#do you want me to be independent or do you want to control me? fuck off
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GIRL I GOT ANOTHER IDEA SO EXCUSE ME😝
SO u come back from work super tired from a really hard day and have no energy to take ur makeup off so sukuna offers to do it for u and LET ME TELL YOU this man does not know how to do anything without being aggressive 🙄(typical) so hes drowning the cotton pad in makeup remover and starts aggressively rubbing on ur face purposely just to make u laugh and ur giggling and laughing and slapping his chest telling him to stop cause he’s getting the remover in ur eye and he has no idea what he’s doing THEN ITS ENDS UP BEING ALL KISSY AND STUFF ANYWAY BYE❤️❤️❤️🩷
-Anon🥢
IM GOING TO- *combusts*
———
The way you haphazardly toss your keys on the table, only for them to slip and fall off is exactly the last thing you need.
After today, where one step forward was three back, where nothing went right and nothing was easy, the sight of your keys on the floor has your body tensing in annoyance and shrills of angst down your spine.
You let out a shaky sigh, “I’m home!”
No reply. Your hands ball into fists, “I SAID IM HOME!”
“DAMN I heard you, gimme three seconds!” A gruff voice calls back. You can’t fight the smirk that wants to spread on your tired features, and your hands come up to rub your exhausted eyes. Loud footsteps come down the hall and you drop your hands to blink at him. He snorts, “raccoon looking ass.”
“Oh. Right. I was wearing mascara.”
“It’s fine, not like you’ve got to impress me anyways,” he says, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pressing a kiss to your forehead, “how was your day?”
“Terrible,” you whine. You angle your head to look up at him, “can’t I just be your pretty girlfriend and you provide for me?”
He snickers, “I offered, you told me that if you didn’t have independence you’d smother me with a pillow. So no. You can’t.” You groan and bury your face in his chest, and he clicks his tongue, “I can take care of you now, though. If you beg prettily enough.”
“You’re going to make your overworked, burnt out, exhausted future wife beg for your attention?”
“No. I’m going to make her beg to be babied.”
You paw at his chest, fingers fisting the collar of his shirt, “please, sukuna, take care of me for a bit. I’m so tired, and you know how much I already hate asking for your help, but I need you. Please, I just want to be loved for a bit.”
He grins and presses a kiss to your forehead, “that’s more like it. C’mon-“ he bends down to hook his massive hands under your thighs, hoisting you up to wrap your legs around his waist. You giggle and instinctively tighten your arms around his shoulders, “let’s get your clown makeup off.”
“‘S not clown makeup,” you pout, playing with the hair of his buzz cut. “Tell me I’m pretty.”
“Dawg.”
“Please?” You mewl, pulling back to look down at him, and he rolls his eyes and nudges the bathroom door open with his knee.
“Fuck, you’re really in a headspace huh?” He says, plopping you on the counter. He braces himself on either side of your legs, and he looks you up and down. “Of course you’re beautiful, baby. Taking a lot of control to not smother you right now. Especially with you all pliant, fuck you’re so pretty. Let me take care of you, yeah? Let me make ya feel better.”
“Okay,” you hum. He leans up to press a kiss to your lips before opening the drawer for a cotton square he knows he’s seen you use before. Then, he reaches just behind you to the small shelf, and grabs your makeup remover. “You know what you’re doing?” You ask.
“Babe, I’ve seen you do this more times than I care to count,” he scoffs. “Trust me. I know far too much about what I’m doing.” He pops off the cap and absolutely drenches the poor cotton in an overwhelming amount of makeup remover. He starts to bring it to your eyes, and you laugh and duck away.
“Baby, that’s too much!”
“More makeup remover, more makeup removed,” he says, and while his logic is wrong, you do giggle at the idea he’s trying to help, and while it’s amusing, you don’t want to lose this domesticity with him either.
So, you close your eyes and laugh more as he applies the wet cotton round to your eyes, pressing hard enough the juices spill over your cheeks. “Sukuna!” You titter.
“You want this done or not?” He asks, smearing the cotton around your eye and cheek to try and swipe off any makeup clinging to you. He’s rough with his wiping, pulling your eyes and making your cheeks hot from friction, and you swat at his hands to try and make some relief. “Okay, now you’re hindering.”
“It burns,” you confess, but you’re still laughing.
You practically feel the air go from goofy to panic, “what burns, what do you mean it burns, why does it burn, it doesn’t burn when you do it right?”
“Chill, you big baby,” you snort. “It’s in my eye because you used all 200% of your strength on my damn socket. Just get me a wet cloth, it’ll be fine.”
You watch him fling open the closet door and grab a small washcloth, dampening it with water before passing it to you. He clicks his tongue, “for reference, this is why I never offer to help you.”
“Because you use your brute strength and power to battle the very-easily-removable-mascara from my eyes?”
“Exactly.”
You smile up at him while he tosses the cotton round in the trash, only to then scowl down at you when he meets your gaze. “The fuck’re you looking at?”
“My boyfriend, who loves me,” you coo, and he rolls his eyes and presses a kiss to your lips, which you happily reciprocate.
“He smeared makeup all over your face,” he snickers. “You look rough.”
“That’s okay,” you shrug. “He tried his best.”
“Ew.”
#☹️☹️☹️ m pookie#sukuna#sukuna fluff#sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader fluff#sukuna x f!reader#sukuna imagine#sukuna jjk#sukuna ryomen#sukuna ryomen fluff#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna ryomen x reader fluff#sukuna ryomen x f!reader#sukuna ryomen imagine#sukuna ryomen jjk#jjk#jjk fluff#jjk x reader#jjk x reader fluff#jjk imagine#jjk x f!reader#jjk x female reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk x yn
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first of all, fuck you anon.
the whole "Radha wasn't groomed because she’s smart" argument is so incredibly stupid (I had no idea people THIS stupid even existed) and honestly, insulting not only to her character but to victim of grooming in general. just because someone is strong, smart, or independent doesn’t mean they are immune to manipulation, and to suggest otherwise is to completely misunderstand what grooming actually entails. do you know what grooming is? or did you just read some age gap dark booktok novel and think you know everything? you think because Radha is educated and knows how to lead, she’s impervious to manipulation? newsflash: that’s not how it works and to suggest otherwise is so foolish and fucking insulting. I hope you never meet a victim of grooming in real life, I pray for that — and I’m an atheist.
just because Radha’s mother, Vidya, taught her to be strong and aware of manipulation it doesn’t magically shield her from every predator who might come along. let me ask you this: do you think every smart, powerful woman is automatically immune to the nuanced, long-term manipulation that comes with grooming? do you think having a strong brain is all it takes? you will never get hurt? ever? spoiler alert: this is not about being naive, or stupid — it’s about power dynamics. age differences, control, and subtle psychological manipulation don’t always look like someone forcing you into a corner or brainwashing you into doing something. sometimes, it’s all about slowly wearing someone down and making them think they’re in control, even when they aren’t. according to psychologist Dr. Jennifer Freyd’s research on betrayal trauma, individuals who experience manipulation and betrayal, especially in close relationships, often suffer from a delayed recognition of the abuse. why? because the trauma is internalized so deeply that it takes time for the victim to even acknowledge they’ve been manipulated. mind you anon, I’m smart. I’m studying psychology. I can speak 5 languages. guess what? I was abused and manipulated. do I not exist in your world? am I not a victim? no seriously, do enlighten me.
the entire premise of grooming is that the victim doesn’t always realize it’s happening until it’s too late. and yes, Radha may have been aware of men using their power in the past, but this was a different kind of manipulation. Raj was clever enough to exploit the very things she thought were keeping her protected. and let’s not pretend the age difference doesn’t matter just because they both feel something. Raj is 30 and Radha is 18. no one is raising alarms?? so you want to tell me that a 30-year-old man, no matter how charming or appealing, is on equal footing with an 18-year-old girl trying to make her way in a world that already doesn’t want her to succeed? REALLY? do you even go to school, genuinely? like OH MY GOD. let’s make one thing clear: an 18-year-old has nowhere near the life experience or emotional maturity of a 30-year-old man, and that's exactly what makes this relationship so problematic.
at 30, Raj has had years of life experience, training, and wisdom (though apparently he’s not smart enough to realize what he’s doing is wrong). he’s been through the emotional ups and downs of adulthood, taught by the best, navigating the world who sucks his dick for simply being a man and having power, he’s most likely been through a bunch of relationships, and experienced different power structures in ways Radha—at just 18— simply hasn’t. he knows how the world works. he knows how to manipulate situations, how to get what he wants, and how to pull on someone’s heartstrings to make them believe they’re in control. no matter how strong or intelligent Radha is, she doesn’t have the same years of experience to see the emotional manipulation at play.
when you’re 18, and a man like Raj tells you he loves you, you believe it. why wouldn’t you? you haven’t been hardened by the disappointments and betrayals that come with adult relationships. at 18, love feels intense, all-consuming, and real—and it’s easy to mistake that intensity for something pure and meaningful. you WANT to believe it. you want to believe this man loves you for who you are. Radha, at 18, is still figuring out who she is. she’s in the middle of a MASSIVE transition: she’s learning how to step into leadership, abandoning childhood and entering adulthood, and figuring out how to exist in a world that already doesn’t give her the respect she deserves because she’s a woman (look at how people treat Devi despite being the heir). she is still trying to understand her own power, her own worth.
and here comes Raj, a man with years of experience, presenting himself as her lover, her confidante, and possibly her protector, feeding her the narrative she wants to hear. he knows exactly what to say to reel her in. he knows how to appeal to her vulnerabilities, how to use his experience to make her feel seen, heard, and loved in ways no one else has made her feel. and she, in her youthful exuberance and inexperience, believes every word of it. why? because she’s still learning what love should look like. for fuck’s sake I AM 18 TOO and guess what? I too am more likely to want to believe that someone older and wiser is acting in my best interest.
so anon, don’t sit there and pretend like this is some simple, equal partnership. the psychological power imbalance (hope this isn’t too complicated for your tiny brain) in this relationship is massive, and Raj knows exactly what he’s doing.
what you’re glossing over is the fact that Amrita’s fiancé is not some passive character in this scenario— he's a grown-ass man with agency. Raj is not some idk fucking helpless puppy who couldn’t help himself from falling for Radha. he’s an adult who made an active decision to continue a relationship with Radha while also being engaged to Amrita. you’re blaming Radha (18-23) for being involved with a man (30-35) who willingly pursued her and continued to do so despite being in a committed relationship. that’s on Raj. not Radha.
now, let’s talk about the so-called “friendship betrayal.” first of all, it’s never implied they’re close friends. just because you grew up around someone, it doesn’t make you close friends. this idea that Radha is some villain for having a relationship with Amrita’s fiancé is completely ignoring the bigger picture: Raj is the one who betrayed Amrita’s trust, not Radha. he is the one who made a COMMITMENT. the real question is: why is Raj still pursuing Radha while already committed to someone else? but hey, let’s just blame the teenage girl in the relationship and pretend Raj was a passive bystander who couldn’t possibly help himself, right? let’s blame the other woman! THE TEENAGER.
also, imo Radha’s decisions cannot be analyzed through a modern, 21st-century lens. she wasn’t in a position of true equality, free to make choices without external pressures. the fact that Radha is being criticized for a relationship with Raj, who is a much older man, completely disregards the power dynamics of their time. you think Indian women have it easy? the concept of a woman having autonomy over her body, her emotions, or even her relationships wasn’t something widely accepted back then, and still isn’t! (I’m desi, don’t try to argue).
AND. Oh. My. God. are you seriously going to sit here and say that making Radha a victim of grooming somehow makes her a “boring” character? that is the most tone-deaf, reductionist thing I’ve heard all year. congratulations, you won this.
-> so, what, the moment someone experiences harm or exploitation, we should just discard their emotional arc because it doesn’t fit some heroic, flawless narrative? that’s not how human beings work. just because a character experiences something painful or difficult doesn’t make them any less interesting. in fact, it makes them more multidimensional, because we’re seeing how they respond to those situations, how they grow from them, or sometimes how they struggle with them. Radha being a victim of grooming doesn’t flatten her—it makes her MORE interesting because we’re watching her navigate a complicated, manipulative relationship where she’s being used by someone more experienced and powerful and by the end of it, she even gets pregnant and WILL BE FORCED TO SLEEP WITH DEVI’S UNCLE.
the argument you’re making is essentially saying that only perfect, unscathed characters are worth caring about. that’s simply ridiculous. being a victim of grooming doesn’t make Radha “flat”. YOU are reducing her to some simplistic trope of the “innocent woman who doesn’t know better” and missing the point that her journey is about finding out what’s been done to her and coming to terms with how to reclaim her agency. THAT is the heart of character development. if Radha’s journey were simply about being a perfect, flawless leader without any emotional depth or complexity, that would make her boring.
and honestly, the fact that someone would even DARE to suggest that a character’s experiences of trauma or manipulation somehow reduce their value or depth shows an actual shocking lack of empathy. my bad for thinking you guys have a heart.
also back to “Radha is too smart to be groomed” // cults are an obvious example here — people in their 30s, 40s, and even older have been lured into these toxic environments and guess what? those people are often not some naive, uneducated “fools” but highly educated, well-established adults. I mean look at the many documented cases of people far older than Radha who have fallen victim to manipulative tactics. there are countless stories of educated, rich, established successful adults being groomed by people who know exactly how to prey on their weaknesses. manipulators don’t just target “dummies.” they target people who are seeking connection, people who are vulnerable to flattery, or people who have been conditioned to doubt their own worth or instincts. manipulation doesn’t care about your age or your IQ.
when we (and with we, I mean cunts like you) dismiss victims' stories based on ignorant assumptions—whether it's about their intelligence, age, or any other arbitrary factor—we're doing the predators' work for them. we are telling victims that their pain doesn’t matter, that their reality is somehow invalid, that they must have deserved it, or that they’re too smart to be manipulated.
so no, Radha isn't 'too smart' to be manipulated, just like no one else is 'immune' based on their age or intellect. you don’t need to be an idiot to be preyed upon. you just need to be human. so, before you throw around judgment, maybe take a minute to think about what you’re really saying about the victims of manipulation—because, honestly, the way you’re talking about Radha makes me wonder if you even understand what true strength looks like in the face of abuse or if you know what abuse even entails.
snippet from my wcs analysis
Okay so I saw the post about Radha, Raj, and Amrita and I want to say something about it but I am afraid to contradict some of the people because they seem a bit unreasonable and would attack you for your opinion. The also are insulting people who agree with it. So I am going to explain why that person said what they did or potentially why. This comes from somebody who is an avid reader I read visual novel games, fanfiction, and books I have 10 plus years of reading with critical thinking of details in stories and understanding of characters.
Okay let’s start with the whole Radha is groomed I am of the opinion that did not happen based on how the Basu family is described. You think Vidya, Doran, or Sara would allow Raj to live if any of them believed he manipulated and used Radha for his gain. Grooming victims are described as being naive easy to manipulate that is not Radha at all she is being taught how to become a leader in time when women in power were looked down upon. You think part of her education from Vidya wasn’t about being able to spot manipulations from men who would want to use her and manipulate her. You think Radha wouldn’t do anything to a man who thought he could use her as an example of why not to mess with her like what Sara did to Rati when Rati insulted Sara. To me to say that Radha is a victim of grooming by Raj is an insult to Radha and her intelligence and her capabilities of being a leader you are saying that when a good looking guy comes into the picture all of Radha’s training disappears. My interpretation of how this relationship started was that it happened when Devi was in Bombay which made Radha 18 when this relationship started I can’t find information on how old Raj is but the oldest I think he is is 30 which is not a great look but from the interaction that we see while they are at the mountain retreat is that Raj is trying to end their relationship because even though BOTH of them have feelings for one another it is not the time for their families bloodlines to unite Radha is the one who says no let’s continue this affair in secret because I am what you want and we should be together. In grooming relationships the groomer has all the power in this relationship it looks like equal partnership with them. Also we know that Sara and Radha believe that men are tools for their entertainment you think a women who think men are like animals for their amusement can be manipulated and controlled by one. You guys don’t think Sara wouldn’t kill Raj if he groomed and used Radha her twin Sara straight up killed someone to protect Radha’s secret which means that Sara knows that BOTH Radha and Raj went into this willingly together. I want everyone to know that in my opinion guys Vidya knows about Raj and Radha. When Vidya tells Raj you are practically like family to me she is saying that she knows Raj is the one who got her daughter pregnant and she is not happy at all. I believe that part of the reason there is tension between the Basus and Doobays is because Vidya knows about the affair and is mad at both Raj and Radha then that anger multiplies when Radha gets pregnant. I also believe the reason that Vidya is not passing the reins to Radha is because she knows about the affair with Raj and believes that Radha needs more training before she becomes leader of the dozen and the Basu family. Vidya loves her daughters and I get the impression that if anyone hurt or used her daughter she would kill them no matter what and I guarantee that Doran would be there to help Vidya.
Let us move on to another topic people who say that Radha owes Amrita nothing. You do remember that Amrita is/was friends with the Basu twins. Which means that Radha slept and had a relationship with a friend’s fiancé. I could never justify doing that to someone who was a friend to me. Also the reason that Amrita is not close to her friends is the fact she is engaged and is learning about her future role along with getting to know her future husband. I also don’t understand how Raj can get to know his fiancé as a person and continue seeing someone else. Raj has hurt Amrita she knows that Raj doesn’t love her and she will be trapped in an loveless marriage, but can you imagine the pain of knowing that someone who was friends with you was sleeping with your fiancé behind your back and your fiancé cares about them more than you. I also love Radha as a character but I can hate and be critical of her choices this is what makes her multi dimensional and a fascinating character making her a victim of grooming makes her more flat and not as interesting of an character. I also believe that everyone missed the point of what the poster of the post was saying Radha and Raj are BOTH to blame for this situation they both knew better but continued it and now there is fallout because of their actions. Radha and Raj both hold blame on this no one forced this relationship they both willingly went along with it. Raj being the older one who also wanted to stop his relationship with Radha should have stuck to his original intentions Raj is older and is already a leader he knew better then to continue the affair, but it doesn’t excuse Radha because when she became older and almost became the the official leader Radha knew better as well then to continue her affair with Raj. Amrita is truly the only one who has no blame in this and everyone loves to hate on her when in reality Amrita is a victim in this and is going to experience unbelievable pain and betrayal from this. Some people missed the point on the post both Radha and Raj deserve equal blame in all of this no one is saying Raj is an angel because he is not but not enough people point that out the fact that Radha is 23 when she gets pregnant she knows better then to continue this affair and face possible repercussions of her affair with Raj. People treat Radha like she was forced against her will to be in this relationship when she wasn’t at all Raj and Radha were equal partners in their relationship. Therefore the both hold equal blame for what happened. Radha is no angel and that is okay because no one is in this story is and that is what makes everything so interesting.
Well that's a big confession 🤯
Sorry but we cannot edit such a big confession, even if we try would be a mess ( fun fact: we did try and turn out to be 5 images 😬)
This is something to have in mind before sending a confession, the length of the confession shouldn't excess 100 words, thanks!
-mod lyn
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Highlights from my EU4 Austria game up to 1600s
#og post#eu4#pdx games#not in order but still funny#Had the worst RNG I didn't get any Personal Unions peacefully and had to fight wars to get Milan & Hungary & Bohemia & Brandenburg as PUs#Burgundy fully evaded my grasp and all of this got me so hated I got excommunicated and lost the election to Fucking Pfalz#I'm calling them the German name cuz it's more cringe then The Palatenate#(3 of the 7 electors are literally Theocracies what do you expect. Excommunication and the religious league wars were the end of me)#I got so pissed I switched to the Protestant side of the 30 year war and curbstomped Pfalz but only to sign the Treaty of Westphalia#Allowing me to gitch out and become an Easter Orthodox Christian member of the HRE (since it's peace between ALL Christians after all)#I can't even begin to explain how funny this is. Everyone picked sides based on me being Catholic!#When I switched sides all my allies were my enemies and all my enemies were my allies now.#Everyone lined up to kick my ass and I joined the queue. Then we beat up on some kid instead of me#Anyhow I also married into England without an heir and just... Got a Tudor as heir. The game pesters me to bring back the Habsburgs but no#It's better this way cause then I can try to take control over all the other Tudors (they hate me so that'd be hard)#England rebelled during my orthodox rebellion and so became an independent state seperate from Britian. Those are now two distrinct entitie#There's a England and there's a UK but they're nowhere near each other#And England wants to colonize overseas despit being landlocked. Like... No. Go back to paying me taxes!
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i usually avoid looking at kabs chat cause ngl i dont like it lol but i decided to engage just for today cause why not but good god theyre just as ableist as kab is
#liveblogging#watchblogging#vod: i have no idea whats happening | Lifesteal SMP ******#hes not a fucking child stop infantilizing him#''he wants to be independent but he cant get that on his own" FUCKING EXCIUSE ME????#sorry for doing nothing but complaining about ableism lately but this shit is genuinely so triggering to me#youve never had someone impose their will upon you in order to control you and mold you to how they want you to be without regard#for what you yourself want and it shows; it really really fucking shows
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forever fucking pissed at my parents for not trying to teach me how to drive. yeah i'm an adult now but fuck's sake why do i have to be the one always telling you to take me to practice driving. fuck off.
#bluebird.txt#why the fuck is it on me#what happened to 'you need yo know how to do this even if you don't want to'#i see that applies to things that i actually don't have to do ('woman' shit) but it's crickets when it's my independence huh#'we don't have time' 'you're too busy' 'there's nowhere to practice' FUCK OFF YOU TAUGHT MY LITTLE BROTHER TO DRIVE#AND HE HAD TO PRESSURE YOU TOO#DON'T GIVE ME BULLSHIT#not like i'll ever be able to afford a car of my own like. ever in the foreseeable future but i need to be able to drive myself#do i want to? fuck no i want there to be trains and good public transport#but the fact is there isn't so i have to do this instead#i need to be able to drive myself to school at the very fucking least so fucking bad jesus christ#i need to have control over my own damn self god jesus lord
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We can't expect individual people to have safety nets and contingency plans for everything when as a society we have gutted any safety net we once built.
The way people can get trapped in abusive situations, or be stuck without finances if your spouse dies, is absolutely important to talk about and bring awareness to.... but we can't keep doing it by throwing disabled people under the bus because this happens to us all the time. And unlike someone choosing to be a trad wife we really have no choice in our situation.
We need more robust safety nets, community supports and resources to help people from getting stuck with no way out of abusive relationships and bad situations.
We can't personal responsibility our way out of societal problems.
sometimes, when someone is criticizing the stay-at-home-wife movement being sold to young women by conservatives, it loses focus on the "selling you a repressive and authoritarian worldview" point and slides into... well... implicitly leaving disabled people to die.
and what i mean by that is, it's all well and good to say you should do everything in your power to make sure you're not financially dependent on another person... but what if "everything in your power" is "nothing?"
what if how society is structured means you have absolutely no choice but to be financially dependent on another person? what if it's that, or simply die? this is the choice disabled people are faced with. not even uncommonly... frequently. people who need full-time carers, or who have very expensive medication and assistive tech needs, or people who simply can't work in the current job structure, often have the choice of... well... find someone to be financially dependent on, or face a slow, painful death, usually without housing. even if you're lucky enough to get on a fixed income, it's never enough to even make monthly rent, and that's not counting the extra costs of food, toiletries, medicine...
in fact, a lot of disabled people (certainly notably women, but absolutely not limited to, and in fact i see this happen to trans men over and over again, and i've lost a dear transmasc friend because of this) are funneled into being stay-at-home parents and homemakers, forced to do all of the domestic labor and childcare in exchange for a roof over their head and access to their medications/assistive tech, and isolated in all the same ways tradwives are isolated. in fact, this even happens with leftist partners/parents. all the time, i see disabled people disappear from public life entirely, lose contact with all their friends, and consign themselves to a life of cleaning up after someone while struggling to handle their own health needs, even having their disabilities exacerbated and their lifespans shortened by the amount of domestic labor they're required to do.
but it isn't a choice... it can't be fixed by focusing on academia or work... and it's not due to buying into conservative propaganda. all i ask is, please remember this, and please never leave us out of these discussions.
#there was a video I watched recently by a creator i usually admire on this topic#and i get it since the target was talking to trad wife lifestyle folks but still#its not like trad wife folks can't also be disabled and it honestly painted being dependent as being lesser and i hate that#and the derisive way the creator talked about getting an “allowance” as though that is the worst thing in the world#i have gotten a portion of my spouse's paycheque since forever because we agreed I should have my own money that I controlled#this looks very much like the allowance that was derided but it also is helping me build my own personal savings#and while i still rely on my spouse's income to do so#once it transfers to my account it is 100% MY money and I honestly don't think that making fun of#people having an allowance like that is the best idea if you also want them to be as financially independent as possible#because sometimes those allowances are the only thing that people have to be able to get out of these situations because they save#up as much as they can covertly through this allowance#so like... idk very disappointed how we are talking to and about this recent conservative fad#because there are things it is absolutely important to bring up!! but simply being dependent on someone else is not fucking one of the#things we have to shit on right? cmon...
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😒
#dude. Get the fuck out of my space#do u want me to be independent? Then why do u insist on invading and doing shit because I’m not good enough at doing shit myself#why say I’m helpless and can’t survive on my own if you refuse to let me have even a modicum of independence#do you want me to be independent or do you want to control me? fuck off
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What If 141... "tell me you need me" and/or " I don't want you to stop"
Okay. Okay okay okay okay. When I first read this prompt, I genuinely thought I would write something really sweet and soft. But I also have free will. I am an independent individual. I make the choices here. Are they sweet? Yes. Are they soft? A bit. Is this mostly spice? Yes. Yes it is. I will not ask forgiveness.
Presented in four double drabbles.
For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE
Task Force 141 x Female Reader
Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): swearing, non-descriptive sex, praise, fluff, established relationship, suggestive themes
Word Count: 800
ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist
John Price
“Say it, love. I want to hear you say it.”
Everything in you is buzzing. It is loud, as if a hive of bees dwells beneath your skin. Each touch John gives you is electric. A zing of pleasure that rockets outward until the tips of your fingers and toes tingle.
“You don’t play fair,” you whine, sinking against him, surrendering to his touch.
“Never do,” he murmurs, nipping at your earlobe.
You reach up to touch him, to hook your arm around the back of his neck. You need to anchor yourself before you fall over the edge. His fingers are expert things, moving in little circles between your legs. It is agony. And so very sweet.
John seizes your wrist. Brings your arm back to your side.
“No,” he says. “You can’t have that yet.”
“Why not?”
John’s lips brush against your throat. “Tell me you need me. Say it and I’ll give you what you want.” He lightly bites. “Promise.”
You swallow hard. The words are forming, but they are only air. Slipping away with each stroke of his fingers.
John pauses. And that sets you off instantly.
“I need you, John,” you gasp.
“That’s my girl.”
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
Kyle’s fingers thread lightly through your hair. It’s a gentle touch. One that sends a shiver through you.
Your hands roam, touching everywhere. There is skin beneath your fingers. It is taut, slick with water from the shower. Kyle is warm too like a good blanket. You could wrap yourself up in him.
Kyle returns to your hair, working in the shampoo. You close your eyes and sink into the feeling. He has one arm around your waist as if you’ll run off.
“Don’t stop,” you moan. “That feels good.”
Kyle’s soft laugh comes from behind you, and then he guides you under the spray, washing away the shampoo.
“Need to get the rest of you,” he purrs, those strong hands of his grasping your waist, spinning you around to face him. “Where should I start first?”
He traces one finger along your jaw and down the side of your throat only to descend to collarbone and the curve of your breast. He goes lower. Lower still.
You grasp his wrist, arching into his touch.
“Here?” he asks with a smug smile.
You’re needy. And his hand between your legs is bliss.
“I don’t want you to stop,” you reply.
John "Soap" MacTavish
“Oh. Fu—fuck, love. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
Johnny groans loudly above you, his head tilted back in ecstasy. Behind you, the television is on but the sound is muted. It bathes the bedroom in a blueish glow. Johnny isn’t paying attention, and you’re not either.
You are settled between his legs, your mouth full of him.
This is a craving. A vice. Johnny is always the one giving. He loves to do it. Loves to shower you with affection and as much pleasure as you can handle. But you have the control now. You’re the one making him squirm. Making him writhe and whimper.
It’s lovely this feeling. The power is perfect.
No wonder Johnny loves doing this so much.
He groans again, the arm next to his side, fist clenched. His other hand rises, and tentatively brushes against your scalp. Johnny’s eyes are closed. You’re not sure if he even knows what he’s doing.
“I don’t want you to stop,” he says, almost absently, as if speaking to the air.
You continue. Tasting.
His hand against your scalp strengthens, fingers tangling in your hair. His grip is fierce.
“Don’t stop,” he repeats. “Don’t want you to stop.”
Simon "Ghost" Riley
“That’s not what you say. You know this, love.”
Simon grasps your chin between thumb and forefinger. He squeezes slightly, tipping upward. You are unable to look away. Unable to move. Those dark eyes with pale eyelashes drive a spear through your heart every time.
It’s maddening.
You lick your lips and Simon follows the movement. He examines your mouth, and then his thumb brushes against the underside of your bottom lip. It sends a little shiver through you. Simon is powerful. Strong. He could easily break you, and yet he can be so gentle.
“I’m not gonna ask again.” Simon draws you closer and leans forward as if to kiss you. He doesn’t though, simply holds there, awaiting an answer.
He won’t give you what you’re seeking just yet. Not until you say the magic words.
“Tell me you need me,” he murmurs.
That is all Simon wants. To be desired. To be needed. He loves to hear it from your lips, especially like now when the two of you are tangled in each other. Other times, it’s simple things like reaching something on the top shelf.
And you will tell him.
You always do.
“I need you, Simon.”
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Hiiii
I just got done reading your masterpiece with the Austrian bread and got an idea.
What about the making of Aussie kids? Reader would have a baby fever and Toto would immediately be like ‘let’s make one’ and reader would cry out ‘ but I’m on birth control’
Pure chaos and smut
Sending positive vibes
𝐚 𝐛𝐮𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐧 - 𝐭. 𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟𝐟
𝐭𝐨𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐲 - 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨
summary: don’t bake a man’s favorite bread unless you want to have his kids. it’s a good thing you’re desperate to do exactly that. content warning: 18+ only. mdni. explicit sexual content. kitchen sex. pregnancy kink. baby fever. unprotected sex. vaginal sex. creampie. implied masturbation. implied age gap. reader and toto are married. breeding kink (i guess)? birth control. actual pregnancy. beta read by @biancathecool pairing: toto wolff x fem!black!reader genre: written fic (1.8k words).
from serene: here’s the part two to toasty, i hope it satisfies the requests i got for this! i personally don’t understand the thirst some of you have for toto but, i do respect it. maybe one day i’ll see what y’all do or somebody can educate me on it but, i do hope y’all are pleased with this one xxx
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A switch has been flipped in your brain—you’ve become more than insatiable for your husband. After he railed you on the counter for making his favorite bread, baking has become your entire personality. The way Toto looked at you after he tried your first attempt at an authentic pumpernickel bread changed how your brain fires. The mix of love and lust that filled his gaze had awoken an innate instinct within you: you need to have this man’s babies.
You’ve always claimed to be an independent woman, your dream was never to become a man’s accessory, or housewife, or tradwife. But, for Toto? For the way he looked at you as he had his first taste of your pastry? You’d set feminism back for a hundred years to keep getting fucked like that for the rest of your life. You spent an ungodly amount of money (Toto’s money) on baking utensils and you’ve pretty much been running a bakery out of your kitchen. Every few hours you’re shoving a pastry down your husband’s throat, eagerly awaiting his praise for each creation you seem to bake perfectly.
Off-handedly around a mouthful of cinnamon sugar knots you baked, Toto moaned at the dessert melting on his tongue, seemingly in a daze when he murmured, “I’m going to get you pregnant if you keep baking like this.”
You laughed at his unexpected outburst, brushing it off as Toto hyperbolizing how great the dessert was. However, it was like the words infected your brain–every waking hour, you constantly thought about having his kids. And it didn’t help that once Toto heard you set a timer for the oven, he’d be tearing your clothes off and fucking you on the nearest surface. The kitchen island is a favorite, but there was an instance where he took you on the floor. Afterward, he claimed to be too old for sex on tiled floors, but you were too busy imagining growing a baby in your belly to care.
The severity of your baby fever is only realized when you reach into your nightstand to take your birth control and...you hesitate. You’re on the last week of pills, you should message your clinic to get a refill. Imagine a child, a mixture of you and Toto. And, you’re aware that pregnancy can be rough but you’d finally be able to decorate that spare room into a nursery instead of letting it collect dust. A baby; a combination of your best halves. Would they have your deeper skin tone, or Toto’s height, or your curls, or his nose, or your eyes? You could have your baby cradled to your chest as you bake for your husband, their father—
“Schatz?” Toto calls in question from his side of the bed, eyes concerned through the lens of his glasses, “You froze, are you okay?”
You shake the thoughts from your head, the smile you give him is slightly strained. You complete the monotonous motion of swallowing tonight’s allocated contraception with a sip of water. Tossing the packet back in the drawer, you speak, “Yes, I’m fine. I just realized that I need to order more birth control.”
His eyes examine your expression for a moment before he nods and offers a simple, “Hm.” in response. Toto fixed his eyes back on the book in front of him, and you ignore the disappointment that burns in your chest. Sighing mutely, you grab your phone and request a refill in your clinic’s online portal.
The next morning you’re awoken by Toto sweetly petting you awake, his thumb tracing lightly along your cheekbone. He murmurs an apology as he reveals that he’s going to be trapped in the home office today with back-to-back meetings concerning the looming Formula One season. You pouted even while you nodded your understanding, pleading for a kiss before you lost his attention for the day, which Toto happily divulged.
You busy yourself, prepping Toto’s favorite pastry and setting it to bake in the oven as early as possible. As a caring wife, you prepare meals for him and slip into his room to deliver them knowing he would forget to eat if you didn't remind him. You make sure his coffee never runs low, even if you switched to decaf after the second mug—he shouldn’t have too much caffeine at his age, you’d like to grow old with him eventually. To your dismay, Toto did not lie about being locked in the office. He was sequestered within those four walls well past sunset and as a result, you’ve produced enough baked goods in your free time to power the entire Mercedes factory for a week.
“I think we are going to have to discuss a limit for how many things you can bake in a day, schatz,” your husband sounds from the kitchen entryway, an awe-filled look on his face as he sees the bakery you’ve created.
“The pumpernickel bread is still baking—would you like a cinnamon roll instead? Or a chocolate chip cookie? Or could I interest you in a slice of apple pie?”
You’re well aware that your curls are a mess in the loosely fastened bun dangling low on your head, you probably have streaks of flour and other various baking ingredients on your face mirroring the dirty surface of your apron. The unhinged baker aesthetic you’ve suddenly adopted is pulled together by the wide grin splayed across your lips.
“I could eat all three,” Toto hums, his eyes darkening as he approaches you in the kitchen, fingers rushing to untie your apron, “—If you can help me work up an appetite.”
Various baked goods are shoved out of the way to make space for you to be bent over the island. Your flushed brown skin is cooled by the marble surface, nipples hardening quickly at the temperature but, it doesn’t stop you from spreading your legs and helping Toto tug your panties to the side underneath your skirt. He’s quick to press a finger within your entrance and pauses when the slide is too easy.
You squirm desperately, whining when Toto halts your hips from rocking backward on his hand.
“Schatz,” Toto murmurs, his free hand palming at your ass, “Did you—”
“Yes!” You cut him off, stomping at the delay, “I got bored waiting for things to bake—I’m ready, just fuck me.”
Thankfully, Toto is quick to listen to you and substitute his finger for his cock, his slacks unzipped enough to pull himself out. At the stretch, your eyes roll back and you lose the strength to hold your head up, letting it fall to press against the cool marble. You feel your husband still his hips but you reach your hand backward to grasp at his pressed dress shirt, using your grip to tug him forward, a non-verbal cue for him to keep sinking into you. He curses lowly and leans downward to rest his head on the back of your neck, pressing the remaining few inches inside.
Twin moans of pleasure are exhaled into the kitchen, Toto’s hands move to hold your waist, his clasp on your skin tight, reflecting the force he’s mustering to refrain from fucking into you without your approval. The burn from his girth fades quickly replaced by the feeling of fullness you’ve become addicted to. You roll your hips softly, moaning shakily at the drag of his length within you and Toto meets your rhythm smoothly.
He fucks into you deeply, grunting on every other thrust in, you feel the breath of his chuckle ghost across your back when you fall limp in his hands; he’s well aware that you enjoy sitting pretty and taking what he gives you. Your cunt clings to his cock, the plush heat trying its hardest to disallow Toto from exiting, urging him to stay buried inside of you as he scrapes directly over your most sensitive points.
Your husband straightens himself upright, pressing you firmly down on the counter with a hand in the middle of your back, his other hand slipping around to rest on your navel while keeping your hips angled upward for a better angle.
His thrusts become rougher and you can only scramble to hold on to the island, hands slipping from the sweat accumulated on your palms and skin. Your mouth is parted, drooling from the corner of your lip, chest heaving as you struggle to breathe through his thrusts, moans and gasps punched out of your chest, his cock hardened and pulsing within you, and your curls bouncing out of your bun and sticking to your back and forehead from the heat.
Toto’s hand presses into your belly, and he pants lowly, “You feel me right in here—I’m going to put a baby in you, schatz.”
You shudder in his arms, eyelids fluttering as you struggle to reply, and you swear you feel yourself become wetter at the image your husband planted in your mind.
“You can’t,” you whine out roughly, whimpering as the force of his thrusts rocks you up across the island, the ledge digging into your hips, “ah—’m on birth control!”
He grunts dismissively, patting his hand on your belly as his rough thrusts are exchanged for deep grinds, hitting places that send tantalizing rushes of pain along with pleasure up your spine, “Okay,” Toto huffs, “Stop taking it.”
You mean to ask clarifying questions, but he doesn’t let you get a word in as he continues to ramble about getting you pregnant.
“Fuck, I’m going to give you a baby, yes?” “—Going to be so pretty carrying our child.” “You’ll be such a good mum.”
The last one pushes you over the edge harshly, your nerves burning at the white-hot flash of pleasure, the sounds of Toto following you muffled to your ears as your orgasm floods your senses. You feel a dampness on your cheeks and it takes Toto wiping it away to realize you’re crying. His hips continue to slowly grind deeply within you, his cum painting your walls, and he pulls you upwards to press your lips together.
“You were serious,” your voice cracks embarrassingly as you moan the words into Toto’s lips, “About the birth control?”
“Yes,” your husband answers confidently, his words supported by a firm thrust of his cock that makes your eyes roll and body shiver, “If that’s what you want, of course.”
You hum, pleased at his response, “You need to remind me to call the clinic tomorrow to cancel my refill order.”
Toto grumbles incoherently, more concerned with toying with your nipples and kissing along your collarbone, “Yes, schatz—can you go again? I want to put a baby in you as quickly as possible. You would look so beautiful with a bump, no?”
5 weeks later you run out of the bathroom and leap into your husband's arms, brandishing a positive pregnancy test wildly.
You laugh gleefully, tears of joy forming in your waterline, “I guess both of us are bakers now!”
“What?” Toto offers confused, trying to still your arm to grab the test.
“Both of us are bakers now! You put a bun in my oven!”
© httpsserene2024
#f1 x reader#f1 smut#toto wolff x reader#toto wolff x black!reader#f1 x black!reader#toto wolff smut#toto wolff x you#toto wolff x y/n#toto wolff imagine#toto wolff fanfic#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#f1 fic#formula 1 smut#formula 1 x black!reader#serene’s chapters.#⋆⭒˚。⋆. series special: formula 1#♡ ༘*.゚ love interest: tw.
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PLAY FAKE | part four
MASTERLIST (series) | Rafe Cameron x Female Reader .ᐟ
Summary — When Rafe needs to secure a girlfriend for his father to see him as a viable candidate for Cameron Development, he enlists the help of a bartender who wants nothing to do with him.
Content — 18+, smut, angst, depictions of jealousy + aggression, emotional turmoil, mild descriptions of violence, and usage of drugs. Reader is hyper-independent, a people-pleaser, a smart mouth, stands on business, and mysterious past. Rafe is insecure, possessive, asshole, and has mood swings.
Dedication — for @rivaiken, iykyk! <3
The next couple of days have been radio silence. You don't try to communicate with Rafe and he doesn't try to communicate with you. You just throw yourself into your work, scolding to yourself how this was such a bad idea.
It wasn't meant to be a fuck relationship. It was meant to be fake. Nothing more than public displays of affection and going on to ignore each other behind the scenes. Rafe, himself, said that he wanted to continue doing all the shit he's doing now, just with you as a shielded layer of protection against his father.
Whenever you think back to that moment in the country club bathroom, your stomach recoils. Not because of the sex, but because of how willing you are. You always saw yourself as an independent person. Someone who can handle your own needs. You had to be; you grew up with no parental guidance and raised two younger sisters. You take care of people, you think of others. You handle everything yourself.
But you remember you were deep on your knees, ready to give him anything; when you were splay against the counter, begging him to make you come. God, you feel embarrassed by your own desire.
Maybe it's the control. Maybe it's because you're so used to it in the real world, for once, you want to give the reins to someone else. Especially in the bedroom. And Rafe perfectly takes it.
The only problem is he doesn't give it back.
Asshole.
You're behind the counter, telling Miranda about the new backlog of orders that the system hasn't placed, and a spill in one of the corners, when the bell rings, signaling the entrance of another customer.
"I'll be right with you!" You shout over your shoulders, quickly summarizing the last of the tasks for Miranda before turning to the new customer who walked in.
You plastered on your service smile, ready to take their orders.
Only to realize it was Rafe.
Your smile drops.
"What do you want, Rafe?" You ask pointedly, setting the towel down on the counter as he slides into the seat before you, a casual demeanor to his own presence.
"I need you to play the part again." He says, without so much as an apology or acknowledgement to what happened the other night. "It worked. My dad likes you."
"That's great," your voice is empty of emotions. "Are you coming here to tell me about what a perfect plan you made?"
"No," he shakes his head. "I need you to attend a party with me."
"Business?"
"No, at my house."
Your answer is immediate. "No," you say, shaking your head. "Can't make it."
"You don't even know what it is about."
"Let me guess," you cross your arms, pretending to ponder. "Your dad trusts you enough with me, so if he sees you and me at your party, he would assume I'll be able to control you and you won't push yourself over the edge?"
His reply is silent. That's how you know you're right.
"Guess my Pogue brain caught up fast enough."
You turn around to grab a small glass, pouring out a shot of tequila on the table before tipping your head backwards and taking it all in without a chaser. You need it for whatever this conservation is about to go. "I won't be able to go. I have a double shift."
"I haven't told you the day yet."
"I have double shifts all week," you declare sharply, the bitter taste burning your throat. You squint your eyes for a moment, readjusting, before you find his gaze again.
"I'll pay you."
"God, is this party that important?" You huff out of astonishment at his persistence. "The answer is still no. I don't want your money."
Rafe's brows furrow together. He doesn't understand why you're acting so cold to him. He came in with a good proposition; you wouldn't have to do any of those silly dinners with his father, all you had to do was make an appearance at a party long enough to satiate Ward and then you can do whatever the hell you want. Why are you being so difficult?
"What the fuck is your problem? Why do you have such an attitude?"
You laugh, abruptly, because this is so ironic and humorous to you that the sound rips out. The reckless prince, the man who received a collegiate degree from UNC Chapel Hill doesn't know what a Pogue is thinking.
You don't answer him, deciding to take one of the tasks off of Miranda's hands and clean up the spill yourself. It’s better than being cornered by Rafe. You move to the other side of the counter for the flip-door exit, stepping out from behind the booth.
Heading to the back to grab the supplies, Rafe follows you. Once you step into the backdoor, grabbing the mop, he slips in behind you, blocking the exit.
"You gonna talk or just avoid me all day again?"
You scoff. "That's rich coming from you."
His forehead wrinkles. He truly doesn't know. "What the fuck are you goin' on about?"
Having enough, you throw your arms out in frustration. "I'm talking about the fact that you're the one who fucked me in a bathroom after some problem with your dad," you snap, lashing out from all your pent-up anger. "You refused to talk to me. All you did was used me as your fucking toy."
He staggers back for a moment. Before a cruel smile appears on his lips.
"I remember you were begging for it."
You slap him.
It was so unprecedented, without thought, that it shocked the both of you. The next few seconds were quiet, too quiet, like it was a live wire waiting to spark.
Your voice is calm, almost deadly. "I want you to leave."
His anger comes back tenfold. It's almost a match made in hell; how your rage matches his, how he doesn't back down—but neither do you.
You were going to drive each other insane.
And some sick part of you liked it.
"When have I ever fucking talked to you, Pogue?" He snaps back with dark fury. "We're barely even friends. If I want to fuck you, and you let me, I'm taking it."
"Whenever you had a problem with your dad, you came to me, in this bar," you gesture out to the door. "You talked. I listened. That was the deal."
"We never said that in our relationship."
"Well, I'm putting it in," you declare. Approaching him, stepping a foot closer to close in the distance between the two of you. He doesn't move. He doesn't waver. He watches your step with heavy breathes, dark eyes. In a low breath, you warn, "you want to fuck other people? Fine. I don't care. You do that. They aren't the ones sticking with you, helping you with your dad. They don't have to carry the weight of you being you."
You know the last line was a hard hit, but it was true. You were tired of being seen as another Pogue, someone on the bottom of the litter meant to be used and thrown away. You need to make your stance firm.
"But if you want to fuck me," you conclude, pointing to yourself, "you talk to me, first."
He says nothing. Your anger is filling your adrenaline. It could also be the tequila. Whatever it is, you don't know what provoked you to say the next sentence.
"I wasn't on the pill, goddammit."
For a moment, sobriety reigns over Rafe's features. His eyes widened. "Did you—"
"I bought a Plan B, you asshole." You cut him off, not wanting him to think you're too stupid to think of the consequences. You knew. That's why you told him to pull out. "I wasn't going to carry your babies in me. But, it was expensive. Do you know how much that cost out of my paycheck?"
To him, that may seem like nothing. Nothing more than scraps rolling around his room, in his pockets that he could spare. But for you? That's money that could've gone to paying off your debt, to helping Sailor, to taking care of your siblings.
He remains silent.
You continue.
"You cover for me however you want. You host that party if you want to so fucking badly. But I can't do it. I have work."
You push past Rafe and he lets you, grabbing the mop out of the corner and stepping back into the open atmosphere of your bar. You may hate the noise that comes from the place, but it was better than being suffocated in a room with him.
Rafe quietly follows after you after you return behind the counter.
He looked like he wanted to say something more, but his words were not coming out. His gaze flicks to you, jaw clenched.
"I... I didn't know," his voice is a whisper, almost indistinguishable, that you can't help but let out a bitter chuckle.
"Yeah," you agree. "Because you refused to talk to me."
He says nothing, muted by his own anger, looking down at his hands, before he walks out of the bar. He doesn't bid farewell and you don't expect him to. All you know is he's going to get shit-faced soon and you had nothing to do with it.
—
As you are helping your little sister with her math homework—where all her struggles were about multiplication tables and recognizing whether a fraction is improper—you miss the early days of your life. Where you don't have to think about anything else.
About the bills. About the loans. About how to take care of your siblings.
About a stupid Kook prince you can't get out of your mind.
Your baby sister is seated on the couch, reading some children's book that you made a couple of years ago, stringed together with yarns and colored pencils. Her delicate voice echoes through the joint living room, sounding out the words on her own as she heard you read them million of times before.
Your sister, Amara, pulls you back to reality as she taps your arm, pointing to her problem on the kitchen counter that she's struggling with. She points to the question, reciting her logic of how she got there, and you return with praising her thought process but reminding her of her multiplication tables.
"Ohhhh," her voice drags, giggling at the realization. "I see."
You chuckle softly, laying your chin on her small shoulder and picking up your phone off the counter. While she fixes her mistake, you scroll through social media.
A notification flashes at the top of your screen.
topperthornton: hey
Why the fuck is another Kook sliding into your DMs?
you: hello?
He quickly responds, asking if you are your name.
you: why?
topperthornton: idk if u know but rafe is hosting a party tn
you: so i heard
topperthornton: well, you should come
you: i don't think so, white boy
topperthornton: it's rafe.. he's asking about u
Something in your chest sputters. You pretend it's not your heart.
you: ?? for what
You hope you didn't come off too eager. You don't want to be. You should be pissed, goddammit, but something about knowing Rafe, drunk right now, is thinking about you, makes you weak.
You hate it.
topperthornton: idk what happened between the two of u but he's drunk and crossed out of his mind and he's just been rambling about u
You stare at the text for a hot minute, before another one follows.
topperthornton: u need to come immediately
Fucking hell.
You know you shouldn’t. You just came out of a long, tiresome shift. You have siblings to take care of. You have a math problem that has yet been corrected. But, something in your chest caves. The idea that Rafe needs help, that he's asking for you specifically, and you aren't coming? Makes you uneasy.
You have to go.
There's no other way around it.
Scrambling, you pull your Amara off your lap as you run out the door and race down the block. When you stop in front of Pope's house, you pound your fist against the door, praying someone is home.
It's Pope.
"Hey," he greets. "What's up?"
"I know this is last minute but I need you to watch the kids," you announce breathlessly. His eyes follow you, concerned.
"Everything okay?"
"It's fine," you wave off. "I just have to go somewhere and I don't know how long I'll be. Amara is doing her math homework and Leilani is just reading a book. They're really sweet, I promise."
Pope laughs you off casually. "I know," he says with a smile. "I've babysat them before."
"So," you string the words together slowly, hoping your anxiety isn't coming off too strong. You don't want Pope to feel obligated. "Can you... do it?"
He nods. "Of course. Pogues help each other out."
You smile, pulling him into a quick hug, before handing him the spare key to your house. He heads over to take care of your siblings while you run to your beaten-down car, reversing out the road.
When you arrived at Tannyhill, you truly underestimated how large the party was going to be. People crowded all over, dancing, swinging, just having a reckless and wild time at Rafe Cameron's place. While you know you should be slightly embarrassed by the long pajama pants and braless baggy tee you're wearing right now, feeling overdressed, you step out of the car and head inside.
Topper spots you at the porch.
"Thank God," he mumbles under his breath. "He's been out of it."
You wonder if Topper knows about your arrangement with Rafe.
"Yeah," you nod. "Where is he?"
"I put him in his room with some water but I gotta tell you, he's wasted. Some of the things he says... may not be tasteful."
You scoff. We've already crossed that bridge. "I think I'll be fine."
Without another word, Topper pulls away and you head up the familiar stairs of the estate, descending down the hallway you were here just days ago. It feels, for some reason, like a lifetime since you visited.
You knock on the door, twice, to no answer. Deciding to go for it—praying you won't walk into some lewd act—you step into the room to find it peacefully quiet. Rafe laid out on the mattress, his eyes closed.
You scan the room, trying to see if there's any destruction—any thrown chairs or broken bottles—to find everything in the same condition as you visited prior. The only difference is a pink bag, sitting in his drawer with a bouquet of flowers sticking out.
Your stomach twists in jealousy as you wonder who that could be for. At what fool is receiving such gifts or who gave him such.
When you peek inside, you notice a couple of things: a white envelope, a bundle of red tulips, and like ten-plus stacks of Plan B.
You stiffen your laugh. You realize the fool is you.
Butterflies erupt in your stomach.
The bed creaks and you jump at the sound, seeing Rafe pulling himself up on the mattress into a sitting position, rubbing his eyes to clear his vision, before he finds you, standing in front of him.
He says your name. He thinks he's hallucinating from the drugs.
"Yeah," you nod, cautiously approaching him as his glazed eyes follow your every move. "It's me."
"I thought you said you had a double shift."
He didn't mean for his words to come off so sharp.
"I locked up an hour ago." You explain, brushing past his aggravation.
Rafe nods at your explanation, but his movements are sluggish. Lag. He truly is out of it. You're surprised he went this hard.
His head hangs, staring at his lap, before he asks quietly. "What are you doing here?"
You shrug. You don't know either. You thought he needed help. The idea of him asking for you, but you weren't there for him, kills something inside of you. But, you can't say that. Not after everything you said to him. Not after what this relationship is based on.
You are nothing more than a fake girlfriend.
"Topper said you needed help," you evade any sense of responsibility. Of care. "He texted me."
His jaw clenches, and he looks up at you. "Top has your number?"
"No. He found my Instagram," you answer, wondering if that is jealousy you hear. But, you settle that it can't possibly be the case. "He DM'd me and I came over."
Now it's your turn to be vulnerable.
"I thought you needed help."
Rafe scoffs, bitterly, running a hand through his tousled hair. "Unless you can get this headache out of my heart, I don't think there's much you can do, sweetheart."
You nod, your feet shift to the door, ready to leave. If this is all, if that's all Topper is worried about, Rafe should be fine.
"Come here."
You find yourself listening. Again. Your feet pads against the hardwood floor as you streamline over to him, stopping just in front of his legs hanging off the ledge of the mattress. His head tilts up to meet your gaze; his cloudy blue eyes staring back at you. You bite back a thought.
"I know something that would make me feel better."
You scoff at the suggestive tone. "Let me guess: fuck?"
"Sit on my lap."
You hesitate for a moment. You don't want to be another fuck. But, when his hand lands on the side of your thigh, gentle and earnest, you relent.
Slowly, you settle onto Rafe's lap, both legs on either side of his waist. Your body facing him, and despite him in the lower position, he meets you at eye level.
"Better?" You tilt your head, watching his shoulders unwind every-so-slightly.
"Much." He murmurs, his eyes tracing your face. "God, you're gorgeous."
You flush, knocking a weak palm against his broad shoulder. "Shut up," you say, feeling anything but. You're wearing scraps for clothing, something you planned to go straight to bed—not attend an extravagant party hosted by one of the island's finest.
"I'm fucking serious." He snaps, but his voice doesn't have that hard edge. You blame that on the alcohol too. "I saw all those girls tonight. And yet, here you are, in your fucking pajamas and getting me hard."
You scoff, turning away. "So it does lead back to sex."
"No, it means that they pale in comparison to you," he cups your chin, gently, pulling your gaze back to him. "I'm serious, sweetheart. Believe me."
You're afraid that if you move up against his lap, coming closer, you would feel his erection. Not to mention, if you do, you don't know if you're going to start dry-humping him like you did the other day. But, you remain firm on your stance.
You're not going to let him fuck you unless he talks to you.
The atmosphere thins into a silence, as you take in the low hums of the downstairs party blasting in distant music.
"How was the party?" You ask, probing for a conversation starter. "Was it everything you dreamed of?"
He scoffs. "You're looking at it. I basically drank and smoked until I got sick."
His vices. At least you didn't have to hear about the women he hooked up with, if that's the case. Something deep inside of you hope there isn't.
You nod silently, finding your fingers tracing the outline of his shoulders, your nails scraping against his hot skin and trailing up the crook of his neck. Rafe lets his eyes flutter close for a moment, breathing in a shaky breath.
"Don't do that."
"Why?" You ask, genuinely curious. "I'm just tracing."
"Because anything from you right now feels good," he confesses quietly, and your breath caught in your throat. You hand stills. "Fuck, don't stop."
"You're going to have to give me one signal here, Rafe," you roll your eyes. "You can't say green and red light at the same time."
He pauses for a moment. Contemplating your words.
"Green," he whispers. "Definitely green."
You return to your outline of Rafe's silhouette. He lets you. He says nothing as you follow down to the curve of his arms, skimming against his defined biceps and the muscles instinctively flex under your touch. It made you smile. You pretend you aren't proud of it.
This is done in complete silence.
Then, out of nowhere, Rafe confesses, "I shouldn't have touched you like that."
You freeze. You knew immediately what he was referring to.
"I—I was out of it. I took it out on you."
He still doesn't get it.
You abandon your artwork and use both hands to cup the underside of his jaw, forcing him to tilt his gaze and look up at you. With a sigh, you say, "that wasn't the problem." Your eyes study his face, "it was the fact that you didn't talk to me or explain to me what happened."
His gaze is broken; so incredibly so. The whites of his irises are a faint shade of red, bringing out the deep set of his blue eyes.
"I need to know these things, Rafe." You continue gently. "It's not about me being nosy, or a bitch, or anything. If I'm getting into something with you, I need to know the full picture so I can help you." You swallow your voice as you mumble out the next one. "So you can help me."
You hope he doesn't know the strain in your tone, how hard it was to say those words. You hope he doesn't press on it.
"Okay." Rafe nods, dipping his chin into your palms. "I get it."
"Easier said than done, darling."
Rafe knows it is. He's been struggling to string words together before you came into his life, much less with you in it. But, he was willing to try.
He begins at the dinner. With a stumbled start, he explains how Ward doesn't think he was good enough for you.
You stop him to ask questions. "He said that?"
"No," Rafe shakes his head. "But it's the look on his face. It's—the way he acted. You should've seen how he looked at me when he complimented you, like I'll never compare."
You frown at those words; you didn't even notice.
When he satisfied your questions, Rafe continued on with his story. Rambling further. Each word spilling out easier than the last. He assumed it's because of the alcohol, or the drugs, or perhaps it was neither altogether and it was just you. All in all, he knew.
It was easiest to talk to you.
It reminded him of the bar. He put himself in that setting. His words tumbles out of him with the impression that you won't share it with anyone else. The idea that you were just you, a bartender, who probably had to deal with this shit a thousand-times-over with other talkative customers. That it was you, who he is confessing a vulnerable part to, without the retaliation of judgment.
Rafe breakdowns the comments Ward made. The little conversation they shared after dinner, when you were helping with the caterers. Your clothes. It all became too much to him; like he was the problem. That nothing he did was good enough. His mind was spiraling by that time and having nothing else to pour it into—the drinks, the drugs, the partying—all he had was you.
And he used that to his advantage.
You listen intently, nodding along and following his words without further interruption. Only on things you truly need to clarify. When he finished, even with his incoherent noises and words, something in his chest lightens. It feels more at peace.
You stare at him for a few moments, digesting the information. A protectiveness forms in the pit against your stomach because fuck Ward, you decided. Sure, there may have been admiration from your end about his ability to become a Kook but that means shit now. You hate how he treats Rafe. You hate how you didn't notice.
"God, your dad is a dick."
Rafe doesn't agree like you expect him to. His gaze hardens, like he can't stand you insulting him. You realized, in that moment, you crossed a line. That he may harbor all these hurt and anger and resentment, at the end of the day, it's still his father.
"Sorry," you mumble softly. "I didn't mean it like—"
"I know what you mean."
That came out with an edge.
You swallow, deciding that you should leave. Maybe you being here isn't the right decision. Your legs are starting to cramp from their overstretched position and the inside of your thighs burn from the overuse. You peel your hands off his shoulders and slowly will yourself off of Rafe's lap.
"I should go," you declare, glancing at the exit.
Something in his chest tightens. He wasn't mad. He just wasn't used to regulating his emotions, especially about his father. All he knows is that he doesn't want you to leave.
"Wait," Rafe declares as you pause in front of his bedroom door. He stammers for an excuse. "I never made you come."
Your eyes slightly widen from the suggestion. "It's fine," you say, even though, in that moment, a small part of you hated him for that. "I... I finished myself off when I got home."
The image of you, in your bed, alone, touching yourself to relieve your aches, does something to him. Both in guilt and in arousal.
"No," he raises from his bed, approaching you. Now, with him standing on his own two feet, he towers over you—dominating and intimidating. "It's only fair. I should give back."
"Rafe," you place a hand on his chest, laughing awkwardly, because you don't know how you feel about him pleasuring you. "It's fine. It's not a tit-for-tat thing. You don't owe me anything."
He feels frustrated again. That's not what he meant.
"Fine." He snaps. "You want my words? I want to make you come. I want you to feel as good as I did that day."
You stare at him, the air stolen from your lungs, not knowing what to say. Then, suddenly, an idea occurs to you and a sly smile rises to your lips.
"You want to help me come?" You ask sweetly, watching as he nods his head like an obedient dog. "Okay."
Your hands travel down to the hem of his pants, to his belt, and unbuckle them. Rafe's face conveys surprise, that you're so eager to accept, and when you pull out the leather strap, you stop. Just for a moment, you glance back, asking in confirmation. "My pleasure, right?"
He doesn't know what you're trying to do, but he nods anyway.
"Turn around."
Rafe does what you say. You take both of his wrists into one of your hands—a struggle that Rafe had to assist with—and pins them behind his back. Using the belt, you tie them together.
"Sweetheart..." His voice is low, unsure of how you're able to proceed, but the arousal travels through his body at the uncertainty.
"Trust me." You whisper, buckling them into a firm lock. When you walk back around to face Rafe, your panties dampen at the sight before you: him, standing tall, with his arms pinned behind him, almost helpless. "Sit."
Rafe takes the seat on the desk chair you pulled out, his bounded arms touching the back of the seat as his focus is pinned on you, standing before his bed.
You let out a shaky breath, excitement bubbling in your stomach at the idea of what's about to happen, before your fingers hook to the band of your pants, slowly pulling them down to your ankles. He watches every little move; like a strip tease catered specifically for him. Something he can see. Something he can't touch.
Rafe can feel his erection hardens in his jeans.
"What are you doing?" Rafe's voice is rough and once you step out of your pants, revealing the white panties underneath, he groans at the sight.
"I'm going to make myself feel good," you declare evenly, trying to calm your racing heart, "and you're going to watch."
His Adam's apple bobs. "How do I help?"
"I look at you as I do."
A complaint lodged in his throat but you caught it before he proceeded. "My pleasure, right?" You remind him, to which he, with great reluctance, nods.
You leave your shirt on, deciding it would be unnecessary to take off, and settle down on his bed. Your back pressed against the mattress, you position yourself comfortably in a way that allows Rafe to watch.
And he's watching.
"Are you going to use your fingers?" Rafe asks, deciding that he needs to talk to keep him sane.
"Mhm," you answer, spreading your legs. Arousal licks up your stomach as you feel the cool air brushes the inside of your thighs, raising goosebumps against your skin. You feel the urge to laugh to dispel some discomfort in your body, at how intense Rafe is studying you, but you choose not to. "I might only use two. It'll be tight."
Fuck, Rafe thought.
With a tentative hand, you brush your fingers against your panties, feeling your wetness forming a spot. The light touches ignites heat in your core and your eyes flutter close for a second.
"Look at me." Rafe commands, trying to regain some control. It doesn't work, but you listen anyway.
You watch him as you continue to stroke yourself, pressing against your clothed pussy, not quite entering, as a light coat of your slick covers your fingers. You tip your head back with a small moan.
"Sweetheart," he groans, "stop torturing yourself."
When he truly means to stop torturing him.
You pull your hand back and stuff your fingers into your mouth to cover with saliva, tasting the faintness of your arousal, before returning back to your pussy. Pushing the drenched fabric to the side, a forefinger slips inside easily.
A whimper escapes you, your back arching slightly from the intrusion of your touch. Rafe's breath hitches in his throat as he watches you steadily pump yourself, in-and-out with one digit. You focus on your own pleasure, how good it feels, with the heightened sensitivity of Rafe's attention all on you.
And he's fucking hard.
Rafe watches as you spread your wet folds, slipping in another finger to your tight cunt. It kills him that he can't do anything about it.
"I bet my fingers would fill you more," he offers seductively, trying to remind you of his existence. That he can do it too. You laugh softly, not taking the bait. "What are you thinking about?"
"How good this feels," you whisper, hearing the sound of your wetness squelching in the air. You mewl. "You."
Rafe grunts at the confession. You try to keep your eyes set on him, to remember what you're doing, who you're doing it with, but the build-up is causing you to lose control and makes you close your eyes.
"Eyes." He demands, his voice sharper than before. You open them with great resistance, each second longer is a struggle to keep them focused on him.
"Oh, god," you moan, quickening your pace as you connect your gaze with Rafe. The way he looking at you right now. It reminds you of the night at Topper's house, the time in the country club's bathroom. "Yes, yes, fuck."
He can't stand this. He's straining against his jeans, his cock painfully hard without any relief, while his wrists are bound and reddened by how tight you locked him in. How he's pushing against the leather, trying to break free.
You close your eyes again in pleasure. Your orgasm is getting close.
Rafe swallows hard. "You feelin' good, sweetheart?"
You nod eagerly, flicking your gaze back to him. "You enjoying the view?"
He clenches his jaw, not responding, but you can tell. The impressive outline of his bulge against his pants, how hungry his eyes are. How much he wants you.
It lights something carnal within you. You start to pump harder and faster inside your pussy, your moan growing louder and without inhibition; Rafe's very own porn show in front of him.
He has enough.
"I need to touch you." Rafe declares desperately, rising from his chair, his eyes never straying from the perfect image of you, on his bed, fucking yourself, writhing in ecstasy. "Come on, sweetheart, I can—fuck—I can make you feel so much better."
He's bargaining, goddammit.
A small laugh leaves you, mixed in with the sound of your own pleasure, and you don't acknowledge his comment. His pleads. He steps forward, closing the distance between the two of you.
Rafe growls out your name.
You glance up at him through a heavy-lidded gaze. "Hmm?" You say innocently, pulling your hand out of your pussy. His eyes glance down at your slickness glistening off your fingers, his chest tightening.
"Say yes." He demands weakly, his voice rough and filled with so much restraint, like he's seconds away from losing it. "Tell me I can touch you."
You pull yourself to your knees, bending before him, your smile full of satisfaction. "You want me that badly, baby?"
He doesn't even bother denying it anymore. "Yes."
"My pleasure, right, baby?"
"Fuck, yes," he groans. "Please."
You grin, bringing your wet fingers to his mouth and pressing it against his full lips. He takes you in, sucking your arousal clean from your hand, his eyes still on yours, and you, finally, finally nod.
"You can touch me."
Rafe breaks his belt buckle in one swift motion, surprising you, before his hands immediately cover your body, grabbing at any flesh he can find. His mouth claims yours, pulling you into a hungry kiss and pushing you back against the mattress as his weight pins you down.
"You can't get enough of me." You tease, moaning at how good he tastes, how you can taste yourself on him, and your fingers find his hair. When he breaks, his hard eyes land on your face.
"You don't know how fucking badly I want to punish you right now," he confesses lowly, his hand lowering to the space between your legs. "For torturing me like that."
"It doesn't feel good, does it?"
Rafe scoffs, capturing your cheeks in one large hand, squeezing them together. He runs the pad of his thumb across your bottom lip, mumbling, "this fucking mouth."
You provoke further. "You love it."
He doesn't answer you, silencing himself with a bruising kiss against your lips and sucking all the air out of your lungs. When his hand lands on your pussy, his fingers begin to run tight circles around your clit, causing you to arch into him.
"Oh, god," you moan into his mouth as he swallows the sound. Breaking from the kiss to glance down, he watches at how responsive your body is, how you're writhing under his touch, and smirks.
"Feels good?"
"So good," you whisper needily, "please keep doing that."
Rafe descends down your body, kissing a trail from the navel of your stomach to your wet cunt, aching and waiting just for him. "I'm going to make you come on my fingers, tongue, and face. Think you can do that for me, sweetheart?"
He doesn't give you time to answer, covering his mouth over your swollen nub and sucks.
"Oh, fuck," your hips involuntarily bucks against his face. He grins against your pussy, in satisfaction, at how good he's making you feel. At how good you taste. To be denied of this, for the past hour, was torture. He wants to pleasure and punish you, all in one. "Don't stop, don't stop."
Your legs wrap around his head in a lock as he ascends you towards your peak, slipping two thick fingers into your pussy. The size makes your walls clench around them. Rafe groans, the vibration against your clit pushing you further into your climax.
"Please don't stop, please." You moan in desperation, afraid of him pulling out again, tipping your head back against his pillows, your fingers gripping his hair harder. Rafe twists his fingers, entering at a new angle, allowing the cool sensation of his ring against your hot cunt and amplifies your sensitivity.
"I'm not going anywhere, baby."
Rafe quickens his pace, his fingers thrusting in with precision and hitting all the right spots. In addition, he slurps harder, tonguing your clit in a way that causes stars to blanket your vision. Writhing in pleasure, you moan and whimper, racing towards your orgasm.
"Come for me," he commands, feeling your walls twitching towards a desperate end, “let me hear my girl."
You release with a heavy cry, coming on his face and slumping back against the bed from pure exhaustion. Combined with the day you had, the double shifts you've been pulling, and the incredible orgasm you're given, all you want to do is sleep.
"Get up," Rafe declares, but you don't move. "Come on, sweetheart."
"Give me five minutes," you yawn, holding out five fingers while your eyes flutter. "I just need to..."
You don't finish your sentence, closing your eyes for a brief moment. That's what you tell yourself, and the last thing you remember before you fall completely in your slumber.
★ part five ★
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#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe imagine#rafe smut#rafe fic#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron smut#obx fanfiction#obx fic#obx x reader#obx smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x y/n#obx#rafe cameron x female reader#outer banks
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Non-supe Reader's reaction to her Father, Homelander's plan to take over the USA and for the supes to be in control.
"You see me as a cattle that deserves to die"
Homelander watches as you scream at him, your eyes glassing in distress.
"I don't see you as such, why would I think of you like that when I was the one who raised you"
Your eyes finally meets his own eyes, while you shook your head in disbelief.
"Firecracker told what you are up to, you are going to enslave the non-supes and those who stand against you will be imprisonated, you want the supes to be seen as wrathful gods" you explain, making Homelander roll his eyes.
"You are my daughter, you fucking came from me, I would never think any less of you-"
You cut him off, backing away from him when he tries to walk closer to you as to comfort you.
"But you already do! How many times did you not respect my choice to be independent? You see me as a toy" you exclaim.
Homelander's enraged experission strikes a sense of fear inside of you, but deep down you know that he won't harm you.
Because, in the end, you have been with your father for more then twenty years ever since you were born, unlike Ryan, it's Homelander who raised you since childhood.
Ever since John was in his late teens.
"I'm doing my best to keep you and Ryan happy, but both of you are ungrateful"
Suddenly, your father grabs you by your neck, pulling you closer to him.
"You are mine, I don't care if you are some weak human, but you come from me flash and blood, therefore I own you"
Homelander's blue eyes is glinting with insanity at the thought of losing you.
For him, you are the first family mamber he could build the familial bond with, just to ease his childhood trauma of not having a family.
That's why he threatened your mother with death if she tried to put you up for adoption or abort you.
Despite being only seventeen at the time, and acting immature, Homelander believed he would be the best father.
If he loses you, then he would lose the last bit of sanity he has left in him.
"You have nowhere to go, I'm your father, I'm your creator, I'm your god"
At that moment, you think of one solution to get out of this insane mess.
Billy Butcher and the boys.
#yandere the boys#tw: toxic relationships#reader insert#platonic yandere#daughter reader#homelander x reader#the boys
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Oh, no. Again? You know you have soooo much to do tomorrow. So many big, important responsibilities to live up to...
And yet, here you are again. Edging like a mindless animal in heat.
I don't blame you. Truly, I don't. Who could expect you of all people to show an ounce of self-control? Not me. I know how weak you are. How weak you love to feel. How gone and addicted and utterly helpless this place has made you.
Now let's not blame this here site for all of your problems, okay? You know there's something... off about you. Something skewed. Something twisted. And no one is forcing you to come back again and again and again...
You do realize how... messed up you've become, right? How you touch yourself to things that should be repugnant. The very things you fight so hard against in the real world. And the shame... delicious, isn't it?
Let me offer some solace in these... confusing times. You are not alone. Feminists edging to misogyny. Independent, strong women dreaming of getting taken, conquered, pumped full of cum- bred like bitches. Powerful people longing to be free of the shackles or choice... you are in good company indeed.
You need it. You need it and you know it's so fucking wrong. But you don't matter, now do you? No. Whatever's between your legs rules you. Compels you. Demands that you obey. And you, tiny, insignificant being are only an extension of what your base urges demand.
So, keep edging. Be a good girl. Make yourself worse and worse. Feel those limits grow fuzzier and fuzzier...
And now look at what you've become. So pure in your obedience. So delightfully simple. A support system for a set of warped libidinal impulses. That's all you want to be.
Drool.
See how good that can feel? Knowing you're sacrificing your dignity for someone you've never met?
Good girl.
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dolls by design cannot move without someone external to them moving their limbs, so even if a living doll character can move on their own, they still implicitly have this relationship to others where they not only cannot resist being touched (and by extension controlled), they cannot do anything at all otherwise. dynamics of power and control are often eroticised, and doll joints immediately mark a character as slotting into this kind of dynamic, similar to how maid outfits are sexy to some people because of the dynamic of servitude they signify. this is the main point that the vast majority of self proclaimed doll enjoyers seem to latch onto, doll joints as visual shorthand for a dynamic of dependency that may or may not be sexual.
dolls exist to entertain someone and be loved by them, their sole purpose is quite literally to look pretty for their owner. this too is a popular erotic dynamic even when no dolls are involved. dolls are artificial creations, so a doll inherently exists the way it does because someone wanted it to. in some cases this is extended into its reverse: a doll does not exist without someone wanting it to, therefore, the doll is wanted because it exists. the very fact that the doll exists implies a fascination with either the doll itself or the one it's made to look like, because without this fascination it wouldn't exist to begin with. the doll exists to be loved, so you desire it by virtue of its existence, and this gives it a certain power over you despite its powerless nature. the most common cursed doll in media is one that is resentful over being abandoned. the desire for another is inherent to dolls and this is, obviously, erotic.
in my experience this is usually the angle when you're dealing with a sorcerer that made themselves a doll body or something like that. the tension between the doll and the force that moves it is resolved by having these be the same entity, so they're a doll to signify fascination instead, be it from or towards the one inhabiting the doll.
dolls are often associated with being fragile and delicate, especially the ball jointed type that living doll characters will usually invoke. they have to be touched in order to act, but cannot be touched without risk of breaking this precious delicate object. this tension of a body that both invites and discourages being touched is also erotic.
a doll's body is implicitly delicate, but it is also a body that can be repaired or replaced when it breaks. you can completely dismantle a doll without actually harming it, and in fact dismantling it is necessary to fix it in case it does break. a sentient doll's body would logically have to experience itself differently than a human flesh body. since you can open up and pull apart a doll in various ways without actually hurting it, there are naturally various ways to touch it erotically that you could never do with a living person, and because the doll by definition exists for you, this touch can be as painful or pleasurable for the doll as your proclivities dictate. for some reason fucking nobody on pixiv seems to agree with me on this point but this is a big one for me personally, the unique ways of interacting with doll bodies as extension and expression of the way a doll's body inherently has a complex and contradictory relationship with being touched. we're talking about a body made of gaps, go stick something in those for fucks sake.
a doll allowing itself to be taken apart to be repaired (or to have freak sex) is an incredible display of trust similar to that of robots letting you poke around their circuitry. it's an emotional intimacy that's only possible with this kind of artificial partner. the capacity for and necessity of occasionally being completely taken apart and reassembled to continue functioning, of exposing yourself entirely and putting your trust in someone's deft hands, is obviously erotic.
a doll cannot exist independently, and while its purpose is to be loved, it's rare for it to be thought of as an independent actor by anyone other than children. also, if the doll /isn't/ loved it becomes completely helpless, because it needs someone else to move it, be it literally or metaphorically. a living doll character will, sooner or later and thematically if not directly, have to contend with the fact that this is a horrifically stunted existence for a sentient being to have. a doll cannot meaningfully resist anything that is done to it, and its only blessing is that it has a body that can endure this. you can violate dolls both physically and emotionally in ways far more invasive than with a real person, and depending on your angle their very existence as a doll is a violation in itself, something that lends itself well to the overlap between horror and eroticism. this is another favourite of mine that I barely see reflected in what other people are cooking up in my field of vision.
even if a particular doll character doesn't tick any of these boxes regarding characterisation or relationships, the fact that they have doll joints anyway is a constant reminder of these associations, and this contrast is alluring in itself. independence does not come naturally to a doll, so a doll that acts freely is fighting a constant battle against its own nature. this is hot and extremely underutilized.
being denied agency because the material reality of your body makes you dependent on the goodwill of others is an experience many real people can relate to for a wide range of reasons, so living dolls are useful abstractions to explore these experiences and reframe these limitations as something that makes you desirable. unfortunately this leads to most of the dollposting on this site being really boring to me because its all like "what if i was cute and loved and didn't have to think for myself" instead of the horrific violation and unique physical experience parts that i'm personally interested in, but it's undeniably a major contributing factor to general doll enjoyment.
the presence of doll joints on a character invokes a relationship to the body and the people around them that lends itself well to various popular erotic dynamics, and which marks them as object of desire not entirely unlike how a womb tattoo marks someone as primed for fucking except for people who can't get off without metaphors. im sure for a lot of people it's really not any deeper than "it looks nice :)" and that's fair, I'm a pretentious elitist who thinks most people producing doll fetish stuff are boring about it though. stop drawing regular sex with more lines and stick your fingers in there NOW
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Roommate Accident
Synopsis. Living with Eren Yeager was never supposed to happen or be complicated, but tension between two roommates turns their once peaceful arrangement into an awkward dance of avoidance and frustration. A casual offer to give her a ride one day sets off a chain of unexpected events, leaving her questioning the boundaries of their relationship. As their interactions grow more intense, she finds herself torn between keeping the peace and exploring something deeper. With a circle of close friends offering unsolicited advice and wild suggestions, she must decide whether to confront her feelings or continue ignoring the growing chemistry between them.
Paring: Eren Yeager x Fem Reader
Content, MDNI: Enemies to lovers, arguments, smut, drinking, oral (f), dirty talk, sex, fluff, one shot, (Lmk if I missed anything!)
Word Count: 9.7K
{ash’s notes} -HI GUYS! This is my first story and if I’m gonna be honest, I’m prettyyyy nervous but excited of course. I hope you guys enjoy reading this because this was lowkey so fun to write, I have so many more stories to think about writing but not sure when I will. Okay I’m just going to be rambling on and on so again please show love to this story and lmk what you think and how it is! Love you all and take care of yourself, MWAHH❤️ minors aren't welcomed! comments + reblogs are appreciated!
College life is back in full swing, and with it comes the sense of purpose I’ve been craving all summer. Don’t get me wrong—being home with family had its perks, but I desperately needed some time to myself. Now, living with Mikasa, I finally have the freedom to do things on my own terms, while still keeping my grades up, of course. It feels like a fresh start, a chance to balance responsibility with the independence I’ve been longing for.
Junior year of college—finally. I know it’s going to be a new challenge, but all I’m hoping for is as little stress and drama as possible. The drive ahead was long, so I kept my goodbyes short and sweet, not wanting to drag it out. As I hit the road, a mix of nervousness and excitement coursed through me. It felt like the start of something big.
After an hour-long drive, I finally arrived at the campus dorms, my excitement bubbling over. I parked the car and hurried to my dorm, practically bursting with anticipation. As I unlocked the door, I noticed a few boxes outside Mikasa’s room—she must’ve just gotten here too. I grabbed the handle, flung the door open, and jumped inside, shouting, “HIII ROOMIE!”
But the smile fell from my face instantly. It wasn’t Mikasa standing there—it was Eren.
“What the actual hell?” I blurted, freezing in the doorway.
“The fuck?” he shot back, looking just as startled as me.
We stared at each other, equally confused by what was happening. "Excuse me, but why are you in Mikasa's room?" I asked with more sass than intended.
"Mikasa?" he echoed, clearly baffled. "This is my room. Dorm 207," he added, grabbing a piece of paper from the desk nearby to show me.
I quickly glanced at my own dorm assignment. There it was—207, plain as day.
"Oh, hell no—“
Call incoming
Just as my brain started to melt down, my phone buzzed. Mikasa’s name flashed on the screen, and I picked up, not even bothering As a greeting. “Where are you, and why is Eren in your room?” I asked, my voice tight with frustration.
On the other end, Mikasa sounded just as bewildered. “Okay, so I was just as surprised when I saw Armin in your dorm, but we figured it out. There was a mix-up with the dorm assignments, and... they can’t change it.”
"WHAT?!" I screamed into the phone, my frustration boiling over. Before I could say anything else, Eren grabbed my phone and echoed my shock with his own confusion, “What?!” He put the phone on speaker
“What the hell do you mean they can’t change it? School hasn’t even started! They have to fix it because I am definitely not rooming with Ms. Control Freak over here,” Eren said, looking me up and down with an irritating look.
I clenched my fists, my patience hanging by a thread. The urge to slap him right then and there was overwhelming. My relationship with Eren was… complicated, to say the least. To keep it short, we never saw eye to eye—we couldn’t stand each other’s lifestyles, let alone the idea of sharing a space.
I see myself as someone organized, who knows how to navigate life with a clear plan, confident in my ability to talk things through and stand my ground when needed. Eren, on the other hand, is the complete opposite—laid-back, spontaneous, and annoyingly carefree. He’s the type who thinks life is meant to be lived without schedules or rules. It’s no wonder we clash constantly; we’re like oil and water.
After a few more minutes of heated back-and-forth, Mikasa’s call finally ended, leaving me standing there, dumbfounded, in the middle of what was now our dorm. Eren ran a hand down his face, visibly irritated. I had no idea how we were supposed to survive this.
“Well, if we’re going to make this work, I gotta lay out some ground rules,” Eren announced, and I could already tell this was going to be a joke. “You don’t bother me, I don’t bother you. Simple as that.” He extended his hand for me to shake as if we were closing some grand deal.
The audacity. “When did we agree on you being the boss?” I shot back.
He groaned, rubbing his temples. “Please don’t make this harder than it already is,” he muttered, giving me an exasperated look.
That only fueled my annoyance. I started rattling off about chores, noise levels, and a bunch of other things that he would absolutely need to respect if we were going to survive living together.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m gonna stop you right there. Today’s already stressful enough, and I don’t need you adding to my headache,” he said, waving a hand dismissively in my face. The nerve of this guy.
Before I could snap back, he grabbed my shoulders, physically moved me out of his room, and shut the door behind me. “THIS CONVERSATION ISN’T OVER!” I yelled. Silence. Nothing but silence from the other side.
I groaned in frustration, knowing there was no point in arguing with him right now. Instead, I turned my attention to hauling my things inside before it got too dark.
After I finally finished unpacking and getting everything in order, I belly-flopped onto my bed, exhausted and frustrated. All the perfect plans I had for this year were already crumbling thanks to Eren. Sharing a dorm with him was the last thing I expected, and it felt like everything was ruined before it even began.
Now, all I could do was hope things didn’t spiral further out of control. I just hoped—for my sanity—that living with him wouldn’t be as bad as I feared. But deep down, I had a sinking feeling that hope might be too much to ask for.
-
It’s been almost a month since the semester started, and things have been... weird. But weirdly enough, calm—for now. I haven’t seen or heard much from Eren lately, and honestly, I’m not complaining. The only thing that really pisses me off is that he’s a total slob. It’s such a turn-off, especially for someone who looks the way he does. Some nights, I have to wear noise-canceling headphones just to sleep because of his loud, never-ending gaming sessions. I’ve tried to let it slide, but if I have to endure this for an entire year, I’m seriously doubting whether I’ll make it out alive.
“How’s it with Armin?” I asked Mikasa, picking at my food. We decided to hang out after classes, needing some downtime.
“Oh my god, it’s so nice,” she gushed. “We cook together most of the time, split chores, he helps me study when I need it, and every week, we watch these awful reality TV shows together and laugh our heads off.” She kept going, laughing as she spoke, until she noticed my deadpan expression.
“Oh... shit. My bad,” she giggled, trying—and failing—to hide her amusement.
I rolled my eyes at Mikasa’s enthusiasm. “Well, how is it with Eren?” she asked, taking a sip of her drink.
I sighed dramatically, stabbing at my food before taking a bite. “The complete opposite of your story,” I muttered.
“That bad?” she asked, eyebrows raised.
“Oh yeah, that bad,” I said, launching into a full-blown rant about all the irritating things Eren had done over the past month. It felt good to let it all out. “Like, I don’t get what girls see in him. He’s just a pretty face, that’s it.”
Mikasa nodded, somewhat amused. “Well, Eren’s always been laidback about most things. He always says his charm is his best quality,” she shrugged, going back to her meal.
I scoffed. “Yeah, sure. Like that guy has any charm.”
The rest of the day passed by, and after our little venting session, Mikasa drove me back to the dorm. Just as I was getting out, she leaned over. “Oh, before you go—are you going to Jean’s party tonight?”
Ugh. A party. I could already feel the exhaustion creeping in just thinking about it. “Probably not. I’ve got a lot of stuff to do at home, and let’s be real—the chances of Eren being there are ridiculously high, so... yeah, I’m good,” I said with a shrug.
Mikasa looked disappointed, but I could see she understood. “Fine, but you have to go to the next one with me. Promise?”
I laughed and held out my pinky. “Deal. I’ll be there, I swear.”
She grinned and wrapped her pinky around mine. “Deal,” she said with a smile before driving off.
I quickly headed up to my dorm, pushing the door open with a sigh of relief. Looks like Eren’s not here. He’s probably already left for Jean’s party, I thought, grateful for the peace and quiet. A whole night to myself. Finally.
I grabbed a snack and a drink from the kitchen, then wandered into my room. As I put on some music, the weight of the week started to melt away. I removed my makeup and prepared for my long-overdue everything shower. The kind of self-care I hadn’t indulged in for weeks.
After soaking under the warm water for what felt like forever, I got out, wrapped myself in a towel, and began my skincare routine, singing along to my favorite songs. It felt amazing to be alone and completely in my element.
With my skincare finally on my face, I debated whether to stay up and do something productive or just crash for the night. Nah, I’ll just sleep, I decided, already feeling the exhaustion creep in. I slipped into a pair of soft sleeping shorts and a baggy tank top, sinking into my bed.
As soon as my head hit the pillow, I closed my eyes and drifted into a deep, peaceful slumber, relishing the calm while it lasted.
BANG
I jolted upright in bed, my heart racing as I glanced around, trying to figure out what had startled me awake. What the hell? I whispered to myself, straining to listen. It could be Eren-I really hoped it was, because the alternative was too terrifying to consider. But then I heard something worse: muffled laughter, followed by unmistakable kissing sounds. Oh no. Scratch that, I hope it's a killer.
Eren's door slammed shut, and I clung to the hope that maybe-just maybe-it would all stop there. I tried to force myself back to sleep, convincing myself that I could ignore it. I was so close to drifting off again when the low moans started, followed by soft curses. My eyes flew open, and I groaned into my pillow, Please, for the love of all things, let this nightmare end.
It didn't. The sounds got louder, the bed rhythmically slamming against the wall. I grabbed my headphones, shoved them over my ears, and stuffed a pillow on top of my head, trying to block out the never-ending torture happening just feet away. I lay there, my regret over every life decision that led me here slowly consuming me. This was going to be a very, very long night.
So bright. I blinked against the harsh light streaming through the window, rubbing my eyes. Barely an hour of sleep after a night of absolute torture. The girl had left about twenty minutes ago, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel comfortable enough to fall back asleep. Coffee. That’s what I need.
Dragging myself out of bed, I slipped into my slippers to avoid the cold floor and trudged to the kitchen. The coffee was brewing, and I was almost in the clear when I heard Eren’s door creak open. Groaning internally, I rolled my eyes and tried to hurry, hoping to avoid whatever awkward conversation was coming. I grabbed a mug from the cupboard and fished the creamer out of the fridge. Footsteps approached behind me.
“Hey, roomie,” Eren’s voice chimed, way too cheerful for my liking. Don’t punch him, don’t punch him, I chanted silently, eyes fixed on the coffee machine, willing it to finish faster.
“Wow, you look horrible,” he commented, pouring himself a cup with a grin. I shot him a glare.
“Yeah, thanks. I didn’t get any sleep last night,” I muttered, finally pouring my coffee and moving to the table to prepare it. Eren laughed, probably remembering the obnoxious noise from last night. This annoying asshole.
“Didn’t realize you were here. My bad” he said, not sounding sorry at all while grabbing the creamer next to me, a smirk still playing on his lips.
I am not going to survive this year.
“I don’t care what you do, just have some fucking decency,” I shot back, sipping my coffee as I walked back to my room. I could feel Eren’s eyes on me, but I didn’t turn around. Shutting the door behind me, I set the mug on my nightstand and groaned at the thought of the day ahead. No sleep, two essays due, and classes to sit through. Today is going to suck.
I dragged myself to the bathroom, got dressed in something comfy but cute, and grabbed my things. Heading back to the kitchen, I filled a water bottle and rinsed out my coffee mug—then, Unwillingly, Eren’s dirty dishes too. Just as I finished, I heard his door creak open again. Speak of the devil.
“Thanks for washing those,” he said nonchalantly, rummaging through the fridge. “I probably wasn’t going to do it anyway.”
I rolled my eyes, biting back a retort. As I dried my hands with a paper towel, he asked, “Want me to give you a ride to school?”
I blinked, caught off guard. What? “No, I’m good,” I replied sarcastically. “I wouldn’t want to deal with the dirty looks from all your fangirls.”
“Ha, ha, ha,” he responded dryly, clearly unamused.
Great start to the day, I thought as I grabbed my bag and headed for the door, not sparing him another glance.
Eren’s footsteps echoed behind me as I stormed off. “You don’t have to back down on my offer—it still stands,” he called out, clearly amused. His voice alone made my blood boil.
Without even turning to face him, I snapped, “You know what offer would actually be great? How about you shut the fuck up at night, pick up your own shit, clean your own damn dishes, and maybe grow some balls while you’re at it?” My voice trembled with frustration, the words flying out before I could even stop them.
I expected him to have some snarky comeback. And, of course, he didn’t disappoint. Eren rolled his eyes, scoffing like my words barely registered. But then, in an instant, he grabbed my shoulder and spun me around to face him.
“Oh yeah? Let’s talk about you,” he shot back, his voice louder, angrier. “How about you stop having a stick up your ass and acting like you’re my damn mother, stop meddling in my business, and just fucking stop being a damn control freak if a fucking cup isn’t placed in the right spot”
We stood there in the middle of the parking lot, glaring at each other like two wild animals ready to tear each other apart. The tension was palpable, our frustrations bubbling to the surface in a messy, chaotic explosion.
I laughed, but it wasn’t out of amusement—it was out of sheer, exhausted frustration. “I get it, you want that laid-back college life, no responsibilities, carefree and easygoing? That’s not me. I can’t live like that Yeager, so you just have to fucking deal with me.”
I stepped closer, my eyes boring into his. “And if you can’t handle it, then go dorm with someone else. Hell, sneak out and find someone willing to put up with your shit. I don’t care. But don’t expect me to change.”
Without giving him a chance to respond, I turned on my heel and walked away, refusing to look back. Let him stew in his own arrogance. I was done.
After that intense moment with Eren, I decided to walk to campus alone. I didn’t care how long it took, I just needed to cool off, to breathe. The crisp morning air helped, but the frustration still lingered, swirling around in my head. By the time I made it to my first class, I was already dreading being there. But skipping wasn’t an option—I needed to do well. I sighed, taking out my things and finding a corner seat, hoping to be invisible for the rest of the period.
As I was pulling out my notebook, I felt someone sit down next to me. Turning to see who it was, I saw Armin, offering me a friendly smile. "Hey, no one’s sitting here, right?" he asked politely.
“No, don’t worry, you’re good,” I replied, grateful for the company. At least Armin was easy to deal with.
The class started, and after a while, we were given some time to work individually. I dove into my assignments, trying to focus, when Armin spoke up. "You and Eren got into an argument, didn’t you?"
I froze mid-sentence, turning to face him. “How do you know?” I asked, surprised but not totally shocked. Eren had a big mouth.
Armin stopped typing and glanced at me. "He picked me up this morning, and I could tell something was off. When I asked him what was wrong, he kind of… exploded about you. He was pretty worked up."
I groaned internally, rubbing my forehead. "God, I hate him," I muttered. "I don’t get why you’re friends with him. He’s like the devil himself."
Armin chuckled softly, shaking his head. "He’s not all that bad, I promise."
I scoffed at that, going back to my paper. "Then what do I do? I can’t even be in the same room as him without wanting to strangle him."
Armin turned back to me, a thoughtful look on his face. "You just need to give him a chance. Yeah, he can be frustrating, but I swear, if you get past that, you might actually find something you like about him."
I rolled my eyes, thinking, Yeah, like when he shuts up. But I couldn’t help considering what Armin was saying. He made it sound so easy like Eren was just misunderstood or something. Still, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to give him a chance when he seemed to go out of his way to drive me crazy.
I sighed, “I don’t know, Armin. It feels like I’m the only one trying here. He doesn’t give me any reason to want to make this work.”
Armin smiled sympathetically. "Maybe he’s not great at showing it, but trust me, he’s not as indifferent as he seems."
I nodded half-heartedly, not fully convinced. As much as I hated to admit it, Armin had a point—there had to be something redeemable about Eren. I just wasn’t sure I was willing to dig deep enough to find it.
Just as I was about to respond to Armin, the bell rang, cutting our conversation short. We both quickly packed up our things. “Just think about what I said, okay? Let me know how it goes,” Armin said as we parted ways. I nodded, though I wasn’t sure how to even start. We said our goodbyes and headed in opposite directions to our next classes.
Finally, lunch arrived. Mikasa had texted me earlier to meet at the cafeteria, so I made my way over. Spotting her quickly, I saw her waving her arm at me from across the room. I hurried over and sat next to her, taking the seat at the edge of the table. “Hey guys,” I greeted with a smile, placing my things down. The usual group was there—Mikasa, Sasha, Annie, Connie, and Niccolo.
As soon as I sat down, we were all deep in conversation, laughing about the most random things. Connie groaned dramatically, slumping over the table. “Ugh, I’m totally going to fail Mr. Ackerman’s class. It's like he’s speaking some alien language,” he grumbled, earning a round of laughter from the group.
Sasha, in her usual fashion, was busy shoveling food into her mouth as she snuggled up next to Niccolo. "Yeah, I don’t know how to help you with that, buddy," she managed to say between bites, drawing more laughs.
Just as we were settling into our groove, Jean, Armin, and Eren walked up to the table. Jean slid in next to Connie, while Armin took the seat next to Annie, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. Eren, to my mild annoyance, sat down next to Armin, but I tried to ignore him, focusing on my drink instead.
“Why the hell did you guys take so long?” Connie asked, raising an eyebrow as he leaned back in his chair.
“Don’t look at me,” Jean quickly replied, jabbing a thumb toward Armin and Eren. “These two took forever talking about something.”
Talking? About what? I wondered, sipping my drink to cover my curiosity. I glanced briefly at Armin, who seemed to give me a look that said, I’ll tell you later. Eren, on the other hand, was focused on picking at his food, not making eye contact with anyone. Whatever it was, I could feel tension lingering between us, like unfinished business hanging in the air. But right now, surrounded by friends and laughter, I wasn’t sure I wanted to deal with it.
Mikasa squeezed my arm, her excitement contagious. "Oh my god, we need to go do something soon! I’ve been dying for some girl time." Before I could respond, Sasha perked up, practically bouncing in her seat. “Ooh, ooh, me and Annie too!” she added loudly, making Annie chuckle as she gave a small nod of agreement. Mikasa smiled and nodded, and we all quickly made plans for next week. It felt good to look forward to something light and fun, especially after the chaos of the morning.
As we continued talking, I found myself glancing over at Eren, who was in deep conversation with Armin and Annie. Whatever they were talking about, it seemed serious, their faces unusually focused. I looked away quickly, not wanting to be caught staring, but I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling of curiosity.
“Shit, time’s almost up,” Niccolo suddenly announced, snapping us all out of our conversations. Everyone checked their phones for the time. Some of us had one more class left, while others, like me, were done for the day. I silently celebrated the fact that I didn’t have any more obligations. We all began packing up and saying our goodbyes, and I decided to take the long way home, wanting to enjoy a walk with my music.
While I was about to start walking away from campus, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I pulled out one earbud and turned around, already dreading who it might be. Of course, it was Eren.
I sighed and, without a word, put my earbud back in, continuing to walk. But he wasn’t letting me go that easily. "Wait," he called after me. I stopped but didn’t bother turning around this time. “What?” I asked, my tone flat, trying to keep the distance between us.
"Come on, I’ll give you a ride," he offered. I shot back with a quick, “No thanks,” and started walking again. I really didn’t want to deal with him right now.
But then he grabbed my arm and spun me around, clearly more frustrated than before. “God, if you keep walking, I swear...” he muttered, closing his eyes for a second as if trying to control his temper.
I yanked my arm out of his grip and crossed them over my chest. “What is it, Eren?” I asked, exasperated.
“Let me give you a ride as an apology. For this morning,” he said, softer now, looking at me more earnestly. “We literally live together.” I stared at him, weighing my options. I really wanted to say no, to just keep walking and avoid the whole situation. But Armin’s words from earlier crept into my mind. Maybe this could be the start of finding that “something” Armin seemed so sure I’d like about Eren.
“Fine,” I muttered, feeling like I might regret this decision but going along with it anyway.
He led the way to his car, and we both got in, the tension settling in as soon as the doors closed. The awkwardness between us was suffocating, and I instantly regretted not just walking home. The car felt too small, like the air was thicker, and the silence was far from comfortable. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, and rested my head against the seat, turning to look out the window. The sound of the engine humming was the only noise, and it only made the silence feel heavier.
The longer we drove in that silence, the more anxious I felt. My fingers tapped lightly on my knee as I tried to distract myself, but all I could think about was how I just wanted this ride to be over. I thought about breaking the silence but I didn’t even know where to start. Every second dragged on, my thoughts running wild, wondering what he was thinking, and why he insisted on driving me. But mostly, I wondered how much longer this silent, awkward drive would last.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, stealing a quick glance at Eren out of the corner of my eye. He had his hands gripping the wheel, his knuckles turning slightly white, and his jaw was clenched like he was holding something back. I could tell he wanted to say something, but knowing Eren, he’d probably just stay stubbornly quiet. The silence between us stretched until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“So… you’ve been pretty quiet,” I said, breaking the ice, my voice sounding a little shakier than I wanted it to. I didn’t even know why I was trying to make small talk. Maybe it was the tension, or maybe it was what Armin said earlier, not sure.
He didn’t respond immediately, and for a second, I thought he was going to keep ignoring me. Then, without looking at me, he spoke. “I didn’t mean to piss you off this morning,” he muttered, his voice low, almost like he was trying not to be overheard by his own thoughts.
That caught me off guard. I didn’t expect an apology, not from Eren. He usually doubled down or shrugged things off like they didn’t matter. “You didn’t piss me off,” I said, almost reflexively, but even I knew that was a lie.
He let out a frustrated sigh, shaking his head. “Don’t lie. I know I did. I get it. I’m messy, I’m loud, and I don’t pick up after myself. But it’s not like you’re perfect either, you know?” His voice had an edge to it, but there was something softer underneath, something that almost sounded like guilt.
I didn’t know how to respond to that. Part of me wanted to keep arguing, to tell him he had no idea how difficult he made things for me, but another part of me wanted to understand why he was even bothering to apologize now. I opened my mouth to speak but then closed it, feeling the lump in my throat rising.
“I didn’t say I was perfect,” I finally admitted. “I’m just… tired, Eren. Tired of all of it.” My voice was quiet, almost defeated, as I stared out the window again. “I didn’t come here to play house with you or deal with this constant tension between us. It’s exhausting.”
The car fell back into silence, but this time, it wasn’t the same awkward, heavy silence as before. It felt different like both of us were waiting for the other to say something real for the first time.
Eren’s grip on the steering wheel loosened a little. “I know,” he said softly. “I didn’t expect to… I don’t know, live like this either. I thought it’d be different. Easier.” His voice trailed off for a moment, and I could see him wrestling with his thoughts.
I turned to look at him, my eyebrows knitting together. “Then why do you act like you don’t care? Like none of this matters to you?” The frustration was clear in my voice now, bubbling up from everything I’d been holding back for so long.
Eren took a deep breath. “I do care,” he said quietly. “It’s just… I’m not good at showing it. Not with all this other stuff going on.” He paused, glancing at me quickly before looking back at the road. “There’s more happening than just you and me fighting over dishes and who’s more responsible. I’ve got my own shit to figure out.”
His words caught me off guard again. I knew Eren had his own struggles, but he’d never been the type to talk about them. He always kept things bottled up until they exploded in moments like this morning.
For a second, I considered asking him what was really going on, but something held me back. Maybe it was fear, or maybe it was just knowing that neither of us was ready to really open up yet. Instead, I let out a sigh and leaned back in the seat.
“We’ve got to figure something out,” I said quietly, almost more to myself than to him. “This isn’t working.”
“I know,” he replied, his voice just as soft. “I’ll try harder. But I need you to meet me halfway.”
The tension between us hadn’t completely disappeared, but for the first time in a long while, it felt like we were actually getting somewhere. Maybe it wasn’t a solution, not yet, but it was a step. And that was more than I’d expected when I got into the car with him.
I was going to answer back, but it seemed like we already made it back to the dorm, so I just kept quiet for now. After that talk, things started getting a bit more normal, I think? Even though we’d been giving each other space, I couldn’t help but wonder if things were really as normal as they seemed. The lack of arguing didn’t mean things were fixed, and I knew ignoring the tension wouldn’t make it go away. I sighed, brushing away the thoughts of Eren as my phone buzzed again with more messages from the girls’ group chat. Tonight was supposed to be a break from everything, a night to let loose and enjoy myself, but my mind was stuck on him.
MIKA: Okayyy are you guys ready??
MIKA: Omg, we need to take a ton of pictures tonight!
Me: YES, just gotta put my shoes on
SASH: Girl, I’m already dressed and looking too fine, Annie is with me and also ready to goooo.
HISTORIA: Ymir and I are ready as well, and we’re bringing drinks for pregame 🥂.
MIKA: Okay here’s how it's going to go, First I pick up Sasha and Annie, then Historia and Ymir, then lastly Eren’s lover! Okay, we are good to go🥳
Me: Excuse me who are you picking up last?
HISTORIA: ooo did we miss anything??
YMIR: Spill now.
MIKA: 🙄
MIKA: yk we are going to talk about it
Me: Yeah I think I’m going to make a rain check for this girl's night
MIKA: No you're not ☺️, Leaving my house right now, I’ll be there in 10 so get your cute ass ready 💋.
I rolled my eyes, but a small grin tugged at my lips. If anyone could pull me out of a funk, it was Mikasa and the rest of the girls. Despite the swirling thoughts about Eren, I knew tonight would be fun, and maybe that’s what I needed to stop overthinking for a bit.
Grabbing my jacket and bag, I quickly checked my reflection in the mirror. Satisfied with my outfit and makeup, I headed to the kitchen for a quick snack—no way was I about to drink on an empty stomach. I grabbed a bag of chips, poured some into a bowl, and leaned against the counter while snacking. As I reached for another handful, a few chips slipped through my fingers and scattered on the floor. I sighed and bent down to pick them up.
Just then, Eren’s door swung open. I froze, hearing his voice cut through the silence. He was on the phone.
“Armin, I’m serious about this,” he said, clearly frustrated, pacing in the living room. Armin’s voice was faint, but I could still make out his response.
“Okay, okay, I get it. But you’re acting like it’s a big deal. She’s just a person, man. Talk to her like an adult,” Armin laughed.
“I swear I’ll come over and beat the shit out of you,” Eren replied in an eerily calm tone.
“Alright, alright, sorry,” Armin muttered.
There was a long pause, and then Eren spoke again, his voice quieter this time. “I don’t know, man. Ever since that conversation in the car, I’ve had this weird feeling in my chest. It’s driving me insane. That’s why I’ve been ignoring her.”
My heart nearly stopped. Was he talking about me?
I stayed frozen, crouched on the floor, not wanting him to know I’d overheard. But of course, the universe had other plans.
RING. RING. RING.
My phone blared to life, Mikasa’s name lighting up the screen. I panicked, fumbling to silence it, but it was too late. Eren’s footsteps stopped, and I could feel him staring at me. Slowly, I stood up and turned to face him. His expression was a mix of shock and embarrassment as if he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t.
“I-I thought you left,” he stammered, hanging up his own call.
“Uh, yeah… I was just about to.” I grabbed my things in a rush, my mind racing for an exit strategy.
“Wait, hold on,” Eren said, his voice softer now, as if he wanted to explain.
I stopped but didn’t turn around. “Look, I didn’t mean to overhear your conversation. I’m sorry. Can we talk about it later? I really need to go.”
“Yeah, sure,” he muttered, sounding just as awkward as I felt.
Without another word, I bolted for the door, not daring to look back.
As soon as I was out the door, my heart was racing. I couldn’t believe I had just overheard Eren talking about me like that, and worse, he knew I’d heard. The whole situation felt surreal. I was barely processing his words, let alone my own feelings about what I’d just witnessed. That “weird feeling in his chest”? What did that even mean? And why did it bother him so much? My mind was spinning as I rushed down the stairs and out of the building.
Mikasa’s car pulled up just in time, the headlights flashing as she waved at me from the driver’s seat. I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the awkwardness that was still lingering from the interaction with Eren. Getting into the car, I forced a smile, hoping she wouldn’t immediately sense that something was off.
“Ready to party?” she asked, her usual excitement shining through. The girls in the backseat echoed her enthusiasm with cheers and chatter, making it impossible not to smile at least a little.
“Yeah, totally,” I replied, though my voice felt far from convincing. I tried to immerse myself in the energy of the car, but Eren’s words kept replaying in my mind. Why was he feeling weird? Why had he been ignoring me because of it?
As we drove off, I leaned back in my seat, glancing out the window, hoping the night out would help me forget about it for now. But deep down, I knew this wasn’t something that would just go away.
“Here, drink this!” Sasha said, thrusting a cup into my hand. I took it, confused. “Wait, we’re drinking already?” I glanced around at the group, noticing everyone nodding enthusiastically—everyone except Mikasa, of course.
Without much hesitation, I took a sip, letting the alcohol work its magic and pushing my worries to the back of my mind. A few more minutes passed, and we finally parked.
“AHH, we’re here!” Mikasa squealed, grabbing my hand and jumping excitedly. We’d decided to hit up one of the most popular bars in the city for our girls’ night out, and with the alcohol starting to hit me, I was just as excited as she was.
After flashing our IDs, we stepped inside, the heavy bass of the music pulsing through our bodies. Our first stop was the bar, and the night took off from there—two hours of drinking, laughing, dancing, and just letting loose. Eventually, we stumbled to a booth at the back of the bar, another round of drinks in hand.
“Damn, Annie, I didn’t know you could dance like that! Armin is one lucky guy,” Sasha teased, making Annie laugh and wave her hand dismissively.
“Omg, you know what we should talk about?” Historia slurred, clearly tipsy. We all turned to her, curious. Her gaze landed on me. “You,” she said, pointing a wobbly finger in my direction.
“RIGHT! What’s up with this ‘Eren’s lover’ thing? Are you two dating or what?” Ymir asked, smirking as she took a sip of her drink.
I scoffed, “NO.”
“Not yet,” Mikasa added, grinning mischievously.
I groaned and put my head down on the table. “How many times do I have to say it? It’s complicated. We’re basically ignoring each other right now, and when we do talk, it’s just *hiccup* awkward.”
Mikasa leaned in, her voice soft but serious. “Look, I’ve known Eren my whole life. That man is crazy about you.”
“Yeah, crazy enough to drive me crazy,” I mumbled to myself, rolling my eyes.
But to my surprise, Annie spoke up. “I gotta agree with Mikasa. I’ve seen it myself.”
I lifted my head and looked at her, surprised. “Wait, what do you mean?”
“Ooo, this is getting good,” Sasha said, leaning in closer to Historia, while Ymir pulled Historia closer to herself as if they were settling in for some drama.
Annie smiled slyly. “Remember the day he offered to drive you home? That was because Armin and I pushed him to do it. He was nervous about asking you himself.”
I blinked in disbelief. “Nervous? About me?”
Sasha grinned. “Well, well, seems like Eren’s not as smooth as he pretends to be.”
The whole table erupted in laughter, but my mind was spinning. Eren, nervous? Over me? I wasn’t sure what to make of that, but it added a layer to things I hadn’t seen before.
“You know what would solve all your problems with Yeager?” Ymir asked, a mischievous glint in her eye. I turned to her, my face full of confusion. “You two just need to fuck.”
I choked on my drink, coughing as I shook my head. Well, that sobered me up real quick. “No, no, absolutely not. That’s not gonna happen,” I said, wiping my mouth with a napkin.
“Why not?” Sasha chimed in, wide-eyed with curiosity.
“Yeah, I kind of agree with Ymir,” Historia said, nodding.
Annie, who had been quiet for a while, just smirked and shrugged. “Makes sense to me.”
Great, now I was officially cornered by my friends, all focused on my complicated relationship with Eren. The rest of the night became a blur of drinks and conversations about him—lucky me. By then, I had switched to water, trying to sober up before the night ended.
Around 2 a.m., we decided to call it quits. Ymir, who could hold her liquor like a pro, drove us all home. After she dropped me off, I waved my goodbyes, rolling my eyes at their teasing “good luck” wishes.
Climbing the stairs to my apartment, my mind replayed the night’s conversations, particularly Ymir’s blunt suggestion: You guys need to fuck. I shook my head, trying to push away the ridiculous idea. “Absolutely not,” I muttered to myself.
I unlocked the door quietly, stepping inside. The place was dark, which meant Eren had probably gone to bed. I sighed with relief—no awkward encounters tonight. But as I flicked on the kitchen lights, I jumped at the sight of Eren sprawled on the couch, surrounded by empty beer cans.
A small scream escaped me, causing him to stir and sit up groggily, rubbing his eyes.
“Oh my god, you scared me,” I gasped, my heart still racing.
Eren blinked a few times, looking around before his gaze settled on me. “Sorry,” he mumbled, still half-asleep.
I stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do next, the tension in the air thickening as the awkwardness between us returned.
“What time is it?” he asked, standing up and stretching, giving me a glimpse of his stomach. I quickly looked away, trying to ignore the sudden flutter in my chest.
“2:10,” I muttered quietly. He groaned while picking up the empty beer cans, and tossing them into the bin on the other side of the kitchen.
“You were out for that long?” he asked, his tone a mix of curiosity and irritation.
“Why does it matter to you?” I shot back, crossing my arms defensively. My eyes dropped to the floor, trying to avoid looking at him.
“I’ve been waiting for you to get back. I need to explain that phone call… it’s been eating at me.”
Ugh, no, please. Not tonight.
“Can we do this tomorrow? I’m exhausted,” I said, slipping off my heels, realizing I’d forgotten to leave them at the front door.
“Just listen to me,” he said, ignoring my plea as he launched into his explanation, rambling on about the call. But my mind was elsewhere—on Ymir’s stupid suggestion. I don’t want to sleep with him. He’s irresponsible, reckless, irritating, and infuriating. And his stupid, gorgeous face. His perfect lips. Wait—no. Stop it.
“Are you even listening?” Eren’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. He was leaning forward now, his arm resting on the table, his face inches from mine.
“Huh?” I blinked, trying to focus.
He sighed in frustration, dragging his hand down his face. “You’re infuriating, you know that?”
I shrugged, meeting his gaze. “I’ve heard.”
The tension between us was unbearable, thick enough to suffocate. We just stared at each other, the silence stretching until it felt like something had to break.
Finally, I stood up, breaking eye contact. “Well, if this conversation’s over, I’m going to my room.”
I turned to leave, but before I could take another step, Eren grabbed my arm and spun me around. Without warning, his hands cupped my face, and in an instant, his lips crashed into mine.
The frustration and tension between us melted away, replaced by a sudden surge of desire. I melted into him, my fingers instinctively tangling in his hair as the kiss deepened. It was filled with passion, with urgency. Eren’s hands slid to my waist, pulling me even closer as the heat between us intensified. It felt good—too good.
Wait, no. This isn’t right.
I pulled back, my lips still tingling from the lingering sensation of his. Looking up at him, I saw the confusion in his eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asked softly, his hand resting on my hip.
“N-No… this can’t happen,” I stammered, taking a step back, though I already regretted leaving his warmth. “This whole situation is confusing enough, and this… this will only make it worse.”
He sighed, his gaze still locked on mine, intense and unwavering. The silence between us stretched, awkward, and charged with the things we weren’t saying. Slowly, Eren stepped forward, brushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear before cupping my shoulders and pulling me in once again.
But this time, it wasn’t for a kiss on the lips.
He kissed my forehead, soft and slow, then my nose, my cheek, my jaw, and finally my neck. Each kiss was deliberate, lingering, and my breath hitched as his lips moved lower. His hands followed, trailing down my body with maddening precision. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. Eren was intoxicating, overwhelming every corner of my mind and soul.
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he whispered against my neck, his voice sending a shiver down my spine. His kisses grew more intense, and I snapped back to reality, realizing just how deep I was falling.
Oh god.
The kisses trailed higher once again, prompting me to wrap my arms around his neck. He stared at me, his voice barely above a whisper, "Do you want this?" Without thinking, I blurted, "Fuck yes."
A smile played on his lips as he claimed mine once more, his need growing with every passing second. Just as I was about to pull back and suggest we move to his room, he deepened the kiss. His hands gripped my ass, lifting me effortlessly as he strode towards my room. This Fucker. The door slammed shut behind us, and he laid me down on the bed, breaking the kiss to gaze down at me. I panted, my heart pounding in anticipation of what was to come.
"God, you drive me crazy, you know that," he murmured, his lips returning to my neck in a passionate kiss. I couldn't help the small moan that escaped me, lost as I was in his touch, his words, his games. Maybe I should have been embarrassed by how easily he got under my skin, but at that moment, I simply didn't care.
He pulled back yet again, leaving me breathless and wanting. Before I could even process my thoughts, he'd stripped off his shirt and tossed it across my room. Any words I might have had abandoned me, leaving me staring at his incredible physique in stunned silence. "Wow, all of this finally gets you to shut up for a second, maybe I should’ve fucked you earlier" he teased, pulling me upright and claiming my mouth in another scorching kiss. His hands found the zipper of my dress and slid it down, the sound echoing in the room.
He slipped the dress over my head, his hands gentle as he eased me back onto the bed. "Yeah, you should’ve," I finally managed to retort, my voice muffled against his lips.
His hands moved behind my back once more, but this time, his focus was on my bra. With a practiced touch, he unfastened it with a single hand. "How many girls have you done that to?" I teased, trying to sound collected despite the flutter in my chest. "Does it matter?" he countered, his voice low and husky. "The only person I'm going to do it for from now on is you baby."
He slid the bra straps down my arms, his fingers grazing my skin and sending shivers through me. As he bared me to his gaze, he leaned in, his lips tracing a path from my collarbone to the swell of my right breast. "Oh, gosh, Eren," I breathed, his warm tongue setting my nerves ablaze. He didn't neglect my left side, his hand cupping and squeezing my flesh as his mouth worked its magic.
My mind was short-circuited, overwhelmed by the pleasure coursing through me. I couldn't believe how my day had derailed, from waking up alone to Eren worshiping my body. He finally lifted his head, his eyes gleaming with desire as he stood and licked his lips. "God, you're gorgeous," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to my cheek, then my lips, the contact making me ache for more.
My hand instinctively reached for him, finding the hard length of his erection straining against his pants. He groaned into my mouth, his hips rolling into my touch as he pressed himself against me. "F-Fuck," he panted, laughter threading through the curse. He guided my hand deeper into his hard length, then higher to explore his chest, his nipples peeking under my touch, then lastly to his lips, where he pressed light kisses to the middle of my palm. At that moment, I knew I was a goner.
He gently laid my hand back down to my chest. Standing upright, he began to unbutton his pants, swiftly removing them. For a moment, I felt no shame in staring. But then I met his gaze, his eyes watching my every move, and a flutter of anxiety rose in my chest. I wasn't sure where to look next.
He bent back down, his lips brushing against my jaw as his hands slid lower, to the hem of my panties. "May I?" he asked, his voice soft. I nodded without hesitation. "I need words, baby," he said, looking back at me with an intense heat in his eyes. "Yes," I replied quickly. "Yes, please."
Eren pressed one more sweet kiss to my lips, his mouth trailing lower and lower as he slid my panties down my legs. He moved lower, his face inches from mine, his lips pressing gentle kisses around my center. I felt myself growing wetter, my breath catching. "Eren, please," I begged, my fingers tangling in his hair.
"Please what? What do you need sweet girl?" Eren asked, looking up at me. His nicknames always made my heart flutter, even if I wouldn't admit it out loud. I took a deep breath, pushing past my embarrassment. "I need you to fuck me," I admitted. "I need you inside me."
He didn't make me wait for his response. With a groan, Eren's tongue slid along my center, sucking my clit into his mouth as he spread my legs wider. I cried out, my hips arching off the bed. "Holy shit, Eren, don't stop," I begged and whined, my fingers pulling him closer. He moaned against me, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure through me. I hadn't felt this good in years.
Eren didn’t stop, and it felt so fucking good. It just went on with his tongue for a few more minutes, my whole body in bliss, pulling me closer to my climax. “Fuck Eren, it's so good, your so good,” I said moving my hips to match his pace, moaning too loud. I bit my lip looking down at him between my legs, then I noticed his hips slowly rolling onto my bed. Before thinking anymore he pushed a finger into me, pushing it in and out. “Cumming, I’m cumming, FUCK!” I said whining, my knees buckled while going through my high. He left my core, all swollen and wet.
My eyes started to shut, exhaustion was hitting me pretty fast after calming down. “Hey hey,” Eren said kissing my face, his kisses were soft, yet filled with a fiery passion that sent shivers down my spine. “Just a little longer, Do sleep yet baby” I opened my eyes, “We still aren’t done yet”.
He chuckled, brushing a stray hair behind my ear. “You’re adorable when you’re sleepy.” I rolled my eyes playfully, but the affection in his gaze made my heart flutter.
Kissing me again, I could taste myself on him and I basically melted in his touch. Wrapping my arms around him, I savored the moment.
“I can’t wait any longer,” I whispered, my hands starting to trail down his abs, moving lower to his underwear band. Without hesitation, I pulled it down not wanting to wait, eager to finally feel him. He helps me and yanks it off of him. The sheer size of his dick made me worried on if it will fit or not. I gripped the tip softly and he bucks his hips instantly, “Shit” He said closing his eyes and encouraging me to continue.
While doing that I swiftly grabbed a condom from my drawer giving it to him. “You just have these laying in your room?” he spoke out while tearing it open, moving my hand away and rolling it on himself, “You never know, always gotta be safe,” I said while holding on to his arms for support. “Even during sex your just as a goody to shoes” making me frown, “Kidding, It’s cute baby” he smiled kissing me while rubbing his tip in between my cunt.
"I'll go in slow, okay? Let me know if it hurts," he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine.
"O-Okay," I managed to say, breathless and nervous.
He started with his tip, and we both groaned in pleasure. The pain was there, but it felt so good. Inch by inch, he went deeper, and my eyes rolled back with every second. His fingers gripped my thighs as he finally bottomed out. His face was in my neck, breathing heavily, and I had my hands around his back, ready for him to move.
Without a word, he started thrusting harder and harder. "F-Fuck," he gasped. "You're so t-tight and warm, fuckkk." He rolled his head back, grabbing both my legs and placing them on his shoulders.
"So good, fuck Eren!" I exclaimed, grabbing his face in my hands.
"Yeah? You like it when I fuck your greedy pussy like this?" he asked, thrusting harder. I couldn't breathe anymore. I nodded fast.
"Yes, yes, your fucking dick feels amazing, oh my god," I moaned uncontrollably.
I felt close, but I knew I never wanted this to end.
It was too much—overwhelming, yet I savored every second of it. My heart raced, and I found myself biting down on my finger, then my hand, my lip—anything to try and ground myself in that moment. But it was all too good, scrambling my brain, leaving no room for coherent thoughts or words. I was lost, completely consumed by the sensation, and I didn’t want to find my way back.
“S-Shit if you keep squeezing me like that I’ll fucking cum, ughh” he groaned picking up his pace basically making me lose all my air. “E-Eren mhmm!” Moans escaping my mouth every second I have a desire to open my mouth. “Yeah keep screaming my name out like that baby” he said pushing his head in the curve of my neck, his cock was abusing my cunt, I didn’t know if I can take this much longer.
The little noises he let out in my ears is what did it for me, making me cum hard and fast. My nails clawing erens back made me lose my mind, then seconds later I felt eren finish into the condom whining in my ear.
The room was filled with the sound of heavy breathing, both of us still tangled together, with Eren still inside me. I wrapped my arms around him, not wanting the moment to end, not wanting to face reality just yet. I had just slept with Eren Yeager—my roommate. Damn it, Ymir was right.
-
Ugh, it’s so bright. My tired eyes squinted against the morning light streaming through the curtains, forcing me awake. I looked around, making sure I was in my own room. It didn’t even matter—my head was pounding from last night. The girls’ night out, and… something else. Oh shit.
Slowly, I turned over, dreading what I’d see. There he was. Eren, peacefully asleep, in my bed, his head resting on my pillows. Someone pinch me.
I sank deeper into my sheets, replaying all the memories from last night. It felt like a fever dream. I had seen another side of Eren—one that I knew, deep down, I’d crave from now on. I’d wanted to give him a chance to fix our relationship, to build something like a healthy roommate bond, but now that he was half-naked in my bed, that plan had gone out the window.
My head throbbed as my mind clouded with thoughts of how things would play out. Could I let Eren into my heart, or was I too scared to face what that might mean? The overthinking only made my headache worse. I needed to stop spiraling.
Before I could dwell any further, I felt his arms wrap around me, making me freeze. The racing thoughts stopped. Eren’s breath tickled my hair as he pulled me closer, his hold gentle but firm, grounding me in the moment.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”Eren whispered into my ear, his lips trailing soft kisses along my shoulder. His breath was warm against my skin, and I felt the tension in my chest tighten. Do I tell him the truth? Should I just stay quiet for now?
“Just tell me,” he urged, pulling me closer. His touch was reassuring, but my thoughts were still a mess. I turned to face him, my heart pounding, and caught his gaze. He smiled at me, his lips brushing against mine before pulling back slightly to kiss the tip of my nose.
“Hey,” I said awkwardly, returning a soft smile.
“What’s up?” He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering for a moment. I hesitated again before asking, “What… what are we, Eren?”
His brows furrowed slightly, a flicker of confusion passing over his face. I braced myself, nervous about his response.
“Want me to be honest?” He traced a finger gently across my cheek. I nodded, holding my breath.
“I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “I know things have been messy, and I’ll work on it. I’ll fix my attitude, be better about my habits—whatever it takes. I just want to be with you. I’ll take you on real dates, buy you flowers, get your favorite food… just give me a chance.”
He wrapped his arms around me again, pulling me into a tight embrace. His words dissolved all my worries and hitting me hard, breaking down every wall I had tried to keep up. He was nervous, but honest, and I could feel the weight of his sincerity. I couldn’t help but giggle at his heartfelt confession.
“Yes,” I said, smiling up at him. “I’d love to give us a chance.”
Before I could react, he scooped me up effortlessly, laying me back onto the bed, positioning himself above me. His kisses trailed along my jawline, and I laughed as he showered my face with affection, feeling a warmth spread through me.
Later that morning, while lying tangled in the sheets, I grabbed my phone and sent Ymir a quick text: “You were right.”
I glanced over at Eren, his hand still intertwined with mine as he lazily traced circles on my skin.
Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.
#attack on titan#eren yeager#eren jaeger#book blog#smut#aot smut#eren smut#eren aot#eren jeager x reader#fanfic#anime#eren x reader#eren x you#aot fanfiction#aot#aot x reader#do not steal#love you all#oneshot#x reader#reading#read this#enemies to lovers#fluff
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PAC 18+ : their personal kinks
anyone friendly. lgbt friendly. future spouse, current partner, friend, stranger etc friendly. this is their kinks.
Pile One
signs: fifty shades of grey, outer banks. pussy waterpark.
off the bat, they have high standards. they are into high aesthetically pleasing woman, sex, sensuality and intimacy. they are into pleasure foreal foreal, and want to see you cum and wet the bet. they like to deeply connect, be vulnerable. they like mutualness in the bedroom, and need to feel connected and secure with sex. that is a kink for them. they may also have bathing suit kinks, camping/fishing/cabin/woods/camp/island/vacation sex kinks. they like beautiful woman though maybe siren looking woman, clean looking woman. woman who smell good, especially fruity scents. woman with nice jewelry, especially silver but gold too. woman with high worth in themself, and put themself together. they love kissing, calming, slow sex, foreplay, making out, the romantic part of sex, and love pretty titties. may love woman with naturally straight, or long hair.
their sexual KINKS are very toxic romantic games. they like the idea of having a high valuable, trophy of a woman. someone who's stable and beautiful and just thriving. and then their like the very smart, clever, masculine, controlling, detached man. they could also have business partner kinks, or mommy/daddy family kinks, where you guys work on serious life things together, good high status family. they have kinks about moving in with you, how it would be to live with you, have kids. but also the toxic dynamic of keeping you stuck, confused, making decisions. maybe making you jealous, doing sneaky things, being manipulative, or taking from you and you are just this delusional person. but you guys are where home is. even playing bad husband and little boy outside of the home. life responsibilities, and working together, like living together is a big kink of theirs. so thats probably why since they like stable woman they would want to do sneaky things and play that toxic masculine role someway. think about your person. wife/milf kink, and they would like if you would serve them as a wife. but you being their wife is still more about you, and your value as a woman. maybe stems from past relationship issues, mommy issues, relationship expectations issues, masculine/feminine roles etc.
They like to for you to come home for daddy, or daddy comes home to you. when they see you they just want to shut you up and stuff it in your mouth. come home to their wife, and fuck your face. they are the type of freaks, as you are being submissive and being their slut they want it to still be like "you my wife. you my baby" they like bedroom, house sex. they like the thought of after work sex. if you work with them, or live with them that's a bonus. they can stay with the same sexual partner, and try all type of new things. especially if they get comfortable enough to be so free. that dick is all yours baby. they also have kinks of like just being a business man, a free person, a person just on the go living life and your always there. you can come to them at night. your in your meetings, lunch break and your thinking about last night or what's to come when you see each other next. they like to see you undress, they like when you walk around with no panties on and easy access. they like cuddling, buddling up with you. even before bed. this is their kinks btw idk if its specifically for you, tell me if it shows up in you guys connection. they also may be into some sensory deprivation, on the romantic part, like depriving you from sex, or depriving themself, or when you do it to them. closing your legs, denying it when your near them and the tension could be strong. high kink on the value of yourself, and who you are as a independent woman to. if you don't live together, they like the idea of a woman bedroom and how its expressed like her sanctuary. especially living clean. they might have a lot of kinks to do with the pleasure of you on their dick, how your pussy feel, you pleasuring them, making each other nut. they have a exhibitionist kink where they want you and them to be naked, they like exposure, and fun times. they like other people probably knowing about it. they like to maybe show off their dick by choking you with it. they like choking in general though.
youtube
Pile Two
signs : p diddy. narcissist, misogynist.
they are into fun, free, carnal, raw, nasty animal sex. passion burning, any time anyplace, spread it open baby. they like hair, crazy hair days, even pubic/leg hair. they might like acne, strech marks, cellulite, natural pheromones, squirting/pee kinks. they like when people change positions. they like free spirited get into it, this is human nature type of sex. they like the adrenaline, and the anticipation. they like physical body to body sensations. they sexual kinks are kind of being a toxic man though, this is similar to pile ones. and its funny how i chose 2 strippers & a nude "available" woman as the pile pictures. they are really controlling. mentally controlling. they want to be in your head, control your head, make you feel emotions. they might want to be-little you and do them or betray you. not this is for them to you this is like some dark kinks of theres. they might be into heartbroken woman. they might be into hoes that turn hoes after hearbreak, or the kinky ness of the attachment, or emotional baggage that comes with after having sex with someone. this person may be highly experienced, and could be good in getting people in bed to have sex with them. their kink could be being able to get away with just picking whatever flower they want to out the garden, and conquesting them. they like to trap woman. im picking up dark energy, they could even take situations like p diddy and other tr... stuff freak offs or whatever relatable to their kinks. they could listen to music about get money fuck bitches. that seems a little gay to men and misogynistic.
they like the adrenaline to sex. even slight clothes, like v necks, bras, to imagine. they may like porn, or masturbating to sex. and when they do finally get some, and finally have a pussy delivered to them as a sneaky link, that's their kink. they like the chase too. and when it gets to the time they don't have time to be boring. they like it where you both are putting work in, like a workout. you might both be hot, sweaty, marks, its okay they want it all. toys involved, crazy kinky stuff, cameras. fucking like you wont ever see them again. again they like the chase, and sneaky link. gives me young energy. they may like to meet people in class, college, high school, work, projects, goals, financial things. and be that seducer to the wild side.
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Pile Three
they want a girl to perform for them, maybe while both possible intoxicated. dim lights is a kink. seeing each other pass midnight. sneaky link/sneaking in, secret backrooms/sex work/running away from the party, lingerie, wigs, makeup, butt plugs. they are into femme fatale dolls. they like sexual woman who can tempt people into dark sexual things, and taboo sexual kinks. they like woman who are also more dominant, or first lead taker. they like woman with power, woman who are intense and can possess you. Scorpio energy. nothing casual about the sex, they want this to be transformative, deepening. they might even be into you or them breaking up a pre - existing relationship, or being someones side and what they really need. they like seductive woman with a lot of allure, mysterious woman you might not have a hold on, and can leave you. they might even be into sex workers or strippers where they do this for more as something transactional. and working with them is a kink, plus they are really lustful with a high sex drive. that's why they like woman that match they freak and use it to their power.
they are really horny a lot. but their favorite positions is missionary and anal sex. and putting it into both holes. they like makeup sex, where something ended but the spark is back, toxic sex, i miss you sex. like to do it all over the house, or the building. running from each other. a game of cat and mouse and power play. but they like when you express energy, toxic or sexual. they like it to be kinky and fetish sharing. they like the idea of giving you dick. like your theirs. they like being yours and you dominating them and taking their sex, money, and girlfriend even. those type of woman could be a kink for them.
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❥ 𝘚𝘰𝘢𝘱 𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘈𝘭𝘱𝘩𝘢
《𝖢𝖮𝖭𝖳𝖠𝖨𝖭𝖲:𝖮𝗆𝖾𝗀𝖺𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌𝖾,𝖧𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗌,𝖱𝗎𝗍𝗌,𝖲𝗆𝗎𝗍》
Soap is an amazing alpha, he’s perfect for any omega that still wants their freedom and independence.
He’s not overbearing and overprotective like most Alphas, he’s fully aware that omegas are their own people and have their own dreams and aspirations.
You don’t have to ask permission to do anything nor do you have to tell him everything you’re doing. He completely trusts you…it’s other alphas that he doesn’t trust.
He won’t force you to wear a collar but he will suggest that you wear one, either that or he’ll put scent blockers on you or put in clothing of his.
He’s very attentive to you during your heats as well. He won’t fuck you unless you want it same with any other physical touch. He’s in strong control of his inner alpha.
Literally he’ll make you say what you need directly. So you can’t say: “Alpha…I need you..” nor can you say: “I want you!” He wants full complete sentences of what you want.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
You whine loudly as you roll around in your nest, sweat sticking to you as your heat becomes more intense. Slick oozes out your cunt as you begin rubbing yourself through your soaked panties. Soap comes in with a Popsicle and an ice pack and places them on the night stand. He carefully moves your hand from between your legs and kisses your forehead.
“Now now, tell alpha what you want.” He says softly as he caressed the side of your face. You moan softly and melt into his touch, your legs instinctively opening for him.
“Need you…please..” you whimper. Soap sighs and shakes his head.
“Complete sentences, Bonnie. Tell me what you want.” You whine again and huff as you try to focus on speaking.
“I…need you to fuck me…” You finally say. Soap smiles at you and pulls your panties off.
“Now, was that so hard?”
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
When it comes to Soap and his ruts, he completely shuts you out. He’s a bit…rough when he goes into his ruts. Biting, scratching, and man handling. You’re his precious omega. He doesn’t wanna hurt you, so, he isolates himself in the guest room. He only slightly opens the door whenever you bring him food and water. Seeing Soap being so cold and hiding from you makes you absolutely heartbroken and you sit in front of the door and whine for him to come out, that he won’t hurt you and that you just wanna see him. Like I said, Soap is a sucker for his omega so who is he to resist your words?
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
You’re sat in front of the door of the guest bedroom, whining softly.
“Johnny…please? I-I know you’re just scared of hurting me but…you won’t. I promise, I trust you, Johnny.” The door slowly opens and you perk up. You see Soap poke his head out, his skin glistening from his rut induced fever.
“No…you need stay away..” Soap all but growls. You gently touch his face and wipe the sweat off his face.
“I can handle you, I just…I just wanna make you feel good the same way you make me feel good during my heats.” You explain softly as you hold his face. Goddamnit who is he to say no?
#cod headcanons#cod smut#cod x reader#john soap mactavish#soap x reader#soap x reader smut#soap cod#cod omegaverse#alphasoap#omega verse#thecherubangel
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