#do you know what torture it is to be THINKING. ALL the time. no. of course you DONT.

[definitivelydrivel]

As someone with very very very bad but effectively treated OCD, this. All of this. Though for me, it's more, because pragmatism is the name of the game for me, because morality is subjective enough that the inherent doubt used to eat me alive until I found a new way to look at things.

I used to have this terrible perfectionistic OCD dread about a vague sense that there's some ethereal impossible perfect way of being and doing that I'm always falling short of. It ate my mind and tore apart my life for years till I finally took off the values judgement punishment goggles and started thinking about things more objectively.

And it's funny. Once I stopped trying to moralize every little thought and deed, I started looking at my actions based on a combination of intent and cause and effect. Focus on actions and consequences instead, things got so much better. I wasn't wasting all my time hating myself instead of putting in work to do better.

And that is the thing. Feeling bad because you're obligated to feel bad is useless as penance. It doesn't fix anything, doesn't help anyone, and it actively hurts you. Others too, sometimes.

If feeling bad does fuckall to help improve your outcomes and actions, then fuck it. It's a useless pointless waste of time. If you insist on performing penance then seek absolution in action. Take steps towards habits and actions that align with your values and produce meaningful outcomes instead of torturing yourself needlessly.

Cuz guess what? Torturing yourself needlessly, wallowing in your emotions makes you more of a burden, but the people who love you are already putting up with that. Feeling bad for burdening them doesn't help. So if you feel bad then stop focusing on ot, stop drowning in those bad feelings. Try to accept yourself and your situation and focus on what you can do to do better.

Trying to do better while throwing all your energy into feeling bad is like trying to drive while stomping on the brake. You're just fucking up your car, dude.

I think the bit about thinking about who you want to be is good but for me that means living based on my values. I know what I want and what's important to me. I know my priorities and how I want to treat people, so I try to think about whether my actions and decisions fit my values, because being kind and understanding is one of my most important values and frankly, living up to that is tough but I am always happier living up to my values. There's a satisfaction in it that you just can't get by hounding yourself over every little failing of flaw.

We're human. Flaws come with the territory. Please, if you're stuck in a punitive mindset, please try to make peace with the fact that perfection is impossible, some people will always be shit and we can't fix that. Focus on moving yourself forward instead of tearing yourself and everyone around you down.

It's not a green light to let people hurt you but ffs give yourself and others some empathy.

Every single day people on tumblr say "what if the shit moral OCD tells you was true and living by it was the only way to be a real progressive"

[v1x3n]

SNAP! ── ripped apart.

♯ PAIRINGS - john price x falsely accused reader x 141

♯ SYNOPSIS - tortured for information by your family and the person you loved, john price. you were harmed for something you hadn't even done, you were framed as the traitor and soon they would find out.

♯ TAGS - fluff, angst - panic attack, trauma, flinching.

─ previous chapter // masterlist // next chapter ─

There's a sudden knock on the door to your room, your body dry and freshly washed, the minty smell from the soap bar fills your nostrils whilst you slump on the hospital bed. Curled in a way that was uncomfortable but it wasn't hurting any wounds so that would have to do.

The knock is followed by the door opening wide, revealing a man who you recognise, a man named Logan. The cheery fellow bounces into the room, suddenly the dingy lights seem brighter. "how's my favourite girl?" the man smiles while trotting inside, then closing the door behind him. "The nurse told me t' not bother ya sooo here I am!" he announces, smirking when you peer up at him. Your permanent frown slightly moves upwards when you see the goofy yet devious grin on his face.

Without a reply he sits down on the wooden chair placed by your bed, "you're looking better! my wounds are barely healing!" you wonder what had happened to him for a moment but then you remember that one of the first times he snook into your room, he rambled on for almost an hour. Telling you that he had been shot whilst on a mission, twice in the stomach. Luckily he survived. He smiles as he stretches out his hand, groaning, "I'm glad you're okay," he says, his voice filled with emotion.

A sigh falls from his lips when you sit up, "saw some big beefy guy leave your room before," john, he's obviously talking about john. "Looked real pissed off." Logan mumbles under his breath when he looks to the side. Fucking twat, he was pissed off? He doesn't deserve to be pissed off. "Ya know him?" He looks towards you for an answer. But you two both knew you weren't going to verbally say anything. You nodded hesitantly.

"Ya friends?" the man questions, this time it wasn't so hesitant. "No." You firmly said. Logan thought this was the first time you had spoken to him, it clearly must've been a trigger or something, "he is NOT my friend." Reaffirming your statement, pure rage boils through you at even thinking about being his friend. He lost that fucking privilege. "huh."

There's a silence that lingers in the air. The wet droplets from your freshly washed hair drips down, sending shivers down through your body. "Well, at least you have people visiting. My family is too busy t' visit. Or they just divnt wanna." he mutters the last part, "id kill for anyone t' visit."

"You know you get a lot of people lining outa your door? I can barely get through mine cause these bulky men will always be there." What? You questioned internally. "Ya friends with them?" you probably knew who he was talking about, it was probably the other knobheads that harmed you. None of them had really spoken to you since you arrived, john would sit down on the chair that Logan was currently sitting on sometimes, you two wouldnt talk though. Youd rather kill yourself than utter a single word to him.

"none of them are my friends, " gruffly talking again. Your throat kinda hurt so the sounds came out raspier than you had wanted them to. "hmm! Anywho! You wanna play some cards with me? I knowww.... Snap?" Then he puts on a dumb little smile.

After rolling your eyes at him, you nod. Magically he pulls out a card deck. Placing them on the blanket covering you. Once splitting the deck into two and passes you a half. Logan puts a card down gently on the blanket, not wanting to put it down too hard and hurt you. He didn't quite know what had happened to you but by the looks of it it was bad. You had nurses in all the time, your body was wrapped in bandages and by the looks of it, you only had 8 fingers.

"6 of clubs!" he announces. You place down a random card, 4 of hearts.

After a few rounds, you had won. For him having a deck of cards and wanting to play snap, he wasn't that good at it. A small smirk rises on your face, looking down at your massive stack whilst he had no cards left. "Well, well done." He grumbles with a mocking pout.

Once nodding you give him half your cards and he whacks them across the bed. Scattering the cards around, you gasp. Laughing, he observes the stunned look on your face before you shuffle the cards and half them. Dividing them into two halves, again making sure you both have a half each.

The word snap was yelled out from Logan's lips as he finally got ahead of you and slammed his callosed hand downwards onto the 2 of diamonds. When you flinch, he felt the weight of his face drop. "fuck, I'm sorry-" the look on your face could only be described as panicked, scared and fearful.

Suddenly a loud ringing blinds your ears. Your breathing grows. You take sharp and quick breaths when he looks towards you. You don't know why you panicked so much over something so stupid but then again - you do. "oh god I'm sorry!"

Logan's heart sank as he watched you struggle to catch your breath. He quickly slid closer, his voice gentle, "Hey- fuck- it's okay. I'm right here." He hesitated, unsure whether to reach out physically, but instead whispered, "Just breathe with me, nice and slow," trying to guide you back to calmness. But unfortunately that didn't help. You flinch back once more and shuffle under the blanket. The sounds of the room grew louder, the beeping of the machines sound over Logan's - trying to be - comforting voice. Your breath caught up once more. Your breathing is loud and fast. "it's okay-"

He gets cut off when a nurse comes into the room. She quickly rushes to you and all you see is almost a blur when your eyes prick with water. Distant yelling and you see the obscured bodies rush into the room, the nurse beside you and mumbling nonsense as the blob you think is Logan leaves. 

[liahaslosthermind]

~𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐩𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭~ Part 3

Part 3 of The Spy Master's Secret Find more ACOTAR works here! Summary: The Inner Circle meets the most important person in Azriel's life. Warnings: Lia rewrites what the Carranam bond is to fit her own fantasy, (Mention of) Bad injuries and domestic abuse, (Mention of) Azriel's dad 🤢, Inner Circle loves to STAY in Azriel's business, I actually write Rhys as not an asshole in this one

“My Carranam.” The Spy Master replied.

No one was given time to think, much less respond, before Azriel had commanded everyone to leave the room. They would have been more reluctant to do so, the desire to know what the hell he meant was painful, had the serious look on the strange female’s face, and the look of despair on Azriel’s, had given them the impression this conversation was better left between the two. 

Out in the hallway, Cassian finally voiced his concern, 

“Should we have left him alone with whoever that was? He isn’t in any state to be fighting back should he ne-”

Amren scoffed at the question. “I’d trust her with him far more than you all.”

 “What do you mean? Do you know her?” Elain asked.

“No, but he is her Carranam. You all might not know the significance of such a bond- I don’t even know much about it myself, but I know enough to believe there is no one who would protect and cherish him more.” There was a sort of amazement and respect in Amren’s eyes that told the rest of them that she was right. Gave them enough information to walk away from the bedroom, content on letting Azriel come to them when he was ready.

—

The Inner Circle was no longer content waiting for their Spy Master to make an appearance. All had been sitting at the dining table for what must have been millenia, plates full with no appetite as millions of questions swarmed their heads. Amren had seemingly been the only one to have any idea what any of this could have meant, but the second she got the chance, she disappeared so she wouldn’t be bothered with questions about something that had nothing to do with her. 

Finally, Nesta broke the silence.

“Do you think he is purposefully trying to torture us by taking forever?” She asked, eyeing the very apparent shadows in the corner that had been slithering to and from the room since they had all sat down. “Or do you think she is-”

“It would be my fault Azriel was occupied for a bit.” The strange fae announced as she entered the room, Azriel by her side with a slight limp. The two looked… strange together, but also so right. White feathered wings stood tall behind the female, nicely contrasting Azriel’s leathery Illyrian ones. Where he was crowned in darkness and shadows, she seemed to have bathed in light. It should have contrasted each other terribly, but their stark differences only seemed to compliment the other.

It also didn’t escape anyone’s notice how their friend looked thousands of times better than he did just hours earlier.

He was still clearly injured, but far from the edge of death he teetered on these past few days.

“How? Madja could only do so much for him.” Rhysand asked, astonished at how well his brother looked.

She helped him into his seat before taking the empty one next to him. Even as they got comfortable, her hand never left his arm, finding comfort in his touch after days of agony and helplessness.

“Junia is a healer. The best Dawn has to offer.” Azriel said, the pride clear in his voice. It made sense that she- Junia had been from Dawn. A Peregryn and an Illyrian, two lesser fae known for their warrior skills and inherent desire for the skies. 

“I am not as skilled as Madja, but it's easier to heal when you know exactly what is wrong, exactly what hurts.” Junia said, rolling her eyes at Azriel’s shameless bragging. 

She let out a deep and rich laugh as she looked at everyone’s faces, all pained by the many questions swirling around in there. Feyre noted that she hadn’t heard such a joyous laugh since Azriel had done the same when Elain had gifted him medicine for all the headaches the Inner Circle gave him. 

Clearly, whatever bond they had between them was deep.

“You better introduce me, put them out of their misery.” She teased Az, who had been too caught up relishing her laugh, after a very long and rough berating it was nice to see her not seconds away from tearing out his wings. 

“R-right. Uh- this is my- well this is-” Azriel stammered.

“Mother above Az, don’t hurt yourself," Cassian amused.

Azriel closed his mouth as he blushed, unsure of how to go about this. 

“My name is Junia. As the brooding bat said, I am his Carranam.” Junia answered, side eyeing Azriel.

Keep it together, Az. It's a little pathetic. 

Azriel responded to her teasing look with a glare. We haven’t had to tell anyone about this in a while. Why don’t you try to explain it to these idiots if you are so clever.

Rhysand noticed the silent conversation going on between them.

“You can converse like Daemati? Is that your ability?” The High Lord asked her.

They both hesitated, realizing they didn’t really know how their so-called “telepathy” worked.

“No- or I don’t believe so at least. When you communicate with someone, you are doing so verbally, even if not aloud, correct? I don’t hear Azriel’s voice in my head, I just feel what he is trying to tell me, if that makes sense.”

“Like a mating bond?” Feyre questioned.

“Also no. It's not our feelings that are conveyed solely, we can gather more specific meaning from it. Yes, Junia would feel I was not excited for this conversation, but she would also know I was offering her one last chance to leave, should she also not want to deal with all of your… strong personalities.” Azriel responded, looking at Junia. He really didn’t want to have this conversation with his family.

She laughed at his desperation which, while very clear to her, she knew the Inner Circle was none the wiser to the just how far Azriel was willing to go to leave this table. She could see him coming up with escape routes in his head as he picked up his wine glass. 

“Oh you poor delicate flower,” She teased. 

Unfortunately, they all still noticed the blush that once again appeared on Az’s face, laughing at their scary brother, head tortured of the Night Court, being compared to a ‘delicate flower’. 

Downing the rest of his glass, Azriel finally explained.

“A carranam bond isn’t like a mating bond. It comes from an old phrase, A Soul Friend. It gives Junia and I the ability to channel each other's powers, even make them stronger when we are together. Like you noticed, we have a different, more intimate way of communicating, far stronger than Daemati and mates can.”

“How the hell has no one else here heard of this bond?” Nesta asked, skeptical. Seems like something a group of people as obsessed with the mating bond would know about.

“It is rare, extremely so. There are also many… vulnerabilities that come with a bond such as this. To find your carranam is hard enough, most will never be born with one. But to accept such a bond is dangerous. And unfortunately there have been instances of others abusing such a gift. Tying their carranam up to reap their abilities, taking so much from them that both end up going insane. It became illegal in many places and eventually was forgotten by our world.” Junia answered.

“How did you find out what you guys had?” Feyre jumped in.

While this was Junia’s story as much as Azriel’s, she hesitated. Because there was another factor to that story, and she didn’t believe she was the one who should talk about it first.

Another glance between the two, a question asked. Azriel answered it by speaking up, “Junia is from Dawn. After my… mother was released- rescued from my father’s abuse, she wasn’t in wonderful shape. Fortunately, Rhys, Cassian, and myself found a place created by High Lord Thesan’s mother that offered aid to those escaping similar situations, Rosehall. That is where Junia worked as head healer. She helped my mother a lot throughout the years.” Such admiration and gratitude in his voice made several people at the table start to tear up.

Everyone was quiet. While Rhysand, Cassian, and Mor knew the story of Azriel’s mother being sent to Rosehall, they hadn’t known about Junia, just about the healer Az’s mother had gotten along with-

“You are the friend of his mother’s he sends gifts to every Solstice?” Mor asked, having been approached by Azriel for help with buying said gifts many times in the past.

“I thought you picked those gifts out yourself? You didn’t tell me Mor did all the work.” Junia turned to Az.

“I do pick them out, you just have peculiar taste. I have needed her help locating shops to buy such things before. That's it.” Az defended.

I certainly do have peculiar taste she silently said to Az who, again, blushed at the double entendre.

He quickly cleared his throat, “A few years after my mother had entered her care, while I was visiting, there was an attack on Rosehall. It was one of the families of a newer resident enacting revenge for escaping abuse. When many were hurt or dying… or dead, the two of us the only ones available to help, this bond had snapped out because of that desperation. It was new but it felt like it had always been there. We both leaned into the feeling and fortunately it didn’t end terribly. Suddenly, my shadows were able to start healing, and were able to talk to Junia, giving her any info on people who needed her help that she couldn’t see.”

Everyone was astonished at such a story. So different but also so similar to the mating bond. 

“Since then we have been each others’ confidants. While we don’t live particularly close, shadow walking gives me the ability to come to him whenever, and vice versa. Plus the connection is always there, even miles upon miles apart.” Junia answered. 

“Why keep it a secret?” Cassian questioned, knowing how much a connection like this would matter to Az, but confused because wouldn’t he want his family to know about him having such a bond?

“I am not exactly without enemies, Cas. I couldn’t have a possibility of someone coming after her because of me.” The sound of raw pain in his voice let his family know that this wasn’t something that was simply a fear. 

Someone had gone after her in revenge.

“Your secret is safe with us. You are safe with us. Should you need anything, just say the word.” Rhysand offered. 

The two carranam looked at each other. “After I spent a while yelling at Azriel for scaring me half to death multiple times in the past few days. We decided that maybe it was best I… step back from Rosehall.” Junia explained, sadness present in her tone as she talked about leaving the place that had been her sole purpose for her entire life. “I have healers on my staff that deserve the promotion, including Azriel’s mother, who has used her experiences to really become a confidant and friend to so many of our residents.” 

Azriel’s throat bobbed at the mention of just how much his mom had healed and helped since she escaped his father. 

Excitement filled the room at the possibility of adding another to their family. But Junia was still painfully aware of just how many questions everyone had.

“Alright, now that all the nitty gritty is out of the way, you can all begin your interrogation,” she teased.

All at once, tens of questions left everyone’s mouth. Not a single one able to be distinguished over the rest.

Azriel’s hand reached down to hold Junia’s, squeezing her while seeming to say I told you we should have escaped while we could.

They both downed their wine glasses while they waited for the Inner Circle to tire themselves out. 

A/N: Originally, this was the end. But I think I created so much backstory and also fell too much in love with Junia not to add more. So please let me know if you'd like more to this series! (And what you’d like to see)

Taglist: @bunnyred-blog1 @that-one-bibliophole @fuckingsimp4azriel @daughterofthemoons-stuff @minaaminaa8 @lilah-asteria @azrielswhore @maksamillion

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[maeedrg]

NEW PIERCINGS ?

Gojo x nipples pierced reader

ᯓ★

Synopsis : in which reader just got her nipples pierced, and wants to make it a surprise to her boyfriend. Well, he really liked it.

Words count : 3k

Warnings : fluff, swearing, smut, reader is fem, nipple play, half public sex, squirting, p in v, pet names, kinda jealous Gojo ?

જ⁀➴ ⠀ׂ Autor’s note : I got my nipples pierced this weekend, so I needed to do a fanfic about it.

｡⋆˚⋆✩₊⋆˚｡⋆♡⋆｡⋆ ˚｡⋆⊹⋆ ˚⋆｡⋆✧⋆˚｡⋆⋆ ｡⋆˚⋆✩₊⋆˚｡⋆♡⋆｡⋆ ˚｡⋆⊹⋆

Ouch. It’s so damn sensitive. Why is it so cold outside, anyways ? And the damn wind that goes through your clothes and hardens your nipples really wasn’t what you needed right now. Barely some minutes ago, you went to your favorite piercing shop, and got your breast pierced. On both sides. The fresh jewel on your flesh that gets colder because of the wind, reminds you how sensitive the area was for now. You sigh, sucking up a breath and deciding to look at your phone. You didn’t answer the texts of your boyfriend, after all. But you had a good reason. These new piercings were a surprise ! 

From ‘ Kakashi 2.0 : 

“I just ate 11 mochis, my belly hurts”

“nevermind I have room for more lol”

seen

“uh why aren’t you answering your beautiful boyfriend…. the fuck”

“alright girl in what position you guys are”

“HEY ARE YOU DEAD ?!!!!”

“The way I’m going to hollow purple this bitch you are with if you don’t answer right now”

seen

Oh oh. You can’t stop yourself from having a laugh escaping your lips. Both from silliness at Satoru’s text, and from nervousness. Yeah, maybe you did ignore him for half of the day… But hey, your excuses are valid ! And you didn’t think he would notice, since today he had a busy schedule, normally. As you walk back home, a bit like a truck, to avoid your clothes from brushing too often your nipples and the pain that comes with it, you decide to text back your boyfriend. The moment you start to type, suddenly two long arms wrap around your stomach and smash you against the chest of someone. You open wider your eyes, startled, but quickly relax when you recognize this familiar cologne that you love oh so much.

“Police, got the cheater ! What can you say to defend yourself, baby, uh ? I bet he didn’t even fuck you that well,” exclaims Satoru’s voice in your ear, pouting slightly and when you turn your head you can imagine how his eyebrows frown behind his blindfold.

“You scared me here !” you answer, breathing back normally and keeping your body rigid. Without knowing, the way he was hugging you from behind made the tissue of your clothes tighter. Which means hurting your sensitive breast. You bite the inside of your cheek to avoid hissing of pain.

“You are the one that scared me ! Why didn’t you answer for so long ? Didn’t you say you had nothing to do today, and would stay at home ?” continues your boyfriend, frowning and looking at you up and down. He directly notices how your body is tense. Weird…

“I wasn’t cheating on you, you idiot. But sorry for not answering, I had something to do,” you answer vaguely, taking off his arms from your waist. At first he keeps his iron grip around you, but sighs and loosen his hands when seeing your discomfort.

“Awww, you’re so mean. I still manage to text you when I’m killing curses, so what got you so busy to not be able to do it for a whole afternoon ?” he asks, pouting even more as he slides his hand in the small of your back while walking next to you towards your shared apartment.

You couldn’t tell him that you were occupied with going to the piercing shop (which was a bit far away from home), waiting your turn, then getting pierced, and everything that comes with it until… now. Yeah, it took longer than you thought. 

“Well, I'll tell you later,” you simply answer. Satoru opens his mouth and closes it back, frowning more and tightening his fingers on your hip. You open the door of the building at the same time, and he whines.

“What do you mean ? Is it a new way to torture me by testing my patience ?”

“Poor baby. The Great Gojo Satoru gets bullied by his girlfriend,” you roll your eyes saying that, grabbing his arm to pull him towards you and kiss his cheek. He immediately grins back at the contact of your lips against his cold skin.

“You gotta tell me quickly, then. If you don’t want to face the wrath of The Strongest…” he jokes, before taking your face and chastly kissing your lips mischievously. 

“I’m shaking from fear…” you tease back against his mouth.

A bit later, and after some silly back and forth, you force your boyfriend to wait in the bedroom while you go to the bathroom. Indeed, before showing him your surprise, you needed first to clean it from the small amount of dried blood. Even if Satoru was used to seeing gruesome things everyday, you insisted in your mind that you didn’t want it to be his first impression of your new decorated nipples. So you carefully wash them, with delicacy and care. You hiss slightly, trying to not move too much the jewel, the sensitivity of your skin making it a hard task. Once you are done, you put back your shirt on top and exit the washroom. 

At the sound of the door opening and closing, Satoru perks up and straightens back his seat on the bed. He looks at you, legs sprayed on manspread as he puts down his phone to the side.

“Took you long enough,” he complains.

“Don’t pout. Now are you ready to know the reason why your amazing girlfriend ignored you all afternoon ?” you ask teasingly, tilting your head to the side.

The white haired man quickly nods, eager to know. He even was bouncing his leg up and down, clearly impatient to finally have his answer. You smile, wider, and lift your shirt, exposing to your boyfriend your pierced nipples. Satoru pauses, and then slowly lifts his blindfold to reveal his blue eyes. The look on his face was something you needed to remember. You could feel his Six Eyes staring right back at your chest. 

“No way….” he whispers, cheeks slightly turning red and a cheeky grin forming on his lips as his pupils swing left and right to look at both.

“Yes way. You like it ?” 

He suddenly brings you closer, making you stand in between his legs as he analyzes your breast. He knew it like the palm of his hand, but he needed to discover it all over again now. He was fascinated, intrigued, biting his lower lip in excitement.

“I fucking love it. That’s so hot ! Why didn’t you tell me ? I would have come with you !” he cheers as he looks up at your face, then back down, then your face, then down. His long fingers help you remove your shirt completely, having free rein to touch your skin and admire your torso.

“I wanted to surprise you, that’s why,” you explain.

“Did it hurt ?” Satoru asks as his left thumb softly caresses the bottom of your breast, while the right one brushes your ribs.

“Yeah. But it was quick, to be honest. So it wasn’t that bad. But it’s very sensitive right now, even the brush of clothes can be uncomfortable or hurtful,” you describe as you recall the feeling of the needle, and how a hassle it was to walk down the street with your shirt and jacket touching them every second. 

“Sensitive, uh ?” he muses, his fingers about to touch your bundle of nerves, but you quickly snap it away. He pouts at your glare.

“Nuh-uh. No touching. Your hands aren’t washed, and it will hurt. Plus, I have to avoid touching the jewel or moving it as much as I can for one month,” you quickly explain, facing the sulking face of your man-child boyfriend. He opens wider his eyes at your words.

“One month ?!”

“One month, yes. My piercer said too that I can’t have any contact with… a mouth on it. For at least one month.”

The moment you say that, you see all colors leaving the already pale skin of Satoru. He couldn’t believe it. One of his favorite activities, which was sucking on your tits when having sex, was taken away from him. No way, no way ! He was doomed, cursed ! At what cost ? He couldn’t deny, it looked incredibly hot. But by seeing them, it made him crave touching them, toying with them, and exploring this new aspect of possible sensitivity on your body. That was like a new game to him ! And damn, he couldn’t even play with it for at least one month. That was hell on earth. Alright, maybe he was being a bit melodramatic right now. But Satoru liked to exaggerate when he couldn’t have what he wanted right on the spot.

“Y/n, you’re killing me here. That’s too looooong !”

“You gotta wait, love. Safety first,” you retort, shaking your head as he sighs theatrically, letting his face be buried in your stomach.

“I promise, when it’s healed enough, I’ll play with your tits so much you’ll cry for me to stop,” he pouts, muttering that, gazing back up at your face. You chuckle, caressing his hair. He really was a menace.

“Hey, don’t make me suffer here. I’m just doing what my piercer told me to do. He was clear about no contact-”, you start to say, before Satoru cuts you in the middle of your sentence, “he ?!”. 

You roll your eyes, trying to not laugh at his over exaggerated facial reaction. “Yes Satoru, he.”

“I can’t believe that you betrayed me like that… First you cheat on me with your piercer, and now I can't suck your tits for one month. What a tragedy ! The downfall of The Strongest…” he exclaims, dramatically falling backwards on the mattress behind him, bringing you to straddle him while he puts his free hand over his forehead as if he just fainted. 

“It’s literally his job ! You really are a drama queen…” you slightly chuckle, flocking his forehead and he whines at the pain. When he was with you, he really reminded you of a husky. Always being loud over every tiny inconvenience, or just any situation, to be honest.

“Well, maybe I can’t suck on the gorgeous boobs of my girlfriend, but I can still eat her out. Right ?” he suddenly states, lifting himself on his elbow and eying you down with his stupid wolfish grin of his. 

“Well, technically yes, but I didn’t shower so-”

“Perfect then !” he interrupts you as he flips you over, gently actually, to be sure to not hurt you, and then in a swift movement takes off your pants and pry open your thighs.

“Satoru, I still didn’t have time to shower !”

“You think I care ?” he answers as if you just said the dumbest thing ever, bringing your leg over his shoulder and kissing the inside of your flesh.

“Satoru…”

“That would be my distraction for one month, deal ?” he asks, eyes meeting yours as he kisses the top of your panties.

Oh, you were in for a ride. Of his face. 

જ⁀➴ ⠀ׂ  

Heavens could be applause, time has come. You finally, finally could go back to your… activities with Satoru, as your piercings were healed enough. Through the weeks of healing, you realized that the myth of having this area pierced could possibly bring a higher sensitivity wasn’t fake. And your boyfriend was adamant on testing that right now. He was eager, way too eager, maybe. Satoru couldn’t wait, to the point that when you gave him the green light this morning by text, he decided that the moment he would finish his daily missions of exorcizing curses, he would do it.

Hell, he was being for real ! You were walking in the corridor of the campus, when a tall figure teleported right in front of you. You lift your head, a bit startled, and sigh when you realize it simply was your boyfriend.

“Satoru ? You already finished your miss- ah !” you get cut off the moment he grabs your legs and swings you over his shoulder, lifting you up and carrying you like that without a care in the world. His hand slaps your butt, staying on it to keep you steady as you now are hanging over him.

“I made it quick,” he simply answered in a tone of voice that meant business. Oh, the tension was high, very high.

He opens the door of an empty classroom, and closes it swiftly behind him, locking it in a soft thud. He puts you down on a table, looming over you.

“Love, it’s a classroom, what if some students enters-”

“Nobody will, I made sure of that,” he answers quickly, taking off his blindfold and looking at you with such hungry eyes that you shiver. Oh, the man was starved. 

He unbuttons your jacket and throws it on a chair, before doing so with your shirt while he smashes his lips against yours, not letting you answer him. There was no time to even talk, his mouth was eager. Why talking, anyways ? When he could instead please you like you both dreamed since the night you came back home with your little… surprise.

 His lips were moving against yours with need, and in no time you felt his cold fingers cup your breast. He presses himself in between your thigh, and at the same time his thumb caresses your hardened nipple, toying finally with the jewel. You open your eyes at the feeling, and let out a strangled moan of surprise. Fuck, it indeed was more sensitive than you remember it being before. After so long, this area was damn touch starved. And God, how good it felt, and that just from a small tiny touch.

He smiles against your lips, and presses his hard crotch against yours. Painfully hard, actually. Satoru bites your lower lip as he pinches your bundle of nerves, his other hand doing the same on the right side. His tongue invades your mouth and you quickly start to feel overwhelmed. He swallows your sweet moans of pleasure and whines of relief at the sensation. It started to feel warm, and you wanted more stimulation. Why was it so exciting ?

He chuckles and trails his lips down your neck, to your collarbone, tongue sliding towards your left tit. Without more useless teasing, his lips are on your nipple, and his tongue swirls around the jewel. You yank your head backwards, biting the inside of your cheek. His eyes are on you the whole time, drinking your cute facial reactions each time his tongue flickers on the top of your nipple, or on the way the jewel slightly moves left and right. He goes to suck on the right one, using his left hand to continue to stimulate both at the same time. 

“Feels good, uh ?”

You nod, not understanding how pleasurable it was. Because fuck, your body was on fire right now. The sensitivity of the area went skyrocket, and you squeeze your thighs around the hips of your lover as he continues to grind against your clothed cunt. He lifts a bit more up your skirt, allowing him more space to stimulate you down there as he eats your tits hungrily like the starved man he is.

“How cute,” he muses, sliding your panties on the side and pulling a bit down his pants to press his boxer against your slit. His voice rumbles against your piercing and makes you giddy. He was sucking on them so much it started to be sore, but you didn’t want it to stop, because you craved it to the bones.

You have no time to ride your pleasure that you feel his cock tapping a few times against your clit before smudging his precum and your wetness together, and then entering in one go inside your pussy. It went as easy as damn butter, you were so fucking soaked. And Satoru couldn’t help but roll down his eyes at the sensation, biting slightly your nipple to tease you and make you squeeze your walls around his dick. Just like the way he loved. Good, very good.

“So fucking tight-” he mutters, kissing back your lips to slide his tongue inside your mouth, using both of his hands to play with your breast now while he pounds quickly, chasing some relief and wanting to drive you faster to the edge. After all, it was risky, and you guys couldn’t fool around too long. He just wanted to make you cum first, to drive you slightly crazy. Tonight he would have all the time of the world to completely take care of you and your tits. Right now it was just… a trial.

“Wait, I’ll-” you babble, moaning louder as he tugs both piercings at the same time, thrusting hard inside your dripping walls. 

“Wait ? Nah,” he chuckles lightly, slamming his hips faster as he yanks your hair to allow him access to your neck, sucking on it and leaving a red mark. Well, that was inappropriate, other people could see it, but who cares. Satoru didn’t give a damn about that, anyways.

He slaps your tits before sucking back on them, gripping your ass to bring you even closer. You clench your pussy around his cock, the feeling overwhelming, his hot and wet mouth stimulating exactly where you wanted him too, his tongue working magic. Both the sensation of the coldness of the jewel, and the warmth of his tongue, was an amazing duality that made your head spin.

The pleasure was so good that you suddenly cum all over him, legs shaking and accidently wetting a bit of his boxer and the bottom of his shirt. You breath heavily, his lips kissing your tit before looking slowly back up at you while you come down your high. He smiles, still inside your cunt, not done yet with you, and straightens back as he bites his lower lip. He then asks : 

“Maybe I should get my nipples pierced too. What do you think, sweetheart ?” 

THE END 

[niceonejames7]

the sirius watermelon fic was SO CUTE I NEED A PART TWO OF THEM GETTING TOGETHER

watermelon pyjamas pt.2

sirius finally tells you how he feels. (the classic angry confession trope) part 1

words: 1.7k

genre: literally idiots™ to lovers, roommate!sirius, hurt/comfort(?), confession, lil angst, ends with fluff.

a/n: guys this is like my first ask. eeeek! thanks for requesting and reading<3

.....

“I’m an idiot”

“You're gonna have to elaborate."

“James, please."

Sirius wasn't sure if he would classify this as a bad day. Realising he's in love with you wasn't the worst thing that could happen to him, but hearing James gloat about how right he had been was.

He had managed to avoid you that evening, even the next day, internally panicking over what to do. But he was home in the evening, ignoring that stupid warm feeling in his chest when he saw your shoes in front of the door.

He entered the room, and sighed.

I'm fucked.

“Did you buy fruit themed pyjamas?" Sirius asked, his eyes moving over the cherry printed clothing. He was annoyed, not at you, mostly at himself. He couldn't find a single explanation why this affected him so much, but it did.

“I have watermelon, cherry, kiwi and peach.” You counted on your fingers.

“Wear the peach one tomorrow." Sirius grimaced at his too quick of a response, thankfully his face wasn't visible. He wasn't very proud of himself right now.

"I meant like- as a suggestion, that sounds cute, you know." He tries to explain himself, cringing on his own words.

Your eyebrows raise in surprise, amused by his eagerness, “Do you want these? You seem to like them a lot." You asked cheekily.

Yeah, sure. That's exactly why I want you to wear these, Sirius though internally. His thoughts had involved you in his bed with the pants on, maybe off, but he kept that shamefully to himself.

The next couple of days felt torturous. Sirius felt like he had to physically restrain himself from reaching for you. Anytime you touch his shoulder, lean against him, huddle together on the couch, he overthought everything.

Every touch left him breathless, every look made it hard to breath. I need help.

.

You were distraught. For some reason, for the last few days, Sirius was acting weird. He had started pulling away from you, as if watching you from a distance. No ruffling your hair, no forehead kisses, no comfortable touches. It's not as if he owed you any affection, but he had stopped.

He knew.

He knew you had feelings for him. Even if he doesn't, which you desperately hope is the truth, he has a problem. You didn't know what to do. Everytime you thought to ask him something, he'd make up an excuse and leave. He definitely didn't want to talk to you.

Lily had suggested exactly as you predicted, the usual, you should talk to him, maybe he was just busy. And other times, she had been right, but not this time. All of this had led you to the inevitable decision, something you should have done long ago. Maybe if you had, this wouldn't have happened.

……

"I'm gonna move out, Lils.” You say into the phone,"What? Why?” Lily exclaimed, rather dramatically.

You sigh,"I can't live like this. He doesn't owe me anything. I shouldn't be expecting… things from him.”

There's a slight pause before you continue,"And I can't move on if I live with him. It's too painful, and too hard."

“Here's the real reason."

Lily felt like bashing her head against a wall. How can two people be so stupid at the same time? You two were perfect for each other, both too oblivious to see the obvious.

“Listen, I really think you should just tell him, even if you move out. He wouldn't stop being your friend, honey."

You hum as she says, but part of you knows you can't say it. You don't have the guts. You hear the familiar click of the door, Sirius is home.

“Lils, I've gotta go. I'll talk to you later." You hang up the phone, not listening to whatever she said at the end, too nervous to care.

Your hands are sweaty, and your hands are fidgeting constantly. Sirius comes in and can immediately sense your anxious energy,

“What happened, lovely?" He asks, his voice cooing as he moves over to you.

He's used to you busying yourself around the house, sometimes bobbing your head to music as you wash the dishes, or some other silly thing, he could go on.

“Sirius, we need to talk." You say quickly, your words too rushed, dreading this conversation.

Sirius' heart feels like it's going to lurch out.

Oh no.

He thinks that you know, somehow. That he had… he'd stopped saying it at a point. The impossibility of it all was a painful reminder. Now you're going to confront him. He's fucked.

“Okay…” He says, his voice too quiet now.

You rub your hands to pep yourself up, encouraging yourself to not lose track,

“I'm gonna move out."

The silence that takes over is one more overwhelming than any noise. Sirius is sure now, you definitely know. A dangerous dread spreads over his body, like a disease covering itself around him.

“It's not because of you, it's because of me." Sirius has the urge to scoff at the cliched statement, but his body feels too stiff, his eyes stuck on you.

But Sirius needed closure. So, whatever your feelings were, Sirius needed to hear why you're leaving.

“Why?" His voice is void of emotion. It breaks your heart.

A pitiful chuckle escaped you, “Sirius, you've made it clear you don't want me here."

Don't confront him. This wasn't the plan.

It wasn't. It wasn't even the reason you were moving out. But he was still your friend, he had still hurt your feelings. You were still mad at him, even though you had no right to be.

“What the hell do you mean?" Sirius asks, incredulous. How could he ever not want you here?

“We haven't talked properly in days. You answer me in singular words-"

Sirius cuts you off, feeling oddly defensive, even if what you were saying wasn't untrue,

“I've been busy-"

“Oh you've been busy before, Sirius. You never did this," You wave him off, but meeting his eyes, you say, “It's alright, I got the message, if you don't want me here-" Your voice rises despite your efforts as the conversation gets more heated,

"So what then? You're just gonna move out? Am I that terrible?” Sirius asks, sarcastically. Typical, you think. You pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration,

"Sirius, I told you, this isn't about you,”

Right now, he isn't keen on listening to your reasoning. In his mind, it's all his fault. It's his fault that you have to leave. He's scrambling for explanations,

"Look, I'm sorry that I'm in love with you, alright? I couldn't help myself. Hell,” He laughs, pity and amusement lacing his words, “I didn't even know until a few weeks ago.”

Sirius felt like his world was falling apart. His heart has dared to love someone, and it backfired. He doesn't regret that he loves you, he couldn't. He had no control over that, ever. He was always going to be in love with you.

He only regrets that you found out, somehow. But he supposed that was also inevitable, you weren't daft.

“The point is,” His pleading eyes look at you, “It’s my problem to deal with, not yours.” His eyes are watching your face, you don't know what he might find, “Please, don't leave.”

A few moments pass, and it's as if the world is coming back to you. And one sentence rings in your head, distinct from any other sentence he's said.

I'm sorry that I'm in love with you.

“You what??” You ask, your voice full of incredulity. It feels like someone had hit you with a hammer, or pushed you off a cliff.

“I didn't want to be the guy who's your friend and then tells you he's in love with you, you know? I'm sorry that I love you, but you don't have to leave. If it matters, I will. You should stay here.” Sirius stammers out, his voice laced with pain and nervousness.

Your hands are wrapped under his, his hands clutching yours like they could stop you. They probably did stop you.

"You're in love with me?” You ask, your heart in your mouth, as if one word would be enough to tip you over.

“Please don't make me say it again." Sirius pleads, his eyes slightly watery.

Your eyes flick back and forth to both of his, searching for any kind of hesitance on his face, but it's plain. He's said those words like they were casual, as if they didn't just break your brain. There's nothing to say, or there are no words coming to your brain which are enough to convey your emotions.

A smile spreads across your lips and you bite your lips to conceal it undoing your hands from his to cradle his face,

“You’re in love with me.”

Sirius' pleading frown transforms to a confused one, and he nods, even if you hadn't asked it as a question this time.

You laugh, a watery laugh before you meet your lips to his, smiling too hard to kiss him properly.

Sirius feels like his body is on autopilot, his hands immediately cradling the back of your neck, his other one holding your wrist, his lips immediately responding to yours, as if it was all too natural.

In all his ‘foreseen’ outcomes, this hadn't been a possibility.

He smiles too, confusion still evident at the back of his mind, but he could only focus on the feeling of your lips on his, your hands holding his face.

His head tilts as he tries to get a better angle, desperate to know your tells and signs, his hand wrapping around your waist to pull you closer.

You smile again, breaking the kiss but his lips chase you which makes you laugh more, and he hides his face in your shoulder, laughing along with you.

“You're in love with me," You say it quietly, as if you're confirming it to yourself, but he's too close by not to listen.

“And here I was, moving out because I wanted to get over you."

His head whips up, his face dumbstruck,

“What?"

“Mhmm." You bite your lips, and Sirius has half a mind to kiss you again.

“You're also in…." He trails off, his expression confused but you know exactly what he's asking,

“Sirius, I just kissed you."

“Yeah, but what if you just took pity-" You shut him up again, and he melts, exactly as you intended, moulding his body to yours, trying to get as close as he can. If this was your way to shut him up, he could get used to it.

"Wait, so you're not moving out right? Because-" And his words are cut off again, the same way from before.

He smiles against your lips, again, ecstatic. Giddy, even. Sirius could get used to this. Sirius could get used to kissing you as he arrives home.

All this because of fucking watermelon pyjamas.

[disco-wyrm]

Honestly, only @cipherbunz would know who any of these OCs are, but it looked fun to do :P if you wanna know more about them, feel free to ask, i will gladly wordvomit about them <3

tw: torture, physical & emotional ab*se, mental health issues and death.

1. I don't really have one in particular for this one? If I had to choose, it'd probably be Swan. She's a tough lady, but she's just not built for deserts and hot environments.

2. Nobu, the man doesn't really even notice most of them anyway. Could definitely see him with a couple injuries he hasn't even noticed/doesn't think they're that much of an issue. Downsides of a really good pain tolerance, I guess?

3. Maverick. Hands down, that poor bastard's been through so much lol. His fiancée gets killed by his own father, his clan is destroyed, he gets dragged into TWO wars, experimented on, and then isolates himself because he's afraid of entering cities for reasons he can't even remember. Oh, and Death won't let him die bc Fate told them to for the plot and didn't elaborate on why so he's stuck surviving all of it.

4. Onyx, by his own adopted brother at that. Arcus didn't really take Onyx's (percieved) abandonment of him very well. Both of them need therapy, yeesh...

5. Leo and his crew. They're my world-hopping pirates, and definitely not of their own choice. Leo has sworn to kill whatever fate or god has damned them to getting yoinked into different dimensions, so I should probably watch my back lol

6. Alexei. Man has a while doomed yaoi thing going on with his ex/bestie for the past millennia or so. I guess both being vampires from Shakespearean times in a cyberpunk future equals some kind of trauma bonding? They don't even realize they're still flirting, it's painful to watch, really.

7. Onyx, he's one of my oldest ocs and i love putting my lil guy in Situations.

8. Leo and his crew again, for obvious reasons

9. Aster, by a young water spirit. She healed him, and he helped care for her in return. She then taught him alchemy, something her species knows instinctively via generational memories. He's now one of the best alchemists in the region.

10. Onyx and Maverick. Both killed by family and revived for different reasons. Maverick was bc of the plot, while Onyx was revived bc his s/o made a deal with Death for him. Maverick is in denial about his immortality, while Onyx is completely unaware that he actually died.

11. Winter/Winniel. Poor guy's scared of being even slightly out of line due to the tyrant king of his homeland. And as the royal alchemist, he's pretty close to the king. The king has convinced him so much of his weakness that he doesn't dare consider rebellion, convinced that he stands no chance even though physically he could definitely take him in a fight.

12. Kipp has compartmentalized his trauma and stress from his work, putting on a cheery and almost innocent persona to put his loved ones (and himself) at ease. At this point, he's not really sure which "him" is the real him anymore.

13. Acheron, constantly. It's technically magic tears that leak out no matter what he tries, and occasionally they form into little blob crows. They are his babies and he loves them dearly.

14. I'll pick Juno for this one. He's stuck in a control spell by an evil sorceress, and she usually gets him to kill people she wants to get rid of, or sometimes even people he comes across. He hates the lack of choice, so often he makes the choice to attack them on his own. Not healthy at all, and he'd rather not, but it's the only way he knows to exert control over his life.

15. Usually "comfort after a nightmare" scenarios are my favorite. Once they're calm(er), it's usually a pretty sweet moment. Easily turns to fluff afterwards.

Torturing your ocs ask game :)

(Delightful, I know. But we all do it sometimes)

1. Which of your ocs do you most often imagine sick? In what ways?

2. Which of them do you most imagine injured in other ways?

3. Who do you put through the most emotional turmoil?

4. Which oc has been tortured? Through what means?

5. Which of them has the worst luck?

6. Who goes through the most relationship conflicts? (applies to any relationships)

7. Who do you put most into stressful situations or other drama?

8. Who ends up in survival situations the most? How do they fair in them?

9. Has any of them had to be saved from the brink of death? Were there any consequences after?

10. Has any of them had to be revived / brought back to life? How did this affect them?

11. Who is afraid the most? How does this effect them?

12. What kind of health repercussions has your oc experienced through intense stress? How do they manage them?

13. Who cries the most often? What are the usual causes?

14. How does your oc cope?

15. To cap off what kind of hurt/comfort scenarios do you put your oc in?

This can be about canon story events or simply rotating scenarios for fun!

[maxdibert]

“Sirius killed people-“ so did Snape, supposedly loved Lily but betrayed her location to Voldemort because he was jealous of James actually winning her heart, not to mention convincing Harry the abuse was his fault, nearly giving Neville PTSD to the point where his boggart was Severus Snape himself, being a racist pos to anyone born of muggle parents, and becoming a high ranking member of the death eaters so what? He could protect Harry?

“It’s easier to cry in a Ferrari-“

it’s easier to defend a terrible character and play the racism and eat the rich card when you can’t understand context and inference clues that JK Rowling laid out.

What’s easy is inventing canon. What a load of made-up nonsense, mate.

1. Learn to read. I didn’t say Sirius killed anyone, but he did attempt murder. And he did it because he thought it was funny to torture Severus.

2. There’s no evidence that Severus killed anyone before Dumbledore asked him for euthanasia. This is made quite clear when Dumbledore talks about his concern for Draco’s soul, and Severus immediately questions him about his own soul. If Severus is so worried about it, it’s implied he hadn’t killed anyone before—or at least not in cold blood.

3. Have you even read the books? The only person who knew the Potters’ location was Peter. He’s the one who betrayed them.

4. There’s no evidence he was a racist. First off, equating racism with the concept of blood purity not only trivializes a serious social issue but also makes it clear that some of you have no idea what racism is or its history. The discriminatory dynamics and their foundations are completely different. But anyway, putting that aside, there’s no evidence whatsoever that Severus discriminated against Muggle-borns. The only time he makes a comment is during the incident with Lily—which, conveniently, happens when James and Sirius are sexually assaulting him, and Lily seems to smile at James. I don’t think you can judge someone’s ideology based on a comment made in an extremely tense moment. Canonically, Severus doesn’t treat Muggle-born students worse in class or make comments about their heritage. Nor does he badmouth Muggles. At most, he makes condescending remarks—which, let’s be real, all the characters do, even the “good ones,” because they’re ridiculously patronizing toward Muggles.

5. Severus was literally a double agent and reached the highest ranks of the Death Eaters to, yes, protect Harry. That’s literally why. He’s following Dumbledore’s orders. Like, have you read the books, or are you just pulling this stuff from fanfics? 99% of what you’ve said so far is pure fantasy, mate.

6. Yes, love, it’s actually pretty easy for me to defend people whose actions are a direct consequence of their life circumstances, and whose poor decisions were directly influenced by a lack of opportunities, security, and the violence of their environment. In fact, that’s literally my job. That’s what I do for a living.

Look, I don’t give a damn if you’re a Sirius fangirl. You can love a character while admitting he was a massive piece of crap. I love The Penguin, and there’s no way to justify him at all. Like, it’s fine, you know? You also have every right to feel sorry for him—I’m not going to judge you for that or anything. I’m not invalidating other people’s feelings if they think Sirius’s life was super tragic and feel a lot of compassion for him. Everyone has their own feelings and points of empathy. But that’s not the case for me. I don’t feel sorry for him. There’s no excuse for being an abusive bully with sociopathic tendencies toward someone who was canonically in a position of social and economic disadvantage. If Severus had come from a good family, with money and power—or if Sirius had been someone without a name, wealth, or status—then I’d view the situation differently because they would have been on equal footing. But just like the Black family chose Muggle-borns to torture because they knew they could, Sirius chose Severus because he knew he could. He’s a hypocrite and a piece of garbage. At least Bellatrix admitted her tendencies.

[gilverrwrites]

Imagine desperate Jason crawling through your window late at night. You've been crushing on each other for a while now, but he is blind by his insecurities to see your obvious heart eyes. His self control has finally snapped- maybe you've been putting your hand on his thigh or leaning against him, dropping hints that only push him over the edge. He very quietly, very carefully slips into your bed. "Just once..." he thinks, slipping your panties off your sleeping form "one time and I'll be okay..."

Jason Todd/Reader I can't lie, there's little more I enjoy than writing Jason being being a little bit depraved and/or pathetic. Sorry to my fellow ugly sleepers with thunderous snores, we're babes too. Warnings: Dub-con, somno

Just this once he'd told himself the very first time he’d jimmied your rusty old window lock open with his switchblade. Your texts had stopped abruptly, all he wanted to do was poke his head in and check that you were safe and sound, tucked up in bed.

Just this once he'd said again, the next time as your creaky hardwood floors cried out beneath the weight of his steel-toed boots. You were bedridden with flu. He was being a good friend, checking your temperature and refilling your water.

Just this once he'd promised the time he settled onto the edge of your bed, taking respite from a rough night by watching you; so serene, so peaceful. He listened to the sound of your shallow breathing until his eyes grew heavy.

Just this once he’ll allow himself to really relax, just this once he’ll kick off his shoes, take off his hood and lie beside you. He just needs to be close to you, to feel your warmth beside him, to feel your breath on his skin.

Just this once he’d sworn every time, but now he knows exactly what angle to tap your lock at, which floorboards make the least noise, how slowly to lower his weight onto your bed to prevent it dipping under his weight too quickly and making you stir.

But just this once he needs more from you than he would normally take.

You've been so hard to be around lately, his self-control is in pieces. You stomp on it every time you run your fingers through his hair. It sets his skin a blade when you hold his hand. He can feel his heartbeat in his throat when you whisper in his ear. You’ve picked up this maddening habit of resting your fingers on his thigh whenever you sit beside him, and it makes his cock ache for your touch. How can you not see what you’re doing to him? How badly he wants you? It’s torture. Pretty soon he’ll have ground his teeth down to dust from gritting them to keep from kissing you every time you bat your lashes and twirl your hair.

Just this once he’ll pull the covers all the way back. He’ll take his gloves off so he can feel your bare skin against his cracked fingers. He’ll savour the sweet sounds of your sleepy musings, how you murmur and moan for him when he brushes his thumbs across your nipples, how your back arches as he traces the curve of your stomach and dips his fingers below the elastic of your underwear; he’ll commit it all to memory.

He barely even has to do anything, you spread your legs so eagerly once he gets your panties off. Your slit is so hot and wet, his fingers glide between your lips. He should slow down, should make sure he’s not disturbing you, but your body responds so well to him, your pussy swallowing up his digits with no resistance. You’re just begging for him.  

He shakes as he works his belt open. Soft whimpers of his own escape his lips, delicate sounds he’d loathe for you to hear as he palms his length, rubbing it with your slick before lining it up with your needy entrance.  

Just this once, to get you out of his system.

[livelaughlovesubs]

Happy anniversary! Could you do the prompt punishing/torturing toji after he lied to shiu about being a Dom or something? And then shiu tells reader and she decides to show shiu what really happens in bed 👹👹

Apologies if it’s hard to understand but I hope u see the vision

Once again happy anniversary!

I wasn’t sure if you wanted reader to fuck Toji in front of shiu or just to punish him… I went with the latter sooo

Dom!reader x sub!toji - reader is gn

Warning: orgasm deny, edging, foot job, stepping, teasing, pet play (?), degradation, bondage

Anniversary event

“Y/nnnn~” shiu slurred over your name, snickering as he tapped his cigarette over the ashtray. “You know, I was surprised when I found out your preferences.” He held an almost empty glass with his other hand, and you cheered your own drink against his. “Oh really? Still surprised I’m dating this guy over here?” You stubbed your elbow against Toji, who sat next to you, then you chuckled, “that joke’s getting old.”

He empties the last bits of his beverage and said, “no no, not thaaat. I mean you didn’t give off the feels of…” he stopped for a moment to take a drag, thinking over his words. It was obvious that he was tipsy, if not, drunk. You didn’t really pay attention to a drunk’s blabbering, not until he continued with, “…you know, of a sub, haha!” Suddenly you froze, what did he just say? Before you got the chance to ask, Toji slammed his fist against the table and growled, “cut the crap, don’t talk nonsense when you are wasted.”

“Oh , I didn’t mean it in a condescending way, I was just surprised when you told me.” While he said that, he locked eyes with your dearest boyfriend, so when he said ‘you’… “don’t listen to him, y/n. He’s drunk.” Your partner commented, his voice had a hint of hesitation, he also glared at Shiu, who didn’t even notice the hostile glances. “I want to hear more though. What else did this guy say?” You ignored him and turned your focus to the male sitting across the table.

“I don’t remember all that well, just, that he was the one in charge?” After finishing his sentence he took another drag of his cigarette. Toji hastily stood up and told you, “no way, he’s making things up. Why would I do that anyway?” His smile looked a little crooked, you knew him well enough to tell if he was lying. “Huh? I thought you were bragging about it.” Shiu asked, almost naively. If he wasn’t drunk before he definitely was now. “Fucking hell, can’t you just shut up.” The little scar on his lips twitched when he spoke, and he was certainly agitated.

You smiled through it all, speaking as calm as you managed, “so that’s what happened? Haha.” Toji turned to look at you, mumbling in a quieter tone, “you don’t believe him, right y/n?” Your lips curled up in an unnatural way when you said, “why, of course I don’t. Anyway, it’s time to head home now.” Just as how you could read his lies, he could also see through your facade, and he cursed Shiu under his breath as he responded, “alright.”

He fucked up. No, really, he fucked up big this time, and both of you knew. He didn’t know Shiu would be so vocal when drunk, and he also didn’t expect him to remember what he said. It’s not his fault now is it? If anything, it’s partly shiu’s as well, since he asked how your relationship was progressing and teased him about subbing for you. He got provocative, he was basically forced to lie about it!

That’s why it’s so unfair that he’s the only one getting punished, why’s he always getting the shorter end of the stick? Stripped naked with his arms tied behind his back, a raging boner standing proud between his legs as he kneeled before you. Whenever he gazed up to meet your eyes, you stared down at him coldly, making him squirm in painful delight.

“Even under such circumstances you can still think of other things?” You tapped his cheek with your foot, arms crossed over your chest. “No I-” “shut it, Toji, dogs don’t talk.” His brows furrowed and he pressed his lips into a thin line. “I can think of many reasons why you did that, but it doesn’t make me any less angry.” Now you placed your foot on his thighs, and stared down. “You know this is a punishment, try your best.”

Before he got time to prepare himself, you stepped down on his dick, pressing it against his pelvis. The sticky liquid stuck to his lower abdomen like glue. “Ah- uuh, urghHh..! Wai-” he quickly stopped himself and bit his bottom lip, he couldn’t afford to make mistakes now. “Was I too lenient with you?” Despite your choice of words, you weren’t talking to him and neither did you want him to answer. “So much that the dog forgot who’s the master and went around barking at people?”

Ah damn it, if you were going to degrade him with that fierce look in your eyes, all while teasing him like this, he wont be able to last. His sex twitched underneath you, and he struggled against the ropes. You could see the tips of his teeth biting his lips until it bled, or how his muscles were tensing up in response to your actions. His skin was glistening from his sweat, and his cheeks were blushing like crazy. “Filthy beast. I didn’t think you’d enjoy your punishment this much.” Then you pressed down harder, causing him to melt, to drown in ecstasy.

“UrggHhh..! Ah f-fuck…” he moaned and cursed, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt himself getting close, god he was withering. It was truly humiliating how much he loved this, the pain, the pleasure and the intensity of the moment. Really, he was so close, but how was he going to warn you when he wasn’t allowed to speak? “Nghh…! Hmm-mhm..? AhhHHhh～♡♥︎♡!!” Without warning, you rubbed his tip with your toes, enough until it was completely covered in his precum.

Once you were content, you pulled back and wiped your foot against his chest, right before he got to cum. “Argh- ah, ahh.. y-y/n..!” This time he couldn’t stop himself from calling your name. Head thrown upwards, eyes glassy as his saliva dropped down the corner of his mouth all the way to his chin. He was so confused, why did you stop? But the second he saw the look on your face, he knew the answer to his question.

“That reminds me, since I’m apparently the sub, I shouldn’t be doing these kind of stuff with you.” You snarled with a wide, sharp grin. “No- wait, I, I’m sorry okay? Just- let me cum.” He hastily yelled, squirming around and shaking with the desire for release. “No can’t do, I’m afraid I don’t know how?” The sound of your giggles rang in his mind. Afterwards, he wanted to protest again, but you just climbed into the bed and yawned, “anyway, I’ll go to bed first. Don’t wake me, alright my dear puppy?”

Even though it was formulated into a question, he knew very well it was a command. And he also knew, he had no way out of this. “Urgh- shit..” he groaned, trying to move away from his spot but failing to do so. This was the punishment you’ve planned from the very beginning huh? With a trembling and somewhat desperate voice, he whimpered, “I understand… sleep well, master.”

[ghostdiva]

Ya know, I never really thought to compare Jax and Deadpool as characters, mostly because of how vastly different the medias they come from are. My brain didn't connect the dots until I saw this post.

The idea that Jax acts the way he does because he believes that he's now a fictional character in a show, meant to entertain an audience. It really makes sense when you look at every way Jax has messed with the other members of the circus crew. It's very reminiscent of looney tunes slapstick comedy. Cause like, in looney tunes, animaniacs, and Deadpool; 4th wall breaks are common. Characters like bugs bunny, and yakko commonly address the creators of their own media. Deadpool also does this, along with violently abusing the 4th wall. And yes, I do think it's worth noting how Deadpool only starts breaking the 4th AFTER going through the serious trauma that was tied to getting his superpowers.

But I digress, I do think that Jax copes with the digital world by believing that he's just a fictional character, meant to entertain an audience. If that means breaking the 4th wall, and messing with others, then that's what he'll do.

I think it's also why Jax gets annoyed when the others are open about their emotions and stuff. The reality of their emotions, threatens to break the illusion of fictionality that Jax has spun for himself. Because if this is real, then he really is stuck in a digital purgatory where all of them are being unintentionally tortured by Caine, and it won't end until they suffer a psychotic break hard enough that they abstract, and are sent to a dark cellar where they spend the rest of time.

With Gooseworx all but confirming that the Jax being an AI thing is bullshit, I personally want to talk about an interesting part about Jax that a lot of theorists used as "evidence" that validates the theory:

Jax's fourth wall breaks are a common topic brought up amongst the "Jax is an NPC" theory. After all, Caine broke the fourth wall in the pilot, knowing full well that the world of The Amazing Digital Circus isn't real and is talking to some unseen viewer as he introduces the Circus Crew.

There's also this bit of official art surrounding Jax's pin:

Where everyone else is inside their room, Jax is outside as pieces of the circus fall apart around him and all of reality to crash. Certainly lends itself to this idea that Jax knows he's not a real person and that his presence could cause great disruption to this world. And he doesn't care because none of it is real. Might as well have fun and cause chaos in a world that doesn't exist.

And I'll admit, all of this seems like valid claims for how the theory could be true. I saw it all and thought that it surely COULD be possible...but there are some things that stop me from being convinced.

Firstly, Caine breaking the fourth wall in the pilot doesn't really seem like an AI talking to the audience. It looks more like an AI programmed to talk to a player as a game boots up. What we saw in the opening could be more like a morning routine that he has to do at least once a day. Plus, we've yet to see any other NPC talk to the audience like Jax has. He explicitly called out the viewers in episode three, knowing full well he's being watched by SOMEONE. Or, at the very least, acting like he is. What do I mean by that? Well, to explain, I'd like to use one of my favorite fourth wall breakers as an example:

Deadpool, in most adaptations, knows fully well that he's a fictional character. He'll talk to the readers/viewers, move the camera around, and constantly talk shit to the writers/studio for occasionally screwing him over. It's all in good (Sometimes bloody) fun...but there's a canonical reason for this. It's not like She-Hulk where the fourth wall breaks are a way to tell HER stories HER way. You see, Deadpool...is just fucking insane.

No, really, that's the reason. Due to the trauma of gaining his powers, Deadpool's mind breaks and he's led to believe that he MUST be a fictional character. In comics, he actually gets voices in his head that makes him think he must be some comic book superhero, and the movies implied that something similar happened given how he never broke the fourth wall ONCE before getting his powers. This means him breaking the fourth wall could be seen as a coping mechanism. After all, it's better to believe you're a fictional character designed to entertain some invisible audience than believe that all of the shitty things that happened to you and people close to you is just a cruel joke from the universe.

Sound familiar?

Going back to the pilot, remember how Pomni's first instinct was to say that the Circus was all just a dream? To her, it's better to live in a lie that everything around her isn't real than to accept the reality that she's stuck in digital purgatory. Jax very well could be going through something similar, but unlike Pomni who seemed to just accept her reality, Jax never did. The trauma of being stuck in the Circus had led to his mind breaking just like Pomni's, Kinger's, and anyone else's. It's just that, for him, he thinks he's coping with it better because he discovered the secret that no one else did: None of this is real.

They're not actually people trapped in some hellscape while an AI unintentionally tortures them. They're all just fictional characters whose tragedies and silly antics are used to entertain viewers. I mean, it's either that or they're real people forever trapped in the circus with the closest thing to death being a full, psychotic break as they give up their sanity because they no longer want to exist in this hell anymore...But that possibly can't be true. Because if that IS true, then Jax has to face that he's a real person stuck in a real, awful situation that he can't joke his way out of. So, it's best to think nothing is real and nothing they do matter. So, might as well have fun with it.

Going back to the pin...

I don't think this is damning evidence about Jax being an NPC. Actually, it perfectly captures who he is as a character. He knows the circus isn't real. He even thinks HE isn't real. So instead of grappling with that, Jax lets himself believe that if nothing is real than nothing he does matters. He can break things, ruin lives, and assist in torturing the others in the circus. It's what he thinks will make the show more entertaining, even though all he's really entertaining is himself so his mind doesn't break more than it does.

Now, could the same apply if he's an NPC? Well...maybe. Gumigoo definitely proves how far someone could fall when they're told their world is fake. He was about ready to give up on life because he didn't think he had one. If Jax was an NPC, I could see him having a similar break, but going in the far opposite direction where, instead of giving up on life, he chooses to live the way HE wants it. Instead of being some one-off NPC for a lame adventure, he could go off on adventures of his own and ruin the lives of others now that his is thoroughly ruined.

However, Gooseworx makes a good point: "...a lot of people come up with theories based on how unexpected they'd be, and not because they make sense or align with the show's themes."

If Jax is an NPC, it would harm the overall message of the show. That there's meaning to be found in a stagnant life, and you find that meaning with people close to you who make that life worth living. Jax represents a sort of foil to that idea, with his way of coping with the madness being pure chaos and breaking others. It's his coping mechanism, and it works because it shows how human Jax really is. They're ALL human and they have human desires and wants, with the Circus pretty much stripping that away and leaving them...as they are now. They're emotionally broken, their sanity is decreasing, and some of them are losing all sense of self. By making Jax an NPC, it would definitely be surprising, but it would take away from that idea. It no longer makes him a human facing his own tragedy but instead an AI that's just as broken as Gummigoo. More than that, it gives the others an easy out. All the crew has to do is tell Caine that Jax is an NPC and POOF! No more annoyance. So making him someone who HAS to stay with the others and they're forever forced to deal with him also adds more to THEIR tragedy and torture.

Jax being an NPC is an interesting theory, but I don't think it's one that SHOULD be true. To me, it's more fascinating watching Jax treat the world around him as meaningless knowing he's a human instead of a rogue NPC breaking everything. And Gooseworx made it clear how they feel about it. Now, could it potentially be a mislead to get fans off the trail? Genuinely...I don't think so. That sounded very "I don't like this idea so it's not gonna happen" type of response. Still, we won't know until the show wraps up. Anything can happen, but don't get your hopes up if a character who does bad things to people that don't deserve it is more human than you think.

[meanbossart]

So, I was thinking after the newest Bhaalist DU Drow art (and his hand dangerously close to Astarions throat): what would happen if Astarion runs away? Did he ever try?

And, what's also pretty sad, how does affection look like for them in this AU? Does Astarion just push through and dissociate? Can he ever say no? Or does he hope the love of his life (or unlife) changes at some point?

Thankies 💕

CW: Non-explicit description of a coercive sexual relationship.

You know, I'm not sure he would try to run away. I haven't thought about this AU in quite as much depth as I have their canonical story, but I do know that DU drow has turned Baldur's Gate and the area around it into quite the scary place. The "immediate and absolute control over the brain" outcome that we get in the game is a bit too easy for me, but he DOES retain the stones and therefore ownership over it, not to mention a huge bargaining chip in political control of the vicinity.

The church of Bhaal is reinstated, and while it will never be in the interest of Bhaalists to be blatant about their activities, it would become common knowledge that they have eyes everywhere. Killing is still ritualistic rather than mindless massacre, and indoctrination is prioritized - they can't expand and fulfill Bhaal's will if all potential followers are dead. People who don't yet follow the gospel have reason to cooperate with them since that lessens their chances of being killed.

So, if the darling of the cult's head were to suddenly disappear, everyone infected would be immediately zapped with the knowledge of exactly what he looks like and where he was last seen, and what the repercussions are for anyone who fails to report his whereabouts. Astarion knows this, DU drow would make sure that he does.

Also, it would probably be far too easy for Astarion to justify his own compliance and try to make peace with the situation. This IS the man he fell in love with, he DID encourage his pursuit for power at every step, he may not be the grand vampire ascendant, but he is the Murder Prince's beloved. He doesn't beat him, he doesn't torture him, he spoils Astarion with riches, comfort, and all the fresh blood he could dream of; all he asks for in return is his eternal devotion, constant affection, adoration, control over where he is, wears, does, and total surveillance.

When the alternative is braving the cold, ruthless world as a meager little vampire spawn while being hunted down by your ex's minions (hm, sounds familiar) being the equivalent to your partner's boutique pet starts to look pretty desirable. Astarion falling to old habits and resigning to his circumstance seems pretty likely to me. If he did run away successfully, life would be a whole lot harder for him. If he runs away unsuccessfully, he loses the trust of his murderous, power-hungry partner and the few liberties he is afforded at all.

Speaking of liberties, saying no to intimacy is one he still has, however the consequences for being frigid and nonreciprocating would come in other forms, over time, and Astarion would probably rather spare himself the trouble and just play along as the highly affectionate and fiery lover that this DU Drow wants him to be. The happier he is, the easier things are.

Not to mention that, occasionally, he can pretend that everything is back to how it used to be when they are being intimate.

I think there are vulnerable moments where he hopes he will snap out of it, but most of the time Astarion is convincing himself that he hit the jackpot, that he has DU drow wrapped around his finger and he will be able to turn this more in his favor eventually.

[thezombieprostitute]

The Arrangement - Part 12

Summary: Jake's done a lot of things to keep his sister, and then his niece, safe from his parent's influence and manipulation. If he wants to keep them safe, he has to marry you.

Warnings: Anxiety, Bad parents and siblings, Talking about abuse. Let me know if I missed any!

Part 11 - Part 13

Series Masterlist

It had been just over a week since your wedding. You and Jake have improved your communication. He's also managed to really set himself up in the home theater where he'd spent that first night. Apparently one thing your parents got right was the massive pair of recliners specifically for that room. Jake swears they're more comfortable than most of the beds he's slept on over the years. It makes you feel better about taking the master bedroom for yourself. Clay had visited again bringing a few duffel bags of Jake's things, including his computer. The massive screen for the theater worked really well for his setup.

While you were cooking, Clay had made sure to update Jake on the status of his family. Things were working pretty well, but there were going to be a lot of paper trails to hide so that they couldn't be followed. Or at least, not followed easily. Aisha and Cougar had both caught a couple of people following his family around that were confirmed to be employed by his parents. Hopefully now that Jake had his computer he could get some better intel on the parents' finances and connections.

But you weren't privy to that update. Jake and Clay agreed it was safer to keep you in the dark about the details. Though Jake didn't doubt your sincerity, there were still too many unknowns about you.

You really didn't mind that they got quiet whenever you were near. Your mind was already at maximum anxiety with Travis, your brother, still being in the Intensive Care Unit. Your parents had been acting unusually as the week progressed and Travis didn't get better. According to the police report he'd been seen drinking heavily with friends before trying to drive home. Usually one of his friends would be the designated driver and keep everyone's keys but, somehow, Travis had gotten his keys.

And now your parents seemed to be readjusting their life plans, and yours as well. The one time you were allowed to visit the hospital you'd overheard your parents murmuring about "he can't be seen like this," "he'll be seen as weak," and other similar thoughts. It made you worried you and Jake would be even more under their scrutiny, set to even higher standards. Your breath hitched as you realized they may demand a grandchild to help change the public perception of the family to one of hope or something like that.

You and Jake were getting ready for your first public event as a couple. You're helping Jake pick out the right suit while doing your best to answer his questions about what to expect, what is appropriate conversation, how much both of you needed to talk to others before you could leave. You know you're missing things. Jake does, too. But neither of you can think of the questions to ask so you establish a silent signal for help. Jake squeezes your hand three times and you either step in or whisper some advice in his ear. It's not a great system, but it's all you can do for now.

Jake hates how he looks in all of this but he knows it's not about him or his comfort. At least he doesn't have to wear the torture device you call a dress. The thing looks impossibly tight on you. He's worried about your ability to breathe. And the stiletto heels have you warning him you'll be on his arm all night to help you keep your balance. Jake actually takes comfort in that because he really doesn't want to be left alone at this event. Probably any event, but this first one especially.

As the car pulls up Jake takes a deep breath and you attempt the same.

"We can do this, right?" He says quietly.

"I believe we can," you nod. You gently squeeze his hand in reassurance like you did that first morning with the parents.

He nods, "let's do this."

As soon as he's able Jake is out of the car and opening your door for you. The last time he did so you were scared of each other. Now you make sure to give him a small smile of thanks as he takes your hand. The elevator ride to the party is as quiet as the one you took together your wedding night, but less oppressively so. It isn't until the elevator doors open that you both put on your fake smiles. Both of you taking small comfort in the fact that neither of you is suffering alone.

After the first couple hours Jake is ready to punch someone, anyone, just so he can be forced to leave since he's not allowed out yet. He's incredibly grateful you insisted on eating a little something beforehand. The food here is barely edible and dissolves faster than cotton candy. He hates the wine? Champagne? Whatever the hell it is, he hates the taste of it but, in following your lead, he knows he has to at least sip often enough to warrant a replacement glass every 30 minutes or so. Jake was grateful to have your weight on his arm to help keep him grounded.

Especially when Charles Blackwood, a "friend" of his from high school, showed up. Charles had been nothing but a leech throughout all of high school but Jake was desperate for some kind of friendship.

"Jacob! Where have you been?" Charles holds out his hand and Jake grips it firmly.

"I've been okay, Charles. You?"

"Holy crap, you're married now? Is that why you finally came out of hiding?"

"Sort of," he admits.

He goes to introduce you but Charles stops him. "I know this lovely lady quite well," he admits. You avert your eyes. "We were engaged for some time."

"You were?"

"Didn't she tell you?" Charles smirks. "Would've been married for two years now if her parents hadn't stepped in."

"For once I'm glad they did," you interject. "You're a conman who shouldn't be here."

Charles gives a small laugh, "well look who finally grew up. Too bad you didn't pick up on what was going on before I got you into bed." Your cheeks burn with embarrassment. "How are those dolphin projects going?"

"Sharks," Jake snipes. "Her focus was on sharks."

"Ooo, nerd standing up for nerd. How cute."

"You need to leave us alone," Jake fumes. "She is my wife and I won't let you insult her."

Charles scoffs, "since when can you fight?"

"Since boot camp."

That gives Charles pause. He searches Jake's face for tells that he's lying but finds none.

"Yeah, alright," Charles concedes. "Just don't ruin this party for me. Lots of other potential targets."

As soon as he was out of hearing range you let out a breath. "I'm so sorry," your voice quavers. "I should have...I should have told you."

"Told me what? That your ex-fiance is an asshole? That's not something you need to divulge."

"No...that...that I'm not..."

Jake leans in so that you're the only one who hears him. "You're more than just your virginity status. I'm sorry your first time was with him, he doesn't seem the type to make your pleasure a priority, but I'm not upset that you've had sex before."

You take as deep a breath as you can to steady yourself. "Thank you for that."

"So, can we leave the party yet?"

You check Jake's watch, trying not to be obvious about it. "We've got at least another half hour."

"When we do get out of here, would you be up for going out for some real food?"

You chuckle, "maybe delivery? Or take out? I'm not going to be able to eat much in this dress."

"Fair. And thank you for helping me get through all of this."

"Thank you for listening to my advice," you counter.

"Always," Jake affirms.

Part 11 - Part 13

Series Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @ashdoctor; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @embarrasingmf;

@irishhappiness; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @lokislady82;

@ronearoundblindly; @thiquefunlover63

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

redemption : casual l Marcus Moreno

❤️‍ broken hearts seek redemption ❤️‍

Summary:  you misread his signals

Warnings:  one guy who has to find his courage; one mother who can't stand to look at him anymore; one girl who wanted to protect herself; fluff, Marcus has to get his act together

A/N: sorry for any mistakes. i'm really sorry. I was looking for some free time between other activities

your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

first part is here >>casual<<

a few ways to break a heart [masterlist]

broken hearts seek redemption [masterlist]

"Enough! This is pathetic!"

Marcus looked up from his plate of cold scrambled eggs and his eyes moved at his mother, Anita. The woman was staring at him with her hands on her hips, she looked almost the same as when he was a kid and did something wrong.

He cleared his throat. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"You! There's something wrong with you!" she replied in a raised voice. "I've been talking to you for fifteen minutes and you're unconscious."

"Sorry, Mom. I'm tired after yesterday's banquet." he mumbled, taking a sip of his now cold coffee.

"Oh, yes!" Anita shook her head. "I think you're more tired from staring at that poor girl all night."

Marcus' eyes widened and he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"I don't know what you're talking about." he stammered out confused.

"You looked at that girl like she was an abandoned puppy! Please, mijo! I've known you long enough to know you've fallen head over heels for her!"

He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, this banquet was torture for Marcus. For the past few weeks, every time he met you, in the hallway or in the cafeteria, it gave him heart palpitations. The worst thing was that he only talked to you about work, nothing else was out of the question.

And at this banquet you looked so beautiful that he couldn't help himself. He wanted to approach, say something, make some gestures... His mother must have noticed it.

"It's because of her that you've been like this lately, huh?" Anita asked, pushing out a chair and sitting down next to him "I can see that something's bothering you."

He nodded.

"Then why don't you go out with her? Ask her. Staring like that won't do you any good."

Marcus sighed "See, we've been on a date before..." his mother's face lit up in excitement "It was really nice. But... She told me a while ago that she wanted us to go back to just being work colleagues."

"W-What?"

"She said I wasn't ready to move on, and she couldn't just be my friend and..."

Anita's mouth fell open, and her son jumped as she slammed her hand on the table.

"You dork!" This time she slapped him on the shoulder "She's got a crush on you! Women don't say things like that without a reason!"

Now Marcus looked at her in surprise. "But she ignored my messages... She told me that, and now she doesn't even talk to me like she used to. Maybe she was right..."

Anita leaned back in her chair and rolled her eyes, mumbling something to herself. Then she made a quick sign of the cross with her hand and looked at her son, trying to stay calm.

"I saw how you looked at her, and she glanced your way too..." Marcus raised his head immediately "If you weren't ready you wouldn't be sitting here in such a pathetic state now. Please, mijo. Do something about it!" she grabbed his forearm and squeezed tightly "If this girl makes you happy, give it a chance. You've been devoting yourself to Missy and your work for so long, take care of yourself and your own happiness too."

"But what if she doesn't want me? What if you're wrong?" he asked, although deep down he was begging for what his mother was saying to be true.

"She'll tell you that. But you have to talk to her. You're fighting all these enemies, and you're afraid to talk to the girl you like? Please..."

The light in your window has been on for a while now. Marcus could see it clearly from where he was standing. His mother's words comforted him. He bought a bouquet of peonies, exchanged his ironed shirt for something more comfortable, and stood in front of your house for almost an hour.

Marcus Moreno could fight a hundred villains, but when he was about to stand in front of you he felt completely defenseless. 

A few deep breaths, he barely lifted his foot from the pavement and was about to take the first step when the phone in his pocket rang. He instinctively glanced at the screen, it was you.

"Hello?" he tried to sound natural, as if his heart hadn't sped up at all.

"Marcus?" he heard a slight worry in your voice, "Is that you standing in front of my house?"

He raised his gaze to your window and saw the outline of a familiar figure. Heat crept up to his neck.

He cleared his throat. "Yeah, it's me."

"Uhm. And why are you doing this?"

Marcus sighed deeply and was still staring at your window, although he couldn't see your face, he asked. "Can I come upstairs?"

The silence on the other side seemed unimaginably long, but when he heard a quiet "Yes." he felt as if he regained his breath.

It was a strange feeling, seeing Marcus in your doorway. He was clutching a bouquet of peonies in his hands, and his brown eyes were staring at you almost pleadingly. 

You didn't even have time to change, still in your comfortable clothes, without make-up, you greeted him at the door.

"Hi." he said quietly.

"Hi, Marcus." you replied, leaning against the door frame. "What brings you here?"

He wanted to say "you." He wanted to say everything that was swirling in his head and chest, but he didn't know where to start. Finally, after a long fight with himself, he stammered quietly.

"Can we talk?"

He deserved it. You didn't want to hurt him, you didn't want to stick a pin in his heart when he looked at you like that, because you felt that he didn't show up without a reason.

Some time had passed since that memorable conversation, and if you felt anger at first, it had already passed. You were tired and... you really missed Marcus. 

Even without taking into account what had happened between you, he was a good friend. You remembered how many times he helped you with the vending machine, how he stood up for you when Miracle Guy teased you, or when he helped you change the tire in your car when it was raining. 

On the other hand, you loved it when he talked about Missy, you helped him with paperwork and you remembered the way he liked his coffee.

Maybe dating didn't work out, but your friendship with Marcus was important to you. But were you able to bury your feelings deep inside?

You opened the door wider and gestured for him to come in.

"This is for you." He said, handing you the bouquet and smiling uncertainly.

"Thank you." You immediately smelled the pleasant scent of flowers and smiled involuntarily. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No, I don't want to bother you." He scratched the back of his neck. "I just wanted..."

You turned around and went into the kitchen to pull out a vase. "I'm still listening to you, Marcus." You said, glancing at him over your shoulder as you poured the water.

"I feel bad about what's going on between us." he began, and a strange shiver ran down your spine. "I mean... I miss you, a lot. I keep thinking about what you told me. If I did something wrong, if I hurt you with something, tell me, please. I want to fix it. I can fix it!"

"Marcus..." you sighed, placing the bouquet on the counter and turning to him. “I miss you too." his eyes sparkled with hope. "I'm not sure though..." you rubbed your temple with your hand.

If this conversation was going to be honest and true, you had to tell him everything. You couldn't move on feeling like you had unresolved issues behind you.

"I heard you talking to Miracle Guy." you said quietly, your gaze fixed on the flowers, because it was easier for you that way. "It was Friday, before all of this... I brought food, I knew you'd be at work longer. You were both talking, and I accidentally overheard it."

Marcus already knew what you were getting at. Miracle Guy implied that you and Marcus were dating, and he just wanted to cut the conversation short. He felt bad about it all, like he had disowned you.

"I don't know why I said that." Marcus replied. "We were so new to all this and I was afraid that maybe I was promising myself too much. Miracle Guy would have spread the word all over the place. I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable. Besides, if you didn't want to see me anymore, no one would have found out about us, right?"

You looked at him in surprise.

"Do you think I could be... ashamed of you? Marcus!" you choked out. "I thought I misinterpreted your signals and..."

"I'm sorry!" Marcus interrupted you abruptly and approached you, taking your hands in his. "I haven't done this in a long time. You're the first woman I've dated in years. I panicked. Because I really like you and... not only that. You're smart and funny, I feel really important around you. You really see me. Not the leader of the Heroics, not a single father, but me. I was afraid that if someone found out about us, this bubble would burst."

Something was tightening in your throat, and your eyes were burning strangely. You didn't expect this.

“Maybe I really misjudged this whole thing,” you replied quietly.

"I'm not surprised you drew such conclusions. I would have thought the same." he sighed. "Maybe if I had more courage..."

"Maybe if I had asked you right away..." you added. "I felt hurt, Marcus. I pushed you away because it seemed the safest. I didn't want to hurt myself any further..."

He nodded. His warm hands let go of yours and he took a few steps back.

"If I could, I would take it all back." he mumbled. "I really liked spending time with you."

"I liked it too."

A small smile crept onto Marcus' lips, as if a fond memory filled his head. But then he remembered his mother and everything they had talked about that morning.

"Give me one more chance." he blurted out and you lifted your head, surprised by his tone. "One chance. Now I'll do it right, like you deserve. I'm ready to move on, but I want to do it with you, please."

"Do you want to..."

“Go on a date with me,” he interrupted you again. “We’ll go to dinner, to a movie, to an amusement park, whatever. But I want to do it with you. Because I care, I really care about you.”

You bit your lip. A strange excitement emanated from Marcus and he slowly infected you with it. Maybe he was right? Maybe it was worth trying again? You weren't risking anything.

You finally nodded. "Okay." Marcus beamed and you smiled back. "I think it's worth a try."

"Maybe..."

The unexpected doorbell made you both jump. You quickly left the kitchen and opened the door for the young pizza delivery guy. After a few seconds, you were alone again.

"I was going to spend tonight with pizza and a movie." You said, smiling shyly at Marcus. "If you didn't have any other plans, maybe you'd like to join?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, really serious." You put the box on the coffee table. "I have wine too, if you want. But if you have to go back..."

He shook his head. "No, Mom stayed with Missy so I could come over." you chuckled. "If you want me to stay..."

"Of course I do." 

Marcus felt like his heart would explode with joy. It wasn't what he expected, but he was grateful that he took the step and showed up at your place. The chance to spend the evening with you, pizza and a movie, was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time.

"But you're still going on a date with me." he said as you settled down next to him with a glass of wine in your hand. "That doesn't count."

"Of course. But what if someone sees us again?"

"Then we'll give them something to gossip about."

You smiled. This guy was worth another chance.

☆☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

[dreaming-medium]

Animals Without Direction

Chapter Forty-One: Rescue Mission

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Masterlist

Allerick didn’t come back to the cell.

The worst part was neither did Seungmin. Both you and Hyunjin stayed curled in each other’s arms for what felt like hours. Neither one of you wanted to move from your position against the cell wall.

When you had woken up, Hyunjin was fast asleep behind you, his head resting on your shoulder. Every shallow exhale he let out fanned over your shoulder gently. 

You turn your head slightly, your nose nuzzling into his temple. His eyebrows twitch but he stays asleep.

All of your injuries from the dagger have closed thanks to the mage surrounding you. His magic is weak right now, but it still managed to close the wounds to a bearable point. The bloodstains on your tunic have now dried.

The only thing that’s left from earlier is a constant dull throb, making the injuries feel as though they’re two days old instead of a few hours. 

Your body feels achy and weak, more so than it has these past few days. Mortal’s Touch still must be flowing through your bloodstream and making you frail. Every single one of your joints ache. There are pains in places you didn’t think were possible to hurt.

And who knows when it will end?

You’ve been in this cell for weeks– months now. 

And all you’ve had to do while you’ve been in here is think. Well, between all the torture, that is. 

Memories were your only escape from the harsh reality that you found yourself in. Little flashes of running through the forest of Erbus while your mother calls you in for dinner soothed you. 

If you thought hard enough, sometimes you thought you could picture her face again. When you really allowed yourself to focus, you could recall the curve of her nose, shaped just like yours, the small bridge of freckles that would appear in the summertime, the prominent shape of her cupid’s bow.

Once a month, your mother would crush up rose and lavender petals and make them into an oil that she would apply to her skin. The only times you were ever close enough to smell it were when she would hold you close.

Like that time you were six years old and fell from the tree you were climbing. You had slipped on the branches and came tumbling down to the dirt. The only injury you ended up sustaining was a small scrape to your elbow.

But you cried so hard, you may as well have broken your arm. After bandaging you up, you were still letting out little sniffles and cries. 

Your mother wrapped her arms around you and held you close to her chest. 

A mother’s hug heals everything, doesn’t it?

There’s a different type of warmth that comes from the arms that carried you since the day you were born. No matter what the circumstances were, it didn’t matter what was wrong or what hurt, mind, body, or soul, if your mother wrapped her arms around you, you were better.

You would breathe in her rose and lavender scent and the tears would stop. She would coo into your hair and kiss your forehead before sending you on your way once more.

In no time at all, you would be back to climbing trees and jumping over fallen logs in the woods.

What you wouldn’t give for one of your mother’s hugs right now.

Even though you were so young when she was taken from you, it doesn’t take away the fact that she’s the first person you crave when you’re scared or when you’re hurting. Calling out for your mother is an instinct so ingrained in everyone it should be studied.

That day on the battlefield, when all of the soldiers were closing in around you on top of that wall, you called out for your mother.

And if you had the strength, you would do so right now. 

You want your mother. You want to hear her voice, you want her to hold you close and listen to her heart beat.

A hollow, empty feeling sits so heavily in your chest. It’s a different pain than the type you’ve been on the receiving end for the last few weeks. It’s not even a pain that was inflicted while you’ve been in this cell.

Nonetheless, Erbus caused it. These monsters are the ones that took your mother and father away. They’re the ones that took away the one pair of arms you need to be held in the most. 

Erbus has been torturing you long before you were thrown within this cell. Long before this war was declared, long before you were made into a court member of Miroh, long before you even became a mercenary. They have been twisting the knife in your heart since you were only nine.

Hyunjin’s arms twitch around your body, shaking you from your runaway thoughts.

Your head turns a bit and you look at him as his eyes twitch and blink open slowly.

“Does it hurt?” he asks immediately. His voice is rough and slurred as he drags himself from sleep.

“Nay,” you whisper back. “Only the usual pains.”

“Then why do you cry?” 

You freeze.

Slowly, your hand reaches up and you touch your cheek. Sure enough, there are tears coming down your cheeks.

“I…” you start but your voice trails off.

“Troubled mind?” Hyunjin murmurs. He lifts his chin from your shoulder and sits back against the wall once more.

Your eyes stare forward, focusing on just one of the four hundred and thirteen stones in the floor. 

“Aye,” you respond. “I guess you could say that.”

Hyunjin waits for a moment. His hands move from wrapped around your body to trail up the sides of your arms, tracing small circles and patterns on the bruised and battered skin.

“Coin for your thoughts.” 

A weak smile pulls at your lips at the little joke. Maybe if you had more energy, you would’ve laughed. 

“I am just thinking about my mother,” you say simply. Behind you, Hyunjin lets out an exhale.

“Taken by Erbus?”

“Aye.”

You had already told Jisung the story that one night in front of the campfire. The night that he crawled inside your bedroll and held you while you both cried together.

“Tell me about her.”

It’s such a simple request, but it squeezes at your heart nonetheless. Countless fragments of memories go through your mind, once more, you think you can smell her scented oil.

“She was tall.” It’s the first thing that comes to your mind. “Tall for a human woman, at least. One time I heard my father say it was one of the reasons he fell for her, she had the height of an elf, but the sharp tongue of a human.”

Hyunjin lets out a weak laugh behind you. “Much like you then.”

You hum in agreement. “Aye. I definitely take after her in many ways. But she always told me I looked more like my father.” There’s a beat. “They both loved me so much, Hyunjin. I cannot even begin to even create a complaint about my parents. They loved me more than the moon loves the night sky.

“Our cottage was this tiny house with one room. There were no bedrooms or a kitchen or library. It had four walls that held two beds, a small cooking spit, a table with three chairs, a wardrobe, and a bookshelf. But I never wanted it to be any different.”

His fingers continue to trace up and down your arms as you stare off into space, reminiscing about that little cabin in the woods.

“Every night, they would tuck me into bed and both of them would kiss my cheeks, my father first, then my mother. And they would tell me how much they loved me. I cannot lie, I had a very fortunate childhood.”

Countless people you have crossed paths with have had the opposite experience as your own. Every time someone would tell you about a negative relationship with their parents, your heart would ache for them.

The smile on your face turns wistful. “One morning, my mother woke me up early, before the sun had even risen or poked over the horizon. I can only remember she held up a finger to her lips, smiling and telling me that we had to be quiet, that we were going to surprise my father since it was his birthday.

“We went down to the town and we were there just in time as the bakery opened. The two of us were the first in line and we bought him the most beautifully frosted cake that I had ever seen, it had to be bigger than my face.”

Both you and your mother also bought a sweet bread that the two of you shared on your way back to the cabin. The two of you giggled and passed the bread back and forth, making sure it was finished before you got home.

Your mother had said it was a secret that only the two of you could know about, and your younger self took that to heart.

“When we got back to the cabin, my father was still asleep. He snored like a bear and we could hear him before we even got inside. We woke him up holding the cake and yelling birthday wishes at the top of our lungs. He sat up and hugged us both with the biggest smile on his face. By the Six, I can still see the crows' feet crinkling next to his eyes.”

The happy memory sits inside your chest, warming up your damaged and worn soul. It flickers inside you like a dying campfire.

Thinking about your parents always kindles the flames within your soul, even now, when you’re at the lowest you’ve ever been. Just remembering the happiness they raised you with alights something inside you.

Hyunjin remains quiet behind you, listening to you talk. Not once do his little caresses cease on your skin. 

“We started the day with cake and then spent the remainder of his birthday down at the lake, playing in the water and laughing as a family.  Even as the sun went down behind the clouds, we were smiling and laughing. It was… it was perfect. Every single day was perfect.”

Suddenly, your throat feels too tight. 

As if sensing the shift in your demeanor, Hyunjins hands gently wind around your stomach once more, being very careful of the wounds throbbing across your stomach. With what remaining strength he has left, he squeezes and holds you close.

“I often think about what my life would have been like if they were not taken from me,” your voice utters. The tears have not stopped flowing down your cheeks. It’s a wonder your eyes aren’t too dry to even shed them.

“Thinking about what could have been can poison your mind,” Hyunjin murmurs. His own tone sounds strained.

“Perhaps,” you reply. “But at the same time, it relaxes me. I allow myself to conjure up a vision of this second life… One where my parents raised me and we were permitted to live together as a family…”

He hesitates for a beat. “What do you imagine?”

A soft hum comes from your chest. “I like to imagine that I grew up to be an alchemist.”

When he laughs, it comes out gently, like a puff of air. “Truly?”

“Aye,” you answer with your own weak laugh. Your head tilts to the side. “I would have studied hard and learned the craft and opened a shop in the town… I would have created tonics that would cure ailments, supply aid, perhaps even extend lives or do wondrous things like breathe underwater.”

Your body begins to relax further into him as you tell him your little fantasy.

“I would live in the room above my shop and it would only be a short walk to the cottage where I would visit my parents at least once a week for dinner. Maybe, I would bring them a new tonic or two for them to try for me…

“Eventually, some dashing young man would walk into my shop one day, looking for a healing potion and I would notice that he seemed injured so I would take him into the back where I keep all my ingredients and supplies and make him sit still while I heal him up. After a moment, I would look into his eyes… he would look into mine… and I would fall in love.”

His arms tighten around you. “Sounds like folly to me,” Hyunjin grumbles into your shoulder.

“You sound jealous.”

“I am not.”

“You are jealous of a man who does not exist.”

“Nay. I am not.”

“He does not exist, nor does my shop, nor do my alchemy skills.”

Hyunjin scoffs and shifts behind you. The wistful smile stays on your face and your hands reach up and rest on top of his.

“Rest assured, nothing about this fantasy life is real, no matter how deeply I wish it to be.”

There’s a long moment of silence in the cell. Condensation drips from the ceiling into a standing puddle and you can hear Erban soldiers communicating through the walls. The fires lit in the sconces flicker and lick up the sides.

Behind you, Hyunjin’s chest rises and falls in a shallow, uneasy rhythm. 

Taking a deep, painful breath, you turn slightly in his arms to look at the side of his face. As soon as you move, he looks right back at you. The bags under his eyes look like deep bruises.

“Though, I am certain that the life I live now is a fantasy to some others,” you murmur, staring deeply into his now dull eyes. “Perhaps the alchemist escapes their mundane life by imagining she is the mercenary for the Jarl’s court; maybe she imagines that her other court members invade her life and make themselves the most important people in her life.”

Hyunjin stares back at you. 

“Perhaps she imagines grand battles and wars, maybe she dreams of learning how to wield a sword so she can protect the ones she loves, even at her own peril.”

And for a moment, even if it is brief and fleeting, you see a tiny spark in those gorgeous eyes. It leaves as soon as it comes, but you know it was there.

“Does the mercenary also have a happy ending in the alchemist’s fantasy?” Hyunjin whispers.

You hum, rolling your eyes a bit. “Now we are imagining a fantasy’s fantasy? Should we go one step further and imagine that mercenary pictures being an alchemist?”

It’s his turn to roll his eyes and look off to the side. “Now you are just being boring.”

“We do not even know if this mercenary will have a happy ending.”

“She will,” Hyunjin replies immediately. His voice is stronger than it has been in weeks. The strength is only there for that one moment, same as the spark in his eyes. He looks back at you. “She will.”

You open your mouth to respond, but before you can, a world shattering boom rattles the entire fort. Both you and Hyunjin practically jump out of your skin at the noise. The very stones of the walls shake from what sounds like an unbelievable impact.

Soldiers begin screaming outside the door of the jail.

Hyunjin’s arms tighten around you in a protective manner, his entire body tensing up.

Inside your chest, you feel your heart kickstart. Is this Miroh? Is Miroh attacking? Is it finally happening?

There’s only about thirty seconds of silence before two more explosions hit the fort, these ones sounding and feeling like they’re at different points in the fort.

Your eyes flitter around wildly, trying to get your bearings. Every single one of your muscles begins to scream when you try to move.

All of the instincts within you are telling you to move; but even if you managed to crawl across the floor to the cell door, you’re still locked in here.

Another explosion hits the fort and dust falls from the ceiling over you and Hyunjin. 

The screaming gets louder and louder.

“Do you think–”

You’re cut off by the sound of the door to the prison bursting open and slamming into the stone wall. At the same time of the collision, a booming, feral, animalistically angry voice screams down the hall.

“You ruin everything, you rotten fucking monster!” Allericks’ voice is so loud it echos in your ears and rattles your very bones. “There will be no rescue mission for Miroh!”

His boots are thundering down the hall.

As Hyunjin holds you close, small noises of fear claw their way up your throat and you shrink back into him inch by inch. Allerick’s voice has such an instant effect on your brain. At the very sound of him, you can feel every single one of your wounds throbbing.

Now that the door to the prison is open, the yelling and screaming is louder. All of the soldiers are bellowing orders to one another, manning different stations and trying to muster enough strength to defend themselves.

“You disgusting, hideous, vile creatures! You and all of the blackened beings of Miroh!”

As soon as Allerick’s body is in front of the cell, he’s thrusting the key into the lock and wrenching open the door. It swings and hits into the bars with a clang that goes right through you. He sneers when he sees you and Hyunjin huddled in with one another. 

“Oh, how wonderful that you were able to feel one final tender touch before I rip you limb from limb!” he growls, striding towards you at such a frightening pace, you would think he was running.

Hyunjin tries to turn your bodies to shield you but Allerick is much faster and stronger than both of you combined at the moment. He reaches down and grabs you by the hair, prying you out of Hyunjin’s arms and launching you across the cell with a roar.

The stone scrapes up your arms and legs as you collide with the floor.

“Y/N!” Hyunjin yells.

“Even when I have you down in my prison, chained, tethered, tortured, and two steps from The Void, you still find ways to stab me in the back and make my life difficult!”

He stalks closer to you.

Weakly, you push yourself off the floor, both of your arms shaking. Your elbows almost immediately buckle under your body weight and you whimper quietly as you make contact with the floor.

“I should have known better than to think you could be of any use to me!” Allerick grabs a fistful of your hair just to use his other hand and delivers a punch directly to your cheek. The pain bursts behind your eyes immediately. 

He pulls back and punches you once more, this time releasing your hair as the punch lands, just so your head can crack down onto the stone floor.

“Stop!” Hyunjin screams. 

“You will get your turn, dagger ear! Shut your fucking mouth!” Allerick screams at him and then turns his attention back to you.

Explosion after explosion hits the outside of the fort. All of the dust and debris rains down from the ceiling. The very ground shakes underneath you.

Groaning in pain, you’re about to turn over onto your back when a swift kick is ushered right to your side. Instead, your body ragdolls with the momentum of the kick and you grunt and cough at the same time. Little droplets of blood spurt from your mouth. 

“You good for nothing rat!” Allerick screams. “I should have killed you on day one. I should have had the guards tear your limbs off and fed them to you while you cried and begged for death!”

Another kick to your ribs and you’re sure you hear one snap. The sharp pain shoots right through you, the pain chokes any noise you could make and all you’re able to produce is a wheeze. 

A hand grabs your shoulder and rolls you onto your back. His body comes down over yours, straddling your hips and grabbing the front of your tunic.

There’s no strength left in your body. You’re so completely broken and useless. All you can do is open your eyes and look up at him from. 

He looks nothing like the man you know. The man above you right now is a wild animal; his teeth are bared and veins are popping in his forehead. You wouldn’t be surprised if foam started coming from his gums and dripping down his chin. 

It feels like you’re looking into the eyes of the Void. Cold, harrowing fear trickles down your spine. You want to scream, you want to cry, but you’re completely frozen.

You’ve seen more compassion when staring into the eyes of a wolf.

Never before have you seen a human being gaze upon another with a look like this.

“I should have killed you yesterday. I should have drenched that dagger in Void Toxin. I should have watched it take a hold of your very soul. Oh, little mouse, how I crave to watch the life leave your eyes.”

His hand moves from gripping your tunic to wrapping around your throat completely, his fingers dig into your neck, cutting off your oxygen immediately. 

Your mouth opens and closes, gaping like a fish out of water. One of your hands moves up to claw at Allerick’s, your nails digging into his skin to no avail.

“When those pests come down here, there will be nothing left of you, nothing but a bloody, useless corpse. You will just be another tally added to the toll while we cleanse this world of your filthy kind.”

All of your limbs grow cold, your muscles begin to spasm from the lack of oxygen. 

The veins in your neck feel as though they’re about to explode from the pressure. Your eyes feel like they’re about to bulge out of your head. 

A sick smile spreads across Allerick’s face as he watches you struggle, it stretches from ear to ear, showing off his once perfect, now yellowing, teeth. The bags under his eyes make them look psychotic.

He is not the man that raised you.

He’s an animal.

Hyunjin screams behind you, but it sounds so far away. You can’t hear the explosions anymore, you can only feel the ground beneath you vibrating with each impact. 

Is this really how it ends for you? Minutes from salvation?

Huh.

Tears well up in your bloodshot eyes, the edges of your vision fading. 

Will it be Uddos or Ytris you see when your eyes open once more? Who will be welcoming you to their part of the afterlife?

The Void cannot be any worse than this damned cell.

Slowly, your eyes begin to close. So, this is it. This is it for you.

Death might not be so bad.

Perhaps you’ll finally be able to see your mother and father again. There’s no way their souls are not in Utrium. They were both too kind and too full of love to end up anywhere near The Void.

Maybe you’ll finally get to smell that rose and lavender oil as your mother holds you in her arms. You can practically smell it now. It wraps around your nose and sends a wave of peace through your body. 

That warmth– that sweet, sweet warmth of your mother’s embrace calls to you. The cozy, soft comfort of your head against her chest feels as though it’s right in your grasp.

Will there be sweet breads in Utrium? Oh, they’ll be the best you ever tasted, you’re sure of it. 

A calm smile pulls at your blue lips. 

Every single day will be just like your father’s birthday. You’ll be able to eat cake for breakfast and spend every single afternoon down by the lake, splashing water and swimming until the sun goes down–

“Not yet,” a familiar maternal voice coos in your head. “Not yet, my love.”

Another voice roars clear as day, shattering your peace and bringing you back to the harsh reality you’re currently in. 

There’s a flurry of movement above you as a figure crashes into Allerick and tackles him to the ground and off of your body. You’re only able to make out the silver sheen of armor as the figure passes over you. 

Desperately, you take in a gasp of air. Coughs wrack through your aching body as you try to breathe in any oxygen possible. Each breath is choppy and painful, but you suck them in nonetheless.

Your head drops to the side and you barely make out what you see in front of you. Your savior, completely crouched over Allerick, as he delivers punch after punch to his face. Allerick desperately tries to fight back but each hit is too powerful.

It’s taking too long for your vision to fully unblur. 

Who is that? 

That armor… you’ve seen that armor before… but only once.

The fires from the sconces glint off the polished steel brilliantly. Every single inch of the armor has been crafted exquisitely. Not a single piece is fitted incorrectly. 

Miroh’s standard hangs off his sword belt on his hips.

The leather straps wound around the pieces are oiled and expensive. The now bloody gauntlets hug his forearms and display Miroh’s crest proudly.

It’s nothing short of regal.

It truly is a set of armor suited for a Jarl.

Your heart clenches in your chest and more tears spring from your eyes when you realize what you’re seeing. 

Bang Chan, the Jarl of Miroh, is here to save you.

There’s some more screaming and boots running down the hall. Your eyes flick up to Hyunjin, who looks like he collapsed while crawling in your direction on his hands and knees. Tears are coming down his face as he sobs in what looks like unbridled relief. 

He looks over and meets your eyes, and that relief becomes even brighter when he sees you’re alive. 

“Y/N!” he cries your name. “Y/N!”

Over and over again, he sobs your name like it’s the only thing he knows. It’s the only word that tumbles from his cracked and dehydrated lips. 

Figures sprint into the jail cell, one of them immediately runs to Hyunjin’s side.

“Here! In here! They are in here! In here!” 

“Down here!”

Emotions hit you so heavily as familiar voices hit your ears. Voices that you’ve come to love and cherish. Voices that you would remember when it was so dark and bleak that you needed to try and gather some joy in your soul.

A warm hand grabs at your shoulder, rolling you onto your back. Out of pure instinct, you scream in panic and fear. Your voice comes out in a mere hissed noise, your vocal cords damaged from Allerick’s grip. 

The hand recoils quickly, but comes right back to cup your cheek and gently guide your eyes to meet theirs.

More and more tears blur your vision, but you would recognize Lee Minho’s face anywhere. 

His eyes are wide in horror as he takes in your near death appearance. “By The Six,” he says in a ghastly tone.

All you have energy to do is blink and breathe. 

“Are they alive?!” Jeongin’s voice screams down the hall. “Minho, are they alive?!”

Minho can’t tear his eyes off your face, staring down at you in horror. “Aye! Alive! They li– They live!” he answers thickly. Every muscle in his face twitches and pulls into a different emotion every second.

You’re watching as he rides a carousel of human emotions: anger, disgust, horror, fear, sadness, it all crosses his face as he looks down at you. His hand begins to tremble against your cheek. 

“Y/N,” he murmurs hoarsely, his eyebrows pinch together as if he’s the one in pain. “Oh, oh, you poor thing.” He sounds near tears himself.

Maybe it’s because his face is the first one you’re seeing during your rescue, but you swear you’ve never seen anything so beautiful in your life. One of the Six’s angels surely has come down to save you. 

“Chan!” Jeongin screams once he’s in the cell. “Chan! Enough! Enough!”

Behind Minho, you watch him run over in Chan’s direction, most likely to yank him off of Allerick’s body. What state he’s in now, you don’t know. But you can’t find it within your heart to care if he is alive or dead. 

“How is Hyunjin?” Minho calls over without taking his eyes off of you.

“Alive!” Changbin answers. “Y/N?!”

“Alive!” Minho answers.

“They are both alive?!” Seungmin screams down the hall. 

“Both are alive!” Minho yells back just for the rogue to come join the party.

You don’t know how many more times they’re going to scream that you’re alive, but you don’t care. You wish you could scream it too.

You’re alive. You’re alive!

Chan lets out a loud roar of frustration as Jeongin drags him away from Allerick. “I want him bound and taken back with us. I want him thrown into solitary confinement! Whatever dark hole Miroh has under the Keep, I want him kept there! His face will never know sunlight again!” 

Seungmin rushes past your body over to where Chan and Jeongin are, following his Jarl’s order to bind Allerick. 

Chan continues to scream out in ire. “The Six themselves will have to come release you from Miroh’s prisons, you filthy, miserable excuse for life!”

Minho moves slowly, bending down and cradling your head with one hand. His touch is so gentle, treating you like you’re made of the most delicate glass ever created. 

“We have you, Y/N, we have you. You are safe,” he coos down at you. You’re not sure if he’s trying to convince you or himself that you’re safe now. He keeps repeating it, shuffling you around to cradle you close to his chest. “I got you, Y/N, I have you.”

“Minho,” you whisper hoarsely. The way he reacts, you would think you punched him in the chest. His shoulders hunch forward and he grips you tighter, bringing your head closer to him. Both of Minho’s arms wrap around you and he pulls you up into his lap.

Your head tucks into his chest, a wave of warmth and peace floods through your body once you’re safely nestled in his embrace. 

His clean and musky scent wraps around your senses. It’s been so long since you’ve smelled anything but death, decay, vomit, and blood. 

Behind you, Chan barks more orders, nothing but pure wrath and malice in his voice. 

Weakly, your hand comes up and you grab at Minho’s arm, your bony fingers curling around his arm. His body begins to tremble.

Slowly, your eyes begin to slide shut. That sense of peace and safety lulling your brain to finally shut down. 

“Not yet, Y/N,” Minho whispers, shaking you very gently. He jostles you the same way you would try and get a dew drop to fall from a leaf. 

Another body comes up behind you.

“Water,” Jeongin croaks. “Here, Y/N, drink, please. Please.” 

Minho turns your head for you with one hand cradling the back of your skull. A waterskin is immediately placed upon your lips and clean water comes rushing out into your parted lips. 

You’ve never drank anything so greedily in your life. It’s the best thing you’ve ever tasted. The nectar of the Gods was put into this waterskin, wasn’t it? Your neck cranes to get even more of the water.

“Easy,” Minho says in a gentle tone. 

Jeongin’s hand comes up and rests on your forehead, taking away the waterskin after another moment. His fingers shakily brush away the hair sticking to your forehead. 

Changbin and Seungmin sound as if they’re talking to Hyunjin, giving him water just like Jeongin had done for you. 

Several Miroh soldiers come into the cell. “Take this thing out of my sight,” Chan growls, he’s talking about Allerick. “Straight to the prisons with him. Do not be kind.”

“Aye, my lord,” one soldier says and there’s some shuffling. “The remainder of Erbus has fled, my lord.”

“Good,” Chan answers. “Changbin?”

“Garrison the fort, I will keep another General here.” the Commander answers, his tone distracted. “We return to Miroh immediately. We will come up with another plan once we return.”

“You heard him.”

The soldiers move around and exit the cell.

The cell becomes quiet, save for the whispers of your fellow court members. Changbin and Seungmin whisper down to Hyunjin while Minho and Jeongin coo down to you. 

You could have never anticipated the quietness that surrounds you now.

Chan’s armor clinks as he moves around. “How do they fair?”

“Horrible,” Minho answers quickly. “Horrible, Chan.”

“Her stomach,” Seungmin croaks from across the room. He sounds absolutely miserable. “Please check on her stomach.”

Both Jeongin and Minho hesitate before one of them very gently lifts the fabric of your tunic up to reveal your marred abdomen. Both men suck in sharp gasps.

“I healed her last night,” Hyunjin murmurs. “But only what I could… The poison–”

“What poison?” Chan asks, obviously alarmed.

“Mortal’s Touch,” Seungmin answers. “The one I spoke about.”

Warm, gentle fingers brush over your abdomen delicately. It still sends a sharp pain up your body and you hiss, shrinking away from them.

“Apologies,” Jeongin whines. “I believe her ribs are broken.”

You nod in Minho’s arms, some of the strength returning to your body. Your breathing is still choppy and hoarse. Every few breaths, you cough.

The clinking of Chan’s armor gets louder and you hear him kneel down next to you. Slowly, you open your eyes to look up at him. His warm, brown eyes meet yours and you swear you’ve never felt such instant comfort in your life.

Relief like when your mother held you after falling out of the tree.

Your throat gets tight and your bottom lip trembles.

He looks down at you and you see his jaw clench, the muscles in his neck shift around as he swallows, his Adam's apple bobs. He’s trying so hard to be strong right now, but you know he’s moments away from breaking down completely.

“We need to get them back to Miroh,” he says, his eyes never leaving your face. “They need to see Felix immediately.”

Minho and Jeongin both nod. The advisor slowly and carefully begins to move his arms around, preparing to carry your body out of this damp and dank cell. Your body easily falls into the comfort of his embrace.

Chan stands up first, gathering himself back together to face his soldiers, clearing his throat and looking around the cell for a moment. His shoulders roll back and his head tilts to the side, it’s that same nervous twitch you’ve always watched him have.

He walks towards the cell door, his boots hitting the ground with steady thuds.

“I want my family back home."

[sombredancer]

Li Lun, a villain I feel for (Pt. 2/4)

So, by the beginning of the drama LL says that he wants to kill all of ZYZ’s new friends. In fact, he just likes talking. He says: “Let’s kill ZYZ’s friends starting with Baize Goddess, like the previous time” so the viewer thinks he killed previous goddess off, but later we learn that he didn't do it. Even if he has a perfect opportunity to kill someone of ZYZ’s new friends without ruining his own schemings, he does pretty nothing to achieve it. He just stands and talks. Because he doesn’t really want to kill anyone, including ZYZ. He wants to attract ZYZ’s attention and to make ZYZ stop ghosting him.

Li Lun speaks to Big Bad in Mask while possessing a courtesan. Meanwhile, he lends Truth Eye to Ao Ying so she could see his true self.

LL joins hands with Big Bad in Mask, not knowing he was the one who tortured demons in that bloody dungeon (yeah, LL is not the smartest guy of the Universe). By doing it he tries to achieve his own goals. First, he wants to break free from his custody, and second, he wants to get attention from ZYZ, who ignores him.

In order to break his chains LL works as matchmaker for ZYZ and his girlfriend, so they could fall in love with each other and find and unite pieces of Baize token, because only if the token is intact, it can be broken and its spells can be dissipated. He is not a saint, so he kills some folks (by possessing them or just because) and tricks other demons into helping him, although he is said to value his own kind more than anything. It means he goes through break-up with ZYZ so badly, that even his principles fade into the background for his anger and pain. Or it’s just another script flaw.

Li Lun behaves himself very much as a ghosted ex-boyfriend (in fact, he is), and I understand him well. He goes through stages of acceptance: throws himself from denial (ZYZ is no better than me, why don't you treat him the way he treated me?) through anger (ZYZ, I’ll kill your friends and make you suffer!) to bargaining (Why does he find you better than me? What if you would be like me, would he still love you?).

To talk about his feelings with someone, he uses the only way to leave his dark lifeless place of imprisonment, which is possessing others. At first, this ability and an omnipotence of it looks intimidating, but later we learn that he cuts his lifespan by a half each time he does it, so his need to talk to someone is very desperate. (Later, LL says that it was his way to enjoy the world and freedom but GJM never showed us such a use of this LL's ability). ZYZ knows that destroying LL’s leaves (through which he possesses bodies) will hurt Li Lun, yet he does it anyway, and LL kinda... enjoys it bitterly. As if the fact of him being not ignored by ZYZ is more important that his wellbeing. It's miserable and pathetic, but understandable.

And anytime LL tries to get some answers for his questions, ZYZ and his friends say something like “You don’t understand a thing, I won’t bother to explain, though.” or “We have friends and ZYZ is our boyfriend, and you are a lonely loser!”. How it supposes to help LL understand his wrongs? I have no idea.

Ghosting your ex is the sure way to make him a villain.

LL breaks free from his jail and destroys a “support beam” of the “wall” around demon ghetto. An accent on “I’m destroying the wall” is strange, because I can’t understand the gain demons will have when they aren't in their ghetto anymore (and it obviously should be). Would Great Demons even the scores of victims if not only humans would catch and torture demons but demons would also catch and torture humans, or what? However, it sounds pretty fair, as long as said Baize Goddess’ and ZYZ’s protection of demons consist in only preventing them from going outside their ghetto without passport, LOL.

Although LL is free from the seal, he is still dying from the fatal wound causing by ZYZ 8 years ago. His true body is smoldering slowly, so he has got not so much time left.

For plot purposes, the main heroes need to visit LL’s birthplace to get the last cup of magic water to fix Baize token and to restore a “support beam” of ghetto’s wall. What would a normal villain do, knowing about it? Yes, he would spill it. What does LL do? He, in fact, hands it over to the main heroes. Yes, stained, but LL was a student of Mountain God, too, so he could know that there is a way to restore the pureness of magic water, and the best way to destroy the token for good is to spill this water.

During their visit LL kidnaps ZYZ’s girlfriend (it is funny that the main heroes don’t notice it for something like first five minutes 😅) and has a phycologist session with her (in which she is a psychologist). They have a superstrange conversation, something like: LL: “ZYZ supposed to be my friend but ghosted me for no obvious for me reason and I’m hurt!”. WX: “Oh, it’s because you are a loser with no friends, ZYZ did everything right!”.

Then ZYZ and his current boyfriend come and LL tries once more to tell ZYZ that he is hurt, but ZYZ has absolutely no desire to talk to him or to explain to him something and acts like they were never boyfriends and LL is his archenemy.

So, they fight and ZYZ hurts LL with Everburning Wood once more, now deliberately. LL dies, and although ZYZ has red eyes at this moment he never thinks of LL again. So, LL is right: ZYZ is a hypocrite with double standards. It is such a contrast with the stories of the main heroes and ancient dragon gods, in which killing your friend for Higher Goals is a tragedy.

But there is a plot twist ahead!

Here is Part 1 Here is Part 3 Here is Part 4

[unholywriters]

Demon's Desire - Chapter Three: Lustful Wants

Summary: After getting your new wings from felix, who seemed to have left you quiet a lot of things in return. You stared to work on your list along with trying to get other things you'd normally get done but you also had another goal in mind, to find hyunjin and talk to him. Wanting to know how you got caught in that crash to begin with and see what his role was, also seeing how he is once the moon is out.

Word Count: 5.6k

Parts: Teaser, 01, 02

Tags: Demon AU, Demon royalty AU, demon chan, demon felix, demon lee know, demon seungmin, demon han, demon changbin, demon hyunjin, demon jeongin, unprotected sex, male reader, top stray kids with some switches, bottom reader, MDNI, talks or hell, torture, sexual things, possessiveness, obsessiveness, poly! stray kids, poly! chan, poly! felix, poly!hyunjin, Poly!changbin, poly!seungmin, Poly!i.n., Plly

Taglist: @felixneverbadd @gnusihcom @a-short-ass-disappointment

PS: please enjoy this teasing hyunjin who enjoys messing with you, but nonetheless, reminding you of what he could really do if he wanted to. But being more soft towards you durning the late hours of the night, I hope you're enjoying the series so far, Please feel free to ask for a spot in the taglist I promise I will add you into it so you can enjoy the many chapter to come, not sure how many but they will happen. Next in the list will either be Gluttony Changbin or a sloth Hannie just to throw in something a little extra please enjoy and tell me who do you think should be next.

With that being said I decidede to take another darker turn towards the end just a little surprise, sorry it took me a while but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless1

Filling my tub with warm water, bubbles and rose petals like I always do when taking a bath in the morning. Before I did any of that I made myself a drink, nothing too strong as of right now and set it next to the large sunken in tub with soft music playing the background to help me feel more relaxed then not. I grabbed a silk robe from my closet, usually the first one I see and hang it close to the tub with my towel for drying myself along with my bathroom vanity set up, with the wig from yesterday on the mannequin head for me to get ready for that process. I wanted to do that before I did anything else just to see if it was a lost cause or not and I just needed to take time with it and not rush into it. Taking off the rest of my clothes and setting them down to laundry hamper I kept in there near the tub but not close. My actual hair isn't that bad but if I can keep it up while I take a bath I do, and if not I just let it hang free while I do what I need to do and there's nothing wrong with that.

Slowly getting in I let out a relaxed sigh while slowly letting my back rest against the tub, closing my eyes while I let myself relax. This is all I truly wanted when coming home from work after so long. Just relax, eat somethingwhile watching a show and fall asleep hoping I'm not missing anything while getting ready to do more of a lot of things in the morning. All I wanted to do was this, grabbing my favorite bath sponge and soap I began scrubbing while being carerful of some spots, lookiong closely while I saw a small rose on my left side. It made me stop while I remember seeing the same one on felix, though it was intresting since mine was smaller then I think I could see what his was since it was still covered. It was going to be intresting to hide these during shows, makes me wonder what they would do if they saw those roses being covered just so I can keep my money up.

These men have everything in their hands, but I hate just taking it or being given that, I worked my way to get here. Even when I was constantly in pain and wanted to juist disappear and hope for the next life I would have loving people for my family who didn't want to make my life a living hell while I crawl my way to a palce they've been wanting to do for years yet lost. If I was going to get something, I was going to earn it no matter what any of them wanted to tell me or spoil me. I won't accept less or lowballs for it either. Getting out of the tub and letting out the water, I dried myself off with my towel and used my favorite lotion while making sure my face was cleaned since the makeup was ruined. Getting dressed in something casual for me to wear, it dind't matter to me, just as long as I felt comfortable in this moment right now I was ready to know this was going to be a while. Singing what I could just to get through this, having a steamer to get through this is my best friend for all of this. But the hair wasn't getting better, it wasn't the same anymore, I needed something new.

Maybe I can ask felix when I see him later if it's even possible but there's nothing else I could really do about it. Even after trying for hours to make sure I got everything since yet again I refused to just give up without making sure I could do something but not everything can be saved. There is no point on beating myself up over things I have no control over, that just makes everything harder to get through and I'm not here for it. I closed the wig in the bag it came with and looked at the other two felix had given me. One was the same as my last one, just a bit more sparkely then before. The other one was just as long and flowy, something I loved when getting wigs or even letitng my down my actual hair, but it was a dark blue, almost like a midnight blue to give out something…new. It was like something emerging from the dark and capturing you're attention just to pull you back in the darkness and giving you an embrace that there was no getting out of. Maybe I could use this one for now, since I needed something new after a while.

I help the bag and walked out of the bathroom over to my closet, the large walk in closet with a wide range of everything. Looking through I knew I needed something casual now, the things I was wearing had some sliver strands stuck on it and I just wanted to get into something else. Maybe just a hoodie with some sweats, I should also just let my natural hair breathe for a while. Letting it down while changing into a comfortable hoodie before walking to my room, walking to my work desk where I tend to keep my credit card, notepad to make sure I tracked everything and knew how much I spent on one store, if I go to any. Sometimes If I know I could afford to spend enough I should be good to go on a shopping spree, maybe that's what I need after a long day, well the start of a second one I could feel it coming and man was I not ready and just really wanted to get things done and come back home just to relax. Though my bedroom needed more decore, it was looking boring still I'm getting done with it by now.

I mainly enjoyed walking since I didn't want to drive, my roadrage was too real and I knew I would hit someone in a road rage or I'd get chased and walking just seems a little bit more…manageable after this. Grabbing my small bag I walked towards the door, making sure all of my cards were in there along with some cash just in case. Making sure I had my room key I left and locked the door, tapping the card against the keypad twice to make sure it's locked entirely before walking back to the elevator, one thing I forgot to mention that was in here was my earbuds so I can stay focused on shopping and not have to worry about random people calling my name when I don't feel like talking to them and just stay focused on the things I need to do so I can go home earlier and feel more relaxed and not feeling like I was already doing entirely too much for one day. Slipping them on as I pressed teh main floor button, I just played a random song on my playlist and elft it on shufle while waiting to go down the entire way. Walking out and handing over my key before walking out of hte large black steel metal doors to get to the main sidewalk, turning right and just walking down to the main store close to me, wanting to get my food shopping done first instead of just ordering fast food or eating out. I wanted to cook my own food for tonight and call it good.

It wasn't that far, was it always crowded though? Yes, was I used to it by now? Kinda but not entirely either. Grabbing a shopping cart I began walking around, staying on the left side since this closer and knowing me I was going too carry this all home and give it all to a staff member who has access to all the rooms, and would set everything inside my room without a hitch. Should I have bothered Felix back at home? Maybe but I don't know the exact room number he's in since the door closed right as he started to walk pratically since this place also makes sure everyone is safe, especially those who pay for the higher rooms since those cost more to take care of, though they do treat the lower rooms the same since I used to stay there before getting a bigger room like the one I have now. Sure it would take longer sometimes but since they've been able to expand on a lot more things, every floor now has their own keepers to make things a lot more easier. Something I thought was smart to do because it meant no one would try to steal from the higher rooms and get in trouble for it so fair is fair if you ask me.

But overall it was fine, and I was taking my time and felt more relaxed while trying to plan these out. Looking at everything, I felt better knowing I wasn't using that much but overall it was considered a lot. Overall, with everything I had in my cart, I spent just about 58,000 won ($54) in total with everything in bags before walking back to the hotel. My head held up high and kept walking to the front desk, which was a little bit late since of the drag because of the bags, but I was able to hand them over and watch the people walk to the elevator, where I was surprised to see hyunjin leaving in the same outfit he had when he dropped me off here. I titled my head as he flashed me a smile while walking over to me, his smile never wavering as he got closer. “Well look what we have here, what’s happening right here?” He stood close to me, looking down with his hands still in his pocket while I crossed my arms.

“Didn't feel like getting too dressed up on my day off, what are you doing here?” I asked him, watching him hum and walk around me for a while, almost like he was singing a song in his head anf feeling happy about it and just trying to feel himself. “I wanted to come see what Felix was doing since we have a lot to do tonight. I was about to leave and go to go shopping for some clothes, what were you about to do hm? Cook something and not give me a plate?” I felt my own eyes roll at that statement but I also had a smile on my face despite my efforts to try not to. “I usuaslly go window shopping unless I want something clothes wise, despite my outfit right now, why did you want to try and make up for confusing me when I left after we first met?” I poked a little bear, I could see it in his eyes that he was surpised just a little but and I wanted to keep smirking at the thought it but I didn't. I just kept looking at him while he got closer. I could tell he wanted to reach his arm out like he's been doing almost everytime we've met for now but he stopped himself and honestly I wanted to grab him and walk out since I could tell some people were trying to watch and be nosey about the bussiness that was happening right now but I kept my face as straight as I could.

But he surprised me because he got close enough and leaned down in my ear, his hands coming out of his pockets to hold my sides carefully. “You're smartt babyboy and I like it, let’s talk more about that away from nosey ears, doesn't that sound like a smart idea?” I could only feel myself nod while fighting the urge to roll my eyes. He pulled away just a bit and once again wrapped his left arm around my waist, walking out of the lobby to find him with a different car. “BMW? This looks more pricey then the ones I see on the special events we tend to have.” “Because it was custom made a while ago, thought I have her come out for a drive.” He opened the door and let me inside the backside, I didn't want to smile but I could feel myself smiling as I got in and looked at the black and wine red intieror. He knew what he liked and what looked good, I know some who just woudl've gone with the generic red but this was just the right kind of dark red that feel like a luxury to have. I can imagine the features he has for it as well but won't show it to me yet. “And don't worry about the drivers, I'mnot supposed to be telling you this so early but given how smart you are, I'm sure you can tell something about the drivers now can't you?” I looked over to him, watching him get in the car and closing the door while just leaning back in his seat, of course he didn't need a seatbelt. I guess overall I didn’t need one either but I was used to wearing one everytime I got in a cab just to go anywhere. After all It made sure I somewhat survivedand didn't just go flying out of the car like a fly.

“I thought they were just good at their job and acting like they didn't hear anything as much?” He shook his head, leaning it to the left while humming. “Their lifeless, we each have our own ones, a maxium of 15 just to throw peoeple off.” “Did you tell yours to get into a crash?” I raised a brow, almost ready to explode on him for getting me in this situation because I truly just wanted to go home and continue with my life and proabably laugh at my sister for making a scene if she ever did. “No, our leader had that planned out, we just needed to bring one to the car and hoep he or she would be able to make it past the drinking phase. Usually they all burn from the inside out. I wasn't supposed to be there, since I would stand out but Sometimes I don't listen to him, he gets annoyed about it but there's not a lot he can do other then keep me back in the main house for a while till he thinks I've learned my lesson for not listening to him when he says no.” My mind was trying to put the pieces together again, because clearly I'm not supposed to know who this leader is, but by the looks of it he seems more focused on his friends well-being but making sure the rules are being listned to and not ignored to a point of disrespect.

“The one in the middle? He looks terrifying almost when I met him.” Hyunjin has a habit of tilting his head slightly side to side I can see. Just from the way he's looking now, even when the driver is getting closer to the mall, I can see it from afar and by the looks of it, it's gonna be crowded all over again. Maybe I'll see some coworkers and we can either go on with the day or just talk. Sometimes we do butother times we see a lot of paying customers who used to get violent and try to keep ourselves hidden. Some are just weird but over all it's not my problem nor am I going to carry it like it is. “He can be like that in public or when we have someone we like. For your case, it's to show that we may tell you stories of him being funny and whatnot, but he also wants you to know he has a say in a lot of things that even I can't cross him in. And there will be nothing that any of us could do about it. But, if he likes you slightly, he might go easy on you.” The car parked in front of the main mall entrance, we could see some people peaking while they were walking, hyunjin got out and held his hand out. I tilted my head before looking down and seeing that my outfit was changed.

I wasn't wearing my laid back clothes, instead I was wearing something more fitting for the mall but it was still loose and laid back. I had a black undershirt on with a large white buttoned up see-tihrough shirtthe buttons were slightly undone, only 3 tops ones were and I now had black slack pants with a sliver chain on my left pocket with a large hoop on the front pocket. The sneakers were a nice pick, I was compleletely fine with this one as well but it confused me while I got out and held his hand. “How did you change my outfit? I was fully prepared to ignore people for judging my outfit.” His arm and hand went back to their favorite place while we walked to the entrance while we could slightly hear some whispers and still feel some of the stares coming from many angles.

“Because I'm the type of person that would say something to cause a scene and then ruin their life. Besides think of it as helping getting used to your new life. The main people you have to worry about in public, is our leader obviously, lee know and changbin. Those three take no disrespect when it comes to things like this. And that's not for debate.”

“I'm really worth allof that for 8 men who just met me and decided I was the one?”

I watched him nod his head while we walked and looked around some. There was one outfit I knew Iwanted even if it was for formal events and those are something I rarely attend to unless some of the fancy richer people I know decide to invite me. Even when I know they just need something for me, I charge for that kind of serives because I'm not just going to allow it to happen without someone regretting about it very much.I think hyunjin was just letting me be the guide while he walked along with me. “These are very high dresses, had a plan to attend something fancy outside of the bar now did you?” I could only shurg some while looking around. Slowly getting away from his wamring touch and looking at the racks before seeing a dark wine dress. “Depends onif any of you tend on inviting me to anything, Can't be surprised only to rely on someone to give me a backup. I like having my own options when we go out.” I would keep lookiong up to see his reaction to it since he seems like the type to enjoy spoiling someone he consideres to like, I have more questions for him, but with most of thios being in public it would draw attention and that would be the last thing I needed or wanted to deal with really.

“Besides look at this one, how could I say no to that?” I wanted to try and keep this conversation as normal as possible since I knew i'd be able to talk to him more later tonight. Even though it felt like it was so far from now, I knew that would be more of a better time since then we'd have no one else to worry about. I think he was able to catch onto my thinking or the fact that I really wanted to talk about something with him but it just wasn't coming out the way we wanted to. Since it would also make things a problem and it would be something none of us wanted to. But going back to the dress, it was more considered a mermaid style of a dress, a dark wine red color that would go well with any formal meetings or gatherings which I can only imagine that the men attened. There was a hand stitched design The top had that of a flower and stem design, left to your imagination of what kind of flower, I would say a rose since the color of the dress. The fabric felt like satin with a lace back style, something I knew I had the perfect boots for. Something I always enjoyed when getting dressed up was doing things like this, after all if I look good in a dress, why let my gender stop me from doing so? Even if my shoulders would show and I could probably tuck in the spaghetti straps on the dress to make it look like it was strapless, something I also liked when wearing something like it.

“Well now that you mentioned it, that girl you claimed to be related to when I picked you up.” Carefully putting the dress back on the rack, I looked over to him while he seemed to be looking at his own versions of a dress or even a suit to look for, since everything was close together and it all just overall seemed to look better. “There is an event I was invited to, along with felix and some of the others, you’d get to meet our leader for sure. I was going to go alone, but if you want to go with me then we can go together?” I titled my head to the side being curious of it since I wanted to see what else he had to offer. “Well what’s the attire? How classy or fancy do we have to dress up?” I could see the look in his eyes, he seemed to be happy and excited to be able to get something or the two of us and maybe even making something for the others to see and have something incorporated into the outfit of choice. “Let me surprise you, you can get anything else you wanted from here and I'll handle everything else.”

Hyubjin agreed to have us matching wth some outfits, I let him pickthe outfits from when we lwft and he would come and pikc me up at the time we needed to go, which would be around 7pm, since it was going to be a long drive to somewhere far away from the pearing eyes of those in the city. But that didn't mean there wouldn't be any security. There would be since everyone ahd to verify who they were and who they were going with. Hyunjin promised that he would talk to his leader and get things handled so I could attend with little to no worryandhe would pay for the ticket if he needed to. Which I was sure wa like pocket change for him since he could walk into a store and get things for free but he would still pay the workers mroe then they were getting in most cases since some people would be rude to them after he left. He dropped me off at home, saying he would send the outfit when he was able to get what he knew would be good while I did my makeup.

I didn't go too wild with my makeup, I wanted something simpy but it would still be straight to the point. I decided to stick with black and gold since it just felt right. I didn't want to do the same looks I do for shows, which is just any silver or platinum looks and I wanted to try something different so black and gold it is. The inners of my eyes were a bright gold that would sparkle in any form of light. The outer parts of my eyes faded to a black settled look. To me it was giving a smokey eyed look but I enjoyed it for myself. I added a winged eyeliner just to look more dramatic? In a way but I liked it, my hair was curled, even with it being small {Just in case the reader has short hair} The Sun was started to set when I heard my doorbell ring.

Walking over and opening the door, it was the gift sender from downstairs and held out teh box to me. Smiling to me as I thanked her and walked back inside, setting the box on table and slowly opening it. Gasping in shock as I slowly held it up, It was something I didn't expect from him, this must be a very important event for him to send me something like this. It was a straples dress with a large black flab around my chest area that had a long piece go down the back almost a veil but it was for the back, the front had black jewels with the left side showing the left side of my waist and thigh, but I would have something to cover things no one else was allowed to see. The jewels reminded me of soemthing reaching out like tree roots in the ground. I had just the best pair of heels for these along with a small bag. I got dressed and messed with my hair while making sure everything looked great. Putting on my black heels that had gold on the bottom with a small black bow on hte back and more black jewels on the front. Walking around ym closet I grabbed a small back pruse with a long black string. Inside I would have my favorite cologne, a matching black and gold fan with my favorite birthday cake chapstick with my clear yet sparkly lipgloss.

I almost felt mself wanting to grab my matching black goves just to have something but I felt like I was doing way too much with that so I decided against it, but I did add some black dangling earings with a simple gold necklace with two matching gold bracelets. Looking in the mirror, I looked something new but I was happy with it. I liked the way I looked, how every curse was hugged but it wasn’t too tight or lose. Looking at my phone, because yes he made sure I had his number so I could surprise him instead of him waiting for me downstairs with felix since the two of them were going to ride together. I got the text that he was here and after maksing sure everything was locked, my phone was in my pocket. Double checking that everything was right and off, I left my room and locked it. Walking down the to elevator and walking past everyone on the main lobby, handing the front desk and handing over my key, smiling as I walked to the double doors and soon to the gates. Thanking those who looked at me before someone offered to open the gate and there I saw the two men waiting by the luxury limo.

Hyunjin wore a long sleeved white shirt, the shirt having flower and star shaped cutouts from the fabric itself with one long black glove that had a silver braclet. The black tight leather jeans had a black and gold belt around his waist but had some silver chains hanging from some of the belt loops, with the jeans covering the high boots he was wearing, at least I was guessing he was wearing those. He looked at me with a proud smile but he was also had a shokced look on his face while I walked closer. Looking over to felix, who had more of shocked face but was still happy to see me. He seemed to take more a prince look by his outfit. It was pure white, practically the same color as snow, no wonder we had so many people staring. Yet there was still some gold accents to it, the collar covering his neck had a gold stitched in flower with a gold chain going to his right shoulder. On the right side on the white pocket was a gold, I wantt to call it a button but its not. He did have gold buttons on it though, shinning with the light while the left side was covered with a matching clock. If I didn't know any better I would've assumed he was a prince with how he was dressed for such an event. And I can see why the place were going is going to be concsidered private from the public eye and we have to go out of town for it.

“Now Hyunjin look at this, you pratically incorporated everyones outfits into one dress for this handsome man, we're going to be late for this.” Felix wanted to say more, but people were talking and some were starting to pull out there phones to take vides or pictures. So all got into the black limo and comfortably sat as the limo drove off. “Well, minus the mob that was growing, thank you Felix, I told you I was going to try and blow people away.” “You two looked like you came straight from a fairytale and decided to come look for a bride and decided on a male. You two can’t say much when it comes to me.” I joked, seeing hyunjin act dramatically shocked, and felix starting to laugh. “Guessing by the fancy attire we all are wearing, this has to be something very important or something just to be yourself away from the public eye and trying to make the place free from people?”

I was sitting between the pair and could see them looking at each other. I almost wanted to say I could see a faint hint of green and red between the two of them, but I wasn't going to question yet. “Well, I would've explained that when you went to sleep tonight but giving how I've been with you pratcailly all day, you won't see me tonight, since you have to meet someone new to keep you on your toes. Me and felix have been too friendly with you, something out leader isn't too fond of thnking that we're favoring you and not giving you a fairchance. That being said the place that we're going to tonight is more of a close friend of ours, well a close group. They can tell you more then we can if they choose to, but always keep this in mind. If you see their captain, and trust me they make it well known who that is, but be careful of them. The two leaders are more resevered then the others are.” I titled my head while felix explained all of this to me. It was more of an eye opener and a reminder, I'm not a human anymore and there will be poeple that I run into that could either make my experience duriong this and some that could make me regret ever being here. Something I never thought to consider.

I have been more friendly and close with these two simply because Felix lives closer to me, and hyunjin seems to be more social and local in the places I tend to visit. I have 5 more people to meet, with one of them seemingly being the one who can either make a choice go through or put a stop to it quicker then any of us could blink with a snap of his finger. “You won't like the later part of this event, something we al started to think about later beacuse at the end of it, you'll begin to see more demons and such and what some of us do, speak out about it if you choose to but rememebr this. Me and Felix can only do so much, if we get told no by those stronger then us and there's only one, there is nothing we can do to save you. And you won't like us for a while because of it.”

If I could leave the car I would, because Hyunjin made his eyes glow this mixture of pink and a dark purple while seeminly enjoying the fact that I was confused and slowly putting things together that I don't have much control over what happens. I was so caught up in being treated like nothing was different and not experiencing anything different from what I'm used to that the now reality that the places I could go won't have humans anymore and if I'm not careful something drastic could happen and there is very little some could do. I was staring at Hyunjin but felix seemed to keep his eyes more normal but I could swear I saw the undertone green at the bottom of his eyes. It was something some would have to pay very close attetnion to in order to notice it. But it overall seemed something for them to enjoy, makes sense as to why we're dressed up so fancy for it as well. And why we had to be so far away from people. “What happens at these events?” “Can't tell you that, it would ruin the fun of your reaction. Don't worry, you won't be phycailly hurt, but you will hate us for the next oh..couple days?”

We got to the place, stopping at the entrance where there were other luxury cars stopped in the large circle driveway that had those large water fountains in the middle. “Do try to remember, everything we've done was genuine, love.”