had to sketch it before I exploded.” He was near whispering by now. Your nose was touching his lightly, and it took everything in you to not kiss him then and there. 

“I wanted to have something of you, something eternal, something I look at when you are gone and not near me. I--needed something so that if one day you are gone from this world--from me--”

“Albedo--”

“Then, I will never forget you. And I will never forget to love you.”

Those words were like twin daggers piercing into your heart, making it bleed pain and achiness, that of which you have never felt. You took his hands in yours and squeezed them tightly, and you felt pressure under eyes, trying to fight the tears. “That will never happen.” You rasped out, your throat hurting. “We live a long long life together, you and me. Us. Together. Forever.”

You saw him shake his head, and you squeezed his hands harder. “No. No. We will. I will make it happen.” The finality in your voice cause Albedo to swallow whatever he was going to say, and he smiled only for second before landing a gentle onto your lips. Sweet bliss; that is what is always felt when he kissed you, and you could only respond in kind, angling your head to deepen it, your heart pounding. 

One, two, three kisses, with no signs of stopping. With each peck becoming more heated. You pushed Albedo back down to the ground, your knees laying purchase on either side of his hips, and continued kissing him until your lungs were on fire, and with a groan you begrudgingly pulled away. He looked back to you, panting, his eyes full of love. 

It was too much to see, and if you looked even one more second you knew you were going to burst into tears, the ones you were trying so desperately to hold back. And so you hid into his chest, nuzzling into his neck so he didn’t see them fall. 

Of course, Albedo felt them, but he didn’t say anything, only pet your hair as you silently cried. 

He would never forget you, he wouldn’t allow himself too.

As you sobbed into his shirt, he held you closer, wrapping himself around you, as if to protect you from the harm that he knew will come for you. From what harm? He didn’t know yet, but he knew it was something. Something that always worried you, but you never told him about. He knew not to pry. But he didn’t need to know, because you were here, with him, now. In the present. 

And so, he will never forget.

And will forever love you. 

[igotbulletproof-insomnia]

Adopting Bangtan 08

01 previous

Supermarket Sweep

You were never going grocery shopping with seven kids ever again in your life.

The chaos. The absolute chaos was something that you somehow never expected. You actually thought that shopping with all seven kids would be the most efficient way to accomplish the task. Sit Kookie in the cart and let him “help” you by picking out the area to shop and hold the bags while you pick the vegetables. Send Yoongi and Namjoon to buy the snacks because they were the most sensible of all of the children and wouldn't have you spending way more money than necessary. Let Taehyung and Jimin retrieve the bread and the milk. Let Seokjin pick the meat because he was surprisingly talented at the job. And then everyone was supposed to meet you back at the shopping cart, still located in produce, so that you could pay and you all could go home. It should have taken thirty minutes, tops.

Instead, you found yourself chasing Taehyung around the store while Jimin kept an eye on Jungkook and you really, really hoped that he didn’t grab the most expensive apples on display, but you have the feeling that he would — because of course, he would. Prices didn’t seem to exist to any of the younger kids.

Instead, Jin was throwing a fit because all of the meats on display were apparently complete rubbish and he refused to let you spend money on anything but the most expensive cuts of beef so you “just have to” make another stop at the actual butcher’s shop. Granted, if Jimin spent all of your money on asparagus, your family would be eating vegetarian this week.

Instead, as soon as you managed to grab Taehyung, who apparently just wanted to replace Jungkook as your shopping partner, Namjoon appeared with a reasonable request for more variety in tea for the house. Which opened up a whole new can of worms as Taehyung realized he can ask for things too. This had him running back to Jimin and the shopping cart with a grin on his face, demanding that they find the snack aisle because you were going to buy them extra snacks if they asked, and Jimin’s face lit up with a smile so bright that dammit, it was going to be hard to explain what a budget was and why it wasn’t a good idea to exceed it.

(and yeah, you checked. Jimin grabbed the most expensive radish and lettuce he could find, and you were going to have to break out the vegetarian cookbook.)

(except for the bananas. It seemed Jungkook picked up the bananas)

Thankfully, Yoongi — lovely, beautiful, blessed Yoongi — had been returning to the shopping cart with his arms full of a variety of snacks, all low in price but high in popularity at home. He took one look at the chaos of whining and fussing children, rolled his eyes heavenwards, and took control.

“You get one.”

His tone left no room for argument; even you stood straight and stopped making a scene. Yoongi led the group back to the snack aisle and replaced everything he picked and let the others run wild. Together, you watched the others pick out snacks and place them, one by one, into the shopping cart.

“... They’re going to blow the snack budget like this,” you commented idly.

“I know.”

“That’s why you put the rest back, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“And these snacks aren’t going to last as long as they usually do, will they?”

“Not at all.”

“Thank goodness you’re so smart,” you ruffled his hair. “This is why I keep you around.”

“You keep me around because you don’t want me living by myself and I save you from going broke.” Yoongi’s tone was as matter of fact as ever and you couldn’t help but grin.

“Like I said, smart kid.”

Yoongi grinned back. You liked the fact that these kids didn’t take you too seriously. You had a good balance of deference, respect, and playfulness with all of them, even if you weren’t sure who actually ran the household most of the time. “Go pick you something, Yoon. You don’t have anything for yourself.”

“You can’t afford what I want.”

“I probably can’t afford what anyone wants, they aren’t paying attention to the prices.” And indeed, Taehyung and Jimin, your babies with the most expensive tastes, were debating the merits of two snacks that were way outside of the price range you would normally consider. But again, Jimin’s smile was so broad that you were reluctant to tell him no and watch that fearful, nervous look fall back into place. You would talk to him about budgets and restrictions another time. “I’ll make it work, don’t worry about it right now.”

With a grateful smile, Yoongi asked you to grab the snack he wanted, placed just out of his reach on a top shelf. It wasn’t priced too far out of budget, but it was different from the things he normally selected for your busy household of eight. You made a mental note to pay attention to how much Yoongi enjoyed the snack and check the stores for similar ones. The kid did so much and asked for so little, it would be nice to do this one thing for him.

“Wait a moment…” you frowned, counting off. “Where’s Hoseok?” Immediately all of the children quieted down, looking to each other as if to confirm that yes, someone was missing.

“Wasn’t he supposed to go with Jin-hyung?” asked Namjoon.

“No, I thought he was keeping Jimin and Taetae company?”

“Oh my God, you lost Hoseok.” That accusing tone came from Taehyung, and you watched Jimin’s face go from lightweight confused to completely devastated. You hated it, had suspicion that he was wondering if you would eventually do the same thing to him, if you would get bored or disappointed or angry and cast him off, lose him in a store or at a park like Hoseok explained happened to him, like all of Jimin’s previous parents did to him.

“Okay, boys,” you shouted, uncaring of the stares you attracted. The boys startled, but gave you their full attention, which was one hundred percent more than you’d had the entire grocery trip. You continued to speak firmly, and could tell the show of authority did more to calm their panic than the shouting. You decided that they needed to focus on something other than their lost brother. “This is what we’re going to do: Namjoon, you’re going to take Taetae and Jimin and get the bread, milk, and all the dairy stuff like I told you before, okay? Add eggs to that list. Yoongi, go get the paper products. Get the brands we used to get, not the ones we used last time, they’re cheaper and sturdier. Seokjin, we’ll go to the butcher’s if we have the budget when we finish here, but I promised we could have meat for dinner, so take Kookie and find something, okay?” All of the boys nodded at their assignment. “Good. Yoongi, Joonie, find Jin when you’ve got your things. Seokjin, when you’ve finished, wait for me in produce. You all understand? I’m going to go find Hoseok. He probably got distracted and can’t find us.” Hoseok had a habit of doing that. He often got lost among the chaos, because while everyone was being loud and boisterous, Hoseok was often quiet and did the things that went unnoticed. If you assigned dairy, meat, and snacks, then Hoseok probably went off to grab paper towels or rice or something you needed at home but forgot about. You wouldn’t be surprised if he came to the store with the list Yoongi and Jin never felt the need to write.

So the kids separated, worried and mumbling to each other, but occupied with their tasks. They were trusting in your ability, in your promise to locate their missing brother before you all went home. Whether these kids were abandoned by their parents (or maybe ran away from home, Seokjin never discussed why he chose to stay with his former teacher) , you found them and chose to take care of them. It was understandable that they would be worried. Up until now you had probably seemed like some sort of savior to them. Maybe not infallible, and definitely not… whatever it was that made other adults seem parental, but you had taken care of them, kept track of them, and protected them. Losing one of them had probably shaken their hearts.

It didn’t take long before you Hoseok as you predicted, standing in the frozen section, a piece of paper and pen in his hands. He bit his tongue as he read through it, humming to himself and ticking off items. A hand basket sat at his feet, overfilled with supplies.

“I’m pretty sure you should have an actual shopping cart for that,” you told him. Hoseok startled, jumping nearly a foot in the air and shouting in surprise. The petty, upset parent part of you feels satisfied for it, like Hoseok got what he deserved for scaring you the way he did. The more rational part of your brain is just glad that you were right and he hadn’t been kidnapped. Casually, you looked over the basket. “I didn’t even think about checking the spice cabinet. You’re a clever kid.”

“I just wanted to be helpful,” Hoseok replied with a shrug.

“It would have been helpful if you told me where you were going.”

“... I didn’t do that?” Hoseok’s eyes went big and wandered left and right. He seemed to be making himself smaller, pulling his arms close and leaning away from you.

“No, you didn’t.”

“I… oh.”

“We got very scared,” you explained. “We thought you got lost. The other boys were panicking.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you, I just… everyone else got an assignment and I didn’t, so…”

“So you thought I wouldn’t notice if you disappeared for a bit.” You nodded and ignored Hoseok’s flinch when you crouched down to his level. He wasn’t terribly short, he was actually almost as tall as your shoulder, but it was always easier to have these sorts of talks when you weren’t looming over him. “It’s okay, I’m not mad about you shopping on your own. I’m actually really glad that you took initiative to do something helpful. But you did scare me. I didn’t know what happened to you. I didn’t know if you got lost or ran away or if someone stole you from me. I’m glad I know you well enough to assume you brought your own list, but I was still afraid of being wrong. I really, really don’t know what I would do if you went missing, Hoseok. I haven’t had you for long, but my heart would hurt. I care about you that much, okay? So please, communicate. Tell me when you’re going to wander away, and tell me where you’re going so that I know you are safe.” Hoseok nodded fervently, most likely an effort to convince you he was sincere and wouldn’t disappear on you again. You opened your arms for a hug, You opened your arms for a hug, partially to comfort yourself, but mostly to soothe Hoseok. He looked like he might burst into tears and needed the comfort.

“Okay, good.” You squeezed the kid tight, your hold unrelenting until you felt the kid push away. “Alright, let me see that list of yours.” Together, you and Hoseok went through his list, and you were amazed that he was so thorough. Apparently the kid started taking stock as soon as you mentioned the intent to go to the grocery store earlier in the week. Hoseok noticed that you had a habit of leaving something out and he thought that making a list would be helpful. When you decided that you were going to take all of the kids with you, he decided to just hold on to the list himself.

“From now on, you’re making grocery lists,” you decided as you made your way back to Jin. “Maybe even all of the lists if you’re this organized. What do you think of that?”

Hoseok grinned, obviously proud of himself. “I think that sounds awesome!” He cheered. “Is this like how Yoongi gets to be in charge of the budget and Jin is in charge of the kitchen and Joonie is in charge of all of us?”

“Kind of yes, something like that,” you said. “Because obviously I’ll lose my head otherwise.”

“I’m sure we’ll keep track of your head too if you want.”

“Ah, why are all of my kids so snarky? I don’t deserve this,” you cried, hugging Hoseok more tightly to your waist. “All I do is give them love and a home, and they pay me back in sass.”

“But you love us, right?” Hoseok asked. His voice was a little softer than before, and you saw it for the genuine question that it was, not the joke that it would have been had it come from Jin, Joon, or Yoon.

“Of course,” you told him. “Don’t you doubt that for a second.”

When you went searching for the rest of the kids, you found them standing by Jin with the shopping cart, all lined up on the side of the aisle and eerily quiet. Even Jungkook in the shopping cart was holding his hands in his lap, eyes down cast.

“Do I want to know what happened here?”

“No,” was the resounding answer.

“Okay, good.” You shake off your curiosity. Whether that was because you trusted Seokjin or because you were afraid of the answer, you were undecided. “Hoseok, do you want to delegate tasks? We have a few more things on your list, right?” Hoseok noded, and set about sending his brothers off in pairs to retrieve the remaining items on his checklist. After the two sets had wandered off, Hoseok looked up again.

“Could you…?”

“Seokjinnie, you good by yourself?”

“I’ll have Kookie with me, it will be great.” Jin shrugged and you rolled your eyes.

“We’ll still meet over in produce when you’re finished, okay?”

Jin huffed his frustration at the meat selection. “I think we’re just having fish tonight. Is that fine with you?”

“If it’s okay with your brothers, it’s okay with me.”

“They’ll be fine with it,” Seokjin declared. His tone said he was still very irritated with whatever happened while you were gone.

“Get some cheaper produce when you’re finished, please.”

“Sure thing,” Seokjin agreed absently, wandering further up the aisle.

“Holler if you need me,”

“I will.”

“Just don’t scare everyone when you do.”

“Now you’re just taking away my fun.”

After all of that, you spent another fifteen minutes in the store. The trip to the butcher’s shop was put off for the following night, and you all made the unanimous decision to eat ramen and kimchi for dinner. You were also very loud about never bringing seven kids grocery shopping ever again.

That was, until two weeks later when Jimin’s adorable pout convinced you that they would be on their absolute bestest behavior (spoiler alert: they weren’t).

To find more of my child-bangtan fics, select the "Collecting Strays" tag at the bottom of this page ^_^

[fellulahh]

The brothers accidentally hurting MC during a heated arguement?

I didn’t want to make this an angsty piece so I’ve made it where the brothers don’t directly hurt MC themselves but more of a situation where she was in the wrong place at the wrong time!

He accidentally hurts MC during an argument where he’s being a drama queen

Lucifer:

Lucifer and MC were in his study one evening having a lover’s quarrel. Diavolo seemed to have been working Lucifer harder and harder lately and it was beginning to show. He’d miss dinner, he’d arrive home late every evening, he wouldn’t come up to bed because he’d accidentally pass out on his desk and his eyes had dark circles around them.

Naturally, MC wasn’t going to sit back and allow it to happen and told Lucifer she wasn’t happy with how the Prince was treating him. “You don’t understand, MC.” He sighed. “I made a pledge to Diavolo - I have to do everything he says!”

“You made a pledge, not a life sentence Lucifer! Look at you - you’re exhausted.” She cried desperately as she rushed to his side.

Not realising she was stood behind him, Lucifer spun around with one of his many books in his hand as he was about to argue. But before he could say a word, his hand collided with MC’s head. After feeling the impact of the book, she stumbled back, completely shocked at what happened.

“MC...” Lucifer breathed, immediately dropping the book. “I’m so sorry, I hadn’t realised you were there.” He shook his head as he pulled her straight into his arms. “Are you okay?” He asked desperately as his anger turned into immense guilt.

Letting out a deep breath as she held her temple, MC’s glassy eyes met his as she tilted her head. “Will you listen to me now?” She whispered.

“Of course.” He nodded vigorously before sighing, “I’m so sorry.”

Mammon:

“Mammon you need to be realistic babe, you’re going to get yourself hurt if you keep meeting up with these witches!” MC pleaded with concerned eyes as she watched the demon pack his bag. “You don’t need to keep thinking of all of these schemes to make money...”

“But MC it’s who I am!” Mammon cried as he frantically searched for his wallet.

“Babe please don’t go! I don’t want to see you getting hurt.” MC worried.

As he failed to find his wallet, Mammon grew more and more frustrated. Picking up his rucksack, he moaned when he didn’t find it underneath. In a moment of anger, he threw the bag to one side, forgetting MC was standing nearby. As soon as it left his hands, he immediately regretted his actions.

Snapping his head to face her, he winced as he watched the heavy bag hit MC and nearly knock her to the floor. His expression immediately softened as he ran to her side and clutched her body tight. “My human!” He cried as he squeezed his eyes shut. “Please don’t be hurt, I didn’t mean to hit you!”

“Mammon.” MC sighed as she rolled her eyes, “I’m okay - you didn’t even throw it that hard.”

“I’M SO SORRY.” He wailed as he ignored her words, rocking her body back and forth. “Please tell me what I can do make this better.”

Smiling to herself, MC met his eyes. “Don’t go tonight.”

“Fine, I won’t!” He shook his head, clutching her tight.

Levi:

Levi was pacing up and down his room in his demon form as MC watched him from the side. She never meant to upset him. She’d been concerned about how much time he’d been spending on his console lately; he hadn’t slept in days!

Wanting him to look after himself more, MC confronted him but Levi was having none of it. He started claiming how he was a ‘stupid otaku’ and even MC was ‘beginning to see it.’

As his chest rose up and down as he continued to walk up and down his room, he hid his face in his hands. “Levi please just lay down - you need to rest.” She sighed.

“You think it too don’t you? I’m just a useless otaku who can’t look after himself.” He sulked as he spun around to pace again.

However, in his quick movement, his tail flicked toward MC, striking her on her bare leg. “Ow!” She quickly cried as she was whipped. Immediately in a moment of panic after realising what he’d done, Levi turned back into his normal form.

“M—MC!” He whispered as he gawped at her leg. “I—I didn’t mean to!” He spoke as his eyebrows furrowed.

“I know babe.” She sighed, rubbing her leg. “Will you just calm down and talk to me now or do I need to whip you too?”

“N—no no, I’ll talk.” He nodded his head as he cooled down. Not that he’d mind being whipped by MC...

Satan:

It was late one evening and Satan was having one of his moments of wrath. Lucifer had annoyed him as usual and now he was up in his room tearing the place apart. MC had rushed to his side after hearing all of the noise.

“Satan what are you doing?!” She shouted at him as she entered the room. “You’re destroying your room!”

“I don’t care, MC.” He seethed, pulling one of the bookcases over. “I hate it here!”

“Satan please - your books.” MC cried, watching him wreck everything he loved. “Please don’t do this because of Lucifer, it’s not worth it.” She pleaded as she stared at the growing mess that surrounded them.

“MC please don’t get yourself involved in something that doesn’t concern you.” He muttered, chucking books over his shoulder.

As he was too busy taking his anger out on his surroundings, he hadn’t considered where he was flinging the various objects that he tore from the shelves. Grabbing a photo frame, he tossed it carelessly. He went to grip the next item he could find but stopped as soon as he heard MC cry.

Spinning around, his eyes widened when he saw her gawping at him with the broken photo frame at her feet. “Shit!” He mumbled to himself angrily before appearing at her side. “Are you okay? Fucking hell i’m such an idiot.” He seethed. “I’m so sorry, MC. I should have listened to you.” He spoke as he held her tight and kissed her forehead. Although she didn’t answer him, she accepted his hug. She knew he never meant to hurt her.

“Will you please calm down now?” She asked dramatically, hoping to make him laugh.

Asmo:

“Asmo baby can you come here? You look fine!” MC insisted as she watched the demon fret over his broken hair straighteners. “You don’t need to fix your hair, it looks perfect how it is.”

“MC I’ve got to look perfect for tonight!” He sighed as he got ready for his birthday party. “But everything is going wrong!” He cried after noticing his nail varnish had smudged. “Uh, could this get any worse?”

“Asmo!” MC chuckled, “stop it - you look handsome the way you are now.”

“But MC!” He shouted desperately, “you don’t understand - you know I have to look my best otherwise I’ll be uncomfortable for the whole night.”

“Babe stop being silly.”

“I’m not silly!” He spoke dramatically, opening the drawer to his dresser and quickly chucking his hairbrush out of the way to try and find his nail polish. He hadn’t thought about his actions until he heard an ‘oof!’ Behind him.

Turning around, he tried to hide his amusement as MC glared at him. In his moment of being a drama queen, he hadn’t realised that the hairbrush had bonked her on the head. “Did I get you sweetie?” He giggled at her playful scowl.

“Yes.” She muttered. “Now get your ass ready before I tell people that’s not your real hair colour!”

“You’d never?!” He gasped, immediately losing his smugness. “I’m sorry MC! I didn’t mean to!”

Beel:

“Beel please calm down.” MC sighed as she sat on the counter in the kitchen.

Mammon had eaten Beel’s custard again and like before, the Avatar of Gluttony hadn’t reacted very well. He was turning the kitchen upside down as he lashed out. MC had never seen Beel so angry before - it was amazing how food had such a big impact on him.

“He just can’t control himself can he?!” Beel exclaimed, “why does he have to be so selfish?”

“Beel baby it’s just some custard.” MC tried to reason, “we can go out and get you some more? I’ll pay!”

“That’s not the point MC! He has no respect.” He sighed as he swiped a jar of pickles off the counter.

“Beel!” MC cried as her eyes widened at the sight of the jar coming her way. Smashing on the wall beside her, a shard of glass caught her arm.

“MC!” He gasped as he saw the small trail of blood trickle down her arm. “Oh no no no!” He shook his head as he frantically searched the room for a plaster. “Stay still!”

MC watched him with sad eyes as he began to panic. Although she was upset that it got to this point for him to calm down, she was glad to see that his anger vanished as he began to worry about her.

Walking up to her as he found a plaster, he looked at her with hurt eyes as he tended to her small cut. “I’m sorry.” He sighed, feeling heartbroken that he harmed her.

“It’s fine.” MC smiled simply at him, ruffling his hair. “You didn’t mean to you big clutz. Now tidy up this place before Lucifer sees!”

Belphie:

MC and Belphie were sat in his room as he was moaning about the upcoming ball they’d been invited to at Diavolo’s palace. While she was really excited for the event, Belphie was not.

“Belphie I thought you’d put everything in the past!” MC sighed, “Why do you still have something against Diavolo?”

“I don’t have to explain myself.” He shook his head as he stared at the wall. “I don’t always have to have a reason for everything!”

“Yes but Belphie everything’s different now.” MC spoke softly, trying to get him to level with her.

“I don’t care!” He shouted, standing up from the bed and moving across the room. He shut himself in the bathroom as he tried to cool down but it was no use.

Waiting outside for him, MC tried to listen to his mutters as she pressed her ear to the door. She hadn’t heard him coming and never moved as he forced the door open again. Hitting her abruptly, she fell to the floor as Belphie pushed his way back into the room. “MC!” He exclaimed worried. “Why’d you have to stand there?!” He asked as he crouched down beside her on the floor.

Groaning to herself as she clutched her head, MC sighed. “You’re definitely coming to the ball with me now.” She mumbled.

Defeated, Belphie sighed. “Fine. But don’t think you can hide behind doors every time you want to get your way.” He spoke, earning a playful slap from MC.

[sailordiavolo]

suicide prevention month 2021 - things that helped me stay alive

i heard that this month is suicide prevention month in the united states. as someone who’s struggled for many years with suicide myself, and is currently in the mystical “better place”, i feel it’s my duty to open this can of worms. i am unafraid of the stigma that comes with discussing such things.

i’ll go over things that helped me to cope during dark times. these may also apply to being depressed in general (?) because no offense but “drinking water” doesn’t help as much as google seems to think it does. note that these aren’t be all end all solutions, more like techniques that helped me to stay sane on some of my worst days.

1. get rid of everything that’s an immediate danger to your health.

if you’re actively a danger to yourself, safety-proof your home. don’t keep sharp objects lying around, or anything dangerous of the like. get rid of anything toxic or chemical, and don’t keep medicines in excess.

2. if you can’t make yourself happy, try to mildly amuse yourself instead

thinking “happy thoughts” doesn’t really work for me, especially if i’m in the throes of a depressive episode. i do have many things that make me happy, but i seem to forget about all of them in dark times. that being said, really dumb jokes get me every time. if i can make myself laugh, smile or chuckle, i’ve already made it 10 times easier for myself. and if i can do that, usually it’s easy to make myself forget about the original reason i was upset in the first place.

dear reader, i don’t know what would count as “mildly amusing” to you, but here’s some things that work for me.

i have a self care playlist on youtube. mine’s pretty dumb, but making a playlist like that of things that you find entertaining or amusing might help. another amazing one is distantcry’s worst beat ever collection.

very specific songs that really get me going include metrostation’s shake it, botdf’s bewitched, rm’s expensive girl, and she past away’s ruh.

3. do some self care activities

self care is very very important. when you feel like you’re absolute worst, that’s a free pass to be as selfish as you need to be until you feel better. no job, no person, no drama is worth dying over. all of that can wait until after you’re finished what you’re doing. if you’re not really sure what to do as self care activities, i’ll list some suggestions.

take a hot bath, if possible. if you have the resources, add bubbles, flower petals, bathe salts or candles. i did this the other day and sat in the bath and ate crumpets. it was amazing. if not, have a steaming hot shower. (i know it’s hard to find the energy, but it’ll help, i promise)

watch your favourite childhood show, or your favourite show at the moment, or play a video game.

sleep all day, or take the day off.

eat your favourite food, or the best food available to you right now.

spend some money if you have it. personally, i never spend all my money in a week, i save some in case i have a panic attack or something so then i can spend money on something totally random to make myself feel better.

change up your appearance. i usually end up cutting my hair short or randomly dying it, but this can also mean dressing in a way that makes you feel good, painting your nails, or doing your makeup.

4. know how to comfort yourself

this is related to the last one but knowing what brings you comfort is very important. it took me a very long time to figure out what things i find comforting. list the things that you find comforting, and you can use those to help yourself feel better. it might be music, interests, even something abstract.

if you can’t think of anything, then make sure to pay attention to things that make you feel nice/comforted, and list them down. it’s also important to know what will send you over the edge, so you can avoid it.

5. distraction topics

this may help with anxiety as well, but having distraction topics can help you to calm down and forget about what you were worried about. it’s good to have a few distraction topics up your sleeve in case of emergency. i’ll list a few of my favourites, but if you ever need one don’t be afraid to ask me directly, or send me an ask on my blog! i have a ridiculous amount of misc knowledge just floating around.

dinosaur fossils of mothers protecting their nest have been found, meaning that dinosaurs probably felt some form of motherly love. love on earth is billions and billions of years old. creatures have loved each other on this planet since before the dawn of history. imagine being the first organism to love on this planet and what that must’ve been like

some cave paintings were animated. they had different frames painted over each other, and the flickering of a flame in the cave would cause the images to appear as if they were moving. isn’t that extremely profound?

i saw somewhere, that scientists attempted to see what an electron was made out of, or something to that effect. it’s made of a pool of energy, which is essentially nothing. no form, no matter. everything is made out of nothing.

6. romanticise your future

a lot of us probably don’t have a concept of the future, or if we do, it’s something that sounds absolutely horrible. well, forget about that! think instead about how hot n sexy you’ll be in your 30’s, 40’s, etc. don’t worry about how you’ll get there for now, your future self can take care of that. think about your ideal life, and get excited like it’s absolutely going to happen. the more you think about it, the more it will become true.

7. romanticise your current self

nobody in your life understands you? that’s because you’re the hot brooding mysterious one. struggle with very dark thoughts? omg you’d be so powerful as a jujutsu sorcerer. people are staring? it’s because they’re in love with you. people whispering as you go by? also in love with you. no friends? the universe had to keep you humble because otherwise you’d be too perfect. hate the way you look today? you’re just a littel troll babie. the more amusing these thoughts are, the better. and if you think these things for long enough, eventually it will trick your brain into thinking it’s true. who’s gonna check you? the telepaths?

8. put things into perspective

i am prone to delusional thoughts when i’m panicked, and i have to remind myself to reel it in. think about it, you’re more afraid of answering the phone than you are of death? doesn’t sound very cash money of you, bro.

think about how many years you’ve really lived, especially if you think you’ve failed in life. take 12 years off your age, because childhood doesn’t count. also take off any other years which you were forced to live the way someone else wanted you to live, rather than for myself.

for example, i’m currently 23. my household was pretty strict, so i couldn’t really do anything before age 18. which gives me a grand total of 5 years of me trying to figure out life by myself. it helps me to remember how young i actually am in the grand scheme of things, and that i have plenty of time to still figure things out.

9. find a safe outlet for dark urges

for me, art and journaling really helped. music too, especially when i felt like i could relate to either the lyrics, or just the tone/mood/feel of the song. it might be exercise, or you may like to do creative writing or make oc’s. sometimes you may just need a friend or someone to listen.

if you don’t have anyone to talk to, you can message me or shoot me an anon

10. sleep it off

sleep is not going to cure anything, but if i’m pushed over the edge and am struggling with dark thoughts, going to sleep almost always helps. most of the time i still feel like shit in the morning, but no longer in the mood to try anything hasty.

lastly: suicide is not the easy way out

note: i’m gonna be discussing my own experiences with suicide in this part, so if you don’t want to see that, then don’t read past this point

suicide is not the easy way out. it’s messy and it’s ugly and it’s painful and it’s gonna bring out the worst in people. i’ve been struggling with it since age 19.

one particular attempt landed me in the hospital after i swallowed a bunch of painkillers. i couldn’t think or speak properly, i was slurring my words and tripping over myself. my doctor brushed me off and said that it “would probably get better” with time, but it never did. it improved, but my mind has never been the same as it once was, and one of my biggest insecurities to this day is when i struggle to learn new things or get things mixed up that i shouldn’t. i struggle to learn the simplest of things, and my reaction times tend to be very slow.

the point is, sometimes you don’t die, sometimes you just end up hurting yourself in a way that won’t get better. nobody needs that. if had’ve known how to calm myself down back then, i might not’ve tried.

i don’t mind talking about it now, since i’ve dedicated so much time in learning how to uplift myself. i may be in the “better place” now, but you don’t need to rush yourself to be better immediately. sometimes you need to be patient, use baby steps, or learn to accomodate yourself where you are. these things take time. that’s okay.

and remember, you are loved and very much needed to be here on the planet with us.

[anon-rebel-writes]

Of Pink Fairies and Teenage Boys - 1

Hello everyone! I hope you are having a fantabulous day!

This concept is a little strange, but it gets better the more chapters come out! Hopefully the weirdness doesn’t freak anyone out too much XD

The idea was basically just Marinette being a fairy and Luka kinda being in love with how adorable she is. But now it’s a story about Marinette slowly helping him out with different aspects of his life.

I intended this story to be a slow burn, but I’m impatient so it’s going to be five chapters! :D

I hope you all enjoy this piece! It starts under the cut! Ao3 Link

The hot summer rays pierced into the porthole of his cabin. Light danced across his floor in a rich orange hue as the sun set for the day. The divider in the middle of the room was closed off as soft shuffling came from the other side of the wall.

Luka sat on his bed holding his guitar tightly in his hands - the knuckles turning white with from the pressure. His teeth were clenched and his jaw seemed tense. While this was far from normal, lately Luka was finding it hard to keep his usual calm demeanor.

School was officially out for the summer. Most kids were spending it at the pool or with friends, unfortunately Luka Couffaine was not most kids. He saw his mom working longer hours and coming home later than average. While Anarka wasn’t a woman to complain, he saw how not even her bright attitude could outshine the stress.

Luka decided to help out by taking on extra shifts at his delivery job. The money wasn’t crazy, but it could definitely help his mom out. At the end of the day, he just wanted to make her life easier, even if the extra work made his shoulders a little tighter.

His band, Kitty Section, also thought of increasing their practice times. His sister, Juleka, and their drummer, Ivan, wanted to change rehearsal from once a week, to twice a week. It seemed great for them since neither worked or had much to do during summer break, but Luka found himself worn thin from all the extra playing.

Even now, he found himself cringing slightly at the guitar in his hands. When did music become such a chore? All these thoughts continued to plague his mind as his left hand silently fingered different riffs and notes while his right hand merely tapped along the body of the instrument. It wasn’t hard to see that Luka was in a funk. Usually a bit of meditating would help him relax, but miniature distractions always seemed to pull him out of it. They tended to come from his sister, since she usually sat across from his side of the room.

But Luka didn’t want to blame her, it wasn’t her fault. Luka found himself easier to blame. She was just trying to enjoy her free time, it was summer after all. Yet every time she faintly hummed a tune or tapped her desk, he found himself tensing up and feeling frustrated.

The light outside finally left his room and soft snores were heard through the barrier. He barely felt himself moving as he placed the guitar back on its rack. A shaky breath left him as he ran his fingers through his unruly hair. Nothing was working anymore, time seemed to drag on and yet move so fast. When was the last time he worked on his hair? The strands covered his eyes more each day with the blue dye slowly growing out.

He quietly moved off of his bed to change into something more comfortable for sleep. Luka threw on an old band shirt and some red flannel pajama pants. But staring back at his bed, he felt restless. The corners of his eyes felt watery and he held his arms tightly.

Luka didn’t regret any of the stress. He was doing it for his family. It didn’t matter how exhausted he was after riding his bike all day. It didn’t matter that he could barely keep his eyes open during band practice. The only thing that mattered was that he was helping them.

He took a deep breath before trying to shake off the negative feelings. As Luka moved across his cabin towards the bed, the porthole next to his bed swung open, letting in a huge gust of wind. He instinctively tried to shield himself from anything that could fly inside, but nothing but warm air filled the room. After the initial shock, he moved over to the window and closed it tightly again. He looked over at the divider and listened carefully to make sure Juleka didn’t awaken.

Muffled snoring continued to sound out behind the barrier and he felt a small wave of relief flush over him before a soft voice whispered in his left ear, “Wow you look just like your picture.”

At least Juleka was a heavy sleeper so she couldn’t hear the girlish shriek that came from him. Luka jumped away from the voice, falling onto the ground next to his amp. His head turned towards the source of the voice and he saw a little bug flying where his ear was. But it wasn’t a bug, it was a lot larger than a typical bug. Squinting his eyes, he saw that the ‘bug’ looked like a human girl with wings.

“What. The hell.”

The little flying girl attempted to move towards him, but seeing as Luka cowered into the corner of the room in fear, she stopped herself. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you! I’m such a klutz, I don’t wanna mess this up already…”

Luka’s eyes were popping out of his head as he stared at her, trying to rack his brain around whether he had passed out earlier and just forgot. He was tired after work today, surely this must all be a dream. But the little fluttering person continued to ramble, the more she talked, the more Luka realized that this may be real. The bug-person-girl was speaking about an assignment, but then she started waving her arms around, gesturing to him and then her. Luka honestly tried to focus on her words, but her wings were loud and the buzzing sound grabbed his full attention.

“-So that’s basically the situation. Do you understand, Monsieur Couffaine?”

He definitely heard that. How did she know his name already? The girl saw his disoriented expression and sighed, “You didn’t hear anything I said, did you?” He nodded his head and attempted to shuffle closer to his bed, trying to find anything to ground himself.

The girl slowly moved towards him as he finally sat back on the soft surface of his bed. Sitting there was supposed to help him back to reality, but the fabric definitely felt real and not like something he’d feel in a dream. His stomach was knotting and suddenly he felt lightheaded. The flying girl-person-bug perched herself on his guitar and waited for him to settle down. After pinching himself a couple of times to make sure he was awake, he nodded over to her. She gave him a big smile and lifted a hand to him.

“I’m Marinette, your own personal fairy!”

Luka leaned towards her with a finger held out to shake her hand back. Now that he was closer, he could see her a lot better. The girl, Marinette, was surrounded in a soft pink glow. She wore a dress made from varying hues of pink petals. The dress was pulled together on her waist by a small string that tied into a bow behind her. Her hair pulled back into a bun on the top of her head, also tied with string. He squinted and saw that she actually had little feet, and those feet had toes. Which was a very strange thing to be amazed by, considering that she just told him she was a fairy.

In all honesty, despite the strange scenario, Luka found his face burning at her adorable outfit. Which was also a strange thing to think about, because she just told him she was a fairy. “Okay, wow. I have like- a million things going through my mind right now. I’m gonna need a minute-”

A loud snore echoed through the room, interrupting his words. Marinette let go of his finger and both of them went rigid. After what felt like an eternity of waiting to see any signs of Juleka waking up, the fairy flew towards Luka’s face to bring his attention back to her. “Wow. Your sister’s a deep sleeper! Even after your girly scream!” Luka should totally be offended. He should be, but honestly his ego was the least of his concerns.

“Yeah, Jules...she’s good at- I guess- sleeping? I’m sorry, I can’t really focus on her when you’re literally a fairy.”

Marinette let out a soft laugh that oddly sounded sweet, chirpy, and cute. Wait, why was he thinking she was cute?! Not cute. She was not cute. Even if her cheeks were rosy and her hair looked soft and- oh my god why is he thinking like this.

“Well, I guess I should re-explain myself, right? I’m a fairy. We are magical beings here to help humans out when they feel sad. Every fairy is assigned a human to watch over and take care of. After the human is happy again, we wipe our existence from their mind and they go on with their lives. Sounds like a good deal, right?”

While in theory that made sense (honestly it didn’t because up until this point Luka was one-hundred percent sure that fairies weren’t real), he couldn’t help but feel mystified. “Okay...I have so many questions.”

Another chirpy (and cute) giggle came from her and she landed next to him on his bed. “Lucky for you, I may have some answers!”

Luka slowly nodded his head as he watched her walk around his blanket. She honestly couldn’t have been longer than the length of his hand, so seeing her move around really gave him odd feelings, more so than before. “So...Fairies are real?”

Marinette laughed again as she began climbing on his lap. “Yup! We used to roam around in the open, but some awful humans began using us for our magic. Now we hide ourselves and help humans secretly!” Luka looked down at the fairy and saw she began rubbing herself around the hem of his shirt. This was definitely strange. Even if this happened to be a dream, he probably shouldn’t be imagining a fairy rubbing her face against his stomach, right? “Uh- What’re you doing?”

She met his eyes and flew up to his face again. “Sorry, it’s just been so long since I felt such nice fabric. I’ve always wanted to wear cute clothes like you humans do! Your shirt is so soft!”

Not only was he stuck with a mythical creature, but he was stuck with a cute one that happened to enjoy rubbing her face on him. Trying to push any weird thoughts out of his mind, Luka nodded his head and tried to look anywhere else but her. She seemed to sense his uncomfortable aura because she backed away from him and sat on the edge of his porthole. “Why don’t you go to bed, Monsieur Couffaine. I’ll answer all your questions in the morning, okay? A good night’s rest will help get your brain back in working condition!”

Luka looked at Marinette and saw her illuminated by her pink glow and the moonlight. His heart felt like her wings for a moment, but he shook his head to get rid of any strange feelings and stood up. Marinette watched his movements as he walked towards his dresser again and grabbed his blue hoodie.

Her head tilted to the side as she watched him fold it into a small bundle. He walked towards his bed and laid the hoodie onto his amp. Luka looked down timidly at the floor in an effort to avoid her gaze. “I just- I thought a hoodie might be nicer than the window.”

Marinette gave him a soft smile and fluttered back over to his head. She pressed her face into his cheek and then dove into the makeshift bed.

This had to have been a dream. There was no way a fairy just kissed his cheek. Luka found himself a bit dazed at her gesture, so he decided to lay on his bed to try and get some rest. Although with all the adrenaline coursing through his body, he doubted he would sleep for the next week.

At least that’s what he thought before strange dust appeared over his head and his eyes suddenly felt heavier. He glanced over at the nightstand and saw the fairy’s hands twirling in the air out of the hoodie, producing the dust that fell over him.

While this could all be a hallucination due to the lack of sleep he’s been getting lately, he found himself faintly longing for this to not be a dream. A tiny part of him wanted to believe that this could actually be real. But all those thoughts were for tomorrow, right now his body was focused on finally pulling him into slumber. For the first time in a while, Luka found himself peacefully sleeping with a tiny part of him excited for tomorrow.

[mymelodyheart]

All I Want For Christmas Is You Chapter 4 ~Revelations and Snogs~

Previously in A Christmas Request ...

"Claire?"

"Hmmm?" Her voice was like a breathless whisper, and he wasn't sure if he imagined the yearning look in her eyes. It took all his self-control to keep from kissing her right there and then. Instead, he locked down all his muscles and willed himself to think of animals that start with the letter D. And all his damn brain could summon was the word dragonfly.

"May I ask ye a favour?"

"I don't kiss on the first date," she said too quickly, but her words contradicted her manner as she stared at his lips.

"That wasn't what I was gonnae ask ye."

"Oh!" Her eyes flew to his, and she blushed profusely. "Oh, well, that depends on the favour then."

He swallowed hard and leaned forward, taking her hands in his. "Will ye spend the rest of yer holiday with me?" He cleared his throat. "What I'm trying to ask of ye is, will ye stay here until the Three Kings ...until it's time for ye to go back to London?"

She blinked thrice. 

"Alright."

"Alright?" A lungful of air whooshed out of him.

If you wish to read this on AO3, here is the link.

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   Alrighty Beauchamp, what have you just done?

Grabbed life by the balls? Isn't that the mantra?

Nope!

What do you mean nope?

Those are not your words. Not our words.

Yes, they are. You know, live in the moment and la-di-dah!?

Nope, definitely not.

Whose are they then?

Annalise's.

Ah, well ...

Claire mentally shrugged. 

"Sassenach?"

She snapped out of her tunnel vision, then looked at the big hands still holding hers. She was still trying to wrap her head around the idea of agreeing to spend the rest of her holiday with a total stranger. Who are you and what have you done with the ol' Beauchamp? "I'm sorry. I was thinking of Annalise. This is our holiday together, you see. I just agreed to spend the rest of my holiday here without consulting her." She shook her head and laughed despite the conflicting thoughts floating around her head. "I'm quite sure she'll be fine with it. She's the one who's always pushing me to be more spontaneous."

He squeezed her hands. "I'm flattered to be the reason for your spontaneity."

Her face heated. "I've never done this before ...just so you know."

He tried to catch her eye, and when she returned his gaze, he gave her a lop-sided smile. "Neither have I."

Oh, he's so good. Claire blew out a breath and stilled her heart. "That's comforting to know," she said, trying not to look too flustered. Knowing so little about him, she knew she should be wary, but for some reason, she felt safe. Everything about him was brand-new and familiar at the same time. It's as if there had been a melody playing in her head for her entire life, and he'd finally given it words.

"And Analise is welcome to stay too," Jamie quickly reassured her. "Ye said ye're booked at the Airbnb until Boxing day, but I dinnae think there'll be any guarantee ye'll be able to extend yer stay there with it being high season and all. But we have a family cottage that we rent out for the long term, and it was recently vacated. With all the Christmas fuss and work during the past few weeks, we never got around to letting it. Ye and Annalise are welcome to stay there for the rest of yer holiday." And then he grinned. "I'm quite certain my brother would be thrilled with the idea of yer friend staying too."

Claire laughed. "You're probably right. They seemed to have hit it off."

"Ye could say the same for us, don't ye agree?" he asked in a low voice.

She stared at him. How could he looked so calm and collected when she hadn't figured out how to articulate what she was feeling? On top of it all, it seemed he'd perfected the art of persuasion with finesse, so much so, she'd immediately jumped at his invitation to stay in Broch Mordha without a second thought, surprising herself. When it came to the dating game, she would have equated over-confidence to smugness which as a rule turned her immensely off. But there's a sincerity to Jamie's flirting that she found all too endearing and very charming.

She searched his face. Ready or not, she was curious to explore the unfamiliar emotions this beautiful man was drawing out of her. In her history of dating, no man had ever moved her to make her take the leap of faith. Deep down, something always seemed to be missing, and she'd simply put it down to her inability to know what she wanted. To say her hope of finding herself in a romantic relationship had taken a hit would be an understatement.

When her last date had ended in a blaze of abject embarrassment after she was accused of being a cock-tease, she'd decided she was done with men, at least for the foreseeable future. She had a concrete five-year plan, and getting involved with someone when her heart wasn't a hundred per cent into it, wasn't one of them. Annalise continued to hassle her to dive back in into the dating pool head first, but she'd been content to wade in the shallow end. It may have been frustrating to never take the plunge, but at least, there was a nil chance of her drowning in a sea of mistake. But now?

"Baby steps," she whispered.

"Sorry ...I didn't quite catch that."

She pulled her hands from his hold and drank the rest of her already cold Dutch coffee. When she finally placed the mug down, she looked up and smiled at him. "That rental cottage you were talking about, can I at least give you some money for it?"

He shook his head. "No way. In case ye've forgotten, I invited ye to stay."

"But you've been paying for everything all evening. Hardly seems fair."

"Spending my hard-earned quid for the pleasure of a gorgeous lass' company? Every penny spent is worth it if ye ask me." 

When he talked like that, she knew her blush wasn't going to fade anytime soon. "Annalise will disapprove, and I'm pretty sure she will want to have her say in the matter."

"And so will Willie."

"Are you always this stubborn?" she countered.

"Only if I want something badly."

They have a stare-off for a few heartbeats before Jamie tore his gaze away and cleared his throat. 

He glanced down at his watch. "So, the last horse carriage ride around the village is in about twenty minutes. We should probably get going." 

"Horse carriage ride?"

"Aye. Part of the Christmas night tour." He got up from his seat and gallantly offered her his arm. "Shall we?"

It's so old-fashioned and chivalrous, she laughed out loud. "Well, I guess we shall." As soon as she linked her hand into the crook of his elbow, he sucked in a quick breath. "Are you alright?"

He looked down at her hand on his arm and smiled. "Aye. I'm just concerned I might have trouble adhering to yer nae-kiss-on-first-date rule."

They headed out of the cafe and into the frosty air, and she was acutely aware of the low voltage electricity buzzing around them. "Would it help if I put my retainers on? I have them in my bag. I usually put them on at night."

"No, not really. I just have to remind myself of the promise I made to Annalise before we left the pub earlier."

"What promise was that?"

"I promised her I'd behave otherwise ..."

"Otherwise?"

"I have to face the consequences."

She laughed. She knew Annalise's threat so well and by heart as the same lines had been often used to warn her dates in the past. "Well, let me see ...did she say if you misbehave she's going to show you the end of the world up close. And she's going to let you see the kingdom come with your own eyes by sending you straight to the southern hemisphere and letting the ashes of death rain all over you."

He grinned at her. "Something like that. How she's going to achieve that, I have nae idea."

"Never mind how. If you keep on focusing on Annalise's threat, that should be deterrent enough."

He gave her a sceptical shrug. "If ye say so." And then he looked down at her and winked. "But then again, ye're worth tempting fate for."

..........

Claire found herself being hoisted into a festively decorated horse-drawn carriage with twinkling garlands, gold & white berries. To her amusement, even the shire horses were wearing faux antlers. As she sat down, she felt their buggy dipped low as Jamie followed and settled next to her, putting the gift bags on the floor and pulling the woollen blanket over them. As their transport rumbled and creaked into motion, he put an arm behind her, resting it the edge of their seat's backrest, leaving her no alternative but to lean against the curve of his body. His closeness and the motion of their carriage added another layer of tension to her already overworked adrenal glands.

"Comfy?" he whispered, leaning into her, his warm breath on her ear.

"Uh-huh," she managed, licking her lips that had gone suddenly dry. It was a challenging feat to ignore Jamie's presence when his sheer size encroached her space, his thigh brushing against hers and the motion of the ride, sinking her deeper under his arm.

She forced herself to focus on the sounds of the hooves and bells, and admire the trees wrapped in lights, wreaths adorning almost every window, and Santas or nutcrackers standing guard outside front doors. For once, Jamie didn't speak, and she allowed herself to relax, revelling the clean, crisp air of the Highlands. Although Broch Mordha was nothing like London, quieter and had a slower pace of life, the atmosphere in the village was electric. It was almost magical, more natural and everything seemed to make more sense, instead of the rat race that occurred daily and nightly in the big city.

Every year, at around Christmas time, she came back to the Highlands in search of some peace, and every time she returned to London, she always felt like a brand new person, invigorated, well-rested and ready to tackle the New Year. But there was something different about her visit in Broch Mordha compared to the other places she'd been to in the Highlands, and she had a feeling deep in her guts, she'd have trouble leaving this place once her holiday was over. 

"Ye dinnae look tired at all, Sassenach. Ye're used to staying up late?"

She glanced up at Jamie and smiled. "I sleep very little. I don't know, maybe I have insomnia."

"Really? Perhaps it's just a consequence of living in the city. I mean it's loud there, and I presume ye live in a flat where ye can hear the comings and goings of yer neighbours."

She sighed. "Yes, there's that. The flat Annalise and I live in is not really the most tranquil setting. It doesn't help that I am an overthinker."

"What do ye think mostly about when ye cannae sleep?"

"Mostly about work," she shrugged, glancing at the lights overhead that were hung above the streets. "Don't get me wrong. I'm happy, and I'm grateful for the good life I have. It's just that sometimes I think about the day when I would stop searching for ..."

Jamie waited for her to finish her sentence, but she couldn't find the words. "For what?" he finally asked, his hand squeezing her shoulder, urging her on.

"More," she replied candidly, surprising herself with the unguarded utterance that came from her very soul, ragged with honesty and desire for something she didn't have a name for. Yet. Suddenly, the empty place inside her reared up, seeking company. "How about you? What do you think most of at night?" She paused, trying to tamp down the sudden curiosity that flared up, but it was out before she could stop herself. "A certain lass perchance?"

To her astonishment, she felt him tensed beside her, and after a few seconds, he let out a sigh. "I have nightmares," he confided.

Her head jerked up, and she twisted in her seat to look into his eyes. He was probably waiting for her to ask a torrent of questions, but she remained silent, allowing him to set the pace of their conversation. She nodded her head to continue.

"I used to be with the SAS. It's a special force unit for the British army. The unit I was in was responsible for a number of roles including covert reconnaissance, counter-terrorism, direct action, and hostage rescue. My best friend, Simon MacKimmie, was captured while spying behind the enemies' lines. He was a valuable informant for both sides, and my team were under direct orders to get him out of there alive and as swiftly as possible." She watched as his throat worked as if he saw the scene replaying in his mind. "We found him quickly enough and thought we were out of the woods. But the enemy fire broke out just as we were about to board the helicopter. Simon and I were hit, but my wound was superficial, whereas my friend's injury was fatal. I promised him everything would be alright and would make sure he stayed alive for his family. Before he slipped away, he made me promise to take care of his wife, Laoghaire, if he didn't make it. She was pregnant at the time. I didn't hesitate and made a vow to keep that promise."

"Oh, Jamie ..."

He pressed his lips into a determined line. "Months later, I was discharged from the army after I was diagnosed with PTSD. I resigned myself to a quiet life as the flashbacks from the horrors of the war and friend's death worsened. Laoghaire and I became close, as we talked a lot about Simon and I helped her with the things she needed. That was when I found my purpose in life again, and even though I wasn't in love with her, I loved her like I loved Simon so I asked her to marry me so that I could take care of their child. It was a sacrifice, aye, but it was a small price to pay, considering I get to live, and my mate will never get to see his unborn child. So we planned to marry after the child was born. So while we were waiting for the big day, I bought a house for us, and my brother helped me restore it."

"But Laoghaire didnae want to live here. She wanted us to move to Liverpool because she couldnae stand the quiet and the remoteness even though she was born and bred here. I told her we would talk about it after the baby was born. But I was worried that living in the city would make my PTSD worse. Meanwhile, rumours were going around that Laoghaire has been seeing another man when Simon was still alive and that she would often disappear to Liverpool weeks at a time. I ignored it as I didnae care for idle gossips and dismissed it as such. Ye see, she lived and worked in Liverpool before she married Simon; hence, I thought, that was where the rumours had stemmed from. She's a very ambitious lass and has this dream of making it big one day. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I later found out from a reliable source that not only had she cheated on Simon, but she cheated on me while were engaged. I began to wonder if the child she was carrying was even Simon's. While I was building her a house and funding her trips to Liverpool, she was seeing the same man she'd been meeting up with when Simon was still alive. When I confronted her, she admitted to it. So the wedding was cancelled, and she went to Liverpool to give birth to her child and to be with the other man ." 

He shook his head at the memory. "She reminded me of someone I used to pursue. She'd rather be with a man wearing a five grand suit than be with a labourer like me. I guess it's the lure of the city. Sometimes I feel like I failed Simon and his family. I made him all sorts of promises that I couldnae keep and the memory of the glimmer of hope he had in his eyes turning to death, keep recurring in my dreams."

Claire knew the last things Jamie needed were apologies and pities. He seemed like a proud man who didn't shy away from responsibilities and was unapologetically himself. "I guess we both have demons that keep us up at night," she finally said.

Jamie shrugged and waved his hand. "Dinnae fash. I didnae take ye out so ye could watch me wallow. I've done enough of that myself."

She took a deep breath. "I'm not going to pretend I wholly understand everything you've been through, but one thing I know is that you being part of the SAS means you were trained with the elite. You were drilled to save lives, and with that comes, precision and no room for error. So when something goes wrong, and someone dies during your watch, it becomes your fault."

He looked at her as furrows deepened on his brows.

She placed a hand over his. "You tried to absolve your guilt of not being able to save your mate's life by taking care of Laoghaire, who was so undeserving of your kindness and generosity. God or a higher power or the universe, or whatever you wish to call it, is trying to show you something important. You don't get to choose, Jamie. At the end of the day, you can only do your best, but you can't save everyone. No one can. Right now you're learning to live with that, and all you can do now is make sure you get to the other side. You can't take responsibility for everyone's action but yours."

Something lit up in Jamie's eyes. Emboldened by the small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, she grinned at him. "No wonder you won at the caber toss and your team trashed the opponents at shinty today. You have so much pent up emotions dying to come out."

Jamie suddenly laughed out loud and pulled her against him. "I think I need to fire my therapist and hire ye, Sassenach. All this time, we'd circled around the realisation, always walking on eggshells. But ye ...ye just gave it to me straight. I think I'll need ye to stay longer past three kings."

She poked him on the ribs. "Be careful what you wish for!"

..........

A couple of hours and a glass of mulled cider each later, they walked in silence as Jamie guided her down the path that led to the bed and breakfast cottage. As it turned out, he lived three minutes walk away from where she and Annalise were staying.

After spending a whole night out with him, her body was still buzzing with so much energy. She'd never had such a powerful reaction to a man before. Nor enjoyed the company of one as much as she did tonight. She felt like she could uproot all the trees that stood on her path.

"I had a really grand time," he said.

"Me too. Thank you for a wonderful evening."

"And thank ye for the company."

As they neared bed and breakfast cottage, she realised they were exchanging lame small talk, but there's nothing lame about what's passing between them. Either way, she couldn't care less as she'd never laughed so hard in her life.

When they finally reached the small gate, she stopped and turned around to face him. "Well, here we are," she smiled, trying to conceal her reluctance to go.

He hooked the giftbags onto the wooden gate and nodded tensely, the tightness in his jaw quite evident. "Aye. Here we are at Mrs Fitz's place. I ken the ol' dear. She used to feed me and my brother jam piece and milk when we were bairns." He took a step forward and cleared his throat. "I ...um ...tonight was really special." 

"I think so too. Thank you again for everything."

He ran a hand through his hair and blew out a breath. "I'm no' tired yet, so I'm just going to take a walk some more until I'm ready for bed," he said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder.

"Yes, you do that. Fresh air is good for you. And I ...ah ... I'll talk to Annalise about extending our stay here. Ah well ... that's if she's still awake." She rolled her eyes and let out a nervous laugh. "Or if she's home. So ... I'll see you around?"

"Aye, I'm just down the road if ye need anything."

"Yes. Got it. Down the road. A hop, skip and jump away."

He stared for a few heartbeats, then ran his hand behind his neck and gave her a crooked smile. "I meant it, Sassenach. If ye cannae sleep, ye can drop by anytime. I'm a light sleeper. Apart from personalised packaged-tours, I also specialise in making a mean toddy to help ye sleep. And a wicked mushroom omelette if its breakfast ye want. Oh, aye, I'm good at foot massage as well."

She stifled a giggle threatening to burst as a ball of warmth bloomed in her belly. "I have no doubt you're good at those things. I'll bear what you said in mind if I need anything or if I have trouble sleeping. And if I have a sudden urge for a foot massage, I'll pop by."

He shook his head. "Ye're not just saying that to spare my feelings are ye?"

"No. Of course not. I enjoy your company. So ..." Claire took a deep breath. "...this is it. Good night, Jamie. And thank you again for everything." Oh, dear God, I keep saying thank you! She stood on her tiptoes to give him a peck on his cheek just as he offered his hand. Their sudden awkward movement made her lose her balance, bumping her nose on his jaw. They both took a step back and laughed. This time she held out her hand, and he shook it.

They continued to stand there and shake hands, neither of them letting go, their smile slowly ebbing away as they stared at each other.

Jamie was the first to speak. "Right, this is the part where I watch ye walk away."

"Yes. I'll go now. It's getting late." She smiled as she took a tentative step away from him, but he didn't let go of her hand.

Her bottom hit the wooden post behind her as Jamie took another step forward. His height and breadth blocked out the street light, and in the shadows, his expression looked almost pained. She'd had men looked at her with desire before, but nothing like the way Jamie was doing right now. The way his jaw and muscles tensed and his breathing shallowed, she knew it was taking him a lot of effort to hold himself back. Her eyes travelled down to his throat and watched his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed.

"Sassenach." His voice cut through the haze, and her eyes flew to his as he leaned down and cupped her face. "Maybe ye could stay for just a wee while more."

Her heart began to thump wildly against her ribs as the air between them charged. "I really should get going," she whispered, the blood roaring through her ears almost deafening. She willed herself to move, but she remained fixed on the spot.

"Or perhaps ye can just stand here for a few minutes more and let me do this."

She stopped breathing and time stood still as he softly brushed his lips across hers. Then he pulled away for a brief second waiting for her to object, and when she didn't, he kissed her again.

Her brain seized, and her eyes automatically closed. She'd never felt lips so soft nor been kissed with such gentleness. She once read an Oscar Wilde quote, and it said, "A kiss may ruin a human life." It had puzzled her then because up until now, she'd always thought, although some kisses were sweet it was nothing more than two people putting their faces together and exchanging spit. But Jamie's kiss? She knew it had ruined her for any future kisses. This was the type of kiss she never even knew existed. It was the kind of kiss that inspired stars to climb into the sky and light up the world.

She waited with bated breaths for more, but nothing happened.

When she opened her eyes, he was staring at her. "I've wanted to kiss ye from the moment I laid my eyes on ye," he whispered and grazed her lips once more. "Ye've nae idea how beautiful ye are."

Oh, sweet Jesus! He'd barely touched her. It was merely a light brushing of their lips and the slightest sensation of his breath on her face. But it was enough to cause the static crackling between them to be ignited, and she was left wanting more.

Before she could reassemble her thoughts and make sense of her emotions, he stepped away from her and tunnelled his fingers through his hair. "May I please have yer phone, Sassenach?"

"Oh! Wot for?"

He smiled at her. "I'm giving ye my number." 

She reached into the back pocket of her jeans and handed her phone over. She watched him dial his own number on her screen, and after a few seconds later, his own phone rang. 

"There, now I have yers too." He pushed her phone into her back pocket and blew out a breath. "I'll see ye tomorrow?" 

"You want to see me again?" she teased, smiling.

"I dinnae even want to leave ye tonight."

She dropped her head down to hide the heat creeping up her face. "I'll see what's Annalise is up to and we'll take it from there. I'll either call you or send a message."

He placed a finger under her chin and tipped her face up. "Ye're not mad I kissed ye? I havenae forgotten yer rules about first dates."

Claire picked up the gift bags, stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. And then she smiled. "I'm starting to believe the rules don't apply to you. Good night, Jamie." And with that, she turned around and walked towards the cottage without looking back, knowing full well Jamie was still stood there waiting for her until she'd safely made it to the house.

Once inside, she allowed herself to slide down to the floor and relived the memory of their first kiss. And she sat there for a very long time.

Dear Readers,

Here's a little story about this chapter. I got stuck at the beginning of writing this one. So what did I do? I started writing from the middle, then the conclusion and finished the opening in the end. It's common to get stuck in writing, so I thought I'd share this wee tip with you. So just in case, the latest update lost some of its fluidity, you now know the reason why. 😀

Anyway, thank you for reading and your feedback from the previous chapter. It's something I truly appreciate. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I look forward to reading your thoughts. Meanwhile, sending you all best wishes and hope you're taking care of yourselves and your health. x

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Do you think they would actually enjoy the modern world? Or would they want to stay in their current time period?

Hm, well, I think that may vary depending on each suitor if I’m honest! (I’ll be excluding Sebastian from this one, only because he is a modern man and I wager he would want to stay in the mansion in order to finish his thesis) 

Under a cut bc it’s a long boi:

I think for people like Arthur and Theo, for instance--who always seem to live in the fast lane--it might not really prove much of a problem. They would continue enjoying the night life and move with their busy schedules. Tl;dr: (For them? Same shit, different day)

Vincent would likely be doing just fine given how Theo often provides assistance in places where he struggles; to promote his art, to spark intrigue in the general public and benefactors. He might be a little overwhelmed by the influx of stimuli that comes with the modern era, constant noise and interaction and movement--perhaps worry that people are losing their ability to live in the moment. (Not to mention what’s being done to the environment...) There might be a learning curve/adjustment, but I think Theo would help him ease in. Plus, it would be a little easier to promote his art given the less stringent restrictions on public exhibitions. He’d still have to work for his fame, but at least the van Goghs wouldn’t have to live in constant unease in the proximity of the cutthroat academy.  Tl;dr: (Mixed feelings, but tries to stay positive about modern times)

Dazai is more familiar with this kind of life of quick turmoil and breakneck speed, if anything he falls back into his old coping mechanisms--hello writing, drinking, and smoking. An overwhelming influx of information and suffering would probably be hard for him to manage, despite how expertly he hides it. I think I would be worried he would lose himself in the dismal reality of diminished connection with other people. Yes I’m shoving him into therapy, I want him to start living for himself and taking care of himself ffs

That isn’t to say there aren’t happy possibilities for him, just that I think he really needs to heal first. I could see him very happy in a kind of writer’s circle with people he loves and trusts; less expending his energy in a desperate attempt to fill the void and please others, more cultivating his own happiness... Tl;dr: (Positive potential, but honestly part of me thinks the past quieter/simple/rural life suits him better...he still loves meme culture tho, he finds it so expansive and creative)

Isaac is in a similar boat as Dazai, I think! He has wonderful potential as a mentor and professor, and living in a world that has a little more patience and respect for genius might help encourage him to put himself out there. That being said, I think the pace of life would exhaust him though--he is very much the kind of person that prefers to keep to himself and just puzzle and tinker. Baby boy just wants to do equations, build little inventions, and read up on the recent discoveries in astrophysics (BRUH WHEN THE IMAGE OF THE BLACK HOLE CAME OUT HE FORGOT HOW TO B R E A T H E) Napoleon is the only reason he eats anything healthy or on any kind of regular schedule s m h. Tl;dr: (Not a lot changes, honestly? He was reclusive then, he still is now--he just has more toys/academic resources. If anything he might get a little too lost in his work because of it, somebody please make sure he’s eating/sleeping/socializing;;;)

Poor Jeanne is SUFFERING. Please release him from this nightmare he is begging. Jk jk, I don’t think it would be too bad for him--but I do think that he would have the aforementioned problem of too many stimuli and too much interaction. I think he would ease into it a little with Mozart’s help; he would just be awkward and wooden until he got the hang of it. Most people just find him quirky in an amusing way, and don’t think too hard about it. I’d wager he’d probably become literate at this point because of the abundance of resources and necessity to read/write (okay but imagine this baby with a little kid workbook iM GONNA CRY!!! TAKE ALL MY CRAYONS JEANNE). 

Can you imagine this mofo at a Starbucks??? Tall and stoic, dark and debonair (EVERYONE IS S W O O N I N G), and he just asks in a light tenor “can I have a mocha with eight shots of expresso” with a completely straight face. “Sir, that could kill you” “Don’t worry, I’ve been dead a long time” And he just moves to wait for his order. 11/10 cryptid I could watch an entire show just about his daily adventures

He works with Napoleon a lot given their similar skillsets. They coach kids at high schools that have fencing teams (it’s really REALLY cute bc if they’re on the younger side, Jeanne will very dramatically lose bc he wants to encourage them and the kids are delighted--but the parents are INCHES from laughing so hard they’re in tears). Otherwise, he mostly takes up gigs as a security worker/bodyguard, only really works for the money. He prefers to spend his time in ways that feel meaningful if he can, so don’t be surprised if you see him in foster homes and in social working spaces. He has an uncanny understanding about him, a kind of silence/patience that doesn’t stifle; it makes the kids/teens calm down in milliseconds. They really listen when he does talk, and he sets good and clear boundaries--he knows how to be firm when it’s required. He gives them the structure and placid grounding they’ve never had, and really pays attention to what’s important to them. Brings them little things he notices; brings flowers to the one that likes to draw, brings CDs (he is bad with technology, but they usually only have access to older/outdated stuff anyway) to the one the one that struggles to write with white noise in the house, brings little plushies to the ones that lose theirs. He’s simple but solid, and he finds a lot of meaning in helping kids overcome the similar kind of struggles he faced.  Tl;dr: (Steep learning curve, but he just sees it as all the same really--just more work to be done with the literacy requirement and adjustment to technology. Will be resistant at first, but when he gets accustomed and starts finding people who are important to him, he wouldn’t want to change anything/go back. But will admit there are some days he just wants to go to the most remote place he can access and just live there for a month with no human interaction whatsoever; people are inefficient and insufferable sometimes)

Mozart’s life honestly doesn’t change much? I feel like he would easily be able to keep composing and continue releasing his work as per usual. Given his quick capacity to schmooze and say what people want to hear when he must, he’d be more than able to network his way into success. I think the only thing he might struggle with now and again is inspiration, given the world operates on a very surface level in the modern era sometimes. Profound insight and depth are not quite as cultivated in many ways, and he can struggle to find something that just sparks motivation/novelty in his mind, makes him start composing at breakneck speed. He reads a lot and watches some TV shows/movies when he’s at really low inspiration levels, the kind of guy that sneers at Game of Thrones--but finds things like BBC’s Sherlock more passable (wants intrigue and complexity, doesn’t much enjoy the sensationalized drivel). When Arthur finds out he loves ATLA he about falls off his seat. “It’s a children’s show.” “Yes it is, with a remarkable level of depth and craftsmanship, what are you trying to say?” He begins to find a kind of rhythm in his composing, and Jeanne and Dazai often drop by with so many crazy stories he finds himself filled with music anyway LMAO Tl;dr: (Same as Isaac, really just keeps doing his thing without being impeded, and he enjoys the luxuries/conveniences of the modern era. Will be slightly resistant at first because of how alien some of the changes are, but will fall into the habits/customs slowly and surely. Fine with it, will whine a bit at the growing pains tho)

Leonardo actually canonically owns a bar, and does that really surprise anyone? He really enjoys the excitement of meeting new people and hearing about their myriad histories, the influx of cultures/languages/experiences. It’s a nice but lowkey place, people stop for a drink, listen to some good music--chat amiably and relax after a long day’s work--before heading out. There are regulars and people that just stop for that single day; tourists, vacationers, so on and so forth.

When asked, many people note a sleek black cat with sharp eyes that led them to the bar... Tl;dr: (Don’t Let the Existential Dread Set-in: The Prequel, adapts well to the modern era because of centuries of experience but also...he’s so tired...somebody please hold him I can’t watch him live like this, lord jesus)

Optimally, I see Comte filling his time with myriad pursuits; ranging from philanthropy, indulging in art/music/theatre (often a benefactor as well), and keeping track of his chirren (they may exist more independently now, but he still worries about them ;-;). Otherwise nothing much changes for him, still goes to galas and fancy gatherings, still enjoys fashion and spoiling people, still seeks to occupy himself with social interaction and care-taking--if he doesn’t have a family of his own. He’s basically just that meme that’s like DON’T LET THE EXISTENTIAL DREAD SET-IN. DON’T LET IT SET-IN!!!!!!!!! Tl;dr: (Not to repeat myself but also Don’t Let the Existential Dread Set-in: The Sequel, literally just desperately trying to fill the void please somebody help him he also just needs to be held fuck’s sake, I’m going to drag him kicking and screaming into happiness--but otherwise has no great trouble adjusting to the modern era. I feel like he would have a more minor form of what Dazai struggles with, maybe a lack of personable connection that he once had; fewer chances to be himself and relax. Also probably worried about the increasing unhappiness and turmoil building in the world in general...)

Napoleon is similar to Comte in that he often checks up on Isaac and Jeanne from time to time, and does the aforementioned fencing lessons with kids. He also takes a lot of basic security positions--for venues, concerts, museums--you name it. He dislikes the idea of sitting behind a desk a lot, so he prefers to do a lot of different things; he even cooks from time to time at the restaurants  that know him very well. One gig he particularly enjoys is battle choreography for movies/theatre! He tends to stay away from anything too historically close to his era of origin, but he has fun coming up with realistic (smaller scale) hand-to-hand combat scenarios and duels. Tl;dr: (This era doesn’t feel like too much of a change. It’s a little more intensive in terms of pace, but he manages to keep up pretty well, it just exhausts him from time to time--and he usually goes on trips or hikes to unwind when he needs to like Jeanne LOL they do not go to their happy place, they go to their high lonesome place).

Shakespeare also continues to do his drama thing, organizes troupes on tons of different levels--from community level to more intense, skilled groups that re-enact his own work. His life doesn’t change all that much beyond a new form of theatre logistics, and he adjusts to the technology fairly easily out of necessity. He’ll stop by Vincent’s place from time to time to show him recordings of his latest shows, but otherwise is almost always on the move. Tl;dr: (So long as he can keep following his greatest passion, he doesn’t really mind the changes in how theatre happens--he doesn’t have any sizable issues with the modern era.)

Ability with technology (phones mostly):

Arthur: more than capable, well-versed, loves to do everything on his phone no prob--maybe lives a little too much on his phone (Vine/TikTok/Youtube can kill his productivity RIP) also yes he has a fidget spinner on his desk, no I will not be taking any constructive criticism at this time

Theo: yes but with a lot of cursing at first, had to do it for work and now looks down on anyone that can’t keep up with him (except for Vincent)

Vincent: knows the basics, taking and sending pictures, writing things in notes for later, texting (tho sending emails is a little harder for him); he does his best but he can be slow. Really really enjoys the paint programs on his iPad for when he’s on public transit, but he starts setting alarms after he gets the hang of it (he’s missed his stops before because of it LMAO)

Leonardo: what kind of stupid question? Man knows how to pick them apart and put ‘em back together for crying out loud, uses it like a pro--comes to him naturally, and he’s the guy that keeps coming up with ways to jailbreak Apple products and thwart their money-grubbing tactics. Catch him playing Minish Cap on his emulator on the way to work, brah

Comte: just vibing, keeps up with the times easily since he’s been doing it for so long, much like Theo uses it to keep in touch with the people around him--he’s the “prefers to call instead of text” sorta guy though, he worries about losing emotional subtleties and he likes to hear people’s voices. Doesn’t do anything special on phones, more just a tool; will read/listen to podcasts/does have emulators (courtesy of Leo) and enjoys playing Pokemon when he’s bored

Jeanne: types one finger at a time, it will take a while--but he’ll get there (deleted all his contacts by accident once and Mozart was just. HOW.) He barely knows how to use a phone, and it’s a steep learning curve for him

Mozart: purely functional when it comes to his phone, refuses to rely on it beyond the necessities that only tech can do (for instance, sending emails or reading articles or uploading compositions) he still writes his music before making more polished digital copies. He will sometimes listen to pieces digitally, but prefers to play them in-person; he feels that a lot of the soul in a piece is lost despite the convenience

Dazai: you absolute fools. you baboons. why would you ever give him this kind of power. it is 3AM and he has been on a wikipedia trail spanning hours, started with Cleopatra being the seventh in her line with that name all the way to cotton candy being called “daddy’s beard” in French. please help him he hasn’t slept in years. Also probably binges anime and manga lbr. He’s the one making vine references every other second, always up to date on the memes^TM

Isaac: also mostly uses it as a tool for research and calculations; it’s a way to keep track of information. He also likes to play background music while he’s working, so he finds the device nice and convenient--plus less having to go around pestering people in-person. he does start to get interested in coding and tinkering with apps/programs eventually, too

Shakespeare: finds it a delightful little contraption, so useful because it lets him jot down ideas as they come to him quickly, and he can edit his texts much more easily with digital interfaces. also likes that performances can be recorded, because now he can analyze his staging more efficiently--it gives him a good sense of what needs to be adjusted, and encourages him to keep streamlining/try new concepts

Napoleon: likes it because he can keep in touch with people more easily, the kind of guy to drop a line before checking on a friend. he really likes to look up recipes and find out more about cooking techniques he’s never encountered before. Isaac starts making an Instagram account just to show Napoleon’s impeccable plating, and Napo gets quite the following without knowing for a while

[purplesurveys]

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Which fictional character can you not stand?   I know Friends fans universally hate Emily, but Janine from Friends was also unbelievably annoying and I usually skipped her scenes. I also remember groaning every time a scene with Todd would come up on Breaking Bad.

What was the one subject in school that frustrated you because you just couldn’t process it?   Chemistry. I don’t think I ever got a grade above 90 in it, ever.

What do you spend too much money on?   K-Pop merch and food deliveries.

What’s the weirdest compliment you’ve ever gotten?   I don’t get a lot of weird ones, actually. Or maybe I do and I’m just good at forgetting them as soon as I receive them, lol.

What is an occupation that you would like to do just for one day if you had the chance?   I’d love to try being a museum curator.

What do you think people have an unnecessary stick up their ass about?   Refusing to recognize trans and non-binary individuals.

What common advice do you think never works?   “Everything will work out” or anything along those lines. I appreciate when people want to stay positive for me, but sometimes it’s just more helpful to be realistic.

What’s the best movie without a happy ending?   Requiem For A Dream or Revolutionary Road are my go-to sad movies.

What is something you think is actually better about today’s generation?   We pay attention to mental health and take it a lot more seriously. We had literally zero resources for MH when I was in grade school and high school, and it sucked not having that kind of support.

What movies has a worse love story than Twilight?   Yo don’t hate on Twilight my dude. Anyway, I hated The Notebook but I guess it’s mainly because I found the screenplay so flat and the acting wooden, so it’s not really the story’s fault.

What seems obvious to you that doesn’t seem to be for other people?   Using people’s preferred pronouns.

If your partner in the zombie apocalypse was the main character of the last movie you watched, would you survive?   I don’t have a partner.

What’s the worst episode of your favorite TV show?   Honest to god I don’t think I can give you a single bad episode of Breaking Bad. I know people like to hate on Fly though; it’s definitely an acquired taste but I personally found the episode just fine.

You can pick two artists to do a song together, dead or alive, but they have to be from different genres. Who do you pick and why?   I feel like RM and Hayley Williams could come up with a depressing banger. On my end I would fucking choke and die too if that ever happened LOL

What is something you would never buy again, even if you were rich? That’s a good question. I remember coming across this coffee shop that had really nice interior and their food shots also looked super appetizing - but they ended up having the worst ribs or whatever it was I ordered from them. I wouldn’t buy from them again especially if I had other options.

What do you do regularly despite it being considered very unhealthy or unsafe?   I have one meal a day and don’t really drink water until the evening.

What is something that most people find attractive in a person that you find unattractive?   Idk, maybe abs? I don’t necessarily find them unattractive, but they’re just something I can live without lol.

Do you ever use facial masks or scrubs?   I use face masks but not regularly. Only when I feel like pampering myself, which is rare because I like to be quick when cleaning myself.

What do you think of the recent trend of adult coloring books?   It’s not really ‘recent’ anymore as it’s been around for a while, but I love them. I’m terrible at committing to full pages and have never even completed coloring a full image, but they’re nice outlets to have around when I need to calm down or whatever.

Which fictional character do you think you’d be great friends with?   Mr. Peanutbutter from BoJack Horseman. And maybe Rachel from Friends; I feel like I’m most similar to her out of the six.

What would you do if you found out your toys came to life similar to Toy Story? Apologize for being terrible at cleaning up my room, haha.

Do you own any cook books? No, not me. But my dad - who’s a chef - has several.

Is there anything that you’d like to eat right now?   I guess this calls for story time! Hahaha so for context I’m currently handling a fast food brand’s campaign and here in the Philippines they’ve just launched a new limited-time offer line-up of products. I was provided with some of the meals today to try them out, but I just can’t enjoy it fully since it’s the very campaign that’s currently causing me the most stress at the moment, lmao. So as much as I’d love to open up my burger and start digging in, I have to calm down and de-stress tonight first before I enjoy it.

What book are you currently reading?   Not reading anything.

What is something that you believe in, but aren’t very outspoken about? I’m not sure about beliefs per se but I never talk about my interest in punk rock around people just because the topic never comes up.

Do you think weird it’s for someone to have never tried soda?   Mmm, not really. Some people may have been told from the start that they’re prohibited from soda, like for health reasons, so that makes it less surprising to me. I didn’t even try sipping soda semi-regularly till my late teens, so.

Is there any foreign film you recommend?   I mean I guess even American films are technically foreign to me hahaha but for non-American ones, I recommend Portrait of a Lady on Fire, which is French.

do you have the same religious beliefs as your parents?   Not the same as my mom. I’m not sure what my dad’s religious beliefs are, actually. I know he was atheist in college, but idk if that has since  genuinely changed because of my mom or if he’s just hiding his atheism to this day.

which floor of your house/building are you on now?   First floor, in the living room.

are there any maps hanging in your room?   Nope.

are you often a third wheel? or is someone a third wheel to you?   Yeah haha I’m pretty much Angela and Hans’ official third wheel. I honestly don’t mind it; hanging out with them feels more like hanging out with two good friends rather than feeling like sticking out like a sore thumb.

what’s the last dvd you bought?   I haven’t bought a DVD in a long while, but I’m gonna guess the last one I got was a Classic Hollywood movie from like 2013.

tell me about your favorite pair of jeans.   They’re high-waist blue denim jeans.

would you ride a motorcycle if given the chance? (or have you?)   Yeah, if it was being driven by someone else who knows how to ride one.

is your hair healthy?   Well I just bleached the whole thing a month ago so I wouldn’t call it healthy, lol. But even pre-bleach, my hair has already long been dry and frizzy. It’s not my favorite feature.

if a hotel offered free breakfast in bed, what would you order?   Eggs Benedict and a cup of coffee. And some croissants on the side.

how often do you take a train?   Never. I’ve only done it once and it was back in like 2017 or whatever.

what’s your favorite led zeppelin song?   I don’t have one.

does your home have a balcony/deck/porch?   We have a balcony and rooftop, but no porch.

what does your closet/wardrobe say about you?   That I’m not a big shopper.

do you enjoy theatre?   No.

how would you feel about traveling abroad alone?   It seems scary but I do want to try traveling to a different country on my own at least once, just to say I’ve gotten to do it. But I preferably would travel with at least one other person hahaha.

who would you call a lyrical genius?   Kim Namjoon.

how do you treat yourself?   Through food and ignoring work messages that come in.

do you have an interesting passport?   Eh not really. I never customize it or buy holders for it.

are you going to pursue a career according to what you enjoy?   I mean, I guess I can say I’m working my way through it. PR has been a lot of fun, but it would be cool to do in-house PR for a brand that I really like, rather than being in an agency and not really having full control of the brands I handle. Like if I got to do comms for wrestling?? Dream come true.

what happens to your old clothes?   Hand them down or share them with family members.

what’s your favorite frozen treat? I don’t like super cold desserts, actually. Though there’s this local brand that offers crunchy coffee-flavored popsicles and I love that a lot.

who supports you financially?   My parents and myself.

if you wanted to go to the movie cinema, how would you get there?   It’s a 5-minute drive away since I live super near a mall.

how many pillows are on your bed?   Two pillows and a couple of stuffed toys/plushies.

would you pay more for organic food?   No.

have you ever had a crush on a sibling’s friend or a friend’s sibling?   Nope.

do you prefer being awake after everyone goes to bed or before they get up?   I’m always doing both, haha. My body clock just rejects sleep.

do you know much about feng shui? (do you use it?)   A bit because there are a lot of people here that are of Chinese origin, and no I don’t believe it.

how would you make friends in a quiet class?   I honestly never cared about making friends in class haha. The only thing I cared about was to make sure I have the right notes and to complete the class with a high mark.

are you generally a quick learner? Depends. I’m not always.

what’s your favorite spot to read?   In bed or on the couch.

did you know that buddha is not considered a god to buddhists?   Yep. do you save tickets from movies, etc.?   I try, but I’m terrible at not losing things.

without looking him up, who was jim morrison?   The singer from The Doors. < There we go then, hahaha.

when’s the last time your bedroom was painted/wallpapered?   We never had it repainted from when we moved in, soooo the last time would’ve been back in either ‘07 or ‘08.

teach me something in another language. “Pagod na ako” means I’m tired in Filipino.

what type of music do you like and why?   Synth pop, dream pop, indie pop. They’re relaxing.

if you randomly want to eat something in the house, do you eat it or wait? Idk, depends how desperate I am for food.

who knows the most about you (besides yourself)?   Angela and Andi.

do you have a nervous habit? (e.g. biting nails, tapping feet, smoking)   I tinker with my nails a lot.

how’s your favorite pro sports team doing lately?   I don’t stan a team.

would you be/are you a good role model to a younger sibling? I mean I try to be, but I know I’m not perfect. I try to shield my sister from shit though, like if I can tell one of my parents is going through something - I try to distract her from those.