#doesn’t mean I still don’t need medication to KEEP ME ALIVE.

[mycological-mariner]

The goddamn neuropsych cancelled my appointment and rescheduled it without telling me. The doctor said he’d be in around 10 and is now in a meeting, haven’t seen him. I have all the wires off at least but what I thought was a reaction was in fact my skin coming off, so now I have a small slice of flesh taken out of my side and collarbone. All the time I’ve spent waiting on doctors to come in might’ve been spent showering and getting super glue out of my cuts and hair. What a fucking nightmare.

[prettybbychim]

[this became much longer than i intended whoops]

u know i think it would’ve been much better if the ode of resurrection was not shown to us immediately, and wasn’t a main part of their culture. have people die throughout the archon quest, make us believe that there’s no saving them. kill off kachina at the start and convince us that she’s the first playable character in genshin thats not alive.

build up these bonds, forge these friendships, make us care.

just to take it all away

that’s war.

but there’s a tiny flame, that glimmer of hope. maybe it’s something the pyro archons have been working on, passing it down to their successors. something mavuika has been working on. yeah u heard that right she’s actually doing something wow get citlali in there to help out. get the whole goddamn tribe involved idc

there’s a scramble to find the last of the heroes. they don’t want to force it or fuck something up but they’re running out of time. the abyss is coming. it will consume the nation. they need to fucking buckle up and get down to it.

they could probably still go into the night kingdom to search for kachina, so that mualani can get her ancient name. or it can occur under entirely different circumstances. haven’t given that much thought yet. do they find her?

do they find her and can’t actually bring her back to the surface?

for the next part, we’re gonna have to shake things up because we need the captain on our team sooner rather than later. how that happens is up in the air but regardless, we put aside our differences to save natlan.

so, we help the captain find old dragon tech. maybe we enlist the help of kinich and ajaw, maybe we go into ochkanatlan, tie some of that shit in. we can take iansan along too, who is super duper strong and can carry all our fancy dragon tech or smth idk the three of them need more involvement !!! ajaw would drive me up the wall but it’s a necessary evil

in ochkanatlan, we see how the abyss can mimic lifeforms. the twin is in irminsul right? maybe it’s steals the twin’s image, but the traveler knows it’s not them because their twin would never say things like this. we learn that they abyss manifestations are (always?) twisted and mutilated.

we see the dragon. we don’t defeat it, that’s for the world quest lol but we get the image of the dragon in our minds so that when it shows up later down the line, we know what the fuck is happening lol

on our trip, we learn bits and pieces about the captain. it’s all disconnected, nothing makes sense. and since we’re nosey little fuckers, we find correspondence with the tsaritsa in his belongings.

capitano is gentle with his body. maybe a little too gentle. it catches the traveler’s eye but they don’t know what it means, they have no grounds for suspicion. it’s blown off as recovering from his duel with mavuika. (little do we know that he was hit directly in the heart and he’s worried, goddamnit)

ororon lets it slip that something feels off with the captain’s soul. (could the captain be using ororon’s sensitivities to monitor the souls housed inside him? would he eventually tell ororon what’s going on? or would that be too risky?)

ororon receives ancient name same as before, nothing really needs to change there i suppose. more suspicion is thrown on the captain because of the identity of the soul trying to possess ororon. maybe the captain didn’t share his plan in its entirety, he has a lot riding on this, he can’t afford to fuck it up, and keeps his cards close to his chest. he and mavuika can still argue in front of ororon like mom and dad lol

chuychu dies. she doesn’t get to give a long goodbye. she bleeds out in her sister’s arms. (they actually try to stop the bleeding and give her medical care) chasca goes berserk hell yeah, there’s a struggle. she manages to rein herself in, the love between sisters reigns supreme. chasca gets her ancient name

boom u got all ur heroes. they supercharge mavuika to beat back the abyss core thing. what was its name? gilgamesh? i don’t fucking know

the losses are extreme

fast forward a bit bc i’m losing steam and attention span here

we dive back into the night kingdom to track down the “brain” of the abyss corruption. the people we’ve met and lost in natlan help us out. kachina can be added to the mix. the gay lovers, chuychu and her pokémon team, boba and coconut — the whole gang’s here yooo i actually loved this part. favorite section by far

and after our trip in ochkanatlan, we know that the dragon we’re fighting is an abyssal manifestation. the voices of the previous pyro archons are their own but the words are all wrong, designed to discourage and distress us.

we defeat it using the power of friendship (i’m gonna kms)

also mavuika’s kit is completely different. i’m giving her a redesign fuck it. but that’s a post for another time.

traveler seems pretty good ngl i just wish the cons aren’t limited to fighting the dragon. i really liked what i was seeing and then they pooped all over my party (what’s the point!!!)

instead of a big parade, we gather around together at the stadium to finally try the thing all the pyro archons have been cooking. the heroes are a necessary component.

the incandescent ode of resurrection

among the many, kachina comes out of the flames. mualani sobs her heart out and vows to never let her out of her sight ever again

chuychu perhaps? 👀 pls pls she’s the only one besides cap and ororon that i give a shit about pllssssss playable chuychu when? her design is fantastic as is u dont need to touch it PLEASE—

now we can have a party!! after everything is all said and done, we can have One party instead of the five or so we’ve had since we came to natlan. (nation of war? more like nation of fiestas)

ororon, though, feels uneasy, and not because of the atmosphere. he says he’s going to find the captain, but he can’t explain why. concerned, the traveler and paimon try to follow him but are intercepted by citlali, who is for once not freaking out about ororon’s whereabouts, instead…

oh but wait. where’s mavuika gone? oh nooo

plays out relatively the same i suppose. could use some tweaking but not anything significant enough to mention right now.

except now we have somewhat of an understanding of the captain already, all the little bits and pieces we noticed, and the clues we (so rudely) discovered, it’s all starting to make sense now. we’ve also spent more time w him, the emotional attachment runs deeper, and it’s much more painful to experience.

bittersweet

mavuika is confused, especially in the days coming after. she had planned to die then. she said her goodbyes in a roundabout way. she finished the painting of her family, so they’ll never be forgotten. she saved her nation from the oppression of the abyss, resurrected so, so many. there was only one thing left to do… she was supposed to be the one to do it.

what does she do now?

what does she do with herself now, when she hadn’t planned for her own future? it was supposed to end, she was supposed to die. could she have reunited with her family? could she have seen them once again? she’s sad over what could have been, she’s confused because how did it end up like this, she’s mad because the captain stole it from her, she’s guilty because he was ultimately the better choice

what do you do when you’ve spent hundreds of years waiting for your destined day? when you’re only ambition has been this.

it’s time to learn how to live.

the end~

[cecilysass]

Beacon (6/6)

Read on AO3 | Tagging @today-in-fic and my poangpal @libbytxf

Chapter 6

Back in his room, she pulls out her medical bag and makes him endure an entire exam, which he tolerates without any comment because she still seems so jumpy.

He doesn’t even make any jokes about playing doctor. He just watches her closely. Her fingers are slightly trembling as she slips her stethoscope under his shirt to listen for his heart.

When she’s finished, she drops down to sit on the bed next to him, looking dazed.

“You’re fine,” she says like she’s sincerely surprised. “Your eyes are a little bloodshot from the coughing, but I think you’re going to be fine.”

“Thanks, Doc,” he says in a dry husk, smiling self-consciously.

She begins to busy herself artlessly stuffing her stethoscope and penlight back in her bag. “You should probably get some rest,” she says distractedly. “We can—you know—discuss the rest of the case in the morning.”

“The rest of the case?” he says.

“Right,” she says. She closes up the bag and stands. “I’ll wash your sweatshirt and sweatpants and return them later, of course. Do you need anything else before I go?”

“Scully,” he rasps.

“Glass of water maybe?”

“Come on,” he says, and catches her hand in his. “You just can’t leave me here thinking about what you said all night.”

With a tiny reluctant sigh she sits back down. He keeps a firm hold on her hand.

“It’s true?” he asks her, trying to meet her eyes. “You weren’t lying for the ghost?”

“Lying for the ghost?” She performs a miniature eye roll, as though that suggestion were beneath her dignity. “Mulder.”

“To save me,” he insists. “You could’ve been. Or��� exaggerating.”

“Of course not,” she protests. Her voice softens. “I didn’t lie at all.”

There’s a pause as he lets that sink in. He allows his thumb to lightly run over her knuckles: once, twice.

“Just so you know, I’d, uh, never have brought any of this up on my own,” Mulder flounders in his scratchy voice. “I’d never have presumed that … I mean, I understand about work. Professionalism. Keeping things separate. Feelings don’t necessarily have to be acted on.”

“Right.” Scully’s chin moves up and down. She lets the moment hang there before adding quietly, “I wouldn’t have brought it up on my own either.”

His heart sinks. It’s more than he could hope for, he reminds himself, even knowing his feelings are shared. He could be pretty happy with that much. That and being alive, despite a very close call.

Scully turns to look at him like she’s expecting him to say something else, but he can’t think of what else would add to the conversation. Maybe this is where he should start lying: oh good, Scully, I was hoping you’d agree we should just act like this never happened.

They’re sitting close, their joined hands resting on his leg. Her expression shifts from expectant to a little pained, and her entire body lists toward his. He doesn’t realize she’s about to kiss him until it’s happening, until she’s already pulling away, looking at him with enormous eyes.

That felt like a question, he realizes. You better come up with the right answer.

Before he can stop to second guess, he slips his hand around her neck and pulls the back of her head towards him, managing to crush her lips to his. He kisses her with a force that startles him. Her lips are soft and part quickly for him. She tastes very faintly of cherry.

Mulder knows he should keep this sweet and slow, the way she deserves—but his body prefers swift and intense. Destabilized again by want, he thinks fleetingly. He reminds himself to hold back. His body tenses like a bowstring.

She pulls her mouth away and presses her forehead to his, letting her thumbs drag jagged lines down his jaw. “Does your chest hurt?” she whispers, frowning.

“No, no.” He shakes his head jerkily, giving her a sheepish smile. “I’m just, uh, awfully worked up.”

“Is that a problem?” she asks, cocking her head.

“Only because I don’t want to be an asshole.”

With a tiny knowing smile she leans in to kiss him. This time she is more overtly passionate, gripping him tighter, her mouth teasing his expertly. She scoots herself closer and closer until she is effectively sitting in his lap.

The sudden proximity of her squirming body causes him to squeeze his eyes closed. He makes a creaky, unflattering groaning sound and burrows his face into her neck in embarrassment.

“Ohhh Scully,” he murmurs, muffled, “what happens next here?”

She doesn’t say anything for a moment, and when she does, her voice is careful. “I was assuming I might…” She pauses. “Is it okay with you if I stay?”

Her apparent nervousness makes him bury a smile into the warm, soft crook of her neck. “I think that would be okay with me, yes.”

She puts both of her hands on his cheeks, abruptly pulling his face directly to hers. Her expression is serious, her eyes wide and solemn. She whispers very close, her breath on his lips: “You scared me today, Mulder.”

“I’m … sorry.”

“I know,” she says. “But…” She rakes her fingers through his hair, and he feels waves of warmth breaking all over his body. “You can’t leave me like that. Alone. I don’t even like it when you’re late and you don’t call. If you were… I couldn’t—” Her voice breaks a little.

She’s not as articulate as usual, but he understands her nonetheless—the urgency of what she is trying to say.

He knows she’s thinking of her sister. He knows what it is to be sitting in the dark, waiting forever for the person you lost. He knows there’s a reason why Hero followed Leander into the arms of the cruel black sea.

Leaning into her gently caressing fingers, he realizes he doesn’t know exactly what to say to her.

Her touches make his skin prickle, quicken his breathing, send blood coursing, revive all of his body. All reminders he doesn’t have to respond in words. There are other ways to tell her they’re both still here.

***

The persistent knock on the door wakes Scully. Bang bang bang. It’s not going away, she can tell.

She lifts herself from the pillow and away from Mulder’s possessive arm to squint at the clock. It’s seven a.m., much too early to be disturbed after their eventful night.

She looks around at her immediate surroundings. She has one leg wedged under the quilt in between Mulder’s, and as she more fully sits up in the bed, pushing off the cover, he makes a complaining grunt. When she manages to stand up, he grabs the quilt eagerly and flops over in bed, curling himself up into a ball under the cover.

Well. After all of that respiratory distress—and various other activities last night—he could probably use extra rest.

Bang bang bang.

Scully sighs and looks down at her attire. At some point in the middle of the night, she’d reached for Mulder’s giant sweatshirt and slipped it back on; her practical side deciding it was too cold for a whole night of sleeping nude, post coital spooning or no. But she’s still naked from the waist down. She looks around for the sweatpants and finds them on the floor, slipping them on quickly.

Whoever is banging on the door tries another time.

“Hold on,” she calls, smoothing her hair back furiously. She reaches the door, jerking it open, trying to focus her sleep-addled mind.

“Agent Scully,” Duncan says, surprised. “I—”

Scully remembers too late that this one was Mulder’s room. Duncan’s eyes are probably adjusting to the dark room behind her: the curled-up body in the bed, the scattered clothes.

“Good morning, Duncan,” Scully says with a sigh, bearing this revelation of her private business stoically. “May I help you?”

“I just wanted to tell you and Agent Mulder that I realized something rather … crucial to the case,” Duncan says, making a Herculean effort to tactfully avert his eyes from the background scene.

“Oh?” she says. She glances back at Mulder, who has not moved from where he’s huddled under the covers. “If you give me a moment, I’ll join you downstairs in the kitchen. You can fill me in.”

***

“Something you said yesterday made me think of it,” Duncan explains eagerly, filling her coffee cup. “You told Banoy and me that lighting the brass lanterns was supposed to be lucky.”

“I did,” she agrees, accepting the cup gratefully.

“I assumed that’s because the lanterns were like Hero’s beacon light,” Duncan continues, “or at least that there was a rough association. Light shining in the darkness and all that.”

She holds the cup to her lips, taking a sip, nodding. Duncan is placing a manila folder filled with photos on the kitchen table.

“So let me show you this.” He triumphantly lays an image in front of her. “The exterior of the Inn last spring.”

“Before the renovation,” Scully says, picking the photo up and examining it. It looks different, the shape of the entrance to the house, although she recognizes the walkway and the door. It definitely appeared more generally rundown: peeling paint, dilapidated ornamentation, a slight sag.

“You see the porch? The top? Its shape?” Duncan nods towards the photo.

In the photo the decorative trim on the top of the porch seems to have square corners with a jagged decorative pattern running underneath. It looks like sections of the decorative pattern had fallen off, like missing teeth of a jack o’lantern.

“Look,” Duncan says, pointing at the pattern. “They’re flames. See the little spikes?”

Scully studies the photo more closely and sees that he is right. The little jagged parts are tongues of fire. The top of the porch seems meant to resemble a lantern.

“The porch was designed to look like a lantern light,” she realizes aloud. “Like a giant beacon.”

“I never noticed it before,” Duncan says, pink with excitement. He pulls out another photo to show her another angle. “Probably because it’d fallen apart so much over the years. And I think the little decorative flourishes added on by the Victorians disguised it somewhat. But the porch was obviously originally designed to look like Hero’s beacon light.”

“And like the brass lamps inside the house,” Scully says, fascinated.

“Exactly,” Duncan says.

Scully takes in every detail of the photo, trying to put the pieces together.

“So when you tore that part of the porch down for the renovations…”

“Hero’s beacon light was gone,” Duncan says. “And that prompted some kind of reaction from her. She goes from a colorful New England legend to … I don’t know, a scene from a horror movie. But of course we had no idea demolishing the porch would invoke a ghostly serial killer.”

Scully shakes her head, looking out the window at the tranquil snow-blanketed town below. She wonders if the old family, the descendants of the Younge family, might have known something about this all along.

“So what do you plan to do now?” she asks Duncan.

“Well, it won’t make Banoy very happy,” Duncan says, “but clearly we need to turn our porch roof back into a beacon light. Even if our renovations take a few more weeks. I mean… a murderous ghost is bad for business.”

“I… I guess you’re right,” Scully says, her shoulders lifting and falling. “It’s as logical as anything, I suppose.”

“Anyway, Banoy and I can come up with a better faux beacon design than what was there before,” Duncan says.

“Something less last century,” Scully deadpans. She pinches the bridge of her nose in consternation. “It’s just hard to accept that you have to consult with a ghost about your architectural choices.”

Duncan gives her a sly look. “Am I to assume you’re a believer in ghosts now, Agent Scully?”

“With … many caveats.”

“A lot can change overnight,” he says significantly.

She places both hands around her coffee cup, her cheeks pink. “Yes.” She swirls her coffee slightly. “That’s true.”

“Maybe you and Agent Mulder should go back to Washington for now. I’m sure you’d like to be home for the holidays,” Duncan suggests. “We can check in with you again after a month when our renovation is finished. We can let you know if anything significant has changed.”

She nods, biting her lip. “I will pass that suggestion along.”

“Maybe next month you two could come back up for the weekend,” Duncan says. “Make a trip of it.” He folds his hands and regards her with amusement. “Only to see if anything has changed, of course.”

The corners of Scully’s mouth curl up involuntarily.

***

From the car window Scully watches as Mulder hurries down the neatly shoveled sidewalk from the entrance to the archives building. He throws open the car door and anxiously jumps into the driver’s seat next to her.

“I’m freezing,” Mulder whines, slamming the door shut behind him and rubbing his hands together.

“Why aren’t you wearing gloves? A scarf?” Scully asks unsympathetically. “Why aren’t you dressed for the winter?”

“It was just a fast errand,” he says, making a mock sad face. “Running in and out. I didn’t want to bother with all that.”

“Well, did Mrs. Davenport appreciate the soup?” Scully prompts him. “What did she say?”

“You know, I actually think she did,” he says, a look of satisfaction spreading over his face as he glances back at the archive building. “I told her that Banoy made the soup just for her, and that he wanted me to invite her to visit the Inn and talk to him and Duncan about the ghost. She seemed flattered. And excited to share what she knew.”

“That sounds even better than you hoped for,” she says. “Look at you, bringing the local populace together.”

“She did ask if I’d be coming to the Inn for the history lesson, too,” Mulder admits. “She seemed a little disappointed when I said I wouldn’t be.”

“Yeah, I bet she was,” Scully comments dryly.

“I might have led her to believe Duncan and Banoy wanted her advice in designing the new porch,” Mulder adds, shrugging.

“That is definitely not what they said,” Scully says. “You made that up.”

“The important thing is to get them talking,” Mulder says dismissively. “They’ll be able to better understand how to work safely with their house ghost if Mrs. Davenport and the old family share what they know.” He fishes his keys out. “All the rest is details.”

“Okay then—mission accomplished,” Scully says. She has the impulse to ruffle his hair in congratulatory affection, but it’s so far out of their typical vocabulary of gestures towards one another. She squeezes her own hands in her lap. “It sounds like we’re ready to get on the road, right?”

“Right.” Mulder throws her an enigmatic look as he turns the engine on. “Back in plenty of time for Christmas, just like I said.”

She decides to attempt a bolder comment. “You’re in a good mood this morning, Mulder.”

He flashes her a mischievous look and then peers in the rear view mirror to back the car onto the street.

“I sure am,” he says, grinning.

“Any reason?”

“Hot date for Christmas, remember?”

She faces straight forward, but allows her subdued expression to burst into a wide smile, too. “Of course. I forgot.”

He begins to steer through the little town, which seems even quieter this morning than the evening they drove in. Behind the steepled church, Scully notices a sleepy graveyard blanketed in drifts of snow. She wonders if that is where Sophonia Younge was buried.

“You know, Scully, I was thinking,” Mulder says conversationally. “If you’re now accepting ghosts as part of your worldview, I can put a few more cases on the docket for the new year.”

She eyes him warily, but he continues.

“Just off the top of my head, I can think of a famous case of a haunted hotel in Savannah, Georgia. A similar situation to this one, except the apparition of Anna Powers doesn’t murder people. Just kind of rearranges hotel guests’ clothes and that kind of thing.”

“Rearranges clothes.”

“Yes, most ghosts are actually benevolent entities,” Mulder says cheerfully. “Miss Younge being a notable exception.” He turns the steering wheel as they head off on the country highway. “There’s also the ghost of Peg Entwhistle in California, a 1930s actress who ended her life at the Hollywood sign and haunts it to this very day. She just makes appearances—typical Hollywood. You like L.A., right?”

“You understand our job is to investigate when crimes have been committed,” Scully says. “We’re not actually freelance ghost hunters.”

“If you’re up for some international travel, there’s a ghost I remember from my Oxford days. A Puritan girl named Prudence who was abandoned by her lover, sighted repeatedly on Magpie Lane,” Mulder says. “Don’t you want to try to meet her?”

“A ghost you remember from your Oxford days,” Scully repeats flatly. “Magpie … Lane.”

“It’s a real place,” insists Mulder, smirking. “I didn’t make it up.”

“How many ghosts are wronged women, Mulder?”

“I don’t have the exact numbers, but we can certainly investigate that question, Scully,” he says. “It does seem like a lot. I mean—you can guess why, though.”

“Why?”

“Women are more likely to die without justice,” he says. “So their souls linger behind to try to right the wrongs.”

She leans back in her seat and watches the austere winter trees fly by the window, contemplating what he’s said.

“Not always,” she replies pensively. “Their souls don’t always linger.”

He doesn’t say anything to that right away, and she can practically hear the gears of his mind whirring in the seat next to her. It feels strange, discussing her innermost thoughts so openly with Mulder, but she doesn’t hate it either.

“No,” he says finally. “I guess not always, Scully. Sometimes they leave someone living behind …someone else who has to try to right the wrongs.”

“Yes.” The word feels weighted.

“Do you… wish it were otherwise? That your sister were still here as an apparition?”

“Of course I wish I could see Missy again,” Scully replies to the window. “But to see her haunting my apartment, seeking justice eternally? To see her continuing to exist as a kind of … empty spot, a missing space where my sister used to be?”

“No,” guesses Mulder. “You don’t want that.”

“No,” Scully agrees. “The dead should be free to go on.”

“The living, too,” Mulder says. “Right?”

She looks over at him. His eyes are on the road, but he glances to make brief eye contact with her.

“Yes,” she agrees soberly. “The living, too.”

The car turns into a stretch of thicker overhead trees, and the light in the car becomes sudden blue-gray and dim, patchy with the shadows of limbs reaching over their heads.

Kind of ghostly, she thinks.

She thinks about what sort of things she wishes she were free to do as a living, breathing person. Things she hasn’t done enough. Things her sister would have urged her to do more.

There’s at least one obvious answer.

“Mulder,” she says, as the car winds deeper into the dark and frozen forest, “what day is your hot Christmas date?”

He gives her a look. “You know I don’t really have one, right?”

She leans down to adjust the heat in the car. “You could, though,” she says casually.

“Oh,” he says. “Oh.” His eyes shoot back over to her. “In that case … it’s tonight.” He looks over at her again, checking her expression. “Or tomorrow. Or, you know, the next day.”

“In other words, your schedule is flexible.”

“For that particular social obligation?” He lowers his voice. “Yes.”

“Then soon,” she says softly. “Very soon.”

The road follows alongside a small river, clear and cold, crashing over rocks. She watches it as she reaches for Mulder’s right hand, wrapping her fingers tightly around his. He makes a humming sound.

The river moves too fast to freeze; it never stops its chaotic rush and flow. It pushes on through the darkest corners of the forest.

[maybe-im-dark]

INT. X-MANSION MEDICAL WING - DAY

Logan walks into the pristine, high-tech medical wing of the X-Mansion, his face twisted into a mix of discomfort and annoyance. His signature leather jacket is unzipped, and for once, the once rock-hard abs are nowhere in sight—his belly has grown soft, bulging over the waistband of his jeans. He’s felt bloated for weeks now, and the morning sickness is becoming unbearable.

Hank McCoy (Beast) looks up from his clipboard as Logan enters, raising an eyebrow.

HANK: (smiling, curious)

"Logan, this is a surprise. You look... different."

LOGAN: (grumbling)

"Yeah, yeah. Don’t start. I’m not here for a chat. Something’s wrong. I’m sick in the mornings, can’t keep food down, and I’ve… (gesturing to his belly) ... put on weight."

Hank's expression shifts to concern, motioning Logan to sit on the examination couch.

HANK: (slightly teasing but professional)

"Take off your jacket and shirt, and let’s see what’s going on."

Logan does as he’s told, lying down, shirt lifted to expose his swollen abdomen. Hank applies gel to Logan's belly and picks up the ultrasound device, pressing it against Logan’s skin.

The screen flickers to life, and Hank’s eyes narrow in concentration, moving the wand carefully across Logan’s stomach.

HANK: (after a long moment)

"Hmm… there’s definitely something here. Alive, even."

LOGAN: (snapping, a bit panicked)

"A parasite?! Goddammit. Figures. Just cut it out of me, Hank. I’ll heal up fast."

Hank holds up a hand, continuing to study the screen, his face serious but calm. He moves the ultrasound wand slowly, taking his time.

HANK: (softly, almost in awe)

"No, Logan. It’s not a parasite."

He glances up at Logan, eyes meeting his with an unreadable expression.

HANK:

"Congratulations, Logan. You’re… pregnant."

Logan stares at him, his jaw going slack. For a moment, he doesn’t seem to comprehend the words, but then—

LOGAN: (stunned, almost laughing in disbelief)

"You’re joking, right? I mean, I don’t have the parts for that!"

HANK: (shaking his head, still serious)

"It appears that your mutation allows your body to adapt and create what’s necessary to carry a child when the situation demands it. You’re capable of impregnating others, and it seems, under the right circumstances, of being impregnated yourself."

Logan blinks, utterly taken aback by this revelation.

HANK: (pause, delicate but firm)

"I have to ask, Logan… Did you have intercourse with a man recently? Without protection?"

Logan exhales deeply, running a hand through his hair, and nods, a slight smirk tugging at his lips despite the situation.

LOGAN: (soft chuckle, resigned)

"Yeah. I slept with Wade. I mean, we’re both immune to diseases. Didn’t think there was any risk…"

Hank nods thoughtfully, continuing with the examination.

HANK:

"You’re about two months along, but since your mutation derives from wolverines, I estimate you’ll carry for only around 215 days—about seven months in total. The child is developing quickly. You’ll need to make a decision now."

Logan’s eyes soften, and for once, the tough exterior fades.

LOGAN: (tentative, vulnerable)

"Can I… Can I hear it? The heartbeat?"

Hank offers a small, reassuring smile and adjusts the machine. A soft, rhythmic sound fills the room, quick and steady, and Logan’s breath catches. For a moment, there’s nothing but the sound of that tiny heartbeat, and Logan feels something bloom inside him.

LOGAN: (whispering, a gentle smile forming)

"I’ve always wanted a kid. Never thought… (laughs softly) Never thought I’d be the one carrying it, though."

He looks at Hank, eyes shining with emotion.

LOGAN:

"But I’m keeping it."

Hank places a hand on Logan’s shoulder, offering him a moment of silent support.

HANK:

"Then we’ll make sure you and the baby are taken care of, Logan. You won’t be alone in this."

Logan nods, eyes drifting back to the screen, his hand unconsciously resting on his swollen belly. For the first time in weeks, the nausea, the discomfort, the fear—all of it melts away, leaving only the quiet, overwhelming joy of hearing his child’s heartbeat.

[inkjam-moon]

Colors Chapter Two - Orange

Summary: Your most recent jump has put you into the life of an Idol, but will old feelings get in the way of a new promise?

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Fluff, angst, smut

Word Count: 15.2k

TW: Death, medical/hospital talk, cancer mentions, drinking, cunnilingus, sex

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“Jeongguk!” You cry, bolting upright, gripping the blanket in your lap tightly. You begin sobbing uncontrollably as you realize; it doesn’t matter anymore, wherever you are now, whenever you are, Jeongguk is not here with you.

You sit up and look around, you’re in a hotel room. You see an iphone on the table and a laptop on the desk. Thank god, you must be somewhere close to where you started. You fling the orange blanket off of you and sprint to the desk, wiping your cheeks as you turn on the computer, thankful that it doesn’t have a password. You immediately bring up the search engine and type in the only name you care about at the moment: Jeon Jeongguk, Hawaii. You thank god it isn’t a popular name, because the first result that comes up is the one you’re looking for. 

“Local Japanese veteran suspected in the disappearance of his fiancee.”

Disappearance? Oh no… You keep reading.

“After the clearing of prime suspect Paul Smith, police turn their attention to Jungkook Jeon, fiancee of the missing girl.”

You scroll to the next article.

“Fiancee cleared, girl still missing.”

This doesn’t help, you need to find him now. You go to the whitepages website and type in his information: Jeongguk Jeon, Honolulu, Hawaii. Ding! One result. Kahala Nui Nursing Home. Nursing Home? You look at the date in the bottom of your computer screen. 2012. You suppose Jeongguk would be in his nineties now, you’re just thankful he’s still alive. 

You immediately look for a wallet anywhere in the vicinity, finding one inside of a purse; inside waiting is a sleek black credit card with your name on it. Literally. You immediately search for a travel website before realizing you should probably figure out where you are first. You open the map on your phone and click the current location to see you seem to be in Daegu. Perfect. You find the first flight out to Honolulu and purchase the ticket, hoping you have enough money on the card to do so. Transaction Complete. You download your boarding pass just as you hear a beep and then the door to your room opens. 

“Y/N, are you ready?”

“Actually I’m going to need a ride to the airport.” You state, turning to see a young man standing there. 

“What are you talking about?”

“Uh, family emergency. I have to leave for a week.”

“A week?” The man squeaks. “You have three shows this week and the make a wish thing today.”

“Reschedule them.” You insist, standing up and gathering your things, quickly grabbing a change of clothes and starting to undress until you realize the man is still staring at you in disbelief. “Uh, do you mind?”

“You’re kidding right?” You shake your head and he turns to face the wall. “When did you get shy?”

“Since I just got back from the 40’s.” You joke.

“What?”

“Nevermind.” You say as you change your clothes. 

“I’m not taking you to the airport. You can’t just dip out like this.”

“Just reschedule things.”

“Reschedule things. Reschedule a whole week? Oh yeah, that’s fine. I’ll just push back your entire tour. Reschedule every interview. That’s fine. I’m just your manager. I’m just trying to do what’s best for you. ‘Reschedule it Jin’. It’s fine.” He shrugs, throwing his hands up in the air. “Now that you’ve tied the rope around my neck, are you going to kick the chair out from under me too?”

“I don’t have time for this.” You roll your eyes, grabbing your suitcase and heading for the door. “Can you check me out of the hotel too since I assume that’s your job?”

“You assume?” He nearly chokes. “I’ve only been your manager for six years, but apparently that doesn’t mean anything to you.”

“Goodbye Jin.”

“Y/N,” He grabs your arm. “You have to do the make a wish thing before you go.”

“Just push it back a-”

“He might not have a week.”

You sigh. “Three days. Just give me three days and I promise I’ll be back.”

“Where are you going?”

“Hawaii.”

He scoffs. “I’m supposed to believe you’re going to Hawaii for a family emergency?”

“I’ll be at a nursing home the whole time. It’s my… my grandfather.”

“I didn’t know your grandfather was still alive. After your parents died I thought…”

“Just barely. And I’m the only one left. I have to go see him. Please Jin.”

Jin sighs, letting go of your arm. “You have three days. And the moment you come back you’re right back on schedule. You won’t have a day off in between your next three shows.”

“Deal.” You agree, opening the door.

“Alright, put your mask on. Let’s get you to the airport.”

You dig through your purse, pulling out a face mask as you walk toward the elevator while Jin calls about a hundred people. You find out his full name is Kim Seokjin as he leads you out of the elevator and out to a black SUV. 

“To the arena?” The driver asks. 

“There’s been a change of plans Michi. Take us to the airport please.”

“Yes sir.” Michi starts the car and pulls off, obediently driving you to the airport, no questions asked. When you arrive at the airport, Jin grabs your arm before you can get out of the car. 

“Remember. Three days. And be careful. No one knew you were coming so you shouldn’t get mobbed, but you don’t have security so stay under the radar.”

“I’ll be careful.” You nod before hopping out of the car, grabbing your bags and heading into the airport. 

You breeze through the airport, no one except the security agents that read your name recognize you, and before you know it, you’re sitting on the airplane in first class. Before the airplane takes off, you take the opportunity to google yourself to see why you have a manager.

“Y/N is a Korean singer/songwriter.” Apparently you debuted when you were sixteen under IM entertainment and have been active ever since. During the flight you listen to your own music, thankful that it all sounds familiar to you and you know all the words. Damn. Never in your wildest dreams would you ever think this was a possibility for you to live, but here you are. 

You hardly sleep through the twelve hour flight, your mind is too anxious. Will he even remember you? Will he want to see you? When you land you grab your bag and hail a cab to the nursing home, your stomach twisting in knots the entire time. When you arrive, you pay the driver and then head inside, taking off your face mask and walking up to the desk where a woman in scrubs is sitting. Please let you know english. 

“Can I help you?”

“I’m here to see my grandfather.” Thank god.

“What’s his name?”

“Jeongguk Jeon.”

She types on her computer and then looks up at you in confusion. “Mr. Jeon doesn’t have any family listed in his file. You said you’re his granddaughter?”

“After my parents died, they were probably taken off his file. I’m all he has left.”

She eyes you suspiciously for a moment before shrugging. “Very well. Name please?” 

“Y/N J-Jeon.”

She types in your name, prints out a visitor name tag for you and then stands up, motioning for you to walk with her. You follow her down several long hallways until you reach a door with Jeongguk’s name on it. She knocks as she opens the door. “Mr. Jeon, you have a visitor.” There he is. Sitting in a wheelchair facing toward the window opposite you.

“I don’t want to see the doctor.”

“It’s not the doctor Mr. Jeon. It’s your granddaughter.”

“I don’t have one.” He rasps, waving the nurse away.

She shrugs. “He has some memory problems, but maybe you can help jog them? I’ll be at my desk if you need anything.” The nurse states before disappearing, shutting the door behind you, leaving you alone with Jeongguk for the first time in, well, about seventy-one years. 

You take a deep breath, steadying your nerves before crossing the room; the only sound being that of your footsteps, accompanied by your rapidly beating heart. You come to stand in front of him, but he doesn’t spare you a glance and it gives you a chance to study him as he looks out the window.

His hair has greyed to the point where it’s almost white, his face is filled with lines and creases that come with age, but his bunny teeth are still the same, his nose is still too big for his face, and his eyes are the same warm dark brown that you know, only now, they seem laced with an unknown sadness. 

You kneel down in front of him, the movement causing him to look at you for the first time, and when he does it’s as if time itself stops. He stares at you, confusion written on his face, like he’s trying to place you and why you look so familiar, and then you see it. You can see the exact moment the memories come flooding back; his mouth drops open with the slightest gasp of recognition as his eyes grow wide, taking in the sight of you, the one he lost so long ago, appearing in front of him as if nothing has changed. 

“Y-Y/N?” He whispers, one of his hands coming up to cup your face as if to make sure you’re actually here and not just a figment of his imagination.

“Hi Kook.” You offer a small smile, finally meeting his gaze.

You watch his eyes immediately brim with tears right before he grabs you and pulls you into his chest, holding you tightly as he sobs softly. You stay like this for a few minutes, enveloped in Jeongguk’s natural scent that you remember so vividly, taking comfort in the feeling of his arms wrapped around you until he pulls back, wiping the tears from your own eyes that you hadn’t even realized were falling. 

“I… What… How?” Is all he can manage, staring at you in disbelief. “How?”

“If I told you, you’d think I was crazy.”

“I already do.” He teases with a smile. 

You pull a chair up next to Jeongguk and take a seat before explaining everything to him; your childhood, the first jump, the haze and everything that happened after that up until now.

“So I hopped on the first plane here, hoping that you were the you I was looking for.”

“You jump through time?” He clarifies. You nod. “And you couldn’t have told me that sixty years ago?”

“You wouldn’t have believed me.”

“I would’ve believed anything. We thought Paul killed you. We thought his goons took you from the bar and killed you. I… I looked everywhere for you. I never stopped. I looked until I couldn’t walk anymore.”

“Jeongguk I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you wasted your life looking for me. I-”

“Shhh.” He shakes his head at you. “Just the thought that one day I might find you, that you might come back to me, it made it all worth it.” He smiles. “And here you are. You haven’t changed at all.”

“Neither have you.”

Jeongguk scoffs. “Have you seen my hair?”

“I have,” You chuckle, brushing his hair back. “But your eyes let me know that you’re the same Jeongguk I fell in love with.”

The two of you sit and chat for a long time. Hours. Jeongguk has you dig in his closet for an old photo album so he can show you everything he did while you were gone. He shows you picture after picture; the day his parents arrived in Hawaii, a week after you disappeared; him and Kono saying goodbye to Bits and Clara; one christmas when the girls came back to hawaii to surprise Kono and they all had dinner; his mugshot from when he was a suspect in your disappearance; a puppy he got; his enlistment photos from joining the US Army; photos from when he was stationed in Vietnam, the friends he made there, and the ones he lost. Overall, Jeongguk lived a good life, but a lonely one.

“Why didn’t you ever get married?” You ask.

“Can you grab my book off the nightstand there? And inside the drawer, there’s a wooden box, that too.” He points to the table beside his bed.

“Are you avoiding my question?” You tease as you stand and retrieve the book.

“No, I’m going to explain it. Give me the book.”

You hand the book and the box to him and sit back down in your chair, watching as he cracks the book open and pulls out his bookmark, handing it to you to look at as he digs through the box. You look at the bookmark closely and let out a soft gasp; it’s a very old, very worn picture that’s been taped up again and again to hold the pieces together and prolong its life, but it’s not the state of the picture that makes your heart ache, it’s what’s in the picture. It’s you. It’s the picture Clara took when you finally got your engagement ring back; you, standing nose to nose with Jeongguk, smiling as bright as the sun, your hands on his chest and his on your waist, the ring shining in the light. 

“Jeongguk…” You whisper, turning to see him holding up your ring.

“You were the only one that ever deserved to put this ring on your finger.” He states, taking your hand and placing the ring in your palm. 

“You kept it?” You ask, turning the gold band over and marveling at the ruby. 

“Getting rid of it would’ve meant letting you go, and I could never bring myself to do that.” You sniffle as you wrap your arms tightly around Jeongguk, placing a kiss on his cheek before pulling back. “I want you to keep this. However long you’re here, in this life, I want you to have it.”

“J-Jeongguk I-”

“It’s yours.” He reminds you. “It always has been.” You nod, unable to speak as you take off your necklace and slip the ring onto the chain, fastening it back in place as Jeongguk begins to cough, bringing a handkerchief up to cover his mouth and then removing it once he’s finished and turning back to look at you.

You look at the corner of his mouth to see something red smeared on his bottom lip. 

“Is that… blood?” You mumble, pointing to your own lip.

Jeongguk sighs. “Ah, I was hoping you wouldn’t see.”

“Jeongguk, what is it?”

“Lung cancer. Turns out smoking cigarettes isn’t good for you. It’s a good thing you came when you did, noona. I’m due to go soon.”

“Go…?”

He shrugs. “I’m ninety-two; I didn’t expect to live past thirty. I’ve made my peace with it. And now that I know you’re okay, I’m even more ready.”

“Come back to Korea with me.” You blurt.

“What?” He looks at you, confused.

“I-I have money in this life. I can get you doctors, medicine, anything you need. I can keep you safe.”

“Y/N, I wouldn’t even make the trip home.”

“Why not?”

“I saw the doctor yesterday, but I’ve known for a while. I’ve only got a few days left. My body isn’t strong enough to fight it anymore.”

“Kook no…”

“I’m afraid so.” He smiles sadly. There’s a moment of silence as you think of what to say.

“Jeongguk, would you mind if I stayed with you? Until…”

He nods as a tear slips down his cheek. “I’ve never wanted anything more.”

.

It doesn’t take long at all. You spend all of the next two days together, reminiscing, but Jeongguk’s body is deteriorating rapidly and he only grows weaker. On the third morning, when you wake up in the cot the nurse dragged into Jeongguk’s room for you, you look over and notice Jeongguk is unusually still. You quickly leap up and rush to his side to find that at some point during the night, he passed in his sleep; silently, peacefully; his last words the night before being ‘I love you, noona. Sleep well’. 

You weep, devastated at the loss, expecting the haze to come over you at any moment, but in the hours you sit there, nothing changes. You have to accept the fact: you’re stuck here. You gather yourself and when the nurse comes in to check on you again, you tell her you have to go.

Technically Jeongguk’s belongings have been left to the facility, but she lets you take whatever you want. You grab the photo album, the wooden box, and Jeongguk’s book, cradling them in your arms and walking back out to the front desk to work out a few details. You have Jeongguk’s body sent back to Busan so that you can bury him there, along with any of his things the facility doesn’t want, and then you pack your things and head back to the airport; you promised Jin you’d only be gone for three days. 

.

When you arrive back in Daegu, Michi picks you up from the airport. He doesn’t say anything, simply giving you a sympathetic glance as he starts the car and immediately drives you to some sort of a stadium where things already seem to be busy, and it’s only eight in the morning.

When you arrive, Jin immediately escorts you inside. You arrive backstage where you’re fitted with a microphone, your in-ear monitors, and then pushed out on stage where things are still being set up. “Okay, we’re just going to run through the opening to get the sound adjusted and then we’ll take it from the top.” You look down at the soundbooth to see someone giving you a thumbs up.

“Got it.” You nod, walking out to the center of the stage and looking around. A strange and yet familiar melody starts playing as you take in the size of the stadium. There’s no way you sold tickets for all these seats. There’s nothing you wanted more when you were little than to have a life like this, but you never imagined it’d happen, not even in this bizarre way.

You run through the rehearsal with no problems and are escorted back to the green room afterwards to eat lunch while Jin barrages you with a thousand questions, but you ignore him mostly, stating that you simply don’t want to talk about it until after the concert is over. He sighs and nods in understanding before leaving the room. You relax for a few hours before you’re escorted to hair and makeup.

It takes about an hour and a half for them to get you fixed up, and then on your way to get changed, Jin stops you and pulls you back toward the green room.

“Jin, I have to get changed.”

“No, remember you have the make a wish thing first.”

“Oh, right. Okay.”

“His name is Taewon. He’s eight years old and he was diagnosed with leukemia when he was five.”

“Oh my god that’s awful.”

“I know. He was in remission for a year before the cancer came back and they say he’s… not doing well. His older brother takes him to some sort of children’s hospital in the United States that allows him treatment without having to pay. Their parents were killed in a car accident two years ago, so it’s just the two of them and Taewon’s greatest wish was to attend one of your concerts. I figured a small meet and greet wouldn’t be too taxing for you, but please be nice.”

“Of course I’ll be nice.” You scoff. How could he think you wouldn’t be? Jin knocks on the open door of the green room and pokes his head in.

“Taewon! I’ve got a surprise for you.” Jin enters the room and waves you in. You walk in after him to see a small, frail looking boy with a face mask on and a beanie covering what you assume to be a hairless head. Though you can’t see his mouth, the way his eyes light up tell you that he’s beaming.

“Oh my goodness…” He whispers.

“Hi Taewon! It’s nice to meet you!” You bow politely before walking over to him and shaking his hand.

“Oh my gosh it’s really you!” He squeaks. “You’re really Y/N!”

“It’s really me, how are you doing?" You crouch down in front of him.

"I'm great now!" He tugs on the sleeve of the tall blonde man next to him. "Hyung look!"

"I see her bud." The blonde man nods and smiles a rather dazzling half smile. "Why don't you tell her what you wanted to say?" Taewon looks down at the ground and shuffles his feet, seeming embarrassed. "Go on." He urges.

"I-I wanted to say that you're my most favorite-est singer in the whole world."

"Aw, thank you so much Taewon!" You smile brightly at him. "What's your favorite song?"

He perks up at this. "My favorite is 'Keep Going'! It's my theme song during treatment! My mommy used to sing it to me before she died." Your heart breaks a little when you remember that this boy is incredibly, and most likely, terminally ill, and to make life worse, his parents were also taken from him.

"Wonnie, she doesn't need to know that." The older boy scolds.

"No, it's okay." You shake your head before looking back at Taewon. "I just lost someone very close to me as well." You tell him, reaching up to grab the ring that hangs from your necklace.

"You did? Who was it?"

"Someone I loved very much."

"I'm sorry for your loss." Taewon whispers, patting your shoulder.

"Thank you." You smile at him again. "I really appreciate that."

"Do you need a hug?" He asks.

You nod. "That would be great." You get down on your knees and allow Taewon to wrap his arms around you for a quick hug. "Are you ready for the show?" You ask as he pulls away, allowing you to stand back up.

"Yes!" He shouts, clapping his hands together.

"We should probably go find our seats. I'm sure you have to finish getting ready." The older boy states.

You turn to Seokjin and whisper to him. "Did they get front row seats, or...?"

Seokjin looks panicked at your words. "You didn't specify so we gave them the best that was still available."

"Hm..." You think for a moment. "Can we let them watch backstage or something?"

Seokjin nods. "Sure, that shouldn't be a problem."

"Great." You turn back to the two boys. "Taewon, I've got a surprise for you. How would you like to watch the show from backstage?"

His eyes light up. "Backstage? Really?!"

"Of course! Anything for my biggest fan."

"Oh, thank you!" He cheers, running over to wrap his arms around your legs. "See hyung?" He turns back to his brother. “I told you cancer has perks!"

The elder boy throws his hands up. "You got me there."

"Right. Y/N, you have to get ready." Seokjin reminds you before turning to one of the guards. "Choi, please take Taewon and..." He pauses as he looks toward the elder boy.

"Oh, um Taehyung." He stutters. “Kim Taehyung.”

"Take Taewon and Taehyung to their new seats please." Choi nods and begins to usher the boys out of the room. You follow them, waving goodbye in the hallway.

"I'll see you guys soon!" You state before heading to your changing room. "Seokjin?" You call as you walk.

"Yeah?"

"I want you to get that little boy anything his heart desires. Food, toys, merch, anything, got it?"

"Got it." He nods as you reach the changing room door and turn to him.

"And I want to change the encore to 'Keep Going'."

"Alright. I'll let them know." Seokjin reaches for his headset. "Now go get changed, you're on in ten!"

You fly through the concert no problem before finally reaching the encore. you stand just off stage as you hear everyone chanting "one more song!". An addicting rush floods through your body as you check your mic before walking back out on stage as the crowd starts to cheer.

"I've got one more song for you tonight Daegu, how does that sound?" You smile as everyone cheers in excitement. "Good, I'm glad. I'd like to dedicate this song to a very special friend of mine." You look over into the wing where Taewon is watching you. "He told me today that this was his favorite song, so if it's okay with you, I'd like to sing it for him." Your fans cheer and you wave over at Taewon, beckoning him out onto the stage with you. He looks up at his brother for permission, and when Taehyung nods, the younger boy scrambles to his feet and sprints out onto the stage with you. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet my friend, Kim Taewon." You hold your hand held mic out to him and whisper, "Say hello."

"Hello!" He smiles. "My name is Kim Taewon. I'm seven years old and I have leukemia!" He states, causing everyone in the crowd to "Aw" in sympathy as you nod to the sound guys to start the song. As the first few notes play, Taewon's face lights up. "This song's my favorite!" He exclaims into the mic.

You pat him on the shoulder. "This one's for you."

You sing to Taewon, letting him sing along whenever he wants to, bringing tears to the eyes of many of your fans. When the song ends, you say one final goodbye, give a grateful bow and lead Taewon off stage. You have the two boys wait in the green room while you change and wipe the mountain of makeup off of your face. As you change, you ask Jin to call Michi to take them home in the nicest car.

When you're clean, you walk back out to the green room in some shorts and an old shirt, knocking as you enter. "It's me."

"Y/N!" Taewon runs over and wraps his arms around your legs. "That was the coolest thing ever! You do that every night?"

You giggle at his enthusiasm. "Not every night, but sometimes it feels like it."

"I wanna be a singer when I grow up! Do you think they liked me? Do you think I could?"

"Definitely! You can do anything you want Taewon." You smile bittersweetly, knowing it's likely he won't live long enough to even graduate high school.

"I'm gonna start working really hard on my singing!"

Just then, Jin walks into the room. "The cars are here." He states, and you nod at him.

"I guess we should head out then." Taehyung says.

"Actually, one of the cars is for the two of you."

Taehyung's eyes go wide. "Really?"

"Yeah," You nod. "One last bit of fun. Taewon!" You turn to the younger boy. "Follow my friend Jin here, for your last surprise!"

"Okay!" Taewon takes off out of the room after Jin while you and Taehyung follow a bit farther back.

“Hey.” Taehyung whispers as you walk.

“Hm?” You look over at him.

“I… I just wanted to say thank you. You know… For being so nice to him.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” You shake your head.

“No.” He grabs your arm and stops you. “I really do.” He bows deeply to you in gratitude. “Thank you so much. I know it must’ve been difficult to see him during your busy schedule; and I really appreciate everything that you’ve done for him tonight.” Taehyung stands back up and looks ahead to where his brother is tugging on Seokjin’s arm. 

"Really, it's no problem. Taewon's a great kid, and he's lucky to have you as his brother."

"Nah." Taehyung shakes his head as you start walking again. "I'm lucky to have him."

You walk in silence until you reach the back bay of the stadium where Taewon is currently scrambling to climb into the SUV you provided. Taehyung helps his brother in the rest of the way before turning back to you.

"Thanks again, for everything."

You nod, smiling at him. "Get home safe, and if you ever need anything, just let me know."

"Ah, don't worry about it."

"I'm serious. Here, give me your phone." You hold out your hand. Taehyung hesitates, but eventually unlocks his phone and lays it in your hand. You quickly type your number in, send yourself a text, and then hand him back the phone. "There. That's my personal cell phone. Please call, and I mean for anything." He nods, climbing into the car and rolling down the window. "Taewon!" You call, getting the younger boy's attention. "Your brother has my number. If you need anything, even if you just want me to visit while I'm in town, just let me know, okay?"

His eyes light up. "Okay!"

Taehyung gives you a small smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." You return the smile and wave as they drive away.

.

You text Taehyung everytime you're in Daegu for the next three months. You even invited him to a music video shoot nearby, but he never responds. Did he change his number? Does he not want your help? You can't figure out why it upsets you so much, you only met him once; but something about Taehyung draws you to him.

A month and half later, on a rainy afternoon in May as you're relaxing at your house discussing possible TV appearances with Jin, your phone starts to buzz beside you and you pick it up to finally see his name flash on the screen. Kim Taehyung. Suddenly you're scrambling to answer.

"Hello?"

"Um, hi Y/N. I don't know if you remember me or not-"

"Of course I remember you Taehyung." You can't help but smile.

"O-oh. Okay. Um... Sorry for not messaging you back, we've been a little busy."

"It's alright, don't worry about it. How are you?"

You hear him sigh on the other end of the line. "To be honest, I'm out of options..."

"What do you mean?" You inquire, concerned by the tone of his voice.

Another sigh. "How quickly can you get to Daegu?"

"I'm in Busan so maybe an hour and a half if I drive?

"Okay." It's quiet for a moment.

"Taehyung-" You're interrupted when your phone buzzes against your ear.

"Can you meet me at the address I just texted you?"

"Sure, but Taehyung, what's going on?"

"I... I'd rather tell you in person." His voice cracks just a bit. "Just please meet me as soon as you can."

"Okay, I'm on my way right now."

"Thank you..." Click. Your phone beeps, signaling the end of the call.

"What was that about?" Jin asks, his interest clearly piqued.

You ignore him as you plug the address into the GPS on your phone. "Daegu Gyeongsang Hospital?" You think for a moment before realization hits you and you gasp. "Taewon."

"The cancer kid?"

"How fast can we get to Daegu?"

"Like you said. An hour and a half maybe?"

"Call Michi, we're leaving now."

"Y/N, what's going on?" Jin gets up and follows you to your room as you begin throwing clothes into a bag.

"I think Taewon's in the hospital."

Seokjin sighs before grabbing his phone and dialing a number. "Michi? Get ready. We're going to Daegu."

An hour and fifteen minutes later, you walk through the front door of the hospital and walk up to the counter with a mask and a hat on, Jin trailing close behind.

"Kim Taewon?" You ask as you walk up to the front desk.

"Your name?" The nurse questions as Jin walks up.

"You cannot tell anyone that she is here." Jin tells the nurse. "We don't need the press blowing this out of proportion."

The nurse looks confused until you pull down your mask and her eyes go wide. "O-oh my god..."

"Sorry, but I'm in a bit of a hurry. Can you freak out after you tell me where Kim Taewon's room is?"

"Right, s-sorry." She looks up his name on her computer. "He's in the pediatric ward, room 532. C-can I have your autograph?" You smile at her and take the piece of paper and pen she hands you, signing it for her before looking back at Jin.

"You go ahead, I'll get things sorted here and then be up." Jin states. You nod and then head off in the direction the nurse points you in, taking the elevators to the fifth floor and searching for room 532.

It takes you a few minutes, but you soon recognize a mess of blonde hair standing at one of the nurse's stations, staring at his phone. "Taehyung!"

His head snaps up to locate your voice. When his eyes land on you, he smiles. "Y/N."

"What's going on?" You ask, slightly out of breath.

His smile disappears. "Come with me." He leads you across the hall and around the corner to room 532 and opens the door to reveal Taewon fast asleep on the bed. Taewon has all sorts of wires and tubes hooked up to him; his breathing is shallow and harsh; and he looks so pale and frail; nothing like he was just a few months ago.

"What happened?" You ask quietly, not wanting to wake the sleeping boy.

"He relapsed..." Taehyung whispers, looking as though he's holding back tears. "And he's just getting worse by the day, I... I don't know what to do." Taehyung collapses to his knees and you crouch beside him to hold him up, helping him back to his feet and escorting him out of the room over to the small seating area, shutting the door to Taewon's room behind you.

You allow Taehyung to cry on your shoulder, doing your best to comfort him as you wait for him to speak again. He gathers himself faster than you thought he would and sniffles as he explains.

"It was about two weeks after we met you. He started getting headaches and was getting sick at night so we came in for a checkup and..." He sighs. "It's back. And it's worse this time around. He can barely eat or walk, all he does is sleep. They've got him on this medicine and even though he says it's helping him, I don't think it actually is. And I don't have the money to fly back to the children's hospital in the United states. I can't even afford to drive to Seoul." He shakes his head. "Not that it matters, he can't travel. You saw him."

"What are they doing for him here?"

"More chemotherapy." Taehyung states. "But I don't know if he can do it any more. He's just so tired. I'm afraid... I don't think his body can continue to fight. And I don't want to force him, but I don't want to lose him." His tears start rolling down his cheeks again, but he does his best to hold it together. "Honestly I don't even know why I called you. It's just hard doing this alone..."

"Taehyung I'm so sorry... Is there anything I can do?"

"I can't ask you to do anything. I'm sure you have a busy schedule. I guess I just wanted you to know. He looks up to you so it would mean a lot if you talked to him."

"Of course. Anything."

Just then you hear a voice from inside the room. "Hyung!"

Taehyung leaps to his feet and hurries over to open the door and pokes his head inside wearing a forced smile. "Finally awake?" You don't hear the response, but Taehyung motions for you to join him. "Bored? Well, it's a good thing I brought back a surprise!"

When you walk up behind Taehyung, you hear an excited but exhausted voice. "What is it? Show me!"

Taehyung looks back at you and you nod, watching as he opens the door to reveal you to his little brother. You watch Taewon's eyes grow wide in amazement. "Y/N! You're here! What are you doing here?!" He squeaks.

"I heard my biggest fan wasn't feeling well. I had to come check on you!" You explain.

"I'm okay!" He smiles. "It's just a relapse, I've been through it before."

Your heart breaks at the way he says it so nonchalantly. "Well I'm glad to see that! You had me worried for a moment."

You go in and sit on the end of Taewon's bed, casually chatting with him for hours while Taehyung sits in a chair and watches silently. You don't realize how late it's gotten until the nurse comes into the room to give Taewon his nightly medicine and not so subtly states that he should be resting.

You agree, and help tuck Taewon in before saying goodnight and following Taehyung out to see Jin waiting on the bench outside of the room. You forgot he was here.

"All finished for the night?" He asks as you shut the door behind you. You nod. "Good." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a card. "Here's your room key, you're booked across the street."

"You don't have to stay." Taehyung shakes his head. "I couldn't ask you-"

"I want to." You assure him. "My tour’s over and I have a couple weeks off in my schedule. I'm here for as long as you need me." You give his arm a squeeze.

Taehyung's eyes well up with tears again. "Thank you. So much, I... I don't know how to repay you."

"Don't worry about it. Anything you need, just ask."

He nods, sniffling a bit as you say goodnight before heading back to your hotel with Seokjin.

.

For the next two weeks, you spend every day with Taewon and Taehyung; talking, laughing, sneaking the younger boy snacks, keeping him company when Taehyung has to run errands for a few hours every day; you enjoy befriending them both, they're both incredibly sweet and funny, and you like spending time with them, Taewon reminds you so much of the little brother you left behind with your parents.

Unfortunately, Taewon's condition only worsens the longer you stay, and it seems as though Taehyung's energy is being sapped along with his younger brother's. By the end of the second week, Taewon sleeps more and more, eating and laughing less, it usually ends up just being you and Taehyung watching TV or playing cards together, letting the younger boy rest as much as possible.

At the end of the second week, after Taehyung loses the last round of poker that he can possibly stand losing, you pop one last cookie in your mouth before you start gathering your things. You look up as Taehyung runs his fingers through his hair with a sigh.

"Tired of losing?" You tease.

He chuckles, shaking his head. "Just... a lot on my mind."

"Wanna have a drink?" You blurt.

"A drink?" He repeats.

You nod. "Why not?"

Taehyung hesitates as he looks over at the bed where his brother is sleeping. "I should... I should stay with him."

"Come on, the nurse is here, she'll give you a pager. Taewon's asleep and will be for hours. Let's go have a drink."

Taehyung looks over at his sleeping brother once more before he nods. "You're right, I could use one."

The nurse gives Taehyung an emergency pager, and after he tells the nurse a million times to page him when Taewon wakes up, you manage to drag Taehyung out of the hospital and up to your room across the street. You open the door and lead him inside, raiding the mini fridge. "What's your drink of choice?"

"Um. Soju? Or vodka."

You take all the bottles of soju out and carry them over to the bed, taking a seat on it and then gesturing for Taehyung to do the same. He carefully takes a seat on the bed with you, watching as you crack open a bottle and take a long swig.

"Thirsty?" He smirks.

"Just a bit." You nod before handing him the bottle. "Your turn."

He takes the bottle with a smile. "I've never had a drink with a celebrity before."

"Just think of it as drinking with a friend." You state. He smiles wider, raising the bottle to you before chugging nearly half of it. "Ah, apparently someone else is thirsty."

.

Two hours and four bottles later, the two of you are absolutely wrecked. You're rolling on the bed cackling as you watch TV and tell stories.

"I'm telling you! He walked right in there, and screamed his new favorite word. Our parents were mortified. You should have seen the look on my dad's face."

"Just screamed it?" You snort.

"He said 'Fucking bastard!' I thought she was going to fall over."

"I'm glad he's always been just as spirited as he is now."

"Oh yeah." Taehyung smiles bittersweetly, suddenly quieter. "Always has been."

You roll over to face him, seeing the sadness in his eyes. "He's a great kid."

Taehyung nods. "I just wish I could see him grow up."

"Hey, there's a chance, isn't there? He could get better again."

"Even if he does, I won't be around to see it."

"What do you mean?" You sit up on your elbows.

"Oh, um... It's nothing."

"No," You shove his shoulder. "You can't just say something like that and not explain."

He sighs. "I didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't want them to worry... Um, I..." He rubs his forehead. "I also... h-have... I have cancer."

"What...?" You ask in disbelief. "What kind?"

"It's in my heart. Well, the tumor is. Apparently it's rare, and there's no known treatment."

"So... When you disappear every day-?"

"I'm getting experimental tests done." He rolls up his sleeves and shows you the numerous bruises on his arms from different IV's and medicine injections.

"Taehyung, why-"

"Because I didn't want Taewon to worry. The focus should be on him, not me."

"But-"

"There's no point in worrying about me when nothing can be done. He could still pull through."

"Don't you think in two years he'll want to know why he's still alive, but you aren't? You're all he has, Taehyung."

"I guess... I never thought about it. I don't think about the future much..."

"Taehyung, I'm so sorry."

He shrugs. "It's okay. I've come to terms with it, there's just still so much I wish I could do."

"I can only imagine. Never growing up, or graduating college, or going on a date, or-"

"Woah, I've been on dates."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to assume."

He chuckles. "What did you think, I was a virgin or something." You hesitate a second too long and his eyes go wide in disbelief. "You did, didn't you?!"

"I mean..."

"Do I give off that vibe?" He sounds panicked.

"Not necessarily. I just figured since you've been taking care of your brother so long-"

"That I've never done anything?" He snorts in disapproval. "I can prove I'm not a virgin." He points at you and a sudden heat flushes your cheeks. It takes a few seconds for him to realize what he said, but when he does he quickly becomes shy. "I just meant... I know what I'm doing." He finishes his drink and sighs. "I should get going."

"You can sleep here."

"Oh god, no I couldn't."

"Come on, they gave me a room with two beds. You can use one of them."

He sighs. "I guess it's better than that cot I've been sleeping on."

"Exactly."

.

Two weeks later, Taehyung has been staying at the hotel with you every night since the first night you invited him to use the spare bed, getting to know each other better, growing closer as the days pass. Last night, you and Taehyung got drunk again, and you don't remember falling asleep, but you wake up to the sound of very loud beeping.

"Hm? What the..." You realize what it is and sit up in a panic, chucking a pillow at the sleeping figure in the other bed. "Taehyung."

"Huh?" He jumps. "What?"

"It's your pager."

It takes a moment for it to register before he leaps out of bed and scrambles to scoop the pager off the table. "It says it's an emergency." He quickly jumps into action, grabbing his jacket and throwing it on as you do the same before you both run out of the room and across the street to the hospital.

.

"What happened?" Taehyung asks as the elevator doors open on Taewon's floor.

"Taehyung, what’s wrong?" The head nurse smiles when she sees you both walk in, until she sees the look on your faces.

“You paged an emergency.” Taehyung states, waving the pager in front of himself. 

“No I didn’t.” She takes the pager from Taehyung and looks at it before her eyes widen in realization. “Ah, I think I know what happened here. Follow me.” She leads you to Taewon’s room and opens the door. “Taewon, is this why you wanted to sit at my desk earlier?” She gestures to Taehyung as he walks in the room.

“I was booooored.” Taewon whines, causing you and Taehyung to breathe a sigh of relief. Taehyung scolds the younger boy, explaining to him why he should only do that when there’s a real emergency, otherwise he just needs to text one of you.

It's hard to watch as the younger boy lays there smiling at the two of you, clearly not seeing his own wrong-doing, or simply choosing to ignore it. If only he knew that even if he gets better, from here on out, Taehyung will only get worse. He's already starting to show signs of fatigue, and the new medicine they're trying has the older boy losing weight at a rapid pace. You don’t want to acknowledge it, but you can see it in Taehyung’s eyes, he's already starting to give up.

Around dinner time, you head to the cafeteria with the boys, pushing Taewon in his wheelchair down the halls, doing your best to keep them both laughing. The elevator doors open on the floor where the cafeteria sits and you immediately hear, "There she is!".

You're assaulted by the flashing of cameras and instantly move to cover your friends faces as paparazzi call out your name, bombarding you with questions as you slam your hand on the door close button. The doors finally shut and you press the button for the children's ward again.

"W-What just happened?" Taehyung asks.

"I'm so sorry." You whisper. "I should've been more careful."

"Y/N-"

The doors open and you walk up to the nurse's station on a mission. "Taewon needs to be moved to the private wing."

The nurse jumps at your words, your sudden demand startling her. "Why?"

"I'll explain later. Can we move him now?"

"The private wing is um... a bit more expensive." She states, looking over at Taehyung.

"I'll take care of it. Just get him moved now."

Five minutes later you're walking down the hallway of the private wing, on your way to Taewon's new room. His new room is bigger, with a better bed, tv, and even room service. There is also a guest bedroom with a king sized bed attached to the room. 

"Woah!" Taewon gasps as you wheel him in. "This is so cool!" Taehyung helps his little brother move to the bed just as Seokjin appears in the doorway, out of breath.

"I've been looking for you all over this damn hospital."

"Seokjin." You scold his language, nodding your head at Taewon.

"It's okay Y/N. I've heard hyung say damn before!" Taewon states, making the three of you laugh as Seokjin catches his breath.

"Jin, what happened?"

"This," He hands you a tabloid. "Came out this morning."

You take the paper from him and open it up to see the headline, ‘Y/N's new secret boyfriend, and a baby on the way?’ above a giant picture of you and Taehyung walking out of the hospital just last night along with a second picture of you both going into the hotel across the street.

"Shit..." You mumble, turning to the older boy. "Taehyung, I'm so sorry."

He takes the paper from you and his eyes go wide. "What the... Oh my god."

"Y/N, you're having a baby?!" Taewon squeaks with joy. "I knew you two were in love!"

"Taewon-" Taehyung rolls his eyes.

"Um, no sweetie." You shake your head, your cheeks flushing red. "Sometimes newspapers like to say things that aren't true.”

"They lie?" You nod. "Why would they do that?"

"To make people read their stories." Seokjin sighs. "To get people's attention."

"I would rather read the truth." Taewon states matter of factly.

"And that's why we keep you around." Taehyung laughs, ruffling his brother's hair.

"What do we do?" You turn to Seokjin.

He rubs his neck. "You should be safe here." He states. "But the company is furious and wants you to post the truth to your social media before rumors get too out of hand."

"Okay, I'll do that tonight."

Alright." He nods. "I have to go make arrangements with security, but I'll see you later." And with that, he leaves.

The next few hours are spent getting Taewon adjusted to his new room, ordering food, watching tv, and figuring out a script for your video. As you're filming, you introduce the two Kim boys, reiterating that you're not pregnant, you've been visiting Taewon in the hospital to make sure he gets better.

You send the video to Seokjin who quickly approves it, allowing you to post it on your social media. Fans quickly comment their support and understanding and you breathe a sigh of relief, ignoring the hate comments as per usual. Taewon seems amazed at how quickly the video blows up as you show him all the comments cheering him on and telling him to feel better; and thus the three of you can relax again.

When the movie you're watching is over, Taewon sighs and turns to you. " Noona, are you sure you're not in love with hyungie?"

You choke on your water as Taehyung scolds the younger boy. "Taewon, enough."

"But you guys are together all the time! And you're always laughing and whispering together! Just like in the movies!" Taewon whines.

"We're just friends, Taewon." You shrug. "Just good friends."

"Well, can you fall in love already? I want you to be happy."

"I'm afraid it's not that simple." You explain.

"Exactly." Taehyung agrees. "Besides, I'm sure Y/N has a famous idol boyfriend already."

"I actually don't, but that doesn't change the fact that you can't force people to fall in love. And you can't choose who you fall in love with either..." You trail off as your fingers play with the ring dangling from your necklace. You haven’t thought about him in a few days but your heart aches the same. “Anyway, I should probably get going so that someone can get some sleep.” You stand up and walk over to Taewon, ruffling his hair before saying goodnight and walking up to the door. 

“You aren’t staying here?” Taehyung asks, following you out into the hallway. 

“And give the papers more to talk about.” You shake your head. “I’ll just be across the street if you need me.” He hesitates before nodding, letting you go.

As you settle into your bed, you can't help but notice just how quiet your hotel room is without Taehyung in it. You didn't realize how soothing his snoring had become. You toss and turn in your bed, unable to shut your eyes for more than a few seconds until your phone buzzes on the nightstand. You pick it up to see a message from Taehyung.

Taehyung (11:37pm): Can you sleep?

Can he read minds?

You (11:37 pm): Not without the sound of you snoring Taehyung (11:38 pm): wow. Here I am being a good friend, checking on you. and you insult me! You (11:39 pm): lmao You either? Taehyung (11:39 pm): Nah. This room feels weird. You (11:40 pm): It feels weird? Taehyung (11:40 pm): Yeah, I don't know how to explain it. I guess I got used to sleeping without the sound of hospital machines beeping. You (11:40 pm): Turn on the tv? Taehyung (11:41 pm): I tried that already. I don't even feel tired any more You (11:42 pm): Do you want to go for a drive? Taehyung (11:42 pm): A drive? You (11:43 pm): Yeah. You know, like in a car? Taehyung (11:44 pm): Won't you get in trouble? You (11:45 pm): Meet me out front in fifteen

After getting dressed and convincing Michi to let you borrow the car without telling Seokjin, you're parked outside the front entrance of the hospital waiting for Taehyung. You jump at the sudden knock on the window until you see it's Taehyung and unlock the car. He climbs into the passenger seat and the two of you take off.

"Your driver actually let you take the car?" He asks.

"Yeah, apparently I do it all the time."

"Apparently?" He looks confused.

You hesitate. "It's uh, hard to explain..."

"Alright. So where are we going?"

"I don't know." You shrug. "You know the area, is there anywhere we can go to just chill?"

"I know just the place."

Taehyung directs you the rest of the way, and before long you pull up a driveway to a small house surrounded by trees. As you get out of the car you hear nothing but crickets chirping and bugs buzzing, even the stars seem brighter out here.

"Where are we?"

"Welcome to my house."

"Your house?"

"You didn't think we lived at the hospital, did you?"

You shake your head as you follow him. "So this is where you grew up?"

"Mhm." He leads you around the yard to the back of the house where there's a small patio with a firepit. "S'mores?"

You can't help but smile. "Sounds great."

.

After your fifth s'more, as you lick your fingers clean, you catch Taehyung staring at you. "What?" You ask.

"Nothing." He shakes his head, going back to poking at the fire, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. "You're just... You're not what I expected."

"Well what did you expect?"

"Definitely not someone who can down five s'mores in twenty minutes."

"Shut up." You giggle as you shove his arm. "You've had like thirteen."

"I'm just saying, the media does a great job painting you as a dainty... block of ice."

"Ice?" Your eyebrows furrow. "Do you think I'm that cold?"

"No, no not anymore." He explains. "But I definitely didn't think you'd be this chill. You seem so proper in your interviews, I was worried when Taewon chose you as his wish , I didn't..." He clears his throat. "I didn't think this sort of stuff meant anything to you which is why you kept putting it off."

"Not at all. I had to reschedule because of my hus- uh... s-some family problems." You reach up and twirl the ring in your fingers. Taehyung observes you, but doesn't press the matter.

"I'm glad you called me out here actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"What's up?" You look up to see his face has become very serious. "Taehyung?"

He sighs. "Next week I've decided to have experimental surgery to try and remove the tumor."

"W-what?" You gasp.

"Don't try to change my mind. If there's a chance I can get rid of this thing, I want to do it."

"Taehyung, that's insane. There's still other treatments you could-"

"Y/N, don't." He scoots closer and grabs your hands. "I told you I've already made up my mind."

"But-"

"No but's." He shakes his head. "However, there's something I need you to do for me."

"Anything." You nod.

Taehyung sighs again. "Unfortunately, there's only a ten percent survival rate for this surgery."

"Taehyung-"

"Listen." He scolds. "I don't plan on going anywhere, but if I do, I want you to take care of Taewon for me."

"You want me to be his guardian?"

He nods. "I know it sounds crazy , but you're the only one I trust. And you're the only one he has. I can't let him go into foster care. I can't do that to him. Please, promise me you'll take care of him?"

"As if he were my own brother." You agree.

"Really?" Taehyung seems surprised by your answer.

"Of course." You mumble. "But Taehyung..." You sniffle, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. "You're... You're not allowed to go anywhere, okay?"

"Y/N..." He reaches a hand up and wipes away a tear that has slipped down your cheek as you meet his gaze. "Don't cry."

"Don't go." 

He offers you a small smile. "I'm not going anywhere."

.

The two of you sit out until early in the morning when the fire dies before Taehyung leads you inside the house and into what must be his bedroom. When he flicks on the light, he realizes a problem.

“Um. I can go sleep in Taewon’s room if you want to sleep here. His bed’s a little small.”

“We can share.” You state. He looks at you, bewildered, and you just nod.

You pull the covers back and both climb under, turning face to face as you close your eyes and breathe in, inhaling Taehyung’s now slightly smoky scent. You open your eyes again to see Taehyung observing you closely and you raise your eyebrows to ask why.

It's quiet for a few seconds, the two of you locked in this moment until Taehyung leans forward and presses a gentle kiss against your lips. He rests his forehead against yours as you breathe out shakily. He places another kiss against your cheek. "I'm not going anywhere."

He pulls back and your eyes meet once more. You can't tell if it's all the emotion in the air, the underlying loneliness and feelings you've been repressing, or a mixture of both, but as you look into Taehyung's eyes, you realize you're ready. 

You both silently agree on what's about to happen and Taehyung immediately reaches for you, pulling you against him and planting his lips on yours. You wrap your arms around his neck, lacing your fingers in his hair as an attempt to get closer. His lips are soft and plump and it doesn't take long for his tongue to flick against your mouth which you happily accept, tugging on his blonde locks and eliciting a soft grunt from him as he slips his tongue into your mouth.

Taehyung's hands are all over your body until he finally reaches down to unbutton your shorts before yanking them down your legs and then shedding his own pants. He quickly climbs on top of you, settling himself between your legs as his lips find your neck. He licks and bites at your skin as one of his hands slides under your shirt and under your bra to fondle your breast. He does his best, but your bra keeps getting in the way.

"This won't do." He mutters, sitting up and pulling your shirt off over your head before reaching around and unhooking your bra while he kisses you deeply. You're left short of breath as Taehyung tosses your bra aside and focuses his mouth on your breasts instead. He plants wet kisses on your chest before flicking his tongue across your nipple , making you gasp. He squeezes your breasts together as he smirks up at you. "You're beautiful, you know."

"Me?" You scoff. "Have you looked in a mirror?"

Taehyung simply shrugs, rubbing his thumbs over your nipples; back and forth, back and forth; making you squirm beneath him. He watches you closely, relishing in your reaction and occasionally letting his tongue graze across the hardening buds.

When he's finished teasing you, he kisses his way down your body, tugging off your underwear before laying on his stomach in front of you and trying to spread your legs. 

"W-What are you doing?"

"What do you mean what am I doing?" He giggles until he sees the look on your face. "Wait, has... No one's ever gone down on you before?"

"No..." You admit.

He stares at you, shocked. "Are you serious?"

"I've only had sex with one other person!"

"Oh. Really?" You nod. "How long has it been?"

"70 years technically." You mutter under your breath.

"How many?"

"Uh. S-seven years."

"Wow, so since you debuted basically."

You guess that's when you debuted. "Yeah, I haven't really had a chance since."

"Do you want me to try and see how you like it?" He asks.

You hesitate. "I-I guess so."

"You sure? I don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable."

"N-no. Go ahead."

Taehyung nods, keeping your legs closed as he pushes them back into your chest, beginning by placing soft kisses all over the backs of your thighs as his lips wander closer and closer to your center until finally you feel the first brush of his fingers against you. He lightly drags his thumb down over your folds, pressing ever so lightly before running his tongue up in the opposite direction, making you gasp. He tries to spread your legs again, but you still hesitate.

"Do you trust me?" He asks, looking up at you. You nod, and finally allow him to spread your legs.

You watch as he brings his mouth down to your center and flicks his tongue out once more, licking a long stripe up your center before poking his way into your folds and gently prodding his tongue at you until you're begging for more. He happily obliges, settling his face between your thighs and rubbing his tongue against your clit, making you shiver.

You've never felt anything like this before. It doesn't feel this good when you do it yourself; how does his tongue even move that fast? Your hands automatically tangle themselves in his hair, tugging gently whenever his tongue presses down particularly hard. After a few minutes of this blissful torture, Taehyung's thumb returns, rubbing lightly around your soaked entrance. When he realizes how wet he's made you, he smirks against you.

"Damn, you get worked up easily." He teases.

"Shut up." You mumble, pulling on his hair harder to get him to go back to what he was doing.

Taehyung obeys your wishes and this time wraps his lips around your bundle of nerves, sucking on it delicately. You feel his thumb pull away and it's quickly replaced by two of his long fingers which he presses against your core until they find their way deep inside you. You let out a strangled moan, thrusting your hips up into his face, making him chuckle as he continues his ministrations.

He slowly pumps his fingers in and out while his lips and tongue stay focused on your clit, his tongue picking up speed as his fingers do. Suddenly he curls his fingers forward inside you and your breath is taken away as he rubs against your g-spot.

"Oh fuck!" You whimper, squirming beneath his touch. You chance a glance down at Taehyung to see him staring back up at you, smirking, and you immediately look away, blushing.

You're panting now, your body unable to hold back as you feel your orgasm creeping in on you. Taehyung moans against your center, vibrating your body as you look down at him again; this time his eyes are closed, and you can see him rutting his hips against the bed, chasing his own friction. He sucks harder, his tongue moving faster as he tries to get you off so he can stop teasing himself more than anything. It doesn't take much more, just a few good flicks of his wrist and you start to unravel beneath him.

"T-Taehyung, I'm... I'm gonna-" You try to warn him. He only nods against you, sucking on your bundle harshly as he helps you fall apart with a cry of his name. "Taehyung!" You gasp as your body is flooded with the warmth of your orgasm, your thighs quivering around Taehyung's head as you drench his chin and fingers with your release. Your body shakes and your core pulses as Taehyung coasts you through, pulling off as you calm down and resting his head on your lower abdomen as you attempt to catch your breath.

"Okay, that was hot as hell." He states, reaching up to absentmindedly play with your breast. "You good?"

You nod as your breath comes back to you. That was way more powerful than your last orgasm. "Holy shit."

"I told you I knew what I was doing." He smiles.

"And you were right." You admit. Taehyung seems pleased by this as he climbs up your body to kiss you, the taste of yourself lingering on his tongue as he slides it past your lips. That's when you feel Taehyung's length pressing against your thigh as he lays on top of you; hard and throbbing, aching to be inside you if the way his hips press against you is any indication. "Do you want me to, um. Return the favor?" You ask.

He shakes his head. "I just want to be inside you. You felt so tight." He groans in your ear, sending heat flooding back between your legs. You wrap your legs around him and pull him close.

"I'm ready if you are."

"Already?" He asks, surprised.

"Mhm." You nod shyly. "Please?"

Taehyung quickly sits up and sheds his boxers. You watch as his hard length bounces, amazed to see it dripping. "Wait, shit. I don't have a condom."

"Don't worry about it, I’ve got it covered." You hurry him, pulling him back down to you.

"Hey," He cups your face as he leans over you. "Let me enjoy this. Slow down."

"Sorry." You giggle.

"It's not every day I get to fuck an idol."

"Hey!" You roll your eyes, laughing as you smack his chest. "Come on."

He smiles as he leans down and kisses you again, scooting forward and rubbing against you, coating himself in your juices before lining himself up with your entrance and pushing in. You gasp as he fills you, the sensation overwhelming you as you moan low in your chest. Taehyung grits his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut at the feeling of you wrapped around his length. When he fills you to the hilt, you both breathe out as he opens his eyes again to gaze down at you. 

“Damn. I didn’t think you were going to be this tight.” He grunts, leaning down to kiss you once more. 

“Please move.” You beg, your hands squeezing his shoulders. 

Taehyung nods, pulling his hips back to smack them into you again, and again, and again. He builds a slow, but satisfying rhythm, filling you completely each time before pulling out again. You get lost in the feeling of Taehyung thrusting into you, both of you caught up in this intimate moment with each other. You tug on his hair, eliciting the sweetest of moans from his lips moments before they reattach to yours. 

“Harder…” You whisper when you come up for breath. He groans in agreement, obeying your wishes as he fucks you harder, his hips slapping against yours with a sweet smacking sound as you wrap your legs around his waist. 

Suddenly he angles his thrusts upward and his cock brushes against a spot that has you keening against him, loving the way it makes you feel.

“Oh fuck~!” You whimper.

Taehyung smirks as he repeats the motion, over and over, he slams into the spot so hard you see stars. Suddenly you feel that now familiar feeling swirling in the pit of your stomach. “T-Taehyung…”

“I know, I know.” He pants, picking up his pace and watching your breasts bounce as he does. “Whenever you’re ready.”

You can only nod, too far gone for words at this point. It’s only a few more thrusts before you come undone in his arms, your entire body quivering as you moan from the force of your orgasm. Taehyung rides it out with you, making sure you’re finished before he pulls out and strokes himself to completion on your stomach, groaning softly.

The two of you stay there panting for a while, relishing in the moment with each other as you both come down from your highs. Taehyung eventually gets up and slips his boxers back on, shuffling over to the bathroom and returning with a damp washcloth. He cleans you off and then tosses the cloth aside, giving you his shirt to put on before he crawls back onto the bed with you, curling up behind you and wrapping an arm around your waist. 

Taehyung kisses your cheek softly, pulling you close.  You lay there in the silence for a while, neither of you wanting to disturb the moment, but as you’re about to drift off Taehyung speaks. “Y/N, can I tell you something?”

“Mm.” You mumble an acknowledgement. 

“I think Taewon was right.”

You roll over to face him. “How so?”

“I think… I think I’m falling in love with you.” He whispers, brushing a piece of hair out of your face.

Your heart thumps so hard in your chest, you’re afraid he can hear it. “Really?” You ask. He nods, meeting your gaze and looking for a response. You decide to tell him the truth. If this is the last moment you have with him, you want him to know. “I love you too.”

.

A week later, you wake up and sunlight is filtering in through the blinds. You slowly stretch, feeling someone’s arms wrapped around your waist. You smile to yourself, settling back into his embrace when your phone buzzes on the nightstand next to you. You pick it up to see it’s a message from your lawyer who you contacted the day before. 

Lawyer Sooyoung (10:22 am): Hey, I have everything together for you if you want to meet today and sign it! You (10:23am): Perfect! If you could bring it by this address later, I'll be here all day!

You send her Taehyung’s address and then put your phone back down. Today’s the last day before Taehyung’s surgery, so you told him to spend the entire day with Taewon instead of you, knowing that if things don’t go well tomorrow, it could be their last day together. 

You roll over and gently rouse Taehyung, wanting him to go over as soon as possible. 

“Tae, wake up.” 

“Mm… Y/N?” His eyes flutter open and he looks up at you. 

“Hey, it’s sunday.” You remind him. “You should get going.”

Realization spreads over his face and he nods. “Ah, right.” You sure you don’t want to come?”

You shake your head. “I have things to do today. And it should really just be the two of you.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“And please, don't forget to tell him what’s happening.”

He nods again, still not fully awake as he places a kiss on your forehead and then sits up, rubbing his hands over his face. Taehyung dresses and then gives you one last kiss before heading to the hospital.

You spend the rest of the morning puttering about the house, watching tv, playing on your phone before you get a text from Sooyoung that she’s on the way. You change out of your pajamas and wait for her to arrive, hearing her car pull into the driveway before long. You head out to the front door to greet her.

“Sooyoung!” You cheer as she gets out of her car with her briefcase. 

She scoffs at you, shutting the car door behind her. “Since when do you use my full name? Am I in trouble?”

Ah, you forgot. You’ve met Sooyoung a few times since you ended up here and had to listen to her talk about how close the two of you seem to be. “Sorry, Unnie! Just glad to see you.” You offer a smile as she reaches the front door and gives you a quick hug. 

“I don’t know Y/N, something’s off about you lately. It’s like you’re this whole different person.” She states as she walks into the house, quickly setting her things on the kitchen table and taking a seat. You hurry over and do the same, sitting across from her. 

“I feel different.” You state. 

“Mm.” She eyes you carefully before waving the conversation away. “Anyway, I drew up everything you asked for, you just need to read over and sign everything. And Taehyung needs to sign a few things too.”

“He won’t be back until tonight.”

“That’s fine, just have him sign everything and you can have Jin bring it by tomorrow.”

“Where do we start?”

Sooyoung pulls several documents out of her briefcase, all organized neatly as she reads over each one with you before showing you everywhere to sign and initial. The first one states transfer of guardianship for Taewon if anything happens to Taehyung. The second is about you. If anything ever happens to you, you’re designating everything you have to Taewon when he turns 18, well, if he turns 18. Until then, Jin will be in charge, helping watch over Taewon until he is grown and able to manage things himself; and of course a healthy portion of your funds go to Jin directly; if only as a thank you for putting up with you all this time, especially the last two weeks.

After everything is signed and finished, Sooyoung begins to pack up her things. “Okay, that’s everything.” She states, smiling. “If you need anything else just let me know!”

“Actually, there is one more thing. I need you to open a safe deposit box for me.”

She nods. “Sure. I’ll get a key for you sometime in the next few days.”

“Thanks.” You nod, giving her a hug before walking her back out to her car. “For everything.”

“Hey, it’s what you pay me for.” She jokes. 

“Right…” You wave goodbye before heading back into the house, shutting the door and taking a deep breath. The rest of the day is spent relaxing. You take a bath after dinner and drink a glass of wine, enjoying having some time to yourself. 

.

A little after 11, Taehyung arrives back at home. You look up to see his eyes are puffy as he walks through the door. 

“Aw, Tae…” You whisper sympathetically. 

“I’m fine.” He shakes his head. “I just… I didn’t realize how hard it would be to say goodbye.” He admits, flopping on the couch next to you.

“How did he take it?” 

“Pretty well honestly. I mean, I feel like if anyone understands what’s happening, it’s him.”

“That makes sense.”

“He is, however, very excited to possibly live with you.” Taehyung chuckles, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “He really adores you, you know that?”

“The feeling’s mutual.” You assure him, smiling lovingly at him.

“I’m so glad I met you.” Taehyung whispers, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Me too Tae.” You sink into his embrace, his arms warm as they wrap around you. The two of you sit like this for a while, enjoying the feeling of being together for what could be the last time, until you have to ruin it, of course. You sit up and grab the folder from Sooyoung, handing it to Taehyung.

“What’s this?” He asks, opening it to sift through the contents.

“Those documents we talked about… You should sign them before tomorrow.”

“Right, okay.” Taehyung nods, standing and walking over to the table to find a pen. You follow him, sitting next to him and helping as he works his way through it, pointing out all the places he needs to sign and initial. When he’s done, he turns to the second document and then looks up at you. “Is this just a copy?”

You quickly move to shut it inside the folder, you should’ve taken it out before giving the other one to him. “T-that’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” You try to shake him off, but Taehyung holds the document out of reach and reads the beginning of it. 

“Transfer of estate in case of… Y/N, what is this?”

“It’s just a precaution.”

“A precaution to what?” He asks, his eyes wide with worry.

You sigh. “I just… If anything ever happens to me I want you guys to be taken care of.”

“What’s going to happen to you?”

“Nothing!” You blurt a bit too quickly. “I mean, I don't know, things happen all the time.”

“Y/N…”

“I… I can’t tell you. You’ll think I’m crazy. Just trust me. It’s a safeguard, okay? Just in case.”

Taehyung puts the document down and takes your hands in his. “Nothing you ever say would make me think you’re crazy.”

You scoff. “You have no idea.”

“Then tell me.”

The way he looks at you, it makes your heart hurt. Do you want to just leave him hanging like you did Jeongguk? You don’t think you could ever do that to another person. Jeongguk gave up his life to search for you, and you know Taehyung is the kind of person to do the same, but can you really tell him your secret? Two people in the same timeline knowing what happens to you, is that too many? Can you risk it? You don’t know what the rules are… Or if there even are any rules.

“Wait here.” You mumble, standing.

“Y/N-” He tries to grab your arm, thinking he upset you, but you hold up your hand.

“Just… Just wait here.”

You walk back into the bedroom, digging through your things until you find what you’re searching for in the bottom of your bag; a photo album, a wooden box, and a book. You return to the kitchen, setting the things on the table as you take your seat next to Taehyung. He eyes the items curiously, but waits patiently for you to explain. 

You gather your thoughts, trying to find the best way to phrase everything before you begin. You explain the first time it happened to you, how it was the weirdest deja vu feeling, and how it changed after that, longer jumps, stranger jumps, putting you in places and times you never thought possible, until your last jump. You explain your time with Jeongguk, and everything that happened to you up until now.

“At any point I could disappear, just like I do every time. The haze will happen and I’ll be gone.”

“So, wait… You jump through time?” He doesn’t believe you. He can’t believe you. Not without proof. You grab the book off the table and slide the bookmark out of its place, handing it to Taehyung. He stares down at the picture of you and Jeongguk, studying it closely until his eyes go wide. “Your ring.” He mutters, more to himself than you as he looks up at your neck, seeing the very same ring dangling from its chain around your throat.

Your fingers automatically fiddle with the jewelry in question as you open the photo album, showing Taehyung more pictures of your previous life with Jeongguk. He takes it all in, watching in silence as you explain things to him. When you’re finished, he’s quiet for a long time, mulling it all over in his head until he finally speaks.

“When you cancelled for a family emergency, that was…?”

You nod. “I had just arrived here, and I… I needed to find him.”

“And he’s…”

“He’s gone.” You smile bittersweetly. “Cancer, ironically enough.”

Taehyung lets out a half-hearted chuckle before he nods in understanding. “I believe you.”

Your eyes go wide at this. “R-really?”

“Of course.”

You breathe out a huge sigh of relief, your head falling forward into your hands. “Thank you.” You whisper.

Taehyung doesn’t answer, as if he knows the thanks weren’t entirely meant for him, but for someone else, something else. Instead, he simply grabs your arms and pulls you up with him, tugging you into the bedroom and laying on the bed next to you, wrapping you tightly in his arms for comfort.

“Tae if anything happens to me, I need you to take the things I showed you and give them to Jin. Tell him to put them in my safety deposit box, he’ll know where it is.”

“Okay.”

“I love you, Kim Taehyung.” 

“I love you.” He breathes in your ear as you both drift off. 

.

When you wake up the next day, the sun is streaming in through the blinds and you quickly realize that Taehyung is not beside you. You bolt upright and scramble for your phone, checking it to see the time. 11:13 am. Taehyung’s surgery started at 8 am. You fling the covers off your body, throwing on some pants and a shirt before grabbing your purse, a mask, and a hat, and heading directly to the hospital. 

When you arrive, you immediately go to the surgical wing, checking in at the desk to see where he is and following a friendly nurse to the waiting room. You see his name and status flashing on the board across from where you sit: Kim Taehyung, OR. You can’t focus on anything except those three words, completely lost in your own anxious thoughts as you wait for Taehyung.

Waiting…

And waiting…

And waiting…

Kim Taehyung, Recovery.

Your heart pounds in your chest when the board changes, relieved and terrified at the same time. A few minutes later, a doctor walks into the room and calls his name. 

“Family of Kim Taehyung?” You quickly stand and walk over, trying to seem as calm on the outside as you can. “Follow me.” He leads you back through the doors he came through and back past several drawn curtains down a long hallway and into a room where you finally see him, wrapped in blankets fast asleep in the bed.

“H-how is he?” You question, your voice cracking as grateful tears well in your eyes.

“He’s going to recover fine from the surgery, it was strictly exploratory.”

“Exploratory? I thought-”

The doctor sighs. “It was bigger than we thought. There’s no safe way for us to remove the tumor. It’s grown around one of the chambers of his heart. If we tried to remove it…” The doctor trails off. 

“It would kill him…” You finish for him, scooting your chair closer to Taehyung. “He’ll die either way.”

“I’m sorry ma’am.” The doctor moves to take his leave. “He should wake up soon.”

“Thank you.” And with that, you’re left alone with Taehyung. You sniffle as you grab your phone out of your purse, quickly calling Taewon.

“Hello?”

“Taewonnie! Hey, it’s Y/N.” 

“Noona!”

You try to choke back your tears, wanting to assure the boy everything is fine. “I just wanted to let you know that Taehyung is out of surgery and should wake up here in a few minutes.”

“Really?? Yay! Hyungie is okay!”

“I’ll bring him by later, yeah? Let me know if you need anything and I’ll have Jin bring it for you.”

“Okay, thank you noona!”

You hang up the phone and lean your elbows on the side of Taehyung’s bed, silently sobbing to yourself as you look down at his beautiful face. Even with all the money in the world, there are some things that just aren’t possible, and it hurts you to think about. Taehyung and Taewon are as nice and selfless as they come, and yet one of them, if not both of them, will leave this lifetime so soon, whereas you will be here for who knows how long, living a thousand lifetimes, none of which you feel you deserve. 

Maybe that’s the whole point.

Maybe it doesn’t matter how many lifetimes you live, or how many things you succeed in. What really matters are the people. People like Taehyung and Taewon, like Jeongguk, and Jin, and Kono and Bitsy and Clara. People that you can make a difference for. 

You grab Taehyung’s hand in yours, rubbing it with your thumb as you wait for him to wake up, silently making yourself promise that no matter what happens from now on, no matter where you end up, you’ll force yourself to be a background character. You will only be there to support those who need you, and then you will disappear from their lives, leaving no trace of yourself. And you will not, under any circumstances, fall in love again after Taehyung. You don’t think your heart can take another break.

Taehyung stirs next to you and you feel him squeeze your hand as his eyes flutter open. “Y/N…?” He mumbles, looking around before his gaze finds you and he smiles softly. “There you are.”

“Hi handsome.” You sniffle, kissing his knuckles. 

“How mad are you?”

“For leaving without me? I’m already over it.”

“How’d it go?” He asks weakly. You know he already knows, he just wants to hear it.

You shake your head. “Exploratory only.”

“Really?” He sighs. 

“Apparently it’s bigger than they thought, and it’s um, it’s wrapped around one of the chambers of your heart, so even if they try to take it out…”

The room goes silent, Taehyung only nodding in understanding before settling back against the pillows. He doesn’t speak much when the nurse comes in to check on him. A few hours later, they allow you to wheel Taehyung up to the private wing with Taewon. You hope it will help cheer him up for a little while at least.

Taewon cheers, greeting his older brother with excitement as you push Taehyung’s bed, aligning him next to Taewon’s. Taewon quickly clambors over to his brother’s bed, rambling about all the things he did while waiting for Taehyung’s procedure to be over. Taehyung smiles softly, nodding along to the things Taewon says, his eyes heavy. You quickly remind Taewon that Taehyung needs to rest, and turn on the tv to turn the younger boy’s attention elsewhere, allowing Taehyung to close his eyes. 

You remain at Taehyung’s side, sitting in a chair, resting your forearms on his cot, one of his hands laced with yours. You must doze off at some point, barely waking up when you hear voices. 

“No, let her sleep.” It’s Taehyung. “We can tell her when she wakes up.” You feel his hand on your head, brushing your hair out of your face and hum happily as you fall back asleep.

.

The next time you wake up, you’re in a bed. You look around confused, slightly terrified that the haze came in your sleep, until you recognize it as the guest room adjoining Taewon’s. You realize it’s morning as you sit up, adjusting your clothes before walking out to the next room to see Taehyung and Taewon enjoying breakfast together as they watch some show.

“Breakfast without me?” You ask, walking over to the table between them and snagging a piece of toast.

“Hyung said not to wake you!” Taewon explains. “He said you were really sleepy.” 

“I guess I was.” You nod. “Um, how exactly…?” You look back towards the room you emerged from before meeting Taehyung’s gaze. 

“Jin moved you.” He answers. “He came up to check on you and saw you asleep so I asked him to move you to the bed so you’d be more comfortable.”

“Ah, well thank you.” You smile, sitting down at his side. 

“Hyung, can I tell her?” Taewon suddenly bursts. “Please please please?”

“Wonnie, let her at least eat something first.” Taehyung scolds.

You finish your toast and reach for a piece of fruit. “Tell me what?”

Taewon looks to his brother for permission and Taehyung nods. “Go ahead.”

“My last set of scans came back clean! I get to go home!”

Your eyes widen in shock. “Really?”

“I'm in remission!” He cheers.

You look at Taehyung for confirmation. “He comes back for repeat scans in a few weeks, but as of last night, he’s cancer free.”

“Taewon, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you.” You put on a smile, but your heart aches. If he’s truly cured, Taewon’s going to have to live the rest of his life without his brother. Who knows how long Taehyung has left. Why does life have to be so unfair? To survive years of cancer, just for it to take your brother, the only family you have left. 

“Noona? Are you okay?” Taewon rips you from your thoughts and you realize a few tears have slipped past your defenses.

“Of course! These are happy tears.” You lie as you wipe them away. “Taehyung, when are they discharging you?” You turn to the blonde. 

“Tomorrow morning.” Taehyung states. “Since it was just… You know. I don’t have to stay too long.”

“Tomorrow morning.” You repeat, thrilled at the prospect of returning to a normal life for as long as you can have it.

The rest of the day is spent relaxing, the three of you spending time together, filling your heart with warm memories. Taewon falls asleep early and you tuck him in, turning down the tv volume before Taehyung pats the bed next to him. You smile, sliding onto the cot and curling up next to Taehyung in the small space. 

“I can’t believe things are finally going to be back to normal.” Taehyung whispers into your hair, pulling you close.

“But for how long?” You ask, looking up at him. 

“Let’s not think about that right now.” Taehyung chides. “Let’s just be here. Together.” He leans down and presses a soft kiss to your lips, smiling against your mouth.

“Tae,” You return his smile, tears slipping down your cheeks. There’s so much you want to say to him, so much you want to tell him… 

But it’s too late.

You’re too late.

Before you can see anything, you feel it begin, dancing around the edges of your mind.

The haze.

It’s here to sweep you away. 

“No, please. Not now.” Your voice is panicked as you sit up and Taehyung immediately catches on, alerted by your tone. “I’m not done!”

“Y/N, your eyes…” His own gaze widens in fear. “T-they’re white. Are you okay?”

You huff in frustration as you see it begin to creep in on the edges of your vision. You try to blink back your tears, moving your hand over Taehyung’s where it rests on your cheek, placing a kiss against his palm. “Thank you for everything Taehyung. I’m so sorry. Take care of Taewonnie.”

Realization dawns on his expression. “N-now? No, Y/N you can’t go now.” He tries to sit up, but the pain from his incision stops him from reaching for you. 

“Taehyung, I love you…” Your field of vision gets smaller and smaller, your limbs growing weak from the sensation. 

“No, please. I love you… Y/N, I love you!”

It’s the last thing you hear before everything goes black.

Opening your eyes, you're greeted with an unfamiliar sight and though it hurts, you know Taehyung is long gone.

Copyright © Inkjam-Moon 2025

[crowsofdarkness]

Vaz Prizrak: Chapter Fourteen

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, violence, mentions of losing a pregnancy, thoughts of taking one's life, an attempt to take one's life. I will give another warning when that chapter is posted.

Summary: Bucky and Reader have been in their own solace while in Wakanda for years. They were finally happy to create the life they wanted and deserved. That was until a new foe came along to dust it all away.

Authors Note: This takes place during Infinity War and Endgame! If you haven't yet, please read Soldat and Dorogaya beforehand.

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx @starfly-nicole @j23r23 @baw1066 @capswife

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist | Vaz Prizrak Masterlist

“Will you stop it,” I smacked Tony's hand from my face. 

“I don’t understand how you’re alive right now,” He pondered. 

My eyebrows rose at him. “Super healing, remember?” 

“Actually the bullet grazed her head, she’s very lucky to be alive,” Bruce said as he entered the room. 

I still was located in the medical bay of the compound, only waking a few hours ago. Bruce had mentioned that he wanted to keep an eye on me before allowing me back on my feet; even if I healed fast or not. 

From what Bruce had told me is that the bullet in fact only grazed the side of my head but if Steve hadn’t pulled me from the lake, I would have drowned. 

“I still think it’s cool if we tell people that I healed over the bullet but whatever,” I joked with a shrug. 

It was weird. After my almost death experience and that dream of Bucky before waking, I had become my old self again. Joking around with my friends and feeling a sense of happiness fill my veins.

Bruce and Tony shared a chuckle. 

“Is she going to be ready? Just because you tried to end it doesn’t mean we're stopping our plan. We bring everyone back in-,” Tony looked at his watch briefly, “-T-minus two hours.” 

“I’ll be ready,” I nodded afrimly. 

“You need to rest.” 

We all looked into the doorway of the room and Steve leaned against the wooden frame, arms crossed over his chest. 

After I had awoken, Steve had told me that I had been asleep for almost twenty four hours. They all thought I wouldn’t wake up. Steve was more worried than anyone. 

“Let’s give them a minute,” Bruce mentioned to Tony. 

Once we were alone, I patted the empty spot at the end of the hospital bed. 

“I think we need to talk,” I said. 

He nodded. “Only if you’re up for it.” 

I pulled my legs to my chest while sitting up. “I’m sorry for everything I put you through, Steve. It was wrong of me to do that in front of you. And it was so fucking wrong to use you like that.”

“You didn’t use me, Y/N,” Steve said while squeezing my thigh. 

“Didn’t I? I used you for sex hoping to feel something. It’s disgusting,” I scolded myself. 

Steve gave a slight shrug. “It wasn’t that bad.” 

I couldn’t help the giggle that fell through my lips. 

“No it wasn't,” I admitted, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks remembering us together, “But I shouldn’t have done that to you. I’m a terrible person.” 

I tried to look away from him but he wouldn’t allow it, lifting my chin oh so gently to look into his eyes. 

“You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, Y/N. I don’t think of you any less or love you any less for what happened,” Steve avowed. 

A smile played at my lips. 

“I love you too, Steve. Even though our night together was amazing, I can’t do that to Bucky; not again,” I admitted. 

Steve nodded with a sad sigh. “I know. It’s always been hard to compete against him.” 

“Hey,” I spoke while grabbing his hand. “You two are not competing against each other for me. I love you both but with Bucky, it’s more than what I feel with you. It’s because of our past together and what we’ve been through. We were both there for each other through one of the roughest parts of our lives.” 

“Bucky always had been a great guy. He’s lucky to have you,” Steve stated. 

“Promise me something?” 

When he nodded, I continued. “Promise that you won’t let how you feel about me stop you from finding love? Don’t let what happened with you and Peggy happen with us.”

“Only if you promise me something?” 

It was my turn to nod.  

“Promise that you’ll have a room for me when you fix up your house?” Steve smiled with his demand. 

“Deal.” 

My lips reached my eyes with how big I was smiling. We chatted for a while, just the two of us like how it used to be; back in our Shield days together. There wasn’t any awkwardness or fear of hurting the others feelings for what we had decided. 

Steve was the only closest person I had left in my life and I was incredibly grateful that he had chosen to stay alongside me even if I had decided Bucky will forever be the one for me. 

“You know, when this is all done, we should give Natasha a funeral. Even if we don’t have her body, she still deserves it.” I voiced my thoughts to Steve. 

With a quick kiss to the top of my head and a squeeze to my shoulder, he agreed. 

“Hey guys.” 

Both of our attention turned towards the doorway of the room and saw Tony peek his head in. 

“It’s ready,” He announced. 

Steve and I looked at one another before he nodded. “We’ll be there in a minute.” 

“Do you need help walking to your room?” Steve asked once he saw me pulling out my I.V’s. 

I wanted nothing more than to change out of this medical gown and into my tactical suit. 

“Nope. Meet you down there?” 

Steve agreed with a nod. 

With my hands clenched tightly around the necklace Bucky gifted me for my birthday, I listened as the men of my team fought on who would wear the gauntlet. 

“I’m the strongest avenger. I will be the one to do it,” Thor stated. 

Tony quickly shook his head. “It’s not only that the glove is channeling enough energy to blow up an entire continent, you’re in no condition.”

“What do you think I have coursing through my veins right now?” Thor chuckled. 

“Beer and cheese wiz?” Rhodey suggested.

My boot stomped loudly on the ground, letting the others know how annoyed I was with this petty argument of who’s metaphorical dick was bigger. 

“Jesus, will someone just decide already?!” I snapped getting impatient. 

The gauntlet with all of the infinity stones sat neatly on it’s pedestal in front of all of us, teasing us with the mere thought that we were seconds away from bringing everyone back. And these idiots couldn’t stop fighting on who was going to wear it. 

Steve gave me a disapproving look and immediately I apologized with a shrug.

“We’re so close so sue me for getting impatient.”

“Someone wants to see her lover boy,” Tony wiggled his eyebrows at me. 

“Damn right I do,” I couldn’t help the excitement I felt. 

Before I saw the gauntlet, I had so many doubts that this would actually work; that we would actually be able to retrieve all of the stones and create our own gauntlet. 

I was tired of dancing with Bucky’s ghost in my dreams. I needed to feel his warm embrace around me again. 

There was a lingering thought in all of our minds, however, one that we were all very afraid to ask out loud. 

“Will this bring her back?” 

My attention turned towards Clint and even though he didn't utter her name, I knew he was wondering about Natasha. 

Sadly, I shook my head. “No. What we went through on Vomir can’t be undone. I’m sorry, Clint. She’s not coming back.” 

I swallowed the large lump in my throat to hold back the tears. 

“So we need to do this right; for her,” Bruce suggested. 

We all nodded in agreement. 

“Which is why I need to be the one to wear it,” Bruce continued speaking. “We all saw what it did to Thanos, it almost killed him. None of you could survive.”

The decision was made and final; since Bruce was mostly made up of gamma, he would be the one to make the snap. 

“Remember, bring back everyone who got dusted five years ago to now, today. Don’t change anything from the last five years,” I reminded him. 

“Got it,” he nodded. 

Steve pulled me close to him and slid his mask over his eyes which caused me to place Bucky’s old mask over my own face. Flames sparked to live, creating a shield to protect Steve and I from whatever aftermath would occur from Bruce’s snap. Everyone else protected themselves in their own way. 

“He’s coming home,” Steve nodded towards me. 

Bruce yelled out in pain as the gauntlet came to live, the sparks causing my eyes to sparkle in awe. In one fast snap, he fell to the ground in pain and we all saw his right arm burned and bloody; an aftermath caused by his snap. 

Steve, Tony, and Thor all crowded around Bruce, wondering if he was alright. Scott and Clint had ventured off to the other end of the room, muttering something to themselves, something that we couldn’t hear.

“Did it work?” I asked everyone. “How do we know if it worked?” 

They looked at me, smiles wide on Clint and Scott’s faces, but I couldn’t ask why they were so ecstatic. I then realized that we were missing someone who had been on this mission from the get go.

“Where’s the robot?” I asked.

A thunderous boom shook the building and our bodies to the core as fire rained down upon us, encasing us in debris and darkness. 

[stay-tiny-ville]

Lee Minho

Summary ~ Cat boy Lee Minho being cat boy (Or dating head cannons for Lee Minho)

A.N. - thank you all so much for appreciating my other posts it means a lot :)

A.N. 2 - ALL THATS LEFT IS SEUNGMIN IN AND HYUNJIN

A.N. 3 - feel free to send in asks for ideas after I finish Skz and Atz :))

—————————————————————

jagi/ya is the only normal or sweet name he’ll give you he’ll call you tiny, tiny baby, baby bird to annoy you (if you beat me near death, maybe kitten but I hate that name)

I understand how people think he’s the tsundere type but I definitely think it’s way less of mean love and more of him being less openly lovey dovey

He strikes me as the reserved type and would be touchy in public

It’s not to make it seem like he’s ashamed of you

Absolutely not

He just likes his business and doesn’t like it in public view

We all been knew that in all ways except physical, Lino is a cat (please tell me you understand the vine I’m referencing)

And how I saw this post a while ago about how cats consider you apart of their clan or family or whatever the actual term is and they look out for you

Lino 🤝 you

His first thought when he wakes up is to check on you

Like if you’re laying so where your neck doesn’t get hurt or if you still are covered by the blanket

If you get sick you aren’t moving a muscle

Like one time you were quietly cooking breakfast in the kitchen and when he silently made his way into the kitchen he froze mid step as he knew something was wrong

Your posture was off and slumped and the real selling point was your stuffy nose sniffles

He doesn’t hesitate to mom walk over to you and lean around the counter to stare into your soul

You blink back in surprise and he just narrows his eyes

His hand basically flies to your forehead and his eyes widen in the slightest when he feels how hot you are

He pulls whatever you’re holding out of your hand and picks you up immediately and you could have screamed if you knew it wouldn’t have killed your throat

He beelines to the bedroom and you can’t even utter a word

He doesn’t even utter a word

He leaves you on the bed and just dips

He comes back in 10 minutes with a tray of sick soup and medications

He sets the tray on your lap and he brushes hair out of your face with the hand closest to you

When you go for the steaming soup he quickly grabs ahold of your wrist so you don’t absolutely cook your tongue

He takes the bowl and trades you for the meds while he takes a spoonful and blows on it

He feeds you the soop :(

The meds quickly knock you out after eating and when he sees you get drowsy he takes away the tray to the other room

You open your eyes hours later to the skin of his neck in your face

At your movement he looks down at you and rests his hand on your forehead again

His slight grimace is all you need to know

The overwhelming urge to sneeze takes over and you sit up quickly to do so

The groan that comes immediately after brings him to coo at you

“Oooooooh tiny, little bird, did that hurt?”

You groan and he does his little huff laugh salndxtvycdkne

You spend the rest of the day full body on top of him while he “complains” about how you’re going to get him sick but you just groan

(I don’t think he’s the type to like EVER get sick- correct me if I’m wrong I never looked into it lmao)

Even if you are Gorden Ramsey level Chef you aren’t allowed to cook

It’s another one of his looking out for you tidbits as he feels important making stuff you love and keeps you alive lmao

Plus it keeps you from accident cutting or burning yourself

The type to brush his hand on your cheek when talking to you

Like you’re talking to him about the new outfit you just got and he smiles while you twirl about and when you smile up at him he brushes your hair behind your ear and lets his hand rest on your cheek

Sob

I personally am always cold and since he is cat boy I just know he takes it upon himself to keep you warm

Bundles you in his jackets

Holds your hands in his pockets

Hugs where he wraps you in the jacket he’s wearing

Sob part 2

NAPS ON HIS THIGHS PLEASE

I love naps

NAPS WITH THE CATO BABIES

omg you are cat mom and you have no choice

If you are allergic well then I suppose that is just how you go out 🤷🏻‍♀️

I adore his singing and I def don’t get enough of it and I would beg him to sing nonstop

Por favor señor I beg of thee 🙏🏻

If you were to go with him to rehearsal when the studio is empty so it’s just him he would love that

Like def bring him food (that you bought since he won’t let you in the kitchen)

And when it gets later he would teach you little dances omg that’d be so cute

He’s the sweetest little boy at heart and his main priority is to look out for you :((

[multific]

Attached to You

Modern!AU

Billy Hargrove x Reader

A/N: I'm not a doctor nor am I medically trained, so, there are things here which are incorrect. Please ignore them and try to enjoy the piece as it is. Thank you.

Summary: After a one-night stand, you find out you are pregnant, thanks to your doctor's bad advice, it turned out that your pills weren't effective. Leaving you with a baby, you have lots of decisions to make.

"I only told you because you deserve to know. I don't want anything from you. I will deal with this myself." 

Your words rang in his head over and over again.

It had been almost two weeks since he last saw you and now, he wasn't sure what he was doing.

Billy couldn't stop thinking about you. How you smiled at him even when he could see you were close to a breakdown.

It was all meant to be one night. Something he had done many many times before.

When he saw you sitting alone at the bar, he was quick to make his move. Flirting with you was easy as you blushed at every word he said. He soon learned about an ex of yours, the guy, as you explained, was rather obsessive about you and didn't want to let go of you, which is why you were hiding in a bar.

And so, Billy took this as a sign and brought you home.

It wasn't meant to end like this. He always made sure to have a condom with him. All the time. Of course, the one time when he doesn't, he gets someone pregnant...

But even so, you didn't look mad, you didn't demand money or anything from him. You just smiled and moved on.

He didn't even know your name. All he had is a phone number.

"You can delete my number as well. I won't look for you. All I wanted is for you to know since you are the father."

Father.

A word that scared him.

A word which meant nothing to him as he too, never had a father.

The realization hit him like a cold shower, he didn't have a father, so he knows just how hard it is to grow up without one, and here he was, the exact same as his.

He will have a child, who won't know their father. Who will go through the same pain as he did. Who will see their mother slowly crumble under all the pressure.

He is no better than his own asshole father.

This was unfair. 

He could run. Men could run from the responsibility since they weren't attached to the baby, but women couldn't.

---

Billy felt like a piece of shit. 

It had been almost two months since he last saw you.

And he couldn't help but wonder what 'dealing with it' meant for you. Did it mean you got an abortion? Or did you keep the child?

This was eating him alive.

He needed to find you and have another conversation with you. But you didn't pick up the phone nor did you reply to any text he sent.

He set out to the club he originally met you.

"Why the fuck did I think a pregnant woman would be in a club?!"

IF you were still pregnant.

The next couple days were awful for him.

Trying to find you, he went to the café you invited him to, no sign, he went to a hospital and asked if they knew about you. But of course, they couldn't give out any information.

You were all he could think about. 

You and the baby he might have already lost.

Billy didn't feel like himself. 

And then, one day, he spotted you. As he was walking down the street when he noticed you on the other side. 

He followed you like a creep.

Dodging people, running. He followed you. Tried to call out but since he didn't know your name, it was difficult.

You went into a pharmacy and he stopped by the front door. His heart was beating fast, not only from running.

"Hi. I have some pills prescribed for me." he could hear you say. The pharmacist took a look and turned to you. 

"Can I ask for your full name?"

"Y/N Y/L/N."

"You have... pregnancy vitamins prescribed by Dr Drew."

"Correct." you smiled. Oh God, that smile taunted him.

"Alright, let me get that for you."

He felt himself calm a little. Pregnancy vitamins. Why did they have to prescribe those for you anyway? But this meant you still had the baby.

"So, since this kind is... stronger, we recommend you take only one daily. If you skip a day do not take two the next day. Technically these are not vitamins, they are just called that. Is your pregnancy i-"

"The doctor said these are the best for my condition. So I need to take them."

"These are for you not the baby." she was rather rude as you tried to ignore her.

"I know."

"Alright, anything else I can give you?"

"Do you have any of those shooting creams? For when the skin stretches?"

"For the stretch marks? We have one, which is cold and another which is warm. One helps shoot the skin the other helps the marks to be less visible."

"I would like the one that shoots the skin, please. That would be all."

Billy watched as you paid for everything before he quickly exited so you wouldn't notice him.

Pregnancy vitamins... for you not for the baby. And you had a condition?

He watched as you walked away, but as you did a man ran into you. The man continued on while you nearly fell over.

"Watch where you are going, Asshole!" Billy pushed the man as he passed him, before he helped you. "Are you okay?"

He only realized that he was now holding your arm as you looked up at him. When did he get this close to you?

"O-Oh, yes. I'm fine thanks." he saw it in your eyes, you realized who he was soon after as you took a step back. "Thank you." you adjusted your bag before starting to walk and he knew he couldn't let you leave.

"Can we-Can we talk, Y/N?" he suddenly spoke up and you turned to him.

"If you want to." he nodded and you guided him to a nearby park and sat down on a bench.

An awkward silence filled the air. 

He knew he needed to talk. 

He took a deep breath.

"I was scared when you said you would deal with it, that you meant... abortion."

"I'm not going to lie, I thought about every option. It was one of them but... I decided against it."

"I-I heard you at the pharmacy..."

"Oh, you were there?" you looked up at him, genuinely surprised. 

"You got some meds..." he nodded as he pointed at your bag. 

"I-The doctor said it is okay to take pregnancy vitamins. But it turned out that I was the one needing them, not the baby. The doctor said my body puts the baby as a priority and takes away nutrition from me. We found out during my eight weeks when I asked the doctor if it was normal that I feel very dizzy. He did some checks and yeah. But... why are you asking me this?"

"Because for the last weeks, I couldn't stop thinking about you and the baby."

"You don't have to. You are not guilty or anything."

"I grew up without a father. I saw my mother going through so much shit. I don't want you to go through all that. I want to be a father to my child. Someone I never had."

You took a moment to fully digest what he just said. He waited anxiously for an answer. 

"Look, I will have a baby soon, a baby who can become attached. If they become attached to you and then you later decide that you don't want to do this... I believe that is worse. So, while I do appreciate your concerns, I was nothing more to you than a quick fuck. It is... unfortunate, that I got pregnant, but as I said it is something I am dealing with. So, please, if you don't mean it, don't get involved. You might think now that you want to be a part of this because you pity me or whatever, but if you change your mind..."

"I don't want to change my mind. Yes, it was meant to be a one-night stand but I can't ignore a child. My child. I'm not a coward. I want to be a part of the life of this little one." 

You looked into his eyes, trying to figure him out. He looked serious. Maybe he really had a change of heart during the last couple months. You pulled out your wallet and a picture from it. You handed it to him.

He looked at the ultrasound.

"I'm currently 11 weeks along. The baby is 41mm long. The doctor said it's the size of a fig. We don't know the gender just yet, but they are healthy."

"Healthy. Good." he wanted to hand back the photo but you didn't take it.

"I have more at home, you can have that. I have a check-up next week, you could come if you have time."

"I'll be there."

You stood up and were about to walk away when you turned to look at him.

"If you don't come next week. I mean without a good reason, I don't want you to come after. I am already very attached to this little fig, and I don't want them hurt."

"I'll be there, text me the time and place."

You nodded before saying goodbye and walking away.

He stayed, looking at the picture.

"My little fig." he smiled before he too, headed home.

---

Honestly, you were shocked to see him at the doctor's the next week. 

Every time he showed up.

He started to take you out to eat afterwards and started to ask more and more questions.

Billy asked you to move into his place which you didn't want but you did go over to his place many times.

You spent most of your weekends there. And lately, you even spent your nights there. In a separate room, but you did stay.

"What are you doing?"

"Shhhh! I heard babies can hear voices, I'm talking to them so they would recognize me when they are born." you shook your head as you continued to look at stuff on your phone. Subconsciously, one of your hands found his hair. You started to run your fingers through his locks as he continued to softly speak to the baby.

"We should get married." you nearly threw your phone at the TV.

"What?" you sat up so quickly you nearly gave yourself whiplash. He moved with you as he sat in front of you. The expression on his face was as serious as ever.

"You heard me. Marry me?"

"Why would I... What? No. Just because of the baby? That is-"

"Logical. We get married, you take my last name and the baby does too. It is logical."

"Did you hit your head or something?"

"What? Why?"

"You? Marriage?"

"Yes."

"Like in the old days? You get the woman pregnant and so you have to marry her?"

"I was thinking more about the baby and you. In case something happens to me, you two would be good on money."

"I don't want your money."

"I know you don't, I am giving it to you and the baby. We don't have to, but you can think about it."

"I honestly don't know."

"I know you probably wanted to marry out of love, fuck I never wanted to get married but here I am. With a baby on the way and with you. You are such an amazing girl, Y/N. I'm happy that you are the mother of my baby."

'"I'm very glad to hear that Billy, however, marriage is a big thing. Now don't get me wrong I have heard about people getting married for less and I'm not the biggest in the love department either. I truly believe you should marry someone you can see yourself for the rest of your life with and not be crazy in love with them but..."

"You told me this before. You said 'but you still believe that there should be love for marriage and not like love between friends.' And then you started crying because you couldn't explain yourself fully and I had to get you ice cream."

"Exactly."

"What would make you want to marry me?"

You placed your hand on his cheek.

"You might think now that its a good idea. You might think now that you would want me by your side forever, but I know Billy that one day, you would look at me and be disappointed that you married me because of our baby. One day you will be in a club, surrounded by girls and drinks and you won't think of me or our child, I want a loyal husband, and I wouldn't want you to throw the accusation at me, saying that you only married me for the baby and you would end up hating me."

"You believe that would happen? That I would regret it all and I would... what? Blame you for it?"

"Yes."

"You think that lowly of me?"

"No, I think that lowly of myself." you let out a sigh. "Look Billy, tell me that we are not here just because of the baby. You wouldn't be here if I wasn't pregnant. You would be out there as you were before. You don't want me, you want the baby. And that is completely fine. And it is all I can ask for. For you to love the kid. That's it."

"But I do love you. You are the mother of my child. How can I not?"

"Billy, please. You only care for me because of the baby. And I know that and it's okay."

Billy wanted to tell you that it wasn't true. That he truly cared for you. More than you could imagine.

He wanted to lift all of your insecurities and show you just how amazing you were.

But he did. Because he was afraid. 

Not of losing his old life, but of losing you. 

If you didn't believe him like this, he will prove his love in other ways.

---

You smiled as you saw the roses on the table. They looked amazing. 

Beautiful white roses with a little note.

You debated picking it up and reading it until you saw your name on the paper.

'To my beautiful wife' it read on the inside and it made you scoff.

Since when did he become such a romantic?

You let out a long sigh. 

Billy was trying way too hard. You were afraid one day he will realize this is not what he wants and just pack up and leave.

You were terrified that he will make you get used to his closeness and then pull away, leaving you to fall alone.

You really tried to keep your distance, to not fall in love or to not harbour feelings that would hurt you.

You really tried but it was very difficult because each time you saw his eyes sparkle as he looked at you, each time at the doctor's when he asked something about you or the baby, it made you feel so safe and happy.

When he asked you to marry him, you were ready to say yes. It was your first thought when he asked the question but then you realized your situation.

He doesn't love you to get married. He wants the baby around and that's fine.

You felt like you were lulling yourself into false realities and you couldn't let that happen.

Not with you becoming a mother.

Not with you knowing about his past. It felt like wherever you went you could see girls staring at you, eyeing you up and down. The dark thought of who he had slept with was always in the back of your head.

You knew you should let it go.

But it is easier said than done. 

You were making lunch when Billy arrived home.

"Here you are. I actually wanted to go out for food, but I guess its too late now."

"Yeah, maybe tomorrow. Thank you for the flowers." you gave him a small smile.

"Did you like it?"

"Yes, they are beautiful."

"And the card?" 

"Card?"

"Yes, wrote it myself actually. Did you like it?"

You turned back to the oven and got the pan out. Billy only shook his head as he smirked before he left to take a quick shower.

Soon, he joined you at the table.

Eating the chicken you made.

"I have an appointment tomorrow."

"I know. It's baby gender time." he smiled.

"Yeah. What would you prefer? A boy or a girl?"

"Either is fine really. What about you?"

"I thought I wanted a son, but lately I have been imagining a little girl and I realized I would be fine with any really."

"Should we have one of those crazy gender reveal parties?"

"Oh gosh, no! You know I hate to be the centre of attention. I'm fine if the doctor tells us."

"Just an idea. Then I can at least finish their room."

"Oh, I did order more things. I wanted to wait for you with the furniture though. Since you want to paint the room."

"We will know the gender tomorrow, so I can paint this weekend, then we can look at furniture and finish it up in a couple weeks." he nodded. "We are a good team, Y/N."

"Yeah, we are." you agreed as you finished your chicken and went to wash your plates.

Soon, you felt his arms move around you as you put the dishes to dry.

The way he held you, you let yourself imagine what if he loved you. What if the baby wasn't an accident? What if he wanted to be here for you?

"Y/N, marry me."

"Billy," you groaned as you turned in his arms, seeing the serious expression on his face you fell silent.

"I am serious. I love you both so much, please, marry me." he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, it was a jewellery box so it had to be a ring. And as he opened it, sure enough, it was. A rather expensive looking one at that. "I want to give you and our child the world. I want us to be a real family. Would you marry me?" You needed a moment to think.

"Yes. I will marry you." he smiled as he placed the ring on your finger, pulling you in for a breath-taking kiss.

"I love you so much." he said as his lips moved to your neck. His hands grabbed the back of your thighs as he lifted you and carried you to the bedroom.

"I love you too," you whispered to him as he began to remove your clothes, kissing your baby bump.

His eyes were filled with love, you couldn't look away.

---

The next day, you lay on the examination table with butterflies in your stomach.

You will finally know if you are having a girl or a boy.

Billy stood beside you, holding your hand as he smiled.

"As you can see, the head, two little hands and legs." the doctor said pointing everything out on the screen. "Are we ready to know the gender?"

"Yes." you said as Billy squeezed your hand.

"Let's see... Looks to be a little girl." she said as you looked at Billy whose eyes were glued to the monitor, smiling softly to himself.

"Then we can get the pink shoes you have been eyeing." you said as he finally looked at you.

During a recent trip to the mall, you found him in the kid's section when you were looking for some clothes. You found him standing there with a pink princess shoe in his hand as he smiled at the pink glittery object.

"Looks like we can." he said before he moved to place a kiss on your forehead.

You were really glad you judged him wrong.

You were glad he turned out to be a loving person and he grew into his potential. You knew he will be an amazing father and husband. 

Judging by the small smile on his face, it said it all.

The little girl had him wrapped around her tiny little fingers and she wasn't even born yet.

When the doctor left to print out the photos for you, he turned to you, kissing your lips.

"I love you so much." he said before moving back to look at the screen. In the end, it was Billy who became attached to you and your daughter. You felt a wave of happiness wash over you as all of your insecurities and worries left your body.

All that was left was happiness. 

Taglist: @fleursirvart​ @greenarrowhead​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @sincerelyfan​ @theoneanna​ @aestheticsandmarvel​ @rororo06​ @castellandiangelo​ @destynelseclipsa​ @spilledinkindumpster​ @capsiclesdoll​ @puknow​ @alwayshave-faith​ @alex12948​ @lxdyred​  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl​ @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek​ @praline357​ @trshngyn​ @avengers-r-us​ @violet-19999​ @top1bbgloak​   @manduse​   @jacalineiscomingforyou​  @mandoloriancookie​

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT STEAL, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS  

[ask-postcrash-curly]

hello curly, I'm just a voice inside ur head. And I'm here to ask you few questions

1.what's your favorite cartoon, and what's your favorite cartoon character?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. What's your opinion on everyone on the ship? And why? (You don't hav to say anything about jimo/Jimmy)

4. Well this isn't a question but, explain how to take responsibility

-just a voice inside your head :D

When I was a kid my favorites were Courageous Cat and Minute Mouse and Artie’s Pony Adventures. My favorite cartoon character is obviously my favorite crew member Polle the Pony.

I don’t have a favorite color. I used to say make one up so people wouldn’t think I was lying.

Daisuke’s a real good kid. Accident-prone, but he’s got a great attitude and keeps trying. He makes the crew brighter. For all his screw-ups, there’s a lot of potential in him. Long-haul crews need a guy like Daisuke to keep spirits up, yeah? But, to be honest, guys like Daisuke are probably better off far away from this line of work… It can burn you out. I’d hate to see that happen to him. Not that he’s ever getting a full-time job here now…

Swansea can be rough around the edges, but he’s one of the best men I know. Under the right circumstances, he’s a lot of fun, and I trust him. When push comes to shove, he’s who you want having your back. He’s a rational guy, y’know? He puts his all into everything. But once he decides something is a lost cause, he doesn’t waste time trying to make it better. He… must have given up pretty hard to start drinking that shit.

And that leaves Anya. I’ve always trusted her ability as our nurse, but I can say with full certainty that I underestimated her. If I can ignore that it’s, you know, me, her medical achievements since the crash are amazing. I’m alive. That alone is incredible. I complain a lot, but I haven’t been giving Anya enough credit for how much she does to try to make me safer and more comfortable. Do I want to be alive? Ehh. But I still appreciate what she’s doing for me even after all of this. But, yeah, Anya’s always been a hard worker. A little anxious, a little tired (which I’m in no place to judge), but unrelentingly kind and constantly looking out for the crew. She’s got a mean streak though. Game nights were intense, especially with Daisuke added to the mix.

(I won’t, then. Thanks.)

How to take responsibility is a great question. Let me know if you figure it out before I do.

[kybercrystals94]

Come Back (part 5)

Read here on Ao3

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Rated: T | Words: 2109

TECH 

Tech, even for all his difficulty deciphering traditional displays of emotions, can feel the ire rolling off of his brother in waves. “I do not understand why you are angry with me,” he admits, trying to match pace with the cadet who seems determined to stay several steps ahead. 

“It wasn’t your fight, Tech,” Crosshair snaps.

“Your fight is always my fight,” Tech argues. “We are a squad.”

“You are a di’kut!” Crosshair groans, putting his hands to his head and grabbing fistfuls of pale hair. “Hunter is going to kill me.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t keep my mouth shut, can I? And now look at you!” 

Tech has no ability to look at himself as directed; however, he is aware that he does not look as he did when he and Crosshair left the barracks. He is trying to ignore the obvious crack in the right lens of his goggles, and his injuries likely match Crosshair’s: bruises, swelling, and split skin now covered in bacta patches. The Kaminoan medics had not been pleased when the trainers brought in an entire class of cadets. 

“We will tell him it was my fault,” Tech says.

Crosshair stops walking, grabbing Tech’s arm to make him stop too. “Why would we do that?” 

“It isn’t entirely a lie,” Tech tells him. “After all, you only said what you said because of me.”

“Stop trying to save me, Tech.” Crosshair shoves him. “You don’t always have to be the hero.” 

Tech stares at him. “What?” 

“I made my choice,” Crosshair hisses, shoving him again, hard. “You shouldn’t have to pay for it.” 

“Why are you doing this?” Tech asks. “Why are you pushing me away? Why won’t you let me help you?” 

Crosshair lunges forward, catching the front of Tech’s uniform shirt in his fists, pulling him close, and snarls, “I didn’t ask for your help. I told you to run. Plan 88. Did you hear me? Plan 88!” 

“Plan 88? What is Plan 88?” Tech tries to pull away, prying at Crosshair’s grip with shaking fingers, frightened by the sheer hatred in his brother’s voice. He’s never been scared of Crosshair. Not until…

And then Crosshair isn’t a cadet anymore. He is in the Empire’s armor. The Empire. Order 66. 

“Crosshair,” Tech gasps out, and he wraps his desperate, trembling fingers around his brother’s wrists instead. “We’re coming for you. We’re coming!” 

“I didn’t ask you to,” Crosshair reiterates, but some of the hatred has leaked out. “I didn’t ask you to die.” 

“I’m not dead,” Tech tells him. 

Crosshair tips his head. “You look dead to us.” 

Tech wakes gasping for breath, Crosshair’s voice raw and sharp still echoing in his ears. He moves to sit up, and while his entire body protests the movement, he doesn’t care. The pain means that he is awake. That he is alive. That he isn’t dead. 

You look dead to us. 

“Tech?” Kandria is standing a few meters away from him, her arms wrapped around a bundle. “Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine,” he tells her, but his voice betrays him. He swallows and glares down at his hands still trembling in his lap. 

“Okay,” Kandria says. She steps closer. “I brought you some clothes. Real clothes, that is.” She sets the stack on the cot beside him and lifts the top article. She holds it reverently, her thumbs brushing over the heavy, knitted material. “This sweater was my father’s.” 

“Thank you,” he tells her, and he hopes she can hear the depth of his sincerity. 

“Do you need help?” she asks, replacing the sweater to the stack. 

“I think I can manage,” Tech says, offering a thin smile. 

Kandria nods. “I’ll come back in a few minutes then with your breakfast. And Uncle Garo wants me to make a list of the parts you’ll need to build a transmitter radio.” 

“Excellent. Thank you, Miss Kandria.” 

The use of her name seems to surprise her, and she grins. “You’re welcome, Tech.” 

He waits until she has left the room before attempting further movement. He examines the clothing. The trousers look like they will be too wide and too short; however, they are in far better shape than his blacks. The sweater is softer than he anticipated. It is mostly dark blue, but the collar, cuffs and hem are edged in an earthy yellow design.

It takes him far longer to change than he would like, and it makes him realize just how far he will need to come in his recovery before he is in any position of escaping himself, let alone with the girl in tow. He knows that he will not be allowed to freely make contact with his brothers, let alone simply leave. 

There is a tentative knock.

“I am done,” Tech calls out. 

The door slides open and Kandria comes in with a flimsi notebook and a bowl of something that somehow smells both savory and sweet. He is sitting on the edge of the cot, and Kandria sits next to him, handing Tech the bowl. 

“It’s porridge,” she tells him, then whispers, “My own special recipe.” 

Tech takes a tentative bite and is pleasantly impressed. “It is surprisingly good.” 

“Thanks,” Kandria says, smiling. 

Tech continues to eat while Kandria draws little doodles on the edges of the flimsi.

“Crosshair is your brother with enhanced eyesight, isn’t he?” she asks suddenly. 

Tech nearly chokes on the bite he was swallowing. “Pardon?” he asks, although he knows exactly what she said; he just needs a moment to compose himself. 

“You said his name in your sleep,” Kandria explains. “You sounded so sad. Did something happen to him too?” 

“Too?” Tech echoes. 

“Well, something happened to you,” Kandria says, as though it is obvious. 

And it is.

“Oh,” Tech says.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Kandria tells him gently. “I just know sometimes it helps to talk about things when you’re sad. But not always.”

Tech stirs at the remnant remains of his porridge. “Crosshair is a prisoner of the Empire. We were trying to get information as to his location when…when I fell.” 

“Your other family was with you?” Kandria asks.

Tech nods, because the words catch in his throat. 

“So they think you are dead.” It isn’t a question. There is no question. Who could survive such a fall? Tech isn’t even sure how it is possible…and he was there…is here…

You look dead to us.

“I’m sorry,” Kandria whispers. 

Tech clears his throat. “I will not be lost forever, and neither will Crosshair,” he tells her firmly, because verbalizing it might somehow make it true. 

Kandria nods, and there is a certainty to the action that Tech appreciates deeply. He wants to tell her that he intends to take her with him, that he will not leave her behind; however, he isn’t yet sure how she would take such information, if it would be well received. She is not safe here, and her uncle does not deserve to have her in his care. It is in her best interest that she be rescued. Victims don’t always realize. 

“I suppose we’d better get started on this transmitter then,” Kandria says.

KANDRIA

“Why don’t clones have normal names?” 

Jaunt laughs. “What’re you talkin’ about, kid? You saying my name ain’t normal?” 

“Yes,” Kandria tells him unabashedly.

“Rude,” Jaunt huffs, but the grin on his face tells her that he isn’t actually mad. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen him mad. “You know, my name wasn’t always Jaunt. We used to have to go by our CT numbers. Still do on official documents and all that; however, unlike you natborns, we get to choose our names…or at least get given a name by our brothers that matches our charming personalities.” 

Kandria smiles. “Did you pick your name?” 

“Nope! It was given to me by one of my batchmates. We did a training exercise where we had to go on a thirty-six standard hour hike off-world. Afterwards, I said, sarcastically of course, ‘Well, that was a nice little jaunt.’” Jaunt uses both hands to indicate himself. “And just like that, my name was born.” 

“Do you like your name?” 

“Not at first. I was hoping for something more hardcore like Droid Slayer…but it’s grown on me.” 

“What name would you give me, if I were a clone?” Kandria asks. 

Jaunt stops walking to look down at her thoughtfully. “You want a clone name?” 

Kandria nods eagerly. 

“Well, then, you’ll have to earn it,” Jaunt tells her, then turns on his heel and continues on his patrol. 

Kandria gapes after him for a moment before jogging to catch up. “How?”

Jaunt shrugs. “I don’t make the rules, kiddo, I just follow them.” 

“Will you tell me when I earn it?” 

“‘Course I will. You can bet your bottom credit I’ll have a clone name picked for you by the end of the war.” 

Kandria grins and wonders what her clone name will be.

“Can you tell me about your name?” Kandria asks. 

Tech does not look up from the wire he is stripping. “What do you mean?” 

Kandria hesitates, then rephrases her question. “Did you pick your name or did your brothers?” 

“Ah,” Tech says. “Our names more or less identify with our enhancements. They are rather obvious.” 

“Oh.” Disappointed by the short answer, Kandria continues stripping her own wire, carefully following Tech’s example. 

Tech hums thoughtfully. “You seem well acquainted with clone culture.” 

“I was friends with a clone trooper,” Kandria says. “He told me a lot.” 

“What was his name?” 

Kandria hesitates. “Jaunt.” 

“I assume his name has a humorous backstory,” Tech comments. 

“When he was a cadet, he called a thirty-six hour training hike a ‘nice little jaunt’.” Kandria is surprised at how nice it feels to talk about him. 

Tech chuckles. “That reminds me of my brother Echo…he was not originally a member of our squad; however, his name was similarly acquired. He had an unfortunate habit of echoing information to his original squad. He still does, if I am being honest.” 

“Echo,” Kandria says. “That’s a nice name.” 

“He was not always fond of it,” Tech says. “But he seems pleased with it now.” 

Kandria laughs. 

“Our sister, Omega, was named like a natborn in a way,” Tech continues. “As far as I am aware, she was decanted with that name. You and Omega will get along well, I think.” 

Kandria nearly drops the wire and blade in her hands, turning to look up at Tech. He has gone still as well, his dark eyes wide. “Ah,” he says, almost to himself, and she hears him swallow. He puts down the wire. “That is…I think that if the two of you ever met, you would get along.” 

A question burns on Kandria’s tongue, one she hadn’t even dared to hope to ask, hadn’t even considered a possibility. “You’ll take me with you?” Her voice comes out as a breathless whisper. 

She isn’t sure Tech heard her until he gives a single nod, a lift and drop of his head. “That is the plan.” 

“The plan,” Kandria echoes, and she feels the thrill of terrified excitement. 

“I have not been given the impression that you are safe or happy with your uncle and cousins,” Tech says, and his voice is quiet, even though they both know that the men in question are away from the warehouse. 

“My father would not have wanted me with them,” Kandria says, moving her eyes to the floor. “Jaunt tried to protect me, but…he couldn’t forever.” 

Tech nods again. “I know that it is a lot to ask, but I hope you will trust me.” 

Impulsively, Kandria drops her wire and grasps his now empty hand, gripping it tight. “I do!” she insists. 

Tech looks surprised by the sudden contact, but he does not pull away. “It will not be easy,” Tech tells her, “and there are risks.” 

Kandria nods. “I know.” 

“Good,” Tech says. “Then I can count on your discretion? We must not give Garo any reason to believe we have any sort of scheme.” 

Kandria nods again. 

Tech’s hand until this moment has been slack in hers; however, now, he curls his fingers around hers and squeezes briefly before pulling away. “I will give you information as you need it; otherwise, it is safer that you remain in the dark.” 

“Okay,” Kandria agrees, even if she longs to ask more questions. She does trust him. She has to trust him. 

Because there is no one else left in the galaxy for her to trust. 

Until now. 

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[nicbutnasty]

💛 gewis!!

Hello, thank you! And apologies for how long it took me to write ths one, but we got there in the end.

💛 reunion kiss/relief for George/Lewis | G | ~1K words

note: contains brief description of a fictional crash. George is mostly unharmed

It wasn’t a bad crash, all things considered. But still, Lewis can’t deny that his heart was in his mouth when the message came through on the radio. Car 63 in the barriers, DNF. George. That was over an hour ago now.

He would have been checked over by the medics and debriefed since then—nothing more than a few bruises and feeling a bit shaken up, supposedly—but Lewis needs to see for himself. Being a supportive teammate means offering comfort where he can, but maybe selfishly he needs to prove to himself that George is unharmed, to stop the way his heart kicks in his chest every time he thinks about it.

George would have done his own post-race interviews whilst the rest of them were still on track—Lewis knows how these things work by now—so as soon as he can extract himself from his own media duties, he finds himself standing outside George’s driver’s room. 

The door is slightly ajar, so Lewis knocks once and tentatively pushes it open. George is perched awkwardly there on the black vinyl sofa, as if a stranger in his own room. He looks so much smaller than he did in front of the crowds earlier that day, his lithe frame contorted into a protective curl, all elbows and knees, head in his hands. Something in Lewis’ heart clenches in sympathy at the sight. 

“Hey, George?” Lewis calls softly.

Wordlessly, George looks up, his eyes red-rimmed and watery.

Lewis crosses the room in a few strides, carefully sits next to him on the sofa. Now he’s closer, he can see George is trembling slightly, hear his breath coming out in quiet shudders. He gently wraps an arm around George, hoping for comfort rather than scaring him off.

He shouldn’t have worried, because George immediately leans into it, turning his head so his face is buried in Lewis’ shoulder. His fireproofs are probably all damp and sweaty, but George doesn’t seem to mind, just clings to Lewis like  a lifeline as his shuddering breaths turn to sharp, choking gasps. Lewis clutches him tightly, all the worry he’d pushed down in order to complete the race now bubbling up with the relief of having George here in his arms. 

Lewis rubs calming circles on George’s back, bringing his other hand to the nape of George’s neck to run his fingers through the soft hair there. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” he murmurs, “It’s okay Georgie, baby, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

Slowly George’s breathing begins to even out. Lewis continues to hold him, stroking his back and murmuring soft nothings to him, until George suddenly pulls away with a jolt.

“I’m– I’m sorry,” he stammers out, scrubbing his face with his hands, “You shouldn’t have to–”

Lewis catches his hands and gently pulls them into George’s lap, where they flutter momentarily like a captive bird before stilling. George keeps his eyes lowered, body hunched over, as if ashamed.

“But I want to,” Lewis interrupts softly. He absently brushes his thumbs over the inside of George’s wrists, where the delicate veins show in blues and greens through the skin, a tangible reminder that George is alive and unharmed. Lewis takes a steadying breath. “Oh George,” he sighs fondly, “when I heard, I was so worried. I wanted to make sure you were okay, see if I could help.”

George finally looks up at him with his big wet eyes, lashes clumped together with tears. Lewis thinks he’s never looked so beautiful. “But why?” he asks.

“Because I care about you, man.” George doesn’t look convinced, so Lewis continues, “I do, I swear. Not just because we’re teammates or whatever, but because you’re you. You’re incredible, man, and every day I swear to god I’m thankful I know you. You’re talented, you’re kind-hearted, and you’re beautiful, and I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you in my life, but I–” He feels a lump in his own throat, huffs out a wet sort of laugh, “Well, I’m not questioning it.”

Lewis releases George’s wrists to cradle his face in his hands, thumbing away an errant tear. George’s eyes have gone wide and glassy now, cheeks flushed and mouth parted slightly, as if stunned Lewis could even think about him that way. Well, he can’t have that, can he?

Lewis leans in slightly, hoping he’s not crossing a line. But George, sweet George, always there to meet him where he’s at, follows his lead, his eyelids fluttering shut.

The kiss is tentative at first, George yielding easily. Lewis can taste the salt of shed tears on his lips, licks at the seam of them and George opens easily, malleable under Lewis’ careful attention. He gasps into the kiss as Lewis sucks at his lower lip, one hand coming up to fist in Lewis’ shirt. Lewis likes George like this, he thinks. Open, expressive, not afraid to show what he needs. 

Lewis pulls back slightly and George automatically chases him, swaying towards Lewis, lips parted. His eyes flutter open in momentary confusion and Lewis can feel him tense slightly, as if preparing for rejection.

Whatever he sees in Lewis’ face must reassure him though, as George settles back into his arms. 

“Hello,” Lewis murmurs.

“Hi,” George breathes. His lips are kiss-swollen and he’s flushed pink from cheeks down below the neckline of his shirt. Lewis idly wonders how far that flush extends.

A loud thunk from outside breaks the moment, followed by laughter and good-natured jeers of the pit crew. Beyond the room, the whole paddock is packing up and shipping out for the next race. As lovely as it is right here together on George’s tiny vinyl sofa, they can’t stay. 

Lewis pushes himself up off the sofa with a soft groan, extending a hand to George. “Come on, let’s get you back to the hotel and in your pyjamas.”

George takes his hand but remains sitting for a moment, looking up at Lewis with something akin to hope in his eyes. “Will you– will you stay?�� he asks.

Lewis laughs softly. “Yes, of course I will,” he reassures, giving George’s hand a tug for good measure. 

This time, George goes willingly, keeping Lewis’ hand clutched tightly in his, whilst he reaches for his bag with the other. 

There’s the early morning flight back home tomorrow, a couple days to rest, then straight back on the plane to the hustle and bustle of the next race, the next country. But tonight, in the comfort of George’s clean hotel sheets, they’ve got all the time in the world.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Hey cal!!!! 💕💕💕💕

Maximum words for mer Buck part 2 please!!

-❤️🪐

Hell yeah! Let's do it!

---

It’s effort, but he can. It just means, when this is all over, he’s going to need to sleep for a long time. 

They get Russell out. Get him stabilized. Get a warming blanket around him while Eddie does what he can for his wound. 

“You have to help Hank,” Russell keeps saying. Over and over. “Hank… The water…”

“We need to worry about you right now,” Bobby says. “There are lots of LAFD and search and rescue members out here, looking for people. Someone will locate Hank.”

Dead or alive. But Bobby doesn’t say that. There’s no point.

“No!” Russell practically moans, a mixture of pain and despair coloring his voice. “No, you don’t understand. He was hanging on beside me… He was hurt… He let go.”

Buck looks around the water surrounding them.

“I don’t see anyone, Cap.”

Maybe one of the bodies they passed…

“The current… Tried to swim, got pulled out…” Russell says. “Please find him.”

Bobby radios it in. Lets people know there’s someone out there. 

“No! No, please! We can’t leave him,” Russell protests. 

“We have to get you to dry land, now,” Eddie says to Hank. “You need medical attention.”

“No, no… If you wait for someone else, he’ll drown!” Russell begs. “Please! He’s my best friend!”

And that’s… Probably true. If his friend got pulled out by a rip current amidst all this chaos, he could be dead before anyone locates him. Anyone without a good sense for this ocean. 

Someone with good ocean sense, though…

“I could do it,” Buck blurts. 

Eddie looks at him, eyes wide and alarmed.

Bobby looks around. Nervous. “Buck, that’s not a good idea…”

“I wouldn’t get hurt,” Buck says. “Wouldn’t even be at risk.”

“Of death, maybe,” Eddie seethes. “But of… You know…”

“I could find him and save him and-and hide,” Buck says.

“What?” Russell asks. “What’s happening?”

Buck ignores him. Ignores Eddie. 

“I’ll be careful,” Buck promises. 

“Buck,” Eddie pleads.

Bobby looks completely torn. 

“I’m only like this to save people,” Buck reminds him. “You told me not to be insubordinate. I-I won’t. But trust me, Bobby. Please.” 

Bobby pulls Buck by the shoulder and turns him away from Eddie and Russell.

“You can do this, but you have to promise me if it’s between this man and you getting caught, you choose yourself,” Bobby whispers, fast and almost angry in tone. 

“Bobby-”

“No,” Bobby shakes his head. “No buts. That’s the condition. I am not losing you that way, Buck. Do you understand me?”

Buck blinks, surprised. That’s not how Buck expected Bobby to phrase it. 

“Okay,” he says. “Okay, I promise.”

“Good,” Bobby nods. “What do you need from me?” 

“Buck!” Eddie pleads. “You can’t-”

“I have to,” Buck cuts him off. “I have to. I’ll be fine. Promise.”

Eddie’s expression tightens. He looks furious. Buck gets it. They just talked about him being afraid of losing Buck. But Eddie has to realize, Buck isn’t going to die. He’s going to be just fine. This is such a low risk for him. It’ll all be fine. Buck will show him.

He looks back at Bobby, and starts shedding the heavier parts of his gear.

“Hold onto these for me?” Buck asks. 

Bobby nods, grabbing his turnout jacket. “Be safe.”

“You got it,” Buck replies.

Then, without another word from Eddie, Buck jumps into the cool, choppy sea. 

🌻

Eddie feels a cold sort of rage. Everything they’d talked about and Buck just launches himself into full merman mode in front of all these people? Sure, the sea is dark and chaotic. Eddie knows, as he watches Buck swim away, that on a brighter day, he’d see the shine of his silvery tail against the water. Today, it sort of blends. But still… What if someone gets close? 

What if someone gets close and gets a picture, or reports him to… To someone, and… And Buck disappears one day. Bag over his head, taken to a research facility. What if… What if they force some sort of cure on him or something? Is that even an option? What if Eddie loses Buck? What if Buck loses some fundamental piece of himself? 

“What did he do?” Russell asks. “What is he doing?”

“Buck is…” Eddie searches for a lie. “A champion swimmer. He’ll find your friend.”

And then later, Eddie will kill him. 

🌊

Locating Hank isn’t hard. 

He finds the current that must have swept him under and away, and follows it, propelled by its strength. Hank is unconscious and floating towards shore near the end of it. Securing him is easy enough. It’s less work than lifting an unconscious person on land, anyway. 

Hank is going to be okay. He doesn’t seem to be bleeding much. Maybe a bad concussion. Definitely a broken arm. Buck hopes no spinal injury, but he’s done what he can. He’s kept him from drowning. It’ll take a while before rescue personnel make it out this way. 

The next steps are harder. He’s not sure how to get Hank safely back to medics. He needs urgent medical attention. It’s not a warm day, either. Soaked wet and left to lay on a beach, he might become hypothermic before anyone finds him. Shit. Buck didn’t properly think this part through. 

Bobby and Eddie will know what direction to look for them in. They’re aware. But no one else is. Buck can’t flag anyone else down without giving himself away. If Bobby and Eddie can’t get here, what will he do? 

“Fuck,” Buck mutters, swimming Hank to shore. 

Even without legs, he manages to maneuver the man’s body far enough up the shore that breaking waves won’t pull him back in. 

The man makes a sputtering moan while Buck quickly checks him over. It’s not as good a job as he might usually do, certainly not as good of a job as Eddie or Hen or Chim would do, but the guy is alive. He’s breathing steady. Pulse is stable.

[coolingrosa]

Can you elaborate on your interpretation of canon ink being a level 2 of support?/genq

Level 2 support usually requires more supervision and assistance with tasks. It doesn’t mean everyone on the level 2 support spectrum would be requiring support all the time, but rather may need it for different situations or at least need to live with another to keep them stable. While they can still live their life on their own, they may struggle with immense social cues, repetitive tasks, and diving too deep into their special interests rather than focusing on the life around them.

I see canon Ink on this side of the spectrum bc I believe his job is his special interest. And due to the fact that a lot of people don’t tend to get along with him in his canon, and he puts his special interest above the friends he DOES have. it definitely gives me the vibes that he’s on level two support. Of course, he is an adult, so he’s still capable of caring for himself and basically to teach him to do so. However, with his family interactions, it’s very clear he never DID get that support. He has a hard time keeping his job to himself and tend to info dump at random about different aus. He’s also easily swayed WITH his special interest. Underverse definitely isn’t canon, but I do know Jakei spoke with the Undertale creators to make sure some actions were correct, and Comyet has said most of Underverse Ink is accurate. Him being manipulated by XGaster using his special interest, something he relies his whole existence on and is incomplete without, is also good evidence. Hell, in the truce prologue we see that Ink isn’t dying. Nobody is creating any more, of course, but he’s alive and he’s still able to have his vials.

But because nobody is making anything new, he feels incomplete and freaks out and makes decisions and choices he normally would never.

Ink definitely needs emotional support and regulation as he’s capable of having breakdowns that are also linked to his trauma that will cause him to shut down. But he will also have meltdowns if too many AUS get destroyed under his watch and will either throw up (which is funny to some but to me has always SCREAMED horrible anxiety disorder) or will hyperfixate on fixing it or freak out. Having to deal with these emotions on his own, never being taught that him never being able to sit still when freaked out is him craving stimming to regulate, never having anyone to lean on to help him deal with it, and also making reckless decisions he’s ultimately regrets later out of panic are all reasons he needs support.

And support does not always mean medical help. The Star Sanses living with him and making sure he eats and keeps a routine and stays on track is support. Him having Dream and Swap to help him during his meltdowns or to join him when he leaves the house to get stuff done is support. Him having them around so he doesn’t do anything reckless or make bad choices is support. I don’t think Ink would benefit from medical attention as not all people do. Sometimes they just need people in their life to understand them and help them through the struggles of life so they can have that to fall back on if coping on their own comes up short.

But bc he NEEDS this support to truly thrive, and without them, will likely fall to pieces and never eat, make bad choices, have multiple meltdowns on his own, and also not be able to stick to a solid routine is why I think he’s support two. He does need somebody keeping an eye on him and helping. Letting him do his own thing, of course, since he is an adult, but also there just in case and in the background while he does his life.

[heedgeonmyworth]

So. Uh. I’m probably gonna keep needing breaks on and off. Things are not great. I won’t really be able to declare hiatuses much, and it’s going to be more of as I go.

I want to give more context to what is happening in my life right now, so below the cut are some warnings, and my current situation.

WARNINGS FOR

Abandonment, Abuse, Cancer, Cheating/Infidelity, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Gender Dysphoria, Manic Episodes, Manipulation, Mental Illness, Narcissism, Suicidal Ideation

Just because I am struggling does not mean you need to read. Please put your own health first.

During December of 2023, me and my mother were kicked out of my house by my father. My father had struggled with delusions surrounding my mother being unfaithful to him, and had been in a several year long manic episode. Eventually, after several weeks of staying in a hotel, as well as my father sending threats of suicide and hurting others, my father was hospitalized on my birthday during January. We had reason to believe he was a risk to other people’s health. His entire family fought with police and medical professionals to get him into the hospital.

He was cleared and released the next night.

Me and my mother obtained restraining orders that were violated several times, however nothing was done about this. I slowly realized over the next few months that me and my mother had been victims of manipulation, narcissistic behavior, and abuse. I had hated her for most of my life, thinking she was a cold old hag. I had hated myself the same way, viewing myself as nothing without my father. I realized how untrue both of those beliefs were. My mother was the kindest person I’d ever met, while a bit snappy at times, she was truly patient.

Then, in July, she got ill.

My mother was hospitalized as she had some form of infection. She wasn’t eating, and was severely jaundiced. But she got better from it, or so I thought.

I remember going into her hospital room, and she told me she had bad news.

“What, do you have cancer or something?” I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

She started crying.

I had barely gotten to know my mom for a few months, and she was already dying.

It’s been about 6 months since then now. She’s alive, but been in and out of the hospital with sepsis, 3 separate times. She only eats fruits, and cannot currently stand. Her doctors say that rehab is possible, but it’s not likely she’ll ever make it out. Under 50 percent of patients survive over 5 years with it. She’s already had it for at least 3. I’m likely going to have to live with an uncle I barely know. I have nobody else to take me. I have had horrible thoughts about what I will do when she’s gone. I still don’t know what I’ll do. It doesn’t help that I have been (professionally) diagnosed with several mental illnesses, am transgender, non-theistic, AND living in the United States.

So, please just be patient with me. I have no plans on disappearing, but I may end up dropping this blog someday. If that ever happens, know I’m out there somewhere living my best life I can, and you should too.

I know my situation isn’t as bad as some other people’s current lives right now, but I still am struggling, and doing my best not to let it impact me too heavily in my day-to-day life.

Sorry this was really heavy. I’m perfectly comfortable with any questions/concerns if you’d like to voice them. Don’t be afraid to reach out!

- Bas

[lifblogs]

My heart is breaking as I write this. I know I’m getting ahead of myself, but I’m truly a terrified mother. Loki went to the urgent care today for stomach upset. The appointment was pricey, as were the meds, so that is incredibly stressful, and it looks like I can’t even make cookies for my friends for Christmas, and that my idea of a Christmas Eve breakfast cannot happen. And my cat needs more meds, and more handling. This is all so hard.

I will say, the staff were incredible with Loki. They knew he had a history of medical trauma and violent behaviors from this, and they did more than just take great care of him, and keep him calm, but they truly adored him, and felt for him. I could tell some of what we had to discuss was not fun for these women. They really cared about Loki, and what has been going on, and were sad he doesn’t feel good.

So what’s going on? We’re not quite sure yet. Loki was given some meds at his appointment, and we went home with the meds. He has a probiotic, and an anti💩 med. They’re not sure the probiotic will work, but if it doesn’t that tells them more about his condition. So Loki’s bloodwork looked fairly excellent, even with the dose of phenobarbitol he gets for his brain tumors/structural epilepsy. However, they explained that this means it is not something acute going on with him. He hasn’t really gotten into any food that’s bad for him, Alley hasn’t caught this illness. Which leads us to other terrible roads. Loki has to be given gabapentin on Monday morning, and will be getting an abdominal scan. Sometimes they intravenously sedate animals for this, but the urgent care knew this was a risk given his epilepsy (I love how knowledgeable and attentive they were with every detail of his complicated health), so we do have to risk him feeling more sick to his stomach for a bit. As someone with several chronic stomach illnesses, and PTSD from one of those illnesses almost killing me in one of the worst ways multiple times, I hate to do this to him. I hate it so much. But we need this scan. The doctor currently thinks it’s possible he has a tumor in his colon. I think, given his brain tumors, it just means he’s prone to tumors in other parts of his body.

This is my son. This is my little baby boy who chose me to be his mommy when I was only 15. I have seen him suffer so much. I have seen him go through his bouts of sickness from herpes, being small his entire life from being born with an illness that kills most kittens, allergic reactions, seizures (perhaps the most traumatic thing I’ve witnessed in my life as it instantly broke my heart, and always does when he has a seizure or I kiss his little head, knowing somewhere beneath my loving touch there are growing tumors taking him away from me), nearly dying earlier in the year due to a still-unknown cause, and now dealing with being sick to his stomach and getting worse and worse.

Loki hasn’t been eating dinner, he hasn’t been playing much, he’s been sleeping a lot more. He’s sick. I know he knows he’s sick. I know. He’s in a lot of distress during the evenings and night. I wish I could take it all away for him. The meds will tide him over till his appointment on Monday, and if anything, tell us more about what could be wrong given if they work or not.

I know he’s a cat so I’ll live more lives in my single lifetime than he will, that I’ll have to say goodbye. But to see him so sick, to perhaps ready myself for goodbye even more… My throat hurts, my chest hurts. This is my son. He chose me, and I cannot let him down. I am there for him with everything, and I’ll be there when it’s time to say goodbye. I don’t know how I’ll live without this silly, thoughtful, loving, precious boy in my life. He’s my light, my joy, the reason I smile every day even while my life falls apart around me again and again. He’s everything to me. I’m glad with my health perhaps finding a better track I can be alive long enough to say goodbye to him. That’s my duty. And my heart is breaking.

Loki, knowing what I know now about all the agonies of loving you, I’d choose you again and again and again, in every lifetime. You are the greatest thing in my life, your happiness is my greatest accomplishment. You’re my baby. Loki, I love you so much.

[bellobambino]

The Weight, Part 1: $680

A man pushed to his limits grapples with a broken system, determined to make an impact no one can ignore.

806w

The fic series, The Weight, is a multiple part series highlighting Luigi Mangione's journey through the assassination of the CEO of United Healthcare, and the aftermath. Told in Luigi's first person perspective.

AN: these fics are more like a series of vignettes. my nonna always said "if i had more time i would have written less.". A love interest DOES come up in this story and she is fairly generic and self insertable. Don't worry.

Here we go:

$680

This story is about her.

Her voice is soft and wobbly. She sounds exactly like my Nonna. And for a moment, I’m not in line at the pharmacy at Walgreens—I’m six years old, sitting at my Nonna’s kitchen table, my feet dangling above the floor. My hair curly, black, wild, and impossible to tame. No matter how hard she tried. It smells like old oak, espresso, and that faint, powdery old-people smell that always seemed to cling to her. I’m nibbling on a biscotti I haven’t figured out how to eat yet—it’s too hard, and I’m too small, but I don’t want to disappoint her.

Nonna is talking about the saints. It’s always something about the saints with her.

“San Giuseppe,” she says. “He worked hard, Luigi. Worked for his family. He sacrificed.” She taps her finger on the table, her eyes locking onto mine, drilling the lesson into my soul. “Sacrifice, capisci? It is what we do. For la famiglia. For the people who need us.”

I nod. Those were all words I knew. But I don’t think I really grasped the concept of sacrifice until much later in life.

There was something in her voice that made me sad, even back then. Like there was a weight to the lessons she was stacking on my little shoulders. Every word felt heavier than me. Maybe that’s why my spine is so fucked up.

I never got used to the feeling that no matter how good I was, I’d never quite measure up to the generations of sacrifice that came before me.

The stranger in front of me has her same lilt.

“I’ve been on this medication for years,” she says, her voice cracking just a little. “It’s for my heart. I can’t stop taking it. It’s the only one that works.”

I already know where this is going.

“Well, it seems your insurance isn’t covering that brand anymore,” the pharmacist says, her tone flat, bored. “You’ll have to get your doctor to write a prescription for another drug. We can fax them, but it could take a few days for them to respond.”

The old woman blinks, her confusion spreading like a ripple in still water. “Oh…” she mutters, her fingers fumbling with her purse. “How much is it without insurance?”

The pharmacist glances at the screen, her expression neutral. “Six hundred and eighty dollars.”

God dammit.

“Oh goodness!” The woman’s voice rises, panicked now. “That’s most of my Social Security check,” she says softly, like she’s embarrassed to admit it.

The pharmacist shrugs. “You can call the number on the back of your insurance card and ask them why they stopped covering it. I’ll fax your doctor, but they’ll probably get it after the weekend. You don’t want to skip a dose of metoprolol.”

My blood pressure rises, and I shouldn’t be listening. This is her personal business. But it hits me like a ton of bricks. Because skipping a dose means her heart might decide it’s done without the meds. Because skipping a $22 pill means dying, maybe alone in her kitchen while the tea kettle screams on the stove.

Who would find her?

The market price for keeping herself alive is $680 that she doesn’t have. She opens her wallet, her hands trembling as she pulls out a credit card.

“I will use this…” she says, her voice trailing off, soft and broken.

The card swipes. It beeps. That’s it. She looks resigned. She takes the bag and walks away slowly, clutching it like it’s full of gold bars instead of heart medication.

And me? I’m standing there, fists clenched, filled with this white-hot rage that I can’t even see around. Tunnel vision.

Someone has to fucking pay for this.

The pharmacist calls me forward, and I take a breath. My legs feel heavy as I step up to the counter. She scans my prescription—$4 copay, smooth as butter. I don’t even have to think about it. But I’m not thinking about my prescription. I’m thinking about her.

I grab my little bag and walk out of the store, but I’m not walking. I’m falling—spiraling down into this endless pit of rage. I feel all the warmth leave my body through my feet, replaced by a cold, hollow static.

The rage comes back, but now it’s a dagger in my hand: sharp, deliberate.

I’m reminded that I’ve got nowhere left to go. Nothing to lose. No safety net, no real future. I don’t see a version of this life that isn’t dictated by pain and powerlessness.

I have nothing but my own free will. I’m worth at least that much.

And suddenly, the concept of sacrifice that Nonna was talking about is crystal clear.

I’ll wear the weight of what needs to be done so so others don't have to. I'll speak for them. Maybe not with words, but action.

Someone has to do something. Someone has to do the bad thing.

And that someone is me.