#does this make any sense or do i sound nuts

[atthebell-moved]

this is a nuts thing to say but i think the addition of turtles to minecraft was a weirdly interesting thing in regards to sexes

like turtles all still look the same just like any other minecraft mob but now the mechanic of them laying eggs in front of you means that technically during each of those interactions, one of those turtles is female.

now, my understanding is that isnt static-- you could breed two turtles one time and one would lay the eggs and do it another time and the other turtle would lay the eggs, functioning as the female on a case by case basis. but its an interesting fact that mojang has never added actual sexual dimorphism (different sexes having different traits despite being from the same species) into the game.

and turtles resemble chickens somewhat in this way in that all chickens lay eggs but it doesnt operate the same way in terms of breeding, so its just an interesting difference that you actually see which animal functions as female during that interaction.

this is also i think a function of people having preconceived notions about certain animals in mind-- most people, when thinking about cows, think of heifers. most people think of hens rather than roosters. contrarily, people think of billy goats rather than does/nannies, but they think of ewes rather than rams.

so in minecraft you have an animal kingdom made up entirely of single-sex (in appearance and function, aside from reproductive capacity) species and then you add turtles, who dont have a socially preconceived notion of sex aside from maybe laying eggs, and now all are capable of doing so but only one in each interaction.

[caffeinatedopossum]

Haha what if all the overwhelming rage I'm suddenly feeling is actually just 21 years of accumulated injustices that I'm only now starting to feel because my self esteem is improving. But then because it's so overwhelming that it feels genuinely unsafe to both myself and those around me for me to express it, I have to repress it further and the only way I know how to do that is to lower my self esteem again so that I don't feel angry cause I no longer feel like I ever deserved better

[bamfkeeper]

You were taken and Kurt does everything he can to to get you back.

I wanted to write something like this since the post where he sees you get hurt and goes nuts. This is sorta like that but more extreme. A little darker than what I've written before. Please skip this one if the warnings make you uncomfortable. There might be a part two that features more recovery, maybe. Idk yet we will see.

Warnings: Gender neutral mutant!reader, kidnapping, descriptions of injury, creepy soldiers, violence, mutant prejudice (the term 'mutie' is used), mentions/descriptions of physical abuse via soldiers to reader, good ending I promise, unedited (at this point please just expect it lmao I never edit my writing bc I'm lazy).

WC: 3.4k

It happened so fast, a blur of motion and confusion. You barely had time to react before you were snatched from the comforting surroundings of your bedroom and forcefully shoved into a heavily armored vehicle. The interior was cramped, filled to the brim with men in imposing uniforms, their expressions stern and unyielding. You looked up at all of them, your heart pounding in your chest.

Your powers were gone, they had put that damn collar on you, the one designed to nullify your abilities. In that moment, you felt completely and utterly helpless, stripped of your defenses and at the mercy of your captors. They knew it too.

"Poor thing. It doesn't know what to do, does it?" one of them snickered at you, his voice dripping with mockery and malice, making you shiver with a mix of disgust and fear. The man's voice was so vile it made you want to vomit, and the way he looked at you made you feel profoundly uncomfortable. You were helpless, bound on the cold, hard ground of the van, as all of these soldiers kept their disgusting, predatory gazes glued on you, watching you squirm in agony and distress on the floor.

The air was thick with the stench of sweat and metal, amplifying your sense of dread and making your situation feel even more hopeless. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, each beat echoing in your ears as you desperately wished for some form of escape, but there was none. The soldiers' laughter and jeers filled the back of the van, and you felt even more distressed.

"You're a cute mutie, you know that? Most of 'em you can tell are filthy things, but you...you're one of the attractive ones, aren't you?" one soldier spoke. His words were condescending and cruel despite what he said. The tone of his voice carried a sharp edge, filled with disdain and mockery. He looked you up and down with a sneer, observing you with distain and annoyance.

His comrades stood by, chuckling and nodding in agreement, their eyes filled with the same mixture of contempt and amusement. His expression growing more malicious with each passing second, his boot lifted and kicked you slightly. "Are you going to speak, or are you mute, just like a dumb animal?" he asked sharply.

You took a sharp inhale, your chest rising and falling quickly as you tried to steady your nerves. The air felt thick, almost suffocating, as you made a conscious effort to avoid interacting with them at all. The last thing you wanted was to provoke them and risk any form of retaliation.

Your throat was dry, and you could feel your heart pounding in your ears as you swallowed thickly. "N-no..." you managed to let out in a quiet, shaky whisper, barely audible but enough to convey your reluctance and fear.

A sharp sting to your cheek as one of them swung their baton across your face, the impact reverberating through your skull. The blow was so hard it jerked your head to the side with brutal force, and your temple slammed painfully into the cold, unforgiving floor of the van. You could feel the rough texture of the metal against your skin, the scent of dirty leather and iron filled your nostrils, adding to the disorienting pain.

He scoffed, the sound filled with disdain, his eyes holding nothing but cruel amusement and a twisted sense of superiority. "Pathetic freak," he spat, the words dripping with contempt and malice.

The ride was unbearably long and dreary, stretching on for what felt like an eternity. You laid on the cold, hard floor of the van silently, trying to block out the incessant comments and remarks they made about you and your appearance. Their voices dripped with eager malice as they spoke about the brazen and disgusting things they wanted to do to you, each word sending a shiver down your spine and making you want to curl up into a tight ball and hide from the world.

After what seemed like endless hours of discomfort, the van finally slowed to a stop. You were roughly dragged out of it, your legs refusing to cooperate after being forced to lay in such an uncomfortable position for so long. The sun had set the world into a foggy darkness, the only lights illuminating the area were from the large bunker that was build into the wall of a large mountain, guarded with armored vehicles and more men in uniforms.

You struggled to regain your bearings as they pulled you forward, your body aching and your mind reeling from the ordeal. They forcefully walked you inside the huge doors that were drawn open, jerking you around with a roughness that made it hard to keep your composure. Their hands grasped you firmly, their hands groping your body as you struggled against their grip, trying desperately to maintain a calm façade.

Your brave face was beginning to falter, and it became increasingly evident that your terror was rapidly growing. Despite your best efforts, you couldn't hide the fact that fear was taking over, creeping into every corner of your mind.

They walked you to a wall of cells, which stretched endlessly in both directions, each one containing a mutant. Some cells already held mutants who were caged and looked absolutely horrible, as if they had been there for a long time. The conditions of the cells varied greatly; some were sterile and clean, while others were more run-down and dilapidated, as if the guards had no fear that the mutant inside would ever escape.

The air was thick with the smell of decay and neglect. Most of the mutants didn't move or look up; they were either lying down or sitting in a posture of utter defeat. Their eyes were vacant, their spirits broken, and it seemed as though hope had long since abandoned them. The overall atmosphere was one of despair and abandonment, a stark reminder of the cruelty inflicted upon them.

"What is this place?" you asked, attempting to sound firm and confident. However, your voice betrayed you, emerging as meek and afraid instead. The man holding you chuckled in amusement at your fear as he opened the heavy, creaking door to your chosen cell.

"Your new home, mutant. Get comfortable," he sneered, his voice dripping with mockery. With a rough shove, he threw you onto the cold, hard ground. The impact knocked the wind out of you as you landed with a thud. The man then unsheathed a gleaming blade, its edge catching the dim light.

He began to cut through the coarse ropes that bound your body, each slice of the blade careless. He didn’t care if he nicked you, and he did a few times. You flinched as the blade cut your skin, the sharp jerks and sawing through the ropes stabbed into you as you let out sharp hisses and pained gasps.

The man continued as if he weren't hurting you, and he scoffed with each noise you made. "If you sat still this wouldn't have happened," he grabbed one of your bleeding arms and he held it up.

"What do you want from me?" Your voice whined out, desperate for answers. None of their uniforms gave their organization away, and you had no idea what they wanted with you. The room was dimly lit, casting eerie shadows on the walls, which only added to the sense of dread you felt. The man just stood up, shrugging nonchalantly as if this entire situation was a routine matter for him.

"Nothing important. Whatever the boss wants," he replied, his voice dripping with apathy. "We do anything to your kind, and no one will come for you. We won't be charged with any crimes, you aren't people. You're nothing to us, and soon we will exterminate your species and we will be the supreme race on the planet again."

His words cut through the air like a knife, making it hard to breathe. You could see the cold determination in his eyes, a reflection of a deeply ingrained hatred. It was clear that they had been planning this for a long time, and you were just another pawn in their grand scheme. The thought of being part of such a ruthless plan made your stomach churn, but there was nothing you could do but listen and hope for a chance to escape.

The days melded together in an indistinguishable blur, and your concept of time dissipated. Every single day, you were visited by the men, who would unceremoniously drag you into a sterile lab filled with cold, clinical instruments.

There, a man wearing white would subject you to various invasive procedures, poking and prodding you with sharp tools that seemed designed to maximize your agony. They took many things from you—blood, tissue samples, and even bone marrow—leaving you feeling increasingly depleted and always somewhat wounded and weak.

Your time in this nightmarish place was exactly what mutantkind was afraid of, what you were afraid of, filled with relentless suffering, and they showed no sign of compassion or concern for the excruciating pain they inflicted upon you.

You were beaten regularly, just like the rest of the mutants being held captive in the facility. Every day, they came to your cell with their batons, mercilessly laying into you until your skin changed colors from the bruises. They were relentless, you were kicked and hit repeatedly, dragged by your hair across the cold, hard floors, thrown against the walls, and tossed around like a ragdoll.

You were barely fed, only given tasteless slop that had the consistency of old paste and looked anywhere from white to grey mush. This so-called "food" was just enough to keep you from starving, but not enough to ever feel full or satisfied. The meals were infrequent and meager, purposefully designed to keep you in a state of constant hunger and weakness.

They wanted to ensure that your body remained perpetually frail, as if the collar around your neck didn't already make you harmless enough for them. This deliberate deprivation was a method of control, a way to break down your spirit and ensure that you remained too weak to resist or fight back.

You were so tired.

The torment seemed endless. You swore that if they didn't need to take samples from your body nearly every day for their experiments, they would have taken pleasure in killing you outright. The relentless abuse was a constant reminder of your helplessness, and the fact that you couldn't fight back killed you inside.

Collared, drugged, and experimented on like some kind of helpless animal, it seemed like there was no end to the torment. They groped and touched you in ways you didn't want, and it was clear they had no regard for your consent or well-being. The very sight of your discomfort brought them pleasure, and they made sure you knew it every step of the way. Their methods were devised and precise; deeply psychological torment designed to break your spirit and make you feel utterly powerless.

As much as you hated it, it worked.

Their methods proved to be highly effective, gradually wearing you down over time. You could feel yourself slowly succumbing to their demands, submitting to what they wanted from you. Perhaps it was a defense mechanism that your brain instinctively resorted to in order to cope with the relentless torture and abuse. After enduring for such a long period, you found that you had no fight left within you, completely drained of the will to resist.

Red alarms blared loudly, their piercing sound cutting through the silence and yanking you from a rare slumber. Startled, you blinked awake, though your vision was slightly corrupted by the bruises and swollen skin, especially around your dominant eye, which throbbed painfully.

Groggily, your head rose from the cold, hard floor, confusion flooding your mind as you tried to process your surroundings. The distant sounds of fighting drifted to your ears from the direction of your cell, adding to the disorientation and making you wonder what the hell was happening beyond the confines of your small, dimly-lit prison.

You felt your body flinch violently as something large and heavy slammed into the room where the cells were located. The sudden noise echoed through the small, confined space, sending a chill down your spine. Instinctively, you crawled into the nearest corner and curled up there, trying to make yourself as small and inconspicuous as possible.

You had learned from experience that the precious visits from the men were less painful if you were already huddled against the wall, minimizing the areas they could hit with their fists or batons. The cold, hard surface of the wall offered a strange sense of comfort, even as fear and uncertainty gnawed at you.

The the heavy, metallic sound of your cell door creaking open, and instinctively, your entire body tensed up, bracing for yet another brutal attack from the armed men who derived joy from taunting and tormenting you. You prepared yourself for the rough hands and the mocking jeers that usually followed. But this time, instead of the expected harsh touches and cruel laughter, you were met with something entirely different—a voice you hadn't expected to hear again.

"Liebe..." the voice whispered weakly, the word hanging in the air like a fragile thread of hope. Puzzled and intrigued, you slowly pulled your head out from its tucked, defensive position and glanced toward the source of the unexpected whisper. The sight that met your eyes made you freeze.

Kurt stood in shock, his eyes glued to your fragile, timid form curled on the floor. The scene overwhelmed him, causing his breath to hitch in his throat. He slowly knelt down, every movement deliberate as if sudden actions might shatter the fragile peace. His hands, steady yet trembling with restrained emotion, gently set his swords on the floor with a quiet clink that echoed in the silence. "Liebe...y/n..." he rasped quietly, his voice a soft whisper, trying his best to sound calm and composed despite the complete internal storm of rage and anguish brewing within him.

His heart ached with as he reached out, his fingers hovering just above your form, not wanting to startle you further. You stared with uncertainty, your body naturally flinching away, so used to a heavy hand and harsh touches that left you in anguish. For some reason, your brain couldn't differentiate between your lover and the men who had been torturing you.

"I-It's me, Kurt..." he said with a pained strain, his voice cracking as if it hurt to speak, "It's okay...I'm here now." He muttered, his hand gently touching your bruised body, his fingers trembling slightly as if afraid to cause you more pain. You made a quiet whine, a soft sound that conveyed both your relief and your lingering fear. Looking at him and realizing that he had come to you, that he was truly here, you felt a wave of emotion wash over you.

He was here, and you were safe.

The room around you seemed to blur as the significance of his presence settled in, the promise of protection and care easing the tension consuming you. A cry escaped your throat and you fell into him, his arms instantly wrapped around your body, his tail following suit. "Shh, sh...Es ist okay, ich bin jetzt hier." he whispered, trying his best to soothe you while your cheeks dampened with tears.

He held you tightly and let you cry, feeling the tremors of your sobs against his chest. He could hear the terror and desperation in your muffled wails, each one a heartbreaking testament to your pain. Your arms and hands gripped him, but your hold was weak, your strength sapped by the inhumane treatment you endured. You were in dire need of medical attention, evident from your pale complexion and labored breathing. Despite this, he didn't want to let go yet; he wanted to keep you in his arms, so afraid to let go and lose you again.

"You're safe now, liebling," he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. "Oh... I was so scared... so terribly scared I might not reach you in time." His heart ached with the memory of the fear and helplessness he had felt, and he vowed never to let you out of his sight again.

"Let's go...hold on..." he said, gripping you tightly as his tail moved and wrapped securely around his swords. With a swift motion, he teleported you to the jet. The floor beneath you was hard and unyielding, but the environment around you was far more welcoming and comforting than the cold, harsh cell that had been stained with your own blood.

He leaned back to grab something, his arms unwrapping from your body, but your grip grew stronger on him. "No...no, don't go," you were desperate for him, so terrified of his absence, your mind was in pieces, the aftermath of the torture you went through on full display as you became more and more attached to his presence. Needing him like he were the only thing keeping you from drowning in the thrashing waters that plagued your thoughts.

"I'm not going anywhere, schatz... I am just getting a blanket for you," Kurt soothed reassuringly. His tail, nimble and gentle, reached out to grab the blanket so his arms could remain wrapped securely around you, providing a sense of comfort and stability that you desperately needed. He carefully grabbed the soft blanket and draped it over you, making sure you were warm, and continued to hold you close against his body in a protective embrace.

The presence of the other X-Men in the jet went by unnoticed by you, They started up the jet and began the flight back towards the mansion where you could be properly treated. Right now, your only focus was on Kurt, his presence and touch being the only things grounding you in that moment of anxiety.

As you finally began to give in to the much-needed sleep your body was desperate for, your eyes caught a glimpse of the swords Kurt had carried with him into the facility. Their brilliant, silver shine was now dulled with the stains of crimson, splattered and smeared across the once pristine blades, telling a silent tale of what transpired before he found you. You blinked, trying to focus more on them, but his tail pushed them out of view, obscuring the unsettling sight.

Kurt didn't want you to witness the sheer carnage he had wrought, as he was completely blinded by a bitter and relentless rage that consumed him entirely. In his fury, he slaughtered so many men that he lost count, not even realizing the extent of his actions. All he could think about was wanting you back in his arms, where you would be safe and protected from the horrors that had befallen you. His blades were stained with the hateful blood of those men who had caused you so much harm, and he felt a twisted sense of satisfaction, even though deep down he knew it was wrong.

But he didn't care about the morality of his actions, not now at least. Seeing you so badly hurt had ignited a fire within him, a burning guilt that was only somewhat lifted by the vengeance he exacted. His mind was clouded, but in the chaos, all he wanted was get you home safe where you could be treated. None of the other X-Men dared say a word to him about what happened, by the time they arrived to help Kurt had already went through the men with ease, his blind rage driving him to kill to get to you.

He carefully adjusted his hold, making sure that you could lay your head more comfortably against him. He wanted to ensure that you couldn't see the gleaming blades. His expression was a complex mixture of trouble and deep worry, reflecting the weight of the situation and his concern for your well-being. Leaning closer, he whispered softly, "Rest, liebe... we will get you fixed up soon. Just hold on a little longer..."

You couldn't argue with him now. Your body was in need of rest and you finally felt safe enough to fall asleep. It was such a relief to sleep without worrying about someone coming in and hurting you. You closed your eyes as he held you tight, whispering sweet nothings to you as you slowly allowed your body to fall into a deep slumber. All you knew now was that you had a long recovery ahead of you, and he would be by your side the entire time.

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

dividers by @/adornedwithlight and @/strangergraphics

Tag List: @southside-otaku

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for "using" a cucumber and putting it back in the fridge?

(🥒👌 to find later)

Please, I know it sounds nuts but hear me out. I feel awful and I need to know just how bad this is. Also, I intentionally left as much as possible vague as I am a minor and I do not want this to get removed for being too explicit. But the story will not make sense if I don't include certain things, please understand.

So I (16M) grew up in and currently still live in the bible belt, with extremely conservative evangelical parents. As a taste of what it's like, we have church 3 times a week, and church camp every summer. We are only allowed to access Netflix through a stupid content filter app and we can only use a restricted smart phone that is regularly checked at random by our parents. We get an hour and a half of computer usage every other day, and the internet on the computer is heavily filtered also. The only reason I have access to Tumblr and am able to post this now is because my best friend's older brother gave me his old android for my birthday a few years ago. His family is much more open minded, and I'm very close with them. I also think they have always felt a little bad for me with my family being the way they are.

I'm also gay. Obviously, my family does not know, and I intend to keep it that way. I won't go too deep into it, but it will suffice to say I struggled a lot when I was younger over this. The good thing is that in the last few years, I've been able to accept myself more and come to terms with what my own feelings about religion and faith really are. I came out to my best friend and his brother a little over a year ago, and they've been very supportive. I have yet to tell any of my other friends.

Recently, I've been trying out alcohol since my friends found a hookup. Something I have discovered is that I tend to get lewd feelings when I drink, which has nearly caused a few embarrassing moments around friends. Coincidentally, I have also been experimenting with... certain things. Being a minor, I obviously can't enter any of the adult stores around me, nor would I feel comfortable asking any of my friends to drive me there if I could. I also can't order anything online because my bank account is connected to my parents, and I don't have a shipping address I'm comfortable using for those items either. So instead, I use household objects that belong to me and can be sanitized easily. You might see where this is going.

Yesterday evening, I came home from best friend's house with a full bottle of wine in my backpack. We and a few other friends had already been sipping on a few beers that afternoon, and I still felt a little buzzed. After my family went to sleep, despite already having a little alcohol in my system, I proceeded to get wasted on this bottle of wine in my room. I don't have the clearest memory of all of this, but at some point, I got hungry and lewd-feeling. Went into the kitchen and, through some kind of thought process I can only imagine now, came back into my room with a cucumber. From the title of the post, you can hazard a guess as to what happened to this cucumber. Once I was done, I drukedly and quickly washed it in the bathroom sink and threw it back into the fridge. I went to sleep.

I started freaking out as soon as I woke up this morning. There were four cucumbers in the fridge, I was pretty positive at least two were going to be used for dinner tonight, and I had no idea which cucumber I did the deed with. To make matters worse, my mom was inviting the pastor of our church and his family over for dinner. I have practically no money currently, no license or vehicle, and no friends with vehicles free to pick up new cucumbers for me (and no reasonable explanation as to why I needed them to spot me for four cucumbers specifically). I also have no believable reason to give for why we shouldn't have cucumbers added in the salad mix. My mom knows I love them, and they haven't gone bad. Can't say I ate them because who the hell eats four raw cucumbers? And she'll interrogate both my brother and I until she gets a satisfying answer if I just throw them out. I didn't know what the hell to do about this and I was close to having a panic attack, so... I took a nap.

Evening came. Guests came over, dinner happened. We had porkchops with macaroni and side salads. Cucumbers were in the salad, and I along with pastor's family and my own, ate it like nothing was wrong. My parents, the pastor and his wife had an engaging conversation about politics, religion, and some mild church gossip after dinner. My little brother continued to read his book, and I had a very awkward and one-sided conversation about Young Sheldon with the pastor's daughter. Then they left. And I went to my room to mentally implode.

To say I'm horrified is a major understatement. I don't think anyone is going to get sick because I scrubbed all of the cucumbers with soap multiple times and cleaned the vegetable drawer with bleach when I woke up this morning. I guess I also don't know that the violated cucumber was one of the ones that was used for dinner tonight, but then it's only a matter of days until we have salad again, or if mom cuts one up for water. I've rattled my brain for any way I could get some new cucumbers without telling anyone the details of the event, but I have nothing. Don't even have the money, anyway. Gave up the last bit of cash I had for the damn wine yesterday, and I have $0.43 in total on my debit card.

Admittedly, there is a very small part of me that doesn't even really care if they have eaten or end up eating the damn thing. I can't stand my family. My parents are invasive, controlling and neurotic, and don't give a shit about how I'm doing in so far as it pertains to god and the church. I'm a little more sympathetic to my brother as he's been stuck in this hell with me, but at 13 he's already begun to regurgitate way more religious dogma than I ever did at his age. And I know for a fact that they would want nothing to do with me if they found out I was gay. They'd probably kick me out on the street and spit on me if I had to guess. But even still, this is only a small part of how I feel. What I did was still so gross, and no amount of animosity I have for them can change how mortifed I am. I do have at least a semblance of a conscience.

So...AITA for all of this? WIBTA if I did nothing about the other two cucumbers? Please help.

[bruisedboys]

over the influence — remus lupin x reader

summary: remus lupin is not your boyfriend, but he sure knows how to act like he is.

contains: friends to lovers, friends trying really hard to be lovers, fluff, mutual pining, lovesick oblivious remus, drunk!reader, modern!au, rugby!james cw implied fem!reader, reader wears a skirt, alcohol consumption.

note: um welcome to my first ever remus fic!? if I’m being honest I have no idea if it’s good but I’m posting it anyway yolo

fem!reader 2.9k words

You’re plastered when Remus finds you. Absolutely hammered.

He can tell because you’re giggling madly at one of Sirius’s jokes, which you never do, because Sirius’s jokes are awful and you thankfully have a good sense of humour. But, you’re a giggly drunk, who finds just about anything anyone says absolutely hilarious. It’s adorable, usually. But right now, it’s blowing Sirius’s ego out of the water.

Remus dives in to save you as Sirius roars with laughter at his own joke.

“Dove,” he says, clasping your shoulder. You’re slumped into the sofa, your head lolling against the cushions. “There you are.”

You twist to look who it is, your face all scrunched up as you take him in. You blink very slowly. Then, just as slow, your face lights up.

“Remus!” You gasp happily. “Hi, baby. I was wondering where you went!”

Baby. Remus’s face burns and his heart does a triple backflip. You’re drunk, he reasons. Super drunk.

“Are you okay?” He asks you, bending at the waist so you can hear him better. It’s loud, the music and the people and Sirius, especially.

“I’m perfect,” you say, words all slurry and sticky and ending in a sort of ditzy hiccup.

Well, you’re not wrong about that. Remus takes the seat next to you and your droopy eyes follow him down.

“How much have you had to drink?” Remus asks, trying for curious but coming out a bit concerned. “What did you even drink?”

You shrug and hiccup again. “I don’t know.” Your shoulders drop and so do your lips, a sort of confused frown washing over your features. “Sirius made me some weird concoction … it was kinda gross, Rem.” You look at Remus very seriously, your eyelids low. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

Remus laughs and pretends to zip his lips. “Your secret’s safe with me, babe.”

Chances are it’s not, and Remus will mock Sirius about it endlessly. Not tonight, though. Tonight he’s mainly focused on making sure you don’t touch another cup of anything other than water.

You’re giggling again, though Remus isn’t sure what at. You’re just gazing at him and giggling your head off like a maniac.

“What’s so funny, pretty?” He asks fondly, a grin tugging at his lips. He knows you don’t have a chance of remembering any of this by tomorrow morning. Hence the pet names.

You stop laughing abruptly. It’s alarming and then not, because your big grin stays put. You lean in close, your chest pressing into his side. Remus smells all your smells, your perfume and your hairspray and the mystery drink you’ve definitely had too much of.

“You’re pretty,” you say, completely ignoring his question.

Remus flushes. You’re never this forward. It’s driving him nuts, the way you’re looking at him. How close you are. The way your scents wash over him and make him feel almost as drunk as you are.

“Whatever you say,” he says, brushing off your compliment because what the hell is he supposed to say to that? “I think you need some water.”

Remus gets up but you catch his wrist before he’s fully standing, your soft fingers pressing into his skin.

“Wait, don’t leave!” You sound desperate and you look the part, too. Your pretty eyes are blown wide as saucers.

Remus falters. “I’ll be five seconds, dove. M’just getting you a glass of water.”

You pout in such a way that makes Remus want to kiss you silly. “Take me with you, then?”

Remus finds he physically cannot say no to that look. He hauls you up by the forearm and you cling happily to his arm. Remus makes his way to the kitchen with you attached to his arm like a barnacle, your fingers pressing into the crook of his elbow, your thigh brushing his as you walk far too close to him. It’s dizzying, and Remus is surprised he’s managing to walk in a straight line.

In the kitchen, it’s much quieter but you’re not any less drunk. You detach yourself from Remus and skip over to the kitchen island. Before Remus can stop you you’re hauling yourself up onto the bench, so unsteady on your feet that you almost topple right off. Remus catches you by the elbow just before disaster strikes.

“Oops,” you giggle, breathless and totally out of your mind. “Sorry.”

Remus’s heart stops racing with worry and instead races with infatuation with you. Even in your drunken state.

“S’fine,” he says kindly, patiently, because you’re too sweet for your own good. You almost went toppling to your demise and you’re apologizing. “Just be careful. Please.”

You nod and sit pretty while Remus retrieves a glass and fills it with cold water from the fridge. When he turns back you’re making grabby hands for the glass. Remus looks at you, your wobbly state and your clumsy hands, and holds the condensation-ridden glass closer to his chest.

You pout and drop your arms. “Remus.”

“You’ll drop it, honey,” he says, as kindly as he can without sounding like he’s babying you. He is babying you, actually. Not that he’s gonna tell you that. “Let me.”

You let him. He brings one hand to rest at the small of your back, his fingers brushing the strip of skin just shy of your skirt’s waistband. He tries not to think about it as he brings the glass to your lips.

You drink like you’ve been stuck in a desert for six days, gulping like your life depends on it. Remus is grinning fondly until you finish and dip your head backwards. Your neck is bared to the kitchen lights and your chest is heaving dramatically, and Remus feels so lightheaded he actually has to grab the counter.

You notice, because of course you do, even in your tipsy state. You frown and put your hand on Remus’s where it’s gripping the counter for dear life.

“Remus? Are you okay?”

Remus blinks rapidly, hitches a grin onto his face. “I’m fine,” he says, fake grin at work. “Do you want more water?”

You think about it for a second. Then you look at Remus like you’re about to deliver the worst news of his life. “I need to pee,” you say solemnly.

Remus almost laughs. Almost. “Well, c’mon then.” He sets your empty glass down and grabs your forearm. “I’ll get one of the girls to take you.”

“No!” You say desperately. You throw your arms around Remus’s neck and tug him into you, and Remus is so startled he doesn’t have time to think about how close you are. You push your face into his neck. “No,” you say again, quieter this time. “I don’t want them to look after me. I want you.”

Your closeness catches up with Remus in a rush of heat all over his body. Your thighs press into his sides and your arms are like a vice around his neck. His heart thrums and his chest burns and it takes him a while to figure out what he’s saying.

“Dove,” he says gently. He pries himself off of you, albeit reluctantly, and puts his hands over your biceps, squeezing lightly. “I can’t take you to the bathroom.”

You frown. “Why not?”

Remus stutters. “Well, because. I’m- I’m not—”

“Please?” You beg, looking awfully cute when you clasp your hands together between yours and Remus’s chests. “You can just stand outside the door and wait. I’ll be fine.”

Half of Remus thinks it’s a bad idea, you might trip on your own feet and whack your head on the bathtub. The other half of him can’t ever say no to you, not even when what you’re proposing is totally dangerous and an awful idea. He’s not exactly proud of himself when he nods.

“Yeah, alright then,” he says, and you beam. “Come on.”

Remus ends up looking after you for the remainder of the night, you’re so drunk. He drives you home not long after your bathroom break. Sobers you up with some tea which you barely touch, and more cold water which you skull like you’ve been deprived of it for days.

He deposits you in your bed and you’re already half asleep by the time he does it, but you manage a sleepy, “Thank you,” that’s so sweet Remus feels his chest ache. He leaves you fast asleep in the comfort of your bed, ignores the urge to crash on your couch, and double checks he’s locked your doors on the way out.

Not that anyone’s asking, but he’s maybe just had the best night of his life.

-

Remus gets a call from you the next day and his heart skips. He thinks, stupidly, that maybe you’ve decided you hate him after last night. He picks it up anyway, because he misses you.

“Remus,” you say, as soon as the phone’s on his ear. You sound somewhat anguished. “Was I awful last night?”

He laughs, surprised. “What?”

“Was I awful to look after?” You ask like it’s obvious. “I barely remember anything. James said I was clinging to you for half the night.” You’re moaning like it’s a bad thing. For Remus it wasn’t. “And I’m sure I said some weird shit, I was so loopy off that stupid drink Siri gave me. I—”

Remus saves you before you fall into a self-deprecating waffle.

“Y/N,” he interrupts your rambling. “What’s gotten into you, dove? You were fine. It was fine.” I like looking after you, he doesn’t say.

“But—”

“You’re being ridiculous.” Remus tries not to laugh because you are being ridiculous, but you also really do sound quite worked up about it. “It’s fine. I wasn’t about to leave you to the crows.”

You giggle, thankfully. When you speak again you sound much happier. “‘The crows’ as in Sirius?”

Remus snorts. “Yeah. The crows as in Sirius. I think I’ll have a word with him about the drinks he passes around.”

You huff, and Remus can picture your pout. “Please do. I’m never drinking with him again.”

Remus laughs, a mixture of amusement and fondness and agreement. You’re much more yourself this morning, perky and a little dramatic and a bit of an over-thinker. Though admittedly, Remus didn’t mind loopy you last night.

“Are you going to James’s game tonight?” You ask, a smile evident in your voice.

Remus snaps out of his lovelorness long enough to reply, “Are you?”

“Yeah, why?”

“‘Cos I’m only going if you’re going.”

You laugh loud and the heat in Remus’s cheeks only grows. He loves making you laugh more than he’d like to admit.

“That’s mean, Remus,” you scold, with less heat than a block of ice. “Don’t you want to support your friend?”

“Friend isn’t really the right word,” Remus jokes. He’s happy to make you laugh at James’s expense. He’s sure James can take it.

You laugh again, and Remus knows you know he means it jokingly.

You’re still giggling when you talk again, breathless and adorable. “Alright, well. Would you mind picking me up?”

Remus agrees far too quickly to be normal, with far too much eagerness. He gets off the phone after agreeing on a time to pick you up, and knows he’s a total goner.

-

Remus isn’t your boyfriend. He’s your friend. And yet here you are, sitting very close to him in the stadium stands while you watch James’s rugby game. Only last night, he’d looked after you and driven you home when you got too tipsy. He’d also, at your request, given you a ride here, telling you all the while that you were the only reason he’s coming to the game at all. So maybe he’s closer to being your boyfriend than you think.

You watch James score a try and your row of seats erupts into cheers, Lily’s the loudest. The big screen above the field shows the camera panning to a close up of James. He whoops and pounds his fists in the air and blows a big smacking kiss in the general direction of your group of friends.

“He’s such a show off,” Remus drawls into your ear. You can hear him smiling.

You giggle and twist in your seat so you can look at him. He looks extraordinarily pretty tonight, in dark brown pants and a forest green t-shirt, his dark hair (in need of a cut) windswept and going in every direction possible. You want to kiss him so bad your chest burns. On the way here, he’d had his hand on your thigh for half the drive and you didn’t say a word the entire time. You think maybe you’re unhealthily obsessed with him.

“What?” Remus asks curiously, lips parted, and you realise you’ve been staring too long.

Heat washes over your cheeks. “Nothing,” you say as nonchalantly as you can.

“Have I got something on my face? You’re staring at me like I’ve grown two heads.”

The way he says it is like he knows exactly why you were staring at him. Desperate for an escape, you stand before you even know what you’re doing.

“I’m going to get more popcorn,” you declare to your friends in general. You purposefully avoid looking at Remus, afraid you’ll keel over and die. “Anyone want more?”

You get a few yes’s and one “I’m coming,” from Remus, which completely ruins the point. You’d tell him so but that would mean admitting you’re sickeningly obsessed with him. You allow him to tag along.

Sirius gives you a look as you leave with Remus, eyebrows raised like he knows exactly how much you like his friend. You’re sure he does. He doesn’t miss much, that boy. And he’s been giving you looks ever since you arrived. You flip him off behind Remus’s back.

Once at the popcorn stand, Remus insists on paying. It’s irritating, really, how sweet he is.

“Remus,” you groan, swatting his wallet away. “I can pay for myself.”

“I know you can, dove,” he says. “I’m just trying to be nice.”

And he gives you a smile so staggering that you let him pay for the popcorn. You’re still grumbling about it on the way back to your seats.

“You’re too nice,” you tell him, plonking down in your seat with a frown. “Stop being so nice, I’m sick of it.”

Remus laughs, really laughs, the kind that has you fighting a smile even though you’re annoyed at him. He’s got a lovely laugh.

“Sorry,” he says, sounding the opposite. He’s got a smarmy grin on his mouth, all teeth. You’d pummel him if he wasn’t so pretty. “Do you want me to be mean instead?”

You glare. “You’re mean to everyone else,” you say, which is entirely true and you both know it. He wouldn’t look after a drunk Sirius like he did you if his life depended on it.

To your surprise, Remus flushes. “Well, I—“

He’s interrupted by a yell of his name from Sirius, and then you realise they’re all calling your name, too. Shouts of “Remus!” and “Y/N!” and “Look!”

You twist in your seat, confused.

“What—?”

And then you see it. The kiss cam is on the big screen, colours and words blazing. And just your luck, it’s your face blown up ten times as big on the screen, your eyes wide and your lips parted as you stare back at yourself, caught mid-sentence. You think maybe you’re dreaming, because right next to your face is Remus’s. He’s just as shocked as you.

You turn to look at the real Remus, just as he turns to look at you. Your friends are having a field day, shouting, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

You ignore them.

“I …” You’re not sure what to say, your mouth filling with nothing but silence. You want badly to kiss him. You’ve always wanted to kiss him, and you think everyone but Remus knows it.

“We don’t have to,” he says quickly, mistaking your silence for unwillingness. “It’s just a stupid kiss cam.”

But you do have to, because he’s Remus, and maybe this stupid kiss cam is the only chance you’re ever gonna get. You swallow the nerves that are building up in your throat and ignore the fact that Sirius is practically screaming at the two of you from three seats down.

“I want to,” you say quietly, too quietly, and Remus doesn’t hear you over the hubbub. So you try again. “I want to.”

Remus goes very still, his lips parted and his chest heaving. Suddenly it feels like it’s just the two of you. He stares at you like you’re made of gold and your heart does somersaults.

Then he smiles. “Me too.”

He brings his hand to your jaw and you barely have time to bask in his touch before he’s kissing you. Really kissing you. He tastes like butter and sugar and he smells exactly like he always does. His hands are soft but sure where they cup your face and your chest is on fire, your heart is punching and kicking and you worry you might pass out in his arms you’re so giddy.

Your friends are screaming bloody murder, Sirius the worst of them all, and you’re sure the kiss cam has probably panned away from you by now but you can’t stop kissing him. You kiss him and kiss him and kiss him until you can’t breathe anymore. You’d go on forever but you’re losing breath and you really do think you’re lightheaded now.

You pull away before you pass out from lack of oxygen. Remus looks as frazzled as you feel, pink in the cheeks and his lips all swollen and his eyes are bright and burning and holy shit, you just want to kiss him again.

You almost do, but then Sirius and Frank and Lily appear and clap your backs, shout words you can barely hear and Sirius is so happy he looks like he might burst into tears. You laugh, half-delirious and sick as a dog in love with Remus, and somehow your hands end up tangled with his in his lap and your thigh is crushing his and he’s looking at you like he wants to kiss you again.

Lucky you, he does kiss you again. And many more times after that, no kiss cam needed.

thank you for reading! feedback & reblogs are appreciated 🤍

[shinjisdone]

When you have an Secret Admirer - and it's not them (Pomefiore; 5)

A love letter was left at your door and now you are searching for that ‘secret admirer’ - everyone wants to help you out…but have their own reason for it.

'I've kept writing you about the things that you did that enchanted me...but without wanting to sound cliché, I also fell for your beauty...'

form of headcanons + scenario-ish

[note: reader is gender-neutral but mostly mentioned in 2. pov; a series of everyone you meet following you. headcanon will follow each char. own thoughts on the situation. mostly nervousness, slight jealousy & stubbornness]

Part 1: Heartslabyul

Part 2: Savanaclaw

Part 3: Octavinelle

Part 4: Scarabia

Part 6: Ignihyde

Part 7: Diasomnia

It's best if you stay in your room for a few days, you thought.

After faking feigning an injury after the...flower fruit fiasco to Crowley (and him letting out a speech of how gracious he is for allowing you to rest) you've let everyone know that you needed quiet. And. Silence. Even Grim left you alone.

It was calming in a way. Just you and your thoughts, as well as the four love letters lying on the desk. Until a little ring caught your attention and you opened up a message on your phone.

Letting the image sink in it was a photo of a frustrated Vil with his make-up smudged.

'guy is taking the piss hahah' - Epel wrote you.

'What's in front of him?'

You couldn't help it. The curiousity took the best of you, especially when the Vil Schönheit looked this laughably angry.

'someone won a magic mirror on an auction and its messin with everyone. says it shows everyones real beauty when looked at but it shows nothin when we stare at it. no reflec tion and its makin Vil angrier than squirrel with a nut that dont crack lololol'

The boy sent you another image and it was of Rook trying to calm Vil down, who attempted to get the mirror out of the dorm. It made you chortle.

'lol why care about some phony mirror when Pomefiore is filled with real ones'

'I can update u (Name) if you want. Funniest thing that happens in this dully stuck up place'

Epel's comment made you smile. Even when he can get a bit temperamental, which you can't blame him for since he has to live with Vil, the boy does try to cheer you up. He must have heard of everything by now and even if he didn't, Deuce probably told him of your mood. It was sweet of him.

'Sure, might be fun to watch'.

Perhaps you shouldn't have answered like that.

Epel Felmier

Epel is no idiot.

He's aware of how you must be feeling so he tries to be seldom with his calls and presence. If it weren't for all the things that had happened this month for him notice, then it was Deuce's unusual worried frown.

He was so...quiet. Almost looking depressed when he told Epel of the first letter. He tried with effort to explain what had happened but ended up unwittingly admitting his displeasure at the change. He seemed to miss you and you've become reversed yourself. It was a bit of a bummer.

Epel tried hard to play it cool. Although behind closed doors, he'd mumble profanities in the usual accent he'd hide. These rumors were true. Big, richy colleges are full of drama, just like his village said! Why do things gotta be so unnecessarily complicated??? It doesn't make any sense to him.

Epel wouldn't bat an eye at gestures of love and grand confessions (he feels still perplexed though) but all of this was for you. It was no happenstance like usual, no, you aren't just being involved due to coincidence - all of this is happening because of you and for you.

What are ya, a princess waitin' for a knight in yer tower??? It's just????

Less upset and more puzzled. But he wouldn't know how to deal with that either.

Nevertheless, he convinced you to leave your room for a while after school hours...just a small visit that shouldn't take too long...

Rook Hunt

Oh, la la~

This is quite exciting for him. Love letters and confessions are things ususally told in fairytales, so seeing all of this unfold in this very school is quite the entertainment and Rook wants to be seated at the number #1 spot to witness it.

It's less of a creepy reason and more one of fascination. This is a one-in-a-lifetime chance and he always loved romance! He wants to see what this secret admirer is capable of. What they are ready to do for love.

Although he feels...disadvantaged? Challenged? Is it rivalry? Jealousy or true fascination?

As a hunter himself, he should know best how to capture hearts yet he feels like a freshly-born scholar looking up to his teacher. And out of all hearts they are attempting to capture it is yours...

Love can hurt...but it isn't supposed to make you uncomfortable, no?

Ever since he heard the rumors - and especially after he found out they are true - he has kept an eye on you. Without your knowledge of course...

Is the hunter learning...or keeping his prey for himself?

Vil Schönheit

The fairest of them all is a bit distracted, you see.

Aside from this wretched mirror, the senior could barely believe that out of all people...you get love letters.

However, with Leona's sudden interest in anything really and Kalim's lack of cheerfulness, things have become odd - now having rumors be confirmed by Azul (he was a witness!), Vil must believe it.

Even Epel is more on his phone than ever...

Vil isn't...apalled by the idea of you getting attention. He is just the one who usually gets it! But none of his fans' determination compare to that of your admirer. It's strange.

...Thats what he deduces first. Then it becomes ridiculous at the realization of it! You??? Getting more attention than Vil???

Do not misunderstand, Vil is not excluding the possibility of you having a secret admirer but the amount they are doing for you even leaves him a bit stumped.

He isn't sure if he should congratulate you or give into his jealousy. Jealousy of you getting more attention or your attention being snatched away from him? He isn't quite certain of it either.

It's better to distract himself with some puny mirror than keep on pondering about it.

Discreetly making your way to Pomefiore, you swiftly passed by other students, ones who had long started to avoid you. It was believed that your presence alone even summons the secret admirer...so some would take shelter from their strange pranks by getting out of your way. Sure, there were some who showed sympathy, asking about your well-being or even joking when that admirer will finally capture your heart...or if they have already.

Admittedly, you did not feel like meeting either of these kinds of guys...thankfully Epel picked you up quickly, either using his shy mask or temperamental yells to get you out of any situation - and soon, you found yourself in front of that mirror. Just as Epel stopped snickering as he showed you more photos, his head would turn to you and back to that mirror...with a surprisingly soft stutter, he pointed to it.

"Er...it ain't a phony, after all..."

...Why were you able to see yourself?

'...The one who can see themselves here is the true beauty of this school.'

Epel Felmier

Uh, what???

Why are ya able to see yourself in every angle possible? How come the background changed to every possible scenery that suited you so perfectly? With you standing out so marvy too???

That can't be it...is that seriously one of those infamous 'pranks' of that secret admirer everyone's been prattlin' about?

...Your secret admirer?

That can't be it. The (Name) he knows couldn't...have something like that...but it's true.

As Epel watches your face bloom like a magnolia in May, he finally understood Deuce's troubles deeply. It's one thing to hear it from someone on the surface and something completely different when you feel it deep in your soul too.

The boy stood there, as his yelling on what kind of phony mirror that could be transformed into mumbles until he was completely silent. His face scrunched up into a frown.

You look real pretty. He now thinks how you've always been real fine and fair but your reflection seemed so picturesque right now...all because of the darn, stupid smile on your face that you couldn't just wipe away, no matter how hard ya tried.

Damnit...what is this feeling?! How's he gonna get rid of it?!?!

Even as he wonders how others are gonna be up on your case again, the sweet lil' apple grew sour as he also wondered how much that admirer person was making you all happy and gushy now...

Rook Hunt

And here in comes Rook.

Rather, he had been watching you enter so elegantly and now admire yourself in that fancy mirror! He knew something was up with it and spying on Epel's messages, it was only a matter of time before your lovely self would find out about it!

The young man long knew that this 'auction win' was something from the secret admirer - with how they always end up involving whole dorms in their quest to win your heart. Rook has quite the keen eye himself...

Oh, he needs to be there and witness it himself! How exciting! What kind of creative confession will pop up this time?! How will you react?! It's all just trés bien!

Less worried about the consequences that may follow his dorm and more intruiged on how this pursue of love will continue. A true fairytale!

That's what he keeps telling himself.

Rook is torn between watching a beautiful love story unfold before him and being very displeased at the fact that someone else is trying to capture your heart.

How...unfair it all seemed.

But all is fair in love and war, no?

Shall he listen and learn from the admirer? To outwit them in every way and capture your heart himself? Maybe he should show them that this is his hunt and that they shouldn't mess with him.

Regardless, he's hiding it all too well behind a smile. Even as you hide your beautiful face bashfully and Epel trying to keep himself together and not stare at the scenery in front of him too hard and not for too long...

Yes, he'll stay back, like a real hunter.

Vil Schönheit

He hears the noise downstairs and wow, speak of the devil. Or rather when he thought of the devil. You just wouldn't leave his mind.

There you are with little messages starting to pop up in the mirror you were staring at...

'I wanted to have you see all the beautiful things about you when reading my thoughts about you...so you can believe me and witness them yourself in the moment.'

Vil raises a brow as your lovely reflection was overwritten by a dainty message, curvy and in red.

'You don't know how wonderful you look with a smile. It made me fall for you.'

And on cue, a bashful smile appeared on your face.

Vil, as well as Epel and Rook, jumped as they saw the many flowery poems of love spread around your reflection. It almost rivaled Rook's grossly exeggerated compliments.

"Now, now," Vil tries to stay calm as he shushed the mirror and tried to find out what the meaning of this is and by the Sevens, don't let it be the secret admirer. No, no, no, no! He keeps on shooing this...thing away, even if it can't really move.

Or...it can?

The mirror shrunk in size and used it's little attached wings ("WEREN'T THOSE DECORATIONS" - Everybody thinks) to gracefully flutter after you.

Is this some kIND OF TWISTED JOKE

FIRST THE ALCHEMY NOTES, THEN THE MAGIC FLOWERS AND NOW A FLYING MIRROR THROWING POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS AT YOU

This secret admirer must be some kind of prodigy...

Does Vil not even stand a chance...?

He's confused and irritated. Not ever did he think things would come to this but seeing how someone actually has eyes for his numbre #1 potato sends the senior into slight panic.

This isn't like him.

But the turmoil in his heart is all so real and vivid...as is his determination to not let you be swooned over by anyone but him.

[yeah, I kinda feel like the vibe got from 'tralala oh a secret admirer? classic at a school like this how cute :)' to 'WHO TF...!? WHY U HAVING CRUSH ON MY CRUSH STOP IT' Hopefully this one is just as good as the other ones...dont feel like it does. You see, Vinland Saga...might have a chokehold on me :) ]

[If you get the 'IS THIS SOME KIND OF TWISTED JOKE' joke then u r really cool :) The fluttering, positive affirmation mirror just popped up as I wrote...and I had more ideas for Rook than anyone else. Would feel like Vil would be even worse with that what he had with Neige...even after his overblot, he just gives these vibes. Epel is just...r u kidding me. how am i supposed to be okay with that]

[ayanominitrash]

Act Cool, Senpai! (Geto Suguru x reader)

₊˚ ♡

Geto-san takes a liking to his cute kouhai, but gets relentlessly cockblocked by an oblivious comrade.

⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

3rd Entry. First part here. Fourth part here. Masterlist. Or can be read alone if you’re cool like that.

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

The walk to the classroom that one morning, though it was short, certainly made you and Geto closer. 

It was evident in the way you’d stop at the classroom and chat with him as you waited for Shoko to collect her things to leave for both of your next classes. Your talks with your senpai were relatively just small talk, or discussions about that book about curses the Juniors take, the subject that Geto particularly liked when he was still taking that class, coincidentally. Sometimes, it’d be just about the weather. Sometimes, it would be Gojo trying to butt in the two of you and talk about Digimon. 

The white-haired senpai of yours sneers at you when you tell him you're not that familiar with it.

No matter how trivial or empty your talks with your friendlier senpai are, you always cherished them (you’re still trying to warm up to Gojo-san though). You especially kept close to your heart that day in the hallways when he walked you to your next class.

“I heard you can do Reverse Cursed Technique. I think that’s really cool.” He tells you, a soft look on his face as he flits his dark eyes down to your height. 

You look away as you feel little butterflies go nuts in your belly. “Ah - y-yes! I know that it’s a rare technique. And before you ask, I can’t exactly put into words how to use it, much like Shoko-san.”

“Hmm, I see. I remember when Shoko tried to explain it to us - her explanation didn’t make any sense but still called us talentless anyway.”

You try to hold back a chuckle behind your hand, “ That does sound like senpai.”

“I’d like to hear you try and explain it though - of what your interpretation is.”

“Ah - haha, I’m not really sure, Geto-san. I think, if you um, focus your, um, curse e-energy and, um…” Flailing your hands while trying to find your words, you almost trip on your own two feet as you walk.

Almost immediately, Geto wraps a hand around your left wrist and the other around your shoulders, stopping your fall. He chuckles at you, still not letting go.

“It’s okay,” He finally says. “I appreciate you trying to express yourself, but you gotta be careful now, you’re a rare gem so we can’t afford you getting hurt.”

A rare gem, you screamed in your head. Geto-san thinks I’m a rare gem.

You look up at him with a sheepish smile, thanking him for helping you. When he’s sure you’re standing upright now, he departs from you, making you miss his warmth and comfort already, and you’re practically blushing at how big his hands and how broad his shoulders are against your smaller self. 

Dear god, please don’t let me faint.

Geto rubs the back of his neck when the both of you round a corner, your destination at the end of the hallway. He doesn’t want to get you in trouble but he does want to talk to you more. So he asks you a question, hoping you’d consider staying with him for a few minutes. “Since you’re close with Shoko and I get to see you every day, I think it’s only right that I get to know about you more. What made you want to be a Jujutsu sorcerer? If it’s alright to ask.”

He doesn’t miss the way you subtly wince at the question. Did he just make a mistake in mentioning what might be a sore subject for you?

“You don’t have to - “

“I want to get to know you more too, Geto-san.” You continue speaking, missing the way your senpai completely freezes beside you. “My story isn’t all that interesting, but I’d love to share it with you at a more uh, less time-constricted, ehr, time. Haha. How about we talk about it more over ice cream? Should we swap numbers so we can inform one another when we’re free?”

You know you’re pushing your luck too far, why would your senior, campus crush, and the 2nd strongest of this generation, want to swap numbers with you? Sure, he said that he’d want to get to know you more, but probably just as friends, as a kouhai, or at the very least, he was just being polite and never really meant it. Your mind repeats this thought all the while Geto is still reeling on what you’re saying.

Meanwhile, Geto thinks you’re braver than him despite your stuttering mess. He didn’t know what he hoped to achieve when we offered to walk you to class. He just wanted the opportunity to learn more about you, talk to you, and keep receiving your cute and sweet smiles. He didn’t think he’d get your number after that. 

You, on the other hand, think you might come by as quite thick-skinned if anyone else would’ve heard you. You don’t care. After all, when will you get this opportunity again?

Geto finally smiles, pulling out his phone, “Of course, I’d like that.”

You feel your shoulders relax at this.

₊˚ ♡

Geto was the first one to text you. He wanted to at least match your braveness in asking for his number and reciprocate it with texting first. Although the both of you haven’t really had the time to go for an ice cream date - ice cream date? Or whatever it is, he’s happy that at least he’d get to interact with you more outside of third period. 

10:04 PM I'm curious what book you guys are reading around this time. 10:10 PM Who’s this? 10:11 PM Guess ツ 

The rest was history.

Well, not really history, he’s very much now in the present, seated and shaking his leg as a result of his anxiety and from the cold as he waits outside of the school campus at 4 am. Today is an important day - a wide range of missions down at the Yokohama arena where multiple sightings of low-level cursed spirits have been reported. Naturally, it would be nothing but a piece of cake for him and Gojo, but seeing how wide the coverage area is and with the limited time they have before the next event to be held at the arena, they will need the help of their juniors.

The heavens would eventually answer his prayers about you coming with them on the mission.

Geto is dedicated to being a sorcerer, and he takes his studies, training, and missions seriously. But he’d have to admit that he’s looking forward to prolonging the mission if it’d mean he’d have more time teaming up with you instead of exorcising curses individually. 

It’d be fine, right? 

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Gojo snuggled deeper on his right side, both of them shaking from the cold together

“Making us wait out in this cold should be abuse,” His taller classmate complains in between his chattering teeth. “Who even wakes up at this hour?” 

“Shoko must be all warm and still sleeping in. Must be nice.” He curls his scarf tighter around his neck and pulls it higher to cover his now reddening nose.

“Yeah, that could’ve still been me too if you’d just let me sleep in for a few more minutes! Look where your punctuality got us, we’re the first ones here!” 

Geto was about to retort when you and your classmates finally strolled in from around the corner, a sign of life.

“Good morning, our seniors!” The brunette, Haibara, bows, followed by you and Nanami. “We’re sorry we’re late.”

Nanami clicks his tongue as the three of you approach them, “The managers aren’t even here yet.” “That’s why you juniors being late won’t be forgiven with just an apology!” Gojo shouted between his shivers, cold air coming out of his lips. “You should do 50 jump squats with your hands holding your ears!”

“Ignore him.” Geto smiles. “How are the three of you?”

While Gojo pouts beside Geto, Haibara enthusiastically takes the seat next to him, “It’s been a while since we last talked, Geto-san! Me and Nanami had been taking missions non-stop.”

“While this one here has been more frequently joining us, which I still think is a bad idea. Maybe you can talk some sense into her, Geto-san.” Nanami says, sideyeing you.

You lightly punch his shoulder, much to his annoyance. “Nanami, you’re so quick to throw me to the wolves.”

Geto raises his brows, finally having an excuse to talk to you directly. “ Is that so? How is that approved by your sensei and the higher-ups? I’m sure they’d treat you just like Shoko - the both of you need to be protected.”

“Well, they’re not exactly always approved - but I want to be able to defend myself if I want to be an on-the-field healer. Especially when Nanami and Haibara go on missions that are much farther from Jujutsu High - I’d want to be able to go with them in case they get injured.”

The raven-head only smiles up at you, silently admiring how you’re nice to look out for your classmates. Suddenly, Gojo grumbles, “But you’d just hold them back.”

“Sorry?” You ask, raising an eyebrow.

“I said you’d just hold them back. They’d got to be distracted every time you joined them on their missions. Right, Nanami?” 

The blond teen doesn’t reply, only averting his eyes when you look up at him. Haibara gives you a nervous look.

“Satoru.” Geto lightly elbows his side.

“Erm, anyway,” The brunette starts, “We all must be cold! How about some warm drinks?”  Gojo pipes, completely ignoring how you’re glaring at him. “Warm cocoa for me, 3 sugar cubes.”

“I’ll go come with.” You tell your classmate.

Much to your surprise, Geto-san rises along with Haibara. “It’s okay, I can buy the drinks instead with - “ He was interrupted when your classmate put a hand on his shoulder, shoving him back down from where he was seated.

“Nonesense, Geto-san! Your kouhais got it from here!”

“No - I insist, I’d be good to stretch my legs since we’ve been - “

“We got it, Geto-san! We’ll be back here before the managers do. 

You throw him an apologetic look and he just deflates his shoulders in defeat, still with a smile on his face. “Alright, please get tea for me then.” 

₊˚ ♡

The day went so much different the way he thought it’d be.

For one, the managers were an hour late. It was apparently due to some paperwork, they needed to file before they departed. Next was the tension between you two and Gojo, he could tell the both of you wouldn’t get along, which was a shame.

When he offered to take the other car with you in place of Gojo (who immediately went berserk at the thought of his classmate leaving him to the two other juniors), Haibara - oh heavens the good-natured kid that he is - insisted “It’s alright, Geto-san! Juniors and Seniors must stick together. If you’re worried about her, don’t be! Nanami and I will make sure she’s safe. See you at the venue!” 

He’s met both Nanami and Haibara beforehand. The four of them with Gojo would often go on missions together if it was urgent. He’s well aware of how bright, kind, and friendly the brunette is - that’s why he’s so fond of him. So he’s not particularly annoyed when Haibara unintentionally shoots down his efforts to spend time with you. 

But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t mildly irked when Haibara, again, good-naturedly says, “Team up with her? Geto-san, no worries! I’ll look after her. You can focus on exorcising those curses.”

Nanami isn’t so oblivious though, “Haibara, you don’t need to accompany her. These are low-grade curses. She’s more than capable of - .”

“Nonsense, Nanami!”

Geto didn’t get to spend the mission with you after all, and he made sure to take it all out on the minuscule cursed spirits. 

₊˚ ♡ - - - -

Meanwhile. . .

Shoko wakes up to a bunch of text messages from you:

4:30 AM (,,> ᴗ <,,)Geto-san looks so cute 5:06 AM does it make sense they asked us to be here at 4 am then they still not here?? (╥﹏╥) 6:43 AM Geto-san keeps trying to get near me what do you think that means(␦▽␦◦) 8:45 AM i seriously want to punch Haibara he keeps shutting down Geto-san 9:20 AM Didnt get to walk with senpai10:00 AM wake up already ieiri-san!!!!

"Wow," she sighs but has a small smile on her face. "My little kouhai has it bad."

Ieiri-san 10: 38 AM |￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| i don't care |＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿| \ (• ᴗ •) /

10:39 AM ieiri-san…TᴖT

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

(❀❛ ֊ ❛„)♡ reblogs and comments are appreciated//do not repost my work anywhere

//

The end was cut off because it was getting too long. Will add that to the next part should i even keep going 🤞never planned gojo and reader to have a dynamic so we'll see how this goes lol this week's jjk episode was stellar

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

idk if this is something you would answer but how do you unlearn shame of being horny 😵‍💫

hi anon,

this is a complex question. unlearning shame of any kind can take a long time to sort out, and will be driven more by internal work you do to challenge and shift your own thinking than by anything else.

a good place to start may be by doing some reflection as to what you find shameful about being horny in the first place and working back from there to recognize sexuality and desire as morally neutral things.

for instance, I get a fair number of people asking if it's okay to think about real people that they know when they're horny, or masturbate to fantasies about those people. they feel a lot of shame about this, as if they're causing harm to these people by imagining them in sexual scenarios. but making up funny little scenarios in your head to nut to is a harmless act that only you will ever know about. it's not like whipping out your dick (gender neutral) and masturbating at strangers on public transit; what you do to get off in your private time only impacts you.

a problem would only arise if you decided to start treating your real, actual acquaintance, not the imaginary sexy version of them, differently, for instance by making untoward comments about their body, treating them as if they are obligated to be interested in spending time together or having sex with you, or, god forbid, telling them in detail about your sexual fantasies. now you're doing sexual harassment, which is inappropriate because of the hurt and discomfort is causes the recipient. being horny isn't the problem here, it's how you're treating another person.

people also feel a lot of shame around many other types of fantasies, especially if they involve dynamics that are off-limits or illegal in real life. often, the worry seems to be that being aroused by these imagined scenarios is akin to expressing support for these things to happen in real life.

listen: sexual fantasies about rape are some of the most commonly reported among cis women, and that's not because tons and tons of cis women secretly think that rape is a cool thing that should happen more. the people playing Baldur's Gate 3 and fucking Halsin while he's wildshaped into a bear aren't all chomping at the bit to commit a sex crime against a real animal. noticing that "teenage" characters on TV played by actors in their 20s and 30s are hot does not make anyone a pedophile. fiction is a safe realm to explore and enjoy things that we would never in a million years want to see happen in real life. I love Batman, but I can assure you I would not be a happy camper if a real-life billionaire started running around doing vigilantism in a fursuit while endangering a gaggle of teenage sidekicks.

and if you want to explore some of the stuff you're into in real life, awesome! great! there are ways to go about negotiating a lot of different kinks safely and responsibly (although probably not the bear thing, sorry about that). the world is full of people who want the experience of being stalked, beat up, kidnapped, and sexually assaulted - all mediated through pre-negotiated arrangements with people that they have chosen to enact these fantasies with them. so what is there to be ashamed of in that situation? sure, the situation you're engaging in might sound scary without proper context, but so do a lot of things. a stranger cutting open my skin, very likely causing bleeding, and leaving me with a mark that I'll have for the rest of my life sounds scary, and it definitely would be if it wasn't a situation that I agreed to! but that's also what getting a tattoo is, and that's an experience that I love so much that I pay for the pleasure. nothing to feel bad about there as long as you're playing safely!

listen: there's nothing wrong with being horny. the human sex drive is a completely natural one born from biological need that makes getting off feel good. there's no more sense in feeling shame about being horny than there is in feeling shame about being hungry or needing rest, although people do of course manage to feel bad about those as well. regardless of what causes it, when you feel the shame well up you have to push back on it and ask yourself who actually directly benefits from you feeling badly about yourself in that moment, and who is actually tangibly hurt by the actions you're shaming. and if the answer is "no one," move it along!

[wayfayrr]

The Menace is back with a Self-Aware ask and your weekly words. So here we go with the Self-Aware!

So I think about a Self-Aware Wind and Spirit would be a good idea. You ask who Spirits is? Well the Link from Spirit Tracks because I'm sure he is a reincarnation of Wind as there were things that wouldn't make sense if he was the same. Niko is old but Spirit isn't, Zelda and Spirit don't recognise each other, Spirit doesn't have a sister or a grandma only old man Niko and Niko tells him the story of Wind Waker and Phantom Hourglass.

I believe that Wind tries to be sneaky like when Reader looks away he turns his head towards them. Reader also catched him a few times but just thought their eyes were playing tricks on them same with Spirit. But I think it would be interesting when both of them break out at the same time.

Like the scenario is like that. Reader plays Phantom Hourglass on their DS and their little/older sibling comes to them as they are stuck somewhere in Spirit Tracks and it was Reader's game after all, they don't know that Spirit planned it. So Reader just say leave it with them and put their DS down to look at the problem. Only to notice that it seems as there isn't one, Link just runs around the overworld. So Reader thinks it's a glitch and runs around with Spirit to find a next town, they are really far away if you don't use the train. So Wind gets jealous and looks for methods to get their attention. How? He runs out of the safety zone from Bellum's temple and has a monster running after his life. So if Reader plays with sound on they immediately switch DSs to save Wind. And these two do that the whole time. Oh, there is the train geek? Sorry Spirit, but Wind just fell down somewhere and Reader has to go the whole way back so they don't lose progress and heal him. Oh, Wind has a puzzle that Reader tries to solve? Sorry Wind, but Spirit just rolled against a tree with a bees/horns nest, Reader has to save him. Oh, Spirit sees and Overworld Boss and it does nothing and Reader wants to take pictures of it T posing?! Sorry Spirit, But Wind needs their help as he lost all of the ore for smith Zauz and now has to collect them again!! Oh, Wind just got a heart container after he defeated a boss?! Well Sorry Wind But Spirits RUNS ON WATER! OH LOOK WIND FELL DOWN FROM THE BOAT AND NEEDS TO BE SAVED!! SORRY SPIRIT, BUT YOUR JESUS JOURNEY HAS TO BE CUT SHORT!! OH READER FINALLY FOUNDS THE TRAIN?! WELL EXCUUUSEE ME SPIRIT BUT WIND RAN INTO FREAKING BELLUM IN THE OVERWORLD!!! OH...

And so on. These two will go into extreme lengths to get Readers attention on one of them. So they will probably break out as Reader didn't fold any of the two DS to help their parents who called them. But at first the two will fight. Obviously they love Wind more they played his games a dozens of time! Nooo, they love Spirit more they could've given him back to their sibling but they didn't he was still there. When Reader returns they just demand to know who Reader's favourite is. Reader completely stunned as both games start talk to them think they go nuts as they pulled an all-nighter before. The two won't stop and slammed against the glass until it breaks and... why are they so small? Why is Reader so tall?! WHY ARE THESE TWO HERO CHIBIS!? AND WHY HAS ONE OF THEM A JOB!?!

And your words are.

Sacrifice

Mask

Search

Arsonist

Ice blue

Unknown

Hello menace! you've discovered one of my utter weaknesses that I've never mentioned on here - spirit is my son/lh/j. I love that silly little train kiddo, he's just! So silly goofy!!!

also firm believer that if they both get out - or actually speak to one another then they'll get along really really well. they're twins and I can't be convinced otherwise.

I think the idea of them both spiting the other until reader leaves them both to go and destress would be an eye opener to the both of them, being bitter and not working together is worse for BOTH of them. Of course they'll both bicker about who is the favourite but when push comes to shove, two is always more effective than one.

ALSO LITTLE MENACE SPIRIT???? LOVE HIM oh he deserves to be an absolute little shit for attention, he's just a baby that can do no wrong after all!!!! just a tiny little guy!!!! Baby boy!!!!! he's got his train so now he just needs his older sib's attention!!! so what if he has to mess with someone else's game to do that - it worked so how can you hate him for it?

also the jesus journey bit is actually sending me- he's so desperate for attention he'll break all the rules in order to keep your eyes on him ;-; hopefully you won't reset his game seeing as he's breaking it so much now

heheheheheh tiny baby spirit who can sit in your hand or a baby wind who can fit in your pockets they're just little tiny babies!!!!! little itty bitty guys!!!!! (reminds me of some imgs peep's sent in asks lmao) so what if they shouldn't be there! now they are and that's your problem to deal with!!! they won't cause issues - pinky promise <3

(both of these guys are by @artsy-moonwalker, I adore these two little guys beyond belief and spirit looking so scruffy is just so!!!!!! literally baby and I love him so!!!)

as for the words hmmmmm, I think I'll go with ice blue for this one (sorry for the late response too, I know these were last week's after all)

[viridescent-din]

favorite food

you and joel discuss life before the outbreak, and he shares a bit more than you expected.

no warnings apply. just some very sweet (though melancholic) borderline domestic joel and reader bonding time <3

btw i am NOT sponsored by shipley’s do-nuts and shipley’s do-nuts: plz don’t sue me

~

“I think she’s finally out,” you quietly tell Joel. He turns in his sleeping bag, looking across the dying fire at Ellie’s sleeping form. He frowns, but not entirely in annoyance. You can see traces of affection etched into Joel’s face.

“First real meal in weeks. Makes sense she’d go right to sleep,” he says, then glances at you. “Good catch, by the way.” Warmth blooms in your chest at Joel’s approval. You shrug.

“I do feel kind of bad for that bunny, but...” you trail off, looking at Ellie once again.

“She’s more important,” Joel says, surprising you with the gentleness in his tone.

“Yeah,” you agree. The two of you are silent, the air suddenly seeming heavy. You know Joel feels this, too: the affection building in both of you for Ellie. You liked her from the start, but that fondness is becoming palpable. It’s the same for Joel, and you’re sure it’s harder for him to reconcile with. “Hey,” you say, trying to lighten the mood. “If you could have any meal in the world, what would it be? Like, what was your favorite food before all this?” Joel looks at you, brow set, and you realize how stupid you are for bringing up the world before it went to shit. But to your surprise, Joel doesn’t chastise you.

“C’mere,” he says, making room in his sleeping bag. You blink.

“What -”

“I’ll answer yer question,” Joel begins to exaggerate his drawl to get a smile out of you. You shake your head, looking at the ground. “But not from all the way over here. I don’t want to wake her up,” Joel glances one more time at Ellie. “She needs her sleep.” You nod, but still don’t move. Joel tilts his head back, gesturing for you to come closer. “I don’t bite.”

Before you can even stop the thought, it flashes through your mind. What if I want you to?

You shove the thought away, making your way to Joel. Your whole body is screaming at you as you slip into his sleeping bag, red alerts of this is it! It’s happening! sounding in your brain. You try to ignore them. You lay on your side, facing Joel, and he does the same. You blink.

“Warm enough?” He asks, practically whispering. You just nod. “Good.” Joel lets out a long sigh. “My favorite food... Well, I can’t remember the last time I ate it, because I was Atkins when this all happened -”

“Wait, what?” You ask, interrupting Joel. “You were on Atkins? You?”

“Now what’s so hard to believe about that?” Joel counters, borderline offended. You let out a short laugh.

“Nothing, I guess, I just... I can’t imagine you caring about that sort of thing.” You leave out the fact that you think Joel is the most handsome man you’ve seen.

“Diets could be for health you know.”

“From what I’ve heard, that one wasn’t.” Joel lets out a chuckle.

“No, I suppose it wasn’t.” He concedes. “Anyway,” he continues. “Texas was one of the states with Shipley’s Do-Nuts. If I remember correctly, the headquarters was somewhere out there.” You listen intently. Joel’s eyes aren’t focused on you, though you can barely tell. The only light is coming from the dying fire. “Every so often, I’d get a coffee, a kolache, and two donuts. See, I’d always hide the second donut from Sarah. She’d start to eat hers, then run away to watch her show, or grab her journal or something - and when she’d come back, I’d of eaten half of it. And she would grumble, saying I had my kolache, and it wasn’t fair for me to eat half of her donut because she didn’t like kolaches, so she couldn’t eat half mine. And every time, I’d pull the second donut out of the cupboard. She knew I’d do that. But she always grumbled anyway, because that was just... it was just...” Joel trails off. “It was just part of what we did.”

You don’t say anything. Joel looks distant, like he’s not entirely here with you. You take a breath.

“Sarah was your daughter, wasn’t she?” You ask carefully, not wanting to press him. Joel tenses.

“She - I always drank my coffee black. But I’d order it with cream from Shipley’s, because it came in these tiny little containers. Sarah loved to pour the cream in for me. So I’d always drink it with cream from there, just because she liked to do that for me.” Joel knits his eyebrows, snapping out of his memories. You watch as he hardens himself, slipping back into the guarded man you know better than the one who just told you about Sarah. You expect Joel to get upset, kick you out of his sleeping bag. But he doesn’t. 

“Was she - yes. Smart girl,” he tells you. You shiver at the praise. Joel frowns. “You cold?” You shake your head.

“No,” you say it like you’re telling him a secret. Joel softens.

“Alright,” he murmurs. You curl into yourself. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I -”

“It’s okay.” You don’t let Joel doubt himself anymore than he already does. “I don’t mind.” Joel seems uncomfortable, antsy with the fact he just revealed so much. You swallow. “I don’t remember much from before. I was on a plane when it all happened. And my mom was sort of a health nut, so she packed fruit. I was eating an orange instead of the pretzels the flight attendants handed out. That was how it happened, wasn’t it? The grains.” Joel nods. You continue, hoping hearing about your experience helps Joel with the fact you now know something about his. “My parents didn’t make it off the flight. I don’t know how they managed to keep me safe, but... they did.”

“Did you have any siblings?” Joel asks, a slight rasp to his voice. You meet his eyes.

“My mom had just had a baby,” you tell him. “I was... I was so excited to be an older sibling. I even asked to name it. If I recall correctly, I wanted Cinderella if it was a girl and Prince Charming if it was a boy.” Joel lets out chuckle. You smile at the memory too. The laughter dies down.

“Which was it?” You clench your fists.

“I, um, I don’t remember.” You bite your tongue, tasting blood. You let out a bitter laugh. “Isn’t that fucked up? I don’t remember.” You’re both silent.

“Your,” Joel clears his throat. “Your parents are lucky.” You look at him incredulously, almost glaring. “They are. They managed to save you. That’s all a parent wants: to protect their kid. And your folks did that.”

All a parent wants is to protect their kid. You poke your head out of the sleeping bag, looking at Ellie. The fire is gone now, but you can still make out her form. She’s still sleeping, and safe. You burrow back into Joel’s bag.

“Yeah,” you agree. “I guess so.” Joel’s hands slide over your waist, pulling your back to his chest. He’s so sturdy, emanating warmth. He moves his arm under your head, giving you a pillow of sorts.

“Go to sleep,” he says. “I’ll take first watch.”

“But -”

“I’ll take first watch,” Joel is firm. “I won’t be sleeping tonight, darlin.’”

If Joel wasn’t holding you so tight, you’d be afraid that he’s angry. But instead of shutting you out, he presses his lips to your temple, and tells you he’ll see you in the morning. When you close your eyes, you dream of coffee and donuts.

[ventique18]

Dreamlike

Malleus x Yuu♀️ (nameless) short one shot.

⚠️ Suggestive warning!

It's a hot summer. For Lilia, summer always makes him think of very specific things: beaches, watermelons, swimsuits. It's the perfect time to enjoy one's youth. Now, he's not actually young anymore to be bothered by such frivolities, but he is bothered anyway. It's because his young master, who is quite literally young and should, indeed, enjoy his youth, is instead spending time cooped up in his musty old library and eating nuts instead of watermelons or mangoes or coconuts.

That simply won't do. So, with the power vested in him as the boy's guardian, he manages to forc--convince him to join a youth summer camp.

Malleus Draconia isn't particularly pleased. But since he's getting bored of the same tomes and scriptures anyway (the scheduled procurement of new books isn't until a few months more), he accepts and uses it as an excuse to loiter around the mountains by his lonesome.

Until one night he isn't quite alone. He isn't sure if it's good or bad fortune, but for the first time in his traditionalist life, he experiences something truly shocking.

He walks in on a woman bathing. In a river, by the forest. Completely, utterly, naked. He watches her a second too long, he's ashamed to confess.

"Like what you're seeing?"

That snaps him back to reality. Flustered, he blinks and his mouth babbles and his hands shift in many different combinations of poses that he dreads the woman might think he's performing an odd sort of avian mating dance.

"No," He speaks quickly, "What I mean is, please do not misunderstand and think that I find you foul or, unattractive. I don't. I do think you're rather fascinating. But it's not that I'm watching you deliberately, goodness no. Please do not be afraid as I do not plan on doing anything more than look. I mean,"

He sucks in a sharp breath. He's not making any rational sense, and he's sounding like a creep, "I am merely curious."

For all his attempts at sincerity, he's failing horribly as he just cannot take his eyes off her.

But she laughs, and with a shake of her head, asks him playfully, "Alright stranger, can you hand me my towel?"

He does, and he almost stumbles from how shaken he is from this whole ordeal.

Much to his surprise, the woman does not think badly of him at all. She, in fact, asks him to come back tomorrow night. Same place, same time. Now, he's no fool and knows better than to fall for such suspicious traps, so he ignores her request and walks through a different trail the following night.

... Until he circles back and finds his feet perching on a familiar stony path; soles drenched and socks dampened by the moonlit water.

There she is, swaying languidly in the clear river. He can fully see every inch and curve of her alluring body, yet she does not bother to hide herself nor reprimand him for his obviously captivated gaze. And whether by pure curiosity or something else entirely, he finds himself wading through the waters and towards her, when she smiles and gestures for him to come a bit closer.

Nothing much happens that night, except for her asking what kind of flower he likes. He answers and asks her in turn if she likes berries, and if she prefers strawberries or blueberries or any other berry. What's your favorite color? Do you take care of any pet? As odd as the situation is, he catches himself looking less and less at the soft slopes of her womanly body and more on the tugs of emotions at the corners of her mouth.

He finds himself visiting her again the following nights. They talk about anything and everything, and very soon he thinks she knows more about him than anyone else he's ever met in his life. He finds comfort in her, and he wonders if she feels the same. He becomes a bit confident that she does, when she asks to touch him a week later.

For the first time in his life, he undresses in front of another not to dress up, but to... simply undress. He cannot fathom what comes over him. But he lets her roam his body, from the tips of his fingers to the ridges of his peculiar horns. From the slope of his nose to the dip of his hip. She stops before she can cross the boundary of appropriate and inappropriate (though one can argue their circumstance is not a very usual one), but rather than taking a step back, she moves forward and asks him,

"Would you like to touch me too?"

He does not reply. He cannot think. And when the head refuses to function any more, it's the heart that takes over the body. He cannot hear anything but the loud thumping of his chest, but he nervously perseveres and places a palm upon her left breast.

Thump, thump, thump.

Is that the blood that runs through his veins, or is that her heart resonating with his, through the red that dusts her cheeks and the fingers that shakily reaches for his own?

Thump, thump, thump.

He doesn't know. He cannot think. Not when her smaller hands intertwine against his much larger ones. Not when her legs coil around his waist, arms wrapping tightly around his back and nails sinking deep across the skin above his spine. Not when his mind is occupied with the soft enamor of her thighs, his fingers squeezing her tightly as he pushes and pulls her against himself; sinful sweat washed away by the unsullied waters.

What a terrifying feeling. He's never felt so out of control. He knows not what he's doing, he has nothing planned out in his head. All he has is this strange electricity coursing through him-- a magnet that draws him to her. He doesn't want to let go. He cannot let go. Not even when a wave of ecstasy crashes through his entire body and threatens to knock him out cold. Not even when they settle on his lodgings and bury themselves in the warmth of sheets and blankets.

Even then, he buries himself in her warmth.

So when he wakes up to find her nowhere to be seen-- not in bed, not in his immediate surroundings-- he no longer feels out of control. He is not in control. The trip has come to an end, and so did his dreamlike encounter.

Only the wanton marks left on his skin are proof that it was, in fact, not a dream.

---

"Malleus, cheer up a bit, why don't you? You wouldn't want to scare your... let me check my notes... Ah yes, your 57th potential wife away, no?"

"And it's the 50th time I am telling you this: no one would ever want to waste an hour with me. Much less a lifetime. You would think the first seven were proof enough."

"Don't you say that! You're a handsome young man, if you would just learn to smile--"

"Enough, Lilia. This is the last time. If this still doesn't work out, I would rather let my bloodline die with me than suffer through any more humiliation."

*click* *creak*

"Hi there, stranger."

"..."

"Like what you're seeing?"

"... You have a lot of nerve, standing me up like that. And suddenly you show up-- out of nowhere-- with a cheeky little smile? This audacity calls for a fitting punishment, don't you think?"

"Ohh, scary. I like it. Lay it on me. Or would you prefer it in me?"

"Witch. You deserve a life sentence. Lilia, take out the marriage papers."

💖💖💖💖

Notes: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE PARAGRAPH LMAOOO! I just wanted to share that I like cheesy cliche stories with a bit of sensual flavor and was just gonna share a rough plot. Somehow it turned into a short fanfic HAHAHA

I really really like the thought of Malleus catching Yuu bathing and doesn't really do anything to hide his interest. He's an honest man. It's a staple in any of the MalleYuu AUs in my brain.

[bobattef]

just for fun.

“It’s not even that serious, just for fun”

You tell your best friend for the umpteenth time as she rolls her eyes at your comment.

“Just for fun?” She repeats you, which makes you look back at the screen connecting your video call, was it delayed??

“Y/N…there’s so many reasons why you shouldn’t be doing this..” her serious voice comes over the speaker but you can’t help but smirk at her.

“Ergh, which is probably why you want to do this right? For the wrong reasons?” She asks you as you fake your offence at her words with a dramatic grab to your chest.

Yes, you were perhaps showing your rebellious side a little too much with this latest antic of yours.

But being brought up in the Stark family, it was almost inevitable that you would bend the rules.

And if there was a rule to say ‘don’t fuck around with any of your Dad’s work colleagues” then you’re definitely a rule breaker there.

*ping* 

Your phone lights up the same way your face does when you see who the message is from.

Completely ignoring your best friend asking if it was him, you open the message as your heart starts to pick up its pace.

Doll?

You awake?

He was never the best at messaging but then again he was over a hundred years old. 

“You’re not seeing him tonight are you?” Your best friend asks you as she sees a cheeky grin flash across your face, confirming her thoughts.

“Y/N! Your Dad is home” She almost shouts as you bring your fingers to your lips to shhh her.

Yes you were in your own room a whole floor above your Dad’s and Peppa’s bedroom but you never know how good a hearing they might have these days.

I’m up Soldier 😘

You type back to him as you quickly say your goodbyes to your bestie.

“Stay safe you absolute nut case!” She half laughed as she switched the end call button.

You quickly discard the over sized tee you had been lounging in as you rummage around for a better looking top.

You’ll keep your leggings on, one day you might meet up with him in a skirt or dress, I’m sure he’ll love you in one but for now it’s trousers of some kind seeing as you’ll be climbing out the window in a moment.

Your Dad gave you the best room available inside this compound.

Up and away from the others, it was almost an attic room only sharing its hallway with a storage cupboard on the end.

With massive floor to ceiling doors leading out to a balcony which was linked to the side alley of the building.

I mean, who wouldn’t choose to sneak out once in a while when it was set up so perfectly to do so.

ETA 23:05

You giggle a little at yet another blunt message as you carefully slide the door shut behind you.

A quick glance from left to right just in case anyone else was out for a midnight stroll, you hopped over the barrier and almost silently climb down the railings framing the side wall. You landed perfectly on that one soft part of grass to muffle the sound of your boots.

You’ve become a pro at this now, being the 6th or 7th time you’ve met up with the super soldier on the sly.

It always happens the same way, you’ll bid your good nights downstairs to him in the common room along with the rest of the avengers on camp and then a few minutes, sometimes hours later, your phone will ping with the same messages.

You wait in the shadows for him, you’ve always liked this part.

The hiding down the alleyways, the hushed voices, the standing flush against the wall with that cool metal hand of his wrapped around your mouth, keeping you quiet as you’ve had to wait for the coast to be clear.

You lean your head against the wall, looking up to the stars as the feel of the brick mixed perfectly with the rising heat of your body.

“Doll?” You can hear his smile through the whispering of his voice.

You know he can see you perfectly with his heightened senses but you can only make out it’s him by the faintest of light bouncing off his arm from the lamp post nearby.

You loved it when he didn’t cover it up.

“Waiting long?” He asks you but doesn’t give you much time to answer for his lips are already on yours.

You almost gasp into his mouth as his whole body leans into yours, pushing you further into the wall you were stood against. 

“Sorry” he grins at you as he pulls away, leaving one hand casing your face.

“Been a long day?” You ask him. You could always tell if it was a good or bad day by the urgency he gave you when you met up with each other.

Some nights you’ll just sit in the dark somewhere and talk absolute rubbish until it was almost dawn.

Other nights he could barley contain himself and would pounce on you as soon as he laid eyes on you.

He was one of the best kissers you had.

Despite him saying he was lacking experience giving his past, you longed for them each time.

You’re not sure what you wanted from this.

Yes, your bestie thought it was purely about hurting your Dad but you can’t lie and say you didn’t find the super soldier very attractive.

He stood out to you the first day your father had introduced him, he didn’t want to touch you, not even for a handshake as quoting his words ‘he thought you were made of glass’.

You quickly taught him just how tough you were when he watched you train with Nat.

You can’t even remember how this came about and yet it was only 2 weeks ago, if that.

You enjoyed being with him so you just left your thoughts at that as he grabbed at your leggings, pulling them down to the tops of your thighs.

“here?” You breathed, the feeling of his hands on you where you needed it most causing your voice to waiver.

“Here” he smiled at you before kissing you deeply.

Groaning slightly into your mouth as his fingers pushed inside you.

“Fuck doll, so wet already?” His deep voice against your lips sent shivers down your spine.

You expected him to lift your leg up, wrap it around his waist.

If he wanted it here then the best way was to fuck you up against the wall but he took you by surprise as he spun your whole body round, you were now facing the brick in front of you.

His fingers never leaving their place buried inside you, you were so focused on the feeling he was giving you with the teasing of his hand that you didn’t quite hear the undoing of his belt.

Only realising that he had his cock out when you felt the tip of it pushing against your ass cheeks.

You’ve lost count the amount of times you had both slept together in the small space of time you had been meeting up like this but you still were in awe at the size of him.

Pulling out of you with his fingers, he pushes your underwear to the side so he could line himself up with you.

You shuffle your feet slightly, parting your legs to widen yourself.

The gravel underneath your boots being the other sound apart from both your rapid breathing.

“Ready doll?” He whispers into your ear as he gently bites at your neck.

He’s not silly, he won’t make any obvious markings on you, no matter how bad he wants to. 

He makes a quick glance from left to right of either side of the alley, like it’s not too late to get out of this situation if someone was to catch the both of you.

He grabs your waist a little too tightly as he pushes his cock inside you.

You both groan out in sync.

He fills you to the base as he stalls his movements, feeling your walls contract around him to fit him inside you.

A quick kiss to your neck, that had already started to sweat a little, he pulls out of you just as slowly as he went in.

You want to push your ass outwards, not wanting him to leave you but you’re quickly taken by surprise as thrusts hard back inside you.

You moan out loud as you feel a hand of his grab you by the back of your neck.

“Shhh doll” he tells you as he jerks his hips up, pushing deeper.

You bite your lip as you know you have to be a lot quieter than you’re being right now.

“This…” he plants a kiss on your cheek as he starts to talk to you “is going…to be hard” he kisses your neck again “and fast…” his kisses become tiny nips at your skin “I’m going to need you to be very…” he trails his mouth down your neck “very… quiet for me ok?” He brings his gaze back up to yours “can you do that for me?” 

You bite your lip as all you could do in answer was to nod your head slightly.

You knew how hard he could go, you literally broke the camp bed you had both been fucking on a couple of nights before.

That was a difficult one to explain to the team.

“That’s my girl” he says to you as he kisses you

 hard once more.

Your lips are almost swollen by the time he’s finished and pulls away.

He adjusts his stance a little, pulling your hips out a bit further away from the wall so he can angle himself better.

You take a deep breath as you lean your head against your arm that was holding you up on the wall, balling your hand into a fist after that first deep thrust he gave you, wishing you could cry out.

He lands a slap to the flesh of your ass before picking up his pace.

The noise of his skin against yours was heavenly.

You honestly couldn’t care if someone else could hear this right now.

His pace was something else.

You don’t think you’ve ever been fucked this fast. You don’t think any one can fuck you this fast ever again.

The brutal force from his hips was causing your whole body to move alongside his.

If he wasn’t gripping so tightly onto you, you’re sure you would have been fucked into the wall rather than up against it. 

The movements were causing your arm to drag up and down the wall, the sting of the bricks biting at your skin, grazes forming across it.

You’re sure you can taste blood also as you bite harder into your own lip to stop yourself from moaning out loud.

And you just know the imprint from his hands are going to be left behind for a few days.

But you can’t feel any of that, you feel only him.

The way he’s reaching so deep inside you.

The way he’s holding onto you, like he never wants to let go.

The way he’s also struggling to keep quiet as your cunt grips him so perfectly.

You start to see stars as you’re sure he’s close also.

His hips start to falter their movements as his hands move away from yours, trying to grab at the flesh of your ass instead, as well as pulling on your hair to steady himself.

You want him to finish, you want to feel that familiar feeling of filling you up with his come but you also don’t want this to end.

You know it’ll only be a few more days, hell, could even be tomorrow night that you next see him but you still want to milk every moment with the commander.

“Fuuuuck” he makes one last stifled moan before almost collapsing against you, the whole weight of himself leaning into you causing you to almost face plant the wall. 

You laugh slightly as you’re pinned between him and the brick.

“I…Er..Bucky?” The strain of your voice causes him to come back down from his high.

“Sorry doll” he breathes out as stands up straight.

Pulling out of you as you feel his warm liquid start to drip down.

He tucks himself back into his combats as you can barely stay stood on your feet right now.

Turning round so you can lean your back up against the wall to better balance yourself whilst you pull your leggings up.

You notice him just staring at you as you try to catch your breath back.

“What?” You barley whisper out, feeling like the air had been fucked out of your lungs. 

“How you going to haul your ass back up that trellis?” He asks you, grinning from ear to ear.

“Ha..You can always carry me up?” you manage to say as he laughs.

[namjooning-to-the-moon]

BTS Headcanon- On Tour🥵

Authors note: firstly, this is the first smut on this blog so I hope you like sinning 😈

I would also like to add this even though I feel it's common sense. This is a work of fiction. This is not remotely fact, just my opinions on the BTS members based on their public personas.

Warnings: this is smut, don't like don't read.

My gif use on this post is also ✨flawless✨

This is how I think the BTS members would behave when they are down bad on tour...

Jin

Doesn't get horny much on tour because he's too busy having a good time.

Mainly so he doesn't miss you so much.

If he's in the mood though he will probably just watch porn with his head phones in and get off ngl.

He's a simple man.

Will picture you two doing whatever is in the video.

Might use it as inspo for what he's going to do to you when he gets home.

But he's only watching porn if you aren't available.

If you are he's sexting you.

Will be a cliche and ask you "what are you wearing? 😏"

Even if you say something like "a penguin onsie" this man will find a way to work with it.

Texts back something like "a naughty penguin???🥵

Would do phone sex if he could but he knows he's kind of loud so its not really possible.

Won't ask for nudes but if you send them he will put them in the spank bank 💦

Lingerie pics are also welcome.

Put on his favourite and send him cute pictures.

Sends you photos of his fucked out expression after he's done.

If you've joined in, send him a picture back of your own fucked out expression.

Might make him horny all over again though.

Another round may be needed.

When the post nut clarity hits he will send you a really sweet message about how much he misses you.

Yoongi

Sleepiest member on tour so probably doesn't have much time for it.

If he's only gone for two weeks he can honestly wait till he gets back home and fuck you.

If he's away from home for a while though he's going to have to do it.

He's human and he still has needs.

Doesn't want to damage himself.

Can make himself bust in five minutes flat so he can carry on with his day.

Doesn't need porn.

He has a whole vault of memories of you two fucking for inspo.

Will never ask you for nudes or spicy photos but if you send them he will use them if he feels like it.

They aren't really his thing.

He just uses them because you are in them.

Much more audio stimulated than visual.

Phone sex, yes and please.

Has a filthy mouth. 

He knows it and you know it.

Tongue technology™ will ruin you.

Tells you about all the things he's going to do to you when he gets home.

He will take his time and go into explicit detail.

The things he says would make a whore blush fr.

Before he goes on tour would love it if you let him record the sound of you when you guys are fucking.

Will be super quiet while he records it so it may be awkward for you but he wants to make sure there is only your sounds on the audio.

Will listen to it on his headphones when he's picturing you to get off. 

^This gif is literal perfection for this and I am not even remotely sorry for using it.

Hoseok

Not the biggest fan of touching himself but does it because he needs to.

Makes him miss you more.

Phone sex.

Facetime sex.

He needs it.

He needs to be able to see or hear you.

He's addicted to you.

If you aren't available though he will use his ✨imagination✨

Doesn't find porn satisfying anymore and it gets him frustrated because it's not you.

You guys could make a sex tape a thousand times better than any porn.

The only thing that holds him back from making one is the paranoia that it could get leaked somehow.

He will eventually cave in though and probably ask if he can film himself cumming across your ass cheeks and dripping down your thighs.

It's anonymous enough if it got leaked that no one would know 👌🏻

Wont ask for photos but will drop hints that he wants them.

Wants it to be your choice to send them otherwise it's not fun for him.

If you are available he prefers facetime sex but phone sex is also good with him.

Lowkey an exhibitionist with facetime sex

Will tease the fuck out of you.

He's on tour not dead.

Hope you like getting edged from thousands of miles away.

Namjoon

Lowkey stressed on tour because he has five idiots and a Yoongi to take care of, so doesn't do it often.

But when he does he needs it bad.

Not really into porn anymore but if you aren't available he will watch it.

There's a catch though...

The girl has to look like you in some way.

Either same hair colour, or same skin tone, maybe same kind of facial features. 

Something about them has to remind him of you or he can't get off.

If you are available though, phone sex for days.

Biggest dirty talker in the group.

His mouth is actual filth.

Loves giving you instructions on how to touch yourself for him.

He's thousands of miles away but that pussy is still his.

Those are the rules ok.

Wants you to tell him how bad you need him.

Dirty talk him the fuck back, he loves it.

Will also ask for photos subtly because he doesn't want to seem pushy.

If you let him film you he will never watch porn again.

Give him a blow job the way he likes and let him film it and he will wife you. I don't make the rules.

Probably would never ask for it though because he knows he's clumsy af and will probably lose his phone.

The thought of that honestly gives him a borderline aneurysm.

Will think about it frequently though.

^This gif is chefs kiss perfect and I will not fucking apologize.

Jimin

It doesn't matter if this man is on the fucking moon.

He is highkey horny most of the time.

Being on tour is fun but the way he misses you actually hurts him.

Has deadass thought about flying you out just to get laid.

Doesn't like porn, would rather use his imagination and his memory bank.

Will ask for photos to add to the ones he has already.

Has a fap folder 💦 of you.

This man has a cam fetish I am 100% convinced .

Anything you can give him he will accept.

Lingerie pics? Cool. Nudes? Also cool.

Even just a pic of you in a short skirt peaking out some underwear is good with him.

Just give this man any small crumb of pussy please hes begging.

Phone sex? Loves it. Especially if you praise him and tell him how to touch himself.

Facetime sex? Fucking loves it omg.

Jimin is a highkey exhibitionist and I will die on that hill.

Needs to have his own room to do it though so it's rare but when it happens omg.

Your own personal cam boy fr.

Will ask to film you before he goes on tour.

Nothing too extreme though.

Wants a pov video of you on your back with his cock sliding in and out of you.

That way he can see pussy, tits and face.

The essentials™

Call him a good boy on camera and it will make him cum every time.

Taehyung

Also on team highkey horny most of the time.

Being on tour doesn't change his sex drive much so he is fr suffering.

Doesn't like porn because he's too emotionally connected to you sexually and it makes him feel like he's cheating.

He just feels guilty the whole time.

Not the vibe he's going for.

Has a very vivid imagination so he's got plenty of explicit memories to work with.

Will sext you constantly.

Even if you are at the grocery store, expect a text from his horny ass in a different timezone saying hes touching himself thinking about you sucking him off.

Will deadass ask for photos.

Absolutely no shame.

Will take anything you give him.

His favourite though is when you make them artsy.

Lingerie photos but with you holding some flowers? Hot.

Nudes but you are slightly covered by the bed sheets? Also hot.

Phone sex is ok but not his favorite.

Mainly likes to hear you moan his name down the phone.

Facetime sex is where it's at.

Prefers being able to see you.

Will sometimes out of the blue send you a video of him in the bathroom of his hotel room in front of the mirror getting himself off.

Texts "just for you baby" as the caption

Jungkook

When he's on tour he's very focused.

After shows he's mostly sleepy and hungry.

He is also a lot of the time lowkey horny. 

The energy and the adrenaline from performing makes him dtf.

You aren't there though so he's kind of suffering.

Will ask for photos but will be cute about it.

Sends texts like "nudes? 👉🏻👈🏻"

Send him teasing videos and he will whine but lowkey loves it.

Be warned though...

He will break your back like a glow stick when he comes back home.

Film yourself stripping out of lingerie and he will watch it the whole time he's on tour.

Send him a video of you sucking a lolipop and winking at the camera and he will lose his mind.

Will watch porn if he has to.

Also on team, the girl in it has to resemble you in some way.

Too shy for facetime sex or phone sex.

Loves sexting though.

Will write you the filthiest texts like omg.

Also tells you about how he's going to fuck you when he gets home.

All I can say is don't expect to use your legs for a few days when he gets back.

Authors note: I would like to say that I wrote this out, edited it to perfection just for Tumblr not to let me post it. But you know what, I fucking did it all over again, you're welcome and fuck you Tumblr mobile app.

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Every Little Thing She Does is Magic, Chapter 1

Pairing: Platonic Steven Grant x Reader (for now)

Rating: T

Word count: ~3150

Story Summary: Steven meets a beautiful woman in the Egyptian exhibit at the British Museum...

...Too bad she's his new boss.

Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergent since Steven still works for the British Museum post-canon, No Jake Lockley, developing friendship

A/N: Welcome to the start of my first Steven Grant story! This will be multiple chapters (not exactly sure how many, although I don't expect it to get too long.)

If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this (or any of my other writing), please let me know!

Title from the song of the same name by The Police.

Steven Grant whistled cheerfully to himself as he ascended the steps of the British Museum. He had managed to successfully translate the hieroglyphic code he had been working on for the past week, gotten a full night's rest, and had even caught the early bus to work.

He checked his watch. Eh, I've got a bit before I have to clock in. Might as well pop by the Egyptian exhibit to see if they changed the placard for Mekhet yet.

He headed over to the exhibit, sighing with disappointment when he noticed that the placard was still incorrect. It's been three months. The least they could do is place a temporary sign until a new, permanent one came in.

He was just about to go put his bag in his employee locker and clock in early when a woman walked up next to him and began reading the placard on the statue.

“You know, that's actually wrong,” Steven said.

The woman glanced over at him. “Excuse me?”

Steven placed her accent as American, but couldn't pinpoint the region. Must be on holiday. He pointed at the placard. “The placard. It says that this is Menhit when it's really Mekhit.”

The woman looked at the placard, then back at the statue. “Oh, is it really?”

Steven nodded. “Menhit was actually a solar goddess, representing the brow of Ra and depicted by a reclining lioness, while Mekhit was the goddess of war, which is why she's depicted as a roaring lioness.”

The woman smiled at Steven. “Well that makes sense.”

“She was also known as the ‘Eye of Ra’,” Steven continued, encouraged by her friendliness. “It was said that the Eye left Ra and transformed itself into a lioness, after which it was hunted down and returned by Onuris, then it transformed into Menhit, which explains the similar names. And there's also Mehit, with no k or n, who was associated with the moon and was also depicted as a reclining lioness, but with three sticks behind her.”

The woman chuckled. “Imagine someone in Ancient Egypt accidentally praying to the wrong god or goddess because of a spelling error. Like, ‘oops, sorry, I meant for Mut to help me, not Nut ’.”

Steven grinned. “I've been trying to get my bosses to fix it for months now, but honestly I shouldn't be surprised. Took them ages to correct the banner depicting the Ennead. Only seven of them were on there when there were supposed to be nine.”

The woman glanced over at the banner, which now included all nine of the Ennead. “Oh, so you work here?”

Steven nodded. “Oh, er, sorry, yeah. I'm not just some nutter chatting you up in the Egyptian exhibit, I promise.”

The woman laughed. “Well either way, you're very knowledgeable about Egyptian history.”

“Oh, I love history, especially ancient Egyptian history. I find it fascinating.” Steven bit his lip. “Is it alright if I show you my favorite exhibit? It's just right over there.”

The woman nodded. “Sure.”

Steven led her over to the statue of Hathor. “This is Hathor -- Egyptian goddess of music, joy, pleasure and love.”

The woman grinned. “I see why she's your favorite. She gets all the fun stuff.”

Steven chuckled. “She was also goddess of beauty and the protector of women, and she was considered one of the most powerful of all the gods and goddesses. Early cosmetics and mirrors were left at her temples as offerings.”

The woman smiled. “She sounds pretty amazing.”

Steven nodded. “Oh, she was. In fact, it's said she--”

“Oy! Stevie!”

Steven startled at the sound of Donna's voice. “Oh, bollocks,” he muttered. ‘I'm sorry, I've got to run.”

The woman nodded. “That's quite alright. It was nice meeting you… Stevie, was it?”

Steven shook his head. “Actually, it's Steven. With a ‘v'.”

“Nice meeting you, ‘Steven-with-a-v’.”

“You too.”

Steven tried to hurry away but was accosted by Donna, who immediately began to give him an earful. “How many times do I have to tell you, don't bother the visitors!” she hissed loudly. “The new museum director's coming in today and the last thing she needs to see is employees faffing about.”

“But I’m not -- wait, new director?” Steven vaguely remembered Donna mentioning a few weeks prior that the museum board had finally hired a new director. “Who is it?”

Donna shrugged. “I dunno, some poncy American. Anyway, as I've said before, you're not a bloody tour guide. Your job is to sell overpriced rubbish to whiny little brats and their caretakers. Now, I want the gift shop fully stocked and in tip-top shape by the time the new director arrives. You should've been doing that already instead of dawdling.”

Steven glanced back at the woman, who was now studying the hieroglyphics on one of the nearby sarcophagi. “But I'm not -- I was just --”

Donna rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, flirt on your own time. Not like she'd be interested in the likes of you anyway, innit?”

“But I wasn't --” Steven sighed as Donna stalked off. “Okay then, good talk.”

He trudged over to the staff lounge area, stashed his messenger bag in his locker, and clocked in before heading to the gift shop.

He cringed when he saw the state of it. Clearly no one had bothered restocking after the gaggle of families and tour groups had blown through over the weekend. This'll take me all bloody day. Luckily Mondays are usually pretty quiet.

He quickly pinned his name tag to his shirt and began to straighten and organize the various plushies and knickknacks between customers, making note of what he needed to grab more of from the storage room.

He was organizing the Seshat figurines several hours later when Donna walked out of her office. “Oy, Stevie, the new boss lady wants a word with you upstairs.”

Steven swallowed nervously. “Me? What for?”

Donna shrugged, a slight smirk on her face. “You know, I heard that there was a bit of a shakeup coming with the new regime but I thought it'd at least be a few days before you got sacked. Guess not.”

Bollocks, Steven thought. Hopefully there's at least a decent severance package. “Okay. Well, off I go then.”

He set down the last figurine and headed out of the gift shop towards the lifts. “Maybe they'll at least let me finish my shift before they give me the boot,” he wondered aloud as he pressed the button to call the lift.

“Why are you so worried?” Marc replied in his head. “You don't even like this job.”

“I do like it,” Steven protested, catching Marc's face in the reflection of the shiny metal doors. “Well, sort of. And anyway, we can't afford our flat without it.”

Marc was quiet for a moment. “I got some money,” he finally said as the lift arrived. “From Dad, after Mom… Well anyway, I've never touched it so that should keep you afloat for a little while until you find another job.”

The ride up to the 5th floor was one of the longest of Steven's life. He stepped out of the lift, nervously trying to tame his wild curls but ultimately just making his hair more messed up. Oh, bollocks.

He walked down the hall to the door marked Director and knocked.

“Come in,” a voice said.

Steven took a deep breath and entered.

He froze. Standing behind the museum director's desk was the woman he had been talking to in the Egyptian exhibit before Donna had spotted him. “Oh, erm…” Just my bloody buggering luck.

The visitor from earlier (the new museum director, you bloody great twit, he corrected himself) smiled warmly. “Hello again, ‘Steven-with-a-v’.”

“Er, hello, Miss.” Steven could see his employee file open on the director's desk and began mentally going over their entire interaction from earlier, trying to figure out what exactly he had done in order to get sacked so quickly. He hadn't been on the clock at the time so it wasn't like he actually had been dawdling instead of working, and he hadn't really complained about his job beyond mentioning that the display placard for Mekhit was incorrect and about how long it took for the banner depicting the Ennead to be corrected.

The director motioned to the chair in front of her desk. “Have a seat.”

Steven sat as the director took her seat as well. 

The director folded her hands in front of her and placed them on her desk. “First of all,” she began, “apologies for not introducing myself earlier. My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N, and I'm the new director here at the museum. I'm sure you're wondering why I've called you to my office, especially so soon after starting my tenure here.”

“Er, yes ma'am,” Steven replied nervously, glancing up at the framed Ph.D hanging on the wall before once again looking at his open employment record.

Dr. Y/L/N slid Steven's file over to her and studied it for a moment. “You work in the gift shop, is that correct?”

Bollocks, here it comes. “Yes, ma'am.”

“You've never had any interest in becoming a tour guide, have you?”

“I'm sorry, ma’am, I wasn't trying to --” Steven blinked rapidly as her words registered. “Wait, what?”

Dr. Y/L/N looked up from his file. “Tour guide. You ever thought about it?”

Steven nodded. “All the time, actually. It's what I dream of doing.”

“Then why haven't you ever applied for an open tour guide position?”

Because Donna keeps telling me that there's no way it would ever happen, so why bother? “Well I, er…”

Dr. Y/L/N leaned back in her chair. “We actually have a current opening for the Visitor Engagement Specialist position… if you're interested, that is.”

Steven was speechless. “Visitor Engagement Specialist? But that's -- that's the head of programming and tours.”

Dr. Y/L/N nodded. “Yes, that's right. I'd like to offer you the position.”

She gestured towards his employee file. “I've read over your CV, Steven, and you're more than qualified.”

Steven was still processing. What the bloody hell is happening? 

Sounds like you're not getting fired, Marc answered. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Steven shook his head. “Even if I applied for the position, wouldn't I need to interview for it as well?”

Dr. Y/L/N’s lips turned up in a small smile. “Oh, but you already have.” 

Steven’s brow furrowed. “I have?” 

Dr. Y/L/N nodded. “The museum’s visitor numbers have been declining lately, so over the weekend I took a few tours to see how they could be improved, and to be quite honest I learned more from speaking to you for 10 minutes in the Egyptian exhibit than from taking 3 separate hour-long tours throughout the entire museum. You certainly had me enraptured during our conversation about Mekhit and Hathor this morning.”

She gave Steven a warm smile. “I would consider that enough of an interview to offer you the position, wouldn't you?”

Steven huffed out a nervous chuckle. “I -- I suppose so, ma’am.”

“The current tours are stale and boring,” Dr. Y/L/N continued. “And the guides themselves could use some, well, guidance  from someone with your knowledge of and enthusiasm for history and folklore. I think you could plan some wonderfully engaging tours.”

Steven rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I do have some ideas on how the current tours could be improved… So, er, what exactly does the position entail?”

“You'd work closely with the Curatorial department to develop programming and tours based on what we have on exhibit at the time while concurrently managing the Programming department. Of course, that would include being on the regular tour rotation as well as handling any specialized tours -- large groups, VIP guests, and the like. I know it would be a lot of work, but the position also comes with your own office as well as a sizable increase in pay.” Dr. Y/L/N quoted a figure that was more than double what Steven currently made. “Plus benefits.”

Steven’s eyes widened. With that sort of salary he could afford a bigger flat closer to the museum. “That's -- that's quite generous. I don't know what to say.”

Dr. Y/L/N nodded. “I know this is probably a bit of a shock, so feel free to take some time to think about it. Think you could give me an answer by the beginning of next week?”

What's there to think about? Marc chided him. You're being handed your dream job on a silver platter. Say you'll take it, dumbass.

Steven ignored Marc. “Yes, ma'am.”

Dr. Y/L/N closed Steven's file. “By the way, I put in an order for a new placard for the Mekhit exhibit. Thought you'd like to know.”

Steven grinned. “Yes, ma’am. Thank you.”

“And one other thing…” Dr. Y/L/N paused briefly. “Does your current supervisor often speak to you the way she did this morning?”

Steven was taken aback. “Donna? Well, actually, er… well, she's a bit prickly, yes.”

“I see. And have you reported her behavior to anyone?”

Steven shook his head. “No, ma'am. Don't want to cause a scene or make things worse.”

“Mmm. Well, this 'poncy American' is going to have a private chat with her later on the way we treat our subordinates… and refer to our superiors.”

Marc chuckled. I think I'm in love.

Yeah, me too, Steven replied. Too bad she's my boss.

He really hadn't been flirting with Dr. Y/L/N earlier, although if Steven had been more confident he might have actually considered it. As it was, however, he was glad he hadn't. Most likely would've gotten sacked in that case.

Dr. Y/L/N stood. “Alright, Steven, thank you for coming in. Please let me know as soon as possible what your decision on the Visitor Engagement Specialist position is.”

Steven stood as well. “I will, ma'am. And no matter what I decide, thank you either way for the opportunity.”

“You're welcome. And thank you for such a stimulating conversation this morning. I thoroughly enjoyed it.”

Steven smiled. “I did too.”

He headed back down to the gift shop, where Donna was standing behind the register reading a book.

She looked up as Steven approached the counter. “What, still here? Figured you'd have cleared out your locker by now.”

Steven shook his head. “The new director just wanted to introduce herself and speak with me about something. Guess she's doing that with everyone.”

Donna rolled her eyes. “In that case, when you get done with restocking there's a new shipment of items that need to be unpacked and sorted.”

As if she couldn't have been working on all that shit herself while you were gone, Marc said as Donna headed back towards her office. Would you seriously rather be stuck with that than be the head of tours and programs? You know she's just going to make things more difficult after she gets reprimanded this afternoon.

Steven sighed. Yeah, I know.

Being a tour guide is exactly what you've been wanting to do since the day you started, and being the head of the entire department? Just think… you'd actually be in a higher position than Donna. Wouldn't you like to rub that in her face?

Steven chuckled to himself as he thought about Donna having to answer to him for a change. Yeah, actually, I quite like the thought of that.

Then what are you waiting for? 

You know what? You're right. Steven straightened. I deserve this position.

Damn right you do. Ever since we figured out how to work together you've been able to hold down your job just fine and haven't even been late once. You'll be great.

Steven moved over to the phone and pulled up the staff directory before dialing Dr. Y/L/N's extension.

“Yes, may I help you?” Dr. Y/L/N's voice said briskly over the line.

“Er, uh, Dr. Y/L/N, this is Steven… Steven Grant, from the gift shop?” Steven stammered out, suddenly losing his bravado.

Dr. Y/L/N's tone warmed immediately. “Yes, Steven, what can I do for you?”

Steven took a deep breath. “I've decided I don't need the week to think about your offer. I accept.”

“Wonderful!” Dr. Y/L/N sounded pleased. “I'll have HR start on the transfer paperwork right away so we can have you in your new position by next Monday. There's a couple of new Egyptian artifacts on loan from the Cairo Museum arriving on Thursday afternoon and we're wanting to have them installed by the beginning of next month, so hopefully we can have you settled and able to rework the tour to include them by then.”

Steven nodded even though he knew she couldn't see him. “That shouldn't be a problem. Thank you again for this opportunity, Dr. Y/L/N. I really appreciate it.” 

“You're welcome, Steven. I honestly think you'll thrive in your new position and I'm glad you accepted it.”

“Me too.”

“The museum board is introducing me to some benefactors in ten minutes so I'm afraid I've got to run in a few, but I'm looking forward to hearing your ideas on how to improve the current tours. Maybe we can talk more on Friday? I'll be meeting with the Curatorial department that morning to discuss placement of the new artifacts.” Dr. Y/L/N paused. “You know, actually, now that I think about it since you're going to be involved with that anyway I'd like you to sit in on that meeting as well, even if it's just to observe and check out the new artifacts for yourself.”

“Certainly, ma'am.”

“Ok, great. I'll let Donna know that I've scheduled another meeting with you and that your shift needs to be covered on Friday. What's your current schedule looking like for next week?”

Steven rolled his eyes, grateful that Dr. Y/L/N couldn't actually see him. “Donna has me doing inventory all next week.”

Dr. Y/L/N hummed. “Ok, well then it shouldn't be a problem to find someone else to cover that.”

“No, ma'am.”

“I'll see you Friday morning, then. Goodbye, Steven.”

“Goodbye.”

Steven hung up the phone. “Wow,” he said under his breath. “Wow, wow, wowee wow.”

Marc chuckled in his head. You've hit the big-time now.

“I get my own office. I get my own phone extension.” Steven's eyes widened. “I get my own business cards. ‘Steven Grant, Visitor Engagement Specialist’.”

Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Steven nodded. “I still can't believe it.”

Believe it, buddy. Life is looking up.

Steven grinned. "It is, isn't it?"

He knew one thing for certain -- he couldn't wait to prove to Dr. Y/L/N that she had made the right decision.

[thewulf]

That's a Kill Part 3 || Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Summary: Y/N Kazansky. The Admiral's daughter. You always had to prove yourself to the boys. The good old boys. You never thought much of any of them, knowing you were better than them. That was until you were called back to Top Gun. You meet Lieutenant Jake "Hangman" Seresin who drives you nuts, the first day. You start to fall for the man in front of you as he does the same. Jake meets the family!

A/N: Final part (I think)! I legit had so much fun writing this mini-series. It definitely helped as a writer! Please send in any requests! Hope you enjoy! Also - pretending Ice is completely okay - no cancer

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Y/N, Iceman x Daughter!Reader

Word Count: 5,200+

“Dad, please promise me you’ll be nice.” You stifled a groan as you talked to your dad over the phone.

Long story short. Mav caught you and Jake in a compromising position in the men’s locker room at Top Gun. Jake was called in to consult on a mission. You were both rather excited you’d be working together again, even if it was just for a week.

The two of you had been dating for the last six months. You finally gained the courage to tell your parents after Mav caught you. Mav found you with Jake on top of you getting ready to rip your flight suit off, you begged Mav not to tell Iceman. It was something you had to tell your dad, you and only you.

“I can’t promise anything Y/N.” Dad sounded not so thrilled.

You finally told your dad and family about Jake after Mav gave you an ultimatum. Either you needed to tell Ice within the next few weeks, or he would. You weren’t too surprised when you saw the look of horror cross your dads face when you told him. Tom knew it was a matter of time before you got involved with somebody, but it seemed to come out of left field. There was no warning, you just dropped the bomb on him.

If you thought dad was protective before… he kicked it up a notch after telling him about Lieutenant Jake Seresin. He reviewed all of Jake’s papers, scavenging through them to make sure there was nothing in his file. He asked you about a million questions in regard to him only stopping after you snapped at him. He was concerned, worried that his baby girl could get hurt.

“Dad!” This time you let the groan out, “Please promise me you will try. I really like him.” You admitted, not being the best at coming clean with your feelings. Especially when coming clean meant to your own father.

“Oh,” He paused, “You really like him? That changes things.” He spoke with a dry sarcasm dripping from his voice.

“Please.” You begged, sounding almost desperate.

You could hear him doing something in the background, stopping when you spoke last, “You really like him hmm?” He asked curiously. You seemingly finally broke through to him.

“Yes dad. I really like him. I even love…”

“Nope, stop right there. You can’t say that before I meet the damn kid.” He grumbled as he realized how serious you were about Jake. He didn’t know just how happy had made you over the last six months. Each and every time you saw him you swear you fell more and more in love with him.

“Dad! You can’t go into dinner with that attitude.”

“I’ll go into it however I want.”

You let a sigh out you had been holding in thinking you actually got somewhere with the man, “Dad, I’m 27 years old and this is my first legit boyfriend. Please, please I’m begging you, don’t run him out the door the second you meet him. You and mom were married and had already had Will at this point in your lives.”

He sensed the desperation in your voice and the point you were making, “Alright Y/N, I’ll be on my best behavior.” It was hard for him. His little girl was growing up. He knew you were right though. He had gotten married at 25 and had a kid by the time he was 27. You were here potentially just starting your life. He wanted to laugh knowing it was easier to let you go on that damn mission than it was to know you fell in love with someone.

“Thank you, dad.” You smiled as he finally agreed to your request, “He reminds me of you.”

“Now, wait a damn minute…”

“In a good way dad!” You interrupted him continuing before he could, “He’s one of the best aviators I’ve been around, he makes me better every time we’re in the air. You’d appreciate it, dad. He’s also so sweet to me but such an asshole in the field… reminds me of a certain guy I know.” You grinned realizing how much the two were like. Eerily similar.

Ice smiled hearing your rattle off your favorite qualities of your boyfriend, “He sounds fine.” Tom couldn’t admit it just yet, but you seemed happy with Jake. Genuinely happy. Ice noticed the way you gushed when you talked about him, it was the same way your mom swooned over him.

You laughed hearing your father try and accept it, “He is daddio. So nice. I think you’ll like him.”

“Don’t hold your breath.”

Shaking your head you continued, “As long as you try. That’s all I’m asking.”

“Then that’s what you’ll get.”

You suppressed the squeal you wanted to give him knowing it’d just irritate him, “Thank you dad!”

“Of course, sweetheart. Now, when can we expect you two?” He paced back and forth feeling slightly anxious at the prospect of you bringing a man into his home.

“Six still work? Jake gets off around four today.”

“That works.”

Doing a mini happy dance you replied to him, “Perfect. Can’t wait. See you tonight! Love you.”

“Love you too Y/N.”

Hanging up the phone you realized what you just gotten yourself into. You were bringing Jake Seresin to the admiral’s house. Your own fathers home. This was the final stamp of approval from the people you love in your life, your mom and dad. Mav was floored but thrilled when he caught you two. Phoenix couldn’t get enough of it. Although she never really believed you when you would tell her how loving Jake really was. Bradley was confused but happy for the pair. You just had to introduce him to your family now, no pressure or anything.

Walking through your apartment door you settled on the couch after a long day of flying. These Top Gun pilots were putting you through the ringer. You could never let your mask slip at work, you always had to be on at work. So, these moments where you could just sit and not think? Heaven.

You were pulled from your thoughts when the front door clicked open revealing your handsome boyfriend, “Hi.”

“Hello gorgeous girl.” He walked over to you throwing his head in your lap, legs sprawled out along the couch, “Rough day?” He asked as you absentmindedly played with his hair.

“Yeah, I have to deal with twenty Jake Seresin’s all day. Cocky arrogant aviator assholes.” You replied earning a hearty grin from Jake. You swore you’d never grow tired of those dimples. You couldn’t believe just how lucky you were to have him.

“They sound incredible.” He smiled even further if that was possible.

Rolling your eyes, you tried to lightly shove him off of you. He didn’t budge, “We’ve got to get ready for dinner.” You said as you tried to get him to move.

His smile dropped almost instantaneously, “With your dad?”

“And mom!”

Jake clicked his tongue attempting to play dumb with you, “Did I agree to that?”

Nodding you wrapped your arms around him, “You did, yesterday.” You bopped him on the nose earning a groan from the man.

“Are you sure?” He asked rolling his face into your thigh, hiding away.

“Mhmm.” You grinned down at him adoring how comfortable he was with you. You learned quickly that Jake was a physical touch kind of guy. If he wasn’t holding your hand, he had an arm around you should or on you back. It was an adjustment for you, but you’ve grown to love it, craving his touch, “Is that okay?”

“I guess.” He said softly while rolling back over to look up at you, “You’re so pretty.”

“And you’re changing the subject.” A light flush showed on your cheeks. Even after six months with him the simplest compliments still sent your heart into a frenzy.

He brushed his thumb over your cheek, “I like making you blush.” You could’ve melted right then and there with the look he was giving you. You knew how in love he was with you as his eyes gave him right away. He looked at you with the most admiration you’ve ever seen, like you were his world.

“You’re very good at it.” Giggling you too looked at him with the most admiration. You were officially a sucker for Jake Seresin.

It was scary at first, falling for him. He made it so easy for you. Truly, he was the perfect gentleman. You never opened your door, never pumped gas, always had a fresh set of flowers and were constantly showered in compliments. It was downright impossible not to fall for him as fast as you did. How could you not?

“I love you.” He said as he shifted off your lap but still sitting right next to you, “So much.” He took his hand, gently wrapping it around the back of your head pulling you closer to him. He wanted a kiss, and you’d happily oblige.

You really did live for these moments with him. These sweet romantic moments that happened in the comfort of your own homes. You and Jake technically still had separate places of residence, but he was at your apartment almost every day and night. He initially claimed it was closer to work (it was not) but you’d never say anything, you loved having him around.

“And I love you, so much.” You spoke after parting from the kiss. Resting your head on his forehead you continued, “You know who else will love you?”

He snuck in another quick kiss before replying, “Who?”

“My father.”

You felt the breath of air he let out, “I don’t know about that one sweetheart.” He sat back in his seat thinking all too hard.

“What’s got you worried?” You turned his head to look at you.

“Well for one you’re his daughter, his pride and joy. And two he is the Admiral of the Pacific Fleet.”

Nodding you snuggled into him this time, “He’s just dad.”

Jake chuckled, “He’s your dad darling.”

“Don’t worry, I already buttered him up.”

“Okay,” He kissed your forehead, “If you think it’s time to meet the parents then let’s do it.”

Grinning you threw yourself on top of him squeezing him into a hug, “Thank you Jake.” Whispering into his ear you felt a small shiver in response from him.

“Anything for you baby.” He squeezed you back, “I need to go shower again.”

You ignored him only holding him tighter not wanting to let go just yet. He continued, “If you don’t get up, you’re just coming with me.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Oh sweetheart, I’d never lie to you.” Smirking he lifted you effortlessly with him off the couch. You wrapped your legs around his torso. You felt him laughing as you kept your head tucked in his shoulder, “To the shower we go.”

You squeezed his hand lightly when you made it to the front door of your parents’ home, “You ready?” You asked him, wanting to make sure he was okay.

“As I’ll ever be.”

You rang the doorbell feeling weirdly calm knowing your mom would likely answer. She did. She always did.

“Y/N!” She wrapped you up in the biggest mom hug, “It’s so good to see you.”

“Hi mom.” You hugged her back with just as much vigor. You felt so blessed to have two loving parents that actually still loved each other.

She turned eyeing your boyfriend up and down sending you a nod of approval, “And you must be Jake.”

“Yes ma’am.” He nodded his head towards her, “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Kazansky.”

“Oh, call me Sarah.” She patted his arm before opening the door for you two, “Dad is in his office, he’ll be out shortly. Make yourself at home Jake.” She smiled at him before heading back into the kitchen.

You grabbed his hand, “Not so bad.”

“Yet.” He chuckled softly, “Your mom is lovely darling.”

“I agree, let’s go see if she needs any help.” You pulled him into the kitchen watching your mom chop some vegetables up for the salad.

Jake spoke up before you could, “This is a beautiful home, Sarah.”

“Thank you, Jake,” She smiled as she continued chopping, “The Navy does have its benefits.”

“That it does indeed.” He concurred with her. You didn’t try and stop the smile seeing the two of them converse. It seemed so normal. So domestic, “Need any help?”

“Oh no Jake.” She turned to you, “Y/N, show him around. Dad will be out shortly.”

You nodded grabbing his hand again, “Follow me!”

The two of you ended up in your childhood bedroom. Your mom wouldn’t let dad change it at all so Jake was seeing your true childhood bedroom in all its glory, purple walls and all. He plopped down on your bed taking in the surroundings, “This is cute.” He smirked.

“Don’t even start Lieutenant.” You eyed him giving him a playful glare.

Throwing his hands up in mock defense he stood up and wrapped you in hug, “Sorry sweetheart.”

“Suck up.” You hugged him back, “C’mon, let’s go. You’ve got to meet my dad.”

Lazily smiling he nodded, “Your wish is my command darling.” He let you pull him back throughout the house only pausing at the kitchen entryway spotting your dad next to his wife. Gulping he took another small step forward standing just behind you.

“Hello sir.” He gave dad a curt nod unsure of what to do next.

You gave dad a look, one that told him to play nice.

“Hangman. How’d you get that call sign?” Your dad eyed him harshly, something he usually only reserved for when he was angry. You shot him a wide-eyed look trying to diffuse the tension your father unnecessarily added. Straight to the questions. You shouldn’t have expected anything less.

You had never seen Jake so nervous before, Ice was quite an intimidating man. You squeezed his arm urging him to respond, “Well sir I…” He stuttered eliciting another squeeze from you, “I suggested playing hangman as an icebreaker when the squadron first met… sir.”

Tom narrowed his gaze, “That’s it.”

Nodding quickly, Jake smiled softly, “That’s it.” You could feel a small amount of tension release from him. So far, not so bad you thought.

“So, dad.” You tried your best to change the conversation, “Anything coming down the line? Any secret missions?”

Your dad huffed, “None that I can tell you about.” He finally broke the stare down on Jake. His demeanor changed as he turned to you. His gaze softened as he returned to dad, not the admiral, “Come here, give your old man a hug.”

Walking over to him, you gave him a tight squeeze, “Be nice.” You whispered to him, only your mom hearing.

He pinched your arm lightly letting you know he got the message, “Good to see you kid.”

“Likewise.” You punched his shoulder before returning back to Jake. Noticing how tense he was you smiled brightly at him, settling yourself in front of him again.

“Jake,” Your mom chimed in sensing the slight tension in the room, “Y/N tells us you’re a pilot as well?”

“Yes ma’am.” His southern drawl comes through ever so slightly making you weak at the knees, “Strike Fighter Squadron 151, the Vigilantes. Although, I do miss being a part of the dagger squad.” He smiled down at you softly almost forgetting your parents were right there.

“I heard all about it.” Your mom laughed recalling the yelling match between you and Ice. He was obviously furious when you got back from the mission even going so far as to threaten to ground you, air wise. You almost let him get the better of you, but you forced him to understand your reasoning. He understood why you went back to help Mav, but he didn’t agree with it. Of course, he loved Maverick, but you were his daughter he’d always pick you over him.

“Jake saved our asses.” Reaching behind you, you found one of his hands. You ran your fingers up and down the back of it hoping it brought him comfort.

“Shouldn’t have been in the situation to begin with.” Ice grumbled taking a seat at the table.

Shaking your head you replied, “We’ve already gotten into this dad. No need to bring it up again.” Sitting down across from him you sent him a look of irritation.

Your dad shot you a small smile knowing how badly you wanted this to go well. You motioned for Jake to come join you at the table.

Ice turned his attention to your boyfriend, “Hangman. What are your intentions with my daughter?”

“Dad!” You placed your hand on Jake’s thigh knowing it’d help, even just a bit.

He shrugged, “It’s a question Y/N.”

Jake leaned forward looking confident once again, “Sir, would you like the honest truth or the one I’m supposed to tell you?”

Your dad eyed him curiously, “The truth.” Mom made her way over sitting down next to her husband.

Jake smiled at her before turning back to Ice, “I intend to marry your daughter, sir.”

Your head snapped in Jake’s direction giving him a bewildered look. You hadn’t spoken about marriage with him. That topic was so far off your mind it didn’t even seem conceivable, yet. Your mom looked over the moon for just having met him. Ice nodded his head slowly observing Jake not expecting that answer.

Jake smiled down at you fondly seeing your shocked expression. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder pulling you into him, “Sir. I know you don’t want to hear this. But I’m so in love with your daughter. I would do anything for her. She’s made me the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. And my momma always told me you never let a good thing go. Y/N here… she’s the best thing. The best thing that’s ever happened to me. I have every intention on settling down, marrying, and starting a family with your daughter. If she’s okay with that.” Thankful that Jake was holding onto you, you looked up at him seeing that he was nodding at you. Confirming what he said. He had every intention of making you his wife.

You were convinced your heart might just beat right out of your chest. You were wholly not prepared for Jake to lay it down like that. To put his intentions out there in front of your mom and dad.  Sure, the two of you talked about the future but for Jake to put it all out there like that? With such certainty? So much was going through your head you hardly heard you dad start speaking again.

Ice leaned back in his chair, your mom watching him expectantly, “Well Lieutenant. You seem to have the right intentions. I just need you to show me now.”

“Absolutely sir.” Jake beamed as he grew in confidence gaining a little respect from the Naval Admiral. Jake looked up to your father. Admitting what he just had to him was no easy task, but he needed to. Jake needed Ice to know just how much he adored you

You still hadn’t managed to find the right words to continue the conversation with the three of them. He wanted to marry you? He wanted to make you his wife? He wanted to have kids with you? You can’t imagine what you’ve done so right in your life to deserve the love you got from Jake, but you were so beyond thankful you had it.

“Isn’t that right Y/N?” Your mom asked.

“Oh sorry, what was that mom?”

She grinned seeing the realization of what Jake had said to your father come across your face, “I was just saying you seem happy.”

“I’m happy.” You broke eye contact with mom opting to look back up at Jake, “Very happy.”

“Let’s eat.” Your dad interrupted the moment, clearly uncomfortable with all of the emotions flying around.

Throughout dinner you saw that both your father and Jake seemed to relax a bit as casual conversation flowed, rather easily. The steak your mom made being a hot topic of discussion. Your fathers looks softened substantially throughout the meal. He even cracked a few jokes with Jake, joking with him about his call sign. Your dad definitely assumed the worst when he heard it.

After another bottle of wine split between the group the laughter started. A permanent rose shade graced your cheeks after your third bottle. Before you knew it the two couples had sat there talking, eating, and drinking for two hours. You thought the dinner would go okay. But this was more than you could have wished for. Your dad had warmed up to him quicker than anyone you had seen before.

“Jake.” Your dad smiled over to him. You grinned watching the interaction between them beyond thrilled dad had used his first name.

“Yeah?”

He leaned forward after setting his napkin on the plate, “Nightcap in my office?”

Jake nodded, “Absolutely.”

You were smiling so hard your cheeks started burning. You gave his thigh a squeeze before he stood up, following your dad away from the kitchen. He shot you a wink before he left fully.

You and your mom cleaned up before settling in the living room, “You didn’t tell me it was this serious Y/N.” The smile on her face was something to see. You could tell how excited she was. She had wanted you to get out there and live a life outside of the Navy, which included dating. It was never a priority for you and your mom knew that. But after hearing what Jake had to say and seeing how he dotingly looked down at you she knew Jake was special.

You turned to her grinning from ear to ear, “He’s never said that before. I don’t think I realized how serious it was.” You admitted to her.

“He’s in love with you Y/N. Very much in love with you. Anybody can see it, even your father. I didn’t tell you this, but he approves so far. Jake’s little speech made quite the impression.”

Eyes wide you continued looking at her, “Really?”

She nodded her head, “Dad just wants the best for you sweetie. For you to be happy. You glow when you’re around him. He seems to be what’s best for you.”

You scooted closer to her on the couch laying your head on her shoulder, “I love him so much mom. He’s so good to me. He treats me better than anybody has. I just… I love him.”

She smiled softly brushing a strand of hair out of your face, “I’m so happy for you. It’s quite the feeling, isn’t it?”

“It’s the best feeling in the world.” You agreed with her.

The two of you continued to chat for the next thirty minutes or so before Jake and dad returned from his office. The two of them had smiles on their faces as they joined you and mom in the living room. You couldn’t describe the feeling seeing your dad smile at your boyfriend like that, like he was already part of the family.

“Ready to go home sweetheart?” Jake asked still standing, “Early morning at Top Gun.”

You nodded kissing your mom on the cheek. You gave your dad a big hug whispering, “Thank you dad.” In his ear before releasing him from your grip.

“Anytime. I’ll call you tomorrow.” You dad kissed you on the head before giving a brief nod to Jake.

“Jake, it was nice to meet you. Keep making my daughter happy.” Dad stuck his hand out for Jake to take.

Jake shook his hand with a newly found confidence, “I have no other plans, sir.”

The ride home was filled with comfortable silence. The night shifted into one you could’ve only dreamed of with Jake laying his heart on the line like that. You know your dad was impressed. The way he began to smile more throughout the dinner and asked Jake genuine questions made your heart soar. The two most important men in your life met each other and got off to a really good start.

Holding his hand you turned to him, “Dad likes you.”

He didn’t take his eyes off the road but ran his thumb along your finger, “You think?”

“I know. He stopped treating you like a Lieutenant and started treating you like Jake, my handsome hunky Naval aviator boyfriend.”

He laughed at your response, never failing to love your personality, “Well that’s good.”

“It’s more than good!”

You saw the tension release from his body, “I was so nervous.”

“I know.” You leaned down to kiss his knuckles, “But you did so good baby.”

Squeezing your hand he replied, “And your mom?”

“She loved you the second you stepped foot into the house.”

He didn’t hide his beaming smile as he continued to look ahead on the road, never daring to take his eyes off the road when you were a passenger, “They’re great people.”

“They really are. I’m the luckiest girl in the world. I get to have them, and I get to love you. I don’t need anything else.” You didn’t want to ask him what they talked about back in your dad’s office, maybe another time. You were riding out a high nothing could vanquish.

Jake felt his heart rate pick up at your vulnerability. Truth be told he wasn’t planning on his little monologue earlier but when he had Ice’s eyes on him like that he had to. He had to express just how important you were to him. He knew very early on in the relationship that you’d be the one he was going to marry. Jake’s grandma gave him a ring after divulging all the details to the family. He was planning on getting it refurbished once he knew what style of ring you liked.

He wasn’t planning on proposing to you anytime soon but after tonight? All bets were off. Practically, he knew he needed to wait another six months for the optics of it all. It wouldn’t look good proposing to you only six months in, but did he want to. He would wait because he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. But if you wanted to get married tomorrow at the courthouse, he’d be all in.

You two were well out of the honeymoon phase and only seemed to grow closer with each passing day. Your love grew and then grew some more. You wanted to be around him all the time, touching him some way all the time.

“You’re the sweetest girl I know.” He brought your hand to his lips, kissing it softly, “I have everything I need too. You’re it Y/N.”

He pulled into your driveway shutting the car off. Quickly hopping out to get the door for you. Hand in hand the two of you walked inside not being able to take your eyes off each other.

“You really want to marry me?” You asked him feeling all sorts of emotions. You needed to ask him, to make sure what he confessed was true. You knew it was true, but you desired to hear it.

He closed the minimal distance between you two, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, “I want to marry you sweetheart. So, fucking bad.”

“And start a family?” Your head was swimming in all the thoughts you had. Jake was a straight shooter. He didn’t have anything to hide from you anymore. This is what he wanted, and he needed you to know it, desperately hoping you felt the same.

He nodded placing a kiss on your cheek, hands on your shoulders, “I’d love to have kids with you Y/N. As many as you want.”

“Really?” Feeling your legs beginning to tremble you leaned into him for some stability. Of course, the two of you expressed just how much you loved one another. But this? This was a life changing conversation. This, quite literally, left you weak at the knees. There’s nothing more that you could’ve asked for.

He placed a gentle kiss on your other cheek, “Yes sweetheart. I want to do everything with you. I want to build a life with you.”

“How many kids do you want?” You questioned again all of this starting to feel like too much. In the best way, of course.

Grinning he placed a kiss on your nose, “I think three is a good number.”

“Three kids.” You bit your lip taking it all in. It was easy to imagine a future with him. Three little blond-haired babies running around sounded like a dream. Three of him.

“Three of you.” He smiled placing a kiss right on your lips.

“And you.” You kissed him back as you ran your hands up his neck to his hair, deepening the kiss as you pulled him closer. He let a soft groan out. You knew what you were doing. Jake was a sucker for your hands in his hair.

“You’re killing me darling.” He whispered right in your ear. Jake also knew what he was doing. For as much as you knew about him, he probably knew double that about you.

Smiling you batted your eyelashes just how he liked. You knew Jake through and through knowing what set him off, “I’d love to have three babies with you Lieutenant.” You continued to run your hands across his hair eliciting another moan from the man.

“Yeah?” He asked as he pulled your waist into his body.

“Hell yeah Jake.” You whispered into his ear feeling just how excited he was, bodies sandwiched together.

“What do you say then Kazansky, should we practice making some babies?”

Nodding your head eagerly you replied, “That sounds very enticing Seresin.” You leaned up to kiss him again.

Smirking he kissed you back right before he picked you up, “Hey!” You laughed clinging to him like you had previously in the day.

“I can’t have my sweet girl walk all the way to the bedroom, now can I?”

Giggling and shaking your head it hit you how damn happy you were. How lucky you were to find Jake when you did. From the outside looking in people might’ve thought you two were moving too fast, but it felt so right to you. You had never been so sure of anything, other than becoming a pilot, when it came to loving Jake. He made you feel like the absolute luckiest girl in the world.

“I love you, Jake.” Kissing his neck, you loved to see how he reacted to your touch. You always managed to get a shiver or chill out of him.

“And I love you. Let me show you just how much I do.” Smirking, he winked down at you hightailing it for your room.

[zot3-flopped]

https://www.reddit.com/r/travisandtaylor/comments/1d50evf/taylor_swift_goes_off_when_questioned_about_her/

Disregard the opinion blogpost linked here and check out the comments by QuestioningStega confirming that Taylor uses ghostwriters.

They say: "I can confirm that Taylor uses ghost writers (I have friends who write for her), and that she also often gets jealous if you write too many "hits," and will fire writers constantly (even those who write popular songs). She does write some of her own songs! And many people I know think their lack of success is what drives her nuts. But she uses a legion of ghost writers." "Typically when we ghost write, we write both lyric and melody! We often work in teams, and with a lot of artists I've worked for they have writers who have been around for a while to help us write "in their voice." From what I've heard, Taylor's team will often go over songs with the ghost writers! Also she'll often change songs that are already written. I'm aware of at least a few songs that were totally finished and handed off, only for her to butcher them in order to "add lore."" "I can confirm, for example, that 1989 has almost zero lyrics or melodies written by Taylor on it."

"All of our NDAs are lifelong NDAs. They're paying us to pretend they wrote these songs forever. There's no chance they'd risk being outed as a liar down the line. Oh yeah, the pay is definitely worth it! I think a lot of us have been in the industry long enough to know that "making it big" has way less to do with being a good writer, and way more to do with what you look like/who your dad knows/do you fit the demo that the label wants to hit right now. So for us, we're not looking at this thinking "oh man! They made $250,000 on that song, and I only got paid $15,000 for it (or whatever)." Any more than someone coding at Apple is annoyed that their code powers an iPhone, and they're only making $80,000 a year. For me, I'm married and have three kids! I make more than enough to happily do that and spend exorbitant amounts of time at home with them. So any loss of being able to say "hey I wrote that!" Is more than made up for by the hours I'm at home with my kids."

Grain of salt of course, but this person does come across as very knowledgeable. The fact that Taylor has "eras" with wildly different sounds and word usage makes sense if she didn't write much of it at all. I could believe she wrote the entirety of TTPD though with how meandering it was.

Very interesting.