#does not prioritize that most of the time

[nexomy]

Okayyyyy, here goes. Let's go through this, shall we?

John doesn't care the slightest bit about Mary. Like I- He cares, sure, but out of guilt more than anything. John has a pattern in his relationships where he can never be fully honest, fully sincere, and he pretends to care about the women around him much more than he actually does. That man is running on autopilot with most people. He's not doing that with Sherlock.

You want to know why John forgave Mary so easily? Because past "she wasn't supposed to be like that", he didn't like. Care. Much. I mean, come ON. He didn't even know her enough to tell she didn't like his bloody mustache. And that didn't disturb him, even a little? In the bomb scene, he almost seems a bit relieved to get to die with Sherlock, he doesn't even try to run for it for his wife. And before you say that it was impossible or something, even when something is impossible, John still tries it, most of the time. Why not there?

Mary didn't betray John's trust issues, because he never fully let his guard down. That's why his anger issues never/rarely flared up with her.

Then, as to why John never takes the time to ask about the two years, or doesn't seem to notice how broken Sherlock is... John and Sherlock never talk about things. Not in S1, not in S2. They rarely address emotionally charged topics without one or the other lashing out or lighting up the mood with a joke. So John doesn't take the initiative here to address it, but then again, neither does Sherlock. Sherlock never explains to John why he did what he did, always insists on saving face. John has no reason to think the two years is what broke Sherlock, instead of like, I don't know, the fact that his... Well, whatever John is to him, is gone, or at least, not in his life as much. John suffers from his own choices and his wedding, but he doesn't seem to be willing to recognize that. I think he's projecting on Sherlock.

Which is why I'm saying that without a proper addressing of the Fall, and all its implications, and the motives and context, John CANNOT forgive Sherlock. Not truly. The anger stays. Because, as you said yourself, a huge chunk of his character is that he always sees the worst in Sherlock, as much of not more than he sees the best. Sherlock is a lot less monstrous than John seems to believe, and yet, he still adores that version of him. I think John is a pessimist to shield himself, "if I see the worst in people, then they can never surprise me when they hurt me". But with Sherlock, despite John knowing how bad he can get, he just can't resist the pull. That doesn't mean John forgives Sherlock, so much as he doesn't have a choice, if he wants to continue the friendship. It's the toxic codependency to the highest degree! Deli-li-cious.

The real reason why John is still angry is obvious: The writers liked the drama. That's it. And they wanted to create this character that everyone thought was a monster, that WAS a monster, but not really. That didn't turn out great for them, Sherlock isn't actually a monster many, if any times thourought the show. Meanwhile, Mary is a manipulator and easily violent. But the writers didn't see Mary as a character, more like a plot device, like all the other women on the show. That's why she's forgiven so easily, whilst Sherlock isn't. They don't want to waste too much screen time and emotional depth on her. The show is called "Sherlock", after all!

"Nothing has changed or will ever changed between us" is true, at its core. John is never going to be fully emotionally honest, just like he wasn't from the start, is always going to prioritize Sherlock, and keep him in his life. That was the situation from the start. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that John has a history of losing relationships because he wasn't open enough. With Sherlock, it's different. He doesn't have to be open, because Sherlock doesn't care about him, not really. WE know that's not true, but this lie IS what allows John fo trust Sherlock, and that he won't leave. "As long as I'm useful, he won't leave, no matter if I'm angry at him or not, or if I lash out, or if I can't be emotionally vulnerable. He'll stay, as long as I'm useful. I have to keep being useful."

And then Sherlock leaves. To protect John. Because he CARES.

And that... Well, I think that John blames himself, honestly. "I wasn't useful enough". Maybe at some point, he DOES realize why Sherlock did what he did. But that doesn't fix anything. That wasn't the deal. It wasn't like that between them, Sherlock wasn't supposed to care, and that throws their whole dynamic off-balance, and John doesn't know how to deal with it. It was supposed to be them both against the rest of the world. And Sherlock threw himself at the frontlines, leaving John behind.

Of course, we, the audience, understand why Sherlock did it. But John would have rather died with him, back then. He can't forgive Sherlock, not fully, no matter the reasoning, because Sherlock caring is not a positive. If Sherlock left to protect him once, he might do it again. No matter how useful John is.

John was fine being friends with a sociopath. More than, actually. After the Fall, he has to learn to be friends with a human. And that's harder, scarier.

Of course, this is all just my take, my desperate attempt at making sense of a story that only really existed to make Sherlock suffer for the drama of it. But it's a more interesting reading than "John's just an asshole", to me.

Sherlock, 4.02 The Lying Detective

[storiesconsumemysoul]

Stupidly Long Incoherent Ramblings on Lanfear, Rand, and Egwene

I feel like we are only discussing the Lanfear play with Egwene and Rand as jealous vindictiveness but we are truly not giving her enough credit. Every action she's taken so far this season has strategically resulted in, once again, slowly isolating Rand from his support system. Required conditions to secure her hooks - that have been rudely slightly dislodged - back in him. And in her eyes, Egwene is pretty much the last major obstacle.

By end of S1, Rand was alone, pretty much resigned to going mad and dying in the near future, cut off from all that he has ever known and loved, and terrified of his own mind and body. Selene makes herself a place of safety, companionship, trust, but most importantly, strength. She was the second relationship he'd ever had. With an older worldly woman who still wanted him, a clueless country bumkin. As he put it perfectly, she made him feel like a man (2x4). While he is extremely vulnerable, isolated, and terrified out of his mind, she made him feel stable and capable. That is an incredibly potent connection that does not get dissolved by the reveal of who she is. Especially since all of the reasons why he was vulnerable and isolated are still factors at play. He's still the Dragon. With all that that entails.

In the backend of S2 Lanfear has to resort to explicit forceful methods and make deals and transactions because the relationship has been damaged. But after she gets to be his big savior (2x7) she now gets to go back to building their dynamic again with more subtlety. Namely, by recreating the conditions that got them together in the first place.

We start S3 with explicit acknowledgment that 1) Lanfear is invading his dreams and trying to interfere in his decisions, 2) He is not being swayed and is instead working with friends again, and most importantly, 3) He told Moiraine about it! And what does Lanfear do? Bubble of evil that kicks every member of his entire support system exactly where it hurts them most -> makes them all splinter in different directions -> makes Moiraine (and Lan) her accomplice in that act of betrayal and cruelty establishing some real mutual destruction leverage over Moiraine where Rand's trust and compliance is concerned. Even though he still chooses to not go after the sword, that's still impressive work. And of course, continuously torturing Egwene in her dreams every night since she is the last holdout staying with him.

The scene in (3x5) when Rand says that he and Egwene haven't had a moment alone to talk since Rhuidean really stood out to me since the last we saw of Egwene in (3x4), she was desperately trying to catch his eye. To connect. Of course, since it's clear that Lan and Moiraine hadn't talked either (until settling in from their travels) that tells me that there just wasn't a chance for heart to hearts on the way from Rhuidean. But Lan gets to it basically the moment there is an opportunity because babygirl came out of Rhuidean in absolute shambles and he needed to get on that ASAP. But Rand (who's doing a great job pretending he's not going through it) and Egwene can't work towards reconnecting and really processing the shitshow that is their lives together because ... oh yeah ... Egwene is slightly preoccupied by being tortured nightly by a goddamn forsaken. Lanfear actively and materially benefits from keeping Egwene strung out and preoccupied. I really don't think it's the simple petty satisfaction of it all that she's really after. And The Wise Ones, wisely, prioritize teaching Egwene how to defend herself as quickly as possible over having heart to hearts with her dubious-status-boyfriend. Which means Rand, who is totally Fine(TM) and in no urgent need of a heart to heart, once again only finds real refuge with one person.

Repeatedly triggering and retraumatizing Egwene, who is still stubbornly sticking by Rand, ensures that she continues to have a hard time with intimacy of any kind anyways. Which is in turn also somewhat triggering for Rand since his biggest fear is hurting those he loves. And Egwene tensing up, flinching away, and distancing herself from him - as much as he understands isn't actually about him - well ... still is a particularly rough experience for him too. Their bubble event was truly perfectly calibrated to severely mess both of them up. Add on to that both of their nightmares, the arches, and Rhidean? Yeah. So, naturally, the distance between them grows and grows because Lanfear is pushing all the right buttons at such a crucially vulnerable time for both of them. Egwene needs her own refuge in order to protect herself from even more trauma, and Rand finds relief in the only familiar place of comfort still being eagerly (against his will) offered to him.

And it is so important that he finds his refuge in dreams instead of clandestine real world meetings. For one, it allows him legitimate deniability. He's not like ... seeking her out and he doesn't have control of this space so ... you know? Is it so wrong to soak in whatever comfort he can from the continued invasion of his mind by a near all-powerful being? And I really don't want this to be misconstrued as "oh he secretly wanted it so Lanfear is doing nothing wrong there actually" type of argument. What I'm trying to get at is this: making your target feel complicit in their own abuse because you put them in a position to "enjoy" some part of it is very much so an abuser tactic (the cult dude ritualistically performing oral sex on his victims as part of their initiation into his inner circle comes to mind).

Two, his dreams without her are nightmares where he commits his worst fears. And taking the alternative of having a nice little chat with his ex(?) in their "love cabin of simpler times" sure is a no brainer. The waking world and his dreams are terrifying and painful, but Lanfear can give him refuge in a safe little warm bubble. All for the cheap cheap price of indulging her advances a little. Three, seeing Lanfear in Rhuidean reinforced a thing we have seen him kind of realize but not really confront. Which is that Lanfear (and Ishamael) have a real meaningful connection with some version of him. And he can say all he likes that he's not Lews Therin but it doesn't make the grain of truth there go away (I often think about the strange lovely tenderness he shows Ishamael in his last moments). But like ... the hell is he meant to make of all that anyways? Nothing realistically. Except when he's in this strange liminal "unreal" space ... who can blame him for trying to feel out the shape of that connection?

And four, in controlling the setting of his dreams, Lanfear gets to naturally invoke Selene and all the ways Selene made him feel, all the warm fuzzy feelings associated with that place, and time, and lover. Even while he actively distrusts Lanfear. It's why her "there is a way for me to escape the dark one ... oh what am I saying let me dramatically dip real quick" thing is so effective. She's sitting on their bed, in the warm glow of their cabin, vulnerable and allowing him the opportunity to step into the role of a stable and safe version of himself. The opportunity to be in a place of safety and strength again for his own sake AND be a place of safety and strength for her. Again, that quote about making him feel like a man is so important, especially when he's vulnerable and so terrified of himself. So when he meets Mierin, of course he's going to latch on to her goodness. It's everything he saw in Selene. And everything Lanfear had been subtly priming him into keeping at the forefront of his mind and heart throughout their interactions. She has slowly but surely positioned herself back where Selene was. As a place of respite, comfort, and strength. Of course, of course, he would be tempted by the idea that that version of her can be saved. Can be made real again.

Now the real risk with her shenanigans in (3x5) is that, surely, Egwene is going to tell him that Lanfear has been the one hurting her this whole time. Which could be a massive blow that ruins the fruits of all her work. But I think Lanfear is taking that calculated risk now because she feels secure in her position. Secure enough to forcefully sever the connection between him and the last person in his support system close enough for him to seek in them what he found in Selene. She's betting on his anger being mitigated by growing more desperate for comfort when isolated fully again.

I don't know if this play is gonna work out for her the way she wants. But I can't deny that I respect the hustle. Truly villain-ing at the highest messiest degree.

[taffywabbit]

[kind of a longwinded vent post i guess, i was gonna just make a sort of tired joke post but then it actually wasn't a joke oops. don't feel obligated to read this, i just need to put my thoughts somewhere]

man. i am wayyy too damn busy this week to be getting hit with as many heavy thoughts and potentially entire-perspective-on-life-altering realizations about my identity and mental health as i have been. why can't i ever have important stuff to think about during literally any time when my life affords me the time and energy to think about it properly. it just ends up being loud background static behind my existing stress every time because it's like... i obviously do have tangible stuff i NEED to prioritize, and it's reasonable for me to put that first, but i still end up feeling like i'm somehow being cowardly or irresponsible by putting off the internal processing that's demanding i pay more attention to it.

i'm literally just living that one post that's like "i'm probably nonbinary but i have a job so i don't really care about that right now" or whatever, except i'm already trans so swap that first part out for a growing list of possible untreated mental illnesses, an increasingly-hard-to-ignore identity crisis, the looming dread that i cannot keep treading water in my current stagnant career forever. also, most notably, a general sense that i have no idea where my life is going or what i want from it now that i've finally broken down my mental wall labeled "you can't pursue anything else you want until you get your ass in gear and start transitioning already", gotten some joy out of that, and then realized there wasn't much else it was actually obstructing. and it's like. breaking that wall DID at least give me a clearer view of things and now i have plenty of other important stuff i could unpack, but it feels like i'm just stuck on a nonstop conveyor belt of "actually i don't have time for that because i'm behind on work again" that prevents me from making real tangible progress in figuring my shit out, even now.

like i am aware this is very much a "GOD i need to talk to a therapist" type situation but guess what! seeing a therapist costs a lot of money (yes, even in canada) and takes time and effort to set up, and if i want those things i'd better get my work done! except oops now i'm once again too busy to do anything BUT work, because i burned out and slowed down and the work took too long again and now i no longer have the time for the genuine proper break i needed in order to do anything for myself besides earn money.

one of the most frustrating parts is that HRT has seemingly made me a lot more emotionally sensitive and outwardly reactive (as it reportedly does for many people), and instead of that being the cathartic experience it should be, it usually just manifests as all my shit very visibly unraveling at the seams as i spiral and make an ass of myself and push people away, where i previously would've at LEAST been able to hold it together a bit better. so not only do i feel like i'm not making progress, it's constantly taking all the energy i can spare just to avoid crashing out and burning all my bridges and leaving myself with no external supports. my friends are kinda all i have right now, and i'm painfully aware that the more i procrastinate sorting out my issues, the more danger there is that i'll damage my relationships with those i care about if any of this internal pressure leaks out at the wrong time. which then becomes yet another fear to add to the pile of stuff i'm not equipped to deal with right now

idk. i was about to instinctively say "i'm fine tho" and that's very clearly a lie, but like. i WILL continue to manage at least. i'm not in any physical danger from myself or others, nothing is gonna happen to me, you don't have to worry about anything like that. i'm just overwhelmed and exhausted, and i don't have any good outlets for talking about this shit anymore besides just dumping it on friends at random, which feels shitty and i would really prefer not to make a habit of it. i just feel like i'm waiting for some kinda stroke of good fortune to come along and perk me up and give me enough of a jolt of extra energy to start doing things differently, kinda like last year when i suddenly stumbled into getting my transition stuff started and then THAT gave me enough confidence and excitement to seek out an ADHD diagnosis a couple months later. just something to break me out of this routine temporarily and help me feel unburdened enough that i can do SOMETHING, y'know?

but in the meantime i feel like i just need to like. signal in some way that i am Really Going Through It, if only to counter my own instinctive efforts to always maintain this illusion of perfect functionality and never cause any problems or allow anyone to worry about me or be annoyed by me ever. professionalism be damned, i make art for a living, i do not have the luxury of separating my job from my self-expression and trying to pretend everything's going smoothly in terms of work will always kinda inherently come at the cost of trying to convince myself it's going smoothly in my personal life too. to some extent i suppose MOST people don't - the shit that affects you at home is gonna affect you at your office job too, sooner or later - but in my case the false wall of work-life balance is like a two-way mirror, because drawing is also my most treasured hobby and lifelong source of comfort, and any outward-facing concept of professionalism i construct only exists for my audience. there's no fooling myself with this stuff, it's all i have and all i do and the only difference is that sometimes people pay me for it so it becomes "work", but not the kind i get to clock out of at 5pm on weekdays. if i'm going to talk about what i'm going through and be open about my feelings at all and encourage people to see me as a living breathing person, it inherently is going to make me look like i'm also complaining about my job, because my job is to make art and my art (paid or not) conveys a part of who i am. i cannot present myself as brand-safe and a human being at the same time, at least not without driving myself (more) insane

anyways this isn't an essay or anything, i don't have a conclusion? thank you for being here i guess. i feel like i'm at least breathing like 5% easier after getting all that rambling out of me, so that's something at least? i will now go buckle down and try to finish my remaining art obligations and then hopefully when that's done i will make a responsible choice and wait long enough before piling more work onto myself to just like. breathe for a sec and seriously consider if there's perhaps a better way to be doing what i'm doing so it does not make me crumble into dust. and also maybe pick like ONE life-shattering realization or crisis to poke at a little bit, if i feel up to it. hey btw did you know this whole post was originally going to just be a very short one where i half-jokingly reflected on the possibility that i might actually be autistic, but then started thinking way too much about why my brain refuses to latch onto that thought and keeps pushing it aside with a big stick labeled "who cares, i'm tired" and this post happened instead. yeah. anyways that's the most recent small addition to The Pile in case you were curious, yippee

[ilikekidsshows]

How we feeling about Revelator? Actually makes me want to believe Adrien is gonna find out the truth, but I refuse to trust this show again.

---

Very very mixed. On one hand, this episode feels like an obvious setup to actually deal with this plot thread. We even see Alya get to stay mad at Marinette instead of having to put aside her sense of betrayal to make sure Marinette is comfortable. That is very promising, and I understand why many people are cautiously optimistic.

On the other hand, during the entire conflict between Alya and Marinette, all Marinette can do is pathetically wobble her lip to make herself look like the victim, Cat Noir got a new power just so that Marinette could escape the conflict without reflecting or resolving anything and the episode tries to claim in the final moments where the lesson is supposed to go that Marinette feeling comfortable with coming clean is more important than Adrien finding out this vital information in a timely manner.

Basically, I am 100% sure, I have no doubt, that, when they finally decide to give us the payoff to this setup, Marinette's comfort is going to be prioritized over how Adrien is feeling. Like, they pressed the reset button on Alya discovering the truth partially because they're undoubtedly stretching this out to the next season finale but also because it turned out badly for Marinette. The writers will never give Marinette long-term consequences that won't be Marinette herself making herself miserable. Adrien will forgive her far too easily, I know he will.

That also means that this thing the writers admitted is wrong is going to be sat on by Marinette for this entire season, and she will be coddled for it. Marinette is going to be cool with herself being an abuse apologist until this blows up in her face, and then we will be expected to feel the most pity towards her for the problem no one but her caused while Adrien will get scraps. I'm just tired. I don't feel pity for Marinette, I feel frustrated and exhausted. Just shut up with her excuses for once, we all know she's too weak to “discuss her feelings” no matter what the writers say about what she's been taught. This is what she always does, after all, and she won't change. The writers are allergic to too much change.

I can't find it in me to care about this arc because I know how this writing team operates and nothing they’ve done with this plot so far shows me they're actually doing something differently.

[dotjpeg]

im gonna regret staying up this late in the morning BUT. little lore dump for my clone medic oc Victoria (she/it) + worldbuilding for my canon.

basically clone medics are treated as incredibly valuable bc obviously, and since Victoria is a medic stationed on Coruscant where it’s more reliable/safe to test new things on clones (…) and conduct more research there without waiting on traveling back to Kamino, it knows a LOT outside of its intended medical specialization (that only medics on on Coruscant can afford to have, and hers used to be orthopedics). so it got kidnapped (well it was an attempt, they didn’t get very far since hello. child soldier since she could walk + a million angry siblings) and nearly killed by the would-be kidnappers once they realized she was too difficult of a target. anyway medics (even visiting ones) on Coruscant aren’t even really supposed to be outside without guards and a weapon after that! That whole thing also resulted in her name, “Victor”, seeing as she didn’t get kidnapped and be forced to use cyanide pill or whatever, but she just liked “Victoria” a bit more (though ppl still use Vic/Vicky/Victor/Victoria/Tori).

The tattoo is self explanatory but a little extra background: I’ve had a photo of a similar one saved for a few months and I just really liked how it fit her. & yes I used batchmates instead of squadmates bc Tori is one of the rare clones that was kept in her actual batch she was created in AND all of them survived childhood.

[dukeofthomas]

"Jason just needs to see things from his family's perspective and understand how much they love him (despite them never actually communicating or showing him through their actions)" is out. "The batfamily putting a single bit of effort into understanding Jason and reconciling with him on his own terms" is in.

[amediocregamer]

so, it's probably wrong to call it a zombie virus, as it's much more akin to an infestation. the actual cause of the zombie-bad-times is these small, almost pin needle orange worms that reproduce extremely rapidly and are able to get themselves into other organisms and continue their spread extremely well.

maybe some mildish descriptions of body horror ahead. i doubt it's that bad but im still adding it as a precaution.

I havent thought of a first case situation and how the original zombie got turned, but I like to think it was due to an imbalance in a local environment that allowed these worms to grow and develop at astronomical levels; something like their natural predators being wiped or cleared out.

infestation within a living subject typically involves the worms entering into an organism's blood stream or vein in order to circle into the heart (bites, scratches, ingestion, etc). usually, detours to the stomach would be made in order to lay eggs that are then rapidly matured and entered into the blood stream again, but whether or not this stop is made depends on the location/convenience of the infected area, amount of worms, organism's acidity, etc. at the heart, the worms begin to take apart the heart and, at the same time, replace its function.

the thing that make the worms unique is that, rather than quickly taking control of the nervous system as I think a lot of other zombie media does, they actually take a comparatively slower path to replace the organs of a subject before finally replacing their nervous system on the sixth day of infection.

back to the heart, its replaced by a large amount of these worms that not only pump the blood to the other, non-affected areas of the body, but also contaminate the blood to carry eggs of the species'. it is removed shred by shred in an attempt to bring the least attention to its host and keep it functioning until the full organ takeover. once the heart has been fully replaced, what remains (typically half or close to three quarters) of it is vomitted out on the second day. most infected become aware of their condition by this time, and stray worms are also discarded in efforts to spread. the subject feels almost no change in their health aside from irregular heartbeats but report extreme anxiety due to personal worries for state.

by the third day and until the fifth, the process is repeated in the rest of the vital organs and interior muscles. their function remains intact but also prioritize the spread of the eggs or funneling of nutrients towards larger masses of the worms. on the exterior, the organism shows visible signs of infections, which include skin becoming a slightly orange hue with blood now being an almost viscous tangerine fluid that resembles orange juice pulp, and severe loss of weight. the host eats less, as they no longer have a stomach to get energy for, with the masses of worms replacing it as well as consuming the past remains of the stomach. towards late infection eggs are released through fluids from the host (like sweat, saliva, tears). despite a likely ability to be able to digest the material, the bones and skeletal system are left almost entirely intact.

on the sixth day, full transformation occurs. all muscles and flesh of the organism have now been replaced by the worms; the only original part left is the brain, which will not take long. due to the complexity and difficulty to imitate, the brain takes a relatively longer time to replace in which the subject is in excruciating pain comparable to brain aneurysm. at this point, any care or consideration for the needs of the host are entirely discarded as the full body no longer belongs to them. the nerves take a matter of hours to replace; where there once was a nervous system, there is now a network of constantly writhing and notably thin worms that are observable through the skin. consciousness is assumed to disappear at this point. the muscles, made now entirely of the species interlocking in spongy patterns, push against and burst through the original skin in expansion, resulting in increased physical ability and the likely spread of worms as a splash effect. skin is no longer being held onto by the infestation, and slides away along with hair, ears, the majority of the nose and the eyes having sunk into the skull to merge with the large mass. the zombie is incredibly violent, swipe, but also brittle. upon being slashed or shot, streams of worms and eggs are released like paint spills in the near area. it is for this reason why fighting the infected is not suggested unless the correct circumstances or equipment is present. buring, drowning or total crushing are suggested as the best method to defend against these zombies.

a humanoid form being kept past the sixth day seems to be the standard, however changes in structure or ability may occur. there have been few quadrupedal specimens observed, but these have been shown to be significantly faster yet weaker than the bipedal version. triped specimens have even been spotted rarely but these are weaker in most factors - most likely a mistake in their biology.

there is no point in infestation where the host organism can be cured. once an egg or worm infiltrates the body, the process is near guaranteed though times may differ.

if there is anything whatsoever that I'd gotten wrong about general biology or how something like this would happen, please do let me know!!! I'd like this to be somewhat realistic. a.aside from the zombie worms.

tagging @retic-pithon @vix-affix @definitely-not-a-plant @liv-log @k1m4r4 @squabblesquabble and @enemylv1 just to get some moots to see!!!

[roseluwakcoffee]

Sometimes I think I write Kyoko too much like a cold, hard detective for being a literal teenager/young adult, but then I remember at the age of 13 years old she canonically doused herself in vodka and threatened to light herself on fire if the killer didn’t reveal themselves

[miodiodavinci]

i saw that you used to hint at oc stuff on twitter (don't ask me why im digging im looking for zola stuff lmao) why don't you post more about them?

i am simply terrified that if i post oc things online someone will steal the concept and run with it faster and better than i ever could have and then i will be devastated forever and ever

more seriously i have very little to show for any of my oc things (adhd brain making life difficult as per usual awawawawawa) and every time i've shared oc things in the past i've ended up never following up on it and it makes me feel bad and guilty so i've just convinced myself i will Never talk about my ocs until i have something substantial i can put out there

[zymstarz]

yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out

[no1ryomafan]

I hate how my Kikaider brain rot has actually worsened since watching the sequels because I thought it would put it at bay since it’s been putting me off from doing other stuff but I just keep ROTATING all the stuff about 01 funnily enough.

01 is just so *weird* because it’s not like I’m having a relationship where I hate it and I think it ruined the original but then become obsessed with wanting to fix it-I have had rewrite ideas but it would come with their own problems nor are they really striking me-no, I don’t actually feel super negative towards it, even if it’s objectively so flawed for multilayered reasons but I keep hyperfixating on WHY it’s so flawed because the OG show and even the crossover are not nearly as flawed in comparison. They do have their issues but they serve their purpose.

The original show having a recap ep was a odd decision and unfortunately the ending feels rushed/unsatisfying due to they had to make a up a ending since they couldn’t do 01s yet, but also as a self contained story it’s still incredibly solid and works for 12/13 episodes. Where as crossover despite being a single episode works for its runtime since it ties perfectly back to both the OG show and 01 + gives Jiro a ending that’s the closest thing to closure he’ll ever get, it’s biggest flaw is just the Inazuman characters are something you won’t have full context on if you don’t read the manga because they sadly didn’t get a anime-which yes I am also reading the manga, didn’t get far but I like what I have read-but that also does not actually effect the Kikaider side of the crossover.

But then you have 01 which absolutely FAILS at using the 4 episodes it’s given in almost every way: It doesn’t tie back to the original despite the originals ending being the way it was for 01, with plot holes being caused from it and it’s tonally different as it leans more on action than story which is not in its favor as it takes up most of its short runtime leading to the new characters and the story not being as developed as the original despite having incredibly interesting plot points, just the execution is not there.

It’s the one Kikaider show that needed to be longer, either the episodes needed a 45 minute runtime or it needed to be 6-7 episodes which is at least half the length of the original if it also couldn’t get the 12/13 episodes treatment. It just baffles me how 01 was given such little time especially as a OVA yet was still made likely due to the first show doing decently, yet they didn’t use their time wisely at all to make it actually tie to the original.

But I still can’t find myself to actually hate it or deem it as bad because maybe I appreciate the fact it existed just so the crossover could happen and we could also see the 01 characters animated, or just again, it doesn’t ruin the original so you could honestly pretend it doesn’t exist even if I don’t because I like the crossover and it’s important there. It’s something I don’t feel strongly for and I will always just advise the first show to people, since it being so flawed for so many reasons that’s it’s baffling at least makes it interesting to think about rather than boring or god awful.

[dareduffie]

Guy who has not dealt with his trauma and is actively unpleasant to be around and puts other peoples lives at risk numerous times for the sake of his own desperation + his friend who follows him around the world even though he could leave at any time and he'd be better off for it

[sonknuxadow]

sorry i dont really understand the hyping up the mario movie as this incredible masterpiece of a movie or the best video game movie ever made i finally watched it recently and i just thought it was ok. not Bad there were things i enjoyed about it. but not best movie of the year or best video game movie that will ever be made and can never ever be topped idk what people are talking about there

[domesticated-whores]

might fuck around and ask the man I've been dating for almost 5 months, but who probably doesn't feel anything for me that I feel for him, what his thoughts on relationships and sex are. because he apparently does like me enough to sleep next to me approximately once a week and message me daily and kiss me outside of work where people that know us could absolutely see and let it be a known thing that we're together, but apparently not enough to label us or talk sex or even really respond if I say something flirty??? and I really wanna know where the fuck he thinks we are and if we're even on similar pages there????

[monsterfactoryfanfic]

if I've learned anything from grad school it's to check your sources, and this has proven invaluable in the dozens of instances when I've had an MBA-type try to tell me something about finances or leadership. Case in point:

Firefox serves me clickbaity articles through Pocket, which is fine because I like Firefox. But sometimes an article makes me curious. I'm pretty anal about my finances, and I wondered if this article was, as I suspected, total horseshit, or could potentially benefit me and help me get my spending under control. So let's check the article in question.

It mostly seems like common sense. "...track expenses and income for at least a month before setting a budget...How much money do I have or earn? How much do I want to save?" Basic shit like that. But then I get to this section:

This sounds fucking made up to me. And thankfully, they've provided a source to their claim that "research has repeatedly shown" that writing things down changes behavior. First mistake. What research is this?

Forbes, naturally, my #1 source for absolute dogshit fart-sniffing financial schlock. Forbes is the type of website that guy from high school who constantly posts on linkedin trawls daily for little articles like this that make him feel better about refusing to pay for a decent package for his employees' healthcare (I'm from the United States, a barbaric, conflict-ridden country in the throes of civil unrest, so obsessed with violence that its warlords prioritize weapons over universal medical coverage. I digress). Forbes constantly posts shit like this, and I constantly spend my time at leadership seminars debunking poor consultants who get paid to read these claims credulously. Look at this highlighted text. Does it make sense to you that simply writing your financial goals down would result in a 10x increase in your income? Because if it does, let me make you an offer on this sick ass bridge.

Thankfully, Forbes also makes the mistake of citing their sources. Let's check to see where this hyperlink goes:

SidSavara. I've never heard of this site, but the About section tells me that Sid is "a technology leader who empowers teams to grow into their best selves. He is a life-long learner enjoys developing software, leading teams in delivering mission critical projects, playing guitar and watching football and basketball."

That doesn't mean anything. What are his LinkedIn credentials? With the caveat that anyone can lie on Linkedin, Mr. Savara appears to be a Software Engineer. Which is fine! I'm glad software engineers exist! But Sid's got nothing in his professional history which suggests he knows shit about finance. So I'm already pretty skeptical of his website, which is increasingly looking like a personal fart-huffing blog.

The article itself repeats the credulous claim made in the Forbes story earlier, but this time, provides no link for the 3% story. Mr. Savara is smarter than his colleages at Forbes, it's much wiser to just make shit up.

HOWEVER. I am not the first person to have followed this rabbit hole. Because at the very top of this article, there is a disclaimer.

Uh oh!

Sid's been called out before, and in the follow up to this article, he reveals the truth.

You can guess where this is going.

So to go back to the VERY beginning of this post, both Pocket/Good Housekeeping and Forbes failed to do even the most basic of research, taking the wild claim that writing down your budget may increase your income by 10x on good faith and the word of a(n admittedly honest about his shortcomings) software engineer.

Why did I spend 30 minutes to make a tumblr post about this? Mostly to show off how smart I am, but also to remind folks of just how flimsy any claim on the internet can be. Click those links, follow those sources, and when the sources stop linking, ask why.

[ellipsus-writes]

(Read on our blog)

Beginning in 1933, the Nazis burned books to erase the ideas they feared—works of literature, politics, philosophy, criticism; works by Jewish and leftist authors, and research from the Institute for Sexual Science, which documented and affirmed queer and trans identities.

(Nazis collect "anti-German" books to be destroyed at a Berlin book-burning on May 10, 1933 (Source)

Stories tell truths.

These weren’t just books; they were lifelines.

Writing by, for, and about marginalized people isn’t just about representation, but survival. Writing has always been an incredibly powerful tool—perhaps the most resilient form of resistance, as fascism seeks to disconnect people from knowledge, empathy, history, and finally each other. Empathy is one of the most valuable resources we have, and in the darkest times writers armed with nothing but words have exposed injustice, changed culture, and kept their communities connected.

(A Nazi student and a member of the SA raid the Institute for Sexual Science's library in Berlin, May 6, 1933. Source)

Less than two weeks after the US presidential inauguration, the nightmare of Project 2025 is starting to unfold. What these proposals will mean for creative freedom and freedom of expression is uncertain, but the intent is clear. A chilling effect on subjects that writers engage with every day—queer narratives, racial justice, and critiques of power—is already manifest. The places where these works are published and shared may soon face increased pressure, censorship, and legal jeopardy.

And with speed-run fascism comes a rising tide of misinformation and hostility. The tech giants that facilitate writing, sharing, publishing, and communication—Google, Microsoft, Amazon, the-hellscape-formerly-known-as-Twitter, Facebook, TikTok—have folded like paper in a light breeze. OpenAI, embroiled in lawsuits for training its models on stolen works, is now positioned as the AI of choice for the administration, bolstered by a $500 billion investment. And privacy-focused companies are showing a newfound willingness to align with a polarizing administration, chilling news for writers who rely on digital privacy to protect their work and sources; even their personal safety.

Where does that leave writers?

Writing communities have always been a creative refuge, but they’re more than that now—they are a means of continuity. The information landscape is shifting rapidly, so staying informed on legal and political developments will be essential for protecting creative freedom and pushing back against censorship wherever possible. Direct your energy to the communities that need it, stay connected, check in on each other—and keep backup spaces in case platforms become unsafe.

We can’t stress this enough—support tools and platforms that prioritize creative freedom. The systems we rely on are being rewritten in real time, and the future of writing spaces depends on what we build now. We at Ellipsus will continue working to provide space for our community—one that protects and facilitates creative expression, not undermines it.

Above all—keep writing.

Keep imagining, keep documenting, keep sharing—keep connecting. Suppression thrives on silence, but words have survived every attempt at erasure.

- The Ellipsus team