#doing it all for us

[loveesiren]

Doing It All For Us (Pt. 1)

Masterlist

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: Y/n moves to the Outer Banks from California, reuniting with her best friend. She's quickly introduced to Rafe Cameron, the psychotic Kook King of Figure out.

Warnings: Drug use, drinking, swearing, virginity, slut shaming, fighting, toxic

Word Count: 4.4k

As soon as Rafe Cameron laid eyes on you, it was over for every other fucking girl on the island. The way your hips swayed in your little black dress. The why the glitter coating your eyelids shimmered when the light hit them just so. The jewelry that clung to your skin. You were breathtaking.

Rafe couldn't pick his jaw up off the floor as you walked past him, not even glancing in his direction. The two girls sitting beside him stared at you with hatre filled eyes.

"What's her name?" Rafe asked, his eyes focused on your figure as you walked up to a group of people at the party.

Topper and Kelce burst out laughing. Rafe turned to face them. "What?"

"Dude, she will squash you like bug," Kelce laughed.

"Her name." Rafe demanded.

Kelce sighed. "Y/N Y/L/N." He responded. "Just moved here from California. The new Kook Queen if you ask me."

"Her dad works for Elon Musk or some shit, dude. She's filthy fucking rich." Topper added.

"Who cares?" One of the girls, Jessica, asks as she clings to Rafe's arm.

"She ain't shit," Maria said.

Rafe pays them no mind as he brings his eyes back to you. Dark hair, perfectly straightened, falling to the small of your back.

"Let's go say hi to the new girl," Maria suggests as Jessica gets up to join her.

You and Courtney are throwing your heads back with laughter when two girls approach you.

"Courtney, gonna introduce us to your friend?" Maria asked.

Courtney sighed. "What do you cunts want?"

"Wow, so rude! We just wanted to give the newest member of the island a warm welcome." She said as she turned to you. You scoffed at her sarcasm.

"I'm Maria, and this is Jess," Maria said as she extended a hand to you.

You curled your left hand back, pulling your drink to your shoulder as your other hand reached out to grip hers firmly.

"Y/N." You gave a bitchy smile.

"So, are you here to be the next biggest slut on the island? Not sure you could compete with Courtney here." Jessica asked.

You glanced at Courtney, her eyes full of hurt but she quickly looked to the floor.

You turned back to her. "Ha, funny!" You said before throwing your drink in her face and grabbing her hair, quickly slamming her face down into the beer pong table beside you.

"Holy shit!" The guys around the table said as they stepped back. Rafe stood up quickly and watched you as you continuously slammed this girls face into the table.

You pulled her head back so that you could look at the work you'd done on her face. "Keep Courtney's name out of your mouth. Keep my name out of your mouth. That way, I won't have to finish your bitch ass off, cunt!" You yelled to her before dropping her to the floor. Maria was quickly by her side.

"Anyone else have a fucking problem?!" You yelled, scanning the room as everyone stared at you. You were met with silence and shaking heads. "Cool! I'm Y/N, I just moved here." You announced, a satisfied smile on your face. "Nice to meet you all!" You chuckled before turning around and walking out of the party.

"Goddamn dude!" Topper and Kelce conversed as they clung to eachothers shoulders. Rafe watched you leave, paying attention to the confidence in your stride. I small smile broke across his face.

Rafe Cameron was in love.

___________

You sat at the table sipping your mimosa. Courtney mirroring your behavior across from you. "Ugh," You groaned. "I'm never doing that much coke again!"

"Never again," Courtney repeated as she rested her head against the base of her palm.

You had woken up in time to get brunch at the club. Well actually, you barely ever went to sleep. You knew you wouldn't be able to eat much but you definitely needed your morning mimosa to nurse this hangover.

Your navy blue bikini hugged your body tight, dangerously close to exposing you. Gold chains clung to your waist and arms. Eyeliner big and bold, lined with your signature rhinestones. You could feel eyes judging you and the thought made you giggle.

"So how do you like the island so far?" Courtney asked, taking a small bite of her toast.

"It's different," You admitted. "But it's cute. The parties are fun." You winked at her.

"Yeah, everyone is talking about that." Courtney giggled. "You haven't even been here two weeks and you already beat the shit out of one of the islands most adored Kooks."

You chuckled. Courtney had explained the Kooks and Pogues to you. It made you laugh. You thought the concept was silly. But when you drove to the Cut to pick up coke from Barry, you realized why there were two entirely different worlds inhabiting the island.

Courtney was full Kook. Tall, thin, blonde. She had been your childhood best friend back in LA. When she moved to the Outer Banks for her dads new job at 16, you stayed in close contact. When your dad told you you'd be moving out there with him because he got promoted, you were ecstatic. Saying goodbye to California was hard but you were so excited to start a new adventure with your best friend.

Your dad bought a nice little mansion in Figure Eight. A few houses down from Courtney's. It was just the two of you, and your dad traveled a lot. Courtney often came over to keep you company in the large house.

You had the master bedroom. The ceiling was tall, plenty of windows for the southern sun to shine through. A fire place under your tv. A HUGE walk in closet with a huge bathroom to match. Your dad opted for the bedroom on the other side of the house. The one that connected to his office. Needless to say, he was always in there or traveling. The rest of the house was practically yours.

"You should throw a party," Courtney suggested. "Your dad will be gone all weekend right?"

Your eyes lit up at the idea. You gave her a half smile. "Invite all the Kooks you know!" You teased.

She grabbed her phone, ready to send out a mass invite to the rest of the island. You eyed some of the golfer's on the course. You slid your over-sized shades down your nose as you took in the site of one tall, shaggy-haired boy swinging his club around and laughing.

"Message sent!" Courtney squealed.

You watched as the boy took his phone out of his pocket and checked his messages.

"Who's that?" You asked Courtney.

She giggled and rolled her eyes. "That would be Rafe Cameron. Kook King."

Party @ Y/N's. Saturday @ 8. Bring booze.

Rafe read the message and smiled before his eyes flickered up to where you and Courtney sat on the deck of the club.

Rafe's eyes met yours and you grinned at him. He looked back down at his phone and typed out a message.

"Speak of the devil," Courtney said as she witnessed the exchange. "Rafe will be there." She said as she danced her phone in front of your face.

You gave Rafe one more lustful look before you pushed your sunglasses up your nose and turned your attention to the waiter. "2 tequila shots, please!" You asked.

Rafe bit his lip and scanned your body one more time before heading back to his game.

___________________________________

"You almost ready Court?!" You called before throwing back another shot of tequila. You looked in the mirror, making sure all the rhinestones glued to your eyelids were stuck in place over the shimmery blue eyeshadow you had chosen.

Girls here were so basic. You were thankful Courtney still knew how to make a lasting impression.

"Yep!" She said as she came out of the bathroom. Her tight purple dress hugging her skinny form. "What do you think?"

"Cute as fuck!" You said as you motioned for her to twirl around. "Let's show these Kooks how to fucking party!" You said as you grabbed her hand and dragged her downstairs.

Before too much longer the house was bumping with bass from the surround sound that echoed in every room. You laughed as you walked through the crowd of people drinking and dancing. You made your way outside just in time to see someone jump off your roof into your pool.

You were super drunk, seeing double. "Fuck, I need a line." You said to yourself as you ran your fingers through your hair. You made your way back inside towards the nearest bathroom.

You pounded on the door but it remained locked. "Ugh!" You screamed as you made your way towards the laundry room in the back of your house.

You stumbled past the door and closed it behind you, trying to gain control of your senses.

"You good?" You heard a voice say to you.

You jumped, not expecting anyone to be in here. You looked up and locked eyes with Rafe Cameron.

"What are you doing in here?" You asked him

"Drugs." He shrugged before leaning over the dryer and inhaling a large line of cocaine.

"Gimme some," You demanded as you stumbled towards him.

"As you wish, Princess." He smiled, offering you the rolled up bill.

You snorted two lines in a row and smiled as you lifted your head back up, feeling a thousand times better.

"Thanks," You said to him. "I was starting to feel sick."

"No problem," He said, smiling down at you.

Fuck, he was tall. And cuter up close.

"I'm Y/N." You said, offering him your hand.

He brought your hand up to his mouth. "Rafe," He said before placing a soft kiss on your knuckles. The gesture sent chills through your body.

"What brings you to the Outer Banks?" He asks as he turned to cut up more lines.

You boosted yourself up onto the washer. "Dad got a promotion. Does financing for Tesla or something. I don't really know. He's not around much."

"Really?" He asks, genuinely curious.

"Yeah. Pretty much deposits money into my bank account every month and fucks off." You say as your look down, kicking your feet nervously.

"What about your mom?" He asks, handing you the bill.

You jump down and snort another line. "She died when I was really young." You said as you wiped your nose.

"Yea, mine too." He said before bending over to take his line. "Right after my youngest sister was born."

"How many sisters do you have?"

"Two," He responds, pinching his nose. "They're annoying as fuck." He chuckled.

"Hmm," You smiled. "I wish I had siblings." You said.

He eyed you up and down. Making you almost nervous. "What?" You asked.

"Nothing," He chuckled. "You're just uhh...you look really beautiful." He confessed shyly.

You smiled at him. "You're not so bad yourself."

You spent the rest of the night in the laundry room with Rafe. Talking and laughing, completely ignoring the party going on outside. You knew your phone was buzzing but you ignored it as you and Rafe had intimate, coked out discussions. He told you all about his family and you told him about yours. He told you about his passions and his dreams and you were interested in every single detail he had to share.

"Y/N!" You heard Courtney banging on the other side of the door.

"Shit!" You said as you got up from your spot on the floor, letting Courtney in. The light that shined through the door hurt your eyes.

"What the fu-" Courtney began as she noticed you and Rafe sitting across from eachother on the floor. "Is this where you were all night?"

"What are you talking about, Court?" You said as you raised a hand to your eyes to shield you from the light.

"Y/N! It's 9am! Everyone is fucking gone. Besides Topper and Kelce and a few others who passed out in the living room."

"What the fuck?" You asked confused as you made your way to your feet. Your eyes finally adjusting to the light. "Are you serious?"

"How much coke did you guys do?" Courtney laughed as you and Rafe pushed passed her and made your way out to the kitchen.

"Fucking shit." You said as you took in the sight around you. Cups and bottles littered every inch of your house.

"I can call my cleaning lady," Rafe said as he pulled out his phone.

"Uh, yes fucking please," You said. "I'm not cleaning up a party I barely attended."

"You're the one who threw it!" Courtney said, smirking as she crossed her arms.

You turned to flip her off as you made your way to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of Fiji water. You chugged half the bottle before grabbing two more and handing them to Rafe and Courtney.

"Thanks," Rafe said softly. You offered him a small smile and leaned back against the kitchen counter, staring into your living room.

"So who the fuck are these guys?" You ask, taking another sip of water.

"Those would be my best friends," Rafe chuckled.

You gave a sarcastic frown. "Classy," You nodded.

The way Rafe's eyes met yours as he chuckled made you nervous, but excited.

"Morning shots, bitches!" Courtney screamed as she dug out her hidden bottle of tequila and chugged a good shot and a half before handing the bottle to you.

The guys on your couch started to stir. "You guys are already drinking again?" Topper asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"What? Can't keep up with Cali girls?" You teased as you threw back a couple shots from the bottle and passed it to Rafe.

"Bet." He said before taking a swig.

____________

The five of you ended up drunk on the beach. You, Rafe, Courtney, Topper, and Kelce to be exact. Rafe's cleaning staff had come by and you all decided to leave them to it and go enjoy another round of partying.

You and Courtney laughed as you passed the bottle of tequila back and forth.

"Yo, quit hogging. I need some hair of the dog." Kelce said as he reached for the bottle.

"Pussy," You chuckled as you handed it to him. "Come on, Court. Let's swim!"

You and Courtney raced down the sand to the waves and dived in. Little did you know Rafe was watching you intently. He eyed you as you came up from under the water and slicked your hair back. The way you jumped onto your taller best friend and swung around with her. The way you threw your head back and laughed. He saw it all in slow motion as he breathed in the sight of you. You were nothing short of a Goddess and it took everything in him to stay put and watch you from afar.

"She's so hot," Topper drooled as he pressed the bottle of tequila to Rafe's arm, snapping him out of his trance.

"They're both so fucking hot," Kelce added as he watched you and Courtney play closely in the water.

"Haven't you already fucked Court?" Topper asked.

Rafe took the bottle from him and took a short sip before resting his elbows back on his knees, swirling the tequila around in the bottle in front of him.

"Yeah, but like..." Kelce began. "I need to fuck them together." He laughed.

"Shut up, Kelce." Rafe scolded him.

"Whoa man," Kelce said, bringing his arms up in defense. "Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same."

Rafe ignored him, taking another swig. He honestly wouldn't. He didn't look twice at Courtney. All he could see was you. The only thought he had about Courtney was wishing he was in her place right now as he watched you jump into her arms and pull her under water with you.

"Yeah, he's whipped." Kelce concluded. Him and Topper both laughing.

"What?" Rafe asks.

"Bro, we've been trying to get your attention for like five minutes. Pick your jaw up off the floor and wipe the drool from you mouth." Kelce laughed.

____

"I think he likes you," Courtney teased.

"Who?"

"Rafe, dumbass! He's been staring at you for like 30 minutes. It's actually creepy."

You smile, chancing a look at Rafe. He was looking at you and you offered a smile in return. You brought your hand up and waved a couple fingers at him. You could see a hint of red spread across his cheeks and that satisfied you.

"He's cute." You tell Courtney simply as you wade in the water. You enjoyed the warmth the Atlantic had to offer over the ice cold feeling of the Pacific.

"He's cute?" Courtney asked. "Bitch, you were locked in a room with him for like 10 hours. Don't act like something isn't going on."

"We were high," You chuckled. But you remembered every single detail of your conversations with Rafe.

Before Courtney could say anything back, her face fell as she looked toward the beach behind you.

"What?" You ask before turning to meet her gaze.

"Trouble has arrived," Courtney sighed as you spotted Jessica and Maria chatting up the boys.

"Fuck those cunts," You said as you looked back out towards the ocean.

___

"Man, ya'll better get to steppin'," Kelce told the blonde bimbos that just approached him as he nodded toward the water.

Jess and Maria turned to lock eyes with you and Court in the water. Jessica scoffed. "Sluts will be sluts," She said loud enough for you to hear.

"Yeah, how's that nose feeling, bitch?!" Courtney yelled back at her.

"Oh, like it's my fault your little friend caught me off guard!" She yelled back.

"Oh, you wanna go for round two?" You asked as you emerged from the water.

Rafe's eyes scanned your body as water dripped off of your skin and hair.

"Go ahead, bitch!" You said as you came within a couple feet of her. "Throw the first punch!"

Rafe quickly got up and wrapped his arm around your waist. "They aren't worth it, sweetheart." He whispered against your temple as he pulled you back.

"Wow Rafe, didn't peg her as your type." Jess scoffed.

"You know what, go the fuck away!" Rafe yelled at them as he kept a firm grip on your waist, using his other hand to wave the girls off.

"Bye-bye," Courtney waved at them, giving them her devilish smirk. She knew good and well the girls lusted after Rafe and Kelce. She could see the jealousy rise in their faces when Rafe wrapped his arm around Y/N.

"Have fun with the sluts!" The girls yelled as they walked away. Rafe tightened his grip on you as you tried to go after them.

"Yeah, suck my dick, cunt!" You yelled after them.

"Hey, hey, hey," Rafe said as he grabbed at your hips and turned you to face him. "They're just a couple of dumb bitches, don't let them get to you."

"They fucked with Court," You said dryly.

"Hey, let's go to the club, I'll buy you a drink, yeah?" He asked. His fingers brushed your chin lightly as he gently pulled your gaze towards him.

You relaxed a little. "Yeah, okay." You said, offering a small smile.

_____________

You spent the next few weeks with your new crew. Topper still had school, and of course, he was dating Rafe's little sister, Sarah. But he made it a point to come around as often as he could. Sarah wasn't overly thrilled about that considering the way the rest of the island saw you and Courtney. Short skirts, bold make up, colored hair. It was like no one on this island had ever seen a person outside the island before.

But you and Court walked with confidence, swaying your hips as every pair of eyes stayed glued to you. Not to mention the boys trailing closely behind you. You felt like you owned this island.

Apart from Court, Rafe had become your best fucking friend. The two of you were practically glued at the hip. And it didn't go unnoticed that you both had a temper. You both hyped eachother up easily. He'd never met a girl that could party like you. One that could keep up with him. And when you lost your temper, Rafe was able to pick you up and carry you away with one arm before you caused any real damage. And when you could see Rafe ready to knock someone out, your voice calmed him. He melted every time you spoke, as if God herself had come down to whisper in his ear.

But Rafe would never tell you that. He watched as you danced with guys at parties, always keeping an eye on you to make sure they didn't push it too far. It destroyed him to see you cling to another guy, that guy making you smile. But at the end of the night, you were always going home in his truck, laughing and smiling the whole way. He wouldn't dare ruin that.

The group spent a lot of time at your house since your dad was almost never home. Rafe spent the most time there. He had confided in you about how his dad only cares about Sarah and always gives him a hard time.

"Fuck him," You spat. "Wanna kill him?" You ask, raising your eyebrows with a devilish smirk before leaning over your coffee table to rail another line of blow.

Rafe chuckled, knowing you were joking. But he loved the psychotic look that passed over your face.

"But seriously, Rafe," You said as you looked back up to him, pinching your nose and sniffing. "You're a good person. Like, the best person I've ever met. And if your dad can't see that then it's his loss."

"Yeah," He said as he took the rolled up bill from you. "You're right," He leaned over and took his line. "I just, uh, I just wish he'd be like proud of me, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know Rafey." You said, smiling at him softly.

He smiled back at you, taking in all of your features. Your deep, Y/E/C eyes shining up at him under yesterdays glitter. The way your messy hair still made you look like a model. The glow of your highlighter against your tan skin.

"Rafe? Rafe!" You snapped, trying to get his attention.

He snapped out of his trance. "What?" He said, almost surprised.

"Dude, we need to sell the rest of this shit." You told him as you motioned to the eight ball on the table. "Barry is gonna fuck you up. He's expecting his money tomorrow."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it covered." He said. "There's a bonfire on the beach tonight. Like, everyone will be there. We can definitely sell all this."

"Alright, cool. I'll go get ready." You said as you made your way to your bedroom. "Hey, Court is on her way over! Let her in, will you?" You shout back to him as you make your way down the hall.

"Anything for you, sweetheart!" He shouts back.

You blush slightly at his words.

You touched up your make up, throwing some of your signature rhinestones on. Then you pulled on a pretty skimpy red bikini and a pair of dark blue jean shorts over it. You draped yourself in your usual gold jewelry and put in a cute dangly Chanel belly ring.

"Hey bitch," Courtney said as she walked through your door and laid on your bed. "You look hot,"

"Thanks bitch," You said as you sprayed way too much of your KKW perfume on your skin.

"I'm surprised Rafe isn't in here gawking over you as you get ready." She chuckled as she laid on her stomach and rested her chin in her hands.

"We're just friends, Court," You smiled at her. "He's like, my best friend."

"Oh, cuz fuck me right?" Courtney responded.

"You know, other than you, dumb bitch." You chuckled.

Rafe stood outside the door quietly. He had intended to come see if you were ready but he couldn't help but eavesdrop on the girls conversation.

"So you're telling me you're not gonna let Rafe motherfucking Cameron take your virginity?"

Rafe's eyes widened at the statement and suddenly he felt guilty for listening in.

"Court!" You hissed.

"Don't worry! Your secret is safe with me. The whole island still thinks you're a little slut like me." She chuckled. "But bitch, this isn't the 80s, you need to catch a dick!"

"Unlike you, I get pleasure elsewhere." You stated.

Courtney sighed. "An unhealthy addiction to cocaine is hardly what I'd call pleasure. Besides, you've never even done it. How do you know sex wouldn't be better?"

At this point Rafe knew he needed to walk away. He made his way back to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge, trying to calm his nerves.

You and Courtney finally came out of your room. Rafe eyes immediately fall to your breasts, barely contained by the small bikini top. He quickly looks back up to meet your eyes and smiles. "I like your make up," He says softly, hoping you didn't catch him slip up.

"Thank you," You smiled up at him.

"What am I, a fucking side salad?" Courtney huffed.

"Chicken caesar," Rafe shot back. "The best salad in all the land. You look gorgeous as well." He told her.

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Thanks Rafe. I'm always happy to be this steaks side salad," She giggled, gesturing to you.

You all burst out laughing.

"Ya'll are wack," You said as you giggled your way to the kitchen. "Pregame?" You asked, pulling out a bottle of tequila and 3 shot glasses.

"Just one," Rafe says. "Gotta drive the Kook Queens around."

You smile at him before pouring the shots. You slide one to Courtney and Rafe and hold yours up. "To the queens," You smile seductively.

"To the motherfucking queens!" Courtney said before throwing hers back, you and Rafe doing the same. "Hit me again!"

You and Courtney take a few more shots before you're feeling buzzed enough to be social. "Let's make some money!" You say as your jump onto Rafe and cling to his neck. He spins you around once before putting you down.

"Let's do it," He says with a smirk as he ushered you and Courtney out the door.

He opens the passenger door for you to climb into his truck before opening the back door for Courtney. Once you are both comfortably inside he shuts the door and makes his way to the driver's side.

"Bluetooth!" You scream at Rafe, ready to play your music.

"Okay, okay," He says. He taps a few buttons on the screen until it says your phone is connected. "Here ya go, sweetheart."

"You know what?" You say, cocaine and alcohol sending a nice chill through your body. "I feel fucking good!"

"Amen to that!" Court says from the back seat, taking a swig from the bottle of tequila.

"I wanna show you guys a song," You say, scrolling through your phone. "Bump this shit and tell me it doesn't make you feel fucking Euphoric!"

All the windows were down and you and Court leaned back out the window, letting your hair fly in the wind. You held her hand as you both laughed with happiness.

Rafe's eyes scanned your body. Your arched back as you leaned out the window. Your skin was perfectly tan and your body jewelry clung to you just right.

He had to pry his eyes away to keep them on the road. But you were right. He felt fucking euphoric.

"All for us," He whispered to himself.

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

[singinginthecar]

south africa was banned in the olympics in 1964, 1968, 1972, 1976, 1980, 1984, 1988 & 1992. a total of 8 times. for 28 years they didn't set foot in the olympics. you know why? apartheid. apparently the olympics disagreed with the apartheid regime in south africa. russia & belarus aren't allowed to take part in the olympics this year. you know why? because of their involvement in the war in ukraine. several countries throughout history haven't been allowed to participate in the olympics because of various reason from their involvement in war to human rights abuses. now if the olympics aren't blind to all that... why in the world are they blind to what israel has been doing to gaza for the past 10 months? why is a genocidal apartheid nation allowed to participate in the olympics when any other country in its place would've been banned?

[almondpiglet]

ppl were drawing mikus from all over so heres habesha miku and her lil twin sibs rin and len!!

[beaft]

do genuinely find it fascinating how indeed.com is like the biggest job-hunting website out there and yet manages to be profoundly useless in every possible way

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[werewolf-transgenderism]

keep seeing undergrads on social media saying “oh if a prof has a strict no-AI academic integrity policy that’s a red flag for me because that means they don’t know how to design assignments” like sorry girl but that just sounds like you’ve got a case of sour grapes about not being allowed to cheat with the plagiarism machine that doesn’t know how to evaluate sources and kills the environment! I have a strict no-AI policy because if you use AI to write your essays for a writing course it’s literally plagiarism because you didn’t write it and you’re not learning any of the things the course teaches if you just plug a prompt into the plagiarism generator that kills the environment, hope this helps!

[dendrochronologies]

maya angelou saying the funniest thing anyone has ever said about editing, which i can never let myself forget EVER AGAIN [x]

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[xgoldenlatiasx]

I’m really glad that Aaron’s self-immolation for Palestine is getting attention, but on November 8th there was also a Congolese man who did the same thing for the genocide happening in the DRC. From what I read in the article above, his fate and identity are unknown but I think his story should be getting equal amount of traction and I haven’t really seen anyone talking about it on Tumblr specifically yet.

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.

For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.

I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.

[loveesiren]

Doing It All For Us (Pt. 2)

Masterlist

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: Rafe protects Y/n and learns more about her.

Warnings: Swearing, drinking, drugs, fighting, mentions of death and gun violence, fluff

Word Count: 3.2k+

By the time you pulled up to the party you were on cloud 9. You and Courtney held hands and skipped together towards the fire, bottle of tequila still half full. Rafe trailed behind you guys and smiled as he watched how happy you were.

You and Courtney started dancing and taking shots while Rafe made his way around the party trying to sell the rest of the coke.

"Hey ladies!" Kelce said as him, Topper, and Sarah approached you.

"Hey!" You said, giving them all a hug. You knew Sarah didn't like you much but you were feeling too good to care. "How are you guys?"

"Fucking lit!" Topper said.

"Fucking saaaaame!" Courtney said as she took a swig from the bottle.

You chuckled and scanned around to find Rafe. He was sitting down surrounded by a few other girls. You unknowingly clenched your jaw at the sight.

Rafe glanced back at you and met your eyes. He gave you a smirk and wiped his nose, indicating he was taking care of business. You smiled and nodded at him as you directed your attention back to the conversation.

"Fuckin' Pogues," Courtney spat. You turned to follow her gaze to see a group of people walking up the beach.

You'd seen them around the island. John B, JJ, Pope, and Kiara. You knew their names but you were always too busy to pay them any attention.

You felt a hand snake around your shoulder. You looked up to see Rafe and you smiled. "Hey," You said.

"Hey," His eyes were soft and his smile was warm. Something about him being so close to you gave you a sense of calm you didn't know you needed.

"Sell it all?" You asked.

He pressed his tongue to his cheek as he nodded. "Yeah, but it's not enough."

"Fuck," You said.

"Don't worry, I have a plan." Rafe assured you as held you closer to him and lead you towards the cooler to get a drink.

A few girls glared at you as you walked. You weren't exactly sure why. Courtney had remained your only real girl friend since you moved here. Most girls seemed to hate you. You knew it was probably jealousy. But for what? Did they want to look like you? You'd be happy to do make overs if any of them gave you the time of day. Were they annoyed that there was a new girl in town taking up all the attention? Or was it the fact that you had gotten so close to Figure Eights ultimate Kook King?

The more you thought about, the more you realized that Rafe was practically always with you. It seemed normal now.

"You okay?" He asked as he handed you a seltzer from the cooler.

"Yeah, yeah, it's just..."

"What?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"You're always with me."

His face fell slightly at your words. "Do you not want me around?" He asked.

"No, I do! I love hanging out with you. Seriously,"

"Then what's the problem?"

You sigh. "I feel like I take up all your time. People seem to hate me for some reason and I feel like I've taken you away from your friends."

Rafe chuckled.

"What?" You ask.

"Look, you're my friend. And Kelce and Top and even Court. All these other people," He waves his hand around the sea of people. "Just people I get fucked up with."

"Isn't that what we do?"

"Yeah. It is. But we talk too. About, like, everything. Everything you say is so fucking...interesting. I can barely stand talking to these other people for five minutes."

You smile up at him and he returns the gesture. You quickly wrap your arms around his waist and pull him close to you. He's so much taller than you. He wraps his arms around your neck and rests his head in your hair as he hugs you tightly.

You break away from him far sooner than he would have liked. Before you can get another word in, you hear shouting coming from down by the water.

You turn to see Topper and Kelce arguing with JJ and John B. It wasn't long before things got physical.

"Fucking Pogues," Rafe said as the two of you started toward the commotion.

"Kick his ass, Top!" Courtney yells.

"Why would you encourage them?" You hear Kiara say to Courtney.

"Why the fuck is your boy starting shit?" She responded.

You both laugh.

"Bitches," You hear Kiara mutter.

"What was that?" You say as you step around Courtney and get in her face.

"I said you're a bitch!" Kiara repeats herself.

You push her back and as she struggles to catch her balance you deck her in the left eye.

"Oh, shit!" Courtney laughs as she watches Kiara hit you back but you were quick to punch her square in the nose and she fell down.

"You wanna talk more shit, cunt?!" You scream at her as you grab her hair and hit her again.

"Get off me!" She spat at you, hitting you as best she could which was not very effective.

"Goddamit," Rafe muttered as he turned away from Topper and John B and ran over to you.

"Topper stop! You're gonna drown him!" You hear Sarah cry.

"John B!" Kiara yells as she tries to push you away.

You feel strong arms wrap around your torso but you continue to swing.

Suddenly, you hear gunfire. Rafe pulls you off Kiara and falls to the ground, holding you tightly and shielding your with his body.

"JJ stop!" You hear Pope scream.

"Get the hell off our side of the island!" JJ screams, firing the gun two more times.

You realized you were clinging to Rafe's arm, nails digging into his skin so hard you knew he was probably bleeding.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly, he lips pressed to your temple.

"Yeah, yes. Can we go home please?"

"Yeah, come on I got you." He says as he gets up, still holding you close.

You tried to choke back tears as Rafe lead you to his truck. Memories of your childhood came flooding back.

Rafe helped you into the passenger seat and Court and Kelce climbed in the back. "Where's Top?" You heard Courtney ask.

"Left with Sarah. What the hell was that?!" Kelce said.

Courtney leaned forward and put a hand on your shoulder. "Y/N, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Court." You said, shrugging her hand off before Rafe climbed into the driver's seat and quickly drove away from the party.

"Fucking Pogues, dude!" He said, clearly angry.

"I can't believe JJ pulled a gun on Top dude. Fucking psycho." Kelce responded.

"This ain't over," Rafe said before pulling out his phone to call Topper.

You barely paid attention to the conversations around you as you stared out the window.

When you finally got back to your house Kelce and Court seemed fine, ready to go back to drinking and flirting like they had been all night.

You kept your head down and made your way to your room.

"Y/N-"

"I'm fine." You cut Rafe off and stormed upstairs.

Rafe chewed on his cheek for a minute before turning and heading back to where Kelce and Courtney were.

"I think I'm gonna head home," Rafe said, a hint of sorrow in his voice.

"I wouldn't do that," Courtney responded. Rafe gave her a questioning look. "Look," She sighs. "It's not my place to tell. But give her like an hour. I think she's gonna need you."

Rafe pondered her words for a minute. Having a gun go off in a close proximity is scary for pretty much anyone. But you seemed to be a lot more shook up than everyone else.

Rafe wondered if there was something you hadn't yet told him. He'd gotten to know you really well over the past month and a half but surely there was plenty more to learn about you. And more than anything he wanted to be there for you when you were ready to talk about it.

"Okay," He agreed and sat down on one of the barstools at the kitchen counter. "Pour me a shot."

——————

About an hour later, Courtney and Kelce retired to the guest room. Rafe paced for a few minutes before finally deciding to go check on you.

He reached your door and knocked lightly.

"What?" Your voice was weak and pained.

"Y/N? It's Rafe. A-are you okay?" He asked.

You were silent for a moment. You were upset and scared but you needed someone. You needed Rafe.

"Come in." You finally said.

Rafe slowly opened one side of the huge double doors that lead to your bedroom. You had taken off your make up and washed your face. You pulled your naturally wavy locks into a high ponytail, a few strands loose in the front that fell across your face. You'd put on baggy plaid pajama pants and a small black tank top. Rafe swore he'd never seen a more beautiful sight in his life.

"Hey," He said nervously.

You looked up to face him. Your eyes were red from crying but the Y/E/C of your iris still sparkled in a way that made his heart skip a beat.

"Hey," You said, offering a small smile. You held out a hand to him motioning for him to come sit with you.

He sat down beside you on the bed. "Do you need me to get you anything?"

You shook your head. "I think I just need to sleep." You told him.

"Okay, yeah, that will probably help you feel better." He agreed. "I can crash on the couch, just let me know if you ne-"

"No, Rafe," You cut him off. "Please stay with me."

He stared at you for a moment as you moved over in your bed and pulled the covers back, inviting him to come lay beside you.

"Okay," He said nervously, but he was happy at your request. It wasn't like the two of you hadn't passed out next to eachother before. But tonight seemed different.

He kicked off his shoes and laid down beside you. You moved close to him and wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling your head into his chest. He wrapped an arm around you and brought his other hand to your hair, twirling the strands between his fingers.

"Thank you," You whispered against him. "You make me feel safe."

Rafe smiled widely at the sound of those words falling from your lips.

"You know I'll always take care of you," He said before pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "Get some rest, sweetheart."

Sleep came easily to both of you that night. The nightmares you were scared that would surface never came and instead you slept dreamlessly and peacefully.

___________________

Your eyes fluttered open to the sunlight peaking through your window. You could feel the rise and fall of Rafe's chest underneath you and you felt warm inside.

You remained quiet, listening to the soft beating of his heart. He began to stir 10 minutes later.

"Morning," He said sleepily as he ran his fingers up and down the length of your shoulder.

"Goodmorning," You responded. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Amazing," He confessed with a smile. "Are you feeling better?"

You nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry about last night."

"Why are you sorry?" He asked.

"It's just...I don't like guns."

"I understand."

You sighed as you clung to him tighter. "You know how my mom died when I was little?"

"You mentioned it. The night of your party." He responded.

"Yeah, well, she died when I was six..." You began.

Rafe was quiet. He played with your hair, untangling the parts that got twisted together amidst your sleep as he listened to you.

"It was just me and her at home one night. I was in my room watching cartoons. Spongebob, I think..." You chuckle at the last part. "My mom was downstairs making dinner." You take in a shaky breath. "I heard commotion. Men yelling and my mom yelling back. She was scared. When I went to the door to listen, I heard three shots. They scared me. I ran and hid under my bed and covered my ears. I thought maybe they were fire works at first but then I heard the men yelling again. There were two more shots before it finally went quiet."

Rafe held his breath and squeezed you tighter.

"I stayed in my room for like an hour before I finally thought it might be safe to go downstairs. I yelled for my mom but she never responded." You closed your eyes and swallowed. "When I finally got to the kitchen, I-I found her..." Your voice cracked.

"Shhh," Rafe soothed, pulling you close and tucking your head to his neck. His arms were tight around you and you felt a that familiar calmness rush over you.

You both sat in a comfortable silence for a while. You were never uncomfortable around Rafe. Since you met him he'd always brought you peace.

"Are Kelce and Court still here?" You finally asked as you sat up and faced him.

"Most likely. They stayed up drinking then moved it to your guest room."

You rolled your eyes. "Great," You chuckled. "Guess I'll be scrubbing that room today." You began to get up but Rafe grabbed your wrist and you turned to face him.

"Or," He began. "We could call a maid and go get lunch at the club."

You smiled at him. "That sounds a lot better,"

"Cool," He smiled. "I just have to take care of a few things. Meet you there? 1:30?"

"Perfect." You agreed. "I'm gonna shower." You said as you ran to your bathroom and closed the door behind you.

Rafe laid in your bed a few moments longer, smiling to himself as he reminisced on the fact that you slept in his arms all night.

______________________________

You brushed purple eyeshadow on your eyes with an orange liner. You felt lighter today. The trauma of last night fading away. You applied some concealer on the small bruise forming on your cheek where Kiara had punched you, chuckling at the fact that's all she left on you.

You threw on a lilac blouse and slipped into some light jean shorts. Giving yourself a once over in the mirror before you grabbed your purse and sandals and made your way downstairs.

"Are those my clothes, slut?" You asked Courtney as you entered the kitchen.

"Yup," She declared before popping a blueberry in her mouth. "Kelce ripped my skirt."

"It was an accident!" He protested.

"You guys are sick." You chuckled as you went to the fridge and grabbed a Fiji water. The only water you would drink.

"We're headed to the club, wanna come?" Kelce asked.

"Uh yeah, I'm actually supposed to meet Rafe."

"He didn't stay over?" Courtney asked.

"No, he did. He just had to do some things this morning."

"Cool! I'll drive!" Kelce announced. You realized you rarely drove your Benz Truck anywhere anymore.

You locked up your house and set the alarm before you all climbed in Kelce's BMW.

You pulled up to the club at exactly 1:30pm but there was no signs of Rafe's truck or his bike. You brushed it off and followed Courtney and Kelce into the club.

"I'm gonna run to the bathroom," You announced, starting to feel uneasy.

Once you got into one of the stalls and locked it behind you you quickly pulled out a small bag of cocaine from your purse. You used your long acrylic nail on your pinky finger to scoop out a bump and you snorted it, throwing your head back before you went for one more. You licked the residue that still coated your nail before putting it back in your bag and flushing the toilet. You came out and quickly washed your hands before heading back to the table.

Still no sign of Rafe.

"What can I get you guys?" A familiar voice asks. You look up to see JJ waiting to take your order.

"Oh, that's fucking rich." Courtney scoffs.

Anxiety fills your body as you look up to him.

JJ tries his best to control his composure, not wanting to lose his cool on the job. Even though you had all gotten in a pretty rough fight last night, JJ realized that the three of you, being rich customers, had the upper hand and he couldn't afford to lose his job.

"3 Mai Tai's," Kelce answers.

"I'll need to see your IDs." He states. Kelce laughs but hands over his fake. You and Courtney do the same.

"Make that 4, my friend." Rafe says, placing a hand on JJ's shoulder and slipping him his fake ID as well before pushing him towards the bar and away from your table.

You instantly let out a sigh of relief as the sight of Rafe. He sits down next to you, placing his arm across the back of your chair and leaning over to you.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah," You smile at him. "Are you?"

Rafe sighs. "Talk about it later," He promised.

You noticed the fresh burn on his left forearm. "Rafe, your arm!"

"It's fine," He reassures you as he hides his arm under the table.

JJ came back with your drinks. "Any food for you guys?"

"Not hungry," You muttered as you took a long sip of your drink.

"She'll have the salmon," Rafe told him.

"Rafe-"

"You need to eat, sweetheart." He said softly.

You smiled as everyone else ordered their food. You giggled at the way Rafe knew your favorite meal.

After a few more Mai Tai's, you were happy you had all made it through lunch, despite JJ being your server. You could not handle anymore drama today.

The four of you made your way down to the beach. Courtney and Kelce drunkenly clinging to eachother and laughing. You and Rafe trailed behind.

"You gonna tell me what happened to your arm?" You asked, genuinely concerned.

Rafe sighed. "Late on payment."

"I thought you had a plan?" You asked him.

"I do, I do, I just...haven't gotten to it yet."

"Rafe-"

"Listen," He began, grabbing your shoulders and turning you to face him. "I'm gonna take care of it okay? After I drop you off at home. I promise."

Something about the way he's looking at you tells you to keep your mouth shut.

"Okay." You respond softly.

He gives you a half smile and pulls you into him, cradling your head against his chest. You stood and held eachother in silence for a moment.

"Are you guys coming?" Courtney yelled to you.

"I'm gonna take her home!" Rafe yelled back. "We'll see you guys later!"

"Suit yourself!" Kelce yelled back before him and Courtney continued down the beach.

Rafe walked you to his truck and opened the passenger door, helping you inside. Once you were comfortable, he shut the door and jogged to the drivers side.

He turned on the engine and put his car in drive.

"Rafe?" You say, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Please be safe." You tell him, your eyes full of worry.

He sees your expression and offers you a smile. He reached over and placed his hand on your knee. "Don't worry, sweetheart."

Something about his words ease away all your worry. You trust him fully.

You stare out the window as you drive. The sunset fading from orange to pink to lilac and the sight made you feel at peace.

"Want to play some music?" Rafe asks, already connecting your phone to bluetooth.

"Sure," You smile. "Turn it up."

He does as he's told and you press play.

You both relaxed as you felt the bass vibrate against your seats. Rafe slowly slipped his fingers between yours as he watched you wave your other arm out the window. You seemed so content and at peace. To everyone else on the island you were a bad-ass party girl. But when he looked at you he saw vulnerability, excitement for life, a big heart, and the beauty of a goddess. He'd never been so grateful for someone in his entire life.

As the song went on, Rafe swore it was his new favorite song. Because every time he'd hear it he would think of this perfect moment. Fresh summer air blowing through your hair as he clung to the hand of the woman he loved.

[leiandroid]

"free palestine," he shouted until his last breath. aaron bushnell, we will never forget you.

as much as bushnell's actions has moved us all, please seek other ways to take actionable measures against the injustices we face in the world. none of us wanted him gone, and the least we can do is prevent another such tragedy by supporting each other in our efforts to enact lasting change.

[hinamie]

10 years later

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hey now, Let her cook!

[pigswithwings]

above all else a trans woman is a person. above all else a trans women is a woman who goes to the same grocery store as you and buys fruits in the same grocery cart as you and goes home and eats her dinner the same as you. above all else a trans woman is a woman who dresses like you do and talks the same way you do. above all else a trans woman is a woman who wants to be cared about the same way you want to be cared about and a trans woman is a woman who makes friends the same way you make friends. above all else you should care about trans women because they are people. treat her as such.