#does my thesis count as an obsession

[atypicalacademic]

6 Questions

Tagged by @memaidraws and @dirty-bosmer i love you both!

Last Song: Jaibhim Anthem by The Casteless Collective

Last Show Movie: I haven’t finished any show recently haha, but I did attend a screening of Nanpakal Nerathe Mayakkam  this Friday. Highly recommended! 

Currently Watching: I have a whole bunch of shows on my unfinished list but I’m not actively watching anything. So I will answer with another movie, Aamis (The Ravening), a rather riveting Assamese film I’ve been watching in bits this weekend.

Currently Reading: Aside from what I’m reading for work, I’m shuttling between Sarah Waters’ Fingersmith, and Shoshana Zuboff’s The Age of Surveillance Capitalism

Current Obsession: I have like five of them at once. Currently though I want to fight my writer’s block and get through my Morrowind longfic. My other obsession has been the extremely elaborate AUs @cumbiazevran and I have been making.

Unrelated Obsession: On a quest to find good fried mackarel in this city. 

I’m late to this party so everyone who hasn’t done this already please consider yourself tagged and tag me! I’m nosy.

[castdust]

please come home.

✩ pairing : yoonchae jeung x best-friend!reader

✩about : going back home was just a perfect gift and surprise for yoonchae

✩ genre : fluff

✩ a/n : platonic relationship !! | 1108 words

♫ playing : please come home for christmas by grentperez.

You adjust the angle of your phone, propping it against the books on your dorm desk so it doesn’t fall. Your laptop glows beside you, the half-finished paper glaring back like a judgmental friend. The cursor blinks at you, urging you to focus, but it’s impossible to concentrate when Yoonchae’s voice bubbles through the screen.

“…And then I went to this cute little café in Beacon Hill,” she says, her excitement contagious even through the pixels. “They had this cranberry-orange scone that could put all of those boxed pastries at your cafeteria to shame.”

You chuckle, spinning a pen idly between your fingers. “That’s not a high bar, Chae. You could give me stale bread, and it’d taste better than anything they serve here.”

Yoonchae leans closer to her screen, her hair bouncing as she moves. Behind her, the familiar coziness of her room glows softly. Golden fairy lights strung across her wall twinkle, a fuzzy blanket drapes lazily over her bed, and in the corner, the faint glimmer of a Christmas tree reminds you of home.

You swallow against the knot forming in your throat.

“You sound like you’re in terrible need of good food and fresh air,” Yoonchae teases, resting her chin on her hand. “Seriously, when’s the last time you saw a tree?”

“Does the fake one in the common room count?”

Yoonchae groans, throwing her head back dramatically. “That’s tragic. You’ve been in that stuffy dorm too long. You need sunlight, human connection—Christmas!”

You laugh, but there’s an ache beneath it. Every conversation about home makes it harder to keep the secret you’ve been holding so tightly.

“College life,” you say lightly, twirling your pen. “They give us three weeks off, and half of that’s eaten up by finals and travel time. It’s not exactly a winter wonderland here.”

“But you could come home,” Yoonchae presses, her voice softening. “It’s been a whole year, you know? You missed last Christmas because of that awful schedule. I know it’s not easy, but… it’s not the same without you here.”

Her words hit you hard, sharp like cold air, yet warming in their honesty. Yoonchae has never been one to dance around feelings, and her blunt sincerity always finds a way to your heart.

You stare at your laptop, pretending to focus on the blinking cursor, but your mind spins—not with guilt, but with the excitement of what Yoonchae doesn’t know.

“I wish I could,” you say, feigning a sigh. “But it’s just not realistic. Plane tickets are insane right now, and with everything going on here, I don’t think I could pull it off.”

“Ugh, I hate that,” Yoonchae says, her voice quieter now. “I mean, I get it, but I just… I really miss you. And not just for the Christmas traditions or whatever. I miss you.”

Your chest tightens, and a small smile pulls at your lips. Yoonchae’s always been this way—blunt, caring, and loyal in a way that makes distance feel unbearable.

“I miss you too,” you admit softly.

The silence that follows isn’t awkward. It’s warm, filled with things neither of you needs to say aloud.

Eventually, Yoonchae breaks it, her tone brightening. “Anyway, enough about my feelings. What’s going on with you? Besides drowning in schoolwork, obviously.”

You grin, grateful for the shift. “Not much. Unless you count discovering that my professor has an alarming obsession with cheese analogies.”

“Cheese?” Yoonchae arches a brow.

“Yeah. Like, ‘Writing a thesis is like aging a fine cheddar.’ I don’t know if it’s supposed to be motivational or just… weird.”

She bursts out laughing, the sound so pure and joyful it makes you laugh, too.

“Oh my god, only you would end up with a professor like that,” Yoonchae wheezes.

“Lucky me,” you say dryly.

The conversation drifts from there, like it always does. She tells you about Boston, about running into an old high school friend, and about how her little brother has already eaten half the Christmas cookies their mom baked.

The whole time, you keep your secret close, waiting for the moment it’ll reveal itself—not now, but soon.

When the call finally ends, you lean back in your chair, staring at the dark phone screen. Your cheeks hurt from smiling, but your heart feels fuller than it has in weeks.

You glance at the plane ticket sitting on your desk, the edges curled slightly from being folded and unfolded so many times. In less than twelve hours, you’ll be on your way home.

The next evening, you stand on Yoonchae’s front porch, your duffel bag slung over one shoulder. The air is crisp, sharp against your cheeks, and your breath clouds faintly in the glow of the porch light.

Inside, you can hear muffled voices, the hum of holiday music, and the faint clatter of dishes. It’s exactly as you remember—slightly chaotic, but warm and welcoming in a way no dorm room could ever replicate.

You hesitate for a second, nerves and anticipation swirling in your chest. Then you raise your hand and knock.

It takes only a moment before the door swings open. Yoonchae stands there in fuzzy socks and an oversized sweater, her hair slightly messy and her expression confused at first.

“Hi,” you say, your grin sheepish.

For a beat, Yoonchae just stares at you, her eyes wide, her mouth opening and closing without sound.

“Y/N?” she finally manages, her voice higher than usual.

“The one and only,” you say, stepping forward. “Surprise.”

A half-laugh, half-gasp escapes her before she launches herself at you, arms wrapping tight around your shoulders. Your bag nearly slips from your hand, but you don’t care—you hug her back just as tightly.

“You’re here!” Yoonchae exclaims, pulling back enough to look at you. “You’re actually here! How? When? Why didn’t you tell me?”

You laugh, the sound muffled against her shoulder. “I wanted to surprise you. Figured it was about time I came home for Christmas.”

She shakes her head, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “You’re ridiculous. But this is the best surprise ever.”

“Good,” you say, your smile widening. “Because I’ve got a whole week to make up for last year.”

She grins, grabbing your hand and pulling you inside. “Come on. Mom’s going to lose her mind when she sees you. And you’re not escaping cookie decorating. We’re doing that tonight.”

You let yourself be tugged into the warmth of the house, the scents of cinnamon and pine wrapping around you like a hug. Your heart feels light, your worries left behind.

It’s good to be home. For the first time in a long time, everything feels right.

[enlitment]

N°2 for the book asks

Thanks for the ask kind anon and sorry for taking forever to answer! (this one was not easy!)

Top 5 books of all time?

In no particular order:

1. Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood

Set in an interesting historical period (Canada in the 1800s) + partially based on real events + focuses on women's issues + from a female perspective + includes complex, morally grey characters + unreliable narrator trope + criminal (sub)plot + weird historical psychoanalysis & psychiatry + some really great writing. Need I say more?

(Also the show is actually really good as well, if you don't feel like reading the book!)

2. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

I mean, it's a classic for a reason. Gay yearning. Corruption. Murder. Beautiful descriptive prose. But hey, this is Tumblr, so I feel like I'm preaching to the choir here.

(Still need to get my hands on the uncensored version at some point!)

3. The World's Wife by Carol Ann Duffy

I've reread this one more times than I can count. Duffy draws on the classics (mostly Greek mythology, but also fairy tale characters and even Faust) but reimagines them through a more contemporary, as well as female perspective. That could go wrong really easily, but this book in fact does a stellar job in my opinion.

Just read Eurydice, my favourite (I don't think I've ever felt quite as represented by a poem before). Or Medusa. Or Pygmalion's Bride.

Or, you know, and poem that is not Mrs. Tiresias - I like to pretend that one is not there.

4. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

Very much my teenage obsession. It's a gripping read written from the point of view of a teenage criminal that speaks in a strange mix of English and Russian that is at first barely coherent. It's raw, it's brutal, but it also asks some very interesting questions about the nature of morality and free will in a way that does not feel forced.

Oh, and the movie's great as well. Possibly the best soundtrack of all time. So good and so problematic that it's been banned in the UK until the 2000s.

5. The Great Cat Massacre (and Other Episodes in French Cultural History) by Robert Darnton

A collection of essays focusing on the microhistory of 18th century France? It's a real mystery why I like it so much, huh.

It's actually a bit insane how much I owe to this book. It arguably helped to spark my Rousseau and Diderot (and, in general, enlightenment era) obsession. I also sneakily reapplied Darnton's argument to justify my thesis (it's totally necessary to study 18th-century mental health approaches, give me all the funds now, please! /s).

Darnton is not only a hilarious author, but you also get a sense that he truly cares about the people he writes about. If you get your hands on it, I recommend reading chapter 4 (includes police description of the key enlightenment figures, like V, Rousseau, and Diderot!) or chapter 6 (the Rousseau stan culture analysis).

Maybe skip the titular chapter, especially if you are fond of cats. I'm afraid the name is, in this case, quite literal.

[lixenn]

OCtober 2024 day 23: community

@myrmyrtheorca one science girl coming right up! Anemone is also working hard, pipetting lots for qPCR 🫡 what a legend!

A yapping essay under the cut, I will talk science so you have been warned.

Now before I ramble about science I'm just gonna talk about the art for a bit. I did use a reference for this because I'm not insane and drawing the lineart with it was ... alright I would say. I actually looked through my own pictures and my uni website first in case I could find something as a ref but no dice so I needed to look it up anyways. I think the most difficult lineart to draw was the fucking pipettes... I need everyone to know that all the lab equipment (except maybe the blue regant holder) is a simplification of what it actually looks like because by god I could not replicate the real thing with my current skill set. I know most people will not give a fuck but I do so it needed to be said.

Otherwise colouring went okay and rendering wasn't extremely tedious. I noticed that I actually really like rendering blond hair, years ago I found this hack where you use red for the shadows and turn the opacity down and it works so well every time, I'm a bit obsessed tbh. I need to give more of my OCs blond hair lmao.

Okay enough about art let's talk science! Honestly this is really just me explaining science stuff, so feel free to skip because this can get long.

As I mentioned above I drew Anemone doing qPCR and I chose qPCR because her focus is genetic research. So basically she looks into the human genome (entire set of human genes) to see how it correlates to the Pallid Flame.

qPCR stands for quantitative polymerase chain reaction or real time polymerase chain reaction (RTpcr) and it's a valuable tool for analysing stuff down to genetic aka DNA level. You might have learnt about PCR in school but if not or if you've forgotten: PCR is the amplification of a specific gene aka you take one specific part of someone's DNA and replicate it a bunch of times. This is useful if you want to proof if a specific gene is present in the DNA you are analysing. Now qPCR also does the DNA amplification but as it already implies with the name it also counts how much the gene was amplified. You can use qPCR in many applications for example I used this method in my thesis to test if skin related genes are upregulated (higher gene expression aka genes are more activated? <- me trying to simplify genetics I'm not sure if this is the correct term of phrase) or down regulated (lower gene expression) when I put mast cells in my skin models. It gives you insight how certain factors affect cells on DNA level and since it will give you number at the end you can do statistics which is what everyone will really care about. I hope this explanation was at least somehow understandable if anyone has any questions I can talk more about this no prob 🫡

In fact I will talk more about it just... less why you do qPCR but more on how you do it. Because the thing is with this method... You need to pipette, you need to pipette A LOT. And honestly I'm really not a fan because you need to be so exact with this pipetting since each mistake you make stacks up and shows in your data at the end. It's very frustrating especially because there are a lot of steps where you can make mistakes and you need to be fully concentrated the entire time. I... I would say I'm good at my job but I really don't like this part of it because it grates on my nerves. But I think Anemone would be good at it, it's something repetitive that requires a steady hand and patience. Normally post Docs and even some PhD students let assisstants handle this job but I'd like to imagine that Anemone likes doing small things occasionally. Maybe not the entire process (there's a lot of prep work required for qPCR) but the last few steps she can take over, just for a change of pace.

[destieltaggedfic]

so i might have become obsessed with the movie twisters and i'm dying for some storm chaser destiel fic, if you know of any good ones? i couldn't find many, but even if they aren't storm chasers and just tornadoes/thunderstorms/bad weather is featured, i'll take it! i'm desperate! i'm not against the bare minimum of reading about them huddling for warmth in the rain at this point lol! anyways i love your blog and everything you do, you're awesome 💙💚

interesting, I think one of these is actuallly an adaptation of Twister, but its been years since I saw that movie so I might be wrong.

Significant Severe – Tossukka   Ao3

AU.  TV meteorologist Castiel is disdainful of storm chasers, seeing them as thrill-seekers.  When you-tuber Dean hears this he invites Castiel to come out with his team and see first hand the important work they do.

Word Count: 22k                              Graphic Sexual Acts

i said i'd give my life for just one kiss – Duckyboos   Ao3

AU.  Dean uses unsigned divorce papers to lure his ex out to see the built version of a machine for scanning tornadoes that they had theorised together.

Word Count: 2k                                 No Sex

Chasing Your Heart – deancaskiss   Ao3

AU.  Despite only having minutes until a tornado forms, Dean stops to help the guy broken down on the side of the road.  He coaxes Cas into his car as it’s the safest place to be as they chase the storm.

Word Count: 5k                                 No Sex

Into the Whale's Mouth – jordinawrites   Ao3

AU.  Needing something to write his final thesis on, Cas asks if he can write about Dean’s storm chasing hobby.  He’s going to learn that not only does Dean have an interest in weather but also him.

Word Count: 21k                              No Sex

Chasing Storms – CastielsHeart   Ao3

AU.  Rival storm chasers Dean and Cas had a one night stand last year and have been ignoring each other since.  Until Cas’ car breaks down and Dean finds him.

Word Count: 4k                                 Graphic Sexual Acts

[not-terezi-pyrope]

How did you get into AI (and maybe compsci more generally)? I'm curious in part to know more about your background, but also because I'm interested in getting into it as well

Huh, big question.

Well, I got into compsci via programming and pretty young. I mean, I was always interested in computers as that's the field my dad works in and his excitement for games and hardware transferred. I was particularly into source engine games from his influence, which lead to me being super obsessed with Garry's Mod when I was 10, and when I was 11-12 ish I discovered the "wiremod" logic mod for that, and was instantly entranced building robots and mini-computers in game. Initially that was by hooking up discrete logic gates, but then I discovered that there was an entire full-featured programming language built into the mod as well, and teaching myself that while playing the game after school was how I learned to program.

I wanted to take that to some non-gmod contexts as well, and so I learned a bit of Java via "Greenfoot", which was/is(?) a library and web community for building little 2D Java games, popular with kids and teens. I actually won an iPod in a Greenfoot coding contest when I was 13. I carried that interest in programming through school, where I did computer science at GCSE and AS levels, then after a brief foray at studying film for less than 6 months, picked up programming as a proper hobby again when I was 19, and went to do a Computer Science degree because I was transparently so much better at programming than I was any of my arts stuff, lol. It's uniquely compelling and fits right in my brain the way nothing else does.

The AI interest mostly comes from fiction, again from pretty young. Portal (another source engine game) was one of my favourite games as a teenager, and I spent a while in Garry's Mod building my own automatons and autonomous robots, and creating wiremod bots that could talk in chat, respond to commands, do some basic statistical language analysis, pretty much figuring it out just off the top of my head.

That interest in artificial intelligence lead to me following the field pretty loosely for a while, and I discovered transhumanist thought in my late teens, and was interested in simulating cognition more specifically as it related to subjects like mind uploads, but I didn't get super into AI as a discipline until I discovered the first online GPT-2 demo in 2018 and read the associated papers. I was like, "oh, fuck. This is like nothing we've ever had before, this is going to change the world, I am fascinated by this and I should try to get in on this now". That lead to me focusing on AI for my undergraduate thesis and then later for my master's degree. I would be working in AI now, if I hadn't entirely failed to find any good roles, and also, if I am honest, if the online conversation around and backlash to LLMs and so forth hadn't soured a lot of my initial enthusiasm, which makes it hard to stay fully up to date with the field. My current job is more general IT work with some programming sprinkled in.

Because the sad thing is I was absolutely right, three years before anyone outside of computer science noticed, in predicting that attention transformers were going to completely upend the tech field and how we interact with computers. What I got wrong in my naivety was thinking that people would respond to that in a good way. Instead it's mostly been distrust and revulsion, which in some respects is understandable, and in others is really sad, especially given the potential that was and is still there. But I worry that this idea that AI is the domain of conniving capitalist techbros is fast becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy as everyone who genuinely cares about social issues (I count myself among them) is driven by an almost overwhelming tide to divest themselves from anything that has the whiff of a neural net about it.

I am at least partially resisting for now.

[mairon-goth-minion]

As you read the whole ass master's thesis I'm about to send you, just remember you asked for it okay??

I'm not going to link the other two posts I made to people who let me yap about this cos you liked them both already and I'm going to assume you're not so completely obsessed with me that you blindly like my stuff xx I'm going to assume you read the other things I said already cos that's easier XD

SO NOW! I offer you my thoughts on the rosier twins angst this fic is gonna have >:D

Okay so Tom Riddle hacked the apocalypse simulation so that whoever went in completely forgot that they lived outside of the simulation at all ever. Very evil very bad.

BUT! The real stab in the gut is that Evan went into the simulation and Pandora did not. So Pandora remembers her twin brother and their childhood and all they've been through together when she goes into the sim with james and the rest to stop it, but evan doesn't remember any of ittttt. And he may or may not get some memories back, but until then he's just stuck with this strange and confusing mix of emotions for this girl who looks just like him and who he thinks he's never seen before.

meanwhile, pandora night not have known that the people in the simulation had forgotten everything (maybe I have to work that out logistically to see if it'll work story-wise). So she's excited to finally be able to see her brother again, but when they finally meet he's different than she remembers cos of the trauma of living in an apocalypse, and he doesn't even know who she is.

and to TOP IT ALL OFF i plan for there to be a little while in the beginning where reg's group who were in the sim are pretty wary of james' group cos they've never seen them before and don't trust them. so not only does evan not know who she is, he's possibly borderline hostile to her the first time they meet

AGH! but the moment later in the fic when someone or something is attacking Pandora and she's going to die cos she doesn't think anyone will come to save her?? and then evan comes in and freaking ANNIHILATES the thing and just goes like "don't fucking touch my sister"??? IT'LL BE SO GOOD

so yeah, there you go 🤘shorter than i thought honestly but it's 3am so i blame that

@yesiamprocrastinating you were interested in this too, so here's some more thoughts :D

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE ITTTTTT

I adore angst, and Rosier twins agnst? Count me innnnnnn, and protective Evan gaaaaaaaaaah

[fivveweeks]

Stumbled upon ur tragedy verdante thots.. do u have some more to spare my liege.. obsessed with verdante as a bus stop on the way of their respective journeys… also for this I’m assuming this is with og!dante being unknown to versillius? sigh hm anyway yeah really thinking! Abt requited but situation of it all .. just not being fit for it! Wowzies *takes a drag of ze blunt*

(opening my thesis paper) "a bus stop on the way of their respective journeys" and "requited love but the situation of it all is just not being fit for it" are both incredible ways to summarize my thoughts on verdante being a tragedy GAH

and actually! i do cook this with the idea that vergilius knew pre-clocked!dante and that at worst he either fucking despised them or at best his annoyed indifference towards them. then bam, current dante being SO different and actually is so compassionate and genuinely kind and he doesn't know what to do about it

bc how should he feel when someone you knew who was an asshole turned out to be so... nice. the knowledge that without the city grinding them down dante is actually so kind at their core. at the same time the tragedy of the kindness being torn out of pre-clocked!dante from that. does it count as taking advantage of them when they lost their memories from before? is it hypocritical of him to agree to their... arrangement with that in mind? he's so goddamn guilty about it lmao

don't get me wrong tho Vergilius isn't an asshole to dante for the sake of being mean. nah, if you think about it so far in canon he actually has never gotten pissed at dante before. even when he's threatening them at the start he's just doing his job to kickstart dante into reviving the sinners. and hell, his asshole level to dante afterwards is mostly like, sarcasm and his refusal to give dante any straight answers. he's mostly just an exhausted guy to me lmao

what i LOVE is exploring just how emotionally constipated they are (both of them) and their incapability to properly communicate without being cryptic yet at the same time they've agreed to a colleagues with benefits arrangement that sometimes is domestic if you squint. they're both so funny to me i want to beat them up so bad

[a-swiss-and-a-spaniard]

9 people to know better...

Thanks for the tags @yoellglia, @kingfisherprince & @schumi-nadal (who deserves an extra shoutout for reminding me to answer this with her latest tag!)

LAST SONG: anywhere but here by PVRIS

FAVOURITE COLOUR: any shade of blue, particularly dark ones

CURRENTLY WATCHING: Nothing(? I guess I watched the 24 hrs with Roger videos that came out a few days ago… does that count? If we're talking series/films here, then nothing. The last series I finished was Fellow Travelers and it emotionally destroyed me, so I took a break. I'll probably be watching some feel-good show next to balance that out

SWEET / SAVOURY / SPICY: I'm gonna scale it ✨spicy✨> savoury > sweet. Not to play into stereotypes but as mexican I really can't live without chili lol

I can enjoy sweet stuff but in very small quantities bc I get sick of the taste

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single. I don't think I have the time or energy for anything serious right now. My life is a bit of a mess at the moment and I just want to finally get my degree 😭

CURRENT OBSESSION: Then again, nothing. I've been pretty normal about stuff lately, even tennis. Idk how long that'll last though, we'll see

LAST THING YOU SEARCHED: a ton more references for my thesis/degree project and some Casper pictures from the Acapulpo final bc I want to draw him when I have some free time

I'm tagging anyone who sees this and feels like doing it bc I'm pretty sure most tennisblr has already been tagged and answered a while back lol

[briarborealisocs]

favorite niche piece of media? elaborate.

ok i don't know exactly how niche this is but my favorite movies of all time are both like. not extremely popular so

ok my two favorite movies of all time are tied and it's the prestige and the count of monte cristo (2002)

so. the prestige. it's a story about two magicians in 1890s london. they hate each other. they hate each other so much. i can't even explain the movie without giving anything away because it's an absolute masterclass in foreshadowing and well-earned plot twists. it's sort of a mystery but not really. it's DEFINITELY a drama. it's the world's greatest revenge story. it's about hatred and obsession and how they ruin your life. it's about magic. it's about humanity. it's about not believing the obvious answer even when it's right in front of you because it's too simple. nikola tesla is there and plays a major role in the story. it's a frame narrative with three levels - you're watching the story of a man reading a diary about how that diary's author was reading the first man's diary. there's a murder trial. the plot twist is so well earned. it's a million times better on the rewatch and i catch a new detail every time i watch it. the cinematography is absolutely gorgeous. if you're paying attention you can catch the biggest plot twist 10 minutes into the movie but no one ever does, which is in and of itself the thesis of the movie. michael caine plays the best character in the movie. i think everyone should watch the prestige

the count of monte cristo (2002) is the most recent(?) film adaptation of a famous classic french novel by the same name. it's ALSO a revenge story. it is probably the most satisfying revenge story ive ever seen. the absolute catharsis of watching the main character's revenge plot come together and get executed flawlessly is like doing straight heroin. napoleon bonaparte is there and plays a minor role in the story. there's a scene that makes me cry. if you asked me what love looks like i would point to that scene without hesitation. richard harris plays the best character in the entire movie. there's several extremely punchable men. they all, in fact, get punched. henry cavill plays an entitled rich 16 year old boy with daddy issues. the pacing of the story is phenomenal. my favorite scene in the movie involves a hot air balloon and an absolutely pimpin outfit, complete with cane

i love these movies so much. the prestige i watch when im in the mood for like an insane drama but the count of monte cristo is just a feel good "sit back and relax and eat some chocolate" movie

[webslingingslasher]

hiiii - 🤍 here

I LOVE YOUR NEW THEME!

but you know what i love more than the theme? CHAPTER 2!!!

I SCREAMED. I DIED. I NEEDED A DAY TO RECOVER. i was SO EXCITED AHDSJKAKJ

first of all, christine. i liked her at first, then she annoyed me bc why is she fucking the guy trouble wanted to fuck. especially KNOWING they were hooking up? fuck off. even tho trouble didnt care it pissed me off djfjkdjkd

THE BEGINNING MENTION OF TRENT MADE ME SO EXCITED bc i read the prologue and had NO idea what was going on. like? are trouble and trent secretly hit men? what is going on. I WAS SO EXCITED AND YOU DELIVEREEDDDDDDDDD. peter RISKING IT ALL FOR TROUBLE ON LIKE, DAY 2 OF KNOWING HER is so real. and he acts like he doesn't care. puh-LEASE!

NFDJKHDSHFJKSHJ NO J IM SO FUCKING EXCITED ADHJSAHDFDKSHKJFSDH IT WAS SO GOOD!!!! THE KISS? ARE YOU INSANE? IT LEFT *ME* BREATHLESS. I WAS SCREAMING. I STILL AM FDHJKFHSJDKHFJDS AHHH BABY TROUBLE AND PETER🥹🥹🥹 im crying. reading this knowing how far theyve come makes me cry bv its fr BABY TROUBLE AND PETER. i love that shes always been delusional. she's just like me <3

ALSO OH MY GOD. PETER PROTECTING HER????? BEING THE HUMAN SHIELD IN BETWEEN TRENT? J I CRIED. I SCREAMED. DFUIDSHJKHJFKGSDHKJ IM SO FUCKING EXCITED. hes so mmmm so sexy! i love (1) one man. only one. maybe two if we count ethan.

SPEAKING OF ETHAN - peter wanting trouble so much he fr gets annoyed at ethan for thinking hes trying to get with her??? ARE U INSANE. I KVDJSKLFJKS. thats his brother for life but he wants trouble so bad, suddenly he cant think straight and is like puffing out his chest when ethans there. i giggled at the taylor swift mention. djsjkfksl

THE WHOLE THING WAS SO GOOD STIOFGJFDIOGD

trouble high is my fav thing. its also making me think ab intox kink with peter but i wont go there rn

her not needing a trip sitter is so iconic but peter was def watching her every move incase she needed one and would pretend he wouldn't.

“Want my advice? Parker is your best bet.”  why was this so hot. im so down bad. like. its shocking. im obsessed

also using rice water bc of christine now.

ally is the cutest bestie.

“Funny. When I asked she said she had no plans.” 🤭 if you saw my face when i read thidshsjkshdjf

“She’s cool. You know, witty, kind, pretty…”

“She’s difficult and entitled.”  I SCREAMED J. I SCREAMED. i wanna film live reactions to me reading the next chapter bc i swear i screamed and giggled and threw my phone across the wall twice (the screen cracked but there's a screen protector so its okay)

“You saw her first, it’s only fair.” It’s tiny, and it’s a microflash, but Peter grinned. HAJGHJGFDKSHSAJKHJSKAHGJ

JSDJ HDJSFKHSD J I WANNA KEEP GOUNG BUT THIS IS GONNA BE SO LONG IM SORRY. IM OBSESSED WITH EVERYTHING U WRITE ADHJSAHJSA.

ethan saying she wants water and her being like omg i do! SO CUTE.

I could write a thesis statement on peter doing that shot with trouble vs ethan saying no. and i think i will. he's SOOOOOOO- DHJFSJKSHDS

him calling her princess🤭🤭 changing my name to princess brb. he was actually talking to me, j. you got it confused. he wasn't talking to trouble <3. me <3.

i hope trent dies. can we kill him later? just a lil poisoning in the cathedral hall, nothing major <3

him saying she isn't totally insufferable🥹🥹 bare minimum i know but from peter thats basically an "i love you"

“You’re a fucking dick.” 

“Yeah, and you just wanna stick yours in her.” If he wouldn’t be at grounds of expulsion from the frat, Peter would’ve laid him the fuck out right then and there. “Shut the fuck up, Simpson. Just leave it alone.” He does, and throws the door open before parting you with a middle finger.  I CRIEDDDDDD

him calling her freshman after ignoring her after kissing her hurt my feelings but then he breathed or smth the next line and i was like ahh <3 forgiven.

i could go on and on and on but '‘big brother season.’  made me dfjkksd

I LOVE IT SO MUHCSJHDSJ

- 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

THE THESIS YOU JUST WROTE ME IM-???? LET ME SEND YOU A DOLLAR FOR THIS OR SOMETHING??

this actually makes my heart SWELL UP cause like... wow. this means the world. im over here giggling and throwing my laptop at the wall w this!!!

[swordatsunset]

Yayayay got tagged by @obeetlebeetle in a get to know me game I love this shit

Last song: Famous Blue Raincoat by Leonard Cohen, song of all time and also on my orv playlist because I’m insane lol. “You’re living for nothing now I hope you’re keeping some kind of record” etc etc

Currently reading: omniscient reader’s viewpoint volume 4 👍🏼. I’m dying. Otherwise I’m rereading Ishiguro’s “The Buried Giant” and Cohen’s Medieval Identity Machines for my thesis. And am paused on White’s Queen of Air and Darkness as well!

Currently watching: oh god I haven’t watched TV since I finished the bear s2… I am watching the beautiful rain from my window . I am watching cooking videos.

Current obsession: if u all couldnt tell by the state of this tumblr it’s well. It’s orv. Does my thesis count as an obsession. It’s taken over my life so. And fallen London perpetually and forever is in my brain. Building a train to hell takes a lot of time 🫡

Ummm tagging @marsjoram @rozecrest @knittedbond

[andtherestishistory13]

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you'd like to know better!

Thank you so much @sunfl0wer-power for tagging me!! This seems so fun! And also, sorry, this is gonna be long

What book are you currently reading?

I’m a library science student, so I’m reading a bit of everything. But some books that I’m reading for fun are To Kill a Mockingbird (my favorite book), Daisy Jones and the Six, and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. All these books are amazing and I recommend them for everyone if you’ve not read them!

What do you usually wear?

Usually just jeans and a tee shirt most of the time. Whatever’s comfortable to be honest, but I always always wear my wooden peace sign necklace and 2 bracelets on each arm because I think it helps with my balance (it does not, I’m very clumsy)

How tall are you?

In all honesty, I’m 4’9 or 4’10, usually I wear boots to give me some extra height

What’s your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

I’m a Libra, my birthday is October 13th and I’m not 100 percent sure about the celebrity birthday, but according to the Library of Congress, the construction of the White House started on October 13th, so that’s fun!

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

So, for the most part, I go by my name, which is Kasey, but we’re also Southern, so my family has a lot of nicknames. Some of them are: Kase, KK, Issy, Sissy and The Wee One, which is what my dad calls me.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted as a child?

When I was a kid, I wanted to be six foot and married to Brendan Fraser’s character in The Mummy, so no, but I had high hopes 😂

What is something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

I feel like I’m a good listener, and my sister says I’ve got Biblical like patience, so that’s fun. I’m bad at letting certain things go, like I hold certain grudges I guess?

If you draw/write/create what’s your favorite thing that you’ve done created?

I don’t know if this counts, but I wrote my undergrad thesis on Women in Protest Music, specifically Appalachian women, and I’m really proud of it.

Dogs or cats?

Dogs. I’m allergic to cats, and my sister has a barn cat and I’m pretty sure it’s Satan reincarnated.

What’s something you would like to create content for?

I’m not super duper creative, but moodboards seem cool. Like mini Pinterest, it’s cute. I also used to write poetry, and do embroidery, so maybe I’ll get back into that? Who knows?

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

I think I tend to hyper focus on a lot, but my main things are Hozier, Dolly Parton, Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit, Greta Van Fleet, and for some reason, Kermit the Frog?

What’s something you were excited for and turned out to be disappointing?

I was really really hoping to get tickets to Stevie Nicks last year, and right when I had them in my cart, Ticketmaster crashed, then when I went to check them out, they were like, $400, so that sucked.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I can shoot a bow and arrow, and I can kinda dress a deer. Not really hidden, we had to learn in school, but I act like I don’t know so my Pa doesn’t make me help him skin deer when he hunts. It’s gross.

What’s something you wish you had at this moment?

My Masters degree, a better job and concert tickets.

No pressure tags: @weightofdreamssss @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine @m1rkw00dpr1ncess and literally anyone else who wants to do it, I enjoyed it! 😊

[nightguide]

IWANNABEAHEROOOOOO: kids police toy starter pack

like ur ass wanna feel good as white as white as black as a 'shutup' is to a hispanic community to a traumatised paki on the interwebs rn

this is how you shut the fuck up criminal minds style.

so you think you're Reid

that yt guy at the back does all the counting numbers for you while the black honcho at the right is all u need to feel buff and strong anyday, i get ya

this is how you outsmart tiktok

forget how beautiful this asshole is

you don't want him as your 'boyfriend' or else he will narcissistically whoop ur ass into a swivel chair working for 'his algorithm', u don't want to become a 'script' (R.I.P Penelope Garcia for speaking up sooner) give the FBI badge to her and she would kill you, this is how you give the ranks to her and do criminal shit ur own way in other TV shows to say ur that cool enough to find shit ur mom is worth looking for

Glibness/superficial charm (basically being nice) = you have to see their motives in the end, 'like i know you killed a bitch, how did you do it?' and you have to make a model of their accusation cuz they do in every way, look like a bitch, use ur music tastes to support that motive straight away, like i know it ain't Nicki but the nigga been listening to Drake and he ain't saying shit, so Drake must have had a initiative to weaken his enemies before making the 'kind guy' look like the demon, (and so on) like you gotta support 'the bitch is dead cuz u listened to X artist' and you don't like everybody but to support your own philosophy as a practicing musician (i was a Lovatic from 2008 and Demi does not have shit for me to say that i like her music but i am a self-made musician of my own genre of kick ass to the brown community (most vulnerable) at the back, so i know my fanbase cuz the mf ain't no God, so u gotta protect ur own agenda cuz celebrities are everywhere like zombies

Grandiose sense of self worth (bitch, i know ur dad personally *or whoever family member u got along with 10 years before meeting them in a people algorithm event in time*) = okay, so you know my blog and i got a list, and so you justify your own list. the Glee cast are the good guys, so associate it with them to ur own equivalent and you know the bitch is a reasonable lore post the year Glee ended, (like Harper wanted more than that cuz Finn annihilated her chances from 2019 on)

Need for stimulation (your role as a police officer) = you have an obsession, make that a reality to your works as a philosopher, police force have a theory of their own doing which is why they always work to their own thesis to outdo the last bitch that did them too wrong or too good to be here, you primordially hate the bitch to no reality that you winning an argument is your smug right back, like fuck. go Robocop

Pathological lying (reasons to be a goddamn superhero) = be okay with anxiety cuz u train that shit for optimism, always take the scenic route

Conning/manipulative (stay being a sex symbol, like fuck. sell ur relative/s to science if that means ur now police officer) = what is a police officer to you, yea go Bowie or be yourself, be gay af. be good with ur aesthetic that bitch whining wiccas will copy u in 100 years now that ur wrinkles will never fade... but will remain the same in your X relatives eyeballs seeing you look this good

Lack of remorse/guilt (reasons to be a good man but never a good guy) = okay, something may have happened to you that 'made you feel like you were unforgotten' so that is another life saved, you saved them realistically and they told your story cuz that life was yours at some point and that is you in actual reality (you hated life too deeply and that is how you emerged in the creative arts in kindness) approach that cuz that is your superhero mind emerging as a gold star martyrdom to a life he/she/them life saved elsewhere like yours (you're not acting anymore, that's reality)

Shallow affect (you being yourself is actually a curse, so you be the teacher: how you actually feel like a badass while you are being true to yourself is how you outsmart every other spoiled brat like you existing (your anger) = you're not wrong. if anybody errs then have a reason to fight their 'philosophy' cuz they're more attracted to their parents or siblings to take you down cuz that's how they want what you have, so protect that by speaking up for yourself, be aware of the things you dream are of you, so you're that minority now

Callous/lack of empathy (blame games) go conspiracy theorist on their ass and see who they literally side with (loser (poor background) is good but reminder of 'that one relative that made you famous' is actually a death sentence, so use that excuse to beat them up, karma is real)

Parasitic lifestyle (creating a new ideal to settle other police force agenda cuz one of them now has a mole, so sabotage their career to make them learn humbly) = everyday is a real crime situation that makes a lifelong goal in the end, you don't 'just go there', you are, money is the root to all evilest ways to you have to make sure you spend well with who you are, be charitable to an extent that you know who your real enemies are in the end (poorer backgrounds make very good private eyes in the end, so take initiative to what the evil eye can do to you in the end) just make sure there are no buddha's in the team

Poor behavioural controls (learn how to be an idiot) = play with the idea that you're too good and be okay with losing a fight so you know how to switch controls on them growing up (arrogance in your opponents makes them more weaker knowing the daily pattern, like in that drama Prison Break) so it works in circles and you know how the cycle works rotationally to see where you can find ways to hack their philosophy on TV (give Garcia a break is learning to see through her bullshit to Reid's 'So Random!' on Disney Channel, all crime drama's hell (emotional cavity to a premature baby's life is nothing helps them but be 'that guy' to your mother's reason to abort the winning idea, so no change in the team) is that

Promiscuous sexual behaviour (stay with your best friends for life) = you know who they are, somebody at some point has told you the ideals of that best friend who is like of the 'Glee- no. that was me. i told you that, but how????? you are a... and you know how good as shit you are against a Schue. that bitch is dead on Pushing Daisies and you deserve to make yourself feel seen on 9gag with an open opinion for you to pin a bitch to a goal you hate cuz you're that of the... and you know who's who str8 away

Early behaviour problems (childhood shit that does NOT leave you til your adult self is truly happy af) = you're petty. now never.. stop being petty, find petty role models (mine was personally the White Witch from Narnia, cuz ur cold self is a metaphor of what everybody thinks ur like when ur pissed and when u meet them, ur mind is blown cuz u never thought u would be that cold until u discover that u got a warm side that was shared in ur group of 5 in a DnD game of supreme DC/MARVEL badass bitches that are supergood at something and that is like... rare in your life cuz that is like ur life goals, yk what i mean

Lack of realistic, long-term goals (best friend shit with that brother u love since life is forever) that is like ur the phone case to their phone charm, but u know that is the only 2 that matters but like, u know everybody has a cute side with that brother u love too much for their own good which is like 'u touch her or I WILL KILL YOU' cuz ur lives is too similar to each other like that

Impulsivity (what do bff's do if the world is actually superhero) yea, die for that world. it is shit af. watch ARY or FOX news on BBC or something 24/7, hear ur relatives complain, now die for those bitches that are not even dead before you cuz they're the ones who ruined ur life long term, think about the teachers who ignored ur life by not seeing you, they're now similar to surgeons who fucked up too hard on looking at you when you were the one who needed saving and not them, they're the ones who are too jealous over your stance rn on living. now kill them

[parasit-kind]

4. comme des garcons: when the balance is just lost...

before i got myself into fashion, i was solely an art geek. i am a particular fan of anything that takes the art community’s obsession with realism and humanity by the arm and throws it into a ditch, namely movements such as suprematism and the war era avant garde in general. therefore i am as well a keen enthusiast of all things cdg... except for when i see them in motion. therein lies my query: why are cdg main line garments so truly awkward to look at?

my thesis: these garments have failed to find a balance between sculpture and human dress. not that they are too sculptural, nor that they are too practical. rather, they seem to completely falter from reaching either of these two ends, even while exerting so much effort trying to achieve something in between both. take, for example, the beloved spring 23 show. seeing these designs through photographs, i was amazed. they were beautiful, innovative, yet seeing them in video made me feel uneasy. a fashion picture does not communicate how a garment actually sits, for a fashion picture is no different really than any other flat media. it’s simply like looking at a picture in a gallery. but when fashion must actually serve its practical purpose, that is when the errors typically become visible. upon watching the video, i noticed how ill fitting the garments appeared, how strange they looked being on a person, being worn. 

sometimes, art and wearable fashion should remain of two different worlds, and with comme des garcons, i unfortunately believe this to be the case. the aspiration to create these surreal ultramodern sculptures to be worn in a somewhat pragmatic way is too strong. it lessens the beauty of the design, makes it cheaper and attempts to restrict it only to the bounds of being something equivalent to a t-shirt. by both the model and the garment failing to compliment one another, the design cannot be counted as a wearable item, nor as a thing of fine art. the balance is neglected for the sake of promoting two ideas at once, and thus, it looks just plain stiff... 

the designs at the comme des garcons main line are really something of a feat, something little art nerd me would much rather ponder upon as a sculptural work, rather than as a weird dress.

>parasitka პარაზიტკა

[sheadre]

Lady of Darkness (WWX x Reader) Part Three

Summary: One evening, when Yiling already went to rest for the night, one Wei Wuxian is restlessly staring out the window of the inn when he spots a woman walk down the empty street. That woman sings beautifully, her form enveloped in darkness as she walks. But who could that woman be? What does she want here?

Word count: 2290

Warnings: mentions of blood, mentions of violence, angst

A/N: Yes, I came back, I'm alive! But not for long, haha ^^' I still have to finish my thesis so I'm gonna go back MIA for a while! However, I will def continue once I handed in every paper to my uni and you will be bombarded with a tone of ideas I had while I wasn't active here! Lots of love! <3

Part One - Part Two

Wen Xuan stood by the lotus pods on Burial Mounds as she watched Wei Wuxian pluck the seeds out of one of the plants. It has been a few months since she first met him. Life here was tranquil for a while, however, ever since Wei Wuxian went to the banquet in Lan Ling, it was like everything was going downhill.

She kept warning him that living a life like this could lead to his demise sooner than later. It seemed that all her words meant nothing to him and were thrown out the window the second they left her lips. They no longer played around with challenges and spent their time arguing. Wen Xuan missed those times to be honest but she knew that if she didn’t try her best to warn him and keep him safe, then she would be a bad friend.

A friend…

Nowadays, she wished that she could be just a simple woman, living an ordinary life, getting engaged and married eventually, finding love and fulfillment in simpler things. A-Yuan noticed how she no longer was singing unconsciously while doing her duties, making her realize that maybe she had more problems than she thought she had. Looking at Wei Wuxian, she felt a strange longing in her heart, a fondness and warmth. A smile always gracing her lips whenever she spotted him, but now… now she was biting her lip in worry, her heart pounding against her ribcage heavily.

The elders were resting, only Wen Qing was around, cutting herbs when she stepped outside the cave. Wen Xuan’s worry only grew each day as she knew that most people wanted Wei Wuxian dead. She saw the good he was trying to do against the injustice, but sometimes, it was just not the right time to be playing the hero. Her heart melted the ice around itself ever since she met him. Somehow this one person was capable of making her see how the world is so vast, filled with many different colors and possibilities.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Wei Wuxian looked up with a confused expression at her. Her gaze however, stayed on his form unwavering.

“I’m worried about you, Wei Ying.”

His name fell from her lips with exasperation, a tiredness that filled her soul. She tried to be as nonchalant as possible, knowing that taking things too seriously or letting Wei Wuxian know that she was indeed serious about a topic would only make him skittish.

Wei Ying stood to his feet, his eyes narrowing at her.

“You don’t want me to go to my nephew’s birthday.” he huffed, irritated. They had a fight over the topic already, Wen Qing joining in as well. Cornering her friend however, did not work out the way she thought it would. Wei Ying felt a million miles away from her ever since the arguments started and Wen Xuan was growing desperate in trying to reach him.

“I have a reason. Do you think they will not try to harm you? Jin Guangshan cannot wait to take that damned Stygian Tiger seal from you! It became everyone’s obsession!” she reasoned which rather sounded like pleading.

“I am completely safe! I can protect myself!” he yelled at her, fed up with how many times the two girls tried to stop him. His eyes flickered in red but Wen Xuan was not someone to back down against any man.

“Against the whole cultivation world?!” she cried out angrily, eyes blazing with fire. “You, the Great Yiling Laozu against the world! No one can hurt you, right? You’re such a powerful, strong individual!”

Out of anger, she kept insulting him with that cold tone. Getting under others’ skin was after all an easy thing for her to do.

“What is wrong with you?! Why are you acting like that?!” he fumed. Wen Xuan shook her head in disbelief. Was it not easy to guess? Was it not obvious? She couldn’t bear to look at him anymore and fled the scene, leaving Wei Ying to dwell on things on his own.

By the time she emerged from the cave, Wei Wuxian had already left with Wen Ning. Her anger somewhat dimmed but she still couldn’t watch the whole thing playing down. Wen Xuan already witnessed many horrible things and losing a person who was one of the most important to her felt like someone punched a hole through her chest, grabbed her heart and ripped it right out of her body.

It was night time when she reached the next city. The people seemed restless and some cultivators were heading the way she came from. Fortunately, she managed to hide from their eyes and find a spot in an inn. Wen Xuan sat quietly in a dark corner, sipping on her tea when her ears picked up the conversation of a group of men two tables further down from her.

“Why are there so many cultivators running towards Lanling? Did they invite the whole world for another banquet? It wouldn’t be new, they like to flaunt their fortune! Zui!” a burly man said in disgust, clearly not fond of the Jin sect.

“Haven’t you heard?! Man! You’re living a way too secluded life after all!” another slapped his knee. “Let me tell you then, the Yiling Patriarch was invited to the sect heir’s son’s birthday celebration but the foul man that Yiling Patriarch is, he killed Jin ZiXuan! They got into a fight over something but the sect heir died and now everyone wants to hunt down Wei Wuxian!”

Wen Xuan accidentally let go of her cup, drawing attention to herself with the sharp clinking of the porcelain. She quickly fumbled with her tea, wiping up the spilled liquid avoiding the stares. Fortunately, people turned their attention away and continued their conversations. With trembling hands, she placed back everything and paid quickly. She needed to get to him. She needed to save him.

When Wen Xuan reached Lanling it was already on fire, the sounds of swords clashing filled the night. She made her way inside to see cultivators going at each others’ throats while they tried to get rid of the animated corpses roaming around and attacking them. It was all a blur as she looked around. Wen Xuan couldn’t make out which limb belonged to which person.

She quickly spotted her friend. Wei Wuxian was glowing with anger as he played Chenqing, the melodies filling her ears. Suddenly, a different melody hit her ears, her eyes skimming over the crowd but she couldn’t tell where the different notes came from. Furrowing her eyebrows she jumped into action, her voice following the melody Wei Wuxian was playing, strengthening his control over the corpses. But it wasn’t enough.

Things escalated so fast that she barely had time to process what was happening. Jiang Yanli’s desperate voice came from her side. Walking over, Wen Xuan made sure that no one could get close to the other woman. She knew that Jiang Yanli was important for her friend and so she made sure to keep her out of harm's way. Jiang Cheng made his way to her in time but when he noticed Wen Xuan, he pointed his sword at her throat threateningly. She stared at him coldly but did not make any threatening move.

“Who are you?!”

Jiang Wanyin looked mostly frightened as his eyes looked at her with distrust. She stepped back a little from his sword before she replied.

“Wei Wuxian’s friend. Keep an eye on your sister, she shouldn’t be here.”

“Don’t-”

“Where is A-Xian?”

Jiang Yanli’s voice came from behind Jiang Wanyin, she held onto her brother but her eyes looked at Wen Xuan with hope.

“You should get out of here. It is dangerous for you to be here at the moment.” Wen Xuan shook her head.

Jiang Cheng knew she was right and so he turned to his sister, ushering her back to the Jiang clan’s disciples. Suddenly the corpses started acting wild, attacking her and even if she tried her hardest she couldn’t keep them back. Looking around frightened, she saw Wei Wuxian kneeling on the ground. Her heart thumped hard in her chest as she watched him crying out desperately.

“Wei Ying!”

Wen Xuan’s voice seemed to have reached his ears and soon, he looked up to see her approaching form.

“What are you doing here?! Go away!” he yelled at her but his handsome face was not angry so much as scared. Scared for her life. Wen Xuan smiled at him gently and pulled him to his feet but he quickly shook her hand off of himself and jumped into the air. Her heart pounded heavily in her chest as she watched him.

Wei Wuxian took out the Stygian Tiger Seal and it seemed like time stopped. Everyone’s attention was drawn to his form.

“Since you all want to obtain it so badly, then each of you use your own abilities to snatch it.”

Wei Ying threw the Seal into the crowd, the dark energy quickly surrounding it and breaking it into small pieces.

“Wei Ying!” she cried out but he no longer listened. She felt his tears land on her cheek from above making her heart break at his pain. This shouldn’t have happened if she could be quicker, if she didn’t leave Burial Mounds in her anger. Regret filled her veins as she watched him jump to the side, landing on the edge of the cliff. Her eyes widened in horror and quickly followed him, her mind filled with panic.

“Wei Ying! Come back!” Wen Xuan cried out, standing there with her feet rooted to the ground. It was already too late as Wei Wuxian stepped back and let his body fall. Wen Xuan jumped after him to grab his hand, her body piercing through the air like an arrow.

Her heart filled with hope when she finally felt his slender fingers in her palm and she clutched onto him tightly. She landed on the ground as she held onto his hand, her waist painfully impaled by the stone under her. Wei Wuxian was quite heavy compared to her which made both of them slowly inch downward. She couldn’t keep him up much longer but she knew she had to try. She couldn’t let go.

“Wen Xuan…” he breathed as he looked up at her. “Wen Xuan, let go.”

Suddenly, hands grabbed her waist, pulling her back slightly and another hand grabbed Wei Wuxian over her small hand. She looked over her shoulder to see Lan Wangji, blood dripping down his arm from a cut he received previously. Wen Xuan smiled in gratitude but that soon turned into panic.

Jiang Wanyin walked up behind the two of them, his sword drawn out of its sheath, his features contorted by anger.

“Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Wanyin cried out, his voice filled with hatred, disappointment and anger but mostly.

“No!”

“Go and die!”

The sword embedded into the stone under her and Wei Ying quickly pulled his hand out of her grasp. Wen Xuan’s heart stopped beating for a few minutes as she watched him fall to his death, tears rolling down her eyes.

Thirteen years later ~

Some things never change. Wei Wuxian still disliked the way everything was so restricting in the Gusu Lan clan. Lan Wangji brought him to Gusu after defeating Jin Guangyao and the world seemed to settle into peace.

“Lan Zhan! Wait for me!” Wei Ying hurried after his friend who seemed to be eager to show him something.

Wei Wuxian couldn’t seem to shake the memories of Wen Xuan out of his head. She knew things would turn bad, she tried to warn him but he only driven her away… but then she came back, almost losing her life while trying to protect him. He remembered the desperate cry he heard when he fell off that cliff, his eyes trained on her pained features, her agony showing on her beautiful face.

He knew that she must be somewhere far away or maybe she died and now she got her peace. His heart strangely skipped a beat at the thought of her being dead. After all the time they spent together he grew fond of her. Before meeting her, none of the girls grabbed his attention, he couldn’t really tell why exactly but their meak personalities never appealed to him somehow. Wen Xuan was different, she never backed out of an argument, never feared opposing him.

“Where are we going? Why aren’t you telling me anything?” he kept on nagging Lan Wangji but the tall man refused to say anything. Then his eyes widened when he recognized the place. The cold pond where Lan Zhan healed his wounds after getting punished with Wei Wuxian still looked the same. What shocked him was to see a figure standing by the shore.

“You brought an old friend, I see.”

That voice.

Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened in shock, his feet leading him to the figure wearing all white. The hood covering her head was reaching down to her nose, hiding her gaze as long as it was pulled over her head. Her dark hair was pulled into a long braid that reached her hips. He grabbed her shoulder and turned her around to see her beautiful face, however, now her left cheek had a long scar running from her temple to her chin. However, to Wei Wuxian, Wen Xuan was still as beautiful as before no matter what. Her lips pulled into a gentle smile when she took him in.

“Wei Ying, hao qiu bu jian.”

End ~