#do not kill me for my i guess weird opinions haha

[jorisjurgen]

World of Twelve dashboard simulator #2

👁️ katarynadance follow

Freaks may say i want to fuck antonio sadisski from the bontarian boufbowl Love Arrow team. I'm freaks. I mean im freaks. I mean im freaks.

🌌 somethingquietplace

I wouldn't go that far, but NGL, I don't know how one might not develop an affinity for him... Very charming man! He might be the second greatest player after Khan.

Then again, my opinion on who the second greatest player is changes all the time, haha.

🌸 sadidaskickshoe follow

Ehh khan's been dead for centuries....! Let it go. I think he's cool, but thinking nobody will ever be better is crazy...

🌌 somethingquietplace

He developed most of the techniques still used to this day, just so you know. Visit a museum perhaps. It might be helpful?

🎃 sacriblo0ody follow

average khan fan showing how much criticism of his favourite misogynyst he can withstand.

🌌 somethingquietplace

And you're an average 16 year old child with Very Important Opinions trying to educate me nicely.

🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow

Seeing somethingquietplace and sadidaskickshoe on the same post is kind of terrifying.

#worlds most toxic crossover? #20 callout posts gang real?

(1,582 notes)

🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow

Guys they both blocked me ASFHFKDKGJSJ

Do i get a boufbowl fandom badge of honor now????? Did i make it in life?????

🦠 gorebludsac follow

I don't think it's a nice way to post, considering one of them is like neurodivergent and a minor, and the other is tumblr user somethingquietplace (diagnosis self explanatory)

🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow

I'm sorry yeah i forgot that they're both diagnosed.

#ngl i feel bad kinda for both of them

(34 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

.

I hate adventuring with other people. Just being there and knowing I'll never be their friend. I want to say something, be in the conversation, but I never know what to say, and everyone already knows each other and

Well even when they don't yet know each other, obviously they'll prefer anyone else over me. They'll give up on trying to talk to me.

It's so weird... I hate everyone. Everyone has stupid interests and tastes. Just braindead things. Romance and fucking and fashion. And all of them have normal lives and normal families and once in a while they ask something about mine and I don't know what to say at all. And I want to be liked. Even if I have zero respect for anyone I want to like me. Is it weird?

I guess I'm just sad because I don't have that innate talent to pretend like I care about other people. Or maybe I wish someone actually liked me besides my family.

#delete later #...I really like this ''forbid others from reblogging a post'' function they added recently #When my dad dies I think I will finally kill myself I guess. #not osu #Honestly I can't tolerate anyone at my work. I hate them all and want them dead. #And I can't tolerate anyone close to my age. #They all insult me. Constantly. You know. #So the only people who like me are my family. #Its neverending. I can't take it anymore. #I think me only liking my family might be a self fulfilling prophecy but i don't care. #or so I think.

(2 notes)

🌸 sadidaskickshoe follow

people who post about their family issues on here are weird.... My brother isn't here but just the idea of him seeing anything on my phone makes me so scared to write anything!! 😵‍💫

#temp

(1 note)

🌌 somethingquietplace

I wish people would refrain from obvious vagueblogging about my deleted posts.

#delete later #not osu

(284 notes)

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

people who stalk other peoples blogs are so weird!! I think it's easier to follow one another. Because this is getting embarrassing for us both XD

🌌 somethingquietplace

Ok.

#Mostly I am following you because you said you liked Khan Karkass. #Even if you don't have good opinions (ones I agree with) on him.

(1243 notes)

🦠 gorebludsac follow

A second mad xelor explosive machine has hit the tumblr boufbowl fandom

#those.two.... are mutuals now. #i canrt stop laughing there are tears rolling down my face #remember when kickshoe told me in explicit detail how she wanted me to kill myself #or how quiet typed out whole 40 paragraphs of threats #and ended that post with ''youre wasting my time away from work'' as if hes not termianlly online too #this is historical for me and nobody else

(46 notes)

🪰 maldemal follow

She throw dice on my tabletop til i eacflipcity

🕳️ eviltreeman follow

Collect my Thirsty Branches

(459 notes)

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

Bruh someone tried to kill the prince again and missed. How the fuck does a fifth assassin in a row fail at killing the prince of brakmar!!!! I can't live in this stupid country anymore

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Even if things suck i dont think killing royals is the answer..... 😰

(109 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

Was in a store recently. The prices were disgusting, and the worst of all, the Ministry of Moral Purity wants to propose a tax for being negative about the government... Are we in Brakmar now? Is this Brakmar we're in?

I have something very taxable to say but shall refrain.

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

Bontarians when something bontarian happens bontarianly in bonta: is this fucking brakmar

unlike you, I have the free speech to wish death on our royalty. I can say freely that I hope the prince of brakmar kills himself.

🌌 somethingquietplace

It's literally so easy to hate you even besides the holier than thou attitude... Your city has lava. Would a good place to live with good people have lava. Would a good place with good people have invented something called "the Brakmarian burial"?

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

You can't be saying that white-blue boy

#WHERE DID A RANDOM BONTARIAN LEARN A 500 YEAR OLD GANG TERM FOR BODY DISPOSAL?? #WHAT???

(24295 notes)

🪄 pantypervert69 follow

CALLOUT POST:

@/xellymelly has been selling re-bought goods from The Mad Xelor. Do NOT buy from her. Not only are they dangerous, they are also wildly past their expiration date. DO NOT USE ANYTHING YOU BOUGHT FROM HER. IT WILL KILL YOU.

🌌 somethingquietplace

If you have items made by The Mad Xelor, Kerubim Crepin from Bonta's Aux Tresors de Kerubim shop has a recycling program for all victims of this scam. He even gives out rewards for all the items you bring in.

I implore you to consider taking the things you bought to him, and making the world a safer place. (And "★bring some magic to your life★")

#not osu #I can personally vouch for this store's quality. It's very well known among some circles around here.

(4838 notes)

🚬 pigpigeazer follow

Everyone always jokes about the bad parts of classes but nobody ever talks about how generous the pandawa are, how honest iops are, how lively ecaflips are, and how empathetic sacriers are

🎃 sacriblo0ody follow

literally im always saying that!

🤖 athefogenesis follow

Except it always comes at the expense of mentioning that their religion makes them ignorant, addicts, or drives them to self harm?? We need to bully people who are hardcore about class tenets harder. You're destroying yourself for some all powerful reality-warping creature that doesnt give a shit about you

🤹 lancerclown420 follow

People like you give us atheist classes such a bad name. Everyone and everything in the world has a purpose, both those who follow a deity, and those who follow a primciple and

Actually they're a sufokian supremacist so nvmmmm

🧙 hupperschlongartor follow

THE NOTES ARE A FREE BLOCKLIST 💀

(637 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

.

#not osu #delete later #the thing is that. I never stopped hating him for ruining my life. #But the amount of hatred i feel ebbs and flows. Does it make sense? #This is stupid. So stupid... Like #oh nooo papycha... you neglected me as a child to the point of incurable mental diseases... #They would be better off if I was dead honestly #i need me and my dad to die. #I need everyone to die actually

(2 notes)

🦞 foggerfish follow

Apparently there's a big thing going on in demigod history community because Goultard (you know, the 4847372882843 or whatever year old son of Iop) undied again and was spotted somewhere around Astrubian border.

👽 cvt3-r41nb0w follow

MY WEDDING IS BACK ON NOBODY WILL HOLD ME BACK. He already married witches i can be the fourth

🗣️ thedarkwitchfromthatbook-is-gay follow

Isn't he gay

😈 osawhip666 follow

isn't he a mass murderer

🌌 somethingquietplace

Finally a reason to kill myself?

#I have to work with demigods a lot so... #Wish me luck in avoiding him like plague? #I had horrible experiences with him in the past #but talking about it would definitely lead someone to finding out who I am so... #I hope he kills himself and it sticks for once.

(447 notes)

🪐 8lunarcoeur8 follow

Heyyy

I wish people would stop rb'ing quiet's boufbowl gifsets considering the fact hes racist, misogynist, a freak, a bonta apologist (goes with the racism), has a fucking Maid, and likes some really weird things.

At least kickshoe has the excuse of being like a teen but this fucking guy is just something else.

🧙 hupperschlongartor follow

whatd he do? 🥺

🪐 8lunarcoeur8 follow

Says weird things about brakmar (x, x, x, x, x, x, x, and mooooore), is a freak (x, x), and a misogynist (x, x, x) (STOP STANNING KHAN KARKASS) also he's weird about huppermages and self described his class as an antihuppermage and even though it was like 200 years ago hes a wholeass immortal man and also is Still a weirdo about ecaflips.

(385 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

RE: the newest cancellation

I don't care about your feelings and I have nothing to apologize for.

#not osu

(1842 notes)

🦴 skellythievin follow

Not me honoring sram by stealing bones from the graveyard 😭

🦴 ougigou-woof-woof follow

LEGENDARY POST

#WHY DO I HAVE THE SAME PFP AS THE BONE STEALING SRAM

(59227 notes)

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Yaaa antonio sadisski won as always!! They should put sadidas like him in the hall of heroes for our country ᕙ⁠ ⁠(⁠°⁠ ⁠~⁠ ⁠°⁠ ⁠~⁠)

👯 mirarynnnw follow

He sucks

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Hi kill yourself :) /gen

#i was banned from using my phone but ill risk it all again to say that nobody will miss you!

(12 notes)

[cainluvr69]

Main Story 2 Chapter 18 - Nova's Testing Ground

1 - A Lonely Pit

Nero: Heath, are you okay…?!

Heathcliff: Yes! How about her?!

Nero: She only passed out. What the hell is this place…

Heathcliff: …Nero, did you notice? We're walking on top of…

Nero: Yeah. On a ton of mana stones. A huge number of wizards turned to stone here.

Nova: That's correct.

Heathcliff & Nero: …!!

Nova: This was my true testing ground, you see. For these.

Nero: Huh?! What's this feeling…?!

Heathcliff: …! What's that…?!

Nero: Heath, move…!

✦✧☾✧✦

Rutile: …It feels like we're seeing other people less and less.

Isaac: … Maybe.

Rutile: I don't think Dr. Figaro would've taken Mitile somewhere like this, but…

Isaac: …

Rutile: Well, I guess I'm a bit miffed. He asked you to walk around with me so that he had a lot of time to talk with Mitile, didn't he?

Isaac: He did. Something like that.

Rutile: Isaac, can I ask you a bit of a strange question?

Isaac: …Sure.

Rutile: Have you ever eaten a mana stone before?

Isaac: …

Rutile: I… I'm sorry. It really was too weird of a question. I didn't mean to make you look so startled…

Isaac: You noticed.

Rutile: Huh?

Isaac: You noticed, but you still came along quietly with me?

Rutile: Umm… I'm very sorry. I don't think I did notice. I'm not sure what it is you're talking about. Could I say a bit more about why I wanted to ask you something like that?

Isaac: … Sure.

Rutile: You see, my younger brother and I don't agree on the subject of eating…or not eating mana stones. So I wanted to hear what you thought as well, Isaac.

Isaac: …Why.

Rutile: Because you're a wizard…

Isaac: … I've eaten mana stones before.

Rutile: I see… Could you tell me more about it? But if you don't want to, I'll of course accept that.

Isaac: It's fine.

Rutile: How… How does it feel?

Isaac: …

Rutile: I… I don't know how to put it into words, but it seems like such a frightening, terrible thing… But Mithra's opinion is the complete opposite. …And that would make me the cold and cruel one… …Ah, am I… Am I overstepping things by talking about this sort of thing? I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable.

Isaac: No… It's fine. You didn't ask something bad.

Rutile: Thank goodness… I'm so relieved to hear that.

Isaac: …Haha. Ask me anything you want. I'll tell you anything.

Rutile: Then, once again… How does it feel?

Isaac: Hmm… It's good. It's all mine… It's nice.

Rutile: By "nice", do you mean… "Oh, you're so kind!" kind of nice, or more…calm and relaxing?

Isaac: There are times when it makes me proud, too. But usually…it's calming.

Rutile: Can you tell me why?

Isaac: Because it feels like I've become what I wanted to…?

Rutile: I see…?

Isaac: But… Once I'm done feeling nice, I start getting frustrated again after a while. Like it's still not enough…

Rutile: …Not enough? What's…

Isaac: …I don't know. I haven't taken enough…?

Rutile: …Taken?

Isaac: Yeah.

Rutile: Why are you taking it?

Isaac: …… Because I don't have anything.

Rutile: …

Isaac: I don't have anything. If I want to feel good, I have to take good things from somewhere else. But, since I'm already empty… Anything that I take ends up turning into nothing. Good things disappear. So I get frustrated and start wanting more again. I'm a hole that can't be filled in. A lonely pit other things fall into. That's why… Tonight, I'm going to use you to fill myself in.

Rutile: …… Use me?

Isaac: That's right.

Rutile: By being together with me?

Isaac: …

Rutile: Like doing things to kill time together? I think that's an…interesting way of putting it. You're lonely, but… Still charming.

Isaac: …

Rutile: Thank you very much for teaching me in your own words what your loneliness means to you. A lonely pit that takes things for its own, only for them to disappear… I don't think I'll be able to forget that.

Isaac: I… I didn't teach you anything. I'm stupid, and…you're a teacher.

Rutile: Oh, don't say that! It's true that I'm a schoolteacher, but everything in this world has taught me something. The people who have experienced things I have not, those who have felt things I have not, animals, nature, everything… All of them have taught me many things. And you are another of them, Isaac. Please, let me talk with you more.

Isaac: …

Lennox: Rutile!

Rutile: Ah… It's Leno. Leno!

Lennox: I'm glad I found you. Mitile and Dr. Figaro are already back at the manor.

Rutile: Is that what happened? Thank goodness.

Lennox: We need to hurry back, too. Let's go as soon as we can.

Rutile: So that we can go to Eastern Country together?

Lennox: Yes. And this is…

Rutile: This is Isaac. I believe he's acquaintanced with Dr. Figaro and Mithra.

Lennox: With Dr. Figaro and Mithra… I'm Lennox. Good to meet you.

Isaac: I'm Isaac.

Rutile: Isaac, thank you so much for searching with me.

Isaac: Did something happen?

Rutile: Just something a little worrying. We need to return home now and start getting ready…

Isaac: I'll help you.

Rutile & Lennox: …

Isaac: I… I have stronger magic than you two. I can help Lord Figaro.

Lennox: But…

Rutile: Are you sure?

Isaac: Of course.

Rutile: Leno…

Lennox: …… (This man has the eyes of someone accustomed to killing other people.) (But he knelt in front of Lord Figaro. He'll probably be obedient to him.) (And if Lord Faust's group encountered Nova, then we'll need every bit of firepower we can get.) Alright. Please come with us, then.

Isaac: Yeah.

Rutile: It's good to be working with you, Isaac!

✦✧☾✧✦

The golden moon above us painted our surroundings with soft light. Saku-chan sat on my shoulders, its eyes seeming oddly fixed on the person in front of me. Rather than it seeming on guard, it was more like it was trying to ignore him, and its attention being grabbed anyways. The young man in front of me had the same face as Murr. But the look on that face couldn't have been more different from the Murr I knew. It was like looking into the eyes of a cat that knew everything there was to know about the galaxy, and he smiled a genuine but clever smile… He was a shard of Murr's soul, brought into human form by the <Great Calamity>… A materialization of a person.

Murr: Good evening, Master Sage.

I was startled the first time I encountered one, but by now I've encountered several shards of Murr's soul. Each shard was different, so it wasn't like I was meeting the same person again and again. I knew that, but it still felt like I was meeting, parting, and meeting again with the same person, over and over and over. I wonder if that's why I felt so calm when I saw him for the first time in a long time tonight. It was like seeing an old friend… Like I'd caught up with a traveler who'd left before me. Murr's soul had shattered to pieces because he got too close to the <Great Calamity>. Which meant that, in a way, he was the person who had come closest to the mystery at the center of this world.

Akira: …I thought I would see you tonight. You were the one who wrote in the research log, weren't you?

Murr nodded, and then he began a walk through the Royal Botanical Gardens. I followed after, a little more slowly. The trees' leaves and flowers danced in the breeze, as though welcoming us.

Murr: Yes, that's correct. I recorded very important variations in the subjects of observation here that the researchers themselves had missed. Discovery, or noticing, or however you'd like to call it, is a funny thing. From the moment a discovery is made, one's perception of the world completely changes. Even though the world itself is still the same, with just a single change of viewpoint, you've traveled to a completely new one. Just like you have, Master Sage.

Murr turned on his heel to face me before smoothly extending a hand towards me. I glanced down, startled, and saw a large tree root creeping over the ground. It was swollen in places, to such a degree that it could almost look like a staircase.

Murr: This way. Please, watch your feet.

I took Murr's hand. For a moment, I got scared that he was going to vanish, leaving only his gloves behind, but… He simply smiled at me, the perfect image of a considerate gentleman, and escorted me down the steps.

2 - His Studies' End

Nocturnal birds hooted softly in the Royal Botanical Gardens. I stepped over the large tree root. White, pink, and violet flowers perfumed the dark night with their lofty, phantasmagoric scents. I caught a whiff of cold steel and stone as well. It was as if I was breathing in the scent of that blue galaxy enshrouding the stars.

Akira: Um…

Murr: What is it?

Akira: Where is everyone?

Murr: Right by you. If they sense any major changes, they'll show up here in a heartbeat.

Akira: Major changes?

Murr: I cast a little hoodwinking charm. They've been deluded by my magic. They're on the hunt with your phantom right now. If they sense any disturbances in the world, they'll realize that the Royal Botanical Gardens they're investigating are a forgery.

Once he'd stepped over the tree root and onto level ground, Murr ever-so-courteously let go of my fingers.

Akira: Where's your physical form… the fragment of Murr's soul? It's a pretty purple-colored shard, right? I've seen them a few times before.

Murr smiled michievously and pointed to a tall tree behind me.

Murr: It's in that rounded tree hollow over there. It used to be elsewhere, but a squirrel moved it. I'd never been in a squirrel's cheek pouches before. I think I'll collect these experiences in a book and publish them someday.

I spontaneously laughed at Murr's jest. Seeing this, Murr narrowed his marble-like eyes and laughed in good cheer. It might've just been presumption on my part, but I sensed amiability from Murr in that moment. His smile was always dispassionate, but just for the briefest instant… A feeling of happiness at being able to make me laugh escaped into a relaxed smile. So I thought.

Murr: Heh heh…

Murr's smile immediately regained its air of pretense. Maybe I'd just mistaken it. I felt a bit awkward. I was filled with a strange, unsettled feeling. Much like the feeling I'd had when I couldn't hold Saku-chan, despite it taking the form of the cats I loved so much.

Akira: W-Why did you enchant everyone?

Murr: I wanted to be alone with you.

Akira: Is there something that would be inconvenient for anyone else to hear…?

Murr: Plenty, naturally. But that bears little relevance to why I'm monopolizing you. This garden is my favorite. Wonderful, isn't it? Approximately 5000 species of plants are grown and maintained here. Do you like plants, Master Sage?

Akira: …Well… I don't know much about them, but looking at them is calming.

Murr: I'm glad to hear it. I wanted to show off the plants here to you. Just like gems and ores, plants are the very world itself. Welcome to the world I loved, Master Sage.

As Murr offered a greeting, the trees swayed behind him. Wind and rain had nurtured these flowers which sprouted from the soil of ages. From that perspective, the plants gathered here were themselves much like wizards. Wizards beloved by the spirits of soil. Just what is a wizard? What is the <Great Calamity>?

Akira: Murr… I have a lot I want to ask you…

Murr: Go ahead, ask away.

This was the chance of a lifetime, I quickly realized. I frantically called up every question I had to mind. But then Murr shrugged his shoulders.

Murr: …Is what I'd like to say, but when my soul shattered, my knowledge seems to have scattered apart as well. My knowledge and what the past Murr knew don't fully overlap. After all, the present me doesn't even know where Murr's laboratories were.

Akira: Murr's laboratories?

Murr: Yes. Murr had hidden laboratories all over the world. Were you aware, Master Sage? Murr once angered a Northern Wizard and consequently had his laboratory destroyed.

Akira: His laboratory was destroyed…!? That's terrible…

I felt bad for Murr, but I didn't wonder the reasons. Murr's personality and speech were rather…pointed. Sharp. Even if he lacked any animosity for the person he was talking to, even if he loved the person he was talking to. Even his longtime friend Shylock met him with scathing sarcasm and almost reproachful questions sometimes. He must have pissed people off on a regular basis. Nevertheless, I still felt bad for him. Because he loved his research.

Murr: How kind of you, Master Sage. However, Murr was the one who started it. He brought it upon himself. Still, losing the research results which he had painstakingly accumulated for so long made Murr more cautious. After that, Murr set up his laboratories where nobody else knew about them, and cast sealing magic on them just to be extra safe. He also split them up by subject or date and scattered them across the map. That way, he wouldn't lose all his research data at once.

Akira: Split up so he wouldn't lose them all at once…

Murr: Yes.

Akira: Just like you.

Murr blinked in surprise. He glanced at me as if to ask what I meant by that. The elation of stumping the famed greatest philosopher of the era and the pressure of finding my next words to say made me strangely electrified, and I could hardly breathe.

Akira: Uh… Er, well… because your soul was broken apart and scattered too. All the fragments of Murr I've met so far have felt somewhat distinct from each other. So I thought this was a similar case.

Murr placed his finger to his lips and lowered his gaze as if lost in thought.

Murr: I see… An interesting thought.

Akira: (He complimented me. That makes me a little happy.)

I felt more positive. Murr continued to ruminate, staying completely still. The night breeze blew through the trees. I considered just waiting like this, but instead spoke cautiously.

Akira: Um…

Murr: My apologies. We were in the middle of a conversation, weren't we.

Akira: Same here, sorry. Can I speak to you?

Murr: Go ahead, Master Sage.

Akira: What kind of things were in Murr's laboratories? If we found them, would we learn the mystery behind why the <Great Calamity> got stronger or how to heal damage from the Calamity?

Murr: By "damage from the Calamity," you mean bizarre phenomena like the fragments of my soul taking physical form.

Akira: Yes. It's a lot of trouble for everyone, so I was wondering if there's a way to cure it…

Murr: "The mystery behind the <Great Calamity> is hidden within Murr's laboratories." There's a very high likelihood of that, but it's accompanied by three dangers at least.

Akira: Three dangers?

Murr: The first: I don't believe Murr would establish his laboratories in any place that was easy to approach. It would be dangerous traversing there. The second: It's likely that the seals on the laboratories are equipped with offensive or self-destruct spells. If you try to force it open, either the person who undoes the seal or the sealed contents themselves will be destroyed. The third: This is the most grievous. Not all that sleeps within Murr's laboratories is benign.

Akira: What do you mean by that?

Murr: Murr held curiosity for a great many things. When he was researching one matter, he'd occasionally come across a new matter of interest. One quest of knowledge led to another quest… …and sometimes resulted in exceptionally hazardous creations.

I felt a shiver of apprehension. The Magical Technology which Murr had invented had already turned the world on its head. Yet there were still other perils to beware of…

Murr: Then there were things that he created, then grew tired of, forgot about, and abandoned.

I felt like I was at my wit's end. Even if we did locate and unseal Murr's laboratories, there was no telling what would pop out of them. It was like a Pandora's Box.

Akira: So this hazardous research that Murr abandoned… do you have any idea as to what the really dangerous stuff was?

Murr: Yes.

Akira: So you do…

Murr: There was one project he stopped partway through because it was exceedingly ethically unsound and could've potentially upset the whole world balance. He didn't even tell Shylock about it. It was exactly the kind of research topic he'd find abhorrent.

This preface alone made me pale in fright. It was horrifying just to hear about.

Akira: …So what exactly was it…?

Inside the garden soaked in moonlight, he told me without the hint of a smile.

Murr: Artificial Wizards. Wizards synthesized by Murr Hart.

3 - Demon in the Underground Waterway

Shino: …What is that thing?!

It was uncanny like nothing I'd ever seen before. It wasn't a human nor wizard nor ghost, nor anything else that existed in this world.

Faust: (Is that a wizard?! A wizard's focus?! I've never felt this kind of presence before!)

It hung in there in the darkness like a spirit of the dead. It looked like a distorted version of a human skeleton in constant, twitching motion. What could have been ribs were warped out of shape. What Nero had said suddenly came to mind. Right now, he was unconscious and laid over the top of my broom, his shallow breaths the only proof that he hadn't already died yet. …The light comes when the ribs open. Right after that, at that thing's center… A blue light had shone out from inside the riblike parts of that thing.

Faust: Shino, run…!

Sparks of light, far colder and far more radiant than that of my mirror… Spilled out from inside of it. Within its twisted ribs, a glimmer of light pulsed like a heart, growing bigger and bigger, until… A thin bundle of light shot out, a line of pale blue lightning.

Faust: <Salliuqnart Mullcredo>

Shino: <Matzah Sadipus>!

We said our spells at almost the same moment, avoiding the pale lightning while protecting our unconscious companion. But the lightning was faster than we could've ever anticipated, and it was able to sustain itself for even longer. It sliced through the waterway's stone wall with all the effort it took to cut through paper, chasing after Shino and the girl he was protecting.

Faust: Shino…!

Shino: …!

The light tore through Shino's fluttering cape. At the same moment, a roar reverberated through the cave.

Faust: …!

The light that was trying to shred Shino to ribbons suddenly changed directions, tracing up into the ceiling before flickering out. I swallowed down my anxious breaths and whirled around. When I did, I saw something leap out towards the demon that had been hiding in this underground waterway.

It was an elegant black panther. Its striking blue eyes flashed as it dug into the demon's back.

Shino: Heath…!

That was what Shino called the panther. The waterway demon held up one twisted, clawed hand, and it made no noise to cue it slamming that same hand down. The panther hit the wall hard, but it was back on its feet in moments, kicking off the water towards the demon. It knew no fear.

Shino: Heath…!

Faust: Shino! Grab Heath with your magic! You need to get going ahead of me!

Shino: What about you?!

Faust: I'm going to buy you as much time as I can by blocking its path. Can I leave Nero to you, too?!

Shino: Got it. …Heath?!

Even during those few moments we were talking, the panther kept leaping at the demon no matter how many times it was knocked away. I didn't know why. But I was smiling despite myself.

Faust: You've got quite the brave master.

Shino: …gh…

Shino's breath was shaky, his lips pressed in a thin line. He nodded slightly, trying to hide his face. He gripped his scythe, and when he lifted his head, he was the same Shino he always was.

Shino: Heath, you're coming with me. <Matzah Sadipus>!

Shino recited his spell, and an unseen hand picked the panther up into the air. But the panther resisted violently. It tore through Shino's magic, jumping back down to the waterway floor. And then, the same as it had been, it ran through the waterway and leapt at the demon.

Shino: You're so stubborn…! Well, I knew that, but…!!

This time, Shino's magic bound Heath as tightly as he could. But the proud panther was furious--it needed to make sure its prey was brought down by its own hand. So I held up my mirror, cutting between the waterway demon and the panther.

Faust: I'm taking over for you.

The demon had started gathering light in its chest again.

Faust: Hurry, Shino! <Salliuqnart Mullcredo>!

Shino: Please, Heath…! …gh, Heath…!

I wondered if Shino's voice would reach him. But, suddenly, the panther stopped fighting against him. It wasn't like it had been forced into it by magic. Instead, it turned and ran to Shino's side, accepting that they were going to go together now.

Shino: Let's go!

I brought my mirror back where it belonged, listening to their retreating footsteps. If I took a direct hit from those glimmers of light, it would be fatal. I readied myself, holding the demon's reflection in my mirror.

Faust: (There's no way to beat this thing and protect Shino and the others at the same time.) (For now, I need to stop its movements, find the spacial distortion, and escape.) (I need to be able to focus to find the distortion. And if I don't have enough time…)

I closed my eyes and recited my spell.

Faust: <Salliuqnart Mullcredo>

✦✧☾✧✦

??? Someone help! Please…!

Bradley: In here. Let's go.

Mithra: On my way.

✦✧☾✧✦

Bradley: …Lessee… Is this where the screams were coming from…?

Painting Snow: So it would seem. If nothing else, we have certainly found a creepy atmosphere for ourselves…

Painting White: It's quite a mess in here… But it seems to be a rather large mansion…

Bradley: Instead of a mansion… Ain't this more of a theater?

Painting White: A theater… Yes, certainly.

Painting Snow: What's this, what's this? …something something playhouse… It's written right here that it's a playhouse.

Mithra: What is that? Ah… Someone's head is falling down.

Painting Snow & White: Huh?!

Mithra: …Oh, I was wrong. It was just a doll's head.

Painting Snow & White: You scared us…

Bradley: And this is the body. It's holdin' a welcome sign.

Mithra: It certainly welcomed us with its freshly severed head.

Painting Snow: My, how frightening…

Painting White: My, how ominous…

Bradley: Don't worry. There's nothin' scarier than you guys here.

Painting Snow: That's not true!

Painting White: We're adorable!

Bradley: …!

Painting Snow and White: Kyaa!

Mithra: The sound came from over there. Let's go.

Bradley: Yeah. …Hm? That's further into the first floor… I think someone's gettin' chased.

4 - Another Threat

Sylves: …kh, haah, haah…! What was that?! I followed Dorothy's tracks all the way to this rotten theater and this is what I get… Eek…! Wh… Who are you?! Are you a wizard? I--I'm a wizard too, so… No… Uwaaaah…!

Bradley: <Adnopotensum>

Painting Snow: Mithra! Take it down!

Mithra: I know that. You don't have to say anything.

Painting White: Bradley, attend to her!

Sylves: ….gh…sniffle…

Bradley: Hey, you okay?!

Sylves: …gh, yes… Sniff… Who are you…?

Bradley: The name's Bradley Bain. You?

Sylves: …ah…I'm Sylves…

Bradley: Tonight's a real disaster, ain't it, Sylves?

Sylves: But thanks to your bullet, I'm not dead… …If you hadn't hit it, I'd be stone by now. …sniff… …Thank you, Bradley…

Bradley: Don't be too quick on that gratitude, girl. That wound might not be fatal, but it's still pretty bad. Once we finish up with that guy, we'll take you somewhere you can get proper medical attention. Do you know what it is? Is it someone's focus?

Sylves: …I don't know… It's like automata… It's like some kind of doll.

Bradley: …A doll…

Sylves: …kh, sniffle… Y…you people should run too… That thing is too much…

Bradley: Haha. Don't you worry your pretty little head. No matter how beefy a doll it might be, if it's Mithra of the North's prey, then…

Mithra: …gh…

Painting Snow: Mithra!

Painting White: Mithra dear!

Bradley: ……

Mithra: …gh, cough…

Bradley: You're kidding me…

✦✧☾✧✦

I kept my impatience in check and fixed my posture, aiming my rifle again. Right before my eyes was the Northern wizard Mithra, grabbing one of his shoulders and clearly just as shocked as I was. Crimson blood oozed from between his long fingers. It wasn't a human or a wizard that had injured him. It was that thing floating in the air, that giant doll. Its head was twice the size of Mithra's, and its huge, clawed hands were easily big enough to catch him just by wrapping one of them around his chest. That said, how big it was didn't mean a damn thing to us. We've all already faced whole mountains of massive magical lifeforms. And yet Mithra, who had slaughtered those mountains of magical beasts so easily, had been injured. The reality of what I was seeing chilled me to the bone. The twin geezers were thinkin' the same thing as me. I could see them in their picture frame, eyes wide, breath caught in their throats.

Mithra: ……

As for the Mithra in question, he was staring at the blood on the palm of the hand he'd been holding over his injury. He blinked a couple times, as if trying to be sure he was actually bleedin'. And then he casually brushed off one of his shoulders, like it wasn't that big of a deal to him.

Mithra: Ah… It seems I got a bit dirty.

The bloodstain had vanished by the next time I blinked. Like he didn't want to acknowledge what it meant that he'd been injured. Normally I was the kind of guy who'd be willing to accept that kind of gesture, the Northern pride of it all, but I was so worked up right now I forgot to be nice about this kind of thing.

Bradley: No, you just got hit. Are you not taking this seriously? Are you spacin' out and not paying attention?

Mithra: Of course I am.

A muscle in Mithra's forehead twitched, annoyed. The crystal skull that was his magical focus floated in the air just above his palm.

Mithra: Please do not interfere. It will be over in five counts.

The twins and I all nodded. We were takin' this real seriously. Mithra faced that stupid big doll, and the three of us were gonna be watchin' his back.

Mithra: <Arthim>

As he chanted his spell, Mithra made a gallant flourish with one hand. Mithra's crystal skull moved in perfect time with him. It stopped over Mithra's head, not quite centered, and then opened its big ol' jaw. Pale sparks gathered inside its mouth, flaring up into cold, cold flames. The stupid big doll's ribs opened wide, and blue flickers of light started to gather in its chest just the same way. Mithra was faster than it, though. Overpoweringly cold flames rolled out of the skull's mouth. Rather than callin' them flames, maybe I should be saying it was more like a terrible blizzard. If you took this point blank, you wouldn't even leave ashes behind. But before those pale flames could connect, the doll leapt away with all the grace of a trained dancer. The blue light had filled up its ribcage, pressing against its bones as if it were about to burst, and it still was able to jump over Mithra's head like it was nothing. It had taken Mithra's back in a single, perfect movement. My body reacted before my head could--my finger was already on my rifle's trigger.

Mithra: I believe I told you not to interfere.

Mithra yelled that at me and I was gonna ask where the hell he was looking, but then he turned and kicked with one of his long legs. From the spot where he kicked all the way to that stupid huge asshole of a doll got frozen. The doll's attention was pulled away from what was going on in its chest. The sparks of light that were overflowing from its ribs pierced through the theater roof instead of any of us. It carved a huge crevice out of the ceiling, and rubble rained down on us.

Painting Snow & White: Cough! Cough!

Mithra thrust his hand into the doll's hood, where its head should have been, and he seemed puzzled by the fact that there wasn't actually anything in there.

Mithra: What's wrong with this thing? There's no inner body. …!

The doll's massive claws grabbed Mithra by the face. His green eyes, usually passive and calm, narrowed in shock. It's been a damn long time since the last time I saw Mithra's face twist in pain. This time I aimed my gun, carefully lining up the sights, and put my finger to the trigger.

Mithra: …tsk, Bradley!

Bradley: Sorry, brother. You hit five ages ago. I'm stepping in as backup!

But the next moment, I felt something dangerous behind me. The stage beneath my feet started to rumble. Half a second later, a pale streak of light cut through the place where I'd been standing. But I was down on the ground, my rifle at the ready--still, my eyes widened when I saw what was there. There was another one of those stupid huge dolls. I grinned despite myself. I was feelin' downright festive with all the murderous intent floatin' through the air--not least from myself. I stood up, not taking my eyes off them.

Bradley: Things are really gettin' fun now, ain't they…

I felt Mithra's presence at my back. He must've gotten away from the claws while I was distracted. We faced our respective dolls, back to back.

Mithra: I wasn't able to kill it in five counts, but… I'll still kill it faster than you.

Bradley: Oh, sure. Wanna bet on it?

It'd been a long time since either of us had prey that could put up a fight. My whole body felt electrified--I was tense, sure, but I was feelin' absolutely exhilarated, too. I didn't know what was goin' on, but I could feel my blood heatin' up as I stared down this unknown threat. We kicked off from the stage at the same time.

✦✧☾✧✦

Mitile: It's Rutile! They're back!

Figaro: …I'm feeling more than just Rutile and Leno. Is that…

Rutile: We're home! I'm so sorry, Mitile. We must've passed you.

Mitile: Welcome home, Rutile! I, um…

Rutile: I know. Don't worry about it. Let's talk things through another time, alright? Have you started preparing for our departure?

Mitile: Yes! But please check things over just in case.

Rutile: Alright. To our rooms we go!

Figaro: …Looks like everything's been all patched up between them, Leno.

Lennox: Looks like.

Figaro: And you brought a guest, didn't you.

Lennox: He said he knows you. He also said he wanted to lend a hand.

Isaac: Lord Figaro…

Figaro: ……

Isaac: Dr. Figaro. Figaro.

Figaro: Welcome, Isaac. Could you sit here for a moment?

Isaac: Here?

Figaro: Yes. Just like that. I'll go make some tea. Leno, could you help me out?

Lennox: …Okay.

5 - A Sincere Heart

Figaro: Why did you bring him to the manor? You should know how strong Isaac's magic is.

Lennox: I wasn't sure if I should at first, but he's an acquaintance of yours.

Figaro: Shouldn't you know better than to think that any of my acquaintances aren't going to be dangerous? I would've thought a former soldier would be more wary.

Lennox: …

Figaro: You're letting the situation in the East cloud your judgment. That's not like you. Pull yourself together. Isaac is a very dangerous wizard.

Lennox: If he's so dangerous, then why are you treating him like a friend?

Figaro: Because he's dangerous. I do the same thing with Oz.

Lennox: Lord Oz is the same as Isaac? Is that really what you think of them?

Figaro: Leno.

Lennox: That's not true. That's why you're confused right now. You're getting confused by your own words…

Figaro: What are you talking about? In any case, we need to get rid of Isaac…

Lennox: He said he wanted to be of use to you. He wants to be with you. Please, let him. If you don't have any intention of listening to him, then there's not a shred of compassion still in your heart!

Figaro: Le…

Lennox: You're always like this! You acted like you were his teacher, and then you abandoned him! You always decide that you're all alone, and decide to cut people off without caring about how they feel about it. And that doesn't do anything other than hurt them and yourself…

Figaro: I want to save Isaac! And I felt the same way about Faust, too! But…

Isaac: Lord Figaro.

Figaro & Lennox: ……

Isaac: Are you mad at each other because of me?

Figaro: No, this is just…

Lennox: It started that way, but it was more of a long-standing difference of opinion blowing up…

Figaro: Lennox.

Lennox: Yes. I will be quiet.

Isaac: I'm sorry. I stepped in without permission.

Figaro: It's fine… Don't worry about it.

Isaac: I can help you. It would make me happy to help you.

Figaro: Thank you… But why? Why would you want to help someone like me?

Isaac: Because you praised me. You've always been the only person who ever smiled and told me I did good when I did something. I wanted to always stay with you, but eventually, even I could tell you thought I wasn't someone you wanted to be with. And then I started thinking I didn't want to be with you either, so I got angry and lost my patience with you… But the truth is that I want to help you. I want to make you happy.

Figaro: …I see… Thank you, Isaac. I've never thought I didn't want to be with you. I know that probably sounds like a lie, but it's true. But I just couldn't handle what was going on… And I became so disappointed in myself that I became a cruel creature, didn't I. Lennox. I need to apologize to you, too. I said too much.

Lennox: I should apologize, too.

Figaro: … I thought that we should wait until dawn before heading to Eastern Country, but… If we're going to be waiting around in this kind of mood, I'd rather head out now and let you yell at me later.

Lennox: I agree.

Isaac: What should I do?

Figaro: …… Come with us.

Isaac: Understood.

✦✧☾✧✦

To be honest, I was still a bit unsure. Any wizard from any country would want to go home and rest before going out to do their duty. I was pretty sure he was only going to get mad at us for rushing over the instant we got a message from his familiar. He'd just feel sorry for troubling us and get all down on himself about it. He'd just resent me for treating him like he can't handle himself. Still, Isaac's words had resonated somewhere in my heart. "Because you praised me." How blunt. Not a trace of ulterior motive or dishonesty. But I think it's fine that he said what was in his heart the way it existed in his heart. Lennox is worried. And Mitile gets along well with the Eastern wizards… No, I need to say it properly. I'm worried. I want to have any excuses prepared for when he says "You're lying" or "I don't believe you" or "Why are you only saying that now?" and condemns me for it all. Maybe I should just be upfront about it and prepare myself for when he lashes out. I don't have much time left, after all. I don't want to make any more unpleasant memories. I don't want to be clinging to my regrets when my time's finally up. But saying I don't want to make any more unpleasant memories is, well… I think he'll just avoid me even if I try to make happier ones. Even though my hands are still warm.

Figaro: Well then… Mitile, Rutile, you're sure about coming with us?

Rutile: Yes! I'm sure there's something we can do to help.

Lennox: It's already midnight. Are you doing okay?

Mitile: I'm just fine!

Isaac: I'm also fine.

Mitile: It's, um, good to work with you, Isaac.

Isaac: Same to you.

Figaro: Got it. Now then, let's be off.

✦✧☾✧✦

And thus, we Southern wizards went to Eastern Country, accompanied by Isaac. Mitile wasn't used to staying up this late, much less going out and doing things, but he was obviously doing his best. For the most part, we stayed silent as we ascended the tower to the elevator, but sometimes Isaac and Rutile would talk to each other. Isaac had a thing for Rutile, just like I thought he would. Vague worries twisted and curled in my chest. Worry. What is worry, anyway? Faust, Isaac, even Mitile embraced their worries. Maybe, if I'd been able to believe in them, I'd be able to live without all of these worries of mine. Like the man who wandered for four hundred years, believing that they'd meet again one day.

✦✧☾✧✦

Today, I talked with Mitile about how cleverness is its own kind of strength. I've wanted to take it back ever since. After all, wouldn't that mean that foolishness is its own kind of strength as well? Maybe if I'd kept foolishly, optimistically believing in a radiant future, I wouldn't have all these worries of mine. The day I took Faust as my disciple was the day a beautiful salvation began. But as soon as that salvation had begun, all I could think about was how Oz had treated me. It was a worthless sort of curse. He got tired of me and threw me away. As soon as he changed his mind, he gave up. He hadn't cared as much about me as I cared about him.

Figaro: (Well, since I'm thinking about it, maybe I should've gotten drunk on being an idiot, without worrying about these kinds of things…)

Lennox: Dr. Figaro.

Lennox started talking to me out of nowhere in a low voice.

Figaro: Hm?

Lennox: Please don't look so upset. The children will worry.

Figaro: Ahh, sorry. Was I really looking that upset?

Lennox: Yes. Was it my fault?

"Was it my fault," he asks. I looked up at him, impressed. Really, this man is nothing but blessed.

Figaro: What are you thinking about?

Lennox: Huh…? Are you really asking that right now…?

Lennox was obviously confused. On closer inspection, his movements also failed to belie a bit of impatience. He was so worried about Faust he couldn't keep himself as calm as he usually was. So the question hit him pretty well.

Lennox: More importantly, we should review our plans before we arrive at the City of Rain. It has strict rules, doesn't it? Even if we're coming in the middle of the night, we should make sure we don't have any contraband…

Figaro: If that's what you've got in your head right now, it'll be fine. If it comes to it, we'll just say we have a permit.

Mitile: Dr. Figaro…

Figaro: What's up, Mitile?

Mitile: If we run into any strong enemies like the wizard Nova, I should play the flute Mithra gave me, right? Since he'll be able to handle any enemy no matter how strong they are.

This was trust. Mitile trusts Mithra. Relies on him. I embraced Mitile's shoulders and smiled.

Figaro: Yeah, that's right.

Mitile smiled at me, looking relieved. Rutile, on the other hand, was deep in thought. Isaac was staring at me.

Rutile: Ah… We've arrived in Eastern Country.

✦✧☾✧✦

We flew through the starry sky to the City of Rain on our brooms. Given that it was the middle of the night, there were hardly any lights on the surface, so all we had to rely on were the stars above. I wondered if Faust and the other Eastern wizards were safe.

6 - An Unwilling Last Resort

Faust: <Salliuqnart Mullcredo>

The atmosphere around my mirror focus trembled. The air tensed up, sending ripples through the underground sewer. Centered around the mirror, a faintly glowing magic circle arose. A moment later, the magic circle beamed as bright as the sun. The intense, relentless white light illuminated the demons in the waterway. Where light shines strong, deeper and darker are the shadows cast. The shadows clung to the water's surface as if spellbound. The shadows were stitched in place and became fetters. This was a high-level magic Figaro once taught me. The waterway demons' own shadows became their restraints. Their enormous bodies made a rasping noise.

Faust: (The constraints won't last long.) (The spell calls for longer exposure to the mirror focus's light. It's weakened if the mirror's position is changed.) (But since I don't know what's up ahead, I can't afford to step away from my mirror.)

I drew the mirror focus out of the center of the glowing magic circle back into my hands. Then I ran through the waterway. The magic circle, stripped of the mirror focus, gradually waned, and the shadows which bound the demons slowly faded. The waterway system was complex, with multiple corners and winding paths intersecting. As I ran, I shut my eyelids. Tuning out my breathing and the sound of water, I fervently probed for other presences. To find wonders that the eye cannot see, you have to let go of your senses of sight, hearing, and touch and become like a wandering soul yourself. At some point, I left the narrow waterway behind.

Faust: (This area's been sequestered. There must be a distortion somewhere. I have to find it and get out…)

Were the enemies behind me moving yet? Was Shino's group okay? Brushing aside the many concerns that came into my mind unbidden, I focused on this space. Just then, I felt a slight response.

Faust: …There it is!

I opened my eyes abruptly. As soon as I did, my shut-off senses suddenly returned. There was a clamorous sound echoing through the sewers. Not the sound of water or air.

Faust: (What is this sound?) (Human voices… multiple human voices.)

There were multiple humans… no, wizards, in this sewer. The presences were close to those of Shino's group. Were they enemies or allies? Were Shino and the others all right? My heart pounded fast. As the presences came closer, I could make out the voices.

Curly-haired woman: …help…

Slender youth: Please, help her at least…

Shino: I know. Where's the exit!?

Short gentleman: There is none! We can't get out! He's been chasing us this whole time…

Skinny old man: It's a hunt… He's hunting us. It's not human or wizard! It's hunting us down for mana stones!

Faust: Shino!

Shino: Faust!

After turning a good many corners, I met back up with Shino's group. They weren't the only ones there. There was a group of four wizards, male and female. All of them had injuries.

Faust: They're…

Shino: …Western Wizards. They say they were kidnapped and brought here.

…said Shino, using both arms to clamp shut the mouth of a black beast trying to bite something. A black beast… Heath hadn't calmed down. Fear and anxiety had turned him aggressive. There were wounds all along Heath's body as well. There were traces of Shino having applied first aid as best he could, but the medicinal herbs had peeled off. All the color had drained from Nero's face. The girl on Shino's broom was faintly regaining consciousness. Of the Western Wizards, the red-haired woman was the worst-off. Her breathing was ragged.

Curly-haired woman: …Help… I'll do anything… I don't want to die here…

The woman's voice was frail.

Faust: It's okay. I'm going to examine your injury.

Deep gashes which looked like they were made by claws ran across the woman's shoulder. She was bleeding from her thighs as well. The wounds were severe, but they'd been treated as best as the situation allowed.

Shino: This old man treated her. He can't use curative magic, but he does have medical knowledge.

Skinny old man: She came here three days ago. I've been here for ten days. No amount of first aid can save her life… This is an infernal maze… there's no exit.

Faust: But there is.

Skinny old man: There is!?

Shino: You found one!?

Faust: Up ahead, to the north. It could be a deception, but I found a distortion in space. Let's escape through there. If we don't hurry, he'll… …!

Short gentleman: It's him…!

Curly-haired woman: …Please no…

Slender youth: Shh… Quiet. He'll kill us if he spots us…!

Expressions stiff from fear, the wizards huddled together in the dark. Both Nero and the woman had no time to lose. I wiped the sweat off my forehead and exhaled.

Faust: Shino.

Shino: …

Faust: Take them and go ahead. I'll hold him off.

Shino: …No.

Faust: Don't rebel. Take my mirror. It should lead you to the distortion in space. When you find it…

Shino: No! You must be suicidal!

Faust: I won't die. My name is Faust Lavinia. And like you said, I'm a veteran at "leave-me-and-go".

Shino: …Faust…

Shino's eyes, red like a wistful sunset, quivered.

Skinny old man: …My word… Is he some famed general…?

Faust: That was a long time ago. …No, I'm lying. I never got promoted that high.

I took my curse tools off my neck and hung it over Shino's. I hugged his shoulder and gave a smile.

Faust: This one's different. He'll be a general one day.

Skinny old man: Ohh…

Curly-haired woman: …Thank heavens…

Shino's eyes as he looked up at me were moist with tears. Shino stifled his voice and sucked in a shaky breath. Gently, he shook his head from side to side.

Shino: …No, I can't do it…

Faust: You're the only one who can. Do you remember? You're a man who will become a hero. I told you that.

Shino: …nr…

Shino covered his mouth with the back of his hand. Suppressing his sobs, he clung to Heath's neck as he growled.

Faust: Keep your head up. Listen, Shino. Everyone's anxious. If you're overly scared, it'll just invite excess chaos. "Don't lose me." "Stick by me." Shout out and lead them.

Shino: …O-Okay…

Faust: There's a good kid. You'll give them courage and presence of mind. They're in your hands.

Shino nodded without saying another word. I stroked Heath's back and set my cheek against his.

Faust: Take care of Shino and Nero, Heath.

His savage blue eyes seemed to turn tranquil for a moment. I took a deep breath and steeled my resolve. I glimpsed at Nero's face, his eyelids still shut.

Faust: (You have to stay alive.) (Take care of these kids, Nero.) Shino. Take my magical focus.

Shino: …Your mirror…? No, I can't take that.

Faust: When you find the distortion, use my mirror focus as an intermediary to escape this space.

Shino: Absolutely not! How are you going to fight!?

Faust: I have a secret weapon.

Shino: A secret weapon!? Really?

Curly-haired woman: …'s here…!

Faust: Hurry. There's no time.

Shino scowled at me with moist eyes. Biting his lip in frustration, he took the mirror.

Shino: …Please, be safe. Don't die…

I lowered my eyebrows and smiled. I'd never thought Shino so dear before. I should've given him so many more kind words. The substitution magic I put on him was still in effect. It was far removed, but in the worst-case scenario, it would protect Shino with me as the replacement.

Faust: Of course.

Shino wiped his tears and fixed his gaze straight down the sewer system. As if forging a path for the future.

Shino: …Let's go! Everybody, stick by me! Don't lose me now! Let's move…!

Short gentleman: Ooh…!

Skinny old man: All right, let's go! Everyone together…!

Curly-haired woman: …Yes…

The footfalls of Shino's group grew distant. Conversely, the presences of the sewer ghosts grew closer. Having handed over my mirror focus, my hands were empty. I lowered the brim of my hat.

Faust: (Sorry, Shino. If I were clever enough to have a secret weapon, I wouldn't have been burned at the stake.) (I'll keep them occupied here somehow with whatever options I've got.) Have at me.

7 - Before Reaching Him

Isaac: …Where is this?

Figaro: The City of Rain.

Isaac: Rain…? But it's not raining.

Figaro: There's a legend about it having called rain clouds to it during a drought. We shouldn't talk any more than this now.

Isaac: Wh… ……

Figaro: If you have to talk, do it quietly. Noise travels better at night. Leno, where's the ex-guild hall?

Lennox: This way.

✦✧☾✧✦

There was nothing in the City of Rain this time of night save the sound of the wind. Lennox led us through town until we arrived at the inn that still held remnants of the old guild. I could feel the bad vibes even from here. Faust's presence was completely gone.

Figaro: …

Lennox: Lord Figaro…

Mitile: Is something wrong? We need to go inside and try to find the Eastern wizards…

Figaro: No…

I glanced back so we could talk about what was going on, and saw the worry on everyone's faces. I needed to give them a bit of a warning before we went any further.

Figaro: Don't make any loud noises even if you get startled. Understood?

Rutile and Mitile nodded, like I expected them to. With as gentle an expression as I could possibly make, I started to explain the terrible state of things.

Figaro: I can't feel the presence of any of the Eastern wizards. That said, I can feel that something has gone wrong in there. It's a good thing we didn't wait until morning. If too much time had passed, I wouldn't have been able to notice the spacial distortion.

I was surprised to hear my voice shaking a bit. It seemed I was a bit shaken by this discovery. I glanced at Isaac and for some reason, gently grabbed my wrist. If so much as my fingers started shaking, he would look down on me. And if he were to look down on me, he would attack me.

Figaro: That there's a spacial distortion means that there's an incredibly high likelihood that there was a wizard capable of spacial magic here. Magic that can mess with space is very advanced. I'm pretty sure no one but Oz and Mithra can use it back at the manor. Nova was almost certainly in this building.

Lennox: Nova…?! The wizard that even Mithra couldn't stand up to…

Rutile: Did he abduct Heath and the others and take them somewhere else?!

Figaro: I'm not sure. It's possible…

It's possible Faust and the others were already dead. My mind was already processing it that way, as if there was nothing to be done about it. At the same time, I felt my fingers starting to chill. My field of vision started to dim, and it had nothing to do with the dark of night. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and then crafted a smile for myself to wear so that the little ones wouldn't be frightened.

Figaro: We still have options. If we can find traces of the distortion, we should be able to follow them. Mitile, that flute Mithra gave you… Can you call him with that? It's made specifically to call to him, isn't it?

Mitile: …If we call Mithra here and have him open up a door in space, he can follow them!

Figaro: That's right.

Mitile: Understood! I'm on it!

Mitile glanced at Rutile, and then pulled out something that looked like a taxidermied bird from his bag. Where the bird's tail should've been was a rod that made up the flute's mouthpiece, and he nervously brought it to his lips.

Rutile: Should I do it?

Mitile: …I--I'm fine. I'm going to play it now!

Lennox: Yes, thank you.

Mitile puffed up his cheeks and blew into the magical Mithra-calling flute as hard as he could. The bird had looked dead to me, but now it was wrapped in a faint light, seemingly returned to life. It spread its wings, lifted its beak to the night sky, as if to sing its song as loudly as it could. And then… Isaac grabbed the flute and crushed it in his hand.

Mitile: Ahh…!

Rutile: Isaac?!

Isaac: ……

✦✧☾✧✦

Mithra: <Arthim> …tsk, it vanished again. It keeps moving… …!

Bradley: Damn, that was close! Don't just stand up out of nowhere, idiot! I almost shot you!

Mithra: Bradley. Do you know if the Southern wizards went anywhere today?

Bradley: The Southern wizards?! I think they went to some marketplace in Central to check out a house or something!

Mithra: So not somewhere dangerous. I wonder if he sat on it and broke it. How shockingly careless. Just like his mother…

Bradley: Save the talk for later, Mithra!

Mithra: Understood. Have you killed yours yet?!

Bradley: Shut up, I will in a sec!

Mithra: I'll have mine done in a second as well!

Sylves: Kyaa… It's over here…!

Mithra: …tsk, how stubborn.

Bradley: You're making things so damn difficult!

8 - A Question Asked Beneath the Moon

The magic flute was limp in Isaac's hand, a wilted flower he'd plucked from Mitile's hands. The magic flames that had embraced it faded away without a trace. I was at a loss for words. All I could do was stare at Isaac. Lennox stood motionless. All we could hear was the night breeze as the stars glittered in the sky. Isaac looked back at me, his eyes a perfect clear blue, like water.

Isaac: …You don't need to call Mithra. I'm enough to help.

And then he turned to Rutile, too.

Isaac: You don't need to call Mithra. I will protect you.

Rutile: Ah… Um… Th…thank you…?

Mitile: Why are you thanking him?! Now Mithra isn't going to be coming!

I felt an icy cold anger welling up in my gut. And yet, I could see no animosity towards myself in his gaze. On the contrary, it was more like he was silently trying to appeal to me, pleading with me like a frightened child. He just didn't want to lose a place he felt comfortable in.

Isaac: It's fine if it's just me, isn't it, Lord Figaro?

I frowned a bit, and hoped it wasn't visible. I was the one who had brought Isaac along, after all. I showed him compassion even though I knew he was dangerous, even though I couldn't give him the love he wanted.

Lennox: I will search for Mithra.

Figaro: Even though you don't know where he is?

Lennox: I believe they might've gone to Western Country, like Ow…

Figaro: You can't get there and back before dawn.

Lennox: …I can bring him back along with the dawn…

Rutile: I'll also look for Mithra! It's possible he's already back at the manor!

Figaro: I'll do it.

Rutile: Dr. Figaro…?

Mitile: But isn't spacial magic really difficult magic…?

Figaro: It is. I won't be able to connect two places, not with my magic. But I can probably open up a rift that's already been opened before. If it works right, we should be able to follow the path that they've already taken.

And if I screw up, we'll be stuck in between dimensions forever. I didn't say that out loud, of course.

Figaro: Lennox. I'm leaving Rutile and Mitile to you. Isaac, you're with me.

Isaac: Yes!

Lennox: Wait a moment! I will also…

Figaro: I don't know if I'll actually succeed. Someone needs to get that--just in case, like you said. If dawn breaks, follow the spacial distortion's tracks. I know he can do it.

I pulled a button off my shirt sleeve and handed it to Lennox. He looked at it with an intimidatingly grim expression.

Lennox: What are you trying to do? This isn't meant to be a dying memento, is it…?!

Figaro: Woah, that's a scary look on your face. If I was going to be giving you something to remember me by, I'd give you something better than this, at least.

Lennox: …then…

Figaro: Give that to Oz if I don't come back. He'll be able to locate me.

It was more like he could probably locate me, but I opted for the more confident version instead. Lennox squeezed the button in his hand desperately, almost reverently. He can be very obedient.

Lennox: …I will take care of it.

Rutile: Are you okay, Dr. Figaro…?

Figaro: Everything's fine. And I'll have Isaac with me, too.

Isaac: Leave it to me.

Figaro: See you soon, Mitile.

Mitile was looking up at me, worry plain on his face. I smiled at him and patted his cheek, still soft with youth. I knew what the prophecy said about him. One day, he'll become a wizard that will kill all other Southern wizards. But that foreboding future was still far from now. Wasn't there anything I could do for this child? My hand fell from Mitile's cheek, and I turned away from them. I started walking towards the hotel, Isaac at my side.

Mitile: …Why can you use spacial magic?

Mitile's question made me turn back around. My white coat fluttered in the night breeze. In the pale light of the moon, the sleeves looked like whitecaps on the sea. And across those waves stood a boy.

Mitile: If it's such a difficult to use magic that only Lord Oz and Mithra can use it, then why…

Figaro: …

I didn't answer. I couldn't think of any words that wouldn't end up hurting him. Instead, I felt laughter welling up inside of me.

Figaro: (It'd be so stupid if Faust and his group turned up perfectly safe somewhere and I was the only one who died in vain about it.) (But I shouldn't abandon another one.) (I'm not going to abandon anyone ever again.)

✦✧☾✧✦

Lennox: …

Rutile: Do you think they'll be okay? Dr. Figaro was acting a bit odd…

Lennox: …Yeah.

Mitile: …

Rutile: Leno. We're more than enough to go pick up Lord Oz. If you'd like to, you can go with Dr. Figaro…

Lennox: Alright. I'll go with him. Rutile, please hold onto this button.

Rutile: Understood.

Lennox: Here's a mana stone for the elevator. It's the middle of the night, so keep an eye out for bandits.

Rutile: You take care too, Leno.

Lennox: Thank you. Mitile, are you alright?

Mitile: …Yes. Leno, I want you and Dr. Figaro to come home safe, okay? Don't push yourselves or do anything dangerous, okay? Please.

Lennox: We'll do our best.

Mitile: Um, Leno… Why do you sometimes call Dr. Figaro "Lord Figaro"?

Lennox: ……

Mitile: Isaac says it too, and so does Lord Arthur… Lord Arthur said it's because he's close with Lord Oz, but… Dr. Figaro is… The person Figaro Garcia is… Who is he, really?

Lennox: … He's Southern country's doctor, and your magic teacher.

Mitile: …

Lennox: I have to go now.

Rutile: Take care!

Mitile: …gh, be sure you come home safe! Both you and Dr. Figaro!

Lennox: Yeah.

Rutile: Mitile. We should get going, too.

Mitile: …Right!

9 - A Final Farewell For You

Gilles: Milady Liliana, what is the matter? It's so late at night…

Liliana: I'm returning to the palace.

Gilles: …I cannot permit a noble lady such as yourself to depart in the middle of the night. Are you going to go see that person? I can escort you to the Royal Botanical Gardens…

Liliana: No. I shall meet that person again at the palace. When I am crowned.

Gregory: Liliana!

Liliana: ……

Gregory: Liliana! It's me, Gregory! I'm here to help you!

Gilles: A talking bird is quite unusual. Shall I strike it down?

Liliana: No need. …To help me?

Gregory: Right. You were so scared of going to the palace, weren't you!? But I didn't have enough confidence in myself and let you go. I thought that you would be happier living there…

Liliana: ……

Gregory: The truth is, I didn't want to give you up! This time, I'll prove my sincere love and courage. I won't let you go anywhere! I love you, Liliana.

Liliana: …… Heh heh…

Gregory: You can ask the General too! Liliana, a white-haired wizard cast some kind of spell on you.

Gilles: Oho. A white-haired wizard…

Gregory: Yes! He must've been the one who turned me into a bird too…!

Gilles: Did this wizard look like… that?

Gregory: Huh…?

Nova: ……

Gregory: You're…! …!? …Liliana…!

Liliana: ……

Gregory: …L… Let go of me…! I can't breathe… You're crushing me…!

Liliana: I'm sorry to disappoint, but I do not love you.

Gregory: …n… ghh… Lili… ana…

Liliana: Goodbye, Gregory.

Gregory: …rr…! …

Liliana: ……

Gilles: He's not moving anymore…

Nova: How hideous.

Liliana: It's your fault for turning him into a bird.

Nova: I simply capitalized on your tragedy. Or perhaps it's a comedy. Lovers torn apart after one is turned into a bird.

Liliana: Silence.

Nova: Heh heh…

Liliana: He's gone… What a ghastly man. Gilles, I'm leaving. Do away with the carcass.

Gilles: As you wish… …… Sigh. Poor thing… I am fond of animals, so I had no wish to see such an unfortunate scene. Do away with it, eh? I'll burn it so it turns to ash… …… A natural burial should be sufficient. Bird-man, your declaration of love had a stirring effect on me. I found myself listening transfixed, as if it were an act out of a play. May you find happiness in your next life. That should do. Well then, off I go.

✦✧☾✧✦

Gregory: …pwuh…! Pweh… Pweh…! …I thought I was done for…! What's the matter with them!? Just what happened to Liliana!? She's going to be crowned in the palace… but His Majesty the King is still alive! …For now, I hate to say it, but I have no choice but to rely on the Master Sage. To the Royal Botanical Gardens…!

✦✧☾✧✦

Shino: Hah… Hah…! How's Nero!?

Skinny old man: He's still breathing!

Shino: …rgh, where is it… Where's that spacial distortion… …! Faust's curse tools are reacting! What is it, Heath!? Is there something up with that wall!? …! That wall… it's ever-so-slightly see-through…! Good job, Heath! Color me impressed…!

Curly-haired woman: …W-We can get out through here…?

Shino: Yeah!

Curly-haired woman: …Thank goodness…!

Slender youth: We can go home alive…!

Shino: Stand back. I'm going to form a magic circle with Faust's mirror as an intermediary. <Matzah Sudipas>!

Skinny old man: Ooh…! The crack which was hardly a finger's width…! …is widening into a fissure in space!

Shino: …rgh, that's not enough… I need to get it big enough for a person to pass through… <Matzah Sudipas> …!? Where are you going, Heath…!?

Curly-haired woman: Eeyah…!

Shino: …!

Short gentleman: It's that thing…! It chased after us!

Shino: I don't believe it…! What about Faust…!? …No… This is a second one…! The fissure's widened! Heath, come back…! All of you, get out through here!

Short gentleman: Where does it connect to!?

Shino: I don't know! Anywhere's better than here! Hurry!

Slender youth: All right! Now, give me your hand…

Curly-haired woman: T-Thank you…

Shino: …Hurry it up! I can't hold on much longer…!

Short gentleman: Come along with us…!

Shino: Take Nero and Heath out first!

Skinny old man: …! Look out…!

Shino: …! (If I dodge now, the fissure will disappear just as it's opening!) (I can't! I can't evade it!) …W…!? I'm not hurt…? I thought that flash of light got me…

Short gentleman: It's no good! We can't get near that beast…! It'll bite us…

Shino: Heath, go through that fissure! Please! Please go, Heath! He's going to attack again…! Heath…!

Nero: …n… Ah… <Adnodis Omnis>

Shino: Heath's asleep… …Nero…!

Nero: …I'll stay behind… you go first…

Shino: Shut up, stupid! I need you to take care of Heath. Take him and go!

Nero: This broom is Faust's…

Shino: Enough, just go…!

Nero: …ngh, all right…

Shino: …Hah… <Matzah Sudipas> …rgh… again… I felt as if I took the hit, but…

Short gentleman: I'm the last one! You should get out too!

Shino: All right! …Hey! Faust's mirror! Go to Faust. Don't tell me you can't do it! I've seen plenty of sentient objects on all the missions I've been on! Now put some spunk into it! I'm counting on you… return to Faust! <Matzah Sudipas> The mirror started moving…! Now if I can just get through this fissure… …rgh!

✦✧☾✧✦

Shino: … …uurr… …It's freezing… …Where am I…? …It's white as far as the eye can see…I sense the presence of belligerent spirits… …Is this Northern Country…?

10 - Loneliness Like No Other

Figaro: Well then, let's get going.

Isaac: Yes.

Figaro: <Possideo>

Lennox: …!

Figaro: Leno?!

Lennox: I'm coming with you, too.

The spacial distortion had lost its stability, and I saw scene after different scene pass around me.

Trees with dense foliage deep in an overgrown forest.

A small room, covered in dust.

And…

Somewhere that looked like an underground waterway. I saw what looked like a face down corpse in the water. Its back was torn up horribly, bleeding into the water. It looked like huge claws had raked over it, time and time again. I was pretty sure I saw a familiar crest on that bloody, torn-up back. Blood was suddenly rushing in my ears. Was that Faust? I need to hurry. I need to help him. He's going to turn to stone. He's going to turn to stone before me. I lifted my hand, and then the scene changed again. The next thing I saw was…

A place that looked so very similar to my long-lost hometown.

✦✧☾✧✦

Figaro: …gh…hah…

The first thing I felt was the cold, relentlessly leaching my body heat. And then, like needles piercing my skin, the presence of a haughty, individualistic land. This was Northern Country. Now that I'd realized that, I needed to use my magic to make sure my body temperature didn't get any lower. This was a bitterly cold country where humans without magic couldn't survive.

Figaro: …

For some reason, my magic didn't spark. My fingertips felt frozen, and so did my lungs. The blizzard had blinded me. I couldn't see anything. Everything was white.

Figaro: Hahh…hah… <Possideo>

I recited my spell, my longtime companion. But the spirits did not respond.

Figaro: …hah…

Prepared for how much more it was going to freeze me, I drew my magic circle in the snow around me.

Figaro: <Possideo>

Nothing. The spirits felt so far away. I was struck by an unbelievable sense of loneliness. As I stood there in that field of pure white nothingness, long-forgotten memories decided to grace my mind. Then I saw a person's silhouette through the snow. It was so big it had to be Lennox. I sighed in relief.

Isaac: Lord Figaro.

It was Isaac. He wasn't getting frozen over by the cold despite how lightly he was dressed. Of course he wasn't--he was a Northern wizard. But in my eyes, as I was slowly getting more and more numb from the cold, Isaac seemed bizarre to me.

Isaac: What's wrong? Why aren't you using your magic to protect yourself?

Figaro: …gh…hah…haahh…

I opened my mouth to say something and couldn't. I couldn't stop shivering, my teeth clacking against one another. I grabbed Isaac's arm. We needed to get back to the space we'd just been in somehow. Faust was badly wounded. If we didn't hurry, he was going to die. I couldn't see Lennox, either. If I couldn't use my magic, who was going to protect him from the harsh Northern winds? Isaac touched my face. I tried to push his hand away, but I couldn't muster up the strength to do it. He smiled at me. He so gently, kindly murmured--

Isaac: Ah…. …You can't use your magic, can you… …I understand… It's happened to me a few times, too… …So now… I can turn you to stone.

My eyes widened. Vicious anger swirled inside of me at Isaac's insincere insolence. But I couldn't even summon my magical focus to my upturned hand. There was no derision towards me in Isaac's eyes. Just gratitude, from the very bottom of his heart, for his god. His broad shoulders were trembling with emotion.

Isaac: …ahh, Rutile. I understand now. We couldn't make a promise to one another… If you want to be with someone, you have to take them for your own.

Isaac's large fingers wrapped around my neck. It took only seconds for me to come up with any number of ways to fight back. But I knew it was all pointless. No matter what I tried to do, it was impossible for a powerless, pitiful human to win against a Northern wizard. No matter what I could say to try and convince him to do something else, Isaac's magic would force me to submit. I wonder if Oz was this frightening to the humans that he stood before? They must have despaired at their own powerlessness and cursed the world. And yet… I couldn't give in. Faust's life. Lennox's life. Mitile's future, carried so delicately in my palm. I'm sure Oz was worried about this too. That I'd turn to stone someplace like this. So I clawed desperately at the ground, thinking as hard as I could.

Figaro: Ah… Isaac… Hold on. Listen to me.

Isaac: Please don't worry, Lord Figaro. I will put you into my body, and you'll be safe there.

Figaro: …If I turn to stone, I won't be able to praise you anymore. You're a good kid, Isaac.

Isaac: That's just fine… If you turn to stone, we can be together forever, and I won't have to worry anymore.

Figaro: But we won't actually be together, will we?

I was starting to despair a bit myself at what I was saying. That's correct. Of course I knew that. Even if I ate the rock of someone dear to me, it didn't mean we were together now. Tiletta was nowhere. The other wizards I'd eaten were the same.

Isaac: We will. You and I will become one. I'll turn you to stone, the way I did that Northern witch.

Suddenly, a cold, dignified voice cut through the storm.

Eva: …What did you just say?

I could see a witch perched on her broom over Isaac's shoulder, further into the raging blizzard. I knew her, of course. A proud Northern witch who had lived for as long as Tiletta had… Her name is Eva. She glared at Isaac, her beautiful eyes and face twisted into an expression of vicious, demonic hatred.

Eva: Those blue gems are something I gave to Sophie. Did you do something to her?

Isaac grinned, and it was a twisted expression. He released my throat and stood, facing Eva in the sky. Right now, Isaac was a perfect portrait of an ideal Northern wizard.

Isaac: I turned her to stone and ate her! Why not come down and see if you can find her in my stomach?

Eva: You wretch…!

A harsh light flared in the pure-white darkness of the blizzard. A duel to the death between Northern wizards had just begun.

Next Chapter

[calliethetrekkie]

Star Trek TOS S01E17: Shore Leave

Original Thoughts

"…okay I knew from fandom osmosis that ST got weird at times, especially in Season 3… but WHAT DID I JUST WATCH?! That was… weird. Not necessarily bad, but weeeeird. I guess it was an attempt to be more comedic and considering that they look like they filmed in a park, save budget. I really can’t give an opinion on this one because I honestly cannot figure out what my opinion is for this one. It’s bizarre but harmless and I’m having a hard time deciding if I liked it or not. Spock more or less tricking Kirk into shore leave was funny though and the idea of a planet that essentially creates your daydreams is interesting, haha. The fist-fight at the end was also fun, so there are some enjoyable aspects if the bizarreness turns you off."

Rewatch Thoughts

Why was past me so anti-fun?! This episode is great!

Ah man, where do I even begin with this one? This episode is ridiculous and cheap... and I love it! You can tell that they filmed most of this in some local park and outright stuck someone in a cheap bunny costume. Yet it doesn't distract from the experience at all, if anything it adds to the bizarreness of it all. It's a chance to let everyone be stupid for a little while and sometimes you need those kinds of episodes. You need to be silly and fun and let the audience have fun too. I kind of feel like we've forgotten that as of late and it needs to change.

As I have gone in production order for this watch, I think that this was well-timed for me. We've had several serious, dramatic episodes in a row such as Conscience of the King, Galileo Seven, and two court martial episodes (well three since The Menagerie is a two-parter). I was kind of glad to get back around to this one when I did. The rabbit, Finnegan, and all the other crazy illusions that pop up make the episode pure chaos. And to think all of this could have been avoided if the planet inhabitants had just left a freakin' sign up or something.

Kirk is an absolute delight here. The guy is stressed and overworked, all of which he brought onto himself but doesn't want a break. Why? Because the Enterprise is full of workaholics. The scene where Spock tricks Kirk into ordering himself to take Shore Leave is one of the freakin' greatest Trek scenes ever. There is NO WAY that I can ever be convinced that Spock and McCoy did NOT plan on pulling this stunt. McCoy knows that Kirk is a stubborn ass and likely wouldn't listen to him, so giving Spock his log entry and Spock baiting Kirk into giving himself the order? Perfection.

Not that Kirk gets a relaxing time... well for the most part. The guy gets annoyed by an old Academy bully (twice), his best friend gets 'killed', and one bad illusion pops up after the other. Even when he's on break he can't catch a break. At least he gets to imagine an old crush of his cause he gets distracted by flowers? Hooray? Okay, that was kinda cute how he was all 'where the Hell is Sulu... oh hey, a flower!'. Never change Jim. Plus he gets to beat the shit out of Finnegan and get his shirt ripped... again. IDK why he even bothers with a shirt, it's just gonna get ripped to shreds.

Though as much as I love Jim here, McCoy is the highlight for me. Yes I realize that this being me that's not saying much, but every scene of his is pure gold. There's the whole Alice in Wonderland scene, then him calling Jim to tell him that he's possibly lost his mind ever so calmly. His flirting with Barrows is cute as is him encouraging her to play princess if she wants to. IDK, he's just kind of endearingly adorable in this one? Mind you he also seemed to have forgotten his brain cells considering he decided to not get out of the way of the knight and got stabbed for his troubles. I blame the rabbit, it broke his brain. But yeah he's so lucky the caretaker managed to fix him. Look, we often see McCoy all grumpy and dealing with everyone's problems, seeing him all relaxed is a nice change of pace!

Not much to say about Spock outside the 'trick Kirk into Shore Leave' scene. I kind of wish we had Jim and Bones yank him into it with them cause Vulcan or not he needs to have at least one. But I supposed that wasn't meant to be. I almost feel like he could have been kept on the ship the whole episode and it wouldn't have really hanged much, but I guess since Nimoy has a Starring credit and is the popular one they gotta include him. Also at the end when the Chorus Girl goes up to him and he seems to have no idea how to react, poor guy. No wonder he prefers to stay on the ship XD

There are so many good moments. Sulu and his glee for guns, Barrows in the princess dress, McCoy and Barrows flirting, it's 40 minutes of ridiculousness and I love it. It's nice to see these characters able to let loose and have fun since thus far it's not a side we've gotten to see much of... well at least by choice. We even got a bit of a feelsy scene when McCoy got 'killed'. Kirk looks like he's on the verge of crying and sounds about ready to beat the shit out of the caretaker until McCoy pops back up alive and well. Even Spock is at a loss and this is around the time that their relationship becomes more argumentative. But that scene aside it's a fun episode.

So a planet where whatever you think of can be created... why did anyone think that this was a good idea? Why did no one think of having a sign or a greeter or something to inform anyone who showed up how the planet worked? Why did they wait so long to clear everything up? Did no one think 'hey maybe this is a bad idea since someone could think up so and so and get someone hurt or worst'. IDC if they have machines that can bring someone back from the verge of death, that won't do shit if someone is legit dead (I refuse to believe that McCoy was dead-dead, none of these people checked his pulse properly and I'll die on that hill.). I have SO many questions on why NO ONE thought through any of this. Maybe the Enterprise crew ended up being the trial run... that's not a bad theory actually. That is now my headcanon!

Not sure if Kirk letting everyone go on the planet was a wise move at the end, but ah well. He gets to have his time with his old crush and actually gets the break that Spock and McCoy wanted him to take. Kind of nice to see him all relaxed considering how tense he was at the start. OH the massage scene! How could I forget the massage scene at the start? Now most everyone knows I'm not a Spirk shipper... but that scene and a few during the climax sure have plenty fo context even I can't ignore haha.

Wow, kind of surprised I managed to make the review this long. I figured I wouldn't have a lot to talk about given the nature of the episode... and I was wrong. But this episode is plain fun. The first time I watched it, I think that I was so taken aback despite knowing that this was one of the weirder episodes that I was unsure of how to feel. Three years later, I can now safely say that it was a delight! The characters are fantastic, the plot is chaotic in the best way, and the cheapness only adds to the fun. You don't always need fancy sets or a million-dollar budget to make a good episode, and this is a really good example of saving on budget but still making something enjoyable. It's not my favorite cause I like me my feelsy plots, but I still had a fun time revisiting this. I highly recommend this one especially if you need something to lift your spirits, it sure lifted mine~

Original Rating: 2.5/5 Rewatch Rating: 7/10

[My TOS Reviews]

[TOS S1 Reviews]

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[ssreeder]

If you had to pick your five most favorite scenes you've ever written in your fics, what would they be?

Ok time to answer this lol. It’s so hard for me to pick 5 scenes that are my favorite to write, idk why, I’m just an odd person. But I did ask some of my mutuals what their favorite scenes were & they gave me their opinions! (Thanks guys)

1. The tree comfort scene in the first book of LIAB. I remember that particular section of the story was really dark and tense & then POOF we had tree cuddles. It was the first time the boys were cuddly together before things were official between them. Idk it was a nice breath of fresh air before it all went to hell.

2. The first bathtub scene in RIA with Sokka confronting his scars and Zuko being there for him and washing him while trying to give helpful advice he remembered from uncle. That was fun & I know a lot of people enjoyed that.

3. I’d have to say I enjoyed writing Aang & Sokka first meditation scene in ITF because I love meditation & exploring the depth of the human mind. I also loved giving Aang’s character more depth than just a goofy kid. He is wise and experienced so it was nice to give him an area that he was skilled in that allowed him to slow down and help his friend.

4. I gotta say in RIA I liked writing Sokka destroying that RR with a stick. Not just the murder but the conversation leading up to it and the implications the man made and Sokka twisting that around to justify his actions. (Also the man took pity and took of his helmet to seem more human to the boy he was trying to bond with which was his ultimate demise.) & it was cool that on the other side of camp Zuko was also taking control of his situation and killed the archer RR.

5. Last but not least would be Sokka’s fever dream, I enjoyed writing it even though it made me incredibly insecure to post haha. I pack in a lot of strange weird symbolism & hidden meaning & foreshadowing that I just know doesn’t make any sense but does it have to? It’s a fever dream! Idk it was nice & Yue was there so that was awesome.

Soooooo that’s it I guess!! (I do have a few scenes coming up with Zuko & an adult that I’ve already written & I’m really excited about because oh thank god it’s a fucking adult talking to Zuko & he isn’t growling and he is actually SHARING?? whaaatttt??? ;)

Oh & I’m really excited about TWO adults who have some scenes together that make me giggle just thinking about them interacting but that’s future stuff)

Ok that’s it!! Yippieee

[blondiest]

Weird question, but your thoughts on toxic yuri?

baby this question is not weird at all, you're good.

i guess my opinion probably depends on precisely what you mean by “toxic” and also on the particular ship; my general answer is something along the lines of “haha, yay!” but i do find very-toxic vibes to be offputting for ships where it doesn't suit my own view of their dynamic. if i pick yuri mellonear as an example, i'll say it would be hard for me to enjoy a story where mello intentionally seriously harms near (or vice versa), because i don't personally see their dynamic that way.

i would say what doesn't kill me makes me want you more is mildly toxic yuri; mello is bullying near, and in turn, near is manipulating mello (though it's worth noting that her intentions aren't really malicious). i want to hold you (hostage) and shot in the dark are not yuri, but those stories are the most toxic dynamics i've explored, and i think it would be hard for me to write anything more fraught than that (yuri or not).

for other ships i could probably read (and enjoy!) more toxic dynamics, but my own writing skills lie more in lighthearted stories overall.

thanks for the ask!! :-)

[hurlumerlu]

As usual, badly put together thoughts on Playboyy episode 5 under the cut :

My main thought on this episode is how heavy on melancholy it was. It was a lot less funny and dramatic and a lot more, idk. contemplative ? or at least that's how it felt to me. Also a lot more unsettling, we are definitely not playing anymore. Funnily enough, this gravitas is pretty close to what I hoped for when I started Playboyy, but now that I actually have it I feel wrongfooted and unsure. Which is great ! I've always enjoyed shows where I didn't know what I was in for before starting an episode (perhaps a little too much) and I appreciate the unease.

Related to the above : I like that the Nuth & Phop scenes are packed with tender moments (the piggyback, the very begining of the shaving scene, "haha i'm halucinating him :D/i'm right there", waking up in each other's arms) amidst the constant current of dread. It helps lay out the reasons Phop comes back (drugs aside) on an emotional level, and it also makes the peaks in tension that much stronger because you keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and because it could be sweet ! it could. it's good suspense.

Honnestly the fact that Nuth has been so strongly established as suspect n°1 when we're only in episode 5 makes me really doubt that he is, for lack of a better term, our Big Bad. Which does not mean I think of him as an innocent little sweetheart (don't pay people in drugs is imo a pretty low bar and he couldn't even clear that) and he absolutely had something to do with Nant's troubles, but I feel like there is something else at play. Could be way off though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Unpopular opinion probably but I worry for him too. He does not seem well ! He also doesn't seem to have much of a support system ! If this all ends badly - if it already has, for Nant, because of him - I don't think I'll be able to shake off the feeling that it all could have been avoided.

Please don't kill Phop please don't kill Phop please don't kill Phop

Other characters I would like to not see die are Nont (very much so), Soong, and Jump. (and Puen because I play favourites) the others are fair game for me not because I don't like them but because I can see multiple narrative payoffs for their death. It all depend on how it's done. (honnestly I can also imagine narrative payoffs for Nont's death, and worse endings for him than death, but. uh. I'll be gutted for sure)

Since I mentioned Soong - I told myself I would not gripe about this but I am absolutely going to gripe about this : how did Nont convince him to drink/take drugs with him ? Did he think this was Nant ? it was all very weird and I did not get how we got for point a to point c. You could argue it doesn't matter but it's the kind of things that matters to me ! Anyway, moving on :

Soong keeps having a bad time. And I'm sure many would say he deserved it, but as I'm not generally interested in characters getting their just deserts (unless it's funny) I'm still mostly feeling kinda sad for the guy, in an awkward sort of way

I'm sorry I said Nont was not good at threatening people. turns out he's just not good at threatening people with sharp objects. He's disturbingly into it when it comes to fire though ! (but also Nont baby you're gonna burn your thumb)

Zouey & Teena were very cute. So where Zouey & First trying to investigate Soong.

You know who isn't cute ? Porche. I want to sit that boy down and have a loooong talk with him. It probably wouldn't help but someone has to try.

Anyway we knew that already but the fact that none of these rich little fuckers where willing to help Nant out when they could easily have pooled their money... with friends like these, honnestly.

This may have been a wake up call for Captain ? wait and see I guess.

Captain and Puen being on good enough terms that Captain told him everything about the fake sex tape is interesting. I'm still really interested in their dynamic !

Look. Puen was so charming (and charmed) all episode and Aob was so prickly, it's hard for me not to get into the relationship that is dangled in front of us (and I didn't try). However everytime I watch this series I think of Love Conquers All (2006) and its ironic-ass title, so I look at every single relationships promised by this show with doubt and mistrust

SPEAKING OF WHICH : lmao @Prom and his little evil smile. control your face, sir.

But I still believe he didn't know why Nant was missing, so I wonder what he was smiling evily for. Plenty of options to chose from though ! Maybe he just wants to get back at the ex-playboyys for asserting their independence, which would be bad enough, but I doubt that's all. Oh well, we'll see !

Last thought : I could have sworn I saw the bottom of a brazilian flag in one of Nuth and Poph scene but I can't find it again :(

[onslaughtsixdotcom]

Making Choices Matter

When a player makes a choice in the game, they want that to matter.

That sounds extremely simple. No shit, right?

But that's actually something that I think a lot of GMs overlook, or don't realize.

When your player makes a choice during character creation, picking an offball skill or a weird feat or a strange subclass, they are literally communicating to the GM: "I'm interested in this."

I've made this opinion before, but in my opinion the true core tenet of GMing a game is to cater to your players. After all, you're putting on a little show for them. They're your friends, and you deserve to have fun as well, of course; but they are making decisions and they would love it if those decisions mattered.

This came up because there's a new playtest for the Dragon Game and in it, Paladins are no longer immune to disease or able to cure it with their Lay On Hands feature. I saw a post that said, "[That feature] made using diseases trivial in a game with a paladin."

I argue: The entire point of taking the feature is so that you can use diseases and let the Paladin player feel cool.

I would actually include disease in a game that otherwise did not include it, if we had a Paladin in the party. I would go out of my way to do that.

Because it's really cool if you say, "Okay, everyone who failed the save now has a disease," and the Paladin player pipes up and goes, "Wait a minute! I'm immune to disease! Fuck yeah!" The player feels super cool now. And if they're high enough level, the Paladin can use Lay on Hands to make their friends cured of the disease. That's something that literally no other character in the game would be capable of!

But this other person...they're just gonna never include disease in the game if they have a Paladin in the party, because they don't want to see the players succeed, I guess. Which, to me, is fundamentally the wrong approach to having a fun time with your friends.

I design these challenges to be overcome. I know as soon as I put a huge fucked up monster in front of them and say, "Haha, this thing has 3 attacks and legendary actions, you guys are fucked," the whole point is for them to destroy it. The entire reason I have this monster here is for them to kill it and win.

If your player makes a choice and you never cater to it, they have wasted that choice. This player wanted to be immune to disease! They thought it would be super cool if the enemy spewed out some horrifying shit that grows boils on your skin or whatever and they get to just go, "Nope, I don't even have to make a save, I'm literally immune to it. Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!" But because they have a bad GM who doesn't cater to their players, and in fact plays against them, they never get to have that cool moment. It never happens for them. They wasted their choice.

And I think the worst thing a GM can do is waste a player choice. They could have picked something else, but they didn't, and now they get nothing, and that sucks.

Now, the dragon game is FULL of choices. You aren't obligated to include disease for every game you have a Paladin in. That's ludicrous. A class, especially in 5e, is a huge package of multiple features and ideas, and it's basically impossible to cater to and include every single one throughout the campaign. Some of it you'll just fucking forget exists. Hopefully, you are a good GM, and communicate to your players when they make a character. Hey, Divine Health isn't even a feature you have to pick, you just get it. So maybe your Paladin player couldn't give a shit less about it. No harm, no foul. But to outright say, "I'm never using disease in a game with a Paladin," is pretty absurd to me.

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

(I want to say that I have no idea how to start a rant lmao)

I absolutely adore the idea of Rex Lapis just using his tail as a seat because sitting on the ground is for peasants- it's so funny yet fitting. And him being under 6 chains from how strong he is, is actually kind of hilarious lolol. His reaction to Gui made me very soft, it was also a little sad. The multiple info dumps from him hurt my brain, I do not have enough brain cells for this lmao. OH AND REX LAPIS HUGGING GUI UGH MY HEART

I really like the idea of Ajax being a descendent of both the Volchiy and the Zvezdochoty, it makes his ease with controlling hydro a lot more understandable and does clear up some details about Ajax. Now that I think about it- I remember that Nadya had hiden the fox trio in the forest, who says that she hadn't done the same in the original timeline and that Ajax' ancestors are one of those three? It would be really interesting and weird lolol.

Aspasia becoming the navigator after Basil dies somehow makes a lot of sense in my head, she just... fits the role? It also makes sense that Sophron would join the mutiny in the original timeline since, from what I understood, it was after(?) the split so Sophron, seeing how they were already thinking that mutiny was probs a good idea in the past celestia when Ajax got there, must've been tired of dealing with everything after the archon war, the cataclysm and then the split. So them joining Basil makes a lot of sense same with Pheynix who, if I recall properly, was on friendlier terms with Vinea then the other shades(I think? It's been a bit since I read that chapter where the two are introduced).

The interaction between older Skirk and Ajax at the start of chapter 48 just killed me, it was so funny seeing Ajax being completely oblivious to his injuries and Skirk just wrestling him into getting healed. And just him being like "Oh hey I got lightning scars on my arms, guess that explains the tingly feeling" like it's nothing-

The other Harbingers just being speechless and confused the entire chapter was so fitting. Morax and Ajax arguing was also just perfect, having Ajax trying so hard to make the things he did look less big then they are and Morax just completely shutting him down- And that part where Morax is like "Who's the martial god, huh? Who is it, God of Annihilation?" like plssss Morax is so sassy I love it.

Morax comparing himself to Rex Lapis just- ugh my little heart can be heard breaking. Don't worry, you'll get there honey-

ok. I think I said all I wanted to say... at least I can't think of anything else off the top of my head...

anyways thanks again for another celestial chapter! It was wonderful! Like always!

Oh and this might just be my personnal opinion but don't worry about the chapter lenght, I don't mind it being, like you said, "stupidly beastly" I actually love it like that, but I don't mind shorter chapters either! Don't force yourself to make longer chapters just for me haha

Anyways, have a great time, thanks again!

-Love, Nera, the 6reeze enthousiast <3

my average chapter lenght is like between 6k and 8k so whenever it exceeds that i'm just like- well i guess this is it hahah;;

the mutiny in the original timeline did come after the split, and yeah, pheynix is by far the shade on 'best terms' w celestia (mostly sophorn and the non-combatants) since she's the gentlest. i don't think i've put this anywhere in the fic yet and i don't think it's a spoiler so here, exclusive tumblr early access content (?): skirk is the god of death and istaroth is the god of time, so by that rule the other two are also gods of important things. i decided at the very start that andromache would be the god of justice (maybe a very specific justice so that it doesn't clash w focalors, just like how skirk is the god of death in battle/god of the slaughtered while istaroth is the god of time but as in moments/kairos), and pheynix would be the god of life (again, something more specific. idk, like- the kind of gentle hopeful life that's like those images of little growing plants in a field of nothing but ashes). that's why she's in charge of the garden, as sophron said; the inteyvat isn't strictly alive but it's the best they could give her to look after since they already had dendro gods in charge of the actual greenery of the island.

oop accidentaly infodumped there- it's the zhongli pfp curse. anyway, all that to say that you're spot on; everything that happened in the og timeline that hasn't yet happened (and won't) in the 'new' timeline kinda built up the idea of mutiny more and more. and so when the split happened, by far the most drastic and shocking event so far, and then asmoday and zagan decided to thanos snap the remaining population in a tantrum, sophron and pheynix n everyone else said "ok yeah fuck this we ball"

anyway uhhhh- thank you;;; <3 <3 <3 <3

[nachitoesmuybonito]

10 films I love

Tagged by @chocopinda <3

I'm gonna do my best! Because, here's a secret: I watch a lot of stuff, but half the time it ends up being background noise because my attention span is often shit when watching things alone; with some exceptions, of course. Blame that gamer brain!

The Ritual (2017) I’ve watched this several times on my own and once or twice with friends. I really, really like it! It’s a short horror film that does something I really enjoy: saves the creature for the very end. So, throughout the film you get a lot of strange and creepy moments, but you’re kept on edge wondering exactly what the cause is. So good. Definitely recommend it.

The Green Mile (1999) I read the book for this and, while often movies don’t live up to the book, this was still an amazing film adaptation. It focuses on a group of prison guards and the day to day life of working on death row, though the heart of the tale truly revolves around a new prisoner with a very special, and quite mysterious gift. I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s a really powerful story

In The Tall Grass (2019) It’s strange, it’s a little creepy and it can be really confusing on the first watch. I’ve watched it twice so far and I’ve picked up on things I missed from the first viewing. It’s another of those movies that really keeps you guessing all throughout, and the twists along the way alone make for an interesting experience!

Dreamcatcher (2003) You might be seeing a bit of a pattern, huh? I like Stephen King stuff, haha. In this case, the book was definitely better (just my opinion), but I still enjoyed the movie! With this one you get some humor (and dark humor), horror, body horror and aliens. I’m a fan of the weird, and if you are too it might be one worth checking out.

It (2017) I hate clowns and this right here is one of the biggest reasons why. I remember seeing the original, so of course I jumped on this as soon as it came out and, wow. You see the killer clown in this version a whole lot more. This will give you a full dose of horror, and a whole lot of blood, but following the lives of the teenagers deemed outcasts is some pretty powerful stuff, too.

It Chapter 2 (2019) Another go around with the killer clown and the outcasts, except now the outcasts are all grown up. It’s kind of more of the same, horror and blood, and to me also highlights that things that terrified you as a kid sometimes remain with you as an adult.

The Mist (2007) Okay, this one had a short story, movie and a series (that only got one season, ugh). We’re obviously focusing on the movie for this. If you like weird creatures and government experiments gone wrong, give it a look! You get glimpses of the creatures or parts of them throughout the movie, but a lot of it is left to the imagination and I always find that fun. I will say, the story has a better ending; the movie ending killed me, so fair warning.

Dragonheart (1996) Going back a ways now! This is one of those films that I’ve adored for years. I’ve always liked dragons and knights and all that kind of stuff, so it was right up my alley. You get a pretty good mix of fun moments and serious moments, and a good adventure to follow. Just prepare yourself for a dose of sadness at the end; still powerful, and still gets me to this day.

Fractured (2019) This one popped up as a Netflix suggestion and the premise seemed good: a man brings his wife and daughter to the ER, but they seemingly disappear, and you’re left to follow him on his search as he believes the hospital is hiding something. Pretty early in I had a feeling I knew what was going on, but even when expecting the twist it was a good watch that kept me gripped!

The Labyrinth (1986) I don’t even know what to say here, haha. It’s just one of those movies I’ve always enjoyed, though I haven’t watched it in years. I mean, come on, it’s got David Bowie! And it’s really kind of weird, so I guess that’s just more reason I enjoy it.

And, there you go. There are others, for sure (@chocopinda hit on a few of my favorites with Donnie Darko and Fargo <3) but the list called for ten, so here we are. I also have no idea who to tag so, uh: @8choloko, @xtakeitisisx, @michaelmandog, @ignaciosalamanca

[1d1195]

BESTIE WDYM THE HONEY UPDATE WAS PUERLY SMUT?!?(also can’t believe I missed another poll?!? This is what I get for not being on my phone 😔) I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT SO IT WAS SURPRISING! I’m obviously not mad about it though lol NOW my mind is going crazy be he’s just down bad and I’m so loving it! He’s so😵‍💫 and she was literally about up kill him with going bare.. LIKE GIRL YOU KNOW DEEP DOWN THAT MAN WOULD GIVE YOU ANOTEHR CHILD IF YOU ASKED HAHAHA loved it lol also that “baggage” line :( omg ngl kinda felt sad lol anyways VERY excited to see how this all pans out! I have many questions!! Like does she actually believe that Harry is into her and it wanst just horny man brain talking? WILL HARRY BE MORE OPEN TO EXPRESSING HIS FEELINGS?! WILL SHE?!? Anyways bestie this part was wild and I loved it!

Missing a birthday trope is a very underrated! Like that hurts on so many levels lol it’s also so cute you’ve been hanging out with your baby cousin!! You just radiate being so good with children and actually enjoying it lol oh I LOVE he’s so jealous it just makes me giggle all the time! Oh bestie you did a great job writing it! I think I was also short circuiting bc I like imagined his HANDS(I typically don’t ‘see’ things when I read lol) so I was lowkey losing it too HAHA

Honestly it’s crazy how not having the proper insurance can lead to some having such horrible experiences and causing emotional/mental trauma! Like it’s a whole thing that I could go on about! But it does make me happy that you are able to at least feel not too scared to see the dentist anymore! It’s growth and that’s something to be proud of!

You have mentioned it!! And I don’t blame you for living it bc you basically experienced the whole vibe Twilight of it in real time and honestly bestie I love that for you! And omg those books you’ve mentioned sound so good!!! Currently I have seen a pattern where this era of mine included a lot of murder mystery and poetry?? So weird but some are kinda hitting ngl HAHA but you know I LOVE HEARING ABOUT THINGS YOU LOVE!!!

You truly wouldn’t survive that heat wave Sam, it was so brutal😔 also hope you’ll be able to get your heat compressor fixed!! And I’m sure it looks so cute how you decorated! The way you seem to write about your MC’s having a decorative touch, I’m sure that you have that as well!!

I’m so happy you had a good weekend and a good week!!! I feel like this is a win you needed!

My week started out pretty rough considering one of my dogs was acting a bit off. He’s fine like we took him to the vet and everything I just think he’s kind of sad? Idk but he’s fine now! But also I’ve been busy with adult stuff like calling in for bills/disputes and school stuff(so annoying tbh🙄). BUT I WENT THRIFTING TODAY!!! I got the cutest(in my opinion lol) dresses and a jacket! The dresses are both floor length so I’m debating on whether or not I should make them shorter! Plus one of them is a really pretty black velvet fabric which I was just in awe of! Anyways lol overall I don’t have anything planned like fun wise but I’m okay with that honestly lol I have until the end of the month to relax a bit which is okay!

Hope you have another lovely weekend!! Miss you loads and love you lots Sam!!❤️-💜

Good for you for not being on your phone! I feel like I'm doing too many polls tbh so don't even worry about it!

I'm saving a breeding kink for another one of my Harrys but this one is def going to be up there with him hehehehehe He is so down bad. Just lay him on the floor he's down. You will def see more of the baggage line. I had no idea I was going to get so much feedback on it! I forget how I came up with it in the moment. I just thought it sounded kinda needy and Harry of COURSE meant it and he will carry it, but he just wanted her to stop thinking (guess it worked 🤭) I love your questions so much! I can't wait to see what you think of the next part!

I have another missing bday trope coming up next week. Not as aggressive though. Idk there's just something about it, and making Harry grovel for forgiveness hehehehe

Babies make INTENSE eye contact with me at Target in the checkout line. My bf is so sick of it tbh hahahaha I make friends with every little baby and toddler. I have fairly curly hair (and with the humidity FORGET IT) I look like a frizzy mess but I think that babies don't see curly hair all that often? Idk. they stare at me for so long. Or maybe it's just i have this super friendly, wide open, baby-expressive face. I saw this girl on tik tok say she's not hot but she's cute because a guy won't ask for her phone number at the grocery store, but she will be asked for her phone number so she can babysit. That's probs me to a tee. A baby flirted with me in the ice cream line (idk what else to call it) but he was so adorable asking what flavor I wanted after I asked him and if he loved ice cream (I should probs stop I'm ruining a future story line 🤭)

There is something about Harry Styles' hands I will think about them every day of my life. I'm glad I could help you visualize it 😂

I have so much financial anxiety. I think I need to be studied. Like I wake up thinking about how much money I don't have and how I can't do ANYTHING fun lol

VERY interesting you have murder mystery and poetry! I wouldn't put those two together but I lowkey love that! I can so see that being your vibe though 💕

They fixed it pretty quick but Idk why public buildings WITH CHILDREN are not mandated to have AC. WILD to me. If I were a politician it would be my first decree. I do try to have an aesthetic but I think my aesthetic is a basic white 20-something millennial bitch 😭😭 so idk how aesthetic I really am

Oh no! Your poor puppy :( I'm glad he's fine now. Good to know dogs go through it too 😭 But he didn't deserve that. I got 0% satisfaction contacting financial aid or the bursar office at my college. I wrote on a survey "I want to jump in front of a car anytime I have to talk to financial aid office; they are the least helpful and friendly people I've ever had the PLEASURE of speaking to." I never heard back from my college about it and they never ask me for donations so I feel like that's the key to keep your money in your pocket. I love the sound of your dresses, especially the velvet one that sounds stunning! I'm envisioning a NYE party 😍 I'm a huge maxi dress fan. All my dresses are long. I love them!

I'm hoping to have a good weekend! Miss and love you too!!!!

xoxo

[hillian-sketch]

R: See this El? this is an ask.

E: Ok, what does it do?

R: It sends something to someone.

E: Who are you sending something to?

R: Hillian and Os.

E: What are you sending?

R: Dunno, let me think…

R: Hey there, how are you? Do you like carrots? Have you ever eat soap? How did it taste? What’s something really underrated? What’s something really overrated? Do you have something interesting to draw for our creator who’s bored? What’s your opinion on lasers?

E: Don’t you think that’s too much?

R: no, but I will stop before you cry.

E: But I’m not crying?

R: Shh!

H:jezz sorry if you were waiting for a while our creator was probably asleep

Os:yeah we're sorry about that

H:wait why are we apologizing for our creator mistakes

Os:because we're the one answering

H:that stupid

Os:hilly just focus on answering the questions ok

H:fine (⁠╯⁠^•□•^）⁠╯⁠︵⁠ ⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

H:*holding a piss of paper* ok let's see "how are you?" Well I'm doing good

Os:yeah me to

H:"do you like carrot?" Yeah actually one of the only plant I like

Os:yeah I also like it

H:"have you ever eaten soap?" Yeah I have

Os:excuse me what!?!?!!

H:yeah I ate soap ones

Os: what the hell?!!?!

H:answer the question Os

Os:o-ok no.....why did you eat soa-

H:not Important!! Anyway next question "what does it taste like?" I'm guessing you mean the soap? Well it tastes kinda weird I guess

Os:seriously when did you eat soap?!??!

H:I told you not Important!!! Ok next question "What something really underrated?" *In a smug voice* Our creator obviously

Os:seriously hilly.But if we're being serious the creator would probably say "aphmau my inner demons series"

H: my inner what....? Oh wait a minute that part of their childhood

Os:yeah I'm pretty sure they would answer the question with that answer

H:ok if you think so...ok next one "what something overrated" ok I'm pretty sure someone is going to try and kill me if I answer it but here's go notting *inhale nervously*

"The new gen of my little pony is bad" but I disagree the only reason people dislike the new gen of my little pony is because their nostalgia makes it so they can't appreciate the new gen for what it is "a simple retailing of the old story" but as "a horrible continuation to the series" because it's so different from the previous gen but the reasoning for it to be so different is because the new gen is pleased multiple years in the future of the series

Os:................

H:ok next one before the my little pony fan kill me for saying that "do you have something interesting to draw for our creator who's bored" I'm guessing you what a drawing prompt? If so draw a character with as many eyes as possible that sounds fun right?

Os:ok so ignoring the stuff you said about my little pony.isn't the reason I have so many eyes is because if that?

H:no the reason you have so many eyes is because your sepose to be a spider

Os:oh yeah forgot haha

H:but wait a minute how are you a spider you only have 2 arms and 2 legs and thanks to whatever I've done you only have 1 arm and spider sepose to have 8 arms/legs

Os:*nervous* haha y-yeah that......look how about we go to the next question ok

H:ok? Oh last question "what's your opinion on laser?" I think it's cool how about you Os

Os:yeah I agree even tho it's dangerous it's kinda cool

H:ok a long answer for a long ask hope this satisfied your curiosity

Os:and sorry again for the late answer

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hiiii!!! 💫💕🌸🥳

Can I bother with a question... I was (re)watching that zhang qiling edit (not today) - 'cause it's so cool, btw- and I wondered if Reboot Xiaoge’s your favourite one...? And if you're up to answering, what do you think about the other adaptations? Especially (our small bean) xiao yuliang's interpretation of xiaoge?

🤗🌺💐🐰💕

Hey, my precious patootie hehe ILY it always makes me very happy knowing that you rewatch my vids <3

lol dang it, I was kinda hoping to avoid this question, just because I feel like I'd find it hella hard to explain some things, but I'll try my best and hopefully it'll make some sense xD

I'll start from afar bc I wanna try to explain my reasonings, since I don't want to go without arguments into such highly debated question lolz. I talked about this a bit in my previous asks somewhere, but not broadly as to why that one guy hit all the right spots.

So throughout the books Wu Xie always does this wonderful thing, where he very tangibly describes the feeling he gets when Xiaoge is near, I mean like the aura around him. And he always somehow does it so colorful, that this mix of safety, assurance, calmness, composure and some things I can't quite put into one noun, that he brings to him, I think everyone who've read the books can recognize as this almost magical "Xiaoge feeling". It's not just the way he acts in some dangerous situations or smth like that. It's just everything. You either have it or you don't. And here goes my first argument... to me none of them, except for Huang Junjie and Yuliang have it.

I mean it's not even the obvious stuff, it's like the way they move during the action scenes, the way they even stand and hold themselves, the way they touch Wu Xie, the tone of their voices (both of which are like soothing as fuck), little things you'd think wouldn't matter, but when you watch it and all the puzzle pieces are together, you're like... fuck yeah, thats him.

Also not really that weighty of a point, but to me there's always a joy to see that the actor who plays the character not only gets what's he's playing, but also loves it, bc it's always seen on screen. Usually when some asked about the character they play and what they have in common for example they answer with obvious things like if some character is introverted they're like "well I also don't talk very much" or smth like that, you know what I mean. When I was watching interviews of Yuliang and Huang Junjie I was just smiling so much, bc they've said such things that made me go "yeah, Qiling is safe in their hands".

In Reboot case working in such close proximity with the author definitely also played a huge role here. Bc it kinda gets complicated in some aspects since the books are written from Wu Xie's point of view and you can't only base your picture on his perspective, just bc it's coming from a person who after being basically told "you're my whole world" goes "I'm just a person he randomly passes by in his long life" in his thoughts. Not only he's utterly clueless and dumb when it comes to all this, that he wouldn't notice the way Qiling looks at him and other things, its also not that kind of book, that would go "I suddenly caught poker face looking at me like I'm his whole existence" (and I honestly don't want it to be that book lmao). So you have to take into the account here stuff like what author says to get the whole picture, bc if you look at that from the point of Qiling's view for example, this shit takes a whole wild turn. So I really loved that in UN and Reboot ways of showing Qiling's feelings were well thought out and fit the timeline.

Bc it also works both ways, when it comes to other adaptations. Like Qiling is very and I mean ETREMELY hard to win over. We all know that it was a very long process of gaining his trust and even longer for him to fall for Wu Xie to the point of him being his everything. So what I want in those interpretations is for them to get at which point of their relationships what Xiaoge's behavior makes sense. I do not need any fanservice if it ruins the character, I'll just hate it. The thing that their feelings didn't come out of nowhere is what I LOVE about this ship, bc I'm not the kind of person who believes in "we love for nothing" thing and love at first sight thing (only "got hots for each other" at first sight), bc thats bull. Wu Xie became his everything after a long LONG process of getting to know each other. At the beginning tho he was the same stranger to him as everyone else. So what Reboot Qiling feels for Wu Xie is not what UN's Qiling feels for Wu Xie yet and what UN's Qiling feels for Wu Xie is not what Lost Tomb's Qiling feels for Wu Xie (which at that point was nothing). And I feel like not everyone gets the fact that you can totally wreck the character if you make him behave not the way he behaved in that particular time. Like for example, if someone would make a MDZS adaptation where at the very beginning of their relationships LZ treats WWX the way he treated him after the reincarnation just because "who cares, it's still LZ", that would be dumb af, see what I mean. So Xiaoge having a weakness for Wu Xie in part one is automatically not a Xiaoge to me, bc a huge part of his character and the thing NPSS speaks a lot about is just how IMPOSSIBLE it is for someone to catch his attention and how long it took Wu Xie to get there. So let's just say to me UN and Reboot Qilings for the first time didn't feel like some mashup or character summary/parody, they were Qilings the way they are supposed to be in that part of the story, bc it was the only times someone actually bothered to coordinate it.

Now as to why I prefer one to another. Xiaoge has this thing... the way he holds himself with other people, that is sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally suppressing.

Like everyone knows that if you're a passerby, Qiling genuinely doesn't fucking care and would in fact be pretty harsh about it in terms of treating people like they do not deserve their attention. He won't be like "please, don't bother me", he simply ignored them like an empty space. He is also like that with acquaintances who in his opinion do not deserve his respect like that girl who went hysterical, bc she was upset that he was the only one who wasn't drooling on her like all other men on the crew, Chen Wenjin, Wu Xie's uncles and etc. He's not openly disrespectful unless they trigger him in some way (usually by trying to act superior or later on for not treating Wu Xie right), but if they do, he will in fact remind them their place in sometimes a very rude way, at times humiliating them in front of ppl bc he looks younger than them and talking starts.

He's always doing things on his own terms and hates being told what to do. Like he legit scared Chen Wenjin just with a look and the tone of his voice when he said "let go", when she tried to command him on the mission and grabbed him trying to lecture him about what he should or shouldn't do. That's why Wu Erbai didn't even try anything like this and let him do whatever he needed to do and equally lead the mission in Reboot. And why the scene where Wu Xie 'commands' "Xiaoge, come back" and he immediately listens holds another special place in my heart. Bc he NEVER and I mean NEVER allows such things to ANYONE.

So here I came to a point of why despite loving them both dearly, my favorite Xiaoge is Huang Junjie.

I have this dissonance with Yuliang's version when to me in many scenes it felt like he and Wu Xie are the same age. Like if he was Xiaoge, but in his 20s. In his interactions with Chen Wenjin the dynamics was turned upside down, with him being okay with her telling him what to do and just in general the way she behaved with him. Same as like I didn't always quite believe him to be on par with older generation or even Pangzi, it just felt like he was truly younger than them. Some scenes that I do find extremely cute just don't fit book Xiaoge at all, I'm talking about some moments like his face when Wu Xie gave him food, or him pouting and many things he's done, when you were going "uwu he's a baby". He just never gives me this feeling in the books ever, not just bc he's 100 years old, but sad fact here.. bc he's simply unable to behave that way. Like in the books you'll desperately want to shower him with love, but he's just... I can't quite explain, it's very sad.

I guess it's just you know these characters, who are like hundreds years old, but look like they're 18? I think you have to be very careful with how you write those, so you could deliver that. And in UN because of some changed dynamics and scenes I straight up forgot about it, until Wu Xie threw some joke like "he's an old man" in front of a restaurant.

In Reboot Xiaoge could make Wu Erbai stutter with one move, put Yuliang's version in the same scene, I just don't think it would've worked. Like I'm trying to imagine him telling UN's Wu Erbai what to do and having troubles already haha. Same as I don't think he's capable to be genuinely mad at Wu Xie, and HJJ nailed it esp in one of my fav when Wu Xie was laughing at Pangzi's joke about him catching cold. The look he gave him and how ZYL just retreated was priceless xD. And boy could Qiling get angry with him in the books!

Otherwise I didn't have any drastic fall outs there, like with Joseph's Wu Xie and Ah Ning's death, because that was just too much of a difference, but there were still moments where it was once again this the same scene completely different emotion thing. He was more tolerable to ppl in general here, more pliable. And 50% of the time he gave me the cute lost kitten type, which I just cannot connect with the feeling he gave me in the books. His personality is a cat type 100%, but like seriously "cute baby" is the last word combination I would ever apply to book Xiaoge, but with Yuliang's version it's easily applied. So small bean he is indeed. With Joseph and in UN it works incredibly perfect to me, but the way he is in UN is at times too gentle. And there are lots of scenes where Joseph himself looked at him in a way "you're too cute, let me pinch your cheeks" kind of way, or the way he like sat down next to him on the coast, he was a bit babying him at times. I can't imagine book pingxie doing that. It's just a whole different vibe, the way he takes care of him, the way he lets him take care of him... it's...uuuuuuuuu another vibe (see, I'm so good at explaining lmao).

It's also kinda funny to me, bc HJJ who's the smallest and who irl truly a kitten never once gave me that feeling on screen for some reason. The one babied and loved by every crew and old ppl, who was cutely hiding behind ZYL's back on set, who won't sue an ex who almost ruined his career bc of how stupid she is, bc he "didn't want to hurt her", who according to staff can't even step on a fly, whom CMH was petting for several minutes after he had to hit him with a prop brick bc he didn't wanna do it lmao. I was just like.. ok, this is hilarious, bc I in fact didn't expect him to be a small bean, so watching all the bts made me go LOOOOL. Probably ZYL acting like a 3 year old helped him transform and the age difference problem got lost lmao

As for other adaptations. You know I can't watch seriously "Lost Tomb", I think some ppl probably have some nostalgic feeling about it, but I'm sorry, to me it's fucking hilarious. Like I've already said it looks like some type of twilight parody thing or smth. Soft damselle Wu Xie esp killed me, bc 1st when he ever was that, 2nd in the first book he's salty af, I don't even know this dude in this interpretation, I was like who's this. YangYang I know him from other things, I really don't think it's his role. I know the script and everything is bad. I know the costume and hair are horrendously funny, but it's just I was watching him in those action scenes and was like no... just I'm sorry but I'm not feeling it. I simply just don't know what to say about the whole thing seriously, bc I don't even know where to start. 10 episodes of some salad finished with one mutilated scene from book 6 for no reason the fact that characters are weird themselves also I can't quite tell, did they really just meet or they imply smth else lmao.. I'm sorry, but I do not get it.

I've given LT2 another try after finishing all the books and I've dropped it half way through, Cheng Yi wasn't even close to how I pictured Xiaoge in any aspect. He in fact didn't do anything OOC or off the book or anything, I just was like "not my Qiling". Happens sometimes.

Explore with the note you already know how I feel about this lol let's just forget.

P.S. To be fair here also maybe we should take into account the fact that some got luckier than other with "at which point" Xiaoge they're playing. Like for example, "Wrath of the Sea" and "Qingling Tree" books which is LT2 is not exactly you can say much about Qiling there, he trolls them there in the beginning (in a brilliant way that was totally lost in the adaptation) and he is there in "Wrath of Sea", but it's not the part that can make his character shine in any way, there's not much things happening there that would make you fall for him or get to know him; Yuliang grabbed the fattest piece bc it's middle several books, when they're always together and his character shines the most in terms of clues about past, opening up to Wu Xie and Pangzi, and there are many many events where you can get the picture of what kind of man he is; Huang Junjie grabbed my fav piece of utter devotion, where he's already fully and wholeheartedly belongs to Wu Xie, that I'm just weak for. So like... there's also that I guess xD.

[flickeringart]

Astrology observations/notes pt. 5

With the moon in Sagittarius transiting my 5th house at the moment I thought an observation post would be appropriate. It's fun and light-hearted.

Don’t take this too seriously. It’s only my personal observations and opinions.

It probably has to do with my South Node in Pisces in the 8th - I’ve felt confused about life from the start and I feel it particularly strongly this time of year, of course. Everything is blurry and I feel victimized and weak but at the same time I feel like nothing is ultimately real and is only happening in my head so I don’t know what to take seriously and what to laugh at… which is quite disturbing because that means that it doesn’t matter what I do or don’t do. It’s all equally real and unreal anyway.

Since I have a Pisces South Node I’m very anchored Piscean energy and I can’t help but laugh internally at people who have their North Node in Pisces sometimes… with a Virgo South Node they’re coming from a place of practical analysis while trying to reach toward ”more spiritual” and receptive qualities but they’re so out of touch with that side of life it’s hilarious to me.

I have to say - oppositions are scary to me. It’s true that they indicate extreme polarities in the personality and it’s hard to deal with for other people… of course, the degree to which it’s scary depends on the planets involved but my god… these people are switchy!

I looked at the chart of Prince William recently and I saw Lilith in Sagittarius on the Ascendant. It makes complete sense… he looks so flirty and naughty haha… it’s that Lilith look that’s unmistakable. His wife, Kate, also has Lilith in Sagittarius, although with her is not as obvious since she has it in her 5th house (whole signs). They probably have a lot of fun together.

Right?

Neptune conjunct Mars individuals are usually very attuned to the environment and pick up on the most subtle cues… they can get under people’s skin because Neptune is the planet of no boundaries… the passive aggressiveness and subtle undermining that can take place can be terrifying. However, I should say that these types can be great leaders and counsellors because they can easily draw out the truth in a way that doesn’t seem forceful (although it may be). Napoleon had this conjunction. So did Charles Manson.

With Leo energy there’s a tendency to want to see how important one is and how big of a role one can play in life… and it’s never enough. Being king of the world wouldn’t suffice for Leos because this sign is not about being recognized as important in a worldly sense - it’s about finding the center of selfhood, to live from the inside out, to radiate energy and warmth from within no matter if one lives in a hut or in a castle. Kingship is found within. The castle, the riches and the abundance don’t make the king - it’s the inner quality that does.

Capricorns… I’m scared of the things you’ll do in the name of preserving integrity and to remain in control… Some (all) of you hide behind a submissive front and seem harmless at first but once you’ve made the other person let their guard down, you strike. Sometimes it’s not even obvious to the person what you’ve done because you’re so subtle. Other times it’s very obvious, but it’s too late - you’ve disarmed them. I’m growing tired of being this way with Caps… wah! Though I guess everyone has some of these traits… It’s always ”kill or be killed” like the reputation of the 22°degree that’s ruled by Capricorn *sigh*.

Virgo Risings have a very calming effect on me. They often look shy and kind. I always get the impression that they mean well in everything that they do.

Scorpio Risings have Aries ruling the the 6th house (usually)… they get things done fast! So fast! Meanwhile I’m slowly cruising with my Capricorn ruled 6th house and Neptune here… I’m zoning out, moving slowly, doing a little bit of this and that as it comes to me - strategic but blurry is my way of being when dealing with daily matters. This feels so weird to me because I have 4 planets in Aries… just not in the 6th hahahaaaa… I feel so inferior in this sphere of life but at least I’m calm and serene.

Aquarians have realized that people are stupid and that makes them smart.

Aquarians have the attitude ”I can let them be who they are because I’m above it all - the senseless mess and stupidity of human existence…it is what it is”.

There’s such a big difference between Aquarius Sun people who have Capricorn Mercury vs. Aquarius Mercury placements. The Capricorn Mercuries can sound so serious and strained in their voices, like they’re greeting you with a ”welcome to the business meeting” tone. The people with Aquarius Mercury are much freer in their communication.

Scorpios have such amazing capacity for complete devotion and passion but there’s fear of being consumed by it. All of the energy that they keep buried has to be released sooner or later… and then they can become cruel because they resent being victim to larger forces of human nature - they will use the pent up energy for attack rather than letting the energy fester and kill something inside of them. Again, it’s a question of ”kill or be killed”, but it’s not the same as Capricorn’s capacity for ruthlessness. Scorpios simply have to strike because they have accumulated so much emotion. They might end up making it worse for themselves because they are very sensitive and compassionate. They will attack - question is whether they will attack themselves or someone else. Either way it’s really a lose-lose scenario from the point of view of the individual.

Leo Moons, unless they’re sufficiently counteracted by other chart placements, can’t help but dramatize everything. The women, especially, could probably make a living as professional criers at funerals. I have seen this play out - they don’t have to be close to the dead person to be the ones too cry the most. ”No one understands my feelings”… well maybe not because they’re so big and exaggerated and it makes no sense to draw all of the attention to yourself at another person’s funeral. Oh well, it’s the way of Leo. Life is a show. (To be fair they both had Moon aspecting Neptune).

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[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

✧･ﾟ: *Complaints*:･ﾟ✧

Some grammatical/cadence/character issues in the official English translation that drove me nuts when I ended up poring over a single scene for hours yesterday (AKA reasons I reworked it so much in my Albert swap-in fic). 

“I just wanted to ask you one quick thing.” *Sherlock proceeds to ask no questions for the entirety of the conversation.*

Sherlock saying, “both nobles who died were evil.” This one might be just contradictory to my perception of him, but Sherlock using good/evil so definitively feels weird to me. I think he’d make his opinion clear but not in this firm moral statement way. Which is why I changed it to “absolute bastards” lol.

“And with a sample size of merely two cases, it definitely doesn’t make a strong case.” Though the two uses of case are different, it still reads awkwardly. 

“bad rumors” just sounds dumb idk. (Also put that silent ‘u’ back, they’re British!)

“right after he was arrested he came to me...” What? He was in jail, Sherly. At least say he sent for you! You’re bad at lying, boyo. (I suppose he might have meant at the moment of his arrest, but he’s basically already established that the Lord of Crime’s minions were present at that, so that doesn’t make sense either.)

“man behind the curtain” -- anachronistic Wizard of Oz reference, I already mentioned this. Not a big problem in this series lol. 

“However, it’s impossible to prove that I didn’t do it.” Do what? This just feels grammatically weird, what part of the accusation is he referring back to? “Who’d have guessed you were the man behind the curtain?” “It’s impossible to prove that I didn’t do it.” What? 

“However, it’s impossible to prove that I didn’t do it. However, isn’t it your job to prove that I did?” This is killing me. You don’t notice right away because it’s spread over three speech bubbles but those two howevers so close together hurt me. 

Anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest. Also I’m not leaving my bed to grab the next volume and check lol but I’m pretty sure they state distance in miles (though the anime sub had kilometres I believe) and that’s a penalty. (Nope, I was wrong about this part, haha, see replies.)

To end on a non-whiny note, I leave you with this delightful and criminally underrated panel in which Sherlock gets jealous of Lestrade:

[castiellesbian]

i feel like i need a glossary of terms or a contact list for all these people involved with the show. i have shit memory and dont pay attention to the credits who is sera (sara??) and why does everyone hate her!! why is he Bobo!!!!!! please... has anyone posted about this im desperate

lol well including everyone involved with the show would be difficult, but I’ll give you some highlights

Eric Kripke: creator of Supernatural, showrunner for seasons 1-5. People have differing opinions about him but general people enjoyed his run and he’s considered the best showrunner in the series overall. Not much to say because there’s a lot to say lmao (notable episodes: “Pilot,” “Lazarus Rising,” and “Swan Song”)

Sera Gamble: writer who was involved from the beginning of the show, became showrunner after Kripke left. Her seasons, 6 and 7, are typically regarded as the weakest seasons. She was a huge brothers-only supporter, and was responsible for Misha being written out of the show (as well as Jim Beaver, Bobby) in order to get the show to just be about the brothers again. There’s a lot of drama regarding her treatment of Misha/Cas, but more recently she’s known for the Magicians debacle, a horrendous example of the Bury Your Gays trope. She’s also involved with (the showrunner of?) You on Netflix. She was a pretty good writer, but overall fans dislike her because of her showrunning tenure (notable episodes: “Faith” with Raelle Tucker, “Death’s Door,” “The Born-Again Identity”)

Jeremy Carver: writer from season 3 that was promoted to showrunner from seasons 8 through.... some time in 12, the timeline has been a little murky to me. He was the one who brought Cas back into the main plot, as well as allowing the deancas storyline to become genuine subtext (we can argue whether it was queerbaiting or what he was intending to do if he had been running the series finale, but yeah). Unfortunately, he was also the showrunner when Charlie was killed off brutally, which dampens his legacy. People are conflicted about his seasons, but generally he’s looked upon favorably (not related, but the picture that comes up when you search him on google is NOT him, he’s really like a typical white nerdy looking dude lol) (notable episodes: “The Rapture,” “Sacrifice,” “Do You Believe in Miracles?”)

Andrew Dabb: writer from season 4, promoted to showrunner during season 12 and is the last showrunner of Supernatural (he wrote the finale). He was well-liked by deancas fans for awhile because of how much screentime they were allowed to give, and because of the focus on extended/found family. Sam and Dean only fans didn’t like him for the same reasons. Unfortunately, HIS legacy has been marred by the awful series finale, though it’s debated whether that was his fault or because of network meddling. (notable episodes: “Dark Side of the Moon” with Daniel Loflin, “The Prisoner,” “Moriah”)

Robert Singer: executive producer since the beginning of the show (he’s also co-showrunner throughout Supernatural, but I don’t think he typically was involved with the plotlines too often). He’s directed quite a few episodes, including the infamous wire fight episode (s13 finale) as well as the series finale. Married to Eugenie Ross-Leming, writer of the show

Eugenie Ross-Leming/Brad Buckner: writing partners TECHNICALLY from season 1, but they only wrote one episode until they were brought back in season 7. They are regarded as the worst writers in all of Supernatural, responsible for tactless death scenes of fan-favorites (and typically minorities) like Kevin, Charlie, and Eileen. They also feature a gross amount of dubcon/noncon, racism, weird unnecessary sex stuff, and are SUPER into Lucifer for some unknown reason (they have a crush on Mark Pellegrino I guess). They’re also just kind of bad writers in general, their pacing is weird and their plots convoluted. To be fair, though, they have written some good moments, like Dean trying to reach Cas in Hell’s Angel and Dean’s confessional scene in Paint It Black. But overall, they suck. Why are they still on the show even though BOTH sides of the fandom (who never agree on ANYTHING) dislike them? Well, because Eugenie is married to Singer. Nepotism. (notable episodes, the ones I can stand to watch lmao: “Holy Terror,” “Hell’s Angel,” “Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven”)

Ben Edlund: writer from season 2 who left after season 8, but people STILL talk about him simply because he is arguably the strongest writer of the series. Cas fans particularly like him because he did most of the heavy-lifting regarding Cas’ characterization. He also wrote the famous bi!Dean scene with Aaron in season 8, where Dean is flustered after being flirted with. (notable episodes: “On the Head of a Pin,” “The French Mistake,” and my all-time favorite “The Man Who Would Be King”)

Robert “Bobo” Berens: writer from season 9, his first episode was “Heaven Can’t Wait,” which is all you really need to know about his influence on the deancas storyline. He’s also gay, so people particularly enjoy seeing how he approaches destiel in his episodes since it’s not just another straight guy potentially just catering to fans. He was also the one who was meant to go off and run Wayward Sisters, and is responsible for a lot of their development in recent seasons. I believe he also created Rowena? He wrote the episode this season where Cas confesses his love to Dean (along with other heavy deancas episodes like “The Trap”). Sam fans typically don’t like him because he doesn’t give him much focus. (notable episodes: “Heaven Can’t Wait,” “Who We Are,” “Wayward Sisters” with Andrew Dabb)

Steve Yockey: writer from season 12 through the beginning of season 15. Also gay, and also responsible for deancas moments in recent years. Generally loved for his deancas subtext but ALSO because he is an amazing writer who came out with iconic episodes. (notable episodes: “Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox,” “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets,” “Peace of Mind” with Meghan Fitzmartin)

Robbie Thompson: writer from seasons 7 through 11, and wrote some fan favorite episodes in the meantime. He is also the creator of fan favorite characters like Charlie and Eileen. He was also one of the few writers who was vocally supportive of destiel during his tenure rather than just later. I’m not implying anything about his intentions, but it was validating for him to encourage fans during a time where most of the cast/crew ignored or actively dismissed it. Plus his episodes are just fun! (notable episodes: “LARP and the Real Girl,” “Fan Fiction,” “Baby”)

Meredith Glynn: writer since season 12, has worked closely with Bobo during their seasons together. She and Bobo cowrote “The Future,” which is the mixtape episode, so she has been taken in by deancas fans haha. She also wrote the episode where Cas makes the deal with the Empty, so it’s pretty safe to say she and Bobo had worked on the deancas plotline together :) She’s also liked some deancas-related tweets on twitter, so she’s being subtly supportive (notable episodes: “Regarding Dean,” “The Future” with Robert Berens, “Byzantium”)

Davy Perez: writer since season 12 (a lot of the ones I’ve mentioned are, since this is when Dabb became showrunner and made changes in the writers room). His episodes tend to either be horror or bizarre. I mention him because he’s responsible for episodes like “Stuck in the Middle (With You)” (Cas’ first “I love you”) and “Tombstone” (aka Brokebacknatural lmao). I don’t know much about him otherwise, but that’s why he’s brought up usually (notable episodes: “Stuck in the Middle (With You),” “Tombstone,” “Atomic Monsters”)

hopefully this helps, and hopefully I didn’t forget about anyone major. There have been a LOT of people behind the scenes so it’s hard to say who to include. Like, I didn’t mention Jerry Wanek, Jim Michaels, Kim Manners, Thomas J. Wright, or others who might be mentioned from time to time.

[heartdrift]

I’m finding myself a bit puzzled about some of the takes I’ve been seeing lately from other Caryl fans. We’re all divided on how positive or negative we feel about the show, and everyone is free to their own opinions, but I’d like to share my own here. I guess you could call this my first attempt at genuine meta, though it’s not something I’m great at haha. 

I have personally never read the argument in “Find Me” as Daryl genuinely blaming Carol for C-onnie’s “death” - sure, he says it, and if you want to take that at face value, you can. But Carol specifically states that the argument isn’t about C-onnie or L-eah. That isn’t where Daryl’s anger and frustration is coming from, and I don’t think he meant it either. Carol sees this too. I think her lying to him and putting herself in danger is the source of his anger there, and honestly? I think it was probably a long time coming from S5 or S6. And I still think it’s good for them if anything!

Let me explain, and let’s go back to S10. I feel like Daryl was the most open he has ever been throughout the season, specifically with Carol. And she dodges his attempts every time (for her own reasons that I definitely understood and sympathized with). Carol running and trying to leave has been her theme since S5, except this time, she is actively lying to Daryl. 10x09 was the last straw because he has undoubtedly done everything in his power to get her to talk to him and be honest, and this time she promises him. And then she almost gets herself killed.

Now, I’m not gonna go through the resolution to that, and then their kind of weird unresolved tension that lingered in the S11 premiere. My point is that it all boils down to Daryl wanting her safe, and beyond that, wanting her to stay. 

This is something she really hasn’t done yet, something she has been struggling to do for seasons, and something I think she is actively proving that she wants to do now. 

So what’s this got to do with the argument in “Find Me”? Well, what is the harshest thing he said to her in that episode? For me, it’s him agreeing with her that she should’ve stayed on the boat. It’s definitely what hurts Carol the most.

But this is the same man that told her that he needed her to stay at the beginning of the season. The same one that asked her so tenderly why she didn’t just come on home. 

For me, it’s implied that he says this not because he wants her gone, but because he’s worried that she'll leave again and all she’s done is given him false hope that this time, she’ll stay.

Carol is right, and I believe the audience is meant to pick up on this too. It was never about C-onnie or L-eah. It was and always is about Carol. And in my honest opinion, his current storyline has done nothing to change that.