#do they make me anxious anyway? also yes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

parfaitblogs · 3 months ago

Text

making the bed ❀ s. reid x reader

in which your night crumbles around you, and spencer is happy to pick up the pieces.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: hurt/comfort tags: established relationship. (prior) alcohol consumption. reader is semi-drunk (but sobers up). post drinking depression. healthy alcohol information/discussion 🫡 word count: 2.1k a/n: do not read too much into this for you will begin to question why i still enjoy going clubbing. (joke...) 😄 plsss tell me if u liked this or even if u didnt thank u i love uuuuuu

Alcohol is a depressant.

You remembered the God awful lecture your boyfriend had given you when you woke up one Sunday morning with this feeling of existential dread, and nothing to pin it to. A ramble about how alcohol can temporarily increase the body's production of dopamine and serotonin when entering, causing a worse crash of both chemicals when it leaves. Leaving you, evidently, depressed and anxious after a big night.

You knew that.

You also knew how quick you were to seclude within your mind when you were with people. Too many drinks and not enough social interaction tended to lead to your own isolation, sitting on the outer edge of the booth, absentmindedly playing with the charm on the end of your phone.

The room no longer spun the way it had an hour ago. You missed when it spun. When it spun, you weren't thinking about how little you had to contribute to the conversations your friends were having. You weren't tallying up how many drinks you had already drank, then falling flat when you realised you couldn't remember, and that was a thought more horrifying than knowing it was over ten. You were fun, when the room was a carousel.

Now, it's simply overwhelming. Loud chattering from both your table, and the surrounding ones. Clinking of glasses at the bar. A sports game on the television across the room. Balls on a pool table being dispersed for the first time in a game. Dancing feet. Music. People. So many fucking people.

Your phone buzzes against the table, and you pick it up before any of your friends could turn their heads to see where the vibrations were coming from. You figured they were too drunk to conclude it was you, anyways. Or to care.

Spencer had texted you fifteen minutes ago to check in on you, and though it wasn't long ago, you not responding immediately in a flurry of half strung together sentences and emojis was worrying for him. That was probably why his name was now lighting up your screen, a funny photo of him mid-bite of an ice cream as his contact photo, enlarged.

You hadn't responded for no reason other than the fact that you had no will to. Which should've been a big enough red flag to yourself that you should text him, and you should ask if he can pick you up. Thankfully, he loved to prove how well he could read you, and he was calling you anyways.

"Hi," you mumble into the phone, angling your body away from your friends, hand held up to your other ear to block out some of the noise the best you could.

"Hi," he parrots back to you. "You okay?"

An automatic yes manifests on your tongue, but you're quick enough to keep it to yourself before you can lie to him. Instead, you let out a quiet, "No."

He seems to have expected that answer, for he leaves no silence in between your admission and his response. "What can I do to help?" He also seems to be expecting your hesitance at asking him for anything that would require him to move, because he adds, "I can pick you up. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Yes. Please?"

"I'm already leaving," he tells you, and you can hear his shoes against the wooden floor of his apartment to confirm that. "Did something happen? Are you safe?"

"No, nothing happened. I'm safe," you reassure him. "I started feeling sick so I stopped drinking an hour ago. Now I'm just sad."

"You remember what I told you about it being a depressant?"

"Vividly," you mutter, and while it isn't meant to be funny, you hear him huff a short laugh anyways. It makes you feel a little better.

"It's important to know," he defends. "I'm sorry I shared important information with you."

"Mm."

Your lack of a verbal response was expected, but he still hated the sound of it regardless. You heard him sigh. "I have to hang up now. I'll be there in forty minutes. Will you be okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you too."

No matter how much time had passed, your head lifted every time the door — that your group was so conveniently close to — opened, letting in a rush of cool air and sobering you up with every hit of it.

True to his word, Spencer was entering the bar after forty minutes, face scrunching up at the sudden onslaught of noises and visual stimuli. Same boat as you, only he had not a drop of alcohol in his body. At least you weren't crazy about it being overstimulating.

"This is why I don't go to bars," he says once he's approached your booth, and you had stood up next to you, his hand finding an automatic place on your waist.

"It's usually not this bad," you tell him, but he decides not to ask you anything else upon hearing just how exhausted your voice sounds. You're grateful for that.

The goodbye to your friends is quick, Spencer rattling off a lie about him needing you home for he had work early the next morning, and you only had one key to the apartment. Even the friends who knew that wasn't the case didn't comment on it, and you made a pointless mental note to thank them for it later. You knew you wouldn't.

The drive home was even faster. Silence, aside from the rush of the wind from your slightly cracked window as Spencer drove, that helped the sick feeling in your stomach from the alcohol you had consumed.

It didn't seem to help the hollowness of your chest, though.

You weren't sure if anything would, really. A chemical imbalance in your brain — even one as temporary as the deflation from being drunk — was hard to fix without medication. It would go away, yes. But then you would make the mistake of drinking once more, and you would find yourself back in this brain peeling predicament.

You showered alone. Despite Spencer's offer to join you, and your own personal desire for him to be there with you. It didn't help your fogged mind at all, and you were exiting the bathroom feeling like you had retreated further into your bones. Every movement felt clunky, your skin a heavy coat to your skeleton, restricting your movement down to short shuffles and barely lifted arm movements.

He was reading when you reentered your bedroom, and you've never seen him put a book and his glasses back on his bedside table faster. He looked visibly tired. Keeping himself awake a seemingly difficult struggle, that you could feel your body heading towards to as well.

"Hey," he says as you climb into the bed, and he's very patient as you figure out what position you want your bodies in. Head on his chest, but next to him, you had decided on, and his fingers entangled into your hair.

"Hi," you mumble, staring up at the ceiling, counting brush strokes of the paint, as if it were possible to.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You huff at the phrase, tilting your head upwards so your eyes could land on him. "Do you have a penny?"

He pauses, then angles his head closer towards yours. "Okay, kiss for your thoughts?"

"That'll just distract me."

"Is that what you want?"

You should say no. Arguably the last thing you should be doing when you're sad is let intimacy with your boyfriend distract you. But then again, you're not the best advocate for healthy coping mechanisms anyways.

"Maybe."

"Maybe?" he muses, and his lips brush against yours. Your heart flutters.

"I don't really know what I want," you settle on telling him, honestly. "I want my brain to shut up."

His body deflates beneath you, and you feel guilt chip away up your spine at the killing of the less depressing atmosphere.

"Sorry," you mumble.

"No. It's good. Be honest with me," he reassures you, quietly. His fingers tap at your scalp, "What's going on up here?"

"I'll cry if I try to verbalise it."

"Crying's good for you, you know," he hums.

"I'm pretty sure I still have eyeliner in my waterline. I'll just stain your sheets," you retort.

"Yeah, probably. That's fine."

You're silent for a few moments, gathering your thoughts in your brain the best you could despite yourself, before you sit up, his hand dropping to the bed beside you.

"I just don't like being... here? Out? I don't know. I'm just really sick of being sad every time I drink. Is there something wrong with me? Did you get sad whenever you drank? Everyone else I know loves going out for drinks because they have fun and they're giggly drunks, or they're clingy drunks. And if I drink too much then I'm a fucking sad drunk, and I'm the only person I know that gets that way. I want to be normal."

He's silent your entire rant, and then some, waiting for your heaving chest to slow, having caught the few tears that slipped down your cheeks. You were grateful — you needed that time.

He reaches a hand out, and you let him tug you back down to the bed, slotting your body atop his own, just so he could see you properly.

"To answer your question, no, I didn't get sad when I drank," he says, brushing your hair out of your face, before his hands rest on either side of your face. "But I wasn't really happy, either. I just talked more."

"You already talk a lot."

His lips twitch. "I do. Double whatever you think my worst is, and that was me drunk. Focus on the part where I said I wasn't a happy drunk, please."

"But you weren't sad. So there is something wrong with me."

"No, there's not. Alcohol is a depressant," he punctuates his words with a kiss to your nose, which you gratefully accept despite your emotions. "Are you willing to give up alcohol as a whole?"

"My friends will think I'm boring, then."

He hesitates in his response, but ultimately settles on asking, "Do you think I'm boring because I don't drink?"

"No. Obviously not. And you have a real reason for not drinking, so—"

"—and being sad isn't a real reason to not drink?"

Taken aback by his sudden sternness, you go quiet, breath hitching within your throat. He was right, ultimately. No reason is reason enough. You knew that.

Sensing your discomfort at his tone, he expels a breath of air and lowers his hands down to your hips. His voice drops to something a little less harsh, as he murmurs, "You are allowed to not want to drink alcohol if you don't like the way it makes you feel. If your friends think you're boring for that, then they're not worth it."

You silently nod your head, beginning to curse your emotional regulators. For while you had kept your tears at bay for the vast majority of this conversation, it seemed all it took was the gentle rubbing of circles onto your hip bones, and a fact checked piece of life advice from your boyfriend to make you cry.

"Sorry," you sniffle, dropping your head to the crook of his neck to hide your newly tear stricken face.

"Crying's good for you," he repeats his earlier words, and feels you nod your head. "You don't have to decide tonight. I'd encourage you not to, actually. You're technically still intoxicated."

"I'm sober," you protest, weakly.

"Okay, honey." He's only agreeing with you to wane any further argument. "I don't think your friends will think you're boring, though, if that's any help."

"I don't think they will either."

He nods his head, and you're relaxing against him a little more.

"Are you just trying to not be the only loser who doesn't drink?" you mumble, voice muffled by his skin.

"You've caught me."

He relishes in the laugh that leaves your lips, and he places the gentlest of kisses on the side of your head, which prompts you to lift it to look at him again.

"You're not a loser for not drinking," you say, and his lips pull into a smile.

He leans his head up, brushing his lips against yours, despite the mix of mint toothpaste and alcohol on your tongue. "I know. You wouldn't be either."

"I know."

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

986 notes · View notes

woso-dreamzzz · 1 month ago

Text

Helper:Christmas

Arsenal Women x Child!Reader

Summary: Christmas with Guppy

"I...I don't understand. What's...What's going on?"

"Just keeping holding it up," Codi whispers to Rosa, who looks like she's about to lower the tinsel that she's holding up.

"I don't get it. What's going on?"

"We're decorating the tree."

"No, I get that. But why are we holding it up in a line?"

On her other side, Leah huffs. "Because Lia's raising a kid who doesn't like mess and gets freaked out by Christmas trees. Ow! Lia!"

Lia's elbow, none too kindly, digs a bit further into Leah's ribs.

"Don't make fun of her!" She snaps, imaginary hackles raised in annoyance at Leah's dismissal before turning to Rosa to explain, much more kindly. "Guppy...She gets a bit overwhelmed about this kind of stuff and these cretins like to go overboard until the tree's a big mess. So, Guppy gets to pick the theme and then we all decorate. Leah's exaggerating."

"I'm just saying! Maybe exposure therapy will be good for her! I love her, Lia, I do. You know that. But you have to admit, this-"

Lia whips her beads at Leah in annoyance.

"Alrigh! Alright! I get it! Sorry!"

Lia's not finished though as she points to practically everyone in line in turn. "None of you are allowed to talk about that kind of stuff while y/n's in the room too, do you understand? She's sensitive and I'm not letting any of you make it worse!"

"I think they get it," Mario intervenes quickly," No one wants to make her feel bad."

Rosa's kind of glad that Mariona did. She's never seen Lia angry before. Annoyed, yes. Overtired, yes. But never angry. Not truly anyway but she's heard how protective Lia gets over you.

You're not really an oddball. You're not overwhelmingly weird either. But something that Rosa's noted is that you're very particular. She's never met a child so particular in her life. You like things done in a certain way.

You get all fidgety and anxious if you're not allowed to do things in the way you want and tend to start things over if it hasn't gone perfectly. You flick the lights on and off twice in whatever room you leave and you always knock on doors twice.

Rosa's seen you on the team bus, getting Lia to buckle and unbuckle your seatbelt twice over just before the bus sets off to whatever away match they need to get to.

You're just...

Different.

It's clear that Lia knows that too and a lot of her energy is put into making sure no one makes you think that you don't fit in.

"Alright!" Kim comes in holding your hand and from what Rosa strains to hear from Mario and Lia's conversation, this is normal too.

Kim helps you pick out the theme.

You both whisper together, Kim clearly going along with your childish wonder and happiness. She crouches down at your side as you look between Rosa and Kyra's tinsel.

Rosa's holding a red one and Kyra's holding a gold one.

Kyra wiggles it enticingly in your face but your features all scrunch up at once as you move away from Kim to take Rosa's hand and then to choose Codi and her matching green tinsel as well.

"Alright," Kim says," And what about baubles?"

"Er..." You look at the rest of the team and all the baubles they hold up to you, suddenly overwhelmed with choices.

You look at Leah's glittery baubles and shake your head.

"Not-Not glitter ones."

Then you catch sight of Lia and Mario, immediately breaking away from Kim to go crashing into them.

"Mummy!" You gasp," You bought the special beads from home!"

Wound around what looks to be an old piece of cardboard, is a long string of silver beads.

"I did," Lia says," Because our tree is too little for them this year. I thought we could use them on the Arsenal tree."

You nod, head bobbing up and down happily before you also take Mario's hand, dragging her into your little group of chosen people without even looking at the bauble in her hands.

"Nah!" Leah complains," This is so unfair! Why can't I be chosen?"

"Because you clearly didn't choose a good bauble this year," Beth teases," Not like me."

"Not Beth's bauble either," You say to Kim.

"Wait...What? Come on, come back!"

Decorating the tree is a team effort because while you may have been the one to make your selection, you're much too small to decorate it all by yourself and Rosa's found herself with you on her shoulders as you strain to put a candy cane onto the tree.

"Careful," Lia warns her," Keep straight or she'll fall."

"Rosa's doing fine," Steph says," And it's not like Guppy is going to start throwing herself around. She's very responsible."

"I am, Mummy!" You say," Very responsible! I helped Mrs Gina find the missing gluestick lid yesterday!"

So, Lia ends up worrying from a distance and insists on being the one to lift you up so you can put the star on the tree before letting you down and leading you from the room without any more preamble.

"What's happening now?" Rosa whispers as it looks like everyone starts sitting down on the floor in a little circle that she has no option but to join.

"Lia's been doing this since Guppy was born," Caitlin explains," We're getting presents now. It was pretty cute the first time, little gifts in baby y/n's hands. It was her handprint the year she was born and then it was like little keychains? She's old enough to give them out by herself now."

The present Rosa gets is kind of soft and squishy and it doesn't rattle or anything when she holds it up to her ear and shakes.

"No opening until Christmas!" You say once everything's been given out and everyone's attention is on you," Because that ruins the surprise! You can only open them on Christmas!"

The little Arsenal teddy bear you got her sits on Rosa's desk for the rest of the season.

#woso x reader #arsenal wfc x reader #arsenal x reader #arsenal wfc #woso community #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso

527 notes · View notes

liinos · 2 years ago

Text

I need the phenomenon of metaverse concerts explained to me... like I assume they're free (I HOPE they're free dear god) but I feel like the whole Point and Experience of the concert is the live aspect and being around other people who feel the same way as you which you don't get in metaverse? Also like what are you getting from that that you can't get from a YouTube video of said concert like it doesn't make sense to me why are we trying to make it a thing😭

#i think the metaverse thing is stupid anyway but come on... be fr i dont think youre ever going to compete with irl concerts 😭#especially if they eventually (and i have no doubt they will bc capitalism) make you pay for metaverse ones like... literally whats the #point when you could just watch a video #anyway like i am a crowd Hater even before covid bc they make me anxious but i Love the shared energy of a concert crowd #also helps somewhat with my inherent shame of enjoying things and existing 😭😭#still havent told my parents im going to see cix 😎 tbh if it wasnt for chloe i wouldn't tell them😭 like yes i live with you but i am #a grown adult think of me as a roommate you dont need to know my plans #my sister knows anyway so the safety thing is covered #but like if i did not live here i would not tell them shit! i simply do not feel the need to

1 note · View note

helioooss · 6 months ago

Text

midnight rain

synopsis: sana and y/n used to be the top celebrity couple in the entertainment industry. over a decade after a nasty break up, they meet again at a jimmy kimmel show

w/c: 5.2k

warnings: mentions of drug use and overdose, read at your own risk, angst with a happy ending

a/n: first story in ten years, creative brain’s a bit rough these days, haven’t been on tumblr since its golden days. also not proofread. hope ur all well and enjoy this one :)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Your heart was beating out of your chest, each thump pushing you further you into a downward spiral as your clammy palms tapped against your bouncing knee. Leaning against the chair, you refused to make eye contact with anyone — the worried look on your face was enough to push them away, anyway. In a situation like this, it would be strange to not feel anxious.

After all, it had been over ten years since you let the love of your life go and agreeing to see her on live television was a decision that you have been regretting since the day you said yes.

Two minutes, you blew a breath out as you stared up at the monitor in front of you.

"Welcome to the Tonight Show!" Jimmy trailed off with a smile, the audience in front of him clapping as they yelled in excitement. "Thank you for being here, tonight we have two very special guests —"

A staff member tapped your shoulder, pulling you out of your messy thoughts with his apologetic face. "Y/N, it's time."

Uncrossing your legs, you nodded your head with a shy smile. The fact that you could hear your own heartbeat amongst all the noise made you uneasy, so you stood there for a moment longer; wondering what Minatozaki Sana looked like in person.

You haven't been this nervous since the world found out about your relationship with her.

Taking a deep breath, you walked out with your heart in your throat. You bowed your head at Jimmy and waved your hand at the audience members, screaming can be heard from the other end; your name being chanted, their anticipation shining through from seeing you on television again after what seemed like an eternal hiatus.

It would be a lie to say it didn't feel good to relive what was once your life like, but you don't regret disappearing from the spotlight.

You were happier now, away from all the awards and glory, you think.

As if you were in a movie, time suddenly stopped as she emerged from the other side in the black Yves Saint Laurent dress you bought her all those years ago — brown hair flowing freely past her shoulders as she mirrored your gestures towards the crowd. Watching her fondly, you were reminded of the moonlight that illuminated the surface of the endless ocean; truly God's masterpiece in its purest form. You were frozen in your spot as you stared at her with the utmost adoration and respect.

Then, she finally settled on your eyes and suddenly you felt like a kid again.

"Hello stranger," she said with a sly smile, taking the seat next to yours with the crowd going wild at your first interaction. "Hi Jimmy, thank you for having me."

"Yeah, I'm gonna pretend that you didn't acknowledge Y/N first," he teased, making her and everyone else chuckle. "Anyway, wow, you look wonderful. And so do you, Y/N!”

You grinned, nodding as you try to remember the rough script on how the conversations would go in your head. "Thank you for having me back here, Jimmy, I appreciate it."

"It's the both of you this time," he raised his eyebrow suggestively. "Which is amazing, the world hasn't seen you together in twelve years. Am I right?"

"Yes," she looked at you, heaving out a breath as she laughed. "Sorry, it just feels so weird to see you again."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Suddenly, you were pulled back into past; during the last time you ever saw her in the alleyway behind Stanley's; your favourite getaway restaurant during midnights. Every now and then, you remembered it; the pain from losing her always came back like it just happened and you wonder if you've really moved on.

"We can't keep doing this," she said with tears welling in her eyes. "It's so hard, Y/N, and as much as I love you, our relationship is mentally breaking me."

You shook your head in desperation, cupping her cheeks with both of your hands. "That's what they want, you know that, our fans want us to break up. You don't have to do this, baby, I'm sure there's another way. We can talk to both of our managements —"

She sighed, pulling away from you. Both physically and emotionally. "I've spoken to mine and they respect my decision.

You paused, repeating the words in your head to make sure you heard her right. It felt like she just stabbed you in the back as you gawked at her with defeat in your eyes, shoulders slumping while piecing everything together. "The last time you spoke to them about our relationship was over a month ago, and you're only talking to me about this now? Is that how you've been feeling this whole time?"

Her tears rolled down her face, understanding the betrayal you felt. "It's not just the fans, Y/N, it's literally everything. I barely get to talk to you and see you. How can we both work it out when we can't even create time for each other?"

"I'll do anything for you, my love, just say the word and I will cancel everything - you know that! Every project, every interview, every shoot, literally anything —"

"No, I stand by my decision," she said firmly. "Perhaps, when you and I have achieved all our dreams...then we can work it out. This isn't the right time for us —"

"Four fucking years, Sana," you bellowed angrily, fists clenching. There was pain written on her face from hearing you call her by her name. "From the very beginning, we have been there for each other. What the fuck am I supposed to do without you?"

"Let me go — we'll both be happier without each other."

"No," you shook your head, tugging her closer towards you. However, she resisted. "Please, please don't do this. Don't leave me like this. What happened to forever?"

Her tears rolled down her cheek at the sound of your defeated voice. As much as it hurt her, she had to make up a lie on the spot. "I don't love you anymore. I — there's someone else."

Just like that, all of your hopes and dreams for the future shattered. Without her, the life you built meant nothing.

She really wanted you out of her life and there was nothing you could do about it. Shoulders slumping, you looked down - the thunderous roar of the oncoming storm startled her whilst it had no effect on you. "Okay, I see what you're doing. It's going to start raining, you should go."

She doesn't know whether it was the coldness in your voice or the wind, nonetheless, she shivered. "Y/N -"

"Leave, that's what you wanted, right?" you looked up at her, eyebrows furrowing. "I don't understand what I've done to you to justify what you're doing. I know I don't deserve any of this. If you're going to leave, leave now and never come back. And when I say never, I mean it, Minatozaki Sana."

She nodded her head, turning on her heel with a sob. Tiny specks of rain began to pour down on you, the rest of your world going down with it. You watched her walk away from you as if it were the easiest thing - did she ever really love you?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"I can't pinpoint whether that's a good thing or not, but considering I'm your ex, I'd say that's a bad thing," you joked, rolling your eyes playfully.

She laughed once more, shaking her head at you. You swear that sound never failed to put you on a pedestal. "It's just surreal, I haven't seen you in so long. You look younger than I can remember."

"You never reply to any of my messages," you put your hands up at her as Jimmy bursted into another set of laughter. You didn't know where the confidence was coming from, but you were relieved you were feeling something else other than being constantly nervous. "I'm joking, I don't have her number. I'm sure you don't mind giving it to me after the show, right?"

"God, get a room," Jimmy whined, turning you into a blushing mess. "Before you both propose to each other, Sana, let's talk about the dress you're wearing tonight. Somebody may or may have not told me that you're wearing something very special."

"We'll talk about my number after the show," Sana turned to you, winking; making the heat rise on your face. "Yes Jimmy, this dress is probably my favourite one out of everything - I don't wear it very often, obviously, but this beautiful Yves Saint Laurent piece was a gift from Y/N thirteen years ago."

You stared at her in awe, the way she spoke with so much grace never failed to impress you. The years had done her a favour - life always seemed easier on her than it was on you.

She left you behind, after all.

"Look, I'm just glad you kept it because this archival piece cost me a lot back then," you admitted with the biggest grin on your face as you looked at anyone but her. You couldn't place what it was about her that struck you so forcefully, but you simply couldn't take your eyes off her and you somewhat needed to feel in control of your emotions. "It was our first anniversary, I had just gotten a pretty decent check from Little Women and I wanted to give her something special."

"You got a big check in twenty-nineteen and the first thing you thought of was a dress for your girlfriend instead of a Lamborghini to flaunt on Instagram?" Jimmy scoffed as you and Sana giggled at him. "Get out of here!"

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Your anniversary was coming up and frankly, you wanted to give her the world. You were panicking inside; with the amount of things you've gotten her, none of them felt special. You hummed as you sat in Chou Tzuyu's kitchen, patiently waiting for her to acknowledge you.

"You know, if you weren't my friend, I'd have you sent out of my house already," she grumbled in a playful way. "Seriously, I'm telling you that she will love that Saint Laurent dress by Tom Ford."

You sighed, shaking your head. "It's our anniversary though, it's special. Do you think giving her a dress and taking her to Hawaii are good enough?"

"Jesus Y/N, that woman looks at you with stars in her eyes — she will love anything you get her. If you ask her to marry you right now, I believe she will say yes in less than a heartbeat."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The show was going very well, you felt relieved as time went by, and you were actually enjoying the things you found out about Sana after you had broken up.

She went on to become a successful solo artist and fashion model after Twice's disbandment, and you couldn't be any prouder. It had always been her dream and you always knew she was made to be a superstar - you prayed for her to achieve it, even if it meant she would be harder to reach.

You were able to open up about your past; the dark hole you fell into after the breakup — all the women, the legal troubles and the projects that failed because of your behaviour; it wasn't easy to talk about, but somehow, the way she intensely listened made all the fear go away. It would be an understatement to say you haven't felt this comfortable in years — just watching her talk about her passions put you in awe.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You were barely conscious in a suite at The Ritz in Paris, an unlit cigarette resting on your mouth as you scrambled to find the lighter in your pocket. The only thing illuminating the room was that stupid lamp on the office table. And you hated it, you really did, because it was the same model she broke the last time you were here with her.

You felt so warm - breathing heaved and beads of sweat forming on your forehead. And you laughed to yourself because it was pathetic, really. You were all alone in the city of love because the love of your life decided she wanted to move on from you.

And suddenly, the door opened with Jongin appearing from behind it. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Kai..." you could barely mutter his name as the world spun around you. "You're here!"

He knelt in front of you, forcing you to sit up. He tapped both of your cheeks worriedly. "Look at me, open your fucking eyes!"

You cupped his face back with a chuckle, everything seemingly softer around the edges. "Eyes open."

"I need you to tell me how much of these pills you had and when," he dangled the two bags in front of you but all you could think of was her face; the way her eyes lit up whenever you told her you loved her and that smile of hers that never failed to put you in a spiral. "Momo, I need you to stop freaking out and call an ambulance right now."

You were lying against Jongin's chest, your vision blacking in and out.

"We're at the Windsor suite at The Ritz, we have called the hotel medic and they're coming," you heard someone frantically say. "Y/N looks really unwell. Please hurry, please!"

There was buzzing all around you, and you smiled to yourself before giving in and closing your eyes. "Happy 27th birthday to me."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"But how are you doing now?" Jimmy asked with a sympathetic look in his face.

"I..." you looked down, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. "I don't think I know who I am anymore after everything. I regret everything that I've done - all the fame and the money, I don't think it was worth losing myself over the superficial things. Then again, rehab and lots of therapy helped me a lot, you know, I always thought I wouldn't make it past 27...but here I am. All thanks to everyone who held me together."

Everyone began clapping in the audience, your cheeks reddening at all the attention. Despite being a nervous wreck, you managed to let out a small smile. You could feel her eyes on you, yet you refused to look again.

"Would you change what happened in the past?"

Deep down, you were aware of the answer to his question. It'll always be a yes. Everything that you have now wasn't worth more than her. As ridiculous as it sounded, you would've given it all up for her; without her in your life, it always felt like you achieved it for nothing.

It was supposed to be her and you against the world. As much as it sounded wrong, your love for her will always be greater than your dreams.

"Yes, I would've," you pursed your lips, looking down at your roughed up running sneakers. Compared to her look, yours was too casual. If you were younger, you would've been on the same level as her. You didn't belong to each other now, what else was different about her these days? "For most of you who didn't know, the world hated that her and I were together. Everyone criticised each move we did. We were young...really young, it felt suffocating to hear the same things from the public but god, I loved her so much. To this day, I'm firm on my decision that I would've given up on my dreams for her if it meant I could keep her."

You were truly not over what you had, but with everything that has happened after that, you don't think you could let her in again. Not now.

Not when you were still a mess.

She placed her hand on top of yours, gently squeezing it. "If I knew that letting the world find us would ruin what we had, I would've kept you a secret," she paused, looking at you with pure adoration plastered on her face. "For as long as I could have."

Jimmy nodded his head, satisfied with your answers. "Well, that's it for tonight's show everyone. Please give a huge round of applause to our dear Y/N and Sana!"

You stood up, stepping closer towards Jimmy as you wrapped his arms around him, whispering. "Thanks heaps for having us tonight, never thought we'd cross paths again."

He was smiling as if he understood how it felt. "Anytime, Y/N, my wife and I were big fans back in the day."

You didn't respond, eyes following her instead. There was a sudden sharp ache in your chest as you watched her walk away from you, not bothering to look back.

Jimmy noticed the change in your emotions, squeezing your arm in comfort. "Hey, she'll be backstage for another half an hour. Don't let this chance slip away."

You heaved out a sigh, a defeated look on your face. Perhaps, her actions were all for the show, but god, her face said it all — she missed you as much as you missed her. "I can't, Jimmy. I'm a mess. I think I'll always be a mess. Do you think I could leave without her seeing me or knowing about it?"

There was surprise written on his face at your question. "I thought you guys did great out there, don't you wanna rekindle it?"

"No," you frowned. "I still love her...but its been over a decade and a lot has changed. She rejected me the last time I saw her. She seems happier - I'm still working on myself. I can't risk it."

"I understand," he smiled at you with sympathy. "Come, I'll get one of my producers to show you out."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"Sana is here with her rumoured girlfriend," Lisa rasped out, closing the door behind her as she leaned against it - eyes wide and all that. "How are we gonna hide her from Y/N? She's literally sitting outside."

Jennie had horror written all over her face as soon as her eyes landed on your messy face - wonton soup smeared all over your mouth. "Actually...Y/N is here."

Lisa gasped at the sight of you. "I thought you went to order more drinks at the bar!"

You shook your head, standing up. "No, I ordered it through a QR code like I said I would. Where is she?"

"Y/N," Jennie held your hand to stop you. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"I'll be fine, Nini," you smiled reassuringly, rubbing your thumb against her skin. "I just wanna see what she looks like now."

"It's been seven years, Y/N," Lisa deadpanned, arms crossed and still blocking the door out of the private dining area. "She has moved on and so have you."

"We all know that's a lie."

With a mask of disappointment in her eyes, she took a step ahead to get out of your way, her shoulders slumped as she shook her head disappointingly. "This is going to pull you back a hundred times worst."

And it did. You wished you had listened to Lisa because as soon as Sana's eyes landed on yours, her smile faltered and turned into a worried frown. "Not now, Y/N, talk to me when you're sober. And in private."

"I am sober, Sana," you whispered frozen in place, a pang of pain rushing through every nerve end in your body. “Can we talk, please?”

She wouldn’t even look at you. “If you have anything important to say, I don’t want to hear it.”

You felt sick, stomach twisting in more ways than one and a sudden onset of frustration washed over you. “How could you be so cruel?”

She was once the constellations you admired, now the moon weeps at how she dimmed the brightness within you.

“We’re in public!”

“Nobody fucking knows us here,” your frail attempt at choking up your anger was visibly failing. “You know what? Fuck this, whatever. Have a nice life.”

“Y/N, wait,” she seemed taken aback at your outburst, quickly standing up to trail behind you.

“Fuck you, Sana.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The days that followed after your first public appearance became a blur. You were all over the news again, this time, they were all positive things about you (according to your publicists). Many old friends from the industry have been trying to reach out, some wanted to meet up for their own good - however, most were just glad to see you alive and well.

Since your hiatus, you have been away from the public eye; all of your social media accounts remained stagnant. Even the sleaziest paparazzi companies couldn't figure out where you were.

After all, you were and still are one of the biggest names on the industry.

"Here goes nothing," you said as you tapped on the 'share' button. It was a selfie of you in your bedroom - your bookshelf and art collection on the background. The caption was a simple 'this is 34'.

You closed your eyes as you inhaled a deep breath; it was your first post in nearly three years and you feel absolutely terrified. They were definitely going to judge the way you've aged, the books you read and a lot more other things that you should be prepared for and be used to - but you weren't.

Not long after, your phone rang; interrupting (thankfully) you from your dilemma. It was your mum on the other end. "Hey ma," you greet with a grin.

"Your dad, siblings and I wish you the happiest birthday today, my darling. Will you come and see us this year?" she asked with hope in her voice.

"Ma, I was just there last week," you playfully rolled your eyes. "Besides, if I come now, they will figure out where our family home is. And eventually, the public will find out where I live too."

"I know, I know," she hummed. "But you've been celebrating your birthday alone for years now. Why can't you invite your old friends? I'm sure Jongin and Momo and Lisa and Jennie and Jisoo and Jimin and Jungkook and —"

"Okay, okay," you chuckled. "I'm sure they all miss me too but I don't think I'm ready to let people in again. They're all living very busy lives. I enjoy my solitude right now and —" the sound of ringing from your front door cut you off, startled, you moved the phone away from your ear to make sure you weren't hearing things (again). "Uh, there's someone at the front. Must be one of my book deliveries — well, I hope."

"Aren't you gonna open the door?"

"No, why would I? Then they'll find out I live here." However, the doorbell rang once more. "Oh god, what if I accidentally put my location on my Instagram? Ma, I'll call you back."

"Y/N, it's —"

"Bye, I love you!"

You quickly hung up and turned your phone off before padding across your camera room to see who the person on the other side of the door was.

Your breath hitches at the sight of your ex-girlfriend patiently standing outside with a birthday cake on her hand. After a month of not seeing her, your shoulders slumped into a more relaxed state as you take another deep breath; pressing the red button.

"Sana?" you said with hesitation through the speaker. "You have red hair?"

"Hi Y/N," she waved at the camera. Damn that smile. "Happy birthday, please let me in before anyone sees. And yes, I had to dye it for a shoot."

You cleared your throat. "Uh, I'm coming," you walked towards the front door with your lips tucked behind your upper teeth. You pull the wooden door open, revealing the fiery-haired beauty on the other side. Your heart hammers against your chest and your fingers visibly shake as you step away to let her in. "It suits you."

"Thank you," she smiled shyly, looking around your place. "This is a lovely home, Y/N."

"Come," you took the cake off her hands as you walk towards the open kitchen with a view of the forest surrounding your house. "Pretty bold of you to assume caramel is still my favourite."

She frowned. "Is it not?"

You laughed. "No, no, it still is." As soon as you set the cake on the counter, you looked up to meet her gaze. "How did you find me?"

"Your parents," she quickly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, awkwardly wrapping her arms around her loose cardigan. "I called to see how they were doing."

"And why's that?" you curiously raised an eyebrow, attempting to kill the assumption that she missed you in your head.

She took a step closer towards the counter — the only thing separating you away from her. "Because I wanted to find you," she paused, biting her lip. "After the interview, you disappeared. Just like that. No goodbye, no nothing. Why?"

"Why not?" your tone made her flinch, reminding her of the same coldness you showed her in that alleyway.

"We were doing so well...the interview, I thought you would maybe want to catch up —"

"I did, then I remembered how you broke my heart and then many other thoughts came along after that. Remember when you told me there was someone —"

"An obvious lie, Y/N, there was only you."

A sigh escaped your lips as you avoid her eyes. "For years, I made myself believe that it was true just so I could hate you. And not even a year later, Sana, not even a year, you began dating someone else. A fucking CEO out of all people — a guy who was probably busier than most of us combined; that was such a massive slap in the face considering you told me it wasn't working because of our schedules."

"It was —"

You raised a finger, stopping her. "No, I told you to leave and never come back. I told you that, do you remember?"

"I do," she tilted her head carefully, gaze holding that same familiar hurt all those years ago. "I do, and that's the sole reason I refused to knock on your door again for a decade - no matter how much I begged myself to. I couldn't bring myself to, anyway, not after I hurt you."

"So why are you here?" you asked, voice strained.

"Because I'm still deeply in love with you after all these years, because I believe you're the love of my life and I still want to grow old with you. And I want to love you again if you'll let me, Y/N, please. I love you, that's why I'm here.”

You looked up to find tears pooling in Sana's eyes, she turned away before wiping them away with her fingers. All you could hear was the drumming coming from your chest, your head all over the place once again.

You remembered it so vividly, the moment you wanted to marry her...the cherry red box that was sitting untouched in your safe after all these years. And it hurt.

"Say something, please," she sniffled, pleading you with her eyes as she placed her hand on top of yours - her cold skin against yours now lingering for a moment too long.

"Look at me, Sana," you exasperated, arms flinging wide open. "Look at the mess I am. I've been to rehab more than I can count my fingers. I ruined my own reputation and I hurt so many people along the way. There were days where I could barely breathe, days where I wanted it all to stop. And those days still come every now and then. I have pushed everyone away - even my own family. There's a barrier between me and all of the people I love, the gap will always remain because of the things I've done. And you say you want me?"

"I want you, chaos and all. I have loved you all these years...what's so different about now?"

"Do you know how long has it been since our break up?" you scoffed, pinching the bridge of your nose to stop the tears from coming. "You are in love with the idea of me, not who I am."

"Then let me unravel you once more, Y/N, this is all I'm asking for. I know I walked away when you needed me the most and I'm so fucking sorry, I live with that guilty everyday - god, I was so worried. I didn't sleep for a year when we were 27 because I didn't want to wake up to find out you were dead like everyone else would say. I should've reached out then because I knew that I couldn't live this lifetime without you. I didn't want to, not if you weren't in it. I ask myself why I didn't, but I can never find the right answer. All I know is I'm here now, and I'm never gonna let you slip away ever again."

Your walls began to crumble at her intimate confession. This time, you took both of her hands under yours, unable to stop yourself now. "I was going to marry you but you didn't stick long enough for me to do that."

"W-what?" she stammered, her voice breaking. "You were?"

It felt as if there was a knot wrapping your heart and your chest together, squeezing in a way that it almost hurt to breathe. There were so many thoughts flying through your mind, a million of what would've, could've and should've beens.

She unexpectedly collided her body against yours, making you stumble in your feet. Your hands luckily gripped the edge of the counter, balancing her and you together. Her arms snaked around your waist, engulfing you in a tight embrace as she whispered a million apologies.

"I'm so sorry," she cried, pushing you away with her hands. "Oh my god, how did I fuck this up so bad? I love you so much, why?"

"We both were fuck ups, weren't we?" you chuckled through the tears flowing down your cheeks. "Too young to know how cruel the world was."

"Will you please let me in again, Y/N? Let me fix this. I want you and I want us again. I don't care what they all think.”

"I don't deserve you, Sana, I think I'll only end up hurting you. I've been alone for so long now that if you asked me what love was like, I would only be able to mutter your name and remember what ours was like."

"Like the way I hurt you?" she croaked out, intertwining her fingers with yours - thumb rubbing gentle circles against your cold skin. "We'll work through it, together. I know what I'm walking into, I'm not as naive as I used to be. It won't be easy, but I love you. And I can't let this go - I'll never love again if it's not you."

You braced your hands on her hips, pulling her again. You welcomed her in, arms wrapped around her body - never wanting to let go. You stayed like this for a while; the comfortable silence filling all the missing puzzle pieces in your life. "I'm scared."

"I know," she sighed, rubbing your back with her palms. "I'm here now."

For years, you were lost. But not anymore. She was here now and you were home. Again.

#twice x reader #sana #sana x reader #twice imagines #sana imagines #kpop x reader #twice #minatozaki sana

798 notes · View notes

weird-is-life · 9 months ago

Text

Shouldn't I want you?

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Summary: Spencer lets you break up with him, thinking he is not enough for you

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: angst, happy ending, arguments, mentions of ice-cream, lots of tears, swear words, use of y/n and pet names, mentions of Spencer being in prison

----------------------------------------------------

Spencer has been acting weird lately. And you don't know why. He's been so distant. Making different excuses on why he couldn't make it to the dates.

He's also started texting you less and less. And the calls just seem forced from your side, like he doesn't even want to speak with you while away on cases.

It's honestly breaking your heart, and maybe that's Spencer's plan. To just break your heart so you would break up with him.

It's making you so anxious that you wait everyday for the text from him that will say 'It's over. I'm breaking up with you.' But it doesn't come, and you don't know what to think of it. You don't even know why would he want to break up. You don't think that you've done anything wrong, and you are very certain that Spencer hasn't done anything wrong either. This whole thing is just so unusual.

On the one hand, Spencer is almost ghosting you, but on the other hand he doesn't want to break up? You are so confused about the whole situation.

You are crying over the break-up that hasn't even happened yet, watching your tv with a big bowl of ice cream in your lap. Spencer's supposed to come home today from a case, but you know he's not going to come to your apartment. He hasn't done that in the last few weeks, not since he's started being so distant.

So you sit in a pit of your tears, cheesy rom-coms and a bucket of ice cream. Suddenly, there's a knock on your door, and looking at the clock you know exactly who it is.

You panic, you didn't expect him to come. You quickly wipe your tears away, and hide the ice cream in the freezer. You know that you look puffy anyways as you open the door with a big sigh and a fake smile.

Spencer, of course, sees right through it.

"Hi- what's wrong?" Spencer immediately asks with a frown. He pushes you gently out of the doorway, and steps inside too as he closes the door.

"N-nothing," you lie, trying to force a smile on your face, "what...what are you doing here?"

A quick flash of hurt and confusion passes over Spencer's face, "I wanted to see you."

You suck in a shaky breath,"oh."

"Oh?" Spencer asks, baffled. "Seriously sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Don't-Don't call me that," you whisper, eyes on the ground.

"What?" Spencer's eyes go wide, "I shouldn't call you sweetheart?"

You sigh, and look up at Spencer. He looks so lost by what you mean, and for a split of a second you think good, let him be confused. You've been confused for the last few weeks because of him. But then you remember that it's Spencer, still very much the Spencer you love.

"Yes, you shouldn't," you sniffle a little, "because it's only hurting me more."

"I-" Spencer starts.

"Spencer, just let me finish. I think that we both know that you don't want to be in a relationship with me anymore. So please Spencer, let's just not do this anymore. I can't keep going on like this, it's-it's just too much. It hurts too much," you say, your cheeks wet with tears yet again.

Spencer stays quiet, it's actually one of the rare times that he doesn't know what to say, and it just breaks your heart even more.

"Y-you won't even say anything? No reason why?" your voice breaks in the middle of the sentence. But looking at Spencer's teary eyes and completely shut mouth, you know, you two are done.

"I-It's over, Spencer. Please just go, you can come take your things some other day," you don't even wait for him to say anything. You go open the door and look anywhere, but him while he slowly leaves.

You don't have the courage to look at him. You hear him sniffle, but don't look. You can't see his broken face, it would be even worse than it already is.

Spencer leaves, and you slam the door shut behind him. It feels like your heart is being cut open by millions of tiny glass pieces as soon as the door closes.

You barely manage to walk towards the couch before you break down. Sobs violently shaking with your body.

A few days go by, and it's only when you don't pick up your phone on like the 20th try does Penelope march into your apartment.

You reluctantly open the door after she knocks, and knocks, insisting she's not leaving until you open the door.

"Hi," you greet her, and you immediately notice her slightly shocked face at the sight of you. And you get it. You haven't slept properly for the last few days, and the almost constant tears can't help either.

"Oh my gosh, honey, come here," Penelope instantly pulls you into an embrace, and you melt into it like a puddle.

She squeezes you tightly until you're ready to let go. "Pen, what...what are you doing here? Did Spencer send you?"

"Don't even say his name. He's in big, big trouble," she says in her own angry way. A small smile appears on your face when she says it.

"I can't believe he's done this. He can be such an idiot sometimes even if he really is a genius," you don't argue with that, but you don't want to talk about Spencer either. He's been on your mind enough as it is right now.

"Can we...can we not talk about it? I just want to get over it, and move on as soon as possible, "you sigh. You let Penelope in, and you want to make her go sit down to the living room while you make the tea, but she insists on staying in the kitchen with you.

"Believe me, honey, I wouldn't want to talk about Spencer if it wasn't important," she starts, and your mind immediately goes to the worst possible scenario.

Seeing your wide, worried eyes she adds, "he's okay. He's just stupid, that's all."

"Yeah," you agree quietly, even if you know that it's not true. Spencer maybe used to be clueless about things like relationships, but that has changed. He was never clueless in your relationship.

"Oh sweetheart, " Penelope rubs your shoulder in comfort, "I could beat him up for making you so sad."

Her very serious tone makes you let out a small chuckle. You and her both know that she wouldn't even hurt a fly let alone Spencer, her dear friend.

"Thanks, Penny, but it's okay, I'm okay. Spencer didn't want to be with me anymore, and i-i made my peace with that or-or at least i will eventually."

"But that's just it. That's what I came here to tell you. Spencer loves you, and he just let dumb people with dumb opinions get to his head," you almost burn yourself with the warm water for the tea when you hear her words.

"What do you mean?" you quizz. You forget about the tea, and turn to her.

"He'd heard some people talk about you and him. Some colleagues saw you two together somewhere, and started gossiping. He heard them say that you're too good for him with him being in prison and all-"

"What? That's just ridiculous," you exclaim, you've never heard such a bullshit before.

Of course, you know that Spencer was in prison, but you also know he was innocent. You knew Spencer even before he went to prison, and maybe he did change a bit, but he was still the same Spencer. The Spencer you've always been in love with.

"Exactly, I told him the same, but he wouldn't listen, " she looks sympathetically at you, "I think that Spencer just loves you so much that he's willing to let you go for better or worse."

You are stunned. You stand there absolutely baffled, and Penelope just looks at you with understanding. It takes you good few minutes to finally say something.

"You knew about this?" you question as you head towards the door with Penelope on your heels.

"No, I found out yesterday otherwise I would have told you sooner," you quickly put on your shoes as you listen to her.

"I know you would. Thank you for telling me this, Pen. You're the best," you give her a tight hug.

"He's at home right now," she tells you, you appreciatively smile at her, and basically run to your car with Spencer on your mind.

When Spencer opens his door, you instantly push yourself inside. You don't give him even a second to react, protest or say anything.

"Spencer Reid!" you start angrily. "I can't fucking believe you. You let us break up over some stupid gossip? And you didn't even tell me?" You say, hurt.

"It's not stupid, it's true-" Spencer starts calmly, a complete contrast to you. But on the inside he feels like he's going to pass out. It was already hard for him without seeing you, but now it feels like hundred times worse.

"Like hell it is!" you argue. "Spencer of course you're enough for me. I don't care what anyone says. It's not even true anyways. I don't care that you've been in prison, i don't care about any of it."

"But it is true. I'm no good for you. You can do so much better, sweetheart. Like look at me," he gestures towards himself, " I'm such a mess, my life is always messy. You don't deserve this kind of life, you deserve so so much better. You don't deserve to be waiting late at night for me to come home, wondering if i even come home. I can't let you have that kind of life. I'm not worth it."

Finally, Spencer lets the tears go down his cheeks freely. He knows what he is giving up by breaking up with you. He'd planned his whole life with you by his side. But it's better this way. Well that's at least what he is telling himself anyway.

"Don't you get it, Spencer?" you laugh dryly from the frustration, "I don't want better. I don't want anyone else. I just want you. I want you, Spence."

You sniffle slightly, and look at Spencer with hopeless eyes begging him to understand.

"You shouldn't, sweetheart, you shouldn't want me," Spencer tells you helplessly, running his hands through his hair.

You take a brave step towards him.

"Why shouldn't I?" you start. "Shouldn't I want the sweetest, the kindest person I know in my life? Shouldn't I want to be with the person that makes me smile, and makes my heart go fast? Shouldn't I want to be with somebody I completely trust? Shouldn't I want my best friend in my life forever? Shouldn't I want somebody who I feel safe with? Shouldn't I be with somebody I love the most?"

"So Spencer you tell me? Shouldn't i? Shouldn't i want you?" your cheeks are wet from the flowing tears, too.

Spencer shakes his head. You're impossible. How could he ever think that you'd just get over him without questioning why. He should have known better than that.

Spencer takes the final step that's between you two, and softly wipes away the tears from your puffy cheeks.

"I just want what's best for you," he whispers with a broken voice. Looking right into your watery eyes.

"Then let me have you!" You point at his chest with a sniffle. You see Spencer's face soften, like he finally understands.

Spencer's hands move from your cheeks to your hips, and he pulls you closer to him. "A-are you sure?"

"Spencer, you're unbelievable, " you say, vexed, "there's no one else for me Spence. No one."

Your words are the final thing for Spencer to breakdown, to allow himself to be with you. He pulls you towards him, hugging you oh so tightly. He hides his face into the space between your neck and shoulder. You feel the wetness of his tears run down your skin.

"There's no one else for me, too," he whispers into your shoulder. You hum in agreement, not ready to say anything yet.

After a few minutes you pull away, caressing Spencer's cheek you smile at him. "I love you," you mumble, "Please don't ever let people get to your head like this. At least not without telling me, yeah?"

"Yeah," Spencer says in hushed voice, leaning into your gentle touch. "I love you, thank you for not letting me be an idiot."

You both chuckle, sniffling, and it finally feels like it's all going to be okay. Like your worlds won't be ending after all.

You and Spencer go snuggle on his couch, content to be near each other again after the few days apart, and even if you know that there's still a conversation to be held tomorrow, you feel happy.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid

986 notes · View notes

entername322 · 6 months ago

Text

Birds of a feather

Eunbi (ex Izone) x Male Reader

Length: 10103 words

Previous part

“Fucking whore” Eunbi is woken up by a sudden growl, her eyes dart around as her mind is coming back to consciousness. She sees that you're sitting down on the hospital bed, “Baby, lay down for a second, you need to rest” She reaches out and tries to pull you back so she can snuggle again. “Where is she?” Your voice filled with venom woke her up completely, “Who?” She knows who but she wants to make sure you weren't looking for Yujin. “That whore who birthed me, where is she?” Eunbi let out a sigh of relief, “She's being treated here. Come on baby, lay down for now” Eunbi wraps her hand around you and kisses your cheek.

“Get off me”, You tried to push her away but Eunbi isn't playing around, “No, you're injured and possibly have some concussion. You need to lay down now! We can handle your mom later” Your face contorted into a furious frown, however Eunbi doesn't back down. “I'm serious, you're not going anywhere until they check up on you” Surprisingly you aren't angry, in fact you cool down a little and lay back down with her. Usually your ego would just lash out when someone tries to tell you what to do. Thankfully Eunbi did mellow you down with her, let's just call it affection.

“Why are you here Eunbi?” You grunted as you felt your head pulsing with pain. Eunbi felt her heartbeat rising, the jacket excuse can't work against you, “You left your jacket at the office. I tried giving it back to you but then I heard yelling”, But she said fuck it and try it anyway. “I did? Fuck I need aspirin or something” Thankfully you are too incapacitated by pain to recall what happened earlier today. “I'll call the nurse, okay? Wait here and don't do anything stupid” Eunbi walks out of the room and gets someone to do some quick check up on you.

“Well, it seems like we should do some scans tomorrow, for now I'll just send a nurse to give you some pain relief medicine” The doctor finished his checkup before leaving the two of you. Eunbi looks at you feeling anxious because you seem to be deep in thought, “Is it that painful baby?” Eunbi caresses your head to calm you down, “I need to run”, You said while looking off into the distance. “Run from who? Or where? Stop talking nonsense”, Eunbi scoffed and just pulled you to lay down again. “I can't pay for a CT scan or whatever, the bills gonna put me in debt forever”, Eunbi smiled, feeling a plan come up.

“Baby, I can take care of it”, Is this pity or blind love? “With what? Teacher's wage?” You scoffed at her, “I have money okay? I'm not just some silly old principal you know?” Oh right your school is pretty prestigious, of course she's not just some old hag struggling with minimum wage. “Right, I can ask someone else too” You mutter under your breath, Yujin is also an option after all. “Someone else?” Eunbi said coldly, “No matter.” The headache you're having isn't gonna be complimented by telling Eunbi about Yujin. “It's Yujin Ahn isn't it?” You can feel an aneurysm coming, “Who?” That's not gonna work.

“Yujin Ahn, your classmate. Your…… girlfriend ” The last word leaves a pain like broken glass wounds on Eunbi’s tongue. “She was here wasn't she?” That girl has been acting like your sugar mommy, forcing you to put her name in your emergency contacts and make you move most of your wardrobe to her room. “Yes, she told me you two are dating”, Her cold tone bothers you a little, “Yeah well, I told you it's complicated”, Close your eyes, maybe the problem will go away if you do that.

“Don't act sleepy, tell me about her. Since when are you two dating? How is it complicated?” Eunbi wouldn't let you get away like this, “What is there even to talk about? Is it really weird to hear that the two troublemakers are dating?” That is true, but Eunbi is more curious about how things are going. “You said it's complicated right? What do you mean by that babe?” Her hand reaches out to hold your cheek, the chill that runs down your spine tells you something has happened to her. “It's just complicated” Yet you just swat your hand away and turn your back on her.

Calm down, I need to calm down. He's still in shock and in a lot of pain, so I shouldn't push him too much. That's right, let's try to make sure he prefers having me helping her rather than Yujin.

Eunbi takes a deep breath, “Baby, I'm sorry okay? I just feel confused, she was here earlier before quickly leaving without saying anything. I was just bluffing you to see if she's actually your girlfriend or not”, You realise that she's probably lying, knowing Yujin, that girl would probably be worried sick about you. “I need to call her”, This brain injury is impending your decision making, “No” Eunbi quietly threatens you. “Where's my phone?” Suspicion rises within your mind, is Eunbi really that bothered by Yujin? Did you perhaps make a mistake in judging Eunbi's characters? “I don't know, probably left in your house. I didn't remember looking for it” Deep down Eunbi curses herself for forgetting it, she should've stolen it and checked your chat with Yujin.

“Fuck”, Maybe it's for the better, Eunbi found out about Yujin already and if Yujin also find out about Eunbi then things can be dangerous. “We can worry about that later baby” Eunbi sits down on the bed pulling you to rest your head on her thigh again. “Fuckkkkkk, I'm not going to school tomorrow”, She giggles a little bit and brushes your hair. Yet looking at her eyes you see this little darkness that's growing ever so slightly. “I can deal with it for you sweetie, just rest up. If the scan tomorrow shows no compilation we can go back to my place”, There is no room for negotiation it seems.

“Right, I should-” Sleep, yet unfortunately Yujin wouldn't allow that, “What are you doing?” Yujin said as she walked in the room uninvited. “I'm resting babe”, You sit up straight and act like you're hurt, “Are you okay?” Which manages to pull Yujin's heartstrings. “Yeah I'm gonna live”, You give her a gentle smile as she pulls you to a hug. If being dominated is Yujin's secret kink, then yours is a gentle and loving hug.

Fucking slut.

“Did the doctor check on you yet?” Yujin pulls away from the hug, letting you see her worried expression. “Yeah he says I need a scan tomorrow and he sends a nurse for my pain relief” You are so tempted to look at Eunbi right now, but you stop yourself, trying to focus all your attention to Yujin. “You're in pain? Babyyyy”, If you pay attention you can hear the sound of Eunbi's muscles tensing up. “It's just a headache, the medicine will probably kick in once I sleep”, Yujin sighs before turning to Eunbi. “Thank you for taking care of him, I would like to rest with my boyfriend if you don't mind”

Eunbi smiles in a ‘gentle’ manner while her hands are turning into a fist ready to just knock Yujin out. “Of course, see you later okay sweetie?” Eunbi ruffles your hair, with enough force to tell you she's angry with you, “Uh, yeah see you later”, You put on some guilty expressions for some reason.

Yujin turns back to you, completely ignoring Eunbi's existence until the latter leaves the room. “Why is she here even? Is there something you're not telling me?” Yujin narrows her eyes, “I don't know, Eunbi has been….. taking the mantle of mother figure for me” Well you're not lying, but what kind of mother fuck her own son? “Is that so? Well that old hag isn't even married yet, probably some maternity instinct or something”, Yujin scoffs. “Why are you so hostile to her?” You let out a laugh to mask your curiosity, “Because she's a weirdo okay? She acts so kind and warm for everyone, that's gotta be a fake act”, So much aggression for something she wasn't even sure of.

“Yeah you and your insecurities, let's get some sleep babe. Eunbi said "I can skip school tomorrow”, Yujin excitedly embraced you before crawling on the bed, “Haaaaaa, I told you not to go back to your home. You should've listened to me babe. From now on stay in my place okay?” That brings up the question, are you going to play around with these two girls further? Or are you gonna commit? “Let's get some rest, babe. It's been a long day”, Stalling is an option, probably not the most viable but it's an option.

Thankfully the next day you wake up feeling refreshed and better overall. The scan doesn't show anything noteworthy and so they release you. Of course before you can leave there's something you need to attend to, child protection services. “So you have been abused since you were kids?” Normally you would've tell them to fuck off and leave you alone. Thankfully Eunbi has kinda made you more open about this type of stuff. Hey look at that she’s actually helping you to get better, so you give them the quick rundown of how your life is, which doesn't seem to surprise them at all. “Yeah it is what it is, what can you do?” Well, you're less aggressive and not entirely open yet, but progress is progress. “I see, you are old enough to be considered an adult. However due to the years of abuse you've been subjected to there's a possibility of stunted growth”, She just called you slow in the most polite manner. “Maybe I am stunted, who knows if she dropped me when I was a baby”, You scoffed feeling offended, “I'm sorry if I say something wrong. Your safety is in our best interest, looking up your data unfortunately we can't seem to find your legal guardian”, Of course they won't, your mom put in some fake person's ID for it.

“I don't need a legal guardian”, They don't buy that at all, “How is your relationship with Miss Kwon?” You furrowed your eyebrows, wondering why they ask that. Your mind moves quickly before reaching a conclusion, “She's been taking care of me from time to time”, Are you officially registered as her patient? “I see, are you aware she was the one who brought you here?” You tell her you met Eunbi last night when you woke up. It was during this that you realised you don't really leave any jacket do you? Because the nurse handed you back the outfits you were wearing before you got operated on, and your jacket was there. The thing has some holes from glass shrapnels and even some of your blood stain on it indicating that you were wearing it when your mother was beating the shit out of you.

“Is there a problem?” The girl said as she saw you being silent, “I don't know, she's been trying to take the mantle of a motherly figure or something. She's weird”, You should ask Eunbi later. “I see, are you open to the idea of her being your temporary guardian?” Seems like you can only stall for so long. It took a full 5 minutes before you nod nervously, “I see, we will be contacting her for now then. Do you have a place to sleep?” You nod again telling them your girlfriend is here. “Very well, that's all we have to ask. This is our contact information, please contact us after you find your phone back”

Eunbi is the right choice. Yujin is young and much easier to corrupt but her family is something else. I don't know shit about them except that they're rich. Shit even Yujin has been refusing to talk about her family. Unknown variable means death, if I pick Yujin and her family cut me off god knows if Eunbi would ever take me back. Besides this way I can still juggle between them. I can give Yujin a solid answer on why I'm spending time with Eunbi. For now I need to check what the fuck is up with Eunbi.

“You're so stubborn sometimes”, Yujin grumbles as you talk her out of paying the bills, “Just trust me on this one okay?” If you're going for Eunbi it might be better to ask for a favour, make her feel she's being useful to you. “How do you even plan to pay them huh?” As usual you just distract her with kisses, “I have some plans”, Yujin grumbles but nods anyway. Yujin wraps her hand around yours and follows you to your mother's room.

She looks pathetic, the doctor said she has some concussion and the alcohol in her body is at a near dangerous level. “I hope you die”, Bold statement, “She is a bitch alright. God, you live with her all this time?” Yujin closed her nose due to a sting of alcohol. Your hand reaches out and grabs your mom's neck, “If I could, I would've”, Yujin stares into your cold eyes, a little shocked to see the evil behind them. “Babe, you're gonna get in trouble”, Gently she pulls your hand away, but your eyes never stop staring at the whore’s face. Hoping that one way or another it will cause her to get a brain aneurysm. “Come on babe let's get out of here”, Feeling things might go wrong Yujin decides to pull you away from the room, I'll be back bitch.

“Baby I need to find my phone first. You go home first I'll see you at your place”, You try to escape Yujin, “No, I'll buy you one later. In fact, since it's our off day let's go out on a date”, Something inside her tells her she shouldn't let you leave her sight for now. “Yujin”, You try to use your serious tone but Yujin doesn't give a fuck, “We're going to my place, get a shower and shop for a new phone”, Well since you plan on leaving her might as well milk out every last drop that you can. “Fine, but I'm still not announcing our relationship”, The drama from leaving her could be annoying, “That's fine, now let's go I want to finish it up quickly so we can get to the sex part”, Her smile almost makes you second guess your decision there.

“Oh you're finally here? Did I forget to tell you that I only give you one day off?” Eunbi is fuming once you finally visit her at her place, you've spent the last 3 days just chilling with Yujin without contacting her at all. “Sorry okay? Yujin was just being overprotective and stuff”, You were also having a hard time saying no, did she actually make you second guess yourself? “Get in”, This aggressive Eunbi is new for you, and for some reason it makes you feel guilty.

You get in and sit at her couch, Eunbi walks off somewhere before returning with a stack of paper and throwing it to you. “Huh? So you're my legal guardian now?” There's a paper for your paid hospital bill because you're an asshole who just sent it to her without saying anything , “Yes, so that means you're MY responsibility”, Eunbi sits down next to you, her face ridden with furry. “Have you been spending time with your girlfriend?” Eunbi leans closer to you, one of her hands grabs your cheek and forces you to face her. “Yes and no, I checked in with some of my friends as well”, Eunbi leans closer to your neck inspecting it, “Are you lying to me?” She presses one of the hickey Yujin left making you flinch a little due to her nail sinking into your skin.

“No, I do spend a lot of time with Yujin as well”, You act annoyed with her questioning and remove her hand from your neck. Eunbi let it happen but she leaned even closer and took a sniff off your body, “You smell different”, Now, without a shadow of a doubt Eunbi isn't as simple as a sex slave. The question is, has she always been like this or did she change?

“Yeah I've been living with Yujin-” Eunbi decides to stop you right there, “Living with her? Ohhhh, so you prefer staying with her over me? You must be having soooooo much fun that you forgot to contact me. You know you never tell me how your relationship was, I remember it was….. complicated? Or something like that”, Eunbi moves to sit on your lap, locking you in while both of her hands cupping your face and caressing your cheek.

Damn she looks hot.

Did you seriously find her sinister eyes to be enticing?

God I love the kind of women that will actually just kill me.

“Baby I need you to answer me okay? How is your relationship with Yujin?” Eunbi tilts her head a little and forms a smile but her empty eyes just make her even more sinister. “Yujin is, my girlfriend”, She nods and gives you an ‘encouraging’ smile to continue, “She likes me, I don't really like her that much”, That's too simple, and sounded too good to be true. Which is why Eunbi slams you to the back of the couch before pressing your face with her hands. “I think there's more than that. Don't lie to me sweetie, I hate it when you lie to me”, Perhaps, deep down you're just like Yujin, craving for someone to dominate you.

“Okay, she's also my sexual relief. Unlike you she wants an actual relationship and is craving for love. So I play into her needs so I can use her”, Bold move, admitting your heartlessness, “Is that so? Have you been using me as well?” The smile never really leaves Eunbi's face but you can feel her aggression getting stronger.

“Yes”, You brace yourself for her lashing out, but she doesn't. She just sat there, staring at you menacingly. “Is that so? I'm just a sex slave for you then?” Even her tone doesn't change, “You were, but things have changed”, The nonchalance tone you're using is slowly getting to her. “Is that true? How am I supposed to believe that? How do I know you're not just buttering me up?” She stops gripping your face but her hand still linger there. “Maybe I am, but now my mom is gone I need a roof to sleep under. It's either you or Yujin, and I pick you”, You smile so confidently as if what you say is just some normal statement.

“Are you lying baby?” The answer was adequate for Eunbi, as long as you actually choose her your attitude can be fixed with time. “No, Yujin is rich but she has her family that could just kick me out. You are alone, no one to turn to”, Your hand grabs her thighs before you press your forehead against her, “We're just two lonely people, so why not team up? You and me against the world Eunbi”, Her cold eyes slowly melted away, returning to the gentle eye she always wore. “You promise baby? You're not gonna contact Yujin again right? You're gonna be a good little boy and follow mommy's order?” Eunbi pinch your cheek, “I think you forget what our dynamic is, but I'll talk to her slowly. If she got mad things just gonna get messy in school”, Eunbi has a problem with that plan however since you grab her ass she couldn't think straight anymore.

“Master, you've been gone for too long. Please fuck mommy already”, Just like that she return to the old Eunbi, with some extra spice on it. “Mommy huh? I kinda like that”, You pull dress exposing her bare tits, “I miss you master, please don't leave me again”, Couldn't even wait for a second longer, Eunbi grabs your head and pulls it to her chest. As a proper gentleman you accept her invitation and feast on the food she has given you. Your mouth wrapped around her nipple as you start sucking it, one of your hands grabs her other tits and with your finger you start to rub her nipple as well.

“Aaaahhhh, master”, Eunbi moans out loud, her body has been craving for too long that a single stimulation from you can send her over the edge. Feeling her body squirm you get even more aggressive, pinching her nipple and starting to pull it out while your mouth bites down on her other nipples. “Fuckkk, masterrrr”, She squealed as she climaxed “My, my, mommy has been missing me huh?” You laugh seeing her wet her own pants. “Oohhhhh, master please more, I need more”, Eunbi pleads even though her orgasm hasn't even ended yet. One of your hands travels down into her pants, rubbing furiously on her clit while your mouth continues sucking her tits.

“Fuck, master”, Eunbi squeal in an even higher tone as her body shakes uncontrollably. “Pathetic little slut”, You scoffed before pulling her into a kiss, “Ahhhh”, She has crossed eyes as you start kissing her aggressively. It took over a minute before she started calming down. “Master, I miss you so much. Can you say you love me? Tell your mommy how much you love her”, Eunbi looks at you as tears start to fall down her eyes, “I love you Eunbi”, You whisper in her ears before throwing her to the couch.

With one quick pull you take off her pants, revealing her drenched thighs and pussy. “Mommy wants me to fuck her?” Your hand starts to rub her pussy, “Yes baby, your mommy is a dirty slut who wanted to take you in her care so she can fuck you. I want us to fuck everyday and night”, Sounds so fucking hot isn't it? “You're such a bad-” You slap her pussy, “-bad,” And again, “-bad girl”, You let your finger slide between her slit making her quiver.

“Baby please, fuck me”, Her leg is already moving around impatiently, “God you're so fucking hot”, You said before going down on her. You start biting and kissing her thighs, slowly making a trail down to her pussy. Once you arrive at the main course your tongue sticks out and starts tasting her. “Ahhhhhh, baby”, Just a little stimulation is enough for Eunbi to start shaking.

It's always nice seeing her so desperate for release, but it's also nice to see her being oversensitive like this. So you move even faster, your tongue starts licking her all around before it slowly slither inside her. “Oh fuck baby, right there”, Eunbi moans, your tongue do a little flick that make her shakes so you do it again, “Ahhhh, baby”, And again, “Just like that”, And again. Savouring the taste of her pussy juices, you can't help but to enjoy it.

She tastes better than Yujin.

Your hand reaches out to grab her hips as she starts moving way too aggressively for you. “Baby you're gonna make me cum again”, Eunbi grabs your head and holds on to it as you get even more aggressive. Licks after licks with occasional biting to her clit prove to be too much for Eunbi as she finally reaches her second orgasm.

“I'm cumming”, With a scream Eunbi sprays her juices all over your face, her hand is gripping your hair so hard it almost makes you grunt in pain. You preserved, continue licking her as her climax slowly passes away. Once she's done her hands let go of you and she lay there exhausted.

You crawl to her before kissing her aggressively, letting her have a taste of herself. “Aaaahhhh, master”, Eunbi moans as you pull away, “You taste great, mommy”, You smile mischievously. The compliment makes her giddy, “Let me taste more”, She grabs your chin and pulls you for another kiss, her tongue exploring around your mouth and lips, licking them aggressively. Then she moves to your cheek, ‘cleaning’ it from her juices. The taste of her own pussy and your sweat was addictive to her so she can't stop herself from licking all over your face.

“Hahahah, calm down mommy”, You laugh feeling ticklish, “Baby, I like it when you call me mommy. I'm your mommy, and you're my baby okay? I love you”, Eunbi looks at you with eyes clouded by ecstasy. “I love you too mommy”, Her body shakes again, ready for the next round.

You strip yourself down revealing your fully erect cock, then you align it with her entrance, gently rubbing it against her entrance. “Babyyyyy, fuck me already”, Eunbi try to move her hips so she can push you into her. “You're so hopeless sometimes”, You laugh before thrusting it in without any warning. Her body tense up, her torso bent upward as if she just got possessed. “Are you actually having another orgasm from me putting it in?” She can't answer you, because she's having yet another climax.

A laugh escaped your lips as you watched her shaking under you. Your hand grabs onto her hips before yours starts to move, ignoring her state. A smile forms on your face seeing how pathetic she looks. Her tongue sticking out of her mouth, her eyes rolling to the back of her head, a real life ahegao, and she looks perfect like this. Your hips move aggressively, pounding her so hard that Eunbi might develop a bruise. “Baby, kiss me please” Both of her hands reach out to your head, the moment you lean your head closer they grab it and pull you into her.

“Cum baby, please cum inside. It's been too long”, Her desperate whisper is just what you need, “Take it slut”, You burrow deep inside her as your hot load floods her inside. The moment Eunbi can feel the familiar warmth growing her stomach her mind short circuited as another wave of ecstasy washes over her.

“Hehehe, you really are just a helpless little slut aren't you?” You let out a laugh as you watch her fighting for her life. As you try to pull away you realise her legs already locked you in place. “Don't leave baby, stay here”, Eunbi grabs your hand and pulls you to lay on top of her again.

“I need to take a shower Eunbi”, You sigh realising how needy this girl has become, “Don't take a shower yet baby, the night is still long”, She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, taking comfort in your familiar scent. Unfortunately for her she forgot that you reek of another woman's scent, “I'm too tired Eunbi I need to sleep”, The rejection is just adding insult to injury.

“Baby, I'm horny. So be a good boy and help mommy okay?” She playfully nibbles your ear while her hands aggressively scratch your back. “Stop doing that, my back is already banged up as it is”, Also you're kinda annoyed with how much you're enjoying the pain. “Baby, don't make me mad. You know you can do more”, The playful bite turns into a warning bite as her legs also start crushing your waist. “Just let me rest today will you? I'll make it up to you tomorrow” Reluctantly she releases you and stares into your eyes. “Tomorrow you're going to school. I want you to go and come back home with me. I'll drive us there and I don't want to ever see you talk to Yujin again okay?”

“It's kinda hard to not see her when we're in the same class”, Wrong answer buddy, “Baby, stop being so persistent and just do what mommy tells you. Yujin isn't a good influence on you in any way. I know you're using her but don't think that means she can't affect you at all. Stop talking to her and ghost her, if she does anything mommy will keep you safe” Are you sure you want to go all in with this route? “Listen, mommy. I'll break up with Yujin the way I see fit, okay? Stop being so jealous and let me handle it”, She's kinda right though, Yujin's bratty attitude starts to rub on you.

“I don't want you to meet her outside of school, can you do that for me?” You can definitely hide it from her, “Fine, now let me go I need to take a shower” Eunbi nods and lets you off. Her eyes follow your back as you leave the room, “My baby, my master” She whispers to reassure herself that you're finally hers.

As soon as you finish showering Eunbi barges in, “Baby the dinner is ready so go get dressed up and join me okay?” How does she manage to lay her hand on your old clothes? Best to not ask. Dressing up, you join her at the dinner table where Eunbi pulls you in order to sit on your lap. “I miss you so much baby, don't run away like that ever again okay? Have you been eating well? Did you sleep properly”, She smothers you with kisses while also feeding you, “Im fine, just tired. Where did you get my clothes anyway?” Eunbi just smiles and continues feeding you.

“Is your wound all healed up now? You've been taking your medication right?” This girl's gonna be more needy than Yujin isn't she? “It's healed already, I stop taking those meds after the pain goes away”, Your hand slither to start playing with her thighs. “Good, tomorrow mommy is gonna be having a session with one of the students. So you will be spending your time in the detention room while I finish up. Don't complain, that's what you get for skipping school too much”, Wouldn't that mean Yujin will also be getting detention since she also skipped school.

“Sure I'll spend a few hours with Yujin, why not?” A sharp pain can be felt on your chest as Eunbi bites you, “Nope, she will be sent back home. You just got to an accident so the detention was given for not contacting the school about not being able to attend. Don't worry baby, she won't get in our way”, How nice of her.

“I need to go back home for a second tomorrow. Pick up some things”, Just like a snake, Eunbi wraps her arms around you while looking at you angrily, “You will not go back home to that whore's place. Whatever you have there I can buy a new one for you. I'm not letting you get injured again”, Perhaps you should make a more compelling argument. “Mom is still in the hospital, so I want to take my things. Especially my brother's things because they meant a lot to me. It'll be quick I promise, I'll even contact you to tell you I'm safe”, She's not buying it. Even after hours of persuasion she wouldn't budge at all. In the end you just relent and decide to run away later to finish some stuff.

“Now, be a good boy and clean the dishes while I take a shower, okay? Then after that we can go to sleep”, When was the last time you ever washed the dishes? When was the last time you ever ate in your own home? Doing this little house chores doesn't feel that bad, you finish up quickly before opening your phone and find Yujin is looking for you.

“Hey babe, what's up?”

“What do you mean what's up? Where are you? I thought you said it won't be longer than an hour”

“Yeah, something came up. Turns out Eunbi has become my legal guardian”

“Why? Why is that bitch so obsessed with you?”

“Well you know, unlike you she's a softie inside and outside. Guess she just felt pity of me”

“Ugghhhh, she's just being a fake bitch trying to sell her kindness. Baby come home you're not safe there”

“Listen babe I think she's just like that, let me spend some time here to check her out okay?”

“Why? Why do you even want that? Are you seriously thinking about moving in with her?”

“Listen babe, things get problematic if they find out I'm not staying with my legal guardian. For me and for her”

“How? You're an adult already”

“Well yeah but that's because it's a requirement for an adult story”

“Huh?”

“The point is, despite her original intention that we might never know, she's still a kind and caring woman. She helps me go through my brother's death”

“So?”

“So I don't want to make it harder for her by being a rebel. Trust me on this one okay? I owe her, and you know I don't like owing shit”

“Ugghhhhh, you just want to fuck her don't you?”

Before you get to answer you heard someone yell at you, “Who is that?” Turning around you can see Eunbi is just fresh out of the shower. Her hair is still wet and dripping droplets all over the kitchen floor, she's also wearing nothing but a piece of towel. “Listen babe I'll talk to you later okay? Bye have a good-” You didn't get to finish your words as Eunbi snatched the phone away from you and hung up the call.

“I thought we agreed that you will never talk to her again” , She set your phone down on the counter before pressing her body up against yours. “I told you I'm gonna break this up my way. Just give me time okay?” You feel irritated with her possessiveness, although deep down you feel kinda guilty. Guilty? What? No I'm not guilty. Whatever you say man.

“Your way? Why don't you explain to me what your plan is then? Or do you just plan to see her behind me? Because it feels like you're trying to keep her as close as you can”, Behind you Eunbi's hand reaches out to take a knife. You didn't notice it, and she didn't notice it either, it was her other side that's taking over. “Of course not, I just feel…… you did this to me, now I'm all mellow and shit. Now I feel like shit for hurting her. Just let me set the record straight first okay?” See? Just admit that you're actually falling for Yujin. I'm just acting okay? Up to you.

“Baby, promise me that you'll leave her. Promise me that she won't get in our way. It's you and me against the world, that's what you told me earlier” See? It works, “Yes Eunbi, it's just you and me, I promise”, Her eyes dart around to see if you actually mean it. Failing to see anything amiss her anger subsided and her hand let go of the knife before grabbing your head to pull you for another kiss.

This time the kiss is filled with love, sick and twisted love but still love regardless. “I don't like Eunbi, from now on you're gonna call me mommy okay?” That's kinda hard to do, “That's too kinky, I'm just gonna get horny if I keep calling you that”, Literally too hard for you. “Hhhmmm, fine. Call me babe then, also stop calling Yujin babe, she doesn't deserve that name”, You nod and push her body away gently. “Go get dressed and clean your hair, babe. I want to go to sleep, see you in bed”, A little kiss to her cheek seems to brighten her mood considerably.

The night is still young, and Eunbi is still horny. So despite your begging she wouldn't let you go and just keep making out with you. Trying her best to mark you with hickeys or bite marks while also showering you with her scent to wash away any trace of Yujin. “Haaaa, I can get used to this. We will do this every night from now on, okay baby?” Eunbi sighs as she finally feels her thirst quenched, “No way I'm doing another 2 hour make out session. My lips are all bleeding now because of you”, It's not bleeding but it might as well be with how rough she's been biting them. “Don't be so dramatic, a few rounds of sex and then a long make out session, that's our nightly ritual. Now come here and cuddle with me baby, I want to feel you throughout the night”, The night is pleasant, her soft pillow is so comforting to sleep on. Her soft pillow is referring to her tits because she makes you rest on top of her the whole night.

“Are you okay? Like physically and mentally?” Minho watches over you with a lot of concern in his eyes, “Yeah I'm fine”, He has taken the shift of detention so he can talk to you to make sure you're okay. “Do you have a place to stay? Where have you been these last couple of days?” Fuck it go after the dilf as well? “I'm sleeping at my friend's place. Did Eunbi tell you what happened?”

“She said she found you and spent the night with you in the hospital until you woke up”, You decide to tell him a bit more about what happened between you and Eunbi, making him let out a sigh of relief. “That's good to hear, Eunbi is a great and kind person and she will definitely help you as best as she can. Thank god you actually agreed with my request to meet her back then”, This guy is actually the catalyst for all of this isn't he? Meeting Eunbi and showing her another side of you is the reason why she's actually falling for you. Perhaps you should invite him to the wedding as your best man.

“Listen, teach, I need to do something. Eunbi has been prohibiting me from going back home. I got some stuff there that means a lot to me. Can you just let me go and grab some of them real quick?” Minho stares at you disapprovingly, “You're trying to run from the detention aren't you?” Yes you do but it hurts you how little trust he puts in you. “I'll be back before the detention is over I promise. Please just this once, Eunbi wouldn't let me get near that place at all”, Just as you thought he's gonna say no, “Fine, you have an hour”, He said yes instead.

“An hour? Is he insane? I need 30 minutes of walking to get home”, Better save up your breath because you'll be running. While you're racing in the streets like a mad man your mind tries to outrun you. There's actually one other reason why you need to get home, an unfinished business with your mother. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Of course she's home, you've been watching her closely this whole time. “It's nice to see you again mom, even if it's the last time”

“Where did you go?” Yujin is exactly the last person you want to meet right now, “I tried to pick up my stuff”, You try to play it cool and shrugged. “Picking up your stuff? I thought I told you that you should never come home ever again”, Yujin grabs your ears and pinchs it, “It's fine I just need to grab some sentimental shit. What are you doing here? I thought you're suspended”, You slap her hand away. “Looking for you dummy, come on let's go home”, If Eunbi sees this you're gonna get in a huge trouble.

“I'm still in detention with Minho, he's gonna kill me if I don't come back” You push her hand away making her frown, “Babe, since when do you care about school?” Her eyes are filled with suspicion. “Since today, come on for a second, can you stop acting so edgy? I need school, I'm not you with a billionaire family ready to back me up”, Yujin frowns hearing that, “You could've joined my family”, Every second you spend talking to her the more likely Eunbi finds out.

“Your parents wouldn't like me, just go back home first okay? I'll start spending time with you after you get back to school. How long is your suspension?” You decide to take a gamble and hug her to calm her down, “Uuuggghhh, three days. You're going to my place tomorrow, after school just join me until dinner. I don't mind if you go back to that whore's place to sleep”, Yujin hugs you tight before kissing your cheek. She misses you so much she didn't question why you're wearing a scarf all of the sudden.

“Okay babe, see you tomorrow”, You give her a kiss before letting her go, hopefully Eunbi won't notice anything. “You ran back to your home?” Minho snitched on you, “I was trying to pick up my brother's stuff”, You turned to Minho who just sighs. “She came here when you were gone. I told you I'm not saying anything but I'm not gonna lie to my boss”, Never rely on a teacher to bail you out of anything ever again.

“So? What did you take from there?” Eunbi sees that you have returned empty handed, “Nothing, she sold them all off to the pawnshop”, You scoff and act pissed. “Is that true? Were you just lying so you can run to smoke?” Eunbi walks closer to you and the first thing she notices is the nicotine. “You are smoking again”, At least her sensitive nose doesn't pick up Yujin's perfume, “I'm just gonna leave you two for this one”, Minho slips away leaving you with the beast.

“Okay, I smoke on the way-” Eunbi slaps you, it hurts, the mental damage that is. “Why are you so adamant about smoking? Why are you so stubborn and going home? Can't you see that all I want is the best for you? The best for us”, She can't help but whisper the last sentence as tears start to fall down her eyes. For the first time, you felt guilty.

“I'm sorry Eunbi, I really am”, You pull her to a hug, hoping that this will calm her down before she breaks you. “I want us to be together, forever. Baby I told you to not do those stuff because I care for you. Why can't you understand that?” Eunbi hugs you back as she starts sobbing.

“I know, I'm sorry. I can't just stop smoking, and I have to know where my brother's stuff is. I'm sorry, I really am….. please don't cry”, Your words are pathetic, but your voice breaking as an alien feeling in your heart starts to break you apart, somewhat calms Eunbi down. “Promise me, that from now on you will do what I said okay? Promise me you will stop smoking. If you feel the withdrawal symptoms just tell me okay baby? Let me help you through that, okay? I love you, more than anything. We are all we have, you said that to me. So promise me you'll listen”, Eunbi pulls away and caresses your cheek.

“Okay, I promise I won't”, You were so close on tearing up yourself, “Good, but you're gonna have to continue your detention today, let's go home baby”

Detention sucks, and not even Eunbi can change that. “Eunbi can you-” A light slap on your cheek completely shuts you down. “No baby, what did we agree on earlier? Call me mommy” Eunbi smiles before she continues nibbling on your chest.

“Well mommy, at this point you've abused me more than what my real mom did” It was supposed to be a joke right? “What? Baby I don't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry”, Is the punchline for the joke the panic attack that Eunbi is having right now?

“No, I don't mean it like that. Just let me go okay? I'm bored being bedridden like this”, You try to stand up but Eunbi just throws herself to you, “No baby don't be mad please. I'm sorry, mommy can make it up to you, don't be mad” She pleads as her tears are about to burst.

“Ugggghhhh, I'm not mad, just let me go”, You, feeling embarrassed for making her this way try to hide it with your grumpiness. “Please, let mommy make it up to you okay?” Eunbi looks at you with her teary eyes making you relent, “Fine”

She leans down and gives you a kiss on the cheek, praying that you're actually not angry at her. Then her hand travels down and pulls your pants down, releasing your half erect cock. After all, despite your grumpiness you still find her actions to be hot.

Her lips start kissing your balls while her nose is inhaling your musky scent. “Mommy will take care of you sweetie”, Her breaths tickle your skin as her hand starts to jerk you. “Fuck you're getting good with this”, Hearing your compliment, Eunbi pulled your cock into her mouth that has gotten used to your size.

Looking down you can see Eunbi is staring right at you, fishing for more compliments while also trying to make sure you're enjoying this.

Fuck she look so hot.

The look in your eyes gives her enough encouragement to continue. Without any problems she deepthroated you while still maintaining eye contact. “Fuck Eunbi”, Although your moans is music to her ears, she still want to hear you call her mommy. So she picks up her pace, letting your cock slip in and out her mouth while her spit starts to drip down your balls. One of her hands holds onto your cock to keep it steady while the other one is massaging your ball.

Getting attacked like this you couldn't last longer than five minutes. Eunbi's eyes widened the moment she felt your cock throbbing in her throat. With ease she plunges all of it into her mouth while her tongue is doing its best to help you finish. “Fuck, I'm cumming”, Your hips buckled forward as you shoots your warm cum straight down her throat.

Being the good slut that she is, Eunbi finds your cum travelling into her stomach to be very ecstatic. Her muffled screams tell you she's having an orgasm. “Fuck, Eunbi come here”, You grab her face, she let go of your cock and just let her body pulled by your hand.

“I'm sorry for running away earlier okay?” Eunbi let out a sigh of relief hearing you willing to admit your fault, I'm not admitting shit, it's progress. “It's okay baby, but you know I just feel worried about you right? I only want you to be safe” She starts caressing your cheek.

“I know, I know, so let's just put this behind us okay? It doesn't matter anymore”, It doesn't? “Okay baby, I love you” She kisses your cheek. “I love you too, mommy. Now get those breasts free, I want to munch on them”

After a long intimate bonding session, the two of you just rest on her bed, completely drained of all energy. “Haaaa, you really bring out the worst in me baby. I actually think about not going to work tomorrow just so I can spend it with you” Eunbi sighs and continues making out with you.

“Well perfect attendance is overrat-” Your phone suddenly rings, cutting you off. “Who's that?” Eunbi said feeling pissed off having someone distract you from the moment you two are having. You grab your phone and pray that it's not Yujin, and in a way your prayers work.

The call is from the police department, informing you that they have found your mother dead from overdose in your house. “What? I thought you said she wasn't supposed to be home until tomorrow”, Eunbi looks at you with concern.

“I mean, she should be right?” Eunbi gets off the bed and walks to her desk and rummages through some papers. “No, it's today. You said you checked this paper today to see if your mom is home or not. What do you mean she's not home yet?” You did lie and told her you sneak to check the paper when she's having a shower earlier today.

“I don't know, did I get the date mixed up?” The clueless act doesn't faze her at all, “Baby, did you come home to kill your own mom?” Her anger is justified, but the lack of fear or distraught in her voice made you feel confused for a moment. “No” You deny such accusations, “Don't lie to me baby. You ran back there to end her, didn't you?” She presses on.

“Eunbi why would I-” She grabs your mouth and stops your denial, “You always call me by name when you try to hide something”, Honestly, Eunbi just doesn't like it when you call her that so she assumes the worst. “I….. fuck I did, so what?” That's a bold move dude.

Eunbi stands there glaring at you intensely. She wasn't angry that you killed your mom, she's angry that you might get in trouble for it. You see Eunbi is simply out of her mind right now, deep down she's also been planning to eliminate your mother. So seeing you jump in like this with such sloppy work enrages her to no end.

“You're grounded”, Her loud yell only makes you even more confused. “Grounded? By the police department?” You tried to make a joke, “No, by me. I am not letting you go out of this place ever again. You've lost your privileges young man. From now on you will go to school with me, stay there until the school is finished and come home with me. I am not taking the risk of you doing something stupid like this again”, Eunbi let out a roar.

“Eunbi, what are you thinking? What actually comes through your mind when I told you that I killed my mom”, You stand up and walk closer to her, “What I'm thinking? I think you're being an idiot for doing something so rash. You're putting yourself at risk, you're putting US at risk”, She grabs your collar and slams you to the wall before pressing herself against you.

“Is that so? The idea that I have taken someone's life isn't a bother for you?” You stare deep into her eyes that has become an abyss, “I would've killed that bitch herself if I wasn't busy saving your life back then”, And the abyss gazes back.

“Alright baby, now what do we do? Just ignore it and do nothing?” A warm smile forms on your face as a wave of relief washes over you. “Yes, as your legal guardian I will tell them you are not ready to talk about this and have them deal with the corpse themselves. She's not your mom, she never acted like one so she won't be treated as one”

“Okay then, sorry about this babe. I was just too hot headed at the time”, Your hand reaches out and caresses her face, “Fine, I'll let you off this one time. You're still grounded indefinitely, and if I ever see you do something that could risk us again, I'll lock you down to the bed myself” She throws you back on the bed. “Okay mommy, good to know you're just as batshit insane as I am”

“I can't believe you didn't even try to contact me. Am I not your girlfriend?” Yujin is angry, rightfully so since you have been ghosting her these last few days. “Baby I told you I had a lot in my mind. I'm sorry, okay? Can I make it up to you in any way?” Why are you so hellbent on playing this game? Is Eunbi not enough? Is her approval of your murder not enough for you?

“Baby, you will come back home with me today. I don't fucking care how much you like that bitchy therapist and how much you owe her. You're coming back home, with me”

Right now is lunch break, you should've been in Eunbi's room having lunch together. Unfortunately Yujin pulls you aside to the rooftop where she uses her strength and size to easily overpower you and pin you to the wall.

“Baby, come on. Calm down for a second”, Feeling cornered, because you are, you decided to use the oldest trick in the book. “Ugggghhhh, you can't just keep doing that”, Yujin said in between her moans as you started making out with her. “I'll talk with Eunbi to see if I can go home with you tonight. What if we do something stupid? Right here, right now?” Your hands start to squeeze her ass making her moan even harder.

“You're gonna fuck me here just because I'm mad? No you just don't want to talk to me about what's happening aren't you?” Yujin frowns seeing through your intent, “I do, so are you gonna stop me?” Your hands travel up and start squeezing her tits as well. “No”

She leans deeper into the kiss while her hand starts to unbutton your shirt. There's a problem with that, you are ridden with hickeys from your mommy. So in the spurt of the moment you just switch places and pin her to the wall instead. “I miss you babe, I really do”, And to show her how genuine you are, you easily pull up her top and expose her bra.

“We don't have much time, and you better stop yourself from screaming your lungs out”

This isn't the time for foreplay, she's already soaking wet down there and you're kinda missing her body. “Oh fuck, I almost forgot how big this thing is” Yujin immediately grabs your cock as soon as you pull down your pants. “You ready babe?” You pull down her panties and she immediately pulls your cock to align it with her pussy. “Do it”

As you plunge yourself inside her Yujin sinks her teeth into your shoulder. Her muffled scream was followed by the sounds of clapping as you don't bother doing things slowly. “Fuck, I almost forgot how tight you are” You grunted as you pound her like there's no tomorrow.

“What is going on here?” A voice from behind you made your body freeze, “Ugghhhh, fuck off” Yujin grunted as her face crumbled. “Are you two…….” It has to be Eunbi, out of everyone that could catch you red-handed it has to be her. Awkwardly you pull out your dick from Yujin and put your pants back up. “Come. With. Me. Now”, Despite your reluctance you still turn around to see Eunbi's face. It's ugly, like holy shit she's furious. Any moment she might just maul you or Yujin.

“Tchhh”, Yujin scoffs as she dresses back up, there's no hint of embarrassment or guilt in her face and demeanour. “Come on”, You try to nudge Yujin to start walking, hoping she won't agitate Eunbi further. Unfortunately Yujin decides to wrap her arms around yours which almost makes Eunbi snap. “Are you gonna lead us or what?” Oh Jesus Christ you're so dead.

“Follow me” Eunbi answered, she's using every ounce of her logical reasoning to stop her body from jumping and just throwing Yujin off the rooftop. The three of you walk into Eunbi's office, the break is already over so nobody sees Yujin being all lovey dovey with you. “Don't be so sour baby, we'll be okay” Yujin tries to cheer you up seeing how tense you are. Yet her actions only make you even more tense. Even from behind you can see how enraged Eunbi is.

Honestly you're not really scared of Eunbi being angry at you. You're scared that she might do something rash.

Hurting Yujin can fuck both of us over. She's rich enough to fuck you over back Eunbi. Her family will go after your head if she gets hurt. I can protect you from that, even if I do it would mean the end of us. Goddamnit Eunbi if Yujin gets hurt and she finds out I picked you she will go after my head as well.

Well you know, what goes around comes around. Karma is a bitch. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. There's countless phrases and advice that could apply here.

If you want to hurt her at least finish her off.

Huh?

Yeah, that could work. Nobody knows me and Yujin is dating, and I've checked her phone a few times to make sure it stays that way. Although Eunbi did say her butler or something came to see my face. That could be problematic.

Are you actually thinking about killing Yujin?

Please keep your cool Eunbi, we can't deal with double murder.

Huh?

“So? Are you gonna say anything?” Oh right, you three have reached Eunbi's office already. Eunbi sits behind her desk while you and Yujin sit next to each other in front of her. Eunbi hasn't said anything which annoys Yujin further. “Do you have any idea how angry I am right now?” Not really sure who Eunbi is talking to, but you have a suspicious feeling that she's addressing you directly. “Yeah sorry, if you didn't lock him up in your house for so long we wouldn't be so thirsty for some action till we decided to do it in school” Yujin selflessly decides to take the aggro off of you.

“I lock him up? He deserves to stay in his home with me” Well none of the two has brought up the fact that you're two timing them yet. “Who are you to keep him like that? I'm his girlfriend, you're just an old hag who tries to act like he's your son because the truth is nobody wants you” That was rude, however Eunbi doesn't really listen past the first part.

“You're his girlfriend? He broke with you already” Well let's not act like this isn't expected. Yunjin just frowned at hearing it, ready to yell back at Eunbi. “Can we just-”, You tried to cool them down but Eunbi already lost her cool.

“HE'S MINE, HE'S MINE AND MINE ALONE. YOU FUCKING WHORE”

With incredible speed she lunges at Yujin, one of her hands is holding a cutter. You can stop her, you can jump right now and grab that hand.

“DIE”, Yet in the end, you didn't stop her. You just sat there and watched as Eunbi sank her cutter into Yujin's neck with so much power it broke the blade. She doesn't stop there, she swings her cutter again and continues stabbing Yujin's neck. The latter doesn't even get to let out a scream of help as her body falls down to the ground.

Yunjin desperately tries to stop Eunbi with her hands, however her blood is pouring out at an alarming rate, and so does her consciousness. Her hands fall to the ground as her eyes are staring at Eunbi with horror. She glances at you, hoping that you would help her. Yet all she found was a cold pair of eyes staring at her with no emotions. Your lips curled up a little, it wasn't intentional, you just subconsciously find Eunbi's madness to be entertaining. As her life is slipping away, there's only one thing lingering in Yujin's mind.

Fucking maniac

Despite Yujin being undoubtedly dead, Eunbi still continuously stabs the lifeless body while her mouth keeps muttering some words you can't hear clearly. “This is gonna be a mess”, Finally you make a move, standing up and grab Eunbi's head from the side. “Baby, baby come here” Eunbi grabs onto your leg and hugs it, her face is stained by blood stains as she looks up to you. Her eyes are filled with nothing, as if it was a void that's staring back at you.

“She's gone baby, no more distraction okay? It's just you and me from now on. Don't you ever leave me again okay? It's just you and me now, now and forever”

You silently watch as Eunbi is hugging your leg tightly, her breath slowly starts to calm down as her mind slowly takes in the situation she's in. A laugh involuntarily escapes your mouth, “Right, just you and me baby. Now and forever”

#kpop fanfic #kpop gg #kpop smut #male reader #izone smut #izone eunbi #eunbi smut #kwon eunbi

544 notes · View notes