#does any of this make sense? probably not.

[sanakiras]

PICTURE ME LIKE I PICTURE YOU

PAIRING — kim mingyu x fem!reader

WORD COUNT — 1.2k

SYNOPSIS — mingyu is hopelessly in love with someone who doesn’t love him back, and all that lies ahead is acceptance.

TAGS — unrequited love, fwb!gyu, explicit sexual content

NOTE — just a short drabble i felt like putting out. came up w this while listening to picture you by chappell roan, such a beautiful song, give it a listen !! <3

it’s been dark outside for several hours when mingyu’s kissing every inch of your body. he pushes himself into you with ease, but his touch is light as a feather. gentle.

the pace he keeps is slow, and fuck, you don’t think it’s ever felt this intimate before.

normally he’s relatively talkative during sex — this might be the quietest he’s been in bed so far, save for the grunts and moans working their way out of his throat.

“feels so good, gyu—” you’re half-slurring your words, not missing how his big hand interwines his fingers with yours as he ruts into you, a gesture that breaks your heart.

how can something feel so right yet so wrong at the same time?

of course mingyu didn’t go into this little friends-with-benefits thing with the idea of falling in love with you. hell, it’s the last thing he expected. he wanted something without strings attached but with consistency, a sense of easiness; you turned out to be looking for the same.

but he fell in love with you in a way he didn’t think was possible. to him, it felt like the kind of love you only find in the movies; the kind you can only dream of encountering in real life. it hit him sudden and hard — he didn’t confess to you, out of fear he’d lose whatever bond you have with him.

or perhaps that’s not all there is to it. perhaps he never confessed his true feelings because he knew, deep down, that you’d never reciprocate them.

because you don’t really fall for guys like him. you much prefer guys like wonwoo.

his best friend. his roommate.

the day he first saw it, he was horrified. what was a simple interaction to anyone else, was his worst nightmare. his heart sank in his chest the second he watched you and wonwoo meet from afar — that look the two of you shared was enough.

you’d never looked at him that way.

all that’s been on his mind is your look of brutally honest disappointment when he opened the door to his dorm and told you wonwoo was out. if you’d stood any closer to him, you could probably hear his confidence plummeting to his feet, as well as his heart ripping in two.

the whole ordeal should’ve made him put an end to the agreement you had with him, but he couldn’t do it.

because it’s all he had left of you. the realization hit him like a truck; the moment he’d put a stop to it, you’d no longer be his in any way.

not that you ever really were to begin with.

he’s clinging onto this last piece of you so selfishly, he knows that, but he so much as looks at you and everything he wants to say gets stuck in his throat, his thoughts never seeing the light of day.

an unsettling feeling slowly brews in his ribcage. all he wants is to understand. why don’t you love him? what does his best friend have that he doesn’t?

he might just break on top of you here — would you even care?

maybe you would. or maybe you’d just pity him.

the sound of your whimpering underneath him makes a strange, achingly good combination of heartbreak and lust. he wants nothing more than to dig his teeth into your soft skin, but forces himself not to.

your legs wrap tighter around his hips, pulling him closer to you. it’s you who puts your hands on the back of his neck, kissing him so sweetly that it almost makes him believe you want him as much as he wants you.

what makes everything worse is that he knows you tried. for a little while, you tried to see if you could give him a shred of the love he so desperately wanted to give you.

but you couldn’t.

“i want to love you like that, y’know. i want it so bad, and i tried, but…” you told him last week while slow dancing at a friend’s birthday party, “i just can’t.”

while your head was resting between his neck and shoulder, your bodies rocking side to side to the music together, he looked up at the ceiling to hold back his tears, the corners of his mouth curling downwards. it was admirable, how he held his head high that night.

truthfully, you didn’t expect him to come knocking on your door again after that. you broke his heart — even though you never wanted to — so you wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to see you anymore.

but to your surprise, he did come back. he was less cheerful, sure, but it’s as if part of him chose to ignore what you said to him, for reasons you didn’t understand at first.

he needs to accept that you and him aren’t meant to be. perhaps that’s the sole reason he wanted to fuck you tonight.

it almost sickens him how much he wants to beg for you to try again. maybe if you saw him more often, or spent more time together doing whatever you wanted, or if he kissed you even more than he already has — maybe you’d grow to love him in the end.

he buries his head in the crook of your neck, hiding how shitty he feels.

‘cause he knows you won’t love him, no matter what he does or how hard he fights for it.

“i’m close,” he mutters, only momentarily lost in the chasing of his high, “fuck—”

you clench around him with shaky legs, and he shivers at the feel of your nails digging into his skin, hitting his climax right after you.

and it’s then that he breaks. as he lays his head down on your chest, staring at the wall, his lips trembling — he can’t hide how hurt he is anymore.

“i’m sorry,” he chokes out with his face turned away from you, a few silent tears slipping from his eyes in defeat.

with a sad attempt for a smile, you stroke his naked back with your fingertips, your eyes welling up once you feel his teardrops landing onto the skin of your chest.

he’s so dear to you, as loving as a person could possibly be, yet you can’t love him back. a part you hates yourself for it, “i’m sorry, too.”

the sobs are fighting to escape his mouth, but he keeps them quiet, making you almost just as emotional as he is.

“i’ll get over it tomorrow, i promise. i’m sorry.” he whispers, his way of asking if you can stay together like this for just a little while longer.

you just let your tears go with a numb face and strained voice.

“i know.”

eventually, he has no more tears left, and his whole body shudders, feeling himself drift off into sleep with burning, tired eyelids.

he’ll be okay — it’s better like this.

it’s something he’ll come to terms with when he wakes up in the morning.

thank u for reading. please let me know if u enjoyed it x

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

[parker-artio]

The Batfamily in who I think is the most flexible to least flexible (w/ my reasons)

Richard (Dick) Grayson- I feel like this one just makes sense, no extra information needed. He’s the last Flying Grayson, he’s cannonly super fucking flexible, not much information needed.

Cassandra Cain- Once again feel like it’s a given. She’s a baller dancer, and she moves so agile on her feet it’s practically obvious she’s flexible and easy to move

Damian Wayne- Oddly enough I think this boy is like a wet noodle when he wants to be, he is flexible. But you’d never know unless you see his ass play limbo or some shit.

Timothy Drake- He gives flexible. He probably tried to practice Dick’s moves in his room alone when he was a kid and stalked Batman and Robin. He would definitely be more flexible than Damian if Damian didn’t have his young age. Tim could easily surpass Damian in terms of flexibility if he wanted, but he just chooses not to stretch everyday (bad idea)

Stephanie Brown- She’s like Tim- does NOT stretch enough. But she could rival Tim in terms of flexibility if she actually wanted to, she can probably do flips and splits better than Tim, but when it comes to back flexibility he’d win by a landslide

Duke Thomas- He’s got a bigger build, like a quarterback who’s only a freshman kind of build. He’s good at flips, dodging, and jumping, but I don’t think he does any kind of stretches that would improve his flexibility, just the kind of ones that would make sure it’s still working.

Jason Todd- Bro is built like a double fridge with a top AND bottom freezer. He’s massive. He’s got muscles that can rival his siblings HEADS. Hes tall, he’s beefy, and he’s a marksman. He’s flexible enough to do flips and cartwheels, but he cannot do anything that involves twisting his body up.

Bruce Wayne- He used to be just like Tim flexibility wise, but then he stated to adopt kids.

Barbara Gordon- This is in no way a jab at her, I fucking love her. Before the wheelchair she’d be placed between Damian and Tim. But now she’s got her shoulder and upper back- that’s it. Which is as flexible as she can get them, but it’s also half of her body. I love her so much though, she’s badass and without her everyone would crumble. So it doesn’t matter if she’s flexible or not.

Alfred Pennyworth- He’s old.

If we want to add Kate, i firmly believe she’d be placed Steph and Duke. She’s flexible, but also just enough to do all of the stuff she needs.

(I know there’s so many other members I could add but ppl only seem to care for these guys- but I might make a more thorough and longer one, with more family members, like Harper, Selina, Helena [depending on what universe], Claire, Luke, David, Cullen, ect.)

[dunmeshistash]

Does the monster inside Lycion wake up when he turns wolf-man, and does that mean he could potentially fight off succubi like Izutsumi? Just as important: I was wondering if that's why she's more wild, cuz the monster cat is always awake and alert and has opinions sometimes and that affects her mentally much more than it does Lycion.

I don't think they're "awake" in the sense of being conscious. I know the graph shows the beast "sleeping" inside him to show its dormant but I don't think that's literal like the beasts having a separate consciousness

I think it has an affect on them because because in beastform their physical bodies change and that might affect how they feel and perceive things, (we even see that somewhat with Chilchuck being more calm as a tallman), the soul probably affects their personality too but at least in Lycion's case he's still just Lycion in both forms? Here's what he says about beastmen's personality changes

I actually don't know if Lycion would have an advantage as beastmen against succubi like Izutsumi does, tbh I don't even fully understand how it works with Izutsumi, I think the succubi get confused by the mixed souls of beastmen, but unlike Izutsumi who isn't really "in touch" with her fully human side Lycion lives as a human most of the time, so I'd assume succubi aiming for his human side would have more of an effect on him even in werewolf form? But maybe in the beast side could help him resist somewhat? Unsure!

Another thing that makes me think the beast isn't really "activelly making them do things" or having a will is cause Izutsumi doesn't recognize and basically isn't affected by the succubi that aims for her beast side. So the cat soul isn't really "making her do" anything, both souls are "active" in beastmen form but I don't think there's differentiation between them to the extent of being separate wills, does that make any sense?

About Izutsumi being more "wild" I think it's because she has been a beastman for a longtime with no option to become fully human, and on top of that she has also been severely neglected and never socialized properly as a human. Even irl human children become "feral" when severely neglected/not socialized and Izutsumi being part beast would probably exacerbate that.

She basically has survived on mostly instincts for years and then they expected her to know how to behave in society just like that. Maizuru wasn't really the best teacher

So you have a child with the instincts of a cat who wasn't socialized properly until she turned 10 and then kept being mistreated and abused by people that tried to force her to "act properly" until she turns 17 and escapes. Idk how she would act like any other way in her situation.

[mythalism]

i think what people need to understand is that no amount of essays assuring me of veilguard's strengths, of which i agree there are plenty, is going to change the fact that the emotional experience veilguard prompted within me (and for many others) while i played it was a deeply negative one. discomfort at best, painful at worst. im talking stomach aches. visceral, somatic creeping disappointment and dread that i tried to fight for hours and hours but eventually had no choice but to accept. i stopped wanting to play entirely around 30 hours. i felt vaguely ill. i felt anxious. i could not sleep for a few days. and im not saying i felt sick because it was so bad, but that i felt sick because of the sinking realization that i was about to be terribly, horribly disappointed after so, so long. you could call me dramatic and im sure someone will. idk what to tell you. my emotions manifest physically long before they become decipherable or understandable to me mentally, especially when they're 10 years in the making. probably an autism symptom. regardless, it was genuinely pretty awful, especially because i had immense good faith for this game. i was so hopeful and optimistic and generally thrilled and literally anyone who followed me before october 31 would know that. the emotional whiplash and crash was intense and devastating, and i was reeling for days. you cannot tell me that this experience was "wrong" or "toxic" due to it's negative nature. it was entirely involuntary and outside of my control, as i would expect many people's joy was. emotional reactions are not beholden to fandom discourse.

any post i have made criticizing the game since is attempt to make sense of the emotional roller-coaster of the past 10 years, this summer, and finally this game's release. i do not come on here and write out my criticisms of veilguard because i want YOU to dislike it too. the nature of my essays are not persuasive. if they do persuade you its just because i am a well-trained essayist. sorry. if they dont, great! that wasnt the point. i have no desire to change anyone's mind on the game, in fact i actually would not wish the disappointment i felt on anyone. the fact that i have a lot of followers who agree with what i say and who spread the thoughts i express across tumblr is literally out of my control. when i write out my long-winded criticisms, it is out of a need to express and externalize that sinking, cold feeling i had while playing, in pursuit of understanding exactly why playing that game felt that way to me. identifying, analyzing and verbalizing is the only way i have been able to process my experience. its confessional and therapeutic more than anything. it helps other people understand their own difficult emotional process with the game. its not an attempt to ruin your fun. my negative experience with veilguard does not invalidate anyone else's positive one.

i see so many posts acting like all criticism is an intentional, targeted hate campaign and i dont understand that assumption. to what ends? what would that achieve? why would i bother with such a thing? maybe that is some people's intention in the deep hater corners of this website, and im blissfully unaware. if it is, fuck them. its certainly the intention of annoying grifters, but i feel the distinction between transphobe grifters and devastated fans is pretty clear, so im not sure why the lines are deliberately blurred as if those groups are remotely similar. some of my criticisms come from a more objective place. the writing comes to mind, and it's a consistent criticism from thousands of players. but just because i consider it to be poorly executed, does not make it unlovable. and when i say that i think its poorly done, i am not saying that you cannot or should not love it, or that you are stupid for loving it. maybe someone out there is saying that!!! but i am not. things do not have to be perfect to be enjoyable. they dont even have to be well executed to be enjoyable. "i think x aspect of veilguard is poorly done for yz reasons" is a completely different sentence than "you should not like x aspect of veilguard for yz reasons". these are not the same statements. i see so many posts that are so vitriolic and acting like two experiences of this game cannot coexist, that one has to win and be objectively right, moralizing them on a false axis of positivity = good and negativity = bad, and acting like the existence of one negates the experience of the other. and why? why would that be true? i literally love so many things that other people think are absolute ass. i also love plenty of things that i myself think are actual ass. i love them anyway. this is allowed and really fun. i am not sure who told you that it is not.

however, i have just as much of a right to express my disappointment as you have to express your excitement. i am genuinely happy for everyone who loves the game, i am glad it resonated, or that you saw yourself in its characters, or that it just scratched your hyperfixation itch. but whatever je ne se quoi it had for you, it did not have for me. i have written out so much criticism about so many aspects of the game, but fundamentally what it comes down to and what i cannot express in words is that while i played after waiting 10 years for that moment, it felt wrong. it wasn't that i had specific expectations for game story that were not met, in fact, it exceeded my expectations in a lot of ways. i mean that in terms of how i felt, something was off. it did not resonate. it did not land. it did not hit the right cord with me. i did not have enough moments of joy to outweigh the feeling of emptiness. i did not walk away from it feeling the way that the previous games made me feel. and ive been trying to figure out exactly why that is for three months now by talking about it with people who feel similarly. i am not sure that i will ever be able to analyze my way into figuring it out. it might just have to simply be that it left me bereft.

and so my posts are not anti-veilguard hater propaganda to make you feel like shit for loving the game. rather, they are me verbally processing exactly why i feel like shit so i can hopefully stop feeling like shit. to assume that people who are trying to process these negative feelings are toxic and intentionally malicious is a projection made in bad faith. i love dragon age, and it is because i love it so much that it disappointed me, and it is because disappointed me that i have to verbally process it on tumblr.com so that i dont go absolutely insane. i tag my posts properly. i do not go into tags where i do not belong. i do not rage-bait. i am participating in post-partum dragon age therapy between me and my followers. if it ends up on your dash, sorry. my therapy is popular i guess. so please for the love of god enjoy the game, freely and enthusiastically. i am happy for you. i will sit here and be jealous that it spoke to something in your soul that it unfortunately did not speak to in mine, and nothing i say can take that away from you. please stop interpreting it as an attempt to.

[echo-riot]

✞⛧Sevika/Abby/Ellie if you cheated on them ✞⛧

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, angst m?

✞⛧ Sevika ✞⛧

✞⛧ Sevika doesn’t react right away. She’s too angry, too betrayed to speak. The silence between you two feels suffocating. She just stares at you, her grey eyes turning cold like metal, her jaw clenched so tight you can almost hear her teeth grind.

✞⛧ She’ll act like it doesn’t bother her at first. She’s tough. She’s not the kind of person who lets things like this get to her. But the truth is, it cuts deeper than any blade. The realization that you—her person, her ally, the one person she’d let in—would do this to her? It’s too much. It’s a betrayal she can’t shake off.

✞⛧ Don’t expect her to shout, to throw things, to cry. Sevika doesn’t cry. She’ll leave instead, disappearing for a few hours, but when she comes back, she’s colder than before. Her metal arm will be clenched tight, and her voice will be low, almost a growl, when she speaks.

✞⛧ She’ll corner you in a room and ask in the most dangerous tone possible, “Did you really think I wouldn’t find out? Did you think I’m that stupid?” But there’s no yelling. It’s all calm, controlled rage.

✞⛧ Sevika will demand answers, but she won’t beg. She’ll force you to say the truth, to admit it, and when you do, her gaze will be so intense, so full of pain, that it’ll break your heart to see it. But she won’t show the hurt on her face. No, she’ll mask it with anger, with disgust.

✞⛧ She’ll remind you of everything she’s done for you. All the times she protected you, fought for you, killed for you. How she made you hers in every sense of the word. But now? Now you’ve thrown it all away for someone else. For what? A stupid mistake?

✞⛧ Sevika won’t scream. She won’t make a scene. But her body will shake with fury, her fists clenching at her sides. If you don’t beg her to stay, if you don’t apologize properly, she will walk away. Not even a backward glance.

✞⛧ You’ll feel the weight of her absence for days, weeks, months. When you come across her in public, you’ll see the way others look at you with pity, knowing what you did. But Sevika? She’ll act like you never existed. She’ll keep her distance, refusing to give you the satisfaction of seeing her hurt.

✞⛧ She won’t immediately forgive you. It’ll take time. If she does forgive you, it’s not going to be easy. She’ll keep you at arm’s length, never fully trusting you again. And when she does decide to let you back in, there’s no guarantee you’ll be the same person you were before. You’ll have to prove you’re worthy of her trust again, and that won’t happen overnight.

✞⛧ If you beg for her forgiveness, don’t expect it to be given easily. Sevika’s pride won’t let her give in that quickly. She’ll make you work for it—show her you’re sorry, prove that you won’t do it again.

✞⛧ She’ll probably stop calling you “hers” for a while, at least until she knows she can trust you again. You’ll feel the sting of her indifference every time you see her with someone else, every time you hear her laugh with someone else.

✞⛧ But you know what’s worse than her coldness? The rare moments when she lets her guard down. When she finally speaks to you, when her voice cracks with the emotion she’s been holding back. That’s when you realize just how deeply she was hurt. That’s when the guilt eats you alive.

✞⛧ If you think Sevika won’t find a way to punish you, you’re dead wrong. She might not do anything overt, but she’ll make sure you feel the consequences. A cold shoulder. A brush off. A reminder that she’s a force to be reckoned with—and you’re not the only one who can be ruthless.

✞⛧ Sevika won’t apologize for anything, but her actions will eventually speak louder than words. If she’s willing to take you back, she’ll show you in the way she holds you when she thinks you’re asleep, in the way she keeps her arm around you when no one else is around. But even then, there’ll always be a part of her that’s guarded, that’s holding back. Because you’ve proven that even the strongest walls can come down. And she can never forget that.

•|||——————————————————————|||•

✞⛧Abby ✞⛧

✞⛧ Abby finds out in the worst way possible. You think you’ve been subtle, but she’s been watching, quietly observing every small change in your behavior. She notices the way your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes anymore, the way you avoid her touch, the way you get quiet after your phone buzzes. She knows. She always knows.

✞⛧ When she confronts you, she’s calm. Too calm. It makes your stomach drop because you know that when Abby is this still, this composed, it means she’s broken. Her voice doesn’t shake, but you can see the hurt in her eyes, even if she tries to hide it behind that stoic, cold façade.

✞⛧ Abby won’t scream. She won’t yell. She just… stops. She’s quiet for a long time, and that silence feels like it stretches on forever. It eats away at you, because the worst part is that she’s not angry—she’s disappointed. She’ll never yell. She won’t even beg you to explain. She’ll just leave. And that will hurt more than anything.

✞⛧ When she walks away, it feels like everything in her life just crumbled. All the walls she built to protect herself, everything she sacrificed, was because she trusted you. And now it feels like all of it is gone.

✞⛧ You’ll try to apologize, to explain that it was a mistake, but Abby’s not stupid. She’ll cut you off before you can even finish, her eyes sharp like knives, “Don’t you dare. I’m not stupid. Don’t make me regret ever giving you that trust.”

✞⛧ She won’t leave immediately, but she’ll pull away, emotionally, physically. Her touch? Gone. Her warmth? Gone. You’ll feel cold, like you’re just a ghost in her life now.

✞⛧ Every attempt to make things right will feel like it’s hitting a brick wall. You’ll buy her gifts, write her notes, try to touch her hand… but nothing works. She doesn’t want your apologies, she doesn’t want your gifts. She wants the trust that you broke—and now it’s gone forever.

✞⛧ You’ll regret it. Oh, you’ll regret it so hard. Because Abby Anderson isn’t the type to let go of people easily. When she loves, she loves deeply. And when she cuts someone out of her life, it’s like she never even knew them.

✞⛧ You’ll sit there, remembering the way her fingers would curl around yours, how she’d soften when she kissed you, the warmth of her body wrapped around yours at night. And then it hits you: I fucked up. You threw that all away.

✞⛧ And the worst part? When she’s gone, Abby won’t look back. She’ll keep moving forward. She’ll survive, like she always does, but it will kill her inside. Because she thought you were worth fighting for. And now, she’s fighting against herself. She’s fighting to forget you.

✞⛧ Maybe you’ll see her again, maybe you won’t. But every time you do, you’ll see the coldness in her eyes that wasn’t there before. You’ll see the wall between you, a divide she built to protect herself. She’ll never forgive you, not fully, and the pain of that will linger with you for as long as you live.

✞⛧ Abby doesn’t forgive easily, especially when it comes to betrayal. And now you’ll never be able to take back the damage you caused.

•|||——————————————————————|||•

✞⛧ Ellie ✞⛧

✞⛧ Ellie would feel a pit in her stomach, like someone just ripped her heart out and stomped on it. She doesn’t know if she wants to scream or cry, so she does both in her head while trying to stay calm on the outside.

✞⛧ She wouldn’t confront you right away. No, she’d need time to process. Maybe a couple days of silence where she avoids your gaze, her mind racing, but too hurt to speak up.

✞⛧ When she finally confronts you, it’s not with anger. It’s with quiet, devastated hurt. Her voice shakes, her hands trembling, and she’s trying to hold back tears. “Why? Was I not enough for you? What did I do wrong?”

✞⛧ She’s the type to think she’s messed up somehow. That she’s broken. Maybe you left because of something she couldn’t give you, maybe it’s her past catching up to her—her survivor’s guilt, her trauma.

✞⛧ The guilt would consume her. Even if you were the one in the wrong, Ellie would still find a way to blame herself. She’d second-guess everything she did for you. “Did I push you away? Was I too much?”

✞⛧ Her jealousy would become unbearable. Every time you talked to someone else, a dull ache would sting in her chest, knowing what happened. She’d try to act like she’s fine, but the weight of the betrayal would linger in her eyes.

✞⛧ If you tried to explain yourself, Ellie would shut down. She doesn’t want excuses. It’s too late for words now. She wants to forget everything and pretend like it never happened.

✞⛧ She’d probably push you away at first. Not because she doesn’t care, but because it hurts too much to love you knowing what you’ve done. She’d rather you hate her than face the possibility of being with you and feeling that same sting every time you touch her.

✞⛧ But deep down, she’d want you to fight for her. Not with words, but with actions. Show her that you’re sorry. Show her that you really want her. But she won’t admit it. Instead, she’ll act cold, distant, and self-destructive.

✞⛧ Ellie would start locking herself away even more. Her guitar would be the only thing that comforts her, strumming out painful, broken chords, her soul pouring into each note.

✞⛧ Every time she sees you, there’s this flicker of hope in her that maybe, just maybe, you’ll regret it, but it fades every time you look at her like she’s just a thing to you.

✞⛧ If you genuinely want to make amends, it would take a long time. Ellie’s not one to easily forgive, not when the wound is this deep. She’d need space to heal, but even then, she’d always wonder if you’d hurt her again.

✞⛧ She’d become distant, but in her quiet, fragile way, she’d want to be loved again—just not in the same way, because she can never go back to the naive hopefulness she had before. That part of her is gone.

✞⛧ The scars would remain. She could never forget, not fully. But she might forgive, in time—if only because, deep down, she still loves you. Even if it scares her. Even if it hurts too much.

✞⛧ But don’t be mistaken. She’s no fool. If you do it again, she’ll walk away. And she won’t look back.

[laswells-ashtray]

Irritated Kate, irritated Kate

"It wasn't like I meant for it to happen."

John's voice is grating in a way that signals in the back of her mind that she's exhausted and should probably eat something. That doesn't make his gruff-sounding though admittedly sheepish attempt to talk himself out of Kate's irritation any less exasperating.

Her tone is clipped, face tight with barely restrained annoyance at their circumstances as she responds. "I'm aware."

John grimaces, glancing back at Nikolai in desperation as he looks for verbal backup. Nikolai waves him away, not a hint of sympathy on the Russian's face.

"I'll get you a new shirt." He offers up as a solution, turning his attention back to Kate, guilt weighing down his shoulders. Serves him right.

He and Nikolai were tasked with finding a man for later questioning and managing to subtly load him in the back of the car they were using. It should've been easy enough given the difference in size and skills between their target and the two men.

The only issue was neither of them had thought to anticipate that the man might have been carrying a blade instead of a gun. The wound on John's arm was shallow, child's play for a man with his history. The blood he had accidentally smeared across the cuff of the shirt Kate was wearing, however, would stain. Given that she had borrowed Sarah's favourite shirt in an attempt to look casual in the area they had picked up their target, the stain would be more of an issue than it originally appeared to be.

She narrows her eyes at the Brit, holding her forearm out to him and forcing him to look at the soaked material that clings to her wrist. "You know that won't help this situation."

She ignores Nikolai's snort of blatant amusement, as does John.

"I'll get Sarah a new shirt?" It's a question instead of a statement, if he expected to throw out apparent solutions until he was no longer the subject of Kate's ire then he'd be sorely mistaken.

Sensing the failure of his current tactic, he swiftly swaps to trying to guilt her. "You can't be pissy with me when I'm injured."

Kate stares blankly at him silently for a minute or two, remaining indifferent to his plight. "You just said that you've knicked yourself worse while shaving."

"He has."

Nikolai's attempt at instigating almost amuses her. Almost.

John grumbles under his breath, something about partners and betrayal as his tone becomes pleading, almost petulantly so.

"I'm sorry about the blood on the shirt, I didn't even notice it until you pointed it out. Kate, fuck sake, don't do this to me."

At the very back of her mind, she ponders just how many lunches she can get him to pay for by using this as ammunition.

[alpaca-clouds]

"I thought you wanted this!" Religious Zealotism in Castlevania

Something Castlevania Nocturne Season 2 made me think about a lot about is its relation to religious zealotism, and how generally speaking religious zealotism is a theme that has been around since the first season aired in 2017.

And there is one very interesting aspect to this: Only one character escapes the grasp of religious zealotism for good - at least from all we know. And that character is Isaac. (Though I guess we also can talk about Mizrak.)

The Bishop & Emmanuel

The unnamed Bishop, who gets killed by Blue Fangs in season 1 of the show, and Emmanuel both are Catholics. They are similar in their motivation - and yet also very different.

The Bishop is very self-righteous. He claims he is acting in the will of God, even though obviously nothing he is doing has actual basis in the bible - especially not in the New Testament, which I remind you does explicitly state that it does undo a variety of rules from the Old Testament. Lisa was in the end just helping people with knowledge that he did not understand, and he killed her for it. Even if her husband had not been Dracula, who then exacted revenge on humanity for it, probably killing thousands in the process, the bishop would have probably doomed quite a lot of people through it. People, who without Lisa's medicine would have died even without Dracula's genocide. We maybe should not give a whole lot on what Blue Fangs says, but generally speaking I think that his entire thing with "your work makes God puke" is not too far off. Still, the Bishop very much clearly had very successfully convinced himself that he was indeed doing God's bidding. Of course God never thanked him for it, and he - like most other people - eventually ended up being killed by Dracula's creatures.

In Nocturne then we have Emmanuel. I wrote about his motivation already. He is different from the Bishop in that he does not think fully that he is enacting God's direct will, but thinks he is still acting in the name of God. He thinks he works for God, if he stops the heretic Revolution and then also Erszebet. Still, he is of no illusion about the fact that his actions will eventually end him up in hell. It is still zealotism that makes him act like this, though. He is absolutely certain of the fact that he is doing what he is doing for heaven and for God. In this he has convinced himself to not even do the kind of Witchcraft that definitely is forbidden by scripture, as he makes a deal with what he thinks is a demon. But of course, just like other religious men before him, he absolutely is convinced that this is still for the greater good. (Insert obligatory Hot Fuzz reference here.)

And just like the bishop in season 1 of Castlevania, Emmanuel obviously eventually dies because of this, not finding protection through his religion.

Drolta

Drolta is quite interesting in regards to the religious Zealotism, because she is the kind of Zealot that we very rarely see in media.

I talked about it before: Western media at the very least tends to be iffy about depicting religion in any strong sense outside of the religion of a possible exorcist in a horror movie (which tends to be Catholicism, as to Americans apparently Catholicism is a very magic religion, I assume). If we see Zealots they are usually Christian or Muslim.

A kemetic Zealot is something I have never encountered. But indeed, Drolta is a very interesting character through this. I wrote about her motivations, too. Her religion at this point is close to being a dead religion. And then the religious community she has gets murdered around her. She is a member of a cult (aka someone from a polytheistic religion just praying to one of the many gods). And thus she prays for a sign from her goddess. And the first thing that happens after this is that a vampire comes in to feed of the dead bodies. So to Drolta this is the sign she has been waiting for. And she, who clearly is afraid to be ever helpless again, decides the goddess wants her to be a vampire.

Now, she knows her goddess to be dead, and herself now being undead, she also decides that the goddess must want this too. Undead immortality. And thus she starts to reason herself into believing this is, what she has to do. And when she finally is confronted by her goddess she cannot even comprehend, that this could not have been what the goddess has wanted. That indeed the goddess was not aware of what Drolta was doing.

Her case is of course quite interesting in that she indeed gets opposed by her goddess herself, rather than just facing defeat in the end.

Mizrak

Before we talk about Isaac, we should quickly chat about Mizrak, too. Because within this conversation of Zealotism Mizrak is quite interesting exactly for being very, very religious, but not a zealot. Mizrak's religious experience in fact is very much focused on his doubt and his guilt. Yes, he strongly believes in the Christian God and in Catholic doctrine. He see him pray several times, and he soothes himself by saying prayers. Yet, he very much is doubting what gets presented to him. While every other character in this list goes to further and further extremes in the name of their deity, excusing those crimes to themselves by telling themselves it is what the deity wants, Mizrak cannot do that.

Mizrak does not know what God wants, and he does not claim to know. He is in fact at times clearly doubting God, partially probably because of his own homosexuality. Doctrine at the time said, homosexuality was a test given to the people to test them and their devotion to God. But of course, someone thinking critically about this, cannot help but conclude that this means God is quite cruel to test some people like this, and not others.

However, the point for Mizrak gets reached, when Emmanuel is about to kill Maria in his Zealotism. No doctrine, and no religious scripture will convince Mizrak that it is right to kill or even endanger a child - no matter to what end. And this is the point where he concludes that even if this was what God wanted, he - Mizrak - in that case cannot want what God wants, and he will in the worst case stand against God's will, because his moral integrity is stronger than his religious zeal. (This is the reason I like this character so much.)

Isaac

Finally we have Isaac, who is very much interesting in this - mainly in that the show does not quite as clearly telegraph his religious zealotism, if you have not read Muslim scripture (and that is more than just the Qur'an). I have seen quite a lot of discussion about why Isaac is so perfectly happy to commit genocide, despite his deeply held religious believes. After all, religion in general has strong opinions about killing people, right? And even if we were to assume that God was alright with killing non-believers, or non-Muslims specificially, "killing all the people in the world" would definitely include quite a lot of Muslims, right?

If you have however read the scripture, there is enough answer to this question in Isaac's dialogue. He does quote and reference scripture more than once, and from this it becomes quite clear: Isaac believes that the prophecized end times have begun and that he has been chosen by God to enact His will to end humanity, so that all the humans can eventually be reunited with God in heaven. (Please note: While it depends on the flavor of Islam people follow, Islam in general has an idea more closely to Hinduism, in that souls that end up in hell will be punished until their soul is redeemed. While in Hinduism this means a soul is ready for reincarnation, in Islam it means the soul can finally ascent to heaven and it is God's goal that in the end all his children will be in heaven. Which is why Isaac references several times that "hell will be empty". In Isaac's view he pulls souls from hell to enact God's will, which will cleanse them and allow them to eventually ascent to heaven.)

Isaac however is interesting in comparison to the other zealots of the show, as he allows himself to be reached by reason. After the Captain, the shopkeeper and Miranda talk to him, he does eventually come around to the believe that not only he was on the wrong path, but also that his zealotism itself was a sin. Which allows him to stop from going further on this path, and rather choosing a different goal, in which he eventually does want to help people.

[420technoblazeit]

I mean this 100% genuinely: will you sell me on melvik?

I want to ship them but they had criminally few interactions in the show and the interactions weren’t super positive. However, I’m a huge fan of their parallels and think if they had been allowed to have more time together maybe they could’ve gotten closer. I also like them both with Jayce and want all permutations of meljayvik to be happy, not just meljay and jayvik.

I hope this doesn’t come across as me showing up to your house and bashing your ship cause that is not my intention. I genuinely WANT to be sold on melvik. I think my eyes can be opened to it if I hear from melvik shippers

No pressure to answer this either tho. If nothing else I just want to say thank you for all you do for the jayvik and meljavik tumblr ecosystems 🙏🙏🙏 I appreciate you 🫡

ok so the important thing to note about my melvik shipping is im coming at this from a kismesis angle. and if youre not familiar with homestuck shipping dynamics the key part in those kinds of relationships is commitment in helping the other person be better. seeing their flaws and wanting to help them with those flaws in a sometimes meddlesome kind of way. it's not so much built on hatred, as most people think it is, but this sense of i can fix them and i want to commit to helping them be better

my view of mel and viktor's relationship is that mel comes from a very privileged background and in truth has turned a blind eye to injustice in the past because she was fixated on living up to the standards of a medarda. she probably could have done more to help the people of the undercity. but both because she was intent on helping piltover become a more prosperous nation and because she hadn't entirely broken from the expectations of her family, that wasn't a priority for her. and i think viktor would naturally disapprove of that to some extent as someone who grew up in zaun and felt the effects of that kind of ignorance firsthand. viktor on the other hand has adopted a very pacifist and idealistic stance of no violence at any cost. this is probably due in part to his upbringing and the violence he was exposed to when he was younger. and if you want to point to what was basically their only scene together in season 1 i think part of their relationship is that mel views that kind of ideology as a little unrealistic in the grand scheme of things. mel was raised to watch her back at every turn and expect resistance and that would maybe lead her to clash with viktor's principles

but the big thing here and what really sells me on this ship i think is that despite these differences mel and viktor seem to have a LOT of respect for each other. they are both at their core outsiders in piltover, people who never really felt at home there. mel was exiled from noxus but misses it desperately to the point of painting it and dreaming of it constantly. viktor presumably has no one left to miss in zaun but returns there when he fuses with the hexcore because he still wants to help the people he left. they've both faced hardship and seen so much conflict in their lives and because of that chosen peace because they don't want anyone else to experience what they have. they're also both incredibly committed to progress and innovation and share a passion for helping people. i don't think viktor would have accepted mel as a collaborator if he didn't genuinely think that she was better than the other council members. and in the same way mel wouldn't have funded hextech if she didn't think that technology was something worth pursuing. and i really do think their differences could help the other see a perspective that they wouldn't have otherwise. does that make sense? as you can see i am Normal about these two

[johanna-swann]

I was actually thinking about Buck getting married and the last name situation last night in the context of both Buddie and Bucktommy. And my conclusion was that both relationships have very different flavours and this would influence Buck's last name preference in different ways.

With Buddie I feel like it wouldn't be just about Buck and Eddie getting married, it'd be about Buck becoming a part of the DIaz family. Buck never had close ties to his bio family until Maddie left Doug and came to LA. He doesn't have parents or grandparents, aunts or uncles he's particularly close to. His family is mostly chosen family, friends. Before LA it was just him for a long time. I don't think he cares much about the Buckley name.

Eddie on the other hand (though he has his differences with his parents) has a lot of family. There's Pepa, a bunch of cousins are mentioned here and there, Eddie's Abuela is very important to him, he has two sisters and of course there's always Christopher. Most of us headcanon the Diaz family to be very fond and accepting of Buck (with some exceptions sometimes) and to basically adopt him once he and Eddie get closer.

So it kinda makes sense for Buck to not only join the Diaz family by marriage, but also by name once they take that step.

With Bucktommy though neither man seems to have a big bio family they wish to stay connected to by name. I think even Maddie, Buck's sole exception, is a Han now if I remember correctly. [I think she answers her phone as "Maddie Han" early in season 8.]

Tommy mentions how his dad was pretty shitty, probably homophobic and he never brings up other family (except that one accountant cousin, but one short anecdote doesn't indicate any sort of closer bond in my eyes). He does however bring up many times how he doesn't really have a group of people behind him to act as a family and safety net the way the 118 does for Buck.

So I don't think either man is very attached to their last name. Both their bio families are messy at best and they wouldn't really feel like carrying on that energy. They'd want to build something new together which makes me think that instead of picking one name or both keeping their own last names they would hyphenate.

after they get married, would buck take tommy’s last name? would tommy take buck’s? would they hyphenate? or would they keep their own names? tell me what you think

[xoxo-author]

My Salesman

Pairing: Salesman x reader

Warnings: my shitty writing, language, mentions of violence, probably so many errors

Side note: Does anyone know the salesman name in the show or do we really only know him as the salesman? Doesn’t bother me one bit either way 😉

Don’t be nasty! Please don’t copy my work!

Does the story make sense? No. Has it been living in my head since season 2 came out? Yes. Have I thought about the salesman at least 7 days a week since season 2 came out? Also yes.

Enjoy!

Credit to gif owner

I let out a long sigh, "Can you please watch where you're going?"

"Holy shit, I found you!"

My head snaps up, confusion written all over my face. Jin, who I haven't seen in almost two years and who was a family friend, stands in front of me with wide eyes. My confusion only grows deeper as he wraps his arms around me tightly, brings me to his chest, and lifts me off the ground causing me to tense. 

He sets me back on the ground before pushing me to arms length with his hands on my shoulders, "Do you know how long I've been looking for you?"

"Looking for me?"

"You've been missing for three years!" 

"Missing?"

He nods, "You fell off the face of the earth and no one has heard from you since. Do you know how worried we all were?"

I shake my head, trying to shrug off his hands, "I'm not missing Jin."

Jin looks at me as if I was crazy, "You're not missing? Do you think we're all going to believe that you went away on your own? No, your dad was right to report you missing."

My dad? What the hell did he do now? "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Three years ago you vanished without a trace, no one hears from you or knows where you are. Your dad comes into the station and reports you missing."

"You're telling me, my father reported me missing to the cops?"

Jin nods, letting his hands fall from my shoulders down to my forearms, "He was so distraught, he was talking about how you guys were in the train station when a man in a grey suit with a briefcase who was tall approached him and asked him to play a game for money and when your dad refused, the man took you instead."

It doesn't necessarily shock me that my father would lie to the police, he was nothing more than a crook but to know that he reported me missing when it was his fault that I've been gone for three years is mind-blowing. 

"We sent out search parties, hung fliers, posted reward money for your return or any information on you or the man in the grey suit, we sent bolos to other cities and nearby countries, we checked surveillance tapes and everything came back with nothing."

I tilt my head to the side, "What do you mean surveillance tapes came back with nothing?"

I know for a fact that there were so many cameras in the station that one of them was bound to have caught my dad just hand me over to the grey suit guy. Granted I went willingly but still.

"The cameras were down the day you went missing."

I shake my head, of course they were. While my father is a complete sleazeball, he's a smart sleazeball who would cover all his bases. 

"Your case went cold until about two and a half years ago. We had a guy come in claiming he was taken to this island where there were four hundred and fifty-five other people there who owed money to someone or something. These people could play a couple of games and win money but if you lost a game you would be killed so there could only be one winner and this man claimed to be the winner. We thought he was complete batshit until he mentioned that he was approached by a tall man who wore a grey suit that had a briefcase who asked him if he wanted to play a game."

My father came home roaring drunk one night talking about how he was approached by someone in the station asking if he wanted to play a game for money and how he wanted the entire briefcase but the man wouldn't give it up so my father offered him something for the money in the case. That something was me. My father traded his own daughter for money.

When I found out, I was livid but then I realized it would be my only way out and away from him. 

We went to the station that same night and the man in the suit still stood there, seemingly waiting for my father to return. I suppose I should've beenfrightened at the fact that my father sold me to a stranger but I felt the complete opposite. Maybe it was the fact that he was dressed as an everyday salesman. I was calm as I stood by the man's side and watched my father walk away with the money. 

There was a small part of me that expected the man to let me go but he did not. I've been with him the past three years and I can say they've been the best three years. Yeah, he was completely batshit crazy. I mean he sent people to games where they were more than likely not coming back and he may have killed people (not quite positive on that one but he did come home with blood on his clothes and face so using context clues) but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I don't see the entire crazy side, I mostly only see the "normal" side. 

That's probably the daddy issues talking but that's a problem for another day. 

Letting out a sigh, I manage to tug one of my arms free, "Jin, as you can see, I am completely fine. I am unharmed and not missing. You can tell people I am fine but please don't tell them where I am."

His eyes go even wider, "You're coming home with me. I just told you that your father has been worried sick about you for the past three years and yet you don't want to come home or let me tell him where you are?"

If only he knew the truth about my father, although that might not matter as Jin has always tried, for some reason, to get on my father's good side. I knew of his crush on me since forever so I am sure that is his driving factor for wanting to be on my father's good side. 

Jin looks down as I try to tug my other hand free, his grip only getting tighter, "What's on your finger? Did you marry your kidnapper?"

It was about a year and a half when we got married. I fell for the "normal" side. Again, thank you daddy issues. 

Jin begins to tug on my arm, "You're coming home and that's the end of it. You and I will get married, your father will be happy, and you'll be home. Everything will go back to normal."

As I use my free hand to tug at his iron-like fist around my forearm, I manage to look at the time on his watch. My head shoots up, eyes frantically glancing over the different faces in the park in search of a certain man who doesn't like when his things are touched. 

Giving my forearm another tug, Jin starts trying to pull me in the opposite direction of where I was headed. 

"Jin, you need to let go of me right now."

A throat clearing behind me made Jin stop in his tracks, his head turning back to look at me. Or rather who was behind me.

I knew who it was without even having to look. 

"Who's this?"

My body tilts to the side a little while my head turns up, "A friend from home."

Returning my attention to Jin, I tug my arm again, "Jin, let go and go back home."

Jin's eyes seemingly trace every inch of the infamous man in the grey suit (although he had on black pants and a white button-up today), "Is this your kidnapper?"

Jins grip on my forearm tightens causing me to suck in a breath and as soon as the words, "Jin you're hurting me" came out of my mouth, my view was obstructed by a stretched-out (rather stretched due to broad shoulders) white button-up. 

"I believe my wife has told you that you are hurting her so it's in your best interest if you let go."

Jin's grip falters for a moment before going back to gripping my forearm, "I'm taking her back to where she belongs."

The man in front of me chuckles and I knew it was game over. 

"I don't like it when people touch what belongs to me."

I couldn't see anything but I could hear and what I heard was a fist connecting to face, more specifically a fist breaking a bone. 

Jin immediately let go of my arm, letting me move out from behind my shield who had his head tilted and his signature smirk. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he was in crazy mode. 

My salesman looks down at me, eyes quickly giving me a once over only to narrow when he sees my now see-through sundress. His eyes snaps back to Jin, who looked like he was about to shit his pants, "Not only was it enough to hurt my wife but you wanted to see what I get to have every night? Did you purposefully make her spill the drinks on herself?"

I quickly place myself in front of him, one of my hands going to his chest while the other goes to the side of his neck. Over the past three years, I've learned that skin-to-skin contact seems to help pull him out of the I'm a killer phase. "Look at me... Look at me, please...I want to go home."

His gaze snaps to mine and I give him a little smile, "Take me home?"

I could feel him relax a little before he reached up and takes hold of my hand that was on his chest. He shoots Jin a look that would for sure kill him if looks could kill and turn on his heels, pulling me in the direction of our home. 

I don't bother turning around to look at Jin.

"What was his favorite game to play as a child?"

My salesman was already looking at me when I looked up at him. 

"If you don't tell me, I'll have to pick my favorite and we both know which one that’ll be”

🔫🔫

[qqueenofhades]

do you have any advice for those in the very early stages of thesis-writing? currently desperately clinging to the mantra of "shitty first drafts," et al

Unfortunately, there is no place where you will more whole-assedly have to embrace the "shitty first draft" mantra than in academic writing, especially in thesis writing, especially if this is your first-ish crack at an advanced and major piece of original research. I'm not sure if this is for an undergraduate senior thesis, a MA-level thesis, or (my true and heartfelt sympathies) a PhD dissertation, but the basic principles of it will remain the same. So there is that, at least. This means that yes, you will write something, you may even feel slightly proud of it, and then you will hand it into your supervisor and they will more or less kindly dismantle it. You have to train yourself to have a thick skin about this and not take it as a personal insult, and if your supervisor is remotely good at their job (not all of them are, alas) they will know how to be tactful about it and not make it feel like a direct and extensive commentary on your private worth as a person. But you will have to swallow it and do what you can, which can include -- if you're the one who has done the research and know that's how you want to present it and/or you are correct about it -- pushing back and having a conversation with them about how you think your original approach does work best. But that will come later. The first step is, yes, to mentally gird yourself to receive critical feedback on something that you have worked hard on, and to understand that no matter how much you grump and grumble and deservedly vent to your friends and so on, implementing the feedback will usually make your piece better and stronger. That is the benefit of working with a trained expert who knows what makes a good piece of research in your particular academic field, and while it doesn't get easier, per se, at least it gets familiar. Be not afraid, etc.

If you're in the writing stage, I assume that you've moved past the topic-selection and general-research stage, but allow me to plump once more the services of your friendly local university library. You can (or at least you can at mine and probably in any decently well-equipped research university) schedule a personal consultation with an expert librarian, who can give you tips on how to find relevant subject databases, create individual research guides (these might already be available on the university library website for classes/general topics), and otherwise level you up to Shockingly Competent Research Superhero. So if you're still looking for a few extra sources, or for someone else who might be reading this and is still in the "how the heck do I find appropriate and extensive scholarly literature for my thesis??" stage, please. Go become a Research Ninja. It's much easier when you have a minion doing half the work for you, but please do appreciate and make use of your university librarian. It's much more effective than haphazard Google Scholar or JSTOR searches hoping to turn up something vaguely relevant (though to be fair, we all do that too), and it's what your tuition dollars are paying for.

Next, please do remind yourself that you are not writing the whole thesis in one go, and to break it down into manageable chunks. It usually does make sense to write the whole thing semi-chronologically (i.e. introduction, lit review, chapter 1, chapter 2/3/4 etc, conclusion), because that allows you to develop your thoughts and make logical connections, and to build on one piece to develop the next. If you're constantly scrambling between chapters and zig-zagging back and forth as things occur to you, it will be harder to focus on any one thought or thread of research, and while you might get more raw output, it will not be as good and will require more correction and revision, so you're not actually hacking yourself into increased productivity. You should also internally structure your chapters in addition to organizing your overall thesis, so it makes sense to draw up a rough outline for section A, section B, section C within the body of a single chapter. This will make you think about why the segues are going in that order and what a reasonably intelligent reader, who nonetheless may not have the specialized knowledge that you are demonstrating for them, needs to move understandably from one section to the next.

Some academics I know like to do an extensive outline, dumping all their material into separate documents for each chapter/paper and kneading and massaging and poking it into a more refined shape, and if that works for you -- great! I'm more of the type that doesn't bother with a ton of secondary outlines or non-writing activity, since that can lead you away from actually writing, but if you need to see the fruit of your research all together in one place before you can start thinking about how it goes together, that is also absolutely the way that some people do it. Either way, to be a successful academic writer, you have to train yourself to approach academic writing in a very different way from fun writing. You do fun writing when you have free time and feel inspired and can glop a lot of words down at once, or at least some words. You do it electively and for distraction and when you want to, not to a set timeline or schedule, and alas, you can't do this for academic writing. You will have to sit your ass down and write even when you do not feel like writing, do not feel Magically Inspired, don't even want to look at the fucking thing, etc. I have had enough practice that I can turn on Academic Writing Brain, sit down, bang something out, sit down the next day and turn on Academic Editing Brain, go over it again, and send it off, but I have been in academia for uh, quite a while. The good news is that you can also automate yourself to be the same way, but the bad news is that it will take practice and genuine time invested in it.

As such, this means developing a writing schedule and sticking to it, and figuring out whether you work best going for several hours without an interruption, or if you set a timer, write for a certain time, then allow yourself to look at the internet/answer texts/fuck around on Tumblr, and then make yourself put down the distraction and go back to work for another set period of time. (I am admittedly horrible at putting my phone away when I should be doing something else, but learn ye from your wizened elders, etc.) You will have to figure out in which physical space you work best, which may not be a public coffee shop where you can likewise get distracted with doing other things/chatting to friends/screwing around on the internet/doomscrolling/peeking at AO3, and to try to be there as often as possible. It might be your carrel in the library, it might be your desk at home, it might be somewhere else on campus, but if you can place yourself in a setting that tells your brain it's time to work and not look at WhatsApp for the 1000th time in a row, that is also beneficial.

Finally, remember that you do not have to produce an absolutely world-beating, stunningly original, totally flawless and perfect piece, even in its final form. Lots of us write very shitty things when we're starting out (and some of us, uh, still write very shitty things as established academics), and you do not have to totally redefine your entire field of study or propose a groundbreaking theory that nobody has heard of or anything like that. A lot of academic work is small-scale and nuanced, filling in spaces on the margins of other things or responding or offering a new perspective on existing work, and it's best to think of it as a conversation between yourself and other scholars. They have said something and now you're saying something back. You don't need to be so brilliant that everyone goes ZOMGZ I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THAT BEFORE; by its nature that happens very rarely and is usually way out on a limb (extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, etc); you just need to continue the dialogue with a reasonably well-constructed and internally plausible piece. So if you think of it that way, and understand that a shitty first draft will usually develop into something that is good and valuable but not SHOCKING NEW REVELATION clickbait hype, you will take some of the pressure off yourself and be more able to shut up that perfectionist voice in your head. However, all of us have some degree of imposter syndrome and it never entirely goes away, so you'll have to manage that too. Etc etc as before, it doesn't vanish altogether, but it gets easier.

And last but not least, though I'm sure I don't have to say this: for the love of fuckin' god, do not use ChatGPT. Even the genuinely shittiest paper in the world that you still worked on researching, organizing, and writing with your own brain is better than that. Trust me.

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Mitsuhide Akechi's Sequel

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.

Spoilers ahead. This is a full translation. Not Proofread.

After countless fleeting kisses, the candle burned out, leaving the room in darkness.

Mitsuhide: "Mai, it's time to sleep."

Mai: "Are you leaving already?"

Mitsuhide: "I'll stay by your side until you fall asleep."

I looked up at his gentle smile, and a sense of helplessness welled up within me.

(He'll stay while I'm awake, only to leave once I fall asleep.)

Mai: "You always say goodbye so kindly."

Mai: "I'm pretty sure you'll head out into the storm alone while I'm lost in a dream."

Mitsuhide: "You look lovely even when you cry. But I'd rather have your smile as the last thing I see."

Mitsuhide: "Now, close your eyes."

(I don't want to steal any more of his time.)

Urged by his words, I lay down on the futon.

Gathering all my strength, I looked up at him one last time before closing my eyes.

Mai: "Mitsuhide, take care."

Mitsuhide: "Yeah, I'm off."

The sound of birds chirping woke me abruptly.

(It's morning already. It's so quiet.)

The storm had passed, and the room was bathed in the light of dawn.

(He really left without waking me, just like always.)

Mitsuhide's haori was lying on the floor nearby.

(Did he try to drape it over me?)

Right now, I'm not allowed to form connections with the people of this era.

The haori must have slipped off my shoulders and fallen onto the futon.

(How did he feel when he saw that?)

A crushing sensation tightened around my chest, and I bit down hard on my lip.

(I don't want to cry. I've cried more tears than I can bear already.)

Mitsuhide left Azuchi to search for a way to save me.

Time may be running out, but there's still hope.

(This was the right choice.)

(I know that with all my heart, so why does the loneliness of his absence pierce through me like a blade?)

(It's okay to feel hurt.)

(Because this pain is a testament to my time with Mitsuhide.)

Outside, the weather was unbelievably beautiful, but in my heart, the storm still raged.

(What if he doesn't make it in time? What if I don't recover?)

(If that happens, I'll never see him again.)

Mai: ".........."

I desperately stifled a sob that was about to escape.

(No matter what happens, I won't regret it.)

(I can't imagine a life where I never met him.)

(I'm glad I met him.)

Mai: "I love you, Mitsuhide."

Caught between the weight of despair and the faintest grain of hope, I whispered those words.

The shocking news came a few days later.

Ranmaru: "Lady Mai, am I walking too fast? Are you keeping up?"

Mai: "I'm fine."

I replied to Ranmaru and rang the small bell hanging from my necklace just to be sure.

Ranmaru: "Thanks for answering. I can clearly hear your voice."

Mai: "I see. That's good."

Relieved, I tightly gripped the bell on my necklace.

For the past few days, I've become completely invisible to everyone.

(I can't afford to let go of this bell, not even for a moment now.)

Mai: "What do you think this emergency meeting is about?"

Ranmaru: "I have no idea, but Lord Nobunaga gave strict orders to ensure you're present."

(Me?)

Ranmaru: "I have such a bad feeling about this. I almost don't want to take you along."

(Ranmaru is so kind.)

Mai: "Thanks. But I'll be fine."

Mai: "If you have a bad feeling, that's all the more reason for me to hear what's going on."

(Even if I'm scared, I have to keep my eyes open.)

Ranmaru: "I figured you weren't the type to say no anyway."

After giving me a wry smile, Ranmaru's expression grew serious.

Ranmaru: "Let's hurry. The other warlords are probably already there."

Mai: "Okay."

Mai: "Excuse me."

Even though I knew they couldn't see me, I gave a deep bow before sitting in the seat Ranmaru showed me.

Mitsunari: "It seems everyone is present now."

Hideyoshi: "Mai, how are you feeling? Any problem?"

Mai: "Thank you. I'm doing well, thanks to everyone's support."

As I answered, I rang the bell on my necklace louder so they could pinpoint my location.

Ieyasu: "That bell is pretty handy. Maybe I should put one on Wasabi too."

Ieyasu: "Make sure you don't lose it, okay? Searching for you every time would be a pain."

Masamune: "If you're worried, just admit it."

Ieyasu: "I'm not worried."

Keiji: "He's just saying he trusts you won't give up easily."

Ieyasu: "Don't twist my words, will you?"

Still, something felt off.

(It's like they're forcing themselves to act cheerful for my sake.)

Seizing the pause in their conversation, I turned toward Nobunaga.

Mai: "Lord Nobunaga, why did you call me to this emergency meeting?"

Nobunaga: "Let's get to the main topic."

At his words, the room fell completely silent.

Nobunaga: "Hideyoshi."

Hideyoshi: "Yes."

Hideyoshi: "Mai, you're aware that ever since the attack, rebellions have been breaking out frequently in neighboring regions, right?"

Mai: "Yes."

Hideyoshi: "There were numerous small-scale rebellions led by lords of minor domains, ronin, bandits, and lawless people."

Hideyoshi: "But now, someone's shown up who's managed to bring all these random groups together."

(What?)

Ranmaru: "Could it be Kicho and Motonari?"

Hideyoshi: "If it had been them, it would've been a hundred times better."

Masamune & Keiji: "…………"

Ieyasu & Mitsunari: "…………"

Everyone's faces twisted bitterly.

(Don't tell me…)

Nobunaga: "It's just as you've suspected."

Nobunaga: "The leader of the rebellion is Mitsuhide."

(No way!)

Mai: "Why? What reason could Mitsuhide possibly have to side with the…"

I was about to finish my sentence when a wave of goosebumps swept over me.

(There's a reason.)

The warlords' grim expressions told me they had reached the same conclusion as I had.

(He really is a liar.)

The sound of my heartbeat thumped loudly in my ears.

That night, Mitsuhide had bared his heart to me but kept the most important secret.

(His true purpose.)

Mitsuhide: "Quite the spectacle, isn't it?"

In the plains near Azuchi, the rebel army had set up camp, where the rebel generals sat face-to-face with their newly appointed leader, Mitsuhide.

The group, brimming with the tension of battle, made no effort to hide their excitement.

Rebel General 1: "Lord Mitsuhide, let my unit take the vanguard! We'll claim the enemy's head!"

Rebel General 2: "Hah! What does a bumpkin lord know about war? We'll lead the charge ourselves."

Rebel General 3: "Don't get cocky, you ronin scum. When it comes to killing, we're the experts."

Mitsuhide: "Now, now, gentlemen, let's keep it cool."

Rebel Generals: "……….."

At Mitsuhide's single command, the rebels fell silent.

Even so, they remained wary of one another, their piercing glares refusing to relent.

After a tense pause, one of them finally spoke up, his tone laced with dissatisfaction.

Rebel General 1: "Lord Mitsuhide, I get that numbers matter, but why'd you bring together such a shady bunch?"

Mitsuhide: "Each of them has caught my attention for some time."

Mitsuhide: "The men here have the courage to take on Nobunaga."

Rebel General 3: "Heh, easy for you to say. If we hadn't listened to you, we'd be having our heads pecked off by crows right now."

Rebel General 2: "We'll grab whatever hand we need to take down Nobunaga, even if it belongs to a cunning fox. That's all there is to it."

Despite their words, each general cast fearful glances toward Mitsuhide.

A disorganized rabble of soldiers, barely held together, was being forged into an army by this man with eyes cold as ice.

Mitsuhide: "Let me make one thing clear. From this point forward, any act of treachery will not be tolerated."

Mitsuhide: "If you don't wish to die a pointless death, I suggest you remain obedient."

(Mitsuhide's purpose in uniting the rebel army…)

My blood ran cold, and I was unable to speak.

Mitsunari: "The total number of soldiers in the rebel army is expected to be several times ours."

Mitsunari: "However, even if these troops clash with the well-trained Oda warriors, there's no way it'll be a fair fight."

Ieyasu: "There's no way he doesn't understand that."

Ieyasu: "It's all part of his plan."

Hideyoshi: "Recently, some of the rebels have been raiding towns and villages to gather supplies and funds for the army."

Hideyoshi: "But that suddenly stopped a little while ago. Mitsuhide must've gotten the unruly ones under control and forced them into line."

Masamune: "Those pests, no matter how many times you crush them, they just keep appearing, but Mitsuhide has managed to suppress them and gather them into a swarm."

Masamune: "He plans to throw them all directly into the Oda forces and take everyone down with him."

(Take everyone down...)

I wanted to deny it, but I couldn't.

Everyone's thoughts mirrored my own instinct exactly.

None of us believe that Mitsuhide betrayed us.

(Who would have thought that we'd have to confirm our mutual trust in this way?)

Keiji: "So, he became the leader of the enemy forces to put an end to this prolonged war, huh?"

Keiji: "It's a flashy move, but I can't bring myself to praise it."

Hideyoshi: "Does that fool not know the meaning of choosing your own methods!?"

Ranmaru: "This is just outrageous!"

Ranmaru: "He knows exactly how Lady Mai feels, how we all feel, and yet…"

Using us like pieces on a chessboard was something only Mitsuhide could pull off.

(But there had to be other ways to take down the rebel army and stop Kicho and Motonari's plans.)

Nobunaga: "Kicho and Motonari must be sighing in regret by now."

Mai: "Mitsuhide didn't do this just to make the Oda army crush the rebels."

Nobunaga: "What?"

Mai: "It's my fault."

Mai: "Mitsuhide figured out how to cure me."

------------Flashback-----------

Sasuke: "The fact that Mitsuhide's name is starting to disappear from the travel guide suggests that possibility."

Sasuke: "If Mitsuhide vanishes from history, the cause of divine punishment will be gone, and you'll surely return to normal."

---------Flashback Ends--------

(Mitsuhide must have started making contact under the guise of a rebellion as soon as the rebel armies began to form.)

(Seeing through Kicho and Motonari's schemes, and with my condition worsening, Mitsuhide must have chosen to implement this plan to resolve everything at once.)

Nobunaga: "Mai, Tell me everything."

Mitsuhide: "Kyubei, I'd like to write a letter. Could you leave the tent for a moment?"

Kyubei: "Understood."

Mitsuhide: "You don't look pleased. I told you to stay in Azuchi, didn't I?"

Kyubei: "If I'd stayed in Azuchi, who would deliver this letter to Lady Mai?"

Mitsuhide: "Good grief. A vassal who's too sharp can be a real hassle."

Kyubei: "I think it's still far better than having a too-sharp lord."

Mitsuhide: "I suppose you're right."

Kyubei: "I apologize. I spoke out of turn."

Mitsuhide: "I'm counting on you, Kyubei."

Mitsuhide: "Once everything is over, please deliver my will to Mai."

Kyubei: "........."

Kyubei bowed deeply in silence before leaving.

Eventually, Mitsuhide picked up his brush and wrote, bleeding his true feelings onto the paper.

Mai. As I write this, I am once again reminded of your strength in being able to express your true feelings so honestly.

I've learned from you that such honesty is not something easily done.

The other day, I overheard you telling Masamune that you would leave Azuchi, so I took the liberty of examining that historical book you kept hidden while you were away.

I'm sure, by now, you've realized that I've figured out your secret.

Mai, I have no hesitation. No regrets.

The only thing I regret is that you aren't by my side.

I love you and the world you live in more than anything.

If I could, I would've lived alongside you.

A few hours later.

Mitsuhide: "Well then, everyone. Do you have no regrets?"

The soldiers at the front of the army roared in response.

Mitsuhide: "We're launching a full-scale attack on the Oda forces, so make your mark on history in this battle."

Mitsuhide: "Now, to battle!"

🦊 Previous Part 💔 Tragic Ending

[formosusiniquis]

never anything but sharing

For @genderthings Robin Gender Week Day 1: Sharing Pronouns

T | WC: 2123 | Genderqueer Robin (and also Steve) | Gender Identity; Fluff and Humor; Period Typical Discussion of Gender | AO3

The door of the Harrington house is unlocked when Robin storms through it. The only danger it would have any hope of delaying is seven unruly and unthankful children; today especially Robin appreciates that Steve has stopped making that effort. It makes it a lot easier to storm in and pull him off the couch by the hair and drag him into the nearest bathroom.

“Ow, Robin! The part is in the mail, the truck will be running by Sunday. Ow!” He doesn’t stop complaining until she has them in her favorite full-sized bathroom with the ugly tile and jacuzzi tub.

 He’s Steve, Robin’s Steve, so he doesn’t glare so much as pout as he runs a hand through his mussed-up hair, pretending that he’s tender-headed even though he knows Robin knows better. “You’re worse than Henderson, you had to bike to work one day.”

“First of all, don’t ever say that to me. But do you think I dragged you in here to talk about our truck, this is serious.”

He crosses his arms in that way that tries for bitchy but these days lands closer to fondly disgruntled. Parental, maternal, in that way that suits Steve. “Okay well seriously start talking then. I think you ripped out a clump.”

Robin takes in a breath, using the exhale to force out the thing that had worried itself in there like a burr at 11:57 that Saturday afternoon. “Someone called me sir at work.”

Robin can feel the slow track of Steve’s eyes as they take in the outfit. The wide-shouldered blazer and the pants in a different but complementary plaid pattern. Underneath is a t-shirt and, with the biking, Chuck Taylors had been a must though the thrifted, wingtip, dress shoes had called out from the closet begging to be worn instead.

“How do we feel about that?”

Always we. Steve hadn’t even been there and it’s a them problem, it’s easier to think in terms of them and we.

“She wasn’t looking at me from the front,” Robin says. That feels important to stress for some reason. Do they look like a sir from the front? Probably not, and Robin isn’t sure what the emotion that’s sitting below the breastbone at the thought of that is. 

“I was reshelving in Romance and she came up behind me and was all…” Trailing off all Robin can do is gesture, flapping hands leading away from a body that has become a source of confusion.

Arms still crossed, lazily now, relaxed. Cool and lean in the way Steve can be but only when the effort is accidental. He nods. “Oh, that makes more sense.”

“What does that mean?”

Steve’s hands on their shoulders, Robin is turned toward the mirror with Steve just behind in a blink. “From the back you have the same haircut as Byers.”

“You take that back right now.” Robin watches as their mouth moves in the mirror.

“It’s better, cause you steal my product. But when you don’t let me style it, it can get a little Byers-y.”

They’re in the ugly bathroom with the seafoam green tiles that have the print that makes no sense for a bathroom but Robin loves. That’s the only reason the counter beneath their fingers is bare. That it doesn’t have the accusing army of mousse and hairspray that has been slowly infiltrating the Buckley house.

“So you’re saying since I have a Byers-y haircut-”

“Not the whole haircut, just from the back and just sometimes.”

“That’s the only reason I’d be called sir.”

Steve slouches against the wall by the mirror. There’s a careful nothingness to the way he’s looking at them that means he saw something Robin didn’t mean to show. That he heard something in the forced sarcstic lilt in her voice.

“Do you want to be called sir?” The forced casualness extends to the question.

It makes Robin feel hysterical. Get prescribed a visit to the seaside, the real remedy is a good vibrator hysterical. “I’m a lesbian, Steve. That’s- I’ve always been a lesbian, it’s the one thing- So I can’t be a sir or a he-”

“Why not?”

The guidance-counselor-calm is infuriating, even as they make that mental note to add that to the list of things Steve could be good at if he wanted a traditional job. Robin could teach music, band, they wouldn't be broken up.

“Because..? Because it’s too much, isn’t it?”

He cocks his head to the side, circling Robin and their problem carefully.

“It’s not all the time, right? We’ll share.”

“What?”

“We’ll share.” Steve repeats, moving now to settle into the massive jacuzzi tub. Lounging for real in its dry basin now that, in their mind, the problem has been solved

“I don’t think that’s how it works.” Robin has to be careful in refusing. The two of them don't disagree. Trying to do it now tastes like ash on the tongue. Bitter and wrong.

“Why not?” Steve challenges. Brow raised in a way that hints at something bitchy like the girls at the last slumber party she’d been invited to, before she was too weird, right before someone got the dare that they’d asked for.

“That’s my shirt you’re wearing and you stole my favorite jeans last week. You’ll borrow my he and I’ll take your she and it’ll be fine.”

“Those aren’t the same thing, that’s not those words mean something.” Robin pleads. Begs Steve to be rational because Robin can’t be. Biked the five miles here faster than anyone ever has. Broke landspeed records and possibly the sound barrier powered by the feelings caused by a single word.

“Yeah, I know.” Steve says gently. But it’s Steve and gentle gives way to a catty eye roll and, “I saw that kangaroo song as a kid too, he will mean Robin sometimes and she can mean Steve and other times it’s the otherway around. It’s fine, Robbie.”

It’s Steve, Robin has to remember. Always remembers because Steve is something they are as aware of as their arm or leg or spleen. Intrinsic.

Steve would burn Hawkins to the ground for them: Robin, The Party, anyone close enough to be family.

What then would it be to him? To claim Robin’s errant she. He is Steve Harrrington. Hawkin’s perfect son. The Keg King, the reformed prep. Perfect in his John Hughes-ian glory. Everything a perfect corn-fed, Midwestern boy should be.

“But it has to mean something, you can’t just say that we’ll share because you want me to feel better.”

“When have I ever lied to make you feel better? I just told you when you don’t do anything with your hair it looks like Jonathan’s.”

“Yeah, and you’re the kind of freak who understands what Nancy sees in him.”

“And it isn’t his hair. Our whole friendship is based on saying what we really think, even when it’s annoying.”

“I thought it was based on you inability to resist doing your Miss Piggy impression.”

“Robin.” The stone seriousness of it drops Robin to their knees in front of the tub. Close enough to Steve that big hands can cup their face. “I love you. This is your moment, so you'll just have to believe me when I say it's fine.”

“It's fine.” Robin repeats.

“We’ll share.” Steve says.

“We’ll share.”

“You're a sir.” she says.

“I’m a he.” Robin says, “Today. Today I'm a he.”

“How does that feel?” She asks him.

“Good? Good. Oh my god Steve I don’t know how to be a he. This isn’t stealing your red sweater-”

She shrieks, “I knew you had my sweater!”

But it isn't going to distract him from the bigger picture. “I can’t just slip into your guy thing like it’s your clothes, you know that was the point.”

Arms crossed, she pouts, “The point sounds like you’ve been stealing my clothes.”

“Steve!”

“You don’t have to be anything to prove that you are something. Sometimes you’re a he, you don’t have to know how to shotgun a beer or something to prove it. I will show you the right way to do a keg stand, that’s a point of pride. And you should know how to fix up the truck, change a tire, to help you pick up babes.”

It's not the worst point ever made. Probably because some of it -- the first part, not the part about car maintenance as a tool of seduction though that has its merits too he supposes and it has a butch quality that is appealing -- is familiar.

“I hate when you quote me at me.”

“When did you tell me you were going to teach me to change a tire?”

“You know what I mean, dingus.”

“You’re the smartest person I know,” Steve says through her smile, “how else am I supposed to give you advice?”

“I love you.” Its the truest truth Robin can come up with at the moment. So true it's an understatement. Love too simple a word for what he feels right now and about Steve.

“I love you too.” She says back, and Robin knows its the same kind of feeling. “And you’ll love me even more when I teach you how to scale a trellis.”

“Why would I need to scale anything, why can’t I just go in the door?”

“It doesn’t have the same Prince Charming feeling. Girls love that stuff.”

“How many times have you fallen off the side of someone’s house?”

“Not as many times as you’re going to, Vickie’s house is laid out like a nightmare.”

He settles into the tub next to Steve. The oversized jacuzzi a tight fit for both of their bodies, but Steve lets him settle into her side like she doesn’t care that the faucet is digging into her shoulder. In sync, Steve lifts her head up enough that Robin can rest his in the space where shoulder and neck meet. The sound of Steve’s heartbeat in his ear gives his a steady rhythm to settle into after the flustered panic it had worked its way up to. Share, they can share.

Some things they can share.

He sits up enough to look Steve in the eye, a half-hearted glare that she wouldn’t buy for a second on his face. “Why have you been scoping out Vickie's house?”

“For you, obviously.” She says, rolling her eyes just like Robin had imagined. “I had to figure out the best point of entry.”

“It's not a siege.”

“It's breaking and entering, and it's embarrassing when someone catches you and it doesn't look cool. Trust me.”

“Some more expertise that you're sharing?”

“I'll share anything with you, Bobbin.”

He hears what's underneath that promise. Their bond forged in chaos, in danger, in blood, in fear. But it was honed in moments like these: honest, sincere, still frightened sometimes but touched by love and laughter.

“Even your green henley?”

He hopes she hears how he knows that Steve would do or give anything for him. His shirt, his time, his bathroom, his life. 

Whatever life may mean at that time. The actual thing, defending and protecting them all from whatever the next great evil is, or the more metaphorical life, marriage and it's safety net that they’ve discussed.

“Even all my best clothes when you have nothing in your closet you could possibly share too.”

“Welcome to the time honored tradition of girlhood, the friend that’s borrowing clothes from you is doing it for a reason. I’ll teach you how dress sizes work next time we’re at the thrift store.”

“Yeah okay, but who’s going to teach you that?”

She’s smiling as she says it, and the tub is too small a space for them to get a good fight started. Grief, the teasing kind, something they’ve always been good at sharing. So he takes his lumps and settles back down into the cradle of the tub and Steve’s arms that he moves elbows first. Let’s them share how unappreciated that dig might have been, the truth in it neither here nor there. 

They’ll lay here for a little bit longer, letting the moment settle. Sharing their space, their time, their breath, and probably the gossip from his day at Family Video without Steve. When the time is right, they’ll leave the bathroom and share a meal, maybe the couch or the bed. It’s just what’s right, like Steve so often is. What’s a pronoun or two among all of that.

“I know how to find a dress that fits. Just like I know that the kangaroo song is about pronouns. How do you remember a cartoon from when we were kids but not the thing they were singing about?”

[b1asho]

Erm, oc comic? Just click on the images idk how to change the image position formatting here yet :(

This is what I've been doing all this time, I need to practice putting these things together. I like some things and had fun, but it also looks kind of yucky.

Oh well

Featured here are Rinshi, a muttreazik, and their boss/sister Maro, a Sundyne who's been (violently) ousted from her extremely politically important clan (for terrorism and attempted assassination :D )

The two are hiding from authorities in the SEZ, and not having a great time in general.

Here's a buncha other info, aka i want to talk about my wretched ocs :

-Rinshi is a mancer, meaning they're a muttreazik with a degree of control over matter around them (think telekinesis). Their blue eyes aren't the result of my choice of coloring, thats the color they are all the time (a highly highly unusual color for muttreazik, even in the 'other' color category).

Rinshi is also a 'they' in the same way you'd call an animal an 'it' rather than a 'he' or 'she' if that makes sense. They don't think of themself as nonbibary in the human sense, instead it's more of an "outside of the binary and therefore a nonperson" way that Cerest use for xenos. It's the only option that's not male/female/he/she that they're aware of in this point in their life

Maro is a she (and VERY upset that it means she can't ascend to God emperor)

Rinshi is hunting with a nail that they’re controlling with their mind because that’s a lot easier than chasing down the alien rats yourself.

Normally this would be very easy for them but they’re kind of going through it right now, thus the major space-out and eye-bleed at the end (which normally happens to mancers who either overextend themselves or try to do stuff without any energy support from the body)

Not all Cerest-homeplanet animals have a decentralized nervous system like Cerest themselves do (such as these two animals, who have all their thinking meat in their head), but either way a shard of metal through the face isn’t good for anything

There are pockets of Cerest wildlife in the SEZ if you look for them hard enough, which Rinshi has to do because they’re currently in the outer reaches of it away from any inhabited districts where you could just buy/steal meat products. They're spending a considerable amount of time doing this since they're trying to keep a large hypercarnivore alive right now.

Maro got her face and torso cut up pretty bad during her.uh. Incident. Luckily Cerest heal fast, though infection and only eating rats has complicated and prolonged things. They’re currently living in an old habitat pod, which she can hardly leave thanks to the healing process (which has left her pretty much unable to walk. If she could, she'd definitely be the one doing the hunting because she has fewer qualms about killing things than rinshi does.)

This conversation is pretty out of character for her, but like she said, it's boring spending most of your time asleep in a garbage heap rather than pursuing your ambitions of ruling the world. Thankfully, she can always just ask her trusty retainer about things they don’t want to talk about.

‘et kerusit’ is just the Cerest version of like ‘my liege’ but specifically in the Sundyne female context and specifically for someone in Maro’s (former) rank/position in her (former) clan. "Princess" is also a pretty close analog but neither really sounded right so I made up some words. "Retainer” is the closest word I could find for what Rinshi is to Maro, and it fits fairly well (there is probably a better word out there but i like the old-timey knight vibe) they were originally employed to her clan as basically her little assistant and mandatory friend/bodygaurd/ally/etc. This happened mostly as an insult to her because that role should normally fall to a fellow sundyne and not a 'lesser species', but she has made it work.

I'm still testing this out but the Cerest language conventions are also why the question marks are out front most of the time, they don't change tone to indicate a question and instead just say an "I'm asking you a question" word at the start.

Rinshi also has a sort of stutter no matter what language they're speaking, with different words and sounds causing prolongations or repetitions. They didn't have any kind of support for the issue growing up, so theyre not great at managing it. So that's why some of their words are like that

The aforementioned rank difference is also why Maro gets 2 << instead of 1 when speaking (she's using a different enunciation of words to indicate her status, as is Rinshi. Basically ï for royalty i for commoner, or something. If they were speaking a Drecu dialect rather than a Sundyne one, their words would be in these things -> [[ ) .

As I’ve mentioned up there, they see each other more like siblings in their own mini clan (but she definitely calls the shots in their relationship )

Muttreazik think rebirth is real and they’re kind of right (at least within their own species). Rinshi does NOT want to dwell on where they used to live but those ideas were drilled in at a very young age.

[desiree-uk]

A vegetarian foody naming alternative mod by Spork!

Spork mod notes:

Ever since Showtime, The Sims 3 has allowed any Sim, regardless of their own traits, to learn and prepare the vegetarian versions of most of the meat dishes in the game. This is, of course, very useful for the friends and loved ones of vegetarian Sims, who have ever since been able to cook for their buddies and fully include them in parties and family meals! However, it also calls to the forefront how much of an afterthought the vegetarian meals must have been when they were added to the game -- every Sim now has recipe menu full of very similar pairs of meals, featuring oxymoronic options like "vegetarian fish". (You might assume, as is probably the intention, that that means "a vegetarian imitation of fish", but that characterizes these recipes as specialized substitutions -- the implication that you're having it because you're not having real fish -- which makes it somewhat odd that every meat-eating sim knows so many of them.) Now, I'm pretty sure there are ways to hide the extra meals (with NRaas, maybe?), but I didn't want that, because I do appreciate giving my Sims the option to cook vegetarian dishes where applicable, and to have more variety in their lives in general. I thought it would be a significant improvement if only the names of the vegetarian dishes were changed to make them more interesting and relevant. So! I learned how to make a string table mod so I could do that!

What This Mod Does This mod replaces the names of most of the vegetarian alternative dishes in the game to make them describe what each meal actually might be (based on research I did into common vegetarian substitutes for and variants of the original recipes), rather than what it's an imitation of. This makes them more distinct from the meat versions, which also gives an implicit reason why a meat-eating Sim might want to learn and prepare most of these dishes whether or not there are any vegetarians around. It also changes the name of one canon meat dish, Spaghetti, to Spaghetti and Meatballs, in order to make it more clearly a meat dish and distinguish it better from the vegetarian version. The changes I made are as follows:

Vegetarian Fish and Chips -> Batter-Fried Tofu Fillets and Chips

Veggi Rolls -> Mushroom and Avocado Rolls

Spaghetti -> Spaghetti and Meatballs

Spaghetti with Veggie Sauce -> Spaghetti with Tomato Sauce

Cheese Tofu Steak -> Cheesy Mushroom Melt

Vegetarian Grilled Salmon -> Grilled Eggplant Fillets

Tri-Tip Tofu Steak -> Grilled Portobello Mushrooms in Steak Sauce (I wanted "anchovy-free Worcestershire sauce" but it was too long already -- so imagine whatever type of steak sauce you prefer)

Vegetarian Dim Sum -> Vegetable Dumplings and Tofu Puffs

Stuffed Tursoykey -> Seitan Holiday Roast

Vegetarian Lobster Thermador [sic] -> Heart of Palm in Thermidor Sauce

Vegetarian Chili -> Four-Bean Chili

Tofu Dog -> Veggie Dogs (This admittedly goes against my general goal of making the recipes more descriptive, but this was by far the most common name for any example I could find of the type of food in question, whereas I couldn't find "tofu dog" in any context. Besides, it makes sense for such a processed food to be a little more vague about the ingredients.)

I left "Veggie Burger" and "Firecracker Tofu" alone, as veggie burgers are already common and well-known, and "firecracker tofu" is already evocative and descriptive.

My mod also corrects a couple of proofreading errors in the original vegetarian recipes. I fixed the spelling of "Thermidor" in "Heart of Palm in Thermidor Sauce", and made "Veggie Dogs" plural to match "Hot Dogs".

You'll see these changes in every context I could find where the game displayed the original names, including the names of the dishes themselves, the titles of the recipe books, and miscellaneous strings such as the dialogue you get when a vegetarian Sim refuses a challenge to a hot dog eating contest.

What This Mod Does Not Do This is not an ingredients mod -- the vast majority of the vegetarian substitute recipes use tofu as their primary or only ingredient, and I found that it was a tall order to make the recipes descriptive, distinct, and realistic if I limited myself to the same ingredient for everything. With that in mind, I allowed myself to choose names that don't necessarily match the in-game recipe. The result, though, is that a Sim will need to use tofu in order to make a cheesy mushroom sandwich or a grilled eggplant dish, even though that might not make too much sense. This isn't a problem for me, as I usually just pay for each meal at the fridge, so ingredients don't come into play much, but I can see how it might be annoying or confusing if your play style features ingredients more heavily, so it's something to note! (Something I've thought about, and could still do if anyone is interested, is make a little add-on package to rename "tofu" to something like "vegetable protein" to make it more broadly applicable, although I don't know whether most people would consider this better or worse.)

This mod also does not change the meshes or textures of any of the dishes, so they will also still look like the equivalent meat dish. I tried to describe each dish in a way consistent with its appearance, but there are limitations to this. There's no reason for your fancy heart of palm recipe to be in a fake lobster shell unless it is pretending to be lobster -- so some of these will still visually read as obvious imitations of the equivalent meat dish. I can only hope that I've presented them as interesting, meaningful imitations that will still appeal to your Sims in their own right!

Issues, Interactions and Other Mods This mod renames recipes from the base game, Showtime, and Supernatural, but it shouldn't be necessary to have either or both of the expansions -- the recipes from packs you're missing just won't show up in the game, so you won't see the renames.

Some of the recipe names in this mod are a little longer than the official ones in the game, which can cause some minor overlapping when a dish is spoiled, as seen below. In my testing, this never caused text to be fully covered or to become illegible, but I can't guarantee that to still be the case if you're using UI mods that change fonts or other formatting.

This mod replaces the English-language strings for the names of the dishes I changed and their recipe skill books, the dialogue for a vegetarian Sim refusing a hot dog eating contest, the level-up text for a vegetarian sim reaching level four in cooking, and the description of the wish for a pregnant sim to eat spaghetti and ice cream, and may conflict with any other mods that replace these strings. I'm not aware of any, but an example would be if you have a mod to correct the spelling of "Vegetarian Lobster Thermador" (which you won't need anymore, since "thermidor" is spelled correctly in my mod.)

(When I was making this mod, I also noticed strings in the game files that appeared to be for vegetarian versions of the World Adventures meat recipes. I updated them just in case they might appear in the game somewhere, but throughout my testing I was unable to find anywhere where these strings appeared in the game. I left the replacements in the mod anyway, in case they might be associated with content some other mod might unlock in the future or some similar edge case.)

Thank you for your interest and I hope you enjoy the mod!

Download from Mod The Sims!

[avayarising]

Bruce’s first death: the Death Cheaters

(Part of the Batfam Death Project)

Batman 1:72, 1952

Bruce’s first death happens all the way back in 1952, when Dick is probably somewhere around twelve to thirteen. Some other people who have died (flatlined) and come back to life have started a club, but now the members of this club have started being killed off! Bruce’s solution? Poison himself and then get resuscitated so he can join the club and investigate the murders from the inside!

Because of course that’s a proportionate response.

Poor Dick is the one who has to perform CPR on Bruce. (If he hadn’t been a trained vigilante and acrobat he probably would not have had the upper body strength for it. That doctor certainly doesn’t look as if he does.)

And Dick is absolutely terrified. Look at his little face! He could lose another parent here. He blames himself for ‘letting’ Bruce do this in the first place, as if he could have stopped him. And it’s clear he carries on the CPR long after the doctor had given up.

And he’s so relieved and exhausted when Bruce starts breathing again he nearly faints.

How could you do this to him, Bruce? To Dick, who is already traumatised by the loss of his first parents?

Bruce, by contrast, is fully confident this will work. He never has a moment’s doubt. I really don’t think he realises how much stress he’s putting Dick under. (Nor I think does Dick tell him how afraid he is, but then he really shouldn’t have to!)

Much much later, in Batman 2:39 (2015) Bruce is thinking about his own mortality and his lack of belief in it.

He has deliberately trained himself not to believe in his own mortality, and he did that first, before any of his other training. Which explains how he can poison himself to death so blithely and confidently assume that he will come back. And he has completely forgotten that even if he doesn’t believe in his own death, Dick has no such mental construction.

Yikes.

Now to be fair this is the New 52 when everyone’s backstories have changed. In actual comic time when Dick was Robin I’ve so far only been able to find one other actual death by the terms defined for this project (Batman: The Brave and the Bold 1:115, 1974), though there have been several more fake deaths and near deaths.

But that still means there is some world where Dick, whose parents died suddenly and violently in front of him, had to live with his new parent dying in front of him often enough that he could joke that it happened every weekend.

This is obviously a coping mechanism on Dick’s part – you can tell because he doesn’t mention anyone he might actually like to hear from, like his parents. It looks like Bruce still has no idea how hard it is on Dick.

But I do find it very interesting that a storyline written in 2015, in the New 52, makes characterisation sense of a story written in 1952.

The Batfam Death Project Masterpost