#do you know how to drive????????? i don't either

[paarksunghoon]

resignation (7)

SUMMARY: For the last six years, you’ve dedicated your career to ensuring Park Sunghoon never misses a day of work in his life. But you’re tired of endless days that seem to blend together, and seeing him living his fun, luxurious lifestyle makes you think about what else you might be missing out on. When Sunghoon finds your resignation letter on his desk, he does everything in his power to convince you to stay.

NOTES: this chapter is also unedited. sorry y'all

WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: mutual masturbation, phone sex, dirty talk.

SERIES PLAYLIST + SERIES MASTERLIST

***

Sunghoon has grown far more bold ever since having dinner with him for the second time. You don't shy away or make a fuss about it when the two of you are alone together, and it scares you just how much you enjoy being in his company without the pretext of making sure he’s on track to succeed at his job. 

He calls you after work to talk about anything but for the first time. Sunghoon keeps you company on the phone while you make dinner, and the two of you remain on the line while you brush your teeth before putting yourself to bed. He does the same, too, informing you of his meal and that he’s the kind of guy who needs a sweet treat before he goes to bed. 

He’s just as bold on the phone as he is in person. 

“Is it bad that I want to touch you?” 

“What?” 

“I just…I miss touching you. I’ll go crazy if I’m not near you.”

“You’re insane. Are you drunk?”

“Stone cold sober,” he tells you when you’ve settled into your sheets. It sounds like Sunghoon’s rustling in his bed sheets to sit up and rest against his headboard. “Can’t believe you’re so far from me.”

Is it normal for you to get worked up over Sunghoon’s voice? 

“I haven’t stopped thinking about the night you slept over. God, you were so wet. You look really good when you come and you sound even better.”

His words echo in your mind and you grow more aroused with every word spoken. Sunghoon speaks like he’s got the raw honest truth that needs to be shared, or else it’ll make him go mad. His voice is breathy and light. It almost makes you think he’s troubled by it. You sit upright, too. Your pillows act as a brace for your back as you cross your legs and keep your phone by your ear.  

“I can’t stop thinking about eating you out in your office either. Do you know how long I’ve been fantasizing about that? I can’t believe you let me eat it during work hours.”

“You’ve thought about it?” you ask in disbelief.

“Yeah. More times than I’d like to admit.”

“H-How long?”

Sunghoon lets out a breathy laugh. “Years, maybe. Definitely when you came into the office wearing the long purple dress. You looked so good waiting for me.”

You can’t help when you clench around nothing and roll your hips in the air. There’s no doubt your cunt is sopping wet by Sunghoon’s words alone, and his confession leaves you aching for his touch. 

“I don’t know what it was about that dress. It was backless. You wore high heels, too. The kind I’d never seen you wear before. You looked different than you usually did.” 

You put your phone on speaker and close your eyes as you let your middle finger ghost over your covered slit, imagining it was Sunghoon touching you instead. It takes you right back to the morning he fingered you for the first time when you feel how wet you are. You almost feel shameful for getting horny over the sound of Sunghoon’s voice. But it’s deep and seductive, and you can’t help it. 

“I’ve always thought you were attractive. I love assertive women. I love when you put me in my place and argue up the wall until one of us gives up. It drives me fucking crazy when you get mad at me because all I can think about it how good the sex would be.”

You whimper quietly. It catches over the phone and Sunghoon hears it.

“Are you horny, baby?” Sunghoon asks like he can’t believe you feel the same way too. 

“Yeah.”

“Me too. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

He breathes heavily and emits a quiet moan. You’re afraid to admit how incredibly attractive Sunghoon’s moans are and settle for biting your lip while prodding your covered cunt against your opening. 

“Remember when we fooled around the night you stayed over? My dick was so hard for you. I was ready to take off your clothes and fuck you right then. 

But it was late and we had work. You looked at me like you wanted it. I could see how badly you wanted me. Did you see how badly I wanted you too?” 

After moving your panties to the side, you take the underside of your fingertips and glide when back and forth over your soaked pussy. You pass your clit with every swipe and jolt at the euphoric feeling while pretending it’s Sunghoon’s hand. You could come from just this if you tried hard enough. 

“You’re a little quiet. Are you okay?”

“I…” you trial off, finding the courage to speak. “I like hearing you talk.”

Sunghoon hums. “You like hearing how horny you make me?”

“God yes.” It comes out like you’re desperate for it. 

“I can’t wait to fuck you. For real, this time. We’ll have all the time in the world for foreplay, but this time, I’ll be able to fuck you without anything or anyone interrupting.” 

When you hear wet sounds on the other end of the line, you can’t help but moan. You picture Sunghoon spreading his precum all over his cock with his hand shaped like a fist, twisting his wrist so that his thumb reaches his tip. You picture him with his phone put on speaker in order to use both hands to jerk himself off. 

The echoes of his wetness splashing makes you put a single finger inside of you. When you listen carefully, you hear Sunghoon’s heavy breathing and the way he’s touching himself. You picture what his face would look like with his eyes closed and mouth wide open.

“I think you want that as badly as I do. I’ve got a place by the countryside. How about a weekend getaway? I’ll fuck you for the entire weekend if that’s what you want.”

Sunghoon hisses and you picture him with his hips in the air as he squeezes himself at the base. Your reference of his print from the first time helps you imagine how big he is without his clothes on. Big and thick. You push your finger deeper inside you and pull your wrist out, just to push it in again. 

“I could fuck your perfect pussy in my bed. I’ll take you on my couch while we’re watching a movie. We’ll do it in the shower and in my car.”

He wants to fuck you this badly? Sunghoon’s words falter with every passing sentence. It sounds like he’s losing his grip on sanity the more he jerks himself off. You come to the conclusion that if you can hear Sunghoon touching himself, he could likely hear you getting off too.

Why does that make you feel excited? 

You feel crazy when you think about what he’s saying. Why does it sound like Sunghoon has been thinking about this for a while? And, God, how is he able to bring out this side of you? 

“I can’t help myself when it comes to you.”

Sunghoon’s hand picks up the pace and he moans, unashamed. His deep grunts push you to add another finger inside and recall the girth of his own. You think about what he’d look like touching you in the quiet of your room on your own bed sheets instead of his. You imagine Sunghoon’s naked chest hovering over you while his face contorts into an expression of pleasure when he fucks his fingers inside of you. 

Thinking about him like this makes you feel exhilarated. Your chest heaves up and down and you can’t help but roll your hips and push them towards your fingers. You reach the deepest parts of yourself and moan out loud, covering your mouth when you realize how loud you sound.

“Yes, yes, yes.” Sunghoon whimpers on the other end. “Keep going. You sound so fucking good.”

It’s not hard to listen to him. Moaning against your palm is like second nature when your fingers push themselves in and out. Sunghoon grunts and you imagine himself fucking his hips up in the air while his other hand tries to chase after his balls to squeeze them. He must be jerking himself off fast and quickly by the sound of slapping. 

Imagining what it would feel like to go all the way with him pushes you over the edge. Sunghoon’s words get to you, and you think about his dick ramming inside of you like he’ll die if he doesn’t fuck you properly. He sounds mangled and desperate to touch you without interruption. Something tells you he wouldn’t care if somebody walked in on him pleasuring you, but you know Sunghoon wants you all to himself just as badly.  

You come with panting breaths and Sunghoon moans, too. The way you moan together sounds euphoric. So much, in fact, that you picture him on top of you as he finishes alongside you. You scrum able to grab your phone and take him off speaker so you can hear Sunghoo’s moans directly in your ear, and pretend he’s moaning while on top of you.

“I’m gonna, shit, holy shit—”

Sunghoon moans loudly when he comes. You imagine his hand working overtime to push out every last drop with his eyes wired shut. He could either be squirting ropes out his tip until it splashes on his abdomen. Or, his come could come out like a slow fountain and drip all over his dick until it seeps past his base. The urge to see him orgasm overtakes your every desire. It’s not fair that he’s seen you naked twice and you haven’t seen him named at all. 

“You’re perfect.” 

You snort. “Give me a second to calm down before you coddle me, would you? And what am I, a booty call when you can’t get off?” 

“You’re more than that to me, and you know it. You just like giving me a hard time.”

“Someone has to.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“When am I not?” 

He chuckles. “We should probably sleep. Work, you know?”

“You can be so awkward sometimes.” You laugh and pick up the phone to put it by your ear. “And, um…you sound really good. You know, when you, like…yeah.”

“When I what?” He’s teasing you and he knows you know it. 

“You know!” 

“I do, but I want to hear you say it.” 

Your cheeks warm up and you find your courage. “You sound really good when you moan. I just…jesus.” 

“And you sound like a fucking angel every time I make you come.” 

“I’m going to hang up now,” you say hastily with your bottom lip caught between your teeth. He laughs. “Goodnight, Sunghoon.”

“Night, love. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

***

Maybe you’re losing your goddamn mind. 

It’s hard to keep work separate from whatever’s going on between you and Sunghoon because every moment in his office feels like a lion stalking its prey. He’s professional in all sense of the word, except when he winks at you when nobody’s looking. You can’t count the times he’s snuck a kiss when the two of you are alone in the break room. 

Is this a situationship? Is it casual dating? Would he describe this as either? 

These questions have circled inside your mind from the minute you let him bury his fingers deep into you. You’re the kind of girl who likes a distinct answer with a clear label. You like stability and clarity, not the back and forth that you see in Netflix dramas. 

Even so, you can’t help but relish the time you spend with Sunghoon. He’s giving you the kind of attention you’ve been secretly yearning for during your years away from home. It felt scary to jump into the deep end without knowing how far you’d fall, but Sunghoon makes you think the risk is worth it. 

“Did I lose you?” 

Sunoo’s voice cuts through your phone and you blink twice while staring at yourself in the mirror with a tube of mascara in hand. His voice brings you out of your thoughts.

“Sorry, I got distracted.”

“Thinking about lover boy, aren’t you?”

“He’s my boss, Sun.”

“A boss you’re fucking.”

“We are not fucking!” 

“Yet.” 

You close the mascara tube. “You’re so insufferable. I don’t know why I bother to update you on my life when you have plenty of action back home.”

Sunoo laughs. “It’s ’cause you love me and have no friends.”

“Yah. No need to rub it in. I’m pretty sure I’m becoming friends with my neighbor who watches Pochi for me when Sunghoon needs me to stay late.” 

“That’s good. See, you aren’t totally helpless when it comes to your social life.” 

You sigh. “Yeah, I guess. It’s been hard juggling work and my personal life. It feels like every person I hang out with is a product of my job. Everybody wants a meeting to connect with me, but nobody gives a shit about me.” 

“Don’t say that. I know I tease you a lot, but that’s because I love you. People don’t see how great you are.”

“Ha. Maybe. Quitting Park Inc. will give me more time to think about my life. I don’t care if I have to work in a library for a year. Anything is better than a job where I won’t grow.” 

“It sounds like you’re doing the right thing.”

“Am I?” You sigh into the phone. “I have no backup plan. I’m quitting on a whim and the money I’ve gotten from Sunghoon will last me for a while, sure, but then what? It’s not like I can crawl back to this company if I don’t find anything better.”

“You’ve been thinking about quitting for months,” Sunoo reminds you. “This isn’t a rash decision. We’ve spent a lot of time talking about this. You’re not happy working at this company and it’s about damn time you have a life outside of work.”

“I know. It’s just…different, I guess. I’ve gotten used to this lifestyle and catering to other people, you know? I’m not alone, but I feel really lonely.” 

Sunoo hums with sympathy. “I wish I could see you everyday.”

“You’d get sick of me.”

He laughs. “No I wouldn’t. But don’t tell anyone that.” 

“He took me to dinner last night, you know?”

“Sunghoon?”

“Mhm. There’s a Spanish place not far from my place. We looked at it for a company event in the summertime.”

“Like a food tasting?”

“Yeah, exactly that. Sunghoon ordered all of the menu, practically. We talked to the manager about it because they knew we were coming in, but he told me to order anything that looked good.”

“How much did you eat?”

“Too much, Sun. Sunghoon kept telling me not to worry about the price because it’s expensive anyway. I’m pretty sure Sunghoon might be the manager’s new favorite person.” 

“That sounds like a date.” 

You click your tongue. “I don’t know. Probably not. He held my chair out for me.”

“That was a date.”

“Sure. We had a few of their signature cocktails, too. Really good. Top shelf kind of stuff. We need to finalize their menu before I leave for good.”

Sunoo chuckles from the other end of the line. “You are so in denial.”

“Shut up. Did you eat breakfast yet?”

“I’m actually walking downstairs now. Riki’s up early because he has class and then dance practice later this evening.”

“Is that your sister?” A deeper voice flows through your ears.

“Hey, Riki. How are your classes and practice?”

“I resist the urge to fall asleep on my desk,” he says, which makes you laugh. “Dance is great. We’ve got a showcase in Seoul in a few weeks. You should come!”

“I’d love to. Text me the details, yeah?”

“Bring whoever. There’s gonna be a few scouts, but it’s not a huge thing.”

“I’ll be there.” 

“You two are disgustingly supportive of each other,” Sunoo says.

“Don’t act like you don’t worry about her,” Riki says, no doubt teasing Sunoo while the latter rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m kind of stuck with her as a sister, so I have to.”

You laugh. “Don’t lie. You love me.”

“Debatable.”

You smile when you hang up the phone.

***

Yang Jungwon is fifteen minutes early.

You see him sitting in the lobby of your floor by the time you step out of your office to refill your water bottle before the interview. He’s got a piece of paper in his hands and he looks like he’s reading over the material thoroughly. Jungwon sits with a briefcase by his feet and dresses like he might as well be a business partner of Sunghoon’s. The secretary lets you know he’s waiting for the interview and you’re more than pleased to know he hasn’t arrived last minute. 

Sunghoon is nowhere to be found, either. Even though each candidate has no inclination as to who they’ll be working with, you know Sunghoon’s curiosity will get the better of him. You’ve scheduled a meeting with a client out of the office and he won’t come back until well into the day.

An unfamiliar feeling settles in your chest when you look at him. He looks the way you did before you were hired. Nervous, ambitious, and hopeful. Looking at him makes you think about when you arrived at the interview much earlier than the set time and how you tried to push down your anxiety to appear more sure of yourself. 

The years seem to have flown by the more you focus on work. A strange sense of nostalgia and longing lurks within you as you watch Jungwon from your office. Facing the fact that you will be replaced in a month feels oddly daunting. By the time you approach him, he stands up and bows respectfully. 

“Thank you for taking the time to meet with me,” he says, putting the stray paper away. “I appreciate your time and consideration.”

“Thank you for coming. Let’s talk inside my office.” 

He follows you inside and takes a seat in front of your desk when you beckon him to feel comfortable. It feels strange to be on this side of the interview; you kept a low profile during your first few years as an assistant until working with Sunghoon was as easy as counting to three. Becoming an invaluable asset and accumulating the fine details of how this company operates and the business it does feels like you’re far too integrated to leave. But you’ve always been Sunghoon’s right hand and nothing more. 

Still, facing the reality that you’re parting ways with this job feels unnatural. 

“How are you, Jungwon?”

“I’m great, actually.” He puts the briefcase on the ground and smoothes over his pants. “I’m really looking forward to our conversation.” 

“Thanks for coming in on a Tuesday morning.”

“It’s my pleasure. I’m sure you have more pressing matters.” You hum. Hearing corporate speak from such a young man reminds you of the person you were six years ago.

“Tell me about yourself.”

He gulps. “I’ve just graduated college and have always held an interest in being in management. I wasn’t sure what field I wanted to go into, but Seoul has so many great opportunities I was afforded to discover during my time at university.” Jungwon takes a deep breath and twiddles his thumbs. 

“Throughout my years at internships, venture capitalism caught my interest the most. It was fun, if I may speak candidly. I extended my internship throughout the summer before I graduated and liked being part of a team that sets up success for clients I believe in.” He watches you look down at his resume sitting atop your desk. 

“You have great experience and your university courses align with what we do here.”

“I tailored my education during my last year of university because I know this is what I want to do for the foreseeable future. I want to learn from the best and become great at what I do without losing my head.”

You hum. “This job can get hectic, don’t you think?” 

“I think any job can get that way, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it. My days were long and difficult, but I loved getting the experience to solve problems and make things happen for businesses. I enjoyed being part of it, even if I only contributed a small portion.”

Jungwon talks like he’s got the entire world ahead of him. It makes you wish you could see yourself like that too.

“Frankly speaking, this assistant position is much more than filing papers and running errands. There will be elements of that from time to time, but the person you’ll be working under likes to see how well his assistant can juggle the fine details before anything else.” 

“I’m not held to a position,” Jungwon says with a smile. “I really like learning from other people and the best way to do it is to surround myself in an environment that teaches me. Even if I’m getting dry cleaning one day and sitting in on meetings the next, I’d like to think all of those tasks will lead me to become great at my job.”

“It’s a stepping stone, for sure. As you know, Park Inc. is the biggest venture capitalist firm in Asia and there is little room for error. How do you approach obstacles?”

“There’s no getting around bad days or lapse of judgment. We all make mistakes and it’s up to us to learn from them. I would consider myself somebody who sees the big picture for what it is. I’m also somebody who needs to focus twice as hard when it comes to the fine details and executing steps before we reach the end goal. It’s hard, especially when I’m in the beginning stages of my career, but I have the determination and ambition to succeed.” 

Jungwon gives you near perfect answers when you ask him questions. Sunghoon thrives off of organization and somebody who can keep up with his routine. It’s hard to separate who you are with this job because you’re the longest assistant Sunghoon has ever had, and you think that counts for something. 

A part of you looks at Jungwon like he’s a younger version of you. It’s as if you’re peering into your past; the concept of being incredibly motivated to jumpstart his career makes you wonder where your wide-eyed ambition went. His big, round eyes look at you with curiosity and his body language shows eagerness. You ponder on all the reasons why you’re giving your job up. You don’t find this position fulfilling anymore. This everyday routine doesn’t make you happy like it used to. 

There’s hesitance in leaving the company you’ve worked for during your six years living by yourself. It was lonely, at first, with the knowledge that you’d be leaving your family and grade friends behind. Your parents and Sunoo helped you pack your belongings, but it seemed like he was the only one genuinely emotional about the move. While he swayed anywhere between excited for your next chapter and sad that you’d be far away, your parents seemed eager to get you out of the house. 

Calls came few and in between. They’d driven you in a U-Haul truck with everything you owned and helped put the boxes in your apartment, but that was that. They had called a couple of times to make sure you were settled in because your relatives and neighbors had asked about it. But other than that, it seemed like most of their focus shifted onto Sunoo. 

It wasn’t surprising, either. The three of you weren’t that close as you grew up. Getting used to secondhand treatment and the absence of parenthood was easier when you eventually left your hometown. Long gone were the days where you’d drive past your high school and relive memories of being forgotten at pickup or after extracurriculars. The impending doom of loneliness that came with moving to a brand new city without knowing a single soul was better than living with two people who were supposed to love you, but didn’t. 

Having a set routine and focusing your attention on Sunghoon was a big reason as to why your adjustment wasn’t as hard as you thought it would be. Your time was spent worrying about getting the hang of your job, and eventually catering to his needs. There wasn’t any time in your day to think about how lonely you were sitting in your apartment every weekend while everyone on your social feed was out of their house. 

Befriending your neighbors and people you’ve met through work was your saving grace once the loneliness started to make its presence known. By this time, you knew Sunghoon like the back of your hand and work wasn’t keeping you from sleeping. You didn’t have to worry about impressing him because you’d been working under him long enough to know what he needed and how he operated. All that was left was you and your thoughts alone. Thinking about your life apart from your career was scary. 

But even with new challenges and shortcomings, you’ve grown over the last few years. You’re not the timid person you were when you lived with your parents. This job has forced you to come out of your shell and broaden your worldview, inevitably teaching you how to become a more confident person. This job is filled with entitled men who know nothing of struggle, and being able to move past harsh criticisms and sexist behavior taught you what it meant to be a stronger person. 

It feels bittersweet to hear Jungwon talk about why he wants your job so much. You don’t feel as excited to come into the office and contribute to your company like you all those years ago. It’s become monotonous and predictable. You know Sunghoon’s life better than you know your own. You know his medical history (in case of an emergency), you’ve gotten to know his immediate and distant family (because his entire family is in the venture capitalist business), and you’ve spent enough time with Sunghoon to get to know his quirks and habits. It’s time to let this phase of your life pass.

Who are you when you’re not his assistant? You’re having trouble figuring that out.  

“Thank you for your honesty and for your time,” you tell Jungwon earnestly. He stands when you do and bows politely. 

“If I may be honest once more,” Jungwon begins, “this is the best interview I’ve ever had.” 

That makes you stop in your tracks. “Really?” 

He nods. “I don’t mean to come off like I’m trying to sway you, or anything. I know how competitive this business is. But I appreciated how easy it was to talk to you and I enjoyed having a conversation instead of listing all of my strengths and weaknesses over and over again. 

“It’s easy to get lost in the stress of this job. It sounds like you really care about what you do. I know we don’t know each other, but I get the feeling you’ve seen a thing or two and learned from it. Maybe this is crossing a line. I don't know. But honestly, it felt like I was talking to an older version of me, in a sense? So, yeah, I loved our interview.” 

“Thank you, Jungwon.” You try to remain neutral and keep your mouth shut to prevent yourself from being too honest with a candidate. “I had a wonderful time with you, too. Let me walk you to the elevator.” He follows behind you to the silver doors and smiles politely at you before stepping inside. 

“For what it’s worth, I’m happy to have met you.” 

The elevator doors close. Sunghoon, who apparently made his way back into his office without letting Jungwon see, is sitting at his desk and looking at his computer. It takes a few strides before you round the corner and knock on his door. Sunghoon beckons for you to come in. 

“How’d it go with the candidate? Did you lay it on thick or keep it casual? Jaeyun was betting on the former, but I think otherwise.”

You’re grateful that his office faces yours and cannot be seen from the floor lobby. Sunghoon looks at you in concern when your bottom lip starts to wobble as you walk closer to him, and you can barely see a thing when tears start to gather in your waterline. 

“Baby?” Sunghoon says gently. “Are you okay?” 

That goddamn term of endearment makes the dam burst. 

It doesn’t help that you don’t cry in front of people. Not ever. There is a mix of embarrassment and shame stirring in your chest when Sunghoon looks at you as your tears fall one after the other. It keeps you standing where you are and unable to move your feet to walk any closer to him. Sunghoon springs up from his chair and stands in front of you within three steps. He encircles his arms around your body and pulls you into his chest like he’s done it a million times before, tucking your face into the crook of his neck. 

You keep your voice and sniffles low, but you let the tears freefall. It feels like you’re being sheltered and comforted at the same time. You can’t help but think how odd and uncomfortable it feels to be held like this after years of healing on your own. You couldn’t name the last time you’ve leaned on somebody else for support when you’ve felt like crying. And as unfamiliar as this feeling is, you don’t want to run away from it. 

Sunghoon doesn’t speak, either. He doesn’t do or say anything except rubbing your upper back with his palm in an attempt to soothe you. You don’t see his furrowed eyebrows or feel how his throat clenches at the sound of you sniffling against him. He doesn’t care if his clothes dampen with your tears, nor does he care if he has to stand like this for hours just to get you to stop crying. 

It feels so good to let yourself depend on him. You allow your head to fall onto his chest and remain there until your cries subside. Sunghoon keeps you between his arms and moves his free hand to the back of your head like he’s trying to tuck you further into him. It feels nice to be comforted like this, especially when you’ve been pretending you’ve been perfectly fine all along. 

“What happened?” Sunghoon asks delicately. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I don’t like seeing you cry.” 

“I met with Jungwon.” You sniffle and then hiccup. 

“Yeah? Was the interview that bad?” You shake your head. 

“N-No. The opposite.” 

“But you’re in tears, love.” 

You hiccup again. “I used to be ambitious and passionate. I used to look forward to the future. Jungwon told me this was the best interview he’s ever had and I can’t remember the last time somebody believed in me.” 

“Oh, love.” Sunghoon cups your jawline and gently tilts your head upwards to look at him. “You’re still ambitious and passionate. That side of you is still there, but it’s time for a change and you know it.” He kisses your forehead. “There’s so much to admire about you. I knew I wanted you to be my assistant when I knew how eager you were to learn and experience life. Do you remember the first time we met?” 

You nod. “You were obsessed with that stupid orange tie.” 

“Yeah,” he laughs. “I was, wasn’t I? Ditching it was the second best decision I made.”

“What was the first?” Sunghoon smoothes over your cheeks with his thumbs. 

“Hiring you. I like being around you, and I like who I’ve become with you by my side. Jungwon isn’t the only person who believes in you, dove. I do, too.” 

You let out another choked sob, not caring how your mascara is probably running down your cheeks or how buffy your face has gotten. Something about the way he looks at you while he says the most kind and caring things stirs a part of you that yearns for validation and acceptance. For years now, you’ve learned to keep yourself in check and to become as independent as possible to avoid being disappointed by other people. But Sunghoon looks at you like he’d be there for you in a heartbeat. 

His pet names don’t soften the blow to your heart, either. You’ve never been keen on nicknames in the first place. Terms of endearment sounded appealing, but only in television and books. Hearing Sunghoon talk to you like you’re somebody he cares about makes you realize just how much you care for him, too.

You’ve fallen for Sunghoon, but have been keeping this realization locked away in fear of being rejected. You can handle rejection and unrequited love, but the weight of knowing you’d need to do the work in order to move on is what scares you. You’ve never felt so intensely about someone before. This is the first time you could ever say you’ve fallen in love with somebody, and you can’t help but think Sunoo was right all along. 

Is this what it feels like to be in love? To yearn for somebody so much that you’d do anything to keep them within your grasp? Is love meant to feel like you’re flying high above the clouds and afraid that you’ll have to fly closer to the ground if Sunghoon doesn't love you back? Is this what others feel when they speak of being on cloud nine? 

“I…” 

Sunghoon locks his eyes with yours. He doesn’t pressure you to speak. The words I love you are sitting at the tip of your tongue, but you can’t seem to get yourself to say it just yet. It doesn’t feel right with all of these insecurities floating around in your head. You don’t want to be rejected and still have to see him after today. 

“I’m grateful for you,” is what you settle on. “Thank you for believing in me that day.” 

Sunghoon kisses your nose. You hate that you love the way his lips tickle and you loathe the way your heart rate picks up. 

“I think we should go to lunch and forget about work for an hour or two. What do you say? You’ll be proud to know I’ve taken care of all my meetings and outstanding priorities.” 

“I’d like that.” 

You’re honest with him, too. You want to be selfish and continue spending time with him while your heart remains fragile. 

He lets you. 

***

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[sweaterkittensahoy]

So, anyway, this vaguepost I made about people being up their own ass about what to do with Joann closing down because they have clearly no real knowledge of where Joann was popular and what it means to lose it was because of this post.

Congrats. You live in a city. So do I. But I used to live 2 hours from the nearest Joann and understand what the loss of one to a rural or semi-rural community can actually do, and the answer is not "find a brown neighborhood. (Funny how you and another white person really wanted to justify that wording in the replies. Like you can't see how talking about brown neighborhoods like things waiting for white people to discover them and validate them and give them attention by "getting to know the staff" isn't fucking gross.)

I don't like to go, "You're privileged and need to unfuck yourself," but also. Unfuck yourself.

By and large, small communities lost a valuable resource when Joann closed down. And that means either losing the only fabric store in reasonable driving distance (growing up where I did, half an hour was reasonable to get to the big Wal-Mart with the big fabric section (RIP)) or losing the only fabric store AND yarn store in a reasonable driving distance.

Or being left with only the Hobby Lobby in reasonable driving distance, and if you're mad someone is violating praxis by shopping at Hobby Lobby because the other options aren't realistic for them, you can eat shit and die mad.

With JoAnne Fabrics going out of business I feel it is my duty as a cosplayer, historical costumer, and general sewing gremlin to help teach y'all how not to be reliant on evil overpriced mediocre big box stores for fabric and cosplay supply, cause if I catch y'all going into Homophobia Lobby to get cosplay fabrics imma have to start throwing hands. And frankly you guys all deserve better.

- Find a neighborhood full of brown people. Probably a slightly poorer neighborhod. I know, I know, but they will have small independent fabric stores. Selection in each may vary. Hispanic and Caribbean areas will give you prints that EAT. Muslim areas will give you fabrics with amazing drapery. Indian and Southeast Asian areas will give you beading that would make the House of Worth wet with envy. (Try to avoid oldwhitelady quilting stores unless you are a knitter or are specifically trying to cosplay Kirsten Larson.) (Also ask while you're there for lunch/dinner spot recommendations. Your fabric store guy usually has a buddy with a joint nextdoor with the best *insert relevant ethnic food here* you'll ever put in your mouth.)

- DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE OWNER OF SAID STORE. This I cannot stress enough. Abdul, my fabric guy, can and will get me whatever I want cause he knows me, knows I bring in other young people, and knows I will be back every month for more. Indie fabric stores tend to have older clients. They are anxious to see faces under 60. Just chat with whoever is in there about the kind of stuff you want and need and they will help you. This also frequently leads to discounts. I have not paid listed price for fabric in years and just walked out of Abdul's with 7~ yards of gorgeous teal satin for 10 bucks. Not a yard. Total.

- Do not be afraid of mess. The best shit comes from stores that look like a hurricane went through them. Don't try to understand the organization. (One day, 4 years into your relationship with the store, suddenly the fabric gods will reveal the knowledge to you.) Again, talk to whoever is in there about your project. They'll help.

- Give up on one stop shopping. Get your crafting supplies elsewhere. Like a small independent hardware store. There's usually an old guy in there that reminds you of an uncle who will also help you.

-Worbla and whatever other Cosplay Specific Material you're using is a fatphobic material straight from Satan's hot taint, you do not need it, and any old hardware/tractor supply dad will help you find better, more durable armor/weapon/detailing material. Don't snub your nose at paper mache and plaster of paris. Venetian Mask makers have been using it for years. Balsa wood is also your friend. Hardware store Uncles will teach you to work with both.

- Elderly people are your bffs. If you see an old person TALK TO THEM. They know how to do all kinds of shit. I know there's a hesitation around old people because of the political climate and a fear that they may be homo/trans/whatever-phobic, but hey....minds are changed by making friends. My elderly Muslim fabric supplier is an Our Flag Means Death fan because of me gushing about the teal I needed for Stede Bonnet. He wishes me happy pride now. He put bolt of rainbow in the window in June and kept it up all summer. And he'd never had a thought about queers before me.

- Don't feel limited to Craft and Fabric stores. Hardware stores are cool. They stock outdoor fabrics and umbrella and furniture covers that are very durable....my first cosplay was made out of patio furniture covers. Also upholstery stores and upholsterers have velvets and damasks and faux leather and real leather and all sorts of rich textures. Most of them will part with a few yards pretty cheap. Second hand sheets and bedspreads and curtains also make some really cool garments. A significant amount of my ren fair garb started as household goods.

- If you are forced to order fabric online, please for the love of all that is holy DO NOT BUY FROM MOOD or any other famous store. You're paying for their branding and their place on certain reality shows I will not mention. Indie is always cheaper for the quality and usually not abusing their workers.

- If the fabric/hobby/hardware/upholstery/etc store you develop a relationship with is inconveniently far from you, see if said owner is willing to take your order via phone and send it to you. You'd be surprised how accommodating people in the crafting and sewing world can be.

It all really comes down to having to form a community. I know finding multiple small stores is a lot less convenient than Joannes. But forming a relationship with a local supplier will, in the long run, yield you much better results AND put money and good back into a community near you.

(And if you're in the NYC area DM me and I'll put you in contact with Abdul. He's the absolute best and I'd do anything to help him and his business grow!!!)

[elodieunderglass]

I have a confession. I have been reading “Throw Your Heart Over” completely incorrectly. Or maybe this was your intention? I have not been reading these words in this order as “throw your heart over the fence, and your horse will follow” but as “throw your heart over [something undefined], the fence and your horse [together, acting as a subject of this independent clause] will follow.” Am I illiterate tumblr user elodieunderglass

(jockey OC Killie's book is going to be called Throw Your Heart Over, in reference to the advice given for jumping over scary fences on a horse: "throw your heart over the fence and your horse will follow.") Oh that's so interesting! thank you for sharing it with me! It's meant to be this one:

Step 1: remove your heart Step 2: throw it over the obstacle Step 3: jump over the obstacle with your horse Step 4: regain heart The saying "throw your heart over, your horse will follow" is about a couple of different things. One is that a trained horse (an anxious animal) places a lot of confidence and faith in their rider, willingly surrendering control of their body, mind and instincts, because they agree that you're a better manager of those things. Horses are incredibly sensitive, and horsegirl powers involve having exquisitely fine-tuned nonverbal communication. To reassure the horse, it's important that you be confident. by throwing your (own) heart over, you have already committed your own self; it's already done; you've surrendered and are peaceful; you haven't even jumped it but you're already over; now you just have to pop over and reclaim your heart. Ideally you will naturally shift in posture and intention after you've thrown your heart, and your mind will go clear and easily readable by the horse. Ideally your eyes will naturally look at the imaginary point where your heart went. Your horse will pick up on this, sensing that you know what you're doing, and will therefore - ideally - naturally follow your heart. It's also about not worrying about the thing in front of you, but focusing on the outcome. It's also about how - much like driving a car or steering a boat - you don't stare at what's happening immediately in front of you. A novice cramps themselves in, staring frantically at what's under their nose; an experienced pilot looks at a point farther away, which is the time and space that has the information you need to process. You don't look at the car's hood or the boat's bow, or the fence in front of you. Based on your speed, there's a space in the middle distance that you need to actually watch and react to. Everything under your tires/hooves/prow has already happened. It's someone else's (boat, car, horse) job to process that part.

Knowing this, “throw your heart over [something undefined], the fence and your horse [together, acting as a subject of this independent clause] will follow" is an interesting one. Because the heart is now going somewhere undefined, it kind of implies that you are now throwing over your heart (throw over: refuse, reject, decline, pass up, throw out, turn down, ignore, pass; to end a relationship). Once your heart is rejected, then everything else (obstacles, horse) follows... either you, or the lost heart. What an interesting take that I wouldn't have thought of before! Thank you for sharing it with me!

[hanginginthevoid]

Privilege of Flight

pairing: bob reynolds x fem!powered!reader

summary: you can fly. valentina needs a flying avenger. after a too good to be true deal, you end up an avenger. because you don’t want 5 people riding you into the sun, you make it a priority to teach bob how to fly so he can share the burden.

a/n: Takes a bit to get to the part with bob but please stick w me, I like a lotta meat on my stories. i’m still easing back into writing and figuring out bob’s character, but im happy w this. reader has cosmic powers derived from the stars!!

warnings: ooc bob? i can’t think of anything else

word count: 4.2k

--

Valentina Allegra de Fontaine has been on your ass recently. She's calling as close to nonstop as possible. She's found your instagram, tiktok, and even your pinterest, and messaged you on all three. 

In what world would she think this would attract you to picking up the phone? 

In all honesty, you don’t have anything against her. Everybody has to get by in this world, doesn’t mean people are gonna take the hard way of being a good person. But if she’s trying to get you to join the dime store avengers, it’s not going to happen. 

It’s your own fault honestly. A fight you were trying to wrap up got into the public eye, and of course the civilians took to pulling out their phones to record instead of fleeing the scene. Next thing you knew, your face was plastered all over the news, ecstatic to have such a powerful being defending the people. But who are you? Who are you affiliated with? And what really are your motives? That’s what really matters to the people. 

After that, you've been trying to lie low. Clearly it doesn’t matter though, Valentina wants you and it's only a matter of time before she comes knocking on your crappy apartment door. Hopefully that fateful night isn’t tonight;  tonight it's time to recharge. 

The smog of the city always blocks the shine from the stars and if it's not the smog it’s humans trying to outshine the stars with their artificial lights. It's unfortunate, but whenever you need to recharge you get plenty of time to yourself and fresh air. 

After about two hours of driving, and another 17 calls from Valentina, it’s time to pull over to the side of the road. You turn off your phone before anything else, and then you pop the trunk, and turn the car itself off. Snagging the fluffy blanket that you keep in your car for nights just like these, you close the trunk and lay the blanket over the roof of the car. Then you drape yourself over it, getting as comfortable as one can on top of a car, then you let the shine absorb into every available limb, recharging the internal battery that your powers stem from. 

The chill of the night and the comfort that you feel from being in your element lulls you into a peaceful, deep sleep. 

–

You can’t believe what you’re seeing when you get up. Well actually. You can, you just don’t want to.

“Ms.L/n. Or would you prefer Starling? Well either way, funny running into you here.” 

After thoroughly assessing her, you respond, “Valentina.”

“You do know the respectful thing to do is to respond when someone reaches out.” 

Valentina just has this way of speaking. It’s so disrespectful, and undermining, but she covers it with this light tone to make it seem not all that bad. 

“When someone takes the stalker approach, I don’t think it's necessary to respond.” At this point, you’ve gotten off the roof of your car and started folding your blanket.

“Well, since you forced me all the way out here just to have a conversation, why don't we at least get coffee? Wouldn’t you like that?” 

And that's how you ended up in some diner that only sees truckers and elderly couples who have been coming for years, with Valentina Allegra de Fontaine. 

You get a stack of chocolate chip pancakes and what's considered the gold standard of diner coffee, while Valentina makes her assistant make her some specialized coffee, and you can just smell the difference in the way the beans were roasted. 

“So. You’ve taken the internet by storm.”

“Not intentionally.”

“Intentional or not! You’ve got all the people on your side. They’re fascinated with you. Y’know I need that.”

“Need what exactly?” You’re eying her suspiciously now, still sipping your coffee.

“I need someone that the people love.” Valentina starts waving her hands around to try and add to the appeal. “Someone who can be the real face of my New Avengers.”

You sigh, it just doesn’t make sense, “You have plenty of people on that team, Valentina. I don’t see wh-”

“All of them are losers. Three super soldiers who could barely lift a rock, one girl who can phase through things, and another who’s got nothing special going on for her. I need a really heavy hitter, and I want it to be you.” 

“And what would I get from this?” 

“Well a solid paycheck for starters. Top of the line technology. A fantastic suit, tailored perfectly to your capabilities. Really, you’d be stupid not to accept.”

After dousing your last bite in syrup, you swirl it around a bit, then lift the fork to your lips and take a methodical bite. Making sure to take plenty of time chewing, then a long last sip of coffee, you lick your lips before responding, “I want floor length windows in my room. And a signing bonus of 100k.”

“Done and done. Pack up that raggedy apartment of yours and we will be seeing you Monday morning bright and early at the tower to get you all settled in!” Valentina claps her hands together before sliding out of the booth and leaving you behind to contemplate the weight of your decision. 

The weight lifts when you get the notification of a hefty deposit into your account.

–

Valentina texted you that you would not need any furniture, and she would be supplying you with the most comfortable bedroom set. So you’re traveling light, only a couple of duffle bags along with a backpack. The elevator takes a surprisingly short period of time to get you to the top floor, however when it opens you just want it to go straight back down.

Bucky Barnes, John Walker, Yelena Belova, and some guy with shaggy hair are all looking at you with curiosity. 

“So Val really went and got us a flier. I see how it is, tired of all the punching and shooting.” Yelena sizes you up as she speaks, it feels like she's looking into your soul.  “Well, c’mon then. I’ll show you your new super amazing living arrangement.” 

As you’re walking away you hear the Red Guardian shouting, “YES! Now we can ride the new girl into the sun since Bob will not comply!”

After Yelena’s delivered you to your room, she gives you a basic rundown of what all the buttons do and what appliances you have access to straight from your room. After that, she tries to leave and give you some time to unpack, and settle in, but you stop her. 

“What did that guy mean by ‘ride the new girl into the sun’?”

“Alexi is… He doesn’t know when to speak, when to shut up, y’know? Your powers as a whole are going to be a very useful addition to the team. But sometimes we need a faster response to issues, and a flier is really useful for that. We tried helping Bob along with learning how to fly, but y’know we kind of can’t do that without knowing how to ourselves.”

You shift from side to side while processing this information. “Well, I could try? I already know the basics and then you guys don't have to ride me at all.”

“I’ll let Bob know, let me know if you need anything.” And then the door is shut and you’re left to your thoughts. 

‘Ride you into the sun’ is just a crazy thing to say. Even if you need a fast response, you’d rather do it yourself. You start putting things into drawers, making the bed, and placing a few trinkets around the room to try and make it feel more like home. 

You probably should get some team bonding in. They all already know each other, you’re fresh meat. And it’d be really good to actually know everyone a little bit in case of a threat or a routine mission pop up. Instead you fidget with all the gadgets that come with your room until the sun starts to set. You’ll give it to Valentina, she gave you a great room to watch the sunset from. Probably the worst one for your powers but she wouldn’t care to know that. 

–

You’ve been at the tower for just under two weeks, and every time you try to talk with Bob he curves you. Half of the time you’re just trying to get to know him! Any sort of acknowledgement of his existence leads to him finding the closest exit, person, or activity that he can find just to avoid a conversation. 

The clock has barely struck 4 in the morning when you see him. Bob is sitting on the couch, lamp to his left switched on to the softest setting, and a blanket around his shoulders. He’s doing something with his hands, but from this angle you can’t tell what it is. 

You clear your throat so that you don’t startle him. Bob flinches a bit anyway, before looking up at you. 

“Oh hey.. I didn’t think anyone else was up, sorry.” His hands never stopped fidgeting with the object in his lap.

“Nothing to be sorry for. I'm more of a night person anyway.” Inching forward, you make a move towards the windows, basking in the last bits of starlight. 

“Because of your powers.. Right?” Bob’s turned himself sideways, you think it's to get a better look at you without making it so obvious.

“Mhm, the stars help me to do a lot of things.” 

“Like what?” 

Maybe Bob is just a night person. “I can shoot blasts of cosmic energy, either singular blasts or like a pulse of them. I could move people or buildings with my mind. All of my senses are heightened,” You turn to face him instead of the skyline, “as well as my speed and strength.” 

You’ve faded now, and Bob’s eyes go wide, “ I can go into the shadows and pop out wherever I please as long as the shadows connect.” 

Now you’re in front of him on the couch, “And.. I can fly.”

“That’s.. A lot. You can do all of that from the stars?” 

“Yup. Some scientists I worked with have a theory that I could even control the stars if I wanted. Like waking them up, or maneuvering them into different spots in the solar system.”

“That's awesome.” Bob went back to fidgeting with his rubix cube, now that you’ve got a clear view of it, it's easily identifiable.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

He’s solving the rubix cube faster and faster. Maybe you shouldn’t push, but you’ve been waiting for this chance for a while now, eager to help out the team. “Do you have any powers?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard all about it. The most recent ‘New York incident’? All me.”

“Sooo, you can fly too then?”

“Not me technically. The other guy.”

“You wanna fly?” Bob looks up at that, pausing his ministrations.

“It’s dangerous if I use my powers.” 

You’re sat criss-cross, and now levitating just a bit above the couch you remind him, “I just said I could awaken a star if I really wanted to, I think you should try with me.”

“You said it was a theory.” 

“Yeah, but it’d be nice to not have to walk all around this giant building right?” The way your eyes are shining in the moonlight, the tiredness behind them, and the earnest look in the downturned smile you’re wearing, wears him down to the point of agreeing with a shy nod.

–

You and Bob don’t end up in the training room for three more days. The first day, Bob was too tired, when you went to ask if he wanted to train you found him napping. Guess you were wrong in assuming he was a night person. The second day there was an official Avengers event to welcome her most recent edition to the team, and after being paraded around all day, you no longer felt up to conversing. But finally on the third day you two were both well rested and prepared to conquer flight.

“Sorry.. Can you just explain it one more time?” Bob’s shaking his hands out, trying to get his anxiety out you’d guess.

 Looking into his eyes you remind him, “It's fine, you don’t need to apologize for anything, Bob.” Then moving to grab his hands and splay his fingers out with his palms facing down you speak slowly, “For me, I just think about where I want to go. In most cases it's up, having your hands like this might help with the mental idea of going up since a lot of older superheroes used this move to propel themselves in any direction.”

Then you start to fly, maybe it’d be considered floating since you’re just a couple of inches off the ground, but everyone has to start somewhere. Bob’s concentrating, you can tell from the way he’s straining his fingers, and using his shoulders to press his arms tightly to his body.

“Remember to relax. Think about things that make you happy. Things that make you forget, even for a second, all the bad things.”

A couple of minutes pass by, but then Bob’s feet are off the ground. Less than yours are, but they’re not touching the ground and that’s all that matters. 

You rest a hand on Bob’s shoulder as a simple way to trigger him into opening his eyes. When he does he’s looking above your head again, a look of confusion flashes across his face, then his eyes shoot downard.

“Im… Doing it?” 

“Yes,” You stifle a laugh at his astonishment, “You’re doing it Bob!”

You grab his hands and give the two of you a little spin, showing him that he really is flying. The two of you are grinning and giggling like two kids who just got away with nabbing the candy from its hiding spot. 

The joy is short lived though. In an instant Bob's feet are back on the ground, and since your hands are still grasping his, he brings you down a bit with him. 

“Damn. Sorry. Didn’t mean to drag you like that.” 

Even though his mood seemed to dampen, you’re still smiling from ear to ear, “All good. You did great, Bob! We can work on getting you higher and able to fly for longer tomorrow if you’d like?” 

But instead of accepting your offer, Bob declines, centering himself again and re-closing his eyes; he lifts himself off the floor again. “So I just.. think about going up and it happens?”

“Sort of! Think about moving every part of yourself towards the ceiling. First your head, then your arms, and legs” 

The idea was for him to slowly gravitate toward the ceiling, lightly bumping his head on it in the worst case. Instead, Bob shoots upwards and crashes into the ceiling, leaving a decent size dent in it. 

“Ow, ow, ow. Not like that I’m guessing?” He’s got flakes of drywall in his hair so you reach up and ruffle his already messy hair, shaking the drywall free. When you’re done you pat it down to flatten and reshape it again, but you miss the way that Bob is staring at you before you back away.

You huff out a laugh, “No, not like that. Try and keep it in the back of your mind to take every movement slow. I’ve got all the time in the world, unless you’ve got somewhere to be there’s no need to rush.” 

His head shakes left to right, negating the fact that he has anywhere else to be. And the two of you go straight back to focusing on the basics of getting up in the air and elevating yourself once you’re airborne. Its like this for hours, until Walker comes to get you both, reminding you how important nutrition is.

–

After a few weeks of Bob and you practicing his flight in the training room, it’s time to take his skills into the outside world. Albeit, he is nervous for the scenario that his powers go haywire in the outdoors, Yelena’s told him not to worry, he hasn’t had a void scare in his entire time training with you anyway.

The two of you are on the roof of the Avengers tower. It puts you in an immediate situation where you need to engage in flight, unless your preference is to plummet to the ground. The moon is shining, but at this height and total lack of light, nobody should notice you and Bob gliding through the sky.

“Where do you want to go?”

Bob looks up at you, a slight furrow to his brow, “Hm? I thought you decided where we would go already.” 

“Nope! Your first time flying outside, you get to pick.”

“I’m not really sure. Can you think of a nice spot?”

You could take him out of the city, flying makes for a fast trip. But that would be more for you than him, Bob probably doesn’t care about the stars all that much. Plus you can’t see the beauty of nature when it's dark out anyway.

“Why don’t we just go up? The lights of the city make for a nice view when you get high enough.”

Bob sounds disappointed when he speaks, “Oh. Yeah that's - that’s fine.”

“Did you secretly have something else in mind?” You’re teasing him, hoping he gives you a bit of insight into his inner thoughts.

“Well, uh. The stars are your thing, and since it's dark out I thought we’d be doing something to see them better. But it's fine! We don’t have to, I’m sure the city is beautiful just like you said.” Bob raised his hands up in defense, waving them around a bit. You just nod, before lifting off the ground and inching away, silently inviting him to join you.

You bring him to Stokes State Forest, it's not too far from the city but it's far enough that the view you have of the stars is just right. Easily, you flip onto your back, allowing you to look at nothing else but them. Next to you, Bob fumbles with getting onto his back. 

Without turning your head you remind him, “It’s like floating, put most of your weight into your waist and balance it there.” Then he’s got it. The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes before you right yourself. 

“Show me your skills Bob! I didn’t drag you all the way out here for nothing.”

Bob rights himself, much more clumsy than you did, having to throw his hands out in an attempt to steady himself. Then he’s zooming around you, doing flips and twisting around himself. He dips down way below, and grabs a handful of water from the lake. Somehow most of the water sticks in his hand and makes it all the way up to you, just for him to splash you with it. 

You start moving with him, twisting and twirling around him in a similar sense. You hear Bob laughing, a real true laugh, before jetting off. 

The close proximity you two have been sharing recently has made you think. Bob is kind, and caring, and he really loves his team. Over anyone they’re his family, his most important people. Despite the challenges he faces with his powers, Bob still made an effort to learn to control his ability to fly. Yeah, maybe you have a silly little girl crush on him. It’ll pass, most do.

He catches up to you, grabs your arms and pulls you into his chest while spinning you around. “You’re going really fast. Am I that big of an eyesore?” 

So he’s got jokes. Two can play at that, “Mhm, the biggest actually. You make me come here, with my one true love, and expect me to stick around you?”

Bob laughs along with you before falling back to resume floating on his back. He lets you go from his hug but he still has a grip on your hand to keep you close, it makes your heart flutter.

You turn your head, hoping to make eye contact with the deep blues you’ve gotten used to seeing, “Wanna see something cool?”

Bob nods, not sure what you could be referring to. Reaching your left arm out, as to not stop holding Bob's hand, you focus on drawing out the raw strength that each and every star in your view has to offer. You’ve practiced this a handful of times since the first time Bob mentioned it just being a theory, so you can hold it for about 30 seconds now. And for those 30 seconds, the sky is brighter than it's ever been, each star glows brighter than ever, their very slight hues all the more visible like this. Then it's over. 

You look over at Bob but he’s already looking over at you. “Wasn’t it beautiful?” 

He’s nodding along, “Yeah.. The most beautiful.” You missed that he only looked at the stars for a few seconds, and spent the rest of the time looking at you. He can’t believe how patient you’ve been with him. How much faith you had in him from the very beginning. He hopes after this you won’t stop giving him so much attention, that he can still be in your orbit. 

Walker told him to make a move, that you wouldn’t reject him. But it's Walker we’re talking about, and he’s not exactly the person Bob would want to take advice from even if it wasn't on romance. He’s only thinking about it because Bucky and Ava were in the vicinity too, and they didn’t tell him not to believe Walker. 

He’s mentioned it to Yelena too. He trusts her the most, and she said it’d be fine. She said even if you said no, that you wouldn’t shut him out or make it weird. But how is Yelena supposed to know that? She met you at the same time that Bob met you, and even he isn’t sure how you’d react.

“Hey, Bob?” You aren’t looking at him. Your voice is just above a whisper, like you didn’t really want him to hear you, but the words clawed their way out of your throat anyways. 

“Yeah?” He’s staring at your side profile now. You must have thought it was odd to be sitting here in silence.

“I think- I think I like you.”

“I’d hope you liked my personality. You’ve only been stuck helping me with my powers for-”

“No. Not like your personality.” You turn your head to face his, “Like you, Bob. All of you. The way you take care of everyone in the tower, in the best way you can. The way despite your fears, you learned to master a part of your powers. How when none of the medics are available, you patch up the team, and you make sure to make whoever is the most beat up, their favorite meal. The way that you leave your comfortable spot on the couch to hang out with me near the window when we’re both up during the middle of the night.”

During your rant you drifted from laying on your back to hovering upright, the severity of your statement weighing on you. Bob follows shortly after, not wanting you to feel that he wasn’t taking your confession seriously. 

“I - uh. Didn’t think you paid attention to all of that.” He’s blushing and avoiding eye contact. You actually liked him?

“Of course I did. Out of everyone on the team, I’m closest to you. I seek you out in every room I enter. I look for you before heading to the infirmary after a mission. I make hot chocolate now instead of coffee, just so I have an excuse to bring you some too!” 

You’re no longer holding eye contact, looking at everything but him. The weight of your emotions and the fear of rejection is too much to bear, especially when you know you’re gonna see the look of pity in Bob’s eyes. But since you’re not looking at him, you don’t see the way Bob wets his lips before inching closer. His left hand reaches forward and grabs your right, and his right hand reaches up to move at pushing some hair behind your ear. 

As you look back at him, Bob’s hand moves to cradle your face. His thumb caressing your cheekbone as he speaks, “I like you too. Probably a little bit more than that but who cares.” His eyes go from your eyes to your lips, “I haven’t done this in a while, I’d really like to kiss you though.”

So you lean forward and kiss him. Both of your lips are slightly windburned, but that doesn’t take away from the softness of Bob’s lips, or the warmth that blooms in your chest from having your feelings be reciprocated. Unbeknownst to the two of you, the stars are glowing bright again.

It's nice, you think, having your relationship be started in this way. No prying eyes, no cameras, no whispers through the vents about what the two of you are doing. When you get back to the tower it’ll be a different story, everyone is gonna be able to tell that there was a shift in your relationship, and the questions will be endless. That’s a problem for when the sun rises though. 

Speaking of the sun, you achieved your goal, Alexi can ride Bob into the sun instead of you.

Likes/comments/reblogs are super duper appreciated <3

[casscainmainly]

I think I know why, but could you share your thoughts on why Duke would hate Kate?

My thoughts aren't as clear-cut as usual on this subject tbh, and in canon Duke gets along fine enough with Kate, so this is very much just me! The biggest obstacle is Kate's military background - though not a cop, she's authority-adjacent, and a LARGE part of her story is about the military and her belief in the code. Kate frames her superheroics through the idea of military:

Detective Comics #860

This is different from, say, Dick, who although he was briefly a cop, does not funnel his philosophy through a cop lens. But for Kate, the military is what she grew up in, what she aspired to be - the Bat symbol is a way for her to serve. There is no untangling Kate from her belief in the U.S military and authority in general; in Detective Comics (2016), for example, she is very much The Leader of the team. This kind of authority (and Kate's belief in it) is antithetical to Duke's ideals, and I do not believe they'd work well together.

Of course the events of Detective Comics (2016) would drive a wedge between Kate + Duke too. When Kate kills Basil (to protect Cass and the city), Luke sides with Kate while Cass sides with Bruce against them. Based purely on who's on each side, Duke would side against Kate; based on his own philosophy, I think he'd see the killing as militaristic and, well, cop-like. Duke doesn't have the depth of anti-killing code that Bruce and Cass do, but he's very much pro-rehabilitation, and I do think police violence and the consequences of anti-Blackness underlie his own aversion to killing.

But Duke and Kate also have lots in common! Honesty is a huge part of their characters - it's what gets Kate kicked out of the military, because she refuses to compromise on her identity. This is something Duke would respect a lot! Kate, in turn, would like Duke's straightforwardness. They both highly value family, too. But I don't think these similarities would negate how fundamentally opposed their codes and upbringings are.

Actually their interaction in Detective Comics #952 is very fun:

"You're telling me" is a peak Duke line omg. But anyway, even from this short interaction there's some tension here: Kate in the first panel indicates that the cops tonight are different from usual, and Duke rebuffs that immediately; then in the next one Kate is the one rebuffing Duke. They are on different wavelengths, not outright hating each other but not fully liking each other either. It's different from normal Duke haterisms because I think there's less of a chance Duke & Kate would ever see eye to eye.

Caveat that I'm nowhere near well-read on Kate so this might all be wrong, but it's certainly an interesting relationship to think about! And also read Batwoman: Elegy!!

[squoxle]

[11] YOU’RE MINE ~ K. HJ

jealous!fwb!hongjoong x drunk!fwb!reader

plot: jealous after seeing another guy flirt with you, hongjoong, makes it his business to claim you as his... | wc: 2.4k | cw: minor angst, drunk sex, smut,

To describe your relationship with Hongjoong, plainly, the best description would be that you hate each other but you love fucking each other and outside of that there isn’t really anything else.

That might sound terrible, but that was the glue to your situationship that started after he experienced a rough break up.

Though, you had developed feelings for him, you buried them within the depths of your soul to keep from getting hurt. He never showed any interest in commitment and you wouldn’t dare make a fool of yourself by confessing your feelings for him like an idiot.

Either way, you always felt confused when he would show signs of possessiveness. Anytime you’d start talking about a guy you found attractive or when some stranger would hit on you, there he was, giving you a smug look.

He'd stir up a storm, changing the topic or ripping you away from the situation like a jealous boyfriend only to remind you later that, “This is all just for fun, y’know that, right?”

Hearing that hurt more than you dared to admit. In the beginning, it wasn’t so bad, but after almost 4 months of this emotional torture, you’d had enough. Tonight was his chance to prove to you if he was serious or not.

It was Friday night, the end of the week, and the perfect time to stay out all night clubbing. You made sure to wear the skimpiest, sexiest, black mini dress that was almost too high. You slipped into a pair of heels you planned on kicking off for the first guy to sweep you off your feet.

Even though you showed up alone, you knew that's not how you'd be leaving. Whether it was Hongjoong or a random stranger, after tonight, you would know for sure what it was that he wanted. No more confusion, no more questions.

You took an Uber to the club for two reasons. One, you didn't feel like driving, and two, you didn't want to leave your car outside at a club overnight. You walked inside, not surprised to see Hongjoong raving at the bar, taking shots from some random girl's tits.

You rolled your eyes as he didn't even notice you walking in. You walked to an empty table, scoping out the dance floor. It wasn't long before you ordered yourself a small glass of water, just something to sip on before you got ready to break a sweat.

"What's a beautiful girl like you doing sitting here all by yourself?" you looked up from your drink to see a handsome stranger. He was definitely taller than Hongjoong but looked around the same age.

You could smell the liquor on his lips as he hung over you. You smiled, tucking your hair behind your ear as you lazily stirred your drink with the opposite hand.

"You're more than welcome to sit down with me if you like," you smirked as he matched your expression. "I'd love the company."

"I'd rather see you out there on the dance floor," he leaned closer, whispering in your ear as the loud music surrounded the two of you. "Dancing right next to me."

"Hmm, I don't know," you hummed.

"What? Do you have a boyfriend or something?"

"Maybe I do," you raised an eyebrow. "Or maybe I don't," you tilted your head to the side. "I don't think you care either way," you smiled.

"Sooo, is that a yes?" he chuckled nervously.

"Yeah," you nodded. "Let's dance," you grabbed his hand as he led onto the dance floor. Strobe lights flickered around you. The smell of sweat, liquor, and ecstasy filled the air as he turned your body away from him.

You grinded against him as he held his hands on your hips. You swayed left and right as you felt his breath on your neck. You raised your arm to wrap around his head as his lips left soft kisses on ur shoulder.

Though you enjoyed the thrill of new people, you desperately craved Hongjoong’s heart. You wanted him to want you as bad as you wanted him.

“Hey! I’m gonna go get a drink,” you shouted over the thumping club music.

“Okay! I’ll come with you,” he hollered back, grabbing your hand as you weaved through the crowd of entranced intoxicated bodies.

“Hello~” the bartender hummed as he whipped in front of you. “What can I get for you two tonight?”

“I’ll have whatever she’s having,” the guy smiled.

“Alrighty,” the bartender nodded. “What’ll it be for you, Miss?”

“I’ll take an espresso martini with an extra shot of simple syrup,” you smiled. “I like it sweet.”

“Okie dokie, and is there anything else I can get for you tonight?”

“No, that’s all. I just need a little picker-upper,” you reached into your mini bag to pull out your phone.

“Oh no, I’ll pay,” the stranger smiled as he handed the bartender a $50. “Keep the change,” he nodded.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you smirked.

“I know, but I wanted to,” he sat next to you as the bartender worked on your drink behind the counter.

“Okay, well now I feel like I should get to know a little more about you. How about you tell me your name, that way I don’t come up with one for you.”

“Come up with one for me? What do you mean?”

“Like a nickname.”

“Hmm, what if I like the nickname you give me,” he smirked.

“You want me to call you Fifty?”

“Huh? Why hold you call me that?”

“Because who in the hell would drop fifty dollars on two cheap ass martinis?”

“Hey, these may be cheap, but they’re delicious. Especially when I make them,” the bartender smiled placing your drinks on the counter in front of you. “I even added some extra cold foam.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a bit at his remark. “Well I’ll have to see for myself,” you smiled, taking a sip of the cool caffeinated drink.

“How is it,” he asked, clenching his teeth into a nervous smile. You could tell he was anticipating your response so you decided to tease him a bit.

You paused for a moment, clicking your tongue before glancing down at your drink. You licked your lips where you felt the foam stop and looked up at the barista. “You’re right, it’s very good. Probably the best I've ever had," you smiled.

"Definitely, the best you've ever had," Fifty winked as you sipped from your drink again.

"I'm glad you like it," the barista tapped the bar before standing up straight. "As much as I'd love to stay over here with you guys, I'm the only guy staffed tonight and i have some rather unpleasant guests requesting my services," you looked over to see the rowdy bunch he was referring to before Fifty blocked your view.

"We should hang out more often. You seem like an amazing person. And you have great taste," he extended his glass in your direction, waiting for you to clink your glasses together.

"You're not too bad yourself," you smirked before tipping the glass to your lips.

You lowered the glass, fixating your gaze on your unexpected date after taking a sip, only to be met by Fifty’s thumb, gently swiping the top of your lip.

You felt your face warming up as he locked eyes with you. Not a moment passed before he pulled you in for a kiss. You hummed as you felt his tongue wrap around yours. The kiss was wild and sexy, you could feel the desire all over him as he held your face in one hand and explored your body with the other.

You were overwhelmed with feelings of ecstasy. Nothing could stop you from going all the way in this moment. Surprisingly, Fifty had managed to take your mind completely off Hongjoong, your whole reason for getting things started with him anyway. That was until, he rudely reminded you of his existence.

“Hey! What the hell is going on here?!” Hongjoong shouted, pushing Fifty off of you and pulling you behind him.

“Sorry, but who are you?” Fifty asked. You could tell he was irritated, but he didn’t want to make a scene.

“I’m her boyfriend, Asshole!”

“Look buddy, I thought she was single, I never would’ve made a move on her otherwise,” he walked forward and placed his hand on Hongjoong’s shoulder.

“Go fuck yourself,” Hongjoong spat, shrugging his hand away. As badly as you wanted to bring up the girl from earlier, you could tell that he was already pretty upset and you didn’t want to add to the fire.

This is what you wanted, isn’t it?

Hongjoong wrapped his arm around you as he guided you to the back of the club. You mouthed the words “sorry” to Fifty as you left him behind. Surprisingly, the look he gave you was more comforting than you expected. He shrugged slightly mouthing “it’s okay” as you trailed out of sight.

He brought you into a dimly lit single-stall bathroom and locked the door behind you. He pressed you up against the door immediately after he twisted the lock. He grabbed your wrists, pulling them together before lifting them above your head.

There was something about this position that made you feel completely vulnerable to him. When he held you this way, everything was exposed to him, and his tight grip reminded you just how much control he had in this moment.

"What were you trying to do out there, huh?" he asked, leaning close to your neck, clamping down on the soft flesh as you whined from the sensation of his teeth digging into your skin.

"Ah-I-" you struggled to form a coherent sentence as he sucked on your neck, gripping your tit in his free hand.

"Were you trying to make me jealous?" his question hung in the air for a bit. "Because it definitely worked," he smirked, pulling your dress up over your tits. He left marks all over your tits as he toyed with your wet core. You squirmed as he stimulated your clit, he was definitely enjoying marking up your entire upper body, but you could tell that he wanted more.

He released his grip on your wrists before dropping to his knees. He pulled one of your legs over his shoulder after ripping your panties off. You moaned as he closed his lips around your pussy. You felt his tongue inching its way into you as he rubbed his thumb against your clit.

He wasn't there for long, though. He gave you just enough to get you started. He stood to his feet again, unbuckling his pants as he kissed you. You kept yourself busy, inserting two fingers into yourself, humming as he pushed his tongue past your lips.

"I'm gonna make sure you don't forget who you belong to," he whispered before lifting one of your legs. You gasped as you felt his stretching you open. You looked down to see his length gliding into you before he covers your mouth.

You let out a muffled groan as he bit your neck, gripping your ass as he pumped into you. You'd had rough sex with him before, but this was unlike any other time. You panted as he moved his hand away from your mouth, readjusting his grip on your body as he fucked you.

You combed your fingers through his hair, pulling it back to see his face as he fucked your sloppy cunt. He caught your sleazy gaze, taking a slight breath before lifting you completely off your feet.

You gasped as you felt yourself inch slightly down the door. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he pressed your body against the door. Your body trembled as he fucked you faster in this position, and with your legs up like this, your pussy was tighter than usual.

You couldn't control the moans that escaped your lips as you felt your walls flexing around him. "That's it baby," he hummed as you were nearing your climax. "I wanna get you off right before I fill you up," he smirked.

"Wait, but," you choked on your words as he slammed into you. "You're not wearing a condom," you winced as he began to suck on your neck, clamping down hard enough to leave teeth marks.

"I know," he smiled, kissing the spot where his teeth were. "Don't worry. I'm just gonna make sure you're mine," he hummed, slipping one of his hands between your legs to stimulate your clit as you came all over him.

Your legs were still shaking as he filled you with his cum. Surprisingly, it was so much that it dripped out of you as you clung to him. He let you down slowly, one leg at a time, as you found your balance. He softly patted your head before kissing your cheek.

"I wish I could've came inside of your pretty mouth," he smirked, gliding his thumb across your bottom lip as he gently held your chin.

You were speechless. Not a word came to your mind, and not a word came out of your mouth. You blindly reached down to wipe the trail of cum from your thigh before looking back up at him.

He took your two fingers and put them into your mouth. "I guess that'll have to work," he chuckled.

As you were leaving the bar with Hongjoong you felt something graze your arm. You looked back to see Fifty handing you your handbag. "Wouldn't wanna forget this," he smiled warmly.

For a second it felt like time had stopped. You couldn’t believe that he was still here. Still waiting. For you…

You quickly nodded in his direction, careful not to draw too much attention to yourself. You didn’t want Hongjoong getting all riled up again.

Time started ticking again, and you became aware of the blaring music that surrounded you. His words replayed in your head. The way his voice was so gentle. He was so different from the rowdy, bad boy, douchebag you had come accustomed to.

“Would wanna forget this,” you heard again…

He was right...everything was in that little bag. Your phone, your lipgloss, your ID, your money, and one more thing that you didn't find until you made it home...

His phone number...

𝒦𝒾𝓃𝓀𝓉𝑜𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉

❀ Thank you all so much for reading! Make sure to check out other works on my masterlist!

@chlorinecake

@wonbinisbabygurl

@nishiimuranights

@wildflowermooon

@heeseungshim

@ramyeonzprincess

@bangchans-gf5

@wand3rlustm3

@heeseunghee7

@norihoyeon

@gacktsa

@mimikittysblog (had to add my baby girl)

[wannabanauthor]

I think I would be less angry at Buck

If he talked about his hesitation to get back with Tommy. While Buck screwed things up after the hookup, Tommy was the one that broke up with him.

Maybe he's too scared of screwing up again and driving Tommy away for good. But he's not saying that. He's just doing nothing.

He wants to get back together with Tommy but makes no effort to do so. And he doesn't give a reason why. Or the narrative so far hasn't explicitly said it.

I understand that Buck now has bigger issues than his love life, and he does deserve time to figure himself out and create a new life without Bobby.

So logically, his thing with Tommy is the least of his worries. I can understand if the narrative takes a while to bring Tommy back. But Bobby's death didn't happen in a vacuum.

It came after the breakup and hookup. And Buck hadn't made any effort to fix things with Tommy before Bobby died. He acknowledged that he needed to call and apologize, but then he did absolutely nothing except ask Tommy for a favor.

Even when Tommy said that he was helping for Buck too, Buck still said nothing. And that's the part that irritates me. It looks incredibly one-sided even from a shipper's POV. I can imagine Tommy is thinking the same.

I think maybe Buck forgot that he hasn't told Tommy about his feelings. But that wouldn't make sense either. He knows what he said that morning after and has done nothing about it. He asked Tommy for a favor and thanked him for doing it. That's it.

At this point, I feel like he doesn't even care but claims he does. He never talks to Tommy about their issues, but he'll talk to everyone else and jump the gun. Is he waiting for someone to give him permission or something?

I just hope that he realizes that Tommy is not going to wait around for long. He's in his early 40s, and he wants something serious with someone who is serious about him. Buck isn't that and isn't even trying to be that.

Maybe Buck hasn't realized that he hasn't given Tommy something to wait for. I think the best thing for Season 9 is for Buck to see Tommy dating other people. But then again, Buck might still be stupid and do nothing about it. And it doesn't even match how he was with Tommy in Season 7. In season 7, he made more of an effort, apologized and everything.

This past season he just bitched and moaned about a situation he created but never fixed. Tommy has no reason to reach out to him. Buck's going to take too long and end up losing Tommy for good.

I bet you that Buck won't even mention Tommy in the first few episodes of Season 9. By the time he remembers that Tommy exists, it'll probably have been a year since the breakup.

What's worst for us is that us BuckTommy shippers have 4+ months of nothing before the show comes back. Tim and the writers are letting us stew for months with no progress made and betting on us and others coming back to watch the show. Of course, they're not thinking of that, but Tim really has the worst timing.

The breakup happened the same week as the election. Bobby died and then so did the IRL Pope. And now there's been no progress for BuckTommy, so we get to be angry and frustrated the entire summer and probably talk ourselves out of watching the show again.

Again, Tim Minear is not a good enough writer to keep up this will/won't they trope between Buck and Tommy. I don't know if they're intentionally dragging it out or they just lack common sense or writing skills.

I know 9-1-1 isn't the BuckTommy show, and that there are multiple main characters, but the writing for them has been shitty too. Everyone almost dies or goes through the same type of trauma repeatedly. And they pissed off the Bvddies.

Honestly, only a white man could fuck up a show on so many levels and continue to fuck up with no improvements made. Maybe Tim is phoning it in. I don't know.

It just seems like Tim has made so many bad writing decisions that aren't popular with audience, and he refuses to stop and re-evaluate things to make the show enjoyable again.

[bfwooin]

Hiiii!! I hope you've been taking care of yourself!! I don't know if you do multiple characters, but if you do, can I request some romantic headcanons for Poel, Oliver, and Clover please! If you don't do multiple characters then no worries, feel free to do whichever character you want! :3 I hope you have a good day/night!!

tell me what you really like, baby i can take my time.

content. fluffff, slight angst for oliver's part.

a/n. this is my first time writing hcs actually ^_^ i hope u like it anon!

꩜ poel.

— totally a golden retriever boyfriend despite his intimidating appearance.

— god this man is super clingy (in a good way), he can’t leave you alone, even for just a second.

— he loves it when you wear his gold rush crew hoodie. it’s an indirect way of showing others that you’re his, and the way you’re surrounded by his cologne drives him insane.

— super bold when it comes to skinship, he loves feeling you – your soft thighs, your smooth hands, your squishy cheeks – you’re a human-sized stress ball for him.

— speaking of skinship, he loves the sensation of your hands feeling his buzz cut. it’s like a massage in a sense.

— chatterbox. and i mean that. he loves to yap, especially about the most irrelevant things on earth.

— like what do you mean he told you that he timed himself eating a chipotle bowl for fun, and that the time recorded was three minutes?

— matching his energy is a must.

— he’s teasing you? tease him back, maybe even trace his arm with your finger while you’re at it. he’ll fold in an instant and remember why he fell in love with you in the first place.

— loves showing off his bike tricks and stunts to you. he expects nothing but praises and headpats for his skill.

— whenever he finishes training, he’ll always call you up and meet him for impromptu food dates.

— the both of you definitely have matching tattoos, maybe something related to poker.

— after all, you’re his queen of spades.

꩜ oliver.

— he’s soft spoken around others. but with you? you’re the only one who gets to see his real personality (other than clover).

— when he falls in love, he falls hard. so please, treat him and his fragile heart nicely!

— though if you do leave, the poor boy would be so caught up in wondering what went wrong, and even blame himself for the break up :( but let’s not talk more about that.

— obsessed with hugging you. you’ll always find his hand sneaking around your waist to pull you close, though only in private as he isn’t the biggest fan of pda i fear.

— believe it or not, this guy is actually so cheeky. he indulges in your cute reactions and painless retaliations whenever he teases the hell out of you.

— let’s say you want to hold his hand. you reach out, planning to grab him, but he notices what you’re trying to do and moves it away intentionally.

— god, the both of you look stupid, shuffling in the bed and moving your hands messily as he earns a frustrated whine from you, while you’re merely met with his small smirk of success from seeing you react this way.

— but in the end, you’re cradling in his arms as his chin rests on your head. and yes, you’re the little spoon.

— matching polo ralph laurens for sureee. kind of cheesy, but the both of you look extra cute on your date nights when you end up wearing the same colour as him; it’s a happy accident.

꩜ clover.

— this girl is such a cutie, how could you not fall in love with her when you visited oliver’s house and saw her for the first time?

— she proudly displays all of the plushies you have either bought for her, or caught for her in a claw machine, on her bed.

— the both of you even picked out names for them together.

— talking about plushies, the two of you have matching jellycat keychains!

— she’s really expressive about her feelings, basically wearing her heart on her sleeve. she's either pouting when she’s upset, or even tearing up at the most minor inconveniences.

— but you’re too in love with her to fixate about her insignificant faults that she finds world-collapsing worthy.

— you’re her haven that she seeks as you spoil her with cuddles and headpats to soothe her heart.

— the both of you definitely have study dates, and you’re extremely supportive of her journey of pursuing biotechnology.

— as you’re writing your thesis while she’s cramming definitions, you accidentally brush your leg against hers underneath the table.

— and damn, the way she’s got you absolutely flustered when the both of you look up and meet each other’s gaze.

— your eyes laid upon the most beautiful smile there is to ever exist.

[sissylittlefeather]

Kink Madness: Round 14

Cum Play vs Aftercare vs Foot Worship

This matchup has 3 challengers because Round 12 was a tie! Let's see who gets to take on Walter G and Size Kink for the Title!

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, smut, in one of them Elvis is angry and he gets a bit rough with the reader, but it's all consensual

Cum Play: EOT Elvis

Elvis is mad. And not just, like, yelling mad. He's kicking tables and screaming mad. When he gets back to the suite you're sharing, his hair is wild and he takes off his glasses and throws them at the wall as hard as he can. You raise your eyebrows as they shatter onto the carpet.

“Elvis…”

“FUCKIN’ COLONEL. PIECE OF SHIT MOTHERFUCKER.” He kicks over an end table and sends everything on it flying. You sigh and look at the stuff on the floor. This is not the first time you've seen him in a rage like this.

“Elvis.”

“FUCKIN’ FATASS BASTARD.”

“ELVIS.” He stops and turns to look at you, nostrils flared as he seethes.

“What?!” You don't even flinch and it's not lost on him. You're the first girl he's ever known who hasn't cowered in fear when he gets like this. Maybe it's the way you were raised, but you get more steady as he gets more turbulent. Right now, you're so calm you could perform brain surgery.

“What do you need?” You ask him, not quietly, but not aggressively either.

“Need?! I don't know. Fuck!” He turns and throws an ashtray at the wall and then drops into a chair, hands in his hair. You walk over to him, not carefully, smoothly.

“Fuck is right. That's what you need.”

“What?” He looks up at you with his eyebrows screwed up in confusion.

“You need to fuck. Me. Right now.”

“What? No? Baby, have you lost your ever-lovin’…” But he trails off as you stand in front of him and start to undress. Once you're naked, you bend over and put your hands on his knees.

“You need this negative energy out of you. I'm gonna fuck it out.” He opens his mouth to protest, but goes silent as you turn and walk away from him to the bed and then climb onto it on all fours. “Come on, daddy. Show baby how mad you are.”

He grunts as you wiggle your naked ass at him. Then, he's on his feet, shedding layers as he walks towards you on the bed.

“I'm pretty fuckin’ mad, baby. I don't think you know what you're doin’ pokin’ me like this.”

“You think I'm scared of you? Scared of big bad daddy with his bad temper?” He slaps your ass with one of his big hands and squeezes it.

“Stop it, baby.”

“Make me.” You lean down on your arms so that your glistening pussy is right in front of him. He growls and pushes his fingers into you up to the rings.

“Make you? Make you?” He slams his fingers in and out hard and you whimper with the mixture of pain and pleasure.

“Yeah, daddy. Show me how mad you can get.”

“Show you? I'll fuckin’ show you.” He growls as he pulls your hips back to him gruffly. You bite your lip as he teases your entrance for a second before he slams his whole aching cock into you.

“Oh!” You let out a little moan as he starts to pound into you.

“I'll show this little pussy just how mad I am.” He speaks under his breath, but you can hear him.

“Louder, daddy. I wanna hear you.”

“Fuck. You don't want this, baby.”

“Don't tell me what I want! Harder!” He groans loudly and squeezes your hips so hard you know there'll be bruises in the morning. You curse under your breath as he drives into you with so much force you lose the ability to think straight.

“Don't… fuckin’... tell me… what to do…!” He punctuates each word with a harder thrust. And then, without warning, he pulls out and flips you over, slamming back into you, hard.

“Yes, daddy. Just like that.” You whimper and he reaches down to wrap his hand around your throat. He doesn't choke you, but he grips you with just enough pressure to let you know he's there.

“You like that, you little slut? You like daddy’s cock punishing you like this?” He moans and his eyes roll back as he pounds you.

“Y-yes. I love it, daddy.” He can feel the edges of his release closing in as he slams into you harder than he's ever fucked a woman before.

“Get on your knees then.” He growls, squeezing your throat a little before letting go. You scramble off of him and down onto the floor in front of him. “Good girl. That's daddy’s good little slut.”

And then before he knows what he's doing, he's pumping his cock and shooting cum all over your face. You close your eyes quickly and open your mouth, but he continues to cover your cheeks and lips and forehead. When he finishes, he exhales and steps backwards, spent. He looks at what he's done to you and stumbles over to the bed, sitting on the edge and then laying down. You feel around on the floor for something and eventually find your panties, using them to clean off your face. When you finally blink your eyes open, you turn to see him lying on the bed staring at the ceiling.

“Daddy?”

“I shouldn't have done that.” You lay down next to him on the bed and he wraps an arm around you to pull you in close to his side. He looks down and caresses your cheek with his thumb. “I'm so sorry.”

You look up at him and shake your head. “Don't be. I asked for it.”

“But still–”

“Elvis, you needed to get that out of you. You didn't hurt me.”

“You sure?” His eyes are round and blue and tortured as he looks down at you.

“Yes. Are you still angry?”

“No.”

“Then I did exactly what I was trying to do.”

“Baby…”

“I love you, Elvis.” He freezes for half a second. That's the first time either of you has used that word or even entertained the thought that this could be more than just sex. He thinks about what you just did for him, how you put his needs first, how you're always there for him, and have been, since the start. And then it just comes tumbling out.

“I love you too, baby. So goddamn much.” You smile a little and kiss the end of his nose.

“Whatever you need, daddy. Baby’s here. And I'm not goin' anywhere.”

“Thank you.” His voice is thick with emotion and he leans in, pressing his lips to your forehead. It's a hell of a beginning, but it's yours, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

******

Aftercare: 50s Elvis

“You're sure about this, baby?” He looks down at you with his eyes round and blue, his dark hair falling in his eyes from the passion that led up to this moment. You spread your legs a little wider and nod, determined to put on a brave face despite the butterflies in your stomach. “Because we don't hafta do this. You know I love you either way.”

“I-I want this.” You lift your hand to his cheek and he kisses your palm as you gather the strength to continue. “I love you so much, Elvis. I want you to be my first.”

He sighs and reaches down between you to drag the head of his length through your heat, a soft moan escaping his lips at the feeling. “You stop me if it hurts too much, okay?”

“I will.” You take a deep breath and wiggle your hips a bit. “Okay. I'm ready.”

He inhales, holding it, and then slowly starts to push forward. You do your best to try to relax, but there's a thick tightness inside you that is less than pleasant. He moves like a glacier, watching your face for cues as he presses into you, but the sensation is about to overwhelm him too. It takes everything in him not to just slam into you, but he knows that would hurt you too much. As he moves deeper, it starts to burn and you're shocked at just how big he feels. You squeeze your eyes shut and whimper a little and he freezes.

“Baby, are you okay? Should I stop?” You hear the panic and concern in his voice and pop your eyes open, shaking your head.

“No! No, I'm okay. Don't stop.”

“Are ya sure, ‘cause I don't wanna–”

“Elvis, I'm okay. Please.” He nods again and then resumes moving into you. The stretching pain resumes too and you try your best to keep breathing. You're just about to tell him to stop when there's a sharp pain and you gasp. But then something changes.

“Baby?! I'm stopping.” He starts to slowly pull out and you grab his hips to hold him in place.

“No, wait! I-I-I think I'm okay.” You look up at him and he blinks, his heart racing.

“You sure?” You roll your hips forward and wrap your legs around his waist and he groans.

“Yes. Keep going.” He slides forward again, smoother this time, and fills you fully as you moan softly.

“Is it good?” He asks, his voice still laced with concern.

“Yeah. God, yes. It feels so much better now.” You lean forward and kiss his lips and he smiles against your mouth.

“That's good because you feel so damn good it was gonna be real hard for me to stop. I-I-I'd do it, but it wouldn't be easy.” You giggle and he peppers your face with kisses. “I love you so much, baby.”

“I love you, t– OH!” You gasp and moan as he pulls back and pushes into you again. Your eyes cross a little and he chuckles.

“That good, huh?”

“God. Fuck. Yes.” You groan loudly. He starts to pick up a slow but steady rhythm, grunting with his forehead pressed to yours.

“Yeah. What you said.”

He continues sliding in and out of you, moving a little faster with each thrust. You say a lot more curse words as your breasts start to bounce and he snaps his hips against yours with more force.

“I'm gonna cum, baby. Oh God.” At the last second, he pulls out and pumps himself with his hand, letting his release cover your stomach. When he finishes, he rolls over on his back, trying to catch his breath. “Wazzat good for you too?”

You giggle at how his speech is slurred from the aftershocks of his pleasure. “Yeah, it felt really good. I loved it.”

He turns and looks at you, his eyes warm and soft. Then he realizes you're just laying there sticky and rolls off the bed to get a towel. He comes back to wipe you clean, dabbing your tummy lightly. And then he sees it. There on your thigh: blood.

“Oh God, baby! You're bleeding! Is it–?”

“No. It's not that time. Must be from what we just–”

“I did this to you?!” He pushes your thighs apart gently and touches you so softly with the towel. “Does it still hurt? Oh God. I should've stopped.”

“Elvis, I'm fine! I promise!”

“No. I hurt you. Goddamnit, baby, I'm so sorry.” His hands shake and his eyes fill with tears and the sight almost breaks you. You grab the towel and hold it with your thighs shut and then drag him up to be face to face with you.

“Elvis, look at me.” You grab his cheeks with both hands. “I am okay. It hurt a little, but then it stopped. And a little blood is normal. It's okay. You didn't hurt me.”

“You sure? Because I couldn't stand it if I hurt you. I just couldn't. I love you way too much.” You kiss the end of his nose and he closes his eyes. “I can't believe I took that from you.”

You stroke his cheek with your thumb and sigh.

“I love you too. And I'm fine. It actually felt really good. But Elvis–” He looks at you again. “You can't take something that's freely given. I wanted to give myself to you. I'll never regret that.”

You smile softly and move your hands from his face. He shakes his head incredulously.

“I don't deserve you.” You kiss his lips, smiling with your heart full to bursting.

“Nah, probably not. But I'm yours anyway. Yours, Elvis, fully and completely.” He pushes a strand of hair behind your ear and touches your cheek as you blink away tears.

“Then I'll live the rest of my life trying to be worth it.” His voice is low and soft, almost a whisper. You sniffle and kiss him again, whispering in return.

“You already are.”

******

Foot Worship: Big Daddy Elvis

Honestly, he forgot he had asked Joe to fetch you from the audience after he kissed you during Love Me Tender. So, when Elvis gets back to his suite all sweaty and panting and trying to recover from the show, he's a little shocked to find you there on the couch in your light blue babydoll dress, hair teased to perfection and eyeliner sharp enough to cut glass. It's 1976, and your look is a little outdated, but you've read articles about what he likes, so here you are. Still, you never dreamed he'd actually pick you out of the crowd. You sit on the couch in his suite chewing your cuticle when he comes in, his eyebrows raised.

“Oh, honey, I'm sorry.” You pop up off the couch quickly.

“Should I not be here?” He shakes his head.

“No, it's okay, I'm just… tired… is all…”

“Oh… I can go…” You start to walk past him to the door, but he gently grabs your upper arm to stop you.

“Nah, honey, it's alright. Here, come sit with me.” You settle on the couch together, you nervously twiddling your fingers and him sweating and wishing he'd let you leave. “So, did you enjoy the show?”

“Oh yes! I loved it!” He smiles a little awkwardly and there's a beat of silence. Then, he sighs deeply and covers his eyes with his hand.

“I'm sorry, honey. I'm just really not in the mood for this tonight.” You cock your head to the side a little and really look at him. He's beautiful, that much is true, but he also seems so tired and maybe a little sad.

“What are you in the mood for?” Your voice is quiet and soft, comforting even, and he looks at you a little surprised. His eyes roam over your face and then your body and he smiles softly.

“Just company, honey. You mind that?”

“Not at all.”

Once the expectations drop, you find he's actually really easy to talk to. He also seems pretty pleased to have someone to listen to him. The conversation flows easily and you settle into the couch. About twenty minutes in, you kick off your heels and he inhales sharply.

“What?” You ask with a sly smile, wiggling your toes.

“Nothing. Just– nothing.” His eyes are glued to your feet, though, and you decide to take a chance. You put your little foot in his lap and giggle.

“Oh yeah? Nothing?” He looks down at your pink toenails and tries not to respond too obviously. “You like my feet?”

“Umm, yeah, sweetheart, I-I-I do.”

“You can touch them.” He looks up at you quickly and swallows hard.

“I can?”

“Of course.” You add your other foot to his lap and wiggle your toes invitingly. His hand trembles a little as he takes hold of one of your feet. He runs his thumb up and down the arch and moans softly.

“Such pretty sooties.”

His other hand joins the first in gently massaging your feet and you watch him curiously. It feels amazing and he seems to be really enjoying it, touching you with reverence, almost.

“No one really asks you what you want, do they?” You say it softly, a dull ache rising in your chest for him.

“No. They don't.” He whispers, barely audible.

“What do you want, Elvis?” A small chuckle escapes him as he looks over at you.

“Right now? I want a bath. But I know–” You swing your feet out of his lap and stand up. Then, you turn and walk away from him. He hangs his head, convinced he's offended you in some way, and assumes you're leaving.

The sound of water in the bathroom catches him off guard, though, and he lifts his head, eyebrows pulled together in confusion. You step into the doorway and click your tongue.

“Well, come on then.” A smile spreads across his face as he gets up off the couch and makes his way to you. You offer to leave the bathroom, but he puts his hands on your waist and shakes his head. It takes a bit to get him out of his jumpsuit, but you manage it together. Your dress comes off much easier and before you know it, you're in the bath together, facing each other from opposite ends of the tub. He's got his hands on your feet again and you're talking and laughing as he relaxes into being with you.

“What else do you want? Anything at all.” He's practically glowing with the freedom and it hits you that he might be the most beautiful human you've ever seen. His eyes trail down over your naked body in the water and he gives you a devilish smirk.

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

“Lemme see that pretty little body up close. I'm gettin’ old, y’know.” You crawl across the tub and settle in his lap, straddling him. He starts to run his hands all over you, giving your breasts a gentle squeeze. “Eyes don't work so good. Gotta feel around for stuff.”

You giggle and moan softly as he runs his thumbs over your nipples. It doesn't take long for his hands to make their way back down to your feet, though. He leans forward and presses his lips to your chest while your head falls backwards. You start to roll your hips against him, but there's something so obviously missing.

“Honey, I want to. I really do. But I just can't. I can use my mouth–”

“Is that what you want instead? Don't think about me. What do you want?” You say it without a hint of judgment and he almost cries.

“I just want you close enough to feel. I want you to stay. I wanna feel like you… like…” He closes his eyes as you run your fingers in his hair.

“I do love you, Elvis.” He leans his head forward into your chest and the tears come hot and fast. You hold him there like that for as long as he needs, until his body relaxes and he breathes deep and open, like a weight is lifted.

“You probably think I'm crazy.” He sniffles a bit and moves his hands off of you, like he's giving you permission to get up, but you don't. Instead, you take his face in your hands and kiss each eye, his nose, and then his mouth so gently.

“I think you're beautiful.” You whisper against his lips. He pulls you in tighter, kissing you fully and deeply, his hands holding your body close to his. With one hand on your foot, he moves his other one in between you to make circles on you. You whimper and pull back. “You don't have to do that.”

“I know, honey. I want to.” You bury your face in his neck as his skilled fingers move on you, bringing you to a climax in almost no time. When your body relaxes against him, he kisses your temple. “Stay. Please.”

“Always.”

In the morning, when he has more energy, you’ll make love fully and completely. But for tonight, he's content to slip into bed with you and fall asleep holding your pretty little foot.

******

Don't forget to reblog! Thanks!

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[heartfeltletters-written]

[analysis] the school system in fourth wing

I've decided to reread fourth wing and I have questions and theories that I need to share with my corner of the internet.

This post will include an in-depth (i hope) analysis on the war school system in fourth wing and how all that ties into the country's politics.

a rant no one asked for:

The thousands of twenty-year-olds waiting outside the gate to enter their chosen quadrant for service are the smartest and strongest in Navarre.

First and foremost only the smartest and strongest enter in Basgiath, which implies that this War college is the elite of the elites. There must be thousands of students who never pass the tests, which also begs my first question: where do these failed students go?

The easiest scenario is if Basgiath is the only college in the continent (which for such a big continent seems like a poor choice) does it mean that you either pass the exams or you don't get to continue your education? Ever?

That would prevent a high number of people of getting superior education and acess to knowledge, which is exactly what a fascist regime would do. However the author paints the government as being possible to be reckoned with.

Our main characters negotiate with them over and over again about various aspects, which in my opinion doesn't sound totalitarian to me. It's true that they killed hundreads of people for trying to rebel, which DOES sound facist to me, but during the ongoing canon events they seem like a different government altogether. To me a totalitarian force doesn't negotiate and the only way to end it is to break it. There can be no space for tyranny, or for oppression, and the only way to assure that is to rip its roots, not by negotiating.

But for the sake of everyone's sanity let's ignore that for now, Basgiath wants Navarrian citizens to think "you'll only be sucessful if you go to the military". And they drive their point even further when they reduce the entrance to candidates who are the smartest and strongest. Again to be a part of the elite is anyone's dream come true.

There's also other incentives. We know they promise good pay: Dylan, the guy who dies on the parapet, says "I keep telling her [my mother] that I’ll have better chances for advancement as a rider,". For struggling families Basgiath may seem the only solution, and isn't the King so kind to give good financial compensations to those who decide to fight for their country's honor. The higher the risk, the higher the reward. We also know that this is a matter of pride, just as in the real world when you go to a prestige college you can boast about it. You can use it to show other people how smart and good you are, I assume the same happens in the Empyrean.

This would be an excellent premise if it all didn't unravel by the end of the first chapter.

That's not to add to the fact that there has been no critique on Basgiath except "they let students die" which is not the nuanced commentary we would and should expect, instead that nuance is reduced to: the government is hiding evil soulless monsters for reasons we still aren’t privy to (I digress, that's another post).

Every Navarrian officer, whether they choose to be schooled as healers, scribes, infantry, or riders, is molded within these cruel walls over three years,(...)

Lazy writing and overbearing exposition apart, I want to note that the students, the candidates choose where they'll be going. (this will be important later)

Also important detail is that "Every Navarrian officer" does in fact imply that there's only one war college in the whole country, which is simply wild to me. But with that in mind we now know that everyone who wishes to be a part of Navarre's military forces needs to survive Basgiath, those who can't either die or don't even enter the college at all.

Again those who fail where do they go? My answer would be they go on to do other jobs, non military jobs if you will. We don't actually get an answer to this I don't think. Because Rhiannon's twin sister (enphasis on the twin, they're 20 years old) which is the only person of their age that we know never went to Basgiath is already married with a baby and we don't know what she or her husband do to make money.

On this reread it also stood out to me that Violet calls the college as a whole cruel. So not only is the riders quadrant cruel the rest of the quadrants are also cruel. I wish we got to see more of that cruelty in the books, especially in this first one. We know riders die, that's the whole premise of fourth wing, but what happens in other quadrants? Why are the healers and scribes cruel? These are answers that will never be answered I'm afraid.

I would have been better off failing the admission test to Basgiath and going straight to the army with the majority of conscripts.

Now this is the line that inspired me to make this post because I don't know if I'm stupid or if my english is failing me.

Earlier in the chapter we have established you need to go to Basgiath if you want to be in service. So how and why does Violet failing the admission test equals to going straight to the army?

If by "the army" Rebecca means to refer to the infantry this needs to be clearer to the reader. I've reread the first half of the chapter so many times, to see if I was missing some context clue, but I don't think I am. Rebecca must think that being a soldier in infantry is different than being a rider but when you get to the bottom of it, it really isn't.

Because by all logic Basgiath is a War College meaning everyone in there will belong to the Navarrian army at some point in their lives, that's the goal of studying there. It doesn't matter in which faction of the army you end up in, the only true thing is that you will serve your country whether you're in infantry, riders, healer or scribe quadrant. You're all part of "a bigger" thing.

So again how does failing equal to going straight to the army?

Would Basgiath accept mediocrity?

And even this logic contradicts itself because the infantry is still set in Basgiath. There is no way Violet could fail the entrance test and still join the army. I know Rebecca probably wanted to give the idea that the only promising future as a Navarrian would be going to the army, and by doing that she’d be criticising the system as a whole, and yet she undoes that in the next two pages.

Each of Navarre’s six provinces has sent this year’s share of candidates for military service. Some volunteer. Some are sentenced as punishment. Most are conscripted. The only thing we have in common here at Basgiath is that we passed the entrance exam—both written and an agility test I still cannot believe I passed—which means at least we won’t end up as fodder for the infantry on the front line.

There's a lot to unpack here, so let's start by world building inconsistencies.

If one needs to pass the entrance exam (is it called admission or entrance exam? decide on a name rebecca for the love of god) to study at Basgiath and to be part of the infantry you need to study there, how would Violet failing mean she would become fodder for the infantry?

As established before Infantry is a part of Navarre's army, also remember when I said that the candidates choose in which faction of the army they will serve? (We are not considering those with a rebellion relic here) That choice means nothing if you're just going to end up in Infantry anyway.

If those at Basgiath are "the smartest and strongest in Navarre" how are you going to accept someone who didn't even pass the admission exam to become a part of your military forces? Again does Basgiath accept mediocrity?

On the topic of the Navarre provinces sending their share of candidates for military service I also have questions: Does each province have a quota which they need to fill? How do the canditates volunteer? Is there some sort of paperwork they need to do to show they want to make part of the military? Is the volunteering made public?

I wrote in my notes that each province may have to send in a specific number of candidates depending on how they helped during Unification. In a way, for the whole country to stay together, the King may have decided it would be best for everyone to have representitives in the army. That way lower income provinces wouldn't be slighted and undermined when it came to the entrance exams.

This is in theory of course, there's always the underlining issue of who gets the better acess to information in order to study. Violet grew up in the archives, the acess to information was a book away, all she needed to do was ask her father for a book and she would have it. When it comes to strength training she didn't even need to queue or wait for any tutor, Lilith got her one immediatly after she informed her she'd be going to the rider's quadrant. I doubt many people get acess to private teachers.

On the other hand, when we look at Rhiannon's situation for example, she grew up in a humble home (i'm basing this on the fact that her twin still lives with her parents even after married or at least very close by), we don't have any indication that her village is either big or small, but we can assume that if they do have a library is not nearly as rich as the archives. That puts her in disadvantage from the start in relation to Violet. I also doubt she had a private teacher for her strength training.

Back at the quote I underlined, I still don't know the difference between sentenced and conscripted seeing as the dictionary says both of those mean being forced to serve in the army, highliting obligation. But that could be my english failing.

Conscripted: to force someone to serve in an army or one of a country's armed forces - Cambridge Dictionary

sentence: to decide and say officially what a punishment will be - Cambridge Dictionary

Do those who are sentenced need to pass the entrance exam to be in Basgiath? They could simply fail on purpose to make sure they don't go. How does Basgiath prevent that? To purposefully fail would be seen as an act of rebellion?

Unfortunately I don't have any theories on these last questions.

This is the only quadrant at Basgiath that doesn’t accept conscripts—only volunteers.

To end this post on a positive note I have to send flowers to Rebecca for this. I'm not sure if it was intentional or not but I'm choosing to believe it was.

The quote above refers to the riders quadrant, they only aceept volunteers, which we know to be a lie. The rebellion kids are sentenced to the riders quadrant, but this is a perfect showcase on how propaganda works. If the law/rules of Basgiath forbid it, logically the government would never force kids into the riders or any specific quadrant, they wouldn't break their own law. Candidates can be sentenced and still choose their own quadrant. Which is why Violet is so surprised when Liam tells her they are forced to the riders quadrant: it's unlawful.

[localwebslingers]

Peter couldn't help the grin, even with the residual pain running up and down his leg, "I could stitch my name into it but I don't think it would really go with the rest of the interior." he offered, tone as innocent as he could possibly get it as he glanced at Harry in the driver's seat. That was probably also an understatement, but he did go for the passenger side of the car every time his friend was the one behind the wheel. Which was, admittedly, the more often case when it came to driving through the city. Peter tended to walk, or run, and take the subway, "I would try and get thread that matched the seats if that would help, you know in stead of...I dunno, neon?"

The car was way too expensive for him to actually do it, he knew that without even asking, but it wasn't so expensive he wouldn't still consider the option. Or suggest it.

He gave a slight grimace at the suggestion of calling ahead, "Not really but...it's a good idea. She can start letting everyone else know." and they should know. Sooner rather than later, in case they went out themselves and ran into anything. It just also meant that his aunt was going to start worrying about him sooner than when he walked in the door. She would argue it meant she was prepared for whatever condition he was in when he did walk through the door. At least this way she would know he wasn't too bad off.

For several beats as the car got going, he was quiet and thought it over before carefully leaning forward, "Give me my phone?" the clothes were ruined and useless tatters back in the park, and probably going to raise a lot of questions when they were found by someone in the morning. His phone, however, would have been in tact. Which was good news, it also meant there was no excuse not to, let alone the fact that Peter could just borrow Harry's to call home. He chewed his lip a moment before adding carefully, "She's going to ask about the trap and how you got me out of it, you know." this really, really wasn't how he thought they'd be starting to breach this conversation.

It was going to happen eventually, ideally soon because it didn't sit right that Peter wasn't saying anything to the rest of his pack. Even if it was for the same reason he wouldn't tell Harry who they were, but it would be hard to avoid now. Impossible, even. There had been a trap, Harry got him out of it. As far as the rest of the pack knew, he knew nothing about the other side of New York until recently. Very recently. He wasn't supposed to know about magic, or traps, or let alone how to disarm ones laid by Hunters. There were going to be questions, they weren't the kind Peter would be able to leave unanswered either. Not at this point, "I can try and talk to her about it after you leave if you don't want to but..."

|| @inhcritance ||

So many wouldn't think that pain for months and difficulty recovering was mercy, but Harry knew what lay beyond that. He had seen worse, from both sides, and he had seen innocents suffering and hurt, and the other Hunter would live, even after trying to sacrifice Harry himself to get away with his life.

With it being this personal, he didn't think he could have hated Peter if he'd killed the other. But he hadn't, and Harry was grateful for it. Even if so many would say this had been an undeserved mercy, when he had been laying traps.

But that would matter later, when Peter was safe and Harry could send some messages, and then check on the city himself. For now, what mattered was getting to the car, and as soon as Peter was sitting Harry stashed his cloak in the trunk, then put on a grey sweatshirt that would change his look from 'Hunter who just took off his coat' to something a little bit less concerning, and it wasn't long until he was starting the car.

"Deal." He smiled. "As long as you're alright by then," which he would be, from what Peter had told him, "we both know that's your seat. It's just missing a label." He joked, slightly, as they made their way towards Peter's place.

"Do you want to call May before we show up?" He asked, nevertheless.

@localwebslingers

[honourablepranksinatra]

Maple Leafs discourse on their team social medias makes me lose brain cells because wdym they're first in their division and coming off a 5 game win streak & people are commenting that the top players are only in it for the money and have no drive, that particular players are useless and need to be traded asap, that they're a garbage team, that they'll never make it past the first round just because they lost one game.

Apparently because they are being payed handsomely the players must be mindless automatons who perform perfectly every night. It drives me absolutely nuts how quickly alleged fans will completely turn on their own team.

[niiwa-angel]

As someone who is a licensed Budtender, who uses pot, and has experimented with shrooms before, I support weed and soft hallucinogenics but I think people as a whole need to be smarter about it. People seem to think that because cannabis has medicinal properties that it's the exact same as medicine, and it isn't. You can drive with most cough syrups, you can take Tylenol and still go to work, but you cannot do either of those things under the influence of THC.

The amount of times I had to refuse service to people because they would openly tell me that they were looking for something to smoke WHILE DRIVING was insane. And it was worse knowing that there are plenty of other stores/Budtender out there who wouldn't refuse the sale.

I would also caution people about being careful about where you get your cannabis from. In Canada, we have legal weed, which has inspectors checking quality of growing conditions, mandatory pesticide checks, strength testing, and packaging laws for safety of consumers BUT we also have the Native Reserves, which are exempt from these laws. Lots of people buy their weed out there and I cringe every time because you don't really know the strength, how it was cleaned before it was packaged, if there's anything dangerous in it, they DO sell to kids, and they have vapes that aren't regulation so there could be Vitamin E in the cartridges. Idk what it's like in the States, but you should be careful about where you get your weed from.

whats the radblr opinion on drug usage?

mainly curious because when i first joined radblr, i saw a random post about drugs being anti feminist and i havent seen a single post like that since and now im curious

[rintinningvt]

Started watching the Bayverse movies with my besties and... Are we just too gay for these movies??? Admittedly we only finished the first two and got through a quarter of the third, but the second one was such a drag to sit through at times and it probably doesn't help that we do NOT care about Sam that much. I hope that there is a character arc for him in the rest of the third movie. Because so far he has not been fun to watch in that one. He just comes off as a slight manchild to me, like... I can see why he would be frustrated with where he is in life but the way he acts with others and lashes out does not help him in the slightest. I do have to admit though that seeing him go to Cybertronian Heaven in the second movie was the funniest part for me and my besties lol.

I'll just hope that the other guy in the next movies will be at least a bit more interesting. Doesn't even have to be a good guy, just an interesting guy for me lol

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[lycanthropypersonified]

WARNING: LONG ASS POST!

Wooo! I love these kinds of questions! I’m also not the best at explaining my thoughts/thought process so forgive me if these answers make no sense! I may also be ignorant/misinformed on some topics so forgive me/feel free to (politely) correct me if needed!

1. i saw a carrd about paras. beside the big three, those are just kinks? am i getting this right? why would you choose a paraphilia label if you know you'll probably get hate for that, if you can easily pick a kink label and you'll be safe among adults?

Yes, Paraphilias are technically a type of kink. It is an abnormal (sexual) attraction. However the reason I see a lot of paras choose to not just label themselves purely as kink, is either because they are minors, they don’t want to engage with/cannot engage with the kink community for whatever reason(s), they are Aspec, or their attraction is more than sexual to them. I actually coined a term for this on one of my old (and now termed) accounts! I called it paraferos (romantic paraphilia) and I plan to Recoin it here with a flag and make another term called paraferoila, to encompass both sexual and romantic attraction!! There’s also a big community and history surrounding paras and like you said the big three are an entirely separate thing to most people, which makes the Paraphilia label, culture and community very important.

2. what's your views on big three? i'll be honest, i hate pedophiles and zoophiles, it's obvious reason - they're harmful. i was a pedo victim too, still heavily traumatized. why would you support them? do you actually support them?

Firstly, I’m very sorry that happened, and I hope you can heal and recover if that is what you desire. Secondly, Yes I support them because I think they’re are people just like everyone else, I don’t think they are harmful (most of them aren’t predators as I explained in one of my previous reblogs of your blog!) and I’d actually like to correct you in saying they are as that would be a paramisia-rooted stereotype and incorrect, I’m sure you didn’t mean anything by it and this is just a polite correction. MA (minor attraction) and ANA (animal attraction) aren’t harmful by themselves as liking something cannot hurt someone. Attraction ≠ action and pedophile/zoophile/necrophile ≠ predator/abuser/rapist.

3. if someone's anti radqueer, are they hurting anyone? if yes, then how exactly?

This, imo, is a hard question to answer. The Anti-Radqueer stance isn’t harmful in and of itself, an opinion can’t be harmful (or helpful) unless spread or acted upon, however the actions that a lot of anti-Radqueers take are harmful (not all antis are like this, but a lot are). Even if an anti doesn’t do the bad things that other antis do, being openly anti-Radqueer could come off as supporting those types of actions. I’d say if you want to be anti-Radqueer then make it very clear that you do not support harassment, the intrusion of the Radqueer community by antis, and that this is simply an opinion and not a declaration of support for being hateful towards radqueers; if this isn’t clarified it could drive innocent people into harms way/dangerous situations by subtly encouraging others into (cyber)bullying/(cyber)harassing radqueers.

3.1. what if they're against transIDs? 3.2. what if they're against paras?

Honestly it’s the same thing, state that you’re against harassment and invading the communities, etc. and that it’s just an opinion that no one should be hurt over as long as they aren’t non-consensual hurting others!

4. if someone claims to be transdisabled, transautistic etc, any transcondition - don't you think it's disrespectful to people who actually live through those experiences, don't have any choice and face ableism no matter of how they identify?

No, mainly cause it simply isn’t their business. But also think of it this way, is it disrespectful for a trans women to identify as a women because cis-women/fem presenting people face discrimination and don’t have a choice in that identity? No. It’s just the way they identify. It’s not a choice, and even if it was, clearly this makes them happy so why is it a big deal? As long as they aren’t spreading misinformation or being purposely rude and entitled then I don’t see a problem. Also maybe instead of saying that transids are mocking the discrimination cisids face, we should just get rid of/attack the discrimination instead? Like I don’t see how saying that transids are harming cisids is helping anyone or doing anything productive. People are just finding someone other than the actual oppressors and discriminators to be mad at. Like if we’re being honest with ourselves, the ableists probably (most certainly) hate transids as much as they hate cisids. They do not care if you are cisid or transid they just care that you are different to them and don’t fit the neat little box they want you to. Do you get what I’m trying to say tho? Like transids aren’t really a big problem here. Discrimination is.

5. what does your identity as radqueer mean to you?

I’ll just list the key beliefs that I categorise as Radqueer. I believe that if you identify as Radqueer then you should believe in/be these things:

- pro identities (including system identities) that don’t contradict other beliefs

- pro attractions that don’t contradict other beliefs

- pro bodily autonomy

- pro consensual actions (i.e. consang and conabuse)

- pro fiction

- pro ship

- anti harassment

- anti censorship

- anti non-con

- anti cishateful

- anti harmful transitioning (e.g. transitioning for transhatefuls!) to some degree

I also want to clarify that being Radqueer doesn’t mean you have to accept every being/thing, just that you have to respect and support their identities!

Some more personal beliefs I have are these:

- If somebeing/something can understand the pros and cons of a decision/action then they can choose whether or not to make that decision/action (this is my definition of consent basically)

- most minors can consent (see previous point for what most encompasses) and by extension I support MIK (minors in kink) or at the very least believe minors deserve their own kink communities where they can explore their sexuality!

- minor/adult relationships are valid as long as they are fully consensual (any unhealthy dynamics/toxicity/abuse should be consented to like with any relationship)

- as long as it’s consented to pre-death sexual and romantic relationships with corpses are fine (if the corpse poses a threat (mentally or physically) to the ‘living’ being/thing then as long as they both consent(ed) it is fine)

- pro retaliation/neu retaliation.

For the most part I just block cause I’m to lazy to argue/fight back when I know that at least 80% of the time I probably won’t change the other persons mind and it wont benefit anyone other than giving me a bit of satisfaction. I do support others retaliating tho (and occasionally do it myself) as long as it’s just matching the other persons energy (e.g. they threat to rape you then you respond back with horny shit, they tell you to kys then you tell them to do it first, etc etc.) personally I think you should try at least once to be the bigger person and educate people and be civil, but if someone is being a dick then don’t be soft on them, be a dick back, they obviously deserve it.

6. what's your hard taboos? what/who you'll never support?

pro harassment, pro non-con, etc. basically almost anything that contradicts the beliefs I mentioned previously.

I hope this helps! If you have any questions then hmu in my asks/dms (or reblogs but asks/dms are preferred!)

if you're easily offended, please don't read this post, i can accidentally do just that

i want to learn about radqueers

now, if you chose to click "more" and read further, i want to say i'm anti rq... was anti rq? still am??? i don't know. the thing is, i realized i never really listened to any of you guys, nor have i ever encountered you personally. i think that's wrong, and i want to know more about your views

i don't guarantee i'll change my mind about this, but i promise to stay respectful in discussions. if i say something you find offending, please politely explain this to me, i genuinely don't understand you but want to

you can reply (but i can't reply in comments, technical issues), reblog and add something, send me asks (you can do it anon). please stay nice to me, i'm coming from curiosity here and not judgement

tonetag for all listed questions: /gen

1. i saw a carrd about paras. beside the big three, those are just kinks? am i getting this right? why would you choose a paraphilia label if you know you'll probably get hate for that, if you can easily pick a kink label and you'll be safe among adults?

2. what's your views on big three? i'll be honest, i hate pedophiles and zoophiles, it's obvious reason - they're harmful. i was a pedo victim too, still heavily traumatized. why would you support them? do you actually support them?

3. if someone's anti radqueer, are they hurting anyone? if yes, then how exactly?

3.1. what if they're against transIDs?

3.2. what if they're against paras?

4. if someone claims to be transdisabled, transautistic etc, any transcondition - don't you think it's disrespectful to people who actually live through those experiences, don't have any choice and face ableism no matter of how they identify?

5. what does your identity as radqueer mean to you?

6. what's your hard taboos? what/who you'll never support?

***

thank you in advance. i appreciate anyone who might spend some time to answer