#idk. idk how to explain it and when i do it sounds fucking dumb

[caffeinatedopossum]

Haha what if all the overwhelming rage I'm suddenly feeling is actually just 21 years of accumulated injustices that I'm only now starting to feel because my self esteem is improving. But then because it's so overwhelming that it feels genuinely unsafe to both myself and those around me for me to express it, I have to repress it further and the only way I know how to do that is to lower my self esteem again so that I don't feel angry cause I no longer feel like I ever deserved better

[nomairuins]

the difficulty of trying 2 explain to ppl that im Not being self deprecating or belittling my mental illnesses when i say something that could be perceived as overly critical towards myself but that thise things actually r true abt me. ppl did die.

[exopelagic]

I have been in this city for ONE WEEK and I’m ready to leave forever

[changisworld]

Skz with possessive reader? 🤭 like reader is still a sub but can be veery jealous. Like if she sees a fan flirting with a member she wouldn't let go of that member (did i explain it enough? Idk😭please tell me if i did) and what do you think how would members react?? hihi just my thoughts (its supposed to be smut-) 😭

-🦇

YAMMYYAMMYYAMMY this would be so me i swear

I think leeknow, seungmin & also hyunjin would be SOOOO obsessed with the idea of you being possessive, especially right in front of their face BXBSBSBSB, holding their hand in front of any girl that speaks to them, purposely not laughing at anything the other person says but laughing a moment later if your boyfriend says something even less interesting, purposely kissing his cheek a few too many times knowing lipstick or lipgloss would stain their cheek, just to show they really are yours & yours only.

Would definitely make it up to you as soon as you got home by fucking you into the mattress, teasing you on your behaviour as your eyes are going teary from how good he’s fucking you.

“you like this cock don’t you, hmm? seem to be so jealous of anyone who steps near it”

“made for you, would never dare give it to anyone else, unless that’s what you’re wanting hmm? jealous jealous girl”

“so hot when you’re so protective y’know that? almost wanted to fuck you right there”

on the other hand, i think han, felix & probably changbin would be SO flustered by it!! the way your voice sounds more monotone while talking to the girl who you can swear flirted with them just by breathing too close to them! once you’ve successfully got the girl to get the hint & fuck off, you can feel your boyfriends eyes burning into the side of your face, honestly kinda star struck

of course once you have time for yourselves they’re so so quick to show you how much they love YOU & don’t want anyone else!

“so so pretty, so lucky for you, you look so cute when you’re jealous”

“so protective of me, makes me melt”

definitely buys you or makes you a gift to further show how much YOU mean to them🥲

OKAY so jeongin & bangchan i feel like they would get insanely turned on from it.. because why the hell wouldn’t they when you’re latching yourself onto his arm like a sloth pretty much & pretty much ushering them away from whoever you deemed was flirting or being too nice to them. the thing is though, they probably never catch on at first that you’re jealous & they probably just assume you’re tired or feeling a bit sick or something & they feel so silly when it finally clicks in their head.

they for sure try to tease you by acting even more dumb & asking you outright why you were acting that way, & the second you tell them that you WERE in fact jealous, they know just the way to make it up to you.

“i’m all yours, lemme show you how much i care, hmm?”

“you’re perfect for me & me only, don’t get jealous over anyone because they don’t compare, just look at you”

“if you could feel how good you feel trust me you’d never even want or need to be jealous of anyone else” he groans as he presses his tip past your folds

main masterlist here

->anon list & tag list are open!

@jisungml

[really-bibi]

【ｊｕｓｔ　ｃｈｏｏｓｅ！】

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚pairing: ot8 poly skz x reader ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖summary: your boyfriends want to know who the biggest is, and they came up with an.. umm.. let's just say, interesting solution. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚warnings/genre: suggestive, mentions of fucking, dick comparison, polyamorous relationship, its honestly just awkward, i tried to make it kinda funny but my humor is absolute shit ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖notes: MINORS DNI! pls what is this absolute shit that i wrote its genuinely so bad but idk what to write anymore!! wtf do i do but anyways, english isn't my first language, so there might be grammar issues and such. enjoy if you can ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you woke up from your nap for the 4th time at the sound of your boyfriends arguing. god, why were they like this.. after a few minutes of contemplating your life decisions, minho comes and picks you up. "LEE MINHO, PUT ME DOWN RIGHT THIS INS-", just slings you over his shoulder and carries you up to the bedroom. as you got closer, the sounds of the ruckus got louder. great. weren't you just in the perfect mood for this. "someone please explain why all nine of us are in here right now.." you said, after being dragged into the room. all of them just started mumbling incoherently, like they were embarrassed about what they were arguing about. "ok bitch get to the point." "so who's bigger?", yes, that was jeongin. "what the FUCK", you replied. "well you said get to the point", "why are you so blunt about i-" "no but like you don't have to be so straightforward" "guys you can clearly see that she's uncomfortabl-" "ok everyone SHUT THE FUCK UP and let her choose" "yeah just choose!", yes, this is still jeongin. "i'm not doing that." "why nott" "she just doesn't want to hurt your feelings when she admits it's me", said seungmin. "oh please, we all know she's gonna pick me." "guys please this is stupid", "ok just admit yours is small jisung." uhh it's okay. they'll get over it. one day. unfortunately, that day won't be today. "let's have a contest!" "what are we even gonna do? see who can fuck her the best? that's pathe-" "YES ABSOLUTELY" "um guys i don't think that's the best idea..", you said. "i mean like size doesn't really matter if you know how to use it" and here comes the maknae again. ready to guilt trip you into their plan that you can't tell if they really made to solve their argument, or they just made to have an excuse to fuck you dumb. "pleeaaassssee-" "fuck you i'll do it." honestly, you kinda wanted to do it. just as an excuse to get fucked dumb. "well who's going first?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ a/n: i can't write smut for my LIFE idk what im gonna do about part 2.. this is worse than my first fanfictions i fear!! i hate this so much but im gonna post it anyway because i haven't posted in like a month

[eee-lordy]

Hiiii! Can you write about jacob elordi x fem reader who is in charge of the makeup and outfits on saltburn or elvis?

Maybe there is a video going viral where he is looking at her (WITH THOSE PUPPY DOG EYES HAHSHAJDVDSJ IM GONNA EAT HIM) while she is doing his make up and she is clueless, yk those videos where the music is lana del rey and the caption is like "me when im literaly obsessed with her" or "when hes completely in love with u>>>>>"

And when that goes viral, the cast teases him and they go on a date?

Idk i think its cute :3

───※ ·❆· ※───

You were never one to get star struck. In the year and a half you'd been professionally applying makeup to the mugs of many stars, you'd been unfazed by celebrities captivating auras. You hardly blushed when Chris Pine tried asking you out as he sat in your makeup chair. You'd laughed in understandable assurance as Billie Eilish apologized for almost knocking your powder kit from your grasp; when her brother burst in the room to surprise her. You saw your clients as just that, people who trusted you to properly apply blush and fake scars.

But all the composure you'd been proud to claim went out the window when you'd been assigned to work with the cast of Sofia Coppola new film. You hadn't expected to lose your cool. In fact, you'd been rolling your eyes as the hair stylist that shared your caravan had droned on and on about this new Elordi fellow and how dreamy he was. Some of the other workers in the hair and makeup department parroted her yearning for the guy. But you were certain you'd remain calm and cool in this supposed deities presence.

And then he sat down in your chair. And he looked up to you with an intriguing set of droopy dark eyes. And you knew Jacob Elordi was about to be a real problem for you.

It wasn't his fame. You weren't swept up by his essence because of the collective crowd on the internet drooling over the guy. It wasn't even his magnetism. Because he did have a lot of that, you wavered it was necessary to survive fame. But it was more the way he would look up at you from that make up chair. With those dumb stupid big beautiful eyes.  And his smile that followed. And then the infuriating way he'd start conversations with you, those first few days on set.

"What'd you have for breakfast this morning?" Jacob would wonder, watching as you readied a sponge. You would answer and ask for his in return. He would mention stopping by a cafe earlier and go on to ask you where you grew up and if you liked it there and what the best book you've ever read was called. 

"You've got to stop chatting away, makes it hard to do your touch up's." You'd smile, reaching out to adjust Jacobs perfect fucking face so you could work on his brows. 

"Sorry." He breathed out, seemingly genuinely guilty. He went on explaining himself still, slowly as you continued to do your job. "Don't like awkward silence. Or bullshit small talk. Getting to know you seemed like the safest route. Since you'll be covering the dark circles under my eye's this whole shoot."

You laughed in understanding before announcing that you got it, and waved over the hairdresser on site today. 

"Wait, before you go, that book you mentioned..." Jacob pointed your way as you turned for closing up your kit of brushes. Then you watched as the guy wrestled his cellphone from his jacket pocket. "Here," Jacob said, extending the device your way. "Write the title in my notes app. I will forget, but I don't want too. It sounded properly readable."

"Oh." You turned your lips down in a twisted grin of surprise. As you took the device from Jacob's grasp, you felt a surge of gratification that the guy trusted you enough with his phone let alone wanted to read a book you mention not having read since uni. 

Not missing the way the hairdresser rolled her eyes, you grinned and found Jacobs notes app with ease, straining not to glance beyond your means. With the press of a few buttons you wrote down the title, and fought off the impulsive urge to include your very own phone number as well. That would be embarrassing, knowing full well this man would never call or text or probably even dare to glance your way beyond the makeup chair. 

///

The next few weeks went by the same. Jacob would yammer away until you almost had to hold his mouth shut to finish his makeup. And you would fill the silence by telling stories of your own, because he'd mentioned he wasn't fond of silence and you knew your job went beyond applying lip liner, it was also to keep celebrities happy as royalty.

And all the while you blinked away thoughts of how funny he was. How beautiful Jacob was. You wouldn't let yourself realize he was exactly your type. You wouldn't let yourself dream that you might be his. You simply relished the times you made him laugh. Once you made him laugh so hard he cried, tear tracks ruining the powder you'd only just applied. 

The hairdresser who was the leader of fawning over Jacob as soon as he left the room had taken to frowning in your direction most days. You reckoned it was because she'd never been able to make him laugh that hard, or at all, ever. And the stories she told him when he asked her to seemed to lose his interest halfway through every time. Try as Jacob might, you saw his eyes glaze over as the hairstylist droned on about her retirement plan or the grocery list she'd put together that day.

After acknowledging her sorry excuse for conversation Jacob would stop you from packing up and heading to lunch so he could ask you for more books to read, more films to watch, more stories from you. Then his assistant would interrupt, or he'd be called to set and you'd be left to head to the craft table with dangerous feelings of lust and intrigue to push away. You would not let this boy break you of your career long streak of professionalism, damn it.

///

One night, in the middle of a week break from set, you spent an evening scrolling mindlessly. When a tiktok with Jacob's name in the tags popped up, you scrolled away at the speed of light. You didn't let yourself linger too long on posts with him there, not wanting to know anything good bad or otherwise so long as you were assigned to work with him on this project. But it wasn't long before another tiktok popped up featuring the guy in a very familiar setting. He was too famous at this point. You watched as you saw leaked footage from behind the scenes of Priscilla, but weren't too shocked. The stars of the film were occasionally being interviewed by publicists between takes to document their experience, beginning to promote the film.

And maybe you let yourself keep watching out of a sense of entitlement, you'd been working on this set. You could watch a video of Jacob from work, right? You couldn't tear your eyes from him no matter how hard you tried now anyway. You watched as the person holding the camera zoomed in on the guy while he adjusted his suit jacket. You watched as he seemed to talk to the costars at his side. You watched as he looked up and smiled. And you couldn't help but melt a little at the sight, he seemed so happy, so at ease. And then you watched as Jacob's grin widened as he waved someone closer. And much to your horror, you saw yourself step into frame. 

You remembered that day, where you waited on the side lines to fix Cailee's eyeliner. While the director was storming up a new camera angle, Jacob waved you over to mention the last chapter of your favorite book he'd almost finished reading. He was laughing over a bit that you'd warned him about the week before. And you were laughing over how excited he was about it, finally having someone to gush over your favorite plot with.

Now, huddled beneath the blankets of your bed, you slammed your phone down at your side, bewildered to know someone had caught your interaction on camera. Raddled to have just seen Jacob lighting up at the sight of you. Angry at yourself for hopping you'd read his body language in a way that suggested he really liked you that much.

When you picked your phone back up, you watched the candid moment over and over, trying to debunk Jacob's smile. Trying to convince yourself he was only being friendly, only cared because he had to find someone to mingle with during down beats. 

And then you read the comments. 

"If Jacob smiled at me like that, I would die."

"Imagine making him laugh like that she's so lucky."

"Who is she??" One comment read. "Her last name will be Elordi if he hasn't married her already, calling it." Someone replied.

You shouldn't have read the comments.

///

When you were due back on set you swallowed away the excitement bubbling up in you at the prospect of seeing Jacob again. This was so unlike you, to be awaiting the arrival of your client with an embarrassing giddiness. As you reminded yourself that this was your job and Jacob was simply a guest in your makeup chair- the man himself eased into the caravan, ready to get ready for the day.

"Hey, you! I had a bunch of points earned up to get two free coffees so I brought you one. I remember you said you like almond milk so I asked for that." Jacob was all smiles as he extended a latte to you. Awe fuck. 

"Thank you, Jacob." You struggled not to sigh with angst as you accepted his very generous surprise. Luckily, he seemed none the wiser that you'd answered through gritted teeth. He just kept smiling as he headed to your chair.

"Oh, me first today lovie. Need to start your dye straight off, you're little makeup girlfriend will have to wait." The hairdresser announced, daring to grab Jacob by his sleeve, yanking him toward her end of the trailer. The other workers around rolled their eyes, sick of her endless commentary. You bit your tongue as you leaned against the counter, shaking your head when a coworker scoffed in the hairdresser's direction. Luckily, Cailee waltz in, ready for you before anyone else. You thanked God for the distraction, readying your brow pencil and chatted to the girl about her break from set. 

All the while, your least favorite coworkers voice demanded to be the loudest in the room. She made everyone listen to some boring ass story and practically whinnied when Jacob got up to trade Cailee places. 

"No offence, you're fine and all, just don't have hair as silky smooth as Jacob's." The hairdresser told Cailee but made sure her comment was loud enough for everyone to hear. "Oh wait, silly me," 

As Jacob settled in the makeup chair and began to ask if the drink he'd brought you was good, the hairdresser of your nightmares shoved her way between you and the person you were meant to be working on. 

"I left of a bobby pin, how'd I forget," She droned in an annoying pitch, nearly shoving you over in her attempt to get closer to Jacob. 

"Can you please get out of my space?" You called, annoyed that she was pushing you away from your station without a single polite excuse.

"Can you please stop being such a jealous bitch?" The hairdresser whipped to face you with a manic smile.

"Oh my God?" You almost laughed in shock at her comment when another coworker dared to reach out and pulled her away, and out of the trailer. Another hairdresser apologized to the room for the previous girl's behavior and stepped up to lead charge of Cailee's wig.

With no time to shake the rage that had been born in you, you pushed it down, biting your lip hard as you went about finding the right sponge for Jacob's foundation. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, seemingly worried. And that pissed you off too. Why'd he have to act like he cared so much? Why'd he have to be so damn wonderful?

"I'm fine. Thank you again for the coffee, it...is kind of bitter but it was a really sweet gesture, I swear. Close your eye's please." You responded as calm and cool as possible.

"Bitter... sweet..." Jacob winked, just for you to see. It was the best thing you'd ever witness. And the worst all the same. You were sure you blushed. You tilted his chin and struggling to suppress how much you'd miss when you didn't get to be this close to him. He stayed quiet as you finished his face, and so did you. When his makeup was done, almost everyone else had left the trailer. The last remaining beautician was walking out as you'd closed the case to your kit. 

"I thought you didn't like awkward silence." You dared to mention, as Jacob stood to leave. It wasn't like you'd thought to ask. It was just a thought that ended up blurted out. And then you were bold enough still to look up and right at the guy with those perfectly shaped eyes to find he'd already been staring right at you. 

"S'not so awkward with you."

You really wish he hadn't said that. You really wished you'd never prompted him too. You really wished he wasn't still standing there looking across the features of your face like he was waiting on you to respond. There was a knock on the door just in time, and a voice calling for Jacob to hurry to set. 

"I'll see you after lunch, right?" Jacob wondered as he moved toward the door. You muttered something like "Yeah sure," as you turned to start collecting your things. As far as Jacob knew you were headed to the craft table. But as your feet started marching out of the trailer, you found yourself headed toward the manager of the crew you'd been hired in with. You explained to her that you really thought it was best you turned in your resignation. 

You'd never dared yourself to tread the line during work. Never been so enamored with someone you were meant to be professional with. It wasn't in your best interest to see how far this went. And it wasn't in Jacobs best interest that you kept lingering around distracting him with stories and novel suggestions.

So, on a decided whim, you packed your things, swallowed frustrated tears, and headed home for good.

///

You let yourself be mad once your front door was shut and locked. You threw away the stupid coffee Jacob bought you. You turned the telly off and tossed the remote toward the hardwood when Euphoria came on. You muttered and cursed and slammed cabinets as you made a carb heavy comfort meal and called your best friend. 

The day went on and turned to night as you tried to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You began getting ready for bed, talking yourself into sleeping off all the weird feelings and events that had transpired today. Tomorrow, you'd find a new job and make sure to decline any with that one awful hairdressers name on the list of beauticians. 

As you sat on the edge of your bed and set a reminder for yourself to job hunt tomorrow afternoon, a notification interrupted your typing. 

Instagram was alerting you that one certain Jacob Elordi was sending you a fucking message. He'd followed you a couple weeks ago, when you handed him your phone to show him a picture of your beloved childhood pet. He scrolled away from it and found your handle to promptly pull up on his very own Instagram, following you with a smile.

Your eyes widened and your thumb worked faster than your brain, clicking the popup before you could talk yourself out of it. Oh, shit now he was going to know you opened his fucking stupid ass message. You really wished you hadn't met this boy. He wasn't even here and he was torturing your every thought. 

"You were NOT there after lunch as promised. Call me? xx"

Before your eyes displayed a row of numbers that if pressed would call Jacob Elordi's cell phone. You tried really hard to talk yourself out of it. But being away from him for the last ten hours had really done a number on your heart. It missed him more than your brain was afraid to admit. Your thumb clicked the numbers. Your phone started to ring. 

After one buzz he answered. 

"I got off set to hear you'd quit and left me to bear that horrid hairdresser without you? Was the coffee really that bad?" Jacob's voice crackled through the line, soft and saccharine. You chuckled morosely at his coffee joke before responding.

"No pleasant greeting. What if it wasn't me calling? What if it was some crazy fan girl?" You dared to venture. 

"Are you saying you're not a fan of mine?"

You wanted to assure him that you were probably his biggest, but sighed in place of a response, struggling to choose your words. 

"What happened? That hairdresser should be fired. You shouldn't've left." Jacob spoke, as you watched the traffic out your window and relished the sound of his voice in your ear. 

"It..." You couldn't help it. You couldn't hide it any longer. "It wasn't really her. I quit because of you, Jacob."

"Me? I- I'm sorry I thought we-" He sounded too worried, and you realized you'd spoken a little too cryptically.

"Not because you did anything wrong." You hurried to explain, interrupting his unnecessary apology. "It's me, not you." 

"Is this a break up? I never even got to ask you on a proper date." He laughed a humorless laugh.

"That's the thing." You said. "I like you way more than I should've ever let myself. It's too unprofessional for me to work with you and have these feelings. I'm sorry, I shouldn't even be telling you this. Everyone treats you like a piece of meat, I hate that I-"

"So... what I'm hearing..." Jacob's voice rose a bit as he interrupted you, catching your attention off guard. "Is that I can actually ask you on a proper date? And this doesn't have to be a break up at all."

"Oh! I- wait are you joking?" You blurted, shocked by the tone of his voice and the fact that it seemed like Jacob Elordi was asking you out. 

"I like you too, dummy. I've been doing my damnedest to make that clear. You know I don't just follow every wardrobe artist on Instagram and bring camera men cafe treats. I used my free coffee on you! I'm so sorry it was no good though." 

"It wasn't the worst coffee ever." You smiled, feeling a calm and hopeful buzz wash over you. 

"Well, let me take you on a proper date, for a proper cup of coffee, and talk you back on set." 

"I can date you, or be your makeup artist, but I will not allow myself to do both. I have a very strict moral compass as a working lady." 

"I'll choose the first option then by a long shot." You could hear Jacob's smile in the tone of his voice. You let him ramble a little longer about the day he'd had and how bad he felt that you'd been moved to quit. He asked you to meet him at the cafe across from the set during lunch tomorrow, and you promised you would in fact show up without a doubt this time. 

Fuck finding a new job tomorrow. You were going on an absolute dream date with Jacob. But you were most definitely ordering your own��coffee.

[tang3r1n]

still on my shitty dabi kick and i think i struck a chord with @mostlyheinous so here’s random ass shit i think a deadbeat bf dabi would do

18+, hard dubcon, gaslighting, manipulation, smoking, forced drinking/taking of drugs, dabi purposely makes you have a bad trip on acid, unprotected sex, anal (referenced plus a thumb in the stink) i’ll add more idfk

kay first off, along the smoke vein, dabi would absolutely threaten to put his cigarettes/blunts out on you if you keep crying (openly, he loves watching you cry all quiet n sniffly)

he’s also no doubt changed you around the apartment with bugs/gross shit just to make you squeal and beg him to put it away

“baby it’s jus’lil beetle~” while waving a fucking 4in long roach he found outside in your face, “gimmie a big, sloppy kiss and i might throw Jeffrey away, as much as it pains me to.”

constantly making you exchange physical/sexual acts for practically basic respect

“show me your pretty tits and i’ll let you go hang with those stupid cunts— no i’m not gonna stop callin’em that, they’re dumb cunts.”

loves making you suck him off right after work, still all musky from the day, his cock even more salty from sweating all day (scent/smell kink is my fav im SORRY.) plugging your nose and jutting his hips out harshly to make you gag and cough around his cock, the sinfully wet noise making him groan out a chuckle as he watched you cringe

any and all attempts to change his behavior end with gaslighting and fake hurt plastered on his face as he breaks your fucking back in bed

“ungh- you’re such a fucking good girl f’me.. i love your, pretty, im so sorry you feel the need to accuse me of such things- god squeeze my dick like that again, fuck yeah- i..uh- gonna make you cum so hard, show y’how this noisy cunt ‘sall mine..”

steals your panties and jacks off with them right fucking in front of you, dick swinging and balls out as he strikes himself with your panties pressed against his face. his bright ass blue eyes piercing into you while he noisily huffs in the smell of your pussy and licks up the crotch of them like the perverted degenerate he is

oh and when you try to break it off, setting him down to explain that he is just..too much.. for you, he goes ballistic.

grabbing you by the hair and dragging you to the bedroom, placing you down still surprisingly softly as he ferociously tears off your clothes and starts eating you out like his life depend on it (idk to him it might, he’s a loser)

once he’s got you all whiny and soft after a few mind-shattering orgasms, he’ll start coping and trying to slip you back into the haze of his glaringly obvious manipulative love

“don’t say stupid fucking shit, pretty, jus’cuz y’on your period or what-the-fuck-ever is going on in that lil head don’t mean you can treat me like this.”

hell chastise you while he fingers you, fingers blurred as he finger-fucks you dizzy, fishing his cock outta his dirty jeans and scoffing as you whine and cry again, shuffling up the bed

he pulls you in again by your ankles, a scarred hand quickly silencing you as it softly pressed against your throat, a silent threat, as he spoke patronizing words to your sex and lust filled mind,

“just be my good angel one more time, pretty,” he forces a crack in his voice, flexing his throat so he sounds tearful and sad, “i just..i love you s’much, wanna show my pretty girl, my everything, how much she means t’me,”

the second you nod he’s grinning manically and flipping you over, forcing his cock into your wet cunt and rabidly humping against your ass, dick barely leaving and inch before pumping right back in as deep as it’d fit.

he’d spit on your other puckered lil hole, making your cry and squirm yet again as he pushes his thumb against it, gut burning with lust and a perverted sense of affection

“no- nononono angel- calm it down, i jus’wanna feel your cute ass ‘round me, promise it’ll just be my thumb— yes pretty i pinky promise

(he ends up cumming in your ass i don’t make the rules mb)

other than failed breakups and gaslighting, dabi also likes getting his pretty wasted

like… really wasted.

dabi’ll give you shit after shot, even making you sit pretty for him while he spits Jack Daniels into your awaiting mouth

he spikes literally all drinks he makes you and it’s so obvious but he just tells you it’s to ‘loosen your bitchy ass up,’ but in his own special, joking tone.

cut to you blowing cum bubbles while you suck him off, completely drunk, head dizzy and body fuzzy as he records you almost mindlessly salivating over him.

“say hi to Shigaraki f’me, pretty, little bastard is gonna love seeing you all horned up and slutty~”

he also shotguns his blunt/pipe/bong hits to you—never lets you hit in your own

dabi loves it if you sit on his lap during this too, a rare domestic scene of you both just vibing and grinding, soft praises and touches that feel unreal coming from him

the he ruins it by slapping your ass and making you cook him dinner

wait i had a funny idea hold on

“babe can we please go see my momma today— it’s just that it’s m’birthday and you made me skip it last year..”

“pretty, that bitch hates my ass, why would we go see someone who hates us?” (notice he says ‘us’ anyways)

[cut to momma glaring at dabi the entire time they’re over and throwing shoes at him once he opens his fucking mouth]

kay that’s all for now ig

wait

sometimes when you’re falling asleep you can hear him obsessively rambling and mumbling abt how much he loves you, how disgusting everyone else alive is, how he’d kill anyone who dared talk to-LOOK at you, how he thinks you’re such a soft, beautiful little thing that he just wants to protect but oh how he fucking loves ruining your angel wings.

[dekusleftsock]

I thought everyone was exaggerating when people kept bringing up the whole “bakugou says he’s Kacchan bc of kaminari” thing, but they actually believe that… what?

WHAT

Literally how do you guys function

AND THEY CALL ME DELULU???????

It’s such a stretch too. Like “oh yeah he said Kacchan no Bakugou in this movie” ITS NOT EVEN IN THE MANGA HELLO???

The whole reason Kaminari calls Katsuki Kacchan is because he’s making fun of him. It’s poking fun at the fact that Katsuki can’t say anything or get mad at Kaminari because then it would raise the question, “Well why can Midoriya say it?”

He literally side eyes him every time he does it but ultimately doesn’t react because he can’t. He can’t if he wants to keep up the act that he is uninterested in what Izuku represents, who he is.

SO WHY, IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK, WOULD IT BE KAMINARI?

WHO is present in this battle?

WHO is the person that made eye contact with him the second he woke up?

WHO is the one that grabbed his hand immediately upon Katsuki flinging himself towards them??

I don’t think THEY even believe it either, I think it’s just some way to cope and explain away the fact that this moment is inherently romantic.

Because I don’t think he’s making fun of the name Kacchan, I think he’s wearing it proudly. I don’t think it’s a joke at all. It’s a joke in the disbelieving way—the way you act when you’ve made an enormous accomplishment or won some prize, and you just can’t help but act absolutely insane at the fact. Because it’s funny that you’re here, in this situation. It’s hilarious in that disbelieving way.

Because he’s laughing at the truth, he’s been laughing at nothing this ENTIRE CHAPTER.

“Ouch! Haha! I’m so fast!”

“I can’t even stop! Ha! Ouch!”

Note: (I’m not using the official translations because for some reason they lack the maniacal crazed laughter and I’m confused as to why?? I even checked with pikahlua and they specified that there was laughing so…. I’m confused.)

What’s even weirder about this is the fact that afo also says (in pikahlua’s translations) “just who is this brat?!” Instead of “what is wrong with him” which implies less crazed bakugou ness imo. Confused as to why, again.

Because this can’t be happening.

Now, I know it could very well be him teasing afo and calling him dumb, saying basically “you’re too young/old to even know how to pronounce my name, use Kacchan instead like the child you are.” Especially since in the context of names like Katsuki’s, he has that tsu sound that can be hard for children to pronounce. (I’m not 100% on this but I’m pretty sure that the u sound is also meant to be silent since it’s a double consonant. So Katsuki’s name is technically pronounced “Ka-ts-ki”)

BUT IDK I THINK HES JUST FUCKED AND A LITTLE CRAZY RN!

That maniacal laughter at the fact that he’s in pain, the disbelief that he may even surpass Izuku, to me it’s holding a double meaning. The meaning that afo is dumb and needs to be treated like the child he is, and the meaning behind the fact that it’s a name Izuku owns for him. That’s his.

It can be both.

It’s not fucking Kaminari. It was never Kaminari. Even if you don’t read it as the second definition it’s still not about Kaminari.

But it’s also undeniable that it has to do with Izuku some way some how.

I also believe that the western side of the fandom is making an extra big deal out of this because, to us, we don’t really have a proper understanding of what a nickname like Kacchan means in its cultural context.

We can TRY to understand, comparing it to endings with ie or y given to children, and then sometimes going with that nickname into adulthood, but it still has its own distinct cultural context. Because a name like “Gracie” over “Grace” does to an extent sound childish, but I have a feeling that -chan has its own childish feeling. There’s a reason none of Katsuki’s other friends in middle school call him Kacchan, and there’s a reason Kaminari decides to make fun of him for the name in the first place.

I just think it’s important to use our thinking brains before we start yapping about things we don’t quite understand yet :)

Like it’s so unbelievably important to understand that horikoshi won’t tell you what’s happening in his story and why, he’ll show you instead BECAUSE HES A GOOD FUCKING WRITER

If it was about Kaminari, he would have specified, but he didn’t. He showed you that Kacchan is Izuku’s nickname for Katsuki, and he showed you that Katsuki cared more about Izuku than he let on for a long time. Just like he showed you that Izuku pushes down his emotions, showed you that Izuku struggles with projection and anger, showed you that Ochako was the one with this crush and not Izuku, and showed you that the feelings he had about Katsuki were deeper than anyone had realized.

He showed you parallels, he specified the important parallels that you absolutely had to see as a viewer (ex toga and ochako), just as he showed you the ones that were more subtle but still there (ex toga and deku). He showed you the pieces, and that doesn’t make his character’s underdeveloped or unspecified, that’s just how writing fucking works. “Good writing” DOESNT MEAN that you have to be pulled along through your baby steps with your hand held, the fact that you don’t get it is on you. Reading comprehension is a learned skill that has to be practiced over and over again, and that is not the writers job. The writer is only supposed to deliver you their story, and however you decide to misconstrue that story is, and hear me out friends, on you.

So I’m sorry if I’m tired of hearing arguments like “toga is a predator and Horikoshi wrote her to be horny”… she’s supposed to represent love. I’m sorry if the representation he made of love was uncomfortable for you, but maybe that’s the point? Because she’s an outcast? Because she’s supposed to be hard to empathize with, but that we have to empathize in the first place?

Arguments like “Katsuki was referencing a joke about Kaminari bc Kaminari said this in this movie” is just about the largest fucking reach I’ve ever seen. And I know, I know that when bkdk eventually get their implied or canonical ending that people are going to be mad. They’ll blame shippers for pressuring him, or they’ll say he’s a bad writer, or they’ll send him homophobic slurs because “how dare the character I see myself in be gay”. And I’m done with the stupidity and lack of common god damn sense.

So if you are going to be upset by the fact that you’re going to be proven wrong, then I again say, it’s on you.

[sevenpoyo]

some brooklyn slang ik for all the ppl who wanna write for miles and kilometers‼️

feel free to add more idk everything but i i am originally from there and visit a lot this stuff i hear a lot and if you wanna add slang to ur writing this is a good place to start, not all of these brooklyn or ny exclusive but that’s where a lot of american slang starts and u prolly heard some of it b4. imma list it ne ways

don’t use like 8 of these in one sentence bc it will sound weird and i can’t really cover ny puerto rican slang or any puerto rican slang really bc my grandad is a bum so if you know some add it

the city is manhattan, not the other 4 burroughs, just manhattan, cus that’s where everything’s at

to cut ass is to roast tf out of someone , to get your ass cut is get tf roasted out of you

wyling/wilding is being outta pocket, something being absurd or crazy

yeah nah means no and nah yeah means yeah idk why they gotta make it complicated just look at the second word

good looks is like good looking out

it’s bout to be winter and i’m bout to see mad christmas fics and shit but do y’all know the proper way to describe cold ny winters?

if it’s cold as hell, it’s brick outside, not regular cold, ny winter is like nipples so hard i see em thru the bra cold

ex; “how it’s so brick outside i walk to the store wit my hair wet and it deadass got icicles in it” “yeah it’s fr brick outside today” “i’m not walkin wit u in this brick ass weather for a bacon egg and cheese?” (actual convo between my sister and me last winter break)

fronting seem kinda easy to me but is like acting or pretending i can’t explain it with out an example

“why you fronting like you wouldn’t die if they text you asking u to go out with them” “you can stop fronting like you like cars it cool if you don’t” “don’t sit there fronting like u don’t wanna dance wit me”

being tight over something is just being upset or annoyed

rj is so smart they said “We say tight bc you kinda huddle close to yourself when you tense/stressed or angry” i had no idea i just be saying it i aint know it had a reason💀 it make sm sense now.

“who got you tight like that this early in the morning?” “my momma came home tight yesterday for no reason, she threw a boot at me!” “i’m so tight this damn shift change has me working all closers this week”

jack is like claiming someone or something

i talk old as hell idk what the youths be jacking nowadays

cop is basically to get, used to be mostly 4 drugs back in the day my dad said (he don’t know why im asking him this)

“just copped me some retro 3’s” “bout to cop me a few percs in a minute”

speaking of a minute, mostly for my non americans bc that’s who get confused the most when i say this one. depending on the context this can mean a actual minute, a short time or a real long

“i’ll be back in a minute” is short “i ain’t seen y’all in a minute” is long. idk how to explain the difference besides context

bop is a good song, pretty easy but i see ppl on tiktok use it wrong

bangs/banger goes hard is kinda like bob for music but i be using it for anything fr

“this push pop is banging yo”

mad can be used normal like angry but it also means a lot or really kinda like hella ig? i usually uses hella when i would say mad so ppl can understand me easier up here

dumb also mean very in the same way

ex; “my english teacher give out mad homework for no reason.” “she be giving me mad shit over the smallest stuff” “i just had some mad good wings so i’m cooling rn” “this shit is mad spicy u sure you want some?” ''This shit got me dumb tight'' “you don’t need no jacket it’s dumb hot out here”

smacked is like high as fuck idk how to elaborate ur just high

lit is drunk

“Yuuuur!'' A signal, a greeting usually used to catch the attention of someone or something very fun greeting and very hated by schools, it’s weird anywhere outside of ny kinda at least to me.

being hollywood means u get a little fame and think ur all that or just that u got a little fame and they’re jokingly hating

ex; “i saw u on the news the other day, “the prowlers return” u must be real proud of yourself huh hollywood?” “and here comes hollywood wit his trending tiktoks”

real talk is when ur about confess something or say something serious in a not real serious setting or convo

“real talk we play a lot but i love you, my life would be boring with out you around” “real talk i’d never do that to you foreal”

go together is like go out kinda, y’all kinda match behavior cus y’all a couple, this one need a sentence 2 i think. (THIS ONE IS OLD AS HELL ONLY USE IT IF UR TRYING TO RIZZ MOMMA RIO)

“he want ur number? he don’t know we we go together or sum?” “why she wanna act like we go together, ion even know her?” “don’t we go together?”

i can’t even explain it with a sentence y’all just gotta figure this one out 💀

A bodega/deli is a convenience store ik most know this from the movie but some ppl think it’s all stores or all spanish stores when it’s just a corner store

the owners of the deli closest to my granddad house is muslim. and so we keep track of all muslim holidays when he’s closed

an ock is the bodega man, miles knows the man’s name at the deli we see him visit, but at any other store he’d call the guy ock

dipping on someone is changing ur mind last minute, usually canceling plans

ex “we was supposed to go get outfits together but they dipped on me last minute”

staticky is like wanting to fight or still being pissed after a fight

static is beef or on sight energy

you good can really be anything but imma list ones i can think of

it can mean like are you ok? or don’t worry about it, or how are you, or stop, or do you got a issue? or do you want an issue? it’s all in the tone of how it’s said fr

'Word of my moms/dads I saw/ did/did not *insert topic*'' Honest term, no lying present in statement i feel like (my cousins be putting anything on they momma fr risking shit on her for no reason)

'hold it down'' handle buisness / take care of someone or something. can also be in refrence to criminal who handles ''buisness''

NOW EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO @rashadisback BC HE CARRIED ME ON THIS‼️

i hope this helps any writers that don’t live here!

[thebestusernamepossible]

Thoughts combining two of three of my biggest interests rn

Isat x Gravity falls (note I’m role swapping, but if the roles had romance between them please note that it’s platonic now. Like the people in the Isa and Sif roles aren’t being shipped. Likewise, if I put someone in the gravity falls roles and they are being shipped I don’t ship those GF characters necessarily.)

Anyway, GF characters in isat roles

Siffrin -> Mabel. Her whole thing is that she doesn’t want to lose the people she loves and she tries to hold onto them, accidentally causing the apocalypse. Sounds VERY similar to Sif’s whole deal tbh. Mabel is also someone who acts as the ‘funny jokes person’ in her group, similarly to Siffrin, and controversy i’d say it’s a bit of a protective layer for both of them. Also the way Siffrin’s loops works and how he almost seems to crave them near the end and how Mabel was in the bubble can be parallels. Do you see the vision???

Odile-> Dipper. OK HEAR ME OUT!!! I know you’re going ‘no Ford would be Odile!!!’ WRONG! First of all, no Dipper is scrappy in a way Odile is and Ford isn’t (Ford is badass and kinda unhinged but he’s not ‘scrappy’ even when going insane). Also Dipper is generally more pessimistic and less gullible than Ford. Dipper and Odile are both people with a thirst for knowledge who don’t like not knowing things. Both these characters have a clear ambition, but are similarly grounded in how much they CARE. Also Ford could never pull off the sus quest, but I think Dipper could 100%. Also also Dipper and Odile are doing the same type of shenanigans to me (-awkward teen boy things).

Isabeau-> Stan. Hmmmmmmmmm…. Changing everything about yourself until the old you is dead because you hate yourself? Being too much of a coward to communicate with the people you love despite them meaning everything to you? Refusing to acknowledge how smart you are and acting dumb (well ok this one is a stretch because Stan actually thinks he’s stupid, but he TAUGHT HIMSLEF TO REBUILD THE PORTAL???? FORD needed BILLS help for that! Ofc Stan had some of Fords notes, but like…. He taught himslef complex physics to PUNCH A HOLE IN REALITY. I think it applies.)? Yeah Isa and Stan are weirdly good parallels.

Mirabelle-> Ford. I’m mostly relating him to Mira becaus Sif the way he felt like he was solely responsible for killing Bill weighed on him. This isn’t the most 1-1, but Mira is someone who is different from her peers. She follows a belief of change while being the most aroace autistic invidual ever who wants to stay the same execpt she gets to be a scholar and learn everything. OK FORD. Also I think if the Change God pulled a Bill Cipher on her she would also become a Sci-Fi hero and go try to fucking kill it, Ty <3

Bonnie-> Pacifica? Sorry the pines family is four members and none of them except maybe Mabel fit into the Bonnie slot, and Maybel is better as Sif to me. They could theoretically be Soos or Wendy who sometimes get added but none of them give Bonnue vibes and also if you have one you need the other.

Loop-> I so BADLY want to say Dippy Fresh…. so I will. Loop is Dippy fresh, fuck you. (Created from a wish of an alternate Mabel wishing that somewhere she had company while going isane? For a Dipper that understood the Loops? Idk.) OR MAYBE!!!! Anti-Mabel????? Alternatively she’s ‘Shooting Star’ (Mabel in a loop situation)

King-> Bill. Do I need to explain this? Pathetic horrible guys who have sympathetic backstories but are sopping wet assholes

Change-> axolotl

Euphie- J the Unswerving (Oracle)

[dido-reblogs]

Heyo dido,

I'm thinking about dom! student tutor beomgyu x sub! Fem student reader. Like- idk I feel so 🥵🥵🥵 thinking about.

Like reader invites beomgyu her classmate over for him to tutor her for their upcoming exams or whatever. And she just looks soo good to him and ( the stage is yours Dido)

هههههههههههههههه. هههههههههههههههه

i really love this idea i hope i executed it well

warnings: dom!gyu, sub!reader, destroying clothes, possesive and praise language, petnames, dumbification, manhandling, let me know if there is anything else

you not being able to play the second instrument was beomgyu's lifesaver. it gave him a chance to finally spend time with you. he was the best in your major so logically he was the best choice to tutor you. so you went the guy had been crushing on.

his interntions was never to get into your pants yet you the way you stunned his eyes gave him the need to take you here and now. when you said your hands hurt, he suggested a little break which lead to a messy make out session that turned you both on. he would usually take his time but he could save that for later.

"i can't wait any longer, get on all fours" his sudden tone change surprised you yet you found yourself wanting him more with his dominance. positioning yourself just as he wanted, he lifted your skirt up and ripped apart your tights. "fuck, such cute panties too bad gotta ruin them" he said before the ripping sound filled the room. you whimpered with his actions.

just as you were about to move, you felt his hands on your thighs pulling you closer to him. grinding his clothes penis to your poon. he was the one who said that he couldn't wait so he ripped your clothings apart yet he was teasing both himself and you right now. "you feel so good. angel" you finally heard the zipper and sighed with relief.

just as you were about to move, you felt his hands on your thighs pulling you closer to him. grinding his clothes penis to your poon. he was the one who said that he couldn't wait so he ripped your clothings apart yet he was teasing both himself and you right now. "you feel so good. angel" you finally heard the zipper and sighed with relief.

"would you like to help me with the condom?" he asked but you denied. "i-i don't know how." he laughed at your stuttering. "why are you nervous angel? just wanted to ask? don't worry i will do all the job." he explained.

feeling slaps on your ass and hand groping it's cheeks, you bite your lips. you felt him slowly entering into you and giving you time to adjust. as he got the green light from you, his thrusting began to explore your insides.

"so thight, so perfect, so mine~" his thrust having no problem to find right spots, you felt euphoric. "beomgyu" you called his name. "hmm?" he responded "beomgyu" you repeated which made him chuckle. " have i already made you dumb enough?" mesmerized by your state, his thrust never slowing down even a second.

"turn around, i wanna see your face." he ordered yet you were far too gone in pleasure to comprehend what he was saying. slightly getting angry. he flipped you around himself. "angel's getting spoiled, i see? i am hoping it was your dumbness, not brattyness."

"i am close" you said sounding like asking a question. "me too angel, come with me." he allowed. and with that you wasted no second to getting there as he filled up the condom.

"that was amazing, thabk you." he gave you a kiss as his way to say "you are welcome.

[that-one-kiddo-in-the-back]

Star Wars needs more silliness... because the jokes are good enough.

Once again, if you don't know, I'm what Lily would refer to as a Star Wars weeb. I live breath and shit Star Wars. You got it good. Let's dig in.

Not even a minute in before Lily starts complaining about how Star Wars is diving deeper into the lore of how the galaxy works. Even though she says she likes Star Wars, I never understood people who say they like something but don't want to know more about said thing.

She brings up that all the characters in the new Star Wars are basically the same character from older movies, which is kinda true, but that's also taking away the characters' motivation and story line she's uses Rey as an example saying "what if Anakin was a girl and a big dork." Which is kinda cute but completely ignores the fact that Rey and Anakin are nothing alike.

Now, I do agree with how Rey is a pretty refreshing character (and her video was made before TROS), but she's not as refreshing as she thinks Rey is. She even hit us with the "she's not like other girls," saying, "There is no mystery behind her origins. She wasn't linked to any characters of the past movie/books. She's just a force sensitive person who happened to get caught up in the war by circumstances." But then goes onto saying that no one liked that and that everyone wanted another, Luke. I am your father (which she called stupid)

She goes on a tangent about her complaints about TROS, which is valid. The last Star Wars movie was a big disappointment to anyone who liked the sequel. (I didn't like the sequels because I thought Finn would have made a better main character and the idea of a fascist soldier who was born into the army, learning that he was on the wrong side and worked to make up for his sins more interesting, also for what they did to Luke, Leia, Han, and everyone else from the original.)

After that, she brings up that everyone called Rey a Mary Sue, which is also dumb. She brings up the fact that Rey's force sensitive and uses Luke, Anakin, and Revan as examples of being overpowered, saying Luke had perfect had and Anakin had the reflexes of a god (idk much about Revahn so I'm skipping him) then mocks the people who cried over Rey not having any lightsaber training. But Luke and Anakin already had training in their own way. In the novelization of a new hope and even in the movie, it's stated that Luke would use wamp rats for target practice. Anakin was a slave who was bullied and probably beaten a lot, so he had to train himself to react faster. Anyone who's even been in a situation where you can't fight back will know that dodging and getting fast reflexes will help make sure you don't get hurt. Now, she uses her examples to explain that Rey would be able to beat Kylo in a fight because he's just a wimp. The nephew of Luke, who has been trained in the ways of the force since he was a child, is labeled as wimp. Technically speaking by Lily’s own logic, Kylo would have killed Rey in their first fight.

Okay, for those of you who care, I kinda write the blog post while watching the video, so I'm not even halfway done with this bullshit and I've already written 5 paragraphs of her video and she has yet to bring up why star wars needs more silliness... on to 6.

She then states that despite all her complaints about the movies (because she doesn't want to sound like a naiz), she really loves Rey and how... (this pissed me the fuck off) it brought life into Luke, Han, and Leia saying they were dull as crap. BITCH! I fucking love the original gang (they were my bi awakening) and when I heard they were bringing back the characters for the sequels I was very hesitant and I was right to be. The sequels did the gang so dirty, making Luke (the one who wanted to save his father, the man that chopped off his hand and killed millions of people and Jedi because he still had faith that his father was in there.) A mad man who tried to kill nephew because he had a scary dream of going to the dark side. They made Han (a badass who is a loving father and husband) a fucking deadbeat who lives in his van with his best friend. And they didn’t do shit for Leia she's not her sassy self or anything. She's just there for fan service.

She gets to her main problem with Star Wars saying, "They just rehash the same plot but with different seasoning. They all follow the exact same story: plucky underdog, every man rebels fighting against the evil empire." But the thing is that while sure Star Wars is just the same story over and over, it's the characters that I think is what makes it feel like it's something new. Seeing how different characters react to certain things. Luke wanted to be more than a farmer with fate, helping him become one of the strongest Jedi. Ezra only focused on keeping himself alive and not caring about anyone else to then becoming a strong leader with willing to risk his life for others. You aren't watching the same story with the copy and paste characters. You are seeing characters in the same situation dealing with it differently.

At the end of the video, she talks about her shity Star Wars fanfic and how that's how she would have written the sequels, which now that I realize what she had in mind with writing it explains why it's so fucking boring. why in the only 3 chapters I had read, nothing had happened. Thank god no one with a brain would ever leave her in charge of anything.

And of course, she can't make a video without insulting people for having a different definition of fun than her. Lily, for most people in the Star Wars exploring the lore and wondering how the rebels got the death star plans is fun for them, and most of us want to branch out from the force users to see how people in the galaxy deal with the empire. You know world building something Lily isn't good at.

Okay, this video really hurt to watch, and I completely hated it, and she didn't even explain why Star Wars needs more silliness she's just complaining about Star Wars even though she claims to love it.

[fictionfixations]

part 3 of me going through the new book 7 update

part 1 (short where i ended after running out of mystium)

part 2 (after i got more mystium, now im doing rest of the story as im FREE of the battlemap)

heres your reminder that in the wish upon a star event lilia has a wish for humans and fae to be able to co-exist

...

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU okay im sorry i cant hold myself back i HATE these guys with a passion and you guys will too its just an instinctive reaction at this point

YOU SHUT UP ALL YOU CAN DO IS BLABBER BUT YOU CANT DO SHIT! TELL ME IF YOU WERE THERE ON THE BATTLEFIELD WOULD YOU HAVE DONE ANYTHING OR WOULD YOU HAVE BEEN JUST A BURDEN THAT DRAGGED EVERYBODY DOWN? YOU PRAISE MALEANOR FOR STANDING HER GROUND AGAINST HUMANS AND CALL IT NOBLE BUT SHE FUCKING DIED

bro if you had a face to punch in i would. oh wait. youre already dead.

now act like it and shut up dude

NOOO MALLEUS

egg-sama dont go :(((

LILIA PLEASE

genuinely i have to wonder how lilia survived after this, before malleus was born, having all this guilt and self-hatred for failing :(

ruining the mood here but oh my GOD I hate the blind debuff YOU FHEWUISHFSUIHFUH DUDE

D:

in the 10 years since maleanor died its been changed from briarland to briar valley.

malleus lasting so long because lilia tells him to. also his egg is glowing and idk if thats like some morse code idk what its saying

yippee places of other events appearing. now we just need event characters to appear

AHHHH joSAIHDJOAJDIj. hes singing the song hfsuidfh. it sounds different, probably because hes not used to singing it. but then when he sings it to silver it sounds.. smoother??

that he got his signature spell because he wanted for any scrap of information on how to hatch a dragon egg, that he'll take anything

..EIGHTY YEARS???? sorry im not sending as many screenshots because im trying not to cap it

HARVESTONNN

i need a fic where lilia joins them on like the trip to harveston and maybe he gets like vaguely recognized, maybe like cause it was spoken of that they found this fae or like they had an image or something and its fluff times.

well its been 270-ish years since then but come on :(

wait could this be lilia?

eggsama WHAT ARE YOU SAYING. YOU KEEP GLOWING. and its not skippable (what i do is tap to see all the dialogue and then tap past it cause i read fast instead of waiting)

MALLEUS!?!?!?

notice the emblem lilia usually has is gone because he stopped being a general (actually i cant show a before and after but if you scroll up theres an image of him with the emblem on his chest)

"My magic, my remaining lifespan..."

lilia, is that why youre going to die early? is that what you described when you said you were like. adventurous or something like that (i forgot what he said exactly) in your youth?

im going to cry again this is unfair

they dont deserve my words.

..SHUT THE FUCK UP- okay CALM im CALM.

AHHHHH IM NOT CALM

sorry breaking the mood but 'you truly are poor sleepers' sounds funny to me and i cant explain why. its like. malleus simplifying it so much that it sounds dumb

youd know wouldnt you sebek? because your existence literally means you are loved 🥺

💀

lilia...

WHY ARE WE FIGHTING HIM AGAIN MALLEUS PLEASEE can we just skip over this battle we already know we wont win 😭😭😭

RETRY TICKET?? IM SUPPOSED TO WIN?? WHAT?? guys what the fuck no wait i think im supposed to endure for 5 turns

dude wh at

what even happens if you use a retry ticket wtfs the point???

WHAT DO YOU MEAN. IM SORRY????? STOP GIVING ME THE RETRY TICKET WHAT

giving myself the most hp i can to try to endure cause holy fuck what do you mean RETRY TICket?

okay. i did it. i got so confused because i made it to turn 5 and on the very last attack died and it hit me wtih a retry ticket but you just had to win by enduring his attacks for 5 turns, no dying

good thing i got a lot of healing units with a shit ton of hp but holy fuck i was boutta throw hands like what do you MEAN win against a 300k enemy who can heal all of his health back

aight we're dipping out of lilia's dream now WOo that was long

ORTHO

dude is this the first time we actually see the ignihyde dorm background (in main story i mean). cause like. we didnt see ignihyde at all really we were in styx the whole time in book 6

ok that tracks considering we were all the way in book 7 and we got hit with the title screen

THATS

THATS THE END oh.

[zivazivc]

Yesterday I watched Help! I'm A Fish and I had a good time! Chuck's seriousness and Fly's upbeat attitude made me think of Eddy M and Ravin respectively.

That movie is SO bizarre. I showed it to a friend a couple of weeks ago, so I watched it twice now, and we both kept screaming at all the emotional whiplash scenes jfksjhfdjh

I think I see what you mean about Eddy M and Ravin being like Chuck and Fly. Especially in the context of your headcanon where they had a rough childhood. They're not much like those characters in my version though.

Eddy M is a rude moody teen who is very matter-of-fact and headstrong - he's a 13-year-old who thinks he knows everything, and he will let you know that with sassy remarks and comebacks.

Ravin is definitely upbeat and more positive but I wouldn't call her Eddy's opposite because she is equally a smartass. She is just very jokey, self-aware nerd face emoji about it. She'll go "errrrmm, ACTually ☝" whenever she thinks she's right about something or when she just wants to annoy you. That's a good descriptor actually; instead of being rude the normal teenage way like Eddy, she is annoying - intentionally. It's a bit and she fully commits.

Dunno how to better describe them lol

Since I know you'll appreciate, I'm sharing a small chunk of my "Floyd runs into the techno troll and their kids" wip under the cut. It's been sitting and collecting dust for a while now because I have no idea how to finish it, but you can get a bit of an idea of what I imagine these two kids being like:

(for context, Floyd is helping Bruce at the bar and guess who happens to visit? And Floyd goes to take an order from them because he is a dumbass and needs too long to realize who he's talking to... The techno troll and Floyd have a private talk, it goes poorly and the techno troll lets him know that he doesn't want him to meet the kids or let them know who he is, and then Floyd hides behind the bar going full blown emo mode... (Also this is an unfinished draft so there might be some klunky parts, idk, I don't feel like editing it rn but I'm also very self conscious about my writing in general so I need to point this out 😬))

. . .

Floyd felt an intense misery wash over him. He really was a fuck up.

He stared at his feet for who knows how long (Maybe he had begun to dissociate?) when the faint sound of light feet stopping nearby made him look up.

Couldn’t this family gathering end already???

He nearly choked on his saliva while standing up in a desperate attempt to find something to busy himself with and not deal with this.

“Uh, h-hi, random kids I don’t know.”

He gave up at the sight of the empty sink with nothing to wash, and carefully looked at the two kids like they were going to bite him from any sudden movements. He probably shouldn’t stare too hard but that was what he ended up doing while taking in their appearance.

“How dumb do you think we are?” the boy—Edwin said with the distinct attitude and mannerism of a brash teen.

“From one to ten,” Ravin added quickly after and much more cheerily, while she pulled a small journal from her hair. She clicked her gel pen and pressed it against the paper in preparation. “Be honest.”

Floyd was a bit dumbfounded to be honest. “... What?” He straightened a little where he was still leaning against the sink and not facing them fully.

“Is on the slower side…” Ravin said out loud while scribbling the words down.

“We have to do this fast,” Edwin explained impatiently and with uncanny matter-of-fact-ness. “Dads think we went to the bathroom.”

“Uh… Do what fast?”

Ravin spoke up while staring at her journal: “How would you describe yourself?”

“What’s your favorite song?” asked Edwin.

"Would you say your hair is white and pink or white and red? And since when is it white? Dad never mentioned that."

“Do you think the words ‘drug addict hobo’ accurately describe you?”

“What’s better, hardcore or emo?”

“I told you it’s not emo!”

"Do you have any health history we should be aware of?" 

“If you were a bug, what type of bug would you be?

"Do we have any other siblings?" 

Floyd’s eyes grew wide from the onslaught of questions. “Whoa, whoa, slow down!” Then reluctantly he added “One at a time, please.” without even realizing he invited them into a conversation.

Edwin looked at his sister. “What was the first one?”

“How would you describe yourself? Three words.”

Floyd didn’t like the first question.

He should probably try thinking of positives…

“Uh…”

“Uhm…”

Panic.

“I’m a good singer. Well, I used to be…”

“That’s your personality?" Edwin deadpanned. "Singing?”

“I’ll just write down: bad self-image, bad under pressure, bad at understanding questions.”

"Those aren't personality traits either, sis."

"Fine! Unconfident, anti-equanimous, intelligently-impaired. There."

"Next question?"

“What’s your favorite song?”

Floyd's mouth was hanging open. He was pretty sure he just got called an insecure some-big-word idiot.

"Hello? We have a time limit. What's your favorite song?" 

“...T-That’s a hard question," he fumbled for words, "there’s so many songs, it would be impossible to choose.”

Ravin looked into her notepad with a sigh and jotted down: “Indecisive. Gives flakey vibes.”

Floyd didn’t know how to respond to that either. Would it be weird if he got upset? Because he was definitely offended. But then again maybe he deserved this. Like some kind of delayed karma.

“If you were a bug, what type of bug would you be?”

Floyd thought about it, trying to come up with some type of direct answer at least for this question. “Hmm… A grig, maybe?”

Edwin made a face. “What the heck is a grig?”

Ravin seemed to have an idea. She wrote down: “An old soul. Depressed.”

“That’s the opposite of a grig!”

“Have you heard of reverse self-awareness?”

“No…?”

“Probably ‘cause I just made it up. But the term kinda suits you." She scratched her scalp with the dull end of her pen."I think?”

Floyd, still feeling absolutely lost in the whole situation, continued to stare mutely.

Edwin was watching him judgingly. "You think there's any awareness there at all?"

Ravin gave a vague hum before getting back on track. "What do you do for a living?" 

"Rae, don't waste our time with stupid questions. It's obvious what he does."

Maybe, Floyd thought, he could finally impress them with something. "I'm a musician, actually."

"Yeah okay, music boy." Edwin replied without missing a beat. "Is the apron a new fashion accessory I don't know about?" 

Floyd’s mouth hung open (if it ever even stopped hanging). These kids were savage…

[utilitycaster]

This campaign does have wizards aplenty, from our allies and guests (let's hope someone can fix Ryn; wonder how Vasselheim is treating Prism) to the antagonistic figure of the millennium himself, Ludinus Da'leth. And Halas is, of course, still in his gem. I have briefly touched on them, in fact, when they converged upon Tishtan to fuck around and find out. But this isn't about them.

Whose world is at stake here? Who is being shaken at their very foundation? Who is out here kicking ass, taking names, making pacts, and killing birds? And so it's my dubious and self-inflicted honor to present:

The Cleric and Paladin Breakdown Tracker

Episode 69

(nice)

The rules, for those not familiar with the shifting set of guidelines I frequently employed: this is a non-exhaustive list (that means that if I don't have anything funny to say about an NPC we haven't seen in 20 episodes do not ask me where they are. they haven't been seen in 20 episodes). Spinoffs into sorcerer, druid, or other territory may occur as the plot demands, but for the time being we're sticking with the god squad.

Weva Vudol: Matt described her genesis as a person who abides by the Andrew W. K. creed; she does what she likes and she likes what she does. While adherents of the Raven Queen are probably having a rough time of it, no resurrection does mean Speak with Dead is probably having a real moment right now, and honestly she's weird enough to possibly dig the vibes of Jrusar at the moment. 4/10.

Deanna Leimert: It's been a few days but I suspect things are still highly tense between her and Sunny D, and going to God City Central probably doesn't give her much time to relax and regroup. Also I have to imagine Vasselheim is going to be MAD WEIRD about an aeormaton and a wizard. 7/10. Holding it together but I bet any stitches of her knitting right now are impossibly tight (if that's how knitting works idk I'm a crocheter myself)

FRIDA: Speaking of, here's the aeormaton themself! They were feeling bad upon separating from FCG. They needn't have worried (see below) but they don't know that, and yeah I think the vibes in Vasselheim for them are going to be iffy already and the fact that the city is (highly understandably given their history) going into lockdown, probably a bit on edge! Hopefully Bells Hells remembers to ask Keyleth to give them a message or something. 7/10. (She's not on here but I like to think that Prism is THRIVING despite having frowned-upon magic. I think she's having a GREAT time, and I hope she joins the Slayer's Take, I think it would be good for her.)

Unnamed Duskmaven Cleric in Jrusar: I do not know why the Duskmaven clerics dress like Sofina Honoramongthievesvillain, but they do. Anyway rather like Weva Vudol, while things are bad I think that the Raven Queen's clerics tend to have a sort of implacable calm about them (see also Lieve'tel, who is not on this list). 4/10.

Teven Klask: Too hot to be bothered. A little confused by the edicts of Asmodeus re: the truce though. Just like a Betrayer to not explain the situation. 3/10.

Yu Suffiad: I love when people think Yu was some kind of genius of strategy because not only did they get figured out by a tiny unhinged werewolf gnome man, they, far more crucially, bargained away the artifact needed to power the Malleus Key until after the solstice. Literally their entire mission was "hey we need this object before the solstice, to be used in a machine on the solstice, for the solstice" and they were like yeah I'll get it in a month, sounds fair, and then the people they let get away destroyed the machine that was supposed to use it. Anyway with that in mind I'm assuming their dumb ass got shoved into a mirror by Zathuda, whom I would like to see again, because the return of the Silt Verses has reminded me that menace in a Scottish accent is always a fun time. 9/10.

FCG: You know, bit of a rollercoaster for them! He's had some good Commune answers and some less so Divination answers; he can't get drunk; the Staff of Dark Odyssey did NOT play nice; Dancer's still understandably afraid of him; Shithead has finally been lay to rest. I think it's going to be straight down the middle for a while, honestly; such is the nature of adventuring. 5/10.

Pike Trickfoot: Zero idea of her mood right now actually, like I assume Sarenrae has been freaking out but that's the extent of it, so she's here more because either she is blissfully unaware that Delilah was below detectable levels when Laudna came back, in which case like 4/10, or she has been harboring a dark secret in which case more like 8/10.

Jester Lavorre: SENDING IS DOWN THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN 10/10

Caduceus Clay: I have to imagine the Wildmother has made her concerns clear. Also, Molaesmyr was, when last we left it, sort of on fire, which can't be like, great for him. Time to see if 7 years have improved upon his coping mechanisms. 7/10.

Fjord: Improbably, a wildcard. Given that Jester's probably freaking out, pushed into a position of stability and calm; given that the gods are definitely freaking out, the Empire is wilding out, and also that I would be shocked if Caleb and Beau didn't let the others in the Nein know that if they don't hear from them for a while, pushed in a position of running around waving his hands like Kermit. 6/10 but specifically taken as an average of 3/10 and 9/10.

Vax'ildan: technically I don't know if he still counts like a paladin but doing so for reasons of comedy. Anyway, not sure what you can give a bowling ball full of screams but an 11/10.

[xieyaohuan]

Thank you for tagging me @deliciouskeys and @kosmochlor!

Do you make your bed? Depends what passes as making your bed. I used to make my bed obsessively, including covering it with a quilt when it was within view in my room, but now I sleep on a platform/loft bed, so that my mattress is completely hidden from view. I still straighten my duvet on most days before I climb down from the bed, but I no longer cover it with anything or try to make it look pretty.

Fave number: Let's just say my likes and dislikes of numbers have been tainted by Chinese superstition.

Job: hard to explain but people who follow my blog get a sense of what I do thanks to my frequent work rants.

If you could go back to school, would you? I flirted with the idea of getting a second PhD recently. I'm no longer interested in that. But I often consider going back to university for some classes, and after two years of teaching myself Swahili, I finally started taking formal lessons this fall.

Can you parallel park? Short answer is no. I have an expired driving license from Texas, and I had to do parallel parking during my driving test there. I drove right into the traffic cones my instructor had put up for that purpose. Since this was Texas, he was like "doesn't matter, you'll never have to do this again anyway lol." My dad tried to teach me later, since in Europe, parallel parking is pretty much the only parking, but I hated it and never got a European license after the one from Texas expired.

Do you think aliens are real? I'd be really surprised if earth was the only planet that hosts life in the entire universe. Seems unlikely. I hope there's something fancy like super intelligent moss out there, and I hope it never finds us. That said, my favorite tentative resolution to the Fermi paradox is that humans are just too dumb to perceive alien civilizations. We're the cosmic ants in their little anthill next to the cosmic ten-lane super highway, and the super intelligent moss just doesn't bother trying to talk to us because it would be irrelevant and a sign of insanity in moss-world to try to explain to humans what the highway is about. I guess that's not a super likely scenario, but it would be kind of funny.

Can you drive a manual car? My dad taught me how to drive a manual, and I used to drive around in one for a while before my Texan license expired, so I'd like to think muscle memory would kick in and I wouldn't start from zero if I tried to learn it again, but if I got in one now and tried to drive off, I'd stall it for sure.

What's your guilty pleasure? Idk peanut butter?

Tattoos? Nope. Not having one is a big plus when trying to visit a hot spring in Japan or even in Taiwan.

Fave color? Blue and turquoise.

Do you like puzzles? I like solving complex tasks where it remains completely unclear if I can solve them or not until the very end. So I guess the answer is yes.

Any phobias? I fucking hate needles and when movies or TV series try to simulate the sound of blood pumping through someone's veins. Tried watching Hannibal once and gave up within the first 5 minutes because I almost passed out.

Favourite childhood sport? Ballroom dancing and wheel gymnastics.

Do you talk to yourself? Sometimes, though not very often and usually only very short phrases.

Zero-pressure-tagging: @fantasticpants and @galsinspace