#don’t ask me why he drinks like that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dykedvonte · 6 months

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Ok so we know you love Benny (rightfully so, I mean look at the man) but do you have any thoughts on the other Chairmen? Swank and Tommy specifically?

I have so many thoughts on the Vegas families but even more on the Chairmen just because of how unique their position is.

Like to start off, I have mentioned and still fully believe the Chairmen are the most paranoid and distrusting of all of the Vegas families. You can get sucked into many personal dramas and plights when it comes to the other Vegas Families; Quest-lines that get you super involved with their inner workings and pasts, ergo, quest-lines like Beyond the Beef and How Little We Know. Other than the very little side quest we get from Tommy, where you don’t even out in a good word for the Aces Theater for the talent recruits, your very boxed out with the Chairmen.

While the other families are more curious and intrigued by the NCR and Legion tensions rising, House being killed and other things, the Chairmen are always paranoid, concerned and negative. They mention wanting to leave like in the old days but can’t drop the act. They don’t mention anything that isn’t in a way that relates back to them and it tells how little they wish to or do interact with those outside the family. Swank mentions how he doesn’t trust the other families and the sentiments are shared with Tommy who discourages you from seeing the other sights. They are probably not purposely isolating themselves but they keep to their own. I only think this is extrapolated by House favoring Benny as a successor and possibly more restrictions on them. They were the first family and likely the prototype of whatever is detailed in their contracts. House was not as lenient as he is now, taking Swank referring to House’s rules into account.

Specifically about Tommy and Swank is interesting. Tommy feels like he’s older to me, not like more mature but he’s been around to see how far the Boot-Riders changed into the Chairmen. He’s not like an old guy either but older than Swank and Benny. I like to think he’s a middle ground to Swank and Benny, where Benny is the idealist, Swank is the nihilist and he’s there realist. You gotta real with people when you work in entertainment. He has a keen eye and can tell when things aren’t right but doesn’t jump out of his lane, not without provocation that is. In relation to Benny, I think Tommy’s like a snide older brother type guy. He rips on Benny cause the guy is so obsessed with not being seen as a tribal anymore but Tommy of all people can see when someone is playing too much into a bit. Benny keeps him close cause he keeps him real.

Swank is described in universe by House as being dependable but unimaginative. I don’t think that’s fully the case but he isn’t the person to push things in my eyes either. He has complaints but he does what he’s asked of and is loyal. More of a “Are you sure” Man than a “Yes” Man. I don’t think he sees the best in the people around him but prefers to see them as static. I take this with how hard it is to convince him that Benny is a traitor and how he seems shocked you are so ready to kill him. Things run a certain why and it’s why he likes that. It’s why he’s so good a managing The Tops. He wants things to run smooth and easy and everyone to be having a time. He’s the type to struggle with a shift in change at first but then forget why when the new song and dance start to come naturally. He plays the part just like Benny but also reminds him of what they came from. He’s his most trusted advisor and friend keeps him in focus.

This is all personal opinion and just a quick run down of it. But I hope I answered at least some of what you asked:p

#like the chairmen are so odd to me cause other than Benny they have no shit going on #like of all the asses in the game Benny isn’t even close to top on a minor scale outside what he did to the courier #like their biggest issue is The Aces needing more acts like why are they the only group that collectively just wants to run the casino #but yeah the chairmen had to change themselves the most when it came to functionality like the WGS is still food based and the Omertas can #still be blood thirsty and vile but they are like squeaky clean Vegas fun #drinking and booze but none of the other main features of their tribal culture no fighting no displays or honor having to be in the same #place constantly like it’s understandable why they struggle as they specifically complain about the whole lifestyle while the other famalie #just hate one aspect #Tommy to me keeps Benny real to himself while Swank keeps him real to others #cause you can’t tell me swank don’t mean something to him when he just listens when he’s told to go to his room #just I wish we got a chairmen quest outside of Bennys whole thing cause they get pushed to the center just to be out of focus #fallout #fallout new vegas #swank fnv #tommy fnv #tommy torini #the chairmen fnv #the chairman #benny gecko #ask #anon

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fumifooms · 4 months

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You’re the resident chilchuck expert, so I was wondering about it there’s any canon evidence that he did smoke or drink alcohol when the kids were younger. I always thought it was something he picked up due to the strain of long jobs, when the kids were already older, but you seem to think differently and I was wondering if there was anything in canon that made you think that way!

Now that you mention it I guess it’s true there’s no evidence he did. Smoking we literally only know he does at all because of one post-canon panel where he has a pipe, so no, maybe this stick-looking thing in the panel below too though, I’m not familiar with medieval blunts eh. We’ve only gotten one panel of him and his daughters interacting when he was younger so that’s not too insightful on that end, and every time we see him young and freckled it’s in a job context so again not really where we’d expect him to be drinking. The earliest proof (/heavy implication since we don’t see inside his cup I guess) is 3 years before canon when Laios hired him, where he’s at a bar, classily placed in front of all the bottles ✨

Yes alcohol is almost certainly a way through which he copes especially with stress, so if we go with the theory he started around when work got stressful, well… Chilchuck started working as a dungeon diver ~10 years ago so when he was ~19, making Mei, Fler and Puck ~6 and ~4 respectively, so from that draw the ‘stressful enough to start drinking’ line wherever. We don’t know what he did before that with any certainty, and it could be he did odd jobs, lived off mostly mutual aid and community work, or just focused on only raising the girls. Half-foots tend to be poor and I see a lot of that in Chilchuck specifically so I don’t think he could have afforded to not have some paying work though.

Alright, so then why do I think he did drink when the girls were younger?

I give a more complete rundown of the info we do have on his alcoholism & his family with panels and references + all the speculation I make from it here. But the most targeted and objective answer I can give is:

Of course there’s just very very little we know of Chilchuck’s life with his family, and I think that’s by design too. I think the details being up in the air is to allow more nuance of the topic, like, will trying to reconcile go well, is their relationship salvageable? We don’t know, because we don’t know. So the message of giving hope a chance even if it’s a long shot, that things could truly go either way, is more relevant, impactful and meta in that way. How long was he usually away for work travels into dungeons here and there? How did he act with them? All we can really do is "it’s likely that", it’s a game of which way we think it’s more implied. There’s no right and wrong answer, it’s all Marcille-like larping the events out.

My main reason for thinking he did is that his father died from overdrinking and Chilchuck is very aware of that. He mentions his death casually in the extra about their stance in alcohol and in his Adventurer’s Bible profile, etc. He acts towards the alcohol presumably the same way his father did: with abandon, uncaring for the health effects, probably happily too considering Chil says "dying doing something you love is a good way to go". Very nonchalant. So you see what I’m saying here right, wether he started early or late, his view of alcoholism is very influenced by what he saw of his father growing up, it’s something he’s always been aware of and saw in a mostly positive light, something that was inherited you could say. It’s something that was normalized to him from a young age. Regardless or where it goes from there I do think this part is pretty inarguable. If he views it positively and we know that in the present alcohol is his favorite food that he loveees, why would he have held out on it? Personally that all makes me think he started drinking very young, especially since I don’t think they limited alcohol to age as much as modern standards (and I mean, teen drinking is obviously still a thing). And here you could argue, maybe his father only started being more alcoholic later when Chilchuck moved out, or something! And to that there’s nothing I can say except I think that’s a strained theory, and that Chil might even have largely cut contact with his family after moving out (since he and siblings are listed as almost strangers and he doesn’t seem to have much emotional attachment to his parents, but also we know he rents out his place to "a relative"), but it’s true we have no evidence. "I’ve picked up the same unhealthy substance abuse as my father haha! No big deal right haha" repeated several times to me just reeks of intergenerational trauma, & the alcoholism gene as they call it. Like effortless sliding into drinking as if it’s second nature, it’s natural after all, it’s normal after all, it just makes sense, it makes you feel good and that’s what matters.

BUT from my interpretation then we have a whole other layer: Alcohol is of course not all bad always. I think he’s always liked alcohol and drank it on occasion and it brought him joy etc etc, but I think here the implication in the question is, how much effect did his drinking have on the family relations and how early? And that isn’t so much about when him drinking started but when the alcoholism started. Addiction is defined by a habitual need, that has negative effects from filling that need (physical, psychological, social, etc) and negative effects from withdrawal. If Chilchuck drinks to cope and he can’t not cope without it, that’s addiction, if it affects his relationships, if it’s a need he has, it’s addiction. Addiction can be very insidious or look very casual, and how much people around the person are affected by it is case by case. Cheerful drunks can be sooo annoying and uncomfortable though let me tell you. Drunks are drunks. And this sounds harsh, but even if people around them don’t mind drunks it’ll still have some effects here and there, living with one can be such a challenge, ily drunks good luck with everything much like Chilchuck you deserve good things 🫡　

Ok so with the dad thing and the "ok well maybe he’s always drunk casually but it grew worse with time around when he started working as a dungeon diver" precision made, the other bit of info we have that can inform this is that Chilchuck is on a harsh diet and that alcohol is a hunger suppressant. We know Chilchuck "used to be fine not eating for two days", that literally on screen to quench his hunger so it doesn’t keep him awake he goes to drink water, drinking is his instinct to hunger. Again alcohol is a hunger suppressant and if you want info on that the internet has a lot of research and anecdotes about it. He diets to be light enough to not trigger traps, so it’s something he’d have started after dungeon diving most likely. Between the stress and the diet, yes it’s extremely likely he started going harder on alcohol after he started working in dungeons. There’s arguments on wether two days without eating is less bad for half-foots than humans, but apart from smaller portions there’s nothing that indicates half-foots should get less than 3 meals a day. They need less food but that’s because their bodies are smaller: the need is proportional to the body, not smaller than others’ races, the % of need is similar even if the kg amount of food isn’t. There’s also a popular headcanon with support basis that half-foots run hot and have a faster heartrate and whatnot, and that points towards a faster metabolism rather than a slower one: a bigger need for eating rather than a smaller one. He has the same bmi, 18, as Mickbell, but perhaps because Chil is much taller he’s less intensely visibly underweight with ribs showing than Mick during the bath extra, it’s most apparent when he becomes tallman.

Alcohol is something so important and omnipresent in his character that I have trouble believing it’s something that was part of only a small fraction of his life. It’s his immediate go-to, his no-brainer solution to a good time, I’ve sort of always assumed especially after looking at his family that it’s something he discovered decently young. Like he just acts like someone who’s always had alcohol to fall back on and started young idk. Alcohol is one of his 5 keywords. Alcoholism is very ingrained into his world view and life, his "it doesn’t matter" stance his ‘work hard play hard’ mentality his idea that the world is harsh so you get relief where you can, so it just makes sense to me that it’s always been in his life, if not actively then at least looming.

So yes, in summary, my take: Alcohol was always something he wholly enjoyed to an unwise level, but it could have been considered casual until he started working into dungeons and his need for it on a regular basis intensified. Alcohol has always had positive association to him as far as we see, so when it started being a problem he didn’t see it as such. To quote him, "I drink anytime I get the opportunity to". Why always? Approval of father’s alcoholism. Why alcoholism at all? Diet + stress & coping mechanism & emotional stunting + relationship issues, and she decided she had enough after they went out for drinks.

Conclusion

Chilchuck having drunk from a young age makes sense to me and it’s the strongest narrative angle I see on the table, but that’s objectively a me opinion, yes! There’s no evidence, moreso there’s canon basis and supporting info, but it’s all very left up to interpretation. I’ve made my own interpretations of things from the scraps we see, like everyone else making Chilwife and daughters content. Wether you have a stance on the topic or prefer to leave it vague in your takes, it’ll be a matter of what you think makes most sense, or what you’d rather believe I suppose (which is literally fine)

There’s a lot of subjectivity in even just setting up causal links like you probably noticed during this and I was careful with my word choices, because we’re just extrapolating from what we see and unless Kui states it explicitly from a reliable mouth all we can do is have informed opinions on most things. This particular interpretation is influenced by other details I’ve come to form about my interpretation of Chilchuck too, the more psychological and emotional sides of him and the timeline and how his marriage even happened, unplanned pregnancy imo. Like I hope you see what I mean, this wasn’t supposed to be a speculation post just a quick simple answer but there’s sort of just no other and concise but complete way with the subjectivity nuance to put "maybe it could be yes because of this but maybe it could be no because of this" haha

Edit: Wait the phrasing on this… Interesting. "In recent years"— This does imply that if not just his alcohol consumption increasing then the diversity and quality of it did, so either he indeed did start drinking more (not necessarily meaning he didn’t drink before) assumedly because of his wife leaving, or he started drinking other/more different kinds of alcohol maybe due to the union he formed + his experience gave him greater salary than he had previously (and no wife and family to provide money for), a mix of both perhaps.

#Also he’s a lot like my own dad so to me with how he is it’s just an immediate “oh yeah he has always drunk duh of course”#So i can admit to bias. Or to specialized knowledge and authority on analysis idk in which way that tips the balance in my favor or not lol #Dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims #meta #alcoholism #This post was meant to be short :|#-slaps chilchuck’s family- this baby can fit in so much projection #I have like 3 chil alcoholism & chil family fic wips rn weeeeee #I’m the kind of alcoholic’s kid who grew up to never touch alcohol btw so like. Ik Chil could not have drunk young i just think he did #Can we appreciate the alcohol opinion & resistance chart actually. So often in media it’s either “alcohol’s a source of fun yippee” and #“alcohol is evil”. Thank you Dunmeshi for diversity of opinion thank you for nuance i rarely feel so seen #Izutsumi deserves to tell Chilchuck he stinks #AND BY THE WAY I hope you don’t feel talked down on anon. Ik you seem to have your own interpretation already & that’s good #sometimes i was adressing like. The General Public TM more than you which is why I spent time on some things like ‘think what you want’ etc #Okok i hope that covers it. Help where does the time go #It’s the sort of thing that makes Kui’s masterful storytelling by implying things here and there until it forms a big picture frustrating #for meta. Like! You can’t prove Chilchuck has been poor/grew up in an empoverished family/environment. There’s no evidence #but also you cannot tell me with a straight face that he isn’t and hasn’t like omg. But then it takes 30 pages to explain how he’s coded #Stop showing and not telling Kui smh /j #Ask #I think a lot about the trolls comic and man he was already so tense and grumpy and yelling. I do think that guy was stress relief drinking

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lyingfallow · 4 months

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i actually don’t know why i don’t see anyone loving karen because i love her. because she’s special to me

#like i could talk about her allllllll day #i don’t know why i literally never see anyone loving her because !!!! she’s so special and important #and she often gets written off as her alcoholism or physical attributes but she is so much more than that…..#she’s smart she’s cunning she can hold her own shit!!#and she’s a very competent criminal . while also having so many layers. like an onion if you will #she’s such a beautiful character it is a shaaaaaame that she’s written off for things i could care less about #it’s always either her physical characteristics or sean or her drinking habits NO ONE SEES HER BENEATH THAT #but she’s quite literally so great. she whoops ass in that bank robbery in valentine and we all know it #she’s compassionate and she’s funny!! she asks arthur how he’s doing!! sits down with him!!#that’s a different story arthur and karen are so siblings to me #but i love karen that’s the point #karen rdr2 #karen jones #rdr2

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enha-stars · 5 months

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i hate when people ask me stupid questions 😭 use your common sense bro, PLEASE.

“hey, are you using that?” as i’m using that. “are you busy?” after i’ve texted them that i am, indeed, busy. “is this yours?” as i’m holding onto it. “are you done eating?” as i’m clearly not done eating because i’m still chewing, spoon in hand, and rice on the plate.

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buggyandthebartoclub · 11 months

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I am trying desperately to focus and my husband put on a movie called dragon ball evolution and I am absolutely screaming!!!! We’re like???? 10 min in maybe???? Why is Goku some random white guy??? Why is he so old? He’s some “geecko” who gets bullied and has horny thoughts??? He’s at a party at chichis house fighting a group of bullies???

WHAT IS HAPOENING LOL???? They took goku and Kyle-fied him!!! Like what is goku but he chugged mt dew and played cod 😂😭😬 PICCILO????

IM SO SORRY DADDY BAHAHAHAHAHBFFKOENWKXJFJEEJ

I FINAIHED MY TAGS AND BULMA IS ON AND WTF!!!!! IM SO CONFUSED LOL I CANT STOP LAUGHING AND GASPING

#WHAT IS HAPPENING?????#THIS IS A FEVER DREAM #THIS IS DRAGIN BALL AU FANFIC ON CRACK!!!!#WHERE IS ROSHIS ISLAND #god I’m trying so so so hard to focus these meds SUCK!!!!#I’m going to have to chug caffeine to focus #I hate coffee and I don’t really drink soda lord help me It’s gonna be chai o clock #Oh my god what the fuck is happening in this movie it keeps getting worse!!!! BULMA is on now and they were like inches from kissing???#Goku canonically asks bulma where her balls are or like where her p3nus went I don’t remember which when he sees her naked bc he’s like wha #6???? in db ????#Why does goku have like spidey sense for danger and dragon balls lmfao I absolutely can not what the actual fuck is happening

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foxilayde · 11 months

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I saw a photo of Oscar that weekend you met him at the con (armpit sniff one) and I was once again gobsmacked at how fucking fine he looked. Like you got to be within millimeters of him looking like that.

Dude can you believe that was over a year ago already?? I can’t!

And not just within millimeters, my dear Ozzie, for rememberest thou that I did go to the autograph signing and he did hold my hand betwixt his two and it was so overwhelming for me that whilst we spoke of The Pixies Doggrel tour; I forgotteth the words “mosh pit” and “crowd surf” so I had to say: “Fight dancing” and “people sailing over my head” and he did fix me with a quizzical stare.

ok so I was looking for a reference pic to attach for anyone reading who doesn’t realize how fine he looked that day and girl tell me why WHEN U GOOGLE ‘OSCAR ISAAC COMIC CON’ MY PHOTO IS THE 16TH RESULT (particularly egregious bc the fukin title page of my blog is Atreideez Nutz 😭)

His thighs were looking particularly juicy that day.

#he was glowing. that’s the main descriptor when someone asks me what he’s like irl. glowing #irridescent #like he has been touched by Midas #I can see why conspiracy theorists believe that movie stars drink blood and stuff because there’s nothing earthly about his radiance.#for the record I don’t think ANYONE is drinking blood. he probably has a great diet high in carotenoids or somthinh #in the dead of night at 3am: I am HAUNTED by my voice saying ‘people sailing over my head’ to Oscar Isaac as he squints patiently at me

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milimeters-morales · 2 years

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Peter: you seem in a really good mood today

Miles: yeah my parents finally woke up from their month-long comas and I won’t have to keep running from CPS anymore and I can finally sleep in a bed again ^_^

Peter, about to faint: that’s great kid!

#miles not telling Peter anything part 3 #miles morales #spiderman #spider man #peter parker #his parents were in comas because they were in a huge traffic wreck and Miles has either been with Aaron (if alive) or on the streets #but i think this would be interesting because Peter grew up poor so he knows what that looks like and would probably clock that way earlier #but he wouldn’t be sure of the entire situation so like. there’s a lot of lines he shouldn’t cross- diving into Miles’s family medical+#history for his family is damn sure one of them. and he knows the shame that’s associated with asking for help ? he had it for a long+#while and still does but i gen think he’d figure it out before Miles tells him and tries to help #idk it’s been an idea i’ve been entertaining since I saw the movie #but i don’t really give much thought to it because i like his parents being there and healthy for him and idk theres just this weird feel #bc like why am i taking this perfectly fine black family and harming them so and adding a white savior???? i’m black so it like. makes me+#feel off even when i think too long about it #anyways. i need something sweet to drink

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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year

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Would it be stupid of me to request time off on the day after the Eurovision final

#there’s no consequences for requesting time off; to clarify. i’m on a zero hours contract so unless i’m sick or outright ask for holiday pay #i’m just getting a day or more of unpaid time off #but still. would it be silly and frivolous #i don’t even want it in order to drink… i just want to stay up and watch the entire thing including the voting #and not have to worry about working a 9-5 the next day (because i always seem to fucking get signed up for 9-5s while everyone else gets to #do a delayed start. what is that about)#i put in the request. it’ll most likely get accepted. like i don’t see why it wouldn’t #there’s already 3 people signed up to work that day… they don’t need me #the only reason i think they’d decline it is because i have unpaid time off the following sunday; but i will HAPPILY cancel that so i can #have the 14th off instead. i requested the 21st off for a pokemon go community day but tbh i’m not even really playing pogo anymore #since they nerfed remote raids and ya girl lives in the middle of nowhere so there goes like. my only way of getting legendaries.#anyway. that happened. i’ll just leave it and if it gets rejected i’ll bring it up with my manager #and lie or something and say i had plans on the 21st but was going to move them to the 14th and would it therefore be okay for me to have #that day off instead? i feel like that would work #honestly though idk why i worry considering one of the guys in retail has weeks of time off… i’m starting to wonder why he took the job #and if he’s ever actually planning on coming back to work. i legit haven’t seen him in a month and i’m there ~4 days a week #it’s a little bit fucking wild but anyway yeah.#nothing better come between me and the eurovision or we are going to have a problem #it’s bad enough i’m going to miss some of wimbledon. i’ve worked in education most of my adult life so this too is a new concept for me #if i can catch the opening day and the finals i’ll be happy tbh #personal

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brunetterightsactivist · 2 years

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MY BROTHER DRANK LIKE A FOURTH OF MY BOTTLE OF AMARETTO GIRL I HATE SIBLINGS I HATE MEN I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF THIS BEHAVIOR

#my liquor is coming into my fucking bedroom I am so sick of this behavior #I like to buy the fancy like mid tier/expensive stuff because I really don’t drink much which is why I didn’t notice it was gone #also pisses me off because I asked him to pick it up for me when he went to the liquor store and I specifically said get the big bottle #and he got the small bottle. and he then chugs it on me #like bro…#and I notice this as I’m cleaning the whole house because it’s filth like it’s actually filthy because he doesn’t clean #and I’ve been working a lot recently and I haven’t been able to do it #guys how do u deal like I personally am at my limit 🥲 I want him out. OUT AND AWAY FROM ME

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10518 · 3 months

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no one I know follows this afaik (thank god) but ohhhhhhhhhh god when will I stop being like this. I’m not even in a place to be in a relationship rn but I’m utterly miserable over someone who barely gives me the time of day anymore & may or may not be openly flirting with someone else in front of me even after everything & like. kms forever and ever

#if you do no you don’t <3 #but yeah no #why am I always the most into people who (maybe) don’t like me back #he *says* he does but also says he can’t be in a relationship rn & we should revisit it a couple months down the line #which is fine bc same #but he doesn’t even flirt with me anymore #and I can’t ask him to take it elsewhere if he’s found someone new bc like where else is he gonna drink this cheap #but #man this is why I don’t fuck coworkers #it just sucks bc we went from talking & flirting all the time & getting handsy on the dl to #nothing #he’s been texting me more the last few days tho & I’m sooooooo hopeful but I know it’s probably just cope #I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried over this & I feel so stupid #i feel like a dumb asshole #and a simp #i mean given the circumstances I don’t blame him but like #i wish he would just tell me if he doesn’t want to be involved at all instead of stringing me along #tho maybe he’s not and is trying to ease out & im just being delusional #it wouldn’t be the first time!!!#but again if that’s the case just fucking say so #not that I’m one to talk tho lbr this is karma #alas #should I just give up?#tho maybe he does mean what he says & is just taking a step back across the board so things don’t get confused #which would be fine with me I’d just like to know & there’s no way to ask without looking insane #but what if he’s just saying *that* to buy time #hoooooooooooo boy I need therapy lol #rocd go brrrrrrrrr #maybe it’d be easiest if I let it take over & make me stop liking him #but…

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floral-hex · 3 months

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real sad boy hours

#why? just ‘cause.#actually I’m here at this chess tournament my brother is entered in. sitting by myself in the lobby waiting for him to finish his last game #and I’m honest to goodness trying not to openly weep. I feel so stupid #hold on. give me a second bc just writing this makes #makes me start crying a little and there are people around #life is too short #I love this kid. I’ve loved watching him grow up. and I’m always ALWAYS aware that everything is passing so fast #will I be here with him next year? will he outgrow all of this?#we don’t hang out as much anymore. he’s got his teenage things going on. his own life.#I don’t know. I’m trying to appreciate these moments as much as I can #it’s hard though. I feel like shit. my head hurts. my tinnitus has been driving me crazy #it’s hard to be present when you’re in a fog #last night in the hotel room we didn’t even really hang out. he just played on his phone until he slept. which is totally his right.#I just… I just hope I’m really appreciating this time #ok now I feel stupid for kind of crying in this hotel while lots of people walk around #i don’t know what more I could even do now. it’s not like I’m allowed to go watch him play or I can do anything but wait #I suppose I have to keep asking myself ‘am I appreciating this enough?’ and if I’m not then try to work on that #life is really shitty right now but I know there have been countless times I wish I’d been more present #so I wake up tired today and drink coffee & 5 hour energy and still I’m tired and my head hurts but I’ve still gotta try. just a little.#in a couple of years he’ll be off to college and have his own life #and it won’t be him and I going to the movies or driving him to school or having dinner together #anyway… juuuuust sad. and lonely. straight up not having a good time #but also I’m glad I’m here if only to hang around my brother a little bit #IAN! stop! god I feel so stupid letting myself wallow like this. it’s not helping. it’s just making me sad. focusing on the negatives.#whatevs. I’ve got major depression. suck my butt. I’m allowed to be sad sometimes.#this weekend didn’t really go like I thought #I guess I expected to read more and shoot the shit with my brother and hang out more but it’s whatever. life happens.#my mental & physical health has been bad for a couple months now so I couldn’t have reasonably expected to suddenly be great just because 🤷🏻#oh well!#text

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anxietytriangles · 3 months

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Had to block my bfs number for the day bc he texted something mildly annoying and it sent me into a rage. I love being mentally unstable.

#🌱.txt #I was at work and he sent me a video of him out with friends and I said something like “too bad you’re at work” and it made me so angry #sent me straight into a split #like why tf would he say that why does he always go out without me and then act like he misses me #I’m at work trying not to kill myself and he’s out drinking at the lake with all our mutual friends #and with the state I’ve been in recently it’s too much for me #I have to go home to our apartment and I know he’s gonna ask me why I blocked him and I don’t need that #I hate feeling like this #like legitimately hating my boyfriend bc of something stupid like this #I hate splitting on people it makes me even more suicidal than I already am #FUCK #vent

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deityofhearts · 4 months

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JOYOUS AND LOVELY PERSON AWARD! 🌸 Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people you adore! Absolutely no pressure but, It's sweet to know someone thinks you're an absolute delight inside and out ❤️

💖💖💖 thank you anon, you’re also lovely and I hope you have a wonderful day!!

#deity dialogue #asks #anon #bless #see idk like #this is a sweet idk the point of the mean version of this ask that prev anon sent like #I get people send anon hate it’s a thing people do but like idk it’s so weird that people even feel the need to send anon hate #like yeah there’s people I don’t like online but even then I’ve never thought to myself ‘I need to send them anon hate’#because it’s mean it’s pointless and it’s a waste of everyone’s time #like id rather spend my time sending nice asks and messages to people i like ya know??#anyways love and peace on my blog tonight I hope everyone is doing okay!!#per my post earlier I am on my period and going thru it but I am now sitting under a heated blanket and drinking chocolate milk and playing #animal crossing #I have given Bob at least 30 iron wall lamps and he still won’t give me his picture #I’ve also cured him of his sickness three times #he’s been to my house #I’ve done him favors #Bob why #Bob ily I need your photo for my wall

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ramonathinks · 1 year

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nanami drabble based on this (minors do not interact)

your sweet boyfriend nanami isn’t that old. but when he hears you say, “i want you to fuck me like a whore.” he gulps and almost spits out his drink.

“you want me to what?” he’s bouncing his leg and pulling you close against his chest to hear you say it again.

“i want you to fuck me.”

“don’t i always?” he chuckles, but the glint in your eyes are still there and a deep pout on your lips. “we always—”

“we make love. we have sex. but… i want you to fuck me. i want it rough and dirty—"

“do you know what you’re asking of me? i can’t… why would i want to be rough with my delicate baby, hm?”

“you can be rough with me and still show how much you love me… i love making love with you, but tonight i want you to just let loose and not so responsible,”

he thinks it over all night before he actually makes his way to bed. swallowing hard and his palms shaking. he’s never had this to be requested of him.

but when he sees you… naked and spread for him, he’s no longer thinking like the sweet man you know.

he’s flipping you over quickly and putting a hand over your mouth as he slips inside of you, no foreplay, just thrusting. a pinch of pain and your muffled voice making his eyes go hazy, his hips with a kind of their own as he pounds inside of you.

kissing and biting up and down your neck, he whispers words he never thought to urge, “you like when daddy fucks you? when i show you how this is mine?”

pushing your back down he continues, feeling you squeezing around him. tears streaming down your face and your eyes rolling back, “thought you wanted this? now you can’t speak? talk to daddy.”

but the only talking he can hear is the squishy sounds echoing off the walls as he fills your cunt, the fast thrashing of skin slapping together. “n-nanami—ah!”

your hands are pushing him away but he’s rubbing eagerly at your clit. “just a breakkkkk!”

“nuh uh. gonna break this pussy in, show her the new me.” your legs are shaking as he does a devilish smile, thrusting inside of you again

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