#don/t rebl/og

[somewhatvellum]

i so love putting my head against someones chest

whether there be tiddies or not, all chests are good

idk theres just something so nice abt it

[artnerd1123]

Me: *stops doing anything that I enjoy for 2 seconds to take care of life or whatever*

My good mood:

[nb-endermans-archive]

(Mobile) DNI if

MAP/MAP sympathizer Transmed/Truscum TERF/SWERF Any kind of exclusionist Ship incestuous, pedophilic or otherwise abusive ships Anti-anti NSFW or kink blog Use slurs you have no right to reclaim Fujoshi or fetishize mlm/wlw relationships Anti-he/him lesbians/Anti-she/her gays Pewdiepie stan

[kokoinupi]

hey it really do be one of those weeks

please send me nice stuff to look at... forreal....

whenever i make posts like this tho no one ever sends me anything

[paaansy]

ive been away from home for 10 days and its the first night im back and everything just feels like shit i feel shit and want 2 die !

[organizaxion]

it’s crazy

recently I was thinking about how my dad used to exhibit sociopathic behavior, and wondering if he was really capable of change

and today he was in town, and some of my concerns regarding being Bi in m*rmon town, and how I didn’t know if my cousins had safe spaces to go if/when they realized they were gay/trans/etc

and he got mad at me. he argued with me about my fears. after I asked him to just listen to my concerns. he compared the oppression of lgbt+ people by “Christians” to the persecution of m*rmons ~200 years ago.

and then he got mad that I was mad with him because he’s “afraid of me” that I’ll cut him out of my life again, which just seems really manipulative

this is why i only talk to him on surface level anymore. I can’t trust him.

[kimikaami]

maybe im just dramatic but it’s devastating when one of my favorite people blogs deactivate out of nowhere

[pc-98s]

takes my laptop into a computer repair place, gets it back far, far more broken than it was when I brought it there

[turbobyakuren]

also the biggest fucking issue i have right now is that trans related issues are so US-centric and have this “wholesome” activism language that i loathe. I live in france and i do not fucking Caaare that i’m “valid” and that i need “self acceptance” i want to look like a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop using english loanwords and give me all the info i need so a doctor can prescribe me the TIT PILLS NOW

[dunewizard]

I have received the job offer I was waiting for, lord give me strength cause in the Gender Identity section I put "Non Binary".

I'm just nervous about it but I'm sure it'll be ok.

I feel like it they had this many selections it'd be okay. I'm just nervous cause out of being NB for at least 4 years now, this is the first time I've ever told my work about it.

[artnerd1123]

*looks into the camera like I’m on the office*

[wanderingthroughwickford]

Honestly it’s just kind of scary to me that people are calling Ri/an John/son a fascist and a Nazi sympathizer to his face on Twitter because of Ky/lo R/en? 

Like holy shit those are serious and powerful accusations used to identify dangerous, evil people in our society, and I can’t understand how so many people seem to think that throwing them about is an appropriate reaction to your least fave potentially getting a redemption arc.

[lesbianlucysnowe]

re:my last post: before anyone accuses me of disliking stories where gay characters get happy endings i just want to make it abundantly clear that if greywaren doesn’t end with ronan and adam’s ribs fitting together as they hug and tell each other that they’re home then i will drive all the way from texas to virginia without stopping just to egg mstief’s car

[lacerationdivination]

i dont know why but every now and then theres something that tugs me back here. i’m so much better now but i know that all of this is still inside me. of course i’m “rational” or whatever now, but i’d be lying if i said i never thought about any of it anymore. my wings are but faded wisps of what they used to be, but theyre still there. a part of them still exists. i may not shudder when i feel the wind blow through them anymore, but every now and then the pang of a weight that doesn’t exist resonates through my whole body, and i’m not sure which feeling i hate more. 

getting older and growing up is weird. its weird looking back and knowing that all of this was me. i still have the remnants, faded as they may be. i look back at my writings from years and years ago and wonder “how the fuck is this me?” while at the same time the memories flood through my brain, my hands, my veins, my wings, my soul. i may not be a delusional teenager anymore, but everything that happened to me back then, including the divinity delusions, heavily influenced my current belief system and how i even function on a day-to-day basis.

theres that part of me that is still holding on to it. cradling it, almost. the idea of letting go of it feels impossible. its comforting, knowing that if things really really went wrong, i could just...go back. let myself succumb again and this time i could totally and completely lose myself in it. of course i dont want that to actually happen but......its there. and i know its there. and its probably always going to be there. i can always go back.

[quadtank]

today’s tarot reading (14/09)

today i did a three card “situation, action and outcome” tarot reading to determine what i should do with regards to beginning my physical transition and starting testosterone.

situation - v of cups (reversed): this card represents acceptance, moving on and finding peace which is very suitable to the question at hand. this card and it’s reversal suggests that “while times were dark, i have been able to pull myself out of them by looking forwards” and i am finally beginning the process of moving on

action - strength: this card represents bravery, focus and inner strength. this card also personally suggests that a “great deal of inner understanding radiates power” but i should keep in mind that along with power there must also be a balance of compassion.

outcome - knight of swords: this card represents ambition, action but also haste and the danger of rushing. this card suggests that i must stay mindful of being overwhelmed by the single idea and avoid acting without thinking of consequences and obstacles.

the tarot deck used (x), the meaning resource used (x) - both by labyrinthos

i am very at peace with this reading and it seems to directly reflect my life. in accordance with the “situation” draw, i have indeed come to a place of great acceptance of myself and my gender after struggling with it for so long. times have been dark, as they unfortunately are for many, but i am able to pull myself out and continue to grow even out of the bad times. 

i believe that the “action” draw directly relates to the choice to embark of taking testosterone. starting this process not only takes bravery and inner strength, but i personally feel as though “inner understanding” has two meanings, for myself at least. the first being my own personal understanding of my own identity and the second being the physical manifestation of hormones within my body and how these give me power as a transgender individual.

the “outcome” draw is also a well received and very necessary warning to myself. i have a habit of behaving impulsively and should keep this in mind when beginning the process of starting testosterone. i must be mindful to avoid expecting the process to start or changes to happen immediately as this will only lead to frustration, disappointment and end up in me burning myself out emotionally. i must act sensibly and with patience and this is something i must learn.

and... this concludes my first formal tarot reading post! of course i am still studying and learning and i feel as though i rely to much on formal definitions than my own intuition so far, but that will come with time. let me know if you have any insight or corrections with regards to this reading!

[wakairyuu]

i need opinion on what version i should continue