#does any of this make sense? probably not.

[vampiresbloodx]

Only you.

pairings: Agatha Harkness x Reader (center) (brief Wanda Maximoff x Reader)

word count: 3.4k

warnings: smut, slight fluff, angst, hurt but with comfort, reader has chronic illness, death mentioned, slight violence, mind control, spoilers if you haven't seen Wandavision or Agatha all along, kind of canon, witch!reader, reader struggles a lot, Agatha is obsessed with them, g!n!reader, reader has a vagina, dry humping, degration kink, rough sex, oral sex, top!agatha, bottom!reader, lesbian agatha harkness my beloved.

a/n: first fic I've posted in months, god I miss writing long oneshots, the inspiration is to the fact that I'm obsessed with this milf.

Agatha Harkness had always admired you. From afar, there was no real reason why, unlike most of her motives, she’d always want one thing and one thing only; power. You on the other hand gave her something else much fun. 

She was always going to be obsessed with power. That’s just who she is and who everybody else knows. But she likes to think you know her differently, maybe even better. She couldn’t wrap her head around it when she first met you, of course, your arrival in westview was unexpected. With others not hearing of your name in a while, where you have been, what you have been up to. She knew you liked to keep to yourself, it was a skill really. Especially in the witch world. 

Yes, it added more energy to those names everyone admires or fears away from, for instance, every witch in history and till this day has heard of the scarlet witch. They've heard very little of you, but your name does travel around. 

Since the Salem times. 

Maybe you just didn't like the attention yourself, you were a silent one. Despite your magic. 

Agatha knows that every witches magic reflects who they truly are on the inside. Just no one would expect it from you. 

Obviously, she had checked the most obvious place, Westview. But there was no sight of you, she would have sensed your energy anyway, she just couldn’t feel you anywhere. 

After finally returning back to her true self, not the “agnes” from the last three wasted years of her life. Her first thought was wanting to find you. 

She used to feel you everywhere, now, it was just a memory. 

She wasn’t going to allow that to happen. She knew her mind had been twisted and you wouldn’t have gone that far. 

So why couldn’t she feel you? 

Agatha started to panic from the worst case scenarios that could have happened to you while she wasn’t keeping an eye on you. Did Wanda do something? No, this doesn’t seem like something she’d do without a good reason. Unlike her, you actually made an attempt to be close to Wanda, to try and be her friend, you were casted the role as her best friend, it only made sense. 

She hated that. Watching how friendly the two of you were, how you always were laughing around the other witch, how happy you looked. She wasn’t blind to how Wanda was very touchy with you either. 

It made her sick. 

If only she had the one book that made her feel more powerful than anything else in this world and it didn’t fall into the hands of her. 

But was the dark hold really going to save her? 

Why was she thinking so little anyways? Probably the side effects to what Wanda did to her. 

She didn’t like it. 

She needed to find you. 

She had to. 

There wasn’t really any reason to explain herself, just her feeling. 

-

Sometime, somewhere in Salem, 1600s. 

Your body ached. 

Everywhere there was pain. 

Constant, irritable pain. You couldn’t do anything. There was not much to do when you were bedridden most of your life since you were a kid. You didn’t exactly have the luckiest childhood, where you got to experience going to school, having friends, making memories, first love, first kisses. No. it was just seeing doctor after doctor. 

You got sick easily compared to most children, there was never any reason behind it. Some thought it was the usual with the body changing, puberty, growth, but it was more than that. It wasn’t fair. You shouldn’t have to live like this. 

Then one day, it got better. 

You were still young, you had just turned 18. A big time for people your age. You were becoming an adult. And finally, for once you could breathe fresh air without feeling any sort of pain. 

And of course, that was the year the Salem witch trials began. 

On your birthday, you were to be trailed. 

Then to be dead. 

-

Somewhere, sometime, in modern world. 

Times have changed. 

There were no burning witches, no more trails, it was even considered more accepted. Instead now, they had guns, more firepower than before. 

You’d much prefer the bullet to the head than being burned alive any day. 

It was quick and effective. Well, if used right. 

You should be dead. Even after your trial, you shouldn’t still be alive. Maybe you should consider being more “positive” . It's kind of hard to when you spend most of your youth in bed. 

Now things were different for you, which should be a good thing, but it didn’t feel so. You worked, had your own place to call home, didn’t really bother making any friends, you didn’t care if people thought you were strange to be a loner at your age, you liked that. 

Even so, you don’t even know your age. You know you were once 18, then you made it to your twenties or something, and then it all stopped. You didn’t have the ageing effect everyone else got. Witches aren’t immortal beings, though, we possess the power to live longer than humans, we still age, and look “older.” 

You still looked like you could be a damn college student. And yet you didn’t feel like you were at all. 

God, you were born centuries ago. You can’t even remember your birthday. You usually have to make one up to please those around you, so they don’t have another excuse to make you look even weird. 

You didn’t really understand what the big deal was. 

Sure, now, there were real life superheroes, straight out of the comics, captain america, Iron man, the black widow, Thor, whoever else there was, there were too many of them. 

You wondered why witches didn’t also get this much attention as well. Hell, you could literally move things with your mind, okay, so can some special people with abilities, but they weren’t witches. 

They weren’t born with the ability blessed to know witchcraft. Sure, it can be easily accessible, but only you yourself knows that part of you. 

It was all rather complicated stuff really. 

In all of your time being alive, there weren't that many people who moved you, not quite like her. 

There wasn't just one her. 

These women who impacted your life more than you could have imagined, changed it for the better or for the worse, you wouldn’t know. The names that were carved into your skin, so you could never forget. 

You wouldn’t be able to anyways. 

You never spoke of their names out loud, fearing that they would pop up at any moment, you knew that possibility would be low, still, you couldn’t help but wonder. 

The connections you shared with them is what you miss the most. And their touch. 

You sometimes still see her. Either walking outside of where you worked, in a crowd, in the train, in your apartment, staring at you. 

Just in a blink of an eye, a flash of hair the color of scarlet would pass by, then hair dark as night. 

It was a never ending torment. 

You couldn’t get rid of them. 

Even if you had the choice you wouldn’t. 

It would probably kill you if you tried. 

-

Westview, 2023. 

When you arrived, it was late. Most of the residents of this town would have gone to bed already, not you. You wanted to introduce yourself, the new neighbour moving in, this town didn’t seem that bad, everyone so far was nice to you, welcoming. 

Then you finally met her. 

She came to you first, already expecting your arrival. You were surprised when you opened your door and it revealed a woman standing in front of you. And she was absolutely gorgeous. 

“Hi! I’m Wanda, welcome to Westview!” she greeted with a bright smile, your heart immediately warmed at the sight, the sound of her voice soothed you, you felt so relaxed around her, like you already trusted her. 

It was your turn to introduce yourself, you did so, shyly. 

“What a beautiful name” she complimented with a chuckle, enjoying how flustered you easily got as you avoided her gaze, how you fidgeted with your fingers together. 

“May I come in? I made chocolate chip cookies for my boys, I seemed to have made too many, I always go overboard with my baking. Here, try some, I hope you like them!” she grinned, handing you the container of freshly made cookies that made your stomach growl with hunger. 

They were even wrapped in a cute pink bow. 

You wondered how someone so perfect could exist and breathe the same air as you at the same time, you even questioned if she was really and truly real. But when she leaned in for a hug, you couldn’t resist, and you knew she felt real. 

You didn't mean to end up in Westview, and yet here you are. 

Wrapped around a certain witch's finger, who wants you all to herself, while she watches, from afar. 

-

Shortly after meeting Wanda, you met Agnes. 

Though you felt like you already knew her. From somewhere, sometime, you weren’t sure. She looked familiar. You didn’t get this feeling when you had met everyone else, so why was she different? 

You soon found out why. 

Not very long when chaos struck. 

-

You were running, out of breath, you forgot why you were running in the first place. Were you chasing something or was something coming after you? No. You were heading somewhere. The town that was Westview, now turned to shit, as above you, far from your view, two witches fought. All you could think about was one thing only; fuck the dark hold. 

Fuck whoever created that stupid overly powerful book. It had ruined everything for you, it ruined the ones you loved. 

You couldn’t even do anything about it. 

It was so powerful that someone like you couldn't withstand it. 

And it was crushing everything you loved. 

You wish you could burn it. 

It turned the one witch who saved you all those centuries ago into something twisted, dark. She wasn’t always like that, not the woman you first met and knew, fell in love with, who saved you. Who would walk through hell just to get to you. She will still do that, just she doesn't feel the same to you anymore. 

In her eyes, you still saw the soft Agatha hidden behind all that darkness. Her heart was tainted, you weren’t sure if you liked this Agatha now or the one you met, you can’t help but fall more in love with her. 

And she knows it. 

When she heard you cry out in pain, being thrown by the scarlet witch’s power, she stopped. You were her weakness. Wanda saw that. 

How her eyes immediately went to you, how your body was in pain, as you groaned out. You were no match for the scarlet witch, so what the hell were you doing? She didn’t think too much of that, her main focus was Wanda, still she kept her eyes on you. 

Only you. 

Her heart thumped loudly in her ears, there was a loud ringing noise, she couldn’t focus, her breathing turned ragged, out of her own stubbornness, She flew to you, in front of you, you saw an angel, she was far from one. 

She cupped your face, it sent a chill down your spine as you let out a shudder, wanting more of her, to be closer, as you slowly moved your body towards her, the best you can with whatever energy you had left inside you. 

“No” she whispered, forcing your body to not move, you only managed to look up and see her face despite your vision going blurry, you were so so tired. “I want to make this right, I need to, for you, it’s all I ever want, I need just you, I shouldn’t have left you by yourself, it was cruel, a mistake, but I knew we’d always find each other again. From the vow we made all those centuries ago, now, close your eyes, I’ll make it right, rest, you’ll see me soon” and then she kissed you. 

You felt yourself break out in a sob, this made you hate her, made you angry, as you watched her walk away, you couldn’t do anything. 

Then everything went black. 

-

Sometime in 2024. 

Now you can breathe again. 

Just a bit. 

You have always felt like you were suffocating, or drowning underwater, begging, grasping for air. Your lungs tightening, your throat closing, you couldn’t scream, make a sound, it was the worst torture you’ve experinced. Until you had to watch your lover get erased and completely forget about your entire existence. 

You would have preferred getting killed. 

But the scarlet witch didn’t show mercy like that. 

Even if you begged her. 

You wished it was you who had their memory erased, but you remember every single thing that happened. How you got to Westview, when everything turned to shit, it was already going bad from the start, you saw reality break in front of you and everyone else. 

You remembered waking up, Wanda was gone, so were her boys and Vision, and you had met Monica, who helped you off the ground in the first place, she was nice, you were grateful she didn’t suspect you to be working with the Scarlet Witch. 

Even then you found she was trying to help her, instead of imprisoning her, she wanted to help everyone. 

When you had asked her of Agatha, she was quiet. 

“She’s… Agnes now. I’m sorry.” 

You didn’t know why she even apologised to you, knowing Agatha could have quite literally killed her if she wanted to, maybe she felt pity for you, how she saw it in your eyes of you felt for the witch. 

Despite it all. 

Now you were living quite nicely, the apartment building of where you rented your place wasn’t too loud even during the day, at night, you like to go on walks, enjoying the lack of people around, your neighbour had protested to you going out by yourself but you preferred it that way. You worked in a cute book shop just a few streets from your place, everyday you wake up at the same time, sometime sleeping in longer if you wanted to, as you always went out and got your favourite coffee, enjoying the warmth of the morning sun. you’d come back home, slipping out of your work clothes and into something much more comfortable and outside there would be a beautiful sunset. 

As you sit at your desk, drinking a cup of coffee, writing down your day in your journal, keeping track of everything that’s happened, adding down stuff you needed to get from the market, what you wanted to cook, or bake. 

Then there was a sudden knock at your door. 

Weird. 

You weren’t expecting anyone coming over, unless it was your neighbour, who often was a bit nosy but she was relatively nice. 

Letting out a sigh as you’d hope they would have walked away if you didn’t answer the first knock, but then there was another, it sounded urgent, strange. As you stood up, placing your cup down as you walked towards the door, putting on a smile, you opened it. 

The air was knocked out of you in a heartbeat, before your eyes, you couldn’t believe who you were seeing, after all these years, how, why? You couldn’t wrap your head around it. 

“Agatha?” you whispered, not wanting to say the name outloud in fear of her disappearing. 

She bent down on her knees, her hand reaching out as you grabbed it, your hands shook, she stared into your gaze, helping you stand up. 

“How did you… is it really you?” you asked with a gasp, she smiled, walking into your apartment, stepping closer to you as she didn’t let go of your hand. “How did you find me?.” 

“My precious kitten, I'll always find you.” 

Your heart skipped a beat hearing her voice again, it was real, she was real, her touch, her voice, everything. 

You wanted to know how, but you didn’t care. She knew that, she saw it in your eyes, how much hunger there was inside them, your skin felt like it was on fire, you needed her. 

“Kiss me” you whimpered, she closed the door behind her using her foot, as she grinned. 

Agatha pulled you in closer, you smelt her scent, lavender, she always loved lavender. So did you. It became your favourite. You felt her hands grip your waits, as her lips kissed yours, you moaned, wrapping your arms around her neck. She groaned into the kiss, sending a chill down your spine. 

She pushed you against the wall, her lips leaving yours as she kissed down your neck, sucking hard on your skin,causing your body to shudder, leaving a visible mark. You wanted more. You whined, pushing yourself into her more, she chuckled. 

“Needy.” 

You huffed, “you like it.” 

“Touche.” 

Her lips found yours again as she hummed, she was enjoying this, teasing you, your Agatha hasn’t changed not one bit. You felt her knee pressed in between your thighs, with the little clothing you wore to bed, you were grateful, moaning as you ground yourself on her leg. She chuckled, her nails digging into you to keep you still as you fucked yourself on her. 

“So innocent, yet you fuck like a whore” she grinned, kissing along your jawline, her tongue licking your skin, as your head fell into her neck, you were getting close, she knew this, she wasn’t a stranger to how your body reacted around her, it was building up inside you, fast. You cried out as you came, embarrassingly quick, but she didn’t seem to care, as she lifted you up, you thought she would have used her magic, like she would have done, but you soon realised she didn’t have any. 

Agatha didn’t let that stop her from getting what she wants, yeah, she feels more useless and powerful, weak, around you she gained a little of that power back, you made her feel powerful, beautiful. 

She pushes you onto the bed, making you lay down on your back, her hands quickly pulling at your clothes as she rips it off, revealing your bare chest, as she admires you, you shy away. It's been a long time since she looked at you like that. 

“Gorgeous, you’re so beautiful” she murmured softly, your cheeks heated up as you bit down on your bottom lip. You let her pull down your panties, she moaned at the sight, how wet you already were, practically soaking, your wetness dripping down your inner thigh. 

She licked her lips hungrily, she felt like she was a starving dog, about to devour. She kissed up your thighs, using her hand to spread them more wide for her, she stared up at you, you watched her eyes darkened, you missed this, you missed her. 

Your hands found their way to her hair, still felt so soft, you always loved running your hands through her hair, she pretended not to like it, but you saw the way she’d lean into you more, asking you to do it again without saying it outloud, she loved it. 

Her tongue licked up your cunt, making you gasp as you gripped harder, she kept going, still fucking with you, even now, with her head in between your thighs. You enjoyed it. You didn’t want her to stop as you pressed your legs against her head, forcing her to stay there as she wrapped her mouth around your clit, earning a moan from you as more came out as she sucked on it, she didn’t let go until she made you come as many times as she wanted you to, she loved the way you tasted, how sweet it was on her tongue, as she consumed you. 

Your body went limp as you had to practically beg for agatha to stop, you’d reach your limit, and she broke through. She pulled herself away with a wicked grin, your wetness all over her chin, as she leaned into you, kissing you, you tasted yourself on her lips. 

You wanted more. 

You grabbed agatha by her hips as you moved the both of you so that you were now on top, she smiled, giving a small laugh. 

She reached up and cupped your face, her eyes set on you. “Is it your turn for a taste?” she whispered. 

You didn’t answer, with a flick of your wrist, she was naked, as you went down on her, kissing along her skin, biting her, wanting to make her cry out. 

You won’t stop until you’ve consumed every part of her.

[sokuroo]

𓆩♡𓆪 kuroo tetsurou x gender-neutral!reader — domestic fluff, established relationship!au; 0.59k.

[lover.] it’s with a sheepish smile and a hand tucked inside his pocket that kuroo tetsurou places the ring on the counter.

it’s a thin band of pale rose-gold. mock ivy, cut painfully carefully, curls around the frame—a startling likeness to the branch of ivy that creeps up the walls of his childhood home, out in the garden. the vines come to rest around a bright diamond. he had got it made three months ago, back when the idea of settling in and living life with you forever became more of a concrete structure and not a mere wooden foundation. 

it’s a beautiful ring—and that’s why kuroo can’t fault the jeweller for looking at him like he’s probably insane. 

“sir?” the store owner asks as placidly as possible. “may i know the reason for returning the ring?”

“it’s still within the warranty period, right?” kuroo shifts from one foot to the other, still sporting that same sheepish smile. 

“yes, yes, of course, but—” there’s a twitch to the jeweller’s eye that wasn’t there before— “was the ring not… satisfactory enough? did you face any problems? was it not cut to the correct size?”

“oh. um. no—not that i can tell,” he says mildly. “the ring’s pretty much perfect.”

he lifts his head up when he hears the sound of laughter ringing outside the glass windows of the jeweller’s shop. it’s a familiar tone, but if kuroo could hear it over and over again on loop, he would. what a sap, you’d say if he told you, and then you’d pull him down for a kiss, laughing against his lips. the thought makes him smile.

“—issues with the warranty. sir?” 

kuroo looks back at the owner, sheepish smile replaced by a more fond one. “sorry, i zoned out. could you please repeat what you said?”

“i was asking about keeping the ring for future purposes. it would cause no issues with the warranty.”

he tilts his head. “i’m sorry? what do you mean by future purposes?”

“did your partner not agree to marry you? isn’t that why you’re returning the ring, sir?” 

a flush creeps up kuroo’s neck. oh. so that’s what it must have looked like. he must appear like a heartbroken lover, if the pitying glance thrown towards him is any indication. the thought makes him chuckle.

sensing his lack of tact, the jeweller quickly backtracks. “ah… i’m sorry. that was rude of me. i just meant—”

“please, don’t worry about it,” kuroo waves him off. “i guess it does look like i’ve been rejected, huh?”

he drums his fingers on the countertop before leaning closer, giving the owner an impish wink. 

“wanna know the secret?” he whispers, and then pulls his free hand from his pocket. a silver band glints on his third finger, sitting snugly just above his knuckle. 

kuroo gestures to you from inside the shop. the jeweller follows his gaze. though your laugh cannot be heard through the transparent walls, the joy is clear on your face. you tip your head back ever-so slightly, nodding your head at what the local neighbourhood auntie says—she often sends over side dishes she’s prepared, and won’t take no for an answer; your fridge is always stocked thanks to her. you turn your head just then, and meet kuroo’s eyes—and if possible, your eyes light up just that little bit more, your smile widens by that tiny fraction, your posture straightens up by that small amount.

kuroo grins at you. he looks back at the jeweller. 

“the secret is,” he says, “someone proposed to me before i could.”

[thesulkycroissant]

So there's this saying that the only time you see the middle of the road is when you're going from ditch to ditch, and that most of the time is how I feel about the canon v fanon debate.

Genuinely, I feel like people get so stagnanted in this idea that something isn't canon - which, what is comic canon anyway? I strain to unravel the mystery of which comics get to "count" and which do not - and focus on it so much that they miss any aspect of nuance.

Tim's parents are a great example. Tim's parents exist in the way they do for a simple out-of-universe reason: the writers wanted to avoid the mistakes they made with Jason by both differentiating him from Dick (making him not an orphan) and giving him a "buy-in" with Dick (something to connect them -> the circus). (Their logic was that Dick was the key to getting readers to like Tim, and that neglecting his buy-in was their misstep with Jason.) At the same time, Tim having parents is a problem because what parent is not going to notice their kid being gone all the time playing midnight vigilante? Solution: absentee parents. But now the shift to in-universe happens. Tim's parents are gone all the time, but it's not malicious; they're just kind of clueless. They love Tim. Tim loves them. But they are not around. And this out-of-universe choice, once you enter into the universe, logically can - maybe even should, if you're taking the characters seriously - effect how a character reads.

Tim's parents are gone all the time. There's every probability that would cause trauma. Unintentional, but fun to explore! The comics do a very little. I think fandoms can often make the mistake of believing subtle abuse (like neglect) is not sufficient, so it gets elevated to something physical. But your parents loving you and also causing you trauma is a relatable experience, I think. Even your parents doing their best and still causing you trauma is.

Jason being the angry Robin is another rough one. Because yeah, I agree, Scott Lobdell did some wacky and unkind things to Jason's backstory. But Jason, even going back to his original (not original, but his original non-just-Dick-but-blond) backstory, is a traumatized orphan willing to take the risk and steal tires from the Batmobile as a means of survival (in Gotham! In Crime Alley!). Why can't Jason be angry? In the throes of adolescence, at a time when he feels safe with Bruce, doesn't it make sense for his trauma to find its way out in anger? Can't he both believe Robin is magic and be angry? Can't he be sweet and angry both?

Dickie and anger. Yeah, anger plays a role in certain story arcs of his. In NTT, and in the first 80s Nightwing run, the stories take pains to show that the anger is triggered by something and channeled into brutal focus. And that it does not serve him. Dick's relationship with Kory in NTT nearly falls apart because of his anger. He treats her very poorly. I see a lot of people saying they want Dick to be angry, but not allowing Dick to learn how to control his anger is not giving the character his dues either.

And Damian. Shoot. Reading the One Bad Day comic for Ra's al Ghul kinda ruined me a bit because of how much Ra's obviously loves and respects animals, and how can you not see the echo of that in Damian's love of animals? Damian's League trauma is such a thing worth exploring, and I think the value of exploring it only goes up when you add in the complicated factor of the fact that Talia and Ra's do love him, and he does see them when he looks in the mirror, and every day Damian has to decide which parts of his family - his whole family - are good to keep and which are not.

Anyway. There's probably more, but this post is already pretty long lol. Nuance is cool, that's all.

[wanderloveshater]

Two smart guys with 80’s tech can only do so much. It took them years to make the portal, one that breaks down everytime it activates.

For Commander Peepers? He can make a portal in a quarter of that time that’s stable.

It wouldn’t break down and would be able to control the excess energy that emits from it.

Peepers is the perfect pawn for Bill. Socially outcast with a crippling insecurity about his height, the desire to be praised and hold power over others, painfully lonely with a brilliant mind- he mirrors Ford in this way. I believe one of the WOY crew members emphasized him being different from the watchdogs.

It’s so easy for Bill; what do we have here? A smart guy who builds evil planet-destroying devices? Handling complex machinery?

He’s got a high IQ- misguided by his adoration for his stupid leader. The need for approval is crippling. So what can we do? Our little song and dance-

Bill’s experience speaks for itself. It would take very little effort, no questioning or anything- kind of boring, really.

Oh and Peepers has just been WAITING for someone to realize his true potential!

It’s all the same with Ford. He wants to feel special. The way Peepers would cling, claw, ride the high of the teensy bit of praise Hater gave him months ago…it makes Bill laugh. Such a sucker. A mathematically talented genius with more weaknesses than anyone can count.

So here we are, Peepers wants power. He wants respect. He wants to be seen. Bill promises Peepers a sense of social validation- to be adored- and eventually feared by his peers, and in extension, the galaxy. In return, Bill wants a portal- instead of spinning it as a “gateway for infinite knowledge of the universe” he can actually be a little more truthful. He’ll tell Peepers it can be used as an unstoppable weapon of destruction, better than what Major Threat had, better than what Lord Dominator had. The Peepers empire- I mean- The Hater empire would conquer the galaxy. Bill can come into this plane and they’ll rule everyone, side by side, Muse by Painter.

It’s a win win! Come on Peepers! Take the deal! When was the last time you played chess with someone that was actually smart enough to compete against you?

Infatuation: We saw how easy it was for Ford to be a Cipherholic. For many others to be. Peepers would unfortunately fall for his flattery. Under the assumption that Peepers is in love with Hater- (idolization if you wish) this prevents him from fully going evil, betraying everyone at once, I think.

But Peepers does get a little tired here and there putting up with Hater’s stupidity. Everyone’s stupidity, actually.

But Bill?

Bill has a lot of knowledge of the universe and intelligence.

Peepers would feel so intellectually stimulated by their conversations- likely about quantum theories, astrophysics, how stupid everyone is. There’s one thing Peepers has going on instead of Ford. Ford isn’t directly malicious or evil (besides the revenge fantasies), but Peepers is. He’d find Bill’s sadistic humor to be funnier than Ford ever did. Bill likes that.

Planting these seeds in Peeper’s brain- like the portal- Peepers would reach worship levels faster than Ford.

“I want to feel tall.”

“I’ll make you feel tall.”

Possession: This one is funny to think about, Bill’s unhinged behavior is exponential. He uses his charisma to gain social approval with the watchdogs and Hater’s favor in Peepers’ body. He probably wouldn’t have to complete all the calculations that Ford needed help with- really the possession is just so Peepers is more likable.

Bill’s feelings: Peepers was the easiest pawn to entrance. Bill finds this rather boring. There’s nothing to sink his teeth into- nothing to tear. Just a hollow puppet. He isn’t weird enough for Bill to enjoy, he seems rather logical and put together. Sure he’s shorter than everyone but was he born with any extra features that makes him an anomaly? But he’s certainly the most efficient puppet, so he’s gotta keep that going.

Peepers would also catch Fiddleford and Ford’s mistakes with the portal’s code.

Sort of like, “Oh haha, whoever did this code is so stupid, have they considered their calculations would blow up the entire room?!”

Bill being Bill, filled with bitterness, would agree in tandem at first. “Haha YEAH my last guy wasn’t up to par!”

Before uh, Peepers gets carried away and Bill’s own complicated feelings about Ford arise.

“Seriously, have you seen this derivative answer?! A traffic cone could have done better-”

“That’s enough”

Ford: I don’t have a set story/timeline for these two in mind, but I would like to imagine Ford’s reaction. Being unable to stop the vicious cycle repeat chokes him. Warning Peepers and all, oh don’t fall for it, he’ll betray you, promise you a galaxy, yadda yadda…

But Peepers only hears that last part.

“My own galaxy…?”

“Yes, he’ll make you ‘one of them’ and promise ultimate power with no law or restrictions- everything you could dream of- but DO NOT fall for it!”

Peepers falls for it. Or rather embarasses himself- Bill does not care for Peepers in this way. He’d never offer this unless it was for gain, so what does Peepers do? Throw himself to Bill and the Henchmaniacs- pleading to be a part of them. All that results from that is being laughed out of the room. Doesn’t help that he's the shortest.

Peepers doesn’t fit in with the watchdogs, or even the crazy weirdos/freaks.

He is truly alone.

[azelmaandeponine]

I saw you were taking asks about Stan getting kicked out and was curious about what you thought about his mom?

I don't really have a strong opinion on her.

I absolutely despise Filbrick of however you spell his name because even if he does care about his sons, as some claim, it wouldn't excuse all the abusive things he'd done to Stan or the pressure he put on Ford that we saw and didn't see.

It's implied Ford didn't visit home a lot after he graduated. Most people don't do that for no reason.

And Stan certainly never got reached out to, so as far as we know, Filbrick (and maybe by extension, his wife) didn't regret what he did.

That's not even including Stan and Ford's (younger? Older?) brother Shermie who we never see. I don't even wanna KNOW what kind of damage Filbrick probably did to his third son.

We don't know a whole lot about Caryn, other than the fact that she's a pathological liar, called Stan a "free spirit", and came to Stan's fake funeral.

That said, as the other adult in the house, she is culpable for Stan getting kicked out. More than any of the literal kids living there at the time.

Yes, she was a woman in the 70s, and she probably regretted not speaking up for Stan (I do think she cared about her kids), but she was still the only other adult in the house.

Like you said, Ford didn't visit home often--in large part due to the fact that he wouldn't really be wanted back by Filbrick without making millions and most of his issues seemed to be with his father. Still, it's not normal to hardly ever visit home.

As for Shermie...he's supposed to be the baby we see in "A Tale of Two Stans", but that makes no sense timeline wise. So, I headcanon that Shermie is a lot older than the twins, and was drafted into the Vietnam War. This would make the baby we see in the flashback Dipper and Mabel's father, which makes much more sense.

And yeah...I highly doubt Shermie got out unscathed from Filbrick's parenting unscathed parenting, either.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Musician Age Gap AU Pt 19

Lena gives Kara the right of way, and lets herself be led into the kitchen. When they enter the room, Kelly and Alex straighten at the sight of them, while Esme remains focused on pawing thru the fridge for the elusive cider.

Kelly's gaze remains gentle and perceptive-- Kara sees her focus dip to their joined hands before sliding to her wife. Alex, meanwhile, is scrutiny incarnate, her gaze hard as she scans Lena imperiously.

"Hi," Lena says quietly.

"Hi Lena," Kelly returns easily. "I'm glad you could come."

Lena relaxes a little. "Me too. Thank you for having me. You have a lovely home."

"Probably not what you're used to," Alex says, her tone carefully neutral. Kara spots Kelly's grip tightening in warning around Alex's hand.

"It's been a while since I've been home," Lena allows. "So this is a nice change of pace, for sure."

"Oh? Where do you live?"

"I split my time between Metropolis and Star City when I'm not on tour," Lena replies easily enough. "But of the two I consider Metropolis more my home. I grew up there."

"I didn't know that," Kara says.

"Mhmmm," Lena hums. "We in the city most of the year because of my brother's band. When they weren't performing, they were auditioning, so it was just easier to live there full time."

"You have a brother?" Esme says, perking up.

Kara feels Lena tense a little, suddenly realizing she might have shared too much. But it's too late to back pedal.

"We're not in touch anymore."

Sensing Lena's discomfort, Esme thankfully doesn't pry any further. Kelly keeps the silence from stretching too far.

"Well, we happy to have you. We figured you could share the guest room with Kara--"

"Or you can take the couch," Alex inserts. She studies Lena for a reaction, but Kara comes to her rescue.

"With me is fine," she says. "Unless you all fall asleep to the witchy thing--"

"Hexed! Mom, Lena watches Hexed!"

Finally, Alex relents, her posture sagging a little as she lets her guard down. "Then she's got good taste."

"She's got a crush on Samantha Arias," Kelly whispers theatrically.

Kara barks a laugh as Alex splutters indignantly. "I do not!"

"Do too!" Esme joins in the teasing.

"Don't worry, baby," Kelly assures her wife playfully. "She's on my hall pass too."

That makes Alex stop. "She is?"

Kara opens her mouth to mention having met Sam, but Lena nudges her sharply. She looks over and clicks her mouth shut when Lena gives her a look that says 'not now'.

"Well," Kelly says, even as Alex still gawks at her, "looks like we need to stock up on cider and spooky snacks, so why don't we head to the store while you two settle in?"

It's not the most subtle segue, but Kara is grateful for a chance to talk with Lena privately. Once Esme is shuttled off into the car, Alex gives them one last hard look before closing and locking the front door behind her.

Lena sighs. "Well, that went better than I expected."

"It helps that Esme's your biggest fan," Kara offers with a wry grin. Then she sighs. "Let's sit."

Lena nods, and they sit on opposite ends of the couch, orienting themselves to face each other. Lena looks nervous, and though Kara's first instinct is to ease that, she holds back. What was it that Kelly had said? Growing pains.

"Those pictures sucked to see, Lena," Kara says carefully. "I understand they were outside your control, but... it still hurt."

"I know. I just-- don't know how I can fix it. Like I said... it comes with the job. I signed up for it... but you didn't. I get that."

Lena sounds miserable, and looks it too. But Kara doesnt have any more ideas than Lena does.

"Maybe being with you means signing up for it," Kara allows, thinking out loud. "But what happens when I start being part of the scandal. What happens to Esme?"

Swallowing thickly, Lena lifts a helpless shoulder. "I don't know."

"Me neither. But it's something I have to consider." Kara slumps further into the cushion. "Also, I-- I don't know where I stand with you."

Concern flashed across Lena's features. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, but... I'm in your court, Lena. I'm... an intruder. And I care enough about you that when I see something concerning, I want to ask about you, but.... I don't know if I'm allowed to."

"You can ask me anything," Lena says.

"Okay." Kara meets her gaze and holds her. "Why didn't you want to meet with Morgan Edge alone?"

Lena's cheeks lose all color in an instant. Her entire body seems too lock, her hands clasped in a white knuckled grip.

"I don't expect an answer," Kara says quietly. "But that's what I mean. I don't feel like I have the right to ask about this. And I suspect plenty of other subjects will make me feel the same way."

Lena stares at her, eyes wide. Kara reaches out to clasp her wrist, but Lena pulls away. Hurt lances through Kara's chest, but the tight sound of Lena's breathing concerns her more.

"Lena--?"

"What else," Lena croaks.

Kara hesitates. "Lena..."

"What. Else."

Taking a deep breath, Kara carefully forges ahead. "We started this content to simply see where it goes. Do you still feel that way?"

Lena doesn't respond.

"Because it doesn't feel casual anymore. Joining you on tour was certainly impulsive, but it wasn't casual. I thrust myself into your life, and you invited me to, but... I can't really bring you into mine, can I?"

"I'm here now," Lena says, voice tight.

Kara nods. "And I'm grateful for that. But... you wouldn't be able to go to the store with Esme to get cider. Or even take a walk around the block."

Lena releases a short breath. "No. Not without putting her in danger."

"I know you would welcome Esme into your world as warmly as you welcomed me. But for her it would be temporary. For me, if I choose this, it would be permanent, and complete."

She watches Lena inhale again as though to speak, but she doesn't.

"I don't think we'll find a solution before the others get back," Kara continues. "But I wanted you to know where I'm at. What I have to think about."

Lena nods. "I understand. Thank you."

Finally, she meets Kara's gaze. A small smile, but it and the glint in her eyes are sad. She swallows several times before she's able to speak again.

"Can I... do you mind if I take a minute before the others get back?"

Kara nods readily. "Of course."

Lena rises stiffly, then retreats to the powder room, closing the door quietly behind her.

Tears burn at Kara's own eyes, but relief overwhelms them. Relief that the unspoken burden of worry and uncertainty that has been weighing on her, has now lifted in the speaking of it. Perhaps it's selfish of her to now make her concerns now Lena's burden as well, but... would it have been fair to either of them to keep it to herself?

By the time Alex's car pulls back into the driveway a few minutes later, Kara's hands stop trembling, and Lena re-emerges with clear eyes. Their eyes catch as the front door opens, and Lena offers a reassuring nod: whatever happens next, it won't affect tonight.

True to Lena's unspoken promise, the evening proceeds without a hitch. She gamely weathers Esme's velcro presence, listening with interest as she rambles about school gossip and the boy she likes in her history class. And after dinner, they watch Sam bewitch and enchant on screen while munching on sweet snacks and sipping cider out of mugs shaped like skulls and cats and candy corn.

That night, however, the air grows taut between them the moment the guest room door shuts.

"I can take the couch," Lena murmurs.

Kara pauses. "Do you want to?"

Lena shrugs. "No. But I don't want to make you uncomfortable--"

"Hey," Kara interrupts softly. She closes the space between them. "What we talked about today came from a place of love. It hasn't made me uncomfortable." She hesitates. "Has it made you uncomfortable?"

"I mean... a little. I don't like uncertainty, much. And with us in a gray area, I don't know what's... appropriate."

Kara smiles. "Sharing a bed can be as appropriate as we want it to be."

"Kara..."

"I plan to sleep on the right side, fully pajama'd. I don't figure we need to make things any less certain than that."

Lena chuckles in spite of herself, but isn't quite convinced. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Kara assures her.

Finally, she gets a small sigh of resignation. "Okay."

Kara's efforts are enough to banish the tension for a few minutes, but it comes back in full force once they crawl under the blankets. They face away from each other, but Kara can feel the stiffness in Lena's frame, a tension that takes root in her own limbs.

It lasts for several long silent minutes before Kara speaks up.

"You know I wouldn't have said anything, if I didn't care. Right?"

Lena sniffles. "I know."

---

The next morning, Lena lingers long enough to have breakfast with Esme and see her off to school. Once she clears her dishes, Lena collects her overnight bag and offers Kelly and Alex a soft smile.

"Thank you for having me," she says.

"Our pleasure," Kelly returns. "Thank you for coming. I know it was a long trip, and it meant the world to Esme."

"She's wonderful, truly. You've raised an amazing person."

Kara escorts Lena to the driveway. Once Lena stows her bag in the back seat, she turns back to Kara with soft, sad eyes.

"You're not coming back, are you."

Somehow, Lena saying it first makes it easier for Kara to concede. She shakes her head. "No. I don't think so."

"And us?"

Kara takes Lena's hand in hers, and Lena twines their fingers together.

"I care about you too much," Kara says, "to do this halfway."

Lena anxiously rocks on the balls of her feet, lips pulling against burgeoning tears. "Yeah." She manages to meet Kara's gaze. "So, back to normal life?"

"Ehhhhh...." Kara hedges. "The fact I dropped my job the first chance I got is a clue I might not like it very much. Maybe I'll look for something I'm more passionate about."

That brings beaming smile to Lena's face. "That sounds like a great idea. You deserve to find... whatever you're looking for."

Kara lifts her hand, cupping Lena's cheek. "And you, Lena Luthor, are stronger than you think. You deserve to work with people you trust."

She hopes Lena understands her meaning, and from the stunned half-open set of her mouth, Kara suspects she does.

Kara leans in one last time, kissing the corner of Lena's mouth. "Thank you, Lena. For everything."

Lena nods against her. "You too, Kara."

And then Kara watches Lena climb behind the wheel and carefully drive away. As she stares at the winking tail lights, even though her chest aches and her eyes burn, she can't help but feel as though a brand new life is just waiting to unfold.

[starreyblueberry]

Timmy immediately feels horrible when he wakes up. Its the day after his 18th birthday, he wakes up right at 12:01 am, usually, he would just wish to fall back asleep, especially if it's this late, but right now Timmy doesn't care about the time. Instead, he cares about the fact his head feels like it's being split apart like there's a surgeon just removing parts of his brain piece by piece, all while he's awake. Dramatic descriptor but accurate he thinks to himself. He feels an extremely aching pain washing over all of his senses, making it hard for him to focus or ground himself back to reality. He puts his head in his hands as he tries to calm down, He can't identify what exactly is wrong- Hell it feels like he just woke up from a 8 year long Coma. His brain feels like it's foggy- he can't even remember what he did yesterday, or the day before- or. Or the past week, the past month, the past year, he can't remember anything... Did he just wake up from a coma? Is he IN a coma dream right now? This realization does not help him at all- it in fact makes his headache even worse. He tries his best to ignore the pain though, cause he just knows that the moment he stops trying, if he doesn't chase after these memories now, there will be no chance of getting them back. Something in the back of his mind tells him, that this is the truth. He needs to keep trying or else he will never feel whole again, he will never be Timmy Turner again. He pulls at the sheets of his bed, practically ripping the old blankets apart. Why did he never get new ones? He feels like he hasn't slept on this bed for years now.

He can feel a slip- a crack, his memories just one reach away, he tries to grab them- to feel the nostialgia buried deep within his mind. he can sense it- he can sense it all. He can hear the hushed, soft voices of disfigured creatures, colors flying all around his vision as he tries his best to rope them back to him. He can smell the pure sugary scent of cotton candy and bubblegum that radiates from these fairies things. He can feel the adorating- the pure care that comes from these beings. He can feel the love- The love that he can't remember. What? What love. Timmy slightly shakes his head, he can barely even remember his initial thoughts- but he has to continue his line of thinking, he knows it. He thinks back to every person in his life, trying to find where the missing puzzle pieces are, where he felt truly safe. While some people cared for him, none of them loved him. I mean- his parents haven't even said the words I love you since he was 10. Vicky hated his guts, and all his teachers were disappointed in him, I mean, sure he had his friends, but they cared about him, love is a different feeling. Its not just the care, it's the attention, the promise that you'll stay with them, no matter what happens. The unconditional love that he never got from anyone, is magical. But he's never seen it, he never had the chance to, he had no other family anyway- He blinks. He rapidly shakes his head as he feels his own thoughts fighting against each other. He...

... He Doesn't have any other family. He doesn't, his grandparents both died when he was a teenager, and his parents never had any siblings so that means no cousins, and barely any family friends. If he HAD any family they were distant, they were unreachable, they were forgotten. That makes the most sense, if there's any great aunt or something he probably forgot. He forgot and their nothing he can do about it, he can't do shit he cant- "Oh god-" he groans, he can feel it getting harder and harder to breathe, he can feel everything just fading. The senses in his fingers were slowly being lost, his whole body feeling like it was being emptied at the seams, He couldn't give up though, he had to keep going, if there was any chance at finding out what happened these past 7 years it's now or never. He tries to go back into the same memories, but- he doesn't get what he wants. Instead, he smells dark oak and flowery perfume, those are his parents' scents. That's what his parents use as perfumes, that's what he already remembers. These aren't the memories he needs Timmy's vision gets blurry, he can feel his ears ringing more and more and more, there were people- there were people who loved him. Who wanted him just as much as he wanted them, they took him everywhere, to meet their families, to see places they loved. they were his ACTUAL family. The ones who took care of him when no one else would. They promised to stay, they promised that they'll never forget him so he can't forget them. He loves them and he knows it, he loves them so much that his brain feels like its going to explode. He- He needs them or else who is he. Who is he without them, is he anyone worth remembering in the first place? is he anyone without them in his life, who is he without his godpare He saw a flash. A flash of what? he could never explain, the best he can do is say a brand new color, or a beam of light that he shouldn't have been able to see, maybe something dabbling in a new dimension? Who knows, It went away as quickly as it came, barely leaving Timmy to even question what he just saw, and it seemed to take something. It seemed to take more of who he is, and he knew it. It stole the crack, it stole what he could have done. He can't even form a single word about the event, all he can hear is a slight buzzing noise from within. He realizes that he cant remember. Timmy feels himself crying, for what? He doesn't understand why he's crying, hell why is he even awake, he looks at the time, but his vision is too blurred from the tears to even read the numbers. He feels more and more tears pour out, even though he doesn't even know why he's crying, he can't even remember when it started. He lays back down and shuts his eyes, he's sure he's overreacting, if he can't remember what he was doing how important was it anyway?

[pressplay-if]

This new chapter is so real. It made me remember many things i’ve forgotten from my hospital/treatment days. Not in a bad way but hitting quite close to home. One thing I remembered was how our doctors and counselors viewed friendships/relationships between patients. Communicating outside was pretty frowned upon and being in a relationship with another patient would get out kicked out at the very least. Anyway, the part that really hit was the phone call. The effect that continuing these relationships can have when both parties are in different places in their journey. It’s tough because you bond over something heavy something you might hide from others in your life. Something that is a big part of you, something that you struggle with. In a way it’s like you can be your true self. Without having to put up the facade to keep those around from being uncomfortable. It gives the friendship a sort of depth. But we all progress and heal at different rates. It’s not a one size fits all situation when in comes to treatment. I have been in both positions. Being the person stuck while others come and go. Then later having to move on needing to do what is best for me. It’s difficult for both. But hearing about relapses or certain thoughts from a friend. When you have finally found some stability or are close to falling back into old habits. It can be so triggering. Which makes you have to decide. Do I stick with this person who I connected with at my lowest point? When I am so easily reminded of things i’ve barely just moved on from. Or do I let go and focus on the future? It sucks either way. But it does explain why the doctors say what they say about patient relationships. Though I know it’s not like that for every situation. Anyway, sorry for so many words! I probably have more to say but imma chill out. Just wanna say WOW! Loving the story, it’s relatable(maybe I shouldn’t be too proud of that idk) and thought-provoking. Really got me thinking about things which I don’t normally do. And it ain’t actually that bad. Hope my words made sense. Great work👍🌈😃

So this was the first ask about the second chapter that I got and can I just say thank you?? 🙏

I was so nervous and reading this so soon after it came out was so immensely relieving to me. Back where I was, patient relationships didn't get you kicked out, but we did have a couple and everyone kinda knew they were together but refrained from addressing it bc we all just agreed it'd make things way too messy if we did. Even though, literally, everyone knew. Very much an Anthony/Abigail situation haha.

And yes, your words made a lot of sense to me and they're really appreciated. I, too, have been in both positions--- I think it might be a natural part of a lot of people in that "recovering from mental illness" cycle, even if it's a really unpleasant one. You create this bond over sth so horrible, and you understand each other, for as long as you're both suffering. Then when you start to move away from that, life gets easier but the friendship gets complicated. That's my experience, at any rate. I'm really glad to have hit close to home with this bc that's really what I was intending.

[clearheartsgreyflowerss]

While I'm speaking about angst. Sunday. Oh my God Sunday. I could probably go on the longest fucking rant about how I think Sunday could never really handle being in a relationship. He's been taught to prioritize others wellbeing over his own, and he never stops to think about himself. Don't even think about mentioning it to him, he'll not only shut out the thought, but he'll start to bottle everything up more. It's not even like he would explode either, I think he would just stop. If he was ever given a second to slow down, he wouldn't ever be able to move again. Except for when it comes to you. He wants to do absolutely everything for you. You shouldn't have to do a thing, a being as perfect as you shouldn't lift a finger to get what you want. He would rip his heart out and present it to you on a silver platter if you asked. Yet he knows this is selfish. He wasn't made to serve you, he was made to serve the greater good. Yet why does he feel so comfortable around you? Why can only you make him feel complete? Why does he finally feel free around you?

Yet he wouldn't ever tell anyone this. You probably would never even notice that he felt any different about you than he did anyone else. Because you don't deserve this. He doesn't want to force you in a cage that he forced himself into. Which is why he'll suffer in silence, anything for you.

I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense but like. I need to get this out. I need to scream into the void about this man.

[manikas-whims]

Xavier — Floral Blessing 🔖 | thoughts

THIS HAS BECOME ONE OF MY FAVORITE XAVIER 5 STAR CARDS, ALONG WITH PRECIOUS BONFIRE AND 21 DAYS.

I love fluff and romance. And this card was all about that growing intimacy and expression of feelings.

AND I LOVE THE CALLBACKS IN THIS CARD. THERE'S JUST SO MANY 🥺 THAT CONNECT TO XAVIER'S LORE, AND ADD TO IT.

i made a separate post about them, you can see HERE if you want

⚠️ SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️

This whole moment where Xavier places his hand over MC's in order to teach her calligraphy is so sweet and intimate.

Every other flower goddess was third wheeling so bad 😭

XAVIER ALWAYS HOLDS A POSITION OF AUTHORITY, NO MATTER THE ERA.

And the way he got adopted by this rich, mansion owner merely due to his calligraphy skills??? He really is good at anything he tries 😌✨

The way MC doesn't want anyone to misunderstand her (as Flower Goddess) relationship with the Young Master.

Meanwhile Xavier does not give a fuck 😂 boldly claiming she holds a special place in his heart 🥹

Xavier saying “guess everyone knows now” whilst cheekily leaning against the wall is so teen boyish of him 🤭

Xavier and MC attending classes together is such a sweet callback to Xavier's 3rd Anecdote where Him and MC on Philos attend classes together 🥹

He may not be as good as Rafayel but I would love to have Xavier's doodles of me 🫶

I love these moments of casual intimacy ♡ sprinkled throughout this card.

the act of MC anxiously grabbing Xavier's arm, and Xavier taking her hand in his own reflect on how far they've come in terms of their relationship in our present timeline.. it's almost as if they're together (in a relationship).

XAVIER WILL NOT MISS ANY OPPORTUNITY 🤭

He sees an opening (the sour tasting flower cake) and attacks, immediately sneaking a kiss 🤭

And he's so chill about it too. I love him sm y'all ♡

THEIR CONVERSATION ABOUT HOMESICKNESS

I love that though not directly but he admits that his home is far in the distance..

BUT!

For Xavier home is also about a sense of belonging and here he clearly states that MC being by his side is enough i.e. MC IS HIS HOME 😭❤️

Xavier laying his head in MC's lap and MC gently massaging his forehead.. THEY'RE SO MARRIED!

The casual domesticity and intimacy in this card means everything to me 😩🤌

Another moment I really loved was MC's hair getting tangled in the hairpin and Xavier helping untangle it..

See it's really these simple gestures that are treated as ordinary but are actually the foundation of a beautiful relationship. And I love that this card was just a treasure trove of these tiny moments 🥺

MC being at peace whilst dancing because she knows that amongst the crowd, there's someone whose eyes are only on her (and no other flower goddess)

THAT'S A LOYAL MAN. A MAN COMPLETELY SMITTEN BY HIS GIRL 😌

Finally they go to make wishes together!

Xavier lifting us up in his arms is like a cherry on top after all those casually intimate moments throughout this card..😩🤌

And we know what happens here 🤭

Idk..if I were in MC's place, then his hand on the back of my thigh would've sent shivers.. I'd be ticklish and flustered, trying to hold my breath

the way his face is bent so close, probably his warm breath tickling her skin 😩

He definitely thought about lowering his lips and planting a kiss right on that spot..

But resisted the urge and pulled away at the last moment 🤭

Now when it's time to reward the Gem (protocore), I love how Xavier gently unties MC's mask and his eyes just never waver from her's 🥺

From Xavier's 3rd Anecdote

When the Shooting Stars fall

“According to the First Law of Cosmic Attraction, when a person unwittingly looks at someone, there's a 98.8% chance it's because he's looking at you too.”

And we can see how significant it is for Xavier that we hold him with as much regard in our eyes, as does he to us 🥺

And of course..

It's been hammered into our minds over and over, with every card..that the most important thing for Xavier is his time spent together with MC. And the way MC lights up his world..he wants to return that..he wants to be equally (if not more) significant in MC's life..

Thus, the card ends with these beautiful words from Xavier, about him wanting to be our sanctuary, our safe haven until the end of time 🥺

[malk1ns]

hi, i’m pretty new to hrpf. i’ve seen a lot of rule 63 fics within the fandom - at least, a lot more in comparison to some of the other fandoms that i’ve been in. i was curious why people in the hrpf fandom like rule 63? i’m not as familiar with it 😅 thanks!

this is an interesting question! i haven't really looked to see if proportionally there are more rule63 fics here than in other fandoms, and i am by no means an expert—although i don't think anyone can claim to be an expert on why other people write what they write—but i thought about this all morning and i have a few theories!

for me at least (although i haven't written rule63 yet myself), writing fic is a lot about putting these guys in Scenarios. we have a pretty good idea of what they're (publicly) like, and i think RPF as a whole tends to focus more on 'how do the people in the story react' as opposed to 'how can the world of the story be built out'—because these are real people we're writing about (kind of...), to me at least it's more interesting to say, ok i 'know' sid and geno (or at least the way i like to write sid and geno when i'm not doing a specific characterization), what would my sid and my geno do if they were in scenario x, or if situation y happened to them. it's almost reactive, you know? less about let's build a story and plop these more static characters from fiction into them, more about how can i continue to evolve these real dudes who we've seen evolve over the years based on the situation i invented for them. i might be alone in that but the more i thought about this while i was vacuuming today the more it made sense to me, even though i don't think this is consciously how i was writing—i do think this is how i approach THIS fandom vs others i've been in.

so, rule63 is sort of....we know sid, we know geno. what if one of them was a girl? and it's such an INTERESTING scenario to put them in, because we know them basically exclusively in the context of the NHL, and the NHL is all men. so what is that like for a woman to be introduced into the ecosystem, especially at the stature sid and geno are? how does that change their reputation, their day-to-day, the way they interact with their friends and teammates and the media and the fans? we have SO much source material of how they are to build off, so tweaking gender is just another way we can put those guys in situations and extrapolate on what would happen.

does this make any sense at all? idk when i think about the girl sid fic idea i have a LOT of it is going to be about how is sid perceived and how does she move in this world that's all men except her, and how does that affect her. and i think when i put that together with what i was ruminating on this morning, it all sort of dovetails and makes sense. you know?

i'd be curious to see what other authors think about this though, both about how RPF is a little different from other fandoms and also rule63 within the hockey RPF space! hope y'all don't mind if i tag you and please don't feel obligated but if you do have thoughts i'd love to hear them...@beggingwolf @plethoriall @yabagofmilfs @cuprun @ellen-shame @al-the-remix @ticklefighthockey @puckluckie @cascara-soda this is by no means an exhaustive list please chime in if you see this and feel so inclined!

also let's not forget that sometimes you want to write idfic and sex and have you seen sid and geno's mouths i just know that they'd know how to use them on each other in the fictional world i build up. sometimes, as freud probably never actually said, a cigar is just a cigar. so to speak.

[thefirstlioveyou]

"i didn't want to tell you because the last time i was sick, you made me go to school anyway."

this is a subtle indicator that mike's emotional and physical needs can go ignored. although yes he's lying about being sick in this scene, the fact he saw that as an excuse his mom would buy shows you this may be insight on how he actually feels. he doesn't say things because he knows what will be said, and it's never helpful. it explains why he bottles up his emotions and hides them throughout the rest of the show. and the times he does open up, he's reminded of why he didn't want to in the first place. (and actually, the only person he can tell things without being rejected has been will)

let's explore more instances like this.

-

"i've been bullied my entire life, i understand."

"no you don't."

i get it. i don't hold this against el by any means. but it DOES still carry the theme of mike's issues being ignored. although it's not the POINT of the scene, it's still there. you can put down your pitchforks now.

this boy has been threatened to jump off a cliff and ultimately kill himself, physically bullied, verbally bullied, socially rejected. that had to have stung to hear her say that.

mike hasn't had a proper scene of how he feels about the bullying he's experienced all his life. the moment he does bring it up, it's denied.

-

"these [toys] have emotional value to me."

"don't care. throw it away. also why are you suddenly so rebellious recently? why are your grades lacking? actually, i don't care why. i won't actually bother to ask. just stop doing that."

-

"i know your dnd club is tonight -"

"hellfire."

"why don't you just call it the club for high school dropouts?"

karen not remembering the name to the club is an indication that mike probably doesn't bring the club up or his interests with his parents much. makes sense. they've made it explicitly clear they don't care about the emotional value his interests have to him. and ted's comment directly after yet again reminds him why he never brings it up in the first place.

-

"i want you feel like you can talk to me. i'm here for you."

"no more secrets. from now on we tell each other everything."

such sweet support right? now.. where are they? karen has made no effort to understand mike the way she has for nancy. and although what nancy said is technically something that goes two ways, she's the one that initiated that promise.

i still understand why she and karen are this way to him, and i don't hold it against them! mike is just as emotionally distant to nancy. the wheelers are a very complex family and i can't wait for them to be dissected like bugs in s5.

-

and as i'm typing this, i realize all this makes the subtext in the junkyard make even more sense.

"sometimes it's hard to say what you really feel, especially to the people you care about the most, because what if they don't like the truth?"

anytime mike tells someone what he really feels or thinks, it's been denied, rejected or undermined. it scares him even more that this truth has to do with his sexuality. it puts him at more risk. he's seen how people treat gay people, how brutal they can be. he's internalized all of it despite it not being targeted towards him. it pushes him further into the closet and denial.

if his parents can't even see him more than a rebellious kid with failing grades that is in a "club for high school dropouts," what makes him believe they would accept him for being gay?

if his sister and mom truly are there for him, they truly care, then why didn't they mean what they said? where are they?

obviously, they do. but in mike's perspective, what else is he meant to think from this? what conclusion should he draw? my mom and sister just told me they'll be here for me and we'll be closer, just for them to act otherwise, just for us to be even farther apart. what the hell?

[blahahala]

Give me your best theories!

Personally, I just don’t know!!! He speaks Quenya, quotes Rumil, has a fancy sword, knew or at least saw Melian, has a history with Sauron and Morgoth, possibly knows Elrond…. and then Cirdan actually mentions Daeron earlier in the season... was that just for a fun reference or does it mean something bigger? I am not an expert so let me know anything I've missed/misinterpreted! Maglor: Missing, speaks Quenya, has a hand injury, likely has a fancy sword, knew Elrond, could he have red in his hair like Adar? But idk if he makes any sense time-wise.

Celeborn: Missing, could have a fancy sword, knew Melian, maybe he knows some Quenya? Perhaps he met Elrond at the same time Galadriel did? There are a few different backgrounds associated with him so idk what they're going with. Wrong hair color.

Maeglin: Quenya, fancy dark sword (could it be Anguirel?), was a captive in Angband, but he should be dead.

Maedhros: History with Morgoth, fancy sword, Quenya, knew Elrond, red hair (though Adar's is only red in certain light), hand injury, hung from a peak, but he should be dead and should be missing his right hand. But there are a lot of similarities - is Adar slightly based on him, maybe?

Daeron: Disappeared, knew Melian, was mentioned earlier in the show by Cirdan, could he have known some Quenya?

Some random elf: Probably most likely, though what is his background, I wonder? Seems to have some Noldorin traits, but also shares with Arondir the tradition of planting seeds before battle and mentions the river where Arondir grew up.

It's tricky to even try to fit these characters into this, as I don't really know the exact timeline/history that applies in this show (Adar himself mentions he was taken to serve Morgoth in the "eldest of the Elder Days"), but it's still fun to speculate!!

[tiny-pun]

On writing pain

Okay so for once this isn’t an actual prompt but more so a tip:

If your character is supposedly in pain that lasts more than a couple of days or even weeks and months, eg. Because of a bigger wound or of a (new) disability… you most likely should show this in more ways than just the occasional “gasp and clutching the wound”!

Having such constant pain will have at least some kind of emotion impact: the stress of constantly being in pain, the constant push and pull between just succumbing to the pain and laying down until it goes away or just ignoring it and powering through. The balancing act of not overdoing it and being hyperventilat to the point you just hunch down to avoid worsening it.

Additionally you have to think about how to treat all of the different pains. How connected are they really? How much sense does it actually make to take pain meds ? Are there enough? Do I trust my doctor/s, to actually listen to me and take my pain seriously? Am I over exaggerating my pain? Am I underselling it? Am I annoying my doctor? Should I just wait and hope it goes away? It’s probably nothing anyway. But what if it’s so much worse ? What if this pain is just covering up something truly awful? But what if I’m making such a fuss now and tomorrow I can jump around like always? How unnecessary it would be to get so many people involved. Right ? This is especially hindered by poor use of words aka incapability to communicate. ( My head is just … kinda fuzzy?/Everything hurts?)

Another factor is how much they want to openly tell others about it. And whom they could possibly even tell and all the whys and hows surrounding it. And how hard it would be aka how long they’ve know each other and how much time they spent together. The hiding and lying adds more emotional stress and also possibly leads to neglect of any medical help. The “overt” complaining about the pain/situation can be exhausting and thus a different kind of stress. Especially if they’re feeling childish/unheard or otherwise ashamed about voicing anything but positive emotions but the pain is just too much and too consistent.

This can also lead to a constant comparison of how far into their recovery they “statistically already should be” or just the plain old “I could do xyz SO EASILY before”. Or worse: they’re comparing themselves to another (equally) wounded/disabled character. Wether it’s an internal belief or externally expected: if the character believes, that their wound/pain is comparably minor or should be easily overcome by themselves; and especially if they have a certain goal in mind, by which they should be back to their regular power and it’s not look in good … well then you certainly have a nice cocktail of stress and anxiety.

And if during the time of their supposed recovery, they end up getting some minor but more common sickness, eg. A cold or a stomach bug, it might not be their first thought. In fact they might do any and every test possible BUT think of the common cold. Not bc they’re necessarily stupid but bc of the fear, things might go to hell after all. Especially if the symptoms of both illnesses are similar enough. Anything else will just not be in their radar.

Also how would they like to be taken care of ? How much of that is a facade to please others ? Do they actually want to be hugged right now or are they just trying to please someone yet feeling suffocated? Do they just want their dead siblings soup and is a companionable silence enough to know they’re gonna be fine? How honest are they towards not only themselves but to others? And how much can the people and the situation itself even give that to them right now? (Do they need silence but they’re currently lying low in the city’s biggest hotel next to the market place?)

For all of this it doesn’t matter how big or small the pain actually is. What matters is that it is seemingly constant and only very slowly going away. The combination of constant physical pain with so much emotional turmoil and back and forth between opposing ideals aka stress can translate to even more physical pain aka psychosomatic pain. Headaches, breathlessness and even bigger issues such as literal heartaches can be the result.

This all can lead to spiralling and in the worst case a (temporary) depression. I dont think I have to explain how that could look like.

And one last thing: If the character is used to being in life or death situations, no matter if it’s due to multiple fights or an already existing disability: the common cold might be worse to deal with. They could be so used to dealing with the possibility of death that anything less than that is ironically unbearable. During a basically fatal stabbing they might just say a cheeky joke but freak out during the common cold.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. If you have the same pain for more than 6 week pls get it checked out if you can! And get well soon. These are just possible ways to write, what kind of thoughts and issues any type of constant pain (fatal or not) could cause.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

What if Nightmare trys to convince Killer they are equally toxic as a way to manipulate him?

After Killer did something, Nightmare would say something like "this is why no one else would ever except you" or something more specific depending on what would happen

He'd use this to isolate Killer even further than just trafficking him

And this could lead to Killer developing Stockholm Syndrome because Nightmare is making it seem like they're equally toxic, implying they're equals and making Killer think that if he really REALLY deep down wanted to, he could leave, when he actually can't

Sometimes i think my moots are more evil than me.

It wouldn’t be hard to make him believe this at all. He’s so easy to guilt trip when he’s in Stage 1–easy to emotionally manipulate. Break him down and convince him of this, which wouldn’t be hard to do at all, then he’d passively accept it. In Stage 2 he might act in ways that only reaffirm to keep him in cycle of guilt and self sabotage due to outside manipulation.

Killer doesn’t have a stable, coherent sense of self. It’s hard to think objectively about himself when the type of abuse he goes through breaks down critical thinking and the ability to think independently and objectively. The lack of ability to access much emotion in Stage 2 greatly impacts Killer.

He will probably accept that he is equally as toxic as Nightmare passively, in a resigned way. “Yeah, makes sense” way. He’d probably internalize the idea, people’s opinions of him as fact in Stage 1 and may externalize and act and behave the way that aligns with what others say is true in Stage 2. Creating a self fulfilling prophecy.

(Such as that one ask where someone said, “after all the monsters you killed, you can’t bring them back, you can’t be good.” Something like that. And Killer’s (st2’s) response was “It’s not my fault they are weak.” It aligns into his worldview that there’s no point in trying to be better or to change.)

It’s not like he can really trust his judgment on these things. His self perception is eroded and sense of reality is fragmented, as is his sense of self—and so, of course, he has been conditioned to rely on others (such as abusers) for a sense of self worth or reality. It doesn’t help that he has to mold himself to meet expectations for perceived survival or avoidance of suffering/inconvenience/or in Color’s case, abandonment—“I’m whatever you want me to be.”

And yeah, this does mean he accepts things like degradation as fact when it comes from those ‘above’ him —even if it’s intended to be playful.

Even if he knew it was playful, he’d doubt it because he can’t tell if it’s real or not, that it was actually supposed to be a joke. He’d need reassurance, he’d never ask for it—mostly because he’s unlikely to feel any hurt by it, it just is what it is.

He wouldn’t be able to access any hurt or guilt or shame about this idea like he could if he were in Stage 1–if he did feel any (especially if the insult came from someone like color), he’d probably try to repress or dissociate from it.

Stage 1’s fear, guilt, and shame would keep them trapped—may even cause him to try and push away people like Color or the cats out of fear of doing to them what Nightmare does to him. What he “does” to Nightmare when in Stage 2. Of being abusive towards the two most important people in his life.

{ @largefound }

[honeygrahambitch]

Summary: Hannibal knows that the only way to have Will all to himself is to give him an unsolicited hand with the cases at the FBI even if that involves a few lies.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Hannibal had never considered himself a vigilante. Killing the rude does not make you a vigilante. However, going behind the police's back and killing the people who commit crimes, does unfortunately make you a vigilante.

And Hannibal had never intended to become one, yet the circumstances had brought him there.

Summer had always made the number of crimes skyrocket. Tattlecrime.com and Will's very little free time reflected the way things were going. Or not going.

*

"Wait." Hannibal interrupted Will. "Last time you were telling me about the bodies who are all missing an eye. You are now talking about the case with the truck driver or the one with the church lady?"

Will sighed and rubbed his face with the palm of his hands as if he was trying to make sense of it too. "None of those, actually. A new one. A delivery man most likely."

"And you are working on all these cases?"

"That's because I am the best. Jack's words, not mine. And if doesn't motivate me then he says his other favorite line."

"You are saving lives." Hannibal quoted him. "I know you are the best but it's completely unrelated to the meaning Jack assigns to that. You are the best outside work, not only when you hunt serial killers."

"I am clearly not the best at that either since I ended up being committed to one."

"You almost said "relationship". It's better than the last time when you phrased it as... "the thing you and I have". "Committed" implies commitment."

"I see the bodies in the forensics lab more than I see you. If anything, I'm in a relationship with them." Will said trying to change the subject by acting as if he was casual about it.

"Take some days off and spend more time with me then. Be committed." Hannibal said, more straight-forward than Will had expected.

"Once I am done with these cases, I will."

"I have heard about this before."

"I promise."

"Another commitment."

"I have to go back." Will said as his phone started to buzz on the coffee table. "It would be really helpful if the Ripper stayed put at least."

"The Ripper is feeling neglected and has to take it out on someone."

"Jack will have a stroke if a new body drops. Then I will also have a stroke because of the amount of coffee I will be consuming."

"You're already having enough caffeine." Hannibal commented.

"Did I tap my foot all along?" Will wondered if it was because of the caffeine or because of the discussion related to their relationship. He knew that Hannibal was probably questioning that too.

"Yes, darling, you did. Come later for dinner."

"Can't. But I will call you on my way home. And please stay put."

*

So that was in short the reason why Hannibal was now not staying put. The Ripper however was. He would find the killers, he would leave their bodies somewhere for the FBI to find them and he would have to stop himself from taking any souvenirs with himself.

If Will was struggling with the idea of being in a relationship, the last thing he wanted was for Will to feel invaded at work by his 'help'. He would have to be subtle and leave nothing that could make him trace the crimes to him. Easier said than done.

A few glances over the case files and listening to Will's ideas were good starting points. And what if that meant a few sleepless nights? The quicker these pigs died, the quicker Will would be only his.

*

"This body is our truck driver." Jack repeated for the third time as he was staring at the fresh corpses. "And this is our delivery guy. Someone is going after our killers."

"Pro bono." Will said loudly, earning a stern look from Jack.

"We can thank the church lady for that." Jimmy said. "We found a footprint. It's hers."

"Let me get this right. The church lady who is currently hiding from us is suddenly a vigilante?"

"She must be thinking she is doing God's work. Punishing the bad people." Brian concluded.

"Did other bodies drop?"

Will was trying to push away the hunch he was having. Someone who had access to the case files was Hannibal. The footprint from the church lady? If he caught her then he was just using her hand for convenience. Was it what was going on or was he trying to convince himself that Hannibal was not upset with him? These bodies did not have the Ripper's signature but Will couldn't just ignore the coincidences.

His mind was not exactly there. Hannibal had not replied to his texts the whole day which was very much unlike him. And he had very scarcely texted him back in all the other days.

"Will? No comments?"

"I need to ask Hannibal."

*

On his way to Hannibal's place he made sure to get a fancy bottle of wine. He could spend the night with him. He could ask about the bodies. He was not skipping work, he was still thinking about the cases and making sure Hannibal was not being overdramatic. Since when was he so concerned with what Hannibal was feeling?

What he did not expect was the fact that Hannibal was not home. He waited in his car for hours until it was completely dark. Hannibal's parking spot remained empty.

After a few attempts of calling him, he gave up. At least he had the spare keys to his house.