#do you remember when you liked the smp

[kitschyclown]

im trying to do a warm up video on the guitar and realising i am horrible at this wtf

i've never seen you play guitar you're always talking about it but i never see it :(

[astrowarr]

obsessed with the delivery of "bigb treated me right..." "oh my g- i built you a panda reserve!" truly felt like a rehashing of a long settled argument.. like two people who have moved along and they aren't even angry anymore. but they'll play into it as if it isn't a thoroughly healed and forgiven scar at this point

[beeduoo]

originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins

[betweenlands]

Your ghost vault propaganda inspired me to watch the first season in dominion and. I think Legundo irl left that vault and had a panic attack. His shivers were timbered. Viking was unhinged to exactly one person and it PAYED OFF. God damn.

NO FOR REAL ITS SUCH AN EXPERIENCE. like it's a known fact that The Voice(tm) does in fact actually scare Legundo IRL and Viking just. he's so GOOD at turning it on and off at unstable intervals

i think a lot about that scene though actually, because piglin 'Gundo is a fascinating character in his own right and is not a fully morally upstanding guy, and something i think is interesting is like. the entire time he's freaked the hell out and this doesn't exactly go away later in the scene, but i feel like you can see something just click in Legundo when Viking hands him that IOU back and it's so. gods. he goes from totally out of his depth to a lot more calm and almost a little dismissive once that IOU is back in his hands and Viking no longer has that total leverage. it's nothing short of fascinating.

just. in general. that's such a good scene. all the Ghost's Vault scenes are golden, and S2 of Dominion has some utter bangers if you're the type to backwatch VODs.

all this is to say! glad you enjoyed! :DDD

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

heyyyyyyy so in the malnourished fwhip explanation post you said you'd get back to the thing about gem and fwhip not liking that they got first pick during the famine and i fully agree with you. if it also you said you'd get back to it and you didn't and you're good at articulating things so I would like to hear you elaborate if you are willing

OH yeah. i had planned to get into that in the section where i talked about fwhip continuing to use the corrupted fertilizer because it works so well that it means his people are fed, but i didn’t elaborate much further than that. so i shall now!

(context for this can be found here, in case you missed that post!)

so as i said previously, when famine strikes the grimlands and the royal family have their food needs prioritized, this is something that fwhip and gem, despite both being very young, find awful. i think both of these kids have very strong senses of justice (cough because they’re both autistic cough), gem especially, since she’s the one being trained to be the next countess, so she’s a lot more worldly than fwhip at that point. fwhip is approaching this from a basic fairness standpoint- everyone needs to eat, it’s not fair that he and his family get priority. gem is approaching this based on her experience in other empires and her conversations with other to be emperors- this is not how a good ruler treats their people, a good ruler tries to put their people first always.

i think this manifests in a variety of different ways when they get older. for fwhip, this manifests in putting his people’s food needs above his own when it comes to the corrupted fertilizer. if the fertilizer was giving everybody else nightmares, he would’ve heard about it by now, so clearly it’s just him. that means the fertilizer is a net good, so it stays. i think fwhip is a weird and very distant ruler, one who thinks of himself as a little too equal with his people, and that can be good and bad. something like this, where he puts the people’s need for food above his own wants is (for everyone else) good, but it also means he doesn’t really register how much more important his actions are than anyone else’s. for someone else in the grimlands (or even for fwhip just a few years ago, when he was still the kid brother to the rising countess), blowing up your friend’s house might get you in trouble, but it’s not a big deal. for modern day fwhip, it’s literally an act of war. “peace is boring” is a very frightening attitude for a ruler to hold, and he holds it because he wasn’t properly trained to be count, he’s still very young, and he views himself and his people as pretty much the same when, unfortunately, they just aren’t.

for gem, i think what this does for her behavior doesn’t manifest for her a while. she ran away from the grimlands because she wanted to be a wizard, she wanted to be anything but countess, and i think she did fundamentally believe fwhip would do better than she could. so she becomes a wizard in a very insulated community, and then her instructor disappears and leaves the entire place in her care, and that freaks her out. yes, she was trained to have far greater responsibilities than this, there aren’t even any students for her to train yet, but being in charge scares her still. she so desperately wants to be a good ruler, a better one than anyone in her family line has been for a while, because she’s been up close and personal with bad ones. and i think for gem specifically that manifests in her wanting to be a just ruler. very few people are ever fully beyond redemption for gem. her pillager students just need to put their weapons down, and then they’re ready to learn! see, they weren’t really evil, just angry and armed. sausage has good left in him, even at his worst, she knows it. she just needs to draw it out of him, at any cost. scott didn’t mean to hurt her, he was just scared and she pushed him too far, that’s on her. i think the only person she sees as truly, 100% beyond redemption, who she never really changes her tune on, is xornoth. even the other emperors she isn’t a fan of i don’t think she thinks are irredeemably evil, they’re just assholes and she’s gonna be an asshole back (or she’s gonna let the other WRA members do it). (the only outlier to that is maybe joey. at some point after he gets the crown from xornoth, somebody says he’s most likely beyond saving, and that somebody might be gem but i can’t remember. if it is, i think she had simply run out of energy for second chances for him, and he’s not her responsibility anyways, so she feels less bad about doing it to him than say, a student of hers. if she isn’t the one who says that, disregard.) she is trying to extend justice, to extend second tries to everyone. arguably she even tries this with xornoth, when she tries to learn more about him when he first shows up, but he also made it very clear he had no intentions of improving, so.

TLDR: i think both roseblings are affronted at the fact that because they are nobility, they are inherently better treated in times of crisis. for fwhip, this is because he thinks it’s unfair, that he’s not inherently better than the people of the grimlands, so it’s unfair for him to be treated as such. for gem, she thinks it’s unjust. a good ruler, a just one, would put their people first. so when they get older, this manifests in a variety of ways. for fwhip, he views himself less as a count and more as just another citizen of the grimlands, a tinkerer with a penchant for explosions and not much more. this means in times of crisis he puts the needs of the many over the needs of the few, but it also means he doesn’t think about how much more weight his actions carry with the other empires than the actions of a regular person. for gem, this manifests as trying to extend justice, a helping hand, a second chance, to everyone she can. even at her detriment, there are very few people she believes are totally beyond saving, and she tries as best she can to save them.

[spacebar2]

I only like the dsmp ending because I like pain and misery.

[risottofan7]

ik people sometimes think of life series members not remembering previous seasons/only remembering bits and pieces

but what if

life series post-3l is just a bunch of watchers looking back on previous seasons and going yeah lets do that again

[sunsetcdiscs]

Tommy said on his recent alt stream that he always wished he couldve done a different ending for ctommy, and when jack went live on the smp he realized he could..

(timestamp- 49:00)

"I logged on Jack's stream, did that, stood in my cupboard, and was like 'Fuck man, I just wish I could've ended it differently-' and I was like- 'OH I can! Right now !!' And then I legged it back to my computer, wrote a few notes, and was like 'Ok, c'mon Tom, fuckin' lock in, man.' ... Yeah I was really happy with that."

"... It didn't even really make that much canonical sense to go to Techno's house, I just needed Jack to know without me saying anything that I was, fuckin', being really serious in-character."

"... Yeah, it was nice, I was really happy. I always had that ending in my head, like imagining that the alt ending was that he had a little cottage. So I liked it- I was like 'Yeah! This is fuckin' canon, man.' ... It meant a lot to me- It really meant a lot to me! You ever like, be clearing through your bedroom and you find a toy that you forgot, fuckin' meant the world to you, then you're holding it and your like 'Oh shit. This is so important, right now I've remembered about this.' That's what it was like doing the cottage- I was like- I got to be a tiny bit ctommy and I was like 'This is fuckin' important to me, lets fuckin' finish-! This is the most important thing right now!'"

[rainy-day-revelry]

As many people have mentioned, Dream is very good about framing things to make himself sound right and other people sound unreasonable. But not a single video or post he has made so far can convince me that he is doing this with good intentions, because of the way he speaks towards everyone else involved and those he dragged in.

Now I mainly picked up on this with Tubbo and Tommy, but there are hints of it towards his viewers too: he speaks to us all like we’re children. The way a parent talks to a child they’re trying to gently reprimand, or the way a teacher talks about a subject in class. He speaks like we would never be able to come to these conclusions without his help and that he needs to guide us through it all or we’d get lost in the sea of information. And sure, plenty of his viewer base are kids, but the majority of people who would be watching this drama are fans from the Dream SMP era who knows all these people and remembers when they all used to talk and hang out. We may have been kids back then, but it’s coming up on half a decade since that server began; we’re not kids anymore. I myself started watching the DSMP when I was a underclassman in high school, I’m in college now. All the people he called the R-slur, the people who were offended and wanted an apology that he took days to properly deliver, most of us are adults. We can form our own conclusions, and we’re not an amorphous blob of opinions and views, we’re our own people.

This is especially bad when talking about it to Clingyduo, especially Tubbo. In his 3 hour stream he continually talks about Tubbo being misguided, and despite saying he has great respect for Tubbo and his opinions he skips context and actual criticism multiple times or, as Tubbo mentions, tunnel visions on one part of the criticism he can target and tosses the rest out with it when he’s done. He doesn’t give two shits about what Tubbo says unless it’s something he can use against the people criticizing him to make them sound disingenuous. With Tommy it’s worse, because when he’s not villainizing him beyond belief he’s using that condescending tone to talk about how proud he is and how he thought Tommy was special, which explains why Tommy felt so much pressure from him and like he owed him his success, or at least that Dream thought as much. He holds his approval over his head, like an abusive parent who just spent hours screaming in your face about how much of a disappointment you are before telling them “Of course I still love you.” It has the underlying tone of “you’ll make up for this slight, won’t you?”

And don’t even get me started about the DMs to both Tommy and Sarah. It’s fine to explain your feelings, but you’re not explaining them, you are blaming these feelings and reactions on them and telling them “You are the reason I’ve been suffering, it’s your fault for all of these horrible things that other people have been doing to me.” That’s not explaining your feelings, that’s guilt tripping and expecting an apology. That’s how long texts like that come across, that you don’t want the other person to be able to interject, you don’t want to make this a conversation, you want to drop your feelings and leave them to clean up the mess.

Dream’s a manipulative jerk, that’s all this has proved to me.

[rhubarbplants]

Content SMP finale ANALYSIS

Winsweep called himself the "nuclear option" and that is very true. Honestly both him and rat are incredibly destructive on content smp but Blake especially Represents War. War poses itself as necessary, it kills indiscriminately, it is the tool of the powerful, just like him.

We have seen the ways that Lux has slowly become more violent. She originally was against using charter weapons but that changed. They said "Violence is your mother tongue so I’m going to speak to you perfectly fluently" and she was right, she has learned that language too well.

I loved the rat v win fight bc they know each other so well. They predict each other's moves, how they fight, after years of rivalry they know each other intimately, they look at each other and feel nothing but hate while trying to ignore how much they see themselves staring back.

Rat and Win are obsessed with each other. They CANNOT stop fighting and to me the most satisfying end would have been Blake getting so wrapped up in fighting Rat that he stayed in the border to fight him to the bitter end ultimately destroying both of them in the process.

but we don't get that satisfying ending. Because Blake Is War. Lux sacrifices herself to ensure Rat lives. It is the worst possible outcome because Lux was the one who deserved it the least. At this point none of them were saints but even Arathian said she was never the target.

It is very interesting to my that Rat and Lux kept saying that it was Blake's funeral. To me they were not only saying that he was going to die but also that once he was dead no one would mourn him. The rain falling over his corpse would be the last time anyone would cry for him.

it is ironic then that it was not Win's funeral but Lux's. But Lux had many funerals, Rat built a grave, Nox surely mourned her and even Winsweep built her a genuine grave. Her death was not her funeral and she will be remembered fondly by most of the server despite her faults.

While fighting Blake, Lux also said that she made it rain because he didn't deserve to die in the sun "that is only for honorable people". Every other player killed by a charter weapon died in the sunlight, Implying that even Diansu was more honorable than Win. And she's right.

Her hate for win is fueled by how he permanently killed two players. She hated Rat for doing the same thing before they became allies. But Lux herself also used a charter weapon. Though Diansu was far from innocent when she killed him he died honorably while she lost her honor.

After killing Diansu Lux became much more willing to use the charter weapon, she was corrupted but unlike Win and Rat who are driven by power, vengeance, and a need for destruction, she still had a good heart. She wanted to believe Win had changed, she was willing to let him live.

Though the rain as she dies indicates a dishonorable death everything else about that scene betrays the idea. She may have been corrupted but she died honorably to save her closest ally. War never kills those who deserve it most. Her death is not satisfying, it is not righteous.

In the wake of Lux's death rain takes on new meaning. It is stormy and dark because the light (Lux) is gone. As Win and Rat stand at her grave it starts to rain, it is a reminder that they killed her, she may have chosen to sacrifice herself but it was Their feud that killed her.

[peacheeeliz]

017. hubby and wifey (wc: 640)

You stand patiently at Sunghoon's front door, gently knocking while your other hand hangs at your side, holding on tight to a plastic bag full of groceries. You let yourself rock back and forth on your feet, a quiet shuffle just on the other side of the door. After a moment, the door opens, and Sunghoon peaks through the crack, eyes widening at the sight of you at his apartment so late at night.

“Y/Nie, what are you doing here?” He asks, but ushers you inside. “It's almost midnight, you should be home.”

You ignore him with a sweet smile, heading straight towards his kitchen to get your late dinner for him ready. “And you should learn to be more honest with me,” you tease, hearing his footsteps follow you into the kitchen. “Heeseung's not your only friend, y'know? You can tell me if you ever have trouble sleeping. I know a great tea remedy.”

Sunghoon freezes behind you at your words, letting out a sigh when he remembers his chat with the mentioned man earlier that day. “And they say Niki yaps too much,” he jokes, shaking his head.

“Oh, please, Heeseung loves to gossip, especially with me,” you continue, finally sending him a bright smile over your shoulder. He takes his place at the counter behind you, leaning against it as he crosses his arms across his chest - his big, defined arms that peak out of the tank top he's wearing. You turn back around quickly, ignoring the heat that rises to your cheeks to focus on the food. “You shouldn't be worried about ever making me worry too much. If anything, it's gonna make me worry even more.”

He hesitates, eyes never leaving your figure as you start to dart around the room. “I just… had some trouble sleeping,” he starts. “It's probably just because I was on my phone all night. No need to worry.”

“What were you looking at?” You ask innocently, not noticing the way Sunghoon goes stiff again.

“Uh, just,” he stutters, clearing his throat. “Just TikTok. It's always better at night, y'know?”

You let out a light laugh, nodding in agreement. His heart warms at the sound, a soft smile playing at his lips as he brings his hand up to cover his face. And there goes his heart again, beating away at his ribcage like an animal trying to escape from the zoo.

When you start setting up all the different ingredients, he steps forward. “Hey, let me help out a bit,” he says, taking place right next to you and grabbing hold of some vegetables.

“No, baby, I'm supposed to be making you feel better,” you tell him, reaching to take back the vegetables. He holds it up high above his head, smiling down at you as you struggle to obtain them back. “Come on, Hoonie, not fair.”

“I'm sorry, but no wife of mine is going to work alone in the kitchen,” he responds, reaching up to pat your head with his free hand. “You're too cute.” The words slip past his lips without thought, and he freezes when he realizes what he said. You, however, seem to have no reaction other than the bright smile you send his way.

“You'd make a good husband one day, husband,” you joke, nudging him before getting back to work on the food.

“Well, I'm getting in some great practice with a really good wife,” he continues, ignoring the way his skin prickles and his stomach flips. “Aren't I, wife?”

“Wellllll, you did let me die,” you draw out. “Twice.”

He rolls his eyes, “hey, I told you it'd be a bad idea to go off on your own,” he reminds you. He leans to the side, bumping his shoulder against yours. “Just stick by me, alright? I'll keep you safe.”

synopsis ⤏ popular youtubers team up on all new minecraft smp, quick to name themselves the "newly weds" after sunghoon gifts y/n a poppy. but will these romantic endeavors between the two just be "for the lore," or will feelings blossom?

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[the-uninformed-zennial]

Okay so I wanna talk about the ecosystem of a fandom space like Fable/Bound SMP and those that extend off of it.

(long post below)

So one of the things that kinda stands out to me is that many of the popular ships are just canon. Like… off the top of my head the only two popular ships that aren’t necessarily canon in Fable are Kaleidoscope (Midas x Malitae) and Prison Duo (Centross x Icarus). But even one of those has been hinted at being canon by Sherbert in a few streams so like???

Looking at this from the outside it’s almost worrying. But the thing is, I think it has to do with three different things that are all unique to the Fable/Mer/Bound (and adjacent) fandom(s) and might actually be the sign of a really warm and welcoming community (as the Fable & adjacent fandoms have always been imo).

Firstly, the medium. If these were not lore-heavy, highly improvisational, live-streamed stories the fandom wouldn’t be able to provide feedback and the creators wouldn’t be able to react to said feedback in time to adjust. Think about Hermitcraft, it’s highly improvisational, yes. But lore-wise it’s not super heavy and thus all ships kinda teeter on the edge of being canon or not canon. Likewise smth like Whitepine where it’s recorded beforehand (and I think scripted??) doesn’t give the creators the flexibility to adjust the content in the same way the fandom is moving as quickly as the fandom moves.

Secondly, the fact that the creators interact with the fandom. Hi, hello, I’m living proof of this cause if I hadn’t gotten picked up by Heyhay and Art I never would’ve gotten to become one of said content creators. But this goes far beyond that. This has to do with the fact that they listen and interact and bounce ideas off of their fan base. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it, the opinions and ideas you guys share out here do influence the story, even if it’s just confirmation that you guys are picking up what the creators are laying down. It still serves as a sounding board to see how well things are coming across, and speaking as a creator myself (albeit a newer one) I find it incredibly helpful.

Thirdly, the size. Obviously if this venn-diagram of fandoms was as large as say Hermitcraft or QSMP the content creators simply wouldn’t be able to keep up with the fandom and many ideas would get lost in the jumble. Even just with how large Fable got at it’s peak, there came a point where it was nearly impossible to keep up with the amount of fan art and theories that were being made. So I think this point kinda feeds back into the second, that having a smaller size helps the content creators keep up with the feedback they receive from their art and lead to the fandom having more influence on the story than anyone really realizes.

These three things work together to create a space where people get to feel heard and seen. One of the most enticing things about being a community member for me was having that ability to influence the story, to talk to the characters themselves, to poke them about things I wanted to know the answer to. And when they responded?? It was so cool! I remember I used to keep a tally of little things in the world that I had affected because of messages that had been sent during live chat. It wasn’t ever anything big, but sometimes it’s the little things that count. That’s why, as a creator now I try really hard to interact with community members. I know I’m obviously not one of the big creators in this space, but I still want to help you guys feel seen and heard, because that’s where so much of the magic of being a part of this fandom space comes from imo. And if I can help recreate what helped me fall in love with this fandom space even a little bit, I’ll do what I can.

Anyway, I’m just super grateful to this community and the fellow creators within it. I have been so lucky to be able to get to experience this fandom from both the community member and creator side and honestly it has just been one of the most overwhelmingly positive experiences of my life, from both sides of the spectrum. I know things like that are fickle. I know fandoms and people are always growing and changing and maybe that won’t always be the case. But I just wanted to say I really appreciate the community that has been built here and all the work that goes into keeping it a positive and safe space. So, thank you guys 💕

[airrec]

Dream SMP Season 2 idea:

Pandora's Vault exists, still. It is half sunk into the sea, very obviously an old ruin, and there's something - off, about the place.

It's not just a building any more, of course. It's old, filled with pain, haunted. Things this old have their own kind of intelligence, change and evolve into something else.

It's a dungeon now. Filled with monsters, traps, loot, a boss. Filled with things best left undisturbed, if you ask anyone wise.

c!Tommy, enthralled by the idea of loot, is not wise. c!Dream, enthralled by the idea of secrets, is also not wise.

c!Philza, a strange old man who lives alone and seems to know more than everyone else (not that he ever opens his mouth to talk about it), warns them away. They do not listen.

The dungeon is indeed dangerous; once they step in, the entranceway disappears behind them, trapping them inside. There are traps, chests of loot, and monsters - constant Mining Fatigue makes it impossible to carve their own path through, so they're forced to navigate the shifting hallways.

There are crawling black-purple vines and thorns everywhere, lingering remnants of red but that colour has been bled out of them, appropriated for another master. These vines get thicker the closer to the centre they get.

At some point, c!Dream loses c!Tommy in the criss-crossing and confusing platforms and walk ways - he can't quite recall when or how it happened, though.

The boss chamber is in the very centre of the Vault, and there he is, the spider in the middle of the web: huge and tall, oversized the way many bosses are (according to Philza), gold-trimmed netherite armour and a gleaming trident, he looks a bit like a creeper hybrid but if he ever was one that was long ago; he's something else now.

The boss is surrounded by black-purple vines, and they pierce through him, trailing from him as though he were struck through with a dozen harpoons. Like so many chains, they hold him here - he is as much the master of this dungeon as he is its captive. Total control, but only within, and he cannot leave.

He does not want to leave - this place is his. His prison, his home.

"So, you've come back to where you belong," the boss says.

"I've been waiting for you," the boss says.

"I knew you couldn't stay away forever," the boss says.

"You belong here," the boss says.

c!Dream would like it to be known that at this point he has quite had enough of this dungeon, is wishing he'd listened to Philza when he'd said to stay away, and that his whole body hurts as his flesh remembers what his mind has forgotten. The haunting is an open, unhealed wound.

"Hahhh, no, I'm leaving," c!Dream says, distracted, as he tries to figure out an optimal path over the lava lake, where he should leap on the deepslate and netherite rocks and platforms to make it to the door on the opposite side of the room. The boss, surely, will try to stop him, but c!Dream is fast and surefooted - he can dodge any attacks. He thinks.

"You will not escape," the boss vows, which c!Dream is very much not a fan of.

"You have no right to keep me here!" he says as he sets off running, leaping for the first stepping stone above the scorching lava and using his momentum to carry him to the next. He's got a long way to go.

This seems to utterly incense the boss, striking some deep nerve and causing the very walls to shake with his fury as he turns to try to snatch c!Dream.

"I am the Master of this Vault!" the boss roars. "I am the Warden."

The boss room is nothing but a huge cell, the vines of the boss' power spread so perfectly throughout the dungeon in turn chaining him there. Above, c!Dream can see c!Tommy hovering in the open entranceway he's aiming for, frozen with his crossbow out.

As he flies through the boss room and tries to reach the door, c!Dream shouts back the truth that he knows, welling up from somewhere deep inside that only his nightmares can touch:

"But you're not, you're the prisoner."

[mads-hemmo]

It’s Nice to Have a Friend - Jschlatt

Part 2

Reader has been lonely their whole life. They have never been in a relationship. They don’t understand why no one will love them but their best friend, Schlatt has always been in love with them.

Masterlist

Schlatt remembers the day he met you like it was yesterday. He started at a middle school away from most of the friends he had in elementary school. This meant that he didn’t have any friends, but he did his best to not let it affect him. One day at lunch time, he sat by himself as he had for the past two weeks. Then out of nowhere, this kid came and sat by him. “Hi I’m (Y/N), you’re Jonathon right?” You had asked.

He just nods. He had seen you in class before. He was really curious as to why you were sitting by him while everyone else had left him alone.

“Cool. Nice shirt,” you tell him. He looks down at the Mario Kart shirt his mom had bought him from Target.

“Thanks,” he said. “Do you play?”

“Yeah, I play on the Wii and my DSi. I play as Peach. Not because she’s a girl, but because she’s cool. Also my little brother has taken over Yoshi.”

From that moment, you and Schlatt became best friends. You were even the one who came up with the nickname, Schlatt. His nicknames for you changed over the years but it ultimately landed on Bub/Bubba and Toots. The latter started as a joke but it stuck.

Schlatt has been with you for every phase of your teenage life: the one direction phase that he thinks never went away, your “emo” phase, your trying to fit in phase, and your party college phase. While many people found you to be completely ridiculous and sometimes over the top, Schlatt stuck by your side. He knew they didn’t get to see the real you. The one who likes playing video games and watching shitty musicals.

You were also with him through everything. You were there when he started making videos and you became his first subscriber. Neither of you imagined that he would blow up the way he did. When he started streaming on Twitch, the both of you knew something big was about to happen especially after SMPlive. He always talked to you first to flesh out ideas on the Dream SMP during his presidential reign.

Schlatt was always appreciative of how supportive you were with everything he did. He loved having someone who wasn’t attached to anything online. Someone who didn’t care how much money he made or how famous he got. Maybe that’s why he started developing feelings for you.

It wasn't always a thing. Perhaps the feelings were always there, but he hadn’t really noticed them until a few years ago. Back in High School, when you complained about being single, he had wondered why no one wanted to be with you. You were real, funny, and attractive. But he always made sure to assure you that everyone you went to school with sucked and were all fucking stupid anyways.

The feelings really started making themself evident when he moved to Austin. He had surrounded himself with just content creators and was working all the time. When he was extra stressed, Schlatt would call you on Discord. No matter what you were doing, you stopped everything to simply talk and play games with him.

“Don’t you have midterms?” he would ask while you created a house on Minecraft.

“Yeah, but they can wait. I feel confident that I’ll pass them. If I don’t, I’ll just sell pictures of my feet until I can afford to start again,” you tell him.

He smiles to himself. Something about how normal you are makes his heart skip a beat. You could have brought up the money he makes but no you resorted to talking about selling pictures of your feet. “Your feet are ugly. Don’t think they would make you much profit.”

Conversations like these made him realize that he had to leave the hell hole of Austin and move back to New York. Back to you. Now he felt happy again getting to spend as much time with you as possible.

His crush was so embarrassing that all his online friends know about you. They also make a point to bring it up when he’s not filming. “How’s your partner, Schlatt?” Astro asks, before they start filing for Sleep Deprived.

“They aren’t my partner,” Schlatt says.

“Not yet,” Mika adds.

Schlatt sighs. He knows you’ll never feel the same way about him that he feels for you. He’s not the Jonathan you want. He’s not Jonathan Groff or Jonathan Bailey. He’s just Schlatt, your best friend, nothing else.

Schlatt decides to ignore his feelings and just play Stardew Valley. While playing, he sees that you sent him a snap. It’s just a picture of you holding a Rammie plushie with the caption, “my new best friend because mine is busy working like a loser.”

He smiles like a loser at his phone and takes a screenshot. It takes everything in him to not tell you how cute you are. Instead he sends a photo of his forehead with a simple, “fuck you”.

Schlatt’s attention goes back to the screen. “Who the fuck stole my Persian Rugs?” he asks, when his character wakes up.

After a few hours of recording, he decides to call you on Discord. You answer quickly. “Sup Fucker?” You say over the call. “You done working?”

“Yeah I just finished filming for Sleep Deprived. What are you up to?” Schlatt asks, happy to hear your voice.

“Currently playing Balatro then I’m going to work on crocheting a blanket. I’m also watching New Girl.”

He admired how talented you were. Always working on something new. He loved how creative you were in everything you did. “What watch of New Girl is this now?”

“I think 6, maybe 7. I’ve lost count. With every watch, you can tell how obvious that Jess and Nick are end game. Nick is so in love and Jess is oblivious. It’s hilarious. How could anyone be that stupid?” You laugh.

Schlatt lets out a choked laugh. “Yeah it’s crazy.”

“If I were to fancast Chuckle Sandwich for New Girl. Tucker is Winston because duh, Charlie is Coach since he was there at the beginning and shows up every now and then, Ted is Schidmt, and you’re Nick.”

“Oh is that so? Who’s Jess then?”

“Obviously I’m not a part of the crew, but probably me since she’s my spirit animal,” you tell him.

“That’s interesting,” he says, wondering if you noticed what you said. It’s obvious you didn’t make a connection.

“Oh did you see that Grace is engaged and Molly is pregnant?” You change the subject, not even meaning to.

“No I didn’t. I don’t follow anyone from high school anymore and I couldn’t care less.”

“That’s fair, but how do these bitches find their soulmate and make babies? It’s so ugh!”

“They will probably get a divorce in three years and I doubt the guys they are with are much better than them,” he says. He wishes you wouldn’t worry about people that don’t matter to either of you.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Did I tell you about my new friend, Paige from work?”

“No I don’t think you did. What about her?” He is confused why you are bringing up some random girl. He really hopes she’s not a new crush of yours. He couldn’t handle you crushing on a person you know.

“I think you should get to know her. I think the two of you would really hit it off. She played softball and she is just overall cool. I can give you her number.”

It’s worse than he thought. You weren’t into her, you thought he would be. This was a recurring thing that Schlatt despised every time it happens. He doesn’t want to go on a date with some random girl. He wants you, but he can’t let you know that. “Maybe. I’m still not really wanting to date. I want to focus on my career and the new projects I’m working on,” Schlatt tells you. It’s not a complete lie, but it’s not the complete truth either. If he was going on a date with you, it’d be a different story.

“Oh okay. I told her you were a busy guy. She just sounded like someone you’d be into.”

He can tell he made you slightly upset and that’s his least favorite thing to do. “Thank you for thinking of me, Bub,” he tells you. “What are your plans tonight?”

“I’m not sure yet. Just crafting probably. Did you have something in mind?” You ask.

He didn’t have any plans, but he wanted to spend time with you. Being away from you, made him want to hang out with you as much as possible. Even if it was as simple as watching a movie or playing with the cats. He sometimes imagines the two of you living together. Getting to spend as much time as possible doing the most mundane things would make him so happy.

“I can order some sushi and we can do that coloring thing you told me about,” he says, hoping you’d be down to come over.

“Sure. When should I come by? Do I need to bring my pajamas?” You ask.

“Uh sure if you want to stay over. We both know you’ll be in leggings or shorts though, so you might not need them.”

“Good point. If anything I’ll steal some of your clothes,” you tell him, nonchalantly.

Schlatt feels a lump in his throat thinking of how big his clothes would be on you. You’d probably suffocate in them, but he’s sure you’d look damn cute. “Yeah, sure,” He stammers out. “I’m done working so come by whenever.”

“Alright see you soon.” You hang up before he can say anything else.

Schlatt starts feeling giddy like a little girl waiting for your arrival. He starts picking up what he can. He checks himself out in the mirror, fluffing up his hair a bit. He applies a little bit of cologne. When he goes back to the living room, he sees Jambo judging him. “I’m a fucking disaster. Aren’t I?”

Jambo just meows in agreement. Schlatt sighs, he wonders how long he can unrequitely love you. He’s sure it’s going to kill him before he confesses. He knows that it will be best to just wallow in his self pity instead of fucking up your friendship.

A doorbell ringing interrupts him. He trips on his way to opening the door. When he opens it, he expects to see your pretty face, but that’s not who’s on the other side. “Surprise,” Ted says on the other side of the door.

Schlatt just stares at him in disbelief. He sees you walk behind them. “Am I interrupting something?” You ask.

“The infamous (Y/N), I’ve heard so much about you!”

Schlatt knew in that moment that he was royally fucked.

A/N: another late night post! But I can’t stop writing. I’m going to be so sad next week when I have to go back to work. Reader is general neutral, but I may add some fem! stuff. Also the ending just popped in my brain last minute! Hope you all enjoy!! Thanks for reading!!

[anonymous-dentist]

Hi, I’m A.D., I’m a historian, and let’s talk about the nuclear bomb and why the one that exploded at the end of QSMP’s Purgatory Event probably didn’t kill all that many people upon initially exploding.

The nuclear bomb, as everybody knows, has only ever been used in a war twice. Both explosions were caused by the United States in their war against Japan at the tail end of World War Two in one final terrible last ditch attempt at ending the war through any means necessary.

Pictured above are the atomic explosions at Hiroshima (left) and Nagasaki (right.)

These are big huge clouds, which makes sense! Nuclear weapons, on average, have the strength of somewhere between 10 and 50 megatons of TNT. Hydrogen bombs, meanwhile, are WAY worse, with the first test coming in at a whopping 10 MILLION tons of TNT.

To put it in Minecraft terms for all you nerds out there, imagine Doomsday from the Dream SMP and how it razed an entire nation to bedrock level by using somewhere in the range of 20 stacks of TnT (if I’m remembering correctly.) A nuclear bomb, in these terms, would have blown L’Manberg up something like eight times over and then some.

So that’s. Bad. Right?

Well, here’s the QSMP’s bomb as was constructed by our favorite depressed detective, q!Maximus:

This bomb, notably, is underground. It was never dug up, it was just moved somewhere else. It isn’t above ground, and it never left this room. Watch the cutscene back (linked here), the bomb never left the room.

So this is where underground nuclear testing comes in.

Underground testing began in 1951, and it remains the only form of scientific nuclear testing not banned by the Limited Test Ban Treaty of 1963.

No big surprise, a lot of early underground tests were conducted by the US out in Nevada, where they kinda tested nukes legit fucking EVERYWHERE in the desert for a long time. Below are some photos, just for funsies:

What’s important about underground nuclear explosions is that they actually end up releasing less radiation into the atmosphere than regular nukes do. What happens beyond that depends on whether or not the radiation remains contained.

A contained explosion’s aftermath:

And an uncontained explosion’s aftermath:

There hasn’t really been many negative biological effects reported from these underground tests, which is really saying something considering how close to nuclear blasts the US had its guys at most of the time (see below)

The worst you got out of the underground tests was some radioactivity in cows’ milk, which is NOTHING compared to the effects of the above-ground nuclear testing at the Nevada Site:

So… what does this mean for the QSMP?

Well, if we’re going off of historical and scientific precedent, legitimately nothing substantial happened to the islands of Purgatory. There’s more of a risk of dying from the pre-established radioactive rain disaster effects as well as the earthquake and meteor disasters.

Fun fact! Underground nuclear explosions usually registered as weaker than actual fault line activity, aka actual earthquakes.

If Maxo’s nuke was dropped from above, the devastation would be greater. Nuclear fallout is no joke; even today, cancer rates in the American West are still pretty high from the above-ground testing conducted at the Nevada Site. The Bikini Atoll will never be the same after all the testing the US did there, either.

But, because this nuke seemed to have gone off underground, I can safely assume that the damage done to the islands above was minimal at worst. Maybe there’s a radioactivity leak, but everybody staying on the islands had already experienced radiation up to that point.

It’s important to remember this because several characters did stay behind on the islands, and the fandom is assuming them dead because, well. A nuke went off. But those characters aren’t dead yet (outside of q!Maxo, who was possibly directly above the nuke when it went off and thus would’ve been hit full-force by the explosion.) Many were on the beach, far from the the nuke. They’re fine, and you can prove it with history!

TLDR; the nuke from the end of Purgatory was assumedly set off underground, which would have negated a lot of its potential damage, so everybody’s fine except for the unfortunately deceased q!Maxo

[favcharacterpoll]

ROUND 6 MATCH 3: CECIL VS. C!WILBUR

Cecil Palmer from Welcome to Night Vale faces c!Wilbur from the dsmp. @10piecechickenmcnugget get over here sage

Cecil Propaganda:

"Cecil is not only the Tumblr sexyman, he is the first gay protagonist of a podcast that most of us have ever heard. From the very first episode he was unashamedly queer and no one has ever called him out or given him shit for being gay. He is a gay Jewish fashion disaster who is the mouthpiece for an incredibly bizarre town and plays the whole “this horrifying thing is completely normal”thing so well. If Cecil wasn’t there, I think a lot of people wouldn’t have felt so accepted for just being who they were. Cecil is an inspiration and the queer podcast rep we all deserved as we were growing."

"he’s gay. he’s a dilf. he’s ageless. he has been since there’s was nothing and he’s still here after the world ended. he can summon music. his mother is a oracle his father is a tree. his cat is a man who got cursed and also has wings a stinger and poison??? he thinks a tutu and crocs is formal wear and has talked to god and she said ‘I love you. I’m sorry’. he’s definitely guilty of manslaughter from negligence"

"this is the website Night Vale built!"

c!Wilbur Propaganda:

"Accurate depiction of mental health and spiral, handled delicately and deliberately, every piece of his story was thought and planned and in the end he went home to Utah. Thank you lord."

"Please don’t let the name dream smp effect how you feel about this submission, this character is completely unrelated to dream and I’m pretty sure the person who played him has nothing to do with dream anymore. This man single handedly got me through a horrible patch filled with extreme paranoia by also being extremely paranoid. Genuinely really helped me feel seen and I coped a lot by getting invested in this character. I almost cried when he died :("

"He’s so fucking stupid. I could infodump for hours this man transed my gender. Everything has gone wrong in his life. He’s the definition of a bisexual disaster."

"I didn’t fail 10th grade math bc I was thinking about c!wilbur for him to lose round one"

"I mean look at him!! his Minecraft skin is adorable!!!"

"if you people vote for cwilbur i'll draw him in a bikini."

"A VOTE FOR C!WILBUR IS A VOTE FOR GIRLBOYS EVERYWHERE"

"i should not have underestimated minecraft fans they came together"

"Season 1 changed me. I didn’t know minecraft videos could have good acting, dramatic plots, etc. Wilbur was one of the best there. His plot was so interesting with the L’Manburg and the unfinished symphony arcs. He was funny, dramatic, sad… I fondly remember my dsmp days (though I only saw up to like part of Tommy’s exile)"