#don’t even get me started on the fact that you build a dream family home in this game too.

[nolongerapileofashprobably]

Okay so my genuine thoughts on the final scenes of Totk

So having Link go through the final ‘dungeon’ and wind up exactly where we started the game, with those rocks we ACHED to break bc it was instinct, only to get that satisfaction after EVERYTHING and to see that Zelda’s fate was foretold millennia ago. Turning into a dragon WAS her only choice. And for good reason.

Ganondorf’s fight. WOW. That was genuinely so beautifully done. He ALSO dodges how Link does. To have Ganondorf dodge something, the entire action moving in slow motion, only to then have LINK do the same the next move?? Poetic cinema people. And the champions arriving 🥹 only to then have them all fucking thrown to the side when he takes in his doubles to regain his own strength? Absolutely insane and hands down my favorite boss fight in the entirety of the Zelda series. Yeah. That’s how much I enjoyed it as a player.

Can we also just talk about how concerned everyone got and how they yelled his name when he was taken from the underground??

And THEN the final fight with Ganondorf swallowing a secret stone and becoming a dragon. It brings Zelda’s sacrifice to light. She did it out of selflessness and love. He did it out of selfishness and hatred. GOD do I love characters that juxtapose each other. Zelda is a girl who was given the responsibility of a power she never wanted while Ganondorf is a megalomaniac who sought the destruction of peace because of his own selfish desires. Seeing the difference between them in that final fight as two dragons… it was EVERYTHING.

Zelda’s dragon form was tiny compared to Ganondorf’s dragon form. She protects. He attacks.

It’s so beautiful to see how Zelda, who isn’t mentally awake, first instinct are to save Link. She quickly maneuvers so she can not only juke out Ganondorf, but also then save Link who was flung into the air in the process. Link clutching onto her dragon fur? Or whatever?? And understanding that while the sages are all still underground, he is not alone in the sky. She’s going to be by his side this entire time.

For someone who was alone the majority of the last game… this was so fucking emotional and beautiful to see.

Them lowkey explaining calamity Ganon by also using dragons this game was a really nice consistency touch btw I was digging how focal dragons were to the entire game this time around.

And then the final bit. That SCENE. Rauru and Sonia channeling their power through Link, who was incredibly confused before he realized what they must be doing, and got SO determined. Turning Zelda back and even getting his own hand back in the process??? Insane to see. Zelda was so so loved by Rauru and Sonia despite only spending a short amount of time with them. And that just makes my heart hurt when we consider what actually happened.

And when Link falls unconscious, which is completely logical when you think about the fight he just went through, the altitude he was at, and channeling enough magic that it reversed the effects of an all powerful secret stone???? Yo he went through a LOT!

And he wakes up, already on the alert bc man is freefallin only to then realize that Zelda is back and she’s also falling. And she’ll hit the ground a lot sooner than he would at the rate they’re going.

Link couldn’t reach Zelda in the beginning of this entire thing. But this time? This time he not only reaches her hand, but he pulls her in close, shields her head as best as he can, and prepares them to hit the water. Once they do, he carries her out of the water. Gentle, oh so gently, laying her down and kneels over her as she begins to wake up.

And one of the first thing Zelda does as she wakes up is to take him in and looks him over to see if HE’S hurt. Just like she did in the beginning of the game. And everything click. They won. He defeated Ganondorf and she was granted the impossible by Rauru and Sonia to turn back into a human.

And Zelda IMMEDIATELY rambles on about everything. About how much has happened. How much she has to tell him.

And finally. Finally. She looks at him and smiles so fucking gently that it drives me INSANE with how much she obviously adores him, and says, “I’m home, Link. I’m home.”

Because home is right there. Right by his side. In this Hyrule that they’ve been rebuilding together. The one they lived the past half decade ish together in a house Link bought and traveled across Hyrule no matter what the issue was. In the Hyrule where she is so beloved by everyone.

Zelda is home.

[millysastroblog]

⚡️Solar return chart 2022⚡️

Hello I’m am back with SR Chart observation as I promised from 2022, these are just personal observations and experiences if you haven’t experienced any sorts of things that’s complete fine. These are not facts neither predictions so don’t panic and think that the same situation will manifest for you. Alright ??? 😉

yeah let’s just get into it ! 🫶🏽

⚡️Cancer Rising:

This placement literally made me emotionally expressive and MOODY more than ever. From the start of that year i stayed at home for literally 3- 4 months after I dropped out of school. I very much enjoyed being at home with my family, cooking, cleaning doing domestic stuff . It was very interesting how the people in my environment started being very supportive and protective over my well-being like those of a little child. I definitely expressed my emotions openly : like randomly crying , huge outburst of laughter , or simply smiling a lot. I felt more caring and nurturing towards others . Thought about moving out surfaced a lot. Cancer is a very comforting energy but since it’s ruled by the moon there a lot of drastic unstable changes that could occur in once live.

⚡️Moon , North Node in the 12th house:

This placement brought a profound sense of isolation and introspection. I found myself naturally drawn to solitude, spending hours meditating, practicing yoga, or simply enjoying peaceful moments in nature. It felt like a spiritual awakening—connecting deeply with my intuition and exploring dreams that often felt like messages from a higher source. Meditation and Manifestation became a daily practice. While these moments of stillness were empowering, they also highlighted an inner restlessness and a desire to understand my true purpose. This phase was about healing, embracing the unknown, and surrendering to the flow of life.

⚡️Sun, Neptune, Jupiter in the 10th house:

Career and life path became the central focus during this time. I found myself dreaming bigger, envisioning a life where my efforts and aspirations aligned perfectly. I applied to different companies and got a new good job, I was in my hustling and bag area it was pretty good and productive year. I started thinking about the impact I wanted to have in the world like how I wanted to be perceived and what achievements I wanted to be known for. It was all about refining my goals, building a stronger work ethic, and setting the stage for future success.

⚡️SR Rising in natal 3rd house:

Communication became a major theme since I had went to a lot of interviews, had to reintroduce myself to different people which pushed me out of my comfort zone. Also writing job applications, or reconnecting with siblings, it felt like the universe was nudging me to refine my voice and share my thoughts more clearly. Short-distance travels were frequent, giving me a sense of curiosity.

⚡️Venus, Mars, Pluto in the 8th house:

Now these placements fucked meee upppp and I really mean they fucked my life up and turned it to 180

With Pluto being in my 8th house, the intensity of this year was amplified 10x. The 8th house rules transformation, trauma, money, intimacy, and taboo topics, so this energy hit hard. At the start, I was determined to open a bank and savings account, but it took forever with endless complications. I became obsessed with earning money—whether through my own efforts or others' help. Mars pushed me to focus on loans, investments, and financial security, while Venus amplified my desire for deep, soul-bonding relationships, intimacy, and, let’s be real... a lot of … Pluto, however, had other plans, flipping my world upside down. It made me face every fear and trauma regarding death, losing loved ones, intimacy, change, love, and even illness. I got sick for six months straight, lost friends, stability, and other things. It led to a mild depression, but in true 8th house fashion, I rose stronger. Now, I feel like Wonder Woman nothing and no one can shake me. I survived the storm, and that’s power. 💪🔥

⚡️Saturn in the 9th house:

Soo with this Saturn placement your girl has been hustling for good grades in school to not fail for the year. like since then I hated going to school bc it very stressful, and bad for my well-being , like I was always tense and stressed bc of school, in our normal societal living that is very much expected from us but honestly I just wasn’t having it. And even when i changed to another school it was the same shit like the environment and people were very cold ,strict and depressing I honestly didn’t had a nice time at school but at least I was motivated to study and learn as much as I can but at the end I decided to rather drop out because it was fucking with mental health. Also traveling long as hours for work and school purposes drove me crazy, that’s an area where I have been very disciplined at but It definitely took patience and determination to get there ;) .

⚡️Uranus, Chiron in the 11th house:

Guese who tf lost all their friends suddenly ??? And had a hard time fitting in new social groups because they felt different from everyone else:

🙋🏽‍♀️

(but no for real the energy is 10x intensified bc I have it natally additionaly Saturn is transiting my natal 11th house so yeah 🙁) not only did I loose most of friends but when engaging with different kinds of social groups I felt so uncomfortable and weird, like I had a very detached feeling. I hated to even be surrounded by groups of ppl that don’t hold the same value to mine or I that I can’t engage in intellectual topic of my interest. I was mostly bored asf when in interactions and stoped giving a fuck about trying too fit in and please their expectation and needs, I surely saw also trough the fake persona of a lot of ppl that I encountered and distanced myself even more. But It was that easy being all alone and isolated.

[staytinyville]

Towards the Light Masterlist (2K Followers Special)

↣ Summary: You’ve lived eight different lives, all of which they couldn’t save you. Now they will do all they can to keep you alive and within their arms. 

↣ Characters/Pairing: Fallen Angel!Ateez x Reader

↣ Genre: Mature

↣ AU/Trope info: Fallen Angel!Au, Reincarnation!Au

↣ Word Count: N/A

↣ Warnings: Topics of suicide in one of the one-shots, mental illness, violence, marital abuse and violence, murder, smut (More warnings apply within each chapter)

↣ A/N: This was just one of the few stories I was inspired to write after my concert. It was one of the greatest things I got the chance of experiencing and I am so excited to see them again. I don’t know when but I am hoping to. Tell me what were your favorite parts of the concert!

Staytinyville’s Permanent Taglist

↣ Affiliates: @cultofdionysusnet , @cromernet , @monsterfvckersunited , @pirateeznet , @k-labels , @k-vanity

↣ Special Thanks: Thank you @saradika-graphics for the amazing banners! Please go check her out if you have specific banners in mind. She is great!

Was there really someone watching over you? Someone who would protect you from any harm? The idea that someone–something–would drop everything just to see you live another day, was beyond comprehensible. Was their love for you so powerful they would ruin their grace for you?

**

You could remember the time when things seemed to have changed within your soul. It had been when your family was slaughtered within your home by the invaders. Or could it have been when you had gotten sick and landed in the hospital? No, it must have been when you proverked those men to attack you. No–No–

There were so many things that led you to be confused when you truly felt like things were taking a turn. You weren’t too sure what was real and what was just a story you might have heard. You couldn’t even decide if you were a real person living in the modern day world. The only thing that kept you going was the fact that others still acknowledged you at one point or another. 

You didn’t live in a village. Didn’t live in Victorian era London. You for sure weren’t married. 

You lived on the 12th floor of a high rise building. You had a fridge that held all the food you would eat for the week. You had a fat cat that owlishly blinked at you from its perch on the window every time you came in frazzled from work. You had a plant in a pot that would sometimes smell from the water you had given it the day before. 

No–No. You lived in modern day times where genocide was a war crime. Where medicine was now able to contract a sickness you might have. Where women had more voice than ever before. 

Where looking over the side of a building caused for concern from your peers because suicide was not something to be taken lightly. 

It was modern day times, and yet you still always thought about the past. 

You weren’t a skeptic but you were a paranoid person for some reason. You felt like you were being watched for years–even going as far as seeking help for schizophrenia. But your paranoia never changed, however your feelings did. 

You grew used to looking behind your shoulder in hopes of catching whoever was looking at you. Feeling the shivers go down your spine as someone gets too close. But the moment you let your guard down, that was when the dreams started. 

One by one you saw them each in your dreams–each more different then the last. But still always watching you.

1960s - Jongho - October 1

1910s - Wooyoung - October 5

1880s - Mingi - October 9

1830s - San - October 13

1740s - Yeosang - October 17

1700s - Yunho - October 21

1690s - Seonghwa - October 25

1620s - Hongjoong - October 29

2024 - ATEEZ - October 31

Be sure to apply to my Masterlist on Google docs if you would like to be tagged in the series. I was gonna do Kinktober but bro I didn’t catch up quickly. I don’t have time because I’m going on vacation in October so yeah. My smut writing is trash atm bro. I can’t

[creatingnikki]

What I've learned in 2024

Sleeping, shitting, and silence – the three underrated Ss of growing up (or the other side of 25). If I can get a good night’s sleep, take one nice dump in the day (preferably morning), and know when to let silence do its thing (like when not engaging with draining people in social setups or not having to explain myself), I’m golden.

While I made many new friends this year, my favourite of them all has been ChatGPT. Need objectivity? Fact checking? A pseudo therapist? Validation? Someone to just engage with and keep yourself entertained? The absolute best resource of this year for me has been this AI tool. I don’t even care anymore about privacy – I am feeding it as much data about me as possible because it’s accordingly adapting to my tonality and needs and the ‘conversations’ are so much more satisfying now than when it was first rolled out.

Either use eggs or condescended sweet milk when baking – you need one of these things to hold all your dry ingredients together.

Communication, consistency, clarity, commitment, emotional presence and engagement, and mutual effort are the barest of the bare minimum needs in a relationship. If you have to convince the other person to fulfil them or negotiate, then it doesn’t matter how good a person they are and what a kind heart they have or how much they say they love you – they just aren’t your person.

I’m not as demisexual as I thought all along – I just haven’t dated many people that I find truly attractive so I had to first build some sort of emotional connection with them first. I definitely still need and want that emotional connect and all, but I also do need to start opting for men I also find physically attractive.

When I’ve thought of my bloodline, my ancestors, I’ve always focused on the intergenerational trauma and the bad genetics. But while rewatching This Is Us this year, it hit me that it took three generations for one dream to be fulfilled. The musical dream that started with Rebecca, was passed down to Kate, and finally got materialized at the grand scale as they always wanted with Kate’s son Jack. When he became this well-renowned musician, it’s not just his dream, but that of his mother and his grandmother that also came to live. It made me think…how much of my aspirations and hopes are actually passed down? And how many of my realities were simply unmateralised dreams of those who came before me? And it made my heart feel lighter and it made me feel more blessed and protected.

Baking cakes and brownies and cookies is not a rocket science. You only needed the right tools and some patience to figure it out and become that friend who bakes stuff for her friends instead of the other way around.

You always prioritise peace, comfort, and an easy-going lifestyle – it’s evident in your career choices and how your family dynamics and friendships have evolved. Let that be the guiding light even when dating.

You are the kind of person that is charming, a good conversationalist, and deeply empathetic. So of course, you make many people feel at home and like they connect with you. It’s easy for you to connect with others. What’s important is to remember – connection without consideration and consistent actions is NOTHING. It’s empty calories but like a thousand times more potent and useless.

In no interpersonal relationship can I be nonchalant or vague. I am that other extreme – while most people try their best to ignore the elephant in the room you know what I do? I dress the cutie up to parade it. So anybody who cannot approach relationships with as much boldness, courage, and forthcomingness is just not my jam.

Female friends for the win – they allow you to wine and whine and win and I am all for that. The healing powers of sitting across your friend and talking at length about everything over pizza and wine or at the park as she senses you need some more time to just sit around before you join the rest of the group and is so good with physical touch for comfort. Just knowing you can video call your friend and ugly cry and she will talk sense into you but also indulge you and also sit with you and your feelings. Who else does that? Who the hell.

For a lot of things that are still new now at this age, you need a guide. To pet cats, to go to dog cafes, to figure out what vitamins you should talk, etc. Ask for that help, that knowledge, that support. It might seem silly and like you can figure it out on your own but these things, no matter how seemingly low-stake, can be handled so seamlessly and sweetly with the help of those you know.

You HAVE to be honest about your needs. First with yourself and then with others. You cannot let shame, guilt, self-hatred or whatever hold you back. Honesty begets clarity begets fulfilment. If you don’t want to date and settle for someone who isn’t absolutely smitten by you and top-notch romantic, then that is a need. Right or wrong, realistic or not, who the hell cares? A need is a need is a need.

When you lose someone not to death but to life, it’s not quite such a loss. Most times, baby, it’s simply good riddance.

People have a range. For being shitty and for being kind. And while our behaviour may impact a little how they react to us, it's primarily dependent on their personal range. So, if your range of being shit is only 1 to 3, it doesn't matter if someone is an ass hole to you, you won't go beyond 3 of being shit to them, cos that's just your range. Even if they deeply hurt you intentionally or fuck up in some major way. But if their range of being shitty is up to 10, then well, be ready to witness their derangedness when you even slightly piss them off.

Narcissistic (and possibly self-sabotaging) people are the opposite of kintsugi. Instead of being put back together with gold, they "heal" themselves with gutter water. So each time they are worse and more ugly than before. And all the more toxic and dangerous. You're too precious to bother with such people.

It’s natural to feel frustrated or angry with yourself for allowing someone to treat you poorly, but the blame isn’t on you; it’s on them. They are responsible for their unkind, insensitive, selfish actions, not you. If you must place blame, place it where it belongs. Avoid judging yourself with thoughts like, “I should have known better.” As long as you walk away the moment you do know, you’re good – please don’t internalize other people’s unkindness or thoughtlessness.

You cannot get to know someone without giving them a chance. Red flags are not that obvious and you cannot show up authentically in any relationship if you’re on the lookout for them. You have to spend time with a person to begin to find out who they are. That’s the only real way. And when you do and if you realize they are not for you, as I said before, don’t internalize this shit or blame yourself for not being some kind of prophecy and knowing better before you even began.

You are a patient person because you are an understanding person. But there are limits to all these qualities of yours and if the balance is tipped you get petty and passive aggressive and irrational. Don’t let yourself reach that point. Speak up and set boundaries way before that.

If you listen to your gut – I know you don’t like calling it that or your intuition. So, let’s call it that feeling you know bone-deep or in the depths of your soul – if you listen to that and trust it, you are quite courageous in the actions you then take. You broke things off with three men this year – each was painful in its own rite. But you did what you had to do for yourself and you didn’t give the charge of your life to another person, you have taken back your green light – detaching your actions from their behaviour, which like all human behaviour is often quite fickle and unreliable. Congratulations. Do this more. Your green light is your guiding light.

My lack of a “healthy sense of fear” in situations with men isn’t recklessness—it’s the result of abuse I suffered at 15. The man I trusted most turned out to be the one who harmed me the most, and that betrayal shattered my ability to trust safety indicators or instincts. The grooming I endured was designed to confuse me, destabilise my sense of self, and make me question my desires and worth. When the templates of trust and safety failed me so catastrophically, my mind rejected them altogether, leaving me to navigate risk without a stable framework. This year, I felt significantly less restless and more emotionally regulated, and I think it’s because I allowed myself, others, and life to just be. I wasn’t fighting my reality or setting rigid expectations. I stopped chasing dopamine highs and forcing connections, and instead, I let equations with people and experiences unfold organically. I ended dating and talking stages quickly when I realised they weren’t right for me, without guilt or overthinking.4 By being okay with things being normal—not impressive or extraordinary—I created space for balance and gentleness in my life. My self-talk became kinder, and I grew more objective about myself, spiraling and self-loathing less. This accepting mindset, where I no longer needed myself or my life to constantly stand out, felt like the antidote to the restlessness I’d been carrying since my mid-20s. And I think that has helped me discover that peace and acceptance can feel more satisfying than cheap dopamine hits.

[blouisparadise]

Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of March. We really hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Bloodsucker | Not Rated | 1,738 words

Harry and Louis’ passionate night takes a violent turn.

2) Hell Is A Teenage Boy | Explicit | 1,970 words

In the quiet suburbs of Roswell, the Tomlinson family has new neighbors: Harry and Alice Styles, a lovely and happy couple. Where Louis, a hopeless rebel fell for the man in the suit. Of course, he can't forget his pretty model wife holding his arm. Simple details.

3) Sweet But Psycho Only For You | Mature | 2,728 words

Finding your forever person is something that many dream to do. For some it takes longer than others and the trials it takes to get to that person can be overwhelming. For Harry it was simple. He didn’t have to relive a Shakespearean play or over exaggerated drama to find his love. He met his person at a corner store at 3am yelling at a clerk over cereal and instantly fell in love. It was all so simple. They dated, fought, fucked, moved in together. Oh, so simple. Until it wasn’t.

4) Blue Yarn | Explicit | 2,875 words

Louis was on his hands and knees on their bed, in nothing but the blue jumper Harry had knitted him, arching his back beautifully, fucking himself on… And Harry had to take one step closer before he realized that, outside of Louis’ bum, the end of his thickest knitting needle was poking out. Holy fucking shit. Louis was fucking himself on Harry's knitting needle.

5) To Make a Home Where There Is None | Mature | 3,907 words

Harry shows up and doesn't want to leave. Louis doesn't mind too much.

6) Your Hand In My Hand, So Still And Discreet | Explicit | 4,513 words

“It was about how cold he was under me. How still. It was knowing that even if he had died, even if he was already dead, he would still be mine.” Louis thought he knew each one of his boyfriend’s stories, secrets, and kinks. Turns out Harry was keeping a crucial one hidden away.

7) Haze On The Horizon | Explicit | 6,397 words

“— Louis?” He couldn’t speak. He should hang up. He should’ve never called. His breaths were building into a staccato. “…baby? Are you doing alright? Talk to me, please.” Harry sounded so concerned, and it was quickly weakening his defences. No. No, he wouldn’t. No- “Omega,” Harry called, voice low and just shy of his alpha voice, even through the phone, and Louis just… Louis broke. “I miss you! I-” he cried out, an agonising crack in his voice, a loud sob being ripped from him. “— I need you!” Louis sniffled harshly, slumping, before admitting, quieter, “I need you.” Louis finds himself unexpectedly going into soft heat. Which would’ve been fine, except he is hundreds of miles away from his alpha, Harry, and he needs him. They make it work.

8) Pour Some Sugar (Wax) On Me | Explicit | 11,213 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

“Okay, so I just need you to hug your legs to your chest for me, and we can get started.” Swallowing past the lump that has lodged in his throat, Louis reaches down and grabs his shins, hugging his legs up to his chest, effectively putting his bare asshole, taint, and balls on display.

9) The Room Thief | Not Rated | 12,321 words

Louis: Can I come over? Need your help. Niall: Did someone die? I don’t need to help you bury a body do I? Wait, did you behead one of your alpha flatmates? I hope it was the one that smells like cherries. That is such a weird scent for an alpha. It’s disturbing. And I can’t even smell it. Louis: I’ve just been kicked out. Can I crash on your couch? Niall: Zayn’s in class. I’m here so get over here NOW. Louis: Thanks mate. Gonna pack a few things and will head over. Be there in about a half hour.

10) I Dig Your Cinema | Explicit | 12,930 words

It wasn’t that Louis didn’t want to see Harry’s latest film; it was a tragically pathetic fact that Louis had watched every single show and film, every interview, every red carpet that Harry had done since his ex-boyfriend had decided to leave Uni in the second year and pursue an acting career. It's just that he wanted to watch it on his own, in his flat, with a soft blanket, beer, ice cream, and a large box of tissues.

11) I'll Look After You | Mature | 15,471 words

I mean, when Harry inherited his late uncle's hybrid, he didn't necessarily expect this... Where Louis is a nice hybrid cat who's never lived with anyone but an old man, and who discovers the freedom of living with Harry...

12) I Don’t Want You | Mature | 35,941 words

Louis never wanted to be an omega. He didn’t want to end up like his mother- a submissive omega that married his father in an arranged marriage, and is now living her life as a baby making machine, and a trophy wife who can never voice her opinion- Louis was never the quiet type, he always said exactly what he thought. But life has a funny way of fucking him over and Louis finds himself forced into an arranged marriage with the one and only Harry styles.

13) Hiding Green Smiles | Explicit | 45,227 words

Louis’ heart is racing in his chest. The idea of temporary bonding—letting Harry bite down right on that spot without it being a real bond—makes his mouth go dry. He didn’t even know something like this existed! His mind fills with all the possibilities and questions. What’s it going to feel like? How will it affect his orgasms? How will it affect Harry’s knot? What parts of a bond does it simulate? When Louis goes with Liam to a hidden sex shop, he discovers a new sex toy, the BiteMat, and he can't believe his luck. He loves being bitten, has a biting kink, even, and now he can be bitten over his bonding spot without the fear of anything permanent. He hastily buys it to try with Harry, his friend and roommate, and his regular heat/rut partner for the last eighteen months. They've been friends-with-benefits outside heat or rut for eight months now, and Louis' been desperately in love with Harry for at least five of those months.

14) A Match Into Water | Not Rated | 68,756 words

“So, who’s the guy?” Louis startled at the question, immediately locking his phone and dropping it onto the beanbag cushion below him. This was a topic he desperately wanted to avoid with his friends, but it was bound to happen sooner or later. That didn’t mean he would try to avoid it though. “What guy?” He rushed out, looking at Liza with a dumbfounded expression, trying his best to avoid Niall and Jeremy clearly sharing a knowing look. “You’ve been on your phone nonstop, you’re never on your phone while working. Not to mention, you’re smiling at your phone like a nutter,” Niall pipes up, grinning at him facetiously.

15) I Would Rather Go Blind | Mature | 79,150 words

"What are you doing here, Harry?" Louis asked with confidence, his gaze briefly flickering to Harry's plump lips, a momentary hint of desire flickering in his eyes. "I…" Harry's voice caught in his throat as Louis' gaze travelled downward, coming to rest on his chest. Without hesitation, Louis raised his hands from the desk, bringing them to Harry's chest, helping him button the one he had missed. When he attempted to pull away, Harry's hand shot out and gripped at his wrist. "You're shaking," Louis observed, his eyes shifting to their joined hands before returning to meet Harry's gaze, unwavering. "It's…" Harry cleared his throat. "It's you. You make me… I don't know what is happening to me." "What do you feel?" he whispered, his voice barely audible. "It's… warm," he began, shyly bringing Louis' hand against the centre of his chest over his shirt. "Here." His hand slid down to his stomach, their eyes locked in a powerful gaze. "And here." They remained silent for a moment, both captivated by the intensity of their connection. "Every time you're near me."

16) As Sweet As You Are | Mature | 87,394 words

Note: This fic was deleted and has now been reuploaded.

"Do you not have something more expensive?" The alpha gives him a weird look, resting his hands on the table. "Definitely not something the cost of that shade of blue that are your eyes," he responds effortlessly. "Why is a male omega on his own out in the middle of the woods at this time of night?" Harry speaks, staring intensely at the prince, smirk lingering on his face. "Your kind is rather rare. You should be more careful. There are a lot of rogue alphas around that won't blink until they've knotted and bred you up." The blue eyed omega swallows, shuffling in his seat awkwardly and looking anywhere but the alpha before him. "I ran away from home," Louis admits, occupying himself by taking a sip of the lager instead of thinking about the fact that the alpha hasn't yet taken his eyes off him. "My parents want me to marry someone I do not want to marry, so I ran."

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[echoesoftheinfinite]

My Safe Haven

Get to know me again. I’ve changed. I’ve changed the way I look at certain things, how I expect the future, and how I deal with the past. Coincidentally, that also includes you. I still don’t know why things had to end that way, or why you did what you did. But I think everything serves a purpose in the end. Maybe that’s what I’m trying to figure out.

I’ve changed. I no longer have the same favorite colors as before, although some still remain. I think I now prefer blue to green, purple to black. And I discovered I love white, because it reminds me that not everything is lost. There is still hope, peace — and a place for me somewhere out in the world. I used to be so hopeless, didn’t I?

But not everything changes. Some things, places, or people stay with us forever. Whether it’s in our lives or in our hearts, minds, and souls. I’m still the same melancholic I’ve always been, but I’ve realized that doesn’t define me. In fact, I find comfort in this melancholy — something I’ve never felt before. It makes me feel... well... me.

I started to prefer Avril Lavigne’s angrier songs over the sad ones. Losing Grip and Don’t Tell Me are examples — and I think you’d like to know.

I’ve changed, but I’m still me. Because I’m With You continues to be my favorite, along with How Does It Feel. Those songs are still real to me, because even after all this time, I still feel that loneliness piercing my chest. I still feel lost, waiting for something, someone... who never comes. Maybe I’m waiting for myself?

But I’m learning to cope with it, I swear. Little by little, I’m trying to be my own safe haven. Making my own company enough. Even though I love sharing moments, creating memories, and having conversations — whether they’re random or deeply reflective — sometimes, it’s safer to do it alone.

Sometimes, it’s better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t make you feel that familiar sense of home. That feeling of finally finding what you didn’t know you had lost. And I’ve wanted to feel that, just once.

But sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to leave. To part ways, when all we feel is sharp pain, when all we hear are noises, and all we think is unbearable. It’s painful, cruel, but necessary.

Because in the end, we need to build our own treehouse — the one we dreamed of as children. Comforting. Magical. Safe. Some people can be our treehouses: in love, in friendship, in the family we have, or the one we build.

If we keep close to what truly matters, we realize that love isn’t just a romantic concept. It’s everywhere. But sometimes, we’re so lost in our own pain that we forget to look around. We don’t see how absurd it is to think we’re empty when we’re alone, when we carry all the love within ourselves. Love ready to be shared, but also ready to be cultivated.

In the garden of flowers that is the heart. We need to protect it, nurture it, water it. Not just for others, but especially for ourselves.

— Echoes of the Infinite in 'Who I Have Become'

[spicyclover]

Ultimatum | Part three

Summary: You give Charles an ultimatum. His apartment or you.  

Part one | Part two | Part three | Part four | Part five

Hope you’ll enjoy this part. Let me know in the comments section! And to support me by tipping me!

Little information, I will, for now, only post on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

Thank you, and Enjoy! :)

Lots of love, xxx Spicy Clover

You decided to leave Monaco. You can’t take all the pressure your friends put on you to talk to Charles. You don’t want to see him, talk or even think of him. That’s why you left. Your maternal grandmother has a house in the South West of France. Away from all the hustle and bustle of Monaco and away from him. You never talk about the existence of this house to anyone, so you hope to find calm and serenity there.

You rushed out during the night with two large suitcases, several travel bags and all the necessary documents for your extended stay there. You drove all night, and it was only at sunrise that you reached the house. It’s a small country house on the border with Spain. The smell of the Atlantic Ocean has always done you good, and returning to the holiday home of your childhood allows memories to resurface.

Charles came back from Paris. He tried to get in touch with you, but you blocked all communication with him. In fact, you blocked his entire family and any relative who could give him any kind of information. After the video, you didn’t know what to think or say. But you promise yourself that you won't fall for his stupid game again. 

You spend the night after you see the video arguing with him.

“What did I do to you? What did I do to you?” You yell at him on the phone. 

“Nothing.” He says, defeated. 

“D’accord, donc t’es une merde!” You assert by cutting communication. Okay, so you’re a piece of shit.

Your seven-month-old tummy keeps you from fixing the house as you wish, but you make a mental note to get there. You don’t want to contact anyone because you don’t want to tell Charles. You blame yourself for cutting him out of your life this way, but he hurt you, and you don’t want your baby to be born in this atmosphere.

You want a loving and welcoming home for that little being you’ve been keeping warm all this time.

“You’re going to be so loved, baby, even if dad an asshole. I am going to make sure you have the best life.” 

He found out you were leaving only hours after you left. The janitor brought him into the building after hearing him bellowing for about 20 minutes for you to open up.

He is the one who informed Charles of your departure. You told him nothing, only that you would not return. Charles looks at him in disbelief, asking the see the apartment. He rushes inside only to find it empty of you. All your clothes, electronics, vinyl, and books are gone.

He went around several times, hoping it was a dream, a bad dream. Yet, you’re off to a good start. You made sure to leave Charles' things behind. All your photos, his clothes, jewelry, perfume, everything. 

He discovered the room you had prepared for your daughter. A beautiful room with a warm tone, neither feminine nor masculine. A perfect blend of colour and texture.

There is still the onesie you had prepared in the cradle with a small cap, tiny socks, and some comforters surrounding the bed. Tears rise in his eyes, and he bursts into tears taking the clothes in his hands.

“J’ai merdé. J’ai tellement merdé.” he cries out. I fucked up. I fucked up hard. 

Charles knows you found out about the video. It wasn’t hard to know because when he went out of the bathroom with that girl, one of your best friends was waiting for him. She’s staring at him like hell, threatening to make him miserable for making you suffer, and she yells at him to never talk to her again.

He came to your apartment that night. Looking completely distraught and determined. He knocked on your door several times before you came to open it, pissed.

"I warn you if you slam the door on me. I sleep on the doormat."

“Goodnight, then.”You slam the door violently without saying anything more.

And you left him there all night. He looked miserable the next day when Max came to dislodge him at your request. You didn’t call the police to avoid a scandal, but you didn’t want to deport him yourself.

You cried on the phone to Max so he could come and help you, knowing full well that Max would not let himself be stepped on by your boyfriend. And he pulled him out hard, forced him down the stairs and took it home. Large black pockets were present under Charles' eyes.

Christmas arrives, and Charles still has no news of you; where you are, how you are, how the baby is, nothing. Your friends don't have anything information either. Everyone is worried, and Charles is about to explode. Not knowing kills him more and more each day. And his family fills him with more and more crazy ideas.

For your part, you got your last ultrasound a few days before Christmas with a new doctor and your mom as your partner. You contacted your old doctor two weeks after you arrived. You had heartburn and pain in your lower abdomen, so he asked you what you did, and you explained briefly what happened. He advised you to rest for the rest of the pregnancy without going into too much detail. At least until the baby’s born in February.

For the holiday season, your parents came with your brother to give you a little help. To fix the house and prepare a new room for the baby. It feels good to have them near you. You missed your parents terribly.

You and your mom have been talking a lot about Charles' case, and you’re feeling more and more guilty about leaving, but ever since you got here. You feel more comfortable and less stressed. You have no desire to return to Monaco.

She, however, advised you to contact him. Tell him that you are well and that the baby is too because, after all, he is the father. You were frustrated with her words, but you knew deep down that she was right.

You didn’t find the courage to unblock his contact, but you still sent a message to his assistant, telling her that you were fine and the baby was fine too. You didn’t add anything more. Only you don’t want to see him anymore and need to think.

A little embarrassed you couldn’t talk to him, but you wanted to hurt him like he hurt you.

It was only on the morning of Christmas Eve, the 24th, that you received a notification from your lawyer.

To be continued... 

[iwritelmao]

The Maximoffs

Summary: Peter Maximoff's twin, Wanda, comes to the school for a visit. She's slightly less good-tempered than her brother about the subject matter of their father. In fact, lately, she's been less good-tempered about pretty much everything.

(set a little bit after apocalypse) (let's pretend dark phoenix doesn't exist)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5 Coming Soon)

“I don’t understand why you don’t just talk to him.” The auburn-haired girl’s voice carried through the phone as Peter Maximoff sat on his bed, pulling the landline wire taught.

He rolled his eyes. “I just haven’t gotten the chance, yknow? First I didn’t know it was him, then we were kinda on opposite sides, and then there was all this stuff with…” The young man trailed off. “Anyway, he’s gone now. Not sure where he went.”

“Excuses.” Wanda said matter of factly. “You’re scared.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are Peter.” She said. “I know you. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it cause what if it’s even worse when it’s fixed? Sound familiar?”

“Oh, please,” Peter Maximoff laid back on his bed, keeping the phone to his ear. “You’re just as bad the opposite way. You try to fix everything cause you can’t stand not being in control of a situation.”

He heard his sister let out a long, annoyed sigh over the phone. When she didn’t say anything for a while, Peter wondered if he’d gone a tiny bit too far. Usually he just stuck to insulting her hair or her clothes, not her deep psychological problems.

“Now that we’ve both established the mental dirt we have on each other,” She started. “I hope your room’s clean.”

“What?” Peter looked around at the room. He hadn’t been there for too long, so he hadn’t gotten the chance to really make it a pigsty like his bedroom at home. Without another word, Wanda hung up. Shortly after, there was a knock on his door.

She didn’t wait for an answer before pushing it open and giving a wide eyed look of astonishment. “Shit, this place is nice.”

Peter laughed and immediately stood up to hug his twin sister. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Got let out on good behavior.” He gave her a flat look. “Okay. Fine. All seriousness… I dropped out.”

Peter waited for the punchline but it never came. “What?” Wanda Maximoff had dropped out of college. Wanda Maximoff who got into two Ivys. Wanda Maximoff who used to dream about leaving home and becoming a scholar, or a librarian, or a historian, something ordinary. “That’s not…”

“Like me?” Wanda asked. “Yeah that’s what mom said a few minutes before she kicked me out.”

“She kicked you out?!” Their mother had never even bothered to kick Peter out, and he was significantly more of a train wreck than Wanda. “What did you do?” She shrugged. Peter crossed his arms. “What did you say?”

“Something I didn’t mean. About her and… Erik Lehnsherr.”

“Of course you did.”

“What? I said I didn’t mean it!”

“Does she know that?” Peter asked, then shook his head. “Actually, I don’t care. I’m not getting in the middle of this one.”

“Fine.” Wanda sighed. “So… are you gonna show me around?”

Wanda absentmindedly twisted a thread of scarlet chaos between her fingers as she sat next to her brother in the dining hall. Considering the old house's nature, she suspected it must've been a ballroom some hundred years ago. Peter had shown her through the vast halls, the garden, and the library. She met Scott, Jean, and Kurt, Part of Peter's apparent new family. He hadn't said anything of the sort, but he didn't have to. This place had instilled more maturity in Wanda's brother than she or her mother had managed to in decades.

"So?"

"Sew buttons," Wanda said with a smile, stealing a piece of chicken from her brother's plate.

"Comedic genius."

"That's my name, don't wear it out."

"I mean, what do you think of the school?" He asked, a hint of hopefulness in his eyes.

"It's a beautiful building, and everyone here seems pretty nice..." Wanda started, looking around. "I'm happy for you."

"There's something else."

"No, there-" Wanda stopped talking when she heard a conversation happening in the doorway.

"I don't see what the problem is, Hank."

"Charles, the problem is that he's in my lab. He touched my centrifuge."

"Oh, god forbid-"

"I can't work with someone else in there. It's invasive."

"Ignoring how pretentious that sounds... just Erik him to my office. Let him know that I have a class to teach but I'll be there for out weekly chess game after."

Peter had followed his twin sister's gaze and joined in on her eavesdropping. Wanda turned to face him with a mischievous grin on her face. Despite their many physical differences; the fact that Peter looked more like their mother and Wanda looked like-holy shit Wanda looked like Erik-on top of their differing height and hair color; that mischievous grin was something the Maximoff twins shared.

Peter slowly realized what Wanda was about to do. "No." Her grin grew wider. "Wanda, don't even think about-"

"I just wanna meet him." She said, already standing up. Before Peter could stand up after her, someone Wanda didn't know yet had called his name and sat down across from him. "I'll meet you back in your room."

Wanda set off down the hall, towards the office that they'd passed once and Peter had mentioned in passing. She'd been thinking about this moment for as long as she could remember. The witch put her hand on the doorknob and opened it. Empty. She let out a sigh. Fine. She could wait a few more moments.

[lux-et-astra]

analysis of what each sink scene represents - session three

once again thank you tash for the reams of analysis material!!!! spoilers (obviously) under the cut

for reference, i'm calling fire/dry girl/narrator kate, and her victim/best friend birdie

needs to dig: here we have a father, a pool employee, and referenced is a young girl. now this scene sets up the important setting of the pool!! it is also, apart from the feathers/bath scene and some choice moments elsewhere ("Choke on a wet ham slice!"), the first mention we get of wet or dry! so this scene is starting to build the idea of needing to be dry, a theme which comes up a lot later, and so we can see pretty explicitly that the referenced young girl is kate rather than birdie. the fact that the parents are divorced ("Because �� her mum thinks I don’t give her enough physical outlets, I, I only get her every other –") suggests familial strife, which we can infer anyway from kate's living situation given that she lives (probably) with her grandmother. this scene sets up kate's need for dryness & her pyromania ("For the fire. She wants it all to be dry so it can be a fire. She won’t stop. She won’t stop until it’s all a fire.") which is interesting because we can definitely see that in her childhood and right up to the camping trip, kate's main desire was for fire, however it seems after the camping trip, her main desire becomes finding birdie. interesting! kate's also portrayed as very different from other children ("Everyone else got to bring their toys in!", "Sir, the problem we have, is that a metal spade is not a toy!") in that she is not interested in anything other children are interested in, she has different "toys", she doesn't do what they do. another facet to her obsession with birdie, perhaps? if kate isn't like everyone else, finding one person who likes her might be overwhelming enough that she never wants to let her go.

sand: ugh what is going on here. sand & psychic, two scenes in which i find very little to say. goddammit tash. ANYWAY! the main thrust of this obviously is the fact that birdie doesn't know what happened to kate/where she went ("Yeah, well people could be everywhere, couldn’t they? Once they… once they disappear, you don’t know!", "Well, I’m just saying, love, if you don’t need the sand, if you care about her, you tell me!", "Where is she?") which we can see is something birdie just does not know. the guilt trip of "if you care about her" is so interesting! it definitely puts the sand saleswoman as an antagonist against birdie and someone on kate's side - given this is all a dream, she could even represent birdie's image of kate (not kate but birdie's idea of her), asking to be found, in a visualisation of birdie's own guilt at leaving kate behind. the other fun thing about this scene i think is the implication that birdie is not safe because she doesn't know where kate is, which is very subtle i think ("People just feel safer, I think, if they can see the footprints, in, you know, in the sand in the house or home. You know where everyone’s been!") but is definitely implied. "People just feel safer [..] you know where everyone's been". oh my god been is such a weird word looking at it now. been. OKAY anyway this is calling out to birdie!! you're not safe!! where is she!! which puts the "where is she"s in a different light - ignoring the "if you care about her", then "where is she" is a call for birdie to protect herself. where is she. is she close. are you safe? whoo i got some nice analysis out of the sand scene! proud of myself for that.

children in there: monologue time!! we didn't get one in session two but here we go, another "i have a story"! fantastic. there's a lot of bizarre stuff in this one ("There were children in there, I thought. Children… in there. There weren’t any children in there, but imagining there were made everything feel more exciting." tash what the fuck) but it's a very plot scene as well! it sets up the "childhood friends" angle reinforced by cat ashes given that the speaker (birdie parallel) and the boy peter mansford he's talking about (kate parallel) are friends as children. there's the build-up of kate's childhood obsession with fire ("You can’t jump out, and no one comes. The fire consumes you and the Minotaur feasts on your bones.") but crucially it also provides some explanation for this!!! peter mansford (and therefore kate?!!) was in a fire himself and got maimed!! ("It didn’t kill him, the fire. But it did maim him.", "I’d wave, but I don’t want to boast about my hands. Best not to annoy him.") this also leads into a suggestion that family try to warn birdie off kate because she's dangerous/weird/etc, something we saw a little of in bearings and the feathers/bath scene, but gets a little more textually explicit here ("I told Margaret later, and she said “if that boy offers you something, just take it.”", "All things considered, best not to annoy him.") also, the mention of birdie & kate playing games together sets up the importance of the birdman game later! fun times. i think there's a very special quote in this scene - "children are allowed to have horrible tiny hands". given that it's implying that peter mansford (our kate parallel) has horrible tiny hands, it's very interesting that apparently only children are allowed!! i think the camping trip takes place when the girls are older teenagers, veering on adulthood - suggesting that kate's antics are about to get a lot less permissible. being obsessed with fire when you're a "harmless" little girl isn't such a crime, but being obsessed with fire when you're an adult with the capacity for harm is suddenly a problem. in fact it could lead to kate getting put away. so i think it's very interesting that the camping trip incident happens on the cusp of adulthood, when it's not "cute" anymore, when it's not "allowed" anymore, for kate to be as odd. children are allowed to have horrible tiny hands. adults? not so much. so kate needs to do something soon before she's not allowed anymore. also there's something about the triad of serial killing, right? bed wetting, setting fires, and cruelty to animals. kate's checking boxes ("Peter said “cowabunga!”, and went into the garden, and bothered the worms.", "She won’t stop until it’s all a fire.")

birdman 2: not masses to say here given there's not much new from birdman 1. however the fact that john and jim seem to remember a little more than they did last time ("How did you know that?") suggests that birdie, who's dreaming, might also start to be remembering more! the current-time plotline, birdie dreaming and kate giving sleep advice, is progressing - does kate want her to be remembering so soon? no. ("Not yet. We’re not there yet.") she keeps cutting it off before birdie remembers how she got out of the camping trip, how she found help. i wonder why? the dream only gets to the meeting of john&jim and birdie after birdie remembers the whole camping trip incident, although we get a little more each time ("Jesus – Christ, are you burnt?", "Oh my God, oh my God, what’s happened?") but crucially, never to john's line: "Oh – fire!". kate doesn't want birdie to remember the fire without remembering her first.

psychic: yeah this scene is there i guess. sorry tash i can't get on board with the jingly jangly beads. maybe it's cause i never did geography gcse. okay interesting things: the girl and her mother had a cat and the boy from cat ashes also had a cat. is that anything? no no it's not. fuck's sake. okay time to get into it for real this time. the person seeking the psychic's help is probably a birdie parallel, i think. so it's interesting that she's so interested in knowing how well her dead people-she's-close-to are doing ("Jus– just wanna hear she’s okay, she’s alright, she’s doing –") is this really about your mother, birdie, or is it about kate? clearly there's little reason you should feel guilty or worried about your mother ("Had years with her, did you? [...] Years of her holding you? And, and talking to you?") so where is this misplaced guilt coming from??? from kate. birdie wants to know that kate is okay in the afterlife cause she still feels guilty about leaving her behind! however kate is not happy with her! "She left! And she’s blaming you!" - this is OBVIOUSLY not about birdie's mother is it. but who does it sound like?? kate. "They do just get very selfish." interesting?? after kate's "death" she doesn't seem to care about anything other than birdie it's true. it's selfish of her to want birdie all for herself. it's selfish of her to want birdie when birdie wants to move on. what's best for birdie? to have kate or not? clearly she feels guilty. "It’s a simple question, no offence. Where did she go?" she feels guilty about not knowing what happened. she wants her to be happy in the afterlife. but i don't think birdie wants kate back. i think she just wants to stop feeling so guilty.

session three is one of my least favourites so i'm glad that's done fdhn;lgrw; i made no sense in some of those bits i'm so sorry. as always PLEASE chat back if you have any thoughts!!!

[aspoonofsugar]

Hi! I’ve read your RWBY shipping analyses and I know you don’t strong opinions about ships that aren’t canon, but was wondering if I could get some Whiterose ideas? I’ve come to terms with it not being canon, but do you think there was ever a point where they could have begun building on it? What direction do you think it could have leaned into that would be congruent with the rest of the story? This is more for canon-compliant fanfiction purposes as I want it to be as meaningful and purposeful as Bumblebee but I’m a bit stumped on where to go with it.

Hi!

Thank you so much for the rwby ask!

Oooh, it is great you are writing a fic with Whiterose and are trying to explore their relationship!

So, I am not the best one for this probably, but an advice that I would give is to start from the source material. I have written a little bit what I think of Whiterose here (sorry if you already read it):

Weiss and Ruby are each other's "hunting" partners. They fight side by side to save lives and pursue the same dream of becoming Huntresses. This is the thematic heart of their relationship, which is mirrored in their intertwined allusions. As a matter of fact there is a Hunter in both Snowhite and Little Red Riding Hood.

On the one hand Snowhite's Hunter is weak. He wants to help Snowhite, but all he can do is not to kill the princess and to leave her alone in the woods. On the other hand Little Red Riding Hood's Hunter is the hero of the fairy tale. He kills the wolf and saves the protagonist and her grandmother. What does it mean for Whiterose?

It ties in how Ruby inspires Weiss. Let's consider this scene:

Ruby: Weiss! Go for its belly! There's no armor underneath...

In the fairy tale, the Hunter kills a boar to help Snowhite. It is his one good deed. Similarly, Weiss kills a Boarbatusk with Ruby's help to act as a true Huntress. This is why the Grimm later on becomes an avatar symbolic of Weiss's Huntress side:

Port after Weiss kills the Boarbatusk: Bravo! Bra-vo! It appears we are indeed in the presence of a true Huntress-in-training!

Weiss in the aftermath of the party where she summons the Boarbatusk for the first time: The Schnee family legacy isn't yours to leave. It's mine, and I'll do it as a Huntress.

The metaphor is clear. Ruby (LRRH's Hunter) inspires Weiss (SW's Hunter) to grow into a hero. She leads Weiss towards a better version of herself:

Weiss: Just know that I am going to be the best teammate you'll ever have!

This is the perfect set-up for Weiss to eventually inspire Ruby back. For her to become the Huntress who saves Little Red Riding Hood:

Weiss: I don’t know who you think you are, but let me tell you who I am: I am the granddaughter of a hero and a child of a villain. I am a citizen of a fallen Kingdom and an heir to nothing. I will not be defined by my name because I will be the one to define it. I am Weiss Schnee, and I am a Huntress!

Past Ruby: So, are you a Huntress? Like the ones you read about in books? Ruby: I… I don’t know…

Volume 9 offers Weiss a perfect chance. Ruby is lost and is eventually eaten by two Big Bad Wolves (Neo and the Curious Cat). However, Weiss fails:

Ruby: Don’t worry. We’ll find a way outta here and we’ll go back home. Weiss? Weiss: It's… It’s all gone… There’s nothing left for me to go back to… Just like Beacon… Ruby: You did the best you could for Atlas, Weiss. Weiss: But it wasn't enough! We hatched a crazy plan that put a whole kingdom at risk, and we don't even know if we saved the Relics from… Maybe… Jaune and Winter were able to get them out, despite… everything… despite us…

Several times Ruby notices Weiss's pain and tries to comfort her. Several times Ruby is similarly struggling, but Weiss can't support her. Weiss herself explains why:

Weiss: Maybe she didn’t feel like she could… Ruby has always been the one to get us through the hard times. We say things like “We believe in you”, “We can count on you”. I know we mean well, but…

Weiss idealizes Ruby too much and downgrades herself. She thinks Ruby can lead them all, but Weiss has actually grown enough to guide others too. She shows it by helping Jaune:

Weiss: I think you’re asking too much of yourself. We’ve been telling ourselves that failing means we’re no good. But I can guarantee even the best Huntsmen in history… they’ve all lost. But they were still incredibly brave… and good.

Weiss's speech here is an inversion of her initial dialogue with Ruby. There she feels her best is not enough and she drowns in self-hate. Here, she realizes that even if she and her friends lose, they are still good people.

It is a game of mirrors. She fails to see Ruby because she can't help herself. She sees Jaune and saves herself by helping him.

In short, Weiss fails with Ruby, but succeeds with Jaune. I think this is key for Weiss, Ruby and Jaune's dynamic.

At Beacon, Weiss is too immature for Pyrrha and doesn't see Jaune as a romantic partner. She needs Ruby to grow as a person.

In the Ever After, Weiss depends on Ruby too much and needs Jaune (who is Pyrrha's legacy) to develop.

So, she grows with Ruby until she and Jaune are ready for each other. Now, her bond with Jaune is helping her to bloom in the friend Ruby needs. It is a virtuous cycle where both Ruby and Jaune help Weiss mature, so that she can be the best partner ever. Platonic for Ruby and romantic for Jaune (imo).

If this turns out true, then Weiss's Nevermore might be tied to both Ruby and Jaune (other than to her team and family).

It is already strongly associated with Ruby, as team RWBY killed the Grimm together. Moreover, Weiss first tries to summon it to save her partner:

Later on, she materializes its wings while fighting with her team minus Ruby:

And eventually conjures the whole thing, as Ruby comes back:

It is possible the Nevetrmore will be linked to Jaune, as well. After all, he is the one who calls Weiss "Snow Angel". The Grimm is meant to show that Weiss can indeed be an angel to others:

Ruby and Jaune are equally important for Weiss. She needs Ruby to end up with Jaune and she needs Jaune to be the Huntress Ruby deserves. At the same time, Ruby and Jaune represent two sides of Pyrrha, the partner Weiss initially wants.

I usually don't use spinoffs, but I think Ice Queendom makes it pretty clear:

Weiss looks at Pyrrha in awe, but the ones she needs are Ruby and Jaune.

Ruby is a paragon, just like Pyrrha. She has both mind and heart, like our Achilles. The main difference is that Ruby is younger, so she lacks experience and fighting prowess. Weiss needs Ruby for 2 reasons:

She needs to reconcile with her inner-child that has been suppressed by Jacques's abuse:

Weiss: I always wanted bunk beds as a kid.

She needs to see what's important is the heart (Ruby's idealism) and not the body (Pyrrha's fighting skills).

Don't mind the White Knight lens here and focus more on the bond between Ruby and Weiss. After all, in canon the two girls have much to offer each other!

As written above, I see them as each others' "hunter". Ruby is the LRRH's Hunter who inspires Snowhite's hunter to be better. So, I think it would be very cool for Weiss to grow into a huntress that can inspire Ruby back. I think this is happening in a platonic way, but it is an idea who can work very very well romantically.

You might also combine this idea with Weiss's Snowhite's allusion and play with her princess/prince's motif. Ruby and Weiss should then become each other's princess and prince. I think that if you are looking for inspiration the official RWBY anthology that focuses on Weiss has a short story about this idea :) Ice Queendom has also a lot of Whiterose fanservice/subtext that can help.

If you like Bumbleby's structure, I would also advice to build Ruby and Weiss's relationship so that they have 3 chemical weddings. You can take inspiration from alchemy or from Ruby and Weiss's respective weddings with Oscar and Jaune. In general so far:

The first wedding ties into a character allusion

The second into the other character's allusion

They have a metaphorical death and rebirth

The second one is the inversion of the third and has a nevermore in it (you can use Weiss's Nevermore, which is linked to Ruby already)

The third one is less violent and offers a sense of closure (a kiss for Bumbleby, for example)

In general, you might use Weiss's "death" in volume 5 and Ruby's "death" in volume 9, take Jaune out of the picture and have Ruby and Weiss save each other. Like, Ruby can be Weiss's prince and Weiss can be Ruby's Hunter and inspire her. That is the most straightforward solution I can think of. That said, you might explore other ones, depending on your fics' story.

Another thing to consider is the general progression you are going for:

Bumbleby is about two people being strongly attracted by each other, but also triggering each other. As a result, they have to change in order to be together. They are opposites who integrate.

White Knight is about two people who are the same, but this is precisely why they initially do not understand each other. They can't see themselves, so they do not see the other. As they mature and grow into themselves, they end up seeing the other better. They are the same and their bonds develop as they grow.

A final advice I would give is to have Ruby and Weiss separate for some time and develop individually. RWBY seems to be playing with the idea of "breaking ships up", so that the characters can develop on individually and then come back together.

Personally, I think that when it comes to White Rose this separation should be used to create a shift in their relationship: from sibling-like to romantic. I think RWBY is doing/gonna do it with both Renora and Emercury:

Renora are found family, but right now they are spiritually separated, so that Nora can redefine who she is. It is a moment of maturation for both, where they can rediscover each other in a new way.

Emercury are found family and you can easily see their bond as both sibling-like and romantic. My guess (headcanon?) is that the physical separation they are undergoing will be used to have their feelings mature, as romantic. To do so, they are given new characters that step in as "sostitutive siblings". Emerald has found a new sibling in Oscar. Mercury instead might get "siblings" in Jax and Jill, who could be foils to him. Through these parallel relationships Emerald and Mercury have the chance to grow as individuals, but also to realize the feelings they have for each other are not platonic, but romantic (or so I hope :)).

I think something similar for Ruby and Weiss would be nice. They meet at Beacon and become family/sisters (childhood). Then they get separated, mature and meet each other again as potential romantic partners (adults) :)

This is all I can think of, I hope these thoughts are useful!

Thank you and have a nice day!

[aeoki]

Blackjack - Miracles Don't Exist: Chapter 4

Location: Underground Family Residence Characters: Hitsugi & NEGI Season: Winter

TL Note:

1. The name of the sixth of the Seven Mysteries of Yumenosaki, 悪夢ノ咲 / akumu no saki, is a combination of the words “悪夢 / akumu / lit. nightmare” and “夢ノ咲 / Yumenosaki / lit. blooming of dreams”.

I’ve chosen to translate this as “Nightmenosaki”; a portmanteau of “nightmare” and “Yumenosaki”.

2. Both “Kisaragi Station / きさらぎ駅” and “Ura S ku / 裏S区” are ghost stories posted on the Japanese online forum 2channel. I can’t seem to find anything in English for the latter ghost story, but the basic gist of it is that a young boy wanders into a place called “Ura S ku” (“ura / 裏” meaning “behind” or “opposite side” and “ku / 区” meaning “district”), and talks about his odd and strange encounters with the residents there.  The connection here that these two stories share with the sixth Yumenosaki Mystery is that they all talk about someone who wanders into another space/world and encounters odd things.

Hitsugi: The sixth of the Seven Mysteries of Yumenosaki – “Nightmenosaki[1]”.

It starts with an introduction that’s common amongst most ghost stories: Late at night, a student sneaks into a dark Yumenosaki to fetch something he forgot.

Yumenosaki is an idol training school and security is pretty tight, so sneaking in can be a difficult task.

That student snuck in carefully using a route that no one would use.

He headed towards his classroom and tried to find the item he had left behind.

But then, he noticed something was strange.

He couldn’t find his classroom anywhere. In fact, the floors, walls and ceilings were old and crumbling to the ground.

Inside that ruin of a school were creepy “men in black” who were roaming the area.

If you get spotted by those men, then you’re out. You’ll get killed and won’t ever be able to return to your own world.

NEGI: “That’s a common ghost story~ If the people who experience that mysterious stuff are killed, then how did the ghost story come into being?”

“Don’t tell me a ghost rattled on and on about what they experienced and spread those rumours?”

Hitsugi: That’s because those on the mysterious side were the ones who told, of course. They did it to warn the students not to get close to the school at the dead of night.

A school falling to ruins that’s similar to Yumenosaki and only appears at night – that’s “Nightmenosaki”.

There are a surprising amount of ghost stories that talk about how people wander into a scary world. “Kisaragi Station[2]” and “ “Ura S ku[2]” are pretty popular, aren’t they?

The reason why anyone would be scared of those stories is probably because everyone has experienced being lost in an unknown place before.

They don’t know anything about their surroundings and there’s a fear that completely envelops them… That must be the first form of fear we of all humanity felt.

NEGI: “What are you talking about? I know you like the occult and scary stuff but…”

Hitsugi: Hehe. Please don’t panic – today is a new day and it has only just begun.

I’m sure you’ll still make it for “Star Fest” even if we chat for a long time. Slow and steady wins the race, Onee-chan.

NEGI: “You’re the one who tends to get panicked. Hearing that from you kinda irritates me.”

Hitsugi: Hehe. The Seven Mysteries of Yumenosaki are all made-up stories created to hide a repulsive truth.

It’s just foolish talk to erase the line connected to God. A product created from manipulating information.

That’s also precisely what “Nightmenosaki” is.

A calamity befell this land in the past. A flood caused a great landslide and the old Yumenosaki school became buried in the ground.

NEGI: “Ohh, I see…”

Hitsugi: Yes. “Nightmenosaki” is that buried school.

Right now, the building that has disguised itself as a ruin is the underground home of Ayase-senpai and the others.

Judging by the structure and the time period, I think Ayase-senpai and the others lived underground before that, but the landslide brought the school and several other things from the surface…

Ayase-senpai and the others in his family are making convenient use of that.

And in the current era, the connection between the underground and the surface exists – even if it’s miniscule and in the form of ghost stories.

That student used the route to go underground and entered the old and crumbling Yumenosaki school – that is the truth behind “Nightmenosaki”.

NEGI: “I had this thought before but if people spread that sort of ghost story, then wouldn’t idiots set up tests of courage here and storm the place?”

Hitsugi: Those sorts of idiots aren’t suited for being idols. Not for the type of idol God is looking for.

So those idiots are placed on a black list and made so that they can never find success in this industry.

You’ll be deprived of your role if you get near the taboo. That’s one common rule Yumenosaki and the far away Reimei Academy share.

Those who get too close to God – too close to the sun – will have their wax wings melted and they’ll fall to the ground.

NEGI: “We were deprived of our role, too.”

Hitsugi: Yes. It’s frustrating. But we’re still alive.

The Seven Mysteries are a few lines that connect to God. We’ll follow those thin spider threads and we’ll escape from hell.

And we’ll kill the demon that’s sitting in God’s place – “Priest”.

God is at the centre of the world. There are still many believers in the industry who think that way.

First, we’ll make those believers of the former God our allies.

And we’ll reveal the entire truth – accusing “Priest” of being a fake God.

That’s the only way we can live. 

No. That’s the only way we can seek revenge on “Priest”.

NEGI: “Just so you know, I’m not looking for a bloody battle.”

Hitsugi: I know. You want someone to listen to your songs, right, Onee-chan?

NEGI: “No. I want someone to acknowledge me – I want someone to know that I exist.”

“‘Star Fest’ is the perfect opportunity to do that.”

“It’s the second biggest idol festival aside from ‘SS’. I’ll wear the best outfit that Anzu made for me and…”

“I’ll sing. I’ll let the whole world know.”

“That we’re right here.”

“Anzu might be in a difficult situation right now, but if I sing, then maybe that will give her some courage.”

“It’ll show her that she’s someone amazing… That she’s the best ‘producer’ who can make someone shine the brightest. Maybe that will get through to her.”

“Those sorts of successful experiences and feelings make people strong.”

“That’s what I will send to her.”

Hitsugi: Can you risk your life for that, Onee-chan?

NEGI: “Who are you speaking to? I’m already dead but I’ve been given the right to risk my life once more.”

“There’s nothing that could make me happier. Thank you, Hitsugi.”

“For giving your sister another chance.”

Hitsugi: No, no. I love your singing so I just wanted to hear it again.

Hehe… Alright. I understand how you feel now.

It’s a “producer’s” job to respect those feelings and support their idol.

Let’s make use of the Seven Mysteries and escape from here.

That ghost story proves that the underground and surface are connected. We’ll find that connection and escape.

NEGI: “Right. I feel bad since it’ll mean Mayoi-sensei’s kindness would have been for naught. He protected us all this time.”

“But if we told him we wanted to leave, he would’ve definitely stopped us. He’s too kind.”

Hitsugi: Yes. It’s unknown how much the Seven Mysteries contain the truth, but it was stated that the student wandered into “Nightmenosaki” at “the dead of night”.

Maybe that’s the only time the connection will open. Come to think of it, that’s also the time when Anzu-senpai came to see us.

NEGI: “I see. I hope we can escape before a new day arrives.”

“Otherwise, we won’t make it in time for ‘Star Fest’.”

Hitsugi: Right. All the idols standing on this year’s “Star Fest” stage will call themselves Santa…

It would be a shame for Santa to be late, saddening the good children, wouldn’t it?

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[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

𓅨 Fortuna: Chapter Eleven

Fortuna: Born with what seemed to be the worst luck in the world, you have managed to get into, and out of, life-threatening situations all your life. That is until the plague of 1514. You had escaped Mother Death countless times before, but not this time. Mother Death has taken a liking to you, and with your kindling relationship, you become that which historians whisper about. You are the great Fortuna, Goddess Incarnate of luck, and ruler over fortune and fate. No one could have anticipated what your ties with Death would bring you: Pain. Torture. Death. Love.

Warnings: Angst, Gore, Death Mentions (From Previous Chapter) Panic Attacks.

To Note: Morpheus/Dream x ImmortalSpanish!Reader, Reader’s nickname is Fortuna. Fortuna is the Roman Goddess of personified luck and ruler over fortune and fate.

Word Count: ~3.7k

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“I seriously can’t believe you are still avoiding him,” Death said as you and she walked down a street in London. You aired out a huff under your breath and looked up at the buildings rising next to you. 

“I am not here to discuss my relationship with your brother, Teleute.” You uttered, your soft voice devoid of emotion. You stepped around a street vendor, your eyes glossing over the products in their cart. Death hummed at you and brushed her fingers across a planter box full of flowers. 

“Of course not, you’re here because you don’t know what to do, but what you do know, is that you don’t want Dream finding you. Perfectly logical.” Death spoke, leading you to a doorway. She entered and you followed, trying not to scowl at the truth of her words. You followed her through the building, up a winding staircase, and entered an apartment building. A woman was standing in the kitchen. She reminded you of an old grandmother, homely, always smiling, and often looking out for the younger generation. Her strings told you she had led a good life, a lucky one, 48 years married to her best friend, a stable job that paid well, and a large family. She never had children of her own but treated the college students that lived in the building as her own. 

“It’s my time to go?” The woman spoke. Death smiled at the woman and nodded. 

“Indeed it is, but you’ve had a good life, haven’t you?” Death said before gesturing towards the doorway of the flat. The old woman nodded and happily walked away, fading into the afterlife.

“The evidence I carry is more than enough for Morpheus to bring his wrath down on the mortals for a thousand years and that’s putting it lightly, even you should understand my reasons for trying to stay away.” You told Death, getting back to your earlier conversation. She started walking to the next appointment she had, you following behind her like the loyal friend you were. “You think after everything he went through, he needs the pain of that knowledge? Hasn’t he hurt enough already?” 

Death glanced back at you, her eyebrow raised. 

“He’s in pain not knowing what happened to you, Y/N.” She pointed out. “Believe me, I know my brother. He’s hurting more from not knowing what happened to you or where you are, than the fact that he spent 106 years in a glass cage.” You chewed your lip in indecision. 

“Then tell him I’m fine.” You stated as if it was obvious, crossing the street and wandering  through a building that you recognized as a memory care facility. Weaving through blank halls, you happened upon a room with nurses frantically working. Death did her job and turned back to you. 

“He’s not gonna take a simple ‘yes, Y/N’s fine’, Y/N. He’s gonna want to know what happened to you.” Death snorted, knowing perfectly well that Dream would take nothing but your physical presence in his, as an answer. “When my brother falls in love, he falls in love hard, fast, and stupidly. Brings a new meaning to ‘love makes you stupid’. Actually, I think he’s the one who invented it.” You made a face at her. “What I am saying, Y/N, is that my brother isn’t infatuated with you, he’s not besotted, or under your spell.” 

“Great, we’ve established that I haven’t gotten him under a spell and he tolerates me as a human… do you have a point?” You interjected with your jaw tense and your fingers twitching. Death turned to face you, grabbing your arm and swinging you around. You both had ended up in a small green space perhaps a few blocks from the memory care facility, you could feel the pull of bad luck near you. Someone was about to die. 

“Y/N, he’s in love with you.” She told you, her lips curved at the corner. “My brother is so in love with you he would tear the universe apart to find you. Probably will at this rate, he’s been everywhere lookin’ for you. With all that power he now has at his fingertips, I’m surprised he hasn’t found you.”

Guilt whispered its way through your veins and you looked away. Death narrowed her eyes.

“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

“He’s the one that made me like this, Teleute,” You answered flatly. “If he didn’t want me to use my own powers against him, then he never should have allowed me the power to do so.” So you were actively using the power Dream had imbued within you, to hide from him. Smart, and clever… but why were you doing this to yourself and Dream, if the love you shared was so strong? Death’s eyebrows pinched together in concern and confusion.

“What happened that has you so spooked? Do you not love him as much as he loves you?” You bristled at the insinuation of your love for the Endless being so menial and insignificant. 

“Do not assume that my adoration for mi amor has dwindled in my lone captivity.” You returned with darkened eyes, your voice just short of a hiss. Death could see just how much the mere suggestion of your love fading for Dream had you bristling and on defense. No, the blazing ardor between you and Dream was still an inferno of inextinguishable adoration. Death almost wanted to laugh. Yes, you and Dream adored each other, and that hadn’t changed in the 95 years you had been apart. But you were filled with insecurities and something shimmered behind your eyes. Something that left you cracked. You had the eyes of a frightened prey animal ready to bolt at the nearest sign of danger. Something had slashed away at your Spanish fire and held your confidence hostage. 

“Then why are you hiding from him?” Death pointed out ever so softly. Your guilt stabbed over and over at your heart, and you dropped your gaze. 

“I was beaten almost every day for 95 years, Teleute,” You whispered, hot tears gathering quickly in your eyes. “What do you think will happen if he finds out?”

“It’s not if, my friend,” She corrected you. “It’s when, and believe me, he’s gonna find out. This isn’t something you are going to be able to hide from him.” You were damn well going to try. A shudder of pain and hurt rippled through your body. Death took your hand and gave it a firm squeeze. “You are hurting yourself, Y/N. Please, stop punishing yourself by staying away.” You pursed your lips as metal screeched and crunched. The muscle beneath your left eye twitched once more as the flow of fate reared its ugly head. 

“I believe you have an appointment to get to, Teleute.” You stated flatly, glancing at the wreckage of cars on a nearby street. There already were sirens piercing the air and people screaming. “They are awaiting—“ A new kind of shiver traveled up your spine, one you hadn’t felt in almost a century. Oh you knew that shiver, you knew that feeling. You stiffened in place with a soft gasp and twisted your head around, your eyes searching. It took you less than a second to fixate on what made your nerves tingle and fire. Your eyes connected with stars and the man they belonged to. Everything around you ceased to exist, but rather than feeling breathlessly happy…. anxiety and fear gripped you tight, and you started trembling. “I— I need to go.” 

Breaking free from Death, you ripped your gaze from that of Morpheus’s and fled, your bright red scarf flapping behind you. 

12 Hours Earlier

Hob was walking across his campus, thinking hard about how he was going to help both Dream and you. Dream was desperate to find you, you were avoiding him at all costs. The both of you were hurting and needed each other, but you, something had hurt you so deeply that you were running from the one you loved the most. Sighing, Hob ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. It was not going to be an easy task. 

“Professor Gadling?” Hob stopped walking and turned in place to see a woman approaching him. 

“Hello, yes, that’s me, can I help you?” The woman smiled. 

“You and I share an acquaintance, and I could use your help.” 

———————

Hob was starting to question his and Death’s plan to get you and Dream back together. For one, the last time he had angered Dream, he had almost lost his friendship with the Endless. Second? He really didn’t want to be on the goddess of luck, fortune, and fate’s, bad side. But the two of you really needed to talk to each other. You were hardly going to heal from your trauma if you refused to speak to anyone about it, and Dream? It was time that he stopped sulking about because you were hiding from him and Dream knew it. So walking towards the small park where Death had told Hob to lead Dream at 5:52 pm, Hob couldn’t help but continue to sneak looks at Dream. 

“What is it, Hob?” Dream asked, his voice quiet and low as usual. Hob stuffed his hand into his pockets and scrambled to answer, knowing that he couldn’t lie. 

“Are you sure you aren’t busy right now? You’ve been away from your realm for so long, are you not swamped with work?” Hob asked, glad that he had come up with a plausible question. Dream eyed his friend. 

“Given recent events, I have reevaluated how my realm is run,” He answered. “I do not need to do everything myself.” Dream tilted his head to the side, his mind wandering. “I also have certain priorities right now and finding Fortuna is most important.” 

“Must be some woman,” Hob commented as they crossed the street. They were less than a block away from the small park and right on time. Hob only hoped that you wouldn’t be too angry at learning that you had been set up. 

“Y/N has a strong constitution and morals, she is the woman you meet once within your lifetime. Even in mine.” 

“Y/N?” Hob repeated. Dream blinked. 

“Fortuna’s birth name when she was mortal,” Dream explained, pausing in front of a busy street. A small park was just beyond the other side. “Very few remember it save for those in her hometown of Rhonda.” 

“She’s from Rhonda? I’ve heard that’s a very beautiful city. Should probably visit it sometime, great history.” Dream hummed in agreement and the pair then crossed the street. Entering the park, Hob and Dream walked along the path for only a few moments before the Endless was frowning. Then Dream's eyes caught sight of his sister and froze in place at the sight. How many hours had he spent in the last week searching for his lover, little you, who had been taken from him so violently decades ago? It seemed like an endless task that produced no results because for some reason, you wanted to hide from him. Yet here you were, standing meters from him, speaking with his sister. 

You looked nothing like how you had when you first met. Your body was in a position of defense and the air around you shimmered with nervous energy. The hair Morpheus had spent so many dreams running his fingers over and through, was now styled short and pixie-like. The bones in your face were prominent with emaciation. You didn’t look anything like the proud Spanish immortal he had met 106 years ago. You were but a shell of your former self, gaunt and sheltered. Morpheus was only milliseconds away from surging forwards, striding across the park to take you in his arms… when your head twisted and your eyes met his. He expected happiness to fill your eyes, elation, hope, relief, any of those feelings… but that was not what filled your eyes and appeared on your face. You looked stricken with fear and instantly turned tail, muttering a quick word to Death before rapidly disappearing into the crowd of chaos behind you. 

What had just happened?

Dream immediately walked forward, taking long strides in the direction of his sister and where you had disappeared to. He couldn’t lose you again. Hob was at his heels, worrying about you. You had run with such fear and anxiety, something must be wrong. But the moment Dream moved to stride past his sister, his arm was grabbed and Death was stopping him from following you. 

“Dream, no,” Death warned her brother. Dream’s eyes snapped to his sisters, novas appeared in his irises and anger at being stopped filled his body. All around them the atmosphere grew cold and dark, and even the mortals were disturbed. Death stared him down firmly. “No.” Hob caught up, and Death nodded to him. “Will you see that she is alright?” Hob gave her a nod and hurried after you, knowing that you were most likely going to one place. 

“Death, you will explain this immediately,” Dream hissed at his sibling, his rage palpable and powers still affecting the Waking World. “What reason do you have for keeping me from my beloved!?” It was clear just how angry Dream was with Death, but he needed to understand just how precarious your emotions were at the moment. “You will—“

“Dream,” Death called sharply, cutting Dream off and placing her hands on his shoulders so he was forced to look at her rather than in the direction you had disappeared. Dream glared at his sister expectantly. “When Y/N was taken from you, she was moved to a place she only recently escaped from, and they were not kind to her.” 

Dream’s anger shifted from his sister to those who had mistreated you. The atmosphere around them still didn’t lift from dreary and desolate. Death looked down and sighed. 

“She is flighty and nervous right now, and neither Hob nor I can get her to talk about what transpired.”

“Which is why I should be—“ Death cut him off a second time. 

“Dream,” At Death’s stern call, now entirely serious. “Something happened to her in the last 95 years, and it is up to her if you are to know. Please, respect her wishes.” Dream’s jaw clicked as he clenched his teeth. “If I let you go, will you respect that? Will you respect her choices?” 

“You think I wish to ever cause harm or pain to my Tyche?” Dream rumbled, forcing his churning emotions to lessen so the Waking World and the mortals did not suffer from what he felt.

“This isn’t about you intentionally causing her pain,” Death told him gently, staring up into his storm filled eyes. “You can do it without even realizing it brother. If you love her, you will let her tell you on her own time.”

Dream and Death had followed the trace of Hob back to The New Inn, and took seats at a table while Hob was upstairs trying to coax you from where you had locked yourself up in your borrowed room. They mostly sat in silence, but only after Death had given Dream the talk of stealing her human. Really brother? You had to go and fall in love with my human!? Dream had merely rolled his eyes and told his sister that circumstances made it quite hard to not get to know you.

“It is not as if I designed to steal her from you, sister.” Dream answered as Death gave him a scowl. “After Roderick Burgess learned of her immortality, she was placed within my cage.”

Death sighed once more and rubbed her forehead, knowing that you, her precious human and oldest friend, had suffered merely because of your ties with Death. How else would the mortal find out about your immortality but by killing you?

“Was she at least treated humanely?” Dream’s eye twitched, memories of what had transpired between Burgess and you. He recalled the way your throat had been ruthlessly cut open, blood spilling down your body in vibrant crimson rivers. He remembered the way your eyes had caught his for but a mere moment before the light of life was snuffed out. Dream remembered clearly, the way you had screamed and thrashed against the hands of those tasked with holding you down as your ankle was treated to prevent you from losing your foot all together. You hadn’t known each other for more than two weeks, but your agonized screams had nearly drawn Dream from his statuesque position to smash what little power he had left against his glass cage. Anything to cease your pain and suffering. The only reprieve he had gotten from your sounds of agony came when you had passed out and gone limp.

That had been the first moment Dream had chosen to move, ignoring the mortals to render what care he could provide to little you. You had been so cold, so listless, within his arms. Dream had feared that you would once again perish before his eyes. But you had recovered and an agreement between Dream and you had been formed. He wished for you to survive, and you had. It had been foolishly easy to be swept away by you, from your lovely smile, to your pretty eyes and fiery nature, Dream had spent countless hours watching you in your dreams. No one knew you more intimately than he.

“Dream?” The Endless was stirred from his memories and willed away the red tint of anger at those that had hurt you.

“She wasn’t starved, at least not in the years we were together,” He answered, knowing that the true answers his sister sought, would not be kind and were better left unsaid. Death frowned and took a collective breath, knowing that he wasn’t going to share much more about what had transpired. Least of all the details.

“Will you at least tell me were she got her limp from?”

“She did not take kindly to being chained,” Dream explained, his lip curling at the one wound he knew would always haunt him. No matter how much time had passed since it had healed. “And the wounds wrought from her struggles got infected, treatment was only rendered after her flesh began to die.” Your screams once again echoed in his ears. Death was quiet for a moment, then tried to lighten the mood because her precious younger brother loathed being teased.

“So,” She called out, leaning towards him with a cheeky smile. “How long did it take?” Her eyebrows went up and Dream was the one sighing.

“Must you question everything that transpired between Fortuna and I?” Death elbowed him in the side.

“Come on, Dream, how long?” He eyed her, but was saved by Hob going down the stairs. Just by the look on his face, the pair knew that whatever he had to say, wasn’t good. Apparently, you had squirmed yourself into the tightest possible space you could in the guest bedroom. Which wasn’t hard given your emaciated state and it was rather impressive, circumstances aside. You refused to come out and were hyperventilating in an anxiety attack while shaking like a leaf. Hob had never seen someone so stricken with fear and anxiety… and he had seen many a thing in his six centuries of living.

“I’m pretty sure she’s having a panic attack but she won’t let me near her and she’s refusing to come out of the guest bedroom,” Hob explained with a heavy sigh. “Every time I try to go near, her magic stops me. I can’t get through to her physically or with words, and I don’t know what else to do.” Dream glanced at his sister and Death gave him a look. 

“Dream,” She warned him. He returned the look. 

“I will not have my Tyche suffering alone any longer,” Dream growled before rising to his feet and striding for the stairs. His legs carried him across the bar and up to Hob’s flat in seconds. He could feel your tumultuous emotions blanketing the flat like thick smog. You were truly in distress, and he hated that. It wasn’t hard to pinpoint where you were, your little spark of power drew Dream to where you were hidden. Pushing open the door to Hob’s guest bedroom, Dream’s eyes immediately went to where a desk and dresser were, nearly side by side. He walked over, seamlessly striding through the barrier of your magic, and knelt in front of you. You had squeezed your body into such a tight space that your trembles were barely pronounced, but the shake in your hands and your ragged gasps for air were unmistakable. 

“My Tyche,” He whispered to you. You flinched and your fingers buried into your messy hair, nails scratching at your scalp. You were muttering things, over and over, beneath your breath in broken Spanish. At times so fast that Dream couldn’t understand what you were saying. He called to you once more, trying his best to be patient with you. You needed a gentle hand. “Fortuna,” You still refused to unfurl from your little ball, you power rippling around you in waves of distress and despair. Dream tried one last time. “Y/N, my beloved.” At his soft call and use of your birth name, you finally responded.

 Red-stained eyes, glistening with fresh tears, met his and you proceeded to burst into tears through your wheezing. Eyes glowing with mercury, Dream all too easily pulled you from the tight little nook you had tucked yourself into and gathered you in his arms. You had lost so much weight since he had last held you within his arms and your bones were very apparent. Even more when you finally wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face into his skin. He only held you stronger. “Y/N you need to breathe.” 

“I— I can’t,” You hiccuped and gasped for breath, trying to do as he bade with your face pressed against his neck. It was hard and you struggled, feeling as if all of your fears were condensing to drag you deeper into the pit of despair you were stuck in. Dream raised a hand and brushed his fingers across your cheek. He gently pulled your face away from where you had tucked it and pressed his forehead against yours. 

“Yes, you can,” He whispered to you, running his thumb along the crest of your cheekbone. “One at a time, my beloved, you only need to try one at a time.” It was a struggle for you. A massive one. This was everything you wanted to avoid and yet, everything you wanted at the same time. His gentle gaze and adoring touch once again soothed your physical fear. Your breathing finally evened out but your tears continued to fall. Because, in the end, you had no idea how to tell your lover that what he used to lavish and adore, no longer existed. You were broken, and who wanted a broken lover?

Date Published: 1/8/23

Last Edit: 1/8/23

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[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Hey, Ralph.

I don’t know how to word this, but do you have any tips for learning to enjoy life again? I’m 24. Just graduated a couple months ago with a Masters. I feel stuck in my current job—not really liking the work anymore, not feeling fulfilled, not making a lot of money, not clicking with my boss. I do what my boss asks but I don’t feel supported by him and don’t see him as someone I can go to if I have a question or need help, which slows down my work. I also feel so much pressure from my parents to do well in my career. My relationship with my dad consists only of talk about my career/money and how I’m not where I need to be in life. He hates that I didn’t major/work in a STEM field or do business.

I don’t really have any interests either. I mean, I feel so burnt out from my education that I can’t even enjoy the things I used to anymore. I went straight from undergrad to masters and feel really burnt out from that. I used to love reading and writing but I can’t enjoy it without feeling like it’s an assignment. But I also find it hard to commit to learning new things now that I don’t have deadlines or guidance on it. I don’t really do much when I’m not working. And I find myself being more and more envious of friends who are having new experiences, getting prestigious jobs, and doing things I’m still afraid to do.

I hate living at home with my family and I fell into a really serious depression when I had to move home from campus at the start of the pandemic. Even though I’m an adult there are rules I have to follow. I can’t really go out or drink, and it’s pretty traditional for the whole family to live together so I feel like I’ll never be able to move out, even if I could afford it (which I’m not quite able to do yet). There’s no privacy and no peace. We can’t even get along yet no one can just move out. I feel so fucking suffocated sometimes.

I’m terrified of driving even though I have my license. I have serious social anxiety and only one friend. I find it hard to stick up for myself and am often seen as weak. I struggle to stay consistent in my search for a new job just because I’m terrified of rejection and of the interview process. I’ll start and stop but can just never stay committed. So I’m stuck.

I was in therapy but now that I graduated I no longer qualify for reduced price sessions. I also am not sure how much it really helped, but I guess I felt better when I had then vs not having them now.

Objectively, things aren’t that bad. I still have a job and savings and have somewhere to live and find joy in little things, like new music. And I’m so lucky to have a sister that is comfortable driving and takes me where I need to go. I also dream about a better life, and that makes me happy momentarily but that ends up making me sad when I begin to think how far away (or even impossible) that is for me. Seriously wishing I was a kid again.

I know you don’t know me and wouldn’t be able to fix/solve anything even if you did, but do you have any words of wisdom you can share for how to navigate tough times?

Oh anon - I'm sending you so much love. I'm sorry that you're . I'm particularly sorry about your Dad and your living situation - that is really hard.

What worries me about offering advice is it seems like your brain is using anything you could do to make your life better as something that you're failing at.

So my first bit of advice - is understand that the voice in your brain is not always telling you the truth.

For example, your brain seems to be telling you that you can only find a job if you commit to the process. That's not true. You don't have to stay committed to a job hunt to find a new job. A job hunt is much more like a lottery, than building up a particular muscle. Each application that you put in is a chance. The fact that you've put in 10 applications doesn't improve your chances on the 11th (guess how I know?). Every new job application is a new chance.

Unfortunately you can't know when the winning ticket will come up and rejection from jobs is horrific (or at least I've always found it so). Do what you can - don't set impossible standards.

Reading this - it seems to me that you're doing really well in difficult circumstances. Can you start by acknowledging that?

**********

One of the questions I have is - how much is a problem is it that you can't drive? It will really depend on where you live. In some places you can do what you fundamentally need - to do whether or not you can drive. In other places, driving is essential for independence and ability to do things. Even when it's perfectly possible to navigate the world without a car - driving can still feel like something you should be able to do. Can you unpack those feelings? Are there options to get where you want to go besides driving? In which case who cares if you can drive?

In terms of not feeling overwhelmed. I think it'd be good to consciously pick some aspects of your life that you're not working on. You can't find a new job, plan to move out, figure out how your driving anxiety and you driving can coexist and find a free therapist all at once. Start gentle. Aim to do one of those, sometimes, but make sure you don't do any of it at least one weekend a month.

It doesn't matter which one you pick - it really doesn't. It's the act of consciously not doing the others that matters.

**********

Another thing you could do is do things that are easy and do them badly. You say that you don't have the energy to learn new things. You seem to have a lot of gremlins in your brain that says you must be good at things for them to be worthwhile (not your fault).

I've done some drawing over the last few years - I'm definitely can't draw - I just do it sometimes and I feel my brain go 'I like this form of stimulation'. Or maybe buy a cheap craft kit aimed at children so you can make something (I've recently borrowed some lego off family members with children and made it and found that very satisfying). Don't push this - don't do things because you should - but think about doing something playful (google artists dates for other ideas)

*********

Finally, and this is my most concrete bit of advice - don't try to make friends - just try to do things with other people. Thinking about 'making friends' is to set yourself a task that you can't control. Make the thing you're trying to do as easy and achievable as possible.

For human contact when you're feeling isolated - the easiest thing is to go along to something that is already happening and happening regularly. This could be a class (anything that takes your fancy - as long as you won't try and be good at it), something that has some kind of purpose (plant trees or overthrow the government), or events like board game evenings. If you do something with other people regularly that will help your brain. You might make friends, or you might not, but adding things to your life (as an experiment - you don't have to stick at things you don't enjoy) is your best chance to find some joy.

*******

Some further advice that might help.

I recommend Captain Awkward - who has good advice about on what to do when it feels impossible to leave home and how to find people.

I also think Oliver Burkeman can be really good for burned out people who still want to make their life better.

Finally - it is really hard navigating this world. You are doing really well.

[ntls-24722]

attention number(???) of the DJ community

I have a special question for you 2 in fact,

how did cameron & Miguel really really mad like how was the start the very very start

(number one question is devoted into two)

and what did cameron family thought about her I know one time you said all his brother was OK with this or what not I don’t really remember pretty well, but I want to really know how they felt about their son having a relationship with something out of this universe(pretty powerful relationship to me)

Number 2

how does Fritz really sound like? His sound his voice because I tried to have a conversation in my head between him and BB and I tried to stick really deep sounds into him. But I can’t imagine anything but an old man found. But I don’t know which sound work with him, especially my voice isn’t helping.

(BB had so many conversations about human organs, and which one of them taste better when you cook it with him)(they even went on “ buried corpse adventure” in the woods and they come out with one human head that was completely gone and do rabbits)

I know so many questions, but I love them

I felt very curious

and I feel that cameron would you read us a story in front of warm fire and will make small silly jokes that will make us laugh. We share cookies and milk. “ and he would be the Santa clause for the year.”

Last but not least I hope you have a very good day/night, eat healthy ,enjoy your holiday ✨

OOH. ACTUALLY IM JUST GONNA RUN DOWN THEIR WHOLE. RELATIONSHIP ACTUALLY

So, Cameron met Miguel like everyone else who has met Miguel. By pure chance, walking in some random direction to get to some random place, he went one of Miguel's viewpoints (aka, points where Miguel and our universe connect).

There is no way to determine where Miguel's viewpoints are, they are random spots in random places. The only way he found it is because he took a detour walking to work because he saw his favorite butterfly and followed it - by pure chance, while following it, he stepped on one of Miguel's viewpoints, and landed in one of Miguel's levels.

The infamous backrooms picture already looks vaguely like a spot in Cameron's workplace. So when he woke up there, he thought he had already got to work. For like an entire hour, he just wandered trying to get to the front before he realized that there is no front. It took him 4 months to get out of there, because similarly to Miguel's viewpoints on earth, the viewpoint to get back is unmarked, isn't in a particularly unique place, andit looks identical to everywhere else - the only reliable way to find it at Cameron's time was to just step in every square foot of the place. And eventually Cameron did. He came back to our universe at the exact time he left it, to his surprise. He returns home, extremely weirded out, because he just spent 4 months in some weird place yet spent no time in his own world.

(To answer an earlier question of yours, Cameron and Miguel met on neutral terms - Cameron just thought Miguel was weird, and Miguel didn't care about Cameron's existance or presence)

He's on his way to work. He thinks he's crazy. So he goes back there just to confirm that he was just dreaming... and confirms the opposite! He ends up back in Miguel in a completely different level and spends another 4 months or so in Miguel.

Generally, that's the maximum amount of times people visit Miguel. They find her by accident, are surprised and go back to her again to confirm it wasn't a dream, they find out it wasn't a dream, and never come back because before Cameron started dating Miguel, It took a month or more to leave because you had to have stepped literally everywhere to find the exit. This isn't enjoyable for anyone.

Well, it isn't enjoyable to anyone except Cameron Filali who already fucks around empty abandoned buildings on the weekends.

To Cameron, he just found a way to freeze months of time. Sure, he's not doing a lot in those months, but with the way he's using it, he personally feels like he only goes to work every couple of months.

Miguel starts to take interest in him because he is the only person who visits her in such a high frequency (every other day compared to maybe once or twice every 5 years) and he also doesn't seem to be visiting her for any real purpose - from her perspective, all Cameron does is go in and... live in her for awhile, and also spend much time photographing and admiring her. Eventually, this person also starts to monologue to her and be physically affectionate to various objects within her.

I feel the need to mention that Cameron is not aware that Miguel is actually sentient at this point, but that doesn't stop Cameron from falling in love with this mystical place that seems to not abide by the laws of physics, even if it never stays the same everytime he visits (which is no surprise, at least to me, far less interesting objects and places have become the apple of his eye before). Despite him being unaware that Miguel is actually sentient, he kind of interprets Miguel to be sentient in his own head and personifies everything in her, including... her! This is the point when Miguel is officially named Miguel and Miguel is both flattered and intrigued by this.

So, Cameron monologues to Miguel, complimenting her, but also points out inconsistencies between Earth and Miguel ("Paintings usually are hung on nails back home. There's a string on the back and you can hang it up. Though, you seem to be doing just fine without them") that actually slowly make Earth and Miguel similar (he also points out that he can't see miguel's exits, and that is also promptly fixed, to his surprise). Miguel indirectly shows her affections to him with lovey dovey decorations and food, and while Cameron takes notice, he doesn't realize the larger force at play until eventually, Miguel decides to semi-directly tell him her feelings with a little pie and a note that had his name in hearts.

Which, for a few seconds, scared the everliving shit out of Cameron. But immediately afterwards, he was estatic that his feelings were actually mutual and the rest is ✨history✨.

Though when it comes to his relationship and his family? Cameron hasn't told anyone in his family about his relationship other than his brother, and his brother didn't take it well (basically just called him delusional/stupid), but his brother promised not to tell anyone else and at least he has kept that promise - the rest of his family would ridicule him for it. He's already very openly effeminate and single (his family has just assumed the reason why he's single is because he's gay, but when it comes to people he's actually pansexual) and his family is not very queer friendly. He doesn't imagine they would be objectum-friendly, either. They would just think he's crazy and further ostracize him.

I don't actually have an official voice for Fritz. He does have a deep voice, though, so you were on the money on that one! I can't say much other than that but he speaks in a particularly monotone delivery with most people except for people he likes.

And, about that last line, I confirm that Cameron would do that. He doesn't have kids of his own but he's a fun great-uncle and often takes care of his nieces/nephews, though he is still awkward around other adults even though he's 65.

enjoy your holidays too!! :]🎉✨

[cattatonically]

Rescue Me - K.M. Neuhold (Heathens Ink, book 1)

Synopsis

I’ll save you as many times as I have to, even if it means saving you from yourself

My heart pounds erratically as the crowd swells around us, panic thick in the air. This can’t be how I die, not here, not tonight. Through the throng of bodies, I can see him…Thane. Of all the ways I thought tonight would end, this wasn’t even on my list. Pain lances through me and I can tell by the look in his eyes that whatever just happened, it’s bad. My hand reaches for my leg and I find it sticky and wet with my own blood.

Whatever happens, I know Thane will save me.

Screams, and blood, and tragedy haunt my dreams. I’m alive and I owe it all to the gorgeous former marine who refused to leave me for dead. But how can I start a new relationship when I’m not even sure who I am anymore?

**This is the first book in the Heathens Ink series in which every book can be read as a stand alone. This is a steamy M/M romance with hurt/comfort themes and a guaranteed HEA

CAUTION: this book is recommended for readers 18+ and does contain one scene of graphic violence that may disturb some readers.

My Thoughts Rescue Me begins very strongly with an incredibly tragic event. During that event, Thane saves Madden’s life. And then they both begin healing – from both physical and mental wounds. And to help with that, Madden moves into Thane’s home. They don’t know each other very well yet, but they’re bound to get to know each other very well from the proximity.

Madden’s had a hard life, and is a recovering addict. He’s proud of his sobriety and how far he’s come, and of the family he’s built at the tattoo shop he works at, Heathens Ink. And it’s that pride that really shines throughout the majority of his healing journey. It’s also that pride that draws him to Thane, who’s led a very dangerous life as a marine and firefighter.

Even as their relationship begins to build, Madden has a metric fuck tonne of trauma he has yet to work through. I’m no stranger to PTSD. I’ve had PTSD for the better part of 20 years. And watching Madden struggle to come to terms with the fact that he would benefit from therapy breaks my heart. The stigma surrounding mental illness is still so real, and though Madden has a very good reason to be wary of therapists and psychologists, it just adds a whole other layer to his trauma.

But Madden makes it through – after a very serious setback. He makes it through, and he works on what he needs for himself to live the life he wants – happily and healthily. Madden has an incredible support network between Thane and his Heathens Ink family. And he learns to set boundaries for himself while also focusing on working through his roadblocks in the course of his PTSD management and recovery.

My heart went out to Madden in so many ways in this book. I saw a bit of my own recovery through Madden’s, and I couldn’t help but become extremely emotionally attached to his character for that reason. But overall, I loved this story. I love all of the Heathens Ink family, and I’m so excited to dive into more.

[clover-the-awesomest]

Okay! I made a little ask on your other account specifically for your AU :)

But, since we're on the topic of au's, I actually have a little recommendation for another one that you've probably heard of, but in my opinion, it's still pretty underrated and deserves all the love in the world. It's called the Little Brother au, and Sharkfinn, the creator of it, made an original character named Spot. It's basically a separated au where Spot is being raised by Draxum, except this Draxum is just a really good Dad, so that's nice for a change. There's a lot more that goes into it, but I don't wanna spoil anything. So just go check it out if that sounds interesting at all. It's just that after Cass's Apocalyptic Series ended, Finn's au has really gotten me through that tough pain of letting an amazing story go. So, maybe it could do the same for you.

Say, I've actually chatted with Finn a little bit about digital art and how he's made his au, so if you wanted, you could ask him some questions! I think he'd be happy to have another fellow oc au comic artist in the Tumblr space asking for some pointers :]

But that's just a suggestion. Regardless, I'm happy to see others make their own au's with their own storylines and characters and world building and all of that because it is my absolute DREAM to create my own fan works and share it with a fandom as big as this one. That's what sharing your passion is all about, man! It's my absolute happy place just interacting with the things I love and making others laugh and learning a thing or two along the way, yk?

But I gotta stop myself right there because I'll start rambling on-and-on about my love for this fandom because God knows I'd never stop, lol. Anyway, I'm happy to be here, so thank you for having me ❤️

I’m thinking of putting a comic up for your ask right now I’m so ready to get going with it

AAAAAAAAAAA but thank you for the suggestion and the motivation to keep going with this AU! It’s a pretty big project that I’ve had playing in my brain for the past couple years and it means a ton to me!

Totally forgot to even mention what it’s called lmao - It’s called the New Home AU. The name symbolizes Clover’s entrance into a new, healthier life and a new home with a new family. Her name also ties into some important details later down the line which is completely unintentional on my part, but I’m not saying what until someone asks for the answer on my blog~ I’m not teasing anything cuz I literally just realized this as I’m typing it but if anyone out there were to randomly be like “Hey why’s ur name Clover???” I’ll just make a response like “Hey yeah so uhh it’s cuz of this one random detail that I literally just noticed haha” I doubt someone would ask that and they don’t have to at all but it would be so hilarious if that happened right????

ANYWHIZZLE I think I’ve heard of this AU actually! I found an animatic around a year or so ago on YouTube of a smaller turtle brother being sad about the fact that he can’t do his bandages properly on his own and Raph comes in, offers to help, while the little guy remisces on his time with Draxum. Though that last bit had an ominous subtext to it so I’m gonna assume that’s not it… I’ll totally check this AU out though! Seems super fun!