#does it go based on severity?

[dark-elf-writes]

Do you think Hiruzen last thoughts were of the assbeating he would get as soon as he died? Or does that require a certain level of self awareness that he ain’t capable of?

[firestorm09890]

Penny stardewvalley makes me so sad because she's SO sensitive to, like, basically everything you tell her (telling her that you can't stand children while two children are nearby is a pretty lousy move but -1500 friendship?? being a jerk to other characters' faces typically loses you about 50 points, and if you choose the option labeled "creepy" and ask Leah for a kiss in her 2 heart event she physically hits you and kicks you out of her house but that's only -100 friendship…) and so if you want to befriend her it's a whole lot of lying and tiptoeing around her feelings (2 hearts: George was right but saying that makes her feel bad. 6 hearts: her food sucks but even if you try to be polite about it she feels like a failure; only a bald-faced lie pleases her. 8 hearts: saying you don't want to be tied down with a family loses you a little bit of friendship and she's only happy if you say you want kids) and I can't help but think she's a product of her environment. She lives in a trailer with only her mother, who gets drunk every night and has something of a temper. Penny's like a skittish rescue animal who won’t even come out from hiding under something unless you leave her lots of treats

[laniusbignaturals]

ceasar is a beached whale with a several metere long penis

Four months ago you people were presented with a single piece of line art where Caesar had his yams out and took it as tacit approval to gushingly reveal by the dozens that you’d actually really wanted to have Lukewarm Geriatric Summer with a heavyset bald bastard for some time now, but had all simultaneously agreed to keep it on the dl with no coordination whatsoever, out of the collective fear that someone somewhere would give you stink eye for it.

My question is, who else? Who else do a couple hundred of you actually really want to act out an elaborate overstimulation scene with, even though you think it would gauche to say so out loud? We eating Salt Upon Wounds’ ass out next? Would pussy fix Father Elijah?

[puppetmaster13u]

Thinkin about the Meat Marionette Au, specifically the batclan having two bodies. And I apologize if this is rambling lol

I feel like they still train and work out most days (look Bruce has gotten used to picking up his kids, he's not going to stop even if he's in his human body). It's just probably not to the same extent as in canon of a daily thing without giving their bodies a break. That probably actually means their human bodies are healthier than in canon, seeing as one actually needs to let their muscles rest between exercising them. Not to mention they- or at least their bodies- are getting rest. Hell it's almost like their bodies are in comas for a few hours each night what with how low their brain activity would register as.

Now I'm thinking this probably influences how they act and appear towards the public. They shy away from most interviews (they're trying not to hiss or growl) and are mostly quiet whenever they speak in public, so it'd be easier for the tabloids to spin a story about a shy or demure family doing their best to help Gotham. Which is... the complete opposite of what they are, but no one needs to know that.

Others might even go the mysterious hermit route when trying to write a story about the Waynes, seeing as they're not spotted outside often (what with uses of disguises and such) save for the times the patriarch of the family has gone on another adoption spree. Honestly most of the stories about them are either having to do with Wayne industries, the very rare gala that everyone is wanting into, or the several adoptions that have been reported on several times.

Online is another story probably, and there's definitely several memes about each Wayne family member's posts. They're somehow Gotham's darlings despite being social recluses.

That being said, being connected to the Tunnels definitely has an effect on them even in their original human bodies. Not just mentally but physically as well. Like there is some definite off vibes the longer one is in their presence, their movements just a hint too graceful and something almost... predatory about it.

Also slightly random but I feel like Bruce would grow his hair out, like not even purposely at first. He just got caught up in cases and trying to figure out the meat-marionettes (thank you Dick for the name, but did you really have to call them that) that he forgot to get it cut several times. And by then it's just easier to put it in a ponytail than stay still for however long it'd take to get it cut and well, actually look good even if he himself doesn't care about it. Then he also gets kids who want to learn how to do things like braiding hair, which means he learns too and... yeah...

This au is a combo of my cryptid batfam and @phoenixcatch7's possessed doll au, which you need to check out because it's great. A really fun concept and influences a lot of this Au concept too. Also mutual of mine do you have any ideas for their civilian IDs

[outism-had-a-purpose]

Ryoshu and Rodya friendship where they sometimes sleep in each other's room when it gets too much in theirs.

When the candlelight in Ryoshu's gets too bright and suffocating with the heat and reminds her too much of the fire her daughter died in sometimes she knocks (more of. just letting herself in lmao) on Rodya's door to literally cool off.

Sometimes when Rodya's room freezes her down to the bone to the point where that she can't sleep, and the stench and sight of her dead neighbors haunts her every senses, Ryoshu gets a quiet knock on her door, and an even more surprising, a solemnly quiet Rodya outside, asking her if she can take a quick snooze here because she doesn't wanna go out and do the night watch.

Something something the only bed worth sleeping is the one right next to you (sad). Fire and ice duo. you get me riht

[annefic]

Do you think Anne is a pilates girlie? I think she'd love it but would hate group fitness classes like Soulcycle (and the hype around them)

I think Anne is a horse girlie who cannot physically make herself sit still for more than five minutes at a stretch

[9w1ft]

Don't you find the strict rules of society in Japan overwhelming for you and the kids?

not one bit

[the-adas]

*email to my professor* if I threaten to kill myself in front of you will you give me the goddamn extension

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

Absolutely hilarious to me that I can not reliably recognize Daniel Shanks as Daniel in SG-1. If he's not wearing glasses or if he's beat up in some way, I can not reliably recognize him. It's so bad, I've never had this issue with a singular character before.

[catominor]

honestly i have to thank colleen mccullough for making me think about gaius marius instead of this girl i was insane level hung up on (btw i did not even actually date her) last year

[fingertipsmp3]

Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself

[makedamnsvre]

you don't have to read this is for screaming in the void

[pallases]

praying that tmrw’s exam isn’t focused on matrices 🙏🏻🕯🙏🏻

[llycaons]

not that they were on the ships list but some of the boring default m/f ships reminded me of how much I hate wq/jc. like 🤢🤢🤢🤢🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

[inbabylontheywept]

The Motherfucking Lizard King

No one at work trusts my boss. 

He's smart. He works hard. He's not trustworthy. He hasn't actually fucked anyone at work over, but he's ruined his last two marriages with affairs, and got dumped by his third fiance when he wouldn't sign a prenup. The fact that we all know this is just a hazard of working in a small town. 

Anyway: The thought process of the people in the lab is that if he screwed over his first wife, and his second wife, and was probably planning on screwing over his third wife, it would be insane for him not to screw us over. After all, what kind of idiot treats their employees better than their spouse? 

I dunno. His kind, I guess? He's had a few chances to fuck us over, and he hasn't taken them. Opposite really. When our parent company was doing furloughs, he stayed in the office almost a hundred hours, talking and talking and talking his way up the corporate ladder. And in the end, no one at our site got furloughed. 

He's pulled strings like that before. And it baffles me, right? Because it really does make zero sense. He'll move the heavens and the earth for us, but his wife and kids are afterthoughts. It feels like any moment, he's going to look into the mirror and realize how stupid that is. It feels like I'm betting on him making the same stupid mistake again, and again, and again - like it would be less cynical to believe he was, eventually, going to stab me in the back. But he hasn't yet, and as far as I can tell he's been making that mistake for close to fifteen years, and it's already cost him everything it can. If he was going to learn, he would have by now. 

So my position on him is that if he wanted to date someone I cared about, I'd warn them off. I don't trust him there. But I tentatively trust him to be my boss. Maybe one day he'll stick the knife in and twist, and everyone will say Ah, Babs, we warned you, but for now, I accept that he's doing a very predictable, very irrational thing, and I've made my peace with it. 

---

My job has glue traps. 

No one likes the glue traps, but we don't have a lot of options. Poison's banned by state law, spring traps are banned by company safety, and several non-lethal options tried in the past failed to work. The mouse problem can get pretty bad if it's ignored, and there's some real health hazards in that. Our site has never had a positive hantavirus test, thank God, but the big base about a half hour away has. That guy's gonna be on oxygen the rest of his life. 

If a mouse gets caught, we just euthanize it. But more than mice get stuck. Lizards can wander into those traps too, and the people working there have different feelings about the lizards. They don't pose nearly the same kind of risk mice do. They're chill little guys, and they keep the moths away, and they're just 

You know. They're friendly. There's something to be said about walking into a room, and hitting the light switch, and seeing two little guys on the wall start to do pushups as soon as they see you. 

People used to just euthanize the lizards too, but I had pet leopard geckos as a kid and I couldn't take that so I wound up googling how to free animals from glue traps. Now, when a lizard gets stuck in a trap - which happens once or twice a week - I get some vegetable oil from the breakroom, and a little plastic fork, and I'll spend fifteen to twenty minutes just kind of gently prying the little guys out. 

I have a team of technicians that help me operate one of the larger machines. They're real blue collar guys, ex-airforce, and they make me look like a little kid. Being an engineer means they'll look to me as a leader sometimes, which is a wild experience. And I started helping the lizards for my own conscience, but one of the crazier consequences of it has been that it seriously boosted my leadership cred. Because those guys see me, and they go: Hey. If he's willing to fight for a lizard, he's gotta be willing to fight for me. 

I cannot overstate how nice that is. Most engineers that want to make a change to a maintenance practice, or try an upgrade, they have to work their asses off to get the techs to buy in. But I can just ask. They already trust me to do good. They know I'm new, and they know I'm not the smartest engineer in the building, but they also know I'm the one who gets lizards out of the glue traps. 

And just because of that, they're willing to follow me. 

---

My boss has a meeting every month or two. It's typically basic house cleaning stuff - reminders about routines we've gotten lazy on, and updates on future projects. Maybe some warnings about problems coming from higher up in the company.

People are, in my opinion, a bit too cynical about the meetings. It stems from people not trusting our boss, which again, I understand, because it would make so much more sense if he wasn't trustworthy. It's a testament to the man's incredibly unhealthy priorities that he is. But as we made it to the end of the meeting, one of bullet points was: 

Do NOT mess with animals in the building. 

So I looked at my techs, and they looked at me, and when he got to the point, he was so scathing I actually just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. He said basically that he'd heard some reports about someone in the building handling animals that found their way in and got stuck, and that he just wanted to emphasize how insanely inappropriate that was, not to mention dangerous, and that if he needed to speak to anyone about it again, there would be severe consequences. 

I was willing to just take the shame and move on. I was. But one of my techs is old. Old enough he could've retired two years ago. And his actual literal goal is to one day get angry, yell at someone, and storm out. That's how he wants to retire. So instead of biting his tongue like everyone else, he stood up and said: I hate the glue traps. You hate the glue traps. We all hate glue traps. But we've all sat here for years, ignoring the little things that get stuck in them, watching them die, and then Bab's comes in, and he is the first person in decades to give enough of a shit to start pulling the lizards out. And I don't want him to stop. 

Get humane traps or shut up but we are not going back to the old way of just letting things starve. 

And my boss actually froze up. He got all wide eyed and stared at Marc, and then the other techs jumped in, and there was a very small but intense rebellion in the meeting and my boss kept trying to interrupt while getting absolutely bowled over by this gang of angry middle aged air force vets, and eventually he just went 

I will speak with Babylon about this afterwards! After! And then he will speak with everyone else, but I have more points to cover. 

So they went silent, and my boss rushed through the last five minutes, and we all adjounred. The techs really didn't like that I was going in alone - they thought our boss was going to try and shout me into compliance. Marc in particular was like, Look, if he tries bullying you, stand your ground, and if he threatens anything, just come get us, and we'll give him hell. 

So armed with that, I went to my boss's office. I sat in the chair across from him, and he kept his composure for maybe five seconds before just flopping back into his chair. 

I had no idea you were saving lizards, he said, but I'm glad you are. I always hated seeing them die in the glue.  

I wasn't expecting that. I was about to ask him what the comment from the meeting was about then, but he answered that before I even got the chance.

A snake got into the building last week, and - someone picked it up and chased a coworker around. Turns out that coworker was severely afraid of snakes, and now it's a shitshow. We're a small site, and now I can't ask those two to work together anymore, to say nothing about how the snake fared after all that. Being upset about that is a reasonable thing, right? 

And he gave me a look like he actually wanted an answer, so I said Yeah, totally, chasing a coworker around with a snake is a dick move. Especially if that coworker is already afraid of snakes. 

And he said Exactly! and then we sat there a few moments longer. He looked so incredibly tired that I did, actually, feel kind of bad for him. And then he somehow managed to sink even further into his chair, and said

Look, I know I'm not a good guy. But I'm not evil. I'm not some sort of crazy asshole that's going to demand that everyone watch lizards starve to death. When you go back downstairs, could you try to pass that on? That I'm not evil? 

I said Sure because it wasn't a hard request, and he looked relieved. I actually made it halfway out before I realized I had a question. 

Who grabbed the snake? I asked. 

Not supposed to talk about it, he said. But whoever comes to mind first is probably right. 

ThatGuy? I asked. And he looked me in the face, nodded his head yes, and said No. 

---

The techs seemed a little disappointed that they didn't get to storm the boss's office, but were otherwise in good spirits. They were actually a little bit embarrassed to hear about the snake story - apparently, it wasn't much of a secret. It'd just slipped their minds because it happened three weeks ago. 

We did maintenance after that, the same basic repairs we did every week. The meeting had been stressful and it was a relief to work with my hands. When the parts were reinstalled, everything cleaned and smooth and ready to go, Marc found me again. 

You know what the lesson of today is? he asked. And there were quite a few answers to that that I could have taken - from don't assume the worst of people to be careful with how you spend your trust - we all need it more than we think. 

But instead I said what? because I wanted to hear what his answer was going to be. 

That I got your back, he said. Then he clapped one very, very large hand on my shoulder, gave it a good squeeze, and walked back to dosimetry lab.

---

The next day, Marc gave me a package and told me to open it in my office. I was suspicious, but I followed the request.

Cardboard gave way to a small baggie, obviously full of fabric, which opened to reveal a t-shirt that read

"I Am the Motherfucking Lizard King."

I looked at it, I loved it, and then I got an idea. I went to my boss's office and knocked on the door. When he opened it, I asked him if he would be willing to allow something very unprofessional to happen for morale building purposes.

How unprofessional? he asked. I held the shirt up in answer. He gave the shirt a short look over and snorted.

You can wear it on weeks without customers, he said. Which just so happened to include that week.

I'll pass on that it came with your blessing, I replied, and he looked oddly relieved.

Thanks, he said. And then I went downstairs.

---

The techs were very, very happy to see the shirt. And while my boss's reputation remains in tatters, and probably will be until he moves (or dies), the next time there was a meeting, there was quite a bit less complaining about how mere presence. Which is, I guess, a start.

We'll see if he squanders it.