#hate talking about trouble in paradise kind of shit but I told her the bad things he does to me

[selenoplexia]

logging back in just bc this is my only private diary

[angrylizardjacket]

Run to Paradise {Nikki Sixx} Part 37

37. bare so much hate for the ones we love

Summary: lola tells tommy the truth, but plays the bad guy for the sake of his relationship with heather.

Warnings: angst, discussions of manipulation and infidelity

ragtag bunch of misfits: @starlalove @xrosegoldwolfx @ksjo @lovehelpmewrite @letsxmcfrickenloseit @glitterdreamsz @freddiessmallnipples @crazysaladchopshop @dramatique-moi @calspixie @catsoo12 @sweetshutter @silvertonguedserpent @shamelessobsessions @lavenderbones22 @keepcalm-and-beyou @scarecrowmax @nicholeh7 @unknownoblivion @sighsophiia @fruitinthebottom @misscharlottelee @local-troubled-writer @talktowallpaper @redlipscrystalskies14 @kaitieskidmore1 @shugarsnaps @m-1234

{ MASTERLIST }

For all that Lola's played the villain, she's never done it quite like this, never so deliberately, and never with such good intentions. Relatively speaking. Maybe she should have told Tommy her plan beforehand, but all considered, she knew the hopeless romantic wouldn't let her fall on this grenade alone.

When she asks Tommy to visit, she insists he bring Heather too. Heather wasn't exactly thrilled, but at least she agreed to come; small miracles.

After the initial greetings and obligatory small talk, Lola asks to speak to Heather alone. Both Tommy and Heather are hesitant to agree, but Lola is imploring and pregnant and there's still the faintest guilt the pair feel regarding her OD's proximity to their wedding, so finally they oblige.

So Lola, sober and with years of second hand PR training in the back of her head, and having vastly expanding her lexicon after months of actual therapy, tells Heather about the night she slept with Tommy, less than a month before their wedding. Lola twists her words and implications with hindsight, weaving a story and a web of lies where she'd seduced Tommy intentionally by playing the victim, that she'd preyed on his good heart in her own time of weakness, and the regret Tommy had felt in the aftermath. Lola's own regret and guilt were left out of the retelling; she was not looking for forgiveness for herself, she simply wanted to cause one of the few people she truly loved as little pain as possible, and that meant she had to be the villain of this story.

"Why the hell would you tell me this? I know he loves you, okay?" Heather hisses with tears in her eyes. Lola's had this fight before; Heather even looks a bit like Sharise.

"Tommy loves everyone, that's my point," Lola fires back sharply, "and I used that against him, knowing-" Lola's voice catches for a moment and her gaze drops; Nikki's voice is an old echo in her head but she fights to ignore it, "knowing how happy you make him. I was jealous and alone and- and- and I think I missed before, when I had the whole band wrapped around my little finger. I knew it would hurt him but I didn't- at the time I was so fucked I didn't care. I'm sorry; you are well within your rights to never forgive me, but I still owe you an apology."

A long silence fills the space between them both; Lola can't look up from her hands.

"Your kid is his, isn't it?" Heather's betrayed tone is watery, crying silently across from Lola, "that's why you're telling me all this shit."

"He doesn't know," Lola murmurs faintly, "and I didn't want you to hate him for it."

"He's a fucking idiot but you're a fucking monster," Heather spits, tone so sharp Lola actually flinches. Her fidgeting fingers curling into themselves reflexively and grow still, "but it's still his kid." Heather stands sharply, hands braced on the table. After a beat, she sighs deeply and heads to the door of the side room Lola'd been graciously given for the visiting time.

At the door Lola hears her call for Tommy, and tiredly informs him that she was heading back to their hotel, and that they'd need to talk once he got back. But she kisses him with a kind of tenderness that sets Lola's anxious heart to rest for the time being, at least until Tommy closes the door behind himself and asks what Lola had said to his wife.

And Lola is honest in a way that makes Tommy look ill, stating candidly that she had told Heather about how they slept together a month before his wedding. He's in the seat across from her practically whining, asking why she would do that, and Lola takes a moment and a deep breath.

"I told her I seduced you, that I was lonely and played the victim and manipulated your good nature -"

"Lols, that night you didn't- you said -"

"I know," unlike with Heather, Lola can't break eye contact with Tommy; he's always been safe, even now, she'd never cut herself on a look he's given her, "I know what I said, and I promise I never wanted any of this, I never wanted to do something that would end up causing you any sort of pain-" Lola insists, "and if there was any other way I could have kept that between us I promise I would have -" her words catch, truth feeling like it was about to choke her, "I'm tired of being a homewrecker, Tommy, but this was the only option I could think of where- where- where-"

"Where she didn't end up hating me," Tommy's voice is so soft and rich with sudden understanding, it's enough to set off Lola's waterworks.

"Stop looking at me like that," Lola's voice trembled as she finally ducked her gaze, "you stupid motherfucker stop looking at me like you still love me!" Lola sobbed loudly now, hunching in on herself, arms wrapped around her bowed head, shaking and shuddering as she cried, "Heather makes you happy!"

"Lola," his voice is so gentle, as is the way he carefully rests his hand on one of hers, "you make me-"

"Don't you fucking dare," Lola grits her teeth and looks up; there's a heartbroken fury in her eyes, in her razor sharp words, "after everything that's happened and everything we've been through, after you followed through and married Heather, can you fucking please not keep stringing me along like this?"

Tommy let's her go. His expression falls; he stammers out half-apologies but Lola cuts him off with a deep, loud sigh.

"I'm okay with being your friend, but I'm Heather's villain and if you love her you can't keep loving me, or letting me love you like this; if things were different I'd probably try and let you go completely, but I can't," and finally Lola sits back, looking Tommy in the eyes with her cheeks tear-stained, "because this kid is yours."

"Oh."

Tommy is unreadable.

He's looking her in the eyes, but for the first time since she's known him, Lola has absolutely no idea what he's thinking or feeling in this moment.

And he leaves without another word, and one of the nurses finds Lola at the end of visitation, still in the side room, crying her eyes out.

It's a new and horrible kind of radio silence that follows, the kind where she's been allowed to do the business side of the band's management from her rehab, and Zutaut has hired a stand in manager to go with the band on their upcoming tour. With all that she knows about what they're doing, the contact with them is sporadic at best.

Nikki calls the most, but his calls are always brief. Vince's calls are always late, when Lola's awake but his own daughter isn't, and Lola will let him vent about the band and the tour like the others won't put up with. Mick will only call if he has a professional question or concern, but he always asks how she is.

And she's getting better day by day, but Tommy never calls.

Her stay at the facility last the entirety of her pregnancy at her own request, stable and self aware enough now that she wasn't to be trusted in these last few months. It means that despite the life Lola had chosen to live before, her daughter is born miraculously healthy.

Lola calls Athena, Tommy's sister, and asks if it would be appropriate, if Tommy would hate her for it, if the family would be okay with it-

She's got his eyes, just as Tommy was born with his father's before him, and Tommy's mother, Vassiliki, cries with joy the first time she holds her granddaughter, Vassilisa Carlotta Lee, named in her honour.

[sunlightmurdock]

Trouble in Paradise | 1.2 | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist

Synopsis: After the most painful break-up of his life, Rooster is stationed in Hawaii for the next six months. Alone, away from home and hurting, he finds comfort in the arms of a stranger.

Warnings: no use of y/n, age gap (rooster is in his mid-30s, reader is in her early 20s), angst angst angst angst angst, kind of all comes to a head in this one. **There is very brief mention of vomiting in the paragraph beginning with ‘you’re hungover’ and in the two following paragraphs!!** Other than that, there’s some yelling and arguing and angsttttt

…

“Jacob Michael Seresin. Did. You. Know?”

Jake should have known this was somehow going to blow back on him. He just came out here to do a job, which is what he has been doing. He’s been being a good boyfriend: going to work, doing all the overtime they’ll allow him to do, going to the gym and making sure his butt stays exactly the way that Chloe likes it, taking in the sights. Most importantly, not fucking a borderline teenager. And yet, he’s the one in trouble.

“Baby, it wasn’t my place to say anything — I’ve been trying to get him to ‘fess up!” Jake sighs softly. He’s in the gym on base, leaning on the weight rack. It’s 0600, he doesn’t have to be in Admiral Bates’ office for another hour — the gym is pretty empty at this time of day because most people are either already working or don’t have to work until much later.

Jake’s sweating out his margarita hangover.

“Jake, I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell me! We tell each other everything! — I told you about Amy’s thing.”

Jake sighs softly. It was pretty juicy. This is one of the reasons that he knows Chloe’s his soulmate, they each love to talk shit about people just as much as the other. Turns out that Amy’s boss, who Rooster had always hated and insisted was trying to fuck Amy — actually was trying to fuck Amy.

They had been late at the office one night a few weeks ago and he had stuck his tongue down her throat. She, of course, had smacked the crap out of him and reported him to HR. But it was an absolutely code red that Rooster could not know about it — he would freak out. Well, they had thought he would. Turns out, his behaviour had been much worse.

“I know we do, honey. I wanted to tell you so bad, I promise — I was just trying to make him pull his head out of his ass and tell Amy. I didn’t think it was right that she found out from someone else.”

“Well, she found out in a much worse way!” Chloe whispers. She’s sitting in the living room of Amy and Rooster’s apartment whilst Amy sons in the bathroom.

Jake scrunches his brows. When the phone call had started with an abrupt ‘Amy knows everything’ eight minutes ago, Jake had known this was going to be bad. Catastrophic, even. He’s beginning to worry exactly how bad this may be.

“What? — Rooster didn’t tell her?” Jake has to remind himself to keep his voice down. The gym is quieter than usual but this is still a Naval Base, there’s a couple other guys in there with him. Jake opts for grabbing his water bottle and heading to the locker room instead. Ab day can hold on, it’s not like his are going to disappear overnight.

“Are you kidding? No, it’s so much worse!” Chloe’s still whispering. Amy can’t hear her either way, she’s in the bathroom on the other side of the apartment and she’s crying too hard to hear anything. Chloe was with her until Amy begged her to just leave. Leaving isn’t an option, so Chloe decided to just give her some space until she cools off enough to be comforted.

“What happened?” Jake holds his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he empties his towel and uniform from his locker. He’ll shower in his room instead of here.

“Amy called him last night. He didn’t pick up the first time, so she called again. Carter’s doing way better and she wanted to let him now.”

Jake presses a hand over his mouth as he paces back to his room. He’s praying that he doesn’t run into anyone right now that could interrupt him from hearing this.

“So she calls him again. He must’ve answered the phone accidentally while it was in his pocket or somethin—“

“No!” Jake gasps. He makes eye contact with a Captain and smiles awkwardly, politely, and then continues on his way.

“Yes!” Chloe cries back, just as horrified as Jake is. “He was fucking this girl — Amy heard everything. Moaning, kissing, dirty talk — everything.”

“What kind of dirty talk?” Even Jake isn’t sure why he asks it at first.

“Jake. Really? — Why would that matter?”

“She calls him daddy, doesn’t she?” Jake is a middle-schooler at heart. Luckily, Chloe loves him in spite of this.

“Yes. Also, how old is this girl? — Amy said she sounded very… energetic.”

Jake wishes he could laugh at this. If it wasn’t one of his mutual friends being put through severe emotional duress by his other mutual friend, maybe he would have laughed. He knew Bradshaw was a dirty boy, deep down. Bradley never talks about sex with Jake. For good reason.

“Like twenty-three at an absolute maximum. Twenty-one at a minimum. I’m not sure. I did see her waving an ID around so she’s not a minor.”

“Always a bonus.” Chloe scoffs, pinching the bridge of her nose. This time, Jake does chuckle. He slots his key into the door to his room and ducks safely inside, where he can put her on loud speaker.

“Christ, Rooster. What the fuck is he thinking?” Chloe shakes her head.

“She is a good kid. She doesn’t know about Amy.” Jake explains. He doesn’t know why he feels the need to defend you — and he wouldn’t defend you if it took any kind of real effort. He wouldn’t dream of defending your name in front of Amy. But he feels the need to let Chloe know that you aren’t just some little slut who did this on purpose.

“Oh shit.” Chloe breathes out. “Wait, you’ve met her?”

Jake cringes. He pauses for a moment to think of the answer that will get him in the least amount of shit. “Yes. But only a couple of times. Rooster tried hiding her, but we ran into her and her friends in this bar. It’s not that big of an island, I’ve seen her around since.”

“Is she pretty?”

Jake smiles. “Not as pretty as you, honey.”

“Cut the shit, Seresin.” Chloe smiles back. “I want to know if this girl is hot.”

“Oh, in that case — fuck yeah. You should’ve seen what she turned up to the civillian barbecue in last night. Every guy in there was like…” Jake stops to make a face. Even though they both know that Chloe can’t see him, they both know exactly what face he’s making. “I have no idea what she’s doing with Rooster.”

“Damn. Amy’s like…”

“Oh yeah, how is she doing?” Jake remembers after he derailed the conversation with Bradley’s daddy issues.

“Not good. I only stopped by this morning to bring back her blender but it’s a good thing I did. She’s been up all night, she fucked up her hand really bad — punched through this big photo of him proposing.”

Rooster’s sitting in Admiral Bates’ office in his khakis. He hates this uniform. His flightsuit fits well, it’s comfy — it’s like wearing pyjamas to work. His khakis are too tight around his biceps, they’re uncomfortable and the crotch is too tight — the material pinches when he sits. It’s clear that he’s uncomfy. He’s been fidgeting since he sat down.

He’s in trouble. Well, not in a kid in detention way — but in the Navy equivalent to that. Rooster isn’t stupid, he knows that he hasn’t exactly been focused on his work recently. This is his return to work meeting after his period of absence last week to go to Virginia. Not to mention the “sickness” before that to take you to the hospital.

The point of this meeting is very simple. Admiral Bates just dances around the point. Takes around twenty minutes to get to it. Doesn’t want to be too harsh, to be too mean about it — he feels like a good kid like Bradley doesn’t deserve that.

Ultimately: Rooster needs to get his shit together before the end of his deployment. The next few weeks are where things get serious. There are deadlines, thresholds — Rooster needs to get serious about meeting them.

“You understand why I’m concerned about your performance, don’t you, Lieutenant Bradshaw?” Admiral Bates is a nice guy, Rooster likes him enough. He’s delicate about the way he approaches this situation. Rooster doesn’t feel insulted by the question, he understands that he hasn’t been as engaged as he should be.

“Yes, Sir.”

Bates nods. “You seem like a good kid. I want this to work out for you, but I need to you get your head out of the clouds, alright? — These next few weeks are critical and I need your attention to be in the right place. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Alright.” Bates gives a final, curt nod. “Look, I just want you to know that whatever you’ve got going on at home… I don’t mean to be harsh, but you can’t bring it to work with you. I need you kids up their with clear heads, doing what I’m telling you to do. You understand?”

“Yes, Sir. I understand.” Bradley agrees pliantly.

“That being said: if you do ever need to talk to anyone, son, I’m here.” It’s this sentence that rubs Rooster the wrong way. Bates knows that it has because Bradley finally stops fucking fidgeting. He sits still in that tiny wooden chair and stares straight ahead at the Admiral. It isn’t Bates’ fault. He just sounds too much like Maverick when he says it.

Rooster hasn’t thought about Maverick in weeks. The sudden resurgence of this thought just makes Rooster feel guilty. He knows that Mav would be disappointed to hear of the mess that Bradley has gotten himself into. He’s always disappointed when Rooster does something that Goose wouldn’t have.

Rooster wonders sometimes if he can ever be enough like his father to actually make Maverick happy.

“Thank you, Sir.” Rooster answers numbly.

“Alright. I’ll see you out there.”

Rooster already has that stupid khaki shirt unbuttoned, pulled out from his belt and shrugged off of his shoulders before he has made it back to his room. It’s against the rules to walk around base in such a state of undress, but he doesn’t care too much.

Jake’s door opens at the same time Rooster does. Jake steps out as Rooster’s about to step in. He’s wearing his flightsuit and has his phone pressed between his shoulder and ear. He’s waiting for the person on the phone to finish talking.

“Hey.” Rooster nods politely. He feels like it’s the least he can do as he examines the now yellowed bruise around Hangman’s eye socket. He knows it’s sore by the way Jake’s eye is closed just a fraction more than the one on the other side. Rooster’s eye is healing better — it’s just a faint purple now, not noticeable in most lights, and it doesn’t hurt much.

“One second, honey.” Jake murmurs affectionately into the phone, wrapping his hand around it and taking it from his ear as he turns his full attention to Rooster. He shakes his head. “Look, not to say I told you so, but I told you you should have come clean, dude.”

Rooster’s heart sinks. He knows that Chloe’s on the other end of that line. He knows that she’s probably with Amy. He knows that his whole world and each fucked up white lie that is holding it together is about to explode and take him with it.

“What?” Rooster asks. He hopes that Jake will reassure him that this isn’t what he thinks it is. He hopes that he just has a little longer. A few more days with you. Just a while more before he has to let go.

“You should call your girl.” Jake waves Rooster off. He swings the door to his room shut, lifts the phone to his ear again and sets off down the hallway without another word. Leaves Rooster to wonder which girl he means.

Rooster regrets that. He stands there in the doorway and feels sick with himself for a few moments. He truly doesn’t know which one Jake wants him to call. He decides on Amy first.

She doesn’t answer. Rooster calls her six times in a row. It’s then, whilst he’s sitting on the floor in his room, with those fucking khakis digging into his thighs in the worst way, that he notices a discrepancy in his call log.

Right before his calls to her today. After the two missed calls from her last night. After the voicemail she left him at 9:35. An eleven minute call. Like, one that he answered. An open line of communication from his phone to hers, for eleven minutes, last night. Beginning at 9:41pm.

Now, Rooster wasn’t wearing a watch last night. He doesn’t know exactly what time it was when he was hauling you into the bathroom and pressing your back to the door. But, if he had to guess, he would say that it was around that time. The two missed calls confirm his suspicions.

There’s this blinding anger that fills him.

He thinks back to telling you to forget it. His mind reels as he tries to process how this could have happened. He’s never accidentally answered a call in his life. That’s when it occurs to him that his phone wasn’t even in his pocket. It was on the counter. There’s no way he picked up on accident.

He might be a fuck up, but he isn’t an idiot. Rooster knows. He stands there at first, frozen in place, staring at his phone like if he tries hard enough then he can will that stupid number into disappearing. To will that stupid call into never happening.

Eleven whole minutes. She knows. Rooster knows that she knows. It makes him sick to think of what she heard. He knows that she’s probably a wreck right now. He knows what you did.

Rooster has always had a temper. Emotional regulation has never been his strong suit. After twenty years of different therapists, Rooster now feels confident enough to say that this stems from the fact that his earliest memories are of his mother crying so hard she blacks out. Dozens of these memories, time after time, her screaming and sobbing, stroking his hair, thinking he was too small to remember.

He wasn’t too small to remember, just too small to understand. Too small to understand that it’s not normal to let things build until they take you over completely.

He doesn’t even feel his fingers curling around his phone until he’s already lifting it. He doesn’t have the capacity to stop himself until it’s already too late and the stupid possession is hurtling towards the white brick wall of his navy issued room.

The screen splits and the phone all but crumples. Rooster doesn’t feel any better after it, but there’s a sense of release in the fact that it happened.

You’re hungover. Violently hungover. You’re actually in a very similar position to Amy. Sitting on the bathroom floor in one of Rooster’s t-shirts, sniffling and wiping your eyes. Only, yours is because you’ve been dry heaving over the toilet for thirty minutes. Her sniffling is because she just lost the love of her life in an eleven minute phone call.

“Wait, wait, wait… so — I’m sorry,” Ella and Kit are both sitting cross legged in the doorway. Close enough to offer moral support but far enough away to not have a front row experience to your tequila regret. “You actually thought it was a good idea to answer that phone?”

“I was doing what Kit said!” You sniffle, wiping the makeup residue from under your eyes.

“I never said make his fiancée listen to him fucking you.” Kit answers quickly. “But I am impressed that you did it.”

Ella kicks her ankle, shooting her a stern look.

“Rooster’s going to kill you.” Ella announces. Like you don’t already know. You groan, resting your elbow on the toilet as you take a deep breath. The warm morning air is making everything a million times worse. You might as well be in hell already, with all this guilt and heat.

“I mean, if he isn’t with her, then he’ll get over it.” Kit shrugs. You and Ella both turn to look at her together. You squint slightly at her.

“If he isn’t?”

“We all know there’s a possibility he’s still with this girl, right?” Kit answers. You do all know that. It’s still offensive that she says it. You push your leg out from where it’s tucked under you, kicking the door until it swings shut in their faces.

It’s not mature but you don’t care. They should be grateful because the moment the door’s shut, another wave of nausea hits you. Kit winces at the sound of you retching from behind the door.

It hurts to know that they both think exactly what you think. It makes you feel so ridiculous, to have not realised this all sooner.

Ella glares at Kit. She had said that finishing the bottle of tequila after the three of you came home last night was a bad idea. But you were so sad. You needed a pick-me-up and you needed your friends. They were happy to be with you for both. All three of you are paying the price now.

“I’m gonna get her some water.” Ella decides. She stands up and heads for the kitchen. Kit yawns and leans her head back against the now closed bathroom door.

It’s the moment that Ella’s no longer in view that someone starts thundering at the door hard enough to make Kit leap to her feet. Also violently hungover, she has to grab the wall to steady herself as she battles vertigo and the urge to kill whoever thinks that’s an appropriate way to knock on a door before 8am.

She groans and crosses to the end of the hall, pulling off the chain and tugging the door open, ready to silence the person on the other side.

“Where is she?”

“Throwing up.” Kit answers back with maybe a little too much attitude. Rooster’s face is serious as ever. He’s wearing shorts and a white shirt, his fist is curled around the door frame like he wants to punch a hole in it.

“Why’s she throwing up?” Rooster’s blunt with it. His face remains firm, stern. There’s a sharpness to his tone that makes Kit immediately stand up a little straighter.

One thing that Rooster has yet to learn about Kit — the reason why she is routinely fired from jobs, is that she doesn’t do well with men getting in her face. She likes to put them in their place.

“Maybe you should have worn a condom.”

Rooster immediately pales. Kit considers for a moment that that may have been too far, because he looks like he’s about to puke on her socks. His hand curls tighter around the doorframe. She can practically see him searching for the right words. And trying not to collapse at her feet.

“I’m kidding. She’s fighting half a bottle of tequila.” Kit grumbles. The colour instantly returns to his skin. But he looks even more angry now. He opens his mouth, like he’s going to yell, but then closes it again and takes a deep breath. He prepares to tell her to just go in there and get you before he loses it.

Kit steps tiredly to the side and out of his way. Rooster lingers in the doorway for a moment. Standing there on the porch. Looking in at that narrow-ass hallway and wondering if he can stand to be in such a confined space right now.

While he’s still making up his mind, the bathroom door unlocks and you pull it halfway open, leaning your top half out to check who the hell was trying to break your front door down.

It’s painful, meeting his gaze. He looks so betrayed. It all clicks into place for you all at once. Deep down, you had known that answering that call would give you the answers you needed. That it would hurt him. Because he loved her.

“What the fuck did you do?” He shocks himself. Kit flinches at the volume of Rooster’s voice. She immediately steps in front of him like that could really stop him from coming inside if he wanted to.

Your jaw drops. Might as well have hit the floor. If it had, at least it would be hanging out in the same vicinity of your heart right now. You aren’t sure if it drops because you’re surprised that this is how he chooses to tell you that he’s a lying cheater, or if it drops because of how furious he is.

You’re stuck in place, suspended in time, thinking of that day that you got caught in the rain on the beach. When he told you why he and Amy had broken up. You question the truth behind that tale now. They had broken up because of all of the arguments they had had — because of him being an asshole. Had you ever considered being less of an asshole to her? You had asked.

You wonder if he yelled at her like this. If he hurt her before like you’re hurting now. If she has felt a fraction of the sheer devastation that just hit you then you regret ever having any part in adding to her pain.

You could have pried more. Could have listened to him less. Could have saw the signs. If you had really wanted to. You could have messaged her. Asked her ‘… Hey, is this guy yours? Because I’ve been fucking him for almost half a year now.’

He was with her the entire time. Part of you knew it last night when you answered that call. Part of you knew it last week when he had to go back to Virginia. All of you, your entire being, had wanted those small parts of you to be wrong.

“Do you have any idea what you just fucking did?” Rooster’s still in the doorway. He’s yelling. You know your neighbours will be wandering out onto their porches any minute now to check what’s going on. If he carries on yelling, you know that someone will call the cops.

When he feels like this, Rooster recalls the therapy he went to when he was younger. It started off as grief counselling when he first struggled to fit in in Kindergarten. His dad was already gone and his mom didn’t understand why he was such an angry little boy at school, when he was so sweet at home. Grief counselling became anger management became grief counselling. All different kinds of therapy. Same shit.

Usually he’ll try to calm himself. Or Amy will try to calm him. Right now, he’s seething. His future is gone and you’re just staring at him like you had no part in it.

You just stand there. In Captain America pyjama shorts and the tiniest black tank top that Rooster has ever seen.

He presses a hand over his mouth and lets out a hard breath. You look really young. Standing there in your pyjamas. Ella’s lingering in the doorway to the kitchen, shocked by Rooster’s behaviour. Kit’s standing right in front of him like she could square up if she needed too. You look like such a kid.

He scoffs softly and takes a step back, shaking his head. What a fucking idiot he has been. Here he is, on the wrong side of his thirties, in the wrong state, with the wrong fucking girl.

“What the fuck is the matter with you? — Say something!” Through those sad brown eyes that you had wanted so desperately to see, you have just ruined his life. You can see that he truly believes that in the way that he’s looking at you. There’s solely blame there now.

If there’s an ounce of guilt for the part he has made you play in this, you don’t recognise it in his features. He forgets that there isn’t exactly an other woman here. He’s had both you and Amy playing that role for four months. Neither one of you is really his, he’s never really been yours. And for him, that’s somehow all your fault.

“Fuck you, you should go.” Kit steps forward and narrows her eyes at him. He doesn’t even look at her. His eyes are still on you. You don’t realise there are tears in your eyes until one spills out, heavy and warm against your cheek.

“Do you have any idea what you just fucking did?” Rooster yells past her. Does he? He doesn’t know much about what you’ve been through, much about the hurt that came before him. Primarily because you didn’t want him to know.

You aren’t the sad little girl that you used to be. You’ve worked so hard to be happy, to surround yourself with people who love you and to put yourself in a place where you are safe and loved. To learn to trust all over again. He’ll never know how hard it was for you to let yourself fall, and how low you’ve tumbled now.

He’ll probably never understand just what he has done. You stand there and wonder. Kit pushes at his chest but ultimately does little to sway him.

You lift your hand and wipe hurriedly at your cheeks, stepping out one more hesitant pace into the hall. Not hidden behind any doors or shadows. Standing as proud as you can, when there are a thousand things trying to bring you to your knees right know — that fucking tequila being one of them — and you let out a soft breath.

He won’t hear your voice crack. You swallow before you speak. You’re so much calmer than he is. You clear your throat and breathe in slowly, air filling your lungs like it’ll stand in for the confidence you’re trying to muster.

“I hope she doesn’t leave you.” Rooster’s anger dissipates for just a moment, long enough to scrunch his brows and for you to see confusion hit him.

Kit turns to look, even more confused than Rooster is. What do you mean you hope she doesn’t leave him? — He deserves to be alone for the rest of his miserable life!

You’re so calm in the way that you speak to him. For a moment, he feels like the childish one. Bradley realises how ridiculous he is. A grown man standing on your porch, bawling and screaming like a little kid. He thinks for a moment that you’re wishing him well.

You don’t have it in you to leave him with that kind of optimism. You swallow once more, and then breathe out the last words you hope that he’ll ever hear you say.

“I hope you have to look at her every day for the rest of your fucking life and know that she hates you as much as I do.”

Kit, no longer confused and now on board with your plan, swings the door shut and bolts it quickly. Just in case he decides to change his mind and kick the door down.

Rooster stands there for a moment and looks at the wrong side of the closed door. All those years of grief counselling, then anger management, then grief counselling. All of those years of scribbling in colouring books while someone tries to figure out just what’s wrong with him.

He grabs the closest thing to him. It’s a porch light that’s resting on the wooden railing around the porch. He picks it up and hurls it back down to the ground with enough force to send it shattering into a million pieces, cascading across the faded wood decking and onto the grass below.

…

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[afriendlyblackhottie]

Holiday Cheer

Summary: the best way to get over your cheating ex is to get under someone else.

Pairings: Frat boy!Steve Rogers x black!reader x frat boy!Thor Odinson

Warnings: minors dni, smut, threesome (mmf), cheating, unprotected sex

(A/N: I made it 😣 the smut was cut a little short but I finished and that’s all that matters lol Merry Christmas 🎄 everyone! Not edited at all lol. Like follow comment with a reblog 💜 ✌🏾)

»»———————-♡-———————««

It wasn’t like you’d expected this to happen.

All Natasha knew was that you’d caught your boyfriend cheating and needed a night out. You’d been hoping he’d gotten the hint after the millionth missed call that you were done but you didn’t even feel like talking to Peter so instead you’d been avoiding the shit out of him.

Of course tonight of all nights when you’re out looking like one of Santa’s hoe, hoe, hoes. He obviously couldn’t resist saying anything but hell it wasn’t any of his business now.

Then it was like all these months you’d spent questioning him only for him to reply that nothing was going on. All these fights calling you paranoid she was the ‘girl you weren’t supposed to worry about.’

And even after you caught them you got that whole, ‘Baby, it wasn’t what it looked like.’ As if you literally didn’t just see it. Did they think you were dumb.

When they first started spending all this time together on some project, you really tried to not think too much of it. He’d never given you a reason to not trust him. Then it was like they got the rest of their team and it wasn’t even like they were alone so you really tried to not think about it.

Then you walked in on them in the lab. Gamora riding him for her goddamn life and in a way that told you that this definitely hadn’t been the first time.

And what pissed you off even more was that he tried to say it’s because you wouldn’t let him fuck you in the ass and she did. You should have thrown a glass at his head he’d pissed you off so bad.

So that happens and you’re moping. Afraid to even come out your dorm because knowing him, he was definitely going to try and get you to talk to him. Which was not happening.

But it also wasn’t leaving you in the best spirits. Which was kind of a damper for the holidays and break was right about to start, exams were done, and there was a party tonight that Nat was dragging you to whether you liked it or not.

She was the first unofficial female member of a frat. The second being Wanda. “I’m there so much I think they’ll let me in on hazing next year.” She laughed.

And while you get why she’d want to hook up with some of the guys there, she hadn’t. While you thought she was crazy for not taking advantage of it, she had just become really good friends with the guys and that was it.

Probably why Peter hated that you hung out with her. He hated the guys there. Had this weird beef with one of them which reeked of jealousy any of the times they crossed paths.

Funny because earlier that day you kind of used it to your advantage. See Natasha wouldn’t have invited you if it wasn’t for you ducking behind Thor of all people after bolting out of the campus coffeeshop. Figured that Peter wasn’t exactly in the mood to not only be on the lookout for you while also getting into it with him.

“Can I ask why you’re using me for shelter?” Thor wondered, tilting his head back so he could get a glance at you.

“Ex boyfriend,” you answered.

“Well, glad I could be of assistance. He chuckled before turning to face you. Then his eyebrows furrowed. “Wait, aren’t you Quail’s girl?”

This time it was your turn to let out a small laugh. “Um, it’s Quill,” you corrected him.

“That’s what I said,” he replied with a shrug and a half smile. Oh right. Frenemies.

“Trouble in paradise?”

“More like a disaster.”

“Hey, Thor,” Steve greeted. “Y/N.”

Ah shit. This was awkward. Quill also wasn’t too fond of Steve. Mostly because neither of you were sure if Steve was flirting you or not. You said he wasn’t. You weren’t his type. Then Quill would say, “So what. No one thought you’d be my type and now look at us.”

Then you’d go, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing!” He’d say. “I’m just saying people just didn’t expect us to get together and now look.” Then like the smart boy he is he couldn’t let that be that, so he added, “I’m sure I had plenty of girls that would have killed to be where you are but I chose you.”

It pissed you off back then. Then it was like now when you thought about it, it made your skin crawl. Found out he had a rich dad that got him into this place and now he was just soooo much better than his. With all the fucking audacity.

Then the two of you would argue. Then someone you’d become the asshole. It was like now that you were done you could finally stop lying to yourself.

And yet with Steve so close to you, you were anticipating the arguement. Oh Rogers said hi so now it’s time for Peter to cry about it.

At least with Thor you knew there was a history. As petty as it seemed to be. While you’d talked here and there because you hung out with mutual friends you weren’t about to actually hang out with a guy your boyfriend hated. Even if he didn’t seem that bad.

Now you didn’t care. Why would you. The two of them had never been anything but nice to you. You’d let yourself get so wrapped up in all his stupid enemies and helping him fight his battles and it was like what the hell was even the point.

“Hi, Steve,” you’d said.

“Steve, Y/N was just telling me that her and Quail broke up.”

Then you giggled. “It’s Quill.”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it,” he replied with a shrug and a smirk.

“Oh shit, what happened?” Steve asked with a raised eyebrow.

You shrugged. “Oh ya know how it is. Sometimes you just… grow apart.”

You don’t know what it is but something felt so embarrassing about the fact that he cheated on you. That out of all the jealousy and accusations of cheating and flirting and this and that and it ended up being him!

And yet you were embarrassed. So you lied.

“I mean it happens. I get it. Me and my girlfriend just broke up too,” Thor said. “Our schedules just don’t mix.”

“Are you doing okay?” Steve asked.

“Trying to,” you replied. “Just feeling bummed. He was supposed to come home with me for Christmas and instead I have to tell everyone that I can barely even look at him.” You chuckled.

“You know what. It sounds like you need some fun. I’m sure Natasha’s told you by now,” Steve said, “but the frat house is having our Christmas party and I think you should come.”

“You should it’ll be fun,” Thor chimed in. “It’s our hoe hoe hoe house party.”

You laughed. “Wow. Love that name.”

“Tony picked it,” Steve clarified.

“Well it sounds fun at least,” you said.

“So you’ll come?” Thor asked.

It was okay. You weren’t with Peter anymore. You could hang out with whoever you wanted to. “Sure. Sounds great.”

And that’s how you ended up walking in with your stomach in knots. Maybe you were feeling a little triumphant since you’d successfully ducked and dodged Peter earlier. And Natasha helping you pick out a last minute hoe, hoe, hoe costume. A tight velvety red dress with fluffy white trim on the neckline and hem. The kind of outfit that said the best way to get over your ex is to get under someone else.

“Hey, Y/N,” Steve greeted you pulling you into a hug. “You made it.”

His hands ran up and down your back making you giggle. “Stop that tickles!”

“Does it?” He asked pulling away to look at you. A smirk covering his face. “You look nice,” he said.

“Yeah and where’s your hoe, hoe, hoe outfit?” You asked with a raised eyebrow.

Eyeing him up and down in that blue button up that really, really brought out his eyes. It wasn’t like you never noticed how hot he was before. It was just when Peter was there and jealous as fuck, the last thing you wanted to think about was how good Steve Rogers looked. Now though you didn’t have to give a shit.

“It got lost in the mail,” he replied with a laugh. “You look great though.”

“Y/N!” Thor said coming up to the both of you. That’s when Steve finally let go of you so Thor could take over in giving you a hug. At least he was wearing a red dinner jacket. His long blond hair in a ponytail. Stands falling into his face still. “Glad you could make it.”

“Yeah me, too.”

“Can I get you a drink?” Thor asked.

“Sure,” you replied.

So far you were having a lot of fun. You weren’t really the partying type usually but you just wanted to have fun. And Steve and Thor clearly wanted you to have fun.

By now Natasha had gotten busy talking to some girl from one of her classes. Had stopped checking up on you when she saw Steve and Thor were taking care of you. If there was anyone she trusted to make sure her best friend was taken care of it was them.

You stuck your tongue out on Snapchat as Steve hugged up on you from behind. Thor kissing your cheek. You captioned it as hoe hoe hoe merry Christmas.

You get it your ex hated one of them and was obscenely jealous of both men but you weren’t trying to start anything. If anything you were just happy to have both of them there to take care of you.

And hanging out with them was a lot of fun. It wasn’t even that you guys were getting drunk or anything because Steve being the responsible guy he is was making you drink enough water to go with it. Thor being the one to make sure you ended up with a nice buzz.

And you had a good time dancing with them. To be honest grinding against them more than you’d expected to. But it was kind of hard not to enjoy the attention.

Also maybe Peter was right about Steve. Sure he was horribly horribly wrong about you and that chemistry professor, but Steve was at least acting like he was into you.

Whispering in your ear. Making sure you really felt him. All while telling you everything a girl like you would wanna hear after everything that had been going on lately. Especially from a guy like Steve Rogers.

Telling you how good you looked. How dumb could Quill have been to lose a girl like you. Maybe he was just being nice, who knows but it still felt good to hear.

Then there was Thor who was definitely trying to flirt. Also wondering why Quail as he called him would fuck things up with you. It was safe to say you were having the best time.

It was seriously just what you needed. But of course that high couldn’t last for long.

Thor was getting another beer as Steve talked into your ear as you sat on the counter in the kitchen. Hand getting really dangerously close to your thigh.

When Thor came back he handed Steve a drink and you a totally different one. “What! I wanna try that one!” You protested making grabby hands at his cup.

“Ah, ah, ah this is special. Can only get it back home,” he said. “I just don’t think you’re ready for something so strong.”

“Oh yeah what’s so special about it?” You asked narrowing your eyes.

“I just don’t think you can handle it, Sweetheart.”

Then you pouted. “I’ll be the judge of that. Can I try yours, Steve?”

Steve chuckled. “Thor’s right, Babe.”

Then your jaw dropped. “What. That’s so sexist! I wanna try.”

“If it makes you feel better. It isn’t just you. I won’t even let Tony try it.” Thor laughed.

“Cuz Tony’s a pussy,” you pouted. “Come on.”

“I’m gonna tell him you said that,” Steve laughed.

“Fine but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Thor teased.

Steve handed you his cup watching as you brought it to your lips. As soon as the first drop hit your tongue you pulled away to go, “ugh! How do you guys drink that!”

The both of them laughed. “We told you, Love,” Thor said wrapping his arms around you. “Here.” He handed you the cup of water Steve was making you drink for before.

And between all the water and shit you seriously had to use the restroom. You kissed Steve’s cheek as you excused yourself. Going to join the line outside of the bathroom door. Which of course was taking forever with how long it was. Ugh.

“Y/N!” You could hear a voice calling over the music so you turned around seeing your ex making his way over to you. “We’re leaving,” he said snatching your arm.

“What the fuck, Peter, let go of me!”

“What the hell are you doing with Steve and Thor!” He spat out the latter name like there was actual disgust on his tongue.

“That’s none of your business anymore.”

“I get it you’re avoiding me but hanging out with them. That’s not cool, Y/N. You know how I feel about them!”

“How do you even know I’m with them?” You asked. “I came with Natasha.”

“Because I saw it on your Snapchat!”

“You don’t even have a snap,” you said with a raised eyebrow.

That’s when he groaned and rolled his eyes. “I mean… look-,”

“What did you make one just to spy on me?” You asked rolling your eyes.

“Maybe,” was all he replied with. “Irregardless-,”

“That’s not a word.” You rolled your eyes.

“Irregardless, you know how I feel about you hanging around with them!”

“And I’m not your girlfriend anymore so I don’t care! You lost the right to tell me what to do after I caught you with Gamora on top of you!”

“I told you it wasn’t what it looked like!”

“And what she just fall into your fucking lap, naked and you just so happened to also be naked? How dumb do you think I am, Peter!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Steve said coming up to the two of you. “Peter, man, you should go.”

Peter rolled his eyes at him. “And here comes the golden boy ready to save a damsel in distress. Don’t you have an old lady to help across the street?”

“Isn’t there some eighties soundtrack you can go center your personality around,” Thor said with a laugh getting beside you, too.

“Thor, you have all people need to stay out of this,” Peter said. “And stay away from her.”

“On whose order?” Thor challenged with a raised eyebrow.

“Mine. She’s my girl.”

“I’m not your anything,” you said.

“Quail, you need to leave,” Thor said. “Don’t worry we’re taking great care of her.”

“Yeah they’re taking great care of me,” you said with a shrug.

Peter rolled his eyes. “Bullshit. They’re just doing this to get back at me.”

Steve laughed. “Peter, I do not think of you. This isn’t some fucking plot to take you down. I like Y/N. It’s not our fault you screwed up. Either you leave or we will remove you.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Try me.”

“Fuck this I’m going to the bathroom,” you said.

“Here, you can use the one in my room,” Steve said.

“Over my dead body,” Peter said.

“That can be arranged,” Thor challenged him with a shrug.

“Peter, just go,” you said. “We’re done. You can’t tell me what to do anymore.”

Steve showed you to his room and the bathroom there. You hurried to use the restroom and tried to fix yourself up a little. Dealing with him had left you a little flustered and you were trying to have fun. You didn’t wanna feel like shit.

You stumbled out to see Steve laying back on his bed. Phone in his hand. He peeked over at you to smile softly. “Hey. You good?“ He asked.

“Uh huh,” you replied.

“You sure? I know dealing with him can’t be easy for you.”

“I mean… yeah…” you said with a heavy sigh.

“Wanna talk about it?” He asked.

You shrugged. “What’s there to talk about?”

“Like why didn’t you tell us he cheated on you?” He asked.

“Because I dunno.” You sighed and hated that you felt yourself tearing up. “Um, yeah… I guess it felt like… I dunno like pathetic.” You chuckled. “God that’s… so stupid.”

Steve shook his head. “Not at all,” he said patting the spot at his side. “Come on. You can talk to me about it.”

“Where’s Thor?” You asked as you went to do as he said for you to.

“Taking care of Peter, getting us drinks, probably getting stopped by people,” he said. “But enough about that. I wanna hear all about you okay.”

“No you don’t,” you said with a chuckle.

“Oh but I do.” He leaned up so he was closer to you. “You know my last girlfriend cheated on me. Broke my fucking heart.”

Honestly the idea of Steve Rogers getting cheated on sounded so wrong. Like who the hell would even dare. “That’s crazy,” you said.

“Yeah she was from England and-,”

“Is this one of those my girlfriend from England you wouldn’t know her stories?” You asked him.

He laughed and shook his head. “No. Let me finish. So I met her when I was in the military-,”

“You were in the military!” Your eyebrows shot up.

“Uh huh and so was she and we met on a deployment. Things were good for a long time and honestly… I really thought she was my soulmate.”

You stuck out your bottom lip and frowned. “What happened?”

“We were apart for a few months at different bases and I noticed how weird she was acting. Then I went to visit to surprise her.” This time he let out the deep sigh. “Oh god. You’re right this isn’t easy…”

“No it’s okay,” you said. “I’m all ears.”

“Well, I kind of tried to brush things off ya know. Then I found messages between her and this guy.” He let out a sarcastic chuckle. “I was fucking crushed.”

“Shit I’m sorry, Steve,” you said leaning over to hug him. 

“It’s okay. I finally moved on. Besides I kinda had sex with her cousin after so I got my revenge.”

Your jaw dropped as you smacked his stomach. “Steve Rogers! I was not expecting that from you.”

He laughed. “I know, I know, but it’s not like I meant for it to happen. It just kinda did and… I dunno.” Steve sighed and nudged you. “So if you can top that level of shitty than its okay to tell me. I’m not judging.”

You sighed. “Okay fine… so I started noticing how weird he was acting and he never wanted to have sex anymore so I… snooped through his phone.”

“Shit,” he said.

“Yeah.” You sighed and sniffled. “Um… I found all these texts between him and Gamora. Said cuz I wouldn’t do anal with him.”

“What the fuck…” he said with a frown. Pulling you into his arms as soon as he saw the tears starting to sprinkle from your eyes.

“I’m okay,” you replied not being able to stop yourself from hugging him. You needed that. The comfort. Leaning into him.

Steve started rubbing your back before kissing your cheek. “I’m here okay. Always.”

You sniffled and nodded. “Thanks.” Then you pulled away so he could wipe the tears that had fallen.

“Besides any man that cheated on you is an idiot.”

You chuckled. “You think so?”

“Of course,” he replied. “Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

By now you were sitting so close. Arms around each other. Could feel his breath on your face.

Chest feeling like it might thump out of your chest. “Think so?”

He glanced down at your lips and then back up to your eyes. Finally starting to move in and just waiting for that first kiss.

“Crisis averted!” Thor announced as he came through the door. “Quail is officially gone and i found a bottle of tequila!”

As quickly as the moment started, it was over. Steve clearing his throat and laying back down. All while Thor chatted their ears off and started pouring shots.

This was going to be a long ass night

At some point you’d ended up squished between the two men. Giggling as they told you stories of whatever. From what you gathered, Thor had really been there for Steve during his breakup and now they wanted to be there for you. It was kind of nice having them on your side.

You posted another selfie with them giggling and shit. Honestly you could see yourself really hanging out with them like this. You understood why Natasha hung around them so much.

Still you couldn’t believe you almost kissed Steve and just didn’t. Or that you’d told Peter he had nothing to worry about in regards to him. In your defense though at least you waited until things were over before getting to this point.

“Alright how about we play a drinking game,” Thor suggested.

“What do you have in mind?” You asked.

“Never have I ever?” He said with a shrug.

“I’m down,” you replied looking over at Steve who shrugged.

“Great okay. I’ll go first,” Thor said. “Never have I ever had sex with a Quail!”

Your jaw dropped as Steve started laughing. “His name is Quill!”

“That’s what I said!” He replied. “Better drink up, Love,” he baby talked at you leaning forward to pinch your cheek.

You rolled your eyes before taking the shot. Crinkling your nose from the burn and coughing. “Ugh!”

“Aw you’re so cute when you’re choking,” Thor said baby talking at you again. “Alright. Your turn.”

You shook your head at him before trying to think of something to say. “Never have I ever done anal,” you said with a shrug.

“What? Quail didn’t ever… try?” Thor asked.

“I mean he tried but I didn’t wanna.”

“Why not?” Steve asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Because I dunno I just… didn’t want to,” you replied. “Maybe one day but I’m glad it didn’t happen with him.”

“Exactly he didn’t deserve your sweet ass,” Thor said leaning into kiss your cheek.

“Well I’ve definitely tried anal,” Steve said after finally taking his shot.

“Giving and receiving,” Thor said with a smirk. “I mean we’ve all been th- well maybe not Y/N, but it’s never to late.”

You laughed before tilting your head back. “I’ll just take your word for it.”

“Or maybe Steve and I can introduce you to the wonderful world of anal sex,” he teased.

Once again you crinkled your nose. “Steve, would never.”

“Steve would never what?” Steve asked.

“Do anal on me.”

“Oh, well then Steve pleads the fifth,” he replied with a smirk.

Suddenly your cheeks felt hot. Biting your lip and sighing. What the hell were you supposed to even say to this. Or any of this.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’d never make you do anything you didn’t wanna do,” Steve said. “I hate that he got into your head.”

“What?” Thor raised his eyebrow, tilting his head to the side like a puppy. “Explain.”

“I lied about why Quail- dammit Thor!”

He let out a snort before busting out into laughter. “What! That’s his name!”

Steve couldn’t help himself as he laughed along. Which in turn meant you started. Ugh. They were so annoying. But they were really cheering you up. “Besides, fuck him. He didn’t deserve you.”

“Well what happened?”

You sighed and groaned. “So… I know I said Peter and I broke up because we broke apart but it was really because he cheated on me,” you admitted.

Thor looked honestly taken aback. “Oh… what the-,” then he scoffed. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I dunno. It felt embarrassing I guess.”

Thor sighed. “You should have told me.”

“No it’s okay. I’m fine.”

He tsk’d. “Doesn’t matter. I would have fucked him up right there.” He snarled. “How the hell could he- do you know with who?”

“Gamora,” you replied.

Thor frowned and sighed. “Ah shit…” he clenched his jaw. “He’s so fucking lucky I didn’t find out until after. He better leave you the fuck alone.”

“I hope so.”

This sighed before grabbing you to pull you on his lap. “I’m sorry Quail hurt you, Love.”

“I’ll be fine,” you said leaning into his chest. Feeling Steve eye’s on you as his friend held you. “Anyway, Steve, it’s your turn.”

His face turned into a cringe. “Ohh I actually can’t think of anything I haven’t done. I mean maybe if we’d played this a year ago but right now I feel like there’s not much I haven’t done.”

“Me either,” Thor said with a shrug.

You rolled your eyes. “Of course. You’re both so adventurous.”

Steve laughed. “I mean you could say that.”

“So unfair.” You gasped. “Okay, fine. Steve, truth or dare.”

Thor laughed. “Good idea.”

“Dare.

“I dare you to do push ups with me on your back.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “That’s easy. Come on give me something good.”

“Okay ummmm I dare you to… keep your shirt off for the rest of the game,” you said.

“Wasn’t expecting you to be the one telling anyone to get naked so soon,” Thor teased.

Your face heated up as Steve got to unbuttoning his shirt. “I couldn’t think of acting else!”

“Sure, sure. Or you just want to see me naked,” Steve said with a wink as his naked chest came into view.

“Oh whatever,” you said with a laugh.

Not that he was wrong.

Playing truth or dare was fun. Thor was quickly rid of his shirt too. And you had to describe your first time. Of course when Thor realized it was with Quill he was over it. Saying what a shame it is that you’d never been truly satisfied.

“I mean it’s not like the sex was bad-,”

“Because you have nothing to compare it to.” He shrugged. “That’s okay. There’s still time.”

“Have you even kissed anyone else?” Steve asked.

“I mean… yeah but it’s been forever.”

He frowned. “You poor thing.”

“Maybe one of us can help you out?” Thor suggested.

“Um, what do you have in mind?”

“Nothing big just… haven’t you ever wondered how it might feel to kiss another man?” He asked.

“I mean… I dunno… maybe.” You bit your lip as you wondered where he was taking this.

“I mean I’m available,” he said with a wink.

“Mmm I dunno why would she choose you when I’m right here,” Steve tease before leaning over to tickle your side.

“You wish,” Thor replied. “How about it, Love. Which one of us would you kiss?”

Your face felt hot at their question. “Um, I mean I wouldn’t wanna… choose.”

“Fine. Truth or dare?“ Steve quickly said.

You laughed and narrowed your eyes. “Dare?”

“I dare you to kiss me,” he said.

“What!” Thor groaned. “Oh whatever.”

Steve laughed. “Come on. A dares a dare.”

Meanwhile you giggled but still didn’t move. That’s when Steve pulled you in. Could feel his breath on your lips.

At first it was pretty chaste. Just an innocent little thing. And yet it felt so good to have his lips on yours. Hands on your lower back.

“Oh you call that a kiss,” Thor scoffed when the two of you pulled away.

“Fine, let’s see you do better.”

Before you could react he was giving you one too. Except this one was a lot more sensual and hungry. Adding tongue the more you got into it.

Then Steve took another turn. This time showing you how he really kissed. Not holding back.

“Alright. Whose better?” He asked putting his forehead against yours.

Luckily before you could think to answer as if you could even choose your phone went off. Vibrating underneath you. Making you jump. “Shit.”

“Who calls someone on Snapchat?” Steve asked irritated about the interruption.

As you answered Peter’s face came into view. “Are you kidding me! You’re still with them?”

Well at least you knew which account was him now.

“Peter, it’s none of your business!”

“Why? So you can run around looking like a slut!”

Before you could respond, Thor snatched your phone away. “You will not speak to her that way,” he said. “You’re fucking lucky she didn’t tell me about what the hell you did until after I threw you out.��

Steve pulled you to him. Rubbing your back. “I hate the way he fucking talks to you.”

“Thanks, Guys,” you said after Thor hung up on him.

“What a fucking asshole,” Thor said grabbing onto you. Feeling like you were almost being babied by them. “He’s lucky he’s not here or else I’d fuck him up.”

“Hell he’s lucky we’re more worried about you.”

“You okay?” Thor asked rubbing your back.

“Yeah I’m good. I just… want him to leave me alone.”

“And he’s still texting you,” he said picking up your phone again.

You rolled your eyes. “Should give him a show.”

Steve chuckled. “Maybe we should.”

Thor laughed as he picked up the phone holding it up to the three of you. Then you laughed as he kissed your cheek while taking a picture.

His laughter only grew when he sent it. Seeing Peter sending all these angry messages back. Then Steve sent one with him kissing your lips. Thor gasping and saying wait it’s his turn before doing the same thing.

Then it became the two of them going back and forth. Sending pics at first and then videos of them kissing you. Making each one worse and worse and worse for Peter. Thor joking that he’d kiss your other lips as Steve took care of the ones on your face.

“Oh my ugh,” you gasped as he did just that. Pushing up your dress so that you were exposed before kissing on your thighs. “Fuck, Thor.”

“What a tasty little pussy,” he said as he licked at. Your panties were still on but he finally pulled them to the side so he’d have access.

It was all happening so fast you were having trouble wrapping your mind around it. How he’d grabbed your phone to show Peter just how a real man should treat a lady. That they were about to take good care of you.

Switching places so Steve could have his turn. Then Thor removing your dress. Maybe it was because you honestly couldn’t even believe any of this was happening.

“Fuck,” you cried as Steve pushed a finger into you.

“You know how long I’ve been waiting to touch your pussy,” he groaned. “Just as pretty as I thought it would be.”

“Look at how wet your girl is for us, Quail,” Thor said showing exactly what Steve was doing to you. Then panning the camera up to show how you were moaning for him. “Can’t believe you’d fuck this up. She tastes so good.”

“Gonna let us fuck you, Baby?” Steve asked.

“Uh huh,” you whimpered. How else were you supposed to respond when he was finger fucking you.

“Show him how we make you feel good,” Thor added on.

Thor pushed into you first. Stretching you over his length. Your eyes rolling to the back of your head as his hips snapped into you.

“Fuck,” you whimpered. “Fuck me. Yes.”

Honestly sex with Peter didn’t feel like this. Not like it wasn’t good but it wasn’t as rough. He didn’t get as deep inside of you. Didn’t make you feel like he’d push you passed your limits.

“She’s so fucking tight, Steve,” he grunted. “Goddamn.”

“Tell Peter how good it feels,” Steve said.

“It feels… ugh! Yes!”

“Am I better than him?” Thor asked.

“Yes,” you cried. “So much better.”

You wondered what you looked like right now. Could only imagine just how depraved you looked as he fucked you. It just felt so damn good.

“Look at your girlfriend being a fucking slut for us,” Thor groaned as you screamed out with the way he hit your spot.

Oh this was about to be a long night.

Between the two of them you could not remember how many times you came. Steve not wasting any time taking his turn with you.

“Been wanting to do this since I met you,” he said into your ear. “You gonna be our slut after this, huh?”

“Uh huh,” you whimpered.

Thor kissed your lips. “Gonna let us use your pussy anytime we want?”

If they kept doing you like this. Fuck yeah.

At some point your phone had been set on the nightstand. None of you thinking about Peter anymore. It was over between the two of you. He’d fucked it all up and you’d put the final nail in the coffin.

Natasha had been so right. The best way to get over a man is to get under another one. And lucky for you, you had two.

[wish-that-i-was-buckys-girl]

Hey! I just discovered your blog and I was wondering if you'd be okay doing a Lance tucker x reader where they get in an argument but it has a fluffy ending where they're closer than they were before? Maybe they confess their feelings to each other? I totally understand if you're not able or comfortable to write this.

Merry Christmas! 🎄🤶🎅🌲🎁

Authors Notes: Hey! I hope this is something similar to what you were looking for. They’re expressing their feelings in some way, just maybe not the way you’d think. I hope you like it!

Lance Tucker x Reader

Warnings: Arguing, swearing, insinuation of possible cheating, and some downright shitty friends.

Word Count: 3K

Trouble in Paradise

(Not my gif)

_______________________________________________

It was New Year’s Eve. The year had been stressful to say the least but even worse, Lance’s buddies were coming over for a party. It’s not that you didn’t like his friends. Well, it was that. You didn’t like them. Ever since you and Lance got together three years ago, they have done nothing but try to convince him to date hotter women. “Date” being a loose term.

Overheard conversations during football games and dart/pool games and the basement went something like this.

“Oh, come on Lance you saw the chicks you used to pull. They were smokin’. Why don’t you just live again? Or better yet, you don’t even have to break up with her! Just, you know, tell her you got competitions and when she doesn’t suspect it, book a couple hotel rooms. What’s the harm?”

“Lance, buddy, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you don’t exactly have a trophy wife. Aren’t you the one with the gold medal? Shouldn’t you be looking for a gold medal wife instead of a bronze one?”

“I like her Lance, I really do, but remember that Victoria’s Secret model you hooked up with regularly like 5 years ago? What was her name... uh... Serenity! Yeah, why don’t you give her a call. You guys seemed to really click.”

The worst part of it all was they never really got to know you. They brushed past you while you cooked some food for them in the kitchen. You and Lance took turns cooking but somehow you always found that you were cooking when his friends were coming over. You had never really put much thought into it, until tonight.

“Honey! I’m home from the gym!”

You were making taco dip, guacamole, homemade Mac and cheese, and Buffalo chicken dip for the big party. You ordered pizzas, subs, and other sides to top it off. You never knew how much 8 men could eat, until you started cooking for 8 men.

Lance came up behind you and gave you a sweet kiss on the cheek as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “How’s my pretty girl doing?”

“Fine, I guess.”

You both knew you weren’t fine.

Lance sighs loudly. “Angel, what is wrong? You know I just want to help you.”

“We can talk about it later. Right now, I just want to get in my cooking zone and not think about anything.”

Lance puts his hands on his hips and stares at you authoritatively.

“Well, I’m gonna go quick grab a shower and come back down to help you finish cooking before the boys come.”

“Sounds good” you said with a half-smile. You were dreading tonight.

_______________________________________________

True to his word, Lance came down and helped you finish cooking the rest of the food. It remained quiet for most of the time you spent together. Lance could feel the tension in the air but didn’t want to ask again if anything was wrong before the party. It was New Year’s Eve, he was supposed to be celebrating with his friends, not trying to start a fight with you.

You were infuriated Lance didn’t bother to ask you why you were so upset. You always felt second to his friends, why is that? The first year you were dating it wasn’t like that. You were the center of attention in all regards, you didn’t want to be, but he treated you like the only girl in the world. Now?

“Hey babe I’m going out with the guys I’ll see you tomorrow.” You knew full well he would drunkenly slip under the covers at 3AM. Why was he out so late? What was he doing?

“Sweetheart the guys are coming over to play pool do you mind ordering us some pizzas?” Why couldn’t he do it himself?

You really did not mind that Lance had friends. You encouraged him to hang out with them even though they said horrible things about you, but enough was enough. There’s hanging out with your friends, and there’s being with your friends 24/7, leaving your girlfriend to stay home and watch movies by herself.

After you finished cooking you went upstairs to the bedroom to watch a movie. By yourself.

Surprise, surprise.

You heard the front door open for the first time tonight. You wondered if any of the guys would bring over their girlfriends or “hot dates.” You didn’t know if that would relieve your stress or infuriate you even more. If they did bring someone, they wouldn’t be so focused on it being a “boys’ night.” However, if they did bring someone, why couldn’t you come downstairs to hang out with them?

You heard a slap of hands exchanged and what you assumed to be a half hug after it.

The men continued to pile in around 8PM. Some of them brought a date, but others didn’t. However, you noticed one of the guys brought two girls. Why would he do that?

You decided to put on some nice clothes to go downstairs. Other men were bringing their dates, and this was your house. You deserve to celebrate too.

You worked your way down to the basement, wanting to spend time with your definitely above average looking boyfriend. You were so happy to call him yours, even though he frustrated you to no end sometimes. From what you overhear, he never sticks up for you.

You strutted over him and placed your hand on his back gently. He quickly turns around, angry almost and begins to say something “I told you I don’t want.... oh, hi baby.”

You looked at him confused. What was that about?

“Hi... what’s uh, what’s going on?”

“Oh nothin’. Just Evan and I got into it earlier about something and I thought he was coming to bother me about it again. But then I turn around to see your pretty face and that doesn’t even matter.”

He brings you in for a tight hug and rests his chin on your head. You loved him. You loved him so much.

Out of nowhere Evan comes up behind you, noticeably drunk, the scent of liquor oozing off of him. There’s a girl attached to his right arm. She’s tall, slender, and blonde. You thought she was too attractive for Evan, until he started to speak.

“Lance, meet my girl Lindsay here. She’s really interested in you and wants to talk to you about your gold medal.”

You can’t say this never happened. You were used to women throwing themselves at Lance. You were always so proud to call Lance yours, but other women wanted that opportunity as well. It got so bad to the point where women would send random lewd photos to his work email to gain his attention. It never worked thank god. Every time you saw pictures like that you got suspicious, but every message read “don’t you want to see what you’re missing out on?” or something to that degree. Lance was always patient and kind with you about it, knowing you were easily frustrated and cautious of him because you knew what he was like before. However, you knew he wouldn’t cheat on you, and he always has an explanation if he thought you were ever worried.

“Excuse me?” You said looking at Evan.

“Come on Y/N. Let the man have a little fun.” Evan retorted.

“This isn’t letting him have ‘a little fun.’ Letting him have ‘a little fun’ is hosting this party, not you trying to actively encourage him to cheat on me, right in front of me no less.”

Lindsay sneers at you. “Who are you? Get in line sister. Evan told me I would get to talk to him.”

You raise your eyebrows in disbelief.

“I don’t know if I have to spell it out for you, if you can even spell, but I’m his girlfriend.”

“Y/N come on baby it’s not that big of a deal. She just wants to talk to me about my gold medal that’s all.”

“The gold medal you won in the Olympics or the one tattooed around your dick Lance?”

“I’ll only talk to her about the one I won in the Olympics and you know that.”

You had had it. You were so incredibly tired of Lance never sticking up for you when it came to situations like this. You never threw a fit when his friends would make stupid remarks, but this was the last straw.

“I don’t care anymore Lance! Talk to her about your dick tattoo. Hell, let her even see your dick tattoo close up while she’s sucking you off. I’m done.”

Without giving him a second glance. you turned on your heel and walked upstairs to grab your car keys.

Lance sprinted up the stairs after you, shouting your name. You didn’t care. You ran to the garage and hit the button to open the door. Lance thought you went to your room, so he sprinted to the third floor thinking you were there. He finally realized you were actually leaving when he heard the start of your car. He saw you back out of the driveway like a bat out of hell, and all he could do was watch from the window.

_______________________________________________

You drove to the nearest diner, hoping they would be open even though it was New Year’s Eve. Thankfully, they were. You always comforted yourself with food when shit like this happened. Who doesn’t love food? You can’t say that entirely though. You also tended to starve yourself in situations like this as well. Neither coping mechanism was healthy, but it got you through it.

You ordered a breakfast meal, quickly glancing at your phone to see if anyone had texted you.

24 missed calls from Lance❤️🥇

You knew he was worried about you, but you weren’t ready to call him back yet. You knew he couldn’t come searching for you either, all of his friends still being inside, waiting for the ball to drop. This was going to be the first year you and Lance wouldn’t kiss at midnight, all because of his stupid friends who hate you for no reason.

You ate your meal as you saw Ryan Seacrest introduce one artist after another on the television.

The clock was nearing midnight. You didn’t seem to care. You contemplated going to your friend’s house, knowing they would gladly accept you and support you, especially when they knew how much of an ass Lance’s friends could be. You decided against it, not wanting to bother anyone.

You glanced at your phone again.

28 missed calls from Lance❤️🥇

Not only that, but it had looked like he texted you as well.

“Where are you going???”

“Y/N???”

“Baby come back here please I’m very upset and I want to talk”

“Baby please come back and talk to me.”

And about 15 other messages similar to those.

You were heartbroken. You wanted to go home, but you knew you needed to stand your ground.

As the many thousands of people in NYC count down to the New Year you sat and ate your bacon and pancakes.

Lance saw all of his buddies laughing and having a good time. He couldn’t have a good time until he knew you were safe and that he would have everything fixed. He knew he fucked up big time, but he thought you were overreacting to the extreme. Was it really that bad you needed to leave right away?

His annoyance throughout the night grew as Lindsay began to pester him about his interests.

“Lindsay, I don’t know how to tell you this in a nice way, so I won’t. I have a girlfriend. She’s the sexiest, smartest, and sweetest woman on this planet, and that’s all that matters to me. Now please, go bother Johnny or somethin’.”

Lindsay didn’t like that. So much so, she dumped her whole glass of whiskey on his brand-new Nike shoes. He didn’t care she was upset. All he cared about was you.

Evan came back up to Lance for the last time of the night.

“Heyyuh pal. I didn’t mean to make your lady run out on ya.”

“But you did Evan. You fucking idiot, you stupid fucking fucker. You ruined this night for not only me, but my girl who is probably out sobbing to her friends about how much of a shit boyfriend I am. And you know what? I don’t blame her. I deserve it.”

“C’mon man don’t be so *burp* hard on yourself. Hey, at least you can go have fun with Lindsay eh?” He says while wiggling his eyebrows.

Lance was fuming. “Evan if you don’t get the fuck out of my face, I’m going to floor you in about 6 seconds.”

Evan held up his hands and backed away, finally getting the hint he was becoming a nuisance to not only Lance, but the party itself.

He listened to all of his friends count down to the new year in a drunken haze. He slouched over the home bar, drinking himself into a stupor with his seventh gin and tonic. He didn’t care about any of the calories he was consuming. He didn’t care about anything. He knew he wouldn’t have his Angel to hold and kiss into the new year. He wanted nothing more for this night to just end.

_______________________________________________

You snuck back into the house around 4AM, hoping Lance wasn’t awake. You drove around for hours after the ball dropped, the diner closing at 1AM anyways. You listened to 80’s music, calming yourself down. Music always helped you meditate.

As you slowly closed the door you saw Lance sitting miserably in his recliner. He was no longer drunk. Just incredibly depressed.

He turned to look at the door, hoping that the door opening and closing wasn’t just some sleep induced hallucination. As soon as he realized it was you, he jolted up and ran to give you a hug. You stuck your arm out before he could reach you.

He looked devastated.

“I want to talk Lance. I-”

“No, no I fucked up. Let me do this. I have been shit. I have been absolute and utter fucking garbage to you when it comes to my friends. I let them talk to me like I’m still a bachelor. I know you overhear the things they say, and it hurts you. And I let them do that. I don’t know why. I have no reason. It was so fucking stupid of me. You have to know I don’t want any other woman on this planet. You’re my day and my night. I would be lost in this depressing ass place of a world if it wasn’t for you my sweet Angel. My beacon of light.” He stopped his rant briefly to cup your face and stare into your eyes lovingly.

“It all stops here. No more stupid guy shit. You’re my number one and you deserve to be treated that way. If any of my friends continues to disrespect my baby, they’re out. I don’t care who they are and how long they’ve been around. You’re my baby. You’re the only thing that matters.

It felt like a weight had just been lifted off of your chest. You loved him. You really did.

He pulled you in for the tightest hug that he could have possibly ever given. He kisses the top of your forehead for what seems like a hundred times.

You look up to him while he’s still embracing you.

“I like Johnny. Johnny can stay.” You say with a smile.

“Keeping Storm it is, got it.” He returned with a smile.

A lightbulb goes on in Lance’s head. “Oh! Come here, come here, come here. I saved this for you.”

You follow him into the living room, your hand wrapped in his. He flicks through the TV menu, clicking to find the recording from earlier.

It was the ball drop.

“I recorded this for us. I didn’t want to miss kissing my baby into the new year.” He said with a smile.

“Lance Tucker, you are the sweetest man alive, do you know that?”

“C’mon, you know I’m still an asshole. I just have my moments.” He says with an eyeroll.

You slapped his chest playfully as you both slightly laughed.

As the seconds ticked down to midnight for the second time of the night, Lance stared into your eyes with the most love you have ever felt from a person.

“10!”

“Where did you even go anyways?”

“9!”

“Our spot.”

“8!”

I’m gonna take you on the best date there ever was. Just you wait.”

“7!”

“I’ll be counting on that Tucker. A promise is a promise.”

“6!”

“I’m really good at keeping promises.”

“5!”

“Oh really? Just like that time you promised to give me a castle made out of gold?”

“4!”

“You’re still getting that y’know.”

“3!”

“What other promises have you kept huh?”

“2!”

“I promised to love you forever. And I always will.”

“1!”

“I love you too, Lance.”

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

He kissed you with a ferocity you didn’t know existed. He took your bottom lip into his mouth and held it there for what seemed like forever. Forever was okay though, as long as you were with him.

Lance finally broke the kiss, pulling away softly and cupping your face in his left hand. He whispered.

“Check your cardigan pocket.”

You looked confused. He knew you would be. You felt a tiny box in you right hand pocket. It was covered in felt. You slowly pulled it out to see that it was a ring box. You opened it and it had a ring pop inside.

“Ha-ha. Very funny Tuc-”

You looked down to see Lance on one knee. Holding the most beautiful ring you had ever seen in your life.

“I’m going to love you forever, Y/N. Will you marry me?”

You were stunned.

“...Yes.... oh my god, YES!”

He smiled, standing up and wrapping his arms around you as fast as he could.

“I’ll love you forever too, Lance.”

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Leave No One Behind

Ch 12: Win Some, Lose Some Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Part 1

Summary: After 2 years of being at the resort Ari and the other agents are gearing up for yet another mission, but there’s a little bit of trouble in paradise for him and Hannah…

Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW, 18+ only)

Pairings: Ari Levinson x OFC Hannah Horowitz

Song for Episode:  More Than A Woman- Bee Gees  https://youtu.be/DtxBUp6hBaI

A/N: So there’s a little jump in time in this chapter as we fast forward towards the big dramatic end to their time at the RSDR….   Translation: Vete a la mierda = Fuck off.

Series Master List //  Main Masterlist 

Here in your arms I found my paradise, my only chance for happiness. And if I lose you now I think I would die. Oh say you'll always be my baby, we can make it shine. We can take forever, just a minute at a time

March 1982

Ari felt it the moment he woke up that morning. Even before stirring or cracking an eye open he knew the pressure on his left cheek was Simon. After almost two years the pooch still insisted on sleeping on the bed with them, crawling his way up between him and Hannah the moment they fell asleep and ending up on Ari's face sometime during the night. So by now, after many a mistake so to speak, Ari knew all too well what he was feeling wasn't Hannah looking for early morning cuddles but Simon's fat butt. 

Ari groaned and shoved Simon away causing the dog to give a little growl and grunt of his own being as he was on the most comfortable pillow ever. Some things never change Ari thought as he stirred lightly and rubbed his eyes, unable to avoid a lazy smile when he realised what day it was.

 It was the morning of his and Hannah's second anniversary and though the news about the clampdown and heavy military presence on the streets had screwed his plans to take his Firefly into Port Sudan again, like he had done the previous year, he was still going to make sure they celebrated.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit pissed about his plans going awry but at the same time he had to admit the last two years had been the best years of his life and that called for any kind of celebration they could get, be that in Port Sudan or in a fucking dump. Or a dump turned into a flourishing hotel for that matter. It was crazy how they had gotten used to life at the resort two years after that afternoon when he had made the call to turn their cover hiding hole into a real hotel. Their alter egos didn't feel false anymore, and he was as much Guy now as Ari. Mind you, Hannah sometimes called him Guy or Mr. Thomas, often with a fake accent to imitate Colonel Madibo to tease him.

He gave a contented sigh at the thought of his and his Firefly’s relationship which could only be described in one word, amazing. It was as normal as it could be given the circumstances and they had both built something solid out of their feelings for each other once they had admitted to them, that was undeniably true regardless of the true nature of their stay in that slice of paradise along the Red Sea. They argued, that was equally true, and they had disagreements mostly about silly little things which was to be expected in a long-term relationship, but nothing major that they couldn’t figure out at the end of the day. Hannah had moved into his hut a little over two months after her birthday when Ari had jokingly asked her to move in with him. She had laughed but done it anyway as it was the closest they could get to living effectively together, and now here they were, two years of being together nearly 24/7, except for the mandatory week of home leave. It didn’t escape either of their notice that it was more than the time she had been married to Andy and now that he thought about it, it was probably more time than Ari had spent with Sarah in the entire 7 years they were married for that matter. 

Speaking of his family life, Ari was still exchanging regular letters with Maya and on his visits to Tel Aviv he had grown even closer to his daughter than he could ever have hoped to. He was on fairly good terms with Sarah too, although that had gone through a bit of a rocky patch. The first visit home he’d had following the time Sarah had accosted Hannah, they’d had quite a heated argument when he had told his estranged wife that she was out of order to do what she had done. In a blaze of bitter anger, Sarah had accused him of all sorts, including the usual about him loving his job and his new woman more than his daughter, which had culminated in Ari snapping. He’d loudly informed his ex-wife that this was to be his last field mission, and that he was leaving it behind for Maya, not Hannah or anyone else for that matter. And the little petulant brat inside him had enjoyed the complete shock on Sarah's face as well as the mumbled apology she had given him once his words had sunk in.

All in all, everything seemed to be finally falling into place and the fact that Mama Navon had invited him for lunch during that same week’s leave, having obviously been informed by Ethan that he would be around that week, was an added bonus. He had always had a smooth relationship with Maria Navon but they both knew she was not merely his best friend's mother anymore. The fact that she had invited him to come over without Sammy or Hannah being there too spoke for itself. They’d had a heartfelt conversation over the best Sunday roast he had eaten in months, probably even years, where he had come clean about his feelings for Hannah and his intentions towards her. It had been easier than he had anticipated, he had never been a man who liked or found it easy to speak about his feelings, but for whatever reason, when it came to talk about Hannah and what he felt for her, it just flowed out smoothly and Mama Navon had read that in the soft smile and the sparkle in his honest blue eyes when he explained how they had got back together and he assured her he had no intentions of breaking her heart a second time.

No, it wasn’t a “normal” life by any stretch, but it was good. He was doing something to help people and he was doing it with the person he had always loved. They had successful mission after successful mission over the past two years and the team had assembled as perfectly as Ari could have ever envisioned when he had written those five names down before handing the piece of paper to a reluctant Ethan. Hundreds of refugees had been smuggled to Israel and it was set to be another couple of hundred more in a couple of days. That said, given the way things were going with the religious and political landscape in Sudan, he wasn’t sure how much longer they had. A few months, maybe 6 at a push. It wasn’t a particularly comforting thought, as they still had so many people to help, but in the same breath Ari knew he had to be realistic. They couldn’t do this forever, they’d always known that. All they could do was their best, and the best was to simply go as long as they could, saving as many refugees as they could in the time they had.

And when they finally did have to quit, and Ari said goodbye to a life in the field, the fact he was doing that with his Firefly by his side made a future behind a desk in Tel Aviv seem that little less frightening.

Ari was dragged back from his wandering reflections by Simon who had jumped off the bed and was now scratching at the door. He looked at the dog and groaned as he swung his legs out of bed.  "All right, I get it, just don't tear the door down." he whispered to the anxious animal before he walked  to the door and  opened it to let the mutt out for his usual morning pee and wander round the beach, mumbling as Simon trotted past. "Tell you what pal, when we do leave I'll be waving goodbye as you fade into the distance..."

"I heard that Ari, you little shit." Hannah's sleepy voice suddenly rang through the hut's space.

"He’s the little shit Firefly." he stated somewhat childishly, turning to look at his girl as he shut the door.

"Stop being mean to him." she said as she rolled on her back, yawning, her eyes not even open yet.

"He insists on sleeping with his butt on my face. That's what I call mean." Ari protested as he slid back into bed, reaching for his girl, holding her flush against him.

Guided by Ari, Hannah rolled onto her side again, snuggling against his chest, eyes still closed as she smirked.

"That's because your face is so pretty mi Lobo."

"Yeah? Well, in that case why don’t you sleep on it?" he purred, his voice an octave lower than usual.

Hannah cracked an eye open at that and looked up at him "Something tells me if I was on your face I wouldn't be sleeping."

Ari chuckled, dropping his face closer to hers, brushing their noses together as he drawled. "You’re right Firefly. You’d be seeing stars." 

"You have a very high opinion of yourself Mr Thomas." she said, smiling against his beard so that Ari could feel the vibrations of her voice as she tilted her pelvis up to meet his.

"Wanna bet?" he challenged her, his voice almost a groan.

"What’s the cost if I lose?" she asked as she brought her right hand to his face to stroke his cheek.

Ari paused for a moment. So you want to play Firefly , and then smirked as it came to him- the perfect forfeit. "You have to lead the aerobics classes,  not Rachel." he stated as he wriggled his eyebrows playfully at her, knowing she would loathe the idea of having to wear that leotard Ari so loved seeing on her. 

Yeah, having a leotard kink when you spent half of the day surrounded by women in swim gear was kinda odd when he thought about it, but anyway…

Hannah glared at him before blurting out. "Oh, fuck off Ari! No deal."

"So you don't want my face between your legs?" he asked innocently.

 "Fuck you. I hate you." Hannah groaned.

"No you don't..." he purred as he kissed her neck "...you love me..."

And that was it. He knew it the moment Hannah closed her eyes as he gently guided her onto her back and kissed his way down her body.

"Times like this I wonder why..." she sighed out, her hand fisting in his hair which made Ari pause at her belly before peeking up at her.

"Yeah, protest all you want but you love it, you just hate losing. And you’re gonna lose Firefly." 

*******

An hour later, after having breakfast with the team, Hannah was at the front of the group of guests, clad in the infamous leotard leading the class as Jake leaned on counter watching. It wasn't too long until Ari walked over and spotted him. "You, out. Now." he barked, glaring at him.

"What? Why?" Jake protested.

"Because you’re a pervert. Out." Ari ordered him as he gestured to the way out with his right thumb.

"That's so not fair." Jake tried to fight back as he straightened himself. "You never kick me out when Rachel is leading the class."

"That’s because you're never here when Rachel leads the class. Out!" he hissed, trying not to make a scene in front of the tourists. “I won’t tell you again.”

At that point Sammy walked in and came to the desk, frowning. "Where’s Rach? Why is Hannah running the aerobics?"

Ari shrugged and glared at Jake when he snorted on his way out. At that point Rachel came out of the office holding some papers.

"I’m here and apparently Rosa lost a bet." she explained to Sammy who was looking at her puzzled. It took him a second before he groaned.

 "I don't wanna know do I?" he asked as he squinted his eyes at Ari.

"Nope." Ari smirked as he stole a glance at Hannah who was now stretching and bending forward.

"Come on, you two are disgusting." Sammy groaned.

"Ok, that’s it. Everyone out. You too Ari. You never come to my classes, you’re not staying for this one either." Rachel cut them off.

"I’d come to your classes…if you’d let me." Sammy pouted. 

"Oh, come on. You two are disgusting." Ari repeated Sammy's words, mimicking his voice. 

"Ha! You coming Sammy is exactly why she won’t let you." Jake quipped.

"Weren't you gone?" Sammy spluttered, spinning round to face him "Fuck you both." 

Ari couldn't help but laugh at his friend's signature reaction. It had been well over 18 months since Sammy and Rachel had come out as being together but Ari knew he still hated everyone teasing him about it, but he couldn't help it. It was fun and, in a way, it was payback for all the time Sammy had spent holding a grudge against him and Hannah. That said, Rachel was the best influence they all could have wished for. Not only was Sammy far ess grumpy and tense all the time but he was also more willing to enjoy any treat life at the resort had to offer without thinking too much about it. 

"Ok, enough, I said, out...go on." Rachel insisted, shoving Ari on the shoulder.

"Hey, remind me…who's the boss round here?" Ari raised an eyebrow at her.

"It’s me when y’all start acting like pre-schoolers or horny teenagers. And honestly that happens far too often for my liking." Rachel simply stated as she held a stapler and menacingly pointed at each one of them with it. 

And with that the 3 of them made to leave, just as Max appeared from the kitchen with a snack, Simon following him hoping for food.  He looked at the three of them in turn, and then at Rachel, who pointed sending him out too so with a shrug he followed suit. The 3 men passed the front row of the group and Hannah glanced in their direction and Ari grinned at her as he left. Her eyes were positively shooting daggers at him and if looks could kill he’d be dead on the spot. But he would be a corpse with a semi boner having seen her the way she was. So just as he exited the main area, he peeled off his t-shirt and started running directly into the sea without much of a word to the rest who were now staring puzzled.

"I’d swear I can see steam coming from him." Max cuckled and Jake started singing quietly.

"Gimme some hot stuff baby this evening..." as he moved his hips suggestively causing Max to start howling so loud that the sound drowned Sammy's groans.

 "Watch out for the fish, man!" Max howled at Ari just before he flipped them off over his shoulders, which didn't stop Max from teasing him again "They’ll think you’re happy to see them."

"That’s gross." Sammy glared at them, who were both bent with laughter.

"What's more gross…” asked Max. "Us or the fact he's boning your sister?" 

"You had to say it." Sammy groaned again. "I’m done with you two."

"I wouldn’t describe boning Red as gross." Jake, who was now wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes, quipped.

"Fucking fuck you." Sammy snapped at him.

“Ok, ok keep your pants on!” Max chuckled.

"Yeah, come on man, it’s us that aren’t getting any." Jake whined in an attempt to appease Sammy.

"Try fucking each other then." Sammy bit back, still pissed. Max looked at Jake, giving a shudder.

"I’d rather fuck the dog."

At that Jake slapped him on the back of the head "Asshole." 

Sammy snorted and turned to leave, crossing paths with Simon who had spotted daddy Ari in the water and was now trotting towards the sea. "I'd stay away from Max, pooch." Sammy said seriously. Simon just looked at him, before barking and continuing on his way.

As he approached Max, he grinned “No food pal, sorry." but the dog completely ignored him and started running towards Ari who had now come out of the water and approaching them.

"That was fast.”  Jake jabbed at him.

"I just needed to cool off.” Ari shrugged

"Yeah, well, I hope you last longer with Red." Jake smirked at him.

“Don’t hear her complaining." Max told Jake with a grin. “Quite the opposite actually.”

"Ok seriously, shut the fuck up." Ari growled at them as they began to snigger.With a glare he started walking towards his hut, but Ari knew them too well, especially how things were when the two of them teamed up, and he fully understood they wouldn't be willing to let him off the hook that easily so he prepared for one last quip which came from Jake.

"Still wanna hear about that bet she lost." he shouted at Ari's retreating back.

"You wish." Ari yelled back.

"I knew it. You’re my hero, man." Max howled.

Ari didn't look back at Max, he just smirked to himself. Of course Max would get it, he always did. "Yup." he shouted instead, popping the p, as he passed a group of female tourists on the way.

 "Ladies." he greeted them with his signature cocky but friendly smile, which made them giggle and start whispering to each other as they passed him by.

"Seriously, how does he do it?" Jake gasped as they watched the group of women all pause to watch Ari as he walked up the sand.

"Animal magnetism." Max shrugged. "And I don't mean the fact he has Simon running at his heels."

*****

After a refreshing shower, more refreshing than he actually needed as he had changed his usual morning run for other activities that morning, Ari changed into a pair of fresh shorts and a light blue shirt. He was just about to leave hut as Hannah arrived back wearing that damned leotard, causing him to flash his signature wicked smirk at her.

"Don't even think about it. I'm pissed at you, Levinson." she warned him as she passed him by, trying her best not to surrender to that damned smirk of his.

"Oh, I'm thinking IT firefly." Ari laughed as he smacked her butt, causing her to yelp in surprise, and leaving her to shower and change clothes. He went to the main building to sort the arrangements for the call to Ethan later in the day about the last details on the mission and then just spent some time being Guy Thomas. The batch of tourist currently at the resort were leaving the day after next so he chatted with them for a while, ensuring they had enjoyed their stay and would recommend the resort to their family and friends back home. Satisfied real guests were as important as the ones whose number hung from hooks on the board at the reception desk as without them, their cover would be blown.

He was still chatting to the guests when Hannah came into the main dining area, her eyes roaming the room for him and she rolled her eyes when she spotted him being charming Guy, smiling softly as the ladies fawned all around him reminding her of herself when she was a teenager with a crush on her older brother's best friend.

Cliché much.

But those memories weren't the only ones that flashed across her mind. She had been feeling quite homesick lately but as she stood there watching Ari, she began to feel especially down. So, she took a dep breath and decided that baking her Mama’s banana and date loaf, which had been at the back of her mind ever since she had spotted some days before that Chef Aziz had a basket of fresh dates, was just the ticket to cheer herself up.

Of course, Ari had also spotted Hannah the moment she had entered the room, how could he not?  But he hadn't noticed her leave and, after giving the ladies some recommendations as to what to buy in the souk at Port Sudan the following day, he turned around looking for her but she was nowhere to be seen. He wandered off to go find her bumping into Rachel in the reception area who told him she had seen Hannah last heading to the kitchen, which was exactly where Ari found her.

"You ok?" he asked softly from the kitchen's threshold.

Hannah raised her head and turned to look at him for an instant before her eyes were on the dough she was working on again. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"You just disappeared." he drawled, his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned on the doorframe.

Hannah shrugged. "I have more important things to say than watch you flirt, Mr Thomas."

"I wasn’t flirting..." Ari protested immediately and she once more looked at him. "Ok, maybe I was. A little."

"Satisfied guests, uh?" she teased.

"Well, need to keep the tourists happy, Han..." he conceded playfully.

"So I assume they’re happy enough and that’s why you’re here instead of with them now?" 

She was smiling though he couldn't see it. All he could see was the way her ass cheeks were contracting every time she exerted force on the dough.

"That and the fact I wondered where you'd gotten to." he managed to say, after swallowing, his eyes moving back up her body.

"You missed me Mr Thomas? Who’d have thought?" she teased once more.

Ari rolled his eyes and approached her from behind.  "Stop being a brat Firefly."

"I’m not being a brat, Ari and stop rolling your eyes at me." she scoffed, her tone hardened this time. "I can't see you but I know you just did."

Ari stopped behind her and cocked his head to one side and frowned. Despite her casual tone she wasn’t being as playful as normal "Han...what's wrong? You're not really pissed at me for talking to those girls, are you? Because I'm not interested..."

She sighed. "I know, Ari. It’s just... not today."

Now he was really puzzled. "Hey, come on Firefly, talk to me...what is it?" He asked, as his hands landed cautiously on her hips.

"Nothing really, it’s just I’m a bit homesick today." She said, not wanting to react to Ari's touch.

Ari sighed noticing the stiffness of her body and the sadness in her voice "Oh, baby come here." he said, gripping her hips and turning her around to hug her. And as he wrapped his arms around her back, his chin rubbing against the top of her head, he noticed the ingredients on the side for the first time and he let out a groan "You making... no...  you're not?"

Hannah grinned and looked up at him. "I am."

"That's my favourite thing your mama makes" he groaned.

"I know baby." she gazed at his eyes, in the hope that he realised why he was baking that particular treat.

"So...are you making it because you're homesick or because it's our 2 year anniversary?" he asked, winking an eye at her.

She beamed at him, her grin now reaching her eyes. "You remembered?"

"Of course I did!" he said, holding her tighter, before pausing. "Wait...did you think I'd forgotten?"

Hannah felt her cheeks went red with embarrassment . "Yeah, I did."

"Han..." Ari started as he shook his head, chuckling. "2 years ago we got our second chance. Like I'd ever forget that."

She bit her lip. "I’m sorry it’s just you never mentioned us going to Port Sudan like last year and I assumed..."

"Baby, we can't. I wanted to take you, I really did  but, with the talk of stuff going on in the cities, the whole clamp down and Sharia law that’s coming in, well, we're not married so..." he shook  his head again sadly. "It's not possible or even worth the risk. You understand that?"

“No, I know. You’re right." he sighed. "God, I feel stupid now."

He chuckled as he swayed her in his arms. "That doesn't mean I haven't got anything planned."

She grinned at him, playing with the upper buttons of his shirt. "Do you have something planned?"

"Well I could tell you...but then I'd have to kill you." he drawled.

"Rude Levinson."  she scoffed, pushing his chest as she turned around back to her baking station. "For that you’re not getting a single ounce of this loaf I’m making."

Ari laughed heartily, wrapping his arms round her from behind again and kissing her neck. "Don't be like that firefly."

"Like what? You don’t wanna tell me what you’re planning but I’m more than happy to tell you what I am planning. Which is not letting you eat any of this fucking delicious banana and date loaf."

He chuckled again. "You really want me to spoil the surprise honey?” Hannah smiled and this time he could see her doing it from the corner of his eye. "No. I’m just teasing you."

"What else is new?" he said as he pushed his groin against her from behind, his lips soft on her neck.

"Stop teasing me Lobo or you won’t get any and now I’m not talking about the loaf." she threatened, raising the rolling pin at him.

"Ok, ok." he chuckled and he kissed her cheek again. "You win." And at that she turned to look at him.

"What else is new?" she asked as she winked at him.

"Shall I remind you of the leotard you were sporting just this morning?" he raised an eyebrow at her and Hannah gasped, narrowing her eyes.

"Vete a la mierda." she grumbled and Ari snorted.

"Ok, I don’t know what that means but I’m assuming it’s not I love you Ari, you’re the love of my life."

"You assume correctly, Lobo."

"All right" he said, raising his hands up. "I surrender. I’m gonna go..." and he started walking backwards "...talk with some..." now a side smile on his face "...lady tourists. Keep them satisfied you know."

Hannah smirked. "You do that. Maybe I'll go talk to that group of boys that Jake took out diving before. They seemed nice." 

Instead of falling for her trap Ari merely shrugged. "Talk to them as much as you want as long as you remember you’re mine." And with that he cocked an eyebrow, giving her a stern look and turned to leave, smug smirk on his face, his hand running through his hair. 

Bastard, Hannah thought as she resumed her work.

**** Later that day, after having called HQ to fill Ethan in on the last details of the upcoming mission and a bit of an argument about the change in rendez-vous point at such short notice, Ari was sat outside in the sun with Rachel and Sammy. He was trying to relax, he was always on edge the days before a mission and having to call Ethan was always a task he wasn't overly fond of. Not because of the man, Ari had learnt how to deal with him over the years the same way Ethan had learnt how to put up with Ari's attitude which caused him the biggest migraines a boss could ever endure. The thing that stressed Ari the most about those calls was the fact that he had to sneak from the tourists and staff, away from prying ears and hope communication was cooperating. And that day in particular the resort was overflowing with people everywhere he went so the office was out of the question and the huts didn't seen secluded enough to him, so he had had no option but to drive a few miles into the desert and set the radio in the back of the jeep connecting it to the car's aerial. 

Thankfully it had worked and an hour or so later he was back and had settled in the same spot he was in now,  drinking a beer and trying to ease his mind as he had another secret mission to perform in a few hours, one that got him equally anxious but in a different way.  He looked at Sammy and Rachel and saw Sammy's arm resting around her shoulders, gently rubbing her arm. It was good to see them like that for once. Unlike him and Hannah, Rachel and Sammy didn't feel very comfortable with PDA and they kept it to a minimum which had meant it was only after months of being together that Max and Jake had found out there was another couple within the resort management team.

Ari was so lost in his thoughts that he inadvertently gave out a big sigh earning an amused look from Rachel.

"I take it you’re still planning on not joining us for dinner tonight?" she asked.

Sammy frowned. "What? Where you going?"

"I’m taking Hannah for a picnic. It’s a surprise so don’t tell her Sammy." Ari warned his friend, pointing at him with his beer bottle.

Sammy rolled his eyes. "Soppy bastard."

"Leave him alone, he wants to celebrate properly." Rachel defended Ari.

"You’re celebrating something?" Sammy asked again, puzzled. It wasn't anyone's birthday, not that he recalled.

"You could say that." Ari grinned at him.

Sammy frowned, not following his friend, and Rachel chuckled. "It's two years today since he and Hannah got back together."

 At that Sammy opened his eyes wide. "Already?"

Ari nodded. "Time flies, huh?"

"Yeah..." Sammy agreed, nodding absentmindedly. "Feels like only yesterday I punched you in your perfect teeth."

"You’re still calling that a punch?" Ari snorted.

"Don’t make me do it again you smug bastard." 

"Wouldn’t dream of it pal." Ari conceded, raising his hands in mock surrender.

Sammy smiled at him. "I guess congratulations are in order then."

Ari smirked wickedly, making Rachel raise an eyebrow at him, before speaking. "Save it for the proposal..."

And there it was, Rachel thought. He had got Sammy again, he always did, who was now choking on his drink as Ari bursted out laughing. 

"You’re a shit Levinson." Sammy growled, wiping the spilled drink off his chin.

"Funnily enough that's exactly what your sister says too." Ari smirked again, raising his beer in a mock toast before gulping it down and standing up, heading back to his hut.

Hannah was in the shower after having been on a dive later that afternoon with Jake and Max, so Ari quickly changed and when she emerged she smiled at him, taking in his navy shorts and casually smart green button down.

“Hey.” She took the kiss he offered and he pulled back, smiling.

“So, tonight we’re having a night ‘out’ at the resort” he told her and she frowned, her expression puzzled. But he didn’t go into any more detail. “Just be ready in half an hour.”

With that he disappeared off to set up his surprise. With a little help from Aziz, who’d packed the food for him, and Rachel who’d managed to get him everything else he wanted, he quickly laid everything out and headed back to find Hannah was putting the last touches to her hair, pulling it back into a loose braid. She was dressed in a pale blue sun-dress which pulled in at the waist, falling to her knees, thin spaghetti straps resting on her sun-kissed skin.

“You look beautiful.” He smiled as she stood up.

“Thanks.” She said, that adorable flush evident in her cheek and he held out his hand.

“Come on Firefly.”

He led her to their cave but as they approached he tugged her in front of him, his hands gently moving to cover her eyes.

“Ari!” she protested as he chuckled, walking them forward

“Just humour me okay?” he whispered, his lips brushing her cheek. Once she was positioned in the mouth of the cave he moved his hands and Hannah blinked, looking around. On the floor of the cave was a rattan blanket, which held a picnic hamper in the middle, and various candles were lit as they nestled in the many little nooks and crannies of the rock that formed their cave. Hannah felt the tears in her eyes at the thoughtfulness and she turned to look at Ari.

“Ari..” she whispered and he blinked before he realised they were happy tears.

“I just wanted to do something special.” He shrugged, “seeing as we couldn’t go anywhere.”

“It’s perfect.” She assured him, standing on her toes to give him a soft kiss.

They settled down next to each other, Hannah tucking her legs underneath her as Ari poured her a glass of wine and the two of them began unpacking their food. Before long they were tucking in with gusto, laughing and joking as they always did, the light starting to fade outside as the sun dipped beneath the horizon, Simon led at the mouth of the cave, napping. It was quiet, romantic, and they could have been anywhere as they sat and simply enjoyed being with one another as the night passed them by.

“Shit.” Ari sighed as he tipped the last of the wine into Hannah’s glass “We drank it all.”

“You only bought 2 bottles?” Hannah teased and gave her a look as she giggled.

“I’m sorry.” He said sarcastically causing her to laugh.

“Don’t pout Mi Lobo.” She set her glass down and shuffled over to him

“Ya know, my feelings are pretty hurt.” He muttered as she pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah?” she asked, her lips now making their way down to his jaw line.

“Yup…” he sighed, eyes closing as she brushed over the whiskers on his face, his breath hitching as she reached his neck.

“Feel better now?”

“Not quite…”

“How about now?” Hannah asked, her teeth grazing his ear lobe.

“Gettin’ there.” Ari mumbled, turning his head, his mouth finding hers. The kiss was deep, their tongues sliding effortlessly together as Hannah let out a little whimper, a noise Ari would never, ever tire of hearing.

Pulling away he ran his nose up her throat to her chin, nudging her head back a little and Hannah’s weight fell backwards onto her arms, her palms burying into the cool sand. His lips gently placed a warm, open mouthed kiss onto her neck, causing her to shiver softly as his right hand traced up her side, over the top of. With a fluid movement he slid the strap down, and his head dipped, mouth sucking gently at her delicate collar bone. Hannah gave a soft sigh and Ari moved, his arms circling her waist as he pulled her into his lap, her knees falling either side of his thighs as his hands slid up to cup her face. He looked at her for a moment, her blue eyes shining in the reflection of the moonlight on the ocean outside.

“God, I love you.” He whispered, his eyes closing as her fingers tangled in his beard, her lips ghosting over his.

“I love you too Mi Lobo…”

And that was it, those 2 fucking words that she’d spoken so many damned times over the past two years sparked something primal, animalistic in him and his hands moved her face back to his as he kissed her hard.

Hannah palmed her hands against his chest before her fingers carefully began popping the buttons of his shirt. As her fingers brushed his skin as she worked it open, the sensation of her touch caused goosebumps to bubble over his entire body, and as usual,  her infectious smile brought forth a pulsating desire from deep within him that was impossible to ignore. Once his shirt was undone she reached up and pushed it down over his broad shoulders and Ari freed his arms, tossing it off to the side somewhere as Hannah’s mouth met his once more in a furious kiss. Her tongue was in his mouth, seeking his and he felt her teeth gently nibbling at his bottom lip. At that, Ari gave a growl and he pulled away, dropping his head to the spot on her neck once more, hands moving from her hips to pull her dress over her head. With an easy snap of his fingers, he undid the clasp of her bra and she pulled it off, dropping it besides them. Ari took a moment to look at her chest, his hands sliding up her ribcage, his eyes flicking back to hers so he could watch her response as he began to play with her in a way he knew she loved. Over and over he gently kneaded and palmed her sensitive flesh, thumbs skating her nipples before he softly tweaked them both, teasing them to soft peaks as he dropped his head, his mouth engulfing her right bud. He sucked and teased with his tongue before gently grazing with his teeth all the while feeling her grinding down on him, her hands tangling in his hair.

“Shit…” she groaned, nails biting into his scalp as he pushed upwards, the bulge in the front of his shorts grinding up against her spot through her now soaked panties, mouth and hands still teasing at her breasts. “Ari…”

“What do you want baby girl?” he whispered against her skin as his mouth moved upwards, beard scratching, teeth nipping her neck as she continued making those noises that he could listen to all damned day. Her hands let go of his hair as she fumbled to unbutton his shorts and he moved slightly so that she could pull them down a little over his hips.  Her warm palm wrapped around now aching cock and pulled it free from his underwear and Ari gave a slight hiss through his teeth, slipping his hands under the hem of her dress. His large hands cupped her ass cheeks, fingers digging into the underneath just where the curve of her globes met her thighs and he pulled her tight against him. The grip of her hand around his dick drew a groan from his mouth and he swallowed, his voice raspy as he spoke again. “Tell me baby…” he instructed and then when she answered, her words combined with her hand tightening around his cock almost made him shoot his load there and then

“Fuck me Ari…”

With a growl, Ari moved his hands, pulling her panties aside as she shiftedd herself, her hand guiding him towards her. Lining him up, she lowered herself down, giving a long, drawn out whimper of delight as she felt him fill her.

“Shit, Han…” Ari groaned, his hands on her hips as he bucked upwards, feeling her hot, warmth tighten around him. “God you feel so good baby…”

At his dirty talk Hannah moaned again, her hands moving up to rest on his shoulders and without warning Ari thrust his hips up in a dirty grind, pushing himself into her as deep as he possibly could.

“Fuck!” she cried out, her nails digging into his skin, one hand moving to tangle into his hair at the back and she gave a sharp tug, pulling his head back.

The bite of pain made his cock twitch even more, but the noise he made was swallowed as her lips crashed onto his, and it was all too much. He needed release. Ari began to matching her motions, the wet sound of his balls slapping against her ass echoed off the rough, rocky walls of their hidden little hideout and his lips moved from hers to her jaw, nipping at her skin.

“You've had me hard for you all day, Firefly…” he panted and Hannah gave a soft wail at his words, “Such a fuckin’ tease…”

His movements picked up, becoming faster as he rutted upwards into her again and again, and she began to move herself, her hips rocking forward and back furiously as she ground her clit against his pubic bone, her eyes locked on his as she moved. Ari’s fingers dug into the skin just above the waist band of her panties, nails biting her delicate hips as she worked herself into an almost frantic pace, and Ari knew he wasn’t gonna last much longer.

“Come for me baby…” he said, his mouth back on her neck “Come on, good girl…”

At his words, Hannah was a complete goner, powerless to stop the pleasure that was lancing through her very core. She came, with a surge that shook her entire body, her head falling back as she gasped, mouth open, a broken, trembling cry escaping her as she pumped her hips wantonly against his crotch, riding the wave of her orgasm bucking once... twice... before she collapsed against his chest going completely limp, breathing hard. Ari’s own hips were still pumping upwards as he raced towards his own end, Hannah completely spent on his laps before he felt that coil in his belly and groin snap and with a loud groan, he came, the intensity shocking him slightly as he bit down on her shoulder, his hips stopping and he collapsed backwards, crashing onto the sand behind him, Hannah clutched to his chest.

Time just stopped for them both, Ari’s hands gently caressing her back, his eyes closed as he pressed a kiss to Hannah’s forehead as they both lay, breathing deeply, waiting for the earth to right itself. Ari had no idea if it was 1 minute or 5, but eventually he felt Hannah stir a she snuggled further into his chest.

“God, Ari, that…that was incredible.” She croaked. "Yeah....." was all he could manage in return.

Part 2 

[krreader]

the wrong victim | chapter 4.

pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader fandom: bts ; mentions of exo warnings: gang!au ; non idol!au ; language ; blood genre: angst ; fluff word count: 2.3k+ previous: 1 ; 2 ; 3

summary: in which jeongguk accidentally kidnaps the wrong person and begs you to play the part of the one he actually had to kidnap, just so he could become a member of the famous Bangtan Boys. And, well, you were always a sucker for boys with a tragic past.

a/n: I can’t believe it took me nearly two years to update this, I am so fucking sorry, but writing a new part now made me realize how much my writing style developed over the years and I am pleasantly surprised tbh. anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this ♥

“How is he?” everyone got up when Jin finally walked out with bloody hands that he wiped on a cloth, then brushing the sweat off his forehead with his arm.

“He's stronger than you all give him credit for. He's going to make it.”

Everyone in the room let out a relieved sigh, you plopping back down on the couch and brushing your hands through your hair, shutting your eyes so tight that you began to see stars.

What the hell were you doing?

You just got into a fight and shot someone - that deserved it -, to save the guy that kidnapped you, then afterwards, promising to stay with that same guy, just because you were afraid that it might be the last thing that he'd ever hear.

This was getting out of hand and what started as an action made out of the kindness off your heart had put you in a position that you didn't know how to get out of anymore and that scared you. And not just that, but you weren’t feeling guilty for what you had done. It was like... it had come natural to you. And that surely wasn’t a feeling you should be feeling after having hurt someone.

“By the way,” Jin looked at you, waiting for you to do the same, “He's asking for you. Might be nice for him to see his girl.”

Taehyung started laughing, Yoongi whistled, while the rest just smirked.

You didn't give any of them much attention, simply did what Jin had asked and walked into the room.

He had shut the blinds, one lamp in the corner of the room illuminated it only so much that you could see where you were going and where he was.

He was awake, but his eyelids were heavy. Though, despite all this, he smiled when he saw you.

“Hey..-”

“Don't you fucking hey, me,” you said angrily, “What the hell were you thinking? These guys were ten times taller than you and you just walk in and get yourself nearly killed?”

Jeongguk blinked at you a few times, then he chuckled, though quickly stopping and furrowing his eyebrows when that hurt his body, “You were worried.”

“Worried for my sake,” you lied, though at that time, you still told yourself that it was the truth and that you were worried merely for selfish purposes, “If you had died, it would be ten times harder to get away from here. And while we're having this discussion..-”

“You said you'd stay,” he interrupted you straight away, looking at you with wide eyes, almost disappointed already that you were thinking about breaking your promise.

“Listen to me,” you let out a heavy sigh and sat down on the bed next to him, “I don't know what kind of fucked up fantasy you have began to develop in your mind about me and you being in this criminal relationship..-”

“..-it's not about that..-”

“..- but it won't happen,” you crossed your arms in front of your chest, trying to act serious for his, but also your sake. It was like you had to tell him, but also yourself, “I said that because I didn't know whether or not you were going to make it. This has gone way too far and you know it,” you shook your head, “You got what you wanted, you're part of this wonderful gang that will definitely get you killed one day. I helped you, now you help me get out of here and get back to my boring life that I miss.”

“But do you actually?” he asked, then carefully sat up when you didn’t reply right away, “Because part of me thought you were actually beginning to enjoy this.”

You snorted, “Don’t flatter yourself.”

But this was the problem, wasn���t it? He could see right through you, despite not knowing you for that long. 

It’s not a life that you ever thought would suit you, but maybe..-

Before you could think about this much further, the door got opened and the rest of his members walked in.

“You two done fucking?”

“I hope that's not what you did, that's surely going to open up the stitches,” Jin said disapprovingly.

You simply gave Jeongguk one last look, then got up and walked out, leaving them alone with him.

“Oh, oh.. trouble in paradise?” Jimin sat down where you had just sat, “Is she mad that you nearly got killed?”

“Yeah.. something like that.”

“By the way, who is (Y/N)?” Hoseok asked with a cocked head, “It's what you called her back at the scene.”

Yeah, of course they wouldn't let that go.

“It's just a nickname,” Jeongguk lied as he shrugged.

“That's... a weird nickname, because it sounds like a normal name.”

“Why is that weird? You guys all picked western names too,” Taehyung crossed his arms in front of his chest, “She's just like the rest of us, so I don't see an issue.”

Taehyung would always come to his rescue and Jeongguk gave him a grateful smile for that.

“Yeah.. like us,” Namjoon repeated as he watched you sit down at the couch outside of Jeongguk’s room with a smile. A proud smile, “Maybe we were wrong about her after all.”

“Whatever. Right now, Jeongguk needs to rest,” Jimin smiled and ruffled his hair, “Sleep, kiddo.”

And even though he was out of danger now, he could not find any rest the entire night. 

Deep down, he knew that he had to get you out of here, rather sooner than later, before this could escalate any further. Because instead of looking at you disapprovingly, Namjoon had actually smiled at you before.. proudly, so. And even if Hoseok had said that he doubted Namjoon had meant it when he had said you were part of the gang now, he might begin to consider it now that you've proven yourself to be a good shot and saved one of his members.

And getting you out then would be ten times harder.

On top of that, there was still the matter of your mother. If you didn't show up eventually, she'd file a missing persons report and then once that reached the cops, it might lead back to them and then they'd all be in deep shit.

Bad enough that the cops had a pixelated picture of you stealing something, but Yoongi would be able to fix that, he always did and led the cops into a different direction.

But once your mother would file that missing persons report... there might not be such an easy way out anymore.

And so reluctantly, Jeongguk pushed aside the covers, keeping pressure on his wound to be able to walk steadily and make his way outside, but stopping when he heard you talk to... Taehyung? Who he was sure you hated?

“Here,” he handed you a glass filled with what Jeongguk assumed was alcohol, “You look like you need it.”

“I never understood why you're so nice to me when I've been nothing but an ass to you.”

“You're nice to Kookie, so I feel like I need to be nice to you,” he shrugged, “That boy has been through a lot, you know? And I know he's labeled as this playboy guy, but you might actually be the first girl that he has real feelings for.”

“Don't be ridiculous,” you snorted into your glass.

“No, I mean it. The way he looks at you and back in the car, it seemed like all that kept him alive was the thought of seeing you again. He didn't have anything or anyone before us, but now he has more to lose than just six gang members.”

“In case you forgot, he kidnapped me.”

“I think YOU are the one that forgets that sometimes,” he got up from the couch, “From what we've heard, you've never quite had the cleanest slate yourself, as much as you'd like to pretend that you did. There is this rumor.. Namjoon never told me anything, but I overheard him talking to Yoongi hyung. EXO wanted you for a reason. They heard about your talents and wanted to recruit you. And not just them. Any rivaling gang had their eyes on you. We just got lucky that we got to you first.”

“You make it sound like you think I'm here for good.”

“Sooner or later you're going to understand that this gang life with us isn't the worst thing that can happen. I heard about the dump you lived in before, but here? You could have everything you want. You could be everything you want to be. And most importantly... you could be with who you want to be. I know that Namjoon won’t keep you here forever if you truly don’t want to be here, so as soon as he’s sure that you won’t tell on us, he’d let you go. But I don’t think that’s going to happen, Soomin.”

And with that, he walked away.

You didn't see him, but Taehyung did and he winked at Jeongguk who had hid behind a wall when he passed by him.

He thought you might yell something like your usual: 'You're full of shit' after him, but you didn't. You just sat there and stared into your glass, before downing it in one go.

Because see, when someone calls you out on the things that you've been lying to yourself about, it was time to reflect.

And you had a lot of that to do.

Because as much as you hated to admit it... shooting the balls of someone that had deserved it, after years of watching the news and seeing what kind of assholes were out there... it made you think that maybe it was time to change sides.

That maybe, you were on the wrong side of the law.

And that maybe, your boring life that you so desperately claimed that you wanted to get back to, was actually just a cover-up for the truth.

That maybe, you did want to be a part of this.

But admitting that to yourself... it made you sick. Because you tried to tell yourself that you weren’t like that. Like them.

But what if you were?

Jeongguk slowly approached you, not wanting to startle you.

“If you want to leave... then I'll get you out of here.”

“What?” you furrowed your eyebrows, turning around to look at him, “So suddenly?”

“I was naive to think that you might actually stay with me and maybe you were right, maybe I really did make up this fantasy in my head,” he sat down next to you, noticing how your hand immediately reached out to help him, but then you pulled it back once you realized what you were doing, “But it just felt like my life was finally complete now. I had my six brothers and then destiny decided to put you into my life and suddenly I went from having nothing to having everything I could have ever wished for.”

You didn't respond to that, simply let out a heavy sigh.

“I'm sorry for everything that happened, (Y/N), truly.”

“Jeongguk. Can you give me my phone?”

“Wh..- What?”

“You guys took it from me when you brought me here. But I'd like to have it back.”

He wasn't sure this was a good idea. In fact, he was sure it was a terrible idea. What if you were going to call the cops now? Would serve them right, but.. could he take that risk?

“Why?”

“Please. Just give it back to me.”

It didn't seem like you were going to elaborate on what you were going to do with it, so after a few more moments of hesitation, he finally got up, walked away and came back a few minutes later with your phone in his hand.

Before letting go of it, though, he said: “Please don't take my family away from me.”

And then he slowly, very slowly, walked back into his room, hoping to hear whatever you were going to do next.

What you did do, however, surprised him.

“Hey mom. I know, I know, yell at me all you want, you have every right to do so. I am still alive, I'm well and I'm sorry I haven't called earlier. I actually have... good news! I got a new job! Yes, I know! It's a little farther away from the city so I had to commute and I was just so stressed and tired and didn't get a chance to just sit down and call and I know I should have but...- no, it's a good job, really! The co-workers are really nice and the boss... well, he's a boss, you know? Can be a bit of an asshole, but oh well. Anyways, I'm not sure if I can stop by on the 23rd like we agreed on, depends on my schedule, but if I can't, I'll definitely call again. Yes, mom. I promise. I won't go as long as I did now without calling. Okay. Yeah. I love you too. Bye.”

And as you ended the call and stared at the screen, you knew that he was still there.

He looked at you with wide eyes and an open mouth, not believing what you had just done.

Then you said: “Here's the new deal. I will stay... for now. I will however not be your maid anymore or whatever the hell that you brought me here for in the first place. I will do what I want to do. I will call my mother whenever I want to and I will be able to go out whenever I want to. I will not be a prisoner here anymore. If you want me to stay, then don't treat me like a kidnapped anymore.”

“Then... what do you want me to treat you like from now on?”

You got up, brushing over your clothes to straighten them out and once you did and stood tall again, you confidently said: “Like a member of your team.”

You just hoped that this was the right decision.. because like Jeongguk, if you decided to go down that path, there was no going back anymore.

[ktheist]

interlude: sit still, look pretty. [1]

a spin off from nice guys finish last fic.

synopsis. yoongi is like the embodiment of the dark side of the moon while jungkook is the luminous, shining side that showers you with his light. one grounds you down to earth and the other makes you want to reach your hand up and touch the cosmos.

but you can’t be making decisions on your own now. everything you do and all you will do, is subject to the happiness of the little bundle of joy you had along the way of your fallen marriage.

and it’s obvious as day, your daughter won’t accept anyone else as her father other than min yoongi and nobody else as her mother other than you.

muses. ex-husband!dad!yoongi x ceo!mom!reader x co ceo!jungkook

genre. slice of life

chapters. previous | next

words. 1.2k

note. i’ve been pretty busy with classes and assignments so i decided to do this. i’m more of a ‘let the story flow’ kind of person so i can’t say for sure how many chapters it’ll be lmaooo 

x

you like yoongi - you were married and you loved him then but you still like him now. maybe it’s the way he keeps it real with you. tells things straight to your face. 

you like it. keeps you grounded.

but that’s also why you divorced him. sometimes his words are a little too blunt. a bit too imposing even. felt like he was holding you back from what you wanted to do most which was running your own startup with your rival-turned-co ceo.

“you’re gonna let our three year old hang out at the office on the day you’re supposed to pick her up from kindergarten but failed to do so, so i had to drop her off here because you said by the time i got here, you’d be done with the meeting,” like right now when he uses that judging tone of his and that stone face without any trace of empathy whatsoever, “which you clearly aren’t?”

you don’t hold back from crunching your nose with displeasure. a hard frown settling on your features. you can feel hwayoung physically shifting in your arm. her giggles have died down and you know for sure, if you glance down, you’ll see her smile taking a turn downwards. she may be young but she’s not blind to the tension that lapses between her mother and father.

so for your daughter’s sake, you press a kiss on her forehead and drop on your knees to set her down on her little feet. 

“baby, why don’t you play with auntie joy while i talk to your dad?” she’s still giving you those puppy eyes - the same ones you used to give to yoongi throughout the three years you spent raising her together - when you signaled for joy to come and take her.

she doesn’t protest, letting joy hold her hand and guide her out of your office, the squeak of her shoes cutting through the silence until it’s out of shot.

“seriously, what’s your problem?” you run a hand through your hair, pushing the strands you had initially styled to frame your face back, “i told you it was a really important meeting. i stepped out to say thanks for doing me a favor even though it’s rude to walk out of a meeting with the directors. hwayoung doesn’t care - i brought all her toys here so she could play with them while waiting.”

his eyes widens in mockery, voice raising into a pitch “oh wow. you went out of your way to make sure your daughter isn’t bored. con-fucking-grats. do you want a pat on the back for a job well done?”

then his voice drops, eyes boring into yours like he’s the least bit impressed, “she wouldn’t even have to be here if you did your part as her parent and picked her up after school like you’re supposed to.”

“not everyone has the luxury to laze around at home and go ‘oh! look at the time. time to pick up my daughter because i’m fucking min-no work-yoongi’.” you retort, heart pounding rapidly in your chest, face hot from pure unadulterated anger that begins to make its course the way only min yoongi can.

it’s only until a moment and yoongi’s crestfallen face later, do you realize the weight of your words. 

“wow.” the man nods, tongue prodding from inside his cheek. he walks backwards slowly, palms held midair as though in surrender.

but you don’t feel like a winner as you watch the man you used to share your fears and aspirations with, twirl around and walk straight out of the door like he’s walking out of your life. again.

“fuck.” you hiss under your breath, hand swiping the mug of pens closest to you off the desk. a shattering clamor cuts through the leftover tension.

it’s a whole solid minute later that jungkook pops his head into your office, the rest of his body outside still visible from the see through wall. a whistle escapes his mouth at the sight of pens and glass pieces strewn across the floor, a shard glinting dully next to your own heel.

“trouble in paradise?”

he strides in, hands buried in the pockets of his cobalt blue trousers.

“piss off.” you grunt, shooting him a probably uncalled for glare.

jungkook doesn’t seem offended, eyebrows knitting together in a rather concerned frown, “hey, we’re a team now. i hate to see you like this as much as i hate to see you regret it when you step out of that door still mad over what your ex-husband said.”

“or did.” he adds as an afterthought.

“he didn’t do jack shit.” you confess, shoulders slouching, “i called him an unemployed loser even though i know he quit his job so he could pay more attention to hwayoung - fuck, i’m an asshole.”

you pinch the bridge of your nose just between your eyes, willing the memories of yoongi’s crestfallen face away even though you know it’ll haunt your dreams for at least a week. 

“that, you are.” jungkook nods from the corner of your eye.

“but you’re not a bad mother, ____. i saw how much you wanted to be the one to pick hwayoung up from school but also didn’t want to miss the meeting. in the end you chose to stay and lead the meeting. thanks to you, it looks like we’ll be coming to an agreement faster than we thought we would.” he adds, and that’s the thing about jungkook, he doesn’t sugarcoat it but he doesn’t necessarily throw a brick in your face and tell you to take it for what it is.

and all of a sudden, you feel like a dead weight have been lifted off your shoulders. your spine feels a little straighter and your chest more puffed than a minute ago.

“meeting starts back in five. let’s wrap it up so you can go back to being a badass mom.” the corners of his lips tilt higher just in the briefest second before he twirls on his feet and walk out of your office.

you tuck the hem of your skirt down, smoothing out the creases and retying the ribbon around the neckline of your peach colored blouse before strutting out of your own office, head held high, heels clicking against the floor, announcing your return to the meeting room.

[mst3kproject]

The River of the Giant Alligator

A bunch of Italians pretending they’re not Italian in a movie about a guy who chose the wrong place to build a hotel… it’s like Avalanche by way of Devil Fish, with an alligator.  And racism.  You can’t have a 70’s Italian jungle movie without the racism, and this one layers it on real thick.  I think The River of the Giant Alligator has its MST3K bases covered.

Rich Asshole Joshua has opened Paradise House, a resort in the middle of the ‘virgin jungle’.  He proudly tells visitors that not only has he left the surrounding ecosystem undamaged, but he’s helping the local people by giving them jobs and improving their standard of living.  Naturally it’s not as simple as that.  Trouble begins when Sheena, the model they brought for their advertising photographs (just for a dash of Killer Fish), vanishes overnight.  Photographer Daniel and hotel manager Ally go to the locals looking for her, and are told that the River God has awakened and intends to drive the white people away by assuming the form of a giant crocodile and eating them all.  Considering how mind-bogglingly stupid the tourists in this movie are, that should take all of twenty minutes.

The locals, who call themselves the Kuma, have a name for their River God but it’s pronounced five different ways and I won’t guess how to spell it.  Because of the deep breathing sounds that presage its first appearance, I shall call the creature Darth Gator.

Let’s get the basics out of the way first.  The whole movie is dubbed and the voice actors are bad. The Darth Gator prop is completely immobile but they mostly keep it in the dark or in really tight shots so we don’t notice… it’s only the occasional ill-advised wide shot where it’s obviously fake enough to be funny.  There’s a spiky fence that exists mostly so that people can get impaled on it and a cloying little kid for no reason whatsoever.  The ‘wildlife’ is a stock footage smorgasbord that includes orangutans and hippos on the same river.  The worst effect in the film is a terrible miniature shot of the hotel on fire, which would have looked just fine if the people involved hadn’t forgotten that flames don’t scale.

So all that sucks, but is fairly harmless.  Now let’s talk about the racism.

We’ll start with the movie’s treatment of its two ‘love stories’, and I use the floating commas because neither of them quite qualifies. Daniel and Ally are the main ‘couple’ of the movie.  The camera lingers on each of them to show that he thinks she’s beautiful and she thinks he’s rugged, and they spend the whole movie hanging out on balconies and boats together and discussing whether the resort is good or bad for the local people… but they never get so much as a kiss.  This is kind of nice, actually, because there’s very little time to stop and make out when you’re being chased by a large carnivorous reptile.  It does, however, make for a hell of a contrast between them and the other ‘couple’ we see.

This is the model, Sheena, and her Kuma boyfriend. I am unclear on where this movie is set (the closest we get to a clue is Ally referring to the area as ‘the Orient’, which could honestly mean anything) but it’s perfectly clear that the reason they hired a black woman for their publicity photos is to make the place look ‘exotic’.  There’s a weird moment when Joshua attempts to flirt with Sheena by telling her, “it occurs to me that Eve herself may have been black”, which… yes, that is how human evolution worked, what about it?  All that aside, at the end of the day, Sheena runs off for a romantic evening with one of the tribesmen.  We never see her talk to this guy or have any clue what made her pick him over any of the others.  They just go fuck on a beach and then get eaten by an alligator.

So… we have blonde, blue-eyed white people having a perfectly chaste, wait-for-marriage love affair in which they actually get to know each other… and black people who run off with a stranger and screw out in the open like animals.  Holy shit.  I want to say I hope this wasn’t something the film-makers actively thought about, but it might be worse if they didn’t.  Naturally, this is also a version of the ‘people who have premarital sex must die’ trope from slasher movies, and the movie makes doubly sure we know this is Bad Behaviour by having Ally remark that the Kuma are forbidden from visiting ‘the Island of Love’ on the full moon.

The deaths of Sheena and Nameless Kuma Guy also begin a pattern that lasts almost the entire movie.  Even though we’re told, repeatedly, that Darth Gator wants to drive the white people out of his jungle, for the vast majority of the running time it’s the brown people who are getting chomped.  We’re told that twelve white missionaries came here years ago and Darth Gator ate all but one of them, who then became a crazy jungle man (not gonna lie, Father Jonathan was my favourite character and I wish we’d seen more of him).  We see Sheena, her boyfriend, and the boyfriend’s brother get eaten alive.  Furthermore, most of the white deaths in the movie are at the hands of the Kuma, who run in and kill the tourists with spears and fire arrows in the belief that they’re doing their god’s bidding, and much of this happens offscreen. Those hit by the arrows quickly fall into the water and vanish from sight.  The only time the camera lingers on a white person dying is Joshua, who I guess they think deserved it.  The impression one gets is that white death is a horror better implied than shown, while brown death is a spectacle.  Again… holy shit.

The River of the Giant Alligator can’t seem to decide what we’re supposed to think about the Kuma people.  Early in the film they’re portrayed as victims.  These foreigners have invaded their land and built this giant hotel, and claimed to be helping them by giving them ‘work’. Ally notes that they’ll be able to live longer, healthier lives, but Daniel wonders if it’s worth it when they’ve basically become Joshua’s slaves.  The movie leaves this question hanging there without exploring it any further. When Daniel and Ally come looking for information about the alligator attacks, the Kuma direct them to Father Jonathan, knowing they’re more likely to believe a white man, even one who’s obviously not quite all there.  The movie really wants to be about the exploitation of indigenous peoples, treated as decorations and curiosities by white tourists.

The problem is, it wants to eat that cake, too.  By the end of the story, the Kuma have devolved into stock savages.  They attack the hotel and kill everybody, and kidnap Ally so they can tie her to a horizontal King Kong contraption as a sacrifice. The ending just makes it all the more confusing, as they turn up to discover that their god has been blown to bloody chunks after biting into a van full of explosives, and they cheer and they just leave.  Is it really that easy to kill a god?  Won’t a dead god demand vengeance anyway?  Does this mean they actually like the white people after all, and were only angry because Darth Gator was eating them?

The ending also muddles the movie’s other point, about the nature of eco-tourism.  One of the selling points of Paradise House is that it’s in the middle of virgin jungle.  Joshua brags about how he’s left the surrounding ecosystem untouched – but then we cut straight to trees being cleared using dynamite, and later we see live piglets being thrown into the river to keep the crocodiles hanging around so people can gawk at them.  You can’t build a hotel in the middle of a place and then call it ‘virgin jungle’.  You’re the one who violated it!

The script is a little unclear on whether Darth Gator is a natural or supernatural threat.  Ally and Daniel insist that it’s no mere alligator (I don’t think this movie knows the difference between crocodiles and alligators any better than I do) and Father Jonathan seems to believe it’s the Devil Himself, but it certainly dies like a flesh-and-blood creature.  Whatever its nature, it’s clear enough that Darth Gator represents the jungle striking back at these intruders to drive them out.  The Kuma literally say as much.  So what are we to take from the fact that it dies at the end?  Have we won the right to destroy the forest by killing its guardian?  I don’t believe the people who make these movies think this stuff through.

I can tell that we’re supposed to hate the tourists, and we do, although not always for the reasons the movie wants us to. Minnow, the red-haired little girl who ‘only likes to play with boys’, tries so hard to be Adorable that you want to punt her across the room.  Her mother leaves her to wander around the hotel alone, because Mummy’s got a smarmy mustached boyfriend to bang (even this relationship gets more attention than Sheena and Unnamed Kuma Guy, by the way… we are told that Mummy and Mustache have met before, and are here mostly to see each other rather than the jungle).  Other notable annoyances include a lady who seems perfectly sane until she starts talking about the aliens, and a guy who loves to complain about Youth These Days and will seize any opportunity to do so.

I kinda wanna gripe about these obnoxious characters, but I don’t feel like I can.  You may recall that I spent a month stuck on a cruise ship earlier this year.  I can tell you definitively that these people do exist, and I hate them even more in real life.

Man, this could have been a fun monster movie.  I’ve seen movies about man-eating crocodiles (or alligators… does it honestly matter that much?) that I really enjoyed.  Primeval wasn’t even that bad – it was about how humans are more monstrous than anything nature can produce.  Lake Placid had that immortal bit where Betty White says if I had a dick, this is where I’d tell you to suck it.  The River of the Great Alligator is just boring bullshit and things that seem kinda racist on the surface but then you think about them a little longer and realize they’re incredibly racist.  I went into this one hoping to like it, but it absolutely pissed on the last shreds of my optimism... like a lot of other things in 2020.

[mickmarstookmyheart]

Family Tour

Trust Universe!

Pairing: Mick Mars X Reader

Summary: The whole Crüe family goes on tour along with Guns N Roses. (Y/N) has been hiding some secret and is about to explode.

"Babe, have you already packed the medicines in the bag?" Mick yelled from the bedroom.

"Yeah, it's in the side of the green one!" You yelled back from the kitchen.

"Mommy, when can I already eat?" Zoe asked sitting on the counter. She was licking the remaining chocolate from the bowl. She had chocolate all over her face but she didn't notice it.

"Hey, don't waste chocolate!" You said cleaning her cheeks and mouth with a wet towel. "Anyway, do you want to bring some cake for Neil and Elizabeth, too?"

"Yes, I will show them how good I can bake!" Zoe had a proud smile on her little face.

"Hmmm. What smells so good?" Mick asked approaching you and your daughter. He leaned on the counter with his back beside Zoe.

"Chocolate cake!" She yelled putting her hands in the air.

"Really? I love chocolate cake." Mick said. You smirked and looked in the oven to check it.

"Okay, it still needs some time so we can go back and finish packing some clothes for the tour if you want." You said while trying to take down your apron. Mick turned you around and helped you untie the knot. When he was ready he pressed a soft kiss on your shoulder.

"Ewww," Zoe said covering her eyes with her hands. Mick chuckled and you couldn't help but smile, too.

∆

"Neil, look!" Elizabeth yelled to his brother on the swing when you and Zoe arrived at the playground. When you let her hand go she ran to her friends while you took a seat beside Vince on the bench.

"How many times has Mick already complaint that he doesn't want to go on tour?" He asked smirking.

"Umm, one complain per hour normally. If he feels bad, two or three."

"That's quite good."

"Could be worse." You laughed.

"Mommy, mommy, can we have that cake?" Zoe asked running towards you and Vince along with Elizabeth and Neil.

"What kind of cake?" Vince raised an eyebrow.

"Chocolate!" Zoe yelled rubbing her belly.

"Zoe did it by herself so if you don't like it I wouldn't say it out loud." You said opening the box and handing one slice for everyone. The children went back to their usual spot while you and Vince just watched them play and live their lives.

"Can I have one, too?" John asked standing right behind your bench making you jump.

"Man, you scared the shit out of me! You could at least cough before you speak, damn." Vince snapped turning back to the man and glaring at him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to." He held his hands up in defense.

"I think I should go." Vince standing up from the bench. "If you need anything, I will be nearby." He winked and left while John sat down beside you.

"She has grown so much." John sighed looking at his daughter with pure love in his eyes. That was the only thing that made you sure he wasn't a monster. He was capable of love.

"Yeah." You admitted smiling at Zoe who was fighting with a stick with Neil.

"Anyway, why did you wanted to meet? What can't wait until Saturday?" He asked turning to you. You bit down your lip, you knew he would be mad. To be honest, you would be, too. You hated him, though he was the father of your daughter so he needed to know about this.

"You know, their new album came out a few months ago..."

"I know about that. So what?"

"They need to promote it. And Doc and I have already planned a whole tour for the guys. And not just in the US but overseas, too." You played with the box of the cake. You looked at John, who still didn't understand what this affect him. 

"So this means, that I had to follow the band since I'm the co-manager."

"Got it. So that means Zoe will stay with me the whole time?" John asked with high hopes. You took a deep breath and shook your head. The smile from John's face disappeared. "No. No way you are taking her with you! She is barely 5 years old!" Vince lift his head and glanced at you. He put Neil down from his shoulders and headed towards you fearing John might be do something he shouldn't.

"I know. And I completely understand that. But I need her. I am her mother and the full custody is mine."

"You don't need to remind me, I'm aware of that." He growled but he didn't shout. Luckily, those treatments were successful in some way.

"Is there a problem?" Vinnie asked crossing his arms, looking at John then at you.

"There is. She wants to take away my daughter." He spit.

"But not for the long-term! Just a tour." You murmured realizing the tour will last at least six months.

"How long?" John was desperate. The only positive thing in his life was Zoe and he didn't want to lose her.

"Six months." You admitted fearing his reaction. "The USA, Canada, and some in Japan."

"Japan? What the hell?" He placed his head in his palms.

"Look, man..." Vinnie said fully knowing the situation. He didn't see his children for half a year either. "If you really want to see her you can anytime. (Y/N) didn't prohibit for you to see her, just told you the situation." Vince surprised you. He was never fond of John but treating him like this was a new thing.

"Really?" John had tears in his eyes. You felt a bit of sympathy for him.

"Yes. And I think I can arrange a backstage pass, too so you can meet her there until Doc and I take care of things."

"That would be great. Thank you. And don't worry, I won't be present on the whole just once a week or less." John smiled.

"Luckily," Vince said making you chuckle.

∆

Now that you discussed everything with John, you didn't have to worry about him. Though, there were a few things that bothered you. First of all, Nikki and his new girlfriend, Vanity. You met her a few times during these get-togethers but you didn't like her face and her attitude. Not to mention the drugs. Nikki already had some problems and, bringing it back to his life made you angry. You didn't want her to ruin his life and the tour also.

There were some positive things. Heather also came along with Tommy so you would have some company. You and she had many things in common and she adored your daughter. Beth hesitated to let Neil and Elizabeth go with him, but you made sure nothing bad will happen and that you will treat them as Zoe so finally she gave in. This way, Zoe wouldn't be alone either.

You were sitting in the living room already with your luggage and were waiting for the tour bus to come.

"They said they will come at 9." Mick murmured looking at the clock which showed 10:30.

"I know. And I will give them a piece of my mind." You said cuddling closer to Mick sitting on the couch. You barely slept at night so you were quite exhausted.

"Babe. Babe, (Y/N). The bus is here." Mick said softly. You didn't even realize you drifted into sleep. You rubbed your eyes and sat up from Mick's lap.

"Daddy, daddy, Uncle Tommy, and Nikki are here!" Zoe said running towards Mick. She took the guitarist's hand and pulled him up from the couch. "Let's go and say hi to them. This bus looks so big."

"Alright, let's greet them, angel."

When you became aware of your existence you started to gather all the luggage and bring them closer to the door. Mick had some problems with his back recently and you didn't want him to struggle.

"Hey, (Y/N)! Why didn't you come to the bus and say hello? You are rude." Tommy said when he entered the house.

"Can you just shut up and help me?" You snapped trying to lift one of the bags.

"Good morning, (Y/N). Sorry for being late. We just had some issues with the bus but we are here and everything is okay." Doc appeared, too, and took the bag from your shoulder.

"No problem and thank you." You looked into every room in the house to check if everything was okay before locking the door and giving one last look at the house. Mick stepped behind you and placed his hands on your waist.

"Are you ready?" He asked kissing your shoulder.

"Yeah."

∆

"I can't believe they still aren't ready!" You sighed waiting in front of Vince's house. It was arranged two hours earlier.

"At least the kids have fun," Mick said looking at Neil, Elizabeth, and Zoe playing around in the garden with Tommy and Nikki. They played hide and seek, and Tommy was the one who needed to find the others. Well, he didn't manage to. You can see everything from the bus and occasionally laughed when he failed.

"Finally!" Doc sighed when Vince and Sharise appeared. When they got on the bus Vinnie waved at you.

"Hey!" He smirked when he placed himself on the one remaining place next to you on the couch.

"Trouble in paradise?" Mick asked noticing Sharise's facial expression who went to the back of the bus without saying hello to you. You hoped she will leave the tour within a week.

"You know, you didn't have to waste time having sex when you will be together on the whole fucking tour!" You ranted.

"Woah, someone needs to get laid," Vince added smiling, earning a hit from Mick after you got up and gathered the children.

∆

The route to the hotel was a bit calmer than you thought. Zoe and Mick were sleeping on the couch next to each other which melted your heart seeing them like this. Tommy and Nikki with Heather and Sharise were talking about Tommy's spinning cage, Vince and Sharise were in the back.

"I don't think they will be happy about this interview. Are you sure about it?" You asked Doc when you were discussing things about the tour.

"They don't like interviews at all. So this will be no different."

"Maybe Whitesnake could do that interview, no?" You asked Doc. "Or Guns N Roses?"

"Why not all the three of them?"

"Cause World War III would break out." You said with an odd look.

"Alright. Then GNR will give the interview and the boys will decide if they want it or not." Doc offered which you agreed with totally. "Now, enough of work. What's up?" Doc asked putting aside his papers and leaning back on the seat.

"Well, not much, Doc. Life goes on. The boys have a lot of fans so I don't think we will have a problem."

"I was asking about you, (Y/N). Not the boys." Doc said tilting his head.

"What should I say? Zoe, Mick and I are okay, we have a pretty good and adventurous life. I love my family and I love my job."

"Good to hear." You somehow relieved that Doc didn't ask more. "But I see something is bothering you. What is it? Is it John?" Damn, this man.

"You can be as annoying as the band sometimes, you know that, right? Hell yes. I can't get that man out of my head." You said. Mick woke up a couple of minutes ago and he heard every word you changed with Doc. He smiled when you mentioned him and your life but the slight smile faded when John was in the picture again. He hated that man with his whole heart for hurting you like this. "I-I keep seeing this picture in my head that whenever I'm not around Zoe he somehow tries to steal her from me." You were rubbing your arm with your other hand to comfort yourself. That man gave you a headache whenever you met him and all the bad memories came up. You tried to avoid him as you could but it was still hard to be around him.

"I see. Well, I could arrange someone, a guard to keep an eye on her and I'm sure the others willingly help you monitor her. Everyone loves her and they wouldn't let anything bad to happen to her." He placed his hand on your thigh and squeezed it. "I and I think everyone admires you, especially Mick, to let that bastard see your daughter frequently. Not many mothers would let that."

"Thanks, Doc. It means me a lot."

Maybe you were just going crazy for thinking that. He wouldn't kidnap Zoe, would he? If he did that, he would go to jail for a very long time so he wouldn't be able to see his daughter.

"Anytime, kid. Now, go and rest a bit until this madness begins."

∆

When you arrived at the hotel you and Doc headed to the receptionist to discuss the details and got the keys.

"Alright, Everyone!" You yelled when no one listened to you. You were beside the bus and everybody was dealing with their luggage. "Hey, listen! I have already told you that certain people will bring up the baggage, damn. Tommy, put that down!" You threatened the drummer who immediately dropped the bag down. "Thanks. So Heather this is yours, and Vinnie room 10 is yours with Sharise. Nikki, your room is just beside Heather's..."

"Yeah, man!" Nikki high-fived with his Terror Twin. Maybe it wasn't the best idea. After you handed out the keys and everyone went inside Mick approached you. Zoe went along with Neil and Elizabeth to look around. He stood in front of you and cupped your face.

"You are doing great." He pecked your lips and pulled you in a hug. He was rubbing your back while you rested your chin on his shoulder. "You are the best co-manager we could get." You can't help but smile.

"I'm trying my best, but I'm afraid Tommy, Vince, and Nikki won't be so helpful." Mick chuckled.

"I will help you make them listen to you," Mick promised, taking your hand and walking in the hotel. It wasn't a five-star hotel but it was decent and nice. Decent until Mötley Crüe arrived. At the reception, you already apologized for the trouble so you hoped they will handle things easier.

"Mommy, look there are a playground and a pool, too." Zoe cheered. She ran to you and you picked her up and let her show you the mentioned places.

"Oh, wow. Now you can play as much as you want, honey."

"I want to play with you, mommy!" She hugged you tightly.

"I know, Zoe but there are a few other things I need to take care of. I need to give the keys to Axl, Slash, Steven, Duff, and Izzy, too. As I heard they have just arrived." You sighed seeing your daughter pouting.

"Alright, but be sure they will be around soon so I could play with Steven!" She said while you put down her.

"I promise." You places a soft kiss on her cheek and headed back to the entrance of the hotel. Mick hummed watching you go before taking Zoe's hand and letting her pull him closer to the playground.

When you arrived at the bus the band were already talking next to the bus. They were much quieter than the Crüe and immediately looked at you when you greeted them.

"Sorry, (Y/N) for being behind a bit. Steven had some problems with the journey and we had to stop a lot." Izzy apologized.

"We arrived not too long ago so no problem. And are you okay now, Steven?" You looked at the drummer who was still pale.

"Yeah. Well, better than before." Slash patter his back to lighten him up. "This isn't helping, Slash."

"You still have two days before the concerts so you can recover until then. There are many possibilities to leisure here, I have already looked around."

"It's quite a big hotel. What if I get lost?" Steven asked.

"Don't worry, Popcorn. We will keep an eye on you." Duff said with a smirk.

"Anyway, (Y/N), would you be so kind and give us a tour of the hotel?" Axl asked. You weren't used to this kind manner with the other band. Alright, sometimes they could be knights, too.

"Of course. Oh, and Zoe wanted to make sure that you will greet and play with her. She mentioned that she wants to play with you, Steven but don't worry I will tell her that you aren't feeling well." You winked and handed out the keys to their rooms.

"Steven!" Zoe rushed to the drummer but you stopped her before she could jump on him.

"Zoe, not so fast. He isn't too well so be gentle, alright? Don't play Slave and Queen with him. The Slave can be played by anyone else, except Mick and him." You smirked glancing at the band.

"Alright, then I will escort him into his room and take care of him." She took the drummer's hand and headed to Steven's room.

"I can wait until she will be 18," Axl said. You hit him in the arm glaring at him. "Just kidding. No need to kill me."

"You deserved it, man," Slash said making you laugh. Mick was watching you with a jealous look. You always looked so happy with them and rarely with the Crüe. He stood up from the bench and approached you.

"Hey, Mick." Duff greeted the guitarist.

"Hey, man." He muttered. Slash and Axl nodded to him as a greeting while Mick shook hands with Izzy. Izzy was the only one who he kinda liked. "Sorry guys, but I need to steal (Y/N)." You made a face not understanding his problem. After you said goodbye, Mick was literally dragging you towards the lift.

"What is wrong with you?" You asked freeing your arm from his grip. "Mick, why are you acting like this?"

"Not here." He could only say this. You huffed but stepped in the elevator next to him but tried to stand as far as possible. You didn't like him when he was this angry and overwhelming. You opened the door and happily saw your luggage has already been brought up.

"So, what is it?" You asked crossing your arms. Mick counted to ten not to say something he might regret.

"Why can't you just relax? And be with us? Zoe and me?"

"I'm sorry?"

"At the moment you heard the guys arrived you dropped down Zoe and rushed to them. Whereas they could wait a bit and I can't see why Doc couldn't greet them."

"Are you jealous or what? Cause I don't see your reason for that."

"What? No! I'm just angry that why aren't you honest with me. Why are you locking up things in yourself whereas I'm your husband, no?"

"I don't understand a word." Why can't he and Doc leave you alone and let you do your job?

"I heard your talk with Doc on the bus." He stepped closer and took your hand into his. "Why didn't you tell me that John is bothering you? I could've talked to him not to come or I don't know."

"You don't understand it. I can't reject him seeing his daughter. I don't have the right."

"But you have it, (Y/N)! You have the full custody for fuck's sake!" He was gripping your hand way too harsh now. "Why can't you let that person just disappear from your life? He hurt you so much and you still let him do that. I think we could discuss it with Zoe. She is so smart and I'm sure she would understand it." Mick said softly. He rested his forehead on yours while rubbing your arms. You felt the tears running down your cheek which Mick noticed and wiped them away with his thumb. You closed your eyes and took a shaky breath.

"I know. It's just so hard." You whimpered.

"But I'm here for you, (Y/N)! You are my wife and I would do anything for you. Even it includes killing."

"Mick!"

"Alrighty, no killing. But I support you in everything and you can tell me whatever is going on in your pretty head. Sometimes I wish I could just go back in time and do things from the beginning. From the very beginning."To be continued...

∆

Next Part

Tags: @leatherandheels @littlemisscare-all @karrotkate ❤️

[lets-talk-appella]

The Trouble with Prom Movies

Bechloe Week 2019: High School

Summary: Beca hates everything about prom. That is, everything except the prom queen. 

For @rejection-isnt-failure, who asked for a dialogue prompt like this SEVERAL months ago. Sorry it took me so long, fam.

Word Count: 2.5k

Rating: T

AO3 and FFN

“I really hate you for this.”

“You love me.”

“Um, no. Guess again.”

“Aren’t you having fun?”

“Pouring lemon juice on an open wound would be more fun and less painful,” Beca deadpanned.

Jesse frowned down at her. “Hey, don’t be mean.”

Beca rolled her eyes but tried to contain her bad mood. “Sorry, I know, senior prom, we gotta enjoy.”

Jesse had some ridiculous movie-based fantasy about their senior prom, and how they just had to go together because “Can you even say you were in high school if you didn’t go to senior prom?” Which was completely ridiculous, because of course high school revolved around much more than just a senior prom. But, still, he was her best friend and she knew how much movies (and, therefore, every teen ritual enclosed in such movies) meant to him, so there they were. At prom. Beca’s worst nightmare, basically.

“Exactly,” Jesse said triumphantly, then winced. “Can you stop stepping on my feet?”

Beca muttered an apology under her breath. It wasn’t her fault that heels were both uncomfortable to walk and dance in.

She and Jesse revolved on the spot, dancing with one another awkwardly in the middle of an overcrowded gymnasium. Yep, rather than shelling out for a nice prom venue, their school had enough in the budget to host prom in the gym. Not that Beca really cared where prom was held, but it was stiflingly warm, packed with hundreds of almost-adults dancing badly in their fancy prom clothes. Streamers hung on the walls, and a poorly-done cardboard reproduction of the Eiffel Tower stood in the corner, wrapped in white lights, a constant reminder of the cliché Paris theme. An arch swooped over the main entrance of the gym, next to which stood a somewhat decent photo area with a backdrop of Paris that the art kids had painted.

Overall, Beca had to admit it wasn’t bad, but still. It was prom. And she had to wear a black dress that she kind of hated in order to match Jesse’s black tux.

And she couldn’t stop her eyes from wandering to that familiar red hair, which, even from halfway across the gym, stood out clearly from the crowd. Chloe wore her Prom Queen’s crown as she danced gracefully with her Prom King, Chicago. Because of course the Golden Couple would win Prom King and Queen; she was the cheerleading captain and he was the quarterback.

It was gross and predictable and Beca really wished it didn’t bother her as much as it did.

But she had AP Biology with Chloe and had talked with her a few times, and, well, Beca has eyes. So seeing Chloe with Chicago—instead of, say, with her—bothered her a lot.

“Sorry, Beca,” Jesse muttered, following her line of sight.

Beca sighed. She’d told Jesse all about Chloe (only after he badgered her endlessly for the details). “This blows.”

Jesse nodded understandingly. “As your lesbro, I truly apologize.”

“Yeah, well, since neither of us could go with who we really want…” Beca shrugged.

Jesse’s expression clouded and he looked over Beca’s shoulder, where she knew Aubrey Posen and her date danced.

“You two don’t have a lot in common, you know?” Beca asked, bringing Jesse’s attention back on her. “She’s, like, the entire prom committee.”

Dancing this close to Jesse, she could see the way his eyebrows drew together just slightly. “Oh yeah?” he asked. “Like you and Chloe have anything in common.”

Well, he got her there.

“Whatever,” she grumbled.

“Good comeback,” he smiled, and carefully guided her into a dip just as the slow song ended. Maybe it should have been weird dancing with Jesse to a slow song, but it really wasn’t. They’d known each other since they were kids living next door to each other; they’d been in worse situations.

(Thankfully, Beca had realized she was gay before Jesse had tried to take her on any awkward dates, so they’d avoided that, at least.)

When Jesse pulled her back upright, she dropped her arms from around his shoulders and stepped away. “Okay dude, I’m gonna go get some punch. Hopefully someone bothered to spike it with—”

She cut off abruptly, spotting something that made her stomach clench.

“Uh, Earth to Beca?” Jesse called, waving his hand in front of her face.

She batted his arm down with an impatient sound. “Dude, look.”

“What?” Jesse asked, craning his neck to look around the gym. “Are Amy and Bumper making out again? Because I just ate dinner before this and—”

“No! Gross! I think Chloe and Chicago are fighting,” Beca said, trying to point subtly in their direction. “Be cool.”

“What?” he whipped around and stared, most definitely not subtly.

“Jesse!”

“Oooh, trouble in paradise for the happy couple,” Jesse said as they watched Chloe and Chicago, who were clearly engaged in a heated argument. Chloe stood back from him, leaning forward and pointing a manicured nail at his chest as she ranted, her expression angry. He only glared back at her.

“She looks upset,” Beca said, concerned. She wished she could hear the argument, but they were too far away and the music (who picked Katy Perry?) was too loud.

Jesse shrugged. “Maybe she’s mad because he didn’t get her a corsage to match the dress.”

“Shut up,” Beca hissed, not looking away from Chloe for a second. “Oh shit, look…”

Chloe had whirled on the spot, her light blue dress fluttering and billowing with the motion. She stormed away from Chicago, pushed her way through the throng of students, and made her way under the archway and out of the gym. Chicago only glared after her, then turned to make his way to the punch.

When Beca glanced over, Jesse was already watching her.

It was probably a bad idea. She and Chloe only sort of knew each other, and her crush would be better kept in check instead of fed, but no one else seemed to have noticed the fight, and no one was bothering to check on Chloe, so...

“Should I…?”

“Go!” Jesse urged, waving her away. “Ain’t nothing gonna stop my girl!”

Beca was already moving toward the exit. “Not your girl!” she called over her shoulder, weaving through the crowd.

“Look at my girl!” Jesse shouted as Beca ducked (unnecessarily) under the arch leaving the gym.

Outside the gym, Beca looked around frantically, head swiveling in search of one beautiful redhead with a blue dress. Chloe could have gone anywhere; the library, the bathroom, the auditorium… or simply outside to the front of the school. Beca saw her, illuminated by the exterior building lights, standing on the other side of the glass doors of the main entrance.

Pausing only to grab her leather jacket from coat-check (the sophomore boy running it looked like a little kid and still tried to hit on her), Beca followed Chloe and went outside.

It was chilly for a night in April, especially compared to the heatwave that was the gym. Thankfully, Chloe hadn’t gotten far and was sitting on the main stairs leading up to the building’s entrance, her back to Beca as she looked over the main parking lot.

Abruptly, Beca felt awkward. This wasn’t really her place. She barely knew Chloe. She should probably have just gone back inside, because clearly, Chloe wanted to be left alone.

But...

Beca walked forward, offering Chloe a small smile when she looked over her shoulder at the sound of her approach. “Can I join you?” she asked when she got closer.

Chloe only hesitated for a second before nodding, and Beca took that as a good sign. Being careful of her dress, she perched herself on the step next to Chloe, noticing with some concern that Chloe was shivering; she hadn’t remembered to bring a coat.

“You cold?” Beca asked, then immediately wanted to sink into the steps and disappear. That’s why she was shivering, duh.

“I’m good,” Chloe shrugged, not looking at her.

“Oookayyy,” Beca drew out, feeling more awkward by the second. “So… prom not going well?”

Chloe huffed a little laugh, but Beca knew it wasn’t because what she’d said was funny. “No, not really,” Chloe muttered, drawing her knees up to her chest and staring out over the parking lot. “He’s kind of a dick.”

Beca wanted to roll her eyes but managed to refrain despite the annoyance flaring in her chest. “Then why do you date him?”

Chloe looked over at her, resting her cheek on her knees so that she was folded into a little ball. Beca couldn’t help noticing how beautiful Chloe looked, her hair in an elegant up-do that would have taken Beca hours and no small amount of swearing to achieve.

“I don’t,” Chloe said flatly. “Everyone just thinks we’re together ‘cuz it’s what happens in the movies.”

“Oh.” Beca suddenly felt foolish. And she felt a little happier, because that raised her opinion of Chloe, like, a lot.

And she kind of wanted to smack Jesse upside the head. Stupid movies.

Chloe smiled a little sadly, then shivered again. She rubbed her hands up and down her arms, trying to warm herself up a little, and Beca had to resist the urge to offer to do that for her. That would probably be super weird of her.

So, instead, Beca said, “Here, take my jacket.”

“I told you I’m not cold,” Chloe managed, just in time for another violent shiver to rip through her body.

Beca quirked an eyebrow.

“Fine,” Chloe huffed, reaching for Beca’s leather jacket and draping it over her shoulders. “Thank you,” she said with good grace.

“‘Course,” Beca replied awkwardly, trying to ignore how cold she was now.

Chloe tilted her head, looking at her strangely. “Where’s Jesse? Isn’t he your date?”

“Dude, no way!” Beca burst out. Honestly, she was surprised that Chloe even knew Jesse’s name, much less thought they were together. “He’s just my friend.”

“Oh,” Chloe said, frowning a little.

Beca shifted uncomfortably on the steps, looking away from Chloe and down at her own hands. “Besides, I… I play for the other team, you know?”

She didn’t know what compelled her to come out like this. It was the first time she’d said it to anyone other than her group of friends, and her stomach fluttered with butterflies.

She risked looking back over at Chloe, who looked surprised and had a strange expression on her face.

“Is that a problem?” Beca asked, a little more defensively than she’d intended.

“Not at all,” Chloe breathed, her eyes widening in assurance. “In fact, I—”

“Chloe!”

Beca nearly tumbled down the steps, as startled as she was by Chicago’s harsh voice. As it was, she twisted around to look at him so quickly her neck cracked.

Chloe sighed deeply and rose from the steps, turning slowly to face him. Beca scrambled to her feet as well, struggling a little in her heels.

“What are you doing out here?” Chicago spat, glaring at Chloe. “And what’s that ugly thing you’re wearing?”

“If you mean my jacket—” Beca started angrily, then stopped as soon as Chicago’s dark eyes seared into her. She wasn’t scared of him, exactly, but he was taller than her and a lot bigger. She hesitated.

Just then, one of the main doors burst open again and Jesse came tumbling outside, eyes wild. Relief shone in his face when he saw Beca, only for him to tense when he realized Chicago was between him and her. It made Beca feel better, having him here, but she didn’t want him to get hurt.

“Go away, weirdo. This isn’t any of your business,” Chicago said, glancing back at him before looking at Chloe again. “I asked what you’re doing.”

“I’m getting away from you,” Chloe fired back angrily.

“What?” Chicago’s eyes narrowed.

“You’ve been acting like a pig all night.”

“Oh, ‘cuz… ‘cuz of what I said back there?” Chicago stepped closer, his voice turning soft. His eyes flicked to Beca and away, as if he was hoping she’d go away. “Come on, babe… it’s prom night.”

Chloe stilled dangerously. Beca wasn’t sure she was even breathing.

Chicago shrugged, putting on what he probably thought was a winning smile. “Don’t you wanna… you know… for prom? It’s prom, babe. We gotta. Come back to my house and I can show you—”

Chloe stepped back, her face filled with disgust. “I’ve never wanted anything less in my entire life. Get away from me.”

Chicago’s face contorted into an ugly glare. “You little… you’re gonna regret that.”

He moved toward Chloe, and both Beca and Jesse lunged for him; Chloe got there first. She slapped him across the face so hard that the noise of it echoed around them. Chicago staggered backward, groaning and clutching his cheek.

Beca could only stare at Chloe, beyond impressed.

But Chloe wasn't done. “Stay away from me,” she said, her voice deathly cold. “I mean it.”

With one more glare at her, his cheek flaming red from her slap, Chicago stomped away, headed for the football field to nurse his shattered pride.

“Yeah, go kick a football or something!” Jesse shouted after him. Beca rolled her eyes.

Chloe was still standing ramrod straight, staring in the direction Chicago had disappeared in. Beca tentatively moved closer to her.

“That was pretty badass,” she said, bringing Chloe’s attention to her. “Your hand okay?”

Chloe looked down at her palm as if she’d forgotten what she’d done. “Yeah, it’s fine.”

“Good,” Beca breathed, then shifted her weight. “So, uh, you were saying something. Earlier,” she added when Chloe looked confused.

Chloe’s expression cleared. “Oh, um, right,” she muttered, glancing toward Jesse.

Thankfully, Jesse got the hint; with an extremely not-subtle thumbs up to Beca, he turned and went back inside.

“Sorry about him,” Beca felt the need to apologize. “He’s seen too many movies.”

The ghost of a smile played around Chloe’s lips. “It’s okay. Um, I was gonna say… well, would you wanna, maybe, study together sometime?”

Beca blinked. As far as she knew, Chloe was a straight-A student. “For bio?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“But aren’t you, like, really good at that? Do you need a tutor? Because I’m really not—”

“Beca.”

“—good at biology at all, I’m only taking the AP class because—”

“Beca!” Chloe laughed, putting her hands up. “I’m trying to ask you on a date,” she said softly, shaking her head with what Beca really, really hoped was affection and not pity for her obtuseness.

“Oh!” Beca said. “Oh, you mean, like—with me.”

“Yes, with you. A study… date. Thing. A date,” Chloe finished, her cheeks turning a little pink.

Beca wanted to cheer, or maybe run back into the prom and shout to everyone: “Chloe Beale asked me out! Take that, losers!” But that would be immature and would probably make Chloe change her mind. So she took a deep breath. “I—yeah! Definitely! Let’s do it. That would be cool.”

“Totes. Um, I’ll text you?”

“Sure, let me get my…” Beca trailed off, realizing her phone is in her jacket pocket. The jacket that Chloe still had draped over her.

“I got it,” Chloe said, pulling her phone out of a dress pocket and wiggling her eyebrows. “My dress has pockets,” she said unnecessarily, handing the phone to Beca.

Beca didn’t know what to say to that, so instead she punched her number into Chloe’s phone and handed it back. “Do you wanna, maybe… go dance inside?” she asked, drawing courage from deep within.

“Definitely,” Chloe smiled, and Beca wanted to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

They walked back into the school, dropping Beca’s jacket at coat-check again before re-entering the sweltering gym. Beca looked around for Jesse, so she could explain why he no longer has a dance partner.

“He’s there,” Chloe said, pointing to a corner, where Jesse and—Beca did a double-take—Aubrey were dancing together slowly.

Beca couldn’t contain the smile that broke over her face, and she led Chloe onto the dance floor.

Hmm. Maybe there’s something to movie-type endings after all.

[camillemontespan]

unfiltered [drake walker interview/his POV]

@jovialyouthmusic​ @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore​ @pug-bitch​ @sirbeepsalot​ @emichelle​ @dcbbw​ @katedrakeohd​ @burnsoslow​ @ibldw-main​ @moonlightgem7​ @gardeningourmet​ @saivilo​ @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld​ @pedudley​ @notoriouscs​ @mskaneko​ @sawyeroakleyscowboyhat​ @sawyer0akleyscowboyhat​

                  ***************************************************

In total honesty, I said that I would never be interviewed by Duke Magazine again. A few months ago, I was interviewed by one of the their journalists who proceeded to insult me, make derogatory comments about my wife and generally just made me feel incredibly uncomfortable.

I walked out of the interview.

Bad idea? Probably. The following article was negative. But after speaking to my wife, who encouraged me to ride through it, I felt proud that I stood up for my family.

I swore I wouldn't appear in a page of Duke Magazine again. So what changed?

The editor, who I actually respect, contacted me to ask if I wanted to write my own piece. 'Write about you,' Matthew said. 'Write honestly. Show yourself to the world as you want to be seen.'

So here we go. I'm sat in my study, my daughter Lily is playing on the floor as she keeps me company, and I have an empty word document on my laptop ready to be written.

This is me. Unfiltered, unedited, me.

The Restraining Order

I guess I should start by writing about the restraining order I obtained against the paparazzi. This is, to date, the most controversial thing I have done during my occupation as the Duke of Valtoria.

I can't believe it's even seen as controversial so I'm going to explain why I did it. Maybe then the critics can finally agree that I did the right thing.

Everyone knows I'm a family man. I want to keep my wife and children safe and this was under threat one year ago.

Camille was being stalked on a daily basis. Photographers would chase after her on the street and surround her car, which understandably terrified her. Camille always tries to put a brave face on things but I often saw the exhausted look on her face. I would offer to do something but she would shrug and say, 'This comes with the territory of being a Duke and Duchess.'

I went along with that until one day, a photographer took a picture of my five year old in the school playground and that was it for me.

To actively stalk a five year old child - hell, any child - is disgusting.

We always said we would raise our kids to have normal upbringings. Yes, they experience privilege on another level but we make sure that Lily is brought up to see everyone as equals. We want her to have a normal childhood.

When her face was plastered on the front page of the Cordonian Herald, she looked at it and asked, 'Daddy, why am I on the newspaper?'

Damn right I called the newspaper and demanded that circulation of that issue stop. They laughed and said there was no point, it was already out. So, I went one better and contacted the best lawyer in Cordonia.

There was outrage. The paparazzi argued that as we are public figures, we should expect to be photographed.

Two words for that: fuck you.

We may be public figures but we did not sign up to be stalked. My daughters did not come into this world asking for that kind of attention. We are the best Duke and Duchess we can be, in regards to charities and making a difference. We work fucking hard. Despite that, we are not duty bound to let photographers take our pictures, especially when its through the railings of my daughter's school playground. I refuse to even entertain the idea that Lily should be forced to have her picture taken because of who her parents are. She's a kid.

I've had criticism from people who ask why we still take part in magazine interviews yet have a restraining order against the paparazzi. I can see why it can be misleading but genuinely, we only take part in interviews if we have something to promote, like my mental health charity Mind Over Matter. My children will never grace the pages of Duke, Trend, Vogue or any other magazine because that's not the life I want for them. Simple.

Does it seem like I'm ranting to you? Sorry. This subject just gets me really riled up. I would delete everything I have just written but as I said at the start, this is me unedited and unfiltered. If you don't want to read anymore, by all means, turn the page.

I never said I was polite.

Ugh okay, sorry again. My wife would say that this was me being sassy. Mr Sassy Pants. That's one nickname she calls me. Along with Marshmallow.. We'll unpack all that later.

Camille

I get a shit ton of questions about my wife. I get it, she’s gorgeous, who wouldn’t want to know about her, right? 

We’ve had our fair share of tabloid articles hinting at our ‘marriage being on the rocks’ or ‘trouble in paradise.’ Listen, don’t believe everything you read (apart from this piece obviously). 

Camille and I have had our challenges in the past but what married couple hasn’t? Through it all, we’re a team. We’re Drake and Camille.

Asking her to marry me remains the best decision I ever made. In the Drake Walker Hall of Fame, that will go down in history. I proposed with my grandmother’s ring which is this beautiful blue square topaz. Grammy always told me to keep it for the right girl. ‘The right girl,’ she would tell me, ‘is the one who makes you forget all of those girls that came before her. She will light up your life and make you see how amazing life would be by her side.’ 

She was so fucking right.

Apologies if you think I swear too much by the way. I’m trying to kerb it - I really am, my daughters are like sponges and repeat everything we say. I have a swear jar and more euro than I’d like to admit goes into it..

I asked Camille to marry me because she made me feel all of those things. I used to be the loner at court; the nobody. I stayed in the shadows and hated my life. All I wanted was for someone to see me. The real Drake Walker. I wanted someone to look at me and want to get to know me. 

Camille is the only woman who has done this.

I’m so proud of her. I think that’s a big deal, you know? You gotta feel proud of your partner. The way she learned about the nobility and Cordonia in such a short time is incredible. Looking at her now, when she’s so practiced at her speeches and so good with meeting the public, you wouldn’t think she was born a commoner. She has transcended all expectations. 

I’m also proud of her as a mom. She’s such a good mom! Camille has always wanted a family and seeing her with our girls makes me heart feel full. I watch her play with them, help Lily with homework and read them stories and I just count my lucky stars. I don’t know what I did in a previous life to have this amazing partner but I won’t question it. As I said, I just count my lucky stars.

Lily and Luna

My girls. They may have both inherited their mother’s looks but damn it, they got my smirk. 

Lily is five. She is the most colourful character and she’s mine. She is so girly. She often plays dress up and we watch her totter around the house in Camille’s high heels while carrying Camille’s handbag, shouting that she is going out for brunch. She is always laughing and she is a perfectionist; I’ve never met a kid her age who stays inside the lines when colouring in. 

She is loving, so loving. When we told her she was going to have a little sister, at first she wasn’t happy. Ohh boy. I think she was scared she would lose us as parents to this new human and I made it my mission to help her see that having a sister wasn’t going to take us away from her. I told her that they could be a little team. Afterwards, Lily sat up beside Camille and rested her head on the baby bump, waiting for kicks. When the baby kicked, Lily was delighted. That’s the thing - you got to talk to your kids like they’re people. Don’t treat them like they won’t understand. I sat her down and talked to her about something serious and she listened and understood. 

Now, she dotes on her baby sister. She always asks if she’s had enough milk. She will sit Luna on her lap while they watch Peppa Pig. Seeing her flourish in this role has been a joy to watch. I just hope that when they’re older they’ll keep being friends. I don’t think I could handle teenage screaming and doors slamming. Shudder. That’s something for Future Drake to worry about. Heh, sorry man.

Luna is one. She’s incredibly quiet, which at first was alarming as we were so used to Lily screaming non-stop as a baby, but when we thought about it, we were like: Having a quiet baby is the fucking best! 

She is so observant, constantly looking around with her big brown eyes. I always wish I could see what’s going on inside her head. What are you thinking about, baby girl?

Family Man

Duke may be my official title and job but really, husband and father is the role I love and put above everything else. I guess it’s still a novelty to me? I never imagined myself ever having a family of my own. I assumed I would die alone. I’m Chandler Bing from Friends: ‘I’M GONNA DIE ALONE!’ 

But I didn’t, clearly. So I think that constantly trying to keep my girls happy is just me loving our little unit. I never saw myself getting married and having babies, so I just stay in the moment, enjoying it. 

I take them on camping trips. I taught Lily how to make s’mores which she declared to be the best food she has ever tasted. I taught Camille how to pitch a tent (she’s a city girl, I had to keep reminding myself that). We’re yet to go camping with Luna but I figure wait a few years until it’s just easy. Baby steps.

One of my favourite things to do is take part in Lily’s tea parties. She puts a pink plastic tiara on my head and I sit down on the floor with my knees pulled up to my chest at her tiny tea table. If we’re pushing the boat out, we have actual chocolate milk in the tea cups.   Lily is a hostess like her mom. This is just training for when she holds dinner parties when she’s older and I hope I still get an invite. 

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a marshmallow when it comes to my family. I know I come across a little grumpy to some people, but seriously, get to know me and I’m a bit of a softie. I love a dad joke (‘I must ask you a question but I shall shave it for later!’) and I do enjoy a romcom sometimes but Jesus, don’t tell Camille or she will constantly be forcing me to watch How To Lose A Guy in Ten Days. 

I’m the classic example of don’t judge a book by its cover. That’s the reason why I’m writing this piece. 

Mind Over Matter

Mind Over Matter started as my mental health campaign which aimed to promote men’s mental health. I wanted to tackle toxic masculinity and I became the figurehead of the campaign. I suffered from depression growing up, as a consequence of my father dying and both my mom and sister leaving without warning. I felt worthless. 

I even felt worthless when I became a Duke. Even though I was married to the most incredible woman and I had this new job, I felt like I didn’t deserve any of it. I doubted myself all the time. I constantly worried I was going to be found out. 

I drank to numb the crippling anxiety. 

Camille stuck with me throughout. She tried so hard to show that I was loved and that I was worthy of this life. 

Eventually, I got help for my drinking. I go to AA meetings once a week in a bid to keep on the straight and narrow. My family keeps me motivated. But I realised that if, this guy with an amazing family and job, could feel worthless, how many more guys are out there who feel the same?

So I started MOM to make a difference. Me, my fellow nobles and men from all over Cordonia meet once a month to take part in outdoor activities like hiking, abseiling, kayaking etc. While we do all this stuff, we talk openly. We talk about our fears and our worries then we get ready to abseil down a cliff. It forces you to place your initial fears in a box, unpack it then jump off the edge.  It’s mind over matter. That’s the whole point.  

We Vlog our activities so anyone can watch what we’re doing and donate to mental health organisations. Now, MOM is a registered charity too, which is crazy, so all proceeds go on to make it a bigger thing. I want it to be the main mental health charity for Cordonia.

Did I ever imagine its success? No. But I’m so fucking proud of what MOM - what I, actually- have accomplished. 

Friends

Magazines like to say that me and King Liam are no longer friends. Bullshit. We are. We just aren’t seen together as much because we’ve both got our own things going on. He’s the fucking King. I’m sorry but if I’m constantly wondering why he’s too busy to respond to my text message, then I need to get a grip. But I don’t do that because I’m his friend and we understand that no matter how much distance we have, everything will be exactly as it was when we next see each other.

I’m really good friends with Liam’s older brother, Leo. You wouldn’t think we would be because we’re so different but he’s a good guy. He’s fun and he has been a huge supporter of Mind Over Matter. Outdoor activities are already his jam so the fact that one of his friends was trying to make a difference made him really get behind it. Hiking with Leo cemented our friendship. 

Leo goes out with Olivia Nevrakis. She is my kid’s godmother and despite how it looks on my Instagram, Olivia and I do get on! Best way to describe it is we have that kind of friendship where you act like you really want to stab each other but if one of you killed someone, the other would be there with a shovel saying, ‘Right, where do you want the body?’

Not that Olivia or I have ever killed someone. I mean, I know I haven’t but Olivia is known to love her daggers so I wouldn’t put it past her. LOVE YOU, LIV!

Future Plans

I’m content with having two children for now but hey, maybe in the future.. Never say never. 

I plan on taking my girls to Texas to see my mom for Christmas. We usually spend all summer in Texas but this year, I’m hoping for an American Christmas. It’s just not the same in Cordonia. We’ve got our little traditions here but it would be nice to make some new ones with my mom. 

Camille is going to be promoting a rehabilitation centre for addicts in the city centre next month and I will be supporting her the whole time. I’m her biggest cheerleader and she’s mine. This won’t be any different. 

I’m excited. I have never felt so content before. A lot can happen in five years. Here’s to the next five. I’ll raise a glass of whiskey to future moments and welcome them with open arms. 

This was me, unedited, unfiltered. I hope I didn’t bore you to tears or make you realise that I’m an asshole who swears too much. Sorry about that. I’ll pop a euro in the swear for ya. But by writing this piece, I hope I’ve shed light on who I actually am, not what some journalist with an agenda thinks of me. I’m not the best guy in the world and I will never claim to be. But I’m human and everyone has their own flaws. The best we can do is just work on them and be proud of who we are, no matter what. 

Got to submit this now. Lily’s getting restless which means endless episodes of Peppa Pig now. You know what? This makes me happy.

[angrylizardjacket]

Run to Paradise {Nikki Sixx} Part 31

31. told you not to worry (but maybe that’s a lie)

Summary: lola starts taking her job seriously, but its hard to be mostly sober around the band now.

Warnings: angsty as shit, blink and you'll miss it sensuality but no smut, and happy pride, that's not a warning, that's just a little note!

ragtag bunch of misfits: @starlalove @toofasttofallinlove @xrosegoldwolfx @obsessivesky @lovehelpmewrite @marvelismylifffe @lilytalebi @glitterdreamsz @freddiessmallnipples @crazysaladchopshop @dramatique-moi @calspixie @aryssav @catsoo12 @sweetshutter @silvertonguedserpent @shamelessobsessions @lavenderbones22 @keepcalm-and-beyou @scarecrowmax @nicholeh7 @unknownoblivion @sighsophiia @fruitinthebottom @misscharlottelee @local-troubled-writer  @redlipscrystalskies14 @kaitieskidmore1 @the-specific-oceans

{ MASTERLIST }

Touring is a new and special kind of hell now that she's actually trying to be good at her job and not sleep with most of the band.

It was actually rather nice to reconnect with them in a way she hadn't been able to, with Vince and Tommy and even Mick; for all she'd been around them, the tour was the first time she could convincingly call them good friends. Now more than ever was she fulfilling her role as the band's assistant, and more importantly, as their wrangler.

"Nikki needs to be onstage in three minutes!" Doc shouts through the door of his dressing room, and Lola calls back that he'll be there, despite the fact that he's busy hurling into the toilet, and she's holding back his hair.

And of course, he'll be there, on time, puke free for the most part, and Lola's taking the first song to breathe for the first time since getting to the venue. And she finds one of Nikki's syringes in his bag, and takes the edge off before she has to be side-of-stage herself.

She makes a point of spending time with Tommy, and more often than not, she's the one handcuffing him to the bed at the end of the night; unfortunately it's at Doc's insistence, after Tommy goes out of control in the early hours before dawn.

Tommy, who will absolutely not remember this the next morning, fixes Lola with a blurry, vaguely lustful stare as she affixes his wrist to the bedpost.

"This feels familiar," he laughs, blind drunk, giving the handcuff a rattle for good measure.

Behave, Lola reminds herself, and she steps off of the bed as he makes grabby hands at her.

"Stay, Lols, please stay," he whines, and Lola swallows hard, smiling despite how her heart was beginning to ache under the effects of his puppy-dog eyes, "I've missed you." And that hurts like a physical ache.

"You're engaged," she reminds him gently, and Tommy's pleading gaze immediately turns blissfully fond as he remembers Heather waiting for him back home.

"I'm engaged," he repeats back, almost dreamily, "I think this one's gonna stick." He tells Lola with as much earnestness as he can manage. Lola's smile starts to crack.

"I'm happy for you, drummer boy," she tells him gently, patting his shin, and Tommy sighs happily.

"You won't tell her about the- the groupies, right? The girls backstage?" He asks, suddenly worried, and Lola sighs deeply. "They- Heather's so perfect, Lols, she's so sweet, and so fucking hot." He all but groans, shifting his hips in a drunken, horny stupor, "if I could have her backstage after every show, I would, I would in a heartbeat, Lols, I just- I don't, and I'm weak, you know I'm so weak." He whines, and Lola has to remind herself that his happiness is what was most important, that she's being selfish for feeling hurt. She tries to smile a little wider.

"You and Nikki," Tommy starts, but his expression falls, and it's like he sees her again, sees how hard she's trying, "you guys," his voice is so gentle, "we were so lucky." He muses, and she's not quite sure if he even realised his mistake, "having each other all the time? So lucky." He says with a faint, surprisingly warm smile.

Lola can't help herself.

"We were so lucky." She agrees, and it's all she can do to leave.

As a stark contrast, Vince hates being sober, especially with the rest of the band practically black out drunk from the moment they wake up, but with Lola at the very least not drinking, they take to partying together rather frequently. But Lola watches with growing concern as Vince grows bored with the hard-partying lifestyle the longer he goes without a drink.

"It's killing me," Vince admits. He's got Lola in his lap at a party, more to keep himself from hitting on any other women, because it appears she and Sharise have conspired together to try and keep him faithful. It works, sort of, he still fucks a lot, but he's got it down to about one girl per city, and he definitely doesn't fuck Lola.

"What? Your dick? Dude yout hard-on is skewering my thigh," Lola tells him with a grimace.

"No," Vince flushes, shifting his hips a little, while Lola clenched her teeth and reminded herself to behave. Why did she wear a damn skirt? "I'm fucking tired of being treated like a damn kid; can't fuck when I want, can't drink, not even allowed anu fuckin' dope. Prison was more fun than this." Lola gives him a curious look, but he's quick to backtrack on that particular statement.

"Call Sharise."

"We always finish too late, I don't wanna keep waking her up after midnight," Vince muses gloomily. His grip around Lola's midsection tightens and he presses his lips to her shoulder. "What if I get you off, for old time's sake?"

Lola sighed, shifting so she face mostly facing Vince.

"You know it won't make you happy, lover boy," Lola's fingers were gentle on his cheek, and Vince leaned into her touch, expression forlorn as he sighed and nodded.

"This isn't fun anymore," Vince admitted, "I fucking hate being away from Skylar, I'm missing all the big moments in her life, and instead I get to watch everyone else having the time of their lives." Lola hugs him, holds him close enough to press his face into her boobs, perhaps as some sort of consolation.

"You can still leave," he tells Lola, reaching up to trace the tattoo of the drumsticks on her collarbones, "you should run while you can, get out before it kills you." Lola laughs but he doesn't understand why, just continues, "after all the shit you've been through, I wouldn't blame you. Leave us in the care of Doc, collect your last paycheck, and disappear forever."

Lola just gives him a sad smile and cards her fingers through his hair.

"Vinny, I don't have anywhere else to go." It's said with a sad smile, and air of finality, and Vince plants a kiss on her cheek before gently urging her to stand up. He goes and tries to call Skylar, and Lola finds Nikki and drags him to a bathroom, shakes him down for a syringe full of heroin she knows she has. And he kisses her, sloppy and slurred, and Lola holds him close so her hands don't shake.

Nikki is easy, Nikki is familiar, Nikki she knows better than she knows herself, can read him as easily as breathing. He moves and she moves in sync, their whole life an unspoken duet.

"You told me not to kill myself over Tommy," Lola and Mick are the only ones awake in the back of the tour bus at eleven in the morning; Lola's sipping a coffee, riding the high of shooting up right before they'd left the last hotel, and Mick's reading a newspaper. "Did you ever think that he wouldn't be the one to kill me?"

"He didn't," Mick reminds her pointedly, and Lola casts a nervous glance to the bunks at the back of the bus, but no-one made a move towards waking up. Mick looks up from his paper to follow her gaze, before he looks back at her.

"You never worried about me and Nikki?"

"No point," Mick huffed, looking back at his paper. This was not the answer she'd been expecting, and it takes a long moment for her to order her thoughts. By the time she had, however, Mick had already lowered his paper, anticipating her next question, "if you wanted to kill yourself over Nikki fuckin' Sixx, there's no person on Heaven or Earth who could talk you out of it." He tells her flatly, "I wasn't about to waste my time on you co-dependent sociopaths."

And perhaps she wants to be offended, but the more she ponders on the sentiment, the more she finds comfort in it, can't help but bring it to Nikki.

The night, though it's almost six am, is warm and humid, and after a hard night of partying, they fall into bed together, like so many nights before. Something about Mick's words plays on her mind, and maybe it's that she's not quite sure where she ends and Nikki begins in this heat, but she doesn't want to let him go.

"Mick said something weird to me the other day," Lola starts, her head on his chest as she's catching her breath, and she feels Nikki's laughter as it rumbles through his chest, his arm around her, sweat sticking them and their hotel's bedsheets together in the afterglow.

"Everything Mick says is weird," Nikki snorts, "the guy's an alien." His idle hand draws an indistinct patterns on the sheet over her thigh.

"Do you think we're codependent?"

"Yeah."

"And don't you think that's... bad or something?" Lola tries, but Nikki just hums noncommittally.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Lo," Nikki tells her, voice shooting for something other than blunt, but not quite hitting the mark, "you're all I really know," he admits after a moment, voice softening, tone far away, as if there's something else on his mind, "and I know I could live without you, just like you could live without me, but I don't want to." He swallowed hard.

"I don't either." Lola says with a small smile, but when she looks to Nikki, he's gazing at the roof.

"I didn't realise I'd have to learn to live without shit I thought I needed, you know?" He says, and Lola's expression falls. Nikki looks back at her, as if realizing what he's said, and licks his lips, hesitating. Sensing his sudden nervousness, wraps herself around him, hugs him so he doesn't have to look her in the eyes, and squeezes her eyes shut tightly as she feels him breathe a sigh of relief. "I didn't mean you." Nikki says, his arms around her, warm and solid, his lips gentle against the shell of her ear as she kisses his shoulder gently.

"I didn't think you did," she says, with the faintest air of amusement, and Nikki huffs a quiet laugh. Neither lets go.

"Did you write Starry Eyes for me?" She murmurs against his skin, and Nikki holds her just a little tighter. She feels him nod.

"Wrote a lot of things for you," he trails his fingertips down her back gently, and Lola feels herself all but melting under his touch. Up and down, gentle as a feather, they lay, wrapped up in each other, in silence, until Nikki's hand stills, palm warm and flat against the small of her back.

"Tommy asked me to be his best man," he says, voice surprisingly raw, and Lola stays still as a statue.

"Congratulations," is all she can manage, a pit in her stomach at the very mention of Tommy's upcoming wedding.

"I couldn't say no," but it sounds like he wanted to, and Lola slowly sits up, straddling Nikki, her hand on his bare chest as she searches his face for what he's trying to tell her. Instead, Nikki reaches up, his hand coming to rest on her ribs right over her heart, "I think I get it. Being with Nicole was never about the drugs, was it?"

Lola's mouth opens in a surprised, quietly hurt oh, and her hand moves to join his.

"I don't -" but the words won't come out, and Nikki gives her this strange little half-smile.

"Am I an ass if I say that I hate Heather?" Nikki asks, and Lola's shock melts a little as she starts to realize exactly what Nikki's saying.

"She makes Tommy happy," she tells him, like she's told herself a thousand times before, wearing a sad smile.

"So do you," Nikki tells her, and Lola's heart starts to ache in a way that's all too familiar, "so do we." Nikki says quietly, unable to look her in the eyes. "How the fuck did you do this twice? How do you just say 'they're happier without me' and be okay with it?" His lip curls into a snarl and he gently pushes Lola off of him, maneuvering himself to the side of the bed, hunching in on himself. There's tears beginning to sting Lola's eyes, but Nikki's voice is raw, is bitter as he asks, "does it always fucking hurt?"

"I don't want to lie to you-" Lola tries, but Nikki turns, snaps at her.

"I don't care! How the fuck can you watch them together and not want to yell at him that he's throwing away -?" Nikki's mouth snaps shut, and the fury in his eyes dies down, too afraid to voice his thoughts. Like approaching a wild animal, Lola slowly makes her way over to him, wrapping him up in her arms, letting him rest his forehead against her shoulder.

"I didn't even know I was... was allowed to love him like this," the words spill from him, messy, angry, and Lola's silent, curled over him like a shield from the outside world, tears dripping from her eyelashes, "didn't even realise I did, but Heather just thinks she can, can what? Fucking take him? From us?" His grip on Lola is tight, his nails digging into her skin when all he can focus on is his own anger, but after a moment of silence, he feels the way Lola's shaking, and he comes back to reality, "Lo?"

"It always hurt," Lola whispers through her tears, "Nikki, it always fucking hurts."

[madsnjay]

1. Therapy

Tom's POV

"Would anyone else like to come up and share? We have a few minutes left of our session." Amanda shares.

"I'd like to step up." Said a voice in the front row. He jumped up on the podium.

"Hi, how's everyone doing? I'm Alex."

"Hi, Alex."

"Well to start off, it's obviously my first time in one of these things. I'm not gonna lie it was kind of rough for me to finally make my way here. I am many things. I'm a liar, I'm a cynic. I'm a sinner, and a saint. A loser, a critic. Honestly, I'm the ghost of my mistakes."

And I thought the musician was dramatic. "I want this one first." I said turning to Jay. "Already on it."

"Well I'm not one to really beat around the bush. I kinda just say it as it is. I know this isn't AA but I have struggled a lot with alcohol. I recently got into an accident because of it, in which ended with my best friend in the hospital. Thankfully he's okay. It fucking sucks that it had to get to that point for me to finally realize I had to fix this problem. I've been sober for almost two weeks now and I'd be lying if I said I haven't been tempted. Every time I let my mind wander I think back to that night. He told me repeatedly he'd drive. He was a lot more sober than I was. He offered to pay for an uber for us. He did all the right things except for one. He decided to get in the car with me. He decided to trust me. That will forever be my greatest regret. I keep thinking 'yeah, I should be laying in that hospital bed. It should be me fighting for my life even though I don't deserve to live'. I take my life for granted. I'd give anything for a bottle to help me forget. He helps me through it all. He's forgiven me. Now it's time for me to learn to forgive myself."

What a load of bullshit. Two weeks sober huh? I bet I can break him.

"Time heals all wounds. We're all hard on ourselves because we know we should've known better. We are all our own worst critic. Thank you so much Alex, we are all here for you and you have our support. And thank you to everyone else who shared today. I'll see you all next week." Amanda says with a bright smile.

We sit and watch everyone make their way to the door. Once everyones gone, I turn to face Jay for a report.

"Alex's story checks out. The only thing I'm curious about is how could his friend have forgiven him if he's in a coma?" She says with a sarcastic grin.

Welcome to the game, Alex.

Jay's POV

Finding Alex was easy, but finding more info on Em was a bit more of a challenge. Usually the damaged like to share more of themselves to try to get others to feel pity. Em was different, and I liked a challenge.

"You ready?" Noel said as he and Cody stood out by the door of the session. When you help one of the town's most feared, you're obviously gonna need some type of protection. As I filled them in on our two newest players, Cody went off to follow up on Alex's unfortunate victim.

"Noel, I'm gonna need you to follow the musician around-"

"Boss says I can't leave you on your own-"

"Yeah? Well I'm your boss, too. And I need you to do this for me. I'll take care of Tom." I said aggravated. He was hesitant at first before he decided to walk off and catch up before she got too far.

Before I decided to walk back into the room with Tom, I felt eyes on me. I turned and seen Alex making direct eye contact from down the hall. Show time.

"Like what you see?" I said with a smirk.

"For the most part."

"Very revealing story there, Alex." I said as I made my way to him.

"Just being honest and open that's all." he said leaning against the wall.  "And since we're being honest and open, how about you let me take you out for some coffee. Unless you got other plans." He said as he looked behind me to see Tom standing down the hall by the door.

"Nope, totally free." I said as I glared at Tom. I love him, but I'm tired of him thinking he can control me. I hate the fact that he knows he has me wrapped around his finger. This is a step I'm taking all on my own, and I'm gonna prove to him that I don't need his white knuckled grasp on me to produce results.

Tom's POV

What in the actual fuck does she think she's doing? Going off with Alex? Alone? She could absolutely blow the entire thing with this idiotic burst of rebellion. And why the fuck did Noel just leave like that? I specifically told him not to leave her alone, and that's exactly what he did. I know she can be persuasive, and honestly downright intimidating sometimes, but orders are orders. She can't be undermining me to my own employees.

As they all walked off in their separate directions, I found myself standing there, unsure of what to do. Before I could give it any more thought, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Amanda, giving a big smile to the last couple of people heading out of the building.

"Tom, let's talk inside." She said as she jerked her head back towards the building. I sighed and turned to follow after her. I need to find out what Jay is up to, but I guess I can't really be seen following them around. Then I'll blow the whole thing. Plus, if she told me to talk inside and I left, she'd have my head displayed on her mantle, and that's not really how I planned to go out if I'm being perfectly honest.

"What's up, A?" I asked as I sat next to her on the back row, throwing my arm over the back of the chair between us and turning to face her.

"We need to talk better strategies. You and Jay have gotten kind of... sloppy lately. You're my number one asset, and I don't want her reckless rebellion interfering with your success." Shit.

"I mean, I'm your only asset but I'll take it," I said with a chuckle, trying to ease the tension. She didn't so much as hint at any sort of smile at my lame excuse for a joke. I nervously cleared my throat and continued. "Amanda, I can assure you I have everything under control. We're just going with a... different course of action this time, but I can assure you, everything will go as planned." She seemed pleased with my response, and she confirmed by not pressing the issue anymore.

"So. Who are the new targets?" She always got eager to know who we were going after next. She's a firm believer in ridding the world of the damaged people that damage others. It was almost unsettling how much pleasure she took in our work.

"Definitely Alex. Dude was way too dramatic from the start. Had me at his poetry bullshit before he ever even told his story." She nodded in agreement and looked away in thought.

"So just him? Cody, Jay, and Noel all went off in different directions. Kinda strange for one target, isn't it?" For some reason, I didn't want her to know about the musician yet. I wanna know her full story before I get Amanda involved.

"As of right now, yes. Cody is checking in on Alex's friend to see what's up, and Alex asked Jay to go get coffee with him, so she's gonna try to get more of an inside story from him. Noel is keeping an eye on them from afar." She nodded, hopefully not suspicious of my answer.

"Very well then. Keep up the good work." She said shaking my hand as we both stood up to leave. As I was about to walk out the door, she spoke again stopping me in my tracks. "Oh, and one more thing."

"Yes ma'am?" I asked turning back, worried she was about to call me out for lying straight to her face. "I'm glad you're on our team." She threw in a small smile at the end, easing my nerves.

"I am too. I really am." I said before I turned and exited the building. Now how the fuck am I gonna handle this whole situation?

Jay's POV

"Pick your poison." He says as we made our way to the register. Poison, not a bad idea. Simple and a hell of a lot less messy.

"Can I get a venti salted caramel cold brew with toffee nut in the foam please?" As I reached for my wallet I felt his hand pull mine away.

"And a black hot coffee for me, both under Alex. Thank you." he said as he handed his card over. A gentleman, kind of a shame. "I asked you out for coffee, my treat. I'm guessing your boy has you fend for yourself a lot huh?"

I really had no idea how to respond to that. Part of me wanted to defend Tom, but the other part of me knows he's kind of right.

"I'll take your silence as an answer," he chuckled. I walked over to a table as he brought over our drinks. "Speaking of, what's the deal with you two? Trouble in paradise?"

"He's no one you really have to worry about. We're just really good friends." I said as I take a drink.

"That's good to know, now this all doesn't have to be too awkward."

"Were you worried?" I said with a big grin.

"A little, it's just the way he watches you. Like he's waiting for you to slip away."

"He has no hold on me." I said with a reassuring smile.

"So, you know a little bit of my story. What's yours?"

"Well, I have a habit of collecting damaged people. I seem to gravitate to it apparently." I say as I take another sip.

"So what are you after? Some kind of disaster?"

"Damage attracts damaged."

He smiles as he takes a drink. "Well, then I think this could be good for us. Help fix each other."

Sure, help me.

[taehyungiestummy]

Return to Paradise -- Chapter Eighteen

Masterlist     Previous     Next

Warning: None

Word Count: 2983

         “The sun feels so nice on my shoulders,” I wiggle around in the pool chair I am sharing with Yoongi.

         “Good thing we have small asses,” Yoongi says.

         “My ass isn’t that small. I have big thighs, though. The smoosh together, but I kind of love them.”

         “You’re covering them with a towel, though.”

         “So are you,” I pat his knee.

         “I am just being careful with the sun. Plus, I’m always cold as fuck it seems.”

         “I’m trying to warm you up, cold as ice boy,” I chuckle. “No offense.”

         “I said it first, goofball. I don’t mind at all.”

         “Goofball, little one. What is next? Do you have more nicknames up your sleeve?”

         “Amber, if you aren’t going to read, come on in,” Emily shouts from the pool. Her purple bikini with white polka dots looks great on her.

         “I want to see your yellow polka dot bikini in its full glory,” Taehyung pouts.

         “Why can’t I just chill?” I ask.

         “Swimming is fun, and you have been chilling for a long time,” Jimin says.

         “Come have fun with us,” Jungkook smiles.

         “Leave her alone,” Seokjin sighs. “She will come in when she’s ready.”

         “Thank you Jin,” I nod and grin at the oldest.

         “She just likes sitting with Yoongi-hyung,” Namjoon states.

         “I’m awesome,” Yoongi shrugs.

         “You have so much swag,” I giggle. “I love those dumb nickname shirts.”

         “Aren’t you getting hot?” Hoseok asks. “You should come cool off.”

         “Hobi,” I pout. “I said no.”

         “Jagi, I’m going to get you in this pool,” Taehyung smirks.

         “Tae, don’t you dare,” Yoongi glares and shakes his head at my boyfriend.

         “We’ll get you in here too, Yoongi-hyung,” Jimin giggles.

         “I’ll murder you,” I evilly smirk.

         “All bark, no bite,” Hoseok smirks right back.

         “You piece of shit.”

         “Come on guys, leave them alone,” Seokjin chuckles.

         “Seokjin-hyung,” Jungkook pouts.

         “Nope, I won’t stand this,” Taehyung begins to get out of the pool. His bare torso makes my cheeks heat up.

         “Tae, don’t you dare,” I shake my finger at him.

         “I’m going to help,” Jimin makes his way out of the pool.

         “Surrounded by shirtless boys, what a shame,” I mumble.

         “Hey, not me,” Yoongi elbows my side. “I have a shirt on and so does Seokjin-hyung.”

         “I’ll help as well,” Jungkook follows Jimin out of the pool.

         “I hate the maknae line,” I maneuver out of the pool chair, setting my towel on the table to it. “Taehyung, no kisses.”

         “What?” Taehyung stops in his tracks. “No, I need kisses. I’ll do anything for kisses.”

         I smirk, “Come and get me.” I sashay to the steps, slowly walking into the pool. “Oh, this feels so nice. I guess it all worked out.”

         “Do we still get Yoongi-hyung?” Jungkook looks at Taehyung and Jimin.

         “Sure,” Jimin shrugs.

         Yoongi doesn’t struggle that much as the maknae line lifts him up, discards his towel, and lowers him into the pool.

         “You okay, Yoongi,” I drift over to the boy.

         “I’m fine, little one,” Yoongi just barely smiles.

         “My jagi is so hot,” Taehyung wraps his arms around my stomach. “So sexy, I dare say.”

         “She’s cute,” Emily says. “She will always be cute.”

         “A foul-mouthed cute,” Namjoon smiles.

         “I haven’t been that bad with swearing,” I lean back into Taehyung.

         “I like your confidence,” Seokjin smiles. “If you cuss, then oh well. Keep being happy with who you are.”

         “Thank you, Jin. That means a lot.”

         “As long as you still have really cute moments,” Jungkook says.

         “Yes,” Jimin smiles. “We need cute from you.”

         “I’ll always be cute, Jiminie and Kookie,” I wink at the two.

         Jungkook goes wide-eyed while Jimin’s cheeks redden and his smile becomes so wide with eyes squinting up.

         “Did you just wink at them?” Namjoon chuckles.

         “Yes, and I broke them,” I laugh. “I didn’t think that would happen. I don’t really wink at anyone, so I didn’t think I looked good.”

         Taehyung kisses my jaw, “My jagi is the best, and she’s all mine.”

         “Jimin, you can stop smiling,” Hoseok laughs, flicking water at Jimin.

         “What?” Jimin takes a few seconds to relax his face. “Sorry, a pretty girl wink at me.”

         “Aw, thanks Jimin,” I giggle. “You have girls throwing themselves at you, though. I’m nothing.”

         “We don’t know them,” Jungkook has gotten over the shock of the wink. “We know you.”

         “Yeah, that’s true,” Emily nods. “They are just fans, we are friends. Nothing against the fans, but it’s true.”

         “Army,” Hoseok slaps the water.

         “Yes, sorry, Army,” Emily giggles.

         “We are Army,” I place my hands on Taehyung’s arms. “Proud to be one, as well as a Carat.”

         “Bringing up Seventeen,” Yoongi raises his eyebrows. “In front of Tae?”

         “We are okay now,” Taehyung gives me a small squeeze. “She can like Seventeen. She can enjoy other bands that aren’t us.”

         “Tae is a jealous boy at times,” Hoseok says.

         “I know,” I say. “It’s fine at times because I know he is just being protective, but at times it can bleed into being possessive, which is going too far.”

         “I just love you and am scared that another boy could take you from me,” Taehyung kisses my ear multiple times. “I know I shouldn’t be, but we are so new.”

         “Don’t think that will ever happen,” Namjoon says.

         “I know it will never happen,” I firmly state.

         “Enough serious talk,” Hoseok says. “Let’s have some fun!”

******

         “Hi girls,” Nari answers the phone call. “How are you two?”

         “Good,” Emily smiles. “Having the times of our lives.”

         “Being over here is so weird,” I say. “We just made it to Illinois, and that is too close to home for comfort. The only bad thing about being over here. Well, a lot has been happening.”

         “Are you sleeping enough?” Nari asks. “Jetlag is not something you want to let get to you.”

         “We are,” I giggle. “I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster ride, though.”

         “Yes, Emily has called and told me about your troubles. I wasn’t really sure what I could do, but I tried to give the best advice for a situation that was a bit foreign to me. I’m glad you are doing better.”

         “She’s got a family of friends around her that love her so much,” Emily says. “That has helped a lot, I think.”

         “It has helped a lot,” I grin. “Without eight loving people with me during this, it wouldn’t have been such a short state of sad. I would have been stuck in a rut for a while just going through the motions.”

         “I’m glad that you have found people that can help you,” Nari says. “How are the boys?”

         “Good, good,” Emily answers. “Jin misses you, and I bet you already know that. He’s on his phone a lot when we chill in a room. All nine of us chatting away about nothing. There’s a comfort in just being able to hang out together and shoot the breeze.”

         “Who taught you that phrase?” I narrow my eyes at Emily.

         Emily shrugs.

         “That’s wonderful,” Nari moves passed my question. “It’s great that you guys worked so hard to learn Korean so you could talk to all the boys, and now look at you traveling around with them. It is such a great thing to see.”

         “It is nice to be able to talk to them without Namjoon’s help,” I say. “They are so interesting, and I love talking to them. To speak the same language has opened up so many doors for us to learn all kinds of things about them.”

         “I bet,” Nari chuckles. “They are crazy boys and should have a lot to talk about. Jungkook and Jimin seemed like they wanted to talk to you the most last year. There was just no easy way to do it.”

         “They do love talking to Amber,” Emily smiles. “I talk with Namjoon, Hoseok, and Seokjin more.”

         “I’m trying my hardest to talk to them all,” I pout. “It’s hard with seven of them.”

         “How is your singing going?” Nari asks.

         “She’s so good now,” Emily quickly speaks up before I can even open my mouth. “The boys’ lessons are helping so much, and she’s even sung in Korean once.”

         “It wasn’t good,” I sigh. “I tried, but I already talk slow in the language, so why would singing be any different.”

         “I bet it was lovely,” Nari says.

         “You’re breaking your promise to Yoongi by saying that,” Emily shakes her head.

         “Shit, yeah,” I groan. “It wasn’t terrible. Korean singing is something I am still working on, so I bet that I will get better with time. Just like speaking.”

         “Her voice sounds so much better than the first time she sang aloud, though,” Emily firmly nods. “She just needed to work a little bit on the basics, and then it all would come together.”

         “The boys are good teachers then,” Nari says. “Are you really going to sing on Yoongi’s mixtape?”

         “I’m not sure,” I take a deep breath. “I do have the stage name that the boys forced on me, Blue Rose, so I could. If he really wants me to, I guess that I would do it.”

         “He does,” Emily playfully shoves me. “It’s be great. No one will know that it’s you, and so it won’t really matter.”

         “His mixtape is probably going to be a lot of rapping, and me singing will be so weird.”

         “No it won’t,” Nari chuckles. “He’ll make it work, so don’t worry about it. His mixtape is going to be perfect, and he knows just the voice he wants to be on it. Besides his, of course.”

         “No doubt,” I smile. “He’s a perfectionist.”

         “So what are your plans for tonight? Anything special planned?”

         “The boys should be coming to get us to go out to dinner soon,” Emily answers. “We should say our goodbye’s so we can get ready.”

         “We miss you, Nari,” I giggle. “We will be back soon, and we will spend as much time as we can with you before we leave again.”

         “I look forward to it,” Nari chuckles. “Have fun at dinner, and I will talk to you very soon.”

         “Bye Nari!” Emily and I shout.

         The line goes dead, and I pick up my phone.

         “I wonder where the boys are?” Emily hops off the bed. “They are so exact in their times with how busy their lives are.”

         In the next moment, a knock comes at our door. The perfect timing as always.

         I laugh, “I think that’s them. Let’s go and have a good time.”

********

         “Ugh,” I groan, curling into myself even more on the couch. “I love mother nature, or Aunt Flow, or whatever the fuck you want to call a period that makes it nice sounding. Gah, she’s so kind.”

         “Good thing you got a lot of swimming in already,” Emily rubs my back from her spot next to me. “Has it been bad cramps? I wish I could do more to help.”

         “You know, it hasn’t been the worst,” I push on my abdomen slightly in hopes that it will help in anyway. “In fact, they haven’t been as bad as they used to be.”

         “Your body is finally giving you a break, it seems. Maybe with them getting into a rhythm, your body doesn’t need to bring on the cramps of four periods at once.”

         “I guess,” I grumble. “They still really suck, though. It does make me feel that much better.”

         “It’ll be over in a few days,” Emily pats my shoulder. “You could have stayed back at the hotel. No one would have questioned it, and they boys understand how a girl’s body works. Well, most of them do, anyway.”

         “No,” I will myself to uncurl enough to see the TV streaming the boy’s performance. “And be bored out of my mind. Don’t think so. I will just power through. I can’t just let my period rule my life.”

         “Such a fighter,” she ruffles my hair. “You should try to rest though. You must be tired.”

         “I’m not,” I say as a yawn takes over.

         “Sure you aren’t,” she giggles.

         “I can’t sleep now, the concert isn’t over, and I have to make it back to the hotel. Besides, I can just sleep in tomorrow. It all balances out.”

         “Or just rest your eyes now, and focus on feeling better.”

         “It’s hard to sleep, so it might not even happen,” I groan, a cramp coursing through my body. “I don’t even want to try. I left medications at the hotel, and there is no comfortable position that I can find.”

         “You won’t know unless you try,” Emily goes back to rubbing my back.

         “Fine,” I force my eyes shut. “I hope I get some kind of rest.”

         “With me rubbing your back, I think you will.”

         I tiredly smile, “So cocky, but don’t stop. It feels so nice.”

         She giggles, “Don’t worry. I won’t stop until I hear your cute snores.”

         “I don’t snore,” I pout.

         “You do. Very lightly. Not all the time, but it is cute. That is for sure.”

         “Whatever,” I try my best to hold back a yawn, failing and just scrunching up my face like a dork.

         Even with the intense pangs of cramps every once and a while, sleep slowly takes over me. Emily’s slow rubbing just pushes me over the edge into the sweet embrace of sleep.

*~*~*~*~

  Emily notices how quiet Amber gets half an hour later when the concert end. She smiles, knowing her best friend has fallen asleep.

         “Said she wouldn’t fall asleep, but I knew she would,” she stops rubbing Amber’s back and slowly stands up off the couch. “Best friends know each other so well.”

         Emily grabs her phone off the coffee table and exits the room. She needs to tell the boys that Amber is sleeping so they don’t burst in and wake her.

         “Hey babe,” Namjoon walks up to Emily, giving her a love-filled kiss. “What are you doing? Where are you going?’

         “Came out here to catch you,” Emily smirks, leaning up to press another kiss to his lips.

         “Well, you got me,” he chuckles.

         “Actually, I came out so you guys wouldn’t go into the room where we were watching you perform. Amber is asleep, and she needs the rest. Her period hit, and she is beat.”

         “Little one isn’t feeling good?” Yoongi walks up to the couple.

         “Yeah, she’s asleep,” Emily answers. “So please be quiet.”

         “Of course,” Yoongi nods, walking to the room where Amber is in a deep slumber.

         Amber’s soft, cute snore the only sound in the room. The girl is curled up on the only couch, and looks so peaceful.

         “Oh, so cute,” Yoongi smiles, sitting down next to his sister from another mister. He gently lifts her head onto his lap.

         Amber happily mumbles nothing coherent, snuggling into the boy’s lap.

         ���I want to do this more often. I want to have you fall asleep and I just sit with you,” he begins lightly playing with her hair. “Like, late nights at my studio, and just your company is what I need. You fall asleep on the couch, and I make sure you’re comfortable. I want to protect and make you happy. I never thought I would have someone to be my little sister, but now I can’t imagine you being anything else.”

         Amber wiggles around, but she stays asleep.

         “Next year, when you move here, we will do so much together. I’ll get you to sing on my mixtape. I have already decided that. Taehyung will be happy to have you around full time, so will the rest of the boys. I’m sure they feel the same for Emily. Group days will be better, and practice days will be bearable with you two there. Maybe you will become a backup dancer. You have enough skill to. I will support you with whatever you do. Taehyung will spoil you, and I will too. I want to make you proud, my family to see this was a good choice, and prove to the world BTS is bigger than they think. We are going to win many awards, and maybe you will be in the audience when we do. As long as you are watching then it will be good. You are a force to push us forward. I want to see you smile, and here you laugh. I’m glad I am in BTS, so I Could meet you. I’ve realized, in a different way than Tae, that, that I love you,” Yoongi holds back tears that he doesn’t understand why they want to fall.

         Even in her unconscious state, Amber has heard and taken in all of Yoongi’s speech. Touch by all he has said, especially the last bit.

         “Yoongi,” Taehyung’s hushed voice sounds even deeper than it really is. “Is she asleep?”

         Yoongi looks over to the door as Taehyung quietly walks in. “Yes, deep sleep, I think.”

         “What have you been doing?”

         “Just letting out my thoughts. Amber is a good listener,” he grins.

         “Well, that’s just one thing that makes her great.”

         “Are you going to carry her?”

         “Yes,” Taehyung walks over to the couch, leaning down and slowly picking her up in his arms.

         “I’ll get her backpack,” Yoongi stands up and grabs the Hello Kitty backpack off the floor. “Dork hasn’t been wearing her glasses.”

         Amber mumbles another string of incoherent thought, grabbing Taehyung’s shirt and snuggling into him as best she can.

         “She’s too cute to get mad at, though,” Taehyung kisses his girlfriend’s forehead.

         “She is,” Yoongi kisses the top of the girl’s head. “I’m still going to scold her.”

         Taehyung chuckles, “Of course. In the nicest way possible. Right now though, let’s get back to the hotel so she can curl up in a bed.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Got to have some real life in there, and periods are part of real life. Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading! :D

[scenarihoes]

I'm so excited for your blog! Can I ask for a scenario with Bakugo where he confesses to his crush, maybe he got jealous about someone getting closer to her and he kind of bursts out? Thanks so much if you do!!

thanks for the excitement, i hope i can live up to it!!!!

trouble in paradise - bakugou katsuki // reader

For the longest time, you were all his. 

Bakugou had all your attention, your time, your smiles. You were surely kind to your classmates, and while you did hang out with your other friends often, Bakugou was different. You called him late at night, saved the best stories for his listening ears, and he was the first one you saw when you entered the classroom.

And he loved it. 

Not that he’d ever outwardly show it- he wasn’t that arrogant. But he did enjoy it, the way you beamed and chose him out of everyone in that school. At first it was an annoyance, like a pestering fly never leaving him alone, but what could he say? He warmed up to you. 

Truth be told Bakugou grew comfortable with it all. Maybe a little too comfortable. He began to expect the little things, and in a way, eventually began to give back just as much as he was receiving. Outwardly irritated and protective in his own pushy way, inwardly over eager to let you follow him wherever he went. It was easy to let it happen, you were always within arms reach, and truth be told he was in your orbit as well. Life carried on as usual, school and your attention becoming an everyday affair. 

Until it wasn’t anymore. 

Like everything in life, it started out small. Little smiles casted to a certain purple haired student as you passed in the halls, quick conversations and ‘good mornings’. Bakugou could feel it the pit of his stomach already, but, what was it? You had plenty of friends, you always did even before he came into the picture. So why did this set off, make him cringe when you would stop to chat with him?

When his name rolled off your tongue, like it was the sweetest word you’d ever tasted, he felt like he wanted to eat acid.

‘Earlier Shinsou said the funniest thing-’

Bakugou stopped listening the moment he heard his name. His gut clenched, the grip on his pencil tightening just a little more. He looked at you from the corners of his eyes, taking in your peaceful expression. 

‘Don’t tell me your fucking daydreaming about him.’ He deadpans, and while you take his remark as teasing, he’s more speaking outloud than he actually is talking to you. Your defensive reaction is all he needs to hear to realize the world he’d created is tipping out of balance.

The little things became bigger things quicker than he’d thought. Calling in your free time, stopping at the stairs to chat with him, you even would occasionally seek him out during lunch. All those things that were once saved specially for Bakugou, only for him to scoff and pretend like you were a nag. When those bad feelings grew worse and worse in his stomach, he wondered what had caused the shift in tides. Was it his attitude? Had he actually taught you to believe you were a bother to him? That couldn’t be- you’d gone on for this long, why would you suddenly feel different? Or maybe, was there an even darker fear.

Sitting alone at lunch, fingers gripping tight to his chopsticks, he frowns. 

Did you have a crush on him? That purple haired weirdo with a strange attitude, distant but cold eyes? Bakugou didn’t know much about him save for his manipulative quirk, but what could be so great that you’d leave your routine just to interweb him into your life? 

Bakugou set’s his chopsticks down entirely. Is this was being replaced felt like?

Fine, then. 

Bakugou stands up from his seat with a blank expression. Kirishima watches him and calls out as he always does, that same dumb grin ever existent on his face. 

“Oi, oi, what’s going on over there?” He shouts bluntly. “You suddenly got all bothered!”

“Piss off.” Bakugou grunts. He closes his lunchbox, slides it into his bag, and shoves his hands into his pockets before he leaves the classroom. You’re elsewhere, just like you’d told him you’d be that morning. He feels his teeth gritting just at the thought. 

If you want to go and spend all your time with Shinsou, than so be it.

It only takes a few hours for you to notice something’s off. It takes a whole day for you to worry, another for you to whine, and just one more until you’re frantically trying to put dots together. Dots that you weren’t even sure existed.

‘Come on, the silence is killing me!’ You draped yourself over his desk, frowning as he barely spared you a glance. ‘Can’t you just tell me what’s wrong?’

Surprisingly, Bakugou can give one hell of a silent treatment. 

It takes one more day until you’re actually scared. He can see it in your eyes, the way you long for him to revert back to how it had always been. You try harder, jumping at every chance to ask him if he wants to eat lunch with you, or partner up, or literally do anything that would require interaction. Though it’s a rare feeling, Bakugou actually starts to feel a little guilt, and that just makes him even angrier.  If you hadn’t been so blind, head over heels for your new best friend, maybe you’d have realized Bakugou’s newfound loneliness. 

With no intentions of ending your suffering, he just looks down at his worksheet. You, in an attempt to even get him to look at you for more than five seconds, reach out. As you touch his hand, he pulls back like it had burned him. 

“Fuck off,” He spits, like a loose flame escaping for just a moment, like a solar flare. He glowers at you. “Don’t you have somebody else you can bother?”

The look in your eyes makes him almost cave right there. He expected you to get angry, to puff your cheeks and whine some more about how you missed him. But instead, he got something he’d never seen before. Something he’d never wanted to see before. 

You recoil slowly. He can see the heartbreak you’re processing, a sudden blow to your worries. You eyes fall, and you slump your shoulders. 

“I see.” You stand up, not meeting his gaze. He can’t believe you’d… Given up. When you speak again, you’re quieter. “I’ll leave you alone, then.”

Bakugou turns to follow your leaving figure. He wants to reach out, call you back over. He wants to pretend he’s not bothered- it would be so easy to just say, ‘Stop being dramatic and get back over here.’. You’d probably look at him in confusion only for a moment, and he’d roll his eyes. God, how you’d smile and call him an ass. Laugh and tell him you’d get back at him for that.

But he can’t say anything. Not even when you sit down at your desk and slump forward, eyes finding attention on your own worksheet. 

Now he feels even worse. He feels like a fucking jerk.

The next morning it seems you’ve hit your breaking point. Or at least, you’re forced into it.

Bakugou hadn’t even meant to bump into you, his mind blank with a combination of post-sleep dreariness and his constant thoughts. He barely even registers it’s you when your shoulders collide, you heading out of the classroom while he’s entering. It’s because he doesn’t think long enough to process that it’s you, that he just keeps going. 

You, however, stop in your tracks.

“Ow.” 

Bakugou’s brows knit together at the first voice he’s heard since he’d woken up. It’s early, the classroom empty save for just the two of you. Early risers- it’s how you got to spend time together before the day even officially started. Now it just feels empty.

He turns and sees you, or the back of you, and his eyes widen. 

Finally, he beckons you. Only, it’s not the tone he’d quite wanted to convey.

“What are you yapping about over there?”

It affects you instantly. You tense, straighten, and barely peek at him over your shoulder. You look just as hurt as you had the day before, and he feel it in his gut.

“I said ‘ow’,” You mumble before looking forward again. “That hurt.”

He scoffs. “I barely touched you.”

“Exactly.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? It’s too early for this.” He knows he being an ass, but he’s still mad, even through his guilt. He can’t let it go. “Where are you even going?”

You shrug. “To bother someone, I guess.”

“Someone.” He can’t help the way it blurts out, his acidic tone. Someone. Fuck whoever it is, though he knows full well. 

“Do you have a problem with it?” You turn to face him finally, and he can’t tell if you’re angry or miserable. 

Bakugou shrugs and set’s his bag on the floor next to his desk. “You suddenly care now?”

“Are you-”  You’re absolutely incredulous. “What are you talking about?”

He can feel something bubbling up in his chest- that same feeling he’d been gagging down since the moment you and Shinsou started interacting. It’s white-hot anger, but it’s longing, it’s-

Jealousy.

He glares at you. “I’m talking about your best friend.”

“Shinsou?” You narrow your eyes. “That’s what all this is about? Are you pissed that we’re hanging out?”

“Don’t act like you aren’t in love with him or something. It’s written all over your face.” 

“I’m not in love with him, he’s my friend!”

“Clearly.” Bakugou stops looking at you when he leans against the surface of his desk. 

“Why do you care so much about him?” You ask, taking a few steps closer to him. “What is your issue with him, of all fucking people? Why do you care so much that-” You wrack your brain, speaking too fast to stop and think. “That I talk to him?”

“Because we never do shit anymore!” Bakugou blurts, and he tries to recoil but you’re too quick to let him start.

“Because you never fucking talk to me anymore!”

“Before all that, fuck!” He claws the surface of the desk aggravatedly. “We used to do shit all the time and suddenly you’re just all over him, like- Like he’s the center of your world or something.”

“Yeah, me and him hang out sometimes. You were the one who started leaving, not me! I don’t get why you hate it so much, the fact that me and him are close.”

“Because-” He runs his hands through his hair. It’s getting hard to hold himself back now. “Because I wanted to be the one close to you!”

“You were close to me!” 

“Closer! I wanted to be the first person you think of, not some shitty no-name from class 1-C! I was supposed to be closer to you than anyone else!”  He looks insane when he finally catches your eyes with his own, his hand patting his heart to punctuate his words. His teeth grit as he comes to terms with his confession, and he looks torn between giving up or fighting even harder. His nails press hard. “What the fuck happened, what’s so damn cool about him?”

“You’re-… You’re actually jealous.” The way you say it makes it sound like a realization less than a taunt. “Like… Messed up over this, jealous.”

“Of course I am, fuck, ___!” He shakes his head. “One day you just up and decided to piss off and what was I supposed to do?”

“I didn’t know,” You’re even closer now and he doesn’t know if he should let it continue. “I’m sorry.”

But then again, he’s gotten this far already.

So he lets you stand in front of him, reach out and gently touch his cheeks to your hands. He lets you make him look up at you, and though he wants to appear infuriated, he knows he looks nothing short of a mess. He knows he looks like he misses you. Before everything, before all the anger and silence, you were his friend. 

And he misses his friend.

“Katsuki, you’re an idiot.” He tenses into stone. “You’ve always been the most important to me.”

Bakugou blinks at you, unsure of what’s coming next. You shake your head and let your eyes fall shyly, sadly, your hands coming to rest at your sides again.

“Shinsou is a good friend, he really is, but…” You shrug. “You’ve always been, well, more I guess. Why do you think it hurt so much when you turned a cold shoulder to me? At first I thought something was wrong, like-… Like, I don’t know, you just wanted alone time, but then… Yesterday…”

For a moment, he almost pulls himself out of his cage. His lips move but he can’t say it- ‘I’m sorry’. You continue regardless.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt like that before. It fucking sucked, and I was so screwed up, you can even ask Shinsou, that whole time you were ignoring me it’s all I cried about.”

His eyebrows furrow. “You told him about me?”

“All the fucking time. Even before.”

Like it had been wringed out of his system, Bakugou can actually feel his features soften. His eyes widen slightly, his fingers flattening against the surface of the table. His eyes follow your lead in looking away. 

“…All the time?” 

“All the time. He got annoyed by it but I didn’t care, you just… I like everything you do, mostly, so it’s hard to shut up about you sometimes.”

Pride bubbles within him, threatens to mask all those thoughts he let coerce him into leaving you. He frowns. “So then why did you shove me to the side all the damn time.”

“I didn’t mean to,” As you look up at him, you’re oozing guilt. “I thought you liked the space. I-I always wanted to invite you to hang out with us but… I knew you didn’t like him. It was all over your face. And then when you stopped talking to me, god, I thought you hated me so much.”

For the second time that week, Bakugou feels like an asshole. He rubs the back of his neck, slumping. The silence that forms between you both is heavy.

“Katsuki,” You start, not meeting his gaze. “I’m sorry.”

“Shut up.” He grumbles, and you frown up at him. “I don’t wanna hear that shit.”

“But-”

“I said I don’t wanna hear it. You don’t have jackshit to apologize for so save it.”

Finally your expression is something warm. Or at least, warmer than what it had been before. He can see the color returning to your eyes, makes him feel like he can breathe a little easier. He sighs. 

“Whatever bullshit thought you got in your head that I wanted you to go away, get rid of it. Right now.” He grunts. “It’s dumb.”

“And what about everything you said earlier?”

“What?”

“About the…” You shrug shyly. “Wanting to be the closest to me. Wanting to be the first.”

Bakugou’s cheek’s warm up, and he swallows thickly. He hadn’t meant to spill all that. At first he gets nervous, but then he sees that knowing grin playing on your lips, and his face heats even hotter. “Shut up.”

“Aw come on, don’t do that. You owe me.”

“I don’t owe you a damn thing.”

“Yeah you do!” You pout. “For making me think you hated me!”

Bakugou’s mouth opens but he shuts it and sighs. “Whatever. Fine. I’ll- Fuck it, I’ll make it up to you, I guess.”

You grin. “I know how you can.” 

He rolls his eyes. “Great.”

As you reach into your back pocket, you pull out a small folded paper. The more you fidget with it, he can see it’s an advertisement.

“You can take me to this.” Handing it over, he gives the paper a skim, and feels his mouth dry.

‘Annual Light Festival - All Weekend Long!’

“I wanted to tell you more about it a few days ago but, y’know…” You mumble, and he grunts as he continues reading. “You were the first person I thought of when I saw it. I… Thought we could go together.”

“Fine.” He says without looking up, but there’s an obvious blush dusting his cheeks. 

You beam. “Really?!”

“Don’t make such a huge fucking deal out of it!” He huffs. It doesn’t stop you.

“I’m just excited, I’ve been looking forward to it all year and I was worried I wouldn’t get to go with you, but, now I get to! It’s a huge deal!” Your hands clasp, a giant smile taking form. “I had so much fun at it when I was a kid, my mom used to take me all the time. Even though I’m older now, I think it’ll be just as much fun with you, if not more!”

Bakugou feels strange, and he looks it too. Spaced out, pink cheeks, his eyes are strictly on yours and unmoving. It’s like you’re glowing, and finally, finally, he feels like the world around his is balanced out once more. The rug that was swept from under him is the net that breaks his fall. 

“Katsuki?”

He bristles. “C-Calm down about it, it’s just a fair. You don’t need to lose your shit over it.”

It’s so easy to read him. You giggle.

“I’m happy I get to spend it with you, is all. You’re the only one I wanted to go with.”

Like a tidal wave, Bakugou flushes even darker. Before he can speak again, a shrill voice cuts him off.

“Oh! You guys are already here, should have expected that!” Mina calls cheerily, setting her bag down at her own desk. You jump and turn to look at her over your shoulder, and when she sees Bakugou in front of you, her eyes widen. “Did I interrupt something? Are you guys finally friends again?”

“Wh-What?” You gape.

“You guys have been fighting all week, everyone can see it! Bakugou’s been sooooo depressed!”

“Shut the hell up!” He barks, and she giggles in return as he shoves the paper in his back pocket. His voice lowers considerably as he looks back at you. “We’ll talk about the details or whatever later.” He looks away. “Alone.”

You grin, feeling your spirit elevate. Teasingly, you hum at him, “Now who’s making a big deal out of it?”

He scoffs.

“Shut up.”