#doesnt get me thinking about something else… no no……..

[vampiilure]

Can I get something with sebastian michaelis where he is readers butler and reader doesnt get affect by his charm and argue with him so often? Like in a funny way,reader insults them a lot

yes yes omg i had so much fun with this i hope i did it justice.

one hell of a headache.

Summary: Sebastian Michaelis is one hell of a butler- and one hell of a headache. Sharp insults and constant bickering, both of you thrive on sarcasm, stubborn pride, and zero tolerance. Perfect service has never been so irritating.

Sebastian Michaelis x fem!reader 

Genre: comedy, no romance

WC: 1338

The first time you met Sebastian Michaelis, he bowed so low and so fluidly you wondered if he’d slipped a disk. His tailcoat swished with perfect grace, white gloves pristine as bone china, every movement so precise it could be mistaken for mechanical.

“Lady Y/N,” he said with a voice like fine whiskey, smooth, expensive, and designed to make people drunk on flattery. “It is an honor to serve as your butler. I will execute every duty with precision and unwavering dedication.”

You stared at him from your seat with narrowed eyes and all the warmth of a tax audit. “Do you have to sound like the villain in a second-rate opera every time you open your mouth?” 

His smile didn't falter. “Would you prefer a different accent, my Lady?”

“Preferably one that doesn't make me want to throw myself into a river,” you replied.

The smile deepend, but it wasn't real- it was performative. Calculated. Like everything else about him. “Then I shall endeavor to be more tolerable.”

“Good,” you muttered. “Start by learning how to blink like a normal person.”

From that moment forward, the war had begun.

The next morning, your brief moment of peace in the library was interrupted by the sound of your study door creaking open. It was far too early for anyone with sense to be functioning, which meant, of course, that he had arrived. Sebastian entered like a stage curtain being drawn open, graceful, unnecessary, and theatrical.

“Good morning, my Lady,” he said, setting a silver tray down on the polished oak table beside your armchair. “Your preferred blend- Darjeeling with one sugar, no milk. Steeped for precisely six minutes. As requested.”

You looked at the teacup without touching it, then shifted your gaze to him like he’d brought poison in porcelain. “You annocne tea like it’s the Second Coming.”

“Presentation matters,” he replied with a slight bow. “It elevates the experience.”

“I’d prefer silence,” you said, picking up the cup and sniffing it. “Now that elevates the experience.

He tilted his head slightly. "And yet, you always engage.”

“That's because you never leave me alone.”

“Your safety is my top priority,” he replied. “And considering your tendency to provoke staff, guests, and occasionally houseplants, I feel obligated to remain nearby.”

You stared over your teacup. “You’re not obligated. You're obsessed.”

“Possibly,” he said smoothly. “But obsession, when refined, becomes loyalty.”

You blinked slowly. “And when I refine arsenic, can I use it on you?”

“I doubt it would take.”

“I could make it take,” you grumbled.

“And I could reappear before your next blink,” he countered with a faint smirk.

You groaned. “You are what happens when a chessboard gains sentience.”

“If so,” he said, straightening your curtain with one gloved hand, “you must be the pawn that thinks she's the queen.”

“Oh, I am the queen,” you said, “which makes you the court jester no one invited.”

He inclined his head. “If I were a jester, I would wear brighter colors. But alas, I must remain in black to match your mood.”

You had half a mind to hurl the tea at him- except it was annoyingly perfect, and you refused to waste good tea on a demon.

Later, in the conservatory, you were reading, rather, pretending to, when you felt a distinct, irritating aura enter the room. Without needing to look up, you already knew.

Sebastian stood behind your chair, posture flawless, as if posing for a portrait of smug competence. “You left the parlor door ajar. Drafts are hardly ideal for one of such…delicate disposition.” 

You turned a page of your book. “If you're calling me delicate, I'll be forced to shove you through the greenhouse window.”

“I didn't say fragile,” he replied. “Just temperamental.”

“I wasn't aware you were fluent in irony.”

“Oh, I'm fluent in many things. Including your daily patterns. For example- insulting me three times before breakfast, threatening physical violence by noon, and passive-aggressively ignoring your appointments until I subtly shame you into attending.”

You looked over your shoulder, slow and unimpressed. “You keep a record?”

“I do,” he said, producing a small black notebook from his pocket. “It's quite thorough.”

“Let me see that.”

“No.”

“Let me see it, demon.”

“Demon, yes. Fool, no.”

You stood. He stepped back with theatrical elegance.

“If I find that notebook,” you said slowly, “I will feed it to Tanaka’s koi fish.”

“They eat anything,” he noted.

“Exactly.”

By the time the afternoon rolled around, you were in the drawing room, glaring at estate paperwork like it had personally offended you. Which, in fairness, it had.

Sebastian stood nearby with a list of appointments that you had no intention of acknowledging.

“Piano tuning at two o’clock, correspondence with the Countess by three, and the meeting with the baker regarding your highly specific bread texture preferences at four.”

You looked up. “You make it sound like I'm unreasonable.”

He glanced at your notes. “‘Soft but with crust that crunches at exactly 0.6 seconds into the bite’ is an ambitious request.”

“It's called standards.”

“It's called exhausting.”

“You're exhausting,” you snapped.

“Indeed,” he said with a mock-sigh. “And yet I remain. Unappreciated. Overworked. Elegant.”

“You forgot ‘overconfident’. And ‘deeply punchable.’”

He smirked. “Ah, so you do appreciate me.” 

You set your pen down with exaggerated care. “If I threw you off the roof, would you scream?”

“I’d land on my feet.”

“Would you bounce?”

“I could, if you prefer a performance.”

That did it. You stood up, grabbed the nearest throw pillow, and launched it at his head. He caught it mid air, of course- damn him- and fluffed it like it was part of the decor.

“I'll take that as your way of saying ‘thank you for your service.’”

“You can take it as ‘i hope you step on a rake.’”

He nodded solemnly. “I shall pencil that into the schedule.”

Dinner came, and with it, an even greater challenge, tolerating you both at once. Ciel, who had joined the meal, glanced between you and Sebastian with the exhausted resignation of someone supervising toddlers with vocabulary.

“Are you two ever civil?” the boy asked, setting his fork down.

You and Sebastian answered in perfect harmony. “No.”

You pointed your knife at him across the table. “He breathed in my direction again.”

“She glared at me for breathing,” he added lightly.

“He started it.”

“She finished it. Poorly.”

“Your face is poorly.”

“Your handwriting is.”

Ciel groaned and slumped into his seat.

“I’ll fetch tea,” he said calmly.

“I’ll fetch a shovel.” you said.

Ciel muttered something about headaches and let you both carry on.

Later that night, Sebastian delivered your evening tea and set it on the nightstand without a word. You sat on the edge of your bed, arms crossed, eyes narrowed.

“Still breathing?” you asked dryly.

“Vigorously,” he replied, smoothing the corner of a blanket. “Would you like your pillow fluffed? Or perhaps violently beaten into silence?”

“Don't tempt me.”

“I wouldn't dare. You might try.” 

“You know I would.”

He bowed. “Sleep well, Lady Y/N. I shall be outside your door should you require anything. A midnight snack, a sharpened quill, a dagger for dramatic effect..”

“I require your absence.”

“Tragically, not on the menu.”

You hurled a pillow again. He caught it, again, fluffed it, again, and placed it back with that same maddeningly smug air. 

“Goodnight,” he said.

“Go haunt someone else.”

“Only when you're asleep.”

With that, he vanished down the hall, leaving behind nothing but faint amusement and the sense that you’d somehow lost again.

You stared at the door, muttering to yourself. “I really, truly hate that butler.”

Your tea, or course, was perfect.

Damn him.

[nishitanis-left-nut]

finished LaD. I think Ichiban fixed something in me.

but first of all- took em long enough to give us a majima crotch shot in this game (what hes saying with no context makes this funnier. you gotta go 100 times WHAT)

positives first (im gonna make a separate post with all the more stinky complaining and nitpicking-)

"Once you're at rock bottom, the only way forward is up."

i feel like this is one of those phrases that gets so overused in media that whenever i see it it just automatically reads as insincere and a lazy way of trying to say something profound, and maybe im biased since i was in a place where i needed to hear it, but this time around it didnt feel like that. might have made me cry even. whos to say. the story is pretty self contained and simple (by yakuza standards) and ichiban is a nice man so it doesnt come across as it talking down to you?? the scene feels very encouraging and the lack of mean spiritedness in how ichiban talks and carries himself is nice??? i still feel like they set some things up and then subsequently did nothing with them but eh. i think most of my complaints about this game actually kinda boil down to how they spent the entirety of it teetering in between making it feel like a "yakuza game" and dealing with the new game mechanics and direction and not really knowing how to do both at the same time. eh.

do NOT separate them

this entire last scene gutted me actually. i noticed it back when saeko cries at the club but damn the crying in this game feels so visceral and real like- theyre full on ugly crying on screen. i tried looking back at other crying scenes in past games and the only ones that look and feel like this are kiryus reaction to rikiya getting shot and the nishiki forest scene in y0 (i know the animation is a product of its time too but also specifically with women, comparing sayama crying over ryuji and saeko crying over the soapland owner its like night and day. sayama looked pretty and her tears were barely there, not a grimace or wrinkle in SIGHT, saeko at least was allowed to look "ugly" when she cried) i dont think this scene wouldve hit me as hard as it did if they hadnt made ichi look as distraught as he does (also the vocal performance cuz holly shit? holy shit.)

i knew i was gonna like ichiban, look at him how can you NOT like him? but even while playing the game i didnt think he'd end up leaving that big of an impression on me. but here we are. we really do need more media that revolve around "Adulthood" and how different people cope with and adapt to it, i wish LaD had spent more time on those aspects of the story honestly since with each game it feels like the crime drama parts of it keep trying to get pushed to the backburner, but they still suffocate everything else- no, positives, positives-

im not someone who plays a lot of games so before i picked up any yakuza game id been feeling like Something Was Missing and that something was a piece of media. and then i played yakuza 0 and it was like oh. i guess i live here now. i really do need to start playing more videogames because i feel like its one of the phew mediums where we still constantly get adult protagonists dealing with Adult Things aside from romantic relationships or work without it also just being a parody or a comedy? and it taking itself seriously??

i keep thinking about yakuza 3 and how the game had you be with kiryu as he lived a normal life for a while, it felt like a resting point in his life because, well, it was. and how in yakuza 5 we got to go to work with him and i feel like stuff like that was missing from this game. every domestic and "normal" thing ichiban goes through in this game happens off screen, and for a game thats got friendship and the power of community at its center that feels kind of weird?

not sure how the rest of the fandom feels about y5 and the whole taxi substory and the parts of it you had to do for the main story but i really liked being able to see kiryu get somewhat comfortable in his new environment and do "normal" things. and, as flawed as it is, theres no debating the importance the quiet parts of yakuza 3 had on him and the games that came after it. if y3 hadnt had kiryu interact with the kids as much as it did, if it hadnt had us see how HAPPY he is living with them in okinawa, y5 and y6 wouldnt have hit as hard as their supposed to

in y5 you can even send money to the kids through atm's for christmas presents, and every time you do kiryu sends money thinking of a specific kid and he goes on a small tangent thinking about the things they like and how old they are and sending money according to what he thinks theyll want/need and its like- these are HIS KIDS. he knows their interests he knows their birthdays and even though hes not supposed to exist to them anymore he still wants them to have a good christmas because thats what children deserve thats what HIS children deserve-

i went- kiryu tangent. but back to ichiban, my point was that even in those games where they have the crime drama at the center and are extremely action packed, they still took the time to have kiryu do normal things so when he gets ripped from that you feel it. ichiban didnt get any of that, the crime drama isnt really as all-encompassing as it is in the other games and the "normal" bits of it you gotta hunt down around the map or be TOLD they happened

this was uh, this was supposed to be the Positive Thoughts post so ill get back to that rq. despite all of my barely disguised animosity towards how they didnt balanced the action and the character progressions i really did enjoy the game. i think. i adore ichiban so that counts right? im still real confused about why they established how he can get blinded with rage really easily but then didnt. do anything with that? in fact they kind of go back on it and just have him POSITIVE THOUGHTS POST GRAAAFKASFMPJJO

live laugh love ichiban, i wish the writers loved you as much as i do. i kept calling him a shonen protagonist in other posts because thats kind of the impression i got from him at the start and ive seen other people describe him like that too, but thats not exactly accurate to how he is as a character. hes a really nice person, a stubborn man thats got an idealistic view of the world and wants to make it better so his life and the people in it can be better. i love you kasuga ichiban and i hope whatever happens to you in infinite wealth isnt that bad cuz itll make me sad

who the FUCK are you nick and who do you work for

[luvism333]

cutest patooties to ever live omfg....... i love u clarianna

some details about my dr s/o annabeth chase!!

she thinks shes not much of a creative but my god she would make it as a poet im telling u.... type of person to say the most eloquent soul crushing tear jerking thing to her lover under the moonlight and not understand when u start crying

she journals!!! can and has and will cut a man for trying to read her stuff. she's very protective, but when she's sleepy or feeling sappy she'll tell me about something she wrote that she was looking back on

shes super like artsy too!! she doesnt think so but shes a huge film buff she knows alot about cinematography and has little profiles about her favourite directors, says things like mise en scene and motif. shes the type to read the books and analyse the differences between the film adaptation and the original. shes soo..................... film major fake deep pinterest boys wish they were her

okay maybe just my personal opinion but shes so fun to talk to. she just has so many thoughts youre never carrying the convo and whatever you say she really thinks about it, shes the type of person that listens to *listen* not just to reply you know

shes the biggest hate watcher alive i swear she just likes to watch things to get pissed off and plan out how shed execute the storyline better. tons of people think its annoying and cant watch things with her but i love it shes so funny and i love that she gets engaged in everything we watch

they call us the gingerbread dream team bc when we were kids we DOMINATED the camp gingerbread house competitions. she designed full on condos and mansions out of gingerbread and i decorated them to the max

she tries to act all tough but shes SUCHH a softie its insane. i made her watch me before you after i read the book and she cried and then wouldnt talk to me for 3 hours. DONT let the rbf fool you shes the type of gf to bring home 600 strays and beg u to let them stay

she tried to force herself to like classical music when she was a kid but she literally couldnt do it. it distracted her more than helped her focus and she spent like 2 weeks obsessively researching trying to prove that its not actually good for ur brain

shes sooo mf competitive and idc what anybody says i love it. u ask anyone else and theyll say they hate playing w her bc she takes it too serious but theyre just mad they always lose to her 🥱🥱

if i tell her i hate someone but i dont have a reason she immediately comes up with 46 reasons why we both hate them. like "idk why but he just rubs me the wrong way..." "he rubs you the wrong way because he's grossly incompetent and irresponsible with his finances-"

she doesnt mind parties but the second i want to leave she’ll drop everything to go. sometimes ill just be like “i cant wait to sleep tn” and she’ll be like “do you want to go? now? do you want to leave? we can leave. we will leave. say your goodbyes.”

me her n percy like playing video games together and every time we play a horror game she refuses to admit when she gets scared. she could literally fall out of her seat screaming for her mommy and she would be like “i was trying to catch you off guard so i could win its part of the plan you SIMPLETONS wouldnt get it”

she hates me shitposting on social media but is miraculously in my replies every time i post 🤔🤔 even if its just to call me a dumbass she never misses a status

she goes way too far with her insults sometimes and i always tell her off but ill never admit i think its hilarious. its always during serious arguments shes not casually mean but she'll be like "you have such an insane amount of blindspots it's no wonder why your girlfriend needed to see someone else"

lowkey a horrible influence w my charmspeak 😭😭 its her personal life cheat code ill be like beth dont u think i should learn some problem solving skills and she'll be like this is problem solving. solve our problem by charmspeaking us out of a speed ticket

i love it tho. literally everyone discourages any use if charmspeak bc theyre afraid, but annabeth knows me and she knows id never use it maliciously - she trusts me to use it for silly reasons even tho i shouldnt <33

laughs loudly and unashamedly when i trip or walk into things but if anyone else laughs its instantly not funny anymore

unironically a "dont talk to me until ive had my coffee" person. she drinks it black w no sugar.... freak

i dont talk when im upset (bc my charmspeak flares up) and she learned australian sign language so she still can talk to me. shes so incredibly talented and ambitious and thats her love language, she'd learnt literally anything for someone she loves <33

omfg my mortal family is OBSESSED WITH HER. shes so annoying she did so much research about our culture before she met them she knew all the right points to hit and exactly how to behave i swear my nan likes her more than me

im super super physically affectionate. even tho she isnt herself, since we were kids shes always let me crawl all over her like its nothing. like she lets me sleep in her lap while she researches or holds my hand while she barks orders, shes so used to it if i dont touch her for a day she assumes something is wrong

when we cuddle she complains that im too hot and trying to fuse myself to her skin, but if i try to move away she'll pull me back. def the type of girlfriend to trap you in bed in the morning because she doesnt want u to get up

she's an AWFULLLLL cook its so funny. in my dr my passion is cooking nd i become a chef so we're like the perfect match. she's good at baking which relies more on strict measurements and instructions, but with cooking meals she just flops. refuses to accept this flaw and wont stop trying to prove she can do it

she loooves my cooking tho (´ ω `♡) annabeth doesnt rly think much about what she eats so long as it has enough nutrients so i could serve her grey sludge and she'd eat it up n tell me thank you, but i take it as a compliment to my skills anyway

HOLY YAPPPPP sorry i went on for 60 years sighhh i just miss her...................

THANK U GIGS cutest post everrrrrrr ur so romantic + ASK ME ABOUT BETH!!

shifters; what are some little, random things you love about your s/o??

LOVERGIRLS (genderneutral) UNITE this is pretty much a safe space to ramble about your s/o tell me everything 🤭🤭🤭🤭 pet peeves they have?? romantic moments?? quirks? a tradition you guys have ANYTHING i got inspired seeing @hrrtshape's post about her & coryo and i thought it was so cute i love her acc some things i love about my s/o/clarisse! ❤ for me and i will die on this hill CLARISSE IS AN ARTIST SHE SECRETLY LOVES TO DRAW IM SORRY 😶😶

like i dreamt about it once and now it just makes sense. its like something clicked she WOULD be rlly good at drawing and find it therapeutic, and literally no one would expect it from her. she is insanely talented!! like she just has a natural knack for pencil sketching and it always looks so good meanwhile she'll be like 'this? that's just a sketch 🤷‍♀️' CLARISSE. she also likes to draw me sometimes 🤭🤭🤭🤭 this is my main headcanon/thing i love about her but i love her LOTS so here other stuff; ❤ when we end up becoming friends we find out we have a LOT in common and that includes liking the same foods so we both rlly love those sea salt caramel enlightened yogurt bars & everytime we somehow get a box of them stocked up in the big house (cause chiron won't buy food/junk food for campers meals but he will RARELY keep stuff in the fridge if a camper gets it) its like a death race to get the last one and it gets intense ❤ when we're kinda younger like in tlt era (good times) shes the type of person to talk like a corny 80s bully stereotype when shes mad. she grows out of it and even though i never bring it up later on, its something i ALWAYS think about LMAO. the 2000s are definitely a time because how did bullies take themselves seriously? 'your ass is grass and i'm gonna mow it!!! 😠😠' ..wrap it up 😭😭 will you guys unfollow me if i say im kind of attracted to it😞

❤ no, because she kind of looks like abby anderson.... IF YOU PLAY TLOU YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!! ❤ she gets really clingy when she’s tired without even realizing it💞💞 as well as she lovesss having me play w her hair and touch it

❤ she always pulls me closer to her whenever we’re in the same bed or cuddling, she lays on top of me or puts my arms over her when she seeks comfort but she doesnt want to say anything ❤ TOUGH LOVE GALORE!! honestly she can be pretty blunt but its something i really appreciate and respect about her because even tho i dont like when she uses it to be hurtful clarisse is the one person you can rely on to tell you how it is & have your back regardless and i respect her a lot for that; especially when she starts to train me how to fight ❤ its kinda weird because its like for a while we don't rlly care/ know eachother on a deeper level even a little dislike for eachother BUT even then she always had a little affection and concern for me in small moments like when the cards r stacked against us or one of us is in trouble/danger. IMO it'll happen being somewhere with the same people for so long you're bound to care abt them building off this, one thing that i secretly love to do is plan for capture the flag with her and the rest of the cabins cause even if it doesnt always go well it's so fun to come up with strategies for our team & put aside everything we have between us to scheme LOL.

❤ BACK HUGS BACK HUGS BACK HUGS hugs in general are our thing and i know that clarisse has a hard time being affectionate so it means a lot whenever she is touchy with me 😭💓💓💓 she shows her love in her own way but rlly she's a big softie once she's comfortable with u ❤ my favorite colors are more cool colors like robin eggs blue/blue, periwinkle, seafoam green, lavender, pink/coral pink, and silver while hers are warmer colors like red and orange and brown and gold and bronze dark red and bronze are her favorites idk i just thought i'd point that out cause i didnt even plan this, its just something i noticed

❤ whenever i’m sad she always knows what to do to make me feel better aka hugs & hot chocolate

❤ she loves to pick me up toss me over her shoulder and carry me around like its nothing, shes sooo strong she always gives me a piggyback ride and carries me around camp💕 ❤ she gives me the softest kisses, she just melts into me, her hands cradling my face lovesick rambling over ✅✅✅✅ i rlly hope ppl see this and start writing about their relationship in their realities/dr and ofc ask me anything if u want to! like anything about my dr or my s/o like seriously i am LOVE SICK and i love rambling abt my reality *the spirit of clarisse possessing me* yeah so guys, rant about your s/o or ill pulverise you 😠😠😠 AND THATS NOT A THREAT ITS A PROMISE (i swear ive heard her say that before 😭😭 ⬇⬇⬇⬇

(tagging some of my mutuals but you dont have to talk abt ur s/o if you dont want to 💗) @luvism333 @ravinaaa @freewinnie @al3shifts @kikissdiaryy @beadelmare @lanathedoll @rorysshiftingdiary @virtualsnupi @lexidayne

[httpiastri]

https://www.tumblr.com/httpiastri/746212709248401408/hes-so-baby-girl-in-this-i-need-him?source=share

nono.... i think the people would like you to start speaking on his hands bc... um. i am thinking a LOT of thoughts right now.

lili 😭 i really shouldn't let my thoughts about this run free 😭😭 i have tried so hard to only post arms/hand/neck pics of oscar bcs that's who i started this blog for but... i may have slipped a few times...... and it's getting way too hard to hold back

lemme just insert these pics and then disappear bcs if i start to think about this... i will be up all night......

[cup-o-stars]

Last part for old GF sketches

(Actually, most of these aren't old at all, but their average is brought down by the last picture, which I drew back in August and kept forgetting to post)

[casualavocados]

#Chen Yi versus Ai Di's neck (AI DI version)

Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)

[consultingfujoshi]

everyone else is giving their take on this so I feel as if I should too. I am angry about burt and irving now having two almost-kisses and them still finding a reason for them to never close that gap. like, yea it makes narrative sense that neither of those scenes contained a kiss, it's compelling even, if I view it objectively I actually love that because I care deeply about these characters and want them to be written realistically and with nuance.

but I am not gonna sit here and pretend that I'm fine with how this compares to the straight couples that have had so much more this season. if burt and irving's story existed in a bubble where markhelly and all the rest didn't serve as points of comparison I don't think I'd be half as upset at the way this ended. I'd be able to appreciate the impact of their being unable to kiss TWICE now in different universes because of forces outside of their control without looking across at every. single. other. couple. who are all straight. and going. why do they get that and we don't. why is it only the gay couple that have to be written "realistically" where they're still not ready to kiss. why can allowances and indulgences be made for dramatic effect for EVERYONE except them. I don't know if it's intentional homophobia, or queerbait, or if they're really just that squeamish about the idea of two old men kissing each other, but the double standard is there no matter the motivation behind it. and when you combine that with irving's innie being effectively killed off four episodes into the second season, and now his outie potentially written out of the show too, all I'm saying is it becomes hard to give them the benefit of the doubt.

we're all aware john turturro may not return for another season and that's why they felt the need to wrap up irving's two storylines somehow so they weren't left on a loose end should he decide not to come back, and I get that, and I'm glad there was some sense of finality to it, but then why not allow us just this one thing. just one moment of indulgence. because it might actually be our, and their, last chance. would it have killed them to just let them kiss this one time if there was a chance we'd never see them again, a chance they'd never see each other again. the truth is, no, it wouldn't have been hard at all. but they still made the decision to withhold that. because they can't allow us or them even the most basic kindness whilst handing the straight couples everything on a silver platter.

I'm not gonna get into the pacing issues of their relationship this season, how we jumped from them shyly asking each other out on another date to burt carrying out the hit on irving, how there feels like a missing scene in between those two events, because that relates to a wider problem with the structure of the show itself that is beyond the scope of this criticism. but i think it's telling that rather than giving us that extra time with them, they took a whole episode away from our main cast where even cobel got to kiss a one off male character that we will never hear from or see of again, and the supposed flagship romance of season 1 can't even get that. at what point am I allowed to call that thing in the corner that looks, acts, and talks like a duck a fucking duck?

if it sounds like I'm bitter, and jealous, it's because I am. because whether or not the double standard is intentional or not, it's still there. and I really did think a show that was able to present such special, compelling, meaningful queer characters would be a little more self aware about the message they're sending. and it fucking sucks that this has become just another show where I have to swallow my frustration and accept that they're not writing this for me. I and my fellow queer audience will never be the priority. even now we are still begging for scraps

[simcardiac-arrested]

ATTENTION: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS TREE? IF YOU HAVE, YOU MIGHT HAVE FALLEN INTO SOME SORT OF RIP IN THE FABRIC OF TIME

alt version because i also liek it :)

[oaksapling]

decided i didnt like her last makeover so here's nicky version 289 or something

[ulteri0rm0tives]

It's every iteration.

It's every iteration of V that will always find Johnny. Every iteration of V that Johnny grows to care about. It's every iteration of each other, in every universe, that will always find each other. They'll always become inseparable, tied together in unfathomable ways. Ways they could never truly unravel from each other in the end, no matter the end.

They'll always be destined for one another. No matter what face is worn. No matter what universe. No matter what, they're always meant to be. No matter what, the stars will always align for them, just to come crashing down from the sky.

[cosmocove]

time to make your choice only you can be the one

[squeakadeeks]

im going to be a micro ass

as much as i was frustrated with a number of roadblocks over the past few months like my sewing machine breaking and not being able to afford infinite fabric lol- i had to return to illustrative art and that was a really good thing for my psyche. i think i can say that im like...actually genuinely happy with my art now? i dont want to come off as egotistical but i've always struggled with feeling OK about my illustrative stuff. But after the past few crash course months of daily exercises it feels like everything finally clicked. i can draw easier, faster, and when its done its like "oh yeah. thats my guy. there he is fr."

[azudarlings]

martin hates being called 'nice.' like, it's a fine compliment on its own, nothing inherently wrong with it, but it's so... bland. generic. it's the 'compliment' that martin is so used to getting because people don't see him as anything else other than just 'nice.' to the point where it's a bit condescending. to the point where martin's eye twitches whenever someone says it all cheerily as if it meant something.

anyone can be nice. it's not like the only thing martin has ever been is 'nice.' it's the type of thing you get told when no one actually knows you and has to figure out something positive to say about you.

[yuwuta]

I LOVE UR BRAIN SO BAD 😭😭😭 YOU ALWAYS POST THEBBEST HEADCANONS AND THOUGHTS LIKE. WORK HUSBAND GOJO. AND JUST HAVING A WHOLE IMAGINATION OF THE OFFICE W NANAMI AND HIGURUMA AND TOJI I?????? I WANT TO LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN

TEEHEEEE you’re so sweet <33333 the work husband to actual husband to househusband gojo pipeline is so so real to me and the office au that comes with it truly does take up space in my brain, so here’s some more loosely established points 

satoru has been your work husband since you got your first job in undergrad. you two met in your dorms, and became friends, and eventually you thought a job would help with your time management skills, so you got a very low-maintenance position at the front desk of the library. satoru applied right after you and schmoozed the two little old librarians into giving him the same shifts as you. that was probably the first moment satoru knew he was a little bit in love with you—because he had no reason to have a job while in school, but this small change in your schedule made him miss you so much that he was moved to get his very first job, probably ever, just to spend more time with you. 

he wasn’t bad at his library receptionist job, but he technically wasn’t good at it, either. if a student asked him for a laptop charger or to check out a book or something, he could do that, but anything else he’d just smile and say, “oh, you’ve gotta ask the pretty girl right there about that, she knows way more than me,” and bat his eyelashes at you. except, then, when you did need to get up to grab something for someone, satoru would just spring up instead, and tell you he’s got it. it’s like… he was incapable of helping anybody else unless he got to flirt with you, and then help you out to help them out……… strange boy 

anyways, satoru makes it a habit to assist you through your student jobs throughout undergrad, and then follows you to the same law school and repeats the process there. (also not to elle woods-ify him a bit but his father heavily questions him going to law school btw because satoru has never showed any interest in working, let alone following in his footsteps to be a lawyer, and now he’s going to law school? his mom is a bit sharper though, because when satoru tells his parents he’s going to the same law school as you, she just smiles and sips her tea and wonders if her son has already made a trip to their family jeweler). 

the firm is large, but the floor you work on is a pretty close knit group. there’s hiromi’s office at the tail end, which is the largest because he’s managing partner and he practically lives in there. on the other end, both you and nanami have decently sized offices. satoru doesn’t like hiromi at first because he thinks he’s mean. then satoru watches him play a little prank on kento, and suddenly the two of them are best friends. it would be a surprisingly wholesome friendship if their common denominator wasn’t irritating kento, and acting as guard dogs for you. 

kento’s office used to be just the bare necessities—law books, his degree, basic furniture, maybe a fancy paperweight, until satoru got his hands on it and decked it out. which is not something kento asked for, nor he thinks is necessary, but that doesn’t stop satoru from continually adding little trinkets and decorations and art to his office to make it livelier. when kento first meets you, he’s surprised when you tell him satoru gojo is going to be your secretary because kento interned for satoru’s father for two summers during law school, but when kento sees you and satoru together for the first time, it answers all of his questions. satoru couldn’t be more of a lovesick fool if he tried. 

listen the ex-convict to single father to janitor to lawyer toji pipeline is so real to me. while toji is working as a janitor at the firm, satoru slips once and then jokes that toji shines the floors too aggressively on purpose to make him slip, toji tells him to fuck off and he can sue for harassment. they truly don’t like each other at first, but once satoru steals toji’s masterkey to get into your office one night after you’re gone to leave flowers, and handle some paperwork to lighten your load in the morning, toji is sort of impressed. he still almost hits him with a broomstick, but even someone as gruff as him can see that satoru had pure intentions. toji is a lot of things, but he’s not immune to or devoid of love or passion. so, eventually he and satoru develop a weird sort of banter and respect for each other. one day someone actually tries to accuse toji of not putting the wet floor sign down and how it’s gonna be a lawsuit because some lowlife janitor fucked up his $3000 suit. satoru catches the argument as he’s heading upstairs and recognized the schmuck as the stuck up lawyer on the other side of kento’s case. satoru’s ready to jump in, but toji’s displaying an impressive amount of physical restraint and legal knowledge that when the dust is all settled, satoru asks him if he ever considered being a lawyer. toji laughs at it at first, but after a month of serious consideration (and megumi becoming a college freshman), he figures it can’t be all that bad. and turns out, toji’s a half-decent lawyer—once you’ve spent so much of your life skirting (or blatantly breaking) the law, you become pretty good at getting people out or around it, too. and with his life experience, he’s a pretty good judge of character; so when it comes time to lock up the bad ones, toji makes sure they get the maximum sentence.

except he has a bad habit of sending out emails with “URGENT: NEEDS ATTN” in the subject, which prompts you, kento, and hiromi to rush to his office, just to see toji with his feet up on his desk tell you that, “the emergency is i hate the opposing counsel, and now that i work on this side of the law i’d really like to not kill him, so somebody else should take this case.” 

anyways back to work husband secretary satoru. he pulls you out of boring meetings under the guise of an urgency, just for him to admit that the emergency is that he missed you, and you two were gonna be late for your lunch reservation. because he’s actually a licensed attorney, he can actually carry out duties an associate otherwise would, which saves you a lot of time and trouble; and it means that satoru gets to work even more closely with you, which is always an upside for him. sometimes you ask him to hand you documents and instead he just hands you his hand. and then pretends to blush and preen like a schoolgirl which always draws way too much attention to the two of you, but there’s no way to stop him either. he takes your coat off of your shoulders when you arrive in the morning, and helps you put it back on in the evening. when you tell him you’re looking for an apartment closer to the firm, he has eight places lined up for viewing, and one surprise at the end which happens to be the other vacant penthouse suite in his apartment building; which, conveniently, would make you satoru’s neighbor. he claims that it’ll be just like in college, but it certainly doesn’t feel that way when you finally move in and satoru can now loudly and proudly proclaim, “see you at home!” in the halls at work now. 

[spittyfishy]

Thoughts on the Typhlosion allegations/pokemon teraleaks?

Okay, here’s what I’ll say about that. (And fair warning, it is nothing positive)

I think the fandoms reaction to these “leaks” has been absolutely ridiculous. They are not canon, they do not change pre-existing information present in the games and anime. Concept art is interesting, but things that were scrapped and did not appear in the actual media should not be regarded as fact.

Especially the Typhlosion thing, it’s like if jk Rowling said ‘oh yeah at one point in the writing process I thought Harry Potter would be a girl, but I changed my mind’ and the fandom went ‘oh my god Harry’s been a girl this whole time!’ Like no, a lot of work and ideas go into the concept and development of works like these, and then creators pick and choose the best of their ideas and use that, but I think it’s very problematic to judge them on the concepts that they themselves already decided weren’t good enough to use.

I have very strict opinions about what counts as canon, and that very simply is ‘what is in the work itself’. Unused concepts, things a creator said years later online, and really popular headcanons don’t count. They’ll never count, sorry but that’s not how language works, you can’t just redefine canon to encompass anything that maybe could have been a part of the project. It can be super neat to look at what changes could have been made, but it needs to be understood that that does not impact what the actual game is like.

This Typhlosion thing especially, it *could* be neat if people just took the scrapped stories to go “oh yeah the Pokémon world could have had myths and legends similar to our own! That will be interesting to explore in fan works!” But that’s not what the majority of people did. Instead, people took it to mean that somehow all Typhlosion are secretly evil and shouldn’t be left alone with children and anyone who has one or likes that Pokémon should be ridiculed based on nothing.

Because the stuff that in those leaks (baring things about unreleased games) are nothing. Looking at them in the sense of seeing ‘How It’s Made’ is interesting, fine go for it yeah sure, but they have absolutely no bearing on the actual franchise itself. And I have no patience for the people taking them as gospel and insisting they be considered more true over the actual canon.

[ironicsoap]

you are expendable, you are not expected to return