#do they know how to add and subtract

[lunavagans]

We all agree Vio reads a lot, right? He‘d probably need at least reading glasses fairly soon if his luck and that glorious Hero‘s Spirit let him down (shh, we ignore how that fits into him and archery for the sake of the bit). But (according to personal experience) before one gets dearly needed glasses, they typically run around doing… expressions. Just imagine that „calm and collected“ (to quote Red: „cool“) guy going

Blue: … This is getting embarassing.

Red: Don‘t insult his efforts, Blue :( You can do it, Vio!!!

Vio: At least I possess the reading proficiency required to have a chance at deciphering this sign.

Blue: WE SHARED A BODY THROUGHOUT SCHOOL!

Vio: That we did. And we‘ve established that not all memories are shared, didn‘t we?

Green: Alright, that‘s enough, guys. The sign reads „Do Not Keep Going, Visitors Unwelcome“, by the way.

Red: Oh, we should continue! Whoever‘s at the end of this path must be lonely from not getting any visitors :D

Vio: I agree, we should send Red ahead. That lonely person will be overwhelmed by his demeanor enough to not harm him and we can look around in the meantime.

Green: Maybe you‘ll go instead, your charming disposition today is sure to brighten up their day, as well.

[lilacandladybugs]

wtf is discrete math this is silly. free the math. let the math be scandalous

[clowndensation]

these math lessons are so funny, because the lesson i watch will be like you understand this, right?:

and then the practice problems are like. we understand this is tricky, but give it your best shot:

[sysig]

Red Eyes and Evil Time, practically the same thing right (Patreon)

[littlekingbergara]

it makes me so ridiculously happy whenever ryan refers to shane as his best friend. they don't even have to say it, that man IS his best friend but hearing the words come out of his mouth is everything. but sometimes i feel like it's not mutual? like, ryan's been shouting how shane's his best friend to the world, even made him his groomsman (was he the best man?) but why do i lowkey feel as if shane doesn't reciprocate that? obviously shane's been saying how he's his friend and has defended ryan time and time again, but is shane ryan's best friend but ryan isn't shane's best friend? or maybe compared to ryan, shane really is just privy with his personal life? (also ryan isn't even one of shane's groomsman]

i don't wanna look deep into their relationship because they're real people but yaknow

shane was not ryan's best man but the fact that ryan wasn't in his wedding should nottt stick out to you as support for shane not reciprocating ryan's feelings or whatever. ryan had ten people up with him at his wedding and shane had four. ryan's wedding was a lot bigger than shane's and there are so many other factors that go into choosing those people that ryan not being in it cannot possibly be a statement that he doesn't care about him the same.

you're definitely right at the end tho shane is more private with his personal life. and they are real people with a private friendship as well as their public one and we have no way of knowing what goes on there but i definitely Don't think theres any one-sidedness or uncertainty or unevenness about where they stand with each other.

[clarasoswinsoswald]

yeah im fine, just - *starts new task* *starts new task* *starts new task* *starts new task* *starts new task* *starts new task* *starts new task* *starts new task* *starts new task* *starts new task* *starts new task* *starts new task*

[turnedpalefromlackofsun]

what if i dont even have a condition and its just more american propaganda floated by the CIA to try to keep asian americans out of college (not asians cuz international tuition go brrrr)

they tried with race policy and soft propaganda in high impact cities.

i wouldnt put it past them.

[mediamime]

beating off crippling depression the only way I know how ✨

It’s unfinished with a chunky brush because I’m chasing a vision beyond my capabilities 🫠

Lyric is from Holy War by Rainbow Kitten Surprise.

I add/subtract from my playlists a lot because sometimes I experience A Thought and need to act on it, but if you like my particular brand of suffering in music form, here:

Unrelated, but those of you that have sent me asks in the last few weeks I’ll get back to you soon - just haven’t had much willpower to do Anything lately.

That’s all, have a nice day, bye 🐸

[deykxn]

The way I like to play is all about letting sims do their own thing and following their goals, making their own stories, and kind of just seeing where the game (or rather mods) take me. It’s more fun when things happen unexpectedly, and it helps keep the game from getting boring!!

You can mix this playstyle into any challenge like Rags to Riches, 100 Babies, whatever - It’s not really a challenge on its own, just a different approach to playing The Sims 4! 🙂‍↕️ https://www.youtube.com/deykxn This list will continue to get updated over time, probably missing some rules but hopefully this makes for a good base! Recommended Mods: Coolspear's Improved Autonomy Have Some Personality Please Social Variety Wants & Fears Lumpinou Pro Library LGBTQIA+ Mod Drama Unleashed Carl's Gameplay Overhaul Sim Control Hub Romantic Extensions More Kisses Better Midlife Crisis Goals General Rules: No cheats for money No exiting without saving Try to keep most interactions autonomous - No instigated flirting/woohoo - Friendly Interactions are okay to instigate - Mod interactions for storytelling mods are okay to instigate do NOT stop your sims from being mean/arguing!! this is something i know a lot of us do but if sims don't get along let them not get along - and turn mean autonomy back on with mcc if you've turned it off!! - Everytime you add an outfit in CAS subtract -100 Simoleons from your Sim! Mindset: Before you do anything major in the game - ask yourself “would this actually happen in real life?” Does it make sense for your sim’s current situation? How would it fit into their story? Try to treat your sims like they’re real people with emotions, goals, and limitations!!

Housing: Don't purchase a fully decorated perfect little house, always move your sims into either empty lots or shells and fill them up over time! We are allowed to move If a house was built up rags to riches style we are allowed to ‘sell’ it for it’s full price If moved into a shell we won’t get money for the property from moving out Repairs must be made using the ‘repair’ interactions or hiring a service 'replacing' is not allowed For every lot challenge we can put one lot trait that brings in a positive - Simple Living lot trait has to be applied Wants & Fears: Try to complete at least one want before each refresh Fears do not have to be conquered Try to complete the heirs Bucket List - Bucket List goals have to be randomized If in a midlife crisis pay extra special attention to those goals!! Personality: Aspirations - Randomized allowed to re-roll the aspiration after each birthday! Sims 4 Aspiration Generator Traits - Randomized Personality Discoveries have to be decided by the yes or no wheel Yes No Picker Wheel - Get Yes or No Answer by Spinning

Jobs: Not allowed to take Phone Job opportunities For the heir try to pick a ‘open career’ e.g. Small Business, Freelance, etc. - Allowed to do Odd Jobs/Side Hustles/Part-time Jobs Career has to align with the sims’ personality You are allowed to apply for goverment benefits Spouses/Partners: No moving in until Sim gets the want or Partner proposes it - Partner does not bring in money from moving in!! No Engagement/Marriage until Sim gets a want or partner proposes it - If Partner proposes moving in/marriage/engagement the yes or no wheel has to be spun Yes No Picker Wheel - Get Yes or No Answer by Spinning Wicked Whims: Random Sex offers have to go through the yes or no wheel - established partners can just accept/decline Seductive Looks have to go through the yes or no wheel Pregnancy: If one, or both, Parents do not want a child the yes or no wheel has to decide Yes No Picker Wheel - Get Yes or No Answer by Spinning - If the wheel says yes to terminating the Pregnancy but we do not have money to terminate it the pregnancy will go through!

Offspring: Naming: Go down the ABC per Sim Traits: Always randomized - unless you have an established idea for the sim Heir can be whoever we vibe with the most Lumpinou Mods: Interactions have to always be decided by fate Death: If a Sim dies we are not allowed to plead for their life Cannot bring a Sim back from the dead No interactions with ghosts unless the Sim is very into the Paranormal Wheel of Drama Can be used whenever you're bored! Not needed but definetly adds a little spice to calm eras. 🙂‍↕️ https://spinthewheel.app/sims-4-wheel-of-drama Save File: Cheating for money/aspirations/etc is allowed for anyone outside of the main heir for storytelling purposes - If you need some townies make sure to check out #deytownies on the gallery!! DON'T get caught up trying to make the perfect save file - grab some builds from the Gallery, swap out EA townies for ones you like better, and let your world grow and evolve as you go. It doesn’t have to be perfect!! Our main Priority is having FUN!!

[avelera]

Viktor and Jayce both need to take some non-STEM classes

I'm joking but also a little not-joking that this is in fact, a theme in the show.

In Season 1.08, Ambessa meets Jayce for the first time after he's become a councilor. One of the first questions she asks him is, "Do they teach military history at your Academy, Mr. Talis?"

Jayce takes this as a set up for an insult against him. He's rattled by the bathhouse and braced for a fight. He's so riled, in fact, that he completely misses what Ambessa is probing him for there.

Ambessa wasn't setting him up to make him feel small, like Jayce feared, she wanted to know if he had a military history background or even the beginnings of the skills needed as an engineer to understand or counter some of the political manipulations she's about to pull on him.

Jayce answers: I'm not sure.

Not only has Jayce never taken a military class, he as a scientist doesn't even know if his school offers it.

That made him easy pickings for Ambessa. She wouldn't even need to be subtle, she could use the most basic tricks in the book against a proud young man with only a scientific background and know he wouldn't even begin to have the tools to pick up let alone counter what she's doing to him.

And then we get to Viktor in S2. Now, I think "How much of Cult Leader Viktor is even Viktor?" is a fair question. But the whole Machine Herald ethos he seems to be working towards in his inner monologue in 2.06 is yet another example of "Won't someone PLEASE make these boys take some sort of liberal arts class? An ethics course? SOMETHING?"

Viktor is working his way (Hexcore influence or no) to the conclusion that many frustrated young activists have hit upon when their activism doesn't work.

He tried to help people. But people didn't want to be helped or didn't cooperate with the way he wanted to help them.

His conclusion? Clearly it's the people who are wrong. It's the people who need to be changed.

To quote Pratchett, "“People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. And so the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn't that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people.”

And of course, once you start to see people as the problem, that people need to be fundamentally changed, added, or subtracted from, when you treat people as things, that is when the real evil begins.

You have to accept people as they are and work within those bounds, because otherwise you have to change people and that pretty much always leads to the sort of atrocities that the Machine Herald seems gearing up to do. Namely, add and subtract away the people, or the characteristics of people, that don't fit his vision for the world.

And all I can think is: won't Piltover Academy please for the love of god make your tech bros take some goddamn history and philosophy classes please??

[gowerhardcastle]

Seven Hard-Won Tips Specifically for Writing Interactive Fiction

This is pretty fun, putting together these lists of writing tips. Today's list is explicitly about interactive fiction.

The trick to writing great interactive fiction that anticipates, foreshadows, introduces themes early, and has interesting choices that set up later events is to *go back and rewrite the earlier chapters* after you’ve written later chapters.  That way you look like a genius who can plot things out way in advance, but in fact, you just went back and made it seem that way.  Good writing is recursive, and that’s just how it is.

I start with an outline, then I write a code skeleton, leaving blanks for the prose, and then go in and fill in the prose.  This way I’m either in code-brain or prose-writing-brain.  I don’t like switching between the two.  Then, after than phase, I go back one more time and I do the callbacks—you know.  Might the main character be wearing a feathered boa in this scene?  Here’s some custom text.  Might the main character be limping?  Here’s some more custom text.  If you do that after you write the prose, you’ll have the leisure to think of anything fun and specific you can use. 

Callbacks tell players that their choices are unique, important, memorable, and valued by the writer.  It tell them that their choices have led them down their own particular path that the writer is rewarding with unique prose.  It doesn’t have to have a stat effect or create a new fork in the narrative.  Great prose is the reward.

Find an group of alpha readers to read your work early and often and then shut up while they read it and just listen to what they say and comment.  You must resist the urge to explain because you won’t be there at everyone’s house when they are playing your game or reading your narrative.

Make rules for yourself about how you are going to name your variables.  Don’t do what I did, with a horrible blend of sometimes calling a chracter “gil” in the variables and sometimes “gilberto”; sometimes “fitz” and sometimes “fitzie”; sometimes “metvyv” and sometimes “met_tabby”—ugh!  This is self-torture.  Don’t do what I did.

Keep your initial creation of variables super organized.  Write comments in there explaining what these variables are and when you might need them.  I comment most when I am creating variables.  You might create a variable in chapter one called “mustardallergy” that you don’t need until chapter eight, so write a comment that says “variables for chapter eight” and stick that “mustardallergy” variable under it.  I didn’t do this for my first games, and I regretted it. 

Use generic variables and make your life easy.  If you are writing a scene at the racetrack, just make a “xrace” modifier and add and subtract to it willy-nilly to represent just general ups and downs of fortune.  Stub your toe?  -5 xrace.  Wear a fine hat?  +8 xrace.  Throw around some money at the bar?  +12 xrace!  Eat some bad shellfish?  -15 xrace! Then add xrace to every test.  It’s a way of tracking just the ups and downs of fortune.  You can omit it when it doesn’t make sense, but it’s just a great way to make tests and rewards and penalties cumulatively meaningful without having to have a billion variables tracking every last *reason* for the rewards and penalties.

Discover more mini-essays about writing interactive fiction, writing in general, and the process of writing the forthcoming Jolly Good series below.

[otto-s-alskling]

Bars and bathroom breaks

Simon Riley X Reader (It's a smut, deal with it)

TW: Mentions of alcohol, praise kink (if you squint), breeding kink, did I say alcohol?, semi public sex, a lot of drunk Simon talking

Another mission success. It was to be expected that on missions that went as hard as this one gets its reward, namely by getting as wasted as the team could. Soap managed to wrangle them all into a new pub that's filled with probably the biggest shelf of alcohol that Ghost have seen in a local place, and surprisingly, a band stage, DJ station, and a dance floor in the other half, swarming with locals and tourists alike, much to Gaz's delight. Price chuckled as he surveyed the scene before looking at the four.

"Alright, you know the rules. Don't subtract from the population, don't add to the population, don't get us kicked out, don't get us into jail. If you get arrested, you're on your own, I ain't posting bail." The captain reminded them just before losing sight of Soap who most likely went straight for the bar.

Gaz shrugged before smiling, "I'll go help with the drinks, the usuals for now."

Ghost begrudgingly nodded before grasping your arm, following Price who found a free booth, luckily.

"Big place, am I right?" Price commented as he sat down, which earned an eye roll from behind Ghost's medical face mask.

"Too crowded for me." He muttered and placed his hand on your knee, as if he'd lose you in the crowd despite you just staying in your seat.

The older Brit shook his head, chuckling, just as the other two members returned with a tray of drinks and to Ghost's horror, Soap with a tray of probably at least three rounds of shots for everyone. God have mercy.

•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•

Alcohol flowed and alcohol went. The team lost count of how much they had and had Soap charming a random brunette in a corner, Gaz talking to a few ladies in a different booth, Price on guard duty on the table and surprisingly, you and Ghost on the dance floor.

The music was mellow, definitely meant for couples, but the intoxicated Brit didn't care, just swaying against you slowly, humming along with the melody.

"... Hm, you're quiet." He whispered against your ear, earning a soft huff.

"Just didn't expect you to be a dancer." Your voice whispered back as his hands tightened around your waist.

"It's just a bit of swaying, innit? Can't be that hard of a lad to do." His accent was more punctuated, more pronounced in the last hour that everyone had been getting wasted on. "Reckon you deserve one for surviving out there."

"Just a dance, huh?" You joked and he chuckled before pressing his mask against your ear, almost as if he's... Kissing your earlobe.

"Maybe a bit more than a dance." He huskily whispered. That got your attention as you looked up, seeing him scanning the surroundings and if the others are thoroughly... Distracted. Before you can utter another word, he grabbed your hand, tugging you down the hall to the bathrooms and immediately entered the gender neutral one, locking it behind him.

"Lieutenan-" Your words were halted by his gloves on your mouth as he pulled his mask down before shushing you with a torrid kiss.

You felt his stubble against your chin, his hands landing on the back of your head and one on your hip as he wrapped his arm around you. His tongue was insistent, pressing against your lips before sliding in, finding yours and twirling around it, the taste of alcohol on his tongue and breath almost as intoxicating as a brand new shot.

It was so mind numbing that you didn't notice the hand on your head guiding yours to wrap around his neck, then sliding down to your ass, touching the soft flesh and hoisting you up the countertop. He pulled away, panting before latching his lips on your jaw and neck, fingers gently tracing on your jeans and flicking your pants' button open, zipper finally jolting you to focus as he opened it.

"Shhh ... Don't make a sound, don't want us getting caught now, yeah?" He gruffly murmured as he pawed at you, as if the alcohol in his mind had unleashed the tension that had been brewing between the two of you for weeks. He took no time before pulling you off the countertop, making you face the mirror, seeing your face as red as a tomato, making him chuckle as he licked your ear. "All red for me... Let's see if you can hold back from screaming." He amusedly added as he finally pushed your pants and underwear down, followed by his belt buckle clicking off.

"Eyes on the mirror, love. I wanna see this." He murmured as he held on your jaw while his other hand guided his cock close to your heat, running the tip up and down your hole, teasing but not yet entering. Bastard. He smirked as he watched your reaction, that neediness in your breath and the way your hips followed, as if beckoning him to end your suffering already.

He played the white knight advocate and slowly, fucking achingly slowly eased his cock in, watching the o of your mouth and the way your eyes rolled back as he pushed inch by delicious inch all into your heat. "Shh... Shh... Good girl... Fuckin hell... Better than I imagined..." He was gonna let you adjust but you just had to grind back. "Fucking bitch in heat."

He pushed down on the small of your back, pressing you on to the countertop while his other hand grabbed onto your hair, grasping from the base of it as he made you arch up, forced to see yourself in the mirror as he ruts into you like a madman.

"Bitch couldn't fucking wait huh? Greedy little pussy just had to get more? You're such a - God, fuck, you feel so fucking good." For a man who was as stoic as Ghost, he was vocal against your ears, taunting and praising, the scent of alcohol and sex now filling the bathroom and the rhythmic slapping of wet flesh against flesh.

His hands moved from your hair to your jaw, cradling your face as he kept slamming his hips into you. "Look at that face. Picture perfect." He murmured as he watched your reactions of you getting railed on the mirror.

A few thrusts in got your eyes rolling, cheeks flushed and the thing about keeping quiet has been thrown out the window as you moaned in tandem of his movements. Amber eyes bore into your face before he made you turn to the side and kissed you deeply, tongue twirling against yours sloppily.

"Gonna cum like this? Gonna milk me, baby? Ain't got no rubber, you still want it?" He taunted but you were too cockdrunk to care and just nodded vehemently in between moans. He chuckled darkly as he adjusted and wrapped his arms around your waist, eyes still trained on the mirror.

"This cunt's mine." He muttered before using the countertop as a leverage, slamming his hips hard into yours, making you clutch the edges, profanities spilling out from your lips as you began feeling the tightness in your core hike up fast. You could barely say please before a blinding hot static filled your mind, your knees buckling as you came and creamed all over his cock.

"Fuck, that's it. That's it. God, fucking milk me!" He crazed, still watching your face fill with euphoria on the mirror before his hips stuttered and hilted deep, painting your insides with his warm spurts of virile seed. "Fucking perfect... Oh yeah... God, gonna breed you... Fuck."

He stayed inside for a bit, watching you collapse on the countertop as he chuckled, kissing your shoulders and the back of your neck. "Good girl. Perfection... Gonna stay in for a bit, yeah? Make sure it takes."

First actual smut. Wow. Where did my fluffy writing go? 😅😅😅

[meguwumibear]

The first time the two of you run into her, Zayne’s body goes rigid. You’re on your way to lunch at a noodle restaurant he scoped out a few weeks prior after developing a feel for your tastes. She’s dressed in her hunter uniform, which means she’s working another weekend shift, against her doctor’s orders. He wonders how much sleep she’s getting, and if she’s eating a full three meals.

Zayne’s mind runs from him as he stares at her, losing track of what’s happening in his body, forgetting who’s tucked up against his side. He doesn’t even realize how tightly he’s begun to grip your hand until you give his a gentle, questioning squeeze. The pressure and warmth of your fingers should ground him, but it’s been a while since he’s seen her outside the office. Thoughts of her and her wellbeing form out of habit, one he continues to struggle to break.

If you were less observant, perhaps he could explain away his sudden change in demeanor, but Zayne has always liked his women knife sharp. Words have failed him in the past. The sentences he strings together are always too curt, too short, too clinical to carry a conversation or make his true feelings known. One must look not only at what he has said, but at what his actions convey if they want to understand him.

(He does not tell her that he missed her, only that he checked the weather where she stayed.)

You’re fluent in latent content—it’s one of the many things he likes about you—which is how he knows you don’t miss the way his eyes flick to her. Or that he can’t seem to peel them away. You frown, but say nothing, which makes him feel like a fucking jackass. She doesn’t want him. Not in this life. And, he’s risking whatever he has with you by staring at her, at the woman who left him, at the woman who never stays.

You wait until you’re back at his place to ask about her. Your tone is soft, curious, but your eyes are unable to meet his. They keep looking over his shoulder or at his feet.

“Who is she?” you want to know, only he doesn’t know how to answer that. He doesn’t know how he could possibly begin to explain to you that he’s known for her lifetimes without sounding like some delusional, lovesick pup still hung up on his ex.

“A wraith,” he tells you since that’s as close to the truth as he can get. “She’s someone from my past.”

You hum, then add, “I figured. It looked like you saw a ghost when we crossed paths with her.”

Zayne wishes you were angry—he feels better equipped for that—but you just sound sad.  It makes his heart feel unusually heavy. It aches, like it may drop out from behind his ribs and leave a dark cavity in his chest.

“About your ex,” he starts, though he isn’t quite sure where he’s going with this. The night you first met, you cried to Zayne about them, but they haven’t come up since.

“Would you believe me if I told you they were a hunter too?”

Zayne doesn’t miss how you speak of them in the past tense.

“Were?” he asks.

You look at him finally, and there is pain in your eyes; they glisten with something all too familiar to him. “They died,” you say, voice thick with grief, “protecting the city from Wanders.”

This, at least, is something Zayne understands. He meets grief life after life, two old, begrudging friends.

“You never told me,” he says.

You shrug, “Most people don’t like to talk about death.”

“I’m not most people.”

“No,” you agree, “you’re not.”

Zayne thinks of the jasmine you brought him your first night over. True to your word, you help him dry the plant so he can keep it forever. He thinks of what you told him that night, when he nearly collapsed at the sight of the taunting white petals. You told him what humans perceive as death is just energy changing form. Perhaps that belief formed in the aftermath of your exes passing.

“Do you believe in past lives?” he asks.

Your brows knit together as you give the question some thought.

“I wouldn’t rule it out,” you eventually reply. “If nothing is ever added or subtracted from the universe, an argument could be made in its favor. Why do you ask? Is she from one of yours?”

“She is,” he tells you. “She’s from quite a few.”

“Oh,” you reply as you look away from him. Your frown deepens, and Zayne hates that there’s nothing he can do to stop it. “I think this might be my first life. My first human one anyway. I was probably a bird before this. A flighty one like an arcticyon or something.”

Sometimes, Zayne can’t believe you’re real.

“It’s a privilege to have met you here, then,” he tells you. “And, I’ll look forward to meeting you again.”

You flash him a small smile, “You think you’ll find me in the next one?”

He returns the fond look you give him, “I will certainly try.”

[fraugwinska]

Incorrect Alastor x Reader Quotes Part 3

Because I love doing and you love giggling at these! :>

Alastor: I don't know how to tell you this, but… I love you. Reader: That's great, Alastor. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

Reader: I'm trash. Alastor: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you? Reader: Reader: You smooth motherfucker. Reader: And yes it does.

Angel: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room. Reader: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you. Alastor walks in Reader: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

Reader: That was so hot, Alastor. Alastor: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets. Reader: I'm so in love with you.

Reader: Alastor, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right? Alastor, naked in Reader's bed: No, I absolutely do not. Reader, already taking off their clothes: Fuck… Me neither.

Reader: is wearing silk pants How does this look? Alastor: Like its slips on and off really easily. Reader: Alastor: No, I didn't mean it like that- Angel, grinning: We know what you meant.

Angel: Husk! I can't do this stupid math! Husk: What’s the math problem? Angel: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don’t multiply. Reader, covering Alastor's ears, while Husk smacks Angel upside the head: Not going to lie that was hella smooth.

Alastor: I’m going to take you out Reader: Great, it’s a date! Alastor: I meant that as a threat... Reader: See you at five!

Charlie: Hey, Reader, are you free on Friday? Like around eight? Reader: Yeah. Charlie: And you, Alastor? Alastor: Umm… yes? Charlie: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date! Alastor: Did she just-

Lucifer: So… who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon? Reader: We're chopsticks! Lucifer: Well… that's cute! Lucifer: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly? Alastor: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

[hypersaline]

NPC and Townie Ager

This is a tombstone found in misc/misc that helps keep townies'/NPCs' ages in sync with playables' during rotational play. It ages them by one day each time the relevant pie menu option is clicked (or each day at 23:30 if auto-aging is turned on) and teleports them to the lot for birthdays and old age deaths. It requires HB's Easy Inventory Check and can be downloaded here at SFS or here at Mediafire. There's no preview image for this, but exhaustive detail is available behind the cut.

Credits:

The change-model interaction was mostly taken from Inge's teleporter cat; it's possible-to-probable that I cannibalized other mods as well when I first made this, but if so I no longer know which ones.

General notes:

There's a shift-click neighborhood age randomization option. It will only affect townies/NPCs at the beginning of their current lifestage, so use it first thing if you're going to use it.

For birthdays/old age deaths, the sim will materialize close to the ager object, so it's best placed outdoors and outside of any locked gates. There's an option to change it into a small rug for easier hiding.

NPCs will be retired to the townie pool when they have a birthday.

Teens will age into adults, but there'll be a one-day-left notification in case you'd like to send them to uni.

Elders will stand quietly near the ager for up to an hour before dying. Everyone on the lot will notice, like with other on-lot deaths, and you'll have to deal with tombstones manually.

The object doesn't alter the birthday/death functions and shouldn't conflict with mods that do. You'll still need the usual bugfixes, particularly for nonplayable children's aspirations and for multiple deaths occurring at once.

There's a shift-click menu option that'll automatically make townies/NPCs grow up well; another will make them grow up well and also make their deaths peaceful. Sims that trigger a fear as they're aging (like teens who don't go to college) might still age up badly.

Known issue: the object's handling of elders has a bug or two I haven't tracked down. Occasionally an elder will persistently refuse to die until you move them in; occasionally an elder will have their age reset when they're supposed to die. Neither should cause any other issues.

Known issue: under some circumstances the ager will mistakenly grow townies/NPCs up one day into a new lifestage. Saving the game right after the ager does its thing will prevent this.

Exceptions to aging:

YAs, pets, zombies, vampires, servos, any townie/NPC with a bottle of Elixir of Life in inventory, and (in some cases) townies/NPCs that've been generated but haven't visited any lot yet won't be aged.

Babies in the adoption pool will have days subtracted but won't automatically have birthdays. You'll be notified but will have to manually summon and toss them.

Special townies like downtownies, garden clubbers, etc., will age if otherwise eligible. Note that there are (were?) bugs in how the game generates vacation locals and tourists; if yours die off, you might want to make their replacements yourself.

Not all NPCs will age, and the list of those that will is somewhat arbitrary: burglars, cops, firefighters, maids, nannies, gardeners, repairpeople, mail carriers, paperkids, cashiers, bartenders (comm lot), bartenders (party), professors, streakers, coaches, cafeteria workers, servers, hosts, DJs, business reporters, landlords, butlers.

To add NPCs I skipped, open up the 'Sub - Ageable NPC?' BHAV, scroll to the last line, choose "Ins/false" in the special buttons, switch "Const" to "Literal", make sure the Decimal box is not ticked, and enter the NPC type number from this list.

[messy-gemini1]

Incorrect shit i think Hellsing characters (and reader) would say cause mamas bored

Alucard: *holds a gun out to Reader* Reader: I-I don't believe in guns. Alucard: Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it. ______

Reader: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you... Alucard: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey. ______

Reader: I’m doing what I can to jog your memory. Seras: It’s jogging, I guess. Its tiddies are jiggling a little. Reader: Nice. ______

Reader: Go fuck yourself. Alucard, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch Reader: GET OUT! ______

Reader: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free Blood packets. Alucard: Marry me. ______

Integra: We'll talk about this later. Alucard: Fine, I won’t be listening. ______

Reader: *about Seras and Integra* They make a cute couple, huh? Alucard: They certainly are standing next to each other. ______

Integra: Seras, you'll be working with Reader and Alucard. Seras: Alright! My fantasy threesome! Everyone else: *blank stares* Seras: ...Of people on a team. ______

Reader: Bad news—Seras locked herself outta the manor Reader: Good news—we didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith. Reader: Bad news—Integra finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory(TM). I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned it was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute guys/girls/enbies. Reader: Good news—a cute guy/girl/enby saw me do it. Reader: Bad news—it was Alucard, and since they’ve already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, they’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. They know. ______

Alucard: Reader! I can't do this stupid math! Reader: What’s the math problem? Alucard: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don’t multiply. Integra covering Seras' ears, while Reader smacks Alucard upside the head: Not going to lie that was hella smooth. ______

Alucard: We have a problem. Reader: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.