#do you expect everyone to like every aspect about you? and that they should share every gripe they have abt you?

[heartfeltletters-written]

[analysis] the school system in fourth wing

I've decided to reread fourth wing and I have questions and theories that I need to share with my corner of the internet.

This post will include an in-depth (i hope) analysis on the war school system in fourth wing and how all that ties into the country's politics.

a rant no one asked for:

The thousands of twenty-year-olds waiting outside the gate to enter their chosen quadrant for service are the smartest and strongest in Navarre.

First and foremost only the smartest and strongest enter in Basgiath, which implies that this War college is the elite of the elites. There must be thousands of students who never pass the tests, which also begs my first question: where do these failed students go?

The easiest scenario is if Basgiath is the only college in the continent (which for such a big continent seems like a poor choice) does it mean that you either pass the exams or you don't get to continue your education? Ever?

That would prevent a high number of people of getting superior education and acess to knowledge, which is exactly what a fascist regime would do. However the author paints the government as being possible to be reckoned with.

Our main characters negotiate with them over and over again about various aspects, which in my opinion doesn't sound totalitarian to me. It's true that they killed hundreads of people for trying to rebel, which DOES sound facist to me, but during the ongoing canon events they seem like a different government altogether. To me a totalitarian force doesn't negotiate and the only way to end it is to break it. There can be no space for tyranny, or for oppression, and the only way to assure that is to rip its roots, not by negotiating.

But for the sake of everyone's sanity let's ignore that for now, Basgiath wants Navarrian citizens to think "you'll only be sucessful if you go to the military". And they drive their point even further when they reduce the entrance to candidates who are the smartest and strongest. Again to be a part of the elite is anyone's dream come true.

There's also other incentives. We know they promise good pay: Dylan, the guy who dies on the parapet, says "I keep telling her [my mother] that I’ll have better chances for advancement as a rider,". For struggling families Basgiath may seem the only solution, and isn't the King so kind to give good financial compensations to those who decide to fight for their country's honor. The higher the risk, the higher the reward. We also know that this is a matter of pride, just as in the real world when you go to a prestige college you can boast about it. You can use it to show other people how smart and good you are, I assume the same happens in the Empyrean.

This would be an excellent premise if it all didn't unravel by the end of the first chapter.

That's not to add to the fact that there has been no critique on Basgiath except "they let students die" which is not the nuanced commentary we would and should expect, instead that nuance is reduced to: the government is hiding evil soulless monsters for reasons we still aren’t privy to (I digress, that's another post).

Every Navarrian officer, whether they choose to be schooled as healers, scribes, infantry, or riders, is molded within these cruel walls over three years,(...)

Lazy writing and overbearing exposition apart, I want to note that the students, the candidates choose where they'll be going. (this will be important later)

Also important detail is that "Every Navarrian officer" does in fact imply that there's only one war college in the whole country, which is simply wild to me. But with that in mind we now know that everyone who wishes to be a part of Navarre's military forces needs to survive Basgiath, those who can't either die or don't even enter the college at all.

Again those who fail where do they go? My answer would be they go on to do other jobs, non military jobs if you will. We don't actually get an answer to this I don't think. Because Rhiannon's twin sister (enphasis on the twin, they're 20 years old) which is the only person of their age that we know never went to Basgiath is already married with a baby and we don't know what she or her husband do to make money.

On this reread it also stood out to me that Violet calls the college as a whole cruel. So not only is the riders quadrant cruel the rest of the quadrants are also cruel. I wish we got to see more of that cruelty in the books, especially in this first one. We know riders die, that's the whole premise of fourth wing, but what happens in other quadrants? Why are the healers and scribes cruel? These are answers that will never be answered I'm afraid.

I would have been better off failing the admission test to Basgiath and going straight to the army with the majority of conscripts.

Now this is the line that inspired me to make this post because I don't know if I'm stupid or if my english is failing me.

Earlier in the chapter we have established you need to go to Basgiath if you want to be in service. So how and why does Violet failing the admission test equals to going straight to the army?

If by "the army" Rebecca means to refer to the infantry this needs to be clearer to the reader. I've reread the first half of the chapter so many times, to see if I was missing some context clue, but I don't think I am. Rebecca must think that being a soldier in infantry is different than being a rider but when you get to the bottom of it, it really isn't.

Because by all logic Basgiath is a War College meaning everyone in there will belong to the Navarrian army at some point in their lives, that's the goal of studying there. It doesn't matter in which faction of the army you end up in, the only true thing is that you will serve your country whether you're in infantry, riders, healer or scribe quadrant. You're all part of "a bigger" thing.

So again how does failing equal to going straight to the army?

Would Basgiath accept mediocrity?

And even this logic contradicts itself because the infantry is still set in Basgiath. There is no way Violet could fail the entrance test and still join the army. I know Rebecca probably wanted to give the idea that the only promising future as a Navarrian would be going to the army, and by doing that she’d be criticising the system as a whole, and yet she undoes that in the next two pages.

Each of Navarre’s six provinces has sent this year’s share of candidates for military service. Some volunteer. Some are sentenced as punishment. Most are conscripted. The only thing we have in common here at Basgiath is that we passed the entrance exam—both written and an agility test I still cannot believe I passed—which means at least we won’t end up as fodder for the infantry on the front line.

There's a lot to unpack here, so let's start by world building inconsistencies.

If one needs to pass the entrance exam (is it called admission or entrance exam? decide on a name rebecca for the love of god) to study at Basgiath and to be part of the infantry you need to study there, how would Violet failing mean she would become fodder for the infantry?

As established before Infantry is a part of Navarre's army, also remember when I said that the candidates choose in which faction of the army they will serve? (We are not considering those with a rebellion relic here) That choice means nothing if you're just going to end up in Infantry anyway.

If those at Basgiath are "the smartest and strongest in Navarre" how are you going to accept someone who didn't even pass the admission exam to become a part of your military forces? Again does Basgiath accept mediocrity?

On the topic of the Navarre provinces sending their share of candidates for military service I also have questions: Does each province have a quota which they need to fill? How do the canditates volunteer? Is there some sort of paperwork they need to do to show they want to make part of the military? Is the volunteering made public?

I wrote in my notes that each province may have to send in a specific number of candidates depending on how they helped during Unification. In a way, for the whole country to stay together, the King may have decided it would be best for everyone to have representitives in the army. That way lower income provinces wouldn't be slighted and undermined when it came to the entrance exams.

This is in theory of course, there's always the underlining issue of who gets the better acess to information in order to study. Violet grew up in the archives, the acess to information was a book away, all she needed to do was ask her father for a book and she would have it. When it comes to strength training she didn't even need to queue or wait for any tutor, Lilith got her one immediatly after she informed her she'd be going to the rider's quadrant. I doubt many people get acess to private teachers.

On the other hand, when we look at Rhiannon's situation for example, she grew up in a humble home (i'm basing this on the fact that her twin still lives with her parents even after married or at least very close by), we don't have any indication that her village is either big or small, but we can assume that if they do have a library is not nearly as rich as the archives. That puts her in disadvantage from the start in relation to Violet. I also doubt she had a private teacher for her strength training.

Back at the quote I underlined, I still don't know the difference between sentenced and conscripted seeing as the dictionary says both of those mean being forced to serve in the army, highliting obligation. But that could be my english failing.

Conscripted: to force someone to serve in an army or one of a country's armed forces - Cambridge Dictionary

sentence: to decide and say officially what a punishment will be - Cambridge Dictionary

Do those who are sentenced need to pass the entrance exam to be in Basgiath? They could simply fail on purpose to make sure they don't go. How does Basgiath prevent that? To purposefully fail would be seen as an act of rebellion?

Unfortunately I don't have any theories on these last questions.

This is the only quadrant at Basgiath that doesn’t accept conscripts—only volunteers.

To end this post on a positive note I have to send flowers to Rebecca for this. I'm not sure if it was intentional or not but I'm choosing to believe it was.

The quote above refers to the riders quadrant, they only aceept volunteers, which we know to be a lie. The rebellion kids are sentenced to the riders quadrant, but this is a perfect showcase on how propaganda works. If the law/rules of Basgiath forbid it, logically the government would never force kids into the riders or any specific quadrant, they wouldn't break their own law. Candidates can be sentenced and still choose their own quadrant. Which is why Violet is so surprised when Liam tells her they are forced to the riders quadrant: it's unlawful.

[isekyaaa]

If you don't know me well and you've heard my opinions abt people talking shit, I probably seem like the person that enjoys talking shit about others. To which the truth of the matter is that I don't. Tbh, I feel I do something worse. When I talk about a person to someone else, I break them down from the bottom up by analyzing what makes them so irritating, but also what makes them so great, and I share that analysis with the person I'm talking to. It quickly escalates to bringing up a person's personal issues, traumas, insecurities, etc, and analyzing them under a lens.

[nickssidewitch]

🌪️ ❓ What Is Going On W/ The Sturniolo Triplets? - A Tarot Reading & Honest Conversation 🤔

In this post, I will be answering common questions and tackling misconceptions and assumptions of who they were/are, where their careers are going, and why they seem to be losing some part of their audience. 🥰

While this is mainly based on me channeling their energies (as long with the energies of their general fans / ex-supporters), this is also based on things I have heard them speak on before. If you don't believe in spirituality in this way, that's okay! It ain't for everyone!

I will also include advice for the fans and for the boys within this post, so you can take these into consideration!

This is such an important conversation to have. I feel like as a community, we do not talk transparently in fear of adverse reactions and judgment. We need to be open, honest, and transparent. And yes, this involves the Triplets themselves as well because they are the leaders of this community, and whatever happens within our community should also be tackled by them as well.

I REALLY want the boys and other fans on other platforms to see this. Hopefully y’all post this on other places because I feel that it is veryyyy important for growth, honesty, and transparency. ✨💖💞

“They are losing interest in their YouTube career / fame, or they do not love their jobs anymore.”

This is not true. They love their jobs. They've been dreaming of doing something similar to the YouTubers and streamers they grew up watching. They love to entertain and see smiles on people's faces when they do so. They have a natural need to connect with people through art and encapsulating almost every bit of their lives through a lens.

The reason people may feel that they've lost interest is more related to the fact that they don't post intimate aspects of their lives anymore. In the beginning of their careers, even when it was mainly Chris posting, they would post and include everything and anything in their content. They'd go anywhere and vlog anything. They'd post silly things and post unserious things. They'd even post about their relationships and interests (platonic and romantic). They look back at this period and realize that yes, it helped them gain a significant following, but it also harmed the expectations that fans have of the content they expect now. Fans who were around in pre-2023 may hold the old content near and dear in their hearts because it was every part of their lives shared 2-3 times a week, with other social media apps included. All of their friends were involved and included, even those that are the closest to them. The triplets realize that if they were to do this now with the surplus amount of fans they have currently, it would do their careers more harm than good. I will explain more of what I mean by "harm" further in this post.

They also post not just for the entertainment aspect of it, but also for the nostalgia and comfort it brings them. They grew up in a household where photographs and videos hold every single memory for them. Almost all of their lives have been captured on media, and they would like to keep that going for when they get older, and for their future children. They embrace their youth heavily. They value their inner children deeply. Their inner children feel satisfied and loved when they look back at old content and relive those times. Whether it's a silly moment or a moment where they're fighting, those moments are memories that they can look back on, relive, and reminisce. So posting on YouTube brings their inner children immense satisfaction and comfort.

"They don't interact with fans anymore. This means they do not love their fans."

Part of this is wrong. They do not interact with fans as much as they used to because, for one, there is a higher quantity of fans. It is genuinely hard and stressful to keep up with so many ideas and opinions. They are only human, and they can't handle interacting with so many people.

Secondly, they experience threats, harassment, and stalking a lot more. The new influx of fans has unfortunately made them feel a little bit more unsafe. They have had experiences that they do not share with their fans because they don't want to add onto those experiences. They've shared one that has happened on their Versus Tour where someone threatened to physically harm them (mentioned in the podcast episode but I forgot which one). I can feel that even recently, they've had to deal with someone stalking them online and in person. SO while they will want to establish a better connection with fans, it is harder to do that now because they can't trust everyone and have to protect themselves and their loved ones.

They really want to establish a community. This is a big goal of their careers. But they just don't know how to fully do that, especially with the first two things I mentioned. They want the fans to create a safe space for each other, but they see the fights that occur online and pull back a bit. And again, I said a community, not a fandom. There's a difference. A fandom will all like the same things, but they are more susceptible to full-on fights due to their obsessive or possessive nature. A community supports each other, even when they disagree on certain things, and they also make each other feel accepted and safe. The triplets would love a community, but it's difficult with some of the "fans" or "supporters" they have (quotation marks for a reason lol).

They do have a problem with not listening to the fans, and even if they do listen to them, they aren't transparent with it and sometimes don't even show it. They sometimes turn a blind eye to some ideas. Sometimes, it's because they are focused on one idea that they begin to have tunnel vision and block out everything else. But sometimes it's because they judge it before they try it. This isn't just in YouTube videos, but also Twitch streams. The triplets need to take some suggestions into consideration a lot more. Even if it means doing a trial run of a suggested game on stream and then coming to the conclusion of "This isn't for us, but hey, at least we tried", that will be good enough for the fans. Watching only one form of content from YouTubers who have promised switching things up at times can be exhausting (Yes, I am referring to watching just Fortnite streams).

"Their management is terrible."

Yes, I would agree, but managements always change. And to be honest, they've been looking for a change for a while. They love their manager deeply. They've known her for a good amount of time in their transition between amateur YouTubers to social media stars with fame and recognition, so that love will always be there. But, they also do recognize that in order to grow, they need to change things up and rearrange things. Whatever this translates to, whether its getting a new team altogether or changing who does what within their teams. they are doing their best to do better, even outside of their team.

But fans should also not just blame things on their management. The boys also manage themselves. They have to recognize and be transparent with their audience about whether they are lazy or not, whether they are losing interest in certain things or not, whether they like certain things or not, what they want their schedules to be like, if any schedule at all, or if they are themselves unclear about what they are doing or what they want to do. They do this sometimes, but not all of the time. Transparency is key for a YouTuber's relationship with their fans. Even some gaming YouTubers (who aren't even recording their real lives) are more successful in their careers than others because of their transparency with their supporters (Markiplier, CoryxKenshin, etc.).

“Matt and Nick are rude and judgmental. Chris is the only "good" brother.”

From what I can read on their energies, this is not true. Matt and Nick are as lovely as Chris is in terms of their intentions and hearts. They are warm and accepting people who do care a lot for others. But sometimes they fall into scenes where they will snap and project if they have been particularly triggered by something. Matt and Nick don't trust many. Chris trusts too much too fast.

What I'm saying is not an excuse for poor behavior though. I, and other fans, will not sugarcoat shit just for the sake of saving them. But this is a time where they have to recognize when they say things that are a little too far, not only about the fans. Even if they're telling a silly story about people they'll never meet again, it's not necessarily just about those people. It's about the rhetoric. That way of speaking can just translate to others unintentionally. It's a psychological thing where if you say/phrase something for a long time, it starts to slip in your everyday vernacular and will unintentionally be said to people you didn't mean for it to be said to, and they will take it personally.

And to add onto that, parasocial relationships can make this effect worse. These fans do not know them off camera. So when they say certain things in a certain way, of course the fans are going to take it as rude even if it is not intentional. There is a natural disconnect between them and the fans that can only be mended by fixing the way they speak to the fans, or clarifying with every sarcastic or fake-rude thing that "Hey, I'm joking" or "Don't take this seriously because ..." They do that only sometimes, not every time, and that's why fans get antsy sometimes when they speak. There are also fans who cannot pick up on tone easily (neurodiverse people exist!), so when talking directly to fans they will have to clarify themselves more or just be more direct in their speech.

They all have their shit to work on and get through. This period between 2025 and 2027/28 will be a huge shift in how their personalities and behaviors develop. To the fans, you can stay for the ride and see that journey. But if you don't want to just for the sake of preserving your energy as a fan, that is valid!

“The triplets aren't the same anymore. They have changed.”

Yes, they have. But people also change. That's how humans work. The fans and the triplets lives are on a parallel trajectory where they are constantly evolving. Think of it as two parallel lines. They are both going the same direction. But then something happens and the lines may change angle and intersect. That intersection may be an interaction with them, seeing them on tour, meeting them in person, finding a community of fans that you interact with, creating edits, and so on. But then another change happens down the line where the lines do not intersect anymore. They become parallel again, and may even diverge from each other. But they are still growing. I use this analogy to paint the picture that sometimes people disconnect when change occurs because their values, humor, outlooks on life may not align anymore. And that is totally okay. If a fan feels disconnected to them due to change, that is valid. Their lives are going in completely separate paths that the triplets' and their content aren't compatible with.

People are afraid of change. It's uncomfortable for many, especially the younger or less mature/experienced they are with changes. The triplets have grown up so much, but are in that transition stage between teenager to adult (they are 21 turning 22 this year; still young but definitely getting older and their frontal lobes are still developing and shifting with new traits and ideals). Change is expected.

Don't bash them for natural change. You can totally call them out on bullshit. But if it's Nick standing up for himself and his brothers or being more vocal about his opinions in a way that isn't rude, or if it's Matt being more loud and energetic, these things just happen. If it doesn't align with the personalities or behaviors you like or feel comfortable with, it is okay to not follow them anymore!

"The tours are cash-grabs."

No, they genuinely do want to connect with their audience live. They want to see people's faces in the crowd. Their smiles, their laughs, their snorting even, are all infectious and a great morale booster. They definitely find enjoyment in other people's enjoyment.

Of course, money is going to be earned from this. But that's just a part of the process. To be honest, they'd even do this without the money, but obviously a venue ain't gonna give them their stage for free. They're not trying to rob anyone or make people's pockets hurt. They want people to have a good time.

But they do accept criticism. If something isn't working, they'll take that as a learning experience and won't do it for the next tour. This is a community, and this will work if the community is transparent and honest with each other.

"The triplets are one-trick ponies. They promise better content and preach 'quality over quantity', but aren't showing that. They don't live up to their promises."

This adds onto my previous point of them not listening to fans because they simply just give off the energy that they are one-trick ponies based on their behaviors. I don't personally think they are one-trick ponies, but I can see how people translate them to be this way.

They don't switch up editing styles. Their editing is boring. It is unique, but it's boring unique. That ain't even subjective. This is objectively why their content doesn't seem better in quality. Where's the little cuts and funny sounds in almost every video? That keeps people engaged. We're in an era where if people are consuming long-form content, it has to be engaging almost every minute. It isn't like mid-2010s YouTube vlogging where people didn't really have to do that. We're in a TikTok era where YouTubers have to keep up with that sort of engagement and humor. The triplets don't serve that at all.

I'm not bashing Nick's editing style. Just saying that they can level up the quality of that, especially since they're talking about improving quality all the time. I'm speaking from a technical and business side of this YouTube career. They can hire an editor who they can communicate with if the editing is becoming an issue (idk if it is; I'm just spitballing).

Quality over quantity isn't being shown. Their content as of lately (not referring to the videos where they are obviously posting just to post because they are preparing for tour) is pretty mundane. They just talk and use certain props and topics as vehicles (not actual cars lmao) for conversation. That isn't entertaining all of the time and gets long-winded. Do some challenges outside! Do that little gameshow thing like how they did it in that one Christmas video where Nick was some gameshow host named Barry. Do a little gaming video every now and then (they don't have to do series). Pranks? Trying new things that aren't just food and cooking and toys? More exploring and travelling? Individual channel content? Doing things outside of your comfort zones? Even videos that are heavy-hitters where you talk about some real and deep shit. Idk. Just think of something.

"The Sturniolo Triplets are in their downfall."

There's some saying that says "in order to gain something, you have to lose something". This applies to the triplets 100%. They are losing a good amount of their audience and viewership, which you can obviously see in their statistics.

However, would I call this their "downfall"? Not quite. This is a wake-up call if anything. Losing these fans and followers allows them to get a reality check of what is working and what isn't working in the most obvious way. I'm not telling people to mass unfollow so they can get better. That's not how this works. I'm saying that when there is an obvious decline of numbers, it is surely an eye-opener.

These are the ones I can think of for now. If you have any other things you would like me to tackle in a post like this, whether it be the Sturniolos as a group or individually, leave those assumptions or questions in the replies of this post. 💕💕

I REALLY want the boys and other fans on other platforms to see this.

Again, this obviously isn't hate, nor is it me coming up with excuses for them. Just a little something-something. 🤷🏾‍♀️🫶🏾

[gaywineauntsstuff]

Question?

We talk about how Tim, Jason and Damian’s parents raised them pre Bruce but why don’t we talk about Dick Graysons.

Bc even before all of the court of the owls shit the way that man was raised was wild.

So remember Dick was a member and active participant of a circus as a child. A trapeze act without a net who was expected to pull his weight since he could walk.

That means that despite what everyone thinks John and Mary Grayson absolutely could not afford to gentle parent their child.

At all.

Dick had to know how dangerous his life was forever. He has to be perfect because if he fails him or his parents die. They die with a mistake. Don’t stretch your hand out far enough and someone falls.

And despite the fact that the Romani aspect of his character was born out of a writers need for fetish content. I still find it interesting to explore.

And since I am European! Halys circus truther

It gets more interesting because the anti-Romani sentiment in Europe is vile, obvious and violent. (And I say this as a poc who grew up outside of Europe and moved here for college. Like you’d never imagine the type of shit they say about a group of people with no shame before turning around and commenting about how crazy it is that poc are treated poorly in the rest of the world.) Now imagine your child is working a dangerous gig while being part of a hated minority and you have to go and advertise your whole families location because you are the centerpiece of a show.

Yall think Mary and John Grayson didn’t teach their kid to lie? To fit in with any group humanly possible.

You think Mary and John didn’t teach dick to switch from, mama to mom to Daj. To switch accents and tones and languages since before he could walk on his hands?

You think that this kid who grew up traveling everywhere wouldn’t know how to integrate himself so fully into the society he’s in that he’s invisible as an outsider?

When Dick talks to Bruce in Juvie right before hes taken in as a ward he has an American accent. A Gotham accent and not the ones the other kids has no Dick has a Bristol accent. When he first meets Alfred he has a charming softly British accent, the kind that isn’t immediately noticeable unless you share the accent. The softening of the vowels and heavy central consonants. Think kids who went to British schools abroad and learned English from people with British accents.

Bruce notices this but doesn’t think much of it I mean kids can adapt to their environments startlingly quick maybe the kid just kinda picks up accents.

But then Dick becomes robin and he’s horrifically good at it from the get go.

Which sends alarm bells in Alfred’s head because he raised Bruce at that age. He taught Bruce to defend himself at that age. Bruce wouldn’t be about to do 1/10 of what this kid can do.

No eight year old should be able to throw items with that sort of precision even a child as good at gymnastics as dick. No child should be that comfortable with a knife in his hand.

And of course dick always had an excuse, he grew up around fire breathers and knife throwers of course he’s good.

And Bruce notices when Dick goes out as Robin and begins to help people because for the first few months, he never speaks first.

He’ll save someone and when they thank him, he’ll reply in their exact accent.

The crime alley rougher tones

The high class smarmy Bristol accent

The open vowel Jersey accent

When he meets Superman there’s the barest edges of midwestern twang in his every word.

And it’s just unnerving

He flickers between cultures like their clothes in his wardrobe, accents like they’re a new set of perfectly fit shoes.

He’s just good at it.

And it’s a game to him.

He sees how close he can get to your accent without coming off as suspicious.

By the time he’s being doing the Robin shtick for a while and knows the areas he just immediately switches to the most common accent there even if there aren’t any people around.

His facial expressions and hand gestures change as well.

It adds to the myth of the Batman because the gcpd for a long while believes any Robin reportings to be a myth because one minute someone is reporting a Jersey accent the next genial Californian, or a tv safe reporter tone, one minute the kid is conversing in perfect Russian the next he’s speaking Spanish like he grew up in Mexico.

When he wants to get away with a mistake his voice switches to one indistinguishable from a scared child, with a mild stutter, overgramarization and the scared world slurring children do that makes your heart soft

When he wants people to listen to him his he’s eloquent and enunciating perfectly. He sounds far older than his years.

And everyone thinks they’re hearing the real Dick Grayson speak and it makes their hearts happy because look at how he puts on a show for everyone but trusts me enough to talk without lying.

Without ever realizing that they’re one of the people watching the show.

[thezinedirective-inactive]

The Zine Directive FAQ

We will update this information periodically, but wanted to "put some words on the page" so to speak. If we missed your question, please DM us!

So, what's going on here?!

Will the zine have a theme?

Will it be explicit?

What is the timeline?

How much will the zine cost?

How can I get a copy?

How do I become a contributor/Why wasn't I asked to contribute?

I was asked to contribute, but I haven't heard anything. Should I be worried?

How else can I help/get involved?

So, what’s going on here?!

We're making a fanzine with one mission: To pay homage to those who came before us in this wonderful, timeless fandom that is Star Trek. The goal is to produce something that will be directly comparable to the fanzines of old; Typed on typewriters, printed & copied at a print shop (yes, even those pages), bound by hand, and sent to recipients in the mail. There are some aspects that may not translate to the 2020s, but we will try our best to be as authentic as possible. Luckily, we've secured involvement from several of the lovely women who were actually there making zines in the 70s, 80s, and 90s to guide us :) More on this will be announced soon!

Will the zine have a theme?

Not exactly, but it will exclusively feature Star Trek: The Original Series (+ films). This is not done to exclude AOS, SNW, or other Treks, but rather to celebrate the one that started it all. However, it will be a K/S slash zine (mcspirk also welcome!) so if you're not into seeing Kirk and Spock smooch, this one might not be for you ;)

Will it be explicit?

Yes :) How explicit will depend entirely on our artists and authors. Purchase age will be strictly 18+.

What is the timeline?

The 60th anniversary of Star Trek is September 8th, 2026. So while the official release is TBD, it will be around this time. Fics (and other writing, like poetry) will need to be finished earlier than artwork so we have time to organize companion illos. We also need ample time to type everything by hand on our typewriters, leaving room for broken equipment and/or user error (both of which are equally likely to happen). We expect assembly to take several months since us editors are doing this for the first time and also have jobs/families/school to think about. Once we have a more concrete timeline, that will be shared directly with our contributors to include deadlines and check-ins.

How much will the zine cost?

To be perfectly clear, this project is 100% nonprofit. That is very important to us not just for legal reasons, but moral ones. This means the cost of the zine will not exceed what was put into the materials, assembly, postage, etc. Similarly sized zines in 1970 were in the range of $3-$5, which is about $25-$40 today. We will do everything in our power to keep the price as low as we possibly can.

How can I get a copy?

We will make several announcements leading up to sign ups. As of right now, it is very likely we will have to limit the zine to < 200 copies. After some time has passed we will release it digitally, so don't fret if you're not able to get your hands on one! If there’s enough interest we may also do a second publication :)

How do I become a contributor/Why wasn't I asked to contribute?

As of right now, we do not have an open submission process. We would love to include EVERY piece of art, but with a physical zine we are limited by physical space, so we will have to be more discerning than we might like. As time goes on and the table of contents is decided we will announce more opportunities to contribute, so follow the blog to be aware of those! You can always feel free to DM us if you're interested, but we can't guarantee there will be room for everyone who does this. If your idea doesn't fit exactly, we'll try our best to find a way for you to be a part of it.

I was asked to contribute, but I haven't heard anything. Should I be worried?

No!!! We are working diligently to get everything set up, we promise. We have not forgotten about you <3 Kat (spirk-trek) is dealing with difficulties on Tumblr at the moment, in that she's unable to send or receive messages. If you're trying to get ahold of her please do so through this blog or on discord (katruyck) until further notice.

How else can I help/get involved?

First of all, thank you for asking. This kind of question really warms our hearts! If we decide to take donations of any kind, we will share that further down the line. This would be to cover costs only, and any excess would be donated to fanlore or other archival efforts. We won't do this if we don't have to, and would really rather not. If you're interested in taking a more involved position in the process, please message us about becoming a mod, especially if you're good with discord, have experience making physical zines, have a working typewriter, or are really passionate about fanzine history like we are!

Thank you for reading, and for being here at the start of our journey :)

[oddyseye]

What is Xenia?

Xenia is not just good manners. Xenia a test of character, and it's also a reflection of how the Greeks understood the relationship between humans and gods. Xenia was about more than offering food and shelter to travelers. It was a demonstration of how the gods governed human interactions and a reminder of the importance of hospitality as a virtue. The host was expected to offer protection, provisions, and shelter, often without asking the guest for any information or demanding any immediate return. The guest, in turn, was expected to be respectful, not to take advantage of the host's kindness, and to eventually offer something in return, though this could be more symbolic or reciprocal rather than transactional.

One of the key aspects of xenia was the idea that hosts could never know whether their guest might be a god in disguise. The gods were thought to frequently take on human forms to test mortals' hospitality. This divine oversight made it all the more important to treat every guest with respect, as any breach could bring dire consequences. This belief extended to travelers, strangers, and even those whose identities were unknown — showing hospitality was considered a moral obligation, an offering to the gods as much as to the human guest. While gifts were often involved, the true essence of xenia lay in the trust between the parties: the guest trusted the host to provide, and the host trusted the guest not to abuse their hospitality.

Violating xenia was one of the gravest offenses a person could commit. The punishment for such violations wasn’t just a matter of breaking a social norm; it was seen as a violation of divine order.

Xenia, in Homer's world, is a divine law.

The gods themselves are said to be the ultimate enforcers of xenia, so you'd better believe that disrespecting hospitality could get you in serious trouble. It's not just offering your guest a meal; it's offering protection, shelter, and a safe passage. If you don't uphold that, you're basically tempting the gods to mess with you, and they love doing that, trust me.

Remember when Telemachus first lands in Pylos? Nestor and his family treat him with the utmost respect, offering food, shelter, and stories (and Telemachus finds himself a boyfriend even LMFAOO). This hospitality isn't just a nice gesture; it's a social obligation that reinforces both the personal and communal ties within Greek society. Everyone's in this together, and they all have a part to play. Telemachus' growing appreciation for this custom reflects his coming-of-age journey, as he sees first-hand what it means to be both the host and the guest in the grand game of survival and honor.

For those who are yet to read the Odyssey, the scene basically goes like this:

“You’re the son of my old war buddy, Odysseus? Welcome! Come in, sit down, have food, have shelter, don’t ask questions- Here, my son is your age, share a bed with him :3 !!”

It's the perfect example of how xenia isn't just about being polite; it's about honor (excluding that last part lol). It's about building trust with someone you don't know based on a shared understanding that we're all part of this cosmic social contract. And Telemachus? He's learning that he's part of a much bigger world than just his little island. But he knew how to respect xenia even before he left Ithaca. We see this when he invites Mentor (Athena in disguise) into his home and offers him the munchies before even asking for the stranger's name. He's practically the golden boy of xenia.

And now let's talk about my favorite group of people — the suitors.

Honestly, they're just...the worst at xenia. Like, they didn't even try. Antinous? This guy is the poster child for everything you should NOT do in literally ALL of Ancient Greece. He straight-up mocks Odysseus, who's dressed as a beggar, by insulting him and telling him to leave, throwing a chair at him, and...shocker, he's the first to die. Who's surprised?

Xenia is a two-way street. It's not just what you get — it's what you give. You can't take all the food, drink all the wine, and then act like the host is just there for your enjoyment. You've got to offer something back. That's the whole point of xenia. And sure, you might not have gold and riches to give, but you can show gratitude. You can at least not insult the person whose house you're eating in.

Now, there's one suitor who stands out in the worst possible way, and I'm talking about Eurymachus. You know, this guy isn't just disrespectful, he's an outright traitor to Odysseus. Eurymachus was not just another arrogant man in Odysseus' hall; he was someone who, as a child, had been a guest in Odysseus' home. He was one of those who had been taken care of by Odysseus, fed and treated well. This relationship makes his betrayal all the more significant because it wasn't merely about a stranger dishonoring a host. It was about someone who should have known better, someone who had once been treated as part of the family, turning on Odysseus when the opportunity arose. Eurymachus' betrayal was far worse because it was not simply a violation of xenia; it was a betrayal of trust. He had been in Odysseus' house as a boy, and now he was trying to usurp everything Odysseus had built.

Then, of course, there's Amphinomus. The one suitor who has a tiny bit of decency. He's like, "Hey, maybe we shouldn't kill the beggar and the prince, maybe we should be decent human beings...Please??" And yet he's still part of the whole disgusting group. He doesn't even try to follow xenia; he just doesn't get as bad as the rest of them. So congrats, you're the “least bad” one. But that's like being the least offensive stain on a white shirt. You're still part of the mess. I still think he should have been spared and I would have kissed his cheek for it, but whatever.

The suitors were trash hosts because they didn't respect the rules of hospitality. They took, they didn't give back, and they thought they could get away with it because they were powerful. Well, guess what? No one's untouchable. Not even rich, entitled jerks like Antinous. There's a reason those guys met their end the way they did, and it's because they broke the most sacred rule in Greek society.

Because xenia is not just guarded by the gods, but by Zeus himself.

Zeus' disinterest in Odysseus' personal life is clear, but when it comes to the suitors? That's a whole different story. While he might not always be in Odysseus' corner, Zeus has no tolerance for anyone who dares to violate the divine laws of xenia — particularly when it involves the destruction of a sacred home. I will remind you, Odysseus was a KING. The suitors are not just disrespectful; they're an insult to the gods. And when Telemachus prays for their downfall, and Zeus takes notice, and he responds. His action is swift and dramatic, a sign to all that the gods are paying attention. The deadliest omen Zeus could send is unleashed — two eagles, fierce and fighting, tear at each other over the heads of the people. It's a promise that the suitors' time is running out. What's key here, though, is that Telemachus' prayers don't fall on deaf ears. Zeus doesn't just show his wrath through omens; he actively watches over Telemachus on his journey. When Telemachus sets sail, the sea itself is dangerous and unpredictable, but Zeus protects him, ensuring that he does not meet the same fate as many other men who venture into the vast unknown. In a way, Telemachus becomes the embodiment of the gods' will. He is protected, guided, and tested.

Zeus may be unpredictable, but when it comes to the suitors, he is clear. They've broken the divine laws of hospitality, and their fate is sealed. It's not just Odysseus who will return to Ithaca — it's Telemachus, now under the gods' protection, who will be key in restoring order. The suitors, as arrogant as they are, might have thought they could escape the laws of the gods. But when Zeus speaks, no mortal can escape divine justice. I would like to add that Penelope was not exactly the host. Penelope, despite being a queen, isn't really seen as the one holding the hospitality duties. It's Telemachus who's stepping up to do the job. He takes on the responsibility that comes with being the son of Odysseus. He is the man of the house, making him the proper host (no matter how unwanted these guests were). This is why Penelope is allowed to, you know, stay locked inside her room all day. Telemachus is not. As the host, he has to keep the suitors in check. Penelope's ability to host is muted because of the chaos the suitors bring, and because it's not her job in the grand scheme of things. She's playing a supporting role now, keeping the suitors entertained with her wit and tricks, maintaining the appearance of a woman in control, while Telemachus is out here actually doing the hosting duties. Had Penelope been the one to oversee the hospitality, Eurymachus could have been spared. Why? Because the suitors who gave Penelope gifts (and I'm talking about real, physical, valuable offerings) would have been seen as showing respect to Odysseus through her, and the gods would have intervened. If Penelope had shown Eurymachus even the slightest favor, Odysseus would've been in the position to forgive him. The gods might've even compelled him to spare Eurymachus for the sake of their bond. But nope. That's not what's going down here. The suitors aren't just disrespecting Penelope; they're disrespecting Telemachus, who is the true host of the household. So their fate is sealed the moment they disrespect him.

Amphinomus, for all his faults, wasn't totally awful. He had the sense to not join in on the worst of the disrespect. He even suggested that maybe they should go easy on Telemachus and the beggar. If Amphinomus had left, like, actually left, as per Odysseus' advice, he could have been spared. Why? Because his mistake was one of passive disrespect. He wasn't actively mocking Telemachus, but he wasn't doing enough to step up and stop the madness either. In the end, when he refused to leave, he sealed his fate. Because as long as he stayed in that house, violating xenia by staying after the laws were already broken, he was part of the problem. So yeah, the suitors had it coming. And if any of them had actually understood the sacredness of their role as guests, they might have seen the signs, repented, and avoided the mess they got themselves into. But as it is, none of them learned the lesson, and in the end, their disrespect for Telemachus (and Odysseus once he returned) led to their doom. At the heart of xenia was the idea of balance: a guest should not overstay their welcome, and a host should not neglect their duty to care for their guest. Both sides of the exchange were expected to uphold their part of the contract to ensure the social harmony that the concept of xenia represented. Whether it was a nobleman offering shelter to a wandering traveler or a stranger arriving at a city and receiving shelter from a local family, xenia was meant to bind individuals to a larger, sacred social order that ensured mutual respect and protection. Those who followed the rules of xenia were seen as civilized, as they respected the basic social contracts that allowed society to function. On the other hand, those who violated xenia were labeled barbaric, their behavior seen as a sign of moral decay. Xenia isn't just about food and shelter; it's about trust, honor, and not getting struck down by the gods. Offer respect or expect divine consequences. Hospitality isn't just a rule, it's a cosmic law. And the gods love enforcing it.

[dreamwritersworld]

His daughter (sully family x reader) part 3

Days went on and soon months went on and the two teens continued to grow a stronger bond. Jake had tried multiple times to make something out of their friendship but all siblings denied it was anything more than that. Neytiri slightly knew that it was becoming more however..

*

“…and he walked me to our Maui…Ao’nung is sweet mama, he’s perfect..my best friend!”

Neytiri saw it, she saw the love begin to form in Y/n’s eyes and voice as she continued to speak about Ao’nung and their small walks around the island. Being in a new area of course had the parents on alert, but for once Neytiri allowed it. This would be the first person Y/n genuinely talked to since their move, she felt as a mother she should let her be free for once. Neytiri realized that it would all go by calmly if everyone just settled in and got comfortable with their ways…who was she to tell Y/n to deny the leaders son whom was attempting to show her more of his world and perspective? At least that’s the excuse she held in her head, and when Jake questioned their relationship..she stayed quiet.

*

Everyone knew. The group of teens even knew.

*

“Where you going Y/n-“

“With Ao’nung Neteyam!”

“Oh..okay!”

In between the pause was a smirk shared between him and Lo’ak, teasing Y/n about her relationship that was waiting to begin. Everyone got comfortable in their steering bond waiting to become more, even Tuk!

“Wait! Wait sister! Can I come?!”

Kiri quickly got up to pull Tuk with her and Tsireya, wanting it to just be Ao’nung and Y/n.

“no..sh!…stop it.”

There was whispered protesting to Tuk’s request from Kiri but Y/n would never deny her baby sister even if everyone wanted her to.

“Come on Tuk! We can find some gems!”

Tuk ran like never before allowing Ao’nung to pick her up onto his shoulders. To the rest of the teens who saw their back facing them…they looked absolutely perfect. They were walking in the sunset, and without looking at their face you’d think they were a beautiful family..

*

At first it must not be denied that Tonowari and Ronal were iffy about the relationship and they too had denied it being “something”. However with a smile that wide from Ao’nung every time he came home after spending time with her … how much more can you deny it?

Tonowari and Ronal especially grew to accept the relationship. They saw Y/n prosper in their world and environment. She was good at that, accepting Eywa’s world. The strict parents didn’t deny or forbid Ao’nung from continuing to fall in love with Y/n…because they felt the same. Y/n was good with the people and she loved them every part of someone’s culture even if it wasn’t hers.

So there Y/n was sitting at the shore laughing with Ao’nung about every aspect of their world. It was obvious to Y/n that Ao’nung had some troubling parts of him, far to unserious and she was fine with that because she also viewed him as responsible.

It should be noted that although Jake knows they aren’t the top tier family anymore, he still treats his family as they were to be. He expected even higher expectations from them since he knew all of the island had their eyes on them. Jake was even told things by villagers about his daughter…

*

“Yes! My family is loving your guys culture and the ways of water.”

The group of men laughed at him.

“Yea we’re sure of that! Your daughter is settling in just fine with our future leaders! And so is your son! I’d say a little over friendly even!!”

Jake awkwardly laughed at this, trying to gloss over the fact that he just said that about his kids. Lo’ak had openly been getting friendly with Tsireya and that was fine because they were just kids it’d pass over…but Y/n? She could never do that. She was too gentle for that kind of position in this environment the clan would rip her apart since she wasn’t from there. Jake sat quietly next to the group of men who continued their conversation…he sat there brewing all these thoughts of Ao’nung and Y/n, they were just friends weren’t they?..

*

For the most part, Ao’nung was ok with her father not knowing because they were just “friends” at the moment. The group knew them as friends who had liked each other but they didn’t believe they’d admit it..until they did.

Y/n and Ao’nung happened to be doing chores together, trying to rush so that they’d have time for themselves. They were laughing in front of each other and suddenly they felt super close..close enough to kiss. And so Y/n did, she went for it and pulled Ao’nung forward. When they pulled away there was a moment of surprise from the both of them..

“Woah..”

“I’m sorry..I-i don’t know-“

Ao’nung interrupted her ramble before kissing her again and for the first time they finally embraced each other. They allowed what they denied for the longest to finally become true. Both of them went home with love and prosperity growing stronger within them.

The couple inevitably knew to keep their relationship underground, sure everyone speculated..but it’s nothing compared to actually being confirmed. The clan loved Y/n but it would all come down to their parents…most importantly Y/n’s parents…Their love would have to shamefully be kept a secret for the months to come..

But that secret was cut short…because what the teens had not known was that Jake had caught them when he passed by to drop off some supplies that Tonowari told him Ao’nung would need. It took everything in him to not stop them right then and there, he knew that he’d separate his daughter and Ao’nung for good if he just waited till she got home. And so it was tonight that Jake told Y/n that she should hang out less with Ao’nung because she clearly wasn’t doing the best in adapting to the island, it was a total lie considering what he said was the opposite. He said it though because he knew it’d bother Y/n and Jake believed she wouldn’t even argue against him this time…considering, she would be more concerned with her improvements…however she wasn’t. She knew her father’s ways and she tried to break out from his chain peacefully.

Jake was standing there furious and upset against the Maui, working on his weapon and cleaning them up.

“…you should see Ao’nung less. I’m requesting you to listen this once Y/n..they say you aren’t improving and you aren’t the best compared to everyone. It wasn’t like that at home with you Y/n.”

“This isn’t my home father-“

“It is now. You need to be careful with your words Y/n.”

Y/n sighed trying to go about it peacefully so that he would ease up on the idea of separating her and Ao’nung.

“…he’s just a friend sir-“

“Just a friend? Do you seriously think I don’t know what’s going on?”

“Of course not father, because there isn’t anything-“

“Y/n you spread another lie out that mouth and you aren’t seeing him anymore.”

The teen stood there, staring at him as he continued sharpening the blade. It was like he was scaring her heart with each sharpening, she had finally grew a real connection with someone and now Jake wanted to take that away. In that moment Y/n tried her best to hold the desperation in her voice low..

“…I’m sorry. I know that sometimes you think I lie and not be a good person. But…”

He continued sharpening harsher and ignoring her words

“I’m not lying. We’re just friends so…please don’t tell me that Ao’nung and I can’t speak.”

“I can say whatever I want to say to you Y/n! How could you?! You and Ao’nung are already seeing each other! I saw you two on the beach! I mean seriously keeping the biggest secret like that away from me?!”

Y/n gasped at the words coming out her father’s mouth and all she could do was let out a sob. He was ready to take whatever he wanted away from her…and he didn’t even care.

“Please. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I-I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I’m ungrateful and I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I wanted more..but please don’t forbid him from me…please.”

“Y/n! This conversation is over!”

Right then and there Y/n collapsed to the floor, crying and begging Jake to just look at her and feel an ounce of sympathy. If only Jake took a little bit of more time to realize the Y/n and Ao’nung were practically his own love story…except this time…it was someone who raised Y/n and whom she grew up to trust…that would ultimately betray her.

It hurts Neytiri to watch Y/n beg for more than just a book to live by, she was practically begging for love.

For that single moment Y/n heard ringing in her ears as she drained out everything just crying on the floor begging him.

“…Jake that’s enough.”

“Neytiri? Are you kidding me? She’s a little girl-“

“She’s your little girl yes, but to the world? She isn’t. In front of Eywa, she’s already growing up to be a women…allow her this Jake, Y/n can swear that they’ll remain friends during her training.”

The sigh Jake let out shower pure frustration at his wife’s needs..

“fine. Y/n I will allow you to be friends with Ao’nung but nothing more.”

Y/n looked up from her blurry hands, disparity and anger wash over her as she looks up to her father. An exhausted and emotional Y/n couldn’t no longer argue and instead shook her head to walk away.

She knew, he showed no signs of relenting no matter how much y/n argued, begged, or cried.

When it came down to who to comfort. For the first time, Neytiri chose Y/n. When her mothers skin touched her, she settled in it and fell asleep to the hand that was running through her hair.

In the early morning when everyone asleep but them, Neytiri decided to just ask the question. How was Y/n really..?

“My child is it true?”

“…is what true?..”

“That you want us to “let you go” as you say, that you feel almost “too tight”

“Yes, please. I want to at least breathe my own air. I love you mother but I cannot keep doing this to myself.”

Neytiri’s heart ached for the longest…she took a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. Y/n could see her mother struggling to understand or process the words Y/n has expressed, she couldn’t bare to be disappointed again.

“..you know im just tired of talking about it. im tired-“

“No. You can talk to Ao’nung Y/n please talk to him. Continue whatever relationship you have, but always remember that I’m here. Just don’t keep arguing with your father it tears my heart.”

“Ok…”

In the moment Y/n agreed happily but as they sat in the silence Y/n couldn’t help but get frustrated. She was upset that she agreed to not argue with her father anymore knowing it was something she could not keep. She was also upset that these arguments hurt her mother as well…

!🎀!

Feedback please! And what kind of plot twist would you guys be looking for?? If so, I don’t know if this is my last one, this is just for fun :) Again, js trying to find my way back🩷

Tag list: @ruyaas-world @neteyamyanw3 @elegantkidfansoul @adaydreamaway08 @luxiniary @venomsvl @ratchetprime211 @mushy-mushroom04 @alohastitch0626 @sillysillygyal

[lolokouhm]

Geto Suguru is usually a good wingman, but when it comes to you, it appears there's an exception.

Geto may not be the honoured one, but he's always had a honour of his own. He knows himself well. He can carry himself with dignity. He rarely gets angry or annoyed, because every negative emotion can be dealt with. Just like that, right?

Wrong.

Apparently, his honour, dignity and sense of self is being put under some sort of a trial that he definitely did not sign up for - or at least has no memory of doing so. Has he come to this party willingly? Yes. Has he been drinking tonight? Yup. Has Gojo told him that you'd be there? He might have, yeah. Well, wait, no. Scratch that. He knew you'd be there even without Satoru's help. Otherwise, well - he probably wouldn't come.

But there he is, a wingman to his best friend, who's - applause, everyone - drunk flirting with you like there's no tomorrow. With you of all people. Gojo's been making you laugh like crazy for the past ten minutes, and there's only one word on Suguru's mind.

Shit.

He should have known. He should have noticed. Satoru Gojo has been his best friend since high school, and they've had their own fair share of girls they've been attracted to - one way or another. Their type was somehow completely different, but apparently this time something went wrong. Maybe the moon, the stars and the whole fucking galaxy got rearranged tonight and that is the reason why Gojo cannot stay away from you - the girl Geto's been pining on for the past few weeks.

He could always choose someone else - there are some pretty girls here, no doubt about that. They even seem nice. But that's the problem. They are nice. You aren't nice.

You are a walking chaos, a catastrophe on a pair of very pretty legs, always loud and incredibly judgy, but smart and witty at the same time. Geto really likes talking to you - it's like you shine even brighter when you open your mouth, which is not something that he's used to. Well, the thought of you opening your mouth for not-so-conversational purposes also crossed his mind a few times, he couldn't deny it, but tried his best not to focus on that aspect.

That's how Suguru finds himself in the kitchen, looking for another beer to pop open and drown his frustrations in, when suddenly a certain someone gets inside as well. The two of you start talking and somehow, suddenly, you confess.

Just like that. Eyes wide open, cheeks blushing, you suddenly start saying things. Things he wouldn't expect you to say, by no means, especially after you seemed so happy talking to his best friend. And normally he'd think a little bit more before acting, but he is irritated, he's drunk and he's awfully in love, so this time he doesn't.

What he does though, is way better than the things he doesn't do. Especially after you take him right to your room. He's the good type. The best. Asking, waiting, taking care of every part of your body, ignoring the urging needs that you've inflicted on him with your bare existence. You're always first. Always taken care of.

He's way too good with his fingers. He's way too good with his tongue. He's way too good, thrusting into you, quiet moans leaving his lips when you shiver and clench around him. Maybe he's a shitty friend, but just tonight.

Just this once.

masterlist ❤️

[zahri-melitor]

Dick isn't Damian's Parent

Thinking again about the push to see Dick as parental towards Damian and the reasons it does not land for me (and is not my reading of the Dick!Bats era):

There’re a few points I want to establish up front:

Not every person who cares for or supervises a child is their parent or guardian.

Having the ability to set boundaries and consequences for a child is more persuasive of parenting but not determinative.

My fundamental determination is the ability to make decisions on behalf of the child and about the child, including in respect to boundaries and consequences, is what places a person in a parental position to a child.

If you have ever spent any time around parenting groups or online parenting forums, you have heard the debate over “the dad is not ‘babysitting his kids’ he’s parenting”. (My apologies for everyone who just experienced immediate war flashbacks) But while this traditional devaluing of what is expected from fathers in relation to active parenting of their children, it’s a discussion that at its core has an important kernel of truth: when is the person supervising a child parenting the kid, and when are they a carer? And in traditional divisions of childrearing, fathers did not do a lot of the hands-on parenting, leading to the ‘babysitting the kids for the wife’ joke. Because the guts of parenting: setting boundaries; setting and enforcing consequences; the day to day ‘keeping a kid alive’ work of food and clothing and medical appointments; of supervising children; of teaching rules and emotional regulation; of making care decisions on their behalf? A lot of that fell on the mother. (Even in that awful dynamic of the consequence of bad behaviour being ‘wait til your father gets home (as he’ll belt you)’ from a mother, she’s still the one establishing the boundary that was broken, and setting the consequence – seeing the father for discipline).  

Fundamentally, the relationship between a superhero and their sidekick is not a necessarily parental one. It’s better framed as mentoring, particularly when there’s an adult-child dynamic in the relationship. Is Dick!Bats and Tim!Robin a parent-child relationship? No, even though Dick actually spends a chunk of their time teaching Tim skills and mentoring him (including housework! Actually a lot of housework! Dick cooks for Tim and gets him to help sweep and shows him how to do laundry).

‘Is Dick parenting Damian’ comes accompanied by a second question: is Alfred parenting Damian? Because I will happily argue that Alfred is doing the lion’s share of day to day childcare of Damian outside of costume.

If we define the period that Dick has effective custody of Damian as Battle for the Cowl to Flashpoint (given Bruce is only intermittently home between his return and Flashpoint), then we have a number on panel moments outside of things that are pure vigilante field decisions that should be considered in regards to ‘who is Damian’s parent’.

We have Alfred declaring that someone needs to take responsibility for Damian (as he won’t, step up Dick). However. Once Alfred has arranged the situation to his liking (aka he is not the Official Person In Charge of Damian), he…proceeds to act exactly like he always does in regards to anyone living in the Wayne household: he cooks their food, cleans their clothes, supervises underage members of the household during the day when other people aren’t around, tends their injuries, may send them to bed, is arguably educating Damian during this period if Damian is in fact receiving any formal education (Damian is not in school during Reborn), etc. This is actually a massive chunk of the day to day responsibilities of parenting. Now, that doesn’t make Alfred Damian’s parent: first of all there’s the ‘Alfred is paid to do this’ aspect of Alfred’s relationship with all the Waynes, which can never be overlooked, just like another family might hire a babysitter or an au pair or a nanny or a servant/���help’ to do a lot of the basic labour associated with raising a kid. Or that child might be in daycare or school where they are again under paid adult supervision. Secondly, Alfred very clearly is disclaiming his responsibility for making decisions on behalf of Damian. He is saying it is not his job to arrange education for Damian or to financially support him, or to set boundaries and consequences for Damian’s actions. He can and will enforce rules and boundaries others set, but he won’t decide what they should be.

Setting Boundaries and Consequences This is something I do agree Dick does somewhat, in regards to Damian. However I will point out he is…not great at it.

This is a major issue, as Damian is in desperate need of boundaries given his upbringing, even more than an average child his age, and his testing those boundaries is rarely reacted to in an adequate manner to make Damian feel safe while still enforcing consequences for bad behaviour. (This is a recurring problem for Damian as a character ever since his introduction, up to the present, actually).

There are a lot of children who have parents who are bad at setting boundaries and consequences. Ask any teacher or coach (or any parent about That Kid at playgroup). But it’s also a sign of someone who’s not actually parenting a child, particularly when there isn’t a more convincing argument for why that person is the ‘parent’ (such as legal responsibility as parent/guardian).

There are three prominent moments I can pick out around the early Dick and Damian relationship over Dick enforcing boundaries and consequences with Damian: the Red Robin #1 fight Dick breaks up between Tim and Damian; the Hit List fight in Red Robin #14 between Tim and Damian; and the War of the Robins situation in Batman & Robin (2011), particularly Dick’s reaction in #12.

In short: Dick is trying what’s commonly considered ‘gentle’ parenting, but fails to enforce any consequences for Damian’s actions. Let’s go through this.

Red Robin #1: this is the least parental and most big brother and ‘overwhelmed and just reacting’ of all three situations. In terms of what Dick does towards Damian’s actions: he tells Damian to ‘shut up’ after insulting Tim, twice; and grabs Tim to stop him punching Damian again. We don’t ever see whether Dick talks to Damian about his language or attitude (because it’s not a comic focused on Damian), but honestly this shouldn’t be considered parenting; Dick’s a frustrated older brother here breaking up a fight between two of his siblings. His focus is to the stop the fight and then attempt to continue the conversation he was having with Tim about the support Dick’s looking to get from Tim. The consequence of Damian’s behaviour is being told to shut up, which…eh. Unlikely to be effective in any way.

Red Robin #14: Again focusing on the situation that Dick walked into – he gets the story of what happened from Tim and Damian (we the readers know it wasn’t a full story, but Dick’s working with what they said). Dick then validates Damian’s feelings and sends him out of the room to recover while saying he’ll talk to Tim about this, and proceeds to work with Tim to stop the situation happening again (by talking through what Damian’s feeling with Tim, and then working with Tim to upgrade his password). Notably, while Damian has his hurt emotions recognised, Dick never points out to Damian that Tim should be able to expect for Damian not to snoop through a password protected computer file and it’s Damian’s own fault for looking and getting hurt. There are no shown consequences from Dick to Damian over ‘this is the result of you breaking a boundary (hacking Tim’s files)’. I again note this is in Red Robin, but that conversation does not say that Dick will come and talk to Damian once Damian’s cooled off. Dick’s actually managing to parent Tim better here on page than he does Damian.

The reason I’m not convinced there was any follow through from Dick to Damian in Red Robin #14? Batman & Robin #12 (2011).

Batman & Robin #12 (2011): in this issue we again see Dick stepping in to acknowledge Damian’s feelings, after Damian’s just declared ‘war’ on Dick, Jason and Tim to ‘defeat’ them and show his superiority as Robin (and take a trophy). They’ve just finished a boss fight and Damian offers to drive the other three back in the Batmobile. Tim and Jason extract themselves from this with the minimum level of politeness possible. Dick takes up the offer and at that point says to Damian: “you don’t need to try so hard, Damian. If you hadn’t noticed, kid, you’re already wearing the ‘R’ on your chest” and proceeds to hand Damian one of his escrima sticks as a ‘trophy’. This is again an example of Dick validating Damian’s emotions about a situation (feeling he needs to compete to be the best), but fails to provide Damian any boundary over his actions here. Damian gets to keep the ‘trophies’ he took from attacking his siblings without warning. He doesn’t get explained to him that this behaviour is unacceptable and why Jason and Tim have refused his offer to drive them home and left precipitously.  Dick doesn’t talk out the situation with Damian and work through what he should do next time when he feels hurt or overlooked, and about how he should respect Tim and Jason’s boundaries and spaces.

This is a common failure point seen in parents pursuing gentle parenting options in the modern era. They acknowledge the child’s emotions over the situation (good!) but provide no follow through on why the situation arose in the first place and how to avoid it happening again (and in the case of bad behaviour, some level of consequence/discipline, even if it is ‘and that’s why your friend doesn’t want to play with you’ or a time out or an apology).

Really, Dick’s not setting adequate boundaries for Damian’s behaviour, particularly in terms of family/civilian behaviour not vigilante behaviour. And he’s definitely not holding Damian to consequences (outside of outraged yells of ‘Damian!’ or ‘Robin!’ at bad behaviour in the field) for his actions.

Decision Making Power

The main evidence of Dick asserting the power to make decisions on behalf of Damian during this period is over Damian being Robin. He ‘gives’ the mantle to Damian and sanctions taking him out as Robin. He tells the Teen Titans to take Damian on the team. Dick also chooses that they will live at Wayne Tower not the Manor. He does not really make any other decisions on panel on behalf of Damian during this period, as an individual outside the mantle (and within the mantle Dick can choose these things anyway, as Batman, as the original Robin, and as someone with a lot of authority over what a Titans team is). He states or jokes to Damian that the position of Robin is conditional (“I can still offer Tim Drake his old job back”). He accepts responsibility for being a carer for Damian when Alfred pushes it on him, but is frequently reactive rather than active in terms of making decisions.

And he does not exercise decision making power, he actively defers to two people he sees as having more authority to make decisions on behalf of Damian: Bruce and Talia.

Dick doesn’t question Talia’s right to walk in and arrange medical treatment for Damian after he’s been shot and his back broken. He also accepts Bruce’s decision to leave Damian in Dick’s custody after his return and not initially take over care as a decision Bruce has the right to make on both their behalf.

I’m aware of the panels far later on when Dick tells Damian he considered fighting to adopt Damian, but alongside being writer metacommentary later on rather than textual back in 2010-2011, it’s simply not something that would have been possible; for Dick to adopt Damian would have been a fight given that he had two living parents who legally were still considered fit parents for Damian. A custody dispute resulting in “actually the 10 year old is going to live full time with his older brother, who will have legal guardianship” would be something that required legal sign off from a judge, who in that circumstance would have concluded that both Talia and Bruce were unfit to have custody of their child. Now whether or not Talia is a fit parent for Damian is obviously up in the air (if you know about the LOA), but at this point publicly, Bruce has cared for Damian adequately: he took Damian in in being informed of his existence, he provides and pays for all of Damian’s needs, he pays for home supervision of Damian when he’s away (Alfred), Damian’s living in one of Bruce’s houses (the Penthouse)… the family law system is probably only going to have an issue with Damian’s education situation, and that can be clarified by either on page confirmation he’s either enrolled at a school or is being homeschooled, but there is no evidence of any abuse or neglect that would have a judge decide to remove parental responsibility from Bruce, or make it supervised only.

Conclusion:

Dick caring for Damian does not make him Damian’s parent. There’s the possibility inherent in that if Bruce had never returned and Dick had eventually made the moves to have Bruce declared dead, he would have taken over legal guardianship of Damian and learned to act more as his parent, but in the circumstances we see on the page during Reborn and up to Damian’s death, particularly with Dick’s immediate deferral to Damian’s biological parents, he’s better described as a carer for Damian, or part of the village it takes to raise a child. He has a lot more responsibility than your average older sibling does, or even a mentor, but he’s not acting in a way that suggests Dick believes he has the right to make all the decisions about Damian’s care and on behalf of Damian.

[ambiguouslady42]

Music Festival featuring Reo Mikage

Pairing: Reo Mikage x Reader WC: 0.7K CW: all the fluff Description: Reo takes you to a music festival, VIP status!

Tags: @pixelcafe-network, @kafka-shores

Note: Dearest Ness, I hope this is how you would want to spend the day with your bb. Let me know what you think <3

"Where are we going?" you ask as your tall significant other has blindfolded you. The ground you walk on feels soft; you deduce that you must be walking on a patch of grass. You're curious as to why you're walking at such a slow pace. Reo is not one to take his sweet time doing things, so today feels so suspicious.

"It's a surprise, I can't tell you what we're doing until you see where we are," Reo says cheerfully. The moment that this opportunity came up, he couldn't miss the chance. Truthfully, he would've done it without you, but since you've entered his life, he's wanted to share more aspects of himself with you. He's unapologetic about his pleasures, thrilled to see another side of you that he's yet to know. There is music playing loudly; you can hear chatter getting louder, and suddenly you feel like everything is closing in.

"No…it can't be. He wouldn't!" You thought to yourself. Your heart is racing, immediately questioning if your beloved really brought you here.

You feel something go on your left wrist. You take your fingers to see what it is, and it's a wristband. You approach a point where you come to a complete stop. You have no bag on you, but just your phone. Reo told you that all he needed was your presence next to him today. You move closer, the sound of beeps and people shouting to take out any electronics and that they should expect their bags to be inspected. "Yep, he did bring me here, he shouldn't have." A small smile forms on your lips. He admires from where he's standing, knowing that you're wonderfully clever."

Upon going through this arduous process, he removes the blindfold. There's a stage in front of you with a sea of people walking around. He grabs your hand and pulls you in a certain direction. "Come on," he grins, "I've got to show you the VIP area." Of course, he would get access to the ticketed area. Reo acknowledges his wealth, but he tries never to rub it in your face. For you, there is no expenditure too large to show you how much he adores you. With a flash of the wristband, you were given access to a VIP area. The tents were there with fans blowing for your convenience. A giant table with line cooks ready to make whatever you were being offered on the menu, with areas for those with specific allergens or dietary needs. Today was all about you. The music stage could be seen, with an area to stand nearby if you desired to get closer.

"This is all too much…" you shyly state.

"For my beloved, nothing is ever too much…" He kisses your temple.

You spend the afternoon talking in the tent, eating various snacks, with him reminding you to stay hydrated as it's a hot day out. Reo was amicable with everyone working the tents and making sure that they were taking necessary breaks whenever possible. Whenever he had a chance, he'd hold you from behind while peering over the stage, sneakily kissing your temple.

Finally, when evening comes, the big act comes on stage: NCT 127. You never thought he would bring you to see them, but at the same time, Reo will happily dance and move to music, and doesn't care what others will think about him. When they come on stage, you rush to the area to get a better look. It's loud, but he places the earplugs in your ears to protect your hearing. The dancing and jumping indicate how happy you are right now. In his moments of selfishness, he wraps his arms around you again to feel you close to him. Your breath hitches every time he does that, but you always feel safe in his hold. The open field got colder as the evening progressed, and he became your insulated blanket to keep you warm. At the end of their final song, you never wanted this night to end. If you could, you'd make it last forever. Without notice, he taps on your shoulder and directs you to look at the camera. He holds out his phone, preparing to take a selfie. "Say cheese!" You give him the biggest grin that you can, and he sneaks a kiss onto your cheek.

This wouldn't be the last time that he would go over the top for you.

[disguisedcheezed]

what made you like dirkjohn so much? like how did the ship pop into your head?

"how did the ship pop into your head?"

Okay. So, I just did some digging through my old abandoned accounts, and it turns out dirkjohn was my main reason why I read Homestuck in the first place. XD

They got me with their dumb looking faces and I thought I should just ship them because they're my favorites. And the fact that they were a blue orange color combo, which is the color combination I am very obsessed over, is just a mere coincidence that just made me like them more.

I don't even remember other shit from 2020-2022 because I was busy fighting for my life. 😭 I did knew that they had one interaction, so I just read the comic without expecting much of them as a ship but I loved them as their individual characters.

"what made you like dirkjohn so much?"

I don't just like dirkjohn. I LOVE dirkjohn. It's not even an exaggeration. I couldn't talk about dirkjohn(or just themindividually) without making poetry.

Anyway. The depressed weed boyfriends dirkjohn 2016-2019 shippers were right this. It was made sometime after the release of the snapchats where John is alone in his room for quite a while. And then there's other people who say like "of course they're being paired because they're the left overs of the kids ships", but what if it's like they were meant to be that way? What if they finally get to talk to each other and call out on each other's destructive behaviors? What is more romantic than being understood? Everyone else has figured out what to do with their lives.

Dirk helps John be grounded back into reality and tell him that there are friends that care for him. John tells Dirk to get out of his head, stop over thinking about the future and take care of himself. They inevitably take care of themselves by taking care of the other. They should take care of themselves for the other. And over time they get to share interest in watching animes, shitty movies and pranks.

The above is only showing "the good part" of dirkjohn.

"The worst part" ? Dirk and John were created in love of Everything, but they were doomed to be Nothing.

Similarities : They heavily mirror each other through almost all aspects of their lives.

Ex. (only a few. this isn't even the half of it.)

John: Rise up / Prince: Rise up

Liv Tyler / Lil Seb (puttin the bunny in the box)

Dirk sending gifts to his friends through a sendificator(red box) that helps/interacts with his friends physically(robots). John sends gifts to his friends through mail(blue box) that would give them their unique identity forever.

These conversations have the same vibe where they wanted to know what the other is really like apart from them knowing their adult counter parts:

In what aspect are they The Same? :

They hate themselves. Dirk dwells in it. John pushes it in the back of his head and doesn't want to think about any of it.

Dirkjohn Conclusion/Bare essentials: They effortlessly make the appeal themselves.

This is also why looking at HS^2 through a dirkjohn perspective just makes it a huge dirkjohn fanfiction. X

They ascend the need for a label in their relationship/any form of romance because of how intertwined they are to each other that they are a concept as a whole. (looks at the camera)

Dirk and John are the very threads of what makes Homestuck, Homestuck... Which means nothing.

End of ask mood moard;

My body is a vessel that collected every piece of Dirk and John's showed it back into the audience piece by piece and I will never stop doing it.

[ritzcuit]

i just realized i never shared my actual thoughts on kagurabachi yet so here they are (for context, i've only finished vol.1):

first off. chihiro my precious son and boy chihiro. i love his dead expression (and apparently he has always just looked Like That) and i love his often reckless and self-destructive tendencies. he is going to tear himself apart at some point. probably multiple times tbh. and i didn't expect that he would be good with handling kids but considering how much it seems he had to take on additional responsibilities when living with kunishige it makes a lot of sense. it was really sweet when he was taking char out to get food. he always seems to be giving away so much of himself it makes me feel like i should take him to a mcdonald's or something. figure it's the least i can do after fucking his dad

speaking of kunishige. every time i see a dumb tshirt i think of him now. and obviously he's hot but also so far it seems like he would have made a better fun uncle than dad to chihiro. like as mentioned before chihiro was left to handle stuff like cooking and cleaning around the house that felt like negligence on kunishige's part. and then there's also the whole thing about him crafting cataclysmic weapons that are the catalyst for the events of the series but he was hot while doing it. so.

and then shiba. i love his old man car and his old man shoes. at first i thought he was just kind of chihiro's cheerleader and i didn't realize he could actually use magic. so far i get the impression that if shiba weren't here then chihiro would have died via some aspect of his own self-destructive/reckless tendencies. and i love how in denial he is about the harm brought by kunishige's swords. "your father was a hero and his swords saved lives" babygirl are you just ignoring Literally Everything That's Going On Right Now.

YYAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY SPINS IN CIRCLES!!!!!! IM HAPPY YOURE ENJOYING ITTTT KAGURABACHI IS SO SPECIALLLL

I love love love love the way that chihiro is literally so deadpan no matter what. esp bc when it was first announced and everyone was memeing on how edgy it was, we all thought chihiro was just some edgy grimdark loser, but its like...no he was like this even when he was a baby 😭 its so cute... and sooooo special that even though you think he's all mature and cool because of his expression, he's still pretty reckless after all... hes truly an 18 yr old beneath it all

it makes me feel like i should take him to a mcdonald's or something. figure it's the least i can do after fucking his dad

shiba said this

AND YARGHH KUNISHIGEEEE. i totally get what you mean!! tbh i feel like chihiro just has the personality of someone who would like cleaning up and taking care of others... LIKE WITH CHAR. SOBS. SOBS. HE'S SO. OH HE'S JUST A SWEETHEART. but there's no way to know how he'd be if kunishige was like. A normal dad. 😭GRR. BUT KUNI. THERE'S SO MUCH. he's seriously... Grabs you...i shant speak in detail bc i dont remember where vol 1 leaves off........

WAIT... NO... I REMEMBER.. THIS ONE HEADCANON SOMEONE HAD. LOL. idont think its spoilers. but they said "what if kunishige purposefully let chihiro have more responsibility because he worried that one day he'd die and chihiro would have to live by himself" or something. ...well even then, there's better ways to teach your kids how to be responsible LMAO

i cant even get into shiba rnbecause if i do this message will be 50x longer.... if shiba werent here.. who would catch hold him gentle after fights when he collapses huh?! thats his emotional support uncle!! HIS DENIAL IS DRIVING ME UP A WALL. SHIBA. SHIBA I KNOW YOU GOT KUNISHIGE PREGNANT BUT I NEED YOU TO BE GROUNDED IN REALITY RN. SHIBAAAAA

YWAAAAA THANK U FOR SHARING UR THOUGHTS <3

[nshtn]

how well do you think wesker would get along with a s/o or friend with ASPD?

writing RE5 wesker and making him way more sociopathic than I normally pen him for the bit.

with ASPD? well, he has ASPD. severely. he's a psycho-sociopath - i fear this is one of the more effective passive ways to strip him bare when it comes to existing relationships, but it also makes him almost unrecognizable as the Wesker that is often presented to the audience. i also think he would overly-strip his own persona to chameleon their own until he's acting a degree of detached he doesn't even find himself.

kinda DDDNE below i'm ngl!

i think he would literally just be like "hey, what are positive reinforcements for you?" and then literally reward/punish them like they're an algorithm and not really a person. cut out the middleman of silly things like "overly-abundant lingual placations" and "social engineering in an attempt to garner a one-sided lovebombing relationship relative to interests". he's not fretting about reciprocation or communication too deeply. he'd probably drop a lot of his persona around them because there's no point, depending on the type and severity and the level of friendship that is shared.

probably likes to talk about deeper aspects of humanity he finds confusing with them. (issue: he's a know-it-all hotheaded egomaniac who is snobby & pompous) yes, he knows why people are programmed with disgust, but isn't it annoying? why must he fret in the trenches of 'reciprocal social warmth' so that his plan - benevolent in its' leanings (absolutely not) - may progress? why can his intention, the bigger picture, never serve as enough for most of this useless, ungrateful population?

he has to stem his brutal honesty when others speak. people twine their words around common idioms and metaphors, dancing around truths that mean nothing to him just to spare their own hide. it's difficult for him not to spring into a lecture when his scientists do something wrong that he could never. he has no empathy to spare for failure to incubate limited, unstable samples. must he do everything - must he teach everyone everything every time, or will they find insult in that, too? and doesn't his little friend find it difficult to participate in this annoying "dance"? it's draining.

i think he'd express less of his anger towards them specifically because, if their ASPD is severe, they're likely not even doing things to intentionally seek it (unless they're acting directly, inescapably incompetent - but he won't pull out the big book of ad homs; why do it if it is to no effect? he almost wishes they'd respond to his prodding so he'd have something to use, so used to the mask that going without feels itself a breed of foreign.) he automatically views them without the same level of malice as long as they don't harbor thrill-seeking in destruction or passive, extreme homicidality like Marcus.

he'd likely spring into deeply philosophical or scientific topics with them with very little to buffer between it, nixing the small talk that people are used to because it isn't optimal - ever the optimizer, to the point of mania - the kind of man who rounds a corner, spots them, and immediately breaks out into whatever problem he's run into with his own research with no buffer. hello, rubber ducky! of course, he expects the same from them, but he'll mind a lot less if they drudge through small talk, safety in the knowledge they find it as useless as he does when they're both public-facing. (the truth is that wesker does not mind the small talk when it's all about him, but...)

do they not feel an irk when they must relax their tension manually? do they find it difficult to pull the proper degree of smile that a situation demands - never too much, never too little? he will flat-out ask if he can imitate if they're really that good or find it easy - while he can certainly do it, he doesn't invest as much of himself as he reasonably should as a bioweapons manufacturer and continually sits on the splitting, guillotine's edge of the necessary imitation. he'll also learn the tics that represent the sign that their irritation is peeking through when they're with others and act as their wingman, swooping in to pull them away with the expectation they'd do the same for him.

probably keeps them around for Excella's invasions of personal space like they're a beacon of safety.

they talk about how natural he was afterwards - where he can improve, what was perfect, where irritation bubbled into the periphery. they will likely have picked up on the fact that he bathes in positive reinforcement and preens to it. honestly, they could probably defang him and have him under them if they play their cards right.

he'd definitely probe on how deeply it effects them - neurology intrigues him and is a cog in the grand machine of his research, and to learn about the finer parts is useful, especially if he might want to induce it in people who carry uroboros (what grand, irredeemably unreachable goals - to invade the brain will only result in severe irreversible cannibal disease). he would definitely seek the physical representations that underpin it, and would feel great interest in the difference between someone who was born with ASPD vs someone who developed it.

blue umbrella already knew how to make weapons out of the thick dough of the humanity they're initially presented with. he needs to know how to do it at the genetic level.

willing to experiment with eachothers lack of:

"did you hear about [x]? do you want to see the raw footage?"

"at what age did you realize you felt a separation?"

"have you had an f-MRI before?" ... "what about an EEG?"

definitely puts his hands on their shoulders, waist, or grabs their wrist occasionally in interactions, examining their face for the telltale signs of flush. display it, do it. give him something to work with, please.

treats them clinically, in an almost insulting way, simply the way he treats others stripped bare. over time, as the fascination pours and froths over, it becomes playful and natural.

as he gets to befriend them more closely he'd be willing to be indebted to them to provide them with what pushes their own personal goals forward. unfortunately, i think he'd always have a degree of his own personal separation because they're an uncontrollable variable who knows enough of his depth that they could fuck him over. he will always strive to put out the ward that that goes against their finer sensibilities.

i think he'd fear that being too truthful with them, especially about his own goals, would make for another birkin. at the same time, there's a draw to someone so similar or even worse than he is, especially if he can use them as a nearly-consensual canvas without much prodding.

if he can talk with them about topics that usually evoke disgust in others, this will be the ultimate springboard into the breaking dam of friendship into a warped intimacy.

kinda nsfw:

he'd definitely enjoy getting reactions out of them to an unhealthy level that becomes near-exponential as his interest breaks the dam - if they're a sadomasochist, they're in for a fucking ride.

what closeness and ultimate equality in standings would look like to him would be different than it would be for someone who lacks ASPD - would they like to test uroboros? he could do some gene edits to produce an artificial compatibility... this is, to him, one of the most intimate questions he could ask someone in this unique setting; it is like marriage, flipped on its' head from something done without a second thought to a ritualistic, hierophiliac art form. would you join him on his pedestal and ascend? do you want to become true equals?

[imagrindylow]

Argumentative

Percy Weasley / f!muggleborn!Reader 8.1k Words Content Warnings: 18+ Explicit Content; oral sex, fingering, sex, angst, alcohol use. Summary: Just married, you and Percy set off on your honeymoon, but everything seems to be going wrong.

AN: I wrote this specifically for @ellivenollivander but if anyone else is aching for a Percy Weasley reader insert fic, then by all means, enjoy. Love you Elli! Thank you for always being down to simp over this nerd with me ❤️

~~~~~

Percy Weasley was very familiar with the concept of muggle honeymoons, it was something you had gabbed about with great anticipation ever since he had proposed to you two years ago. He knew very well your expectations to fly – not on brooms, mind you – but on a plane, to somewhere warm.

Though he didn’t quite understand the allure of traveling by way of crowded plane to a faraway destination when floo powder or portkey were so much easier and more convenient, not to mention much faster. But he could put aside his reservations if it would make you happy, and he knew that this would.

As a muggle born, you had no knowledge of the wizarding world until you received that special letter via owl, the letter that would change your perception of the world as you knew it. Boarding at Hogwarts for the better part of seven years had you fully immersed in the magical world by the time you had graduated, but integrating was slow at first, and there were many aspects of the muggle world you grew up with that felt just as magical as the wizarding one.

Going home to your family after graduating and spending time with your muggle relatives, you found yourself missing some muggle traditions and technologies, so even though you were now marrying into a pureblooded wizarding family, you were keen on sharing some of those things with your husband to be, and so, although he didn’t understand it, he’d gladly go along with it for you.

The wedding was beautiful and had gone off flawlessly, with use of very minimal magic since a good number of the guests consisted of your muggle family members. Aside from your parents and siblings, no one was any the wiser that the family you were marrying into were magical, even with your new father in law’s insatiable curiosity for common place muggle things that was apparent as he spoke with nearly everyone in your family at the reception.

Percy was nervous the morning leading into your honeymoon. He was a planner, through and through, someone who liked being in control of things and being the one to keep things orderly. He was filled with anxiety as the two of you waited for a taxi to head to the airport. You’d done every bit of the travel planning and no amount of guaranteeing your husband that you knew what you were doing seemed to calm him.

“I don’t understand why we need this little book to travel as muggles. The wizarding way is so much more streamlined.” He said as he thumbed through the pages of his very first passport.

“Of course the wizarding way is more streamlined, when you’re the head of the transportation department,” You said, a sharp exhale of a laugh leaving your mouth. “But this is… more about the experience.” You told him. “Just try to relax and enjoy the ride.”

You knew that this would be easier said than done for Percy. Bracing yourself with your hand at the small of his back, you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek in reassurance. He let out a deep breath through his nose as his lips curved into a little grin, his stern face softening a bit, just for you.

As the taxi parked on the street in front of you, Percy loaded the car boot with what was, in his opinion, far too much luggage. One enchanted trunk would have made much more sense to him, but you informed him how suspicious that might look should your luggage be chosen for inspection. These muggle policies sounded too strict for him, but he held his tongue and reminded himself that you were the expert in this department.

The taxi ride to the airport started perfectly ordinarily, the radio broadcasting a football game, the cabbie very passionately reacting to the plays as they were announced. Though, when the driver asked Percy about his opinions on the match, you had to elbow him in the arm to keep him from mentioning Quidditch as the only sport he had any interest in. Your husband was flush with embarrassment, and couldn’t get out of the taxi quickly enough when it arrived in the drop off lane outside of the airport.  

The taxi ride was the easy part. Percy had thought he was familiar with large crowds, working at the ministry of magic, but nothing prepared him for the scene inside of the airport. Droves of people everywhere, rushing between terminals, queuing up for security screenings and swarming the food court. Despite the masses, it seemed like everyone knew exactly where they were supposed to be. Except him. He gave you a look that said ‘are you bloody serious’ as you took his hand and led him to the check in counter. 

The whole process of checking in, checking bags, and going through seemingly endless security queues took hours. Hours you’d accounted for, or at least, you thought you had… But at every step of the way, there seemed to be a holdup that you hadn’t been expecting. By the time you’d both made it through the final security checks, your flight had already completed boarding, and through the window at your terminal, your plane could be seen taxiing to the runway, preparing to take off. 

The sudden contrast between the two of  you currently standing still - you staring out the window in silence - versus the rushing and darting through the crowds only minutes prior, tipped Percy off to the fact that something was now off. 

“Is everything alright? Was this just one of those ‘hurry up and wait’ situations?” He wondered, shifting his weight as he scanned your face, puzzled.

“I wish it was.” You say, nervous to actually explain the current predicament. You knew your husband very well and you knew that missing an important flight would certainly put him into a terrible mood. “Don’t be angry…”

“Oh dear.” Percy said, letting out an exasperated sigh, his entire head lolling to one side in annoyance as he looked at you. “Just tell me.” 

“We missed the flight.” You said and your lips pulled into a tight line, holding your breath, as you nervously watched the look of disbelief wash over your husband’s face.

“You cannot be serious.” He said, shaking his head, physically biting his bottom lip to keep himself from spouting out ‘I told you so’ about why traveling magically would have been the better way to go. 

“I’m sorry, that family in front of us at security, they held everything up, but I’m sure we can get another flight soon. I’ll take care of it, okay? I promise it’ll work out.” 

Percy nodded, but remained silent, stewing in his head, remembering that if he had nothing nice to say, he best say nothing at all. He gestured towards the nearest gate desk for you to lead the way to a solution.

Your husband stood behind you, his arms folded in front of his chest as you spoke to the woman behind the desk, and rebooked your tickets to the next flight. It would be a few hours, but your thoughts were all of relife - things could have been much worse - and now the two of you had time to grab a bite to eat and relax from the hectic morning rush.  So, that’s what you did. 

Following lunch, Percy delved into a book he had in his carryon bag. It was easier for him to not vent his frustrations at you when he had another outlet for his attention, and realistically he knew that making a fuss wouldn’t help anything. There was nothing to be done but wait for the next flight. You sat at his side flipping through a magazine as the time slipped by.

Second time round, the two of you were more than ready, boarding promptly when your group was called, finding your seats on the plane and getting comfortable and ready for the flight. With the travel plans back on track, Percy was in a much better mood now.

The flight was smooth, and beautiful. Percy took the window seat, and you delighted in watching his expressions as he looked out over the clouds, much higher up than he’d thought was conceivably possible. When he turned back to meet your eyes wanting to share this with you, you knew he understood now - why you’d been so insistent. The sights were better than that any broom ride he’d been on had afforded him before.

The flight was several hours, and though it was only late afternoon, both of you slept a fair amount, neither of you having gotten a great nights rest the night before… Anticipation for you, anxiety for Percy. But now things were falling into place, and after a long and well deserved nap, the two of you woke up to the sensation of the plane landing and pilot’s voice over the intercom giving the local time.

Having missed your initial flight, your checked bags were not on the conveyor amongst the rest when you deboarded, and instead the two of you made your way to the baggage claim counter when you anticipated your luggage being held in an office somewhere, awaiting your arrival. And such was the case, for your luggage, at least. The stuffy and uninterested woman behind the counter could offer no explanation as to why Percy’s luggage number was not pulling up a result in her system. She said that they’d contact the number on file if it turned up. If. The word had your husband chewing his cheek while the woman disappeared back into the office to grab your bag for you.

“Brilliant.” He said, his voice thick with sarcasm as he stood beside you as you waited to the side of the counter for the woman to return. “Just bloody brilliant.”

“It’s just clothes and toiletries. We’ll stop quickly and grab you a few outfits and some things and it’ll be fine. You have your carry on with your documents, yeah? It’ll be alright.” You assure him. 

“Toiletries… clothing… my wand.” He said, becoming progressively more agitated as he spoke.

“Oh…” You mutter, looking at the floor, a pit in your stomach as you remembered that his wand had been carefully packed away in his checked bag. 

“Oh indeed. Pick up a new one at the resort, shall we?” He asked sarcastically and let out a deep sigh, his arms crossed in front of his chest. He was struggling to keep his voice at an acceptable level to be speaking to his wife with.

“It’s just a week… I’m sorry.” 

“An entire week that I'll feel like I'm without a part of my body.” He says, shaking his head.

The office door squeaked open and the clerk reappeared, with your luggage in tow, and you took the handle from her, pulling your bag alongside you. The woman informed you both that she double checked for Percy’s missing bag, and as her computer system indicated, it was not in the holding area. She offered up an apology for any inconvenience before returning to her post behind the desk and moving on to the next customer in her ever growing line.

“That’s it then? We just have to hope they’ll call you? Absurd.” Percy said, following you away from the counter and towards the lobby, his exasperation clear with every breath he took.

“I’m sure they’ll find it. Just… calm down. It won’t help things, you being angry.” You tell him, squeezing his hand in yours as the two of you make your way through the crowded airport, him pulling your luggage in his other hand.

“No, I suppose it won’t.” He said, letting out a long breath in an attempt to calm himself. “Let’s just go and replace my things, and get to relaxing at the resort.” 

You nodded in agreement and led him through the airport and outside, where the two of you caught one of the circling taxis waiting to collect arriving travelers. 

You were itching to get to the resort the two of you had chosen for your honeymoon destination, but the first stop was to a nearby shopping center to replace some of Percy’s things that had been lost by the airline. The two of you divided and conquered, with him heading to one shop for toiletries and you to another, grabbing him a few outfits and swim trunks. Being in a tourist town, there was no shortage of cabs around, shuttling vacationers between the resorts, shops, and restaurants. Despite being able to catch a ride easily, and the ride being short, Percy had never wanted to apparate somewhere more in his life. The cab rides, being ‘part of the experience’ as you’d put it, were just tedious to him. While finally on the way to the resort you assured him that this would likely be the last cab ride for the week, as everywhere else you’d go on the trip would be walking distance around the resort. This knowledge made him smile. He could do without the small talk to cab drivers.

The cab dropped the two of you off at the front entrance of the resort, you walked as you dug through your bag for your wallet to check in with, and Percy followed alongside you with your luggage and shopping bags in tow. 

The plus side of having missed your initial flight, you were desperately looking for plus sides at this point, was what would have been yet another long line at the front desk during prime check in time now looked like it should be a quick and easy process. The lobby, while still rather crowded, mostly consisted of vacationers heading to and from the many on site restaurants or simply cutting through as they made their way to other amenities. The check in line was short, and before you knew it, the two of you were in front of a receptionist.

“Good evening, checking in?” The woman behind the desk asked, looking at you from over the rim of her glasses.

“Yes, the last name on the reservation is Weasley.” You told the woman and she began typing on the computer in front of her. 

She looked at the screen, puzzled for a moment, before asking, “Can you spell that name for me please?”

You do, and watch as the receptionist double checks the information on her screen against the spelling you’d provided her, growing concerned when she didn’t speak up for what seemed like too long. You glanced to your husband and you could see on his face that he was as concerned as you were.

“Is there something wrong with the reservation?” Percy asked.

“The system shows you’ve already checked in. Did one of you perhaps complete the online check in form?” The receptionist asked the both of you.

“No, neither of us.” You answered without needing to check with Percy, who would have learning to navigate the muggle internet at the absolute bottom of his to-do list.

“It shows that check in was completed at 11:42 AM today.” The woman said.

“We were still traveling at that time, it wasn’t us. We’ve had a crazy day, missed our first flight, and had to replace luggage. We weren’t here at that time, there has to be an error in your system.” You tell her, doing your best to keep your tone even and calm, doing all  of the talking because you knew Percy would struggle with resolving this kindly after the day he’d had… though you wouldn't have been able to blame him at this point. 

“I’ll have a member of our staff go check into the problem for you right now.” The receptionist assured you both. “Please, feel free to drop your luggage with our bell service team and take a look around the resort, we’ll call you shortly when we figure this out.” She said, and confirmed your contact number on file.

Without much other choice, you give her a nod and you and Percy head over to the bell service counter, where another member of the resort's staff greets you, accepts your luggage, and tags it with your name and phone number. The man took your luggage and shopping bags into a secure room just off the lobby to hold until your room situation was smoothed over. 

As you and your husband walked away from the counter together, you turned to him, taking his hand and running your thumb over his knuckles softly. “Shall we get a drink while we wait?” 

“Absolutely. It’s a necessity at this point.” He replied, his signature little smirk on his face, glad you’d proposed the idea. But behind his grin you could see that he was drained, not only from travel but from the emotional tax of every little mishap that had been piling up all day. 

Taking a look around at the directional signs around the lobby, the two of you headed to one of the resort's several bars to rest some and unwind while waiting for a callback from the receptionist. 

The bar you’d found yourselves in was a large and brightly yet tastefully decorated space with an airy atmosphere, the exterior walls open to the beach and offering a  beautiful view of the nighttime sky and of the ocean. It was crowded, but open enough to not feel cramped or uncomfortable, which was a welcomed feeling after spending much of the day either in the back seats of cabs or strapped into the plane’s seats. 

Percy ordered a whiskey while you opted for a fruity, frozen drink that made your husband shake his head in amusement at the sheer size of the thing as it was placed in front of you.

“I’ve got to admit, as long as it took to finally get here, I can appreciate the offerings. It’s lovely, isn't it?” Percy said, then took a long look out through the open air walls at the moonlight reflecting off of the gently rolling waves.

“It is.” You agreed. You’d wanted to say more, to whisper into his ear how you’d hoped to lay alone in the sand with him that night, under the stars, but your thought was interrupted when your cell phone buzzed. Knowing it would be the receptionist in the lobby, you answered, and stepped away from the bar to a quieter area to hear the woman better.

You listened to the woman on the other end, your stomach sinking as she explained the situation. Another couple, with an incredibly similar last name, was unfortunately assigned the suite attached to your reservation, thanks to an error by a new employee who failed to thoroughly check the identification of the other party when they’d shown up earlier that day. 

Any other day, any other trip, you’d have been much more inclined to forgive such an error. But this was your honeymoon, and you’d booked a very well appointed suite for the occasion, which, to add further insult to injury, the resort would be unable to match with another suite. 

The only other suite on offer was the one the other couple had booked for themselves, surely a nice room by anyone’s standards, but not the honeymoon suite you’d been looking forward to. The receptionist apologized profusely for their error. She let you know she’d already issued a partial refund for the discrepancy of the suite prices, and offered recompense in the form of free meal and drink credits, which you accepted, before ending the phone call so you could further ruin Percy’s day with the news. 

When you returned to your seat at the bar beside your husband, his glass of whiskey was almost empty, for which you were thankful, as it would hopefully lessen the sting of the news. 

“Was that the receptionist?” He asked you as you slid into your seat and took a long sip of your cocktail.

“It was.” You say and sigh in exasperation. “A newer employee accidentally checked the wrong couple into our suite. Apparently they had a very similar last name.”

 “Are you serious? Bloody hell, the incompetence! How difficult is it to check someone’s identification?” He asked, his voice raised slightly, not at you but at the situation. He shook his head and downed the rest of his whiskey, sliding the empty glass towards the edge of the bartop and nodding to the bartender, indicating his need for another.

“I know,” You say and watch him sip his fresh drink. “They credited us for some food and drinks, and refunded the cost difference between the suites. And I’ve been assured that the other suite is still very nice.”

“Of course they said that, they aren't going to tell you one of their rooms is anything but nice.” He said with an eye roll, not completely satisfied with how the resort staff had handled it all.. “They couldn’t have upgraded us?”

“She said there was no other availability. But, that suite is ready, our bags are getting dropped off there now. We can go get the key cards and make our way there.” 

“Soon.” He said and sipped his whiskey, fully intending to take his time to enjoy the drink, hoping that by the time he hit the bottom of another glass, the buzz would dampen the blow of the downgrade.

“The suite will be nice. The resort is nice. And we’ve got each other, which is what matters most.” You say, meaning every word, and sipping your quickly melting cocktail. You give him a soft and reassuring smile. “I just don’t want to see you angry.” You tell him softly.

“It’s been a day, yeah? It’s been one thing after another, after another. I think I’ve got a bit of a right to be less than chipper.”

You exhaled the faintest breath of a chuckle, shrugging your shoulders and sipping your cocktail to keep from escalating his frustration with your own sass. Aside from the airline losing only his luggage, you’d been every bit as affected by today's parade of misfortune. But it was still your honeymoon, and you didn’t want to encourage his pissy mood, whether it was warranted or not.

Instead, you finished your drink, as he finished his. You could tell he was stewing in the silence, in anxious anticipation to see your new suite for the week. You led the way back to the lobby, where the same woman from before was waiting behind the counter to greet you both. She apologized again, as she gathered your room keys and tucked them into a brochure about the resort. She gave you directions to your room, and the two of you made your way there. 

Your luggage and shopping bags were in the entryway of your suite when you opened the door. You were excited as you looked around. Though it wasn’t the exact suite you’d planned on, as promised, this one was beautiful and would surely make for a perfect home base for your honeymoon. The bed was large, with soft linens and many plush pillows. Atop the table was a basket containing a bottle of wine, chocolates, other little snacks and various goodies, along with a card from the check in staff which once again offered apologies. It was a nice gesture.

The room had many of the same amenities as the one you’d initially booked, the most notable difference being the lack of the private infinity pool on your private terrace, which was admittedly pretty disappointing. But in your usual fashion, always one to balance out your husband’s moods, you focused on the positives. 

Finally able to relax and enjoy, you skipped right over to the bed and tossed yourself onto it, landing on your back, letting out a content hum as you sank against the soft bedding. “This is nice, practically perfect.” You said and gestured with your finger for your husband to come to you, and he does. His eyes shifted around the room while taking it all in. He nodded in agreement with you, that the suite was more than acceptable, even if it wasn't your first choice of the resort's options. He climbed up on the bed beside you and let himself collapse with a deep groan at the instant comfort, truly worn out from the long day of travel. He laid an arm across your abdomen, pulling you to him at your waist for a cuddle while you flipped through the brochure the woman at the reception desk had given you. 

“The pools and hot tubs are open til midnight.” You inform him, shooting him a grin with a glance that - had his eyes been open - he’d have seen was absolutely devilish. 

He hummed in acknowledgement, his eyes still closed and his glasses askew with the frame pressing against the mattress where his head rested.

“Let’s go sit in the hot tub and order one more drink, it’ll be relaxing.” You suggest.

“I’m already quite relaxed, right here.” He muttered, one of his eyes peeking open at you while his hand at your waist pulled you a bit closer.

“Percy.” You whine his name, a pout on your lips that he could picture perfectly without even having his eyes open.

“Darling.” He mirrored your tone, a smirk curling his lips, teasing you. But when he finally opened his eyes and looked into yours, your puppy dog expression tugged at his heartstrings and broke his resolve and he relented. “Fine.”

You were giddy as you rolled towards him, kissing his nose with a triumphant smirk. Tired as you were as well, you were more excited to explore the resort and enjoy the atmosphere it had to offer. To listen to the waves and smell the warm and breezy salty air.

You sprang up from the bed as though you hadn’t spent the entire day becoming gradually more jetlagged, and extended your husband your hands, wanting to pull him from the bed as well, which he allowed. 

You dug your swimsuit from your luggage while Percy looked through the shopping bags for the hastily purchased replacement from the shops from earlier that evening. This process seemed to serve as a reminder to him that he was without his initial luggage, still not having heard from the airline. If he’d looked grumpy about getting out of bed after finally lying down, he was only more so now.

You started changing before Percy had even gotten to the large glass doors to your terrace to draw the curtains. 

“No one was going to see.” You chuckle.

“They won’t now.” He scolded, though his eyes told you he knew you were likely right.

Once the both of you were changed, you gave the map inside of the resort brochure another onceover, and the two of you headed out the front door to your suite, and began making your way to the closest of the resort's several pool areas.

For being so late in the evening, the pool area was still quite occupied with other couples. Thankfully though, both the pool and hot tub were sprawling and spacious, and it wasn’t difficult to find a place to sit together in said hot tub after making a stop at the poolside bar to grab one last drink for the evening.

Between your whispered voice and the ambient music playing through hidden speakers mixed with the landscaping around the pool deck, the other couple seated nearest to you were out of earshot and were quite preoccupied in their own intricacies. 

You sat closely beside Percy, your thigh pressed to his, and his arm around your shoulder, each of you with a drink in hand. Finally. It felt like after all of the bumps along the way in your travel, you were now getting to truly relax and enjoy your husband after a tense day. You were feeling your cocktail and it was obvious by the way Percy’s lips brushed your neck below your ear as he spoke that his inhibitions were unusually low as well. He punctuated his soft whispers into your ear with kisses to your skin, the feeling giving you chills even in the steaming water. 

You turned your head towards him so that his lips grazed yours, and he set his drink down, bringing his now free hand to the side of your face, pulling your head closer as he deepened your kiss. You felt a rush of desire flow through your veins at his public show of affection, as this kind of behavior was so rare for him. You ran with it though, relishing how carefree and in the moment he was being, and you kissed him back with fervor. 

Long forgotten was the fact that the two of you weren’t alone. Whether or not anyone was watching didn't matter. Your only thoughts were keeping up with the pace he was setting, the way his mouth captured your quickening breath, and the warm taste of whiskey on his tongue as yours tasted his. Your pulse raced against his palm as he held your face at your neck, keeping you close. You felt his teeth at your bottom lip, sending you out of your mind with desire at the intensity of his kiss. You let your hand fall from his shoulder, sinking through the bubbling hot water and settling on his lap, where your fingers found him at attention, grazing against his erection beneath the water and out of view. He gasped with the contact, his inhale of breath parting your kiss for a moment. With intention this time, you palmed over his length, groping him over his swim trunks with a devious grin on your face, leaning in, wanting your lips to connect again. 

The last thing you were expecting after such a passionate moment between the two of you, was for him to lean back, away from your advance. In a split second, Percy seemed to come to his typical senses, realizing rather suddenly that the setting was inappropriate for what was happening between the two of you. 

“Are you out of your bloody mind?” He hissed, looking at you as though you had three heads, while moving your hand off of him under the water. 

You quickly glanced around, making sure no one had been paying attention, before looking back at your husband, confused and rather hurt by his sudden change in tone. “No? What’s wrong? It’s fine, no one’s paying us any mind.” You say.

“It doesn’t matter!” He snipped, his voice hushed and cold. “You can’t do that to me here, there’s people around, are you insane?”

You didn’t have the words for a response, your mouth hanging open, still surprised that he was even complaining right now when he had been the one to kiss you in such a way. You were convinced he was overreacting. You were just being cheeky. It wasn’t as if you were going to climb onto his lap and fuck him in the hot tub for all to see. 

Although, you couldn’t say you hadn’t at least fantasized about it. 

It wasn’t until he grabbed his drink from the side of the pool deck and downed it, then started exiting the hot tub, swiftly wrapping his waist in a towel, clearly intending to head back to the room, that you understood  you’d really upset him, whether you’d meant to or not. 

“Percy, please! I’m sorry!” You said as he began walking away, while  climbing out of the hot tub yourself. You grabbed your towel and your drink and headed after him, catching up with him quickly. Not wanting to argue as you made your way all through the resort, you bit your tongue and walked swiftly, keeping up with your husband until the two of you made it back into your suite.

“Percy, look, I didn’t mean to upset you, I was just trying to have a bit of fun.” You try to rationalize, setting your drink on the counter of the kitchen while trying to dry yourself off. 

Your words seemed to fall on deaf ears. He dried himself off, grabbed a pair of boxers and a t-shirt from the shopping bags near the dresser, as well as the toiletries he’d picked up, and headed into your suite's bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Moments later you heard the shower kick on, and you were left alone in the living area of the suite to stew in your feelings on the matter. You’d never meant to upset him, and now he wouldn’t even listen.

You sat wrapped up in the plush resort towel at the table off the kitchen, and waited for him to come out, wanting a shower yourself before changing and laying down for the night. You  were scrolling your phone anxiously when he finally emerged from the bathroom some time later, steam from his shower wafting out of the door with him. You looked at him with pleading and sorrowful eyes, even if you didn’t think you’d done something to justify this reaction from him, the last thing you wanted was for your brand new husband to be upset with you on your honeymoon.

He strode across the room towards the bed and sat on one edge, his curls damp and laying against his forehead in a way that made you just want to push your fingers through them. You followed and sat down beside him. 

“Please don’t be angry with me. I never wanted to upset you.” You said softly. “I was just being cheeky. I thought you’d like it, with the way you were kissing me… But I wasn’t going to push things any further.”

He shook his head. “That wasn’t cheeky, it was inappropriate. Not only that, but you knew I didn't even want to go to the hot tubs tonight in the first place, I’m exhausted. I wanted to relax. You just pushed, and pushed, like it was all about you.”

You looked at him stunned, realizing this ran much further to him that you’d even realized. You felt terrible, and the look on your face conveyed as much. “I’m so, so sorry Percy.” 

He nodded, and took his glasses off, setting them on the bedside table beside him, signalling to you that he was more or less done with this conversation, and going to sleep. You got up, so that he could lay in, and he shut off the lamp closest to him. Not wanting to make anything worse at the moment, you grabbed yourself lounging clothes to change into, and headed into the bathroom for your own shower and to get ready for bed.

You took your time in the shower, thinking about what he’d said. You had not expected to have your first argument as a married couple on the very first day of your honeymoon. You stayed in the bathroom, and in your head, for longer than you’d anticipated, and when you came out dressed for bed, Percy appeared to be asleep. You shut off the remaining lights around the room and climbed into bed beside your husband, your weight shifting on the mattress beside him making him stir. You were aching to scoot close and wrap him in your arms, pull him against you, bury your nose in those curls… But his words still sat heavy in your mind… Scared to push anything more on him, you turned the other way and closed your eyes.

Your sleep was fitful that night, with an absence of dreams. When you awoke late the following morning, your eyes fluttered open to see that Percy’s side of the bed was empty. This was not an uncommon occurrence for the two of you. He was frequently early to bed and early to rise. Earlier than you, anyway.  Still, you couldn't help but wonder what kind of mood you’d find your husband in this morning. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, looking around the room. You didn’t see him. 

Pulling the covers back, you flipped your legs out of bed, and got up, peeking out the curtains to your terrace, checking for him. Nothing. 

“Percy?” You called as you headed to check the bathroom for him. There was no answer. Door was open, room was empty. Where the hell had he gone? 

Your husband didn’t own a cell phone. Despite his own father imploring him to get one (mostly for his own curiosity rather than for practical reasons) and despite the fact that you had one, it wasn’t a purchase he ever felt was worth making. You had no way to contact him to figure out where he’d gone. You scoured every surface of the suite for a note, and came up empty handed. Your mind racing and concern growing by the minute, you got yourself dressed and ready quickly, and headed out into the resort to look around for him, hoping maybe he’d just headed to check out the included breakfast offerings.

This was not the way you’d envisioned exploring the resort - searching for your husband. The resort was sprawling and took a good amount of time to walk through. You spent the better part of an hour walking the common areas of the resort, the restaurants that were open for breakfast, the coffee shops, gift shops, and even walking the pool decks closest to your suite, though his swim trunks were left hanging in the bathroom where he’d left them the night before. You’d explored and searched for so long, you were fairly confident that he’d be back in your suite by the time he returned. But he wasn’t. You resigned yourself to waiting for him, anxiously. You were quite worried, and thinking about what could be going on made tears prick your eyes and threaten to spill. Was he still angry? Surely not angry enough to leave without a word. Right? 

You’d lost track of the time you spent pacing nervously, picking at the skin around your fingernails, your thoughts spirling, when you heard the door lock beep and the sound of the electronic lock switching open. You stopped and stared at the door as your husband walked through it. 

You rushed to him, stopping just short of bumping into him.”Where the bloody hell have you been, percy? I’ve been so worried! Where were you?” Despite being relieved that he was back, your face contorted in anger.

Percy was clearly shocked at your outburst as he entered the suite, his eyebrows knitting together behind the bridge of his glasses. “Well, good morning to you too.” He said, somehow having the audacity to question your reaction to him arriving back. 

“Your phone rang while you were asleep. Airline called, said they found my luggage! So I went to the lobby and caught a cab and I went to pick it up. Bell service will be here with it any moment. As though I couldn't wheel my own luggage to our room” He said and chuckled a bit, then added, “But, they were quite insistent.” 

You were flabbergast. How was he so nonchalant? Did he truly not realize the tizzy he had you in? “So you just left? You didn't think to wake me, or, I don’t know, maybe leave a note?” You scolded him.

“Well, no, you were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you up and bother you. Can you blame me? You’re rough in the mornings if you’re disturbed.” He said.  “Though I suppose it didn’t cross my mind to leave a note. But it wasn’t like I was gone that long.”

“Not that long? Percy, I woke up to an empty bed and an empty room after you’d gone to bed upset with me! I was really worried!” You vented, your eyes feeling watery again as you explained the extent to which your thoughts had spiraled in his unexpected absence. “You were just so upset yesterday over every little thing that happened, and then last night you said I just pushed and pushed you… I thought you were still angry with me. I thought you’d left.”

Percy took a deep breath in and let out a sigh, and you could tell he understood now, at least enough to apologize. “No! No, no, no.” He said, his tone much softer than you'd expected it to be, even with the remorseful look on his face. He came to you, wrapping you in his arms and resting his chin on the top of your head. “I’m not angry, and I'd never up and leave like that. That’s a promise.” He said, and kissed your forehead. “I’m sorry that I had you worried.”

A knock at the door of your suite interrupted your thoughts. Percy released you from his embrace to get the door, knowing it would be the bellman with his luggage. A moment later, he was dragging his suitcase into the room, then locked the door behind the bellman as he left. Your husband returned to you, taking you in his arms arn rubbing your back gently as you wrapped your arms around his waist.

“I am so, so sorry that my mood yesterday and our little spat last night made you think I’d left in anger this morning.” He said softly, speaking his words against the top of your head while he nuzzled into you. “Yesterday was rough, getting here and all. I was tired and aggravated, and I took it out on you unfairly.” 

“And I’m sorry for pushing you so much. I should have listened when you said you were tired and wanted to stay in bed.” You apologized as well.

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for though. You only wanted to spend time with me… and to love me, on our honeymoon. I was being a bit of a bastard. You don’t need to apologize.” He said, pulling back from you slightly and tilting your head up to make eye contact with him. He rest his forehead against yours. “Could you forgive me? I’d like to make it up to you.” He whispered, his breath hot on your skin.

“Of course I forgive you.” You said. His heartfelt apology had you feeling much better, the tension you’d felt since the evening before finally melting away, you relaxed against him, your head against his chest as you hugged him tight.

“Please, let me show you how much I truly appreciate you. Let me take care of you.” He said, his neck leaning down to the crook of your shoulder as he spoke, you could feel his lips against your neck. 

You tilted your head up and he met your lips with his, his large hands moving to either side of your face and holding you gently as he captured you in a passionate and tender kiss. Your kiss never broke as he walked you backwards, back towards the bed, guiding you slowly until the backs of your legs were against it. His hands slid down your body, groping your curves until his fingers grazed under the hem of your t-shirt. He raised the garment up , your lips only parting when he pulled the top off over your head. He cast it to the floor and his hands moved down to your hips. 

His long fingers gripped at your flesh needily and his lips dragged down your neck and along your throat leaving kisses as he made his way to your collarbone. His teeth grazed your skin there, and you moaned, his breath giving you chills as it hit your kiss dampened skin. Your fingers worked into his curls, cradling his head to your body as his mouth trailed lower. His tongue pressing against one of your nipples as his lips wrapped around it while his fingers teased the other made your knees weak.

Recalling his lips from your body for just a moment to breathe, Percy pulled his own shirt off up over his head and tossed it aside. He pushed you gently back, laying you down onto the mattress and he tugged at the waistband of your lounge pants, pulling them down and off in one steady motion along with your panties. He shed his own bottoms just as swiftly and parted your legs with his hands before crawling up onto the bed in between them.

His arms wrapped around each of your thighs and he kissed from your stomach, down below your navel, taking his time and driving you wild with anticipation while he appreciated your body with his mouth. You were already breathing heavily when his tongue finally ran over your clit, swirling around it in gentle teasing circles, holding off on giving you the pressure you wanted from him while he further built up your desire.

Your body was buzzing with excitement as you watched his face between your legs. He looked up, grinning at you for a moment and removing his glasses, setting them aside on the bed before disappearing between your thighs once more, this time going in with purpose, his lips encircling your clit and sucking on you, making your body convulse. Your fingers sank into those auburn curls of his, running affectionately through his hair as he pleasured you.  The tip of his tongue flitted against you expertly, and he adjusted his position so that he could slip his fingers into your dripping and ready heat while he ate you out. 

He sucked at your clit while his fingers curled inside of you, working your most sensitive spots in tandem and making you moan his name and grip his hair tighter the closer to orgasm he brought you. He was thorough and determined to make you cum before taking an ounce of pleasure for himself, and he knew exactly how to bring you to that edge. He let up with his mouth, rubbing you inside vigorously now with an intense pressure that soon had your walls pulsing and tightening around his fingers. Your breath was reduced to shallow gasps and your hips rut against his hand as those waves of pleasure ran over you. He pulled his now sopping hand out from between your thighs and he returned his tongue to your slit, tasting you deeply before he crawled his way up your body, his head hung low and trailing more kisses along your skin as he worked his way up to your lips.

You could taste yourself on his lips through his kiss but it was no deterrent for you. One of his hands made their way back to your face as he kissed you fiercely and the other gripped his length as he ground his hips against you, lining himself up before pressing himself into your heat with the most contented groan. He held you tight, much of his body weight leaning against you as he took up a slow and intentional pace. Your lips stayed connected to his, your hand gripping his curls and ensuring it so, savoring your combined taste on his tongue. Your other arm wrapped around his shoulders, nails grazing his skin and making him shiver as he fucked you.

His pace remained slow and deliberate, it was clear he was intending on taking his time with you, building himself up slowly and wanting to enjoy you for as long as he could before finishing. 

Your eyes closed in pure ecstasy as he continued on, his hips thrusting against yours, every one of his movements deep and calculated, until your body was once again writhing beneath him and his motions started to falter as he approached his climax as well. He bit against the side of your neck, your walls clenching around him as your second orgasm hit and it pushed him to finish as well. You could feel his length twitch inside of you while he came, emptying himself while buried deep within you. He laid his body gently to your side, his arms encircling you as the two of you caught your breath together, coming down from your shared release. 

In this moment, everything was perfect. You’d practically forgotten why you were upset with him earlier after the way he’d just loved you so thoroughly. You really did feel entirely taken care of.

“I’m glad yesterday is behind us now.” He said breathlessly. “I promise we’ll enjoy every second of the rest of our honeymoon, even if we don’t leave this bed. I love you.”

“I love you too, Percy. Today’s the first full day, we’ll make it count from here.” You replied, after taking a moment to get a full breath.

“Sounds like a plan, love.”

[james-a-b]

the TATINOF experience

ok so. i've wanted to make a post about this for a While now; i feel like a lot of people don't really understand or appreciate how unprecedented TATINOF really was, and for me, watching it in Seattle in 2016, it was the best day of my life.

So here we go.

(I've put the rest below a readmore bc this is an 18 paragraph post lmao)

On March 26th, 2015, Dan and Phil revealed TABINOF via a trailer set in the distant future. The book itself was not entirely unprecedented- other youtubers had written and were writing books, but for the most part (at the time) these were either fictional works or serious biographies; TABINOF was a time capsule of Dan and Phil's youtube brand, and a glimpse into parts of their lives we hadn't seen yet. (For example; Phil's hamster breeding adventures) But tucked into the pages of the book in the trailer were a pair of tickets to The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire. This was insane. No youtuber had ever gone on tour before, save perhaps for a few musicians; no one had done a stage show. No one knew what to expect.

And, as they asked the audience of each show not to share spoilers, most of us went on not knowing what to expect until we'd seen it ourselves.

I saw the show on June 18th, 2016, near the end of the US leg of the tour. I went in knowing three things:

There were set ways in which we the audience could participate: there was Crafty Corner, Weird Kid, Phone Support Hotline, and a 7 Second Challenge submission box. (I submitted art to Crafty Corner, and I was thrilled just knowing they'd see it)

The set was a giant microwave. What this meant, I could not imagine.

Everyone who'd already seen the show said it was incredible.

I remember having had a dream that I was at the show like a week before it actually happened, and I woke up just as the show was about to start in the dream because my brain couldn't come up with anything they might do onstage lmao.

I can't even begin to put into words how incredible the atmosphere was before the show even started. Phannies were lined up for two blocks outside the theatre, and I'd never felt so welcome anywhere in my life. The doors opened. I believe Cornelia was working the merch stand pre-show, though I don't remember for sure- I got a signed copy of TABINOF and then I took my seat.

The set was incredible, and the pre-show playlist was amazing. Everyone sang along to every song, and when Troye Sivan's Wild came on, everyone screamed. Seriously, if you've never looked at the pre-show playlist for TATINOF you should. Finally, All Star by Smash Mouth played. Everyone was singing along, and laughing because of course Dan put that in there, and then, halfway through the song, the music stops and the lights go out. Everyone screamed, and the opening sequence began to play on the microwave. I understand why they opted to edit that directly into the beginning of the recording, because it would've been a little difficult to see in the recording otherwise, but at the same time it hit so much better when it played directly on the microwave.

And then they came out on stage, and they were so much more awkward than I expected. Dan kept squatting slightly, like he was trying to be shorter, and Phil moved almost like a marionette. They said their hellos, and then they addressed the microwave being there, and the plot started to become apparent- Phil had microwaved his laptop.

I'm not going to get into too much detail on every bit of the show, because I've already written about eight paragraphs and I could write about twenty more going play-by-play through every aspect of the show, but that's not the point of this essay, so I'll attempt to keep things at least a little shorter than that.

The first truly unprecedented thing was when Dan said they were "having a bit of a domestic" when Phil said he couldn't get off the lion. This was the very first time they'd come anywhere near addressing the elephant in the room (their relationship) publicly since the V-day vid. Obviously, compared to the things they've said in 2024 (we've never fucked on youtube, etcetera), "we're having a bit of a domestic" is incredibly tame, but this was huge. Everyone screamed.

And then, shortly after, Phil started singing, and everyone screamed much louder. They did little songs all the time in baking videos or while playing the sims, but this was different. This was on stage, with a spotlight and everything. It was not a surprise to me when Dan cut Phil off; I thought the song was for sure a joke, that there was no way they'd come back to it (spoiler alert, they did).

And then there was the 7 Second Challenge bit, and Reasons Why Phil Was A Weird Kid, and Uncle Dan's Phone Support Hotline, and the PINOF 75 bit. And it was all weird and crazy and amazing. But the next thing I really want to focus on is Fanfiction Live.

Fanfiction Live was... absolutely insane. My show chose cowboys on the moon, and the script they wrote for it was.... so undeniably gay? Like. "Should Phil draw Dan like a French girl"? Are you kidding? This really happened???? They wrote this in 2015. Four years before they came out. This was so far beyond unprecedented. This was unthinkable.

And then, immediately following this insanity, they began Smashing Plates and then they were like "IT'S DIL" and by this point i was hoarse from screaming but when I tell you I screamed...

And then Dil said all those things about Dan feeling like nothing he did was worth anything, but that it meant a lot to Dil and to the audience, and that Phil felt like he had to change who he was to please others but that we appreciated him for who he is... I melted. It was a moment of such genuine honesty, and they'd saved my life, and I loved them so, so much.

And then Phil started singing again, and Dan didn't stop him, and Dan started singing too, and the song was so them, ironic yet genuine, and I was out of my mind because I couldn't believe they were Singing On Stage like that, like, they were youtubers. Not professional singers. No one asked or expected them to go that far. But they did it.

it was the best day of my life.

[lilbagdermole]

Hello! It's always great to meet another Taang shipper!

What do you love most about Taang?

I hope you have a great day!!!

Hey!!

Oh, it's so nice to see that Taang is still loved by so many people (and it's always really nice to see active blogs about them ^^)

What do I love most about Taang?

I love their dynamics. They bounce off each other almost harmoniously, because they are opposites in so many aspects of their lives: beliefs and morals, elements, backgrounds and childhoods. They clash and struggle and are far from perfect, yet, no matter how big the storm, how complex the disagreement - they always reconcile, they always listen to one another, they always learn and grow and strive to become better people. They respect one another so much to work around their oppositions and thus balance and understand one another in ways that no other member of the ATLA cast can replicate (with Aang and Toph).

And though they are natural opposites, they still have so much in common if you delve deeper. Aang and Toph are the youngest in the Gaang - and share the same love for teasing and joking; they share a very deep connection with the the original benders of their respective elements (Toph with the Badgermoles and Aang with Appa); they both runaway from their homes at a young age because of paramount expectations; both are masters of their bending - even inventing a new form/bending style at 12 years-old (air scooter and metalbending).

Aang represented all Toph needed in her life - freedom, loyalty, companionship and a friend. He saw her beyond her perceived weakness and never underestimated her capabilities as an earthbender and his potential master. He taught her to trust and confide, understood her when no other person did and soften the hard edges that she'd constructed to protect herself from her suffocating reality. In a sense, Aang was a breath of fresh air in her life.

Toph, on the other hand, represented all Aang needed - stability, confidence, strength. Aang, being the Avatar, had been coddled and protected by almost everyone - Katara, Sokka, admirers, etc. He wasn't Aang, he was a symbol - a symbol of hope and peace. But Toph didn't care about his divine-like power, didn't care that everyone around him praised the very ground he stepped on - in Toph's perspective, Aang was Aang. A kid just like her and she treated him as equals; never afraid of pushing him to further his growth; she taught him to stand his ground, face his enemies head on, become a stronger, confident bender. She was the ground that anchored him to the mortal world and made him feel normal.

It's also poetic, in the finale - Toph is in the air whilst Aang is mostly on Earth. And, may I add, that at the end, whilst Zuko and Katara ultimately did teach him plenty so he could face the Firelord, Aang's preferred bending style, that was not his own, was Earthbending. The element that had once stumped him, frustrated him; the hardest element to master, his opposite... and now, he used it to protect himself, to shield and fight. He used every technique Toph taught him - rock armor, crushing earth, even seismic sense... Toph ultimately saved Aang during the Finale.

I can go on and on about them, but I'm in the midst of writing a dissertation on Toph and Aang's development and potential in ATLA - so I'll save most of my thoughts for that whenever I get to completing it.

And... let's be honest. Aang and Toph together just look so beautiful. They would be the IT COUPLE in ATLA - their canonical height difference should be reason enough to stan Taang. Avatar and The World's Greatest Earthbender... come on now! And it would just fit right - Aang as an adult would have to travel the world and Toph would gladly travel alongside him since she doesn't have a "home" (Aang is her home); and, as adults they could built Republic City from the ground up whilst also balancing raising a family... UGH! IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD!!!