#do you KNOW how fantastic it is to think that me and this GOOBER are the same size?

[ittybittyluci]

I don’t care if he is the King of Hell, he is smol :>

This. I have never heard anything more correct in my life.

I mean.

Look at him.

Look at how smol!

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Tuesday Fandom! If that's a thing lol Officially half way through s3. Insane. I love this episode. It’s one giant married moment. They are at the height of their banter and marriage flow in this one. This episode is one big continuous work flirt that doesn’t stop. Idk why people didn’t like this ep when it first premiered. It’s Chenford gold. I remember loving this kind of ep for Castle too. It was split for that fandom as well. I think they’re hilarious snippets I enjoy them a lot. The looks alone in this one are primo. This one is more me analyzing their commentary on the case since everyone is segregated in this one. But lets get started.

3x07 True Crime

We start our ep off with Tim and Lucy being the ones called to Corey’s house. There was signs of blood and they enter the house and find a ton of it. Thus starts their amazing run of snippets in this episode. They are being interviewed since they were apart of the investigation. Tim is instantly surly with the director LOL Shock surprise eh? Last thing he wants to do is be here. To him they could be out on the streets instead of this. Lucy is the natural antithesis to him about this. Legit beaming and he is miserable.

The epitome of grumpy x sunshine in every single way. These interview pieces showcase that so well. It makes me giddy and happy haha Tim wants to get out of this ASAP. While Lucy is so excited to be there answering any and all questions. Even cuts him off in her excitement. She is bursting at the seams with elation. Then apologizes to Tim but still can't contain her glee by saying ‘This is fun.‘ Tim judges her some more I’m dying. The look on his face at the end of the second gif above. LMAO

This next section I like to call. ‘How to show you’re in love with someone without saying a word.’ By Timothy Bradford. He is all heart eyes in this scene. First one he's settling in to listen. When his girl speaks he listens, second is him agreeing wholeheartedly with her assessment and lastly is heart eye/admiration city. Doesn't take his eyes off her most of this scene. They’re talking about Corey Harris’s acting class. How he used them to start a bling ring to steal from celebrities. Tim goes on to say how anyone they caught wouldn’t flip on Corey. So he got away with it.

Lucy adds in her own portion. Explaining how Corey promised his students everything. Money, fame. This in turn inserted him in their lives even further. Basically convincing his students he could control their destinies. Saying he did this because he probably didn’t have any control over his own. Tim is just nodding along with a proud look on his face. Just admiring her take on it. 100 percent loving her analysis of him. You know he loves how her brain works. He is just sitting back and enjoying her breakdown of Corey. As transparent as a glass of water sir.

What comes next always has me rolling when I watch this ep. Gotta love the way Lucy tells him like it is no matter the situation. Keeps him in check. Tim is so cocky in his deliverance of his teacher line. Smug really and Lucy shoots that down instantly. He’s all smiles (love this man's smile btw it does things to me. mmm) then realizes how much she’s got him on this. He is dead to rights and has no comeback. You watch in the gifs above he goes from smug and smiley to straight up defeated LOL

He exhales with a ‘You win’ sigh. It’s fantastic. He thought he had this clever quip against Corey. Survey says no. Wifey shut you down lmao Her face through out the whole scene is so funny. Like this is her idiot and she can’t help but poke fun at him for his comment. This moment will always make me laugh. He’s being so ridiculous and she doesn’t let him live it down in the slightest. Her reaction in the final gif is the best. Can't believe he's being such a goober. The work flirt begins and does not stop. Be more married you two please.

They end up finding a script at one of their crime scenes. The director thinks this is an odd thing to stumble upon. Apparently it is a completely normal thing in LA according to Tim. Just another day on the job in this city ha Their polar opposite replies are so indicative of them as characters. The way Lucy is like well yeah when they’re asked if they’ve written one. Tim's is an instant and hard 'God, No' LMAO. These two. Opposites truly do attract.

Her face in the first gif what makes me laugh so hard. That sheepish embarrassment. Eric and Melissa are just pure gold in this one. Their looks alone are some of the best parts besides the banter. Tim can read her like a damn book. All he has to do is look over at her and see her answer. At first he’s waiting for her to say she hasn’t either. Expecting her to follow suit.

She does not…his body language while he’s waiting for her verbal answer is so funny. Like a slow realization. Then it’s judgy city after that. The way she weakly defends why she has is too damn funny. He is none too pleased she has written one. We all know how Tim feels about screen writers. His face says everything. God I love these two sfm.

Their looks in this one have me rolling the entire episode. Eric is the master when it comes to this in the first place. He crushes it in this one they both do. His reaction to her excitement as they get closer to the climax of this case is hilarious. The judgy side eye and furrowed brow he gives her above is extremely amusing.

Tim truly doesn’t understand why she’s enjoying this so damn much. He’s trying to just get through it and be done. His grumpy old man is showing extra hard in this moment. Her sunshine demeanor despite him is amazing. She is of course the opposite and doesn’t know why he doesn’t enjoy this whole thing more LOL Lucy is having a friggin blast. Its coming off her in waves every time it comes back to them.

I feel like Lucy owns Tim’s ass for most of this ep. He literally doesn’t stand a chance against her witty comebacks. Every time he tries to be cocky or make a joke she shuts him down so hard. His crack about a woman scorned. Lucy puts him in check real quick with that one. His soft tone when he says he’s not trivializing it....(but you are my love)

He doesn’t want her to be mad at him for his stupid comment. Then she takes him to school even further with her logical stats. He has nothing to say except 'Most...'' No leg to stand on Timothy haha. Lucy is proud of her self for this one. No one puts Tim Bradford in check better than Lucy Chen. We all LOVE it. (He does too let's be honest...) This episode is pure gold for their banter. Married idiots in this one for all to see.

The director then comments on how Lucy was the one who broke the case wide open. Lucy is beaming from ear to ear. Lights up like a Christmas tree at hearing this. She is so excited to be recognized. Tim isn’t so fast to heap on that particular praise. Now Tim doesn’t give praise out easily to begin with. Add in she just schooled him in front of the director, he’s gonna be extra salty haha The director then asks well if he wouldn't describe it as such how would he?

Tim takes a shot at her social media addiction as his answer. Then Lucy looks like she wants to punch him so hard. Like how very dare he say about her. Ha She is so affronted telling the director 'That’s hurtful' LOL (but a little true...) Side note. I can totally see them in bed. Tim falling asleep to her endless scrolling. It becoming a comfort thing for him. Her going till she is ready to sleep. Shortly after him I imagine. Tis a nice thought to think about now that they're together. But let's get back to the present ep at hand before I daydream any further hehe

The cute looks in that final gif though. Be still my heart. She is so exasperated with him and he’s soaking it up. No regrets whatsoever taking her praise and boiling it down to luck. The absolute shameless flirting going on between these two. It’s like they don’t even know they're putting on a show for this director LMAO It's truly delightful.

Lucy scrambles to defend herself. It’s pretty comical. Saying she was on her phone doing ‘research’ Tim shaking his head but enjoying this none the less. Says that she got a notification and that’s what drew her eye to Corey's video showing he's alive. Lucy says she still has the video on her phone. So ready to take Tim down a peg. She pulls it up and it’s her on her own page doing some sort of dance. I’m laughing so hard.

I want to see this video in its entirety. Read the comments. All of it. I don't know what’s funnier Lucy being mortified that came up or Tim wanting a peak at the video. He’s confused as hell but wanting to see what she was showing the director. If you need a pick me up episode this is it. This one doesn’t disappoint on so many levels.

His confused face is everything after she quickly hides her phone. There are facets to her personality that allude him completely. This is one of them. Alas Timothy this is the woman you’ve chosen to love hahaha I love her being a dork sfm though. It’s that light hearted dork that brings the best out in him as we see in s5.

Their final scene doesn’t disappoint. Lucy’s face during his rant LOL. Tim going off saying what a waste of time this is, he should be doing stuff more important. Said this before but that line from Aaron in S5 fits perfectly for this rant. He's the old dude from 'Up' Such a good line because its so true for him. I love him so much for his grumpiness though. You know Lucy does too. Loves every piece of this man.

Her face is like the wife letting her husband rant even though she thinks he’s wrong. Tim gets humbled one last time. The director tells him about his last project. The way Lucy watches him the entire scene is adorable. She loves her idiot. The look they share after he says ‘Oh. Alrighty then.’ The smirk on Lucy's face. I can not. He has grown so much btw to not to be continuously defensive after he's corrected. Just rolls with it in this last scene. Like Oh... Oops.

Tim gets the last laugh though. Lucy is beaming slash word vomiting her love of true crime while Tim rolls his eyes LOL Thanking the director for letting her be in this. She is exuding sunshine and happily looking at him. When she finishes up Tim pops her happy bubble. Tells her about the thing in her hair. They’re constantly trying to one up the other. Take each other down a peg. Competitiveness even in an interview. Unreal. Lucy has his number this entire episode. So it’s only fair Tim gets his shot in last minute.

I do love in the second gif he stops himself from getting said thing out of her hair though. You watch him reach for it then stop his hand before it makes the full journey. Lucy is so affronted she doesn’t even notice. Her arm is already up and blocking any attempt to grab it anyways. I do love his almost attempt though. It's the little things.

Lucy is so mad he let that be in her hair the entire time. He did it because well it’s Tim. I adore these two so very much. He sighs heavily as she berates him on the way out. So exasperated by her it’s so funny. This is such a fun flirty light hearted episode for them. We got their banter in spades with side helping of heart eyes and flirtation. One of my fav eps of the season for them. Much needed levity after the intensity of the last two.

~~~~

Side notes- non Chenford

Not much. Was good to find out what happened to Sterling. Gino just disappeared last year without a trace. So having ending to them was nice to have.

Harper was hilarious during the interviews to always love me some Nyla Harper. ❤️

Forever Thank you to all who read these reviews and like, comment and reblog means the world :) see you all in 3x08

[2aceofspades]

I have a serious question. So, do you fully comprehend how awesome you are? Because damn. You’re legit one of my fav artists. You just consistently churn out these heartfelt masterpieces—sketches, doodles, finished or unfinished, they all MEAN something. You’ve also ALWAYS been so nice to talk to. I often get discouraged by the lack of interaction I get on platforms when I try to go outside my comfort zone and reach out, especially on Twitter. But any time I’ve asked a question or made a comment, you always take the time to respond and that’s just…so kind of you. So considerate. You don’t have to do that, but you do and it’s just lovely.

Anyway… I randomly remembered you saying that you didn’t feel as comfortable drawing Donnie and I just have to say that, whether it feels more comfortable now or not, he looks fantastic! Then again, every character you draw does! And of course Leo is my fav—my comfort character—so I’m not going to lie, it’s fun to see you draw so much of him.

I just can’t get over all the details in your work. I’m no artist, but I can appreciate how much emotion goes into your art. The squiggly lines when someone is nervous, the specific looks in their eyes, small details like scratching when anxious (I know I commented on that on a previous post)—you’re just so great with showing emotion!

Okay, okay. Gushing done… for now. Hope you have a fantastic week and thank you for being your awesome self!

Oh my stars waaaah-

When I tell you that I was not prepared for such a lovely and sweet ask oh boy-

I'm like...literally almost speechless oh my shining stars in the sky 🥹 like, I'm struggling to respond without blubbering too much oh jeez-

Just...thank you so much, seriously. Putting emotion and meaning into my work is what I always strive for, so for someone to recognise and compliment that...it just means the world to me. I am so honored.

I also have definitely felt discouraged at times when interacting with posts and such. I do my best to not take it personally, but I understand that sometimes...it's difficult. I do my best to respond to asks, comments, etc., even if I'm a bit late with responding. I know I'm not perfect and I can be a little scatterbrained, but I really do enjoy engaging with y'all. I have such a lovely following, and I love giving back to y'all as well <3

Ah, yes...Donnie...my sweet sweet Donald. I still think he looks very stiff and wonky when I draw him...especially f!Donnie. His shell...confuses me. But! Thank you for your kind words and your support! It definitely helps pep me up to draw him some more hehe 🤗✨

Also, I have to comment on Leo cuz he's also my favorite and my comfort character as well :3 I love drawing him even if sometimes he gives me such grief. I don't wanna think about how many times I've drawn that goober 😶

Anywhizzle!

Thank you again so so SO much for such a wonderfully kind and thoughtful message 🥹 I really appreciate you taking some time out of your day to send so much kindness my way. It really means a lot to me 🙌💙✨ Gah- I hope you have a fantastic week as well!

[gardenerian]

new to this amazing fandom and imposter syndrome is raging thru me. any advice on how to take the plunge and create? or do you think all the well known creators here are already established?

what makes a fic great and a 'classic? regular updates? being active on socials? i posted once and was basically ignored so im scared now and in my head.

sorry for all the questions

× imposter anon

hey there 💓 welcome to the fandom! this is a brilliant, silly, LOVING place, and i am so glad you're here! i'm sorry you're feeling a bit unsure, ty for coming to chat with me 🫂✨

first, i'll say that NO, i don't think there's a cap on creators here. what i love about this fandom is that it's constantly growing and evolving - almost like it's breathing? there are new people who have just binged the show, fans who are reconnecting, and goobers like me who will never let go 😇 no matter what, we are here to gobble up words and art and thoughts and FRIENDSHIP!

honestly, i think the trick for me was connecting. i joined shameless tumblr in 2019 and screamed into the absolute VOID before i started interacting with others. once i started reaching out and talking with others, it was easier for me to share my writing or find the encouragement to start making gifs. there is a BIG focus on community here, and i find that people are so eager and generous with their energy. we WANT to cheer you on and champion your work! we WANT to beta and read and give advice/tips/love.

so i would say not to be shy (easier said than done, i know!), and to share your beautiful self! a lot of users have tracked tags, which is a good way to share and connect. i track #gardenermel (sometimes i am bad at looking, but i'll always get there!), and i'd love to see what you've been up to. and there are many others who love to see creations this way! if you feel comfortable, you can reach out via asks and strike up conversations! all of my friendships here started this way.

there are plenty of ways to get started! fandom events are especially useful for trying things out. depending on what you'd like to create, you could check out @galladrabbles @gallacrafts @gallavichmeta @shamelesscreatorsnetwork @gallavichprompts... there's a yearly @spicygallavichcollab and all kinds of events hosted by @gallavichthings. honestly, the list goes on! these are excellent resources for sharing creations, and a great way to meet members of the fandom.

there's also a host of discord groups associated with some of these initiatives! check out the blogs for links. plus, the big ol' gallabitches server (18+). you'll find a lot of us there, and it's a lovely space to chat about your creations (and everything else!).

as for fic classics, i think that depends on who you ask! there are certainly some fandom staples, but what's great about this space is the WIDE range of interests and ideas. people have put these guys in every single situation, and we continue to be fucking psyched about it. as long as ian, mickey, and the whole damn gang feel true to themselves, i am (generally) fucking here for it. i don't post regularly AT ALL, but i still find that people are so lovely when i do. there's no race to be won here, fandom is about ENJOYING yourself. so i say: please keep trying! drop me a link! i don't catch everything and i WANT to see what yall are doing!

i hope this helps, even in some small way. i know coming into a new fandom can seem daunting, but we're all here for the love of it, and it's so fantastic to keep sharing it! 🍅

anyone else have thoughts? i love you!

[prince-of-red-lions]

MOOT APPRECIATION POST. RIGHT NOW. GET OVER HERE YOU SILLY GOOBERS! 💖💖💖

@kiwi-der-vogel-alt. YOU WERE MY FIRST EVER MUTUAL. i love your art so much it is so SHAPED and they are all so BLORBO!!!! you are a wonderful person and your so funny and i hope you had a good christmas. I LOVE THE GATOS YOU DRAW BTW-

@whyoneartheven. EVIE!! HI! you are a WONDERFUL PERSON. thank you so much for all the kindness you given me! you were also one of my first moots, and im glad i met you. i hope you had a good christmas! YOUR AMAZING 💖

@uniquevoidflowers UNIIII. HEBLO!!! i love your writing SO MUCH its SO GOOD. and your a sweet person as well, and your so nice. :) thanks for all the kind words you've given me! KEEP ON WRITING GIRLIE YOU SLAAY 💪💪

@turdofanerd WHATS UP TURDO. YOU SILLY CREATURE. we don't talk much but i KNOW your SUPER COOL. BECAUSE YOU ARE. thank you for your quiet but strong support on everything i've done! your a wonderful person!

@akchimp75 AKKKK. HI! ak your so silly. soooo silly /pos. you have a fiery spirit and your a joy to talk to! thank you for being SO COOL. its always fun to see you on my dash! STAY AWESOME AK 💖💖💖🔥🔥

@margindoodles2407. MARGIN! we may not talk much, but im still glad were mutuals. I LOVE YOUR ART SO MUCH! your just a wonderful person and your FUNNY!!! thank you for all the support, margin, and MERRY CHRISTMASSS

@vio-starzz HEY MOSS! we don't talk a whole lot either, and we're new mutuals, but that doesn't make you ANY LESS AMAZING. your art is SO CUTE and you have a FANTASTIC personality. KEEP IT UP IM PROUD 💖💖

@taddy-cat OMG TADDY. HI. your are just. SO COOL. when you first started messaging me i had no idea what to do, but now im SO GRATEFUL FOR IT. your always there and someone to chat with. you have such COOL art ideas and CUTE ART AS WELL and your work stories are HILARIOUS. thank you for always being there and getting me to socialize more. YOUR TRULY WONDERFUL AND YOUR ART IS BEAUTIFUL 💖💖💖

@ladye-zelda another mutual i dont talk much with 😔BUT YOUR SO AWESOME. ladye, your art is amazing and i hope you had an AWESOME CHRISTMAS. keep it up because you SLAY EVERYDAY 💖

@hiimgin. OMG AMOUR. YOOO WHATS UP. amour your such a sweet and genuine person. your art is so SHAPED and COOL and COLORFUL. you are so FUN TO TALK WITH!!! you truly are a kind person and i thank you for everything nice you've said to me. you make me feel SO SPECIAL <3

@almost-an-artist L.B. YOU. HI. your art is so WONDERFUL. its so CUTE AND ADORABLE AND I LOVE IT. and YOU are wonderful too! you are a pleasure to talk to and i hope you stay sweet forever! thank you for all the art you've given me and know that I LOVE YOU!!! (/p). don't ever change you AMAZING PERSON 💖💖💖💖 @killuagobrrrrr HELLO! we may not have interacted much, but your HILARIOUS. thank you for all the fun convo's we've had! merry christmas!

OKAY, I THINK THATS EVERYONE! :D MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL. your all WONDERFUL people and you've all made me feel so special and so loved and you guys deserve the world. seriously. thank you for everything, and i hope you all understand how much i appreciate each and every one of you. the talents you all possess are AMAZING, don't ever give them up. times will get tough but keep moving! im always supporting and cheering you folks on, so DON'T GIVE UP! 💖💖💖💖💖 please remember to talk care of ya'lls selfs, otherwise i will come over and smack you myself. <3

MERRY CHRISTMAS, YA'LLS! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[whumpbug]

Oc question: How would all four of your whump ocs go about answering "how are you" or "are you okay" in different phases of okayness?

Or in simpler terms (in case what I just said made no actual sense) How would Archie/Simon/Gene/Cassidy respond if he was asked...

"How are you"/"How are you doing" on a GOOD day?

"How are you"/"How are you doing" on a BAD day?

"How are you"/"How are you doing" on a TERRIBLE day?

And as a bonus (to end off with something positive) how would they each respond to "how are you" on an absolutely showstopping fantastic day?

anon i am SO sorry this took so long to answer but i got so so sobusy and then i got on a drawing kick so i wasn't writing as much BUT this is such a fun question. i LOVEEEE exploring character voices/what they would say to certain questions. i'm gonna answer with dialogue/small actions and add a tiny little explanation!!

i hope you enjoy!! long post incoming!!

✮⋆˙

"how are you doing?" on a GOOD day

simon: "who, me? oh! i'm doing well. and you?"

[simon is just hard to read period. you'll notice a lot of his responses are similar because he is just. naturally very monotone. BUT THERE ARE SUBTLE DIFFERENCES. archie knows. this is him just being calm, which, in comparison to the rest of his life, is a good day]

archie: "i'm doing great! i went to go get some bagels downtown, and they were perfectly toasted, and then i found $10 on the floor! then, my friend, simon, went to the store and got oreos, just for me! then, i--"

[cutting him off because he will just ramble about exactly what made his day good. he's a talker. he can't help it when he's excited.]

gene: "can't complain." [said with an easy expression on his face-- he's not Brooding for once. he seems more relaxed and open]

[gene is a man of few words, equally if not more inexpressive than simon. he is also a little bit awkward. BUT its endearing and he's getting his point across]

cassidy: "doin' peachy! whatta 'bout yourself?" [said with a flashy smile, but its clear that for once, its not for show. its not one of his fake smiles]

[cassidy is cassidy. simple as that. he walks a delicate balance between being a Silly Goober and Deeply Traumatized.]

✮⋆˙

"how are you doing?" on a BAD day

simon: "shitty."

[short, clipped, and to the point. if simon's having a bad day, chances are that its because he has too much on his plate. no time for small talk]

archie: "oh! i've uh.. i've been better. but it's okay! how are you?"

[oh archie. ever the deflector. archie does let himself show that he has "bad days" because the city needs vigil to be Strong. he needs to learn to dodge punches as well as he dodges questions]

gene: "alright."

[he's Not in the mood for small talk. not in the mood to pretend to be fine. he just wants to get whatever he needs to do done so he can go home and brush calliope and sleep.]

cassidy: "well, i'm alright! and you?"

[you didn't think cassidy would admit to having a bad day, did you? especially because the person probably causing his bad day is someone he Will Not bad mouth. ever.]

✮⋆˙

"how are you doing?" on a TERRIBLE day

simon: "i don't want to talk about it, okay?" [said somehow in a tone thats half-rude-half-desperate]

[simon is blunt. he'll say what he means, and if he says this, he really doesn't want to talk about it. to whoever is asking, at least. archie's a different story of course. anyways, best to let him be.]

archie: "me? oh.. i'm.. i'm okay.." [followed immediately by bursting into tears.]

[vigil can only stay strong for so long. even he has limits. he needs a hug and a cup of hot cocoa and a fluffy blanket immediately chop chop simon]

gene: "hm."

[look at that guys. gene has trancended words. his day is SO shitty that he has taken to communication using grunts and nothing else. best to leave the deputy alone, just like simon. maybe be careful around him. it's been rumored he has a short fuse.]

cassidy: "i'm doing fine, alright?" [and then cassidy storms away, of course]

[oh cassidy. he's tired of being fussed over. if people see that he's Not okay, it makes him vulnerable. he can't have that. he'd rather remove himself from the situation that have to keep pretending.]

✮⋆˙

AND BONUS!! "how are you doing?" on a FANTASTIC day

simon: "i'm doing great." [his voice may be monotone, but he has that smile. the one that archie gushes about in this post.]

[again, simon is straight to the point. his face still tells more of a story than his voice and demeanor. when hes happy, he's all gentle smiles. his face practically emits light with how warm it is]

archie: "i'm doing amazing!! what about you? oh! we should go get some ice cream! i know this really good spot! my treat!"

[archie my precious. when hes happy, he LOVES to spread the love and find ways to make his and other people's day even better.]

gene: never been better! [follows by a clap on the shoulder in the way dads do.]

[wow. multiple syllables! its a miracle! i think gene is just affectionate when hes happy. its almost too much to bear. he needs to hug someone. chop chop cassidy!]

cassidy: "fan-fuckin'-tastic!" [said, surprisingly non-sarcastically, with one of those little cowboy whoops, probably while riding scotch]

[he's hyperactive when he's REALLY happy. i'd imagine it would be after he just finished a job taking down some crooked millionare. adrenaline is high and so are the Good Emotions. just makes him wanna whoop!]

✮⋆˙

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE FUN QUESTION! this made me want to repost a character voice ask game again i love Getting Into The Minds of my sillies! hope u enjoy!!

[jeeplethicar]

Something that always strikes me as odd is whenever I consider playing any “soulslike” game since I enjoy fromsoft games so much. But I’m always turned away from them because they always miss that thing that actually makes fromsoft games good.

After you play any of the games more than once you immediately find the game easier and easier each time (in my experience at least) where my first playthrough was over 100 hours any subsequent one I first try most bosses regardless of the build or challenge I impose on myself and I clear it in 20 hours max. Mind you that doesn’t make it any less enjoyable I’ve played through the whole trilogy back to back multiple times but it’s undeniable that dark souls is not that hard when you actually know what you’re doing. I’d say at least 70% of the actual “hard” part is just not having any idea what you’re supposed to do when a boss does x thing. But the second you do? Then you make the boss look like a goober who’s never held a sword before

Dark souls (and other fromsoft games) have received this unfortunate label of “this game is hard” which turns a lot of people away from it. Or even worse becomes a glorified aspect of it when in reality it’s difficulty is one of the least important aspects of what it has to offer. Yet that’s the thing that everyone latches on to. Don’t get me wrong I remember spending hours on nearly every boss my first time around but after I win it really was more a fact of “oh I just need to do x when y” it’s not that preforming the action itself was actually difficult.

But whenever any “soulslike” games, weather they advertise themselves like that or not. The inevitable words that are coming out of stupid peoples mouths is “this game is harder than dark souls” or something comparing difficulty. And then you watch gameplay of this game and it looks like a shitty dark souls mod with worse UI. Oh sorry could you not tell which game I was talking about? Yeah that’s because there’s a lot of them floating about.

And I don’t even necessarily hate these games either I would probably have a fun time playing it if the bosses were entertaining enough. However I probably wouldn’t want to play them again for one reason and one reason only. These games all focus so hard on the hard game set in grim medieval setting that they completely ignore the whole beautifully crafted world with lots of lore in every corner that is woven into the gameplay so seamlessly that it’s not until you’ve played dark souls a few times that you begin to notice how well done it is when you see things that you missed the first time. That’s what these games are missing, they just try to make a “hard” game and sometimes even end up failing at that. And then these games fade to obscurity as just another dark souls clone. Which is very unfortunate for the developers of these games as I’m sure plenty of them didn’t even have dark souls in mind when making their game

Even for fromsoft, they have Bloodborne (which I have yet to play) and Sekiro. Are absolutely fantastic stand alone games and have earned their own spots next to dark souls that have their own unique stories and gameplay despite being similar in vibe. However who didn’t escape this was Elden Ring, now I could go on for a long time about how disappointed in this game I am. But I wont for now. Elden Ring really is just fromsoft wanting to keep making dark souls but having the self respect to not go “dark souls 4 we continued this for some reason” because they know ds3 is the perfect ending. But there’s a huge reason why any time people talk about Elden ring you see dark souls tags on it. It’s obvious it’s meant to be a continuation of the series (gameplay wise obviously not story wise) Elden ring just doesn’t make itself unique enough to be one of the great fromsoft games.

And that’s not to say I didn’t play the game all the way though so don’t think I’m just some dark souls bootlicker. I did one regular str/faith build (just for golden vow and lightning buffs) and my second playthrough was a naked throwing knife only run. So I did throughly play it and while there were enjoyable parts of it. Elden ring just feels so much less developed atmospherically. Like in terms of icons? We have a tree. Oh and another tree, and in case you didn’t notice on your way in we have a tree. The tree is cool for a bit until you see that that’s literally all it is. Things like messages are there because… well because.. Why does our character respawn? Oh because of the undead curse-..

I think Elden ring is a fun game and is still well done but it always falls short of being it’s own unique thing and it will always be that way to me, I want to get into the lore like I can with the other games but it just feels like it’s not there (ignoring the god awful Samey same names) it plays exactly like ds2 if it was polished and didn’t have adaptability. And it’s bosses/enemies are copy pasted way too many times and they don’t even do it like the Capra demon in ds1 where you encounter it early game as a point to warn you about the kind of beasts you’re going to meet when you go past the depths and blighttown. But also that when you struggle with this thing now but then are able to handle three of them at once later shows your growth in strength.

As apposed to “oh yeah just throw in this same boss again, what do you mean we already have twelve tree sentinels? Just one more it’s okay. No don’t change anything about it no new moves just the same boss. Oh and while you’re at it copy paste some more crucible knights, let’s make a duo fight with them people liked ornstien and smough. These enemies have no chemistry and the room is too small? Do I pay you to ask questions? Just because of that I’m putting in an area that’s entirely a swamp, actually fuck you two swamps”

End point, the reason games labeled as “soulslike” or clearly model themselves after it inevitably fail is because what makes dark souls so special isn’t because it’s hard game haha get gud. It’s because of the atmosphere and the story it tells *while* it’s beating your ass. The way every boss takes hours and dozens of attempts your first playthrough is because you’re supposed to feel like one of the undead dying time and time again with the only thing that keeps you returning is your will to keep trying. Other games are hard because they want to have that little sticker they can put on the box to say “we’re like dark souls guys please pay attention to us” they lack the why that dark souls has. It’s themes are perfectly executed and that’s why they have been, and will always be a timeless classic that people will try very hard to emulate but it’s not until they figure out how to make a good story that they’ll ever make something nearly as good

[bisexualshakespeare]

BTS: I’ll write a DVD commentary about my personal favorite passage from Harvest Festival series :D

Question from this post

I think I'll do the part in Eckleberry Pie where Graydon goes to find Boorman to apologize

Boorman wasn’t far. Graydon found him downstairs in the dining hall, eating a piece of pie and sweet talking one of the maids cleaning up.

“Effie,” He said when Graydon sat next to him. “This is my friend. The pouty one that I left to check up on, causing me to nearly miss your fantastic eckleberry pie. Obviously shouldn’t have done that.”

originally this was blackberry pie because I love blackberries and didn't want Boorman to be drinking. Sometimes around when I was finishing I remembered Elora's task to grow an Eckleberry bush and thought that would be a fun call back. Also a bit of a callback to sad-angry-frown-prince

Effie smiled at Graydon, glanced at Boorman, and shook her head fondly.

I remember I agonized over Effie so hard. I was like 'what does she sound like? does she like boorman? is she bothered by him? what are they gonna talk about?' before I was like ok this is just an excuse to get them to fuck. she doesn't need to have extensive character motivations, she can just walk away 😆

Graydon cleared his throat as she retreated. “So. Thank you, first of all, for checking on me. That was nice of you to think of me.”

“You’re welcome.” Boorman said with his mouth full. Boorman talked a lot with his mouth full. Graydon was pretty used to it by now.

Sometimes when I'm trying to keep my mindset in canon, I will just reference things in canon to remind me I'm okay? This is me being like 'yeah you're writing boorman right. remember when he talked while eating the probably-not-men-who-were-turned-into-pigs at nockmaar? you're doing great' lol

“I admit I was a little harsh before. I was upset and kind of mad at myself and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I hope I didn’t offend you or make you feel like you weren’t wanted.”

Boorman straightened a little. “I wasn’t offended.”

Graydon slowly put a hand on Boorman’s arm. “Because you are wanted.”

a couple people in the comments have said this is surprisingly smooth for Graydon? I honestly was just trying to be like 'boorman is not a substitute for elora! graydon's not using him! i want to be clear here!' this is me waving my hands around

Boorman looked at him with surprise, and with berries in his beard. Graydon couldn’t believe he was going to have his first time with this huge goober. Then again, that huge goober was kind of his best friend.

Boorman is great but he is without a doubt the grossest of the group. He drank spoiled wine at nockmaar, ate the worms at the shattered sea fishery. I have no doubt that if he was in his feels about being rejected he would eat half a pie no problem. I don't know how much I was thinking about it as I was writing it, but in hindsight I think I wrote Boorman as having a crush on Graydon prior to the fic. Even if he didn't, I think he's a dramatic enough person to use any excuse to cry into dessert.

Boorman patted his face with a napkin in an attempt at nonchalance. “So what changed your mind?”

Remember when this said non nonchalance and we were both confused? lol

Graydon winced. “You know that consummating you mentioned? I kinda ran into it in the showers.”

Boorman gasped. “In public? Elora Danan’s not as vanilla as I thought.”

Graydon's mind briefly went to the marks he briefly saw beneath the robe.

I am just now noticing I put briefly twice in the same sentence. damn i was distracted thinking about elora in only a robe lol

He shook his head. “But also, you know, I’ve never done anything before. If you were interested, it would be nice to have someone-”

“So handsome and experienced in the art of love making?”

“I was gonna say, someone I really care about.” He smiled a little.

Graydon's just so sincere and sweet and truthful! and also can you tell I really REALLY wanted it to be clear he liked Boorman and this wasn't just a rebound?? That's literally all this scene was written for! if I didn't care about that, Boorman would've just been in the room when Graydon came back and they would've immediately started fucking. Which now that I mention it is basically what happened in Lightning Strike 😂

Boorman brushed a lock of hair from his face. “Well I’ll have to think about it while I finish my pie.”

“Of course.”

Boorman picked up the plate and poured the rest of the pie into his mouth.

“Alright, let’s go.” Boorman grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the hall as Graydon shrieked with laughter.

This is the funniest image to me! It feels so right for Boorman to be like 'well i'll save face' and then immediately not. I don't know if "shrieked" is the right word for how the actor would actually laugh in response to this but it is how *I* laughed so it went in! 😂

Thanks for asking! 😘

[julie-su]

Team Chaotix for the ask meme !! Or just Vector if you wanna keep it short :p

TEAM! CHA! O! TIX! Alright, for clarification for those playing at home, I'm going for Heroes Team Chaotix, not Knuckles Chaotix, which is a different handful. Also doing all of Knux' Chaotix in one go might kill me XD .... Still, we are GOING to need a readmore after Vector. LET'S GYOOOOOO!!!

Vector - Sexuality Headcanon: That crocodile is an awkward bisexual if I've ever seen one! (Signed: awkward bisexual) Gender Headcanon: He's cis, but in a funky way A ship I have with said character: Well, in Preboot Archie, Espio and Vector XD basically everywhere else.. I don't really know! I suppose I like the idea of him getting crushes easily XD A BROTP I have with said character: Team Chaotix is just one big BROTP. So to make these fun, I'll branch out! I like to wildcard it, and make him be friends with Mina. They just hang out and listen to music, I think you can catch them going to concerts together frequently - I think that a strain is put on their friendship after Mina's exposé on Nicole, but after Mina makes it up with Nicole, and Vector and Mina have a discussion about the whole thing - he forgives her himself. He didn't really like her saying all that stuff about Nicole. A NOTP I have with said character: Swan Lady Hater Swan Lady Hater Swan Lady Hater A random headcanon: I really like the idea that Vector has ADHD, and needs some tunes playing in the background at all times that he doesn't just zone out fully. He concentrates better when he's got beats playing! General Opinion over said character: GOD, I love Vector. I love how often he has to become the adult of the group, it's just fantastic every time he's offering emotional support, even if he's not really.. Good at it. It's one of the things that I feel has been consistent amongst all iterations - hell, he even made peace with Julie-Su when she's in her hour of need in preboot Archie! I love when he consoles Shadow during the Semi Hero-Hero (? it's been a while) ending in Shadow the Hedgehog 2005. I love that it even carries on to more recent media, such as where he is comforting Belle in IDW! I wonder if that puts a lot of pressure on him, sometimes? I think he comes across as a jerk at first, but he really does have a heart of gold.

Espio - Sexuality Headcanon: Gay Gender Headcanon: He's got some genderqueer swag.. Your chameleon is GNC af A ship I have with said character: -looks up and above- A BROTP I have with said character: Nicole and Espio getting to know eachother just really makes me smile! I think they're besties after that... Maybe with less 400-Year-Old Grandpa Floating Head Orb in the room XD ... A NOTP I have with said character: I have only ever really seen self-ships of Espio in the wild, which are all incredible. There's nothing for me to put here XD A random headcanon: I think he can still do the rainbow tone shift like in Knux' Chaotix, I think that he does it when he's sleeping. You can tell how good or bad of a dream he is having by the colour cycle. Charmy thinks this is hilarious! General Opinion over said character: I love when we get reveals that he's just a dumb goober. He IS a goober. He's really cool, and I love the whole espionage thing, and I wish he was around more. I love a failman who exceeds at what he does XD

Charmy - Sexuality Headcanon: Charmy Gender Headcanon: Also Charmy A ship I have with said character: I don't know if 'Ship' is the word, but I like that in later Preboot Archie, he's always with Saffron - sure, they're dating, but it feels like it's in a cutesy playground crush style.. adorable! A BROTP I have with said character: Mello- MELLO, NOOO! Okay, Mello's six ft under... Who's next on the list... /brick'd But for REAL - This would never happen in a canon-adjacent way, but I really love the idea of a playdate between Charmy and Kit. I think two evils (LOVINGLY said, but Charmy ABSOLUTELY doxxes people for fun and calls them rude things over voice chat) cancel out, and they end up working on these huge projects, like building an entire scale replica of the city out of toothpicks. Charmy has a new outlet for his overbounding hyperactivity, and Kit gets to put his mind elsewhere. They both focus on their own sections and talk for hours. A NOTP I have with said character: Most ships are no-go for me with Charmy >_> I just don't like 'em. A random headcanon: I think Charmy doesn't understand that he's being rude half of the time - he's just one of those 'say it how you mean it' blunt kids who giggles too much. I think that he also doesn't really understands that he's been rude, or that people are annoyed - he's low empathy, but full of boundless energy and joy, he interacts with most people in good faith and doesn't understand why someone WOULD say something in bad faith, so he just does not get that he's in trouble until he's being scolded, then he's just left confused XD THEN he gets rude. because it's not FAIR. General Opinion over said character: I LOVE Charmy! He's one of my absolute favourites, I used to pretend to be him on the playground. I just really meshed with his hyperactivity as a kid, and I thought he was so funny XD

[polestarneighbor]

Reading tag game! Tagged by @lincyclopedia. Tagging @kaindasorta because I don't actually interact with folks on this webbed site.

Last book I read: The Princess Trap by Talia Hibbert. Picked this one up from the library on a whim because I needed something fluffy to keep me from rereading astolat fic on a quiet day. It was exactly the kind of short and sweet I wanted, and with enough chemistry and kindness to make me buy forgiving the hero after some truly epic fuckups.

Book I recommend: for the last couple years, it's been a toss-up between The Duke Who Didn't by Courtney Milan or A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik. Depending on whether I think people need a lighthearted romance between two hilarious but uncommunicative goobers with a heavy dose of food porn (and RECIPES) or a fantastically written My Immortal AU with the best allegorical world building I've ever encountered. And also two hilarious but uncommunicative goobers. What.

Book I couldn't put down: Diavola by Jennifer Thorne. In this case I'm not sure "couldn't put down" was a good thing. Anna's gradual, horrifying disillusionment haunted me for a week straight, to the point that I was reading it in every spare moment I had, and it's stayed with me in the months since I read it. I've never understood so viscerally how it feels just to be fucking done, and I'm not sure I wanted to know. Be warned, ye who enter here.

Book I've read twice: I have a personal rule for the sake of my wallet that I don't buy books unless I have read them at least twice and preferably more. Also, I have four bookshelves in my bedroom. But I did once read Howl's Moving Castle twice back to back on a single plane ride, and it was totally worth it. The cover could use some new packing tape now, though.

A book on my TBR: Immortal Dark by Tigest Girma, out Sept 2024. I love vampires, especially vampire romances. I love magical schools. I love murder mysteries. I love gloriously ornate cover art. I need this book now.

A book I have put down: The Familiar by Leigh Bardugo. I really wanted to love this, but the way the protagonist kept getting constantly manipulated in very obvious ways was very frustrating, and I just wasn't hooked. So when a different Libby hold came in, I didn't even notice I'd lost track of this one.

A book on my wish list: Sorcerer to the Crown by Zen Cho. I'm very overdue for a reread, because I'm always keeping an eye out for it in bookstores and never finding it. Primarily what I remember about it at this point is a total sweetheart of a deeply unambitious Victorian Sorcerer Prime struggling and entirely failing to keep his recklessly ambitious protegée in check. Plus my favorite "all magic comes with a cost" tropes, irresistible.

A favorite book from childhood: There are so many. But today I'm going with the Percy Jackson series, primarily for the sake of the teenager I recommended it to a few days ago whose eyes kept getting bigger as I answered the questions "Does it have Athena? Does it have Hades? Does it have ZEUS?!?!?" Runner up is Freeze Tag by Caroline B. Cooney, for the ultimate "evil is human, not monstrous" fable.

A book I would give a friend: Uprooted by Naomi Novik. It takes a lot to make one of these lists twice (let alone three times under a pseudonym), but if you can top the charts for me in multiple genres you're doing something right. This somehow manages to have all my favorite fairy tale retelling energy while also being totally original. Absolutely gorgeous.

A book of poetry or lyrics I own: I don't read much poetry beyond Poe, so the closest I have is probably In the Night Garden by Catherynne Valente, which is technically a novel but feels more like a piece of art than a story to me.

A non-fiction book I own: the last one I bought was Bad Blood by John Carreyrou. I don't generally like nonfiction, but a good con artist is compelling in any medium.

Currently reading: nope, I don't pause to write Tumblr posts in the middle of a book. Finished two yesterday, will probably pick up the next tonight.

Planning to read next: The Last Devil to Die by Richard Osman, because the Thursday Murder Club is too cute. Ibrahim and Elizabeth have and will always have my whole heart.

[cheryyori]

moon knight fic idea that I had brewing in my head for 2 months but I can't push myself to write right now bc I'm having writer's block ofc

Might write them down as headcanons/bullet points to have them down before making this idea more concrete

fem!oc used for this fic idea btw! (can be read as a reader insert as well if you so choose as, but written this idea with an oc in mind), also lots of Japanese and other Asian mythology that I find would fit the story in mind, also I'm Asian so why tf not let me project a bit ok???

fic idea:

Imagine oc being able to see ghost and spirits (more specifically yokai and anything close to the sort) since childhood. Terrifying really.

Demon paralysis be damned when you open your eyes to see a literal shadow figure staring down at you. Panic attack ensue.

Oh yeah, did she mention the voice in her head guiding her on what to do with these spirits and how to handle them, yeah that's a thing too...

Apparently they're the goddess Izanami, overseer of the underworld Yomi. Fantastic.

She also mentions how more spirits are running amok and unchecked bc APPARENTLY THANOS' SNAP HAD FUCKED THE BALANCE OF LIFE AND DEATH. So I guess those that disappeared weren't actually dead but literally just ceased to exist and it threw Yomi is a disarray of chaos.

Basically the goddess was pissed. So now oc is their unwilling paranormal detective, being forced to faces these horrendous spirits so they can pass on. Fucking fantastic.

Also the Blip actually made it worse too. Great.

Apparently there's some consequences of being forced to help these spirits

They're not limited to out of body experience while taking the train home, usually with oc being in the place of the memory of the spirits that were either before or lead to their deaths. Awesome. More nightmare fuel for her ig.

While this happens to her mentally, physically her body will either be unconscious, spaced out, or even moving on its own unconsciously.

When she sleeps they become vivid nightmares she can't remember usually, only the terror she felt. Sometimes she'll find bruises and scratches on her and remember only bits of what happened. Night terrors. Check. Bodily harm. Check.

Works in the museum both Dane and Sersi works at too bc I can and pls Jeremy add some Dane/Steven/Marc interactions for season 2 pls I'm on my knees

Dane was said to make an appearance in Moon Knight originally but they didnt know how to add him so Dane is now in this fic bc idk what to do with this info now.

Dane and her are friends and friends only. He helped her get a job bc she's out of one bc she was Snapped.

Oh right she was snapped, forgot to mention that lol.

Yes she knows Sersi is an alien wizard. No she doesn't want to turn into a giraffe Dane.

If Dane is doing his Black Knight activities, 9 times out of 10 she doesn't know. She thinks he's distance himself bc of what happened to Sersi, and decided not to push.

Takes place a bit before the start of the series. She's Steven's neighbor but they dont talk much, only wave and greet each other on the lift and when they head to the same bus stop before she left to step onto the subway.

Goodness does Steven thinks she's adorable. A little better at social cues than he is but still as awkward. She a goober really.

She thinks he's cute too. Like a puppy.

Somehow they go on a date (personal headcanon that it was Jake that set Steven with a date bc he has the most social out all of them, which will make things real awkward for them when everyone finds out yikes). Well they try too. You know what happens on Steven's end but surpise suprise. She actually arrived late to the restaurant bc she had another out of body experience bc of some spirits she had encountered (thankfully it was in her home) by the time she arrived Steven wasn't there. It was hours later, she assumed that he thought she stood him up and left.

She ate the steak anyways. She was hungry.

She didn't dare to call or text him, afraid of what he'll say, so color her surprise when he called her instead.

What??? They have a date??? But it's Sunday. Confused, she decide to tell him that she thought he thought she stood him up. Both are confused. They decided to reschedule the date then, both hoping that this one goes well (tbh both were ecstatic that the other was giving them another chance).

Ofc that doesn't happen bc Harrow and his cult with Ammit ensue hijinks.

So Marc and her are complicated bc they used to be friends as kids but then her family moved to NY. They kept contract and talk but it became very minimal. Like simple how are you type shit. So they have no idea what the other looks like over the years.

So Marc is in for a big twist when he finds out Steven's date is her. It doesn't help he had a tiny itsy bit of a crush on her as kids.

But he doesn't have feelings for her he loves Layla still, right? It's probs bc of the fond memories he held of her as a child that makes him soft for her. No not bc she's kinda of a cute goof.

They're grump and sunshine embodied really.

Also embodies slow burn and friends to lovers trope real hard. Marc's gotta to learn to move on and live a happy life. It's hard but he'll get there.

He is emotionally constipated and will deny any possible thought of him having feelings for oc or any form of happiness.

Oc does not approve and annoys him with affection.

What the fuck was that????

A hug.

Disgusting. Do it again....

Nicknames. Nicknames! NICKNAMES!

Sunshine - Marc, Twinkle Toes - oc

Hc that Marc was kinda clumsy as a child and oc called him that to tease him (was more reinforced after they watched atla).

Steven call her his little sunflower.

Jake calls her his bébé usually.

And Layla.

They're divorced. They'll try to work it out but really Layla realizes that she fell out of love for a while now. The lies and guilt put a strain on their marriage.

That doesn't mean she doesn't care for Marc. She does. As friends.

She won't admit it but deep down, she thinks Marc was conflicted about his feelings whether he knew it or not (whether it was his guilt about her father or not, no one truly knowz). So seeing how he gets along with oc is good for him.

Layla slowly pushed him towards her bc she wants Marc to be happy as well and move on.

Layla is a good friend and wants everyone's best interests.

Now onto Jake.

Keeping in mind of the hc that it's Jake that asked oc out on a date on Steven's behalf. Well then things are gonna be messy. Bc haha they've met before. Like way before Marc met Khonshu and became his fist of vengence.

They met when she was in college and hit it off from there. I don't want to give away too much of their relationship but long story short. Jake does break contact with her.

So when everyone finds out about Jake things get awkward real fast and real bad.

Small hint of their relationship is ???? To lovers trope.

Khonshu is a manipulative bird brain and Izanami commit Khonshu hate crimes on the reg as she should.

Speaking of Izanami.

Goddess of Death and Creation. The overseer of Yomi, the underworld.

Yeah she's cool. Kinda unhinged but cool.

A bit over the top, but aren't all gods are???

Kinda gives off Scaramouche vibes from Genshin Impact but not as arrogant you know. She's not very well liked within the Japanese pantheon due to her role and also from her ex-husband's influences.

She really does care for oc. Thinks of her as her kin. She was a mother once too.

Speaking of her ex-husband, also commits hate crimes against her ex-husband Izanagi too (iykyk) and tbh go off queen.

Only oc sees her and she takes an appearance of a normal woman but dresses expensively. Thinking of Manwol from Hotel de Luna, same vibes as well tbh bc when I write Nami I think of Manwol tbh.

Oh possession is a thing too, ig

Bc with how oc acts, Izanami needs to take over when push comes to shove. Though this happens rarely.

Mostly this happens when oc is unconscious and in peril danger. Or when provoked enough to encite her fury or vise versa (usually the later is towards other gods of different pantheon, yeah she's still bitter they did nothing to restore balance in life and death). Sometimes when oc's spirit/consciousness is forcefully pushed out of their body, Izanami takes control to make sure the body is breathing.

Overall that's it for this word vomit. It's still in the process but if you want to know more lmk bc I haven't seen this idea in Moon knight fics just yet.

Fic idea inspiration taken from: Hotel de Luna (kdrama), Goblin (kdrama), Tomorrow (kdrama), The Uncanny Encounter (kdrama), Tale of the Nine Tailed (kdrama), Death Mark (game), Spirit Hunter NG (game), Mieruko-chan (manga)

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

The Reaper and the Death Angel Part 45

My life is falling apart and I'm so stressed I'm bursting out in tears for no reason. Any way, here's another chapter. I can't decide whether I love it or hate it but I've re-written it a billion times and it's not going to get done if I don't call it finished.

Series Masterlist

Part 44

Contains: Fluff, angst, protective Jax, caretaker Jax, hints at Gemma having a drinking problem. Not proofread, it will probably be full of mistakes.

7K Words

Comment if you want to be tagged/removed or follow #the reaper and the death angel.

Wedding bliss

Six days after Jax took over

"The bathrooms have been cleaned, and the booze is finally stocked. Santo Parde will be here in four hours so you need to go get ready while I start the finger food."

Jax smiled, "you are really settling into this well."

You raised your eyebrows, "what do you mean?"

Jax pulled you into his arms, letting you rest your weight on him instead of the crutches and put a hand on your face, "this whole old lady thing, you might as well be running the Club."

"We've been over this Teller, this is not me being an old lady, this is me being a diplomat. Now I've left an ironed shirt that that nice pair of jeans that make your butt look great on the bed. Please so get dressed so we can be ready in case they're here early."

"Yes ma'am."

Santo Parde were twenty minutes early, "I told you so."

Jax rolled his eyes, "yes you did Darlin. So you know two of these guys?"

You nodded, "I met Johnny Cruz in Afghanistan and Ezekiel Reyes has been to four of my lectures. Cruz is a good soldier and a fantastic sniper. Reyes is smart, perfect memory but an ambitious streak a mile wide. I won't be surprised if he's running the charter in a few years."

"Good to know, we better go and say hello."

It didn't take long for them to settle in, then drinks were being passed around, "hey Coco, I'm glad to see you've landed on your feet."

He smiled, "yeah, the Club is great."

Ezekiel swagged up to you, "hello Dr l/n, how's life been?"

You took in his VP patch and shot Jax a knowing look, "great, it seems things are good for you, being VP and all."

He smiled, "yeah Bishop thought I'd make a good fit." You nodded, "brains over brawn is always the way to go, at least you'll never forget any details."

The party picked up as the night wore on, Bishop was sitting with Jax and Ezekiel while you sat at your spot at the bar and re-connected with Coco, "what in God's name made you settle in another desert? Do you miss finding sand in your ass crack everyday."

He chuckled and shrugged, "I like the heat."

You shook your head, "there's something seriously wrong with you."

He laughed and a tall man with a beard and fine features wandered over, "who might you be gorgeous?"

Coco was doing his best to not smile as you stuck your hand out, "Dr l/n, Jax is my fiance. Who are you?"

His face fell a bit, "lucky man, name's Angel, EZ's my younger brother."

You nodded, "Sam's mine, do they ever grow out of being goobers or is he going to annoy me till the day I die?"

Angel shook his head, "EZ hasn't changed since we were kids."

A crash pulled your attention away, then someone was shouting, "y/n can you come here, I think Kozik just broke his hand."

You rubbed your face, "sorry gentlemen, I need to go mother some children."

They laughed and you left, when you were out of earshot, Coco leaned in and talked to Angel low enough that no one else could hear, "she was a mechanic when we were overseas."

Angel's eyebrows went up, "she doesn't look like she knows cars."

Coco shook his head, "not that kind, the lady was a CIA operative, my guess is that's why Marcus speaks so highly of her. She must have something to do with what's going on with Galindo."

Angel shrugged, "she seems nice enough. What was she like when you knew her?"

Coco smiled, "she cut an insurgent's throat with a rusted hunk of metal to save my CO's life, I've got no complaints."

You walked back into the Clubhouse with Kozik in tow and walked up to Jax, "sorry to interrupt."

Jax shook his head, "is everything ok? I heard noises and then you were running out."

You rolled your eyes, "Kozik's wrist is sprained, I need to get him an X-ray to make sure it's not worse. I'll probably be home early morning tomorrow."

Jax gave you a sad smile, "alright Darlin, we've got all week to get to know everyone so don't worry." He pressed a quick kiss to your lips and you left, Jax turning back to his conversation with Bishop.

****

"Hey Darlin, how's Kozik?"

You were home a lot earlier than expected, "fine, it wasn't bad enough to need an X-ray once the doc had a look, he'll be riding again in a week or two."

Jax watched you walk to the bathroom and heard the shower start, "how did tonight go?"

Jax's tone was light, "good, they seem like good guys. But you're right about the VP, he's ambitious. I have some bad news."

It wasn't really bad news but Jax wanted to prepare you, "let me guess, Arizona is coming and Jenkins still has his patch."

Jax huffed, you were so smart, "I don't know why after his behaviour but they couldn't afford to lose him after everything that went down there."

Jax heard the shower turn off, "if he tries anything, I'll just kick the shit out of him again. I wonder if he still walks with a limp."

Jax chuckled, "last time we were down there he did, maybe he'll stay away from you now that Clay's gone."

Jax opened his arms when you emerged for the shower and you climbed into them, "maybe, he better not try something in front of Santo Parde, you know I can't let that slide."

Jax pressed a kiss to your forehead, "I know, you have my blessing to do whatever you need to."

****

"Shit, where's Gemma?"

Lyla and Ima looked like they were going to collapse, "in the back, she's not feeling well."

You shook your head, "I'll help you get ready for the party tonight, I'll try to stay but since everything went down with Potter, I've been swamped with cases."

Ima gave you a soft smile, "Jax is really worried you're working too hard, you should be resting that leg."

You shook your head, "it stopped hurting two days after I got home. I'll go fix up the dorms and make sure the bathrooms are still stocked. Can someone please go sober Gemma up?"

****

Lyla sent Gemma home after it was clear that she wouldn't be able to keep up appearances. You were sitting on one of the couches with your legs over Jax's lap while he ran his hand up and down your calf, with Opie, Bishop and Hank sitting opposite.

"It was hilarious. This POG kept going on and on about how I needed to finish autopsies faster, then proceeded to run out of the tent with his hand over his face because he couldn't handle a three day old corpse."

Hank laughed, "I bet he never lived that down."

You shook your head, "he might of had I not told everyone."

Jax clicked his tongue, "you just love causing trouble, don't you?"

You smiled, "it depends."

Jax went to respond but was called away by Sam, "be nice."

You put a hand to your chest, "I'm always nice."

Jax lifted your legs off his lap and pecked your lips, "I'll be back in two minutes."

Opie was smiling, "how's the wedding planning going? Lyla tells me that Sam and Ima want to do some outdoor thing for a joint bachelor, bachelorette party."

You nodded, "some kind of real life Oregon Trail video game in the woods, no camping thank God. I'm sure everyone will have fun but there's no chance you are the guys are winning."

Bishop chuckled, "ah to be young and in love." Jax wasn't back yet and then you could feel the hair at the back of your neck stand up and someone was walking over, it was Evan Jenkins.

"Long time no see."

You glared at him as he sat down, "yes, fortunately."

His tone became condescending, "don't be like that, with you as the head bitch we need to get along."

Opie went to step in and you raised your hand, "can I help you? Because you're ruining my nice night and this lovely conversation that I'm having."

He shot you a nasty smirk, "I just think want to know why you and Teller are still together after that stunt you pulled last time we saw each other."

The Mayans around you were confused, "same reason he decided to be with me in the first place. I spat in his drink one day without him knowing and put a curse on him."

"Dude, no one likes you, didn't you learn your lesson when she beat the shit out of you."

Opie didn't sound happy, "what are you talking about?"

Hank's tone was soft but cautious "oh, he put a prospect up to hitting me across the face, then I beat the shit out of him. That's why he walks with a limp and has an uneven face."

When Jax rounded the corner, he saw Jenkins talking to you and speed walked over, "is everything ok here, Darlin?"

You nodded, "yes Beloved, I was just telling the guys how I bewitched you with my magic vagina."

Jax pressed his lips together in order not to laugh, "I don't know how to respond to that."

Jax sat back in the same spot and lifted your legs back onto his lap, going back to running his hand up and down your calf. Jenkins waved his hand at the sight, "that's so pathetic, I guess you're with her cause she removed your balls."

You nodded, "yes, I use them as a paperweight in my office." Jax's hand was a little firmer and you could feel him tense, "I don't know what your issue with me is. When we first spoke, I turned you down nicely, then you lied to Jax to save face. I don't know what you want or why you keep bothering me but you need to read to room, no one wants you here."

He crossed his arms over his chest, "are you going let this bitch speak for you."

Opie stood up and put a hand on the man's arm, "I don't think anyone here would disagree with her, you're killing the vibe man." Jax had gone stiff next to you and he was shifting to be able to get up without moving you too much.

Jenkins glared at you once last time then went to walk away, but in a flash, you had a drink thrown in your face. There was no point in stopping Jax as he leapt up and descended upon the man, the sound of his fists hitting his face filling the room.

Tables and chairs were being pushed aside as the one sided fight continued, Jax had been working out and sparring with Sam most days and he was fast becoming a wall of hard muscle. The bare fists of Jax's huge hands were doing more damage than you could ever achieve.

Everyone was watching as Jax pummeled the quickly fading man until he was flinging blood everywhere "Ope, I think it might be time to…."

Opie waved his hand, "not your choice y/n, Jax can't let the disrespect slide." Opie let it go on for another flurry of punches and kicks before he was pulling Jax away.

You walked over to the sink and wet a towel before stepping up to Jax and taking his hands in yours, "my brave knight, you have cast off on your face." Jax acted like you weren't there as he watched Jenkins be dragged off by Chibs. You reached the towel up and wiped the blood off his face, "my sweet, noble Jackson, you can't punch every man that has a problem with me."

Jax was still silent, "you wanna tell me what's going through your head?"

He grunted, "he's gone, I'm having his patch pulled tonight."

You shook your head, "let's focus on making sure everyone gets along first, once this is set up, we won't be seeing him and Arizona can't take anymore loses anyway."

For the briefest moments, not even a second, Jax's glare turned on you then softened as he dropped his forehead into yours. "That shouldn't have happened, I'm sorry."

He lifted a bruised hand to your face, "help me clean up?" You nodded and walked hand in hand with Jax to the dorms.

"I won't work with him."

Bishop's tone was short, "I know, we don't expect you to but she's right, without him, Arizona doesn't have enough for a table."

The rest of the week went great, there were dinners and nights spent at the Clubhouse drinking. By the time they left, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that Santo Parde would be able to take over for SAMTAZ.

Fifteen days after Jax took over

"You guys are going down, you don't have a chance."

Jax chuckled, "sure, can you run with those?"

You huffed in mock offence, "you want me to even the score? Because I'm happy to hobble one of you."

Opie slapped Jax on the chest, "don't be mean Jax, it's not like her short legs could keep up anyway."

"I'm gonna put a snake in your tent."

Jax smiled, big and wide and wrapped his arms around you, "I could make a joke here but I'm worried you might do it." The host showed up just as everyone was getting overly excited.

"Now, I've been told that we're splitting off into two teams, so please do that now."

You gave Jax a kiss and walked over to the other side of the fire pit, "each team will have a guide who will give you challenges and hand out cards for when you succeed or fail. Those that die on The Oregon Trail will be escorted back to the cabins for tea and cookies. The team that makes it to the end with the most people will win."

You split off with your guide and headed in the opposite direction to the guys, "what do we get if we win?"

Ima smiled, "bragging rights. When y/n told me how obsessed Sam was with the game when they were kids, I knew I had to beat him because I always got the high score. We're going this to settle who is the best before we get married."

You shook your head, "and you tell me I'm the nerd."

You walked down the trail and something beeped, "alright, y'all, it's time to choose your supplies." Ima was very insistent on what to take, then you were off.

****

"What do you mean we can't take more than that?"

Juice rubbed his face, "because there's a limit, you idiot. The girls are already so much further ahead, we're going to lose if we don't hurry up." Sam shook his head, "that will not be happening."

****

"Why did I have to go under a wagon wheel."

Lyla didn't seem happy, "it's alright, Chibs and Bobby have already died, at least you'll have company."

Ima didn't seem impressed, "come on people, we've got to keep moving."

Lyla smiled and shook her head, "I'll make sure they leave some cookies for you guys."

****

"You have died of dysentery."

Jax stared at the card he was just handed, "what, if y/n isn't ready back, she's never going to let me live this down."

Sam had no sympathy, "get going Teller, I can't lose." When Jax got back, only Bobby, Chibs and Lyla were there.

****

"A snake bite, really?"

Ima slapped your back, "sorry sis, get going."

You shook your head and walked off, returning to Jax smirking from ear to ear, "yeah, laugh, at least I didn't die of dysentery you noob." People floated in slowly, but it was clear that Sam's team was losing, at the end, it came down to Sam, Ima and Tina, then they were all walking back.

"Who won?"

Ima and Tina were smiling while Sam looked miffed, "suck it little brother, I'll never hear you brag about having the high score again."

Sam's face broke out into a smile and he flipped you his middle finger, "oh, real mature."

Twenty days after Jax took over

"Alright, the cake is ready to ice and the dress is almost dry. I have to call Juice so he can come over and help with all the bread and Bobby is halfway through the puff pasty tarts."

Jax put his arms on your shoulders, "can you sit down for two minutes? You're not even supposed to be off those crutches."

You shook your head, "I'm not even limping, can you stop worrying."

Jax huffed, "I'm never going to stop worrying about you, did you get that intern sorted?"

You nodded, "yeah, he'll be on once a week from now on, I cannot believe they were going to drop him because he's sick."

Jax smiled, "he's lucky he's got you and Holt as his bosses and not someone else."

You shook your head, "that's on the back burner right now."

The doorbell rang, when you looked at the video feed, it was Juice, "thank God, I didn't even need to call. Can you head to Anvil and make sure the tables are ready for the reception?"

Jax smiled and pressed a kiss to your lips, "sure Darlin. You want me to do anything else?"

You shook your head, "no, not right now. Have you heard from your mum? The last time we talked was four days ago and she hasn't been answering."

Jax shrugged, "I'll get Tig to chase her up, I'm sorry you're dealing with all this."

You shook your head, "it's fine, let's just get all this done so my brother can get married."

****

You arrived at Anvil three hours later, having left Juice to start baking. Jax was still there, and had clearly pulled rank and called Happy and Kip to help. He swagged up to you with a smile on his face, "how does it look?"

You looked around at the tables in the main hall, everything looked great, "amazing, how much work did you actually do?"

He gave you that trademark Teller smirked, "you're the one who's always telling me I need to give them more responsibility."

You shook your head, "with the Club not manual labour."

He smiled and ran a hand down your face, "but they did a good job, didn't they?"

You pressed your lips together, "yes, they did. So they'll be the ones getting the fancy wine I bought to say thank you for helping out and not you."

Jax huffed, "you can't even drink wine, why would I want it."

You rubbed your face, "I'm immune to your charms Mr Teller." A phone call pulled you away, it was Hale. The phone call didn't take long, Jax was busy folding napkins when you returned.

"What was that about?"

You smiled, "the light and sirens paperwork for my car has gone through. I'll be able to head to crime scenes before the cops fuck them up now."

Jax shook his head with a smile, "great, you can terrify even more people with your driving."

You gasped in fake offence, "I am an excellent driver, my driving record has never been blemished."

Jax shook his head, "that's because you both drive like and old lady and like someone is trying to kill you."

"Hell yeah, speed limits matter, it's other drivers that suck. You should know that."

Jax shook his head, "you are such a dork."

You sat around for ten minutes waiting for the flowers to arrive, "how does that work, won't they wilt?"

You shook your head, "nah, Hap. Sunflowers are super hardy and I have fancy stuff to put in the water, they also come in protective wrapping so we'll get them ready, then keep them in the fridge till the morning."

"Shit, that is fancy."

You heard a bike in the distance, then Tig appeared, "where's Gem?"

He shook his head, "drunk off her head, I left her with Lyla to sober her up."

You rubbed your face, "and it just keeps happening. Where's the guy with all our booze? He was suppose to be here by now."

Jax shrugged, "call him and find out."

The phone call was short, when you walked back to the group, they could see how angry you were, "what?"

Jax knew this wasn't going to be good, "the motherfucking supplier found out it was for a wedding and wants another five hundred dollars, I told him to take his deposit and shove it up his ass. Does LaRoy still run protection for that liquor store next to his bar?"

"Last time we were there, he was getting a re-supply, you want us to make a call?"

You nodded, "please, tell him the going rate for a wedding plus more if he gets what we need by tonight." Jax took out his phone and walked off the make the call, in the meantime Bobby showed up with some of the food.

"Oh thank the Gods, please tell me everything went well?"

He nodded, "it's all good, I made extra mini pies too."

You gestured over to the kitchen, "please put everything in the fridge. I've checked it four times so it's working and empty. Please, please lock it, this is still a working military training facility and it will be gone by dinner time."

"You want to sit down for a minute love?"

You shook your head, "Jax will be back with news about the alcohol, I need to chase that up."

Right on time, Jax walked back with a smile on his face, "you're smiling, that's good right?"

Jax nodded, "turns out, the owner took his daughter for a tour of the museum and she loved it. He'll provide everything at the original price if his daughter gets a day pass for the rest of the year."

You clapped and jumped up and down, "I have some in my car, can you go now and pick everything up, the van is ready to go, he doesn't even have to worry about delivery."

Jax nodded softly, "sure Darlin, I'll be back with everything you need."

"Oh Jackson, I love you so much."

****

Jax came looking for you when the flowers arrived, only to find you fast asleep in Derek's office. You woke up to Jax softly calling your name while he rubbed your cheek with his thumb, "I wasn't asleep."

Jax chuckled, "sure Darlin, the flowers are here."

You rubbed your face, "I'm coming, I need coffee."

Jax shook his head and handed you a cup from the table, "strong enough to chew, just how you like it."

"I don't have the time right now but when I do I'm going to suck your soul out of your dick."

Jax chuckled, "good to know Darlin."

You ran down to greet the delivery person and signed, "I really need help with the flowers, you guys up to it."

They all nodded, "great, to the kitchen."

They did an excellent job on the flowers, "you should go into flower arranging Tig, I think you've missed your calling."

He laughed, "I can kinda see that." Jax shook his head, you had warmed up to Tig in the last few weeks, he knew you'd never get along with him like the others, but at least you were talking to him more than what's necessary.

"What do you have to do after this?"

You thought for a moment, "not much, the decorations are up, everything else has to happen tomorrow. Even then, the flowers just have to go out and the food needs to be finished, I'm bringing the cake over later tonight."

"What time are you getting up."

You shot Bobby an unimpressed look, "five in the morning. I have co-maid of honour things to do with Lyla."

Jax gave you a smirk, "lucky us, we don't have to get up till eight."

You shook your head, "I hate you."

His smirk widened, "you're so mean." You picked up an empty paper roll and softly thumped his shoulder with it.

"If you think I'm mean now, you should see me if I have to get up early."

Jax grabbed your wrist then pulled the paper roll from your hand, "you'll just have to go to bed early then."

Behind you, Bobby laughed, "Jackson, get your mind out of the gutter. There will be no borking tonight good sir." Jax went red and the others burst out in chuckles.

"Yeah Pres, the lady needs her sleep."

Jax laughed and put his hand on his forehead, "don't you have a cake to ice?"

You pressed your lips together, "yeah, I do, and I won't be saving any cream cheese icing so don't get any ideas."

"Yeah Pres, don't get any ideas." When you walked out of the kitchen, they were still laughing,

****

"Ahhhhh, it's too early."

Jax threw an arm over his face, "can't you stay in bed a little longer?"

You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, "no, I have to get all the food ready then I have to get prepared for the wedding. I need coffee, go back to sleep."

Jax grabbed your arm and pulled you down onto his chest, "where's my good morning."

"It isn't morning Jax, it's the ass crack of the day. Good ass crack of the day beloved." Jax released you then rolled over and went back to sleep while you rushed off to start the food.

****

"Alright, are you sure the meat will be ready by lunch?"

Derek nodded, "yes, now go off and be a maid of honour, we can handle his." You drove back to the house to start getting ready. Sam spent the night in the dorms and Jax would have already left to start his job as the best man so it was just you and the other women at the house. To your surprise, Gemma was there and sober.

You and Tina had sewn the bridesmaid dresses, simple blue dresses with small yellow sunflowers to go with the rest of the theme. It didn't take long for everyone to get ready, everyone was comfortable enough with their hair and make up to do it on their own. Ima went full old Hollywood with her hair in gentle waves wrapped around her head in a loose bun while the bridal party did what they wanted. The makeup was very much the same.

"So, I created detailed instructions on how Sam needs to remove your dress, if he rips it, I will know and I will kill him."

She smiled, "I know, I'll make sure he's careful. We need to head for the venue, the officiant should be there by now."

It took half an hour to get there in the old-fashioned black taxis you hired, there weren't many people there yet and SAMCRO's bikes weren't there so there was no need to rush and hide to avoid them.

"Have you seen the officiant?"

You went looking, only to be directed to one of the offices by one of the Anvil staff there for security, "looks like food poisoning."

"What? It's in an hour. I need to go call Jax."

You could hear the smile in Jax's voice when he picked up, "is everything alright Darlin?"

You took a deep breath, "the officiant has some kind of disease and the backup won't be here in time. Can you break it to Sam please?"

Jax huffed, "yeah, aren't you a notary, just get a licence over the internet and do the wedding yourself."

"I can't do that, it would be weird."

Jax chuckled and placed his hand over the phone to speak to Sam, "your bother's ok with it, if Ima is then I don't see a problem."

You rubbed your face, "I'll try. If she says yes, I have no idea what I'm going to say."

You knocked on the office door and Lyla opened it, "what?"

You gave her a soft smile, "I have bad news, the officiant is half dead in the spare office. However, I can get an officiant licence in the next twenty minutes."

Ima smiled then shrugged, "go for it. You wouldn't be here if Sam didn't already say yes. I can't think of a better person to do it than you."

You gave her a hug, "I promise I'll do a good job." You ran off to call Jax, after finding a laptop and opening a licencing website "ok, Ima said yes. I'm currently on officiants are us California. You guys need to leave now so you get here in time."

"Great news Darlin, I'll see you there."

****

You had gone through a mountain of paper by the time the guys arrived, a knock at the door had you jumping out of your skin, "y/n, it's Jax, can I come in?"

You walked up to the door and opened it, making sure he didn't see inside, "wow, you look gorgeous. What's wrong?"

You put your face in your hands, "I can't write this speech, I have no idea what to say."

Jax gave you a soft smile, "I'm sure you do, just wing it."

You shot him a look which he smirked at, "wing it? Jackson, I have been planning this wedding for months and you want me to wing one of the most important parts?"

Jax huffed, "then you're going to have to come up with something in the next twenty minutes. I've checked on the food and it's going fine. You have nothing else to worry about."

****

Sam was shaking like a leaf, "you good man?"

He shot Jax a watery smile, "I've never been happier."

Jax put a hand on his shoulder, "we better head out." Sam nodded softly, "yeah, we better." The office they were waiting in was closer to the space where the ceremony was being held so it didn't take them long to walk down. Most of the guests were there by now, sitting on the simple deep brown wooden chairs, Sam's attention was fixed down the aisle, waiting for the women to walk out of the office.

His heart jumped as the music started.

We were walking so long I forgot

Where we were going

Found a place we did not recognize and I

I'm alright not knowing

Lyla and Tina were first, walking down with their bouquets of yellow poppies and baby's breath.

Hallucinating with the morning light

Cover me in a fantasy

Getting swept up in a storyline and I'll

Let it take me out to sea

Let it take me out to sea

Feel heavily

No gravity

You're the way I go

Unconsciously

We're winding like an open road

You're the way I go

Luanne walked out after then, her dress flowing in the light breeze.

So traverse the earth to come back home

Hear me without a sound

I am mystified that wanting you is how

My feet firmly felt the ground

My feet firmly felt the ground

Feel heavily

No gravity

You're the way I go

Unconsciously

We're winding like an open road

You're the way I go

You walked out next, you could see Sam's lip start to quiver and his eyes were shining and red as you took your place on the podium.

A well that never dries

A fire that never dies

Even in stormy times

You'll know me

And I will know you

Ima appeared from behind to door and there was a collective gasp, tears were falling down Sam's face as she locked eyes with him and made her way up the aisle.

Feel heavily

No gravity

You're the way I go

Unconsciously

We're winding like an open road

You're the way I go

She handed Lyla her bunch of flowers and turned to Sam, "hey."

He looked like a little boy, "hey, you look so pretty." There was a soft chuckle from the crowd and Jax gave you a soft nod.

"Friends, family, gawking Anvil employees who are only here for the free booze and food, we are gathered here today to witness the union between Ima Tobin and Sam l/n. Are you both here of your own free will?"

They nodded, "yes, without a doubt." Your eyes floated to Jax for reassurance as you went to start the speech.

"The ancient Greeks may be the origin of the belief in soulmates. Plato asserts that when time began, humans had four arms, four legs, one head and two faces. Zeus, fearful of their power and intensely jealous of their happiness, tore them asunder and we are now doomed wander the earth until we find out other half."

Sam squeezed Ima's hand a little tighter, "but it's so much more than just a story. When we find the person we're meant to spend the rest of our lives with, we know. It's like coming home after an unending journey or meeting an old friend you haven't seen in decades. It's peace, the calming of a roaring ocean, it's the first drop of rain after an unrelenting drought. Now, I know you have written your own vows so Ima, please start before I start crying."

The crowd laughed again and Jax took the rings out of his pocket and placed them on the podium.

"I never thought I could be this happy, I was convinced I was going to be one of those people who never found someone who loved them for who they were. And then you walked into CaraCara one day and you smiled at me, and it's the first time I felt butterflies in my chest since I was a teenager. From this day forward, I promise my love, my loyalty and my comfort to you until my last day."

Ima let one of Sam's hands go picked up his wedding ring before sliding it over his finger, and You wiped a stray tear, "good luck in topping that."

Sam sniffed, "Lemon drop." Ima went red and you could hear someone aww from one of the chairs, "when I first saw you, it was like the world stopped spinning, I think I forgot how to breath. You were standing in the middle of the room in a pair of pink sweat pants and an oversized jumper talking to Tina, I had to psych myself up to saying hello because I was worried I'd make a fool of myself. From this day forward, I promise my love, my loyalty and comfort to you until my last day."

Sam looked at you and with a nod took the ring and used his shaking hands to put it on her. Jax leaned in close, "what else?"

You shook your head and the crowd held on in anticipation, "and treat you as good as my leather and ride you as much as my Harley." The other Sons finished the last bit along with Sam

There wasn't a dry eye in the crowd by the time they were done, "alright, I legally have to do this. Are there any objections to this union? Speak now or forever hold your peace." No one made a sound, "good, I would have shot you." Sam choked on a laugh while Ima shook her head.

"Well then, by the power vested in me by the state of California and a shady internet website, I now pronounce you Husband and wife, you may….." Sam cut you off by kissing Ima, dipping her like something from a movie, "you impatient twerp."

Sam turned to you and laughed, "thanks."

You smiled back, "now, time for lunch!"

****

"This bread is amazing."

Happy had his mouth full, "it's all Juice, he's become quite the baker."

Abel waddled over with his plate full, "that's a lot of food Mr, are you going to eat it all?"

He smiled and shook his head, "no mummy, I bought it for you." He put the plate in front of you and tapped your lap so he could sit on it.

"Thank you Abel, that was very thoughtful."

You picked up the pasty and bacon wrapped pepper and took a bite, "these are great."

You huffed, "I know, I'm so happy I got everyone to help because Bobby did a great job."

Jax flopped his head onto your shoulder, "why didn't they want speeches?"

You gave Jackson a sad smile, "why do you think? They didn't want anyone ruining their day."

Jax reflected your smile, "that's probably for the best. I'm still surprised they decided to have a daytime wedding."

You nodded, "yeah, it fit better with their theme and they're excited to go on their honeymoon."

Jax shook his head, "I hope they enjoy their isolated trip to Appalachia."

You huffed, "they are going to a lovely cabin by a lake, they're not going to be eaten by mountain men, don't worry."

"Something tells me Sam wouldn't let anything happen to Ima."

You nodded, "yeah, he'd kill a mountain man with his bare hands."

Abel was clearly enjoying his lunch, "these are so yummy."

Jax chuckled, "I know little man, which one's your favourite?"

Abel picked up the mini cheese and onion pie, "dis one."

"Can I have one?"

Abel slid the plate towards his father and Jax picked up and ate one of the pies in one bite, "Jackson."

He shook his head, "what, these are great."

You nodded, "well, we have a big ones for our wedding, I'm sure Bobby will be happy to help."

By the time lunch was done, the Anvil staff didn't have many leftovers to enjoy but that floated in nonetheless. The party really kicked off once the music was flipped on and Ima was dragging you to the dance floor. Jax sat with Sam and watched while you and Ima danced to some late ninety pop hit, "that's going to be you in a few months."

Jax gave Sam a soft smile, "you gave no idea how happy I am that this whole thing is only going to take less than six months, I would have lost my mind if I have to put up with Clay for a whole year."

Sam nodded, "well, we're lucky Marcus is so eager to get it done."

Abel was looking around the table, "what's wrong little man?"

He didn't look sad, "I finished my milk."

Sam chuckled, "it's alright buddy, I'll take you to the kitchen and get you some more." Abel jumped off your chair and took Sam's hand, walking away with his little coat still over the back of the chair.

Jax watched you dance with Lyla and Ima, just as he was going to get up to join you, Gemma walked up to him, he could smell the weed and alcohol on her. "They seem to be having fun."

Jax was pissed, "yeah, they are. You promised me you wouldn't drink today, y/n is going to be so hurt if she finds out."

Gemma huffed, "it's not her day, Sam never said anything to me."

Jax crossed his arms, "because he didn't want to hurt you, Sam already had his childhood ruined by a drinker, don't ruin his wedding. Sober yourself up before everyone sees you."

Gemma walked off to the coffee and cart and Jax did his best to remain calm as Sam and Able returned, "did you get it?"

Abel held out his cup, "yes daddy."

Jax smiled, "alright little guy, don't eat too fast, you'll get a tummy ache."

Jax watched you and Ima come up to the table, "come dance with me."

Jax grabbed your hand in his and let you pull him to the dance floor, "you having fun?"

You nodded, "yeah, but I've had it. Sam and Ima are leaving soon then I'm going to help clean up and head to bed. Have you spoken to Gemma today, I haven't had the time."

Jax stiffened, "she got drunk, didn't she."

Jax hugged you harder, "I'm sorry."

You shook your head, "it's fine. I think we should ask Wendy to look after Abel more, Gemma can't look after him right now."

Jax nodded, "yeah, I'll call her tomorrow and ask her what days she's free."

You smiled softly, "let's forget about everything right now and enjoy the rest of our day."

Jax pressed a kiss to your forehead, "good idea Darlin."

****

"Go home and put Abel down, we're almost done here."

Jax's brows furrowed, "you sure?"

You nodded, "yeah, it won't take long." Jax left you with a sleeping Abel in his arms and headed back home, Lyla dropping him off with a plate of leftovers.

When Jax got the text just before seven, he sprung into action and ran upstairs to start his plan. When you got home, the house was quiet. Jax emerged for the bathroom with his sleeves rolled up and a smile on his face. "I put your favourite pair of fluffy PJs on the bed and I've run you a bath so have a quick shower first, then I'll be in to join you."

You smiled, "thank you."

Jax listened for the shower to finish then walked in to see you climbed into the bath, Jax knelled by the side of the tub and picked up a sponge before dipping it in the perfectly hot water and rubbing it over your chest,

"that feels nice."

Jax chuckled at the tiredness of your voice, "you worked so hard the last few weeks, you deserve some pampering."

Jax washed and massaged your scalp then helped you out of the bath and dried you off, "come on, I'm not done." He sat you down and did you hair then took you hand and told you the lay on the bed before getting lotion off the bedside table.

"Get comfortable and let me look after you." Jax must have spent an hour rubbing out your sore muscles and talking to you about nothing, as he went on, you spoke less and less, Jax smiling as you stopped making sense.

When Jax looked over your face, he saw you were fast asleep and stopped, dressing you in your PJs then covering you up and getting into bed next to you.

"Sleep well Darlin."

Part 46

Comments would really help, I hope I did Sam and Ima justice.

[acepalindrome]

Friends, if you enjoy D&D/tabletop actual plays or fantasy or just great stories and great characters that are equal parts hilarious and heartbreaking, I am begging you on bended knee to give NADDPOD (Not Another D&D Podcast) a try. It is truly so good and never gets enough love. To compare to other well know actual plays, it’s closest in vibe to TAZ Balance, so I would especially recommend it if you love TAZ Balance.

The episodes are about 90 minutes long on average and are very listenable. I tend to get bored with combat in actual plays sometimes, but the fights in NADDPOD are so fun and fast paced while not cutting any of the zaniness of a bunch of goobers playing D&D.

And what do you like? World building? DM Murph’s worlds are so fun and fresh and play around with existing D&D concepts of alignments and gods in ways that are so very satisfying.

How about some fantastic characters? The PCs are so entertaining and can be extremely goofy but they will make you cry, that is a threat and a promise. And Murph’s NPCs range from being complex and fascinating and lovable to the biggest shithead losers that are so fun to hate.

Want some queer characters? We got you covered, both the main campaigns and Trinyvale have canon queer PCs who end up in canon relationships.

Okay, but where do you start? There are two main campaigns and a ton of side stuff! I would recommend starting either Campaign 1 (Bahumia) or Campaign 2 (Eldermourne.) I love Trinyvale but I don’t think it’s the best introduction to NADDPOD, and Hot Boy Summer is best saved for after finishing Campaign 1. If you listen to the Donkey Kong oneshots first you might die in real life. You gotta build up to that shit.

I think Campaign 1 is overall the stronger story, but it does take a bit to get really really good, about 12 episodes in. It’s fun enough before that, and you should listen to the first chunk to get to know the characters, but once you hit the Galaderon arc the show goes from about 7/10 to 12/10. The basic plot is that it’s the ‘campaign after the campaign.’ The world has already been saved by a team of legendary heroes, but it turns out maybe the world isn’t as saved as we thought and maybe those heroes actually fucked some things up in a pretty big way. ‘Kill your idols’ is a big theme and it’s fantastic.

Campaign 2 jumps right in and is good from the start, but it’s a much shorter campaign and it has some pacing issues. That said, it’s still an excellent campaign and I’ve been crying about the finale all day. This campaign takes place in a dark fairytale inspired world torn apart by a conflict between two gods, the Reaper and the Trickster. Deals a lot with religion and faith and how they can be used to manipulate (like me, Murph is an ex-Catholic and his portrayals of this stuff hit me so hard.)

One of my favorite things is how well NADDPOD balances humor and drama. It’s easily the funniest actual play I’ve ever listened to, and someday I will learn to stop listening to it on earphones when I’m out on public because I always end up laughing out loud like a weirdo. But when the drama hits? It’s so good and poignant and both campaigns have god-tier found families that constantly destroy my heart with how much they love each other and make each other better and stronger in their darkest times.

I really can’t say enough good about NADDPOD. Please give it a try if you haven’t. And then tell me all about it because I love seeing people enjoy my favorite things.

And also be warned that if you start with campaign 1, there is a long bit about dragon genitalia in the first episode. People either love it or hate it. You’ve gotta just get through it.

[rheallsim]

Hmm… who’s this goober? 🤔

Soooo… I wanted to try something new, and spent a while in CAS noodling around, making a new sim, and made one I liked. Opened the game, played a bit, then thought… what if I make this a LEPacy?

There is a lot of content from the EPs I haven’t played very thoroughly, and I’ve been wanting to do that. This is a good opportunity to deep dive into those!

I don’t know if I’ll share screenshots of this LEPacy very regularly, I want it to be rather casual so I don’t burn myself out. We’ll see how long I can keep it up!

I might mix and match the rules/goals for each generation between these two rulesets… whatever feels more fun!

More info/pictures under the cut. ^^

This is Gabrielle McKinley chatting up Travis Scott. She has the Soulmate aspiration, and the Good, Ambitious, and Cat Lover traits; though I might go back and edit the cat lover trait into a BG one, we’ll see. ^^

She does have a cat! This is Mosely:

He’s a fantastic Main Coon made by @pugownedplaysthesims​. As much as I love him, I’m not sure if he’ll stick around, since he’s not BG… but we’ll see!

The BFFs Summer Holiday, Liberty Lee, and Travis both show up for the welcome wagon. As does Kali Howe, the model sim I made to build my base save file, and model of my Eyebrow Packs 3 & 4. X)

Kali asked where Gabby had come from, and why she was now living in this boring spot in Willow Creek. I assume Gabby has little family, and came here to start fresh, but is feeling really directionless has no idea what to do now that she’s here. The possibilities are overwhelming.

Kali gives her some advice: Start simple. Take each day as it comes. Take this opportunity as a gift to start anew and rediscover herself and her interests. “Build a new you, on your terms!”

I think Gabby really resonated with this idea.

There were some plants already struggling to grow in the backyard, so Gabby decided to start nurturing them. It’s worth a shot! We’ll see how long she can keep up with this “gardening” thing…

She also tries her hand at fishing, thanks to the handy spot right outside her back door, and invites the whole crew to join her (sorry there was no room for you, Summer!).

She nabs a couple awesome fish for her first try and makes a few simoleons too, to help recover her moving/relocation expenses. Not bad!

The next morning her mind is made up. Her first day as an intern in the business career starts today, and she’s going to tackle this “new me” thing head on.

After a quick (mostly) BG makeover, shes ready to tackle the day. 💪

[japes-the-clown]

THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE: AN INVERSION ON “COMING OF AGE” FILMS AND A CRITICISM OF ADULTHOOD

Hi hello hey it’s me Jericho Jay “Japes” Marshall out here with a pretentious love letter to the filmmaking on display in nickelodeons The Spongebob Movie. Yes, I know it’s a kids movie. Yes, I know it’s not that deep. But I’m majoring in english, and deeply depressed, so I need to get this OUT and onto a PAGE.

I have watched this film many times over my lifetime, a few when i was just a kid, then in my early teens, even when i turned eighteen, and now, a month before i turn 20. Every time, I grow a new appreciation for the nuances that this movie brings to the table, and on my most recent watch my own deliverance from childhood makes me relate to the core themes the hardest I ever have. The Spongebob Movie isn’t just a movie about childhood, but a movie about adulthood.

Today, I’m going to make clear exactly how The Spongebob Squarepants Movie criticizes our understanding of adulthood and how society treats the neurodivergent, while effectively turning the “Coming of Age” genre on its head, within its 87 minute runtime.

START: CONSISTENT CHARACTERIZATION

One thing a lot of films (ESPECIALLY kids films) fail to nail is consistently showing aspects of a character throughout the runtime, enough that changes to a character feel impactful and justified instead of rushed and stifled. The best examples of movies that fail to do this are often the marvel movies that people tend to not remember- the first two thor movies, the avengers age of ultron, etc. In these movies, characters certainly have traits, but their personalities and motives can be very weak and make dramatic changes feel A LOT less dramatic. This can be seen in age of ultron, when quicksilver gave his own life to save someone else, which felt like nothing because he wasn't well developed. He wasn't particularly endearing, nor did him sacrificing his life contradict a part of his character. It felt very much like the writers trying to say "Look, this character which was once opposing the avengers, is now dying for one. Please cry." No hate to the writers of Age of Ultron, but it proves itself often to be an unmemorable part of the catalogue.

In the Spongebob Movie, the characterization is ON. POINT. After the introduction, with the pirates rushing in to watch spongebob, we get so much information regarding spongebob as a character.

Pictured: Spongebob holding a piece of cheese like an operator

The first scene of the plot is a dream sequence a large crowded scene at the Krusty Krab, with a customer not receiving cheese on his patty, and it being positioned in the same way as a bomb being located. In the dream, everyone is panicked, and Mr. Krabs is visibly distressed, almost like a damsel. Spongebob comes in, announcing his position as manager, much to the relief of Krabs. He goes in, and puts cheese on the burger (again, very akin to a bomb defusal scene), bringing the perturbed customer out safe and sound. Everyone lifts spongebob up as a hero, which is interrupted by his boat alarm.

This scene is JAM PACKED with stuff that both introduces the character to new watchers and introduces the crux of his arc to everyone else. Spongebob of course is very fond of the Krusty Krab, and wants to be the manager- he wants people to see him as cool, and as a responsible adult. He wants to be the sort of person that can be trusted with big responsibilities. And we also see, most importantly, that he is extremely childish through his faximile of what it meant to be adult. Everything is scaled up; it's a very silly situation, which well suits both the joke and his character as an inexperienced kid. This is one of the most direct ways to convey someone's character, because a dream can be interpreted as a direct port into a character's desires. This being the first introduction to the character in the movie sets the tone for EVERY following situation.

In the next few scenes you see Spongebob's real life, which involves his lengthy morning routine; his life is sort of whimsical, and so too is his routine. He showers by shoving a hose into himself till he bursts with water, he uses toothpaste to clean his eyes but not his teeth, and he puts on pants which he must fold to make. Again, all pretty solid jokes, but also very telling about his outlook. He is funny, weird, and childish, which is juxtaposed by the scene where he's- he's uh- showering with squidward. Squidward is an example of the "adult" that spongebob isn't. This has always been the case, but here his normal routine makes it very clear that other people in this world aren't like spongebob. They shower normally, they brush their teeth, they put their clothes on like normal. Spongebob's world is one of wonder and without responsibility, which makes it questionable as to whether he could handle one.

Pictured: Spongebob's room, adorned with childhood imagery

Pictured: Spongebob celebrating his position as a manager, despite Krabs saying that it was squidward who got it

Even his room in this scene screams "kid". He has toys strewn about, glow in the dark stars, and pictures of superheroes on the wall. He even says "Sorry about this calendar" as he rips a page, personifying inanimate objects as a kid would. The movie is telling you, "THIS CHARACTER IS A KID", but in a way that's masked because it's also just a set up for jokes. It's done so well, in my opinion, that it would go over your head because from your perspective you would be laughing along as spongebob did his wacky antics.

On top of that, his excitement for his assured managerial position at the Krusty Krab 2 continues to be bolstered. He marked it off with a cute drawing on his calendar, for those familiar he changes his normal "I'm ready" chant to "I'm ready- promotion-", and he's even already set up a party to celebrate at his favorite chain, Goofy Goobers, a child's entertainment restaurant similar to chucky cheese, albeit replacing pizza for ice cream. He hasn't just gotten excited, but has this childish anticipation for something which isn't even assured.

Spongebob arrives at the opening of the Krusty Krab 2, where he is so excited he can't contain his glee. He breaks the silence and makes members of the crowd uncomfortable, reinforcing again that spongebob is a standout in a world of adults, and a kid who doesn't understand certain social norms, which society looks down upon. When Krabs reveals that Squidward got the managerial position, Spongebob hyped himself so much that he starts celebrating, not even noticing that he wasn't picked. He gets on stage, and begins to give a speech, to which Krabs interrupts.

The next part I think best illustrates Spongebob's clear ignorance to society: Krabs attempts to subtly tell spongebob that he isn't getting the job, but spongebob repeats everything he says into the microphone. Again, fantastic joke, grade A, but the amount this shows how invested spongebob was. He already saw himself as an adult, someone who everyone would look up to as a manager- he could take the responsibility, and isn't aware of everyone likely cringing in the audience. This is the natural step for him in his mind, especially because of his exemplary work which had been previously celebrated through employee of the month awards. This was not an option for him. There wasn't a world in his mind where he would be outclassed by squidward.

Krabs has to break to him that he lacks responsibility, and that his childishness makes it difficult for Krabs to give him such a job. This might seem harsh, but I think the intro again shows how Spongebob saw the job; he didn't understand what it would be like, fantasizing another level in the menial work structure to be an amazing adventure of a job. People in the crowd reaffirm that in the eyes of society, spongebob is just a kid, a goofball. In my eyes, this is a story not just of childhood, but of neurodivergence. Spongebob isn't normal, and is blocked by society for his ignorance of social norms and sunny disposition. He finds things fun that other people can not, and he places values in completely different things. So he is blocked from the meaningful recognition he desired, despite the obvious evidence of his commitment.

I think this is a mighty interesting dichotomy!!! Simultaneously, spongebob's understanding of the world truly is warped, often resulting in a lack of consideration for others as well as harm for himself when things don't go his way, AND he is a good worker which puts in MANY hours of work without so much of a complaint. This is COMPLEX. You have to ask yourself, as a viewer, "would I give spongebob the job?" The answer can be different and can be REASONED.

And that's JUST spongebob! There are other characters with characterization that mixes into the themes of the movie very well, but I'm going to bring up any related points in future sections.

Okay, Okay. So now you're saying "WOW OKAY GREAT so why does any of this matter?" I'm so glad you asked. VERY glad.

2: THE BREAKING OF A YOUNG MAN'S SPIRIT

THIS is the point of the movie. The obstacle in this movie truly isn't adulthood, but instead self doubt. Spongebob's whole world is turned upside down by Krab's rejection of his basic personality. Spongebob asks himself: is it REALLY okay to be who I am? Am I an adult? Is the world fair? One of the most shocking scenes in the movie is blended so well in tone with the rest that you don't really notice; spongebob eating ice cream to cope with his disappointment, akin to that of adults drinking alcohol, and appearing to be visually "drunk" and washed up. This is BRILLIANT, and a recurring theme, where the true line between adult and childhood becomes blurry and impossible to see. Spongebob, the representation of a kid, gets hungover, spiteful, and angry about the injustice of his situation. This is often how adults act in the fact of adversity, but what's funny is that this too is how a kid would act; getting angry and overindulging, feeling entitled and acting socially immature when he didn't get what he wanted. He walks in to the Krusty Krab literally just to shit talk Krabs. And it doesn't stop there.

Pictured: Plankton finding "Plan Z" and looking at it like a centerfold in a playboy magazine

Almost every character in this movie juxtaposes another, again smearing the line of what it means to be an adult. For example, Spongebob and Plankton are polar opposites; plankton is cold and vengeful, angry at the world around him, and spongebob is a happy person who tends not to take things personally, a friend to all. In planktons first appearances in the movie, he is portrayed with clear adult themes, mocking spongebob, making pinup jokes about plan z, and living in a fairly dark and grey space. But, as the story moves along, we see many similarities; both spongebob and plankton are fairly one track minded, and when spongebob's perception is broken he himself gets a little vengeful. When eugene is put in danger over this, though, we do see that he places the lives of others over his own wants. And, even at the end of the movie, we see their similarities. Plankton reuses the "Sorry Calendar" joke that spongebob used at the start of the movie, drawing another line of what it means to be an adult. Is it childish of plankton to say that? Is the inherent irony he has impactful here? His want for something that isn't his, and his disregard for others in pursuing it feels just like how a younger child may steal the toy of another, without understanding what it means to share.

Pictured: Neptune flipping his shit at his lost crown

Then, there's the character of Neptune. Neptune is a big man baby. He rules the entire land, commands the most respect, and is considered the most powerful person under the sea, and yet, we see that he gets overprotective of his property, prepared to execute anyone who even annoys him. Throughout the film, he's obsessed with chasing an image of youth, as he is bald, and ignores the suffering of the people on bikini bottom to make sure no one sees his bald head. He throws what's equivalent to a tantrum when he finds his crown is missing, and believes a very crude note written by plankton saying that it was eugene who stole it. His character is an "acceptable" child because he's in a position of power, where spongebob is an "unacceptable" child as he is just a working class member of society. And the funniest part is, that he mocks spongebob for wanting to go for the crown, when even he, the strongest person in bikini bottom, refuses to go out of fear.

We see that these "bastions" of adulthood, plankton and neptune, are the ones who are responsible for missteps of society; we're ALL children in the long run, but the strict enforcement of a perceived true adulthood creates a space where they can act immaturely yet those under them/around them cannot. Dennis makes this case even more, as the only thing he does in this movie is hurt others. There's only one thing that seems to truly denote adulthood, and it's cruelty.

Even squidward, the adult that is supposed to be more responsible that spongebob, refuses to go on the quest to retrieve the crown, as he acts mostly in self interest, even later claiming to only care that plankton was stealing the secret formula as it was hurting his own paycheck.

Spongebob is the only one willing to go, willing to defend the man who wronged him, willing to value life over his own interests. He is both child and adult, just as the adults are too children.

As he moves through the plot of this film, he becomes less confident in his disposition, with his naivete causing moments like him and patrick crossing the state line and immediately getting carjacked, or them being put into an uncomfortable situation by all the bubbles they blew when they tried to get their car back. His bright personality is questioned constantly: Only five days to shell city? BY CAR. This is man's country. But weren't we the double bubble blowing babies?

Pictured: Spongebob caught trying to take back the key to the patty wagon when patrick fails to distract everyone

This is made more obvious to him as patrick remains oblivious throughout; patrick is a mirror for him, that acts as a childhood constant, that makes it clearer for him every day the draws of his childishness. There's the moment in the club where patrick's distraction was poorly thought out, and only because he said he wanted to do it adamantly, there's the moment where patrick challenged neptune on how many days they would have to do it, which served no purpose but for his own fun, there's the moment patrick points out the free ice cream trap- he is the unemployed uncritical lens that spongebob is afraid he is.

So everything's fucked, and anyone who is childish is bad i guess!!!

But that isn't so,

3: The illusion of manhood

So we've talked about spongebob's characterization as a naive child, how this is impactful in his transformation into someone who is anxious about that aspect of his personality, and how the society around him is hypocritical in it's own immaturity. But where does this all come together?

Pictured: Planktons dystopian world, which Mindy shows Spongebob and Patrick

It's at spongebob and patricks "conversion to manhood". At his lowest point, spongebob becomes a squidward- he becomes critical of his AND patricks interests, and regards them as childish, deciding that this means that they can't make it to shell city, as it requires them to be adults. When mindy shows them the dire situation back home, she hopes that spongebob's sunny personality and care for others would shine through, but instead he turns to what society has been telling him; it's impossible. He can't do it, he's just a little kid, and there is no point to any of this as he'll fail regardless.

Thinking about it like this, it truly is one of the darkest points in the entire series; spongebob just openly admitted that there was nothing he could do, that all of his friends were goners because he was effectively useless.

Mindy comes up with an idea; she'll trick spongebob and patrick into believing they're men; she convinces them of mermaid magic (their innocence allowing them to believe) and uses kelp to make them think they've matured into adults. Notice that physical modifiers being the only key to this "fake adulthood". With this, they jump off a cliff because they believe that with adulthood, they are invincible.

This is really telling about how the society they're in thinks of being an adult, and relays that to children. There's another level, a distinct separation between spongebob and adulthood, which seemed like the difference between a squire and a knight- being an adult means that you aren't weak anymore (as though he was weak in the first place), and thus you can do things you never thought before. Is it truly healthy that this is how a society tells kids that adulthood is like, for them to enter the world and feel a truly awful financial and literal hellscape waiting for them? uh, you can, you can decide that for yourself i think.

Nonetheless, they survive the fall, and conclude that they really are invincible, able to power through a ravine with their happy go lucky attitude, eventually befriending the monsters which were once trying to kill them. They weren't acting like adults, but the labels themselves made it possible for them to soldier on with the childlike disposition they had. I find that to be powerful. If we were able to be more hopeful as adults, and power through the worst things brightly, could we do great things? Idk but these depression meds sure do taste good nom nom

After crossing the ravine, spongebob and patrick meet dennis, and have their worldview crushed as it's revealed that they are actually still kids. Dennis being the "alpha male" that he is, is characterized by violence and a lack of morality. The pair are saved by a giant boot, which is the first of two humans in this movie. Spongebob and patrick are both taken by the man in the diver suit, as we fade to black, marking the end of their illusion of adulthood.

4: Back from the Edge (of death)

Spongebob and Patrick awaken in an antique shop, realizing that they were surrounded by fish that had been killed specifically for sale as tacky antiques. They are lifted out of their fishbowl, and put under a heatlamp, as their fate is sealed to become a member among those dead fish. In spongebob's final moments, he mourns his inability to be an adult, as well as to reach shell city; but before they both die, patrick points out that they truly did reach shell city, as the crown was within their reach.

This. This is a phenomenal scene. Why? Because of what it means for spongebob's arc.

Pictured: Spongebob and Patrick on their deathbeds, finding happiness

He sees the crown, and realizes that, unequivocally, that even if he didn't bring the crown back, he made it to shell city. Every person he met told him that he couldn't even do that. and he did it. He is a kid, yes, but he's a kid who went where not even NEPTUNE dared go. Everything people said about him, about how him being a kid stopped him from success, was suddenly shattered. He has been asking himself if it's okay that he is a kid, and he saw, unambiguously, that it is. He is allowed to be happy. He can enjoy things that other people don't. He can be naive. He can be himself, no matter what anyone says. And so can you. Great things can be done by people who are "childish", who are "naive", who are kind without expecting a return, all of it. YOU are okay. Your stims are okay, your comfort series are okay, your interest in tropes are okay, YOU'RE OKAY!!!!

with that, spongebob and patrick are dehydrated on the table, and ostensibly die, the kids that they are, shedding one final tear each, forming a heart beneath them.

...

Miraculously, the tear electrocutes that lamp at it's socket, causing smoke to rise and set off the sprinklers, rehydrating the pair, and bringing them back to life. The "Man in the Suit" attempts to capture them, seeing them about to lift Neptune's crown, but the rest of the dehydrated fish come back to life- squirting him with his own glue and beating him to the ground, as spongebob and patrick run out with the crown. David Hasselhoff offers them a ride back to Bikini Bottom, and the pair begin their ride back.

5: The confrontation of Adulthood and Childhood

Pictured: Dennis looking all lame and shit

As spongebob and patrick are being swam back to bikini bottom, the boot under which dennis was crushed rockets to Hasselhoff, spitting him back out to finish the job. The appearance of Dennis, IN MY OPINION, makes him look rather goofy, with his broken glasses making him look more like a office worker than a badass assassin as he attempts to kill spongebob and patrick. Spongebob, in trying to reason with him, is able to ruin his eyes with bubbles, and then survives as dennis gets hit by a raised platform which spongebob and patrick are too low to be hit by.

Having defeated one representation of adulthood, spongebob and patrick are shot down by HasselHoffs MASSIVE MAN TITS with the crown in order to prevent Krab's fate, blocking Neptune's lazer just in time as they crash in.

All seems to be well, but plankton uses one of his mind control helmets (which we'll be getting into later) to enslave even Neptune, putting mindy, spongebob, patrick, and Krabs against the wall.

In another stark moment of characterization, Spongebob tells patrick that "Plankton Cheated", which prompts plankton to tell spongebob that the situation wasn't a kiddy game, and that it was the real world. This sort of distinctions in their ethos tell you how spongebob interacts with justice; he believes in "playing fair", while plankton is bitter and believes in getting what he wants.

Finally, the apex to our plot, is a musical number. Spongebob begins to make a long-winded speech, where he takes ownership of every label he was called as he stood on the stage at the beginning, the similarity between the two events being clear (holding a microphone at an inappropriate time, making a speech as he blocks out input from an adult trying to talk him down). Spongebob then busts out into the film's rendition of Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock", "I'm a Goofy Goober". This results in spongebob reversing plankton's whole plot with "the power of rock and roll". Plankton is made powerless, and thrown into a little padded cell.

The final scene in the movie has Mr. Krabs freed from his imprisonment in ice, and spongebob is offered squidwards position as manager of the second Krusty Krab. He seems hesitant, and squidward offers an insightful analysis of what spongebob might be feeling (the typical analysis of a coming of age movie, where the protagonist finds out that what they wanted all along is not what they wanted, but it was what was inside all along). Spongebob refutes that squidwards fly was just down, and GLADLY accepts the job.

AND THAT'S THE MOVIE

6: AN INVERSION ON THE COMING OF AGE GENRE

A coming of age story tends to be one which is focus on the growth of a character from childhood to adulthood, asking questions about what it means to be an adult. A character reaches for their perceived adulthood, and realizes what it means to ACTUALLY be an adult, typically juxtaposing what people think (drugs, parties, sex) versus what the movie postures as the correct adulthood (responsibility). In this, I think that the spongebob movie directly criticizes the position of what "an adult" is, in the sense of how someone acts.

Like we discussed in part 2, every adult character in this movie tends to be very childish in themselves, unable to see through simple ruses, and often very possessive of personal property. I don't think we actually see a child in this movie as a speaker at any point, only really as background characters (in goofy goobers to solidify spongebob as childish, and I believe in the chum bucket as they're lead to an unsafe place by their parents, who are supposed to be responsible). Thus, what is mostly examined is how adulthood and childhood is a very thin line. Squidward, for example, going directly to plankton to accuse him of stealing the formula, instead of taking it to the top immediately, which would have ended this whole thing fairly quickly; that was rather silly, and was the fruit of his need to assert himself as an adult.

Spongebob goes through this movie FIRST not caring much about whether or not he was an adult, and it is only after the social pressure from adults does he start to chase it. He then chases his perceived image of an adult, going on an adventure, and is crushed by the fact that he isn't an adult. Instead of finding what an adult is, he instead becomes comfortable with his existence as a child, finding himself at the end of the movie able to comfortably chase after an ideal again, where in a normal movie he would humbly reject the job he was offered.

This is, truly, what we should all take from this film. Spongebob realizes that people who aren't necessarily socially adjusted or acceptable can do great things, regardless of what the people around them say, especially because the people around them are liable to throw tantrums and be actively harmful to society. He is allowed to find comfort in childish things, and to be naive, because the world needs more people willing to help others. It's a scathing criticism on the imposed adulthood that exists in a lot of coming of age films, which begs us to drop fun in the interest of doing the right thing, as though those two ideas are contradictory.

BONUS: EXTRA STUFF THAT I LIKED

The goofy goober song became really good storytelling, at first marking childishness, then marking a level of discomfort and judgement in the club, then marking spongebob recognizing that his happiness came from what he liked and not some vague idea of adulthood, and finally marking his full acceptance of his childishness, taking the form of rock, the music of rebellion. It's not as subtle as leitmotifs, but it works really well in how the same song can give very different feelings throughout, and inform how we interact with a story.

There are a lot more examples of adults being pressured into childishness, with the connected twins who liked goofy goober at the club, who were beaten senseless for absolutely no reason, which highlights the way that the society hurts people that, by all means, are just as much adults as anyone else. There's of course Plankton's helmets which created a society of people who simply slaved away with nothing to say, taking life as it came and listening to authority.

On top of that, this movie is PRETTY ANTICAPITALIST AND ANTIMONARCHY, despite those things being allowed to continue to exist at the end- monarchy is seen misusing power constantly and often for unfounded reasons, and Spongebob's diligence at work is rejected by a penny pinching Krabs, who cares only about money. Like, THE KRUSTY KRABS ARE RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER? THAT IS SOME MONTY PYTHON ASS SHIT. This year is the first year i laughed at that joke, because it's really some "capitalists are fucking dumb as shit" humor that slipped over my head when i was a kid. The villain literally being defeated by Rock and Roll, which was sung with a message against the oppression of differences in people? Yeah, I think the spongebob movie hated rich mother fuckers.

END: UH YEAH THAT'S WHAT IT IS

So yeah. The movie is good I think. There's a lot more i could go into, but I've been writing this post for hours and at this point i haven't even read it so...

I recommend going back and giving this film a rewatch!!! Pay attention to all the moments where adults act like children/kids act like adults, because it'll make ur brain pop like a zit. Anyways that's me, I'm Jericho Jay "Japes" Marshall, and I HATE facism.

[neeterloveschenford]

RNM 3x03

Hey y’all! Was last night amazing or what! We finally got Malex!!!!!! We got Echo, Delmanes, and Kybel as well. So many good things happened. Let’s dive right in.

Poor Max. Poor Liz. Why did they use each other’s last names. (Weird) And then we segue right into Ortecho sister’s quality time. I love it when they bicker. They are so realistic when they do.

Broody Michael breaks my heart. And Jones is such an asshole the way he’s working Michael and Isobel. Which brings us right into broody Alex. (I love these two goobers.) I’m not sure whether Eduardo is good or bad, but I sure do like him. Also sassy Alex (Men who stare at goats, LOL) gives me life.

I do love Isobel and Maria sassing each other. I am enjoying the mystery of who gets murdered, but I am now convinced it’s not Michael for sure. And I think all the Sanders clues are red herrings. I still think it’s going to be Rosa. I don’t think she’ll actually die, cause they’ll figure it out before then, but she’s my leading contender. Also, don’t think I didn’t notice Max put up a card with Arturo’s name on it. Get that man off your murder board dude. If Arturo dies, we ALL riot!! And this is just what Michael needs. He truly believes he deserves to die, especially now that he knows who his father is.

Love that Isobel is seeing visions now. I’m hoping that next week when she and Maria take their “journey” that it’ll be her dreamwalking. I always loved that power of hers.

Have I mentioned that Kyle is the MVP of this season? I love his reaction to learning that there is another Max. And as much as he dislikes Max, you can see how much he cares about him. He’s just good through and through. I love him. He’s also totally done with Liz. The way he called her out on all of the things she did last season was fantastic! Max and Liz needed to hear everything he had to tell them.

Jones is so sneaky. I just love to hate him! He is working Isobel so hard. But I think it’s going to backfire. She’s going to embrace her empathic nature and read him like a book. I get the sense that Louise was able to sense the evil in him and that was how they knew that he was the enemy. Perhaps there was even a relationship between Jones and Louise. Maybe he’s even Isobel’s father! (Yeah, farfetched, but I determined to see him be somebody’s daddy!)

Ok, I don’t care what anyone else says, I am digging Delmanes! They are cute together. And I am not upset in the least that Alex ships it too. Look, I know I have had my issues with Maria. I think 2x06 is one of the most toxic episodes of tv out there. But I’m not going to blame Maria on something that was clearly all about Carina. I’m willing to chalk that episode up to a weird fever dream and go from there. She’s interesting this year. And one thing that makes that possible for me is her relationship with Greg. He’s honestly everything that Michael tried and failed to be when they were together. And Alex explicitly said in that episode that he could never hate her. They are best friends and everyone that hates either needs to suck it up or find another show to watch. She ain’t going anywhere. And if she can find her happiness with Greg, then so be it.

BERT!!! It’s been so long! I’ve missed him so much. And what is up with this Jordan? What an ass! Doesn’t he know he’s going to go the way of Racist Hank? I like the way everybody doesn’t know what to do with not racist Wyatt. As long as we dont’ get a romance between Wyatt and Rosa, I’m going to see where it goes. Could be interesting.

Back to my boy Kyle and him calling Liz out for all her nonsense. She needs to hear this! The cost of all of her unethical experiments was too much. I hope between this and her talk with Rosa she will begin to understand that she can’t play God with everyone else’s lives.

I LOVED Alex and Greg. Greg laid some truths on Alex that he definitely needs to hear (Are we sensing a theme in this episode?) Greg’s right. Why didn’t Alex join one of the other branches of the military? Why did he choose the one that his father was in? Alex has to rid himself of Jesse’s voice in his head. When he does, then he’ll finally be in the headspace to have a real relationship with Michael. And whether it’s good or bad, I think Deep Sky is going to be the catalyst for that growth.

And of course Michael is spoiling for a fight. And this Jordan creep is going to be the perfect target for him. (Also, protect Bert at all costs!) And did Max not notice the dudes in the alien masks? Didn’t a group of them attack Maria like one day ago?

Which brings us to my new favorite Malex scene. OMG! It was less than two minutes, but it packed such an emotional impact. Alex laid his own truths on Michael that were harsh but so so true. Michael has always held himself to a different standard than anyone else. Could he have been gentler? I don’t think so. I think it was exactly what Michael needed. And then we get the closest to a present day I love you than we’ve ever gotten. If Michael died, Alex would burn the world down. That’s how much he loves him. After everything that has happened between them. Despite the fact that they don’t know if they will ever truly be together. In spite of the fact that they haven’t been together in two years, Alex still loves him enough to destroy anyone who would dare to hurt Michael. We got feral Michael last season. By God I want feral Alex this season. I think we’ve earned it. (Also, MICHAEL GAVE ALEX A PRETTY ROCK! That could be the most unintentionally romantic thing he’s ever done.)

I also loved the fact that that emotional moment led right into the Liz and Max emotional moment. Max is so willing to let himself die just to protect Liz. And I think Liz is finally starting to see the damage she did to their relationship. It was easy to run off to the west coast and blame Max for everything from afar. But now she’s seeing first hand the damage she’s done.

Which led right into the emotional Kybel moment. (The shipping was strong this episode!) I love how she cares about him taking care of himself. And that is exactly what Kyle needs. Someone who sees him for the hero he is and wants to protect and cherish him. If they don’t happen, then I just don’t know what I’m gonna do. (Besides cry hysterically.)

I’m digging the whole mystery of the machines. Alex’s machine turning on and being amped up by the pretty rock that he got from Michael. And it turning on Kyle’s radio from his father. What things have you been hiding all these years Jim Valenti?

Poor Max doesn’t realize how dangerous Jones really is. It’s no wonder Jones is free now. It’s going to be interesting how everyone figures it out.

It amazed me that there was absolutely zero things that I disliked in this episode. All three episodes have been absolutely fantastic so far. I am just loving everything that has happened. I cannot wait for what’s to come. I just know it’s going to be so much goodness.

As always I have some theories that are percolating in my brain. I will be posting about those later. But until then, hope everyone has a wonderful week! I will see you all this time next week!