#do shit for the good of the public
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Columbo and the Knight (1984)
put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.
Autism W!
#columbo#knight rider#art#michael knight#kitt#comic#highlight reel#crossover#telebeast#there are two small easter eggs here. can you find them. they were somehow not Entirely lost when i resized these for the public#this is what i mean when i say I Draw And It's Everyone Else's Problem. look at my INCREDIBLY niche crossover comic boy#if the knight rider fandom has like 12 people in it. how many of y'all have seen columbo#this comic is for like 4 people and me and phoenix are already two of them#niche is my specialty lets be real. weird niche obscure shit and ships nobody's paid attention to yet#not to suggest this is ship art. columbo has his wife and michael has his car lmfao#stylizing real people is EXTREMELY hard btw sorry for when they get off model. its partly a 'better imperfect than never finished' situatio#cant tell you how much i redrew some of these panels. weeps#this took me 2 weeks but i think i thumbnailed it all in may and the ideas been rollin around in my head since march#is anybody good at editing. please edit michael and columbo into an image together like its a screenshot. NOT generated. edited.#it would be so cool#ive drawn columbo a lot but i haven't drawn a lot of michaels. i was learning things about his outfit AS I WAS DOING THE DAMN#COLORS ON THIS. all the lines done. it was too late to change anything. i did all the lines and colored page by page#i realized my mistakes on like page 3. 1 and 2 were already done. it was Too Late.#imagine it though. them working a case together. switching between the more serious tone of columbo vs the goofier#action antics of michael and kitt. columbo being so impressed by Modern Technology. there's more i could say but phoenix may write#more of this crossover and i don't want to spoil it :'3#there's opportunity here though i swear. there's gold to be dug.#i like how kitt gets shading but columbo's junker peugeot doesn't. kitt looked wrong without any. columbo's car is matte and dirty#i also applied effects to this to make it look a little film-grainy and VHS like. some CRT TV vibes#the only question left is. did they put knight rider into columbo; or columbo into knight rider 🤔
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People will get upset about poetry being a dying art and then will ignore almost all modern music with complex rhythm and lyricism because of classism and racism.
Like to say poetry isn’t dead they’ll have to admit that the best modern American poets are black people speaking in perfect iambic pentameter and critiquing the government.
Like don’t let your school lie to you poetry is supposed to be a spoken art form.
Some of the most famous poems have instrumental pieces to accompany them but they will literally go out of the way to not study songwriting as poetry.
Because if they do discuss someone like Hozier with W. B. Yeats they would then have to discuss Kendrick Lamar and Robert Frost and that would let you all know that those guys have more in common than they want you to realise and erase the myth that intellectualism is something only for the privileged. 
#poetry#rap music#american politics#most famous poets were poor as shit and were really good at expressing themselves in a way that drew people together#also most famous Irish poets like Pearse Yeats and Wilde were Irish rebel leaders or supporters during the rising and two of them died#because yeah making the spoken word appealing and memorable to the public when critiquing institutions is something they will surpress#which has no bearing on why you are not allowed to study rap in an American education system#thank you for coming to my ted talk#I just really love poetry guys and hozier is like the most Irish poet currently alive but to study him they’d have to admit rap is poetry#a skill they try to gatekeep#because the art of the spoken word is a dangerous weapon#zees 2am thoughts#I have an English A Level and lot of drugs in my system so this will not get any deeper than this but I do need to release my ramblings
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they hated illario because he was a d1 yapper who was bad at assassinating people and was so annoyingly drunk and grief stricken at his cousin’s wake that viago had to drug him to shut him up (so what if he was also the guy who set his cousin up to die/disappear) . and also for working with the venatori and selling out the antivan crows i guess.
#illario as a guy who regretted his power grab but had no choice but to double down after lucanis came back is interesting to me btw#not entirely canon compliant to how the story is set up but yeah#even illario going WHAT . when he finds out lucanis is alive i am choosing to believe is him panicking because#zara did not in fact get him to die. illario thought he would die there. he did not. (what has he done) (shit. he has to do it himself)#and double on that . caterina didnt trust him enough to tell him#once again reminded he is dellamorte the lesser !#and still he knows hes not even a good crow. he couldnt actually kill lucanis. he cant actually bring himself to kill lucanis!#so ofc he spends the next act trying to manipulate him into leaving and for lucanis to believe its his own doing#and only when all of this fails (too soft to even kill his grandma btw) he has a public brawl w lucanis#that ends so badly for him that he is humilated in front of all the remaining talons#hes literally my babygirl#illario dellamorte#dav spoilers#dav#txt#rook: im sorry abt illario :/#viago: dont be. he had many unredeeming qualities from before he was a traitor
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Prompt in Memes 6
Let's make it some in-world memes this time :)
#prompts#memes#meme#cryptid batman#cryptid batfam#cryptid batfamily#battinson#They somehow travel back in time & makes it everyone elses problem#They do not communicate with anyone else besides each other lol#give battinson a robin#but it's time travel and he has all of the robins at once#except Damian but they're going to grab him the moment he exists#Jason: wait does this mean I still have my all-blades#bruce is a good dad#but also so very done with his kids but in a of love and exasperation way#8 year old Dick & 5 year old Jason & 3 year old Tim showing up at the manor: B let us in it cold out here#3 year old Steph kicking down the door: Hope u missed my presence#5 year old Cass crawling in through the window: :) hello family#The kids: Wow Bruce u wear makeup that heavy that's funny lol#But can u imagine battinson with several tiny children following like ducklings#They're perfectly behaved in public but go back to being their lil shit selves when they get home#Gotham: aw the Waynes are like lil angels#Also Gotham: Oh my gosh did you SEE Robin Bite that poor person I hope they don't also turn into an undead cryptid
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And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride
Undertaker + Cloudia P. Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe
#okay but like is it my fault that claudia p and annabel lee rhyme perfectly??? no. i rest my case.#kuroshitsujiedit#black butler#kuroshitsuji#undertaker#public school arc#cloudiataker#claudiataker#claudiatakeredit#undertakeredit#lyrics#poetry#my fault for rewatching the fall of the house of usher and not thinking i would find a way to bring cloudiataker into it#side note: i am very into verna - maybe i just want to fuck death?#i certainly admire the shit out of women who do... 'have you forgotten what i am' to motherfucking DEATH madeleine usher the woman you are#roderick's actor's rendition of the the last stanza/the conversation with annabel in the church never fails to make me cry#that series is so fucking good you should watch it if you havent#long live claudiataker
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Can someone tell Democrats that leftists and progressives with moral objections are not a big enough contingent to swing an election and if they were, the way to get groups to vote for you is to offer them things they want rather than lib-scold them about voting on social media
#Also leftists are not the only non-right wingers who hate Biden. So good luck with that 👍🏾#Like you’re supposed to be sucking up to people it’s an election. Yelling at leftists online is doing nothing and helping no one#Craziest shit is that I’ve seen an actual candidate engage in this kind of behavior before. Like bro the anarchists still aren’t going to#vote for you so now you just look like an asshole in public for no reason 🙈. Don’t know what happened to that guy. Probably lost
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andrew’s definitely gotten in trouble with his pr manager for tweeting things along the lines of:
“no mania inducing medication will compare to the euphoria i will feel the day donald trump drops dead”
#pr manager is like: andrew… this is the last time i’m gonna tell you#andrew: whats the point of democracy if i can’t exercise freedom of speech#pr manager: andrew it’s no longer about your image#at this point we are concerned the fbi is going to show up#andrew: neil has connections. i’m fine#they thought marketing andrew on social media would be good#they were sooooo wrong#because now andrew has a place to share every insane thing he’s ever thought#for instance—a tweet that just says ‘an alien googling: human clothes’#he’s on there advocating for lgbtq+ youth you KNOW HE IS#he’s cursing and mildly threatening members of congress for imposing these disgusting bills#one day he tweeted ‘does mitch mcconnell know he’s dead yet’#when mitch mcconnell stepped down from senate andrew tweeted ‘hopefully next he steps down from life’#unsurprisingly: this endears him to some people and makes others fucking hate him#and he’s such a shit. he does not care either way#he’s kind of just like: pr manager. you gave me a twitter and told me to tweet. i’m just doing what you asked me#they’ve threatened to change his password so many times#they actually did once but andrew reported the account so many times for defamation and fraud that it got suspended#and he made a new account out of pure spite#his pr manager is like: andrew nobody is going to want to sign you because of your public image#and andrew is like: ?? ok. they can lose every game then#(he knows he’s the best goalie)#ok i think that’s enough for now. however i will probably be back#andrew minyard#aftg#tfc#trk#tkm#the foxhole court#all for the game
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eldest daughter behavior
#he just like me fr#can you tell that I used to be an osomatsu kinnie#osomatsu san is like an old wound I got from the war that’s healed but still acts up during dubious employment periods#yes I am currently job hunting why do you ask#digital art#my art#osomatsu matsuno#osomatsu san#mr osomatsu#actually no I don’t think he deserves the Mr title there’s too much respect behind that#why do I feel like his English name would be some shit like craig#I’ve only ever cosplayed once in my life and it was this fucker#I still have the bowlcut wig buried deep in my desk and it whispers to me like the green goblin mask#also I bought a surprisingly really high quality hoodie cosplay it’s very good for cold winter days#but it has a giant pine logo smack dab in the middle so it’s like wearing a sign that says bullied in highschool in public#who says watching osmtsan doesn’t do any good?#I watched two episodes the other day and immediately went on indeed and applied for another job thanks king 👍#hello to like the ten other matsuno fans still on here#I’m literally neeting it up at home right now#my friend says I’m doing better than them cuz I got my degree tho so I’m holding on so hard onto that 👊👊👊
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"Eddie said he's straight! Buck said Eddie was straight! Buck said he's not in love with his best friend! They shut down Buddie in the show it isn't happening ya'll are delusional! Queerbait! Queerbait! Blah blah blah"
I feel like I'm going insane. I'm sure we're all tired of people shouting "media literacy" every five seconds, but like... Yeah, develop some media literacy, please.
I'm saying this as someone who doesn't usually like romance, despite being subjected to it in basically every piece of media. As someone who doesn't generally look for love stories. As someone who loved Buddie but didn't consider any serious possibility of it becoming canon before season 7/8, who refused to believe Buddie was truly happening until I couldn't deny it anymore: this episode is loud.
Please understand how narrative arcs work. How character arcs work. How character development works. How serial broadcast television works. Understand how writing works. Consider context; take the whole episode, the whole season, and the whole series into account instead of treating things like they exist in isolation.
I'm too tired to go through the step-by-step details of the episode to prove why these, "they said it on screen, therefore..." takes are shortsighted and ignorant; plenty of people have done that already.
But that episode, even if we do take it in isolation, is textbook. Do people really take everything characters say at face value? Do people not watch other character's reactions? Listen to what else is being said? Watch what is being shown? Consider the implications? Themes? Narrative devices?
Consider that maybe, just maybe, characters can be unreliable narrators, or believe something to be true only for that belief to change later. These things don't happen in one episode. There's such a thing as set-up, foreshadowing, the starting point of a plot. 911 is a serial drama, therefore it is going to have A) long-form story and character arcs, and B) drama.
Characters are not going to move in straight lines, or talk in therapy speak, or solve every problem in an hour. They are not always going to be right, or self-aware, or truthful, or rational. Direct dialogue does not equate to honest dialogue.
Also, saying, "well in real life, people do this, I do that, their feelings would be this, yadda yadda yadda" means nothing. Your experiences are not universal, and more importantly, this is a work of fiction. Realism is whatever the story says it is; it's going to do whatever creates the most dramatic, interesting, developmentally beneficial, or emotionally satisfying story. Whether you like that story or not is irrelevant to the fact that stories are not going to cater to all your expectations or real-world experiences.
To people pointing to Tim or the actor's interviews as "proof" they're shutting down Buddie: again, please understand how broadcast television works. They are not going to tell us everything that's going to happen before it happens. They are going to play the neutral zone, the "wait and see," the "will they/won't they." They are going to lie. That is television production 101. You can compare what they've said in the past with canon and list all the contradictions, misdirection, and twists you didn't see coming because they didn't spoil it for you. Watch the show. That is the canon.
They're also not catering to fandom--people they already know are devoted to the show, familiar with Buddie, and consistently tuning in. They're introducing the idea of Buddie to the general audience, people who likely haven't considered the possibility before. The GA has to see that Buddie is an option, so the show needs to manifest it as if it's a brand new concept. This episode pulled the pin on that grenade in a very obvious way; the idea that Buck could be in love with Eddie and that Eddie could not be straight has been planted. The next seed will be Eddie's feelings. Now the show needs to water it and let it grow.
One last thing. Been seeing a fair amount of hand-wringing and condescension over people interpreting this episode differently. As if this is some sort of "gotcha" for bad writing, baiting, or people being stupid. Listen, genuine complaints about this show's writing aside, different interpretations or inferences are completely normal. This isn't unique. That is how people interact with stories, through personal biases, experiences, emotions, and expectations. That isn't inherently a bad thing. It's totally fine to have your own views; media is all about interpretation.
However, it is also true that just because you have an interpretation, that doesn't make it true. Not all interpretations are equal in their validity, evidence, or warrants. The show has an intention, it has a story in mind. If you don't see it, sure, that could be a failure of the writing, but it could also very well be a failure of your analysis, especially when the show hasn't finished telling the story. Looking at one thing in isolation and forming your whole conclusion based around that makes for poor critique.
I guess we'll just have to wait and see who's right.
#911#911 abc#911 spoilers#buddie#ramblings#911 discourse#I guess#I usually keep my mouth shut in this fandom but I am exhausted#i am not working through a degree in narrative writing and media literacy to watch people fail this badly at critical analysis#also hate people shouting “queerbait” going “well as a *fandom elder* who survived destiel/sterek/johnlock/etc.” or whatever#bruh I grew up on that shit too please just shut uuuuuup#like be honest those weren't going to happen and it was obvious from watching the shows (not that ships need to be canon anyways)#I know queerbaiting is traumatizing but you have got to stop throwing that word around so casually and before the story is even finished#this is a whole different show with several established queer characters in a different era of television#the fact buddie is a big open topic of media discussion now is also huge--it's being established in the minds of the public#and yeah yeah “they're baiting” but do you not see how in this day and age queerbaiting would effectively be career suicide?#also they aren't relying on shippers to keep their ratings afloat#if they weren't going to do buddie they wouldn't keep leaving the question open-ended it's a catch-22 at this point#i know pessimism is all the rage but i'm begging you to try optimism and good-faith and maybe some positivism
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once again i was fueled with coffee (did not sleep the whole night) but this time i doodled college au to cope bc ofc i did (also did not feel like sleeping wooo)
#self insert#cross!sans#epic!sans#mblue art#cm#m rambles#(that tag is needed bc hoo boy u can tell i did not get sleep and is fueled by caffeine)#(do not be like me!!!!!!!!! do not deprive urself of sleep 💀💀💀)#(get a good 6-7hrs a day if u can. if 4-5hr works better for u then im not forcing u to sleep more 😤😤😤 as long as u rest well 😁👍)#(AND HYDRATE... if ur reading this try to take a sip rn 🥤)#campus au#(college au scenarios will be tagged that heehoo)#not colored just lines bby 😎😎😎#idiots to lovers type shit where they both confide in epic n he's just chillin#waiting for the time when these dummies will finally confess to eachother themselves#(look i think it's rlly funny seeing cross be all cool calm collected in public but when he talks to epic abt his crush)#(he goes insane with a million different flustered/blushing emojis)#( 'they told me good luck on my test and gave me the nicest smile ever how was i gonna live after that' goofy ass. idiot /aff)#( 'DUDE THEY GAVE ME A MOTIVATIONAL NOTE. IN /PINK/ PAPER. ON CHOCOLATE. DOES THIS...... 😳' guys i love silly dorky cross to bits so much)#(man fucking explodes w his simping n epic just goes LMAO but he's v supportive for his bruh 💪😤)#(on the other hand my sona thinks he's sooo cool and awesome and smart and honestly fucking charming HHELLO THE TIMES WHEN HE LAUGHS AND)#(AND SMILES HELLOOO MR HANDSOME I MEAN WHATT)#( 'stars if he likes me back i wouldn't know what to do with myself. fucking EXPLODE? YIPPEE CONFETTI??' lots of flushge )#(going ueueue at big bro epic bc they got a super massive crush on his bestie but)#(but the head is entertaining 'what-if's BUT i think kuya epic knows how to steer the thoughts away from those and smack em w teasing 😎✨)#(ultimately distracting and successfully reassuring them 😎😎😎)#(tsundere mblue no way not in here im down bad astronomically full on simping my guys)#(he might be a dumbass sometimes but he's my dumbass) (ok i'll shut up now fr)#anywayz campus au is the my highschool au but we're all adults and more tired yippeee
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The thing about continuing a fic that has been on hiatus for way too long is that now you have to read through the whole thing yourself like what the fuck is going on
#like yes I do remember the basic plot synopsis of my own shit but like. where the fuck am I at lmao#I don't really even wanna look at the last publication date for it good lord#wip diaries
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ingellvar must have so many strange off-putting little personal habits in their day to day life that they don't even realize come across as weird, especially if they haven't ever dated outside of the watchers much. in rye's specific case I think lucanis has a capacity for such immaculate 'sure my life is already so fucking weird this might as well happen' energy that I believe he'd be able to roll with the punches admirably given the time, but it really would be a situation like

(what was going on there was that rook was placing down some experimental wards, by the way, it's what he does to calm down before bed and if he wakes during the night. what with the necropolis itself being a liminal space of lf sorts on a cosmic scale, watchers take the additional liminal space between wakefulness and dreaming extremely seriously b/c they know there are things drifting through that would just love to get their foot/tentacle/conceptual spores in that particular half-ajar door that should not be allowed inside. or outside, I suppose, depending on your point of view. rook and lucanis are also experimenting with whether solid wards can help any with lucanis' weird post-spite dreams even if they can't do anything for the more mundane ptsd ones. third reason because in my worldstate they still live in the lighthouse after the game: unless gently dissuaded wisps will sometimes drift by while you're asleep and hover over your face curiously as they sense your mind doing stuff in the fade, and no one likes waking up on an eldritch sneeze with a well-meaning yet terrified wisp zooming about the room. important watcher novice 101 lessons.
blessed mental image of rye cross-legged on the floor, barefoot in his PJs with his hair down and no makeup, peaceably tracing out elaborate geometric shapes that somehow make your eyes scared when you look at them* while lucanis sits on the bed and reads out loud to both him and spite and occasionally sneaks some carnal looks at rook's fully unleashed curly hair and bare wrists & throat...... okay I think I've found the thing that will help me through the day thank you for coming on this journey with me)
*what is the paint he's using made out of and why is it such a deeply unsettling colour? don't worry about it! :) patented mostly well-meaning yet also borderline condescending mortalitasi hand wave of 'don't worry your sweet little non-nevarran head about it we both know you don't actually want to know. do not ask questions lest you learn the answers, especially if you're going to be annoying at me and freak out about it. let the things man was not meant to know stay unknown. unknown by you I mean I'm built different'
#*at myself through gritted teeth* good things or feelings are very much not happening right now but they DO exist and they are possible#I need you to take this on faith rn because I sure as fuck don't have any proof but source: just trust me i guess#think about spite wide-eyed listening to lucanis read while lucanis absently strokes rye's hair. I'm not sure if then you'll feel better#but it's worth a shot right. better track record than with anything else#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#rye has only had one relationship with a non-watcher before and he didn't sleep over much in that one case#and also that was shitty anaxas ex-bf who liked having a pet mortalitasi but not to be reminded that said mortalitasi#was actually pretty threateningly powerful and not just an accessory for him. I don't think rye would have done much real#necromancy around him because he was in the 'pls love me love me love me I can be anything you want just don't go' mode#so he has never had to consider what his normal bedtime routine looks like to an outsider before haha#I wrote out a whole extra rookanis thing in the tags here but I'm forcing myself to make it a proper post at some point#because while I do not have the energy to examine it right now I keep writing novels in the tags because proper posts make me nervous#my brain going 'okay you can write the sincere thing. but only if you kind of hide it somewhere so it doesn't count#if I tuck it away sufficiently that means I'm not being annoying#and people won't be mad at me' (*sigh* okay what the fuck is that about. add that to the mountain of things that need unpacking#at some point you're not so tired the very thought of starting makes you nauseous)#what if everyone will think I'm stupid and cringe and pathetically earnest. on the cringe and pathetically earnest site#the only thing more unbearable than saying blorbo things in public is not getting to say blorbo things as they boil up within my skull#and I cannot seem to write fiction right now for neither love nor money so my normal outlet is clogged up#then... the power of the tag rant to make you forget yourself in the glorious rush of getting to say blorbo shit 'unperceived'.#anyway. what do you think spite would pick for them to read. that's a much happier place to rest the mind and I'd like to go there pls lol
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Toei does not like Vegeta part #12849, this is their Vegebul moment.
vs Toriyama's Vegebul moment:
I will continue complaining under the cut (with additional samples)
toei's vegebul moment:
Toriyama's Vegebul moment:
toei's:
toriyama's:
ykwim??
I'm don't even want to talk about how bad they fucked up the Goku Black arc from what I can tell so far so just have this instead
LIKE THEY EVEN CHANGED WHERE VEGETA WAS SITTING??
WHY?
FOR WHO??
ANYWAY it's fine if you like the anime I'm just gently loudly suggesting reading the manga if you're a fan of Vegeta and Bulma separately and/or together
#Toei loves writing him hesitant and Toriyama is like 'no Vegeta will headbutt god for his wife in public he's just not used to PDA yet'#the GB arc is literally. like. Vegeta's Entire Motivation in that plot is Trunks telling him Zamas killed Bulma#and Vegeta wanting to beat that man To Death on Live TV#And then Trunks telling Vegeta how much his mom loved him and missed him and Vegeta being so emotional about it he instigates fusion#And Bulma jumping him when he gets home because Bulma does love and miss him so so much and in the Very Next Arc she's pregnant#anywaY READ THE MANGA IF YOU HAVEN'T IT'S GOOD SHIT IDK WHAT TOEI'S DOING#PLUS you'll get to meet Vegeta's boyfriend Granolah and I think Bulma would approve of it and invite him over for a fun weekend#dbtag#idek what to tag this#media crit#i guess
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nothing matches wired in-ear headphones man. i am getting this music channeled straight into my brain via a physical cable. like god intended
#only helps that they’re the cheapest shit ever and i Mean That#also like. they gen don’t sound that bad. theyre almost as good as my expensive ass anc over ear headphones#i’ve gotten bluetooth earbuds for several times the price with worse audio quality#lmfao#like the only downside of these is they don’t have anc. which i DO value outside home especially on public transport#but when i’m just chillin or doing the dishes or w/e i don’t mind#and actually don’t even Want the anc. i like the Home Sounds! cars going by outside and the wind and if my cat calls for me#z talks
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CW - BIG VENTING:
I'm not going to lie
I'm scared and I'm sad
I had no doubts that even if Kamala won, shit was still going to be bad
but this is infinitely more terrifying
I'm scared for me, my family, my friends, literally everyone that this fucking piece of shit criminal and his actual neo-nazi vp hate and want wiped from this planet.
But I'll tell you right now
More than anything I'm feeling mad
Realistically, its going to take more than just me being angry to actually get things to change
But I'll be damned if I don't do anything in my power to make sure that the people I care about stay alive
And you better fuckin' believe I'm not going to let some moldy piece of cheese out live me
I'm living for JOY and SPITE now
#Sammy8D says#we're feeling a certain way tonight bois#This is probably the only post I'm going to be directly making about this#And if you're that fucker who keeps sending me shit in my inbox#Shut the fuck up#“Oh I'm sorry if you already know and are upset but heres more information about a thing that you already are aware of”#Acting like you're doing a good public service fuck off#Like who the hell do you think you are#I hope every trump supporter lives long enough to face the consequence of their actions and I hope they suffer for it
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the mortifying ordeal of being loved by your friends
#friend of mine texted me 'I love you'while drunk this week#Spent a solid 15 min pondering how to respond#In the end 'oh I love you too' won out#Over 'are you sure you didn't mean to send this to someone else?'#Today I went to the theater with said friend and his fiancée#While in a bar we were bantering as has become normal for us#The fiancée waved the ring at him and jokingly said 'don't forget you're engaged'#To which he replied 'can you only be engaged to one person? Damn'#To be perfectly clear I wouldn't mind being in a qpr with these two#And that's what might be most terrifying of it all#Later the conversation shifted to social anxiety and after I said that I didn't mind public speaking#The fiancée went 'well what are you anxious about THEN'#and I#In my drunken state#Truthfully replied: 'being friends with your fiancé#It feels too good to be true. It feels like a trap'#HELP#no genuinely#This is me begging for advice#I did this once before with my other best friend where I broke my heart with this and fell into a deep depression after losing him#I can't do this again#I need to talk to this guy like.... yesterday#This evening he stepped behind me and rested his chin on my shoulder#(Totally normal. Do that with a lot of my friends)#But I nearly had a heart attack bc his fiancée was standing right next to us#I am a fucking asexual disaster#And too freshly heartbroken for any of this shit#Fabi's foolishness
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