#don’t make my mistakes
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“…I see none of you got the memo about Optimus being off-limits in prank wars. Think about. Which bot are you gonna answer to?”
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Writing has become such a lost concept to me.
It used to be, I would have a thought, and I would immediately have to stop what I was doing to record it before I lost it. I had to act on it. Like an impulse. I couldn’t wait to flesh out the rest of the idea, the line, the scene, the moment. It was a need, a high, a rush. I was fulfilling some sort of instinct, the finished product was end game. Self soothing for a unsatisfying life.
Now? I have a thought. It stays secluded in the recesses of my brain. It tumbles around for months, even years. There is a resistance preventing it from getting further. A glass ceiling if you will. Trapped. Why would it go anywhere when it can’t help solve any problem I have right now? The need to self soothe has vanished. Why self soothe when life is so meaningless? It’s embarrassing to need.
And instead I go to TikTok.
*note- the first description was active and alive from ages 13-late twenties. The secondary process occurs now as I’m in my thirties. I do believe age, responsibilities and other issues have ruined every thing I used to hold dear.
CC: 4 empty journals sitting on my book shelf collecting dust since 2019.
#personal#rant#writing has done nothing to improve my life#I can’t make money off it#I failed in using it as a career and escape from an unsatisfactory life#so why should I waste anymore time towards it#if I held on to hope for a writing gig#I would be broke ass with no car no savings and no health insurance#it’s so close and yet so far#I’ve had one niche lately#I’m not looking for sympathy#I just hope that anyone who hoped for writing as a livelihood reconsiders#don’t make my mistakes
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this is a sign for all you artists to take a little break. stretch your hands. drink a glass of water. go walk around the room.
i love you 💕
#2 years ago i drew for 8 hours with no breaks#i hurt my hand and thumb doing this#my hand has never been the same since#don’t make my mistakes
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So I just went to the zoo (I LOVE THE ZOO) and I got to see and pet and feed the stingrays (WOAH) one of the stingrays put my whole hand in their mouth, I didn’t even have a fish or anything. I was like okayyy weird and when I got home I told my teacher and he said maybe the stingray was trying to show me something, take me away to a distant land if you will. And I was like ??????!!!???? BECAUSE WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT?!???? WHY DIDNT I FOLLOW THE STINGRAYS? I’m so sorry dear stingray that I didn’t see what you wanted me to.
#follow the animals that lead you away#don’t make my mistakes#stingrays#stingray#zoo#animals#nature#wildlife#mystical#magic#magical#fantasy
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I do not like this mail 😒
#these prices 😭#I’m not paying 800€#Jesus#but#I get unemployment discount 😏#get yourself a hobby that is less expensive#don’t make my mistakes#😂😂😂
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Mama a monkey behind you
#he’s making that goddamn face again isn’t he#I don’t even have to turn around I know he’s got that stupid look again#can take the monkey outta the huaguoshan but you can’t take the huaguoshan outta the monkey#if you thought I was putting effort into this you’re funny#digital art#my art#journey to the west#jttw sun wukong#jttw tripitaka#xuanzang#journey to the west fanart#sun wukong#throwing my hat into the meme ring lol#I had this in my drafts and then when I went into em for unrelated purposes I burst out laughing#cuz I forgot how stupid he looks 😭#make no mistake bajie and wujing do this too I just didn’t feel like drawing them in im sorry y’all#xuanzang and his three stoopid sons#xuanzang: the gods have blessed us with this life giving rain 😌🙏#wukong: aaaaaaaaaaa 👁️👅👁️
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i feel like social media has warped people’s perception of conflict in relationships by making you think that any minor fuck up is the end of the world and everyone is secretly a narcissist manipulator with sinister motives, because actually in real life you just say “i’m sorry, that was a bad thing, i shouldn’t have done that” and the other person says “thank you for apologising” and then that’s the end of it
#ramble#i hate that it took until my 20s to realise that i can’t go through my life just trying not to hurt people. because it will happen#it just does happen sometimes#and you have to drop out of the tiktok school of ‘i’m incapable of doing anything wrong ever and everyone else is the problem’#and get comfortable with making mistakes and learning from them#you’re fine. it’s fine#disclaimer obviously this doesn’t mean you don’t have to try to be kind or considerate anymore as long as you apologise. use your brain
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Empty Promises… 💔
The fact that Wukong tries to go in for the kill on LBD does not fly well with MK in this au….
#expedition au#curious george au#curious mk#lmk au#lego monkie kid#my art#lmk fanart#lmk#lmk mk#lmk sun wukong#lmk monkey king#lmk season 3#that’s his little sisterrrr#he felt like he was doing what he had to#but MK looses a lot of trust in him that doesn’t heal right away#also I promise I don’t hate Wukong hfkhdkdjdkd#these things are just fun to explore#and Wukong does make a lot of mistakes
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GOOD MORNING, DIRECTOR. IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP/RISE AND GRIND/GET TO WORK.
#I stared at this for a reeeaaaally long time trying to make myself like it and I still don’t so if you see a mistake shhhhh#control game#control 2019#control remedy#Jesse faden#remedyverse#my art
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Five Pebbles is so funny. Shoutout to characters who learn to prioritize compassion but still have the same deep-rooted self-actualization and self-worth issues they always had. Shoutout to characters who use compassion as a bludgeon to hurt themselves with under the guise of self-sacrifice. Shoutout to the guilt that drives one to heap blame upon themself until they feel the only way to atone is through punishment. That’s just as much about inflicting misery upon yourself as it is about helping the person you hurt. Get therapy king.
#rain world#rw five pebbles#rw fp#rw spoilers#This is kind of how I’ve always viewed the rarefraction cell thing tbh. Like I love love love that Moon’s initial reaction is negative.#You don’t understand how much I love that.#But yeah I like Five Pebbles arc. It’s not a fully healthy one imo? Not that his starting point was healthy either.#‘Instead of making myself miserable under the guise of the great problem#I will instead make myself miserable under the guise of rectifying my mistakes.’#Truly what a guy.#none of this is meant to undercut the sacrifice he made btw. it’s a genuinely sweet gesture#but I think not enough people acknowledge it’s also not necessarily a. healthy progression for him mentally
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Day 7: accident
Don’t draw so fast
#a rookie mistake I don’t imagine him making but I don’t know what else I could have done 😅#art#my art#artists on tumblr#original art#my characters#oc#Cardin#goretober#tw blood#tw violence#tw amputation
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Drifting stars au is taking me OUT
#art#my crappy art#kay draws#my art#dipper angst#gravity falls angst#angst#stanley pines#gravity falls stanley#gravity falls dipper#dipper pines#grunkle stan#mabel pines#drifting stars au#gravity falls au#dipper and mabel#to be so focused on fixing a mistake you made decades ago#that you don’t take the precautions to make sure another mistake doesn’t happen#and then you have to sit there and watch it ruin the life of a kid#who you see so much of yourself in
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Artist study I’m doing for uni!!
Ofc I had to sneak my bbygirl into my work shxnck
#there’s so much I don’t like about this but idm bc it’s ink#it’s soooo freeing being able to make mistakes and having to just go#oh well#my art#hollow knight#hollow knight gijinka#gijinka#hk hornet#hk silksong#silksong
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woman 🙏
#yeah me again with punk(or smth near) england but make it nyo this time#hws england#aph england#nyotalia#nyo england#hetalia#please don’t @ me for any technical mistakes i got too silly#that’s all i have to say in my defence
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Honestly a sorry from Curly would mean nothing to Anya.
I’m not saying she wouldn’t want to hear it, it’s a hollow vindication. She told him and he couldn’t hear her. He saw it and he couldn’t understand it. They both experienced it and he should apologize that it took that for him to get it. She already knows he’s sorry but what’s the point if neither of them can do anything about it? It’s earnest but at the same time what she wants an apology for is what Curlu can’t apologize for.
He can’t be sorry for what happened to her even if he is. Even if he carries that guilt with him until the day he dies it’s not all his to bare. The most heinous parts aren’t his weight even if he tries to balance it. A part of her bitterness is the fact he can’t be sorry for it all. She can’t just direct it all towards him even if she wants to. She was failed in so many ways by all of them. It hurts with him the most cause he had the power but they all did nothing in the grand scheme of things.
The one person who should apologize would never and could never, it’s not something you can be sorry for. She wants an apology, she needs one but what would it fix?
#my two scents on apology scenerios cause like if she heard it I think it would just make it worse#likes she’s happy in a bitter sweet way like I don’t know why people need Anya to be actively resentful and mean about it like that’s nots#satisfying none of this story is satisfying in anyway shape or form and I want to write scenerios that really aren’t that like it’s real#it’s raw it’s in character for her to sort of forgive Curly but not accept his apology cause it’s worthless and that’s the tragic part of i#in a world where they escape and he apologizes he’s forever haunted by the fact she’ll never accept his sorry and she’s forever haunted by#the justice she didn’t really receive like for those that like them together it’s alway the unspoken bitterness of all his actions carry an#act of apology while she will never accept it as such cause he can’t say it and do anything about it nor what he’s apologizing for she can#learn to forgive him for the mistake understand the circumstances even if she doesn’t agree or wishes he’d known better but it’s forgivenes#based on she wouldn’t do that to herself to hold it against him forever he’s paid for his sins in watching the effects of his inactions and#having so much taken just like her but it didn’t have to happen and that’s why she can never accept the sorry#there shouldn’t be a reason he has to be sorry but there is idk they are so much to me like platonically#the only way I pair cishet straights together#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#captain curly#curly mouthwashing
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“Haven’t You Noticed (I’m a Star)” from Steven Universe works so ridiculously well for Leo
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rottmnt leo#rise leo#listen it’s morning now and I haven’t slept so bear with me for the sudden unwarranted lyric analysis haha#a lotttt of the lyrics work so well for him#not even just the overall theme the words just work great#first lyric is literally ‘I can’t help it if I make a scene’ which is one to one with ‘Leo’s makin a scene’ from the rottmnt opening like-#‘I’m turning heads and I’m stopping traffic’ -> Leo has not made it a secret that he values his looks a LOT#-not just his looks but also his ability to get people’s attention#‘when I pose they scream when I joke they laugh’ -> I feel like this speaks for itself#-posing and joking for the crowd and himself#‘I’ve got them dazzled like a stage magician’ -> works both with Leo’s canonical love of magicians and his aptitude with tricks in general#‘well everybody needs a friend and I’ve got you and you and you’ -> I just think it’d be cute to imagine his friends here just as his bros#‘I got you and you and you’ = ‘my brainy guy my smashing guy and eats peanut butter with his fingers guy’#‘haven’t you noticed that I’m a star?’ -> Leo loves attention and especially loves when his feats and efforts are acknowledged#+ he loves glam rock and sci-fi and being a champ and - listen he has a LOT of star symbolism with him#‘haven’t you noticed I made it this far’ - Leo is well aware of how dangerous situations get and thinks himself only a part of a whole#-so hey it’s notable that he’s survived this long yeah?#‘now everyone can see me burning’ -> self-sacrificing with his family bearing witness + all his star and flame symbolism in general#+ how attention naturally goes to him - including bad attention where his mistakes are highlighted and burn bright#also even the limo lyric-#obviously this boy has never and will never own a limo but one of his main secondary colors IS pink so even that#okay that one is just a joke but he would#(on that note though I think the other colors the boys gravitate to outside THEIR color are fun to notice)#I don’t actually know too much about Steven universe beyond the songs and some eps but I like the music#and this just came to my tired mind so here you go anyone who’s interested#may draw something with these lyrics dunno yet#it’s a good song in any case even though it’s super short
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