#diafu

[loveesiren]

Doing It All For Us (Pt. 1)

Masterlist

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: Y/n moves to the Outer Banks from California, reuniting with her best friend. She's quickly introduced to Rafe Cameron, the psychotic Kook King of Figure out.

Warnings: Drug use, drinking, swearing, virginity, slut shaming, fighting, toxic

Word Count: 4.4k

As soon as Rafe Cameron laid eyes on you, it was over for every other fucking girl on the island. The way your hips swayed in your little black dress. The why the glitter coating your eyelids shimmered when the light hit them just so. The jewelry that clung to your skin. You were breathtaking.

Rafe couldn't pick his jaw up off the floor as you walked past him, not even glancing in his direction. The two girls sitting beside him stared at you with hatre filled eyes.

"What's her name?" Rafe asked, his eyes focused on your figure as you walked up to a group of people at the party.

Topper and Kelce burst out laughing. Rafe turned to face them. "What?"

"Dude, she will squash you like bug," Kelce laughed.

"Her name." Rafe demanded.

Kelce sighed. "Y/N Y/L/N." He responded. "Just moved here from California. The new Kook Queen if you ask me."

"Her dad works for Elon Musk or some shit, dude. She's filthy fucking rich." Topper added.

"Who cares?" One of the girls, Jessica, asks as she clings to Rafe's arm.

"She ain't shit," Maria said.

Rafe pays them no mind as he brings his eyes back to you. Dark hair, perfectly straightened, falling to the small of your back.

"Let's go say hi to the new girl," Maria suggests as Jessica gets up to join her.

You and Courtney are throwing your heads back with laughter when two girls approach you.

"Courtney, gonna introduce us to your friend?" Maria asked.

Courtney sighed. "What do you cunts want?"

"Wow, so rude! We just wanted to give the newest member of the island a warm welcome." She said as she turned to you. You scoffed at her sarcasm.

"I'm Maria, and this is Jess," Maria said as she extended a hand to you.

You curled your left hand back, pulling your drink to your shoulder as your other hand reached out to grip hers firmly.

"Y/N." You gave a bitchy smile.

"So, are you here to be the next biggest slut on the island? Not sure you could compete with Courtney here." Jessica asked.

You glanced at Courtney, her eyes full of hurt but she quickly looked to the floor.

You turned back to her. "Ha, funny!" You said before throwing your drink in her face and grabbing her hair, quickly slamming her face down into the beer pong table beside you.

"Holy shit!" The guys around the table said as they stepped back. Rafe stood up quickly and watched you as you continuously slammed this girls face into the table.

You pulled her head back so that you could look at the work you'd done on her face. "Keep Courtney's name out of your mouth. Keep my name out of your mouth. That way, I won't have to finish your bitch ass off, cunt!" You yelled to her before dropping her to the floor. Maria was quickly by her side.

"Anyone else have a fucking problem?!" You yelled, scanning the room as everyone stared at you. You were met with silence and shaking heads. "Cool! I'm Y/N, I just moved here." You announced, a satisfied smile on your face. "Nice to meet you all!" You chuckled before turning around and walking out of the party.

"Goddamn dude!" Topper and Kelce conversed as they clung to eachothers shoulders. Rafe watched you leave, paying attention to the confidence in your stride. I small smile broke across his face.

Rafe Cameron was in love.

___________

You sat at the table sipping your mimosa. Courtney mirroring your behavior across from you. "Ugh," You groaned. "I'm never doing that much coke again!"

"Never again," Courtney repeated as she rested her head against the base of her palm.

You had woken up in time to get brunch at the club. Well actually, you barely ever went to sleep. You knew you wouldn't be able to eat much but you definitely needed your morning mimosa to nurse this hangover.

Your navy blue bikini hugged your body tight, dangerously close to exposing you. Gold chains clung to your waist and arms. Eyeliner big and bold, lined with your signature rhinestones. You could feel eyes judging you and the thought made you giggle.

"So how do you like the island so far?" Courtney asked, taking a small bite of her toast.

"It's different," You admitted. "But it's cute. The parties are fun." You winked at her.

"Yeah, everyone is talking about that." Courtney giggled. "You haven't even been here two weeks and you already beat the shit out of one of the islands most adored Kooks."

You chuckled. Courtney had explained the Kooks and Pogues to you. It made you laugh. You thought the concept was silly. But when you drove to the Cut to pick up coke from Barry, you realized why there were two entirely different worlds inhabiting the island.

Courtney was full Kook. Tall, thin, blonde. She had been your childhood best friend back in LA. When she moved to the Outer Banks for her dads new job at 16, you stayed in close contact. When your dad told you you'd be moving out there with him because he got promoted, you were ecstatic. Saying goodbye to California was hard but you were so excited to start a new adventure with your best friend.

Your dad bought a nice little mansion in Figure Eight. A few houses down from Courtney's. It was just the two of you, and your dad traveled a lot. Courtney often came over to keep you company in the large house.

You had the master bedroom. The ceiling was tall, plenty of windows for the southern sun to shine through. A fire place under your tv. A HUGE walk in closet with a huge bathroom to match. Your dad opted for the bedroom on the other side of the house. The one that connected to his office. Needless to say, he was always in there or traveling. The rest of the house was practically yours.

"You should throw a party," Courtney suggested. "Your dad will be gone all weekend right?"

Your eyes lit up at the idea. You gave her a half smile. "Invite all the Kooks you know!" You teased.

She grabbed her phone, ready to send out a mass invite to the rest of the island. You eyed some of the golfer's on the course. You slid your over-sized shades down your nose as you took in the site of one tall, shaggy-haired boy swinging his club around and laughing.

"Message sent!" Courtney squealed.

You watched as the boy took his phone out of his pocket and checked his messages.

"Who's that?" You asked Courtney.

She giggled and rolled her eyes. "That would be Rafe Cameron. Kook King."

Party @ Y/N's. Saturday @ 8. Bring booze.

Rafe read the message and smiled before his eyes flickered up to where you and Courtney sat on the deck of the club.

Rafe's eyes met yours and you grinned at him. He looked back down at his phone and typed out a message.

"Speak of the devil," Courtney said as she witnessed the exchange. "Rafe will be there." She said as she danced her phone in front of your face.

You gave Rafe one more lustful look before you pushed your sunglasses up your nose and turned your attention to the waiter. "2 tequila shots, please!" You asked.

Rafe bit his lip and scanned your body one more time before heading back to his game.

___________________________________

"You almost ready Court?!" You called before throwing back another shot of tequila. You looked in the mirror, making sure all the rhinestones glued to your eyelids were stuck in place over the shimmery blue eyeshadow you had chosen.

Girls here were so basic. You were thankful Courtney still knew how to make a lasting impression.

"Yep!" She said as she came out of the bathroom. Her tight purple dress hugging her skinny form. "What do you think?"

"Cute as fuck!" You said as you motioned for her to twirl around. "Let's show these Kooks how to fucking party!" You said as you grabbed her hand and dragged her downstairs.

Before too much longer the house was bumping with bass from the surround sound that echoed in every room. You laughed as you walked through the crowd of people drinking and dancing. You made your way outside just in time to see someone jump off your roof into your pool.

You were super drunk, seeing double. "Fuck, I need a line." You said to yourself as you ran your fingers through your hair. You made your way back inside towards the nearest bathroom.

You pounded on the door but it remained locked. "Ugh!" You screamed as you made your way towards the laundry room in the back of your house.

You stumbled past the door and closed it behind you, trying to gain control of your senses.

"You good?" You heard a voice say to you.

You jumped, not expecting anyone to be in here. You looked up and locked eyes with Rafe Cameron.

"What are you doing in here?" You asked him

"Drugs." He shrugged before leaning over the dryer and inhaling a large line of cocaine.

"Gimme some," You demanded as you stumbled towards him.

"As you wish, Princess." He smiled, offering you the rolled up bill.

You snorted two lines in a row and smiled as you lifted your head back up, feeling a thousand times better.

"Thanks," You said to him. "I was starting to feel sick."

"No problem," He said, smiling down at you.

Fuck, he was tall. And cuter up close.

"I'm Y/N." You said, offering him your hand.

He brought your hand up to his mouth. "Rafe," He said before placing a soft kiss on your knuckles. The gesture sent chills through your body.

"What brings you to the Outer Banks?" He asks as he turned to cut up more lines.

You boosted yourself up onto the washer. "Dad got a promotion. Does financing for Tesla or something. I don't really know. He's not around much."

"Really?" He asks, genuinely curious.

"Yeah. Pretty much deposits money into my bank account every month and fucks off." You say as your look down, kicking your feet nervously.

"What about your mom?" He asks, handing you the bill.

You jump down and snort another line. "She died when I was really young." You said as you wiped your nose.

"Yea, mine too." He said before bending over to take his line. "Right after my youngest sister was born."

"How many sisters do you have?"

"Two," He responds, pinching his nose. "They're annoying as fuck." He chuckled.

"Hmm," You smiled. "I wish I had siblings." You said.

He eyed you up and down. Making you almost nervous. "What?" You asked.

"Nothing," He chuckled. "You're just uhh...you look really beautiful." He confessed shyly.

You smiled at him. "You're not so bad yourself."

You spent the rest of the night in the laundry room with Rafe. Talking and laughing, completely ignoring the party going on outside. You knew your phone was buzzing but you ignored it as you and Rafe had intimate, coked out discussions. He told you all about his family and you told him about yours. He told you about his passions and his dreams and you were interested in every single detail he had to share.

"Y/N!" You heard Courtney banging on the other side of the door.

"Shit!" You said as you got up from your spot on the floor, letting Courtney in. The light that shined through the door hurt your eyes.

"What the fu-" Courtney began as she noticed you and Rafe sitting across from eachother on the floor. "Is this where you were all night?"

"What are you talking about, Court?" You said as you raised a hand to your eyes to shield you from the light.

"Y/N! It's 9am! Everyone is fucking gone. Besides Topper and Kelce and a few others who passed out in the living room."

"What the fuck?" You asked confused as you made your way to your feet. Your eyes finally adjusting to the light. "Are you serious?"

"How much coke did you guys do?" Courtney laughed as you and Rafe pushed passed her and made your way out to the kitchen.

"Fucking shit." You said as you took in the sight around you. Cups and bottles littered every inch of your house.

"I can call my cleaning lady," Rafe said as he pulled out his phone.

"Uh, yes fucking please," You said. "I'm not cleaning up a party I barely attended."

"You're the one who threw it!" Courtney said, smirking as she crossed her arms.

You turned to flip her off as you made your way to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of Fiji water. You chugged half the bottle before grabbing two more and handing them to Rafe and Courtney.

"Thanks," Rafe said softly. You offered him a small smile and leaned back against the kitchen counter, staring into your living room.

"So who the fuck are these guys?" You ask, taking another sip of water.

"Those would be my best friends," Rafe chuckled.

You gave a sarcastic frown. "Classy," You nodded.

The way Rafe's eyes met yours as he chuckled made you nervous, but excited.

"Morning shots, bitches!" Courtney screamed as she dug out her hidden bottle of tequila and chugged a good shot and a half before handing the bottle to you.

The guys on your couch started to stir. "You guys are already drinking again?" Topper asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"What? Can't keep up with Cali girls?" You teased as you threw back a couple shots from the bottle and passed it to Rafe.

"Bet." He said before taking a swig.

____________

The five of you ended up drunk on the beach. You, Rafe, Courtney, Topper, and Kelce to be exact. Rafe's cleaning staff had come by and you all decided to leave them to it and go enjoy another round of partying.

You and Courtney laughed as you passed the bottle of tequila back and forth.

"Yo, quit hogging. I need some hair of the dog." Kelce said as he reached for the bottle.

"Pussy," You chuckled as you handed it to him. "Come on, Court. Let's swim!"

You and Courtney raced down the sand to the waves and dived in. Little did you know Rafe was watching you intently. He eyed you as you came up from under the water and slicked your hair back. The way you jumped onto your taller best friend and swung around with her. The way you threw your head back and laughed. He saw it all in slow motion as he breathed in the sight of you. You were nothing short of a Goddess and it took everything in him to stay put and watch you from afar.

"She's so hot," Topper drooled as he pressed the bottle of tequila to Rafe's arm, snapping him out of his trance.

"They're both so fucking hot," Kelce added as he watched you and Courtney play closely in the water.

"Haven't you already fucked Court?" Topper asked.

Rafe took the bottle from him and took a short sip before resting his elbows back on his knees, swirling the tequila around in the bottle in front of him.

"Yeah, but like..." Kelce began. "I need to fuck them together." He laughed.

"Shut up, Kelce." Rafe scolded him.

"Whoa man," Kelce said, bringing his arms up in defense. "Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same."

Rafe ignored him, taking another swig. He honestly wouldn't. He didn't look twice at Courtney. All he could see was you. The only thought he had about Courtney was wishing he was in her place right now as he watched you jump into her arms and pull her under water with you.

"Yeah, he's whipped." Kelce concluded. Him and Topper both laughing.

"What?" Rafe asks.

"Bro, we've been trying to get your attention for like five minutes. Pick your jaw up off the floor and wipe the drool from you mouth." Kelce laughed.

____

"I think he likes you," Courtney teased.

"Who?"

"Rafe, dumbass! He's been staring at you for like 30 minutes. It's actually creepy."

You smile, chancing a look at Rafe. He was looking at you and you offered a smile in return. You brought your hand up and waved a couple fingers at him. You could see a hint of red spread across his cheeks and that satisfied you.

"He's cute." You tell Courtney simply as you wade in the water. You enjoyed the warmth the Atlantic had to offer over the ice cold feeling of the Pacific.

"He's cute?" Courtney asked. "Bitch, you were locked in a room with him for like 10 hours. Don't act like something isn't going on."

"We were high," You chuckled. But you remembered every single detail of your conversations with Rafe.

Before Courtney could say anything back, her face fell as she looked toward the beach behind you.

"What?" You ask before turning to meet her gaze.

"Trouble has arrived," Courtney sighed as you spotted Jessica and Maria chatting up the boys.

"Fuck those cunts," You said as you looked back out towards the ocean.

___

"Man, ya'll better get to steppin'," Kelce told the blonde bimbos that just approached him as he nodded toward the water.

Jess and Maria turned to lock eyes with you and Court in the water. Jessica scoffed. "Sluts will be sluts," She said loud enough for you to hear.

"Yeah, how's that nose feeling, bitch?!" Courtney yelled back at her.

"Oh, like it's my fault your little friend caught me off guard!" She yelled back.

"Oh, you wanna go for round two?" You asked as you emerged from the water.

Rafe's eyes scanned your body as water dripped off of your skin and hair.

"Go ahead, bitch!" You said as you came within a couple feet of her. "Throw the first punch!"

Rafe quickly got up and wrapped his arm around your waist. "They aren't worth it, sweetheart." He whispered against your temple as he pulled you back.

"Wow Rafe, didn't peg her as your type." Jess scoffed.

"You know what, go the fuck away!" Rafe yelled at them as he kept a firm grip on your waist, using his other hand to wave the girls off.

"Bye-bye," Courtney waved at them, giving them her devilish smirk. She knew good and well the girls lusted after Rafe and Kelce. She could see the jealousy rise in their faces when Rafe wrapped his arm around Y/N.

"Have fun with the sluts!" The girls yelled as they walked away. Rafe tightened his grip on you as you tried to go after them.

"Yeah, suck my dick, cunt!" You yelled after them.

"Hey, hey, hey," Rafe said as he grabbed at your hips and turned you to face him. "They're just a couple of dumb bitches, don't let them get to you."

"They fucked with Court," You said dryly.

"Hey, let's go to the club, I'll buy you a drink, yeah?" He asked. His fingers brushed your chin lightly as he gently pulled your gaze towards him.

You relaxed a little. "Yeah, okay." You said, offering a small smile.

_____________

You spent the next few weeks with your new crew. Topper still had school, and of course, he was dating Rafe's little sister, Sarah. But he made it a point to come around as often as he could. Sarah wasn't overly thrilled about that considering the way the rest of the island saw you and Courtney. Short skirts, bold make up, colored hair. It was like no one on this island had ever seen a person outside the island before.

But you and Court walked with confidence, swaying your hips as every pair of eyes stayed glued to you. Not to mention the boys trailing closely behind you. You felt like you owned this island.

Apart from Court, Rafe had become your best fucking friend. The two of you were practically glued at the hip. And it didn't go unnoticed that you both had a temper. You both hyped eachother up easily. He'd never met a girl that could party like you. One that could keep up with him. And when you lost your temper, Rafe was able to pick you up and carry you away with one arm before you caused any real damage. And when you could see Rafe ready to knock someone out, your voice calmed him. He melted every time you spoke, as if God herself had come down to whisper in his ear.

But Rafe would never tell you that. He watched as you danced with guys at parties, always keeping an eye on you to make sure they didn't push it too far. It destroyed him to see you cling to another guy, that guy making you smile. But at the end of the night, you were always going home in his truck, laughing and smiling the whole way. He wouldn't dare ruin that.

The group spent a lot of time at your house since your dad was almost never home. Rafe spent the most time there. He had confided in you about how his dad only cares about Sarah and always gives him a hard time.

"Fuck him," You spat. "Wanna kill him?" You ask, raising your eyebrows with a devilish smirk before leaning over your coffee table to rail another line of blow.

Rafe chuckled, knowing you were joking. But he loved the psychotic look that passed over your face.

"But seriously, Rafe," You said as you looked back up to him, pinching your nose and sniffing. "You're a good person. Like, the best person I've ever met. And if your dad can't see that then it's his loss."

"Yeah," He said as he took the rolled up bill from you. "You're right," He leaned over and took his line. "I just, uh, I just wish he'd be like proud of me, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know Rafey." You said, smiling at him softly.

He smiled back at you, taking in all of your features. Your deep, Y/E/C eyes shining up at him under yesterdays glitter. The way your messy hair still made you look like a model. The glow of your highlighter against your tan skin.

"Rafe? Rafe!" You snapped, trying to get his attention.

He snapped out of his trance. "What?" He said, almost surprised.

"Dude, we need to sell the rest of this shit." You told him as you motioned to the eight ball on the table. "Barry is gonna fuck you up. He's expecting his money tomorrow."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it covered." He said. "There's a bonfire on the beach tonight. Like, everyone will be there. We can definitely sell all this."

"Alright, cool. I'll go get ready." You said as you made your way to your bedroom. "Hey, Court is on her way over! Let her in, will you?" You shout back to him as you make your way down the hall.

"Anything for you, sweetheart!" He shouts back.

You blush slightly at his words.

You touched up your make up, throwing some of your signature rhinestones on. Then you pulled on a pretty skimpy red bikini and a pair of dark blue jean shorts over it. You draped yourself in your usual gold jewelry and put in a cute dangly Chanel belly ring.

"Hey bitch," Courtney said as she walked through your door and laid on your bed. "You look hot,"

"Thanks bitch," You said as you sprayed way too much of your KKW perfume on your skin.

"I'm surprised Rafe isn't in here gawking over you as you get ready." She chuckled as she laid on her stomach and rested her chin in her hands.

"We're just friends, Court," You smiled at her. "He's like, my best friend."

"Oh, cuz fuck me right?" Courtney responded.

"You know, other than you, dumb bitch." You chuckled.

Rafe stood outside the door quietly. He had intended to come see if you were ready but he couldn't help but eavesdrop on the girls conversation.

"So you're telling me you're not gonna let Rafe motherfucking Cameron take your virginity?"

Rafe's eyes widened at the statement and suddenly he felt guilty for listening in.

"Court!" You hissed.

"Don't worry! Your secret is safe with me. The whole island still thinks you're a little slut like me." She chuckled. "But bitch, this isn't the 80s, you need to catch a dick!"

"Unlike you, I get pleasure elsewhere." You stated.

Courtney sighed. "An unhealthy addiction to cocaine is hardly what I'd call pleasure. Besides, you've never even done it. How do you know sex wouldn't be better?"

At this point Rafe knew he needed to walk away. He made his way back to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge, trying to calm his nerves.

You and Courtney finally came out of your room. Rafe eyes immediately fall to your breasts, barely contained by the small bikini top. He quickly looks back up to meet your eyes and smiles. "I like your make up," He says softly, hoping you didn't catch him slip up.

"Thank you," You smiled up at him.

"What am I, a fucking side salad?" Courtney huffed.

"Chicken caesar," Rafe shot back. "The best salad in all the land. You look gorgeous as well." He told her.

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Thanks Rafe. I'm always happy to be this steaks side salad," She giggled, gesturing to you.

You all burst out laughing.

"Ya'll are wack," You said as you giggled your way to the kitchen. "Pregame?" You asked, pulling out a bottle of tequila and 3 shot glasses.

"Just one," Rafe says. "Gotta drive the Kook Queens around."

You smile at him before pouring the shots. You slide one to Courtney and Rafe and hold yours up. "To the queens," You smile seductively.

"To the motherfucking queens!" Courtney said before throwing hers back, you and Rafe doing the same. "Hit me again!"

You and Courtney take a few more shots before you're feeling buzzed enough to be social. "Let's make some money!" You say as your jump onto Rafe and cling to his neck. He spins you around once before putting you down.

"Let's do it," He says with a smirk as he ushered you and Courtney out the door.

He opens the passenger door for you to climb into his truck before opening the back door for Courtney. Once you are both comfortably inside he shuts the door and makes his way to the driver's side.

"Bluetooth!" You scream at Rafe, ready to play your music.

"Okay, okay," He says. He taps a few buttons on the screen until it says your phone is connected. "Here ya go, sweetheart."

"You know what?" You say, cocaine and alcohol sending a nice chill through your body. "I feel fucking good!"

"Amen to that!" Court says from the back seat, taking a swig from the bottle of tequila.

"I wanna show you guys a song," You say, scrolling through your phone. "Bump this shit and tell me it doesn't make you feel fucking Euphoric!"

All the windows were down and you and Court leaned back out the window, letting your hair fly in the wind. You held her hand as you both laughed with happiness.

Rafe's eyes scanned your body. Your arched back as you leaned out the window. Your skin was perfectly tan and your body jewelry clung to you just right.

He had to pry his eyes away to keep them on the road. But you were right. He felt fucking euphoric.

"All for us," He whispered to himself.

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

[mackenzielovee]

Okay so idk if you’ve read my series DIAFU. I’m stuck on it rn so it’s on hold hit I so badly want to write for when Wolf is born and I’d just love to see Wolf and Connor in school together ❤️

Wolf would be crazy and Connor would be so good at calming him down

OMG they would be besties !!!! Connor's used to that with his sister and i feel like he needs someone like that in his life. so cute. i love this!

[notdisneychannel]

Should I post DIAFU part 9 tonight or tomorrow?! I'm conflicted lol

you KNOW i am going to say tonight, i simply cannot wait and i don’t feel like doing my human reproduction hw

[byemc]

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[loveesiren]

Doing It All For Us (Pt. 2)

Masterlist

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: Rafe protects Y/n and learns more about her.

Warnings: Swearing, drinking, drugs, fighting, mentions of death and gun violence, fluff

Word Count: 3.2k+

By the time you pulled up to the party you were on cloud 9. You and Courtney held hands and skipped together towards the fire, bottle of tequila still half full. Rafe trailed behind you guys and smiled as he watched how happy you were.

You and Courtney started dancing and taking shots while Rafe made his way around the party trying to sell the rest of the coke.

"Hey ladies!" Kelce said as him, Topper, and Sarah approached you.

"Hey!" You said, giving them all a hug. You knew Sarah didn't like you much but you were feeling too good to care. "How are you guys?"

"Fucking lit!" Topper said.

"Fucking saaaaame!" Courtney said as she took a swig from the bottle.

You chuckled and scanned around to find Rafe. He was sitting down surrounded by a few other girls. You unknowingly clenched your jaw at the sight.

Rafe glanced back at you and met your eyes. He gave you a smirk and wiped his nose, indicating he was taking care of business. You smiled and nodded at him as you directed your attention back to the conversation.

"Fuckin' Pogues," Courtney spat. You turned to follow her gaze to see a group of people walking up the beach.

You'd seen them around the island. John B, JJ, Pope, and Kiara. You knew their names but you were always too busy to pay them any attention.

You felt a hand snake around your shoulder. You looked up to see Rafe and you smiled. "Hey," You said.

"Hey," His eyes were soft and his smile was warm. Something about him being so close to you gave you a sense of calm you didn't know you needed.

"Sell it all?" You asked.

He pressed his tongue to his cheek as he nodded. "Yeah, but it's not enough."

"Fuck," You said.

"Don't worry, I have a plan." Rafe assured you as held you closer to him and lead you towards the cooler to get a drink.

A few girls glared at you as you walked. You weren't exactly sure why. Courtney had remained your only real girl friend since you moved here. Most girls seemed to hate you. You knew it was probably jealousy. But for what? Did they want to look like you? You'd be happy to do make overs if any of them gave you the time of day. Were they annoyed that there was a new girl in town taking up all the attention? Or was it the fact that you had gotten so close to Figure Eights ultimate Kook King?

The more you thought about, the more you realized that Rafe was practically always with you. It seemed normal now.

"You okay?" He asked as he handed you a seltzer from the cooler.

"Yeah, yeah, it's just..."

"What?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"You're always with me."

His face fell slightly at your words. "Do you not want me around?" He asked.

"No, I do! I love hanging out with you. Seriously,"

"Then what's the problem?"

You sigh. "I feel like I take up all your time. People seem to hate me for some reason and I feel like I've taken you away from your friends."

Rafe chuckled.

"What?" You ask.

"Look, you're my friend. And Kelce and Top and even Court. All these other people," He waves his hand around the sea of people. "Just people I get fucked up with."

"Isn't that what we do?"

"Yeah. It is. But we talk too. About, like, everything. Everything you say is so fucking...interesting. I can barely stand talking to these other people for five minutes."

You smile up at him and he returns the gesture. You quickly wrap your arms around his waist and pull him close to you. He's so much taller than you. He wraps his arms around your neck and rests his head in your hair as he hugs you tightly.

You break away from him far sooner than he would have liked. Before you can get another word in, you hear shouting coming from down by the water.

You turn to see Topper and Kelce arguing with JJ and John B. It wasn't long before things got physical.

"Fucking Pogues," Rafe said as the two of you started toward the commotion.

"Kick his ass, Top!" Courtney yells.

"Why would you encourage them?" You hear Kiara say to Courtney.

"Why the fuck is your boy starting shit?" She responded.

You both laugh.

"Bitches," You hear Kiara mutter.

"What was that?" You say as you step around Courtney and get in her face.

"I said you're a bitch!" Kiara repeats herself.

You push her back and as she struggles to catch her balance you deck her in the left eye.

"Oh, shit!" Courtney laughs as she watches Kiara hit you back but you were quick to punch her square in the nose and she fell down.

"You wanna talk more shit, cunt?!" You scream at her as you grab her hair and hit her again.

"Get off me!" She spat at you, hitting you as best she could which was not very effective.

"Goddamit," Rafe muttered as he turned away from Topper and John B and ran over to you.

"Topper stop! You're gonna drown him!" You hear Sarah cry.

"John B!" Kiara yells as she tries to push you away.

You feel strong arms wrap around your torso but you continue to swing.

Suddenly, you hear gunfire. Rafe pulls you off Kiara and falls to the ground, holding you tightly and shielding your with his body.

"JJ stop!" You hear Pope scream.

"Get the hell off our side of the island!" JJ screams, firing the gun two more times.

You realized you were clinging to Rafe's arm, nails digging into his skin so hard you knew he was probably bleeding.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly, he lips pressed to your temple.

"Yeah, yes. Can we go home please?"

"Yeah, come on I got you." He says as he gets up, still holding you close.

You tried to choke back tears as Rafe lead you to his truck. Memories of your childhood came flooding back.

Rafe helped you into the passenger seat and Court and Kelce climbed in the back. "Where's Top?" You heard Courtney ask.

"Left with Sarah. What the hell was that?!" Kelce said.

Courtney leaned forward and put a hand on your shoulder. "Y/N, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Court." You said, shrugging her hand off before Rafe climbed into the driver's seat and quickly drove away from the party.

"Fucking Pogues, dude!" He said, clearly angry.

"I can't believe JJ pulled a gun on Top dude. Fucking psycho." Kelce responded.

"This ain't over," Rafe said before pulling out his phone to call Topper.

You barely paid attention to the conversations around you as you stared out the window.

When you finally got back to your house Kelce and Court seemed fine, ready to go back to drinking and flirting like they had been all night.

You kept your head down and made your way to your room.

"Y/N-"

"I'm fine." You cut Rafe off and stormed upstairs.

Rafe chewed on his cheek for a minute before turning and heading back to where Kelce and Courtney were.

"I think I'm gonna head home," Rafe said, a hint of sorrow in his voice.

"I wouldn't do that," Courtney responded. Rafe gave her a questioning look. "Look," She sighs. "It's not my place to tell. But give her like an hour. I think she's gonna need you."

Rafe pondered her words for a minute. Having a gun go off in a close proximity is scary for pretty much anyone. But you seemed to be a lot more shook up than everyone else.

Rafe wondered if there was something you hadn't yet told him. He'd gotten to know you really well over the past month and a half but surely there was plenty more to learn about you. And more than anything he wanted to be there for you when you were ready to talk about it.

"Okay," He agreed and sat down on one of the barstools at the kitchen counter. "Pour me a shot."

——————

About an hour later, Courtney and Kelce retired to the guest room. Rafe paced for a few minutes before finally deciding to go check on you.

He reached your door and knocked lightly.

"What?" Your voice was weak and pained.

"Y/N? It's Rafe. A-are you okay?" He asked.

You were silent for a moment. You were upset and scared but you needed someone. You needed Rafe.

"Come in." You finally said.

Rafe slowly opened one side of the huge double doors that lead to your bedroom. You had taken off your make up and washed your face. You pulled your naturally wavy locks into a high ponytail, a few strands loose in the front that fell across your face. You'd put on baggy plaid pajama pants and a small black tank top. Rafe swore he'd never seen a more beautiful sight in his life.

"Hey," He said nervously.

You looked up to face him. Your eyes were red from crying but the Y/E/C of your iris still sparkled in a way that made his heart skip a beat.

"Hey," You said, offering a small smile. You held out a hand to him motioning for him to come sit with you.

He sat down beside you on the bed. "Do you need me to get you anything?"

You shook your head. "I think I just need to sleep." You told him.

"Okay, yeah, that will probably help you feel better." He agreed. "I can crash on the couch, just let me know if you ne-"

"No, Rafe," You cut him off. "Please stay with me."

He stared at you for a moment as you moved over in your bed and pulled the covers back, inviting him to come lay beside you.

"Okay," He said nervously, but he was happy at your request. It wasn't like the two of you hadn't passed out next to eachother before. But tonight seemed different.

He kicked off his shoes and laid down beside you. You moved close to him and wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling your head into his chest. He wrapped an arm around you and brought his other hand to your hair, twirling the strands between his fingers.

"Thank you," You whispered against him. "You make me feel safe."

Rafe smiled widely at the sound of those words falling from your lips.

"You know I'll always take care of you," He said before pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "Get some rest, sweetheart."

Sleep came easily to both of you that night. The nightmares you were scared that would surface never came and instead you slept dreamlessly and peacefully.

___________________

Your eyes fluttered open to the sunlight peaking through your window. You could feel the rise and fall of Rafe's chest underneath you and you felt warm inside.

You remained quiet, listening to the soft beating of his heart. He began to stir 10 minutes later.

"Morning," He said sleepily as he ran his fingers up and down the length of your shoulder.

"Goodmorning," You responded. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Amazing," He confessed with a smile. "Are you feeling better?"

You nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry about last night."

"Why are you sorry?" He asked.

"It's just...I don't like guns."

"I understand."

You sighed as you clung to him tighter. "You know how my mom died when I was little?"

"You mentioned it. The night of your party." He responded.

"Yeah, well, she died when I was six..." You began.

Rafe was quiet. He played with your hair, untangling the parts that got twisted together amidst your sleep as he listened to you.

"It was just me and her at home one night. I was in my room watching cartoons. Spongebob, I think..." You chuckle at the last part. "My mom was downstairs making dinner." You take in a shaky breath. "I heard commotion. Men yelling and my mom yelling back. She was scared. When I went to the door to listen, I heard three shots. They scared me. I ran and hid under my bed and covered my ears. I thought maybe they were fire works at first but then I heard the men yelling again. There were two more shots before it finally went quiet."

Rafe held his breath and squeezed you tighter.

"I stayed in my room for like an hour before I finally thought it might be safe to go downstairs. I yelled for my mom but she never responded." You closed your eyes and swallowed. "When I finally got to the kitchen, I-I found her..." Your voice cracked.

"Shhh," Rafe soothed, pulling you close and tucking your head to his neck. His arms were tight around you and you felt a that familiar calmness rush over you.

You both sat in a comfortable silence for a while. You were never uncomfortable around Rafe. Since you met him he'd always brought you peace.

"Are Kelce and Court still here?" You finally asked as you sat up and faced him.

"Most likely. They stayed up drinking then moved it to your guest room."

You rolled your eyes. "Great," You chuckled. "Guess I'll be scrubbing that room today." You began to get up but Rafe grabbed your wrist and you turned to face him.

"Or," He began. "We could call a maid and go get lunch at the club."

You smiled at him. "That sounds a lot better,"

"Cool," He smiled. "I just have to take care of a few things. Meet you there? 1:30?"

"Perfect." You agreed. "I'm gonna shower." You said as you ran to your bathroom and closed the door behind you.

Rafe laid in your bed a few moments longer, smiling to himself as he reminisced on the fact that you slept in his arms all night.

______________________________

You brushed purple eyeshadow on your eyes with an orange liner. You felt lighter today. The trauma of last night fading away. You applied some concealer on the small bruise forming on your cheek where Kiara had punched you, chuckling at the fact that's all she left on you.

You threw on a lilac blouse and slipped into some light jean shorts. Giving yourself a once over in the mirror before you grabbed your purse and sandals and made your way downstairs.

"Are those my clothes, slut?" You asked Courtney as you entered the kitchen.

"Yup," She declared before popping a blueberry in her mouth. "Kelce ripped my skirt."

"It was an accident!" He protested.

"You guys are sick." You chuckled as you went to the fridge and grabbed a Fiji water. The only water you would drink.

"We're headed to the club, wanna come?" Kelce asked.

"Uh yeah, I'm actually supposed to meet Rafe."

"He didn't stay over?" Courtney asked.

"No, he did. He just had to do some things this morning."

"Cool! I'll drive!" Kelce announced. You realized you rarely drove your Benz Truck anywhere anymore.

You locked up your house and set the alarm before you all climbed in Kelce's BMW.

You pulled up to the club at exactly 1:30pm but there was no signs of Rafe's truck or his bike. You brushed it off and followed Courtney and Kelce into the club.

"I'm gonna run to the bathroom," You announced, starting to feel uneasy.

Once you got into one of the stalls and locked it behind you you quickly pulled out a small bag of cocaine from your purse. You used your long acrylic nail on your pinky finger to scoop out a bump and you snorted it, throwing your head back before you went for one more. You licked the residue that still coated your nail before putting it back in your bag and flushing the toilet. You came out and quickly washed your hands before heading back to the table.

Still no sign of Rafe.

"What can I get you guys?" A familiar voice asks. You look up to see JJ waiting to take your order.

"Oh, that's fucking rich." Courtney scoffs.

Anxiety fills your body as you look up to him.

JJ tries his best to control his composure, not wanting to lose his cool on the job. Even though you had all gotten in a pretty rough fight last night, JJ realized that the three of you, being rich customers, had the upper hand and he couldn't afford to lose his job.

"3 Mai Tai's," Kelce answers.

"I'll need to see your IDs." He states. Kelce laughs but hands over his fake. You and Courtney do the same.

"Make that 4, my friend." Rafe says, placing a hand on JJ's shoulder and slipping him his fake ID as well before pushing him towards the bar and away from your table.

You instantly let out a sigh of relief as the sight of Rafe. He sits down next to you, placing his arm across the back of your chair and leaning over to you.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah," You smile at him. "Are you?"

Rafe sighs. "Talk about it later," He promised.

You noticed the fresh burn on his left forearm. "Rafe, your arm!"

"It's fine," He reassures you as he hides his arm under the table.

JJ came back with your drinks. "Any food for you guys?"

"Not hungry," You muttered as you took a long sip of your drink.

"She'll have the salmon," Rafe told him.

"Rafe-"

"You need to eat, sweetheart." He said softly.

You smiled as everyone else ordered their food. You giggled at the way Rafe knew your favorite meal.

After a few more Mai Tai's, you were happy you had all made it through lunch, despite JJ being your server. You could not handle anymore drama today.

The four of you made your way down to the beach. Courtney and Kelce drunkenly clinging to eachother and laughing. You and Rafe trailed behind.

"You gonna tell me what happened to your arm?" You asked, genuinely concerned.

Rafe sighed. "Late on payment."

"I thought you had a plan?" You asked him.

"I do, I do, I just...haven't gotten to it yet."

"Rafe-"

"Listen," He began, grabbing your shoulders and turning you to face him. "I'm gonna take care of it okay? After I drop you off at home. I promise."

Something about the way he's looking at you tells you to keep your mouth shut.

"Okay." You respond softly.

He gives you a half smile and pulls you into him, cradling your head against his chest. You stood and held eachother in silence for a moment.

"Are you guys coming?" Courtney yelled to you.

"I'm gonna take her home!" Rafe yelled back. "We'll see you guys later!"

"Suit yourself!" Kelce yelled back before him and Courtney continued down the beach.

Rafe walked you to his truck and opened the passenger door, helping you inside. Once you were comfortable, he shut the door and jogged to the drivers side.

He turned on the engine and put his car in drive.

"Rafe?" You say, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Please be safe." You tell him, your eyes full of worry.

He sees your expression and offers you a smile. He reached over and placed his hand on your knee. "Don't worry, sweetheart."

Something about his words ease away all your worry. You trust him fully.

You stare out the window as you drive. The sunset fading from orange to pink to lilac and the sight made you feel at peace.

"Want to play some music?" Rafe asks, already connecting your phone to bluetooth.

"Sure," You smile. "Turn it up."

He does as he's told and you press play.

You both relaxed as you felt the bass vibrate against your seats. Rafe slowly slipped his fingers between yours as he watched you wave your other arm out the window. You seemed so content and at peace. To everyone else on the island you were a bad-ass party girl. But when he looked at you he saw vulnerability, excitement for life, a big heart, and the beauty of a goddess. He'd never been so grateful for someone in his entire life.

As the song went on, Rafe swore it was his new favorite song. Because every time he'd hear it he would think of this perfect moment. Fresh summer air blowing through your hair as he clung to the hand of the woman he loved.

[loveesiren]

O͏u͏t͏e͏r͏ B͏a͏n͏k͏s͏ M͏A͏S͏T͏E͏R͏L͏I͏S͏T͏

𝕽𝖆𝖋𝖊 𝕮𝖆𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖔𝖓

Series:

Doing It All For Us (in progress)

Help Me (completed)

Baby Daddy (randomly writing)

One Shots/Mini Series/Drabbles:

Emergency Contact Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3

Overboard

Ghost

𝕵𝕵 𝕸𝖆𝖞𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖐

Series:

Champagne & Sunshine (in progress)

One Shots:

No Words

[loveesiren]

Doing It All For Us (Pt. 8)

Masterlist

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: (I apologize for the bad gifs, I'm reposting but I can't find the ones I used before 😭) Y/n gets the help she needs before her and Rafe start a new life together.

Warnings: Drugs, psychosis, mental health, self harm, and surprises, ya'll know me by now.

Word Count: 5.7k+

You moved your food around your plate as you listened to Topper, Rafe and Kelce discuss baseball. You couldn't be bothered to eat.

Rafe knew you were craving drugs. He knew you too well. You couldn't hide it from him. So, of course, he became annoyingly overprotective. He didn't leave you on your own for long.

You didn't want to be at the club right now. You hadn't showered in four days. You were still in the same old t-shirt you borrowed from Courtney. Your hair sat in a messy bun on your head and you had no make up on. Thank God you had at least drowned yourself in your Juicy perfume.

Rafe dragged you to the club, forcing you to eat and socialize. But you didn't even try. You sat there, obviously unhappy, just bringing everyone else down.

Rafe ran his fingers over your leg and smiled at you. You attempted to smile back but it was just pitiful. Topper and Kelce were staring at you with worried looks.

"Baby-"

"I'm gonna go smoke." You said, standing up and heading towards the door.

"Do you want me to-"

"No!"

You walked across the street from the club and sat in the grass. Lighting up an American Spirit, you laid back and watched the clouds move above you.

_

"What's going on with her, dude?" Topper asked Rafe.

Rafe was on the verge of tears but he held them back. "I-I don't know. I mean, a lot is going on but she won't talk to me. She just sits in silence and barely eats..."

"Maybe Courtney could get through to her?" Kelce asked.

Rafe shakes his head. "She tried. Court says she's gone through this before. Told me not to leave her alone for too long." He said as he looked out the window. He noticed you weren't where you had been moments ago. He stood up quickly and walked outside. "Y/N!" He yelled as he looked around for you. You were gone.

Rafe ran back inside, panicking. "She's gone!" He told Topper and Kelce.

"What?" Topper asked as he stood up, throwing some money on the table.

Rafe ran his shaking hands through his hair as his eyes began to swell with tears once again. "We gotta find her, man!"

The boys ran outside and piled into Rafe's truck.

-

You heard the sound of a bike approaching you but you didn't turn to look. You just kept walking lazily down the side of the road, dragging your cigarette every now and then.

"Hey, Princess!" You hear Barry say as he pulls up next to you. You sigh and turn to look at him. "Where's Prince Charming, huh? Lettin' you walk all alone out here. Never know who might swoop you up!" He laughs.

You just stare at him, too tired to say anything back. You can feel the bags under your eyes. Your face felt heavy and your body was weak from malnourishment.

"Shit..." He says as he examines you. "You look like you need a fix, am I right, Princess?"

You nod.

"Hop on," He says. He doesn't even offer you his helmet but you don't care. You climb on the back of his bike and wrap your arms around his waist. He drives off towards his house.

You know Barry was a bad guy. He'd probably want to take you back to his place, get you high, try to get in your pants. But you just didn't care anymore. The voices in your head were eating you alive.

Worthless. They don't really love you. Burden.

The words play over and over again in your head as you watch the trees pass by.

"Here we are," Barry says, helping you off the bike. "Come on, I'll fix you up."

You follow Barry inside. You scanned his house, noticing the few people that laid lazily on his couch, obviously doped out of their minds.

"You ever freebased?" Barry asks as he sits down at the kitchen table, sprinkling coke over a piece of foil.

"Yeah." Your voice was weak. You sat down across from him as you watched him prepare the foily.

He slides it over to you with a tooter and a lighter. You bring the tooter to your lips and light the bottom of the foil. You inhale the smoke slowly, feeling an instant buzz.

Barry smiles as he watches you. "Damn, you go harder than Country Club!" He laughs. "I ain't ever seen no Kook Queens up in the trap house smoking foilies!"

"I'm from LA," You tell him, feeling a little more talkative now that your buzz was hitting.

You hand him the paraphernalia. "That's all you, Princess. Go crazy." He said, waving you off.

You chuckle, bringing the tooter back to your lips to smoke more. After a bit, you were on Cloud 9.

People began drifting in and out of Barry's house. He'd sell them drugs, talk to some girls, then come back and sit with you, continuing to fix you up with the makeshift crack.

"You wanna shot, Princess?" Barry asks as he taps your arm with a bottle of whiskey.

You take it from him and quickly chug as much as you can before you get back to making your foily. You were really feeling it now. You hadn't been this high in a long time.

"Ayo, Y/N!" Barry says, snapping his fingers in your face.

You snap up to look at him. "What?"

"Chill, girl! Have another shot, you need to relax."

You eyed him for a moment as your nose twitched, but you took the bottle and chugged more.

"You really love that kid?" Barry asked you.

"What do you mean?"

"Rafe," He said. "You was bout ready to kill me for his ass!" Barry chuckled.

Rafe. Rafe. The love of your life. The only person that made you feel at home. You had left him at the club. You looked around now, realizing it was dark out and Barry's house was full of people getting high as fuck. Music was blasting way louder than you realized and you could feel your anxiety start to rise.

You snap out of your trance and look back to Barry. "Yeah. I do." You said confidently.

Barry smiles. "You know, for a Kook, you're not half bad. Country Club's a lucky man."

You look up at him with your devil eyes. The one's that came out after you'd drown yourself in substances. The eyes that showed who you truly were under your make up and jewelry. The psychopath.

Barry eyed you for a moment, looking almost scared. You offer him a small smile, hoping to convey that you were fine but knowing deep down you probably looked crazy.

Barry offered you a bill to snort one of the lines he just poured out. You accepted and leaned over the table, railing the white powder quickly.

"Well aren't you a sight," You hear a raspy voice say from behind you.

You turn around to see an older man, probably your dad's age. But he looked even older. Years of alcohol and drugs taking a toll on him.

You scrunch your nose up at him as he steps towards you and places a hand on your hip.

"Back up, Luke." Barry said, pushing him away from you.

"Ah, keepin' her all to yourself?"

"That's Cameron's girl." Barry states, keeping you behind him.

"Well I don't see that little shit around!" Luke laughs an intoxicated laugh.

You could feel anxiety rise in your chest. You didn't want to be here anymore. You wanted Rafe. You wanted to go home. You didn't want to be this fucking high anymore.

Barry turned around as he noticed you hyperventilating. "Ah, fuck." He said. He grabbed the whiskey off the table and put his arm around you. He pushed Luke out of the way as he lead you back to his bedroom.

You felt yourself pulled back as Luke grabbed your hand. "Get off me!" You yelp.

Barry turns around and punches Luke in the temple causing him to instantly fall to the ground. "Don't fucking touch her!" He turns and ushers you back to his bedroom.

You were a weeping mess now. Crying and hyperventilating. Barry closed the door behind him and you coward away from him, nervous he was going to do something.

He holds his hands up in defense. "Hey, Y/N, I'm not gonna hurt you okay?" He says. "Sit."

You sit down on the edge of his bed and pull your knees to your chest.

"Hear, drink this. It will calm you down."

You take the whiskey from his hand and chug. Too much crack. You were scared and paranoid. You didn't have your phone or anything. You were stuck in the middle of this party out in the Cut high off your ass and you hadn't talked to Rafe in hours.

"R-Rafe." You stutter.

"Hey, just relax, okay? I'mma call him right now."

You nod your head quickly, taking another swig from the bottle.

Barry paces his small room as he dials Rafe's number. Your eyes flicker back and forth as the voices in your head come back. You put your hands over your ears and shake your head, trying to get them to stop.

You're too high. You're going to die.

"Ayo, Rafe! You need to come get your girl, man!" Barry's voice echos in the background.

The voices became too much and you start screaming.

"Shit, shit! Yo, she's freaking out! Come get her!"

You were practically ripping your hair out.

"Y/N! Stop!" Barry yelled, grabbing your hands and keeping them by your sides.

You continued to thrash around on the bed, shaking your head back and forth violently. You let out another scream.

"Rafe's coming! He's on his way!" Barry yells at you.

You ease up slightly at the sound of Rafe's name but you were still terrified and you didn't know why.

"Listen to me, it's just the drugs okay? You smoked too much. You're okay. I promise." Barry said, trying to calm you down. "Look at me!"

You try to focus your eyes but you couldn't help but shake.

"You're good," Barry reassured you.

You nodded nervously. Barry let go of you and you remained somewhat still on the bed.

Fifteen minutes later, there was knocking on the door.

"Barry!" Rafe banged on the door. Barry opened it and Rafe, Courtney, Kelce, and Topper piled into the room.

"Y/N!" Rafe screamed as he ran to your shaking body on the bed.

"Take me home!" You cry as you throw your body around him. "I don't want to be here."

Rafe held you tighter than he ever had before.

"What the hell did you give her?!" Courtney yelled at Barry.

"Look, I'm sorry-" Courtney slapped him, cutting him off from his sentence.

Barry nodded, knowing he deserved it. "She freebased a bunch of coke, man. Just get her home."

Rafe wanted to strangle him, but you were more important. He had one arm around your waist and one cradling your head as he pushed past Barry and out to the living room.

"The Kooks are here!" People start saying as Rafe carried you through the sea of junkies that invaded the trailer.

"Fuck off!" You could hear Courtney, Topper, and Kelce telling people to back off. These weren't even Pogues. They were lower. This house was disgusting and you just wanted to leave.

You knew Rafe was probably furious with you. But he still came for you. You clung to him so tightly as you shook in his arms.

"I got you, baby." He said. His voice was so soft and it calmed you down. "Top, drive." Rafe said, throwing him the keys to the truck.

Rafe pulled you into the back seat with him, Courtney climbing in after.

Rafe placed you in his lap, he forced you to look at him. "Baby girl, you're safe, okay?"

All you could do was sob. Fear taking over your body. "The end," You spit out between sobs.

Rafe holds your face between his hands. "The end? What end, sweetheart?"

He'd never seen you cry so much. Your entire face was bright red and moist from tears. Everyone else in the car was silent as Topper drove.

"My end!" You sob loudly.

*insert my favorite gif i can't find*

Rafe is just staring at you with a puzzled look on his face, tears spilling from his eyes. "Baby, what are you talking about?!"

You quickly grabbed the door handle, swinging it open as you tried to jump out.

"Y/N!" Courtney yelled.

Rafe had his hands around your waist and Courtney grabbed your wrist pulling you back in.

Topper swerved at the sudden commotion but quickly regained control. "Dude, what the fuck!?" He yelled from the driver's seat.

You started screaming again and tugging at your hair again.

"What is wrong with her?!" Kelce yelled.

"Psychosis!" Courtney replied, pinning your hands down. She got on top of you, straddling your lap. "Rafe, hold her still!"

Rafe did as he was told, bawling his eyes out. He'd never seen anything like this in his life.

Courtney decked you as hard as she could in the side of the head and you went unconscious.

"What the fuck!" The boys yelled.

Courtney sat back, letting you rest in Rafe's lap. "Drive," She says.

The car ride was silent besides Rafe's sobs as he cradled your head.

When Topper pulled up to your house, Rafe carried you inside, immediately going to your room and tucking you into bed.

He sat and stared at you, his tears never letting up.

You stirred slightly but leaned deeper into your pillow.

"I need to talk to you," Courtney said from the door.

Rafe looked up to meet her gaze. He nodded. He looked back at you, placing a kiss on your forehead before joining Courtney in the hallway.

Courtney pulled Rafe down stairs to where Topper and Kelce were.

"What the hell is going on?" Kelce asks.

Courtney sighs. "Psychosis. She has episodes when she's really depressed."

———-

You tumbled out of bed and grabbed the knife from you bedside table. You crawled toward your bathroom and locked the door.

Rafe was surely mad at you for going to Barry's and getting fucked up. All your friends were probably about done with you. Your dad was gone. Fuck it right?

You took a small post it note from your counter and wrote out a few simple words. I love you, Rafe.

You stuck it to the counter and sat down.

They are better off without you. Kill yourself. Bleed.

The voices made you cry. You didn't want to leave Rafe but what if they were right? Maybe he was better off without you.

You put the knife to your wrist, tears falling down your cheeks. You force yourself to smile and slice the knife quickly across you skin, far too deep.

———-

"I'm gonna go check on her." Courtney said.

She had explained to the boys what exactly was happening to you. You were spiraling into a deep depression. But not like most people experience. Hallucinations, anxiety, the comatose states. It was taking over your body. You were in a very fragile state and the drugs didn't help.

"RAFE!" Courtney screamed.

Rafe got up immediately and ran upstairs, Topper and Kelce not far behind him.

"She locked herself in the bathroom!" Courtney cried.

Rafe didn't waste any time as he threw his shoulder into the door.

"Y/N!" He screamed, finally kicking the door in. He saw you motionless body on the floor, blood draining from your wrist.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, NO, NO!" Rafe repeated as he ran to your side. "Call 911!" He screamed as he ripped his shirt off and wrapped it around your wrist.

Courtney was frozen, tears falling from her eyes as she watched you bleed out. She couldn't help but remember the time you'd tried to do the exact same thing in her bathroom at nine years old.

Kelce caught Courtney as she collapsed. Sobbing over the fact she could never make you happy enough to stay on this earth.

Topper was level headed. He called 911. He explained everything that happened.

Rafe was hysterical when the paramedics arrived. They had to pull him away from you.

He climbed into the ambulance with you. There was no way he wouldn't be with you this time.

"Stay with me, baby, please, please, stay with me. I love you so so much." Rafe said as he held your hand.

"You her boyfriend?" The paramedic asked.

Rafe nodded, keeping his eyes on you. "Why couldn't I help her?"

Rafe's eyes scanned your body. You were pale and thin. Your hair was matted and you had circles under your eyes. He couldn't help but blame himself for not taking care of you.

"It's not your fault, kid." The paramedic said.

Rafe pressed his lips to your frail hand, praying for the first time in his life. He asked whatever God was listening to help him build a life you would want to be a part of. He just wanted to know what to do. What he could do to make you happy.

Rafe sat and watched as they once again hooked you up to machines. His angel, his baby girl, his goddess. He would never understand why she wanted to destroy herself.

As frail as you were, you were still vibrant in his eyes. And maybe that's why he hated himself. He thought you were were perfect every time he laid eyes on you. He couldn't see your bones pertruding or your hair falling out of the loss of your voice. Any state you were in, he was completely in love with you.

————–

You opened your eyes, taking in the blinding white walls of the room around you. The fluorescent lighting burned your retina's as you reached up to shield yourself from them. That's when you noticed the pain in your left wrist.

"Ow, fuck!" You examined the white bandage that was wrapped around your forearm. A deep red leaking through the cloth. You furrowed your eyebrows at the sight. You don't remember what happened or how you got here but judging by the placements of your wound, you knew you had done it to yourself.

"Shiiiit," You mutter as you sit up and scan the room. There was a doorless bathroom in the corner, a small desk in the other. You were on a small twin sized mattress that lay atop a metal bed frame. The small window was covered in bars, letting in little sunlight. This wasn't the first time you'd been in a room like this.

"No, no, no, no..." You said as you got off the bed and rushed to the large metal door. You looked out the small window for any sign of someone. "Hey!" You start yelling, banging your fists against the door, completely ignoring the searing pain in your wrist. "Hey, let me the fuck out of here!" You continue banging and kicking the door until someone finally opens it.

You step back as you watch two people enter. One woman in a lab coat, dark hair pulled back, glasses, clutching a clip board. The other, a man, in blue scrubs.

"How are you feeling, Miss Y/L/N?" The lady asks.

"Why am I here?" You ask, staring angrily at her. "Where's Rafe?"

She takes a step forward and you take a step back. "You are here, Miss Y/L/N, because you experienced a deep state of psychosis and tried to take your own life."

Psychosis. You hadn't had an episode since you were a kid. It only ever happened when you got severely depressed.

"You also had a large amount of cocaine and alcohol in your system. You became a danger to yourself and others. After you were treated at the hospital," She motions to your wrist and you bring it behind your back, hiding it. "You were brought here for treatment.

You scoff. "I don't need treatment. I just had an episode. I need to go home. I need to see Rafe!"

"You have been placed on a mandatory 72 hour hold."

"How long have I been here?"

"Six hours."

"Fuck that! Let me out, I'm not fucking staying here!"

The larger nurse steps towards you.

"If you literally step any closer I will fight you!" You spit at him.

"Y/N, we need you to try to calm down. This stress isn't good for you or your child."

"What the fuck are you talking about?! I don't have-" You stop, swallowing your words.

"You are pregnant, Miss Y/L/N."

Your eyes fall to the floor as you try to take in the words you just heard. You slowly turn and walk back to the bed, sitting down calmly.

Pregnant. Pregnant. The word repeated itself in your mind.

"Are you okay?"

You scrunched your face and waved them off, laying down on the bed and pulling your knees to your chest.

"Visiting hours are four to six. Mr. Cameron will be waiting to see you."

You don't respond, burying your face into the pillow and letting the tears fall silently from your eyes.

____________

The clock struck four and you were already sitting up, waiting for nurse to come retrieve you. You'd been thinking for the last few hours about everything. Whether or not you were going to tell Rafe. You had no clue how Rafe was feeling. You'd just tried to end your life. You also got high as fuck. You wouldn't blame him if he wanted to leave you.

You traced the RC that was scarred in your skin and silently prayed he would forgive you. Your other hand traced your stomach. You didn't want to die. You wanted to be with Rafe. You wanted your baby. You wanted to be normal and be happy for your family.

You heard the door click open and you jumped. "You have a visitor," The nurse said, holding the door open so he could escort you to the visiting room.

You walked slowly, fiddling with the sleeves of your sweater. Courtney must have packed your bag. A few pairs of sweats, tank tops, and sweaters. All things the hospital would accept. She remembered what you could and couldn't have in here.

You enter the cafeteria, scanning the room and seeing people sitting with their loved ones. Your eyes landed on Rafe and you breathed a sigh of relief.

He looked up, eyes meeting yours. He slowly stood from his seat, scanning over your body as he tried to accept the fact you were in here.

You couldn't hold back the tears as you ran to him and jumped in his arms. You wrapped your arms around him tightly and you could feel him sniffling into your hair.

"Hey baby girl!" He mumbled, letting his own tears flow. He gripped you for dear life, as if he were to let go you'd simply evaporate.

"Rafe, I don't remember anything." You whisper.

You could feel Rafe try to control his breathing. He obviously remembers everything.

"Sit down, baby." He says, releasing his grip on you and helping your weak body into the chair. He sits next to you, taking your hands in his.

He choked back tears as he felt how frail you were.

The expression on his face broke your heart. Knowing it was your fault he was in so much pain. "Rafe....I'm so sorry..."

He shook his head. "No, baby, no. It's not your fault. I'm sorry I didn't take care of you."

"Rafe, baby, what are you talking about?" You lean forward, tilting his chin up to look at you. "All you do is take care of me. This isn't your fault."

"I just-" He begins, trying to take in a deep breath. "I just want to make you happy. I want to build a life that you will be happy with."

"You make me so happy, Rafe. My head just isn't right. But I'm gonna get it right. For you. For us. For-" You stop yourself. "For us." You repeat.

You hated yourself right now. The way tears spilled out from his beautiful blue eyes. You can't believe you put him through this.

You force yourself to smile. You didn't want to be here. You had absolutely no idea what to do about the news you were pregnant. But if being here could potentially get you some help, you were willing to do so. For him. For your baby.

You climb into his lap, wrapping your fragile arms around his neck. He brings his arms up, wrapping around your waist. His wrist rested on your hip bone, noticing how thin you were under your sweater.

"Did you eat today, baby?" He whispered, already knowing the answer.

You shake your head. "No, but I'll have dinner after this." You promise. Knowing you have to eat for two even though the thought of food made you sick.

You pull back from him slightly. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Rafe sighs, the memory of the night prior causing him extreme anxiety, but he nodded his head.

-

A look of disgust sat on your face as Rafe finished telling you what happened. You were so upset with yourself. You could have reached out for help but you decided to fuck up instead. As you always do. Always afraid of asking for help and just getting high and trying to end it all instead. Even when you were with the love of your life.

"5 minutes," A nurse said as he walked past you.

You and Rafe both ignored him.

"Rafe..." You began, tangling your fingers with is. "I'm going to get better okay?" He was hesitant and you didn't blame him. Rafe was a coke head, yes, but he had never seen this side of addiction. "I'm going to talk with the doctor tonight. Talk about meds and therapy and all that shit. Just please...please don't give up on me."

His eyes shot up to meet yours, almost offended by your words. "I would never leave you."

That's when you realized how fucking shitty you were. Rafe was a coke head. But he stopped for you. He took care of you when you overdosed. When you tried to end your life. He was completely addicted to you. Drugs couldn't compare. He'd do anything just to have you but here you were, running off to the trap to get high and landing yourself in a mental institution.

The nurses announced that visiting hours were over and your stomach dropped. You weren't ready to spend the night without Rafe.

"I'll be back tomorrow," He promises. "I love you more than anything, angel." He said as he pulled you into him and pressed kisses to your head.

"Can you bring Courtney tomorrow?" You ask.

Rafe's face falls. "Uhm..."

"What is it?"

Rafe sighs. "Courtney is, uhmm...she's upset."

You look down. Courtney had been subjected to this before. You couldn't blame her.

"I'll talk to her, okay?" He says, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at him. You just nod in agreement and he presses a kiss to your lips.

You want to savor the moment forever but it's cut short by the nurses ushering you all back to your rooms. You turn to look at Rafe one more time. He attempts a smile but you can still see the pain on his face.

Once you are back in your room you let it all out. You sobbed loudly as you thought about your actions, how much pain Rafe was in, how Courtney was hurting, how you had a tiny human growing inside you. It was all so overwhelming.

A nurse knocked on your door and you quickly wiped away your tears. "Dinner?"

You offer a smile, walking over and taking the tray of food from him. "Thank you."

You go back to your bed and pick at the food on your plate. It looked disgusting but you knew you needed to eat. You rubbed your belly, knowing the little life you and Rafe created was growing inside you. Suddenly, you didn't feel so alone.

_________

You stayed calm the next few days. You saw the doctor and she prescribed you some antidepressants, ones that wouldn't hurt the baby, you made sure.

She voted against the anti-psychotics, since it didn't seem to be a prominent thing. You knew this last episode was fueled by depression, alcohol, and far too much cocaine.

Rafe visited you every day. You still hadn't told him. You couldn't, not like this. You told him how hard you were trying to get better, and he could see your change in behavior. Being completely sober seemed to improve your mood so much.

After Rafe left on day three, you headed straight to speak with your therapist.

"Hey," You said as your plopped down on the couch in her office.

"Y/N, how are you feeling?" She asks with a smile.

"I'm good," You say, biting your lip and blushing. "Just saw Rafe. I can't wait to get out of here and be with him again." You throw your head back, smiling like an idiot.

She chuckles. "Will he be the one picking you up tomorrow?"

"Yep!"

"Have you told him?" She asked, motioning to your stomach.

You smile and place your hand on your belly. "Not yet. I want it to be special. I don't want to tell him while I'm locked up in here. He'll go nuts. He's a very hands on type of person."

She nods. "How are you feeling about your sobriety plan?"

"I can do it. For Rafe and for our baby. I don't want anything to happen to him."

"Him?" She asks, raising her eyebrows.

You smile. "Yeah. I've been having dreams the last few nights. It's a boy."

Your therapist humors you. Getting through the rest of your session, she makes sure you're all set up with your medication, contact info for any help you may need, and goes over the plan you two worked out for getting back on your feet.

In all honestly, you didn't care. Yes, you were going to take your meds. Yes you were going to stay sober. But you just wanted to get home. You wanted to be with Rafe.

________

You woke up the next morning with a smile. You threw on a clean pair of sweats and a tank top. You tossed your beach waves into a high ponytail. You couldn't help but smile in your tiny bathroom mirror. Rafe would be here soon and you'd get to go home.

All you wanted was to get some McDonald's, go home, make love, and watch movies with the love of your life. You were determined to prioritize your happiness so you could be a good girlfriend and a good mother.

You sat on your bed, clutching your duffle bag. You couldn't help but smile as you tried to be patient for the nurse.

Finally, he came to retrieve you. "Ready to go, Miss Y/L/N?"

You jumped up from your bed and walked out the door. "Yep!"

You walked with confidence, feeling like your old self again. You clutched your bag to your shoulder, running your thumb over the RC on your chest. You couldn't help but smile. Things were going to be good now.

The nurse escorts you out to the lobby, and to no surprise, your blue-eyed, 6'4" boy was waiting for you. You dropped your bag and jumped into his arms.

"Hey baby!"

"Pretty girl," He whispered into your neck. "I've missed you so much."

You enjoyed his embrace for a moment before he set you down and picked up your bag. "You ready to go?"

"Fuck yes!" You say excitedly.

Rafe laces his fingers through yours, trying his best to ignore the bandage on your wrist.

He walks you out to his truck and helps you into the passenger seat. "You hungry?" He asks.

"Mickey D's!" You yell excitedly. Your meds were doing a great job of bringing your mood up.

Rafe chuckles. "As you wish, angel." He closes your door and runs around the truck to hop in the drivers side.

Rafe pulls into the drive thru, ordering you nuggets and fries and a McFlurry, of course. He orders himself some food too and he parks in the parking lot.

The two of you giggle, throwing fries at eachother and sharing food. Just enjoying the moment on this beautiful sunny day.

"So I'm guessing you're ready for a horror movie marathon?" Rafe asks as he drives back to Figure Eight.

"Most definitely!" You tell him. "But...can we stop by Courtney's real quick?"

Rafe bites his lip at your request, but he nods.

Courtney had barely talked to the boys in days. She was traumatized. It was the second time she'd seen you try to take your life. She did everything in her power to make you happy and it was never enough. It wasn't her fault, of course, but she couldn't help but feel like it was.

Rafe pulls into Courtney's driveway. He's about to get out of the truck but you stop him. "Just, give me a minute. Please." You tell him. He's reluctant but he nods.

You hop out of the truck and head towards the front door. You take a deep breath before ringing the door bell.

Helena answers, taking in the sight of you. She held back tears as she pulled you into her arms. She didn't say anything. Just held you tight and rubbed your back before nodding towards the basement.

You offer her a smile and head downstairs. You could hear a movie playing loudly. You turned the corner to the theater room, seeing Courtney spread out on the couch. A plethora of soda cans and snack wrappers littering the table in front of her.

"Court?" You say softly. Almost hoping she doesn't here you. But she does. Her head snaps to you, but she doesn't move to get up.

She reaches for the remote and pauses her movie. "Hey," She finally says. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm, uhm...I'm good." You told her. "How are you?"

She snorts at your question. "Living the dream."

"Courtney, I'm so sorry-"

"Why'd you do it?"

"I-I don't remember doing it. It was a mistake."

"So I'm supposed to forgive you and just wait for you to do it again?" She scoffs.

Her words hurt, but they are valid. "I'm totally sober now, Court. And I'm on meds. I'm really trying to sort my shit out."

"What's gonna keep you sober? Rafe obviously isn't good enough. You should have seen him after they took you to the nuthouse. He was a fucking wreck. I've never seen a grown man cry like that!" She's standing now, yelling at you.

Your face twitches but you bite back tears. "I know. But it's different now."

"How's it different, Y/N?! Please, enlighten me!"

"I'm pregnant!" You say, standing up to meet her gaze.

Her eyes widen, trying to find the words to say.

"Rafe doesn't know yet." You add.

Courtney's lip quivers. She couldn't be mad at you. As much as you hurt her, she loved you more than anything.

She pulls you to her, hugging you tightly. You hug her back as she rocks you back and forth.

You hold each other for a solid five minutes. She pulls back, taking your face between her hands. "You're gonna be such a good mama." She tells you with a smile. And she meant it. As fucked up as you were, you were loyal, and you put the people you loved first.

You beam up at her. She leans down and presses kiss to your lips. "Don't you ever do that shit again," She scolds when she pulls back.

"I promise, Court."

She smiles. "Go, tell Rafe."

You smile back at her. "I'll text you. I love you."

"I love you, too." She smiles.

You run upstairs and out the front door, quickly hopping into Rafe's truck.

"Everything okay?" He asks.

You smile. "Everything is perfect. Can we go back to my place? Watch movies, order food, and maybe take a bath?" You ask.

"That sounds perfect, baby girl." He says, leaning over and kissing you.

You bite your lip and look out the window, excited about your future for once in your life.

[loveesiren]

DIAFU - Face Claims

Y/N - YOU! But strong vibes from Maddy Perez, Rue Bennet, and Effy Stonem (Euphoria, Skins)

Courtney - Hunter Schafer

Elliot (Y/n's dad) - Eric Dane

Maria - Shenae Grimes

Jessica - Sabrina Carpenter

[loveesiren]

Hi guyssss gonna work on uploading the rest of DIAFU soon! I’ve been sick and trying to finish packing the last few days 😭

[loveesiren]

Bringing Doing It All For Us back to Tumblr 🫶🏼

[loveesiren]

So I e already secured a few pet sitting gigs while I look for a full time job! I’ll be pet sitting all weekend so I plan to work on posting the rest of DIAFU as well as some other works possibly. I also plan to write a bit 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Thank you all for being so patient! Moving is such a shit show lol

[loveesiren]

I’m in the final stretches of moving. I head out on Sunday so I’m working my ass off to finish packing and get everything done.

Going to try to post the rest of DIAFU this week and from the road!!

Once I’m settled at my new place I’m excited to sit down and get back to writing 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

[loveesiren]

Gonna do some packing then post more of DIAFU 😘

[loveesiren]

Btw DIAFU is my original work. I also have a Wattpad and Ao3 where it’s posted so nothing is “stolen”. This is my NEW tumblr. My old one was Valeriiecameron which has been deleted. So check yourself before you run your mouth 😂

[loveesiren]

Sorry guys I promise I’ll finish uploading the rest of DIAFU! It’s been hella busy lol but if you want to keep reading it’s on my Wattpad and Ao3!! Links on my pinned post 🫶🏼

[loveesiren]

doing it all for us is sooooo fucking good , i need a pt 2 asap !! no rush though honestly you are talented 🫶🏻

Thank you so much love! I think I got to posting chapter 3 last night? I passed out lol I’ll work on posting more tonight!!