#do you have any idea how much i love The Far Meridian?

[reel-fear]

For the writing request thingy,would you feel like writing something Mandroid or Schloder oriented?

About them alone or as a ship because they have potential as a rare pairing (I might have a bad taste in ships but hear me out/hj)

They can just,,be doing silly coworker stuff like drinking coffee together on a break or something :-))

Sorry if it’s not something you feel like doing!!

I would love to write something like that! I did want to do this so I could do some writing prompts for characters I don't think I'd naturally get ideas for putting in the spotlight! It's not Really ship but it is with both of them so I hope u enjoy! Warning they might be OOC bc well we dont know their characters super well and theres not a lot of content to pick apart n such. And also I only refrenced their wiki articles and my memory for tryna keep em in character so yknow, like I said, might be OOC. Also its not very silly, its very serious if anything oops KJNDSFKGJNSDFGKJNDFGSD-

Schloder could hear every footstep as he and the man designated as 'Mandroid' walked down the halls of GHOST. It was silent inside of the GHOST building most days and the echo the empty metal halls gave every noise didn't help. Not that Jon would ever let a new arrival intimidate him, he was far better than that... He couldn't let his professionalism fade for even a moment. Not with a mission this dangerous or an organization this important... Though with how important it all was... He couldn't help but wonder how on earth such a suspicious or shady man as Dr. Meridian managed to slither his way back into their ranks...

It was beyond his rank to question the hiring decisions of the organization, but it was also hard to ignore the robot arms that Mandroid had attached to himself. He recognized one of them as belonging to the prisoner Hardtop. He wasn't sure where the other one had come from however and he wasn't sure which one unsettled him more.

"It feels... So nice to be back within these walls." Dr. Meridian suddenly hissed, his expression and tone was one of delight, but something about the way he moved through the halls and the look in his eyes made Schloder want to doubt his cheery demeanor...

"It seems GHOST has missed you as much as you missed us." Schloder replied, trying to see Mandroid as nothing more than another coworker.

"You make it sound like you had not missed me while I was gone... That's rather hurtful Jon, I never did anything but disappear for a while. Did that truly upset you so much?"

"You disappeared and suddenly showed up in... this state, I don't think I owe you any kind of explanation until you give me one." Schloder responded, idly flicking some dust off his uniform.

"At least I got you to admit you wanted an explanation." Mandroid continued, looking at his cybertronian hand and curling it into a fist. Schloder watched him do so, his expression not giving anything away but a slight bitterness. He wondered what the man was thinking about as he did it, was it the cybertronians they had captured? Was it the people who kept getting in the way of their operations? Or something else entirely... "But there is not an explanation any better than the one I already gave. After those horrible creatures mangled me I realized they had to be stopped... At any costs... That is the loyalty you feign to the same cause isn't it Schloder? To protect our people at any cost? The real question is why aren't you in my same 'state' if our motivations and goals align so well?"

Schloder took in a deep breath, trying to not let Mandroid weave such a strange narrative. Who knows what he would do if he started becoming confident in such a strange idea. It could only end poorly for both him and GHOST, therefore it was only naturally part of his job that he should shoot it down, swiftly. "That would be an extreme thing for me to do as a field agent, if I suddenly went out doing my job in such a state a lot of people would have a lot of questions. Now more than ever we do not need people asking a lot of questions. There's plenty of bots out there we need to capture and we can't waste time on repairing bad PR. Not anymore at least"

"But if you were in a job that would require the strength of a bot, you would take the same measures I had wouldn't you? You would be willing to give every part of your body in order to protect the people right agent?" Mandroid asked and Schloder hesitated.

He wanted to say yes of course. If it meant protecting the people around him of course he would, but he couldn't quite bring himself to force the words out.

Something about it didn't feel right... Was it the part where he would have to live for the rest of his life taking energon to function? The part where he lost his arms? He didn't think so...

The biggest thing that seemed to turn him away from the idea was the fact he would not just be losing his arms... He'd be replacing them with someone else's...

Of course that person who he took it from would be nothing more than one of their prisoners... A traitor who deserved whatever was coming to them right?

Yes... Yes he would do what Mandroid had done if it was to protect humanity.

But... Would it be worth it if it made him give up some of his humanity? To do something so cruel to another living being?

"Agent, you aren't suddenly having doubts in your duty are you? If you are I would be rather disappointed with your lack of faith in humanity, surely the idea of taking what we need from those... Horrible machines isn't what deters you from answering my question?"

"No... No it is not, it is just a heavy idea, to live the rest of my life reliant on energon and with arms that don't belong to me... It just feels easier to comprehend the idea of dying for the cause." Schloder confidently lied and Mandroid chuckled.

"Ah... I see... Well remember this Schloder..." The other man suddenly put his mechanical hand on the shoulder of the agent, causing Jon to tense.

"It would have been easier for me to simply die after the state those horrible things left me in the hospital. To bleed out, but I knew that my work was not done, not until those things were gone from our home... Your work is not done until they are gone as well... So please understand I will take whatever measures I see necessary to keep you and the other GHOST members alive. If this upsets you... I would suggest finding a different line of work. One that doesn't require such dedication.

After all, none of us have quite earned our rest until our job here is done. So see to it you find me some more bots and soon, unless you want both of us to be here for the next century."

Schloder could hear everything in the empty echo chamber of a hallway. Mandroids cold but rage fueled hiss, the sound of his mechanical parts whirring with every subtle movement he made. The way his heart beat so much harder hearing such ominous and confident words.

The seething hatred that flickered behind Mandroid's existence and the cold resolve that kept him from dying.

Schloder could hear everything.

But it was beyond his rank to think about what he heard.

[rox-and-prose]

I was tagged by @wodneswynn to name ten of my favorite fictional characters and tag ten people. I normally don’t do these but I guess I’m in the right frame of mind today so here goes

Breq (Imperial Radtch trilogy)

Taylor Hebert (Worm)

Contessa (Worm/Ward) (Okay I am limiting myself to those two)

Blake Thorburn (Pact) (I named myself after his reflection for a while)

Noi (Dorohedoro)

Peri (The Far Meridian) ( @thefarmeridian )

Daisy Tonner (The Magnus Archives) ( @themagnusarchives )

Dr Urvidian (EOS 10) ( @eos10podcast )

Gleep (Robert Aspirin’s Myth series)

Phèdre nó Delaunay (aka Our Bisexual of Perpetual Disaster) (Kushiel’s Dart) 

Okay it was really hard to choose just ten lol

Tagging @st-just @thefearofcod @cipheramnesia @ms-demeanor @endreal @helianthus-heart @anais-ninja-bitch @thisisthenightmarescenario @dovahscream @dark-magician-girl-meets-world

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Necromancer reader finding Spamton dead body, if you don’t mind writing that?

I don't mind at all. In fact I'm using this as my excuse to write Salt Route stuff aaeeee

.......

Dark, yet darker.

That was the only way you could describe the state of Cyber World as you ventured through it, passing by empty storefronts and Darkners searching for their loved ones, not even reacting to the presence of a Lightner like yourself.

The sky above no longer glowed with green meridian lines. Everything just seemed so....dead. As though an Internet outage happened all around the Light World. Even the cars and flashy advertisements had vanished, so you were initially worried that was the case.

Though as you started noticing more and more dust piles scattered around, you began to wonder if there was some force inside this Dark World that was to blame instead.

You've read about this sort of thing, with the deaths of Monsters in general: when their SOUL ceases to exist, their bodies turn to dust soon after "falling down"--another term for a coma they can't naturally be brought out of.

But you didn't know that applies down here, too. Back in the Card World, any Darkners Susie struck quickly fled before they could be too badly injured. No matter how quick or strong the blow was...they always ran away, so it's physically impossible to kill a Darkner.

Unless something stronger than Susie was capable of killing them instantly.

So you did some backtracking to figure out what happened here, to this once bright and busy city. And what insane idiot would think to bring harm to all these people.

The peculiar stench of salt clung to the air, filling your senses, though not enough that it was too much to bear.

But why salt of all things?

And where was Susie, Ralsei, and Kris anyway?

You had so many question and no one to answer-

"Lightner..."

The sudden grasp on your arm made you freeze, tensing up as you cautiously looked to see an Ambyu-Lance had caught your attention. Although you were worried about them wanting a fight, they didn't seem to be looking for one. Far from that, actually, as you studied them:

They didn't have their usual stern glare, but instead pure exhaustion in their eyes. Their body armor and needle were both rusted and dull. No hammer was in their grasp either, and the pink liquid in their syringe sloshed around as they looked side to side, as though expecting a surprise attack.

Then they leaned closer to you. "Please..we-" They coughed for a moment. "-we are in dire need of help. All hands on deck. Our patients are..f-falling down faster than we can help. This is a state of great emergency."

Any efforts to keep their authoritarian demeanor were faltering. They must've been desperate if they needed you for medical assistance.

You couldn't ignore someone in need, and so you followed the Ambyu-Lance to a makeshift tent, where wounded Cyber Darkners have gathered. It was here that you finally learned another Lightner and some puppet salesman Darkner started killing anyone standing in their way...or, rather, the former commanded the latter to.

One of the Addisons who were hiding when this all happened elaborated further, saying that Darkner used to be their friend: Spamton. And he was acting like a mindless slave to a Lightner who ordered him to kill one of his own with the point of a finger.

This situation became more horrifying than you could've imagined.

This was straight up..a massacre.

Even worse? Nobody has heard from Queen, so they had no idea what to do now. The only good thing was that the Dark Fountain was still flowing, but just by looking at the miserable states of these people...you wondered if sealing it would be a better fate than leaving them all in such despair.

The Ambyu-Lance who brought you here led you to a limp Tasque, which had a wound with large sharp teeth markings on its torso. It looked like something took a bite out of it, as you could see its insides were just blue circuit boards.

It wasn't moving, or even breathing.

"This is one of the few Tasques we found. We recovered Manager's whip, but no other trace of her and....I-I don't know if there's anything more I can do for this one."

"It's okay. You're doing great. I'll see what I can do." You knelt down in front of the digital cat, noting its HP was at zero. But remarkably it hadn't turned to dust, so you had a chance to save it.

Thanks to your staff being infused with revive dust and mint crystals, it could revive anyone and turn them into your ally. As long as you had enough TP, you never had to worry about running out, though you did keep the actual items on-hand in case your friends needed them.

Yet your pockets remained full.

Muttering a small incantation, your staff glowed as you waved it over the Tasque's body, watching the golden dust fall down onto it. And just like that, it was revived as though it were one of your party members.

There was just one problem.

You were a necromancer, not a healer.

This was your ideal-self, after all, considering how much media about the undead and dark magic you've consumed over the years. Books, video games, you name it. It was..definitely an unhealthy amount. Until now you didn't think all that knowledge would be useful.

Though you can understand the Ambyu-Lance's shock when the Tasque rose to its feet, eyes full of static and its meow becoming a hoarse glitchy noise. It didn't even sound like a meow at all. Not to mention its wound was merely covered by a glitchy transparent layer of fur.

With a somber smile, you stroked its head. "Good kitty."

You looked at the Ambyu-Lance and sighed, digging into your pockets and offering some healing items, including bottles of revive dust. "I'm sorry, I can't do much to heal their wounds. But these should help."

They simply nodded and took them, thanking you for the donations before they went back to tending to other Darkners.

With the undead Tasque by your side, you continued on your journey, now determined to find these culprits.

You weren't sure what would happen if you did encounter them. You could summon allies if need be to protect yourself, but you'd rather talk things out and find some reason for a massacre on this scale.

Though the Addison's words reminded you that this other Lightner could command someone to kill...but you didn't want to believe it was Kris.

So you tried to think of other possible candidates:

'Susie?' No. She charges headfirst into fights. There's no way she would she hide behind somebody like a coward.

'Noelle?' Definitely not. She couldn't be capable of doing something like this.

'Berdly?' Nah. He talked your ear off about impressing Queen so why would he make some random Darkner kill her subjects?

Unfortunately, Kris seemed to be the prime suspect. And it was strange that you haven't seen them anywhere in so long. If Queen was truly missing, they could have easily gone to the fountain to seal it.

So..why haven't they?

As you pondered over these thoughts, your Tasque meowed and froze in a state of fear, hiding behind your legs. You looked at it, seeing their fur standing straight up as they stared down an alleyway and at...a body.

Sure enough it was some small humanoid Darkner with black hair and a tattered coat, laying facedown in a heap of trash next to the dumpster. You could see a neon painting of a tree on the wall, but you ignored that and approached the person worriedly.

Despite the Tasque weakly tugging on your robe in protest, you went closer and saw something connected to them on a weird chain of blue spheres.

It looked like..a giant heart, larger than this person's stature.

Kneeling down, you set your staff on the ground and used both hands to gently roll them onto their back. Just so you could see what they look like.

And your own heart sunk at the sight.

The poor thing had broken glasses, scuffed joints, scratched-off paint on its cheeks, and a puppet-like jaw hanging open.

Wait...

A puppet?

With a sudden burst of fear and adrenaline, you stood back up and clutched your staff. You could feel your very SOUL trembling as you saw the face of the heart, too:

Sharp teeth. Like those Darkners at the tent spoke of.

Judging from how scared your Tasque was, there was no doubt this was the guy--Spamton--who murdered so many of his own kind. But he seemed to be dead, too, now. You wondered why.

Suicide? Exhaustion?

Judging from the dry tears marring his face, those seemed to be the obvious answers. If what the Addison mentioned about him being coerced into killing was true, then the guilt probably made him choose to end it all. Or he just collapsed here after his body gave out before he could make that choice.

Either way, something compelled you to revive him, even though you worried about how he might react. You didn't stick around long enough to hear his life story, so you didn't know what to expect when he opened his eyes.

Hopefully he can tell you what happened, but if he got hostile you could summon allies at the snap of your fingers. You didn't want to hurt him though..you just wanted answers.

Spamton eventually stirred awake, groaning as he clutched his head.

"K-Kris...please..I-I CAN'T TAKE [These Sweet Deals] ANYMORE.." He started blabbering, shakily grabbing the chain of his heart and pushing it back into his chest. "ALL I WANTED WERE MY [[$4.99]] KEYS BUT IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR YOU HUH?!!! WAS IT--WAS IT--WAS IT NOT ENOUGH [Savings]?!! NOT ENOUGH [Get Outta Town Vacations] FOR YOU?!!!"

"Keys? All this for some..keys?" You murmured to yourself, bewildered by what you were hearing.

"KRIS, YOU'RE [Killing Me] HERE!! WHY ARE YOU [[B-B-BuY HerE HeRe HERE]?!! I'M DONE! CONTRACT'S EXPIRED!! WHY WHY WHY CAN'T YOU [Let Me Go]?!" Between panicked breaths he scrambled to his feet, trying to run away, but he slipped on his own trash pile.

You gently grabbed ahold of him before he could faceplant into it again, trying to calm him down. But it wasn't helping that he was acting like a kicking and screaming toddler. "Hey, hey, it's alright."

"NO, NO, NO!! YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE [What Happens Next Will Shock You]!! I'M NOT...A-AFRAID TO GIVE YOU SOME [[Bargains That'll Drive You Wild]]! DON'T THINK YOU CAN JUST USE ME AND DROP ME LIKE THE [[Rotten Slime]] I AM!! GO BEFORE [You're Next (2011)]]!!"

"No, I'm not going anywhere."

"A-AND..AND WHY NOT?"

"Because I'm not Kris. And I know it's not your fault."

All of the sudden he stopped flailing, going completely silent as his arms fell limp. He stared up at you, realizing that you're indeed not Kris. "L-LiGhtner..?" He muttered, shocked to see someone in front of him who isn't immediately dead.

He was used to not speaking to anyone but Kris. Only seeing them all as "enemies".

"I'm [y/n]. A necromancer. I brought you back to life but...I can't exactly heal your injuries." You fixed his hair a little, frowning. "They..really made you hurt people and dropped you?"

Somehow, the color of his shattered glasses was restored as he started...laughing. He's laughing so hard, tears ran down his face and replaced the previously dry ones.

"[Y/N]..[Y/N]..YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT. JUST USE YOUR [Voodoo Magic] TO PUT ME [Six-Feet] UNDER AGAIN WHY DON'TCHA? IT'S THE ONLY PLACE LEFT FOR ME. I [100% Guarantee] YOU DON'T WANNA SEE MY [Cardio Workout Routine] BITE YOU AND YOUR ZOMBIES IN THE [Hyperlink Blocked]."

"Cardio..? Oh, that heart-looking thing? How are you even able to contain that within yourself?"

"EVEN I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT COULD DO, KID. IT WAS [Killing Me] EVERY TIME I GOT THE WORD TO USE IT!! I...I-I had no choice..th-their voice only became louder and louder..and my vision dark..yet darker..and in the end, I couldn't even make them proud of me..." His voice became quieter, with less spam mail jargon interrupting him. "I'm useless..and deserve to rot here.."

Although you didn't exactly understand why Kris made him do this..you understood that he wasn't a brutal murderer. He was a victim of manipulation. Simple as that.

"Well, for what it's worth..I don't think you deserve to rot."

"....THAT'S [#%&#%] AND YOU KNOW IT!! LOOK...LOOK AT THIS." Shakily raising his hand, you saw a green ring of thorns on his finger, piercing his plastic flesh. Dried oil, or blood, seemed to be oozing from it. "MY [[COMMEMORATIVE RING]] WASNT ENOUGH!!! I COULD [[Guarantee Myself Maximum Power]] IN EXCHANGE FOR [Lifetime of Misery]!! HURTS LIKE A MOTHER[[Truck Sale]] AND..I-I...I..!!!"

Though he was gradually silenced when you set a gentle hand on top of his head. He averted his gaze, more tears welling behind his glasses.

"I'M A [Ruined Man], [Y/N]. DO ME A FAVOR AND JUST PUT ME DOWN. WHY EVEN [Raise My Rates] LIKE THIS?"

"Well..I know what you did wasn't good at all." You pointed out. "Though you realized it was wrong and..the fact you aren't hurting me now shows you're willing to not do that again. Tell me, do you still hear their voice?"

"..NO, I...I DON'T."

"Then you're free from their clutches, Spamton. You don't have to listen to them anymore. I brought you back not just to find out what happened, but to give you a second chance."

"..........."

"You can stay with me if you want. I can guarantee your safety. But if not, I'll at least help you find a better place to stay than this dump. Or we can just...play it by ear and see how things go. The choice is yours, bud."

All you got was a nod, and you thought you heard him sniffling.

"Also um..may I hug you? Again it's totally up to you. No pressure." You offered with a smile, seeing him look up at you. "I just..want you to believe me when I say I'm not afraid of you. Plus, you look like you could use one after all you've been through."

He gave another silent nod, this time more hesitant.

Relieved, you put your arms around him, hoping the warmth of your robe would help soothe him. As horrendous as he smelled, and despite seeing remnants of dust on his coat, you knew this is what he needed more than anything right now.

But from Spamton's perspective, this was something he was downright terrified of. To the point of that horrible memory resurfacing:

A hug from Blue Addison...ending with the ravenous Heartbreaker ripping their body in half. Their screams still rang in his ears, much like that damned telephone, as it wasn't an instant death. With regular "enemies"? Yeah, but not so much "vendors".

He wanted this so badly..though at the same time he couldn't bring himself to move, fearing that it's just going to happen all over again.

He lets his guard down, hears their voice, sees the heart-shaped behemoth loom over you from behind, and then...you're gone.

Whatever hope he had left would be gone.

Yet..nobody rose their voice. And nothing but your Tasque companion lingered behind you.

He didn't feel dread or discomfort, or the cold feeling of someone glaring daggers of impatience into his back. Instead he felt the warm touch of you rubbing his back, easing the aches of all those times Heartbreaker put such a strain on him.

He only heard your voice telling him that he was safe. He could make his own choices now.

But nothing stuck to him more than your reassurance that he was free.

Free...that's all he ever wanted. He never wanted any of this.

He thought he died a vile, disgusting abomination. But you decided he was worthy of forgiveness, bringing him back and promising him that things were gonna be alright.

You dressed like the grim reaper, but you were actually an angel in disguise.

A literal angel who found this broken, wretched demon and saved his life when everyone else left him to rot...alone, forgotten, and hated.

Finally he allowed himself to relax. He tucked his face into the crook of your neck, nuzzling deep into the cotton material of your hood. He nearly suffocated himself in doing so, but he just couldn't help it.

You were so warm, so kind, so loving...to a vile thing like himself.

And just when he thought he ran out of tears to cry, they flowed out. He sobbed harder than he ever did in his life, jointed fingers grasping desperately at your robe.

It mattered not that you were someone he only met a few minutes ago.

What mattered was that he couldn't smell the salt anymore.

[morifinwes]

wangxian fic rec list!

aka in which i read fics, write some recs down for aamna and share them!! they're all wangxian fics and uhh @yibobibo i hope you'll like them!!

modern

wolf devours playboy bunny by @greenteafiend (5K, werewolf!lwj, getting together, idk if anyone needs to know that but there's nudity just not uhh explicit)

Lan Zhan has wanted Wei Ying as long as he has known him, and the worst part is that he thinks Wei Ying could want him back.

Too bad he could never in good conscience let himself go there—Wei Ying has a debilitating fear of all things canine, and once a month, Lan Zhan is the exact, precise thing that Wei Ying’s nightmares are made of.

Aka, Lan Zhan is a werewolf.

between the lines by @jywait (19K gaming au!!!, i'm always down for a good gaming au, lwj is the best aksks he's such a good boy)

☆yilingpatriarch☆: pls...give me some face, help me fight these monsters...I'm gonna die

Bluetooth: no.

"You have died." The screen said, and Wei Wuxian threw his hands up in frustration.

resonant frequencies by chinxe (15K, college au, fake dating au, tw mention of cheating but it's brief and no one was cheated on i promise)

In which Wei Wuxian decides that the best way to deal with being in love with Lan Wangji is to pretend to date him for three weeks.

It goes about as well as can be expected.

drift compatible by windoworwhatever (5K, poetry, fluff, drunkji, getting together, college au)

"It was just a fact of life. The sky was blue, university stipends for graduate students working in TA positions barely covered rent, bisexuals cuffed their jeans, Lan Wangji had a massive crush on Wei Wuxian, and spent his time pining and writing research papers about gay subtexts in ancient poetry."

OR

Lan Wangji is in love with Wei Wuxian, and everybody knows, except Wei Wuxian.

the bunny next door by detailsinthefabric (43K, this is mostly fluff and very light angst, and they were neighbors!!!, rabbits!!, aka wangxian's bunny children, this is... so cute i just have to rec it)

Lan Wangji did not know what he was doing. He did not know what he was going to say. He was frozen in place, puzzling over the situation. Maybe he had made the man uncomfortable, which is why he wanted to leave? But his tone had still been so friendly—maybe…

“Would…” he paused, swallowed, forced the last words to come out of his suddenly parched mouth, “would you let me pet him?”

-------------------------------------

Lan Wangji, who doesn't know how to socialize and whose icy demeanor scares everyone away, lets down all his defenses when he meets the bunny next door...oh, and also its owner, Wei Wuxian.

leading tone by silencemostofall (32K, everyone is a music student? or something like that akskk, curse fic, tw panic attacks, tw child abuse, small scene of drunkji, wwx has low self esteem, bro this was so painful to read)

The first time you touch someone you're fated to love, you leave a mark on their skin. If they will love you in return, they'll mark you where you touched them. The deeper the color, the deeper the connection.

Wei Ying has no marks at all.

public places, private thoughts by leahelisabeth (for the love of camelot) ( 8K, cherry magic au, getting together with like... immediate upgrade to fiance status, the author is wrong i crave good wangxian cherry magic aus even tho i haven't even watched cherry magic)

Wei Wuxian had heard the story of course. It had made its rounds through his high school and followed him into his college days. He didn’t think there was any possibility it was true. Virginity was a social construct, invented by creepy old men to exercise dominance over women. The idea that a simple lack of sexual activity before the age of thirty could give one magical powers was absolutely ludicrous.

Wei Wuxian believed this until the morning of his thirtieth birthday.

AKA the Wangxian Cherry Magic AU that absolutely nobody asked for.

i'd be all right (if i could see you) by @thirtysixsavefiles (16K, this was nice, i read this at 6am but it was cute, (while writing this post i must admit i don't remember anything but 6am-me said it's good))

The younger Lan brother is something of an enigma on campus; while Lan Xichen can sometimes be seen in the company of other graduate students or conducting a seminar, Lan Wangji appears to spend all his time in class or in the library. He doesn’t drink. He doesn’t smoke. He doesn’t attend social events. He doesn’t do anything for fun, as far as Wei Wuxian can tell, and it’s driving Wei Wuxian just a little bit up the wall.

Or, Wei Wuxian convinces Lan Wangji to come to a house party, and then they're assigned to the same group project. Wei Wuxian tries his best, but he is not in possession of all the facts.

axe on leg by itszero (4K, i still don't get why wwx did that but it was nice seeing him jealous for once, jealous!wwx, lwj i love you....)

Wei Wuxian pressed his face into his pillow and screamed. He paused to take a few deep breaths, partially hindered by the pillow, and listened to the sounds of Nie Huaisang slurping his iced coffee, from his seat on Wei Wuxian's desk chair.

Having caught his breath, he resumed his screaming and did not stop at the sound of his dorm room door opening.

"What's wrong with him?" He heard his brother, Jiang Cheng, ask.

The slurping stopped. "He's an idiot."

"He's always been an idiot. Why is he bothered about it now?"

"He forced Lan Wangji to go on a date," Nie Huaisang replied, shaking the ice cubes in his drink.

"Okay and…?"

"With someone else." The slurping resumed.

Wei Wuxian, in all his glorious dumbassery, convinces his boyfriend to go on a date with someone else.

these two most powerful by @stiltonbasket (4K, amnesia, wangxian with children!!!, aksksk this was adorable, dadji!!)

When Lan Wangji went to bed last night, he was alone in a tiny guest room with nothing but the howling of the wind in the mountains and his own lonely thoughts for company.

 

But when he opened his eyes in the morning, Wei Ying was asleep beside him.

 

(In which Lan Wangji loses twenty years' worth of memories after a night-hunt gone wrong, and his life as a doting father and husband continues without a hitch somehow.)

good things come to those who wait [but i ain't in a patient phase] by @cerlunas (4K, getting together, pining lwj)

Lan Wangji can't take it anymore.

 

“I love you”, he says, and god, it feels terrifying. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”

“Lan Zhan…” Wei Wuxian starts, but Lan Wangji doesn’t want to hear it.

He grabs his cup and drinks everything. He doesn’t know what face Wei Wuxian is making at him right now, and it’s okay. 

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian repeats louder, but it’s too late. He is already falling asleep.

Or, even after 13 years, Lan Wangji is still in love with his best friend. Maybe it's time to open up.

wei ying, will you marry m- oh my god he swallowed the ring! by selene210 (2K, marriage proposals, crack, marriage proposals but.. they go wrong)

“A ring?”

And indeed it was. The ring Lan Wangji was going to propose to Wei Ying with. That the man had now choked on.

“You swallowed it.”

“It was in my soufflé! Why did you put a ring in my soufflé Lan Zhan- oh. oh”

of glittery valentine's cards by @soft-fics (3K, valentine's day, this was adorable aksk, a-yuan best boy!!)

Lan Zhan didn't want to know what his best friend had planned for Valentine's Day; his heart would simply not be able to handle it. When his son tells him that he made Wei Ying a Valentine's Day card, though, Lan Zhan decided to bring it over anyway.

of coffee and white tea by @soft-fics (9K, fluff, lwj doesn't like coffee, wwx buys him coffee, then they switch drinks, again and again and again, the staff ships it lmao, tbh jc shouldn't have done that like wtf)

For the fourth time this week a stranger orders him a cup of coffee. Lan Wangji wonders how exactly to tell this man to stop ordering him coffee he doesn't even like. Turns out, buying the other white tea and switching drinks is not the best way to go about it

canon setting

on the importance of restraint (or lack thereof) by nixthothou (4K, in which sizhui snaps, i love that boy, no like seriously he's the best boy)

Lan Sizhui does not usually find himself in the company of Sect Leader Jiang.

Suffice to say, Lan Sizhui's feelings toward him are conflicted.

lan wangji is wei wuxian's baby by lilycs (3K, i was craving fluff while reading this, lwj my beloved, drunk!lwj)

Lan Wangji gets drunk from barely a cup of alcohol, becoming a whiny baby and asking his husband for cuddles.

one of our own by glitteringmoonlight (8K, wei wuxian & lan sect, 5+1 things, in which they learn to love him, they're all part of the wwx protection squad lead by lwj, wangxian isn't the focus but !!! THIS)

Times change, but some people remain the same.

The Lans are nothing, if not aware of this.

For one of their own, they will stand against the world.

Or, 5 times the Lans defended Wei Wuxian, and the 1 time he was there to see it happen.

so why not crack your skull when the mind swells by @greenteafiend (13K, love curse, post cql canon, curses, getting together, fluff, so much fluff, lwj tries to talk about his emotions!, lwj pov)

Lan Wangji detects the curse trying to curl through his heart meridians like smoke. A love curse, then. It must have been cast remotely somehow to have found him in his bed in Cloud Recesses. No matter. Lan Wangji crushes it easily, enveloping it in his spiritual energy, and then squeezing. Curse averted, Lan Wangji closes his eyes and goes back to sleep. He thinks no more of it.

Two days later, Wei Wuxian arrives in Cloud Recesses.

Or, Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel terrible pain when he and Lan Wangji aren’t touching.

i started from the bottom / now i'm rich by x_los (57K, time travel, fix it, jealous lwj, crack treated serious, god this is so good tho, wwx/wrh & wwx/jgs but like as a joke and it doesn't really happen, but it has its purpose!!)

“First, you get the money. Then you get the power, respect - hos come last.”

 

Wen Qing traps Wei Wuxian in the Demon Slaughtering Cave, but Wei Wuxian isn’t interested in being the beneficiary of the Wen Remnants’ noble sacrifice. His efforts to free himself accidentally send him back to the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign. Coreless but armed with demonic cultivation, knowledge of the future and his wits, Wei Wuxian takes advantage of this opportunity to come out on top of both the war and its aftermath—before either has a chance to happen—by marrying and swiftly burying the cultivation world’s worst men.

Lan Wangji is confused, hurt, and uncomfortably aroused by Wei Wuxian’s improbably elaborate series of Sect-themed bridal negligees.

lead me on through by mrsronweasley (55K, they're in love your honor, arranged marriage but they don't know to whom, basically wwx & lwj want to practice kissing which then goes beyond kissing but not the whole way y'know, lxc the best wingman tho)

"Who do you think your betrothed is?" Wei Wuxian asks, sprawling out in front of Lan Zhan and enjoying the prim thinning of his lips at the question. He shouldn't be sprawling—they're in the library, for one, and Lan Zhan is studying, for another—but he can't help himself. Wei Wuxian is a sprawler.

"I do not believe this to be of importance," Lan Zhan responds, without turning his gaze away from his book.

"What!" Wei Wuxian sits up. "How can you say that? Of course it's important! This is the person you'll be with for the rest of your life, Lan Zhan."

[robininthelabyrinth]

Prompt: Instead of shattering Dad Nie's saber to kill his pride, he shatters Baxia - and thus Nie Mingjue. What better way to punish a man who dared to think anything of his could rival Wen Ruohan? Only, Nie Mingjue survives... and Baxia does too. Of course, sharing Nie Mingjue's body, neither of them is quite the same...

Curse-breaker (Chapter 1/4)

- ao3 -

"I see," Wen Ruohan said, his teeth slightly gritted, his irritation plain and obvious for all to see. "Indeed, I must concede that Sect Leader Nie's saber is finer than the one I own; it is undeniable. Lao Nie, your saber."

He offered it back, plainclothes-wrapped hilt first.

"You do my sect honor," Sect Leader Nie said with a wide grin, accepting the saber. "Our sabers are indeed the finest – and more than that, they get better with each generation. To tell you the truth, my friend: this one isn't mine, but my son's!"

He revealed the hilt, not anything like his own, and laughed, delighted by the joke he had played.

Wen Ruohan’s face contorted, growing pale in what everyone assumed was rage.

It was only later that Lao Nie, at least, recognized that it had been horror.

-

Nie Mingjue was screaming, and had not stopped screaming.

His throat was rent all to pieces, his fingers bloody from clawing at his own flesh, his eyes rolling around in his head as if by some inescapable fit -

"It's a qi deviation," one of the elders said. "Induced by the breaking of his saber. We should take him to the tombs."

"Fuck off," Lao Nie told them, as if saying the words would deny the truth. "He's too young!"

He put himself between them and his son.

"You shouldn't have let him take up the saber so young," the elder persisted, as if it had been Nie Mingjue’s fault that his son’s saber had been shattered by a man a century older than him, and all because of a dispute that had nothing to do with him. "You shouldn't have shown it to others, left it unguarded -"

"Do you think I don't know that?!" Lao Nie roared, abruptly pushed beyond his limits. "Do you think that I don't already regret...!"

He regretted. Oh, how he regretted!

He had not regretted a single thing in his life since the day his father had told him that he would one day die, and how. Even back then, he had swallowed down the regret without choking on it: he had accepted it, understood it, and resolved to live the life he had left to him to the utmost. What good, he had reasoned, would regret do? Would it win him a single additional day of life? Would it wring out a single ounce of additional joy from the days he did have?

There was no point in regret.

Whether that was the right decision or not, he didn’t know, but it was the one he made, and he stuck with it.

His whole life, Lao Nie had been reckless and carefree even by the already low standards of his family. He was always indulging in familiar pleasures and searching for new experiences, doing whatever he could to excite a palate already starting to grow jaded. He broke hearts as easily as he won them, and had what even he admitted was the worst taste in partners imaginable, attracted as he was to danger and death as if to an old and much-beloved friend. He laughed at the idea of risk or consequences, taking care only for his sect, which he loved; everything else was negotiable, or so he'd thought. He'd scared the wits out of most of his family time and time again, and - perhaps as recompense - had grown his first grey hair dozens of years too early. To this day, he still didn't know whether the reason everyone called him Lao Nie so often that even he thought of himself that way was because they were genuinely fond of him, because of the premature black-and-white mix of his hair, or perhaps just as some unspoken prayer that he finally get over himself and grow up.

If it was the last, it hadn’t worked. Even as he’d gotten older, he hadn’t changed one bit.

The only thing that had changed was that he’d finally found something he loved more than his sect.

He loved his children.

He loved his children, whether the righteous and too-serious Mingjue with his secret penchant for tears or the flippant and carefree Huaisang who was lazier than a slug in the sun. He loved them and he, unlike his father before him, did not burden them over-early with knowledge that would only be an itch under their skin that slowly drove them mad.

He loved them.

And now one of them was dying – because of him.

"You should take him to the tombs," the elder said, and ignored the crash of the chair Lao Nie threw at their head. "You let him become a man of our sect, Lao Nie. Do him the honor of letting him die as one.”

“You…!”

“Or do you think you are being kind, leaving him like this?"

Lao Nie looked down at his son, his Mingjue, the baby he’d held in his arms and the toddler he’d taught to walk and the child he’d chased and the teenager he’d taught the saber. His boy, who was thrashing wildly on the bed, spitting up foam along with blood and weeping uncontrollably.

"A-die," Nie Mingjue whimpered, just as he had when he'd been younger and caught in the throes of fever or breaking a bone through his own misadventures. Tears streamed endlessly down his eyes, his brave little boy who was not-so-secretly a bit of a crybaby. "A-die, a-die, it hurts..."

Lao Nie closed his eyes in pain.

He regretted.

But it was too late now to regret.

"We'll take him to the tombs," he finally conceded, and for the first time in his life he truly felt old. "Just let me say goodbye."

-

If you go to the tombs, you will not come out.

Nie Mingjue might only be a child, thirteen or fourteen years old – he couldn’t remember clearly any longer which it was – but he had been a good student before that, reading faithfully through his sect’s histories and listening to his teachers. He knew enough to read between the lines, to reckon the subtle indications and the not-so-subtle hints: he knew, even before he’d been officially told, what it was that he faced down at the end of the road that his ancestors had built for him to walk.

The early death – the painful death – the silent tombs –

There had been so many whispers when he’d taken up his Baxia too early. How could he not know?

His father hadn’t wanted him to know, though. So he hadn’t said anything, and pretended he didn’t.

(Huaisang could be ignorant for real, he’d thought to himself. It’d be okay if he didn’t know.)

If you go to the tombs, you will not come out. You cannot go to the tombs!

Nie Mingjue opened his eyes.

He no longer screamed, even though the spiritual energy that had once felt rich and nourishing and strong now felt like corrosive acid scouring his veins, burning him from the inside out – it wasn’t that he didn’t want to, wasn’t still compelled too; it was only that he had screamed too much, wearing out his voice down to nothingness from overuse.

If I go to the tombs, I will not come out, he thought, dimly aware that something wasn’t right. Thinking was hard, and grew ever harder: the qi deviation, for that was what it was, was worsening, not getting better.

Would not ever get better.

His Baxia, his loyal saber filled to the brim with resentful energy, had shattered. Shattered, and now all that resentful energy that she had collected for herself had flooded back into him, drowning his brain in rage and madness.

Flooding him with – Baxia.

I cannot go to the tombs.

You cannot go to the tombs, Baxia agreed – at least, he thought it was Baxia. It might be himself: he could no longer tell the difference.

She’d shattered, and he’d shattered, too. His mind and his body and his meridians and his golden core: everything was in pieces. His spiritual energy was running the wrong way, twisting him up inside, hurting instead of helping – the rage and resentful energy wasn’t going into Baxia but coming back into him, and it was poison.

There was no fixing it. His ancestors had tried everything they could: brought in the finest physicians with their needles and their clever ideas, sought out mysterious techniques and strange geniuses that played games even with their golden cores, even tried out demonic cultivation to see if it would help – with their lives and their children’s lives at stake, was there anything they wouldn’t do?

As if it would be that easy.

As if the road to death taken time and time again over the generations could be so easily evaded.

Nie Mingjue was a Nie. He had had a qi deviation. He was going to die.

But he was young, too.

Too young.

They all said that’d he formed his core at an extraordinary young age, and he had, too, verifiable evidence of his unusual genius for cultivating – only a golden core formed too early wasn’t quite the same as one done in the usual way at the usual time. It’d formed all right, all the spiritual liquid flowing through his meridians condensing into a shining solid sphere in his dantian, but it was still a little gummy in comparison to the normal ones. It had to be. He’d formed the core before he’d reached adolescence, without any of the necessary hormones running through his body; if his golden core was as fully solid as most adults, he’d be stuck at the age and size he was at when the core was first formed.

Normally, all this meant was that his foundation would be a little unstable for the first few years, just until he got old enough, and only when he was finally at his proper age would it truly settle into place along with his body, growing firm and solid and far more powerful than all the rest.

But he’d never gotten the chance to grow that old.

Nie Mingjue’s core had cracked when his saber that had been fundamentally tied to it had shattered, but unlike the steel of the saber it was still more fluid than solid. Even as the corrosive resentful energy burned him, even as the spiritual energy rioted within him, his old instincts were still there, that subconscious genius for cultivating already at work, trying to force the spiritual energy to run through him, trying to put those broken pieces back together. For any normal Nie, the greater his talent, the faster he’d be driven mad, but for Nie Mingjue, those gummy pieces of his core, sticky and still fluid, were instead being soldered together using spiritual energy and resentful energy both, and unlike the stiff and brittle solidity of the golden core of adulthood, they were still flexible enough to stick together – to coalesce into a whole once more.

Only –

Nie Mingjue opened his eyes.

He’d already opened them once, and now he opened them again. The world as he had always recognized it, he saw through his left eye – but through his right, there was a whole new world.

It was a world of black and white, of good and evil, a world of kinetic movement, of steel and rage incarnate…the world through the perception of a saber spirit. A saber spirit who had shattered when her steel was shattered, shattered when her master’s core was shattered, and whose pieces were even now integrating interchangeably with her master’s pieces into a single indissoluble whole.

If we go to the tombs, they thought, and now that was it, that was right, we will not come out.

Well, that was simple enough to fix.

They just wouldn’t go to the tombs.

-

“What do you mean, he’s gone?” Nie Huaisang’s father hissed. “He can’t be – he wasn’t in any state – he couldn’t have just gotten up and run away – no, stop, let’s go. I don’t want Huaisang hearing.”

Nie Huaisang hated it when his father remembered to be discreet around him.

His da-ge was never discreet, he thought, pouting. If anything, that was something his father often complained about, even if he would be chuckling all the while: that Nie Mingjue had all the tact of a lady boar in full charge, riled up in defense of her children, and with about as much care for anything that did not meet his stringent expectations of justice and fairness – which was rather a lot.

Where was his da-ge, anyway? Nie Huaisang hadn’t seen him in days, not since he went out on that night hunt with their father. He’d asked his nurse about it, because it was unusual for his brother not to come play with him once he’d returned, and she’d said that he’d gotten sick and couldn’t come to see him just yet. But surely it was long enough that he’d be better already!

Nothing could keep his big brother down for long.

Decided, Nie Huaisang hopped up and headed outside, planning to go find his brother. His brother would explain what was going on, simplifying things down until even a little kid like him could get it, and he wouldn’t make Nie Huaisang feel stupid for needing that simplification.

His brother thought Nie Huaisang was smart.

Nie Huaisang walked along the railing next to his window, teetering back and forth with his hands outstretched for balance – his brother had showed him this pathway long ago, telling him that he could use it when he wanted to sneak out go play or look at birds, or even just come to find him whenever he had nightmares.

His brother wasn’t in his rooms, though.

Nie Huaisang sighed. Maybe he was in the study, or the training field, or something like that, but if Nie Huaisang tried to go there, he’d be dragged into lessons or training as well, and he didn’t want that.

He decided to go look at birds instead.

His brother had come up with a secret path to the outside that only they knew, the two of them, one that led them all the way out into the forest where the really interesting birds were. It was close enough to home that it was still safe, still within the bounds of the Unclean Realm’s protective arrays, but far enough to feel unburdened by the presence of their elders.

Nie Huaisang went to look at birds, but it wasn’t birds he found.

“…who’s there?” he asked, seeing movement in the bushes – something too large to be a bird, too small to be a bear, too two-legged to be a boar or a dog. Whoever it was, they were breathing hard, as if they’d run too far, interspersed with little whines of pain, like they were hurt. “Who are…”

The figure in the bush moved forward.

“…da-ge?”

Nie Huaisang’s big brother didn’t look right. He was crouched down, carrying his body low as if he were trying to support himself and protect his middle at the same time, his fingers digging into the ground for balance – his lips were peeled back from his teeth in something caught between a grimace and a growl. His left eye was normal, but his right was horribly red, shot through with pulsing veins that seemed to bleed into the iris, the color of which had faded from warm golden brown to something more like a slate or steel grey.

He sounded like he was in pain.

His brother was in pain.

Nie Huaisang took a step towards him, deeply concerned, and Nie Mingjue backed away.

“Da-ge,” Nie Huaisang whispered, terrified. “Da-ge, it’s me, it’s Huaisang – I won’t hurt you!”

Nie Mingjue whined, a sound deep in the back of his throat, but this time, when Nie Huaisang stepped forward, he didn’t run. He waited until Nie Huaisang was close before darting forward and nuzzling Nie Huaisang’s hand with his cheek, ducking his head down and letting him touch his hair as if he were a dog.

His brother wasn’t just sick, Nie Huaisang realized. He was reallysick.

“What happened?” he asked, and his brother just looked sad. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

His brother nodded. A short jerking motion, barely recognizable, and yet – a nod.

“…do you have to?”

Another nod.

Nie Huaisang’s lip quivered. “Will you be all right?”

His brother nuzzled his palm again. It wasn’t an answer.

Nie Huaisang took a deep breath. “I won’t tell anyone.”

His brother seemed almost to smile.

And then he was gone.

Walking all the way back inside before bursting into tears was the hardest thing Nie Huaisang had ever done in his life, but the worst part was knowing that this was only the beginning.

[vrishchikawrites]

Are you still taking prompts?

Cause if so, I'd love to see a time travel fic where post-canon WWX and LWJ get yeeted back into their younger bodies, and land just before the GC transfer. And Post-Canon WWX - who's had some years of being a part of a loving, supportive family, in a non-toxic, non-abusive environment; and therefore no longer has any misconceptions about how much the Jiangs were not his family - takes one look at JC lying there on the table in the cave after WQ knocked him out (and is now in the middle of prepping for surgery); and just goes, "LOL, yeah; nope.😆 Been there, done that; 10/10, would not recommend.😝 Hey, WQ - change of plans!😎"

(Except, you know, not written like crack. 😉)

Not necessary to include, but a fun idea:

JC gets dragged along to the past as well because he has WWX's GC; so whatever sent them back mistook him for part of WWX and brought him along.

So when he wakes up from the anaesthesia, he freaks out about not having a GC anymore. And WWX has this whole story ready to tell young JC about how, "Oops, sorry; you can't have a new GC after all" - but this is Post-Canon JC; so he knows about the transfer, and knows that this means that WWX decided not to do it again.

Which means he ends up screaming at WWX about, "How dare you not give me your GC!"

So WWX feels exactly zero sympathy.

(Before that happened he was maybe feeling a little bit bad for young JC; because that JC hadn't done anything too bad yet - but he already knew how it would turn out if he went through with it. And he was not giving up his chance to cultivate to immortality with his hubby; just so that JC could Feel Like A Real Man, and go on to murder his way through life again.)

What would be really, really great about this, is if WWX had brought JC to Qinghe or Gusu; or somewhere the other cultivation sects involved in the SSC had gathered, before JC woke up. Planning to leave him there where he would be safe. So when JC wakes up and starts screaming, everybody hears him.

And they're all like, "...WUT."🤤

"You expected him to do what?!?"😲😨😱

So instead of all the sympathy and compassion, etc, that he would have gotten over what happened at LP (that he probably did get the first time), or for losing his GC; basically the entire allied cultivation world as a whole is collectively side-eyeing him.

IDK; I just think it would be really funny.

But mainly, I just want to see WWX a few years post-canon; having the chance to do it all again, and choosing not to go through with the GC transfer. LWJ going with him is because the thought of post-canon LWJ losing his WWX makes me sad; and I want them to stay together. 😋

Post-Canon JC going back and getting stuck with the coreless body he deserved is just for my own catharsis.

(The rest of that idea is simply for the lulz.) 😉

(I decided not to include JC traveling back in time. Hope this works and satisfies you!)

“No, I don’t.” Wei Wuxian sees Wen Qing blink and stare at him while Wen Ning stills in the process of making Jiang Cheng comfortable.

“What?” Wen Qing asks but rethinks it immediately, “No, no need to answer that.” She starts packing away her instruments immediately like she’s glad that Wei Wuxian has changed his mind. He looks at her and feels aching fondness rise in his chest. She must be frustrated that he made her go through all of that trouble and yet she still chooses to move before he can change his mind again.

“What… are we going to tell Jiang-gongzi?” Wen Ning asks tentatively but Wei Wuxian notes the faint look of relief in the boy’s eyes.

“We’ll tell him the treatment wasn't possible,” He says, glancing at his… former shidi. It isn’t an easy decision to make, because he knows Jiang Cheng would suffer for it. A part of him feels like he’s being unnecessarily cruel by denying Jiang Cheng his core.

But he has already paid his debt and it cost countless people their lives. Jiang Cheng’s actions didn’t just lead to the death of the Wens. Lan Zhan had told him about the numerous ‘demonic cultivators’ Jiang Cheng had pursued relentlessly. Even his love wasn’t certain how many people died or were tormented to insanity because of Jiang Cheng’s persistence.

While Wei Wuxian doesn’t intend to let the situation get so out of hand, it is apparent that Jiang Cheng can’t be trusted with power.

He is worried about how Jiang Cheng would react. Wei Wuxian had promised him a core, after all. But whatever happens, a powerless Jiang Cheng is safer for everyone.

“We’ll tell him that rebuilding the core is impossible because Wen Zhuliu destroyed his meridians as well.”

“He has,” Wen Qing points out, “I was about to repair them.”

Wei Wuxian frowns, “And can you repair them still? Without transferring the core?” That would certainly help Jiang Cheng heal faster and accept some spiritual energy transfusions. Wen Qing looks at Jiang Cheng with a frown and nods.

“Wei-gongzi… what changed your mind?” Wen Ning asks as Wen Qing goes to work immediately. Wei Wuxian knows that if he has to help the Wens, he needs to tell them the truth. While Wen Ning would trust him and accept his explanation without too many questions, Wen Qing wouldn’t be so easy.

Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, getting his thoughts in order. When he opens them again, both of the Wens are looking at him with frowns.

He grins wryly and spreads his hands, "I have a tale for you, my dear friends."

-

Jin Guangyao needed to have his last 'hurrah'. He just couldn't leave them be, even as he died. Whatever he did, whatever tool he used, it sent a shockwave of Resentful Energy that would've killed them all.

As always, Wei Wuxian stepped forward to protect people. As always, Lan Wangji stepped forward to protect him.

Wei Wuxian gritted his teeth and changed his plan at the last moment. At first, he wanted to absorb the energy and channel it somewhere else. But with so many people just lingering instead of running, he needed a different solution.

His mind flashed, he saw Jiang Cheng, and decided.

A forbidden array formed.

-

"I needed something that would use up all of the Resentful Energy and protect everyone, including Lan Zhan."

"So, at the last moment and on the verge of dying, you chose something as improbable as time travel." Wen Qing deadpans. Wen Ning is looking at him with wide eyes. Strangely enough, both look like they believe him. Well, he did mention a few things, personal incidents, that he had no way of knowing if the Wens hadn't told him.

Still.

"I'm not the one for regrets," He says softly as he looks at Jiang Cheng, "But I thought that array was the safest solution. It doesn't harm the current timeline so everyone is safe. Lan Zhan, I know, wouldn't mind following my lead in this." He did regret taking Zewu-jun's brother away from him after such a traumatic event but there really was no other option. Not with Jin Ling so close and so many innocent people in the vicinity.

Wei Wuxian is quite certain that the blast would've destroyed everything around them, including the innocent people around the Guanyin Temple complex.

The siblings exchange glances before Wen Qing returns to Jiang Cheng's side, preparing to work on his meridians, "You're going to change things." She observes, "Save people?"

"Save you and Wen Ning. Save Jiang Yanli. Save innocents, yes."

Wen Qing freezes.

---

Lan Wangji doesn't know what Wei Ying did but he trusts his beloved. When he finds himself in the past, just before the Sunshot Campaign begins and shortly after the fall of the Lotus Pier, he doesn't hesitate.

He knows that his brother is safe and his uncle is managing things at Cloud Recesses. But he also knows that somewhere out there, his beloved is preparing himself for a risky, painful procedure.

Wangji can't let that happen. He thinks back on everything Wen Ning shared with him about the incident, particularly the location of where it occurred. He's probably too late to stop the transfer but perhaps not late enough to stop the Wens from finding Wei Ying.

It takes him days to reach Yiling without the aid of Bichen but he manages and immediately heads towards the approximate location Wen Ning had mentioned.

"Wei Ying," He breathes softly when he spots his beloved shopping for some supplies. He hadn't anticipated finding him so soon but is grateful nonetheless.

Wei Ying is dressed like a peasant and blends in well with the people around him but Wangji can recognize him anywhere.

Dressed discreetly and without his forehead ribbon, Wangji too is inconspicuous. He moves swiftly towards Wei Ying and catches his elbow, eyeing the people in red and white uniform at the far end of the street warily.

"Come." He whispers.

Wei Ying doesn't say a word, just paying the vendor and following Wangji into a more discreet location.

Wangji looks at his beloved's face, drinking in his bright silver eyes and sharp features with acute relief.

"Wei Ying, you… you look well." Strangely so, for someone who has just given up his Golden Core.

Hope stirs in his chest and Wangji reaches for Wei Ying's wrist.

His love's lips quirk in amusement, but Wangji ignores him, focusing on sending his spiritual energy through Wei Ying's meridians.

A strong core pulses in response.

"Wei Ying," Something bright and triumphant burns in his chest and he resists the urge to pull his beloved into a crushing embrace.

He would've supported Wei Ying's decision to give up his core and cultivate with resentful energy again. He knew it wasn't evil or harmful now.

But Wei Ying chose himself. His beloved had finally chosen to save himself.

"Aiya, Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying laughs, "If you keep looking at me like that, I'll do something quite shameless and embarra-"

Wangji kisses him.

He cups that precious face, pulls him close, and slides his lips over soft flesh in a tender expression of love he can't contain.

Wei Ying chose himself.

---

Jiang Cheng returns from his trip to the mountain with a thunderous expression on his face.

He disregards Lan Zhan and grabs Wei Wuxian's arm in a tough grip, dragging him away from the crowded tea house. Lan Zhan follows without a word, his expression frosty and eyes on Jiang Cheng.

"Your Grandmaster," He spits, "Is just as useless and worthless as you. All she could do is repair my meridians! My body was too damaged for anything else, she said!"

Wei Wuxian knows Wen Qing wrote the note they left by Jiang Cheng's side but he hadn't known what she had written.

It must've been reasonably convincing for Jiang Cheng to be convinced.

"That's-" He searches his mind to find words that would be appropriately sympathetic. Saying 'that's too bad' would be just rubbing salt on an open wound.

He may dislike Jiang Cheng, but some of the childhood affection still lingers. He doesn't wish to hurt his former shidi.

"I didn't know," He says finally, his heart throbbing in sympathy at Jiang Cheng's devastated expression. He briefly reconsiders his decision but Lan Zhan shifts discreetly by his side and Wei Wuxian remembers why he made that decision in the first place.

Jiang Cheng had been unworthy of the gift he had been given.

His shidi snarls and turns to Lan Zhan, "What are you doing here, Lan er-gonzi," He snarls, "Coming to triumph in our misery?"

Lan Zhan looks at him flatly, "I came to assist Wei Ying."

"Came to assist Wei Ying," Jiang Cheng mocks, his expression tight and furious, "Well, you're welcome to take him away! There's nothing left for him to destroy. Everything is gone. He invited the wrath of the Wens on our heads to protect you and that led to the destruction of my sect. He couldn't even repay that debt. His Grandmaster failed."

Jiang Cheng turns hate-filled eyes towards him, "You are a curse. My father should have left you to rot on the streets!"

"Jiang Wanyin!" Lan Zhan warns but Wei Wuxian places a hand on the Second Jade's arm to halt him.

"I'm taking you to Meishan to be with shijie." Wei Wuxian says calmly, "And then I'll go join the war efforts."

Jiang Cheng sneers before turning his head away, silent.

Wei Wuxian does as he says. He leaves Jiang Cheng in Jiang Yanli's care and heads to Qinghe with Lan Zhan. The war goes differently than before. He manages to kill Wen Zhuliu and Wen Chao early, which gives them a big morale boost. But that's the only thing that goes their way for a long time.

"I'm going to use it," He tells Lan Zhan once, when the scales tip dangerously in the Wen's favor.

Lan Zhan studies him before nodding gracefully, "I will help."

There's no way to avoid using his cultivation method, not if he wants to keep people safe. He's more careful and restrained this time and he doesn't create the Yīn Hǔ Fú. But Mo Dao is Mo Dao. It attracts disapproval from people regardless.

Wei Wuxian doesn't care and Lan Zhan stays by his side without paying any heed to the grumblings of his clan. He goes to sleep every night with Lan Zhan's guqin notes in his ear and meditates every morning with the Cleansing purging the Resentful Energy from his body.

With a powerful and active Golden Core, Wei Wuxian can't use Mo Dao liberally without risking Qi Deviation. But he uses enough to help them win the war.

Wei Wuxian successfully retakes Lotus Pier and Yunmeng from the Wens. Jiang Cheng's hatred doesn't diminish and even Jiang Yanli grows distant after a while. Jiang Cheng's suffering and downfall hardens something in his soft shijie.

Wei Wuxian accepts that consequence quietly.

He hands Lotus Pier back to Jiang Cheng and stays on the front lines, leaving most of the freshly recruited disciples behind to protect his former martial siblings. When the war ends, argues to keep the Wen cultivators in better conditions. He makes sure everyone knows how much the Jiangs owe the Wen siblings, and saves the children and elderly.

With Jiang Cheng out of the Cultivation World and Wei Wuxian's reputation as a war hero, saving the Wen remnants is easier than it had been before.

---

Everyone is baffled when Jiang Wanyin names a new head disciple and Wei Wuxian never returns to Yunmeng. People gossip, sect leaders question, and new Jiang disciple flounder.

Neither Jiang Wanyin nor Wei Wuxian confirms it but it is clear to everyone that the Jiang Sect has, foolishly, kicked out its most powerful disciple. YunmengJiang remains wealthy but the Sect's influence diminishes significantly once Wei Wuxian leaves.

Other Sects, big and small, scramble to find Wei Wuxian, ready to offer him a place and get a powerful cultivator in their ranks. Letters pour in promising wealth and prestige.

Wei Wuxian ignores them all and settles in Cloud Recesses. He's content to teach a group of eye-wide Lan ducklings now to deal with resentful energy and limit the risk of Qi Deviation. He takes them on Nighthunts, teaches them real-life lessons, encourages creativity, and becomes a well-loved senior.

New YunmengJiang disciples aren't near as strong as their predecessors without someone to teach them properly.

People gossip and speculate as the years pass. They hint that he is wrong to leave his former sect behind but he doesn't care.

Wei Wuxian has Lan Zhan and Lan Sizhui. Wen Qing and Wen Ning live happily in a small farming village not far from Gusu. They intervene before Jin Guangyao kills Nie Mingjue. They save Lan Xichen from heartache. Jin Ling is born and has both of his parents.

That's all he needs to be happy.

YunmengJiang is no longer his responsibility.

[randomsnakesimp]

As the last one seemed to actually be of interest to some people, I thought I might move on to another section of my theories on w.i.t.c.h. : Jonathan Ludmoore, Elias van Dahl and time travel.

So, this one is more of a "trying to warp around canon" kind of theory.

The main issues I am trying to solve here, which I stumbled upon while reading, are:

- how did Elias and Cedric get to 400 years in the past if Phobos is only five years older than Elyon?

- if both Cedric and Ludmoore worked for Phobos, and were seemingly close to him, why did neither of them acknowledge knowing the other in any way, shape or form?

- how did Ludmoore get a hundred years to the past to open holes in the veil if, again, he had to have interacted with Phobos?

- if there is a time travel option, why do neither Phobos nor Cedric nor any of the rebels ever try using it to their advantage?

- We know Elyon was brought to modern day earth, and that Phobos was about five at that point, so Meridianese time cannot run that much slower than earth time, unless there's a weird time warp involved, but...yeah, if I go there, my brain will probably implode. Feel free to if you're smarter than me, though, I'd love to hear thoughts on that.

- We also know that time travel will never be freely available, as otherwise, there'd be time travelers around somewhere during the comics time line for sure, but there has to be some way Cedric and Elias, who were definitely no born time travelers, did travel in time.

Now, I'm gonna offer up two different theories. The first one is the best I can come up with to explain all of the above is the following line of events:

Ludmoore is actually from future Meridian, likely Renaissance or something, so roughly equivalent to the time he ended up in on earth, as well.

He was a brilliant alchemist, and also apparently rather charming, so he managed to get a hold of the pathetic leftovers of the breath of time - remember, it was severely damaged during Phobos' attempt at reviving himself, and according to Yan Lin, only a few corns of the magical sand had remained inside. I assume Ludmoore took the remaining sand and managed to produce a potion or some other sort of product usable by anyone who got a hold of it.

Since this fatally destroyed the breath of time, and it's the only magical artifact with time altering abilities, the only option for more time travellers to exist would have been if Ludmoore got a hold of the old, complete breath of time, since he's the only one with the recipe for the potion and from his first time travel onward, no more sand of time is available, but since he never got there, this explains why no other time travellers exist.

So Ludmoore went back in time, to Phobos' reign just before Elyon returned to Meridian. Using a fake name, so he wouldn't be recognized in history books in his present, he approached Phobos to sell him his time traveling potions, and Phobos used the opportunity to ask Ludmoore to weaken the veil. Ludmoore agreed, and used his magic to travel to earth into a time he felt comfortable with. Since Cedric never saw Ludmoore, and Phobos never mentioned Cedric to him (likely on purpose, as I feel his childhood emotional trauma coupled with his love for Cedric would leave him prone to a never-ending fear Cedric might, one day, meet someone he prefers over Phobos), Cedric would only have heard Ludmoores fake name and since neither of them were aware that Ludmoore created the portals, instead expecting him to weaken the veil even further in their time, they just assumed he failed and kind off forgot about him.

It was only when Ludmoore got to earth that he realized HE was the one to create the holes in the veil in the first place. From there on, we know the rest of his story.

Meanwhile, in Meridian, Elias van Dahl decided that he, for some reason, really needed to paint a portrait of Phobos against his explicit wishes - like, dude, there are so many things you could have painted, why Phobos? - and got himself persecuted. He got a hold of one of the three time travel potions Phobos bought, and used it to escape.

Fearing he might use the extra years gained from this to create a massive rebellion scheme, Phobos sent Cedric after him, using up the remaining two potions for his back and forth travel. Rip Phobos' money.

Now, as promised, I have another take, which does not explain Elias van Dahl and Cedrics time travel, but I somehow just prefer? It came to me from the discussion with @sp1c3m0nst3r about multiple princes in the past being named Phobos.

This theory would be that Ludmoore did, indeed, live a hundred years from the present in the story, and was ordered to weaken the veil by a different prince Phobos, for whatever reason.

This theory builds more heavily on how I believe the book of elements to work. I might dedicate a post to this entirely in the future, but for now, it's enough to know that I think it works like a book for those in it, in that it displays what they would picture if reading the written words - think how the more of the girls are present, the more details we see, and how Ludmoore looks so different in chapter 2's flashback than in person. So, since they don't know it's a different prince Phobos Ludmoore talked to, the one they know is portrayed.

I just feel like this one takes less weird leaps and somehow fits the overall tone and story better? But this might be personal preference.

Last but not least, since this is kinda on the same topic: after some back and forth consideration, I do not think the dinosaurs in the book of elements are a product of Ludmoores time travels, as much as that would have been a great thing to include.

This is mainly due to two facts:

- if they were, the chapter should have been before the one where he's trapped in the book

- the dinosaurs are just so damn inaccurate, and he, being a scientist, would have likely described them in more detail, drawing attention to how they differed from popular belief during the early 20th century, so the girls would likely not just have imagined the stereotypical animals displayed

I believe that, since the chapter is called "Matt", this is the one Matt wrote, and likely Ludmoore was just like "create a highly dangerous environment that will stop my enemies and suit my new giant pet lizard" and Matt's controlled mind - remember, Cedric states he has a pounding headache that makes thinking difficult while Ludmoore controls him - did the best it could. (This should work since I don't think the island Matt stranded on is the same the girls go to, but including the reason for this would, I think, go too far off topic and take up a lot of space. I might touch on it in the aforementioned post on the book of elements, though)

Thank you for reading to the end!

This one was a bit convoluted, and I'm pretty sure I still missed some important points that likely render this theory useless, so again, feel free to agree, argue or add anything you like! I look forward to hearing your ideas on this

[heavenlyeros]

you know how much I love glowy colourful things so of course I had to make the jardaan just like that. below the cut a long ramble on my headcanons about them

ko-fi || commissions

While thinking about who the jardaan could've possibly been I came up with the idea that they had some form of elemental powers, on a very small scale, much like the bioelectricity they gave the angara. Whether some of that was naturally there or they genetically gifted themselves is a wholly different can of worms. But yes.

I think they decided to terraform the whole cluster because they could. Their society had gotten to a point where they had the knowledge and resources to do it, and I think amongst the many differences of their many cultures they did share the trait of being deeply attuned to life. They might have been inspired by these elemental powers and wanted to apply them on an inconceivably massive scale - by altering planets to support life similar to their own.

Obviously, they must've gotten to a point where they simply didn't know what to do with so much habitable space. There's a few small remnant sites on the surface of most planets, but otherwise little sign of anyone living on them. Why would they go through all that trouble to just live underground? The vaults are humongous, and it did make me wonder if perhaps the jardaan cannot live in sunlight - perhaps a fault of their own bioengineering they're yet to fix, perhaps by nature. But instead of altering planets to accommodate themselves, they wanted to create life that could fully enjoy light - the plants, the animals, finally the angara.

Meridian where the jardaan might actually have lived is artificially lit, no? So perhaps it is starlight/sunlight which the angara need and love that the jardaan cannot live in. They would've made the centre of their vault network a habitable place for themselves.

So yes, I think they started out with just terraforming worlds and observing the simplest organisms that came to be on their own over a long period of time, and worked from that to create their own flora and eventually fauna that thrives in the sun. They got the chance to properly study organisms that, because of the whole sunlight thing, were very different to themselves (and quite possibly most other life from their homeworld?). And after that? They wanted to go bigger. They had learned how to facilitate and create life. It was time to make it sapient.

Their shape is inspired by that one statue in the game, which Avela mentions to look very strange and different to the angara. Whether that's the artist's touch, an earlier angaran model (either in game development or in angaran bioengineering), or an actual jardaan, I just really liked the idea of them being pointier and larger. They have the connected fingers they gave the angara and the fins and the crests, but everything is sharper, and they are tall and wide. Basically the angara are small, soft, colourful versions of the jardaan. If they were going to create life they would create it differently, but going by my headcanon that the angara were their first sapient creation I imagine they wouldn't have strayed too far from what they knew works. I also think by that point the jardaan would've managed to pretty much perfect their own DNA, so it wasn't a case of simply creating a genetically flawless version of their species - simply one that could live under very different conditions. They wanted to make a new people and give them the opportunity of their own life while still allowing them to fit into jardaan society without many special adjustments that would come with different biology, sans the sunlight part, for which they'd have lamps.

The jardaan are naturally bioluminescent, so the markings are not painted on. They started out as random splotches and freckles and stripes but were eventually just genetically engineered into various decorative patterns over many generations. I'm yet to decide if the colour is genetic or if it changes depending on mood (maybe it doesn't change but certain colours are associated with certain traits, and they put that into the design of the remnant bots, like green being serene and red being protective). Perhaps, even, the bioluminescent particles are under a first layer of translucent skin and the patterns can change. Vague memories of these might've inspired the face paint/tattoos we see some angara wear.

As a people so deeply attuned to everything living, they decided to go for the same visual feel to the architecture meant to bring whole worlds to life. Amongst their powers it was the bioelectricity they used to operate all of this machinery, so that's what they gave the angara to begin with. I think the angara were still very much a work in progress, centuries after the first truly living beings.

I'm fairly sure scanning the structures on Habitat 7 at the start of the game mentions they are only 300-400 years old, meaning the jardaan kept building the network for further expansion up until the scourge hit.

I really enjoy the theory of the jardaan having made the angara to be soldiers (I do like myself some delightful darkness and the irony of their situation when we meet them, long after the jardaan left). But for my main headcanon, I think they made them to be their equals, and they were cherished creations. The angara got to experience and live things the jardaan could not, and share all that with them. Perhaps the jardaan did not even want to change themselves and living underground went far beyond just biology. But in any case, most of all the jardaan simply loved being able to breathe life into worlds, and found the creation and nurturing of the angara very fulfilling.

With the jardaan preferring to dwell underground or in dark space it'd also make sense why we don't stumble upon any signs of life from them, though they're probably actively hiding as well. I do wonder if the jardaan were created themselves (which could play into the shortcomings of their own biology that they hadn't yet overcome) and also whether it was other jardaan (opposed to the angara, perhaps also somehow involved with the kett?) or even their own creators who made the scourge, rather than a random adversary. What happened to this enemy anyway? Sure the jardaan are hiding, but we don't meet anyone hunting them? Perhaps because they stopped doing what was bothering this enemy to begin with - working on the angara.

I believe the angara were well aware of the jardaan at the beginning, and interacted a lot, as the jardaan originally intended. Maybe in an attempt to see where life goes on its own that was reduced to a select few from each angaran group as the centuries went on (political drama?), but there would've still been plenty of angara familiar with the jardaan before the scourge. After that, the jardaan didn't run off and hide just to protect themselves - they did it to keep the angara safe, too. Perhaps without interference by a greater power the enemy would leave them alone.

Tl;dr the jardaan are big and bioluminescent, they have little elemental powers that inspired them to terraform, they cannot live in sunlight so they created creatures who can enjoy it, and they love the angara very much

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Next up: clothing them, and also Sjefa somehow stumbles upon a small covenant of jardaan and many awed cuddle piles ensue.

[theradioghost]

I don't know if you're still doing podcast recs, but if you are, I really like dramas, horror, sci-fi, honestly anything that gives you the feels (especially if it has lgbtq+ rep). I am not much of a comedy person though unfortunately. The only podcast I finished was tma and I really loved it.

The recommendations are always on tap here, whenever my askbox is open! You might wanna check out:

Archive 81, for a found-footage horror about mysterious archives of tapes full of encounters with otherworldly horror, dark rituals, cults, and a long-suffering archivist with the same name as the show creator who plays him, which despite all that could not possibly be more different from TMA and yet easily matches it as one of the best horror stories I have ever enjoyed. The sound design on this show is basically unparalleled – where TMA has fairly minimalist sound design, A81 goes all out. Quite a few lgbtqa+ folk also.

I Am In Eskew, for a surreal, Lynchian horror about the city of Eskew, where it’s always raining and the streets are never the same twice, as narrated by a man who is trapped there and the woman hired to find him. Take the most viscerally disturbing episodes of TMA as a baseline for how intense this show is, then imagine the Spiral built a city and invited all the other fears over for a party. Also right up there as one of my favorite horror things ever, and recently ended, so you can listen to the whole thing right now.

Within The Wires, for a found-footage scifi dystopia, telling stories from an alternate-history world. Three of the four seasons focus on lgbtqa+ leads, and the first season, a set of instructional meditation tapes provided to a prisoner in a shadowy government institution, is still some of my absolute favorite creative use of medium and framing device ever.

Kane and Feels, for a surreal noir-flavored urban fantasy/horror hybrid, about a magically-inclined academic (and sarcastic little bastard man) named Lucifer Kane and his demon-punching partner with a heart of gold, Brutus Feels. They share a flat in London, they bicker like an old married couple, and they fight supernatural evil. This show WILL confuse the hell out of you and you will enjoy every second of it.

Alice Isn’t Dead, for a weird Americana horror story about a long-distance truck driver, criss-crossing the US in search of her missing wife. Along the way she discovers that both of them have been drawn into a dangerous secret war that seethes in the empty and abandoned expanses of America, and that inhuman hunters have begun to follow her. Also finished! And as the title kind of gives away, the lesbians do not die!

Janus Descending, for a sci-fi horror miniseries about two scientists sent to survey the remains of a dead alien civilization on a distant planet, only to learn all too well why the original inhabitants have disappeared. You hear one character’s story in chronological order and the other in reverse, with their perspectives alternating, which is done in an incredibly clever way so that even technically knowing what will happen it still holds you in suspense right to the end. Also, it made me cry, a lot.

SAYER, for a sci-fi horror with a touch of dark comedy, and probably the single best use of the “evil AI” trope I have ever seen. Tells the story of employees of tech corporation Aerolith Dynamics living on Earth’s artificial second moon, Typhon, in the form of messages from their AI overseer SAYER. The first season is great, the second season is okay, and the third and fourth seasons are fucking amazing.

Tides, for a really interesting sci-fi about a lone biologist trapped on an alien world shaped by deadly tidal forces. It’s different from just about any other sci-fi I know, focusing more on the main character’s interactions with and observations of this strange new world, where she’s very aware that she is the alien invader. (Also I don’t think any of the characters are straight.)

Station to Station, for a thrilling sci-fi mystery where a group of scientists and spies on a research ship (the ocean kind) discover that the time-warping anomaly they’re studying might be causing people to vanish from existence. Corporate espionage and high-stakes heartbreak abound. (And once again I’m not sure anyone is straight.)

The Strange Case of Starship Iris, for Being Gay And Doing Crime IN SPACE! Or, decades after a war with an alien species leaves humanity decimated and under the control of totalitarian leaders, the lone survivor of a research mission joins up with a ragtag crew of rebels and smugglers to figure out why the very government she worked for tried to kill her, and to stop them from inciting a second war. 100% lgbtqa+ found family in space heist action and it’s glorious in every way.

Unwell, for the horror-ish Midwestern gothic story of a young woman who returns to her hometown to help her estranged mother after an injury, and discovers that there is something just a little bit wrong, not just with her mother, but with her mother’s house, and with the whole town. Subtle and creepy. The protagonist is a biracial lesbian, one of the other major characters is nonbinary, the cast in general is super diverse.

The Blood Crow Stories, for an lgbtqa+ focused horror anthology! The four seasons so far have been the stories of an ancient evil stalking the passengers of a WWI-era utopian cruise ship, a dark Western mystery about a group of allies trying to stop the mysterious killer known only as the Savior, a 911 operator in a cyberpunk dystopia who starts getting terrifying phone calls from demons, and strange and deadly goings-on at a film studio in the golden age of Hollywood. Everyone is Very Gay and anyone can die, especially in season 1.

The Tower, for a melancholy experimental miniseries about a young woman who decides she’s going to climb the mysterious Tower, from which no one has ever returned. Quite short and very, very good.

Palimpsest, for a creepy, heartbreakingly sad and yet incredibly beautiful anthology series. Season one is the story of a woman who suspects her new home is haunted, season two is a turn-of-the-century urban fantasy about a girl who falls in love with the imprisoned fae princess she’s been hired to care for, and season three is about a WWII codebreaker who begins seeing ghosts on the streets of London during the Blitz.

Mabel, for a part-horror, part-love story, the kind of faerie tale where you feel obliged to spell it with an E because these are the kind of faeries that are utterly inhuman, and beautiful, and dangerous. Anna, the new caretaker for an elderly woman, leaves messages for her client’s mysteriously absent granddaughter Mabel. An old house in Ireland has a life and desires of its own, few of them friendly. Two women fall in love and set out for vengeance against the King Under The Hill. Creepy, strange, and gorgeously poetic.

Ars Paradoxica, for a sci-fi time travel Cold War espionage thriller. Physicist Dr. Sally Grissom accidentally invents time travel, landing herself – and her invention – in the middle of a classified government experiment during WWII. As the course of history utterly changes around them, she and what friends she can find in this new time must struggle with the ethics of what they’ve done, and the choices they’ll have to make. An aroace protagonist, Black secret agents, time-traveling Latina assassins, Jewish lesbian mathematicians, two men of color whose love changes the course of time itself, this show says a big fuck you to the idea that there’s anything hard about having a diverse cast in a period piece and it will break your heart, multiple times. Also finished!

The Far Meridian, for a genre-bending, poetic, at-times-heartwarming-at-times-heartbreaking story about an agoraphobic woman named Peri who decides to begin a search for her long-missing brother Ace after the lighthouse in which she lives begins mysteriously transporting to different places every day. I can never forget an early review that described this show as “the audio equivalent of a Van Gogh painting.” Suffice to say it is beautiful, and fantastically written and put together.

What’s the Frequency?, for a Surrealist noir horror mystery set in mid-20th-century LA. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I can really explain what goes on in this show, but it features a detective named Walter “Troubles” Mix and his partner Whitney searching for a missing writer. Meanwhile, the only thing that seems to be playing on the radio is that writer’s show Love, Honor, and Decay, which also seems to be driving people to murder. Fantastically weird, deliciously creepy.

Directive, for a short sci-fi miniseries about a man hired to spend a very, very long trip through space alone, which doesn’t seem all that sad until suddenly it hits you with Every Feel You’ve Ever Had, seriously I don’t want to spoil it so I won’t say anything more but listen to this and then never feel the same way about Tuesdays again.

Wolf 359, for honestly one of the best podcasts out there, containing all of the drama and feels, seriously this show ended over two years ago and I still cry literal tears thinking about it sometimes. It has definite comedic leanings, especially in the first season which reads a bit more like a wacky office comedy set in space, but it takes a sharp turn towards high stakes, action, and feelings and that roller coaster never stops. Take four clashing personalities alone on a constantly-malfunctioning space station eight light years from earth, add some mysterious transmissions from the depths of space, toss in some seriously Jonah-Magnus-level manipulative evil bosses, and get ready to cry.

or, may I suggest Midnight Radio? It’s a lesbian-romance-slash-ghost-story completed miniseries about a late-night 1950s radio host in a small town who begins receiving mysterious letters from one of her listeners, and I have been assured by many people and occasionally their all-caps tweets that it provides ample Feelings! (also I wrote it.)

[vimesbootstheory]

Reviews for books covered in episodes 111-120 of the Overdue podcast. Spoilers for "Across a Hundred Mountains" in particular. Discussion of death, gore and genocide (including infant death) for "Blood Meridian" discussion.

1. The Color Purple by Alice Walker 2. Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne 3. The Passage by Justin Cronin 4. Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman 5. Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury 6. The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell 7. You Shall Know Our Velocity! by Dave Eggers 8. The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde 9. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn 10. The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury

. . .

12. Batman: The Long Halloween by Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale

13. Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay -- I don't trust the kind of person who can read this book and not fall at least a little bit in love with Roxane Gay. All the best parts of Bad Feminist are the bits that are the most personal, the closest to Roxane's own story, the standout being the entire section on competitive Scrabble. These are also the parts that are the most novel and have the least well-tread ground, and the flipside of this is that outside of those exceptions, I can't say that I learned much from this book. It's a more moderate approach to feminism than I'm used to, which is fine, it just means that it didn't push me out of my comfort zone at all, and maybe I wanted this book to push me out of my comfort zone. But then again, that's not Roxane's job. It was nice just to have some of those familiar feminist sentiments in front of my eyeballs in print. I will say, my eyes glazed over when she discussed pop culture material that I was unfamiliar with, but that is perhaps a byproduct of this maybe not being intended to be read cover-to-cover, but more as you would choose to read certain blog posts over others when browsing a blog. In any case, I was familiar with most topics she covered, so this was a rare issue.

14. All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque

. . .

17. Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons

18. How Not to Write a Novel by Howard Mittlemark & Sandra Newman -- I love a craft book on writing, so I pretty much devoured this. A funny, if dated, read -- did not love the occasional transphobic joke, they were jarring reminders of how far we've come just in the past ten years. A lot of the tips were pretty obvious -- avoid being a racist, give your main villain motivation beyond just being evil, etc. Some are actually a little outdated, e.g. it used to be very in-vogue to advise writers to start immediately when things get exciting, maybe even in media res, but now wise writing advisors know that you have to develop your character a little first or the reader won't care about the action. There was the odd tip that made me tempted to pick up a hard copy and highlight, though it ultimately didn't happen frequently enough for me to take the trip to the bookstore.

I liked the what-not-to-do example passages, though after a while I started to become tempted to skip over them, since I was generally more interested in the idea being criticized than how the execution of that idea would read. I did roll my eyes a bit at the very 00s-brand feminist choice to default to she/her pronouns; please, for all that is holy, embrace the singular they. My himbos and enbies are writing books too, my guy.

19. Looking for Alaska by John Green

. . .

25. The Mummy, or Ramses the Damned by Anne Rice

26. Sabriel by Garth Nix -- I don't tend to really get into high fantasy, so it's a saving grace of this book that it has some necessary diversions from the usual formula, and it ended up being a pretty fun read, reminded me a bit in tone of the HDM series (though HDM is better). I enjoyed Sabriel as a character, even though I wish we'd been able to see her interact with a greater diversity of characters, I wasn't a huge fan of either of the other two main characters, found them to be watered-down versions of better characters. For a better Mogget, read the Bartimaeus series. I've heard this book accused of being a clear example of a female main character as written by a man, and for the most part I don't see it, although her complete dearth of important female influences in her life is a glaring exception. I really enjoyed the worldbuilding, especially the concepts involved with necromancy and Death, less so all the Charter stuff.

27. Girl With a Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier

. . .

32. The Secret History by Donna Tartt

33. Mr. Popper's Penguins by Richard & Florence Atwater -- This was a light, charming read. I like how it's fanciful and ridiculous (thanks to Richard) all plastered over with a semi-sensible finish (thanks to Florence). Very cute. Weird to think of people not being aware of penguins to the point that they would not recognize one if it paraded past them on the street, though it must have been the case at the time of writing.

34. Moby-Dick by Herman Melville 35. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

36. The Borrowers by Mary Norton -- A cozy tale, I liked it. The world-building for the borrowers is constantly amusing; I knew to anticipate all the fun little scaled-down equivalencies -- swimming in soups, using thread spools as stools, that sort of thing -- but the sociological world-building ended up being more interesting. I loved reading about the pride and entitlement of the Borrowers, and how they assumed that human "beans" were dying off, simply because they hadn't seen many in that house in particular. Loved the family-to-family differences based on where in the house they'd settled in. The ambiguity of the ending was an unexpected joy, in a funny way. I usually hate ambiguous endings but this one worked for me, even if the existence of the sequels spoil the ambiguity.

37. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde 38. A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest J Gaines

39. Across a Hundred Mountains by Reyna Grande -- My favourite part of this book was the language. Grande has deft control over telling a story with simple, effective, unobtrusive language. It's an easy read, despite very heavy content. Juana is an emotionally compelling character, as is her mother, albeit in a different way. You can't help but wish that the world would let up on her, and indeed, at times it feels like the book is laying on the misery a little thick.

You can't really talk about the ultimate impression of this book without talking about its "twist" so SPOILERS:

My experience with the Fight Club-esque twist is that it took me... maybe about 2-3 Adelina chapters to figure out that there was something screwy going on with her identity. I had two competing theories: either a) Adelina was Juana, or b) at some point, Juana died with Adelina in her debt, so Adelina takes up her quest to find her father. It was too convenient, otherwise, why two characters would be searching for the same thing with such a lopsided share of attention given to Juana over Adelina. An odd turning point was when Adelina meets not-Miguel, the TBI sufferer, which honestly still doesn't really make sense to me. Yes, it's possible that a man with the same name and similar memories would exist, but the first time I read it, I assumed that Adelina was lying and choosing to let her father move on. Alternatively, both of my running feelings were wrong and Adelina had run into Juana's dad without knowing who he was. If I had been Grande's editor, I would have removed this encounter, as I think it's the weakest element any way you slice it.

40. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James

41. Outlander by Diana Gabaldan -- The most frustrating part of this reading experience came after-the-fact, from trying to have a discussion in good faith with Gabaldon fans about legitimate criticisms of the book. There is a fair amount to praise about this book, but it's got its problems. In my experience, Gabaldon fans won't hear about the latter; to hear them talk about it, you'd think all the events of this book really happened, and Gabaldon was just a faithful scribe putting it all on paper. So, let me be direct about this: This all came out of Gabaldon's brain, and she chose to write this story. Writing a book that revolves mainly around rape drama and corporal punishment, featuring a villain whose arc serves as a walking argument for queer men being sexual deviants, involves specific authorial choices that Gabaldon was under no obligation to make, and she is answerable to criticism for these choices. Deal with it. Coming back to things to praise, I enjoyed Claire as a character a lot. Though I was sometimes frustrated with her, it was mostly for Doylist reasons, e.g. why was she written in such a contrived way that she would feel almost instantly acclimated once she time travelled into the past? I love a good fish-out-of-water time travel arc and I felt robbed of that. Though I didn't love all the focus on rape as drama, I did appreciate Gabaldon giving time to how rape is just as traumatic for men (though if it had been a woman doing the raping, would it have been as sensitive a portrayal? I can't exactly know)... but then there's the caveat of Jamie's sexual harassment by the Duke being treated as a joke. The running theme is good points with caveats, is what I'm saying. Here, I'll end with a plus with no caveats: I liked the adventure aspects of the story a lot, especially the final heist to save Jamie, that was a lot of fun. The novel ends on a good note.

42. The Giver by Lois Lowry

. . .

63. The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe

64. Everything and Nothing by Jorge Luis Borges -- Read Borges' contribution only. Clever and conceptual, with a strong thesis. I'd read more of him.

65. In Cold Blood by Truman Capote

66. The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë -- This book is my favourite of the loose genre of "idle rich British people entangled in romance plots based entirely on lack of communication" that I've defined in my head, on the merits of its feminism. This book sold me very quickly on Helen, and I was instantly on her side when her neighbours decided to try to tell her how to raise her own kid and made out like she was being unreasonable for not allowing randos to dictate how she should parent. Ridiculous. Couldn't help but continue to root for her throughout her torment of a marriage. She can be a little holier-than-thou but that's alright, it just gives her an interesting flaw. I find the epistolary format to strain my patience a little, and its place in the final third-ish in particular provoked incredulity. Gilbert is a dumbass and doesn't deserve Helen at all. This book gave me Opinions about the relative merits of the Brontë siblings and that was something I really didn't need.

67. A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway

. . .

96. The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides

97. A Boy and His Dog by Harlan Ellison -- If you've never read anything written by an edgy teenage boy, I could see how one could find Ellison's writing unique and interesting. Since I've read a lot of that niche of fiction (rarely on purpose), this all seems very mundane. It reads like a Fallout fanfiction written by a sexually frustrated youth about the age of the titular Boy. The efforts to shock prompted more than one eye-roll. The casual take on sexual violence read like someone's teenage rape fantasy, and gives the reader the impression of an uncomfortable peek into what Ellison jacks off to when he's feeling particularly restless. The fate of the residents of the underground society was pretty predictable. I liked that there were talking dogs, though. Fallout doesn't have talking dogs.

98. Foundation by Isaac Asimov

. . .

116. The Stand by Stephen King 117. Grendel by John Gardner 118. Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut 119. Persuasion by Jane Austen 120. Beowulf by Unknown 121. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

122. Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy -- Wow, am I ever glad to be finished this book. This was exhausting to read. I'll get the good out of the way fast: it's undeniably excellent prose. The descriptions are extremely vivid and well-phrased. You can't exactly say that McCarthy didn't achieve maximally gruesome descriptions of death and dead things. The thing is, it's too much. I don't consider myself a wuss when it comes to gore, but when it becomes so overwhelming that it feels like the author is including me in his weird little fetish without my consent; and, on a bigger note, when the onslaught of gore is SO constant that it actually becomes boring, that's when you've gone too far. Because yeah, a good chunk of this book is pretty damn boring because there's nothing in it but description after description of people being killed in grotesque but minimally inventive ways. It's not even a case of desensitization, I don't think, because it doesn't sensitize you to the deaths to begin with. At no point does the narrative treats the victims of violence as actual people, they're more like horror movie set dressing. Early on, I had a glimmer of hope that maybe it would end up being unintentionally funny; this was hinted at when the gang stumbles upon, of all things, a tree filled with dead babies. I literally laughed out loud. OK edgelord, I get it, you're very grimdark. Seriously, dead babies are an extremely stale shorthand for shock value -- remember those old dead baby jokes? I found that I couldn't even muster any anger at the fact that there are zero significant female characters in this book, since a) characterization of all the characters was pretty lacklustre, such that I frequently forgot characters' names, and b) I wasn't exactly going to root for a diversity win in a troupe of scalp hunters. I knew going into this book that it would be brutal, but at the very least I had thought that it would have something Important to say about the genocide of the Native Americans. Unfortunately, in the end the politics were a little too Bioshock Infinite, oh-no-both-sides-are-too-extreme-actually fuckin nonsense.

123. Fifty Shades Darker by EL James 124. Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James 125. Portnoy’s Complaint by Philip Roth

[harcidian]

fic writer interview

thank you so much for tagging me, @lantur and @bringingglory (I remembered you tagged me a few weeks ago and I only got to do it now hahah)

Name: hannah, meridianheroine on AO3 and Fanfiction 

Fandoms: actively writing for Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood / FMA Manga. I’ve also written for Pokemon and Vocaloid back in 2012-2014 but please don’t search for it LOL

I only got back to writing last July 2020, so I don’t have much fics to compare yet

(Most popular) oneshot: none so far, but I have a wip entitled “epiphany”, a royai scar-burning oneshot

two-shot: whiskey on ice, amber-brown eyes. Roy grieves for Hughes and Riza joins him in his drinking session, ongoing, also building it to be smut too

(Most popular) multichapter: Roy and Riza Observation Journal, ongoing, a prequel for “meridian”

Actual worst part of writing: editing! I’m so shy to ask for beta, so I usually take intervals to edit my own writing (you know what they say, you are your worst critic!). Then there’s also planning he he it takes so long, but it still changes over time. As tedious they may get sometimes, I still love these two processes of writing, it makes me more satisfied with my work.

How you choose your titles: a word or phrase that encapsulates the entire plot! 

Do you outline: Yes! Maybe I got used to studying too much 😆 Inspiration strikes at the most random of times (in class, in the shower, while taking care of my niece) and so I have to write it down asap before I forget! Sometimes I couldn’t write down everything my brain dictates. But I always leave some room for spontaneity. I usually outline the chapters, writing the main events that need to happen. Kind of like having a starting and finish line, but the route to reach “the end” is up to me while I write. I guess that’s one reason why people say my writing is fluid (because it literally just flows out of me!)

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: I’m alright with any kind of idea that pops into my head! But if I sort them out, I think it would be portraying Roy as a real womanizer. yanumii told me that Roy was too squeaky clean in FMA:B compared to the manga, but too much of an asshole in FMA 2003. I’m tempted to add this trait to him,,,,,, or something just like it. It could be because he has always been impulsive? hmmmm this has always been at the far corners of my mind.

Callouts @ Me: Chill out dude. You don’t have to do things and finish things all at once. Your hobbies aren’t school, they don’t demand an inconsiderate deadline! Trust in the process because art takes time. As Professor Oak says, “There is a time for everything. But not now.”

Best writing traits: Characterization, descriptions, and unique plot, according to what most of my readers praise. But they all boil down to characterization haha, because I base every element of a story in the character’s personality and tendencies. I always analyze everything I read or watch (whether I like it or not LOL) and I find parallelisms between characters. Then I think, “What happens if they meet? How would they react? What would they say?”. I love exploring the characters and maximize what they can do, inspired by Hiromu Arakawa and Leigh Bardugo.

Spicy Tangential Opinion: Reviews can either make or break a story. It could enhance a story when a reader helps the writer see the big picture, because they tend to obsess with details and forget to take a step back and check if it all adds up. Although readers don’t always notice the connections writers make, they can always tell if writers rushed the plot or create inconsistent characterization. But the sad thing is, writers sometimes do it to address what the readers want. A lot of writers give in to review pressure, which drastically changes what they have planned for their story. I think it’s best to remember that the story belongs to the writer, and that we can’t please anyone, or that life doesn’t always please us. But all in all, I think it’s most important to know what you want and choose reviews that will enhance you, not break you down. 

Thanks for listening to my Ted talk 😆

I tag @jeanhaavoc​, @priscilla-dm , @megthemighty, @fullmetal-hellmouthchemist, @annespelledwithane, @thatisadamnfinecupofcoffee, @ymir-me​ , @borkthemork , @lilisky​, @by-nina​, and anyone else who would love to do this! No pressure tho it’s alright if you don’t!

[babysizedfics]

Little Accidents, Big Developments

Chapter 2: Nighttime Confessions

[This is an age regression story]

Chapter Summary:

Roman doesn’t like bedtime, Patton and Logan discuss affection, and Virgil wakes up in the middle of the night.

Chapter word count: 5,500

Other chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / bonus

Read on AO3 or below the cut!

oOo

The door to Logan’s room felt unreasonably heavy as he pushed it open with a tired sigh. He did not bother closing it behind him, instead letting it fall shut on its own in favour of immediately flopping face-first onto his bed. The door slammed shut a little harder than he would’ve liked and he winced into his pillow. Hopefully, the sound hadn’t been loud enough to reach either Roman or Virgil’s bedrooms.

 Tonight both boys had been little right up until bedtime and so required both Patton and Logan’s help in getting prepared for bed. As was expected given Virgil’s clear preference for the paternal side, Patton had taken charge of his bedtime which meant Logan was left to handle Roman’s bedtime.

 Hence Logan’s current exhaustion.

 It had taken a great deal of effort to even convince Roman to change into his pyjamas, let alone to stop bouncing around as he rambled about a new idea he had for a game. Logan, of course, commended his creativity, though reminded him that they would have to wait until the following day to put it into practice.

 Roman had not appreciated that. He wanted to play with Virgil at that very moment and was quite disheartened to hear that it was Virgil’s bedtime and his baby brother would be too tired to play with him. Learning that it was also his bedtime had been far more cause for concern for Roman. It had taken a multitude of bargaining on Logan’s part to get Roman to agree to get into bed. Even then, it still took some coercion to get him to stop complaining and at least try to go to sleep.

 Bedtime had been at 10 pm. It was now coming up to 10:45 and Logan had only just been able to leave Roman, who was finally (thankfully) drifting off in his bed.

 Logan flipped over on his mattress, mentally preparing himself to get up again and get ready for bed himself. Though an energetic knocking sounded at his door before he had the chance.

 He lugged himself up from his bed and over to the door, rubbing at his face wearily.

 ‘Roman,’ Logan sighed as he opened the door, ‘if that’s you I don’t want to hear any more whining.’

 Patton stood in his doorway smiling from ear to ear.

 ‘Patton,’ Logan greeted, sure that his relief was quite obvious in the way his shoulders sagged. ‘Is everything alright?’

 ‘Yes, gosh, everything's amazing!’ Patton near-squealed and Logan hurriedly beckoned him into his room. Patton seemed dangerously close to yelling and Logan did not want Roman hearing it and then getting excited himself.

 ‘What has caused you such great elation at this late hour?’ Logan asked, feeling himself smile at the pure joy on Patton’s face.

 ‘You should’ve seen how cute Virgil was!’ Patton immediately gushed, and Logan was glad he had managed to close the door behind them quickly. ‘Oh my goodness, Lo. He was so sleepy and adorable! At first, he was nervous about being left alone, but then I switched on that star nightlight you got him and his face just lit up.’

 ‘Was that a pun?’ Logan narrowed his eyes.

 ‘I don’t even know anymore!’ Patton cried giddily, his eyes sparkling with happy tears.

 Logan chuckled and leaned his back against the wall, sure that Patton was nowhere near finished.

 ‘Gosh, he was so happy,’ Patton said and started pacing quickly around Logan’s room, dispelling his excited energy. ‘Then I just sat by his bed for like twenty minutes stroking his hair and he was so calm then - oh my gosh - then he reached up and held my finger, Lo!’ Patton held up his finger in demonstration, his eyes wide with awe. ‘His whole hand wrapped around my finger, how friggin’ cute is that? Then he told me he loved me and he just fell straight asleep! Ahh, it was so adorable!’

 By the end of his monologue, Patton’s voice had become so strangled and high-pitched that it was barely recognisable.

 ‘That does sound charming,’ Logan agreed, and couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous.

 He was not in any way disappointed that he had taken care of Roman rather than Virgil. He was equally fond of both of them even if Roman did require much more energy to look after. Though Logan wished that Virgil would feel comfortable enough with him that Logan might experience something similar to what Patton had just described. 

 ���It sounds like a positive bonding experience,’ Logan smiled stiffly.

 Patton’s grin faltered. After taking a deep breath, presumably to calm himself from his excitement, he moved to settle beside Logan against the wall.

 ‘So… How was Roman?’ Patton asked.

 From his careful tone, he apparently knew it would not have been such a simple experience getting the older little to go to bed.

 ‘Next time we’re switching,’ Logan said simply.

 ‘That bad, huh?’ Patton still smiled, though it was twisted by sympathy.

 ‘I… wouldn’t say bad, necessarily,’ Logan said. As much as Roman’s protests exhausted him, there was something in the whole routine that had brought Logan some comfort despite the stress. ‘Though it was foolish of me to believe that Roman could not possibly get more petulant.’

 ‘Poor little guy,’ Patton pouted, then looked to their feet in thought. ‘Do you maybe think his bedtime should -’

 ‘No,’ Logan interrupted. ‘We are not delaying his bedtime.’

 ‘But if he was so upset about it…’ Patton said.

 ‘It was a reflexive response more than anything,’ Logan replied. ‘I think he just wanted an excuse to act childish. Besides, as soon as I read him a story he went straight to bed. He was clearly just reluctant to admit that he really was tired.’

 ‘Aww, you read him a story?’ Patton asked in delight. ‘That’s so cute!’

 ‘It was a purely tactical approach,’ Logan said hastily. ‘Being read to in a quiet, soothing tone can trigger an autonomous sensory meridian response in the listener’s brain. It is a widely used technique to effect deep relaxation in both children and adults alike.’

 ‘Mhm, of course. Purely tactical,’ Patton agreed, though he did not sound convinced.

 Logan’ gaze snapped onto Patton to find a knowing smirk being directed towards him.

 ‘Did you do funny voices?’ The mischievous lilt to Patton’s tone was hypnotising, and Logan could not resist his imploring gaze for long.

 ‘Maybe,’ Logan finally admitted.

 It was impossible to keep a straight face when Patton burst into giggles like that.

 ‘Y’know, you don’t need to do that,’ Patton said after he had collected himself.

 ‘Do what?’

 ‘Pretend you don’t enjoy being Mama Logan,’ Patton said. His hand rested on Logan’s arm gently. ‘I know you love looking after the boys.’

 Logan couldn’t deny it. Though even if he wanted to, the tingling warmth spreading from where Patton’s fingers touched him had rendered him momentarily speechless.

 ‘And the boys love having you as a Mama,’ Patton added.

 ‘Well, let’s not assume,’ Logan murmured. The grip on his arm tightened.

 ‘Logan.’ Patton’s voice was hushed and strained. ‘I’m not assuming anything. I know that they love having you as a caregiver.’

 ‘How do you know?’ Logan asked. The clear desperation in his voice made him squirm.

 Patton’s gaze softened.

 ‘Well, in lots of ways,’ he said. ‘Just earlier, Roman couldn’t stop talking about playing Doctor Who with you yesterday.’

 ‘Yes, he was rather impressed by my Dalek impression,’ Logan nodded.

 ‘He didn’t talk about your impressions, silly,’ Patton chuckled, though Logan could not find it in himself to feel offended. ‘He talked about you. About how much fun it was to run around with you and spend the day laughing together.’

 ‘Oh,’ Logan breathed, feeling his heart swell.

 ‘And I guess Virgil might be a bit of a Papa’s boy -’

 Logan raised his eyebrows.

 ‘Alright, he definitely is,’ Patton corrected, ‘but I’ve seen the way he cuddles up to you when I’m not there.’

 Logan wanted to accept it, he really did. But he could not ignore all of the facts.

 ‘As you have just stated, that is only when you are unavailable,’ Logan said quietly. ‘I fear - I suspect that I am a mere substitute for his one true caregiver.’

 ‘Sorry, Logan, but you’re wrong this time,’ Patton said easily. ‘Do you know why Virgil felt so much better when I switched on his nightlight earlier?’

 ‘Because he is scared of the dark,’ Logan said. ‘They both are. Though I believe Roman’s fear is bordering on nyctophobia.’

 ‘No - well, yes,’ Patton conceded. ‘But Virgil’s salt lamp was already on.’

 Logan frowned, perplexed.

 ‘Why would the nightlight make him feel better if it was not to counteract a dark room?’

 ‘Because it’s from you,’ Patton whispered and nudged his side gently. ‘The nightlight made him happy because it reminded him of his mama.’

 Logan could not respond as his throat felt too tight all of a sudden. A smile tugged at his lips.

 ‘I know you don’t think so, but caregiving comes just as naturally to you as it does to me,’ Patton said. He leaned against Logan’s side slightly and Logan’s breath stalled in his chest. ‘Sure, we’re very different caregivers; you make sure they behave with rules and I probably spoil them with too many sweets. But just because I’m more cuddly than you doesn’t mean I’m a better dad.’

 ‘Thank you,’ Logan whispered, breathing deeply for the first time since the conversation had started.

 ‘Besides,’ Patton added cheerily, ‘you’ve been getting a lot better at showing affection with them.’ He paused, and Logan almost though he had finished speaking, but then Patton added in a more stunted tone: ‘And…’

 ‘And?’ Logan prompted, unable to tear his gaze away from how Patton chewed at his bottom lip.

 ‘With me,’ Patton whispered and met Logan’s eyes earnestly.

 The hand which had been resting on his arm all of this time snaked down to wrap around Logan’s wrist lightly.

 Pleasant shivers coursed through Logan’s veins at the contact and left him stunned. Patton’s fingers had been resting casually on his arm for most of the conversation, but this touch felt different somehow. The intent behind it was suddenly impossible to ignore.

 ‘Oh, shoot,’ Patton breathed, his eyes falling to the ground quickly, ‘I read this wrong, didn’t I?’

 Logan floundered over silent words that would not leave his lips. Patton’s hand hastily snatched off of his wrist.

 ‘I’m sorry, I - don’t mind me,’ Patton chuckled, though it was shaky and forced. ‘I’m just being silly. I’ll leave, don’t worry about it.’

 He had pushed away from the wall but did not get far as Logan hurriedly reached out to grab Patton’s hand. Their fingers intertwined on instinct. Logan’s cheeks heated exponentially.

 ‘Patton…’ he started but no matter how much he tried, he could not force his mouth to form any more words.

 He realised that, for once, language could not effectively express all that he wanted to say. It was terrifying. But as he had taught Roman, sometimes it was more effective to show rather than tell.

 He hesitantly moved forward, glad that Patton did not step away. It did not take much movement for Logan to be stood directly in front of him, certainly violating his personal space. Silence settled in the few centimetres between their faces. Logan thought he might be suffering from heatstroke. His palms were sweaty, his face burning and his head swimming as he impulsively closed the gap between their lips.

 The kiss was achingly short. Patton’s lips barely ghosted over Logan’s own before the logical side was hit full-force with the realisation of what he had just done. He snapped his head back with wide eyes.

 ‘I apologise, I should not have done that,’ Logan blurted, feeling as though his tongue was inexplicably too large for his mouth. ‘I have no idea what came over me to think I could kiss you without asking for your -’

 ‘Logan?’ Patton’s free hand came up to cup his jaw and Logan’s mouth snapped shut.

 ‘Hm?’ he hummed.

 ‘Shut up,’ Patton whispered fondly.

 Logan only had a brief second to see the spark of determination in his brown eyes before Patton pushed up and kissed him again.

 Their lips slotted together so effortlessly, Logan thought they might have been made for each other. He breathed out through his nose, the warm air bouncing straight off of Patton’s skin and back onto his own. The heat was unbearable matched with the burning of his cheeks, but he could not consider pulling back. Patton’s lips were soft and slid against his own in such a mesmerizing dance.

 A low sigh of content sounded in his throat and a muffled hum of agreement came from Patton in response. Logan could not contain a wide smile, and when Patton accidentally ended up kissing his front teeth they both broke down into breathy giggles.

 Reluctantly, Logan pulled away from him by a few inches so that they did not accidentally butt heads in their laughter. Patton’s hand fell to his shoulder and Logan responded by curling his own fingers around the nape of Patton’s neck. Through his fingertips, he could feel the shiver that coursed through Patton’s body.

 ‘That was,’ Logan paused to gasp an inhale, surprised by how breathless he was, ‘highly satisfactory.’

 ‘I’ll say,’ Patton agreed fervently. ‘I wasn’t sure you felt the same way.’

 ‘I am not certain of what “way” you mean,’ Logan said cautiously. He, of course, had his theory but he did not want to risk being wrong about something so significant. ‘Your phrasing was rather ambiguous.’

 ‘Whoops, I guess my brain’s just a bit frog -gy from the kiss,’ Patton said giddily, eyes brightening in the way they always did when he wanted to laugh at his own joke.

 ‘Ambiguous, not amphibious,’ Logan corrected, though he was somewhat glad for the Patton’s relapse into dad jokes. It was familiar and comforting and dispelled Logan’s anxieties about making an incorrect assumption. ‘I will hazard a guess at what you meant and be blunt: I harbour a romantic attraction towards you, Patton.’

 ‘Oh, thank goodness!’ Patton’s breath rushed from him.

 ‘I take it my assumption was correct,’ Logan smirked, but it was quickly swallowed by Patton’s lips.

 They kissed for a long time after that. Logan’s legs grew numb, but neither of them made a move to sit down or change position. They barely allowed themselves to stop for breath, let alone something so unimportant as moving. The only matter of importance to Logan right now was kissing Patton.

 Eventually, they slowed, pecking each other wherever they could reach between hushed words.

 ‘Did you notice Roman playing cupid?’ Patton asked against Logan’s cheek.

 ‘How could I not?’ Logan huffed in amusement. He kissed Patton’s eyebrow. ‘He wasn’t very subtle when his reason for braiding my hair was, and I quote, “to make you extra pretty so Dad will swoon and fall into your arms”.’ Patton snorted, interrupting the kiss he was pressing to Logan’s jaw. ‘I almost wanted to put him in timeout,’ Logan admitted.

 ‘Almost?’ Patton asked.

 ‘Well,’ Logan pulled back and looked at Patton with a smile curling one side of his lips, ‘his plan did work.’

 ‘Oh, I swooned for you long before that,’ Patton shook his head fondly and pushed a strand of Logan’s hair behind his ear. ‘I’m pretty sure Roman knew that already, though.’

 ‘He is frustratingly observant when it comes to romance,’ Logan said, stroking his thumb over Patton’s cheekbone.

 ‘Aw, he’s just passionate,’ Patton defended, then twisted his head to peck Logan’s wrist.

 ‘Even so,’ Logan sighed, feeling a pit in his stomach, ‘I dread the bombardment of invasive questions and interventions he would bestow upon us if he knew what we’ve been doing for the past -’ he checked his watch ‘- twenty-five minutes. Wow.’

 He leaned forward to kiss Patton’s nose but Patton curled back as if burned.

 ‘You don’t want anyone to know, do you?’ Patton asked, and the hurt in his tone was unbearable.

 ‘That is not what I meant,’ Logan quickly corrected. He gently carded his fingers through Patton’s hair as the moral side often did with Virgil and Roman. ‘Please know, it is not that I wish to hide my romantic feelings for you. I’ve hidden them for months and quite frankly I am tired of it.’

 ‘Months?’ Patton smiled.

 ‘Of course,’ Logan said softly. ‘And while this is a welcome development, it is also a significant one that will have a profound impact on the whole household.’ Patton started nodding. ‘Roman will be rather intense in his support, possibly to a fault. As for Virgil -’

 ‘Virgil doesn’t like change,’ Patton finished, sounding resigned. ‘No, I get it. I don’t want to upset anyone.’

 Logan pulled Patton’s hand up to his lips and kissed each one of his knuckles tenderly. Patton's breath shallowed.

 ‘I am certain they will be supportive when we do decide to tell them, but for now,’ Logan sighed gently and lowered Patton’s hand, ‘I believe it will be beneficial to our family dynamic if we maintain subtlety.’

 ‘It’s no problem, Lo,’ Patton shrugged with a smile. ‘I can be subtle, easy peasy mac and cheesy!’

 Logan felt a little put out by how easily Patton had said that.

 ‘Well,’ he straightened his posture and focussed on not letting his disappointment leak into his tone. ‘Don’t sound so sure. It may be harder than it sounds.’

 ‘Nah,’ Patton said flippantly and Logan saw a cheeky smile pull at his lips. ‘You’re not that irresistible.’

 Logan’s mouth dropped open in offence and Patton started giggling under his breath.

 So Logan swiftly ducked to Patton’s lips with the intention of proving him wrong.

 oOo

 Virgil gasped, his upper body flying up from the mattress. His breath came in short pants as he reached out in panic and grasped onto the first thing he could find. He frantically ran his trembling fingers over the object. Soft. Fluffy. Real.

 He clutched Minty to his chest tightly and a shaky exhale rushed from him. He was in his bed, in his room. He wasn’t hurt, no one was hurt. He was safe.

 His heart still pounded against his ribs and his head swam from the violent awakening, but he knew it would get better soon and he would be able to go back to sleep. Then he shifted on the mattress and froze.

 ‘No, no, no, no,’ he whispered in anguish as his stomach sank.

 He hid his face against his toy. He didn’t need to be able to see to know that his pyjama pants and sheets were soaked through. He gritted his teeth against a wince at the familiar feeling of wet cotton clinging to his skin.

 It never got any less upsetting when he wet the bed. He knew how to cope with it, of course. It happened often enough that he had a tried and tested routine that meant none of the light sides had ever discovered his embarrassing problem. He was at least relieved that he had thought to invest in an absorbent mattress protector when he first moved in. It saved him a lot of trouble. Though it didn’t exactly make this habit any less humiliating to deal with.

 Virgil usually jumped straight into action when he woke up to wet sheets, working on autopilot to clean up quickly and quietly. But at that moment he felt stuck. His legs were locked in place and his lip began wobbling.

 ‘Papa,’ he heard himself whimper.

 It was unexpectedly high-pitched and shaky and it jolted Virgil out of his haze.

 He tensed and growled in frustration. What was he doing?

 The hand that wasn't cradling Minty wrapped in his hair and pulled harshly at the locks. He didn’t need his papa, he had always dealt with this on his own. It was bad enough Patton had seen Virgil wet himself in the hallway 3 days previously, he didn’t need to see this too!

 Virgil eased the tugging on his hair and instead started stroking it absently. But when he had an accident last time he got lots of cuddles and kisses and it made it less scary. And the next day Papa said Virgil needed to go and get him if it happened again. Virgil didn’t want to be a bad baby.

 He felt his eyes burn with tears at the thought of dealing with his wet sheets all on his own, not getting any cuddles, and being told off for it.

 No, that wouldn’t happen! Virgil shook his head quickly, trying to make himself a grown-up. Why was he even debating the situation? He didn’t want anyone to know that he wet the bed, that was all there was to it. He wouldn’t get told off for not going to get his papa's help if Patton never even found out about this.

 With Minty still cuddled tightly to his chest, Virgil threw the covers off and stood on shaky legs. He looked down to the sheets. The sight of the wet patch sucked all determination from his body and he started trembling uncontrollably.

 He didn’t know what to do! The bed was soaked, his pants were soggy and cold, his skin was getting itchy, and there was a big, achey lump in his throat.

 He sniffled and brought his thumb up to his lips. He felt yucky. With a gasp, he remembered Papa was sitting next to his bed when Virgil went to sleep. He quickly looked over but the spot was empty now. He turned in a big circle. He couldn’t see Papa anywhere in the room!

 A whimper came from his throat and he hugged Minty tighter. The bright stars on the walls and ceiling made it a little bit less scary, but he still wanted his papa.

 The yellow hallway light shone through the crack under his door and Virgil realised what he needed to do. He needed to go and find Papa all on his own.

 He walked over to the door and opened it carefully, peeking out just in case Papa was waiting outside and wanted to surprise him.

 The hallway was empty. He took a really deep breath. Monsters only lived in the dark so he shouldn’t be scared of the brightly lit corridor. He jumped out from his room and ran across the hall really, really quick.

 He got to Papa’s door and knocked on it. Hopefully, he came straight out and hugged Virgil! He didn’t like standing on his own ever, but especially not in wet pants. They made him feel small and scared.

 Papa didn’t come to the door and Virgil felt a sharp stab in his chest. 

 He knocked again, a lot louder.

 When there was no response Virgil felt some invisible force weigh down his mind so that he felt much more present in his body. Patton was an incredibly light sleeper, the slightest gust of wind would wake him up. Something wasn’t right.

 Virgil quickly pushed the door open and flicked the light on. His eyes searched the couch and bed frantically, finding no sign of Patton. Then with a gulp, he dropped his gaze to scout for any lifeless heaps on the floor. Nothing. Images of Patton having hurt himself or worse during the night quickly dissipated from Virgil’s mind and he sighed in relief.

 Then suddenly his head felt floaty like before, but there was a sinking feeling in his stomach this time. His adult ease was quickly replaced by childish desperation.

 ‘Papa,’ he whined to nobody.

 Tears finally fell to his cheeks and he started sucking on his thumb. There were pacis in Minty’s secret pocket but he didn’t want to drop them everywhere because he was so shaky. Mama always wanted him to use pacis instead of his thumb, though.

 He gasped around his thumb and turned to run out of the room. Mama could help find Papa!

 He hurried to Mama’s room as quickly as he could and reluctantly took his thumb out of his mouth to knock on the door. He wanted to suck on it again but didn’t want Mama to tell him it was bad so he hugged Minty with both hands instead.

 There were lots of shuffling sounds behind the door. For a bit, Virgil thought Mama wasn’t going to open it. Did he want Virgil to go away? He pouted at the thought but then the door was open and Mama was looking down at him with his eyebrows pushed together. His cheeks were pink.

 ‘Virgil, it’s past midnight,’ Mama said. ‘What are you doing up?’

 Virgil didn’t know what to say and bit his lip. Was Mama mad at him? He looked at the ground. He didn’t want to see Mama if he looked angry.

 ‘Are you alright?’ Mama asked, and this time it sounded a lot softer.

 He put his hand on Virgil’s shoulder. It was heavy and made breathing a bit easier.

 Virgil looked up again and Mama didn’t look angry at all, so Virgil wasn’t so scared to respond.

 ‘Papa wasn’t there,’ Virgil whispered.

 ‘Why do you need -’ Mama started asking but then his eyes went down and his face changed.

 Virgil realised he was looking at his wet pants and he quickly dropped his hands to hold Minty in front of himself. He didn’t like it when people looked at his accidents, it gave him so many butterflies that his tummy hurt.

 ‘It’s alright, little one,’ Mama said.

 Then there was a weird squeaky noise from his bedroom but Virgil didn’t know what it was. The words Mama said put a fuzzy feeling in Virgil’s chest that made him feel less scared, but it also made him cry more. It was weird.

 ‘Did you try to find Papa after you had an accident?’ Mama leaned down to look in his eyes.

 ‘N-not in his room,’ Virgil whimpered and tugged on Minty’s tail with the memory.

 ‘Uh, well,’ Mama said quietly. He sounded a bit scared too, but not really the same kind of scared. ‘Maybe he is just… on a little trip?’

 Lots of scary pictures of Papa never ever coming back played in Virgil’s head. His heart jumped really hard and hot tears filled up his eyes.

 ‘I wan Papa,’ Virgil whined. His chest got tight and then a sob hurt his throat. ‘Papa.’

 There was a loud crash behind Mama and Virgil jumped. He saw Mama's closet door had burst open and then someone scrambled out from the shirts.

 ‘I’m here, baby!’ Papa yelled and jogged over to him.

 ‘So much for subtlety,’ Mama said really quietly.

 Virgil didn’t know why Papa was in Mama’s closet but he didn’t care. Warm arms were hugging him and Virgil sniffled and buried his head in Papa’s shirt. The smell made him feel happy and made his head tingle.

 ‘It’s okay, sweetheart,’ Papa whispered and patted Virgil’s hair. ‘Papa’s got you.’

 Virgil cried and held Papa’s shirt tightly in his fingers. He never wanted Papa to leave again!

 ‘Why did you say I was on a trip?’ he heard Papa whisper.

 ‘I panicked,’ Mama whispered back.

 Virgil didn’t want Mama to panic. Panic was really scary. He pulled his head back to look at Papa. He wanted to ask if Mama was okay but he didn’t know how to and he pouted. Words were tricky.

 ‘I’m so proud of you for coming to get Mama when you couldn’t find me, baby,’ Papa said with a smile. ‘Now, sweetheart, can Papa please give you a bath?’

 Virgil put his thumb back in his mouth and laid his cheek on Papa’s chest again.

 ‘It will be nice and relaxing,’ Papa said and his chest rumbled and made Virgil feel sleepy. ‘Then we can get you in some clean pyjamas and then cuddle for as long as you want!’

 Virgil sniffled. It might be scary if Papa gave him a bath because he had to be naked, but he didn’t want to do it on his own and his skin was really itchy and burning now. And Papa said they can cuddle after!

 ‘Yeth peas,’ Virgil mumbled around his thumb.

 ‘Good boy!’ Papa said and it made Virgil’s tummy feel better.

 ‘Virgil, did you have an accident while you were awake or did you wet the bed?’ Mama asked.

 Virgil felt his cheeks get hot and he hid his face more in Papa’s shirt. He wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about his bedwetting. He just wanted Papa to cuddle him and help make things better, he didn’t want to talk about it!

 ‘Honey, I need you to be really brave for me,’ Papa kissed his head and it made a happy noise come from Virgil’s throat. ‘Can you please be a good baby and nod for Mama if your bed is wet?’

 Virgil didn’t want to nod but he really didn’t want to lie, so he nodded. He didn’t like that it was quiet after he nodded. What if Papa and Mama thought he was bad and they didn’t want to look after him anymore?

 He whimpered and hugged Papa tighter.

 ‘Shh, it’s alright, baby,’ Papa said and stroked his hair. ‘Thank you for telling us.’

 ‘Mama is going to make your bed for you, Virgil,’ Mama’s voice said right by his ear.

 Virgil turned his head a bit on Papa’s chest and opened one eye to see Mama crouching down and looking at him. He didn’t look angry or anything, he looked friendly just like normal. But Virgil still felt a bit shy. He sucked his thumb more.

 ‘Do you want me to take Minty and tuck them in while you have a bath?’

 Virgil looked down at the dino squished between him and Papa and thought for a bit. He kind of wanted to take Minty with him but he didn’t want them getting wet. Plus, if he had Papa with him then he didn’t need Minty to protect him anymore.

 He slowly nodded and took his thumb out of his mouth so he could push Minty into Mama’s open hands.

 ‘Thank you,’ Mama said then stood up tall again. Virgil liked that Mama was really tall. It made him feel safe.

 ‘So…’ Mama said quietly.

 ‘Yeah,’ Papa said back.

 Virgil was really confused. The grown-ups sometimes spoke in ways he didn’t understand. He didn’t really care though. Minty was held under Mama’s arm like a basketball and it looked funny. Virgil smiled then reached out to poke their nose. Fluffy!

 ‘Shall we continue our…’ Mama was even quieter now, ‘our discussion later?’

 ‘Sure, later,’ Papa whispered.

 Virgil looked up and saw Papa smiling. He liked it when Papa smiled.

 Mama started to walk away but then he stopped and walked back.

 ‘How could I forget,’ he said then lifted Minty.

 It looked like he was tickling them for a bit but then he held something up. A paci!

 Virgil lifted his head from Papa’s chest. He really wanted his paci. It was way better than his thumb.

 ‘Can you tell Mama what colour this is, little one?’ Mama asked nicely. It made Virgil’s head tingle.

 The paci was dark and it had little glittery bits that were really pretty.

 ‘Sparky,’ Virgil said quietly.

 Papa squeezed him a bit and made a funny sound.

 ‘It is sparkly, you’re right,’ Mama said and then he held it up to Virgil’s lips.

 Virgil opened his mouth for it. When he felt the chewy smooth bit on his tongue he breathed deep in his nose and closed his eyes. Pacis always felt really nice.

 He opened them again to try to say thank you with his eyes but Mama was already walking away.

 ‘Let’s go run you a warm bath, baby,’ Papa said and pinched Virgil’s cheek. It didn’t hurt, it was really soft and kind of tickly. ‘This is gonna be soap much fun! Are you bubbling over with excitement?’

 Papa tapped Virgil’s nose and Virgil giggled and nodded. He wasn’t scared anymore!

oOo

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[vagrantblvrd]

I'm a slut for anything Destiny right now, so uhhhhh maybe something involving that? (On another note, boo for pushing back BL to November, yay for having more time to work on it)

Lol, same, friend! XD

So, like. Much as I love other Destiny AUs I’ve blathered on about before, what do you say about a Battle Buddies in the Destiny universe?

Like, say.

These two idiots working for Clovis Bray during the Golden Age, right? Troubleshooters or just a pair of mercenaries that somehow ended up on the Clovis Bray payroll.

Or maybe they start off as regular security operatives who earn a reputation for being particularly clever and resourceful. Ruthless, some might say, in protecting Clovis Bray’s interests.

They catch the eye of some higher up, get reassigned to a special division in security which happen to be troubleshooters and the like?

Operatives given more leeway/authority than the usual Clovis Bray security operative and it’s actually good for a while, right?

Certainly good enough from them to to from coworkers to that guy they see almost every day and have a few things in common with to actual friends. And that, okay, in the world of fanfic is a slippery slope to Mutual Pining.

And such tropes as being snowed in at a tiny, wonderfully cozy cabin once they get a fired started and realize sharing body heat is the only solution to not freezing to death anyway?

Also sharing a bed while on a trip somewhere and a mixup/convenient other reason there would only be a room with a single bed available for them.

Not to mention the quiet revelation that the other one knows exactly how they take their coffee (whatever diet soda equivalent exists in the universe at that time for Ryan), or what their favorite food is (and second, third and so on in case substitution is necessary). Know what their favorite color is and cats vs dogs.

(A hotly debated topic between them, one that Jeremy declares could be a friendship killer because dogs, Ryan, really? With their borking and happy little faces and utter joy at seeing their human?

Pls.

Meanwhile, Ryan with this little smirk to his voice as he needles Jeremy over the little herd of stray cats he swears aren’t actually his and yet are all fixed and chipped and yowl their little heads off the moment they catch wind/sight of Jeremy and anyway, dogs are clearly better because Ryan says so, therefore it’s true, Jeremy.

(Neither of them realize if they were animals - omg, were-creatures in Destiny universe???? :O - Jeremy is obvs a bork-bork doggo and Ryan a snooty mcsnoot (sekritly soft touch because srsly) kitten-cat and just, tangent I know, but omg.)

Also, though?

Also.

It means all these little things that add up to oh, no, I’m absolutely fucked over this asshole/idiot, because they are and now that they know they can’t stop seeing it, you know?

Jeremy’s :D when he sees Ryan at work and Ryan’s own >:D when he sees Jeremy because up to no good, the both of them? And smaller, quieter things they didn’t really think about and oh man, what now???

But then, also!

The two of them with their special division in Clovis Bray’s security branch...deal...thing where they ends up working with the shadier side of things?

Mostly play security on off-world projects or labs that pop up when new discoveries are made and said discovery can’t be moved/hasn’t been moved to a more secure facility and such.

Security there just as much to protect the discovery/artifact/device than keep the scientists/staff/executives visiting the site safe and so on. (Occasional Adventures because business rivals and shady practices and Drama.)

It’s all good for a while, lets them stew in their Mutual Pining phase and just as they’re about to maybe, maaaaybe do something about it Trouble!!1! happens.

Both of them are at the “I need to talk to you about this...thing,” stage of things and thinking oh, no, he knows I have the FEELINGS for him and the :O!!1! of what could mean for their ~friendship and so on?

But then Ryan gets called to the Clovis Bray facility on Mars in Meridian Bay while Jeremy stays behind, which isn’t unheard of for them?

But it’s rare when the company separates them. know they’re far more effective as a team and so on, but the call comes from the top and they can’t just say no, so Ryan goes.

Has a Bad Feeling and Jeremy knows him well enough to pick up on it, but pretends he doesn’t, that everything’s fine even though there’s been more chatter on restricted frequencies - Clovis Bray and otherwise - for a few days now, something big going down that’s effecting everyone.

This growing concern/panic leaders are trying to keep under wraps while they figure out how to handle it and so on.

And, look, they’ve been in the business long enough to know to trust Bad Feelings and suchlike? But Jeremy’s all :D because Ryan’s so worked up and he’s trying to reassure him they’ll be fine, you know? Damn good at their jobs and nothing’s managed to kill them yet.

(Yet being the keyword there, Jeremy, as Ryan keeps telling him when Jeremy’s a few drinks in on a slow night and they’re just enjoying one another’s company and sharing stories and yeah.)

Anyway.

Ryan heads to Mars and Jeremy sticks behind and somewhere in between that the Collapse happens, because of course it does.

Just a big ol’ kaboom-level disaster in which they both end up super, duper dead?

But then they get better.

Kind of?

Because, look.

Ryan gets all kinds of fucked up during the kaboom-level disaster and he’s in a Clovis Bray facility and there’s the whole...Exo thing, right?

Hand-wavy shenanigans all over the place in which he’s Exo-fied just before everything goes to hell (really goes to hell) and he comes online or whatever they call it just in time to die again.

(Doesn’t remember the first one, because fleshy human body all fucked up and coding on the table and uh, wow, yes. Also Ryan and his Thing for androids in Sky Factory 4 and also just robots and the like in general, so yeah?)

Anyway.

Ryan dies (again) during the collapse in a shiny Exo body and no time at all to address that, which.

Perfect?

Perfect.

Years go by as the sands of Mars start to bury human cities and whatnot, and along comes a Ghost.

Ryan’s Ghost, to be matter of fact.

Little bastard’s been looking for its Guardian for a long, long time by the time it gets to Mars, seen a lot.

And for whatever reason when it’s poking about this half-buried Clovis Bray facility and stumbles on this shiny new (not so much) Exo decides ah, yes, this one is the one I’ve been looking for all this time.

Ryan gets resurrected on Mars, wakes up choking on dust and sand (or maybe it’s just his mind telling him that’s what’s happening, because Exo? who knows) and this goddamn floating ball of metal and light and sass in front of him.

The Clovis Bray facility is a disaster and the Cabal haven’t found it yet (yet) but they’re going to any day and anyway, anyway, not a good idea to stick around a dead place like that.

His Ghost brought him back a few years after the Collapse, Dark Ages days still, before things like Iron Lords or fancy classes like Titans or Warlocks or Hunters.

Is something of a cross between a Titan and a Warlock in temperament and abilities and understandably a little leery of his little Ghost buddy? Like what even is it/he?

But also, also?

Ryan remembers, okay.

For whatever reasons, he remembers.

Wakes up in a Clovis Bray facility - was there meeting with some higher-ups about concerns they had about some incoming trouble and reluctant to pull both of them from their assignment.

Figured Ryan could speak for them both, and then kaboom, the Collapse and his Exo-fication which he really, really should not remember? But hard to deny the proof and such, and maybe his Ghost is able to pull some information from the computers around them

(And the what the actual fuck and I did not agree to that when I signed my contract and what the fucking fuck and so on of dealing with that on top of everything else and it’s just. It’s a lot to process.)

He remembers his previous life, although there are some gaps and the whatnot - maybe that’s what happens when you die and some sassy floating orb resurrects you, Ryan doesn’t have a frame of reference for these things okay - and from what his Ghost is saying people shouldn’t do that?

Especially with the Exo-fication process and anyway, anyway, yes.

So he keeps quiet about it for the moment, all this oh shit, and fuck, Jeremy and that in the back of his mind and initial wariness of his Ghost and what that’s all about.

Finds a way to get them back to wherever he and Jeremy were assigned - grab a jumpship from the Clovis Bray facility and leave Mars and it’s dead cities behind headed towards Earth because where else would they go?

But also maybe there are others like Ryan and while they’re out here might as well check to see if there are? Bring any survivors and such back with them if they can.

All they find are cities in ruin and the dead, though.

Worse, places where the dead should be, but aren’t.

Because spooky.

But also Bad Things, not all of which are due to the other races the Darkness introduced to humanity, because you know, humanity at its worst and so on.

Still, it gives Ryan the chance to learn about his new body, and his Light-given abilities, to trust them, and weirdly enough bond with his Ghost.

Gives the poor thing a name like Reggie or some other terrible thing that has it sighing and all that at him as humans are just super weird about stuff like that?

But at the same time it’s a name, something more than just Ghost. Which. Not an insult? But still, a name.

When they get to where Ryan and Jeremy were stationed he’s not really expecting to find Jeremy after everything else they’ve seen along the way. Odds stacked against them from the start and all that, and he’s not surprised to find the facility torn open and broken down.

Finds bodies here and there, doesn’t want to look closer but he can’t not at the same time.

Recognizes a few of them, scientists and staff and some security operatives he and Jeremy worked with.

Reggie clearly knows Ryan’s lying about not remembering anything, but chooses not to call him on it at the time.

Not when there’s this...rawness to him as he explores the place he lived and worked in who knows how many years go. Finds the bodies and other remnants of a life (long past, ended violently in the Collapse along with those of everyone else there.

Listens to messages people left before, during, and after the Collapse.

Usual day-to-day things, work logs or personal journals that tick over into calls to supervisors over unusual readings and the like? And then towards the end and staticky and all that, warnings to whoever stumbles across the facility.

Breached containment and toxic chemical ruptures and all that that had to be locked down.

(The handful of people on the other side of it, either too slow or too goddamned brave, sacrificing themselves for the others even though they knew it wouldn’t matter much in the end, and doing it anyway)

Sightings of unknown creatures - beings? Roaming the area outside the facility while its security measures were still active, what remaining security operatives going to confront them and not returning, or dragging themselves back to safety just to die with some cryptic words on what they’d seen out there.

Final words of survivors doomed to die either by whatever was on the other side of the fences and security measures once they inevitably failed or some other cause. (Exposure to toxins/radiation or other fun things. Starvation, etc. No need to worry about old age or natural causes because yeah no, not in the cards for them.)

That cheerful kind of stuff, you know?

Ryan and his Ghost digging into the computers they could and watching footage, watching people he knew a lifetime ago dying.

Watching Jeremy taking charge of things, having to order people to their deaths in the days after the Collapse whether it be to containment breaches or enemies at their gates and so on.

A few logs and personal videos Jeremy left, ones that Ryan makes copies of for himself - Reggie makes copies of everything they find, but Jeremy’s are just for Ryan, you know?

All of what they find may be useful one day, important, but Jeremy’s are just for Ryan. (Reggie safeguards those like you wouldn’t believe because they’re obviously important to Ryan.)

One of Jeremy’s videos are of him in the cramped quarters he and Ryan had to share, half a wall missing and all that because of course.

More rubble than room at that point, and yet it’s where he decided to record that video message.

All quiet and sad and hopeless because no rescue is coming for them, and look, okay, look.

He knows Ryan has to be dead by that point, otherwise his Battle Buddy would have come for him and the others, Clovis Bray be damned.

And Jeremy’s not quite looking at the camera as he just.

Confesses?

Tells Ryan - this one video is for Ryan even though Jeremy’s certain he’d never see it now, but he can’t not and he’ll probably be dead before long anyway, so fuck it, right?

So Jeremy tells Ryan all about the Mutual Pining he was doing leading up to the Collapse, right? All the reasons he fell head over heels for his idiot Battle Buddy and fear of fucking things up between them not knowing if Ryan felt the same and just.

A lot of FEELS going on there?

And then he talks about the Bad Feeling of Ryan’s and the call for him to go to Mars while Jeremy stayed behind.

Tells him he knew something was off, wrong, that something big was coming and goddamn does he hate being right about that kind of thing?

And then, okay.

There’s this tired little laugh, and Jeremy looking right into the camera.

Looks tired, worn down. Like he hasn’t slept in days (hadn’t, most likely) and lost too much weight and right on the edge of breaking.

Tells Ryan with this tired little laugh and tired little smile that he loves him, and he’s sorry he wasn’t brave enough to tell him when he had the chance and all these other heartbreaking things before ending the video.

(Delicious Angst.)

Ryan can’t find any other videos or anything from Jeremy after that, but there are references to the last of the security operatives patrolling the facility and running into opposition. Mentions of them not returning, of the other survivors being on their own and -

Ryan and Reggie go looking, because of course they do.

Find bodies, human and otherwise, but there’s a goddamn hole blown into the side of the facility. Fucking crater that opens up into an underground cavern and no safe way down.

Which, fine.

Ryan jumps, and Reggie brings him back.

Again and again and again until they reach the bottom, and then it’s this endless network or caves and tunnels and they could spend a lifetime looking, but enemies - Fallen? - and too many for one lone Light-bearer and their Ghost and he hates it, hates it, but they can’t stay.

Get back to Earth and kick around there for some time, all the while Ryan working on a way to get back to the facility to find Jeremy and lay him to rest or whatever’s going on in his head.

Runs across this shady bastard who (of course) turns out to be the Drifter and they become...not friends so much as acquaintances and all that? Don’t really trust one another, but they’re not enemies either.

The Iron Lords happen, Ryan and Reggie keeping an eye on things because you never know, and then the thing with SIVA happens and everything after that.

Hop around the system (venture a little beyond it for a time before coming back) and are like.

Bemused at these Guardians they find running around?

Like.

Yeah, okay, interesting, but he and Reggie were there for the Iron Lords and surely it’s only a matter of time until the Guardians go the same way?

But...they don’t?

They even build themselves this City under the Traveler and seem to thrive. Guard (heh,) the remnants of humanity that take shelter in the Traveler’s presence and all that.

Watches them branch out, sees the formation of the Vanguard and the Consensus and all that.

And they don’t go unnoticed either, this weird Light-bearer Exo and his Ghost that have been around for a long, long time.

Are considered allies to the Vanguard and Tower and all that? But not to be trusted at the same time.

Not enemies, just.

Need to be taken with a grain of salt, and also for the love of all that’s holy, do not let them around baby Guardians because they’re kind of terrible?

But yes.

Ryan’s around for all the shenanigans in the first Destiny, but doesn’t get involved himself because he’s no Guardian, you see.

Does, however, do things like message the Vanguard when there’s unusual activity among the Fallen or whichever race is hellbent on wiping humanity out that time.

Tips off Ikora’s hidden that something’s going on in the Plaguelands when the Fallen get into SIVA and so on, checks in on Lord Saladin to see how he’s doing, that kind of thing.

And then the Cabal come to Earth and Ryan’s at the edge of the system at the time, but he definitely feels it when the Cabal manage to lock away the Traveler’s Light.

He and Reggie make their way back to Earth because what the hell is going on?

And they get there just in time for some asshole to kick Ghaul’s ass and the Traveler awakening and all that?

And it’s like, well, shit, because things are going to be in disarray for a while, aren’t they?

Usually that means the Vanguard reaching out to him and those like him to help where Guardians can’t.

Stealth and shady shit and other things the Vanguard seems to turn their noses up at because not exactly Noble, the things people like Ryan get up to, but still needed.

Anyway, off he goes, coordinating with Ikora’s Hidden and all that and he’s all over the place for a while.

Goes back to the Tower and happens to catch a glimpse of someone in armor and is like !!!

It’s the Tower, and all the Guardians wandering around in armor is far from unusual?

BUT.

This asshole is sporting some hideous shader that somehow manages to combine purple and orange with yellow trim and it’s this whiplash moment of !!! for Ryan because!

Or fucking course Jeremy and his bullshit color scheme back when they were working for Clovis Bray, you know?

Shit-eating grin at Ryan’s :O face the first time he realized what a monstrous human being Jeremy was and delighting in it every moment afterwards.

And Ryan, right. Far from an expert on all the shaders out there, but he’s pretty sure Eva would never dare create such a thing as it would be akin to a crime against humanity, and yet.

Ryan sneaks about following the Guardian - a goddamned Titan because of course it is - and maybe gets a little sloppy about it.

Because FEELS and also being a little out of his mind over the coincidence?

Anyway, anyway, he ends up getting cornered in a little alley somewhere down in The City. No one else around for blocks and an understandably peeved Guardian facing him down.

“Hey, pal,” he hears, seemingly friendly enough but there’s an edge to the words all the same. “There a reason you’ve been following me for the last few hours?”

The Guardian’s got their helmet on, because of course, but there’s -

Ryan knows that voice.

(Of fucking course he does.)

Stares and stares and stares because oh, okay, this has to be it, you know? He’s been alive for a few hundred years by this point, and sooner or later he’d lose it, because of course he would, right?

Exo-fied without consent and tossed into the life of a Light-bearer - again, without consent although he’s more okay with Reggie’s actions than the scientists at Clovis Bray who Exo-fied him - and made sense he’d go mad at some point.

Because no way in hell is that Jeremy he’s looking at. No damned way.

AND YET.

It totally is Jeremy, although he goes by Rimmy Tim now (lololol, I’m so, so sorry) and doesn’t remember his previous life at all and oh, God his poor Ghost is sporting a shell in the same hideous purple/orange shader and why did it have to be this way?

But also seriously, Ryan being blue screen of death over the whole Jeremy is a goddamned Guardian now???

Apparently resurrected following the Red War and new to the whole Guardian deal.

Ryan tries to stay away because he’s got all these issues to sort out and doesn’t want to scare Jeremy away/make him hate him/who even knows what he’s thinking at that point?

But it doesn’t stick because Jeremy’s alive.

Doesn’t know Ryan or the fact they were this close to figuring their shit out before the world ended around them and things got seriously fucked up.

Thinks Ryan’s some weird shady dude along the lines of the Drifter and all that? Which, to be fair, he is?

BUT.

Zavala and Ikora trust him, and Cayde did too.

Ryan keeps tabs on Jeremy the whole time because like hell is he not going to do that?

But he tries his best to keep his distance for Jeremy’s sake and all?

And then there’s a Situation the Vanguard need him to look into, and would he like help with this one?

And Ryan, okay.

Ryan.

Does his damndest to be good about this, not drag Jeremy into things, but Zavala’s a clever bastard.

Has noticed Ryan’s obvious - to Zavala and Ikora, and even Cayde’s amusement/understanding before he died - interest in Jeremy.

And weirdly, conveniently, Jeremy knocks on the door to Zavala’s office while Ryan’s in there talking to him about this Situation.

“Uh, am I interrupting?”

And Zavala gives Ryan this little smirk.

“Rimmy Tim is a promising young Titan,” he says. “Clever. Resourceful. I think he would prove to be a great asset in this endeavor.”

And Jeremy, okay.

Keen on helping the Vanguard with things like this Situation, and he’ll admit to being curious about weird, shady Ryan and how he fits into things, and anyway.

Ryan doesn’t have much choice in the matter about it all, and before you know it the two of them are out investigating weird shit together.

Ryan barely keeping his shit together the whole time because Jeremy is so fucking Jeremy even though he doesn’t remember anything about his previous life.

Reggie is like, super concerned and doesn’t sass Ryan more than a couple of times a day due to said concern.

Jeremy’s Ghost is like, dude, what the hell? While Reggie is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ because hahaha, Light-bearers are just weird as hell, right?

Their investigations take them back to Mars and the same Clovis Bray facility where Ryan was Exo-fied and it’s.

Jeremy doesn’t know what’s up with Ryan and Reggie, but once Ryan quietly mentions that oh, hey, yeah. This is where they turned me into this *gestures at himself with this weird hollow/bitter laugh because yes* and then he died, and also Reggie found him years later and so on?

And Jeremy’s like shit, dude, and also, oh, okay thinking that’s why they’re being super weird?

But then they find records and some video of human!Ryan way back before and Jeremy’s fucking riveted, okay.

Human!Ryan talking to one of his bosses about an assignment they’re going to send these Battle Buddies off on - Jeremy looking over at Ryan when he flinches or something along those lines and thinks, oh, man, poor guy, because apparently Ryan had a partner way back when?

Someone the Clovis Bray bigwig talks about with this amused/fond look on their face like the two of them were inseparable and all that? Force to be reckoned with and all that.

And!

Of course that’s when the bigwig’s office door opens to let the other half of the Battle Buddies in.

“What the fuck?”

Because, hey, wow, would you look at that? That’s fucking Jeremy sauntering on in with a little grin on his face and all that, tossing human!Ryan a look before giving the Clovis Bray bigwig a nod and no, seriously, what the fuck.

This whole Thing where Ryan stiffly (because dealing with all these EMOTIONS about Jeremy and terrified he’d - rightly so - want nothing to do with Ryan because of the everything) tells him that yeah, so.

They totally knew one another way back when? Worked together and so on and all this and just.

Yeah.

Jeremy’s Ghost manages to salvage more videos of the two of them - sparring in Clovis Bray gym facilities and the whatnot and training/demonstrating/whatever for security operatives?

Ryan leaves him to it while he and Reggie go poking about the rest of the place pretty much expecting Jeremy to tell them he wants nothing to do with them once they’re done with whatever the Vanguard has them doing?

But no, okay, no.

First of all, Jeremy’s super weirded out, but he’s not mad? OR he doesn’t think he is???

It’s complicated.

What he does know is that he and his Ghost like Ryan and Reggie, are starting to think of them as friends, even.

And then, okay, and then?

There’s also the fact that with a different perspective Jeremy can totally fucking see how fucking head over heels he and Ryan were for one another?

The way they look at one another, okay, that alone.

Can’t tell if they were an official? Thing and it feels cruel to ask Ryan, considering Jeremy doesn’t remember him? So he doesn’t.

Just.

Decides he’d like to get to know Ryan now, see what happens and all that?

Ryan’s like ??? because he was not expecting that? Is a little reluctant because what if it’s a mistake? He still loves the shit out of Jeremy, pre-Collapse and now, but maybe that’s not what’s best for Jeremy?

Tries to tell him that, but Jeremy’s not having it.

Like, will honestly leave Ryan alone if he genuinely wants him to considering their past and the emotional roller coaster Ryan’s been on since pretty much forever?

But if it’s all the same to Ryan Jeremy would like to keep working with him?

And they do, because Ryan thinks he’s too much a selfish bastard to tell Jeremy no, and Jeremy kind of feels the same?

They deal with the Situation together (Battle Buddies, fuck yeah) and when they report back to Zavala he’s all HMM at them, but doesn’t comment on things and it just.

Becomes this understood Thing that Ryan and Jeremy are a team now, going all over the place to deal with things Ikora’s Hidden sniff out or some “friend” of Ryan’s want them to look into.

Ryan quietly Suffering because Jeremy’s still so very Jeremy and yet a completely different person. Jeremy falling for Ryan because of course he does, and Ryan keenly aware of it at some point.

(Stopped lying to himself about things like that a long time ago, or maybe he’s too tired to lie to himself about them now, who knows.)

Looks at Jeremy one night, the two of them camped out in a shell of a building and just.

Sighs.

Takes out the batch of recordings and videos Jeremy left behind at the end and gives them to Jeremy because...he doesn’t know why, really.

Just thinks it’s important he sees them for himself before he says something he might regret. (Does something he might regret, idk.)

And then off Ryan goes to keep watch or patrol the area or whatever and conveniently not be there while Jeremy watches his past self confessing his love to Ryan like that was a mistake he never got to make in person or something?

It makes no goddamned sense, and Jeremy’s a bit of an emotional mess by the end of it because jfc, he past him was a complete idiot, and both Ryans are too?

Past Ryan just for being a dense idiot the same as past Jeremy, present Ryan because he’s been carrying those recordings along with him for ages, and the whole Guilt about not finding Jeremy’s body to lay him to rest way back when.

The Guilt about knowing who Jeremy was when he met him again and not telling him (that makes Jeremy a little angry because dude, seriously?), and yet again more Guilt for not telling him about the Mutual Pining?

And just.

He yells at Ryan a hell of a lot when he tracks him down, finds him on a rooftop staring up at the stars while Reggie watches over him.

Realizes Ryan’s looking towards the sector of space where he and Ryan were stationed when the Collapse happened, that the idiot probably made a habit of doing so after Jeremy died because Delicious Angst?

He yells, but there’s no real heat to it because Jeremy’s a wreck, and also he gets it?

Doesn’t know Ryan super well, just yet, but enough to see why he’d do/think some of the things he has.

Feels...not guilty, exactly, but something in that he doesn’t remember Ryan or the lives they had before all...this, but.

They’ve got a second chance, and maybe, maybe they could do something with it?

Not saying they have to, necessarily, but.

Uh.

They do make a good team, and all that, and -

Ryan’s just looking at Jeremy like he doesn’t know what to say (it’s true) and kind of like he thinks he may be dreaming this (he’s not) and Jeremy’s afraid he’s saying all the wrong things?

But then.

It’s like

That could be a thing they could do, become Battle Buddies 2.0 and let Zavala know he only has himself to blame for it, so of course they do, you know?

Go off and Adventure about, causing Zavala headache after headache and getting these little smiles out of Ikora and such.

And one day maybe they get their shit together and finally freaking do something about all the FEELINGS the have for one another.

Get it right this time, with the love confessions and smooches - or like, whatever it is Exos do in that regard?

But yes.

Also they run into the rest of the AH bunch at some point, a few of which are some of Ryan’s shady friends, because of course they are. >:D

(ALSO, omg, yessss? I was like aw, man, not again Bungie :((((((((((((((( even though I totally understand the reasons for the delay? Like. I want the shinies of new content and omg, EXO STRANGER :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD right now? But also omg, yes Bunige, please take the time you need. XD)

[caelum-in-the-avatarverse]

Katara's still reeling after learning about bloodbending. Aang tries to help. 

~~~

This one's gonna have discussion of how bending can kill people and allusions to death and stuff, just fyi.

Enjoy!

~~~

“Teach me how to heal?”

Katara blinked a few times and looked up at him. It took her a few seconds to focus on his face. “What?”

“Teach me how to heal,” Aang said again, and then he added, “please.”

She blinked again. “Why?”

Because you cried for hours last night. Because you kept apologizing to Yue. Because your hopes were completely shattered. Because I know how badly you wanted to learn Southern-style waterbending. Because one of your greatest heroes turned out to be the worst kind of villain. Because you’ve been staring at a field of fire lilies all afternoon. “You taught me how to fight...for obvious reasons. But...I know I’d prefer healing over fighting. And...I think we both could use it.”

Katara graced him with a weak smile. “Okay,” she said, straightening up. She already looked better at the prospect of a goal - a mission, something to make the world a better place. “Give me your arm.”

Sokka and Toph left them to it and stuck to the other side of their campsite, Sokka drawing out diagrams for sky bison armor while rattling off ideas, and Toph practicing her metalbending and telling Sokka that, as much as her skills were progressing, she would not be able to created mounted arrow-launchers, nor would they be able to train Momo to use them in time.

Katara spent the better part of an hour tracing her finger up and down her and Aang’s bodies, talking about the twelve standard meridians and chi flow and applying waterbending as a conduit. Aang soaked the information up like a sponge, watched Katara sink her focus into healing, and all the ways you could fix a person.

But eventually her words trailed off halfway through an explanation of how waterbending could keep a person’s heart beating, and she stared at her fingers hovering over Aang’s chest. “It’s...not so different, is it?” she whispered.

Aang took her hand in his. “It’s very different, Katara.”

She shook her head. “I just...can’t believe someone would use waterbending for something so evil.”

“I know,” Aang said gently. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s - we’re supposed to be better than the Fire Nation. Waterbending isn’t evil, it’s good.”

“No bending is good or evil,” Aang said. “It just...is.”

“I’ve never seen firebending used for good,” Katara said dryly.

“Kuzon used to make shapes with it,” Aang shrugged. “People, animals. They’d dance around the campfire. It was cute.”

She looked unconvinced.

“Anyone who knows enough about the human body to heal it is also going to know how to hurt it,” Aang said. “Bending is just an ability, it doesn’t have morals. What’s good and evil is people’s choices on how to use it.”

Katara sighed. “I guess I’m just...so used to the idea of fire being the element that causes pain,” she said. “I never thought water…”

Aang hesitated - but she looked so lost, and she’d cried so much last night, and he cared about her so much. He glanced towards Sokka and Toph, saw they were still engrossed in their own conversation, hopefully far enough away that Toph’s hearing wouldn’t pick anything up. He leaned closer to Katara and said, very quietly but all in a rush, “Airbending can be used to suck the breath right out of someone’s lungs.”

It took a moment for it to sink in, but when it did she stared at him, horrified. “...What?”

Aang hunched his shoulders a bit. “Yeah.”

“You can - ”

“I can’t,” he said immediately. “That’s - it’s forbidden, and even if it wasn’t I wouldn’t want to know how! But it’s...definitely possible. There were old stories. Legends.”

She took another moment to process it. “That’s... awful, Aang.”

“Yeah,” he said, and with a rueful grin added, “there’s reasons why we’re pacifists.” If you listen hard enough you can hear every living thing breathing together, Hue had said, back under the banyan-grove tree. The old Swampbender had no idea how true that had been for Air Nomads.

“I’d never heard that about Airbenders,” Katara said.

“It’s not like it was common knowledge,” Aang shrugged. “We didn’t even talk about it amongst ourselves much. I don’t think anyone even actually knew how to do it, just that it was possible.” Maybe a skilled master could have figured it out on their own, but none of them would ever have attempted it. And now there was definitely no one who knew how to do it - maybe no one who even knew it was possible, if Katara’s reaction was anything to go by.

If Aang never said anything about it, maybe no one would ever know again.

Aang had been grieving the loss of his people and the destruction of his culture for months, but if the knowledge of the asphyxiation technique disappeared, it would be one loss he wouldn’t mourn.

“Even knowing it’s possible is scary,” said Katara, who’d bloodbended a whole human fifteen minutes after learning the technique was possible.

“But we didn’t, Katara. We could, but we didn’t. It’s not the power that’s evil, it’s the choices you make in how to use it.”

Katara mulled it over. Eventually, she nodded, and they spent a long, silent moment gazing out over the field of fire lilies. The flowers were just as red and beautiful as they’d been in another field, several islands behind them now. Katara held a hand over the nearest flower, slowly moving her wrist and her fingers, and the lily’s petals opened and closed a few times, it’s leaves shifting in slow wavy motions.

It didn’t whither or dehydrate under her hand, but when she released it, the lily suddenly fell limp to the ground, unable to stand upright anymore, leaves and petals haphazardly splayed. Katara blinked. “I...must have hurt it somehow,” she realized, frowning. “Maybe I burst something inside.”

“It’s okay,” Aang said quickly. “It’s not like you bend plants much.”

“...Yeah,” Katara said after a moment. “You’re right, I don’t.”

At least it wasn’t a person, Aang didn’t say, because now was not the time to bring that up.

“They’re just flowers,” Katara said quietly. Sadly. She stared out at the fire lilies again. The field looked like a massive army of little red soldiers.

They were quiet again, for a little while. On the other side of the camp, Toph was telling Sokka that two horns was enough for Appa and they didn’t need to give him any more on his helmet no matter how cool he claimed it would look. It would not look cool, it would look stupid. She didn’t know much about looks but she knew for a fact she would be able to feel the stupid.

Finally, Katara sighed. “She didn’t even teach me any actual Southern-style waterbending.”

Aang wrapped an arm around her shoulders and thought of the way the nuns raised at the Western Air Temple had been able to walk around on the ceiling, perfectly upside-down with the rest of their home, how they’d laugh at anyone who attempted to mimic them, and how jealously they’d guarded that unique art. “I’m sorry, Katara.”

~~~

Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are appreciated.

Meridians are the paths chi flows through in the body, according to traditional Chinese medicine. I think when Katara attends that healing lesson, the dummy Yugoda is demonstrating on has the meridians carved into it. Also why did no one ever teach Aang healing I think he would've loved it and also I think healing deserves a bit more in-depth exploration as an art. The fantasy genre tends to just treat healing as another thing in the characters' bag of tricks and I'm getting tired of it.

Also I've spent all these years wondering "how did Sokka manage to make armor for Appa they didn't have a forge and we just see him working on it like once but it didn't make sense" and while I was writing this I was like "oh wait Toph can metalbend, duh."

It seriously kills me that Hama doesn't seem to have actually taught Katara any actual Southern Water Tribe techniques. Everything they talked about had to do with Hama learning to survive in the Fire Nation and pulling water from unconventional sources. No moves, techniques, or philosophies. So sad.

Also I kinda headcanon that Hama died very shortly after her arrest of either an aneurysm or a heart attack or something. It was Katara's first time bloodbending and she was under a lot of stress. :( I also don't think that the Gaang is aware of this - I think they high-tailed it out of Hama's village immediately. A bunch of disappeared villagers return home in the middle of the night with the old innkeeper in chains saying she's a witch who controlled them somehow and these strange kids saved them? That would probably launch an investigation, or at the very least a lot of questions, and no one knows Hama and Katara are Waterbenders. Bad enough some of the prisoners probably saw Toph bending her space rock into a key. The Gaang wasn't gonna wait around for someone to poke around the inn and find a flying bison.

Regarding asphyxiation, unfortunately for Aang, there actually is surviving literature regarding that old Airbender tale - a few mentions in anthropological texts, a few recorded bits of folklore, and some Sozin-era anti-Air Nomad propaganda. Fortunately, these records are really only known in academic circles, and even there it's pretty obscure knowledge. So just as long as no well-read martial arts experts with a deep appreciation/obsession over Air Nomad culture suddenly obtain airbending abilities, the knowledge of asphyixiation techniques is safely unusable! :D *cough*gdiZaheer*coughcough*

[robininthelabyrinth]

1/ So I was thinking what if Wen Ruohan turned out to be LSZ's biological father? It would be a very interesting concept since they are such polar opposites and it's not even impossible as all we know about his bio parents is that they are WQ's and WN's cousins and the 2 of them could've known the truth but decided to bury it forever since there's no point in burdening a child with his dead father's bloody legacy.

2/ Except somehow WR survives the sunshot campaign (I mean he's almost an immortal it's unbelievable JGY could end him so easily) and he gets the mother of all redemption arcs (because even a megalomaniac mass murder would have a reality check if his leadership led to the total annihilation of the biggest and most powerful sect in the cultivation world) and so he decides to atone for his crimes by secluding himself in a mountain and spending eternity meditating and reflecting on his mistakes

3/ Until one day he finds a badly injured LSZ and recognizes him so he nurses him back to health but refuses to tell him anything about himself and LSZ being a human ray of sunshine doesn't mind it and even feels sorry for this mysterious hermit so he keeps visiting him from time to time (always alone cuz WR tells him he doesn't like people) and WR grows very fond of him because he's such a sweetheart and starts teaching him some secret QishanWen techniques and doting on him...etc and LSZ keeps telling him stories about his parents and how great they are and how much he looks up to them and all the milestones of his life WR could never be a part of cuz he was a horrible father, sect leader, and human overall (ouch!)

4/ And they have this mentor/student relationship with LSZ never asking WR questions about his past for a couple years until WN figures the whole thing out and tells LSZ the truth (out of fear WR would hurt him or manipulate him for some evil plan) and so more drama/angst happens. Basically WR paying for his crimes by an eternity of regret and atonement cuz honestly death was too easy on him

-------------------------------------------

The old man on the mountain could never leave his cave – that was the first thing Lan Sizhui learned about him. He’d been a cultivator once, before someone tore out his dantian and crippled his meridians; far worse than merely lacking a golden core, even his former cultivation has left him – the withered, weakened state of his body is evidence enough of that, and if Lan Sizhui could see his face beneath the iron mask that always concealed it, he thought it would reflect the same.

He was very likely a prisoner.

Lan Sizhui didn’t care. The man was no threat to him – Lan Sizhui wasn’t so foolish as to think that merely lacking cultivation was sufficient to render a man not a threat, he knew very well that a tongue capable of dripping poison could do far worse than any skill at swordplay, but this man barely spoke to him. He’d helped Lan Sizhui once, after a night-hunt gone wrong: the injury hadn’t been that serious, but the man had wrapped it up quite seriously before trying to scare Lan Sizhui away, refusing all manner of reward. So naturally Lan Sizhui had returned later, trying to repay the man with food or drink or even just company, and in the end the man had begrudgingly allowed him to sit and talk.

Lan Sizhui liked talking. He wasn’t a chatterbox, like Lan Jingyi, but there was something freeing about telling someone a little about himself – nothing that could be used to harm someone. It was mostly mundane things, everyday things: how much he loved the two men who had raised him, how much they loved each other (too much, sometimes), how he was getting better at guqin, how his seasickness had yet to abate despite a great deal of practice and good-natured teasing by his peers.

Every once in a while, the man grunted out some word of advice – the one about suppressing seasickness had been exceptionally helpful, and some of the ones about cultivation were (after being carefully cleared with Wei Wuxian) surprisingly effective for all that they didn’t come from any source with which Lan Sizhui was familiar.

The man had refused to explain, shutting down like a rock not just that time but several times after.

After failing to make any dent through kindness or sincerity, Lan Sizhui took his poor big brother as a role model and opted to be mischievous and annoying; eventually, the man snapped, “If I had raised you as my son, you wouldn’t have been so insolent.”

Lan Sizhui laughed, happy to have gotten a reaction. “But you couldn’t have,” he pointed out. “You and I are no relation; I do not take you even as a teacher – we are merely strangers passing some time together.”

The man turned his head away.

After a moment, he said, voice hoarse, “What if we weren’t?”

Lan Sizhui blinked. “What do you mean?”

“You have no idea how long I’ve been here,” the man said. “And I have never told you my name. For all you know, I could be your ancestor, related by blood. What would you say to that?”

“That would be hard,” Lan Sizhui said, smiling. “I’m not even a Lan by birth, in fact; I was adopted when I was young.”

“Regardless,” the man insisted. “The world is full of strange things. What would you say if I was more than a stranger to you?”

If Lan Sizhui had been younger, as impulsive as he’d been as a teenager, he might have answered rashly; he had been quite foolish back then. As much as he loved Wen Ning now, he had very nearly harmed Jin Ling beyond all telling by blithely accepting as family the one who had killed his father, who Jin Ling had no duty to ever forgive; it was a testament to Jin Ling’s resilience and innate goodness that he had.

“I would need to know more about you,” he said honestly. “I was born into a clan that was far from the best: there were cultivators there who were cruel, who were brutal, those who were even tyrannical, murderers and torturers and rapists; it is not too little to say that some of them were irredeemably evil. Those ones, I do not accept; those ones, I cast out, cut all ties with, and will never forgive. I will not sweep their graves, I will not honor their memories. I am filial only to the fathers that raised me and taught me righteousness, to my uncle who cares for me; even if were my own blood father returned from the dead, I would ask him to account for himself before I accepted him. After all, it’s only blood, and my surname has long not been shared with him…no, I wouldn’t feel bad at all. I have all the family I require.” He laughed and shook his head. “An interesting question, if hypothetical. Why do you raise it?”

The man was silent for a long moment. “No reason,” he finally said. “No reason at all.”

[zai-doodles]

Podcats recs

The adventure zone - brother play dnd with their dad and its funny as hell, story picks up around the 3rd arc but it maintains it humor throughout and it's just fucking amazing

Wolf 359 - these r the audio diaries of doug eiffle on the USS hephaestus, hes a lazy communication officer who is bffs with the ships ai, hera, and I love her sm. Podcast is super funny and light hearted then it kicks u in the feels bc fuck u. Its amazing though and I would holy heartedly reccomend it

The bright sessions- ok soooo imagine the x men in therapy??? So these r the audio logs of dr. Bright, shes a therapist who specializes in kids and adults with powers trying to live normal live by helping them cope with their abilities and teaching them to control them. This one is super cute and funny and great and one of the leading romances is a gay couple and I'm here for it. Plot is amazing and yes

The penumbra podcast - ok so imagine a detective noire black and white style film... on mars.... and gender doesnt exist... and everyone is bi.... and its amazing. Ok so u follow juno steel, a independent detective on mars who's a fucking bisexual disaster who cant catch a break. This one is a bit on the heavier side but still has its moments and its story and characters r so amazing and yes

Deadly manners - this one is short, its basically a who done it murder mystery thing and while cheesy it's very entertaining and funny throughout! Also very very gay

Archive 81- Ahh hhh ok ok so I have no idea how to explain this but basically it's a horror podcast that starts out following the recordings of this dude named Dave who is tasked with archiving some sketchy tapes for this sketchy company and the tapes have some really fucked up shit on them and then things happen and magic is real and it sucks cuz now u gotta give this payphone ur left hand.... it's really good but very dark and a lil confusing but the third season is so amazing and the ending of the second season is a trip and I love it sm

Girl in space - this girl has been left alone on a giant ship with nothing but an AI to keep her company for years, then all of a sudden she has guest and she must adapt and it's funny as hell and I love all of them so much ah

Bombarded - this is a dnd podcast abt 3 bards attending board school and it's super silly and fun and the music is awesome, the plot is still in the works since it's just sorta picking up but it's a fun listen!

Directive - this one is short, it's a man who loses his job and is unable to find a new one so he takes a job as a care taker for rich ppl on a ship who r all taking a virtual vacation, the only problem being that he cant have any human physical interaction with anyone during his time on the ship. This one just made me cry oops, it's funny as hell at the beginning and then crying

Time bombs - another short one, 3 eps of just some bomb squad peeps doing their job on new years eve, this one is super funny and great and I love it so much and I need more of it now

The strange case of starship iris - ok ok lesbians in space. Yes. So violet liu is in a very shitty situation on a ship in space all by herself with little chance of survival until a woman on another ship makes contact with her and helps her out big time... but is she helping???? This one is super funny and all the characters r super fun and just ahh, it's short and updated whenever it wants but it's worth a listen! And also the government is watching ur every move. It's also gay

The far meridian- the story of peri, an agoraphobic woman who's home one day starts moving some where new every day when she wakes up. She has no control where she winds up but sees it as a chance to search for her brother. She makes friends along the way and slowly learns to understand people and learn their stories then fucking some mind thing shows up and starts fucking with her and it makes me so sad. And more gay

The blood crow stories- in its third season on going, this show is split in three separate stories. Season one focuses on a college student working on his final paper by doing an analysis of some old tapes he found of a boat that sunk in the early 1900s and also demons exist somehow and things take a turn so fast I just ahh. It's also super gay. Season two follows sheriff isaac of blackwell, set in American wild west, hes hunting a killer that seems to be targeting men in his town but things get complicated when they realized the killer has an army. This one is also gay. Season three is in a futuristic syfy setting following a hacker who works at an emergency hotline service, she starts getting freaked out by calls she gets at work and other strange happenings in her life. This too, is gay.

The message- NASA found an indecipherable message, determined to be from space, and assigns a team of scientists to figure out what it means. You follow a woman whose documenting the whole thing on her weekly podcast but things get complicated when they find out the reason no one could decipher the message

Life after- a man who's wife recently died is obsessed with her old social media, voice tree. He listens to all of her posts on loop and has memorized most of them. So what happens when it goes off script. This show is incredibly chilling and amazing, its incredibly sad yet impactful and made me cry help

Arcs pod- a dnd podcast in that's very similar in humor and style to taz with the production and editing of the bright sessions. The show centers around 3 idiots trying to get to this school. The npcs r all wonderful and then dm does an amazing job of setting up scenes and making each npc feel like a well rounded character. And gay

The Amelia project- hey ever wanna fake ur own death??? Well then Amelia project has got u covered as long as u can pay and have a good story to tell. This show is recordings of interviews with people explaining why they want to fake their own death and the explanations range from crazy cults to feeling like a background character! This show is extremely light hearted and fun. Fairly easy listen and its over the top humor and concepts are incredibly entertaining.