#do you even understand that fakers exist? it seems not

[youdonthavedid]

1. This comparison doesn’t work. Nonbinary people don’t redefine the core criteria of being trans—they expand it. Fabricated DID claims, however, directly contradict the clinical understanding of the disorder, undermining how it’s diagnosed and treated. The harm isn’t in existing; it’s in misrepresenting a trauma-based condition.

2. Even if someone presents themselves ‘genuinely,’ that doesn’t mean their presentation aligns with reality. People can believe in and perpetuate misinformation without malicious intent, but it still causes harm. Misrepresentation isn’t about intent—it’s about impact.

3. The evidence is in the consequences: genuine DID cases face increased skepticism, media misrepresents the disorder, and the diagnostic process becomes muddied. These outcomes are observable and well-documented. Plurality and ‘systemhood’ are not clinically equivalent to DID, and that’s not my opinion—that’s the position of actual psychologists and researchers. Do an ounce of research yourself and you’ll see this. Browse psychologist and psychiatrist subreddits, filter for DID and see how they are trying to combat the recent rise of cases of self-diagnosed DID. This is not the extent of where your research should take you, merely a starting point for firsthand experiences from professionals.

4. Exaggeration becomes an issue when it deviates from the clinical framework of DID or OSDD. Psychologists and clinicians—not random Tumblr users—set these standards. Claims that ignore trauma, dissociation, or diagnostic criteria fall outside those bounds, and their prevalence fosters skepticism toward genuine cases.

5. Healthcare professionals are the ones who assess resource use based on clinical need. If someone self-identifies as DID without meeting the diagnostic criteria, they may be taking resources from people with genuine trauma-based dissociation. Resources aren’t infinite, and misallocation has real consequences for those who desperately need them.

6. Control groups are deliberately chosen and well-documented in research studies. Random claims that don’t meet diagnostic criteria are not ‘controls’—they’re noise that skews results. Comparing non-disordered plurality to disordered systems is only valid if participants are accurately categorized, and that categorization isn’t up to Tumblr users, but trained researchers.

The term ‘singlet’ tells me everything I need to know about how seriously you take this conversation. It’s not a clinical term—it’s internet slang, which is exactly the problem when you conflate real disorders with online identity trends.

You’ve spent more time trying to derail the conversation than actually addressing the harm caused by misinformation. If your position requires redefining clinical terms and dismissing real-world consequences, it’s not as strong as you think. Thanks for the debate—this has been enlightening.

The real-world consequences of a large number of people pretending to have dissociative identity disorder (DID), like we’re seeing in this recent online trend, can be significant, both for individuals who genuinely suffer from the disorder and for society at large. These consequences include:

Stigma and Misunderstanding of DID

Skepticism toward real cases: Increased prevalence of people pretending to have DID can lead to skepticism among the general public, healthcare providers, and even family members of those with legitimate diagnoses. This can make it harder for individuals with DID to receive support or be taken seriously.

Media misrepresentation: Public attention on fake or exaggerated cases may perpetuate harmful stereotypes about DID, framing it as an attention-seeking behavior or entirely fictitious.

Erosion of Trust in Mental Health Diagnoses

Undermining clinical authority: If the perception grows that DID is easy to fake, it may erode trust in the ability of mental health professionals to accurately diagnose and treat complex disorders.

Distrust in self-reporting: Since DID diagnosis relies heavily on self-reported symptoms, widespread fabrication could undermine confidence in the self-reporting process for all mental health conditions.

Resource Allocation Challenges

Misuse of resources: Mental health services are already stretched thin. If people pretending to have DID seek therapy or participate in support systems meant for those with real disorders, it diverts resources away from those who genuinely need help.

Research setbacks: Falsified cases can contaminate clinical studies, distorting research data and hindering progress in understanding and treating DID.

Harm to Advocacy and Awareness Efforts

Delegitimizing advocacy: Advocacy organizations for DID and trauma-related disorders may face backlash if people perceive them as platforms for attention-seekers rather than legitimate support networks.

Reduced funding: Public and institutional support for DID-related research and resources may decline if the disorder is viewed as overdiagnosed or fabricated.

Ethical and Interpersonal Consequences

Exploitation of trauma narratives: Pretending to have DID often involves mimicking behaviors and experiences associated with severe trauma, trivializing the real pain and suffering of individuals with histories of abuse or trauma.

Interpersonal harm: People pretending to have DID may manipulate others, whether consciously or unconsciously, by leveraging the perceived vulnerability associated with the disorder to gain sympathy, attention, or social capital.

Online and Social Media Impact

Normalization of misinformation: Platforms like TikTok and YouTube have seen a surge in content creators claiming to have DID, often presenting the disorder inaccurately. This can spread misinformation and confuse viewers about what DID actually entails.

Fetishization and trivialization: Public displays of DID-like behavior can lead to its fetishization or reduction to entertainment, further disrespecting those living with the condition.

Legal and Institutional Consequences

Legal abuse: Individuals faking DID might exploit the diagnosis in legal contexts to evade accountability, creating precedent for suspicion and making it harder for genuine cases to be considered seriously.

Policy resistance: Policymakers may become less likely to prioritize funding or protections for trauma-related disorders if they are perceived as prone to exaggeration or fraud.

While the intent behind pretending to have DID may vary—from seeking attention to exploring identity—the consequences are overwhelmingly harmful.

They not only undermine the credibility and dignity of those with DID but also exacerbate societal misconceptions about mental illness.

[dingodad]

Can you talk about what you think of gamzee for a bit? I think out of all the characters, he's the only one I've never understood.

to a certain degree this goes without saying for Homestuck villains but Gamzee is a perpetuator of cycles. he takes out the frustrations instilled in him by his upbringing - which is tragic to a comical extent even on a planet where all children are raised by wild animals - by exerting the same sort of patriarchal abuse upon those around him that initially led to his neglect, and he takes this so far as to literally become the guy responsible for Alternia's patriarchal hegemony in the first place: firstly and figuratively by perpetuating the cycle of neglect upon his son Caliborn, and then by bodily becoming one with Lord English. such is Gamzee's relationship with Lil Cal; a ventriloquist's dummy is merely a puppet you project your own thoughts into. even when it might superficially appear as if Gamzee is being 'controlled' by his god, just as with Dirk, his interactions with Cal are only conversations with a version of himself. that Gamzee is able to identify the Mirthful Messiahs as being "both me. :o) [and] MOTHERFUCKING ME. Do:" is pretty near-explicit acknowledgement of this, and more subtly an acknowledgement of Homestuck's broader themes of projection and manifestation.

perhaps a bow can be drawn between this and his role as the Bard - classically, a poet charged with keeping tradition and the historical narrative alive by remembering and reciting the epics. such "ROWDY AND CAPRICIOUS MINSTRELS" are key to Gamzee's religion, and it's when his understanding of these religious prophecies are challenged that Gamzee seems to become the most disturbed. upholding these core spiritual precepts / alpha time loops is even the purpose of his magical abilities: a "chucklevoodoo" should be thought of as essentially another name for a "juju", an enchantment so powerful, an idea so crucial, that it is believed to have no beginning or end, thus having simply existed forever. Lil Cal, a juju by name, is born from Gamzee's chucklevoodoos in this manner, but the same process is enacted in the abstract upon John: Egbert's fear of clowns is what leads to Jack Noir infecting the trolls' session, so Gamzee punishes him by inflicting him with that fear of clowns to begin with. he simply manifests those things that have always been there, hiding in the dark, all along.

largely separate to this, a newer line of thinking I've not really discussed before: it seems to me that being a "faker" is also key to Gamzee's character. in Homestuck's eyes, the comedy inherent in the concept of the Insane Clown Posse is exactly the same reason that "a white guy who is a rapper with a ventriloquist doll is not cool by any stretch of the imagination" - it's lame when white guys pose as 'hood', and with this in mind it seems especially charged that Gamzee's facepaint-wearing cult all venerate a group of figures referred to as "minstrels". per malo, Karkat's assessment of Gamzee as "AN IDIOT IN MAKEUP" can be parsed as transmisogynist slur, and the neverending attention drawn to his codpiece obviously serves to throw Gamzee's figurative manhood under scrutiny: drag and minstrelsy both are indispensable chapters in the history of modern clowning, and as the "wildcard role" the Bard is suited to pretending in any of these roles. but there is also the sense that, in his role as voodoo-storyteller, Gamzee has the ability to make the fake real - or at least, to obfuscate or outright ignore the difference between the two - through psychic manipulations or otherwise. whether Gamzee is 'really god tier' or not, for instance, becomes essentially a moot point when the author asserts that clowns have their own version of immortality "for reasons that basically don't make any sense." the Bard is able to embody the role of a god simply by putting on the costume.

[sophieinwonderland]

In regards to the debunk you put. Pro endo ≠ Pro fakers

Hope this helps :)

Are you the person who made those posts?

Sending this on anon after your hostie got tired of you publicly humiliating yourself, made you delete your blog and put you in a time out?

Anyway, reminder that willogenic and protogenic systems are not faking and are largely the ones who created the endogenic community. You would know this if you had even the slightest understanding of plural history.

But you don't seem to have the slightest understanding of anything at all.

Is the reason you consider "thinking" a "strange phenomenon" because you are so fundamentally incapable of doing it?

Psychologists have studied tulpamancy. They've affirmed it as a real psychological phenomenon.

They've published peer reviewed studies on it through reputable publishers like Oxford University Press.

Frankly, even the suggestion that tulpamancers have written hundreds of guides for a practice that doesn't work, some of which are novel-length, and distributed them for free with nothing in return is pretty absurd. As is the suggestion that tulpamancers somehow can't distinguish between an inner monologue and a dialogue.

"Scientifically proven" how???

Where is the study? What was its methodology? Who conducted it? What was its scope and limitations? Did the study actually look at nonpathological forms of plurality or ONLY at DID? Heck, did it even look at other forms of CDDs?

If you've ACTUALLY done the research, you should have zero problem answering these questions. But something tells me you've never read a single peer reviewed paper in your entire life.

See, I've actually read academic papers. I've compiled my own list of resources for easy citation.

But you strike me as someone who is pretending. You're pretending to be educated and pretending to have done your own research when you've probably just formulated your opinions from random posts on the internet and TikToks.

In all this time, I've never once see a single instance of a psychiatrist or psychologist even claiming that you need negative experiences to be plural. I don't think the sources you're talking about actually exist.

This whole "scientifically proven" claim is just an argument by assertion. You're hoping that if you repeat it loudly and often enough, eventually people will believe it.

I mean, it was a "single" spelling error you made twice. If you make it once, it's a typo. When you make it twice, it's you honestly thinking factitious disorder is "factive disorder."

And I think that does demonstrate how little research you've actually done into psychology and how YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

Yeah, I'm calling you an anti-endo and a sysmed because you are through your actions, regardless of whatever label you might identify with.

I think even the coiner of 'endogenic systems' would agree with my assessment seeing as they already told you off.

In the end, this is all you have.

Arguments by assertion and personal attacks. You cling to these because you have nothing else to offer an intellectual discussion. And in the end, you just have to resort to endless childish namecalling.

[cathulhu-collective]

Legitimately, even if they do not believe in programming or the continuation of abuse by the slew of alphabet agencies under the US government. It is legitimately well known that conditioning is rampant throughout basically every modern military out there? Like it is a key component of basic training to break the person and build them back up to suit the needs of the military, it shows an absolute willingness to condition people. They’re literally just siding with the military industrial complex, and I so don’t understand how they justify that in their mind.

I’m not really a military programming survivor, but like you said a lot of programming(even in non-military settings like cults) will use tactics and information laid out by the these organization. Personally speaking, one of my abusers survived military programming, and then just continued it on in the far right paramilitary cult I grew up in. People would be shocked to know how often situations like this occur.

Idk i’m sorry they’re treating you like shit. I can tell you know your shit on how you’re able to break stuff down and put it into understandable term. Game recognizes game. Just know that there are people out there that believe your experience, because similar things happen to them too.

Also, what exact pronouns do you use? I know in one of your posts you referred to yourself as a chick, but I find it best not to make assumptions on tiny things like that. 

I really appreciate this post. For my pronouns, both she/they are good with me 🙂

With respect to the military programming thing, exactly - basic trainings explicit purpose is to break and rebuild the person into a soldier. To this end, some of the best psychologists in the world have been employed by the DoD. Not just for interrogating, understanding, and tracking targets, but also for use on our own personnel. And intelligence services - they generally don't put their officers through it to the extent of the military.

Intelligence officers are trained and conditioned to be loyal, feel special and chosen, and put moral scruples to the side in some cases. However, the assets a case officer handles (they don't call them handlers, they call them 'case officers') are meant to be totally under their control, and the training of a case officer is based on how to accomplish exactly that. I was watching a podcast with a former case officer on it and he said that he was his assets "priest, confessor, therapist, friend".... and that he'd missed his calling as a psychiatrist, but he was very clear that his job was manipulation, programming, control of said asset, rather than helping them work through problems. He didn't seem to mind being honest about it - that's what all that training is about. It's all for the greater good. Ect.

I'm sorry to hear you were raised in a family that had a strong background in all that. I think that it is something that tends to become a tradition within families, it's like the military programming of the parent is passed off in a similar way upon their children. And, often, those children end up joining.

Don't get me wrong - I get why they do it. I actually do. I fight with myself a lot on that point. The fact that I don't hate the people who did/do this to me, and I should, and if I knew somebody else and it happened to them, I would be furious on their behalf. But, I find myself with a really strong sense of stolkholm syndrome (another thing I've seen the faker subreddits claim does not exist, just like they think DID does not exist). some alters are very attached to the programming, as crazy as that sounds. but they fight with the parts who can't stand the attachments, and it drives an intense self loathing and confusion between different parts.

I have always wanted to talk to people about the overlap between cults and gov sanctioned programming. I have read a lot of stuff but just based on my own experience, I know that a lot of the most important parts of these kinds of experiences are not really written anywhere.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

Wisdom vs Knowledge

The reason we have a concept known as "Adults" aside from just maturation of the body, is based on the idea of wisdom. Wisdom is technically knowledge, but it's more lived experience than anything else. Even deeper than that, it's a level of understanding you have of things based on that experience.

Knowledge is knowing you can cook most things.

Wisdom is knowing not everything is cooked in the same way.

Similarly I've seen issues arise from people not knowing the difference. Initially I was going to label this post, "Fantasy vs Reality" but decided this works better. Moreover since it's often the fact that people lacking in wisdom is WHY they can't separate fantasy from reality.

Recently I've seen people getting mad at Anime, and other mediums in general because of really dumb concepts. For example, Antis, who are people on twitter that seem to have a problem with everything are mostly on the younger side. They whine about stuff as a virtue signal when if you look into their likes and comments you'll see they very much like similar stuff to what they are publicly complaining about. We used to call these people fakers. Now we call them tourists. Though truthfully it's hard to know if either of those are accurate at all.

Mostly due in to the fact that it could very well just be clout chasing. And shitting on certain mediums because they can. More often than not, anime. And more often than not when they do it, they are extremely racist and xenophobic when they go about the virtue signaling. Because when it becomes pervasive in your life it alters your mind. And you end up with stuff like this

Fantasy is fantasy. No reality. They don't exist in real life. They don't have a mind of their own. They can't "Consent" or not consent. They are not real. They should never be treated like they are real. And the issue with treating them like they are real comes with the VERY real threat of that becoming the norm. All kink books? Gone. All books with murder? Gone. All books with abuse? Gone. All books with bigotry? Gone (except for acceptable bigotry at any given time. *like now with it being fine to be bigots towards whites and cis people*)

However, in this case I don't just mean books. I mean all story mediums. This is the same argument made by those that argue that video games cause violence. Except in every single study ever conducted it's more likely that video games REDUCE violent tendencies, rather than create them.

The thing however that made me make this post is because ignorant people on Twitter have been making a fuss because of course they have, but in regards to an anime that I like called "Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End". In the anime, you are introduced to an Elf woman who has live for quite a long time. During the anime they meet Demons that are left over from the war with the Demon King.

Demons, in the anime, are basically monsters or beasts that have attained human language. However, they only truly use human tongue to deceive humans. They lack most emotion, and do not have concept ideas like family or love at all. And even when treated with these emotions nothing changes. Nothing shifts. Fundamentally they are lower than beasts. They only things they feel are what we would classify as the negative emotional spectrum. Pride and Anger among the highest 2. Often, they are also arrogant. And most importantly, they are man-eaters. They feel no remorse. They feel no care. They feel more often than not, nothing.

So what does this anime have to do with this topic? This:

Want to know what Wisdom has to do with this? Understanding nuance. Knowledge is knowing racism is bad. Wisdom is knowing that it existing in a medium isn't an endorsement. Ignorance is not understanding that Demons, in this medium are a species. Not a race. But then again, this is not the only one like this. At this point, I'm almost at the point of saying, if parents can't do their jobs as parents, maybe they should just keep their kids away from fantasy as a whole.

Clearly, they are too young, or even if not young, too immature to handle it. And part of all of this is why I have a loathing for tourists (in this context) Because it's not just the youth that lack this wisdom. It's a lot of people in general. I'd have more to say on this, but I've made my point.

All I'm going to say is if you think like the comments in the very first picture, you need to stop consuming fiction. Because it's clear you can't consume it in a healthy manner. And thus forth should not consume it at all. Live life a little and come back with more wisdom. Until then? Get the f*ck out of my fandom and stay out. Because I'm sick of people who lack wisdom making claims every other day about stuff in anime or gaming, when it come out of Japan that are just not true.

Grow up. Oh, and if you take the media company Vice at face value? You not just lack wisdom. You're a moron.

[the80srewinders]

part two.

your hate seems misplaced. you feared anti-endos and what they say, you feared that they might call you a faker. the fear that your trauma might not be enough is completely valid when anti-endos refuse to acknowledge those without it. it seems that you overcame that and now you fully realise what type of system you're in and the reasoning behind why it is like that (congratulations! understanding your own nature is often difficult, but you managed to do it. good job. /genuine).

now you realise how endos feel, right? they fear not being "plural enough" because their origins are not the same as yours. i know what you feel when you say that you're jealous. skip to the start if the next paragraph, please, if you don't want to read about my experience as a member of a system with unknown origins and about my relationship with trauma. [|||] i was jealous of those like you. when i doubted our identity, i wished we had trauma more severe than what we already have. silly, isn't it? why on earth would you wish for that? because i never felt like we were enough to be actually plural. i wished that our dissociation was more severe and we switched more often because i never thought we had enough proof to be called a system. i would even say this obsessive thought made me abusive towards my headmates and i take full responsibility for that. i was bad. still am to some degree. i still feel like all this would be better if our life was even worse than it already is, more full of trauma. at least then we would be sure.

so what is the reason you hate endos? i can't understand. because they weren't traumatised? because they are perfect, happy systems with good communication? but that's not how it always is, is it. some endos are traumatised. some of them are dysfunctional. some suffer from things that come with their plurality. not all of them, of course, but so are not all traumagenic systems actively suffer for the same reasons. and while it may seem unfair that thir plurality doesn't stem from trauma, it's just how it turned out to be.

there are "perfect" systems, of course. but they want to exist in peace like we all do. they've done nothing to deserve your hate. maybe one day your system will be functional, with great communication, with positive relationships between your system's members, including you. but hate doesn't help with healing.

hope this helps! :D

P.S.: sorry if my words seem incoherent in some places, headache is killing me. casting Something Good Will Happen Soon spell on you, have a great morning/day/evening/night!

- B-a

first, I'd like to say I relate to the "I feel like my trauma isn't enough, I don't switch enough, I don't dissociate enough, I wish I had more severe trauma" thing, but that itself is a trauma response. it's a clear example of how people can think they're endogenic, when they are actually an OSDD system or a did system that doesn't fit the stereotype of the most horrific abuse as a small child or switching every five seconds. there's so much misinformation, which I will admit plenty of anti endos help spread, caused by symptom exaggeration.

I've been on both sides- I've wanted more trauma just to feel valid, and I've wished I had none so I could be the "perfect and cool" collective. so I relate to what you're saying.

again, I realize some endos have struggles similar to those with DID/osdd. I'm not doubting that endos are human; even though I don't like what most of the endo community has done, and it's impossible to have headmates without trauma, I still care about endos as humans. I don't hate them per se; I just hate their actions.

personally, I believe most endos have DID/OSDD but are in denial because of the toxic anti endos who make high standards for what a "real" did/OSDD system does and exaggerate their own symptoms. not all anti endos are like that, but I feel like that's why because endos are so hostile to anti endos.

you have your opinion, and I have mine. I respect yours even if I don't agree, and I hope you can respect mine. at least you're more civil than most endos we've had in our asks, and wishing you a great day too. that was actually mature of you and it's well appreciated.

[confessions-official]

Tw ed and possible depression?

I feel sick when I think about if I'm depressed or not. I dont like using that word, I havent earned it. I have a loving family and the best girlfriend in the world. I dont wanna die, I just dont wanna exist. I dont wanna do anything except smoke weed, Which helps things not seem so dim. It makes me feel less. Bored I guess. I sont wanna do anything. I dont wanna game, I dont wanna talk to my family, I dont wanna talk to my friends, I dont wanna talk to my girlfriend, I dont wanna draw, I dont wanna do my work, I dont wanna get out of bed. But I do. I know people who are depressed who cant make themself gwt out of bed.

I feel like a faker. I cant tell anyone I feel this way because it'd be unnecessary burden to them, And their lives are already hard enough without me adding to it. I don't want to tell anyone the bad stuff because then they'd think the same way, But mt life isnt even that bad. Its hard to say or send anything because my body just. Doesnt let me. I'll be trying to post a silent cry for help and automatically exit out and cancel the post. I'll write it all up and instead of hitting send I delete it all.

I dont even eat half the time anymore. I wait until its unbearable and affecting me to eat. I used to tell my gf because when she tells me to eat I do, But I stopped. I dont wanna bother her. Nobody notices either, Since in our house we usually only eat dinner together, And that's if my dad doesnt have to work. He leaves at 3 o'clock every day so its not like he can see if I'm eating or not.

Im doing better in school now, I was trying but. Now I'm not. It doesnt matter though. I dont even remember what grade I'm in. Being homeschooled means I never have to see or speak to anyone. Its what I wanted anyways. Less work. Less hours. Less effort lower goals yet higher outcomes. I had 3 F's almost constantly in school, Now I only have one, And the rest are A's and B's.

Its easy when you can search anything and everything up. If I have an essay I read the wiki page for whatever its about and I've only gotten 100%'s in english so far. My overall grade is a 100% for english actually

I just dont understand. I dont hate myself do I? I thought i finally loved myself. I thought i finally fixed it i fixed myself i was finally better i was normal. Theres no reaskn i should be feeling so desprately lost and so alone nd so. Sad

I'm sorry. I know this isnt the blog for this, I know this is for confessions but this is the only place I can say any of this. I couldnt tell anyone in my life that I dont wanna exist, Or that I think my brain snapped, Or that I have serious problems. I hate this. I just want someone to know and care. I just want someone to notice something is wrong. Itd make it so much fucking easier if I coulrnt jide behind the lie of 'im okay'

 

[kiefbowl]

I have a low quality of attraction to women, it is very weak, I tried for years to "unpack" and "work on" making it stronger but it is not something you can do. does that mean I am a faker and a "spicy straight" who doesn't belong, and that I deserve to be mocked, derided, and treated like shit? because I can't make my SSA magically get stronger by "unpacking internalized homophobia"? I can't change the strength of my desires, it's not something I have control over. Of course it is innate! If it wasn't, I would have experiences like women who do have a stronger innate attraction. but I do not relate at all to women who have a stronger innate attraction to other women, even ones who struggle with internalized homophobia. I think you are making lots of assumptions about what the experience of women like me is actually like. I feel like you think we aren't real and don't exist. I think the kinsey scale is extremely useful because it describes accurately my low level of BOTH quality and quantity of attraction to women.

Okay, so I think this is a good example of why tumblr can be a poor exchange of ideas because people usually only see the most recent posts made about a conversation and have no indication of what kicked off, especially if it was hours ago. So, let me use this ask to just coalesce all the thoughts in one place.

What I've said is that I'm not convinced that people are describing something innate when people express bisexuality with any preferences to one sex or the other. That is not a value judgement. I'm speaking to the fact that external factors influencing their experiences seems a much more viable explanation. I've also detailed my very long held critical view of the Kinsey scale, and have made concessions every time I've mentioned it that someone might find it useful to describe their own experiences, while also detailing that it can be leveraged in ways for people to not come to terms with their innate sexuality. I would hope when saying that, we can recognize I'm talking to the fact that we are living in a homophobic society (which is an external factor, not an internal factor), so it's reasonable to understand that both gay people and bisexual people might have trouble fully accepting their orientation in a variety of ways. Additionally, bisexual people can be homophobic while recognizing they're bisexual, so when a bisexual person expresses more preferences for the other sex rather than the same sex, how can we be sure they're expressing a internal, innate, unchangeable, biological expression of sexuality and not be sure that they're homophobia is affecting that perception of preference?

However, with all this said, my criticisms of the Kinsey scale have little to do with how people use it, and more to do that it's not meaningfully measuring anything. The only thing it "measures" is how people are willing to identify themselves against it when presented with it. That's not scientific, or mathematically relevant, or provides any insight to the data collected by Kinsey. I believe that Kinsey only used it to collect data, by having people self identify on it when researching (which is fine), however as it stands on it's own and as it's very popularly used and referred to today, it's not anything but a self-identifying tool. If you want to use it to self identify yourself with a value, as I've always maintained, that's for you to decide. It's definitely leveraged in pop-queer theory irresponsibly and inaccurately, along with other things like the "split attraction model" which you can see the Kinsey scale's influence. Again, and maybe I'm wrong, I don't think Kinsey designed it for public use, it was just designed for his data collection purposes, which without a data collection study becomes, like I've said, just a self identifying tool by it's own metrics.

When it comes to how YOU, specifically YOU as an individual, I'm not interested in arguing about your orientation, and I never will be. It's rude to think anyone can be more of an expert in someone's else internal life than that person. If you believe your sexual preferences are innate, I obviously can't convince you otherwise. And I never will try directly. I feel entitled to speak on bisexuality because I'm bisexual, but if you think I'm wrong then we agree to disagree. I think orientation is innate, and describes which sex you're capable to be attracted to in relation to your own sex. I don't think anyone can be divorced from their culture or upbringing, which is going to impact how you approach sex and relationships. Ultimately though, when it comes to the sex and relationships you want to have, you can't be wrong for pursuing healthy, satisfying, mutually beneficial love. It doesn't matter to me if external factors are affecting your decisions, because you're allowed to pursue sex with the people you desire. Of course external factors are going to affect your decisions. External factors effect all of us, regardless of our orientation. That doesn't make your choices invalid, like I said this is not a value statement on how you choose to pursue sex and relationships. I'm observing that self identifying a preference as a bisexual is not more convincing as an innate, biological experience rather than be influenced by external factors.

I hope that provides clarity to anything I believe. I'm willing to take more questions about this, if people want.

[cryptic-paw]

A Rambling

What is wrong with me?

The strain on my brain is starting to be unbearable

My life is one, sick, twisted game

I feel the longing and desire

I want to see blood, everywhere blood

PAINT THE WORLD RED

He would want it like that

I must make him proud to call me his Harley Quinn

They only see me smiling on the outside

What they don’t know is that I’m not always smiling on the inside

I cry black tears, but I bleed red blood

What am I?

A FREAK?

The voices keep telling me things

They fight with each other and with me

A big tug-of-war

I am she, she is me, she is also me, he is he, but she is not she and I am not he

My core feels like it’s gonna EXPLODE

Something is there that has not been there before but has existed there and hasn’t been back in quite a while

Hardly anyone understands this pain and SUFFERING

A string has been tied to my limbs

Most people don’t have “the potential”

How could they?

They’re 100% SANE

They can’t know the feeling of not knowing if one’s self is a pawn, that the weight of the air is TORTURE, that no matter how hard you bang against the white padded walls, you can’t escpe, especially when you realize your arms are in a fucking STRAITJACKET

So much a curse as it is a gift

Insanity is the only true clarity

What happens when two come together and the mentality of one is questioned by the other?

I mean this both ways

What if one was a bit overwhelmed or surprised by the extreme and compulsive obsessiveness of the other, and in that reaction, the other in turn was beginning to worry that she was the more psychotic?

What if she secretly hoped that HE would happen to be the more insane and unstable one?

What if she wanted to be shown up by more psychotic and hellish ideas than the ones she forms in her mind everyday?

What if, for a change, she could actually be UNDERSTOOD?

She only ever wanted to find her match, her perfect soul to share, her Mr. J

She knew he would be perfect in all his imperfections

There would be pain , would be hurt; she knew that

And within the abuse and psychosis and chaos that…

THAT’S where she finds love

This may seem to the sane a most bizarre method of finding their one and only

Then again, she isn’t exactly the definition of “normal” or “sane”

All she ever wanted was to find HIM

Love HIM

Share insanity with HIM

Learn from HIM

Spread chaos with HIM

But ultimately?

To have him be able to know, understand, and warp her thoughts

The sad fact?

She would let it happen

To butt out the auto-pilot and let him CONTROL

There’s no escaping what’s inside you

I learned that when I let IT take over

Not only is hell in my mind, it’s everywhere I go

Reality chooses to ignore it, but I know it’s there

It’s ALWAYS there, whether you choose to believe it or not

If you have IT, then you see it

That’s why so many people are oblivious, the sane ones

They’re disgusting

So stupidly ignorant and blinded to the fact that is staring right into their dumbass eyeballs!!!

And yet, they’ll never be able to know because their brains prevent it from happening

It makes it so much more satisfying to smash their skulls or pump their guts with lead

You see, IT chooses you before you’re even born

All you have to do is find it and ACCEPT IT INTO YOUR BEING

But when you think there must be someone, ANYONE, out there who’s just like you, you’re always brough back to

ISOLATION

As as it suggests, it gets...so...lonely

Sure, you’re separated from the rest of the world

The only true world is in your head

Reality is just a buncha fakers

But your mind is also separated

At first, it’s interesting, messing with your psyche...until it begins to TORTURE you

Especially when no one knows but you, it’s hard

REAL. FUCKING. HARD.

No one to turn to...THAT, my dear risky reader, is true hell

HELL HELL!!!

And there’s no escape

Not for anyone

Not even to your nearest loved one…

It hurts

I hurt

And they keep screaming at me from inside

HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL

[crypticpawpoems]

A Rambling

What is wrong with me?

The strain on my brain is starting to be unbearable

My life is one, sick, twisted game

I feel the longing and desire

I want to see blood, everywhere blood

PAINT THE WORLD RED

He would want it like that

I must make him proud to call me his Harley Quinn

They only see me smiling on the outside

What they don’t know is that I’m not always smiling on the inside

I cry black tears, but I bleed red blood

What am I?

A FREAK?

The voices keep telling me things

They fight with each other and with me

A big tug-of-war

I am she, she is me, she is also me, he is he, but she is not she and I am not he

My core feels like it’s gonna EXPLODE

Something is there that has not been there before but has existed there and hasn’t been back in quite a while

Hardly anyone understands this pain and SUFFERING

A string has been tied to my limbs

Most people don’t have “the potential”

How could they?

They’re 100% SANE

They can’t know the feeling of not knowing if one’s self is a pawn, that the weight of the air is TORTURE, that no matter how hard you bang against the white padded walls, you can’t escpe, especially when you realize your arms are in a fucking STRAITJACKET

So much a curse as it is a gift

Insanity is the only true clarity

What happens when two come together and the mentality of one is questioned by the other?

I mean this both ways

What if one was a bit overwhelmed or surprised by the extreme and compulsive obsessiveness of the other, and in that reaction, the other in turn was beginning to worry that she was the more psychotic?

What if she secretly hoped that HE would happen to be the more insane and unstable one?

What if she wanted to be shown up by more psychotic and hellish ideas than the ones she forms in her mind everyday?

What if, for a change, she could actually be UNDERSTOOD?

She only ever wanted to find her match, her perfect soul to share, her Mr. J

She knew he would be perfect in all his imperfections

There would be pain , would be hurt; she knew that

And within the abuse and psychosis and chaos that…

THAT’S where she finds love

This may seem to the sane a most bizarre method of finding their one and only

Then again, she isn’t exactly the definition of “normal” or “sane”

All she ever wanted was to find HIM

Love HIM

Share insanity with HIM

Learn from HIM

Spread chaos with HIM

But ultimately?

To have him be able to know, understand, and warp her thoughts

The sad fact?

She would let it happen

To butt out the auto-pilot and let him CONTROL

There’s no escaping what’s inside you

I learned that when I let IT take over

Not only is hell in my mind, it’s everywhere I go

Reality chooses to ignore it, but I know it’s there

It’s ALWAYS there, whether you choose to believe it or not

If you have IT, then you see it

That’s why so many people are oblivious, the sane ones

They’re disgusting

So stupidly ignorant and blinded to the fact that is staring right into their dumbass eyeballs!!!

And yet, they’ll never be able to know because their brains prevent it from happening

It makes it so much more satisfying to smash their skulls or pump their guts with lead

You see, IT chooses you before you’re even born

All you have to do is find it and ACCEPT IT INTO YOUR BEING

But when you think there must be someone, ANYONE, out there who’s just like you, you’re always brough back to

ISOLATION

As as it suggests, it gets...so...lonely

Sure, you’re separated from the rest of the world

The only true world is in your head

Reality is just a buncha fakers

But your mind is also separated

At first, it’s interesting, messing with your psyche...until it begins to TORTURE you

Especially when no one knows but you, it’s hard

REAL. FUCKING. HARD.

No one to turn to...THAT, my dear risky reader, is true hell

HELL HELL!!!

And there’s no escape

Not for anyone

Not even to your nearest loved one…

It hurts

I hurt

And they keep screaming at me from inside

HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Become Part of The Pack on the Official Cryptic Paw website, YouTube, and Patreon!

[sophieinwonderland]

To a certain extent in syscourse, arguing semantics about what is and is not possible internally (something that can not be known in the scientific meaning of known, as there's no way to actually objectively measure these things) is incredibly pointless.

However more pressing imo is the confirmation bias running rampant. It doesn't matter what information someone is presented with, if they have decided what they think the truth is, they're going to see everything you give them through that lens. You can't magically make someone think a different way, think about it from your perspective. (Not YOU you, general you.)

So for every anti-endo who is presented with endogenic study will be seeing it through the lens that they beleive endos are fake. To them the study means nothing bc it's either ppl w did who don't know it or fakers, no in between. And on the flip side, proving a negitive (endos don't exist, for example) is completely pointless, again, because there's no actual objective measure of such.

Humans are very very predisposed to "weird" behaviour, even if they pretend not to be. The most normal person you can think of has thoughts and behaviors that may seem bizarre to you or me. There is no measure of "normal" that can be objectively quantified. There is only what harms an individual and their life, the people around them, etc, which is what needs treatment. Having alters itself is not a disorder, but it can cause disorder in life due to amnesia barriers, alters acting destructive or unlawfully, identity confusion causing various issues, etc etc. Which are all things that are addressed separately from them being alters. Wether treatment involved getting them therapy or fusing, convincing yourself they aren't real, or learning to live with them and address trauma and behavious caused by surviving trauma together.

This is of course predicated on therapists and psychiatrists being able to set aside their predisposed notions of "normal" to help people on the individual level. Which is a whole other can of worms, and why many survivors of psychiatric abuse outright reject the medical systems that hurt them. This is a seprate issue from "fakers" and endos being somehow misrepresentitive of a disorder they do not claim to have. That's a societal and institutional problem that can't be won easily one on one.

Anti-endos and sysmedicalists may feel helpless to the whims of these institutions, and they very often are and there very often is not good enough care, and potentially even abuse. People who are subjected to feeling less than human by others often lash out in an attempt to feel like they have any control in their lives. Imo antis lashing out against endos, tulpas and other forms of non-disordered plurality are doing just that, seeking some way to control the narrative of their life that has continually made them feel like they aren't in control.

In the end, all this arguing does NOTHING to help anyone. You can not find peace in trying to tear others down.

Sorry for sending this in your inbox, Sophie, but I am far too unequipped to deal with potential lashback from people who miss my point, personally. We should be working together to find new understanding, instead of tearing eachother down.

.

[benito-flakes]

Hi M & M, how are you all? We have a question - how do you deal with anti-endo sentiments on here? We recently decided to start openly as plural on here, and since we're a spiritpartner to a traumagenic system (as in, we're a Norse pagan and one of our deities present themselves as a system) and we wanted to write something on us meeting their alters in headspace, so we browsed the traumagenic posts - BIG MISTAKE. It was full of gatekeeping and toxicity for endogenics, saying people like us were doing it fun, not real systems. We aren't! The different facets of us were always there, but we've only just put faces to them - and we consider ourselves mixed origin (to put it as vaguely as possible, we think we have trauma from living in a deeply ableist world.) So it made us feel deeply uncomfortable at the traumagenic community, since it just seemed... overly aggressive? Like, "you can't be a system because you're not traumagenic!" and no explaining the reasons why?

Hi Anon! Sorry for taking so long to reply!

The way I personally handle syscourse, and the often quite vile discourse that results is to understand the sysmed point of view. That doesn't mean that I agree with them, but I try and put myself in their shoes:

Many of them seemingly do not have personal experience being a non-traumagenic system, many remain and interact in sysmed spaces where the existence of any type of system other than trauma-formed is viewed as a taboo. This likely feeds into a loop of close-mindedness, especially when viewing those they deem to be fakers.

When seeing something that doesn't align with a pre-existing definition of what that thing "should" be like, it's natural to be skeptical, to not understand, and even to doubt, but in no way does that justify the harassment, bullying, and identity-policing endogenic systems are subject to by anti-endogenics.

In an ideal world, all skeptics would research, talk to actual endogenic systems, and refrain from blatant attacks, but sadly, that just isn't the case. I try and remember that the person arguing with me online has their own views and struggles, their own individuality, and that to them, my opinion feels just as bad as how theirs feels directed towards me. It still sucks, and it probably always will, but remembering the being behind the screen helps me to remain civil and understanding, even in the face of disagreements.

Of course, if someone violates my boundaries, comes off as overly confrontational, or harasses me, I'm not going to passively allow it to go down, and you definitely don't have to stand for it, either. Boundaries are key, especially online, and especially in a triggering situation that discourse like this can be. You come first, and if debating someone online is hurting you, step back and disengage.

Hope my explanation helped! Again, sorry for such a late response!

-Ben Levine, M&M

[pan-fangirl-345]

Hidden Panthers

Summary: Soulmarks aren't rare, and neither are soulmates, but what is rare, is a person who doesn't want to meet their soulmate, but Toho Academy has two.

Or: Five times Aomine was curious about your tattoo, and one time he saw it.

TW: a small amount of angst, I suppose one part might be comparable to a panic attack, and some swearing, but I promise it's mostly fluff.

A/N: I had an idea! Since I have no requests currently in my inbox, I thought I would jot it down before I forgot about it.

1.

"You guys do realize that you should be practicing, right?" you asked when you walked into the gym and the boys were all shirtless, showing off their soulmarks.

"They're trying to prove who's is the biggest," Momoi informed you, making you snort.

You were almost one hundred percent certain that you had them all beat, except for maybe Aomine.

Your soulmark was a special image somewhere on your body, and animal, a place, something like that. They were colorful, and looked like tattoos.

The mark on your body corresponded with the one on your soulmate's body.

You knew that Aomine had your matching tattoo, not that he knew that, and that was okay.

The black ink of his tattoo was stark against his tan skin, but you knew that he wasn't showing it off with pride, it was him just proving a point.

Top dog on the team, biggest soulmark, he was unbeatable.

Aomine had made it clear that he didn't appreciate the thought of soulmates, that he was fine with not knowing who they were, not knowing who you were, in your case.

"What's yours (Y/L/N)-kun?" one of the boys asked and you snorted, a hand flying to cover your mouth, sometimes you hated hanging around teenage boys all the time, it made your mind go to weird places sometimes.

"Sorry boys, you don't want to see my mark, trust me," you muttered, touching your shoulder softly.

Aomine's eyes were on you, burning a hole through your body, but you ignored him.

"What is it?"

"None ah," you said.

"None ah?"

"None ah ya business," you replied, dropping your bag by the bench.

The boys peeled off into laughter, and Momoi gave a small giggle.

You smiled softly, tugging your sweatshirt off.

The boys were getting to practice, though Aomine was still watching you, watching you with those startling blue eyes.

"Are you going to practice or are you going to just stare at me like a creep?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Nah," he muttered, moving to head out the door, but you moved in front of him.

"Nope, you're here," you told him, throwing your arms out. "If you're here, you're practicing, even if that means you have to practice with me."

Aomine squinted at you, and you were 99% certain that he was going to try and shove you out of the way, but he sighed, heading back to work in drills with the other boys.

Momoi was watching you, eyes glinting in the way they did when she watching a game and her data was proved correct.

"Momoi-san," you said, "why are you looking at me like that?"

"It's just a hunch," she murmured, wandering off to watch Aomine play.

You frowned after her, wondering what the hell she was talking about, but you shook it off.

Those two were weirdos.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2.

"So, (Y/L/N), what's your soulmark?" one of your friends asked, and you sighed.

"It's nothing all that impressive," you lied, flipping the page of the textbook you were skimming through.

"But what is it?" she persisted.

"A pain in my ass," you muttered, touching your shoulder lightly again.

"(Y/L/N)-kun," one of your classmates said, "one of the basketball boys is waiting for you outside."

"Thanks," you replied, gathering your stuff up.

You were a back-up manager for when Momoi was away watching other teams play.

You were surprised to find Aomine leaning up against the doorframe, practice clothes on.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey yourself. Are you actually going to practice again?" you asked, hauling your bag over your shoulder, wincing at the weight.

He made a small noise, which made you think that that was his version of a yes.

"Why don't you show off your mark?" Aomine asked.

"Why don't you?" you replied, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Soulmates are bullshit," he muttered. "I don't like being told what to do. I hate being told who to love even more."

"My soulmate doesn't want me," you admitted after a moment of walking, readjusting your bag on your shoulders. "No point in showing off something that symbolizes someone who hates that I even exist."

Aomine paused, running his eyes over you again, and you glanced back at him.

"What?"

He didn't answer, he just stood there watching you. He had been doing that a lot, and you were a little worried about it.

"Are you coming or what?" you asked, heading for the gym.

He followed behind you, eyes boring into your back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3.

"What's your soulmark?" Aomine asked.

You had gone to the roof to tell him to get his ass to practice. He had been coming more and more often, but he had been staring at you for most of it, despite urging from both you and Momoi to actually practice.

"Nothing important, not like you practicing," you deflected, standing in front of him with your arms crossed.

"Snippy," he quipped. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

"Perv," you muttered. "And I've already seen your mark."

"Yours is on your shoulders, right?" he asked. "You keep touching them whenever someone brings them up."

"Yeah, it's a pretty big one," you admitted, reaching to touch your shoulder absentmindedly before you registered that you were doing it. You dropped your hands to your sides again, frowning.

Despite the fact that you already knew your soulmate, and how he felt about the whole thing, the mark was still comforting to a degree.

Aomine was still watching you, he had been doing it a lot, though you weren't entirely sure why. Every time he did, it jump started your heart, making you wonder if he knew.

He made a small noise, then dragged himself to his feet.

"Gotta go to practice," he mumbled, bumping shoulders with you as he headed down to the gym.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4.

Aomine started appearing more and more after that. He wasn't following you exactly, but it was almost like your schedules had overlapped.

Then you had gotten assigned to do a group project together.

"Nice place," he muttered when he walked through the door into your home.

"Thanks," you said, shutting the door. "I'm telling you this right now, Aomine, I am not doing this entire project by myself, and if I do end up doing it by myself, you are not getting your name put on this. Do you understand me?"

"Yes ma'am," he muttered. "Do you have any bread?"

"What?" you asked, then you remembered his weird carb obsession. "Uh, yeah, just . . . give me a minute," you said, setting your things down on the couch before you headed into the kitchen.

Snacks were something you could do.

You got him a drink too, and when you set a plate and a drink down in front of him, he glanced up at you appreciatively.

"Thanks," he said.

"No problem," you told him, sitting beside him on the couch.

"What are we doing the project on?" he asked.

"I have no idea," you muttered. "It would be easy to do a keynote or something, but there are going to be so many people doing that."

You pulled the project requirements out of your bag, your eyes flitting over it.

"What if we did like a . . . a soulmark examination?" you asked. "We were reading a book about how people think soulmarks mean something to the pair that share it instead of simply being an indicator, right? All we would have to do it take a picture of one of our soulmarks and make up some sort of metaphorical bullshit and make it look pretty when we present it."

"We should do yours," Aomine immediately suggested.

"Why mine?" you asked, panic starting to float into your veins.

"Because I want to know what it is," he replied, grinning at you.

"How about we do yours? You have your own fan club and I'm sure they'd be ecstatic to know what it is. Besides, yours is easier to do than mine," you told him.

"How so?"

"Mine is across my back," you informed him. "That means that I would have to take off my shirt and my bra for us to get a picture, and there are so many things that could go wrong with that. Besides, it's not like anyone in the class hasn't seen your back already, it's not new information."

"Fair enough," Aomine said. "But, when I get fakers pretending to be my soulmate, you have to be the one to fight them off."

"Deal," you said, holding your hand out to him.

He took it, shaking it firmly once, before he tugged his shirt over his head.

"Let's get this over with," he muttered, curling his shoulders forward so that you could get a clear picture of the black panther lounging across his shoulders like it was a tree branch.

You snapped a couple photos from different angles, and resisted the urge to touch it.

It was the same as yours, and you wondered vaguely if you had ever found your tattoo as beautiful as you found Aomine's.

"We good?" Aomine asked.

"Yeah, we're good," you croaked, then cleared your throat as he pulled his shirt over his head again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5.

Your project had gotten a great grade, and you were both proud of it, but now Aomine seemed to be hellbent on figuring out what your mark was.

"Just show me!" he'd whined.

He'd been up on the roof again, and you had been charged with getting him off the roof and down to practice.

"No, Aomine. Now get off your ass and get down to practice," you told him, arms crossed.

You had been in this position for the past couple of weeks, and it was almost routine now.

"I won't even be a dick about it," he had promised you, his eyes looking almost sincere as he pleaded with you. Almost.

Aomine, you had learned, had adopted you as a friend, in the last few weeks of being stuck around him.

You and Momoi had started walking to class together, and Aomine had started trailing behind like a lazy guard dog, much to the chagrin of Momoi's many suitors.

"He really likes you," Momoi said one morning.

"Oh yeah?" you asked, chuckling.

"He hasn't liked someone like this in a while," Momoi told you. "He's a long time basketball junkie, so seeing him take an interest in someone that doesn't have much of a connection to the game is a relief to me."

"Momoi, I thought we agreed that you wouldn't profile me," you told her, giving her a small smile.

"I can't help it," she whined, taking a hold of your arm. "You have to tell him (Y/F/N)!"

"Sorry Momoi-san, I can't do that," you replied. "He doesn't want that."

"How do you know if you won't tell him?" she asked, pouting.

"Momoi-san, he's made his stance on soulmates exceedingly clear, and he likes me now because he doesn't know. I want it to stay that way. I'd rather be a friend than anything else. Besides, he doesn't like me like that," you informed her.

"I've been friends with him since we were kids," she said, glancing at you with those eyes. "I think I know when he's interested in a girl."

You snorted, but your conversation tapered off when Aomine joined you again.

"Seriously, what the hell is your soulmark?" Aomine demanded. "I have asked literally everyone I can think of that might know. No one in this entire fucking school seems to know what it is."

"Sorry Aomine," you said, slipping into your classroom, throwing a grin over your shoulder at him. "A girl needs to keep her secrets, besides, you aren't the only one with a soulmark thing."

His growl resonated into the classroom and you chuckled lightly as you sat down at your desk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

+1

Of course, the one time the teams tries to do some team bonding they chose to go to the fucking beach.

Of course, Aomine had also been the one to suggest the beach. The others thought it was because he wanted to see girls in bikini's, but he had glanced at you and winked.

He wanted to see what your mark was.

"I hate you," you snarled, cornering him, before he left for his house. "You scheming son of a bitch."

"Such vulgar words," he teased, giving you a dark look. "And I have no idea what I could've done to make you hate me, baby girl."

"You know exactly what you did," you growled, ignoring the pet name. "The whole beach thing was your idea."

He grinned, and you suddenly understood why your mark was a panther.

Something flashed through you, and your let your own grin show through.

"You want to play games Aomine-kun?" you teased, keeping eye contact with him. "Fine, then let's play."

"What do I get if I win?" he asked.

"You'll have to choose that for yourself, if you win," you told him, storming out of the doors.

When the day came to go to the beach, nothing was out of the ordinary, save that the boys had decided that one of them had to be with you and Momoi at all times.

"You guys don't need to babysit us," you chided when you climbed onto the bus. "We tend to stick together anyway, and pervs, unless they're in groups, tend to pick the girl that splits away from the pack. Momoi-san and I can stick together and reduce the risk. This is more for you guys than it is for us anyway."

"Yeah, we don't need a guard dog," Momoi agreed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'll stay with them," Aomine offered, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and Momoi's, and you rolled your eyes.

"You just want to know what my soulmark is," you told him, glancing up at him.

"Wait," Sakurai murmured, "even Aomine doesn't know what your soulmark is?"

"Nope," you said, popping the 'p'. "He's been trying to figure it out for weeks now. That's why he suggested going to the beach."

"You clever son of a bitch," the captain said, and you shrugged.

"He and I have a small little wager going," you admitted, shrugging his arm off your shoulders. "If I can keep my soulmark hidden from him for the whole day today, he drops it."

"And if he wins?"

"She's being cryptic about that," Aomine said, and his eye twitched lightly.

"If he sees it, he can decide what he gets for winning," you told them. "He'll understand if he sees it."

And so the game began.

"Are you going swimming, (Y/F/N)?" Momoi asked you.

"Are you?" you asked her.

"No, I want to work on my tan," she admitted, waving a small bottle of tanning lotion.

"Then I'll stay with you. I have some reading I need to catch up on anyway. Besides, I want the sunscreen to sink in, I burn easily," you admitted, having applied it as soon as you got to the beach.

You were wearing a one-piece bathing suit (since it was harder for something to happen with one on), but you had thrown a thin white crop top on over it to cover your shoulders.

After Momoi asked you to get her back, you settled onto your towel, pulling your assigned literature book out of your bag, finding your page.

"Seriously, why don't you just show us what the damn thing is?" Aomine asked, settling down next to you forcefully.

"Because it's a part of my body, meaning I can show it off when I want, or cover it up when I want. Besides, I told you earlier, my soulmate doesn't want me," you said, flipping your page leisurely. "Don't need them hating me more than they already do without knowing my identity."

Aomine was clearly displeased, but it wasn't like he could argue with you about it, soulmarks were a very personal thing to some people.

"You're at the beach," he began a few minutes later, tone incredulous, "and you're reading a book. What is wrong with you?"

"A lot, which issue are you referring to?" you asked nonchalantly before he scowled at you. "I don't feel like going into the water," you told him, glaring at him over your sunglasses. "I have work to do, and this is a good time to catch up on it. Besides, shouldn't you be with the rest of the team? This was for you guys."

Aomine scowled, but stood up, heading for where the team was playing a game of beach volleyball. Or, they were attempting, none of them seemed to be having much luck with it.

"You know, not very many people can keep Dai-chan at bay as much as you're able to," Momoi said, making you snort.

"You just have to know how to deal with it. You can do it."

"But not for long, and not once he makes up his mind about something. You've kept him at bay for months, I've never been able to do that. My top score is a week."

"Does it bother you?" you asked quietly.

"No, not at all," she said, a little too quickly. "Okay, well, it bothers me a little. I've known him since we were kids, and you can handle him better than I can just after a few months, but I know why."

"Honestly Momoi, I don't think it's because we're soulmates, because he doesn't know. I think it's just I refuse to let him win at all."

"You two are definitely two of the most stubborn people I have ever met," she agreed, rolling over onto her stomach.

"I'm not sure whether that's a compliment or not," you muttered.

Momoi giggled and you smiled. It was nice, hanging out with her. It was nice to have a female friend.

"I'm a little peckish, do you want a pretzel or something from the concessions thing?" you asked, gesturing to the snack shack type thing that they had set up a few meters away.

"No, I'm all set, thank you though," she said.

"Alright, just thought I'd ask," you told her, standing up, wiping sand off your legs as you headed over with your wallet.

You dodged a pair of kids that looked like twins, who were trying to splash each other with water, and you laughed as one of them tackled the other.

"Idiot, you can't just wander off," Aomine chided as he sidled up next to you.

"I didn't," you pointed out. "I told Momoi where I was going."

Aomine frowned, glaring at a guy that stepped too close for his comfort.

"The point of this trip was so that the team could bond," you told him, "so that means that you should be over there with the team."

"You're a part of the team too right?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow at you.

"Technically, yes, but I'm talking about the part of the team that plays on the court. I just tend to make sure that your ass shows up."

You glanced at Aomine, who was frowning.

"Out with it," you demanded, glancing around as you walked to make sure neither of you bumped into anyone.

"Does your mark make you uncomfortable?" he asked, carefully choosing his words.

"No," you admitted. "It's comforting actually, but there's no point in showing it off. Besides, it makes my back really hot when I'm out in the sun. That makes me uncomfortable."

You placed your order, which consisted of a fruity drink on ice and a small snack that would hold you over until lunch.

"What have you eaten today?" he asked.

"Nothing. I had coffee this morning and then left the house. I don't normally eat breakfast," you told Aomine.

"How are you alive?"

"Have you taken health classes?"

"Not what I meant, asshole," he snapped. "You're gonna run yourself into the ground."

"Aomine, I'm fine," you assured him. "Besides, I'm drinking plenty of fluids."

He frowned, but he seemed to realize it was useless to argue with you about it.

"Go back to the team, Aomine, I'm fine," you told him, shoving him towards where the boys were sitting in the sand.

You tossed your snack wrapper in a garbage can that was placed strategically, glad for the little bit of food in your stomach.

But then the kids ran by again, and one of them got you instead of their brother.

"Sorry!" he called, darting away.

Normally you wouldn't have minded, the water felt nice against your skin, but you knew that your cover-up would start to be see through, and with the breeze blowing off the water, it was sticking to your back.

You sighed, slipping it over your head as you headed for your towel.

After drying your shoulders off, you set your shirt out to dry, then began rooting around in your bag for your backup, before remembering that you had forgotten to put it in your bag before you left.

"Fuck," you muttered, glancing at where Aomine and the other boys were chatting.

You supposed that it was fine for now, but you would have to be careful if they came back over.

"Momoi, please, for the sake of our friendship, you can't say anything to the boys about this," you said when she looked over and saw your back.

"Why are you so worried about him finding out?" she asked, carefully running a hand over your back, tracing the lines of the mark.

"Because, he might be a dick, but he's a friend, and I don't want to lose that friendship because of some dumb cosmic presence that decided we were meant for one another."

"Do you love him?" she inquired.

You licked your lips, then pursed them.

"Do you love him?" she repeated.

You waited for a few moments before you confessed, "I might. Whether it's love or a crush, I can't say for sure."

She sucked in a breath.

"What?" you asked.

"You know that he likes you back, right?" she asked quietly. "You know that it has nothing to do with the Mark. It's not like he's seen it and knows that you're the woman he's going to marry."

"He'll hate me if he finds out."

"No, he won't."

"I think he will."

"How long are you going to keep this from him?" she demanded. "He at least deserves to know that you're an option!"

"I'll wait until he's married if I have to," you snapped, making her rear back. "Satsuki, in the end, this is my choice to make, and I've made it. He can't know."

"It's his decision too," she reminded you. "This isn't a one way street!"

"Right now, it is," you snarled. Then you softened your tone. "If I'm ever put in a situation where he finds out, I will let him make his own decision, but right now, it's my decision, the ball is in my court so to speak, and this is the move I'm making."

"I think it's the wrong move," she whispered.

"Luckily, it's not your move to make," you replied. "I don't mean to be cruel, Satsuki. I want him to be happy. I just don't think that he'd be happy with . . . me."

"How are you so sure?" she demanded, looking close to tears. "How are you so sure that knowing you're his soulmate would make him miserable? Why can't you accept the possibility that maybe him knowing would make him love you even more?"

You remembered all the times he had raved to you about how soulmates were bullshit. You remembered every vehement denial that he wanted to know who his soulmate was. Every venomous word and the pure hatred in his eyes.

If he looked like that just because of the idea, how would he react to the real thing? Something physical he could take his anger out on?

You highly doubted that Aomine would ever physically hurt you, but the idea still sent a shiver up your spine, despite the warm weather.

"Call it a gut feeling," you murmured, wrapping your arms around yourself.

"I just want you both to be happy," she whispered.

"I can't speak for him," you told her, "but I'm content with the way things are right now."

"Content and happy aren't always the same thing," she argued.

Something in your eyes must've told her that you weren't in the mood, because she sighed, going back to her tanning.

You laid on your back, trying to think of ways to hide the mark, but it took up the entire expanse of your shoulder blades, there was no way to hide it unless it was completely covered with a shirt or you laid on it.

"Momoi-san, (Y/L/N)-san, do you wanna come play two truths and a lie with us?" Sakurai asked.

"Sure, I would love to," Momoi said.

"What about you?"

You paused, thinking it over, before you grabbed your shirt, throwing it over your head after beating most of the sand out of it, making sure that no one saw it.

It wouldn't do much, you didn't think, but it would make you feel better all the same.

"Okay," you murmured, wandering over to fit in the circle with the boys.

They had decided that the person to their right was going to have to guess which was the lie, and you despaired to find that Aomine was on your right.

"Since the girls have now decided to join, new score," the captain said and you winced.

"Ladies first," Aomine said, giving you one of those glances that made you want to kiss him and punch him at the same time.

You decided to find a good compromise and you pinched his arm, hard.

"Okay," you murmured, trying to think. "One: when I was six, I popped my elbow out of my socket throwing a tantrum. Two: I have more than five dresses in my closet. Three: my music selection has a disturbing amount of love songs."

The others started whispering amongst themselves, and Aomine squinted at you.

"Number two has to be the lie. I've seen your music selection, and you mentioned the arm injury when you first became the manager," Aomine declared confidently.

"Wrong," you told him, grinning. "I have six dresses in my closet. I wasn't throwing a tantrum when I popped my elbow out of my socket. I fell off the monkey bars at the park."

Aomine glowered at you, and you laughed.

"You're just shitty at paying attention."

The boys were surprisingly bad at this game, either that or you were just good at guessing when someone was lying.

"One: I hate cherry lip gloss. Two: I can play the guitar. Three: I've never had a celebrity crush."

"Every girl has a celebrity crush," Aomine muttered, but then glanced back at you, frowning. "I say one is the lie."

"Nope! I can't play the guitar. I was taking lessons until I was eleven but I can't remember any of it."

"Wow, despite how much time you guys spend together, you really don't know much about her, do you Aomine?"

"Shut up," he mumbled, cheeks flushing.

Momoi, who was situated on your left, seemed to be very concerned with how good you were at guessing hers.

"That's the sixth one in a row that you've guessed right!" Satsuki cried, and you laughed.

"Sorry Momoi-san, but you're just very transparent and I'm too competitive to lose."

Aomine hadn't managed to guess any of yours, and you could feel him simmering beside you.

"Alright, since Aomine sucks at this, and (Y/F/N) is simply too good, let's change it up a little."

Suddenly, they were all going against you.

"I take it back, we all suck at this," Imayoshi muttered a few rounds later when they had yet to get one right.

"Sorry guys, I'm just good at hiding things," you said. "Remember, I've been hiding my soulmark from you all since the beginning of the year."

"That's it!" Satsuki cried, pointing at you, making you jerk towards Aomine to get away from her. "If we can get one right, just one, then you have to show us your soulmark!"

You wanted to decline, you wanted to act your way out of it, you knew what would happen if you lost, but that glint in her eyes made you want to prove her wrong.

"Deal," you told her.

"Okay, think about your answers carefully," Aomine said.

"Shouldn't they be saying that to you?" you asked him as you thought of something to say.

After listening to the ocean for a moment, you said, "One: I sleep like a baby during thunderstorms. Two: snapping turtles scare me to death. Three: I have a college age reading level."

Everyone started deliberating, and you smiled, leaning back, soaking in the sun.

"We have an answer," Imayoshi said, and you cracked open an eye.

"Shoot," you told them, sitting up.

"It's number two," he said.

The blood drained from your face.

You knew that they had taken a wild guess, but you hadn't expected them to get it right.

You took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and nodded, not trusting your voice.

You took another steadying breath as you stood up, brushing yourself off, trying to control the shaking in your hands that was slowly spreading up your arms.

You vaguely heard Imayoshi telling you that you didn't have to, that you had the right to say no.

You wanted to take the out he was giving you. You wanted to act your way out of it, you wanted to try and run, and you wanted to tell them that you backed out but . . . .

But you had been keeping this to yourself for a very long time. And you wanted to know sooner rather than later whether Satsuki was right or not. You wanted to know whether this was as terrible as your mind was making it out to be.

You got a firm grip on your shirt, and you were about to lift it off, but suddenly Aomine was in front of you, his hands covering yours as he stared you down.

His eyes were boring into yours, and his hands were firm, but gentle, in their grip.

He was telling you that you didn't have to, that as much as he pried, he wasn't going to let you feel pressured into doing this.

You stared at each other for what felt like an eternity before you shook your head, lips pressed together in a hard line.

"You deserve to know," you whispered, barely able to keep your voice from shaking.

Aomine nodded, slowly moving his hands, before he settled back down where he had been.

You took one last, steadying breath, turning your back to your team.

You tugged the shirt over your head, pulling the straps of your suit to the side so that they could see the expanse of the mark across your back.

Your entire team was silent as they realized what they were seeing.

"Holy shit," someone breathed, though you weren't sure who it was.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, though you weren't entirely sure who you were apologizing to.

Momoi was suddenly in front of you, pulling the straps of your bathing suit back up.

"(Y/F/N), you're shaking," she murmured.

"I know," you told her.

"He's gone," she informed you, and you collapsed into the sand, letting out a shaky breath you hadn't known you were holding.

"How pissed with me is he?" you asked her.

"I-I don't know," she confessed. "I've . . . I've never not been able to read him. He . . . he was completely blank. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," you murmured, staring at the sand in front of you. "I should have taken the out. I should have stayed home. I knew what he was trying to do. I knew that you wanted me to tell him. I knew how he would react. And a small, foolish part of me dared to hope that I was wrong. A small, naive, stupid, masochistic part of me believed that it wouldn't matter. I should know by now that I'm rarely wrong about this kind of thing."

"But I know him!" Satsuki said, looking close to tears. "I know how he looks at you! I see the little things! I don't why he . . . ."

"Don't worry about it Satsuki," you told her, standing up, turning to your team. "Sorry guys."

You headed for your spot, gathering up your things, making sure that you had everything that you had come with, just to give yourself something to focus on.

"Are you going to be okay?" Sakurai asked.

You saw that the whole team, save one member, was standing there in various states of shock, anger, and something akin to pity.

"I knew it would happen eventually," you murmured, then told them, "I'll survive. I'll be myself at practice on Monday, promise. Have a good rest of your weekend guys."

You dug your phone out of your pocket when you were far enough away from the team.

"Hello?"

"Taiga, hey, can you come pick me up?" you asked. "Something went down with Aomine."

"I'm on my way," he said. "Hold tight. Wait, where are you?"

You sent him your location, heading for the parking lot.

By the time Kagami actually found you, you were pretty sure you had cried yourself out.

You didn't remember crying, but Kagami had taken one look at you and wiped at your cheeks.

You had gone with Aomine when he had challenged Kagami at the street court, and you had stayed in touch with the red-head slowly becoming friends with each other.

He knew about your mark as well, though he had promised to keep it to himself. He hadn't told Kuroko either, which surprised you.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"He knows," you admitted, letting him wrap an arm around your shoulders. "He saw it."

As you explained what happened, Kagami got quieter and quieter, and when you glanced at his face, you were surprised to see a serious amount of anger on his face.

"Taiga?" you asked quietly.

"I'll murder him," Kagami growled. "He's such a fuckin'-!"

"You don't have to murder him," you told the red-head, who looked shocked at your response.

"But-!"

"No, I knew it was going to happen. I knew that I would lose him, I was just trying to hold on for a little longer. He hasn't done anything wrong," you said. "I guess that means that I don't have to hide it anymore."

"He's an idiot," Kagami declared.

"I already knew that though."

"Did he even explain himself to you?"

"No. But he doesn't need to. I already know that he doesn't want me. I knew when he started pawing around about my mark. I knew, but I didn't stop him. I led myself to this point."

"Stop taking responsibility for him being a dick!" Kagami snapped. "Do you realize how many people would kill to have you as a soulmate? Or to have one like you?"

"That's not the point!" you told him. "The point is that the one person I want to want me as a soulmate, doesn't. And there's nothing I can do to fix that! Because he seemed to like me just fine thinking I wasn't anything special to him, but the moment fate steps in, I'm fucked. So unless there's a way to pretend like this mark isn't a permanent reminder that the guy that's supposed to be perfect for me, hates my guts, then I guess this is my life now!"

"Kuroko is so much better at this than I am," Kagami muttered to himself. "Look, have you tried calling him?"

"He made it pretty clear that he wanted nothing to do with me."

"Try it anyway."

"I think I'm good. My heart's been broken enough today, thanks."

"Seriously, this is fucking insane," Kagami stressed, opening a door for you. "From what I've seen, your the one person he actually listens to and hears."

"Because he didn't know what I was! I took advantage of that, and now I'm paying the price for it. I should have just told him and dealt with the consequences when I didn't want him! Now it hurts that much more and I have to watch us go back to being strangers. Maybe I should just transfer."

"Um, (Y/F/N)," Kagami said, tapping your shoulder.

"No, I'm serious! Why torture the team with our angst when I can just move schools? There are plenty in the area. Maybe I could move to Seirin. My parents-"

"(Y/F/N)!" he hissed, turning your head to look at something.

"Fuck," you muttered, locking eyes with Aomine, who had his hands thrown up like he had been using them to make a point to Kuroko, who was glancing back and forth between the two of you.

Kagami dropped his hands from your face and you took the opportunity.

You turned and bolted from the Seirin gym.

You should have been paying attention. You should have made Kagami take you home, you should've asked where you were going before.

Multiple people shouted after you, but you ignored them.

You had to get away from him, you had to make sure that he didn't think you were trying to-

Do what?

You slowed down with a sudden realization. If your life had been a cartoon there would've been breaking sound effects and skid marks behind you.

Why should you care what he thought when you had walked into that gym? He didn't care anymore, not now that he knew what you were, why should you?

Fuck what he thought!

If he wanted to let you go, who gave a fuck what it seemed like? You were friends with Kagami, and by default, Kuroko.

How were you supposed to know that he would go to Kuroko after this sort of thing?

Was it really that weird, that wrong, for you to do what you had just done?

You took a deep breath, letting yourself relax. You were probably over thinking things yet again.

A street court caught your eye and you stared at it for a few moments before heading over.

Someone had left a ball there, whether from pure forgetfulness, or a trust in humanity that someone wouldn't take it.

You pushed on it, checking the air, before you dribbled it around.

You could have gotten on a team if you had wanted, but after middle school, you had had enough of the inter-team drama, and had decided to give it up. So you had managed the boys team to be close to the sport without having to deal with a lot of the drama.

You practiced with them sometimes, when Momoi was managing and you had nothing better to be doing.

You made a few lay-ups, a few foul shots, and moved onto half court shots, soaking in the sound of the ball falling through the net.

The heat of the day was soaking through your t-shirt, soaking into the mark, and you touched it lightly, wondering what you were going to do on Monday.

You had promised the team that you would be back to normal, but would you be able to fake being okay well enough to fool them? How much would it take to fool Aomine into thinking that you were okay?

"Why him?" you asked yourself, tilting your face up to the sun. "Why did it have to be him? It could have been literally anyone else, and you chose the one guy that would never be able to love me for what I am, for what we are."

A breeze rustled the trees around you and you breathed it in, moving to leave when you caught sight of him standing in the entrance of the court.

"Shit," you muttered, looking for another way out. There was no chance that he hadn't seen you, even Aomine wasn't that much of an idiot, but you were seriously considering climbing the fence to get away when he spoke.

"I'm sorry," he started.

"No, stop, I don't want your apology," you told him, wrapping your arms around yourself, not able to look at him. "You have nothing to apologize for. I knew when I made that damn deal that I was risking our friendship, I was just tired of having to hide the damn thing. You of all people realize how much of a pain in the ass it is to cover up. And now that I think about it, it's probably better that this happened now. I can't imagine how badly it would've been if I had gotten even closer to you.

"Besides, now you're free to make your own decision. Satsuki got what she wanted in the end. Go figure, I guess. Anyway, you don't have to worry about it. You won't have to worry about me doing anything now that you know. And I already told you that if you won you would get to decide what you got for winning. You won't have to deal with me after this, I promise. I'll disappear since that's what you want."

"So when you told me I got to choose, you were basically telling me that I could choose whether I wanted you or not?"

"Yeah, pretty much, and I shouldn't've. I already knew which one you were going to choose, I was just being naive."

"That's not how it works dumbass," Aomine said.

You screwed your eyes shut, turning your head away from him.

"I know," you whispered. "Why are you even here?"

"I was looking for you, obviously," he grumbled.

"Why? I already know that you don't want this, you made that abundantly clear with your stories and reactions to me at the beach. What are you trying to do here, Aomine?"

"Trying to tell you that I like you," he stated. "But you keep trying to push me away."

"Huh?" Your eyes flew open at the words, and you stared at him.

"Idiot," he murmured, walking over.

You backed up, trying to keep the distance but he backed you against the fence.

"Do you want me to be honest with you?" he asked softly.

You nodded, wondering what the hell he was doing.

"I might be in love with you, and not because you're my soulmate," he said, which made you cock your head in confusion.

"But . . . all that stuff you said about hating soulmates and not wanting to meet yours . . . ."

"I didn't think you were my soulmate moron," he murmured, reaching out to toy with your hair. "I'm okay with it being you. I'm grateful for it actually."

The look on your face must've said it all because he sighed.

"You should've told me sooner," he told you. "I want to go out with you. No secrets, no lies, no weird games where I'm trying to get you to take your clothes off."

"You had me until that last one," you muttered, taking the hand that was playing with your hair.

He laced your fingers together before you could take your hand away.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it," he told you, wrapping his other arm around your waist. "So what do you say? Go out with me?"

You watched his face as much as you could in the crappy lighting, waiting for any sign that he was joking, waiting for him to yell 'Psych!' and walk away.

But his arm stayed wrapped around your waist, and he seemed too busy watching you to question what was taking you so long.

"If I say yes, am I going to be the laughing stock of the school?" you asked.

"No, I may be a dick, but I'm not that mean," Aomine told you.

"Okay," you whispered. "Yeah, I'll go out with you."

The smile Aomine gave you could've lit the whole court.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I hope you realize that Kagami and Tetsu think we're both crazy now," Aomine said.

"They already knew," you told him, wrapping an arm around his neck. "You have to be crazy to put up with the both of them."

Aomine snorted, nudging your forehead with his.

"I'm sorry that I ran from you," he said. "I shouldn't have done that."

You waited, sensing that he had more to say, he was just gathering his thoughts.

"I don't know what I was thinking," he muttered. "I just had to get away from my own stupidity I guess. I should have guessed that I was your soulmate. You were so on edge whenever I brought it up, but when someone else brought it up it was more like you were sick of the questions. I know you enough to know that if you reacted differently to me that it was because of me. I just . . . I acted on instinct."

"You don't have to explain anything to me Aomine," you told him, burying a hand in his hair. It was softer than you had thought it would be.

"No, you deserve an explanation. I am the whole reason you're even at Seirin."

"I was at Seirin because I wanted to talk to Kagami and that was where we ended up. We could have just as easily gone to his place or to mine."

"Tetsu's been trying for years to get me into the whole 'soulmate' thing, so he was the first person I thought of that could me explain what the fuck was going on. I wasn't upset that it was you, I was upset because you hid it from me and that you thought I was going to flip out about it. I mean, I did, but just not the way you expected."

"I figured you would yell at me, maybe push me around a little bit," you confessed. "I didn't think you were going to run like your ass was on fire to go talk to Kuroko."

"I wouldn't hurt you, for multiple reasons, the main one being I like you."

"I know, but the mind is a strange thing, and mine has a tendency to think worst case scenario first."

He hummed, and you saw the tension melt from his shoulders.

"Come on, let's get out of here," you told him. "Maybe you could go practice with Taiga and Kuroko."

"I want bread, we should go to a coffee shop or something," he suggested.

"Actually, yeah, that's a better idea," you agreed. "I really don't feel like explaining to Seirin what this whole thing was about. I'll call Taiga and explain, how about you call Momoi-san and tell her that everything's okay, 'cause she was really worried when I left."

"Yeah, I got it," he murmured, digging his phone out of his pocket, but he didn't unwrap his arm from around your waist.

"Hey, Taiga," you said when he picked up his phone.

"Where the hell are you, idiot?" Kagami asked.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you even more. Everything's fine now. Aomine kinda cornered me in a street ball court."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, we worked things out. You don't have to worry about it, I promise. We're gonna go to a coffee shop somewhere nearby. I'll call you when I get home so that you know that I got back safely."

"Alright, but if he starts being a dick again, just give me a call."

"I will, thanks for everything Taiga," you told him, ending the call.

It wasn't really explaining things, but you could always tell him about it later, which you were probably going to have to do.

"-fine, Satsuki," Aomine was saying, looking exasperated. "She wants to talk to you."

"Hi Momoi-san," you said when he handed you his phone.

"(Y/F/N)! Are you okay? Where are you?"

"Momoi-san, breathe," you ordered, laughing. "I'm fine. Aomine and I worked things out, I promise."

"Are you dating? Because if you aren't then that's not working things out!" she cried.

"Momoi-san, we worked things out," you assured her.

"So you're dating then?"

You pursed your lips and glanced at Aomine.

"You'll find out soon enough I suppose," you told her, hanging up before she could say anything else to you.

"I think she likes you more than she likes me," he said, and you could hear the repressed pout.

"Nah, you'll always be Dai-chan to her," you told him. "You're her best friend, I just happen to be someone she needs to like because of my affiliation with you."

"You make it sound like this is some sort of business thing," Aomine whined, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

"I'm not used to you liking me, Aomine, you're going to have to let me adjust to this. I have been deliberately avoiding the fact that I like you all year."

"Fair enough," he muttered. "But don't expect me to be all conservative about this."

"What's this?" you asked him.

"Us, the fact that you agreed to go out with me."

"I retain all rights to pretend like I don't know you if you get too dramatic," you warned him, which made him scoff, like he wasn't expecting you to go through with it.

"Bold of you to assume that I'm joking," you said, letting his arm slip off your shoulders and he paused.

"You can't be serious," he muttered.

You kept walking.

"(Y/F/N)? You aren't serious right?" he called after you, slight panic in his voice when you didn't turn around.

"Right?" he asked.

[npdclaraoswald]

Weird how people will understand that "people are only gay now because it's popular/for attention" is bullshit. That the vast majority of people wouldn't fake being part of an oppressed minority because the benefits couldn't possibly outweigh the drawbacks unless it's just you being the way you are, no faking. That percentages of queer people existing only seem to be going up both because it's safer now socially and that policies are changing so that we don't automatically die en masse anymore. That room exists for people to explore and see if they fit in the community. And that if they do end up not actually being part of the community, that still doesn't mean they were wrong to explore. That even if someone is determined to be faking, the fact that they felt the need to do that shows that they desperately need support and that they deserve that support anyway. And that you can't actually ever prove someone is faking because you can't understand their internal experience and therefore they are the person most qualified to determine whether or not they need support and community

And yet people wholeheartedly believe that disability fakers exist

[a-dragons-journal]

I'm... honestly not sure where this argument is coming from. Rarely if ever have I seen endogenic systems say that DID/OSDD-focused/exclusive spaces shouldn't exist at all, anywhere, and rarely if ever have I seen anti-endos whose argument is "I'm fine with you guys existing in the larger plural community, I just want DID/OSDD-only spaces too" - it's virtually always "you guys either aren't plural at all and are faking it, or you actually do have trauma you just don't know about it and are wrong about your own experiences". I believe you when you say that's the majority of the anti-endo community that you've seen, but it absolutely is not the majority of the anti-endo community I've seen. Basically every syscourse argument I've ever seen or been involved in has always been about whether or not we're allowed to exist at all, ever. I... can't really answer a "why do you need to be included in every space, even ones that are meant for CDD systems" question, because that's not what I'm arguing and never has been. (I actually agree with you that spaces for CDD systems exclusively should exist alongside mixed plural spaces - I just don't want the reason to be "because those endos are fakers," which is frankly often what I've seen "traumagenics only" servers give as their reason.)

(I also wouldn't call that an anti-endo argument at all anyway, tbh - that's a little like, idk, saying someone who wants lesbian-only events to exist is "anti-bisexual" even though they have no actual issue with bi people. It implies way more hostility than is actually present.)

I will, however, say that an "endos DNI" is... kind of always going to come across as hateful regardless of intent when it's on a personal blog or whatever instead of an actual community server/space, especially given that^ context. If someone says "endos DNI," without any further explanation I am going to assume that it's because they think we're "faking it," since that's 99% of the people who have problems with endogenic systems that I've run into - for much the same reason that, to continue the metaphor, if someone says "bisexuals DNI" on their personal blog, I'm gonna assume it's because they have shitty opinions on bi people. Having a community space that says "this is specifically for [x] group" is one thing; having a personal DNI that says "I don't even want to see or talk to people outside of [x] group ever" sends a very different message, y'feel?

I guess I'm also not sure how you're defining "system" versus "plural" here, since typically I've seen them used as synonyms or near-synonyms and, as the source linked above indicates, the term doesn't seem to have originated as term only for MPD (which was the diagnosis at the time) - would you mind backing up and elaborating on that for me so I understand where you're coming from a bit better?

Genuinely, how do so many anti-endo people have the fact that they're anti-endo and "fakeclaimers DNI" right next to each other in their profile/pinned/etc.? Babe, you are the fakeclaimer. The thing you are doing when you say "DNI endogenic "systems"/supporters", putting "systems" in scare quotes to state that you don't think they're really systems, is by definition fakeclaiming. You just think that it's justified when you do it because this time you've got the REAL fakes and you REALLY know how to tell when someone is lying about their experiences and identity, pinkie promise. That doesn't make it not fakeclaiming - all fakeclaimers think that. They wouldn't do it otherwise.

[jennsterjay]

Wake up! 

SA2 Re:verse- The Last Scene

This is the last scene in my Sonic Adventure 2 Alternate Universe, titled SA2 Re:verse. This story follows the plot of Sonic Adventure 2, but with a focus on Knuckles the Echidna as the Ultimate Lifeform and Shadow the Hedgehog as the Last Guardian of the Master Emerald. Prologue: Shadow was raised by his uncle who was the last echidna and guardian of the Master Emerald. After befriending Sonic two years ago when he helped retrieve the master emerald from Eggman, he learned that he can rely on others and doesn't have to face his challenges alone. 50 years ago, Dr. Gerald Robotnik created Project Terra also known as Project Flora. From this, the Ultimate Lifeform Knuckles was created using Echidna and Black Doom's DNA. Knuckles honed his skills in controlling natural elements such as earth, plants, water, and other natural elements, as well as manipulating chaos energy. His most notable skill being the ability to heal others, which Gerald used and researched to help his granddaughter Maria from a rare and incurable illness. Aboard the Space Colony Ark, he found family in Gerald, Maria, and Rouge the Bat who was a former jewel thief turned G.U.N. scientist (with a focus on gem properties and flora and fauna studies) as well as a combat specialist. When the Space Colony Ark is raided when word gets out on Gerald's Experiments, Gerald is captured, telling the three to escape. Rouge, running behind Knuckles and Maria, chooses to face the guards head on so the other two can escape. Rouge is cornered and escapes through a cryogenic pod which freezes her in time as she lands on earth. Knuckles and Maria make it to two escape pods, but Maria is shot by a G.U.N soldier and Maria launches Knuckles pod before he has a chance to help her, and he hurtles towards Earth alone. Present: 50 years later Knuckles is woken up from his pod by Eggman who tells him Gerald was his great grandfather. He says he knows of Rouge's whereabouts and will help Knuckles achieve revenge for the Space Colony Ark's erasure from history. Sonic and Shadow especially are chased by GUN when word gets out that there is an Echidna wrecking havoc in the city and at different military bases. With GUN thinking that this is a coup planned by Shadow, Sonic and his friends are now thought to be ex-government criminals. Sonic follows a lead on a mysterious Bat girl who keeps stealing the Chaos Emeralds, and Shadow comes face to face with Knuckles. Shadow is stunned, telling Knuckles that all of the Echidna's are gone and that he is the last. He asks where he has been all this time, and offers to help him. Knuckles is distraught, saying he couldn't be the last and that by Shadow being the guardian of the master emerald, that he is an imposter and a faker. Shadow throughout the game, learns more about Knuckles through their fights, and tries to convince him to start healing from his past and that he can offer him a new future. After many side-battles, Rouge has taken most of the Chaos Emeralds, so Knuckles goes right to Angel Island to take the Master Emerald from Shadow. Its a close and intense battle, but Knuckles wins and tells Shadow to give up being a guardian because he was never strong enough to be, and if he pursues him it'll be over for him. Shadow refuses to accept this and tells Knuckles he wont give up, and despite everything he wont give up on Knuckles either. Sonic and the gang get to the Space Colony Ark and Shadow tells Sonic to get the Master Emerald from Rouge who is guarding it. Shadow is the one who will face Knuckles alone, because he feels he is the only one to understand him and get through to him. Sonic goes to Rouge and they battle. Sonic asks Rouge if this is really how her family wanted to be remembered and if this is what you really want for Knuckles? Rouge after a lot of back and forth, and Sonic saving her from falling off a ledge tells Sonic to protect her jewels (Knuckles and the Master Emerald). Sonic Promises. Elsewhere, Shadow skates down a long corridor until he reaches Knuckles, who seemed to be waiting for him. Shadow tells Knuckles being a guardian is who I am, and protecting the earth and all of it's creatures is what he does, and that if he doesn't believe his words, then he'll show with his actions that "I Am All of Me". Knuckles and him fight and Knuckles fights dirty and at one point throws him into a pod with a fake emerald, leading Shadow to his demise as he hurtles towards earth....or so he thought. Shadow uses Chaos Control using the fake emerald and reappears on the battle field with Knuckles. This pisses Knuckles off and they fight again all while Shadow convinces him that he can heal from his past and doesn't have to face the world alone. Shadow is about to lose the fight despite his best efforts, but right before Knuckles is about to end him, Shadow says even though Maria's not here anymore, she wanted him to be. And even if the world feels like your enemy, I am glad you exist, and you are here now with me. Knuckles punches the ground near Shadow's head and finally gives up, cries in Shadows' arms, and heals him. Later, Knuckles apologizes to Rouge and then they all get an announcement that the Space Colony Ark is going to hurtle towards the earth. They retrieve the Master Emerald and the Chaos Emeralds and Knuckles transforms into Hyper Knuckles, while Sonic and Shadow transform into Super Sonic and Super Shadow. Knuckles and Shadow Fight the Biolizard, while Sonic tries to slow the Ark's descent by pushing it back. Knuckles and Shadow are about to deal the final blow, but the Biolizard rapidly creates what appears to be a massive chaos energy spirit bomb aimed right at Knuckles and Shadow. With no time to run or react, Knuckles and Shadow are toast until Sonic jumps in the way to shield them both and take the hit. Sonic is de-supered and hurtles towards the Earth. At the last minute, Rouge flies out there and catches him and thanks him for keeping his promise. Sonic makes a joke and laughs. Finally Knuckles and Shadow give the Biolizard the final blow, and with low energy they struggle to stop the space colony ark from entering Earth's gravitational pull. They both know this is the moment where they might not make it unless someone sacrifices themselves. Shadow is about to do it but Knuckles tells Shadow thank you for not giving up, the world needs a guardian, and to take care of Rouge for me. He pushes Shadow out of the way, and blasts the ark back all on his own, then de-hypers and falls, hurtling towards the Earth. Shadow uses his last remaining energy to catch him, tells him "I promised you a future, so for you to throw it all away, that's not gonna happen", and heals Knuckles all the way until Knuckles is back in his hyper form. Shadow hurtles towards the earth, and Knuckles catches him saying expletives and starts to panic. He tells Rouge to gather the Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald because Shadow isn't moving. He flies all the way to the space colony ark from earth's atmosphere and rushes through the gates and chaos controls until he gets to the main hub where everyone is waiting and worried. He sets Shadow down carefully near the abundance of Chaos Energy around him. Rouge listens to Shadow's heart and looks concerned back at Knuckles. Knuckles looks back at Shadow who has his eyes closed, looking like the most at peace person in the entire room and Knuckles refuses to let this be the end for him. He carefully picks Shadow up in his arms, and has a flashback of an old memory of watching Disney's 1959 animated movie, Sleeping Beauty. Maria was watching it with him and told him one day she wishes to find someone who makes her feel special, and one day she hopes Knuckles finds someone who makes him feel special too. Knuckles holds Shadow's face in his hand, with his other hand on Shadow's back. And Knuckles says: "You saved me, your friends, and the entire Earth, and you barely even know me. I don't think it's fair to take a nap when all your friends are waiting...and I'm waiting. I guess you could say, I've been waiting for someone like you this entire time. So sorry, if this is forward Shadow, but I'm not letting you die without me" Then Knuckles kisses Shadow and heals him, and slowly Shadow takes in all the chaos energy, and his fur and quills turn golden once again. Shadow wakes up and looks into Knuckles eyes. "Did we win?" Shadow asks. Knuckles laughs and tears up. "Yeah, we won" Knuckles smiles. Everyone cheers and hugs Shadow, and Knuckles too, and celebrates living another day in a limitless future, where even the hardest memories can become treasured things, and your present can be what you make it to be. Sonic Adventure 2: Re:verse -------------------------------- Artist/Author Notes: -Knuckles outfit is based on his SA2 Goth Alternate outfit, the same is for Rouge -The red streaks on Shadow's quills are echidna war paint