#do you like me

[hoeforbillieeilish]

ive always thought i had to earn love. i had to behave well, i had to be a smart, nice, cool girl. i had to say the right words at the right time. i had to be interesting, mysterious, charming. and also beautiful. perfectly skinny, pretty, perfect hair, skin, clothes. i always think one wrong step can make someone hate me

[intrusive-thoughts-only]

I know I am being obsessive. I know I am truly not anything special to you.

I also know I can’t stop myself from being overly invested in an FP that may not ever feel anything for me.

[why-bother-with-life]

it's interesting that somehow nobody texts me first

does nobody like me enough to text me first?

[anchoeritic]

the biggest pain of liking a girl is not knowing if they’re really flirting and into you or joking around.

[nonsensethoughtz]

as someone who has taken several psychology/sociology classes and prides themself in being able to read people well, i sure as fuck can't figure you out and it's actively destroying my life

[vampireletter]

If you don’t like me, why would you act like you do?

I know you, and i know you don’t do this with anyone else.

Yet asking you out was met with “omg i’m so flattered but i don’t know if i feel the same.”

What does that mean? I don’t know as in ��i don’t like you but i don’t want to hurt your feelings.”, or i don’t know as in you not being certain?

For i know you, and i know you aren’t the type to hold the hands of your friends carefully for hours on end, and certainly not the type to look at them as if you were about to kiss them.

For i know neither of us would walk for four kilometers just to sit on top of a hill and watch the city lights while holding each other and telling me my hair smells nice.

If you don’t like me, why would you caress my hair and tell me how beautiful it is?

why would you compliment my hands?

why would you hug me constantly?

why would you sit so next to me with our bodies touching and your head laying against mine?

why would you want to borrow my clothes?

why would you tell me they smell nice while wearing them?

why?

just tell me why.

only recently you started doing this.

you do this with no one. not with any of our friends nor me in the past.

why me and why now, if you don’t like me?

i was born to understand and know, yet forced to lay in silence and be confused.

i craft theories of you not being ready for a new relationship after the shitty ones you were in in the past, of you not being comfortable with me telling you this soon.

i’d understand if you said you didn’t like me if you hadn’t done all this, if you hadn’t told me you’ve never enjoyed anyone’s company as much as mine.

hell, i’d understand if these things only happened once,

but it was not once, it was reoccurring.

you make me confused in the worst way possible, yet i cannot get answers.

my brain is exploding

and it’s not like those are the only things we did

i don’t believe you’d want to hurt me intentionally, so enlighten me. i’m sure i’d understand

[intrusive-thoughts-only]

In a crowd of thousands of people, you found me.

We have not met in real life, but somehow you saw me.

I don’t know if it means anything to you, but I know it means something to me.

You said it’s a good thing you saw me there, my fears say you’d never truly want me.

[nothanksbi]

Some days it's easier to act like you're a friend. Even if I accidentally flirt with you while talking to you, it's easy enough to cover up sensibly. You tease me, I tease you back, I challenge you, you declare that I win - and it's easy enough to tell myself: I was smiling because I was winning, because it was fun.

Today is not such a day. Neither was yesterday.

A tinge of longing keeps hanging at the back of my mind, like it's about to fall off a cliff but refuses to just slip and let go. I ask myself, do I long for you or for the satisfaction of having a lover? Do I long for you or for love? Do I long for you or for the version of you I created in my head? Of course, these are questions I've asked myself about the others before you, too. And the answer has always been, "both." I long for a lover that has your kindness, warmth, ready wit. I long for a love that is simple, clear, calm; a love that you seem capable of. I long for the version of you that you show me, the version of you I have seen, the version of you that might just be the version you really are. Maybe I am too desperate, too lonely, too impatient, too enthusiastic, too straightforward...but haven't I always been?

The question is, do you think I'm too much? Or not enough? Or lovely but not equal to the person of your dreams? Or you've simply never seen me that way, even though I told you I liked you all those months ago?

How many more of "you" must I go through, before I find which one is meant to stay? How much longer before I give up and do something I might regret? When does it end? When does it end? When does it end, so my heart can finally be at peace?

[ashleigghh]

someone needs to take ladybird away from me before I do something stupid

[cvnnamxxn]

Hey, hey, do you even like me?

I know what they say.

I just do.

They are pretending to me nice to me.

They have to be pretending, have to be.

When they compliment me, it’s all fake

I already know I have no good qualities.

I know once they walk away, they talk about me.

They talk about me behind my back.

Once they walk they have to be talking about how annoying I am.

If I know that, they definitely do.

[themadsshow]

am i the only one who just constantly wishes they could read minds cuz i would loveee to know what some of the bitches in my life rlly think abt me

[nuttersincorporated]

[danoshanter]

OK

danoshanter

1s ago

OK

OK

OK

OK, I know this isn't my usual quirky fun poet weird guy stuff, and I know its totally manipulative, but I'm stoned and I'm sad and I just don't care enough to actually post this and you can answer if you like or not, and it

is there anybody out there in this wide empty dark echoing tumblr universe right now who actually even gives enough of a s**t about me, who even either knows or cares that I exist enough that ... is there anybody out there who actually reads these posts of mine? Much less gladly, and glad they'd read it when they're done? Can I console myself with being able to tell myself that in the end, I've made at least one other human being's day a little bit brighter and more wonder-full because they;ve seen or read something of mine? Do I make even that much difference in the universe? I don't care about the lack of likes, I don't care about the lack of tips. Don't get me wrong, I would really appreciate those things because they're a concrete way people can answer that question "Yes, you do, and we do care, and we want to provide you encouragement and financial support so you can keep on bringng wonder into the world." But in the end that's not the core reason why I do it.

Have I brightened a single one of your days by one of my posts, just a little bit?

Well, have I?YesNo

0 votes • Remaining time: 6 days 23 hours

#sad#meta#meaning of art#self worth#self doubt#pathetic whining#self pity#do you like me

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Blaze

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#sad#meta#meaning of art#self worth#self doubt#pathetic whining#self pity#do you like me#philosophical#philoshofical#philosloppysical#philowhinesical#please give my ego strokes